#i didn't want to feel stressed or anything but now i am

[hansmic]

“𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗”

bangchan x gn! reader

summary: you and bangchan have been together for several years, and you plan a surprise anniversary celebration. However, chan has an unexpected event (like a work crisis) and it forces you to reconsider what "romantic" means. How does the unexpected twist challenge your connection? Do you find a way to reconnect in a more meaningful way, or does it test your bond with chan?

genre: fluff, romance, angst

warnings: none

word count: 757

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Chan was exhausted and frustrated as he got home late from work. He had been looking forward to spending the evening with you, especially since it was your anniversary. He saw you waiting for him with a warm smile, and felt a mixture of guilt and disappointment. "Hey," he said, forcing a weary smile.

"I'm sorry I'm late," chan added, sitting down heavily on the couch next to you. "There was an emergency at work, and it took forever to sort out."

You tried to stay calm and understanding, but you couldn't hide the disappointment in your eyes. "It's our anniversary, and you're late again," you said, your voice laced with a hint of anger.

Chan slumped down more, feeling the weight of your frustration. He knew he had messed up. "I know, I know," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to be late, but this was unavoidable."

You looked at him, your frustration turning to sadness. "Unavoidable?" you asked, your voice cracking slightly. "It always seems unavoidable when it comes to work. It's like your job is more important to you than I am."

Chan's expression softened as he heard the hurt in your voice. "That's not true," he protested, reaching out to take your hand. "You know you're important to me. Work is just... stressful right now, that's all."

You pulled your hand away, feeling a mix of anger and sadness. "But it's always stressful at work," you retorted. "It's our anniversary, and I had planned something special for us. But you didn't even remember, did you?"

Chan looked down at his hands sheepishly. "I...I did remember," he mumbled. "I just...got caught up in work. I'm sorry." He looked up at you with pleading eyes, hoping you would understand.

You sighed, feeling your resolve weakening. Part of you wanted to stay mad, but another part of you just wanted to forgive him. "You always say you're sorry," you said, your voice softer now. "But it never seems to change. Work always comes first."

Chan's expression turned pained. "I don't know what you want me to say," he said, his voice filled with frustration. "I can't just quit being an idol , I have responsibilities. But I do care about you, more than anything. I'm trying to balance everything, but it's not easy."

"I know it's not easy," you said, your voice cracking again. "But it feels like I'm always coming second. And on our anniversary, of all nights..."

Chan reached out to take your hand again, this time you let him. "I know I messed up," he said, his eyes full of remorse. "I should have been here for you, and for us. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Just...don't give up on me, okay? I can't lose you."

Your resolve crumbled at his words. You knew he was trying, in his own way. And deep down, you didn't want to lose him either. "Okay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I won't give up on you. But please...please try harder."

Chan felt a wave of relief wash over him. He squeezed your hand, grateful for your understanding. "I will," he said, looking into your eyes intently.

You nodded, your anger fading. You knew it wouldn't be easy, and there would be more bumps in the road. But for now, you were willing to give him another chance. You scooted closer to him on the couch, and leaned against his shoulder.

Chan put his arm around you, pulling you closer. "I love you," he said softly. "No matter how crazy things get, please remember that.”

You rested your head on his shoulder, feeling a sense of comfort in his embrace. "I love you too," you said quietly. Despite your earlier anger, being close to him made you realize how much you needed him.

Chan kissed the top of your head, feeling grateful for your forgiveness. "I'll make it up to you," he repeated, more determined than ever. "I know I've let you down before, but I'm going to try harder from now on. For you, for us."

You looked up at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. "I believe you," you said, your voice regaining some of its warmth. "Just...don't forget about our anniversary next year, okay?"

Chan chuckled softly, knowing he would need to set a dozen reminders on his phone to make sure that never happened again. "I won't," he promised. "And I'll make sure to make it the best one yet."

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masterlist is here!

[thatoneautisticshark]

Okays for one I'm just now following and discovering your stuff and I am eating it UPPP I'm vibing with it yes!

Secondly! I loved this blurb of yours in particular! Obv feel free to ignore if you aren't up for requests or anything but I'm so down for this?? Idk how you feel about poly!141 though I think I've seen it mentioned a bit so far, but I would honestly just love to hear more of your ideas regarding that with poly 141.

Maybe Simon amd Price are the beginning of it, Price taking care of Simon and things going from there, then eventually Soap and Gaz get involved because of course they do! Maybe they fond out about Price and Simon's after mission care, maybe Ghost sees that Gaz is beyond stressed and tells him he should go to Price for 'help'! Maybe there could be a litttttle hint of angst and Soap having self esteem issues and he gets a little withdrawn because he can tell something is going on with the others that he isn't a part of, but he doesn't know what, Price would fix that real quick and make sure Soap feels loved and included. They all end up taking care of and looking after eachother, they're used to looking after one another but now there's more to it! They all end up involved with eachother and they get a happy ending because I (and the entire community) say so.

Also random bit of talk, but I just love the idea of 141 retiring together from the military, living together, even working together still! Coffee/tea shop for shits and giggles of course, but I think maybe something like a mechanics shop or even some construction or renovation stuff would suit them more! They're used to keeping busy and using their hands, fixing problems, they do well with the labor involved it's what they're used to.

Anyways!!!! Just thought I'd word vomit all of this out there lmfao, sorry for the novel written 🤣😭 I haven't touched Tumblr in a while which is crazy bc the cod men have not left my brain since I was last here. Anyways!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day thank you for reading this far!!!

hehehe! Thank you so much! I'm glad people are enjoying. None of my baby soap yet, but I wanted to post this before I go to

bed :3

Gaz was the first to know what was happening between his lieutenant and captain, having had the … misfortune, although he wouldn't really call it that, of walking in on Ghost with price's dick in his mouth.

He hadn't even realised it was Ghost at first, with no mask on, and Jesus he was pretty.

And Price all flushed, and god the size of his dick. Gaz was happy for them obviously. But he couldn't say he wasn't a bit jealous.

Not of one or the other in particular, he'd love to be in either of their positions. But it wasn't a clawing nasty jealousy.He didn't get sour seeing them together.

It was just more of a, ‘Well buggar’ I can't get with either now. But all in all, Gaz didn't give a shit, he was happy they were happy.

But right now, he didn't want to think about it, his brain would twist it. He was sitting out by one of the fields in the rain. Just needing the fresh air, the getaway, something.

All the back to back missions, and then family drama did not have him in the best headspace, he was tired and exhausted and just wanted to shut his fucking brain down.

He was so in his head, he didn't even notice Ghost coming up beside him, until a large warm hand was on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

“Alright Kyle?”the voice came soft.

Gaz froze, unsure how to answer, he couldn't exactly be honest, but he didn't want to lie.

He hated lying to those he cared about.“Uhm…. Debatable?”

The hand in his shoulder moved to his hair. “Hm, how about we don't debate your mental state, and instead get you inside and dry.” It was phrased as a suggestion, but Gaz knew it was an order.

He nodded mutely, allowing Ghost to pull him up to his feet. A hand on the small of his back, leading him. Well that was certainly the intention. For Gaz currently it was much more of a grounding force. Had that touch not been there, he genuinely thought he might have burst into tears.

He barely realised where they were going until they were within the Superior officers building, but… they weren't going to Ghosts room?Gaz frankly didn't have the energy to question it. He trusted Ghost, whatever he was doing, Gaz would follow.

He blinked as Ghost led him into Price's room. He hadn't been in here much.but it was cosy, warm toned, many pillows around, blackout curtains, a few candles. All together something that already made Gaz want to relax.

Even as he shivered from the chill settling in. He had no clue why he was being brought here, but didn't argue. Price looked up from his bed, his eyes narrowing, at the state of Gaz.

He was pretty sure he looked shit. Eyes were probably red from crying, whole body drenched and shivering, being led by Ghost.He probably looked pathetic as fuck.

And now his captain was seeing this.

Before his thoughts could spiral more, Price stood up, walking over.Gaz wasn't quite sure what he expected, but it wasn't Price's warm hands gently cupping his face, thumbs rubbing his cheeks.

And it especially wasn't the soft coo “Aw… sweet boy, your soaking. Come on, what's happening?” As the rough hands tugged him gently towards the couch. He vaguely registered that Ghost followed, the hand on his back not moving even as he was sat on the couch. It still being a warm, grounding weight.

Price knelt In Front of him, a hand on his thigh “How long were you in the rain love? You’re freezing cold.” Gaz couldn't even put together enough words to explain, he honestly wasn't sure.

Luckily Ghost spoke. “I know he was out there for at least an hour. The idiot” The last sentence was said fondly.

Price winced. “No wonder you are fully drenched, love. Come on” Price's calloused hands slide under the sergeants shirt. “You'll catch a cold” he murmured before directing his attention to Ghost “Si, you know where my spares are”

Gaz was so out of it, he barely registered he whined slightly when Ghost stood, stopping rubbing his back. Price immediately shushed him, in that same gentle quiet tone. “Shh relax darling, he is just grabbing something for me yeah?”

His tone was soft as he pulled Gaz's shirt off, chucking it aside. His hands trailing the skin warming it up, and gently soothing the younger man.

Soon Ghost returned, slipping one of Price's larger shirts over Gaz's head, and then slipping a larger soft pair of track pants onto him as well.

Gaz simply moved where they prompted, trusting them, as they dressed him in warm, dry clothes.He still wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't both men then standing and sitting on either side, but he was too tired to question it and just melted against them.

Price voice was sweet like honey in his ear. “That's it Lovie. Settle down, it's okay”Gaz's eyes absently tracked over to Ghost, trying to get a glimpse of his expression.

His… boyfriend? Sex partner? Whatever was calling Gaz love. Was he not bothered?Ghost seemed to immediately understand the look, one of his unique skills. “We aren't monogamous, you know? I mean we don't even technically have a label on it, but price makes really good stress relief, if you like subbing.”

Gaz blinked, finally speaking for the first time since entering the room “I.. are you.. encouraging me to fuck him??”

His lieutenant shrugged “Not necessarily fuck, but he is good. Even if you keep all your clothes on, he can get you relaxed and in a sweet headspace, and you clearly need something Kyle”

They weren't monogamous? Not only that, Ghost was encouraging it, and price wasn't arguing? Gaz felt like his head might explode, he couldn't believe it.

He definitely wanted to.. but.. he didn't want to leave Ghost's side. And then that fucking power of Ghosts kicked in again.

“I can stay, Kyle. I don't have to go anywhere” At the nod he received he continued “just relax and be a good boy yeah? We'll take care of you”

Gaz had never considered himself a bottom, or submissive in any amount, he always topped. Even with soap, when they fooled round, there usually was no one in control, but if anyone was, it was Gaz.

But at those sweet, sweet words of praise, and Ghost gently tugging him onto the thick soft thighs, he melted. Fuck he would do anything they asked.

Price huffed a laugh. “Oh the sweet boy, yeah? You're gonna be so good for us” He murmured, stroking Gaz's hair.

Slowly, gaz's head started to drift off into a much nicer place. It was softer, gentler. Mission reports and recruit files fell to the wayside, briefings and emails were long forgotten.

Family drama, and exhausting missions were not even a thought as he leaned against Ghost's chest as Price's hands trailed across him, gentle.

Treating him as if he was important.A hand made it's way to his hair, he wasn't even sure whose it was, but it scratched the crown of his scalp just right.

The weight a comfort, in his damp hair. He, much to his mild dismay, began to drift off, sandwiched between the two men. He tried to fight it at first, but when Price gently rumbled at him to rest, they could continue another day, his eyes flickered shut.

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Hi! I've seen your rant about dating and being asexual. I know how you feel. I've felt like this for a long time, and no, you don't come off as bitter or envious. You're just hurt.

I'm spending this Valentines Day alone too. The person I love the most only sees the physique. Oh, and the sexual, which I can't because I'm really sex repulsed. People only seem to care for looks, and that really hurts when you're offering love and not just carnal things. So I get how you feel, I'm being through the same right now.

I felt really bad, because you always cheer up a lot of people with your fics. If I'm being honest, I don't usually read NSFW parts, I prefer to read just the cute and fluffy stuff to at least pretend I'm being loved, so yeah, I felt bad and needing to tell one of my favourite writers that you're not alone.

I'm being honest with you and telling you're a wonderful person, and if finding love is difficult for you it's because of how things seem to work this days. Being ace isn't easy this days. I agree with you on the waiting till marriage, it's a choice, but it seems to be less respected than chosing to just go sleeping with everyone. People want instant gratification, and casual sex gives that gratification without needing to give away anything like in a relationship.

It hurts really much. I guess you know how I feel when I see the person I love most, someone who've I always treated like the most precious person in the world, get into casual relationships that usually end up with that person getting a broken heart. So yeah, you're not the only one feeling like that. Unfortunately, society has forgotten about real love.

But there's still hope. There'll always be hope. I've seen that you're in your weight lose journey, and I must congratulate you. Being healthy is a good decision, not only for the looks, because it'd help your health, also the mental one. I recommend you that if you keep feeling like this, you should go to a therapist. They're usually really helpful, but I don't know much about your situation so you're the one who knows yourself better. Anyways, I'm losing my point with this shitty rant. You're expressing yourself through the things you like (in this case that really good fiction about Hell's greatest dad), you're getting healthier, I think this is the best moment to make a change. To start thinking that you're good enough without needing to please people. You can find love. I know you do. You're a nice person, and I'm sure that one day things will get better for you. Maybe you'll spend Valentines Day alone, but who knows? Everyday is a good day to find love. Maybe you'll start a relationship in March 6th or January 2nd. It doesn't have to necessarily be February 14th (I know that date really hurts, but just think about it: it's like a day to think about what you can do to be really comfortable and happy in the romance topic).

I'd say that I hope this helps you, but well, this is just a shitty anon who doesn't even speak English properly rant. I just saw your rant and thought "shit, I can't let this happen, I have to try to make things better even if I know I can't".

So I'm sorry if this was weird, stupid, didn't make you feel better... But in resume:

-You're not alone, being ace is kinda difficult this days

-You're a great person

-You're doing a great job overcoming obstacles, you now just need to learn to love yourself (it's difficult, it can take a lot of times, but I really hope you manage to).

-Don't stress yourself. February 14th hurts, but being single this day doesn't mean you'll be single forever.

My best wishes,

Just a random anon.

Thank you anon 💖

Firstly, your English is fantastic, knowing another language other than your native one is beyond impressive! And I’m so so thankful you enjoy my writing 💜

Secondly, it’s good to know that I am not alone in my feelings. Aspecs truly were not made for the world we find ourselves in today. I’m sex neutral/favorable, it varies day to day, but it is something I want to experience. But with the right person at the right time. Dating apps all feel so artificial and insincere, like no one on there is looking for a meaningful relationship. It’s all disheartening. I promise to keep my chin up and heart open. The worst thing I could do is close it off to any possibility of affection and romance.

I wish nothing but good things for you, anon 💖

[lemotmo]

Celebrate good times 🎉🎉🎉

Q. Surprise surprise everyone spiralled for no reason. But I'm super curious to know what you thought of the interview?

A. Actually many of us weren't spiralling at all because we understood there wasn't anything he was really going to be able to say regarding Buddie. And surprise, surprise he said nothing. It was actually a very good interview overall (Eddie is Jesus for the win!) I spent the last several days reading quite a bit of Jeff's previous work and he's very good at what he does so I wasn't worried at all about this interview. Listen I was already 100% certain that Buddie was happening and his non answer to the Buddie question only furthered my belief. Every other answer he gave was well thought out and perfectly articulated until he got to the Buddie question. And because he couldn't say anything he just threw out a bunch of words that when jumbled together gave the illusion of an answer when he really didn't answer the question at all. He was clearly desperately trying to not say anything he wasn't supposed to and it was hilarious.

Look it's easy to say that everything we're seeing now is because the show is finally on a network that understands how to promote their shows. And actually wants to promote the show. But the pr focus is very intentionally, and noticeably, Buddie centric. The Family Feud episode, all the Ryan and Oliver interviews, the Ryan photoshoots, Oliver playing in the NBA all-star game, the pop culture jeopardy question (I need people to understand how big that actually is), the New Years Instagram post, it's all Buddie focused. They are getting very close to hard launch territory. So while you can say some of it may genuinely be the result of moving to a network who not only understood what they had, but actively embraced the idea of it, that doesn't account for how singularly focused on them the pr has been. No one else on the show is coming close to getting that much attention from the network. I cannot stress that enough. The majority, including the journalists who cover the show, all believe this is going the same direction. We wouldn't all be seeing it or reading it incorrectly. The network, the show, and Ryan and Oliver all know what people think is coming and I do believe at this point if it wasn't happening they would say it outright. It is not difficult to say something like 'they love each other and have an incredible bond and are absolutely family. We will continue to focus on them and the unit they have created together but it will be in a platonic manner'. That's just not hard to say. And I believe at this point, given the fact that the majority are now anticipating the show pairing them off together, that they would have absolutely stopped the speculation. I've already said I believe they're coming this season but I actually believe it's happening sooner than I even thought. I won't be surprised if we know by 8x13. Does that mean they're officially a couple by then? Not necessarily, but I wouldn't be surprised if we know by then. I don't think ABC has any intention of dragging this out very long. There's too much focus. It's been building for 7 years and I think the network is looking forward to capitalizing on the popularity.

Thank you Nonny!

Yes to all of this. I've already posted extensively about the interview so I won't be doing it here anymore. But essentially, Buddie is coming and I agree with Ali that we will get confirmation sooner than later where the story is going.

Like Ali said though, I don't think they'll be together by 8x13. But I do think they'll both be aware of their feelings and then the whole pining, longing and 'will they won't they' era will begin, just like Oliver wanted. 😋 They'll probably take this story to its natural conclusion towards the end of the season.

It's odd just how sure I am about this. The me from a few years ago could only dream of fandom times like these. 🤗

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[merchuu]

.｡° ✧ Attack on sillynsick's Tweve (attack that i can't submit bc i didn't see that the artist was on spectator and i'm very very sad)

If you'd like to attack me, here's my profile 👉👈

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

[thecedarchronicle]

.

[koka-mi]

I both love and hate how I resort to sleeping every time I'm stressed and/or things just aren't going very good </3

[ebbarights]

turning over at 2am suddenly realising that 1. i had a crush on that guy i worked with two summers ago and 2. he was actively flirting with me and i was shutting him down

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 11: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should curiously socialize with a few of the boat travelers ...

~

"The Adventurer grabs one of the ornate glass bowls near the buffet table, meekly gathering some cheese and vegetables as he scans the crowd. For the first 15 minutes of the lunch, he mostly crouches in a corner seat, nibbling on his food and nervously fielding the occasional drunken question from a passing party guest..

Knowing he should.. probably... actually socialize at some point, he begrudgingly chooses conversational partners, squeezing his eyes shut and pointing around randomly until he lands on someone.....

The first is a scrawny man in a flashy suit, wobbly from wine but still keeping a vaguely charming demeanor about him. He proudly introduces himself as a "legal expert", then goes on to ramble for a while about the laws in the area, how drastically they vary from city to city (plus a few veiled hints on how to safely break them), and that if you travel a lot it can be hard to keep up with it all.

He mentions, quite conveniently, that he's recently published a book on the topic, a legal guide for local explorers, and offers to give The Adventurer a copy for a special discounted price... but... then soon recalls that the crate of books he'd planned to sell on the boat sadly ended up falling into the river earlier during a "silly little mishap"..

In place of a book, he simply slides The Adventurer a glossy mint colored paper swirled with golden floral motifs, supposedly serving as some sort of business card, though the actual contact information seems obscured beneath the cluttered design. The Lawyer also pulls off his scarf as he rises to leave, wrapping it around The Adventurer's shoulders with a little waving flourish (not the first time someone has confused his anxious shaking for cold shivers). The Adventurer stutters out a confused thank you, then watches as the Lawyer stumbles off, mumbling to himself that he's been drinking too much and "truly must find somewhere to piss"......

The second person he approaches is an older woman, hunched over a table fidgeting with a handful of colorful glass dice, spinning and stacking and arranging them into patterns whilst her thoughts drift elsewhere. Initially, she gives evasive answers when asked personal questions, but soon grows more talkative once the topic of local flora and fauna arises. She apparently used to adventure as well, roaming the lands to document various elements of nature relevant to her mysterious "private research" - though, at her age, she's now resigned to casual boat rides rather than riskily hiking alone through uncharted wilderness. Gently laying a worn leather journal of watercolor paintings out onto the tabletop, she points at various berries, leaves, and animals, eagerly describing their significance...

After chatting for a while, she abruptly changes topics, mentioning that sometimes she can "sense things which she should not" (whatever the hell that means), then asks him to pick one of her dice. He hesitates, but she just stares, refusing to elaborate further.. Finding even 30 seconds of awkward silent eye contact physically impossible to bear, he hurriedly plops a finger down in front of an iridescent yellow die. She chuckles..

Scooping up all of the dice from the table, she rattles them in her clasped hands, then brings them up to her ear as if to listen... to something?? A few moments later, she turns back to him, speaking in a raspy whisper: "There are others, melding your footprints with their own, seeking a gift you do not yet know - this is what I see."

Before he can ask her for any elaboration, the Captain returns, grumbling that The Adventurer has already stayed 5 minutes past the time limit and swatting at him with a broom to shoo him off of the boat. Apparently an hour can go by fast....

After climbing back into his dinky raft, he sails mostly successfully down the river, finally making it to a point that, at least based on his map, SHOULD be where the main road picks back up past the detour. He crashes into a small grouping of rocks whilst trying to navigate back to the shore, but he was planning on disassembling the raft to get his rope and supplies back anyway, so.. aside from a scraped knee and possibly broken pinky toe, he decides it's actually fine. The cat is okay, which is all that really matters, anyhow.

By the time he's taken apart his boat, eaten a quick meal, and bandaged his leg, the sun seems to have nearly set. It's later in the night than he'd usually like to travel, but, where he's going is a pretty commonly used road, so maybe it's safe? He's exhausted from socializing, but could probably muster enough energy to walk for at least a while. Or perhaps he should just call it a night and find a place to sleep.. But.. where??? What should he do?

-

Additional information

acquired a long, warm, expensive scarf

acquired slightly increased knowledge of local plants

acquired vague information from the 'dice based fortune teller', or whatever that was meant to be

acquired a business card (+ ability to get away with one minor crime free of legal consequence)

acquired mild nausea for the next 5hrs from weird buffet cheese

acquired badly scraped knee and sprained toe (will walk slightly slower for the next 2 days)

the adventurer's current main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[lovinglin]

HM

[miesozernacma]

5am is a wierd place to be.... on the day of Christmas eve of all days also

like why now

[lith-myathar]

disordered eating talk in the tags

[theladygazingatemptiness]

.

[ame-to-ame]

love being nd and have the tism wolf Inside me be so drastically uncomfortable with uncertainty that i physically cannot think about school and having to deal w the unknown of that whole situation without losing 5lbs in 2 days

[seenthisepisode]

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