#i didnt get a break today at work so the pain is Worse Than Usual

[way2gosuperrstarr]

hey gang please hope or pray or whatever for me that when i wake up tomorrow i my legs arent in such horrible agony tomorrow that i can barely walk 🙏🙏🙏 i have to go to work tomorrow and i am closing completely by myself. again! 😁😁 🙏🙏🙏

[h3artbrok3nn]

i already hate this year dude and its only been 3 days into it i have been stuck with the devil, lost my best friend, been getting horrible pain since december, my insomnia has drastically gotten worse, i realize how i cant open up to literally anyone anymore (besides my bf), my dad has been extremely sick, my self harm cuts are starting to show all around my body, my mom yelled at me for having no irl friends, im getting called emo every day now (i hate when people call me emo dude), im too scared to talk to people, my stepmom is slowly starting to realize shit, my 21st attempt of suicide didnt work, my stepbrother is in prison and hes the only one i really talked too, my brother wants me dead, my mom couldnt care less about me (as usual), im getting sicker and sicker everyday, my body became more weak, my anxiety has also increased, my teacher is back and hes gonna see right through me, my boyfriend might start to get annoyed by me, my hallucinations are much worse, i keep seeing demons idk- literally losing my bestfriend was like the icing on my fucked up cake- i was literally gonna bring him his late Christmas gift tomorrow today too- idk wtf im supposed to do with it now. I only have 2 irl friends now and my boyfriend. Thats all I talk to. I dont even see juanny (one of my irl best friends) much anymore. I barley talk to him and hes the one who told me that my other best friend wanted to drop me. The only reason why I see my second and last best friend now is because i have 2 classes with her but besides that, i dont see her at all

and the best friend i lost i saw everyday in the morning and during his lunch when im on my way to choir speaking of best friends, my old bff adri keeps making me do her fucking bidding and idk dude and dani's birthday is now in 10 days- shes gonna be 14 dude ive known her since she was 10 and it breaks my heart we arent friends anymore and evan is gonna be 18 next month which is crazy- ive known him since he was 14. this is already a really hard year. with everything going on with my father, and him always yelling about him killing himself and gonna die soon, it only makes me think i'll lose him. I love my dad so fucking much dude- i cannot lose him but i see only the worst coming because of all this. If my dad dies when im still in these conditons im ggonna be with my mom for the rest of my highschool years, my stepmom will be gone, i'll never see my older brothers again, nor my cousin, or my stepmoms family. I'll be stuck with that fucking thing for the next 3 years all alone in this room where it feels like im always being chained to a wall. idk whats happening anymore- nothing makes sense i wanna give up- life isnt worth living- im about to lose all my online friends too dude im gonna go back to 2019- when i was gone from the internet for like 2 years and when i came back, everything and everyone was gone im gonna be all alone again and just trapped in my mind with my hallucinations and my nightmares my mom only encourages me to kill myself, shes the worst. My stepmom is more of a mom than her and I hate her a lot of the time too but I still love her just because she was here for me when my mom wasnt. My mom doesnt know my first words, she doesnt know what things i like, she doesnt know anything much about me. She has to go through my phone and look at my conversations when Im alseep. She doesnt even give me privacy. Meanwhile my stepmom knows me, but she doesnt know my first words cause she wasnt around when i was that young since i started talking at like 9 months old but like the point is shes there to help me with school, do everything for me, be there for me, and literally everything my mom has never ever in her pathetic little preppy pick me girl life. my dad told me that my mom made him almost killl himself- if he did, i would have been an orphan. my mom only takes care of me because of the childsupport money my dad is forced to give her every month. and she tried doubling it like a little bitch because i started calling my stepmom "mom". if my dad were to have killed himself, idk what the fuck my life would have been like but it might be better without her tbh and yeah like sure my dad used to be abusive as shit but my stepmom saved me from that and everything

so hes fine now i mean he had one slip back in march, but besides that hes been okay. i'll never like new years. not only do i have to think about my grandma who was murdered when my dad was only 9, but i have to worry for my father because its like the day he wants to die the most. This was the first year not being with him on new years to cheer him up- i was so worried, and it turned out i was right for being worried. Not getting into that. This year is so rough already within the first 3 days, I hate it I HATE IT SO MUCH DUDE. im sorry idk anymore. I fucking hate this

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}

As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.

It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.

You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.

“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.

Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.

“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.

Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.

Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.

Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.

“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”

You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.

“Kai I think I need to go...”

It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.

“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”

It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.

——————————————————————————

You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.

“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.

“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.

“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.

“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.

You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.

“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.

“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”

You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.

——————————————————————————

“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.

“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.

You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.

“Are you mad at me too?”

The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.

Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.

“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”

You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.

——————————————————————————

Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.

You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.

You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.

“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.

“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.

“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.

“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”

“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”

He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.

——————————————————————————

Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?

He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.

There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.

He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.

His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.

You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”

You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.

“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”

You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.

“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.

He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.

“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”

You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.

[weeb-writor]

Do you still love me?

Hello lovelies! Today I am back with a angst piece but a happy ending don't fret too much! I was really thinking about making it end horribly or leaving it up to the readers imagination but I decided nahh i couldn't do that to my heart. So here Bakugou and his s/o who fell out of love??(or did they??) when then have a large family in the mix. I have also decided im kind of obsessed with domestic pieces lol, they are like more than half of all my posts. Anywho, reader is neutral hope you guys enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

You and Bakugou call its quits not thinking of what it would do to your 5 kids who are stuck in the middle

Words:  3606

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“Are we going to dad’s today?” Hiroyuki asked softly.

“Yeah, your going to spend the weekend with him, all of you.” You smiled at him.

“Can I bring Tokki?” He said looking at the ground already knowing your answer.

“We went over this last time baby, Daddy can't have pets at his new place and Tokki is a cat, he likes staying at home.” You said with a sigh. It really sucks that it came down to this, spend a week with you then a weekend with dad, then rinse repeat. Sometimes you even wondered if it was better. That’s what you and Bakugou told each other, I mean what else can you do when you fall out of love? You approached your car where all of your other children were waiting. You and Hiroyuki sat down and signaled the diver to go.

“We going to daddy’s right?” Kohana said as she bounced around in her seat. You booped her nose and nodded at her.

“Yay, daddy’s home!” Yoko said, clapping.

“Don't get excited Yoko, Dad’s probably busy. Were probably gonna be with Grandpa and Grandma.” Hiroyuki said playing with your fingers.

“You're so dramatic Yuki! Of course dad is busy! He is a Hero but he always makes time for us.” Your oldest said little explosion going off around her.

“Kaori.” You warned her with a stern voice. The little sparks calmed and she went back to quietly gazing out the window. 

“Your dad is a hero and therefore busy but I know he is very excited to see you all and will spend all the time he has with you.” You smiled at them. They all smiled back before going back into relative silence. When you and Bakugou decided to have a big family you were ecstatic and so was he. This, however, wasn't what you imagined. A tiny rift right threw your family and it was growing bigger everyday. When you told the kids about the spilt they didnt say much and the youngest ones didnt even really understand but as they lived through it, they changed. They formed their own opinions about who’s fault it is and why it happened. And now they were splitting up, there was Kaori the eldest who didn't care too much, Yoko, and Kohana. At the opposite end was Hiroyuki, just him. Your fragile little boy who was so sure it was his dad’s fault. Saiyuri was too young to choose a side but all the change wasn't really helping the 11th month old baby.

“We have arrived.” The diver announced. You thanked him while getting everyone out of the seats and exiting the car. Bakugou lived in an apartment now at the tippy top of course. It was a long and loud elevator ride as your kids were antsy to see their dad. When it opened Bakugou was standing there waiting for them and was immediately met with an armful of girls.

“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Kohana said almost in tears.

“Misses Daddy.” Yoko echoed her sister.

“Yeah, I missed all you brats too, you better have been on your best behavior! You have to keep up the Bakugou reputation.” He teased them

“Of course we have! I'm still number one in my quirk development classes. Yuki has the best grades in all of his grade. Kohana is reading at a 3rd grade level already and Yoko and Saiyuri are everyone's favorite at the Daycare!” Kaori said with vigor.

“Yeah, your all Bakugou’s for sure.” He chuckled at them. He turned to talk to Hiroyuki but he was gone. You heard a door shut, he was probably already in his room.

“I've got homework to do dad and them we should do something all together!” Kaori said kissing his check before taking off. Her sisters followed her as usual.

“How long do you think he’ll be like that?” Bakugou asked you with a sigh.

“Honestly I don't know, it's not like I tell him awful things about you. Maybe it would have been better if we did cause then he would have one thing to be angry about, one event, It would be easier than him just being angry at you.” You said placing Saiyuri onto the ground to walk around.

“They’re so mature and smart I forget they’re so young. Hell we don't understand why it happened, you can't just pinpoint a time where you fell outta love, it’s gradual. So how can we expect them too.” Bakugou said, sounding in pain.

“Yeah, sucks they had to witness it. I’ve got to go meet up with someone but just… He thinks you’re going to call your parents and abandon them to do Hero work. I know you can't put off everything but I think he just wants to know that for once he can come first to you.” You said as you kissed Saiyoui’s forehead. You were about to enter the elevator when a weight crashed into you. You didn't have to look down too far to see Hiroyuki hugging you.

“Take care of Tokki, please.”

“Yes and you make sure you and your sisters behave for your dad.” He sighed but nodded at you. You gave him one last hair ruffle before leaving. You couldn't help but think this wasn't ever gonna get any easier. You sighed before heading to the next destination, a café to meet with a few of your friends.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice call to you as soon as you opened the door. You identified the voice as Mina.

“Mina! Long time no see!” You said giving her a hug.

“Y/n, dear come sit down.” Momo said smiling at you, you sat down with the group.

“How are you doing.” Mina asked you cautiously

“I’m surprisingly doing awful, I see Bakugou too much to truly get over him. The kids are still adjusting to us being apart and Hiroyuki has been really upset and distant. I thought breaking up would fix a lot but it just made everything worse.” You sighed out.

“Well of course it did!!!” Urakara whisper yelled.

“You and Bakugou called it quits way too soon! I've never seen someone handle Bakugou the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone love him like you. Hell Bakugou loves you so much it’s ridiculous! Do you remember when he was gonna put his hero work on hold because of Kaori! I’m sorry y/n but I’m not buying this fell out of love thing.” Deku rushed out.

“Mm I’d have to agree. If there is anything I’ve learned from being friends with Bakugou it’s that he never half ass anything and if he put time into it he’s gonna see it through till the end so, logically it doesn’t make sense.” Todoroki said quietly.

“Yeah so what’s your side of the story?” Mina asked carefully.

“I… loved him, you know and when we had kids it only intensified but now it’s different. Bakugou is a great dad don’t get me wrong but he’s absent and that was fine when it was just me, Kaori, Hiroyuki, and Kohana but now there is Yoko and Saiyuri. It’s hard when they all have different school times and different needs cause of their ages. It’s hard because I had to put part of my life on hold, I went to UA too and I was supposed to be one of the greatest support people out there, every agency would want me. But it was Bakugou’s dream first so I sacrificed it all in a heartbeat. Over the years he just got more busy and I got more left behind. I’m tired of waiting up till 3am to make sure he’s alright knowing I have to be up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. I… love him and I don’t want to argue with him and I could feel myself growing angry at him, feel myself growing resentful. So I brought it up under the disguise of “do you still love me” and he said No… so that was that and we were done the next week.” You said not meeting their eyes. They just looked at you with wide eyes.

“Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.” Momo said softly.

“It’s fine, he is the love of my life and our kids are my everything so I would do it all again, just for them.” You smiled with a few tears cascading down your face.

“You haven’t tried to talk to him about this, you still love him, you guys can fix this.” Deku said almost mumbling.

“But he doesn’t love me and so there is nothing to talk about. Now come on let’s talk about something else. You can hear sob stories like mine anytime.” You waved them off. They were hesitant but the conversation did pick up about their lives and your time at UA, at least the happy parts. The rest of your two days without your kids were a blur. You just remember waking up with your phone going off a Monday.

“Hello is this Bakugou Y/n?” A women’s said. The title hurt just a bit.

“Yes it is.” You responded drowsily.

“I am very sorry you have to receive a call like this but your son Bakugou Hiroyuki has been rushed to the hospital, his sister did refuse to leave his side so she is there as well.” You were silent before hanging up and immediately calling Bakugou.

“What’s up?” He rushed out. He sounded panicked so he must have gotten a call too.

“I need you to pick up Yoko and Saiyuri.” You said rushing to put in on your clothes.

“What? But yuki is in the hospital, we’ve got to be there.” He said 

“Yes but they are done with daycare in.” You paused to look at the clock on your way out the door. “A hour. If we don’t get them now we’ll have to leave him to get them.” You said finally in your car.

“Yeah and he would rather be with you than me…” he trailed off.

“I didn’t say that.” You rushed out

“You didn’t need to, I'll get them and be there as soon as I can.” He said hanging up. You sighed and continued your drive to the hospital. When you got there you rushed to the room where you looked in and saw your son unconscious and Kaori laying next to him.

“So he is going to be okay, we do want him to remain here for another day or two.” The doctor said to you, smiling.

“Okay but what’s wrong with him.” 

“Well he hasn’t been eating or drinking or sleeping enough, especially for a boy experiencing his growth spurt. Pair that with how much he has been using his quirk in class and you have a pretty bad situation.” She said as if it was nothing to worry about.

“Uhhh okay so we just need to make sure he is eating and drinking right?” You said pacing a little.

“Yeah and I would figure out what made him stop. Your daughter was very adamant about it not being abuse just that there was something going on at home and he is trying to deal with it.” The doctor said as you froze thinking you did this to him.

“Just a divorce…” you trailed off.

“Yeah that will do it but I don’t need to know about it. It's your business just make sure to talk to him so you don’t end up back here.” She said before leaving, you let out a few tears before heading into the room. Noticing you, Kaori got up and was hugging you tighter than she ever had.

“Did you know he wasn’t taking care of himself?” You asked, stroking her hair. She shook her head no.

“I didn’t either, I didn’t know it was hitting him so hard… you know you can ask me about anything, tell me anything… me and your dad will always be in your corner.” You said lifting her chin so you gazed into her eyes.

“But you're both not in our corner anymore. You guys are in to different corners and it’s hard to keep up with two different houses and two different.. well everything’s.” She said looking away from you.

“I never meant to you guys to feel like this, I just…” You trailed off but before you could finish Hiroyuki tossed and turned in his bed.

“Yuki sweetie, can you hear me?” You said as you rushed to his side.

“Mmm.” He said, he’s eyes still shut in pain.

“Oh baby, i'm so sorry I didn't notice you were in pain. It’s never gonna happen again, okay? Do you need something?” You said stroking his hair, he hummed before falling back to sleep. You sighed and kissed his forehead.

“So whats up with him?” Bakugou rushed into the room with the girls in his arms.

“He hasn’t been eating, or drinking, or sleeping. So when he used his quirk it drained his body and he’s here for 1 or 2 more days.” You said eyes never leaving his.

“That's impossible, he was just with me… he… didn't eat very much.” He trailed off. You hummed at him understanding how he was felling as you missed the signs too.

“Hey, girls I texted Grandma and Grandpa and they said they miss you so much. So while we take care of Yuki how about you guys go see them, yeah? Mr. Yuri is waiting to take you.” You smiled at them. You see a fire rise in Kaori but it goes out quick as Bakugou ruffles her hair.

“Okay then, be good for them and don't cause too much trouble. Mr. Yuri will pick up Kohana, Kaori please explain what's happening to her. And don't worry, we’ll see you real soon.” You said waving the girls out of the room. When they were out of sight you and Bakugou visually deflated. 

“Katsuki, how does this keep happening?” You asked him

“What?”

“How do things keep getting worse, first the break up, then the kids being mad at each other, Yuki’s anger at you, and now this.” You cried out.

“The break up was bad to you?” He asked voice cracking.

“Why wouldn't it be, Katsuki I know you don't love me anymore but I…” You trailed off

“Would you just spit it out dumbass! This is why we didn't work out because you never say shit. You just bottle it up and never lean on me or depend on me the way I do to you. You used to say “we're a team” all the time but in the last 2 years you haven't said it once. It was you who fell out of love with me so don't pretend like it was so hard for you.” He yelled at you.

“This is why we don't talk Katsuki, all you wanna do is yell and project all the feelings you bottle up from working so goddamn much. Of course it was hard on me and you would know why if you could drop your ego and talk to me like you can tolerate being around me or love me!” You yelled back at him but before the argument could turn into a big screaming match your sons voice rang out.

“Would you two just stop it…” He said weakly.

“Yuki, im sorry we shouldn't have been yelling even if you were asleep.” Bakugou said caressing his check. At the touch Hiroyuki let out the tears he’s been holding in.

“Its us isn't it?” He paused to look at you. “Me and my sisters… You had Kaori and me pretty young and you didn't really get to be young. You had all of us before you really got to live together just the two of you.. And Uncle Izuku and Auntie Urakara's relationship is doing fine even though they started to date around the same time as you, difference is they just started having kids like 4 years ago… Im 12 and Kaori is 13. So its us isnt?…” He said curling into himself.

“Kid, I'm not gonna lie to you, having you and Kaori at the ages we did was a nightmare. We were barely out of school, we lived with my parents for a while cause we didn't have jobs or a place of our own and even we did get one it was a shitty hole in the wall place but even at the young age of 19 we pulled our shit together and made it work so when you came a year later we were a lot more prepared. Yes we did miss out on a lot of things people our age did but we had you and Kaori and that was so much better than party’s and hangovers. Then we decided to have Kohana, Yoko, and Saiyuri and you all make us so happy. You all have nothing, not a damn thing to do with what's going on between me and y/n. If we ever made you feel like you did we didn't mean to. We love you so much and I am so sorry if we ever made it seem like it was your fault.” Bakugou said, eyes boring into Hiroyuki’s. Hiroyuki looked at you and you nodded to show you agreed with Bakugou.

“Don't ever forget how much we love you, okay? Now you should eat, we’ll get you anything you want.” You said wiping your tears with a smile.

“If it's not too much trouble, I want you and dad’s spicy pork curry and you guys should take some to the girls.” He said drowsily.

“But in order to make that we both would have to leave since it's a meal we make together… we couldn't leave you here alone.” You said mostly to yourself before any could say anything else a new voice was heard entering the room.

“You guys go talk and make him some food, ill stay with him. I didn't watch you guys terribly flirt and kiss everywhere just for it to end over some miscommunications.” Aizawa said as he took the seat next to Hiroyuki. Aizawa had remained close with a lot of students from 1A, becoming like a second dad but he had been extra close with you and Bakugou. When Kaori came into the equation he was like a nanny to her and it only increased when Hiroyuki was born, the two having a really strong bond so neither you or Bakugou was shocked he showed up.

“Okay, then old man. Watch my kid.” Bakugou said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. You almost forgot what his calloused hand felt like. He drug you to his car and the car ride was mostly silent. The talking began when you began to cook in the house you used to share.

“Do you love me?” You asked as you cut pork

“Yes, I love you. I never stopped, I am in love with you y/n. Today I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” He said slicing onions.

“Then why did you say that, say that you didn't love me.”

“Because I could see it, you don't look at me the same. We don't talk the way we used to. I don't want to string you along and make you hate being with me, because I love you more than life itself. And I was scared that one day you would wake up and you wouldn't need me and realize how easy it would be to leave me. That it would be my fault we ended because I was so focused on me I didn't see your pain. Scared that I would wake up and gaze into your eyes and find no love or joy in them. So I decided to let you go… I was thinking we just needed a break but you suggested a divorce and I agreed because I would do anything to make sure you keep that beautiful smile of yours. Even if you weren't smiling at me anymore… do you..” He said calmly, growing more emotional with each word.

“Yea, I never ever stopped. I was just tired, I am tired. But I want nothing more than for us to work… we can get through this, can't we?” You asked cautiously.

“Of course we can, we are Bakugous, we can do whatever the hell we want. And it will be different this time, we’ll talk about things and communicate better, I swear. I aint seeing a shrink though.” He said flicking water at you to make his last point more effective.

“Yes we are.” You giggled at him.

“No we aren't, you shitty dumbass. We don't need help, I can talk about my feelings without some dumb wanna be life coach.” He yelled as he began to wash the rice.

“Well we don't have to but I guess that means Zuku and Urakara have a better relationship than us since they go to counseling…” you trailed off with a shrug.

“Oh fuck you!” He roared at you, you giggled knowing he would now go. This was the most normal you felt in months, the happiest for sure. Just maybe things would be okay, and who were you kidding you could never fall out of love with the spiky haired explosion boy no matter what he did. It was toxic in a way but you could unpack that in the therapy sessions you were gonna force him to attend.

[laddieseddiemunster]

A poly lost boys x reader who gets bullied in school. But hear me out! So she gets bullied but one day they(the bullies) pour this sort of 'bleach' over her and it gets into her eyes and her hair color changed. And so she avoids the boys as much as possible so they show up to her house and see her how would they react and deal with the bullies?

Thank you for the request! Also the part where she gets bleach in her eyes I cut out because she would have permanent damage in her eyes if that were to happen. So only her hair gets bleached. I hope you don’t mind.

Another long fanfic :) hope you enjoy!

Bullied (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

warning(s): angst & violence

Being picked on every now and then is one thing, but being brutally bullied by the most popular girls in school is another. The worst part was, everyone seemed to love and worship them. You hated going to school. Everyone believed their nasty comments about you, and soon you didn’t have anyone on your side.

The boys were your only escape from it all. They treated you like a princess. You were gorgeous to them, and that’s all that really mattered. Their complements made you feel special and confident. As long as you were beautiful in their eyes, the nasty girls that were bullying you opinions didn’t phase you. Of course it still hurt, but you had the boys, and you loved them.

You got used to the bullying after a while. The boys were unaware of it because you didn’t know exactly how they’d react. They were a bit protective of you. Before you met the boys the bullying wasn’t as bad, but when you started dating them it got worse. Those horrible girls found out and started called you a whore and slut for dating four boys at once. They were jealous. You knew that, but the harsh name calling got to you sometimes. You never let them see you cry though. All they wanted was to get a reaction out of you, and you knew that.

This day didnt start off any different from the rest. You went to school, got some dirty looks from your schoolmates, and went to your classes. The only difference was, you hadn’t seen the mean girls who’d bully you. Perhaps today would be better than you’d thought.

Lunch came around and you were forced to eat some of the disgusting cafeteria food. The smell made you want to gag. As you were walking towards the lunch tables [insert bully girl name] called you over to her. You didn’t trust her one bit. She had been bullying you for a while, so why should you trust her?

“Come here! I just wanna talk to you,” she said waving you over to her. You rolled you eyes thinking that she was just going to pick on you. You decided to walk over anyway, but standing a couple feet away from her to keep your distance.

She looked over at you, giving you the up and down stare. “So, hows your day been?”

“Okay, I guess,” You said feeling very confused. There was no way this girl would want to start a friendship with you.

“Well, I called you over here because I wanted to ask you a few questions,” She said which made you feel a bit worried.

“What kind of questions?” You asked giving her a questioning look.

“Well i wanted to know if you were really dating those four guys?” She asked with a slight smirk on her face. “Or if it’s just a rumor.”

You rolled your eyes again thinking she was just going to call you a whore. “Yes I am.”

Instead of doing that, she sighed and looked to the ground. “You must be lucky.”

“Yeah umm, yeah I guess I am,” You said with a small smile creeping on your face as you thought of how lucky you were.

“Actually, umm,” she said with a pause. “I didn’t call you over here to ask you questions.”

You sighed. “Then why’d you call me over here?” You asked with slight attitude knowing that this girl was not trustworthy.

“I wanted to apologize,” she said fidgeting a bit.

“For what?” You said giving her a strange look. If she was going to give you an apology for all those years of bullying, then you wanted to hear her say it.

“I’m sorry for...” she paused again. Her eyes looked to the ground as she was speaking. Then all of a sudden her expression changed. Her apologetic frown changed into a slight smirk, but at the same time she was giving you a look of disgust in her eyes. “I’m sorry for your boyfriends, because they have to deal with an ugly slut like you!” She smiled as if she was proud of what she was saying. You sighed again while mentally cursing yourself for even believing that she’d give you an apology.

“Now!” She yelled but you could tell that she wasn’t talking to you. She backed away from you quickly as if she was running for something. Then all of a sudden you felt some drops of liquid start to fall on you. At first you thought it was rain, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. You weren’t too fazed by it until you recognized the smell. It was a strong smell that was hard to forget. Before you could try to run away, a whole waterfall of the substance was dumped on top of you. As if someone was standing above you with a bucket and on purposely dropped it all over you.

The smell was now stronger than ever. Your hair and clothes were now all wet, but not with water. You noticed your top had completely lost its color, and a nightmare you’d never thought would happen to you was happening. This was bleach. You were practically inhaling it, so you started to cough. A sound that happened to be louder than your coughing made you pause. Laughter. From the girls you hated the most. You looked above you and saw that a couple of them were standing on the building you were in front of, so you were right below them.

Reality sunk in quick. This was no nightmare. Your worst enemies had just poured bleach all over you. Your hands started to shake. Not out of pain, but out of fear and shock.

“Hey y/n!” One of the girls said while still laughing. “It’s not so bad. Maybe your boyfriends will like you now, since your hair is bleached.” She cackled.

Your heart sunk to your stomach. Bleach can ruin anyone’s hair, and it was all over you. The sound of those terrible girls laughing filled your ears as you ran to the nearest bathroom. You looked in the mirror and realized your hair was already loosing its natural color. You let out a loud gasp, but to you it sounded silent. You didn’t look like yourself.

Quickly, you turned the handle for the sink letting the water run on your now bleached hair. You tried desperately to remove the beach and get your original color back, but nothing worked. The roots of your hair were now all the same yellow/blonde color.

“Oh, don’t be upset!” Said one of the bully’s. “You don’t look like your ugly self anymore!”

“Go away!” You yelled at them with your bottom lip trembling as you were trying to hide the fact that you were on the brink of sobbing. “Leave me alone!”

“Aww, you gonna cry?” They taunted you. “The little baby’s gonna cry!” You pushed past them and ran out of the bathroom letting tears escape your eyes. You could still hear their laughter and insults from behind you, but you didn’t look back. You ran all the way home not caring that you still had a couple classes to take. Their bullying was never this bad. You were able to handle it for a while, but they crossed the line.

The reflection in your bedroom mirror wasn’t the person you recognized. You felt ugly. Your hair was now all bleached, and you didn’t have the money to go and get it done. All you could do was try to get used to it. Your confidence level was now at zero. You had grown to love your natural hair, and now it was gone. All because of those horrible jealous girls.

The thought of the boys seeing your new hair that you thought was hideous made you want to crawl up in a hole and never come out. You hated seeing the way you now looked, so how would the boys react? You cried yourself to sleep at the thought of them leaving you because of how ugly you now looked. You decided not to go to school for the next few days. Facing the girls wasn’t something you were ready for yet. You didn’t even want to see the boys. From fear of their reactions, you didn’t visit them or call them.

The boys were a little confused on the first night of not showing up on the boardwalk, but they decided not to worry too much about it. They just assumed that maybe you needed some space. After a week of you not speaking to them, the boys started to get worried. You would never just stop talking to them out of the blue. They were all confused, and even a little sad. David knew you well enough to know that you wouldn’t stop talking to them unless you were upset about something. The only problem was, he couldn’t understand what it was. None of them could. They assumed you were mad at them because you weren’t speaking to them, but they had no idea what they had done.

David got pretty impatient after the first week, and he let the boys know that they were going to go to your house if you weren’t going to speak with them. If you wanted to break up, they wanted a reason why.

You had been trying to get some sleep from the nights of crying, but you were taken off guard by hearing the sounds of motorcycles outside your house. You recognized that sound. It was a sound you knew only too well. The boys were here, and they were here for an explanation that you weren’t prepared to give.

Kicking your blankets out of the way as you got out of bed as quick as you could while looking for something that could possibly cover your hair. You found a hoodie and immediately put on. There was no point in trying to escape, you knew the boys would find you. Right as you were putting the hood over your head, you heard your window open.

“Baby?” You could tell by the tone of voice that it was Paul. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You didn’t dare face him. You could already tell that he had his usual pouting sad face on that was just too adorable to be mean to.

“Y/n,” Marko said. “Please, look at us.” His voice was slightly shaky, as if he was worried you wanted to end the relationship.

Your back was still towards them. You knew there was no way out of this, but that didn’t stop you from trying.

“Please go away,” you said feeling tears start to form in your eyes. Marko decided to not listen. He walked up to you and grabbed you lightly by the shoulders forcing you to turn to him. He had a confused yet soft expression on his face.

“What’s the matter?” He asked you while putting his hands on both sides of your face. That question just made you feel worse, and the tears that were threatening to fall were now falling. Marko’s expression was now turned to worry and sadness. He hated seeing you cry. He wiped your tears away with his thumbs before doing what you were trying to avoid. Marko grabbed the sides of the hoodie, and pulled it off of your head.

Your eyes started to tear up again waiting for him to tell you that you looked terrible. Instead, he reached over to touch your bleached hair, and the frown on his face turned into a smile. “Wow.” he said. “You look gorgeous.”

Then they all came up to do with a look of awe in their eyes. You were definitely taken aback by their reactions. You expected them to hate your new hair, but it was the exact opposite.

“Daaammnn sugar, look at you,” Paul said while brushing his fingers through your hair. You giggled at his choice of words.

“It doesn’t look bad?” You asked.

“Bad?!” Marko exclaimed. “Far from it!”

“You look beautiful,” Dwayne said with a smile on his face. “Just as beautiful as you were before.”

“Y/n,” David said catching your attention away from the other boys. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You cringed after hearing that question. You were able to avoid it the first time, but something tells you that you won’t be able to this time. “Did you stop talking to us because you dyed your hair?” David said with slight sarcasm, but also slight attitude.

“N-no. No, it wasn’t that,” you said looking away from the boys.

“Then what was it?” David asked. You could tell he wanted an answer right away, and there wasn’t much you could do.

You sighed. “I didn’t do this to my hair,” The boys looked at each other with a look of confusion on all their faces. “It was forced.”

“What do you mean?” David asked while stroking your face with his knuckles.

“These girls pulled a prank on me last week,” you said half lying. “They dumped bleach all over me, and it changed my hair.”

“A prank?!” Marko asked raising his voice. “That’s no damn prank!” You knew Marko got angry a lot quicker than the other boys did. This wasn’t something he was going to sweep under the rug, Marko was going to want revenge.

“Yeah!” Paul agreed. “Why would they do that to you?” He asked still touching your new hair.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess they just don’t like me.” You refused to tell them that the bullying was caused because the girls were jealous of you for dating them.

“Well who are these girls? I wanna give them a piece of my mind?!” Marko exclaimed.

“No!” You knew that the boys were vampires. You found out accidentally by walking into the cave when Marko was feeding. It didn’t go to well, but the boys managed to convince you that they would never hurt you. But, you already knew that Marko wanted to kill your bullies. “You’ll just make things worse!”

“They deserve this!” Paul said only making matters worse for you. “No one does this to our babe!”

You groaned knowing that the boys wouldn’t stop arguing until they found out who the girls were. You wanted the bullying to stop, but at the same time you didn’t want the girls to die.

David put his hand under your jawline making you into his eyes. “Y/n, tell us who the girls are.” You could tell by the way David was speaking that this wasn’t a request, this was a demand. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now. You walked to your bookshelf and grabbed a yearbook from the previous school year. Flipping through the pages, you found your grade category, and pointed out each of the girls to them.

“That’s them?” Dwayne asked sounding surprised.

“Yeah, you know them?” You asked him.

“Babe, those girls have been trying to get with us for ages. We always rejected them,” Paul said which made you smile.

“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go get those girls!” Marko said clearly ready for a killing spree.

“No! Please don’t kill them,” you said grabbing onto Marko’s jacket. “They’re jerks, but they don’t deserve to die.”

“I think they do,” David said smirking at the idea of slaughtering your bullies.

“How about this,” you paused grabbing all of their attention onto you. “You guys can scare them by showing your vampire faces, and they should stay away from me after that right? They’ll probably be too scared to get near me, and no one at school will believe them!”

“I like the killing idea better,” Marko said while pouting in a playful way.

“Please.” Now you were the one pouting.

The boys looked at each other. You knew that they would rather kill all the girls, so you got lucky when they agreed to your plan.

You knew that the mean girls would go to the bonfire late at night for party’s or just to hang out, so that made your plan a bit easier. The boys loved to scare people almost as much as they loved killing, so they were excited for it all to unravel. You rode on the back of David’s bike as he drove to the bonfire with the other boys riding behind him. He drove with a smirk on his face, which meant he was ready to scare the shit out of those girls. You’re his baby, and no one better hurt you.

Luckily, when you all got there, the girls were by themselves. You decided to stay with the bikes, so the girls wouldn’t see you. The thought of being around those girls made you feel uncomfortable. They were terrible people, and you weren’t ready to face them. The boys sure were though. They were ready to make them scream out of fear.

When the girls saw the boys walk towards them they immediately started to get flirty. “What are you guys doing here? Did you come to see us?” One of them said.

“Actually we did,” David said. “We heard what you did to y/n.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry, it was an accident. I swear! The bucket of bleach just happened to drop all over her.” She said sarcastically.

“That was a really bitchy thing to do.” Marko said not buying any of her bullshit.

“Come on, you guys. She wasn’t pretty anyways! We did her a favor. I think you all deserve someone much prettier than her.” Another one of them said walking up to David.

The girls tried to touch David’s chest, but before she could he grabbed her by the wrist. “I think you all need a taste of your own medicine.” He said before completely transforming into his vampire face. The girl gasped and started to scream. David’s grip was too strong, so she couldn’t run away. Dwayne and Paul grabbed the two girls that tried to run away, and Marko grabbed the last girl and pushed her to the ground. He pinned her to the floor with his foot on her back, and he grabbed her by the hair so she’d face up. Marko called you over to him still holding the girl down. By this point all the boys were transformed, making all the girls whimper and cry.

Marko pulled the girls hair hard making her cry out of pain. “I want you to apologize to y/n, and don’t give some sorry ass apology.”

“I-I’m sorry!” She yelled with tears of fear and pain running down her face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry y/n!”

“You’re sorry for what?!” Marko said pulling her hair again.

“I’m sorry for dumping bleach on you y/n!” She whimpered. “I’m so sorry!”

You didn’t respond to her. You wanted to feel bad for her, but you couldn’t. Actually, you felt the exact opposite. You enjoyed seeing the tears run down her face. It reminded you of all the times she made you cry. In a way, it was satisfying. In a sick twisted way, it gave you pleasure. You wanted them to suffer more. They had been making you suffer for too long, and now it was time for it to end. They were messing with the wrong girl.

“Kill them.” You said out of nowhere. The boys all turned to you. They definitely didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth.

“What?” Paul asked a bit shocked.

“Kill them.” You repeated. That was enough clarification for the boys. They started to dig in. Biting and ripping through the girls skin making them scream and sob. Instead of turning away, you decided to watch. You watched as the boys tore off the girls limbs and fingers. You listened to their screams. It didn’t scare you like it would terrify a regular person. You watched as if you were watching a cartoon on tv. The screaming didnt stop. Their faces off terror didn’t go away. It all made you happy. Those girls were getting what they deserved. Their yelps and screams were like music to your ears. Their begging and pleading made you wanna laugh. They shoudve watched what they said about you, because it came back and bit them in the ass. Literally.

The screaming soon came to a stop, and all you could hear was the wind blowing. They were dead. Their blood was all over the floor and some on the boys. You watched as the boys threw the remains of the girls into the fire. You never thought you’d be watching your worst enemies get slaughtered in front of you, and it was worth the watch. They had it coming, and now they are gone. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t feel guilty at all. For the first time in years, you could go to school without worrying about these horrible girls picking on you. Now they were nothing. You were free from those girls. Their deaths brought a smile to your face. You never had to hear their nasty words again. Now, they’re just faces on missing posters.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan works on winning Everly back as his jealousy continues to rise.]

Fluff

Negan and Everly PART TWO

As the days went on Negan never left your side. It was hard to consider yourself suddenly back together with him after everything and you weren't afraid to let him know this. As stubborn as he was, he didnt care if you considered yourself with him or not. He knew he wasnt going to leave your side and he promised himself he'd show you that you could trust him. One thing you noticed was that you never really saw Daryl anymore. You missed his friendship and his company. He watched from afar but decided not to meddle in as long as you were okay. Until one day he spotted Negan on the porch by himself having a beer. The door of the house was open and he noticed you looking a bit uncomfortable on the couch. You winced feeling the baby begin to kick hard when Daryl headed towards the house. Negan looking out in the other direction never noticing Daryl making his way close to the door. Without stepping in, he peaked inside and heard you moan in discomfort.

"Ya alright"? Negan turned to Daryls voice, his voice instantly making you look up.

"Hey, yeah I'm fine. The baby is just kicking a whole lot today." You called out to him just as Negan leaned in to look over at you to make sure you were indeed alright.

"Shes fine, why dont you go worry about your pal Rick."

"Should make sure ya womans alright before going about cha business." He looked over at the beer bottle sitting on the floor in reference.

"Oh you're just waiting for me to screw up arent you?" Negan grinned getting very close to Daryl.

"Daddy fucks up so ol' red neck Daryl can save the day."

"Negan it's fine." You rushed to the door as fast as you could not liking how they both stared at each other. Daryl turned away from him as you stepped to the door and unhooked something from his belt.

"Here, I got cha these. Heard they good for babies or somethin'." Negan watched as Daryl handed you a small bag of blue berries making him scoff.

"You just dont give up."

"Negan he isnt doing anything wrong. Thank you, Daryl."

Negan didnt take his eyes off Daryl who eventually gave him a threatening glare in return. The two men slowly charging closer to one another before Daryl sucked his teeth.

"Ya ain't worth getting her worked up."

Daryl quietly walked away as Negan looked down at him in disapproval and watched him walk off the porch.

"Come on get inside." Negan turned back to you entering the house with you.

"What do I gotta do, get you some fucking blue berries for you to not be mad at me anymore." Negan muttered under his breath making you sigh.

"I'm not mad...I'm just hurt." Negan looked over at you with your response. A soft sight of guilt on his face, he knew he had messed up. He knew you had a right to feel how you felt and didnt argue back. You turned away with your hands on your lower back, today the pain felt worse than usual. You took a deep breath before suddenly feeling Negans hands on your back.

"Just relax, the asshole has a point. I dont need you upset." Truth be told Negan wanted to rip Daryl apart. He couldnt stand the way he would catch Daryl looking at you. He blamed himself for this as he knew if he had been around, no other man would've taken care of you the way he was supposed to.

The next day you woke up close to the afternoon, carrying a baby around was alot of work.

"What the hell is that?" You whispered hearing loud noise coming from the living room. Rubbing your eyes as you opened your bedroom door, you found Negan laying on the living room floor beneath what looked like a crib. Squinting your eyes in confusion, you walked towards where Negan was as he sat up and noticed you in the living room.

"You like it?" He grinned happily as he stood up.

"Where....? How?" Is all you could ask, never did you think your baby would be able to have a crib of their own.

"I went on a little run this morning, got a few things that I think you and the baby will need. Check this out." Negan spoke with excitment as he picked up a box showing you baby bottles and baby clothes he picked up.

"I got boy clothes and girl clothes cause shit, I dont fucking know what we're having. Some baby books here, I just took eveything from a day care."

Speechless you looked at Negan as he continued unpacking all things he found. A smile appearing on your face as you watched him show you toys he found as well.

"You did this all by yourself?"

"Do I look like the kinda man that needs any assistance?" He responded humoursly.

"I dont know what to say... I-" distracted by the bloody bandage on Negans arm you cut yourself off.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" You rushed beside him taking his arm in your hand.

"Little bruised up, nothing I couldnt handle. I'm alright, darling." Negan watched as you observed the bloody bandage with very concerned eyes, you yourself realized how worried you became. Feeling him looking down at you, you looked up, the two of you silently staring into each others eyes. It had been so long since you had looked at him this way, in that moment Negan wanted to lean in and kiss you. Truth be told, you wanted it as well. But then, maybe it was those damn baby hormones making you feel all soft inside, abruptly you turned away putting your attention to the baby clothes. Negan could tell you were fighting it, he could tell you were still hurt as you had every right to he.

"Well these baby clothes are very nice Negan. I love everything, thank you."

"Better than them blue berries, huh?" Negan teased not being able to help himself. Laughing it off you walked back to the bedroom.

"I'm going to go sit out on the porch!" You called out to him as you changed into a comfortable casual lavender dress.

"I'm going to-" Negan heard you stop with a gasp.

"Youre going to what?" He called out a bit concerned.

"Everly?" Negan ran to your bedroom to find you with your eyes closed and your hand on your belly before you let out a sigh.

"Sorry, the doctor told me whenever I feel a sharp kick to take a deep breath slowly."

Negan was out of breath from his heart jumping in fear.

"God dammit woman, you okay now?"

"Yes, Negan I have it under control." You walked past him to make your way to the porch. Confident in the breathing techniques your doctor showed you, you lay back on the chair outside watching the people walk by. A few minutes later Negan came out and bought you some fruit.

"Mmm..these fruits grew amazingly." Taking a bite out of one you savored the juices that came out of it.

"The fuck is he looking at?" Negan whispered causing you to look up at him. Angrily he stared out at Daryl who was on the other side facing the both of you.

"Negan..." you whispered grabbing onto his hand. Daryl took two steps foward making Negan step down from the porch.

"Negan please dont start.." you called out to him, struggling to push yourself up as the two men walked to each other stopping face to face.

Negan distracted by the jealous rage he had for Daryl did not pay attention to you speaking.

"What the hell do you want? You think I dont know what the fuck I'm doing?" Negan stared directly at Daryl, his brows deeply knitted together.

"You think you can do better than me?"

Daryl didnt say a word, simply looking directly at Negan with disgust. After a moment, Negan broke out into a sarcastic smirk.

"Go ahead hit me, show Everly the big and bad man you are." He whispered in his face making Daryl make a fist.

"Go ahead, do it." He unexpectedly shoved Daryl.

"Negan!" You screamed feeling too exhausted to get to where he was when Daryl suddenly swung at him. With a gasp, you watched as the two men began to fight each other. Daryl swinging once again at Negan who ducked and speared him onto the ground.

"Stop it!" You screamed suddenly feeling a sharp pain like none you had ever felt before. The pain so strong it made you lose your balance and lean towards the fence.

"Everly!" Maggie called to you running to your aid, Negan held Daryl down when he suddenly heard the commotion behind him and looked back. His eyes widening at the sight of you wincing in pain, he released Daryl and turned to run to your side. Maggie stood by your side holding you up as the pain continued to linger.

"What happened?!" Negan ran to your side, his energy still pumped with anger.

"Let's just get her inside." Maggie suggested as Negan took your other arm guiding you into the house.

"Talk to me, what are you feeling?" Negan spoke low to you his hands holding you tightly. Just as you went to speak another sharp pain ran through you practically making your knees bend as you screamed. Maggie and Negan didnt let you hit the ground and held you up, his eyes worriedly looking at Maggie.

"Wheres that fucking doctor?" Negan asked as they took you to the bedroom and gently lay you down. Taking a deep breath you felt your water break, you knew this was it. The baby was on the way and their was no stopping it.

"Where is she?" Your eyes widened at the sound of Daryls voice in the living room. Negan instantly turning with a growl ready to pace out of the room before you weakly called out to him.

"Negan- please.." he turned back to you with a clear look of frustration. Daryl showed up at the door way, instantly you saw the damage Negan did to him.

"Everly....ya need anything?" Daryl asked not caring that Negan was right beside you. He didnt care that he had just got into a fight, being so concerned for you.

"She needs you to get the fuck out of here."

Daryl took a step in and that's when Negan went towards him, blocking him from getting any closer.

"Negan." Your voice out of breath, neither of them saying a word. Negan took one step closer and looked him directly in the eye with a mean mug.

"They will never be yours." His voice was low but stern. Daryl knew he was right, it angered him that he grew feelings for you that he couldnt control. Feelings for you that were not reciprocated. Letting out a cry of pain Negan quickly turned back to you, rushing to your side.

"I need to push." You cried, squeezing your eyes shut in pain Negan looked up at Maggie.

"Get that fucking doctor already before I drag him in here by his fucking head."

Maggie ran out to find him as Negan held your hand. Daryl watched as Negan looked down at you in concern, he watched him comfort you brushing the tears away from your face. The man was someone Daryl couldnt stand, he didnt understand how someone so gentle like yourself ever got together with Negan. But one thing he could not deny was the love Negan had for you. The guilt he could tell he had as a man for ever having failed you. Distracted by the doctor running in past him to attend to you, Daryl silently backed out of the room. He could hear the doctor instructing you to push, the sound of you in agony leaving both him and Negan distraught with being helpless. Daryl quietly stood by the main door way of the house not wanting to leave until he was sure you both were ok. Negan held your head up as you pushed for dear life, the look on his face of pity watching you go through this pain.

"The head is out, just one more strong push. Take a deep breath." The doctor instructed as Negan looked down at you.

"You hear that, baby. One more strong push, give it all you got." Negan motivated you noticing how exhausted you were. Quietly you nodded your head and with one last hard push the baby was fully out. The cries of the baby instantly bringing a smile to Negans face. Daryl turned back towards your bedroom hearing the baby cry, he could hear the happiness in Negans reaction. Without saying a word he left the house.

"You got yourself a girl." The doctor expressed with a smile as you cried with happiness. Maggie gently wrapped up the baby and placed her on your chest as Negan leaned over you looking down at her. The two of you looked at each other for the first time in a way you had never before. You knew you loved Negan, you always had.

"Do you have a name for her?" Maggie suddenly asked making the two of you turn to her.

"Oh I hadn't thought of any honestly. I-"

"How about Mary?" Negans suggestion made your heart flutter.

"Mary....yes," you smiled up at him as he looked down at you. Maggie smiled at the both of you, the doctor and her excusing themselves from the room as they could sense unsaid words.

"You know I'd do anything to go back in time and change what I did, dont you?" His eyes glimmered as he looked down at his daughter. His finger softly caressing her cheek, making her smile.

"I would never leave you two. Ever." His eyes looked back up into yours. The sincerity in his eyes were clear, Negan was determined to make up for any time lost with you.

"I love you," you whispered. How could you deny your love for him? He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against yours. Soon the doctor returned back into the room and Negan took Mary in his arms. He sat in the corner of the room on the recliner, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Negan couldnt believe he was a father, you watched as he cradled your daughter with the softest touch. You didnt know what the future would hold with the way the world was, all you knew was that Negan was the man you wanted to face it all with.

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.

[affection-starved-starfish]

A reminder to myself to never let anyone cook for me ever again : my dad made raviolis with pesto sauce tonight. And he put the WHOLE FUCKING JAR OF PESTO in the raviolis. That’s 558 calories just for the sauce. So basically I just ate approximately 300 cals of pasta and 300 cals of pesto for diner 🤡 that’s an overestimation since I ate a much smaller portion than him but still omg.

As soon as I realised what he did I told him it was not some basic tomato sauce and that it had a lot more fat and salt. I looked up the calories and sat in front of my plate and I just felt like crying. I literally had to hold back tears. I finished my plate without enjoying a single bite because I was still trying not to cry because fuck that’s what a normal person would do. And then I felt the binge urges grow. I felt my mindset change and the little voice tell me that I was gross for eating this and that I was weak, I should’ve found a way out of eating it and that now that everything was ruined I might as well binge. I started thinking about the bread on the table, the butter in the fridge, the cheese, the desserts, the biscuits, the chocolate. All the things I wanted to eat, all the usual things I go for once the switch in my brain has flipped.

And I didn’t. YOU GUYS I DIDNT BINGE. I’m in my room right now writing this, the urge is gone and I feel like I can breath again. I don’t really know how I did it because for so many years I have been completely unable to break free. Add to this the fact that today the trigger was really strong, that I already had a piece of cake for my brother’s and my nephew’s birthday in the afternoon and that I have been restricting without binging for a while and you can imagine how much the self hatred and the all or nothing mentality was trying to fool me. This is the first time I managed to overcome this big of a compulsion to binge.

What I think helped is thinking about how bad I would feel physically afterwards (the headache, the stomach pain, bad sleep, acid reflux once I lay down, racing heart, being to hot, feeling foggy, being bloated the next day). I also thought that I would have to log it in my journal, that I would ruin a month long no binge streak, that it would do more damage than the pesto ever could, that I was doing this out of loneliness. I tried to distract myself and also planned on drinking a camomille tea and smoking a cigarette (which is something I enjoy but not after having overeaten, it makes me feel even worse). I distracted myself until my dad was done eating and I ran out of the kitchen.

I think what made it so triggering is also the context. Talking to a therapist has really helped me to become aware of the fact that a lot of my eating behaviours are emotional responses to my surroundings (I mean I already knew that. EDs are coping mechanisms for us. But I had never realised the subtlety of some of the triggers and how binging was my immediate subconscious reaction to it). For example here, the real problem was not the fact that I was forced to consume a ridiculous amount of pesto to pretend that I was normal in front of my dad. It was not the calories themselves that upset me. Because the piece of cake I had this afternoon did not make me bingey. It was a special occasion, I was enjoying a treat with my family. It was not triggering. And if someone else had made my dad’s mistake, I probably would’ve laughed it off, felt a little gross about it, and moved on. But no what really triggered me is the fact that my dad is a fucking child, oblivious to everything. It’s like the hundredth time he uses pesto and he still doesn’t know how to. This is just one small mistake but it’s the kind of things he does all the time. He tends to do things like that all the time and in more delicate or important situations. That’s the story of my life, my dad is a child and I have to be the adult and sometimes it gets too hard. I have lived like this for years and every time my brain responds with this fucked up habit of numbing my emotions with food. But now I am 21 and I have other options I need to get out of these coping mechanisms because they are trapping me. Yes they kept me alive when I couldn’t deal at 16 but now they are just making me too numb and distracted to focus on what’s important and on working on an escape plan.

Sorry for this rant but it kinda feels like a break through and it might be weird but I hope it helps someone.

tl;dr : I resisted the urge to binge because I realised that my dad being my dad triggered it and that the hours of self hatred that would follow were not worth it. That’s what I call growing up y’all.

[mollydollyjournals]

Everything feels so quiet again. I hate this about being nocturnal. At least during the day more people are around and online and I might have a little interaction. I wonder if I'll ever get my body clock to function on a 24hr schedule. Even as a child and teenager I've always had sleeping problems though. My body clock has always fought against regular timing. I definitely find it easiest when I'm actually excited to get up for something in particular, but that's not all there is to it. Besides that feels like a tall ask right now.

I've been crying a lot recently. I dont usually cry that much at all but the past month maybe, in increasing frequency, and the majority of the past few days, I'm always on the verge of or in tears. I'm on so much prozac I can sometimes feel it pushing me to just smile through it and do something, but I think my mind wins over it when it sees that my 5 minutes of positivity didnt bring luck like everyone says it will. I'm tempted to lower my dose just so I can at least be consistently sad. Part of me hopes I'd get bad enough to SH and do more noticeable stuff so someone will realise how I feel, but part of me knows that's not how itll work and I'll just do those things and feel even worse because I'm still by myself. Most of me feels guilty because that's the dramatic stereotype and nobody likes an attention seeker, but most of me also knows it's not socially acceptable to directly ask for help and support. The times I've said a thing about how bad I feel, very obviously in need of support, i havent got it. So if i did something more, i still wouldnt get it, but I'd just be bothering people even more by letting them see. But then maybe I'd actually get the balls to just end it properly and get it over with. But I also know I'm not someone who'd do something so final without exhausting all options first, which means I'd also say that more directly, and then the same issue applies.

I'm so sick of feeling like this. I feel like such a waste of space and it's the same problem where I need x to do y but I need y to get z and I need z to get x. Whenever I try to force myself to break that cycle alone, I burn out. I feel worse for the fact that I'm doing it alone. I feel like theres no point in achieving any of it if I'm still alone. I did so much growing up by myself and doing way too much and all it got me was a bit more time alive so I could watch everyone else actually live and realise how cut off i was. Last time i had a major breakdown i came out of it over time but i felt worse afterwards than before because of the fact that I'd had to deal with it alone. I felt resentful of all the people who saw me say outright on my social media 'I feel really terrible and I need support/dont think I can deal with this alone/etc' and either said nothing or just briefly acknowledged it then continued on. I didnt really get over it, I just stopped in the same way a baby learns to stop crying eventually if nobody comes. So i came out of the breakdown with the resentful and anxious feeling that i cant really rely on anyone and am truly alone.

Now I'm so much more sensitive. Of course I'm more sensitive. I'm scared this is more permanent mental shit that I wont be able to get rid of. I cant stay like this forever. I never used to be this bad. But I had some outlets at least, and some hope that it might be different at some point. Now it feels like I'm just so worn out and I need to rest and be protected but the longer I go without it the more I need and the more impossible it gets and then I feel like theres no point in trying because theres no way to fix the cycle. Not without some anime-level miracle.

All I can do is drink and hope I get distracted by something else for a while. Hope I get chatty and confident enough to send the first messages and make the first posts, hope the audience happens to be responsive. Hope I come up with some kind of idea that'll keep me busy and entertained.

There was a day a few months ago where I drank a lot over the course of a day, and I started getting really bad palpitations where my heart was stopping for a few seconds at a time and restarting painfully. It especially stopped whenever I lay down and kept still, ie when I was trying to sleep. I thought I was probably going to die in the night so I wrote out a little note on my phone just in case. But I was kind of happy about it. For whatever reason, a few friends had been online and we'd all talked a lot, and I'd had things to do, and we talked about what we were doing throughout that day, and we all screwed around and shitposted, and it was just nice. It didnt feel so much like quarantine as just long distance friends and I felt like if that was gonna be my last day then so be it.

Of course, I didnt die. It turned out my meds needed adjusting so I did that and the palpitations lessened. I kind of wish I did just die. I guess it's morose. But it would have taken the guesswork and worrying out of all this. I'm just so tired. Its not that I dont want to get better and enjoy life. I just dont know if I can. I dont know if theres too much damage been done. I was already a difficult case before the pandemic but it's really fucked me over a lot and brought up a lot of old and new insecurities and I dont know if I'm really able to make the transition to something normal and okay.

My heart palpitations are bad again right now. Today it's because of restricting food. Theres some kind of weak heart trait in my family so I've always had the occasional palpitation, but they get bad sometimes. It's not painful right now, just weak. If I breathe too deeply it loses rhythm. I keep beginning to hyperventilate from anxiety and my heart gets irregular and weird. Of course as I say that I get some pain.

I dont feel like I can eat more though. I did have a meal for dinner. Low calorie, but a meal. So my calories for today weren't super low. One thing that's always consistent about my thing with food etc is the control element. That when everything is bad, I need something to go my way, and this is all I can do. I dont know.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Probably not. But I really want to. I really need to. It only takes small things, small distractions to keep me going. If I can just survive long enough to keep at some things to change my situation, maybe I can get out of this. But if I crack, I drink and binge and do other things that make me feel worse. I dont know. I'm trying to drag myself along but I guess it doesn't look like I'm doing anything at all.

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

[quitetommy]

sickness and health- even before the big day

so like the ending is trash because i didnt know how to end it and i didnt wanna make it into a series but hope you enjoy!!!! this is doctor!tom!!! so im warning yall that this is all about injury and its loosly based off greys anatomy so if you cant watch that then you probably shouldnt read this but anyways- enjoy

ALSO DONT FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY WRITING CONTEST! ENDS JULY 31!!!!

Tom’s days were long, they went from early mornings until late into the night, when the sun was no longer apart of the equation. Usually, the young doctor’s life was hectic and he could be found running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but today was different. 

Today, Tom found himself sitting back and chilling (for the lack of a better word) with his mates. He knew the unspoken rule of never saying that it was quiet because then all hell would break loose, and to be completely candid, he was perfectly fine with how his day was going, especially for the fact that in 10 short minutes he would be walking outside to join his fiancee. The two hadn’t had a date night in awhile, due to Tom’s crazy schedule, and they were more than happy to take his free night and spend some time together. 

Breaking him from his thoughts, Tom’s buddy, Harrison spoke up, “Hey mate, what’s Y/N got planned for you tonight?”

Tom felt his thin lips stretch into a wide smile, showing off his teeth. “Not sure. She did say something about going to buy groceries for my favorite. We’ll probably just have a night in, which we both are-”

The curly headed boy was cut off when a shout was heard through the small ER. Both Tom’s and Haz’s heads snapped to the man running in. He was covered in blood and he looked beyond scared, he was carrying an almost unconscious girl. And from where Tom and his mate were standing, they couldn’t tell that it was his beloved Y/N. 

“Please, someone help!” His shouts of panic put the two boys into action, Tom sprinting to the man and woman and Harrison running to grab a gurney. Tom had snatched a pair of blue gloves off the counter as he ran over and was now snapping them onto his hands. “Okay sir, everything is going to be alright. Can you tell me what happened?” 

Harrison was now back with the gurney and Tom was taking the injured woman from the man’s arms, still looking at the stranger, he asked again, happy that he answered. 

“I-I don’t know. Some guy-! Think it was a robbery! She wouldn’t give ‘im anything, so he just started beatin’ her and then took off with her wallet.” Tom nodded along to his story, ready to ask the man if he was hurt himself but then his friend called his name, fearfully. 

Turning around, the handsome doctor lost his breath. He felt like he had been punched in the chest. Now that her hair was moved from her face and she wasn’t hunched over in a stranger’s arms, he was able to see who the young girl was- his girl. 

She was staring up at Harrison with wide eyes, she hadn’t seemed to recognize where she was or who she was looking around for someone, probably Tom, and was crying out. It looked like she was having trouble opening her mouth and Tom felt his heart break into two. And with a heavy heart, he yelled out, “We need some help over here, now!!”

Getting Y/N onto the backboard was easy, so was getting the neck brace on her. The hard part was keeping her still- that and keeping Tom at arms length. All of the doctors, even though they were friends, were continuously yelling at him to stay back. He refused, that was his girl, he wasn’t going to just not help her. She would move mountains if she could help him the same way that he was helping her. 

Everyone was talking at once and Tom felt like his brain and throat were being squeezed in a vice. He heard someone say, “Send blood for a crossmatch.” Haz, maybe?

He heard another person say, “Belly is soft!”

And another, “Bruising on the left chest.” Tom was breathing heavily as he watched his girl frantically look around the room. She was still crying, her mouth still clenched shut. “Pulse is down to 88, I’ve got a line going in now.” 

Tom heard the doctor curse loudly, “Her vein is collapsed. I can’t get it in.”

Another doctor answered, “Try a central line.” The doctors working on his pretty girl were talking nonstop and listing off her injuries and with every word, Tom felt his heart break a little more. Leaning over his girl, but staying out of the way of the working doctors, he said, “You’re gonna be just fine. You’re gonna be fine, alright?” 

More doctors rushed in, each working on their part of the body, and he blocked out all the things they were saying. Tom was grateful that he worked at such a good hospital, that his girl had the best team. The vice around his throat clamped shut when they decided to move Y/N. Her screams were loud and full of obvious pain as they worked on her- moving the poor girl to her side, putting in tubes, cleaning up her wounds, setting bones. With every single thing they did, Tom felt like his heart was going through a meat blender. He couldn’t stand it. 

One of the doctors- a neurosurgeon- asked, “Y/N, honey, I’m gonna need you to move your fingers for me. Can you do that?” When nothing happened, the room seemed to stop, and she asked again, “or- or your toes.” Nothing. It was like she hadn’t even heard the critical request. Tom felt his heart stop when the thought crossed his mind- she couldn’t hear. 

She couldn’t hear anything. 

The brain know-it-all stated this time- no question in her voice. She was demanding. “Come on. Just come on. Wiggle something.” Tom shook his head as he lifted up a heavy hand and snapped next to her ear, and then reached across and did the same to the other. And when nothing happened, when she didn’t respond and just kept on groaning in pain, he said, “Guys.”

When none of the doctors stopped to listen, he said, louder this time, “Guys, I don’t think she can hear us!”

“What?”

“What? Are you sure?” All of the doctors paused their work for a fraction of a second. The heavy hearted boy grabbed a light and started to look in her ears, calling out her name. He was hoping he was wrong, but unfortunately, he was right. There was obvious damage to her eardrums. “She can’t hear anything we’re saying.”

Then everything took a turn for the worst and Tom felt like he was going to throw up. Hsi heart was in his stomach and he was on the verge of a panic attack. The machines that were hooked up to his pretty lady started beeping in wild succession. A doctor concluded, “We are gonna have to intubate.”

Another well trusted man said, “her jaw is locked. There’s no way!”

The head of plastics said, “If I can reduce the swelling, you can get one in.” he paused and looked at Tom, then back to the injured friend, “I’m gonna have to pop her jaw.”

Tom was in hysterics. “No way!”

“I have to! It’s gonna hurt like hell, but I’m sorry, I have to.” And before he knew what was happening, he was being held back as he watched in pure agony. He watched as the doctor placed his thumbs in her mouth as best he could and as Tom fought against his friend that held him to the wall he shut his eyes, not wanting to see her in any more pain. Perhaps that was worse, though, because he could still hear the loud yell of pain that his pretty girl let out and Tom felt nothing but anger. Anger because his girl was hurt and anger because he couldn’t do anything to help her. He was just beyond angry. 

It was only hours later when Tom let himself be in the same room as her. When he finally stepped foot in her private suite he forgot how to breathe again. She looked horrible. She had bruising around her eye, it turning shades of purple and yellow. Her jaw was wired shut and she had a feeding tube going up her nose as well as a bandage wrapped around her whole head. Tom felt his heart drop to his stomach, he spoke, eyes down, “Hey, love.”

With no answer, he looked up to find Y/N looking at him with curious eyes. “Can you hear me?” She stared still, so he sighed and pointed to his ear and she shook her head. The lovesick boy felt his heart drop even further, if that was even possible. Realistically, he knew her hearing would come back and that the bruising would fade and that she would get better, but he was still feeling like he would always remember the feeling of seeing her so hurt. So broken. So defeat. 

He couldn’t bear it. He wouldn’t. So for now he pulled over a chair and held her hand, comforting her without words, comforting her with all his love. Because that was his job as her future husband.

Taglist; @spider-bitten @bi-writer-in-the-dark @marvelouspottering @quacksin @friendscallme-emily @smexylemony @tom-hollands-eyelash @tomblrholland @spidey-pal @lovelyh0lland @spideymood @positiveparker @positiveparker @procrastinatingparker @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl @Bodakcello @sleepybesson @spideyshcllands @its-the-unknownspidey @tomshufflepuff @aestheticgaybish

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So this woman today she stopped to talk to me.

She was older like... Idk probably 10 to 20 years older than me... Real nice ... Like a maternal type... Kinda hippy way of speaking.

And She knew why I was in that particular place. Not because my car stalled out but exactly why not the physical issues the csr had but my spiritually physical reason to be there.

And she was like praying, i mean she even put her hands together just like a prayer... And so.. You know --flat palms together. Some people fold their fingers over but she didn't.

As she was talking and praying my car doors unlocked.

And she told me to make sure that I keep them locked...

And i thought it was weird cause my car doors unlock when my car is off and i open the doors. I did open my door to check what my muffler was doing cause it was either heat vapor in the cold or smoke...

But my car was on So all the other doors should had remained locked...

So i started pushing the lock button on my dash.. And she decided to drive off... After I noticed my battery was completely dead.

I was not happy about that and i didn't see a reason that it would occur cause ill smoke in my car and all that with the radio on and stuff.... And i never did have a problem like that...

I tried to start the car again a few times and the battery after sitting a minute came back strong as Hell.

I had a feeling the woman had busted down my car...

So if she was on my side and God's side then yes she could had made the situation worse.

It was temporary and i had no more battery issues after it returned.

So I heard about these two friends..

Well it was a memory and we will call one Bill, he said that he wanted to pretend punch me in the face and see what his friend did in return.

And i was all Dude don't punch me in the face. But whatever it sounds legit...,he wanted to show me i wouldn't be abused but protected by his friend.

And so he was saying something about how my lip is small on the top and wanted to fatten it up.

Okay so even if you're prepared and a hand comes at your face... I bit him... I could not help it...

And so in the end it did end up hurting my lip..

And so his friend was so fucking mad and so he was all "you want me to hit your girl?!?!" And all this and I was all O.O no just stop!!

Cause his girl happened to be my really good,friend and i knew her before Bill... I think... May be I amnesia met him before. But she was My friend.

And I didn't want people fighting in my house like that.

So i got mad and all thus crazy.

So his friend ended up punching him and breaking Bill's nose.

So then fast forward and...

So they were doing this work thing and they had uniforms and so Bill was all "let me help y'all with your uniforms"

Well then these two guys that Bill had assisted then got fired. One because his uniform ended up all messed up... Like the collar was starched upwards instead of being the way it should be. And the other guy, I'm not too sure .. I don't think... I actually think that someone possibly did something to him after that just like... Sprayed him with water and it got him like wet on his knees like he had been doing something inappropriate.

I think his was legit...

But then Bill's friend was all Dude you fucked my shit up on purpose and you didnt take care of my partner and yoh did it cause you're greedy and all.

But this job was like a clergy job, religious...

And so it pairs with this chick praying for me to get my deliverance.

The thing is that Bill, he is in love with my friend and my friend is having difficulty to figure that out and also she wants to continue her career and advance it further...

So the thing is that Bill needs that job. Bill needs to wait years.

But the girl that Bill's friend and his partner don't need to wait.

So I guess like Bill was praying while he helped but probably not even so much as praying but just saying the facts.

And so God was like dude I know, I'm gonna send these bitches out early so they quit playing around and they go get their business done.

And that's what happened.

Just like the chick with my car and she was all sit here as long as you need to to get your deliverance.

And so it was shitty God fucked my car yet again but it was for a reason.

And so it was shitty those two lost their jobs but at the same time God was all stop with your pride and your fears And go do what you need to

Like for love... It would symbolize "y'all are leaving here early, from this job, because you don't have to wait anymore to find love and happiness.

It hurt them besides causing a rift between Bill and his friend like they were all in pain and sore about it.

And God was all "yeah bitches, i hurt you. Go be happy now"

But Bills friend and his partner couldn't hear God.

I know Bills friend personally and I know that he hss been hurt a lot in his life snd I know that pain keeps him stagnate.

And so I know God said "you're in pain and go be with your love of your life"

I know. And I know that it was said to the other guy also.

Ysll know i do,this with NHRA sometimes who lost and why -- the messages from God that y'all,miss.

And I think that i would believed that Bill did fuck with them .... Except today happened.

Ironically!!! I went to the village to go to the bank to go to a football game that Bill's lover was gonna be at.

And so today oddly kinda revolved around Bill.

Bill is mean and heathenistic.

But my friend and Bill left after bikls9nose got broke cause my friend took him,to the hospital.

And i told his friend "Call Bill,let me tslk to him"

And he did and I said "Bill, I love you and i want uou to know you're welcome to,come back yo my house any time. I know you didn't mean to hurt my face and its okay"

It didn't hurt like that much it was shocking cause people don't usually punch me in the face and i was terrified that my friend would get punched in,the face and my friend used to,get punched in the face by her ex.

Everything had been going great and in my eyes everything was destroyed in seconds.

And Bill so much like Jesse James all turned to,mush under my powers and was all okay and even,cried.

Although his friend didnt want him to come back. I knew that they needed to make up.

His friend is like caveman barbaric... Like with civilization... All these rules you dont do to people and dont play and all that.

And I knew Bill had been acting from his heart. I mean... There's better ways to be... But Bill did a huge display that I was indeed truly safe with his friend.

And the way Bill did it... Was dramatic and at 7 G forces...

So Bill he's pretty cool.

And IF Bill purposely fucked with them... Then... It wss for a good reason.

But since there was 2 of them and Bill coukd had possibly only harmed one although neglected to protect the other -- I believe that it was just God and not Bill at all that purposely affected those two.

I mean i KNOW that lady didn't wanna drain my battery and actually prevent me,from being able to lock my car doors. It just happened.

We are all different people and not everyone is going to be the perfect friend or the perfect even enemy.

But I think that Bill uses his head and his heart quite well.

So as usual, I hope all those people involved in that job get and understand this message and I more so hope even more thsn that, even if they dont read it -- I actually prefer they didn't... But somehow just got the message like now Because it would be fastest and like that day at work they quit what they were doing

But this time -- I hope they go get the loves if their lives. Like 5 seconds ago. Why aren't they in their cars already?

Come on! Go already!

[vellihor]

選擇 ° chpt 2.

genre 》 skz mafia!au

word count 》 1857

warning 》 angst, violence, gore, etc.

__________________________________________________________

YUBIN

i knocked a few times on changbin's door. i roll my eyes as i hear loud rap music being blasted on the other side of the door. i slide the door open anyways. i see changbin punching furiously at the punching bag.

i walk over to the speaker to stop the blaring music, only to have my brother spin around to glare at me. seeing me, he hesitates before taking off his boxing gloves and hanging them up on the rack. i toss a towel at him, grossed out at the sweat dripping down his body. as he caught the towel in midair and cocked an eyebrow at me.

" we havent had sibling heart to heart talk in a long while changbin."

he motioned for me to sit down on his bed. which i graciously took up his offer on. i hugged his plushie, gyu, the only clean thing around the room. i watch as he pulls out a fresh shirt from his closet. he drags a chair from his desk to sit infront of me. then i decide to start the ball rolling.

" so whats your deal with minjung? hm? "  

i see him facepalm himself and groan into his palm. because changbin was older than me by two years, he always had trouble opening up to me. he felt as if he was not doing a good job as an older brother. thats why i started this heart to heart talk between the two of us. i waited as he lifted his head to look at me, thinking about how to put it in words.

" that woman simply ticks me off. shes single-handedly the most stubborn person i have met- "

" says you. "

i pressed my lips in a thin line as changbin gave me an unamused expression.

" i dont know we just dont work well together. i work well with anyone and everyone except her. she hates my guts, i hate her guts. we are even. then chan has to force us to work together. to be honest, i thought making the situation worse would make chan rethink about this shitty paring. guess i was wrong. "

" well from my point of view, i think the both of you should try to tolerate each other. i mean you have always been good at tolerating people. why not just tolerate each other. you guys cant jump at the first chance to kill each other. who knows maybe you guys will end up liking each other. "

he grabs a nearby soft toy and chucks it at me. probably from my last sentence. but i see him slowly consider my words.

" then whats with you and hyunjin trying to send each other to your respective graves huh? "

" thats a different situation! "

" mhmm tell me. how so? "

" ugh youre impossible. "

" lets make a deal then. if you try to get along with hyunjin, i promise to try to get along with minjung. "

i eyed him suspiciously and stuck out my pinky. he locked his pinky with mine. he shot me his goofy smile. i scoff at him as i lay down on his bed. he lies down next to me and we stay in a comfortable silence, staring at the ceiling. until i break the silence.

" do you ever miss mum and dad? "

he pauses before replying.

" all the time. i just wish they didnt leave so soon. maybe then we wouldnt have ended up like this. sure we have been through tougher things but i wonder how different things will be if they were still here. "

" remember that time we stole from the convenience store? we nearly ended up in jail. i still cant believe we survived by ourselves for so many years. "

he chuckles softly as he recalls the memories. ever since our parents died in a fire, changbin and i have always been relying on each other. i vaguely remember changbin sitting on the pavement and bawling his eyes out. his head was buried in his two hands as he sat there trying to comprehend the life-changing situation he had experienced. i remember twelve year old me being lost and clueless, wandering about in the crowd that had formed in front of the building. changbin shot up as soon as he heard my voice and engulfed me in a hug. the both of us had tried so hard to forget about that incident. but one of us would get a nightmare about it every now and then.

it has been five years since chan took us in and decided that we would have family members to look out for us. now we feel like SK is our family.

i watch as changbin stands up from the bed and looks at me in disdain before snatching gyu out of my hands. he strokes gyu before placing it down on the bed. changbin offers his hand to help me stand up. but i know better than to fall for that trick again. i push off the bed on my own. changbin looks offended that i didnt take his hand. i punched his left arm before walking towards the door. he gives me a look of pure pain and disbelief, while holding his left arm.

" did you just-? did you not hold back anything in that punch?"

" come on. dinner is about to be done. i bet you a hundred bucks that grandpa woojin is going to complain about how nobody helped him to prepare dinner. "

i chuckle as i slide the door open. i walked to living room, spotting hyunjin playing pool. changbin nudged me towards him. i scowled at my brother, only to have him flip me off. he shooed me off, mouthing "get along with him".

i walked to the pool table and picked up a cue stick. hyunjin pretended to not see me. i was going to give up being nice. but changbin was watching from the sofa. so i resorted to poking hyunjin in his ribs with the cue stick to get his attention. hyunjin saw it coming and dodged it before i even hit his ribcage. he sneered at me. i scoffed and threw my hands up.

changbin was still watching from the sofa. i took a deep breath before speaking.

" best out of three. loser treats the winner to a round of drinks. "

i sigh in relief as i see hyunjin consider my offer, nod and reset the pool table. i look towards changbin. he was giving me two thumbs up. i grin widely at him as i see him being awkward with minjung, who had just came out of the shower. he was trying so hard to start a conversation without being weird.

i turn my attention to hyunjin.

" ladies first. "

" wow hyunjin is being a gentleman for the first time. "

" hey take it or leave it. "

i say nothing as i rest my cue stick on my fingers.

__________________________________________________________

HYUNJIN

i eye the woman infront of me suspiciously. her behaviour seemed too abnormal today. she was actually being nice to me. just to clarify, that has never happened. ever.

yubin clears her throat and gestures to the pool table.

"um.... so i won and drinks after dinner are on you,"

i shrug and continue staring at her unknowingly, watching her put the cuestick down and run to the kitchen to help woojin with dinner.

i snap out of it when woojin shouted for everyone to eat dinner. i walked over to the dining table with jisung. dinner was the usual. everybody was talking loudly and enjoying dinner.

i noticed that changbin and minjung were talking to each other. i scrunched my nose in confusion. i nudged seungmin.

"whats with changbin and minjung?"

"what?"

"nobody realises that theyre being friendly to each other ????"

"yeah no dumbass. they are on a truce. they just said it just now. pay attention to the table conversation will you?"

"ouch, no need to snap at me like that. that hurt my feelings."

my mind wandered to yubin being not-so-hostile to me. she DID try to puncture my ribs with the cuestick.

__________________________________________________________

after dinner, i brought two bottles of beer up to the roof. i looked around looking for yubin but i couldnt see her anywhere.

"did she just bail on me?" i thought.

just then, i spotted a dark ball snuggled into one of the many oversized beanbags that jisung bought. i walked over to see her looking up at the sky. i plopped myself on the beanbag next to hers.

"so whats up there that got you staring for so long?"

she doesnt even look at me. no acknowledgement of my presence whatsoever. i scoff at her.

"wow so youre not even going to reply me? even after i got you beer? come on you have got to be kidding me."

after a few minutes of silence, i hear soft snoring coming from my right. "no way. no fucking way. is she sleeping?" unsure of what i had just heard, i snapped my head to look at her. leaning in closer to check if she was indeed asleep. upon a closer look, i realise i have been sitting next to a sleeping yubin.

i sigh as i sink back into my beanbag while taking a swig out of the bottle in my hand. after a few minutes, she stretches and somehow manages to hit my eye in a state of half conciousness. my right hand presses against the injured part. she recoils in shock and grabs onto my arm. her face was full of worry and she was starting the panic.

"ohmygod ohmygod i am so sorry. fuck fuck fuck. you need ice. wait here im going to go get ice for you. do not move."

i chuckle at her and removed my right hand.

"im not injured you dumbass. that was payback for making me wait for you to wake up."

she freezes with an unreadable expression. i stiffen at her reaction. she then slowly sinks back down in her beanbag with an almost inaudible "oh".

the atmosphere becomes awkward again. yubin clears her throat and reaches for her bottle of beer.

"um yubin?"

"what?"

"thats my bottle."

.

.

.

"yea i know. my bottle isnt open yet."

*awkward silence yet again*

*caw caw caw*

"so,, um hyunjin, do you have any siblings?"

*caw caw caw*

"uh....... sure yea of course i do. i have a twin sister and an older brother. my twin sister went missing when we were five and my older brother ran away from home when i was seven."

i looked over at yubin to see her mumbling to herself.

"hey dont worry its fine. really."

she looks at me with a forced smile.

"and your parents- ohmygod i just asked a stupid question didnt i? ah fuck sorry. im bad at this."

i let out a loud laugh as she facepalms herself. she gives me a questioning look.

"hey hey relax. no need to panic so much. just breathe okay? and yes to answer your question, i do have parents. both are healthy and fully alive."

"what about you, yubin? whats your story?"

"where do i even start?"

[this-place-isnt-home]

Today was bad

But not so bad for a hospital day. Usually in more pain when I'm there.

So I havent been feeling right and today I thought on my lunch break id go ask my pharmacist if any of my medications could be messing with eachother (we don't have a walk in clinic and it takes 2 weeks to see my doctor) Pharmacist made me go directly to Emerge when my blood pressure and heart rate was consistantly scary high. So now I'm off work per doctors orders til Monday. I basically feel confused and exhausted but my pulse is like running a marathon. Fighting migraine now because hospitals are such a huge trigger.

Man, I'm tired of it being one thing on to another. Even when I know it could be worse. I just want to be normal. Not even dream big and go to school normal. But just make it through a week without pain, normal. Make it through a month without seeing a doctor's face, normal. I've accepted I won't be able to do anything with my life but I want to at least be able to work for money to take care of myself.

Anyways, my coworker didn't come in to work today and her sick days are always self inflicted hangovers. I know everyone has their own journeys but she doesn't know how lucky she is to be in control of her own physical sickness. I tried my hardest to stay at work because she wasn't there to cover and I would've kept faking all day if the pharmacist didnt make me go to the hospital... because I so badly just want to be normal. So badly that I've been ignoring huge warning signs for weeks that something isn't right. So badly that I don't even tell people anymore how I feel.

More tests, more follow ups.

I wish my body knew I loved it and appreciated how friggen well I treat it lol. You always hear people getting so healthy and feeling great when they get sober or quit wheat, go veg, do yoga. I've been doing these things for almost 4 years and I feel ripped off lol.

Anyways, time to zen to avoid migraine. Although easier said than done with this pulse rate lol. Sorry for the rant but it's healthy for me to do this somewhere, sometimes.

[cheap-spirits]

Hi todays been shit. This is what went wrong.

First its just me and my brother looking after the two dogs all week but hes staying at my dads tonight tomorrow and Wednesday cause its just easier for work. This means i have to give up my precious sleep to walk the dogs at fucking 6:30am. In autumn. In scotland. ITS COLD AS FUCK AND WET AND MUDDY. EW.

So i took them out this morning and it was fine compared to the rest of today.

We (the dogs and i) get back home and i chill out for a bit before i get ready (highlight of the day tbh)

So i get ready for school and start the 5-10 minute walk. I was thinking how lucky i am to live close to school and how i wont have to walk across muddy grass and slip (cause i have no balance and i slip every year on mud without fail...several times a year) then suddenly, i step on what appeared to be a seemingly innocent water cover thing, like a plastic square cover on the pavement. I go to walk on as i had been for the past couple minutes my foot slides and i go down. Face first. I genuinely thought i broke a rib cause i couldnt breathe for what felt like 5 minutes.

As i sit there trying to catch my breath, i try to assess the situation. Is my knee sore? Yeah but not too bad considering. Is my back sore? Nah not really. Is my chest sore? A little but i can walk it off.

I thought i was fine

I got up, brushed the dirt off my clothes and carry on. Make it to school with plenty time to have a chat before reg started.

Then I remember, i have higher modern studies for two hours. And were starting a new topic.

As i struggle through the lesson, barely paying attention to my insane teacher, its finally break. Fairly uneventful.

Break ends and i now have study for two hours. Me and my friends make our way to the study room and take our seats. It starts off like any other with someone signing us all in and someone else grabbing us all laptops. The first hour passes, a couple laughs, a little concentration, a lot of moaning that were tired and sick off school. Then i feel it. A tight pain in my right knee.

I dont realise how bad it really is until we stand up 10 minutes early for lunch to head to asda to get there before the rest of the school. I can barely fucking walk. I hobble up to asda and say to myself “it cant get much worse than it already is!”

I need to learn from my mistakes tbh

So ive been working on a mock court thing for the past few weeks. Its been a total shambles from start to finish. Only me and my one friend has done any of the work in our group and we were supposed to be in actual court on thurday. 3 days time. My friend and i cant make it. The group is screwed. So back to today, we had a meeting at lunch to see what the everloving fuck we can do to salvage our reputation. Two people dont show up. The two people who were moaning to me and my friend last week saying we were completely underprepared. Safe to say i was pissed off. My friend was pissed off. My modern teacher was pissed off. (Shes running it btw) so our teacher gets really pissy and shit, i actually cant remember what she was saying i just know i was getting pissed off.

Lunch ends and i have a decision to make. Go to PE for two hours and suffer through the pain in my knee or just go home.

I obviously go home, but not until after i go down the stairs from the main teaching block to the gym hall and realise i cant fucking walk.

So i get home and chill with my dogs, naturally. I got home early so i didnt need to take them for a walk for a few more hours which gave me time to rest.

It starts to absolutely chuck it down outside, just as i was about to take the dogs out, so i wait about 10 minutes until it stops. I realise that this is gonna be one of the only times i can go without it raining today.

We get outside and usually, the dogs like to take their time before they do their business. Today they seemed to realise something was coming. We make it to the park where theres a short circuit they normally walk around twice a day. Today they poo and turn back home. Instantly.

Who am i to judge my dogs? I don’t particularly want to walk either, so just as i decide were just gonna head home, it starts.

It was such heavy rain that within seconds i was soaked through my hoddie and my dogs were dripping wet.

I try and get home as fast as i can but its too late. Were so wet. We get in and get dried before my brother comes home from work an hour later.

Him being the gentleman he is, he takes the dogs out on an actual walk considering i cant fucking move now.

A few hours go by, uneventful, all i do is watch youtube, a blissful end to a shitty day? Almost.

The dogs needed to be taken out once more before bed, things were going too well. I get their leads on fine, make it down the stairs without falling.

We get outside and one collar breaks.

OF FUCKING COURSE IT BREAKS WHY WOULDNT IT BREAK WHEN IM HOME ALONE WITH NO MONEY TO BUY A NEW ONE AT HALF TEN AT NIGHT

Luckily we had a spare collar but it was fucking massive, so to get it to fit her theres a massive loop that dangles so she’s currently naked cause im scared she’ll strangle herself or my other dog during the night and with my luck today that probably would’ve happened

Well, that was my disastrous day, hope you had a better day and im sorry this was so long xx

TL:DR ive just had a really shitty day its actually funny how bad its been

[svtbiasrekt]

NewParent!Vernon

oh mah gawd this is such a late request i am so sorry anon i hope you love it tho :’) Under keep reading since its long af

New parent!Vernon

Oh boy our boi Vernon’s gonna become a dad

You and your husband Vernon were pretty shook when you both found out you were expecting

But it wasn’t a bad shook oh no of course not

It was a super happy shook

Like vernon’s eyes widened but he had the biggest grin plastered on his handsome face

“OMG Y/N I’M GONNA BE A DAD!!!”

“Yes honey you will be a dad” you said as you playfully rolled your eyes lol

Vernon was super enthusiastic so as soon as he finished calling his family and seventeen to deliver the news he wanted to start on the nursery

You and Vernon agreed on painting the nursery a pastel baby yellow color since it was gender neutral since you didn’t know the baby’s gender yet plus it was a nice color

Soon you found out you’d be having a daughter!

And boy was hansol enthusiastic

“I’M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE GIRL!!”

You could tell he might end up spoiling her

Sigh

But aren’t dads supposed to spoil their little girls?

You’re due date was approaching very quickly

You were basically 8 ½ months long when Vernon FINALLY decided to start constructing the crib

And boy was he struggling

You were in the other room when you heard a hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUUI5EvylY (skip to 3:40)

You chuckled and walked (waddled) to the nursery

And there you saw a collapsed crip with a defeated Hansol next to it

“Do you need help lol?” you asked.

“YES but no i don’t want you to wear yourself out” said Vernon

Aww he’s so sweet

“Don’t worry Y/n i’ll finish this soon”

15 minutes later you heard the same hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise

Oh god Vernon

Eventually he ended up calling Seungkwan to help

Seungkwan was probably the most excited out of seventeen for your new bundle of joy

As soon as Vernon told him the news he literally SCREAMED

Like the other members almost went deaf

Seungkwan even teared up a little since he was sooo happy

So anyway Boo was now at your house and was super happy cause the one and only uncle boo will have credit for helping make the crib

He asked questions like if you and vernon were ready or not and stuff

“Hell no!” laughed Vernon

This boi was pretty nervous as your due date approached

But you assured him he’ll be a good father

He still doubted himself tho :\

After like two hours of more hushed “oh shits” and sassy outbursts at the “problematic crib” the crib was finally built

“Y/N THE CRIB IS DONE!” yelled Vernon

“Yeah after like two million years ughh” whined Seungkwan

You only chuckled tho at the two bffs

Once Seungkwan left hansol became all serious

You were like what’s up?

“I couldn’t even build a crib how will I be a good father!!” asked Vernon sadly

..what

Damn he was nervous

“Hansol just because you can’t build a crib doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad father! you‘ll be the most caring and loving dad i know it.”

“You really think so?” he asked

“Of course”

“Thanksss” he said as he rested his head on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you

Aww

He was being a lil softie

Anyway your due date came along

Both of you were super nervous but excited too

And all that nervousness and excitement for nothing

You never went into labor!

“SHES LATE” you whined overdramatically

“MY GOD BABY GIRL YOU HAD US WAITING FOR NOTHIN” whined Vernon

“We might as well go to bed” you told your hubby

“Yeah i guess so” he said as he climbed into bed

As soon as you were about to get into bed you felt your water break

ARE YOU SERIOUS

RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BED (SALAD)

“Oh mah gawd MY WATER BROKE!” you screamed

“AHHH” screamed Vernon

“Uhhh HOSPITAL?? NOW??” you yelled. You didnt mean to sound harsh tho but you were quite in labor and in need of a hospital so

Vernon scrambled to help you into the car and made sure to drive carefully to the hospital

As you were driving you remembered the hospital bad

“Hansol… you packed the hospital bag right?”

“I THINK”

Ok this boi seemed more nervous than you the hospital bag can wait

Anyways

You make it to the hospital and the pain has gotten wayyyy worse

But despite all your screaming

And death grip on vernon

He still stayed with you for 9 fucking hours of labor

As soon as you heard your baby girl cry you saw Vernon’s face relax

And you of course cried at the sound of your baby

Vernon’s eyes were filled with wonder though as he saw and heard her daughter take her first breathes

He then looked over at you overwhelmed

All he could do was mouth ‘thank you’

And then tears flooded out from his eyes as he broke out into a smile as the doctor came forward to hand you your daughter

My god was she perfect

She had your hair color and eyes

She had hansol’s nose, smile, and eyebrows

She was so cute omg

You stared at her for a while and remembered vernon probably wanted to meet his daughter too

So you carefully handed her over to him

The same guy who thought he’d be a bad father remembered to carefully hold up her head and cradled her ever so gently

You’d say he’s got this fatherhood thing all right so far.

And omg vernon was so cute with her

Like he started a whole fucking conversation with her omg

“Hi baby girl! I’m your daddy and that’s your mommy! We’re at this place called the hospital…” and so on

All while more tears streamed down his face

And when she gripped his finger with her tiny hand

It was so precious but kind of hilarious

He made this sob-like kind of noise? It was hard to describe tbh but you giggled

You two were still not quite sure what to name her

Vernon suggested that her middle name could be his mother’s name (cause you know how much he loves his mom it’s so precious)

Btw his mom’s name is Melody

And you agreed with that idea she was a nice lady and obviously Vernon loves her a lot and Melody is a nice name

“Since i picked out her middle name you can choose her first name” said Vernon with a sincere smile as he pat your little baby’s head

That was so sweet omg

You decided to name your daughter D/n because (insert reasoning)

Soon Vernon’s family arrived and were thrilled to meet D/n

His mom really liked her middle name too haha

Your family came as well

Then of course Seventeen came to visit as well!

Seungkwan in particular, however, came in BAWLING

“SHE’S SO PRECIOUS!” he whisper yelled

All of seventeen wished you both congratulations

They were so sweet and already loved D/n

The8, being the artsy photographer he is, offered to take a family photo for you two

And of course you two said yes

And my god that was such a sweet photo

The members who were already parents were like “welcome to the club bro” to vernon

He was officially part of the parent line!

Anyway you two finally got to take D/n home

You “Checked In” to the home together as a family for the first time

“I check innnnn, Chwe house” sang Vernon oh god

You just rolled your eyes playfully at him he was so goofy

It was late like past dinner time and you and Vernon already ate that hospital food which you were tired of

D/n on the other hand was wide awake

You were surprised tho you thought she would be asleep by then but nope

So you and hansol decided to give D/n a tour of the house

Vernon pretended to be the tour guide while you held D/n and followed him

“And over here is the toilet, which you’ll have to learn to use someday” said Vernon

“And finally this is your place D/n” he said motioning toward the yellow nursery

D/n was obviously too young to process all of this so she just kind of stared and squirmed

You noticed Vernon kept staring at his daughter in adoration

“Hansol?”

“Yeah” he didn’t take his eyes off her

“Wanna hold her?” you asked extending your arms toward him

“YES i mean yeah sure!”

He held her carefully and just couldn’t stop smiling omg

D/n let out a tiny yawn so you instructed Vernon to carefully place her in the crib he spent so much time working on

“But i don’t ever wanna let go of her!” whispered Hansol

I mean who could blame him

D/n was such a cute baby

But cute babies need sleep

After explaining that to him he reluctantly placed her in the crib and she fell fast asleep

You both proud parents awwed at your beautiful daughter

“C’mon Hansol lets go to bed”

You two went to sleep

Compared to other babies D/n wasn’t that bad

She only cried like twice during the night

And that was usually for feedings or diaper changes

And you and Hansol bolted out of bed to see what was wrong

You two decided that you would be in charge of feedings and Vernon would be on diaper duty

Within the first week D/n went through so many diapers and bottles omg

Also within that first week you and Hansol were so tired

It was hard raising a newborn and being first time parents

But you two worked really well with one another

When hansol had to go back to work he made sure to ask the ceo if he could leave a little earlier to check up on you and D/n

Ceo said yes thankfully!!

So when hansol would come home early you’d get an opportunity to shower and catch up on sleep while he watched D/n

“Y/n! I’m back!” he’d yell enthusiastically

You were on the couch feeding D/n who ate a lot

“Hi Hansol!” you smiled tiredly

“Lemme take over from here” he said as you passed D/n and her bottle to him

“Thank you so much honey” you smiled and kissed his cheek

“No problem!” he grinned and continued to feed D/n

You went to go shower quickly since its hard to shower when you have a newborn

Meanwhile Vernon decided to talk to his daughter

“So D/n, guess what happened at work today?”

D/n just stared at him with curious eyes

“Uncle Boo thought he could rap my super quick verse in our newest song, but he failed SO BADLY hahahaha”

He just kind of went on talking to her like she was any other person

Even tho she couldn’t understand what he was saying since she was just a week old

“Also D/n, if you have a favorite parent by now, i hope it’s your mom, because she does sooo much here for us”

By this time you had heard what he just said since you just finished showering

“She would be going to work too like me, but she’s staying home to take care of you cause she loves you so much! So don’t give her too much trouble, ok?”

You felt your heart melt omg

Because

AWW HANSOL WAS SO SWEET

And hormones too oh god

You cried a lil but you won’t admit it

So you went to bed in peace and made sure to thank your wonderful husband for his kind words

Man Hansol is such a sweet father and husband you were so thankful