#i did this instead of sleeping it literally took me 2 hours

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - hhu

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, conflict resolution, direct continuation to this, fluff, happy ending, etc.

part 1

wc: 3889

a/n: literally so many ppl requested thisjhdf im glad u guys liked it!! im working on vu and pu versions for this rn btw <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

seungcheol sat there for a minute or so, simply pondering at what had just happened. it was 100% his fault, that was something he was very well aware of. he knew that it had simply slipped his mind, but that did not wipe away the hurt he saw in your eyes upon entering your shared apartment. knowing that you had been waiting for him all day made him feel like an asshole. he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about your birthday even upon coming home at midnight the night prior. he felt like such a hypocrite, always whining at people to give him royalty treatment on his birthday but absolutely ignoring you during yours. you, his most favorite person.

he felt hurt that you had decided to spend the night with some friends, instead of in the arms of your boyfriend, but he understood. this was what he deserved. god knew that he wouldve pulled out all the dramatics if you had done the same to him, which was why he was now at a standstill, not knowing what he should do. he wanted to see you so badly, get on his knees and apologize, letting you know over and over again that you were the most vital person in his life and that forgetting you was something that not even he could forgive himself for.

now, he could've sat there and lamented himself over his stupid mistake, or he could run after you before you made it out of the building. he did not want you going to bed angry, or much worse, sad, so he picked the latter and got off his ass to chase after you, not caring about his current exhaustion as he took the stairs rather than the elevator in order to be able to catch up to you before you made it to your car.

luckily for him, he was able to catch you just as you stepped out of the elevator (having ran down five flights of stairs and almost injuring himself in the process), completely unsuspecting to his sudden ambush. he hadn't noticed until now, but you had dressed up, clearly ready to go clubbing or partying with your friends. he felt bad to get in the way of your plans. no, he felt horrible to accidentally ditch you and then ruin your plans. but he needed to at least try and make amends. he knew that if this were him, he'd want you to try and make it up to him.

you jumped back a bit at seungcheol's sudden apparition as you rounded the corner upon exiting the elevator, seemingly not having expected him to come after you.

"cheol, what are you doing?", you didn't seem mad, but your tone let him know you were clearly not content with him.

okay, he didn't think as far as this. his main goal was just to convince you to stay, then he would come up with a way to make it up to you.

"baby, i ... i'm so sorry. i know how hypocritical this is coming from me. i never meant to forget, you know that! there's nothing i can do to make up for having forgotten about you today, but please, please let me try."

"cheol .. i don't know," you paused, "last year when i texted you at 12:03 you complained about it for over an hour. you're the one always making a big deal about this. i assumed you'd care when the shoe was on your foot, but apparently not."

"i do! i do care. baby, please. let me take you out. ditch your friends. i'll take you somewhere. anywhere. i'll even take you out tomorrow too! i'll take the day off. how does that sound?"

"you cant take the day off, cheol. you're an idol-"

"i dont care! they can come and try to drag me away from you if they want. i want to be with you. please let me. please don't leave. cant stand the thought of you going to sleep alone after what i did."

you chuckled at the first half of his statement, feeling touched at the second part of it.

"are you sure?"

he scoffed, deciding to go on a leap and hold onto your hands, pulling you closer to him, "yes! there's nothing i wanted to do more today than be with you! it mightve slipped my mind that today was the day, but i had a beautiful day for us planned, baby. will you let me show you? please?"

cheol knew it was hard for you to say no to him, specially when he whined and pouted at you, giving you his best performance in order for you to understand how badly he felt. it didn't take much more for you to break, finally letting a smile graced your face as you squeezed his hands in yours.

"you better make this worth my while, choi seungcheol," god, he hated when anyone called him that, but you were the exception.

"always."

wonwoo -

wonwoo was astonished at himself, for lack of a better word. he had never been more disappointed in himself than in this moment. sure, he didn't take birthdays too seriously, and he knew you didn't either, but you always made him feel so special on his day he had only wanted to do the same. he was a lowkey guy, so his ways of showing love sometimes went unnoticed by most people, except for you. you accepted the subtlety of his love, loving him all the more for it. he felt terrible that today he showed you the exact opposite of what he had planned. he had taken weeks to perfect the dinner he had wanted to make for you, having prepared a romantic night for the two of you. all he wanted was to make you feel loved as he held you through the night, but his plan had stupidly slipped his mind.

what kind of asshole ditches their significant other on their birthday? for a stupid video game out of all things? as soon as wonwoo communicated what you had texted him to mingyu, his roommate couldn't help but scold him, telling him this was very uncharacteristic of him. which it was. everyone knew wonwoo to be a very sensible guy. it was very rare for anyone to have their feelings hurt by wonwoo. the guy was just simply too emotionally intelligent to ever be perceived as a hurtful individual. except now he had shown a careless part of himself that rarely ever faced the surface.

he was unsure of what to do. it was clear by your messages that you did not want to see him. you quite literally had asked him to not come. your texts to him were always filled with love, somehow being able to have your affections to him transcend even through text. but these were cold, and with good reason. still, wonwoo did not want to give up. the only thing that would be worse than ditching you on your birthday would be to stay where he was, knowing you were not only upset but also hurt by his actions. or rather, lack there of.

so, wonwoo was now on his way to you. well, to your apartment. you had mentioned in your messages that you would be out with friends due to his absence. it killed him that you had chosen to be with your friends over him, but he was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. he was glad you at least had someone to be with while his forgetfulness kept him away from you.

he had a key to your apartment, often heading over to fall asleep in your arms after a grueling day of being an idol. upon arriving there, he knew you'd be gone, so he allowed himself in, hauling in all the ingredients he had packed with him in order to make you the dinner he had been planning all these weeks. he was unsure of when you'd arrive back home, so he needed to hurry just in case. there was also a chance you'd come back in the early hours of the morning, knowing you would sometimes stay out with your friends til 1 or 2 in the am. having practiced this dinner multiple times, wonwoo was able to have it all done by 10, hoping that you'd arrive soon so the dinner wouldn't go to waste. he took care of the ambience, lighting candles and even moving furniture aside to make space for his set up. all he had to do now was wait for your arrival.

it had taken you around two hours to arrive. wonwoo had simply sat there waiting for you, not wanting to contact you as to not disturb you. okay, maybe he had maniacally texted you back earlier, apologizing for his mistake over and over, but had received no response, so he had decided it'd be best to just wait for you to arrive on your own. and now you were here, crossing the door to your apartment.

you stopped upon spotting him, widening your eyes before taking note of the dinner table behind him, "wonwoo? what are you doing here?"

he smiled sadly at you, slightly unsure of what to say, "i cooked for you," he paused, continuing upon seeing your confusion, "im so sorry. time got the best of me. i cant believe it slipped my mind. i knew it was today, but i got too distracted. i never wanted to make you feel like i didnt care. i do. so much."

you stood there without saying anything, still carrying a slightly shocked expression on your face. so he continued.

"baby ... please, have a meal with me. i prepared all this for you. this is what i had planned for today, if only i hadnt forgotten. let me make it up to you, please. i already called off tomorrow. i had a whole day planned for us, but i'll do whatever you want. if you want me to leave, i will. just, please. i need you to know how much i care. i love you, you're everything."

you continued to stare at him for a bit, a soft smile slowly breaking into your features before responding.

"nonu .. you didn't have to do all this. i'm sorry if i made you worry. this is ... it's such a sweet gesture. of course i want you to stay. all i wanted all day was to be with you," it melted his heart that you had wanted him all day, but were separated by none other than himself.

he pulled you into his arms halfway through your response, humming as he felt you hug him back. nothing felt as nice as your touch against his.

"im so sorry, beautiful. this will never happen again, i promise."

"i love you, wonwoo. thank you."

"happy birthday."

mingyu -

mingyu had never hauled ass quicker than at that moment, not even bothering to say goodbye to his roommate before grabbing a jacket and sprinting out of the door.

he couldn't believe his behavior towards you. you had always been a top priority to him, and to now realize he had forgotten your birthday gutted him tremendously. but what got to him even more was the knowledge that you had probably been waiting all day for him, having agreed beforehand that he would make space for you on your special day even through his packed comeback schedule. the sole thought that you, the bestest person he had ever met, had sat alone waiting for him all day, made him feel like the worst boyfriend. so now he was quite literally running in order to get to you.

the dryness of your voice during that call should've been the first hint that something was wrong, but what really made the alarms go off in his head was your lack of response when he said 'i love you' to you. mingyu knew it was dumb to care so much about it, but he thrived off words of affirmation, so your lack of response made him immediately assume something was wrong. you had never not reciprocated his words of affection, much less hung up on him. the moment he expressed his concerns to wonwoo, he was reminded by his roommate that 'oh wait, isn't it their birthday this week?' suddenly his mind started spiraling, now remembering that he had forgotten his boyfriend duties on the most important day.

it didn't take him too long to get to your apartment. okay, he didn't actually run there, he was just being a tad bit dramatic. but dramatics were necessary in this situation, which is why the moment you begrudgingly opened the door after his incessant knocks, allowing him inside, he immediately dropped to his knees, looking up at you as he rambled apologies at you.

"baby, i'm so fucking sorry. god, i don't know how i forgot. i swear the day just slipped my mind. i had plans ready, i swear! i've just been so busy with the comeback- not that that's an excuse! you have every reason to be mad at me. it won't happen again, i promise, i-" mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he was going to stop listing off constant apologies to you. he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying at this point, just repeating himself over and over again, letting it slip past him that you were now standing above him, holding in your amusement at the state of the pleading man before you.

"mingyu, please get up."

like an obedient boy, he got up, now towering over you as he usually did. he immediately held onto your hands, bringing them up to his chest as he continued his apologies.

"you have every right to be mad at me. i neglected you and forgot about you when i shouldn't have. i didn't even wanna come home to wonwoo tonight! i wanted to come to you! but we have a schedule early tomorrow morning, so it was just easier. but i'll cancel! i'll stay here with you! i wanna make it up to you-"

"mingyu, shut up!"

that was enough for him to slam his mouth shut immediately, looking at you as he waited for your next command words.

"mingyu, listen. i understand. i was hurt you forgot, but i understand you're really busy right now, okay? i'm not angry at you. you don't have to cancel your schedule either. i don't want to get in the way of-"

"i'll do it! you're my top priority, baby. you know that."

"i still don't want you to cancel, gyu. it's fine. i'm not angry. i appreciate your apology. just wanted to be with you today .. i'm sorry if i made you worry," you looked down, almost as if embarrassed by having felt hurt by his actions. this made mingyu melt with guilt.

"no, baby. fuck. how can i make this up to you? can i stay here tonight? hmm? i'll cook you dinner and wake you up with breakfast. i'll even cut my schedule short for tomorrow so i can be back home with you earlier. how's that sound?"

"sounds perfect mingyu, thank you," he took this as confirmation to finally hold you in his arms, swaying you back and forth as he hummed the birthday song lightly against your ear, causing you to giggle against him.

vernon -

everyone was aware that vernon could sometimes be a little too chill for his own good. he didn't make too big of a deal about most things, simply going with the flow and allowing things to evolve on their own. except that could not be done in this situation. right now, he needed to make a choice. give you your space, or run home to you, tail between his legs as he apologized for ever having forgotten about you. the last thing vernon would ever want was for you to not feel the immense amount of love he's always had for you. he knew he could be bad at showing it sometimes, but you were the absolute love of his life, which made him feel devastated over and over again as he kept rereading your texts.

'maybe you should stay at the dorms tonight. not really in the mood for you to spend the night. im sorry. love you.' that was what you had last sent to him exactly thirty-eight minutes ago. how could he just sit with that for the rest of the night? specially when all he wanted to do was be with you and hold you and kiss you and show you how incredibly obsessed with you he was. he was never good with dates, but he had always gotten any and all dates pertaining to you right thus far. he even had a gift for you he had purchased a few months back, but he had stupidly forgotten the day he had been preparing for was this week. this mistake was an outlier, truly, but it hurt you nonetheless, which was all vernon cared about at the moment. he couldn't believe you'd been having to hint at your birthday while your boyfriend remained clueless. you must've felt so dejected. he winced at the thought.

however, right now was not a time for lamentations. even if you kicked him out and told him to get fucked, vernon had to at least try to come home to you now. he quickly went over the situation with his members, explaining that he had been a total douchebag and neglected you. that earned him scoldings from all members present, calling him all types of names and demanding he head over to your apartment right this instant to beg for forgiveness and hope you wouldn't just send him right back.

so now he was on his way to you, despite you having instructed him to stay away. he wanted to respect your wishes, but he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing your heart was still hurt because of him. he needed to at least see you and have you know that he was willing to try and mend things. vernon wasn't one for public displays, nor was he one for dramatics, but he was willing to pull all stops for you if it meant you'd forgive him. which was why he was currently running through the hybe hallways as he called up his driver to be ready to take him to your apartment as soon as he reached the parking lot.

he had had time to think over a game plan on the way over, except nothing came to mind. the two of you had never fought before. sure, there had been a few minuscule spats here and there, but he had never seen you angry at him before; he'd never given any reason to be until now. he didn't want to freak out over this, but knew how hurtful it must've been for you to feel so neglected by the person who's supposed to love you most, so he felt a pit in his stomach with the worry that maybe this would be enough for you to finally snap at his forgetful tendencies and end it. he didn't have much time to think about this, however, as he now stood in front of your apartment door, fearful of knocking on it.

the decision to open the door was made for him, as you incidentally opened it yourself, yelping at his apparition on the other side of it.

"vernon? what are you doing here?", you didn't seem angry. you seemed more confused at his presence. that was good.

"i- uh ... i'm sorry."

okay, kind of a bad start.

"vernon. i told you not to come over tonight. i'm sorry, i'm not really in the mood to see you right now," even though you didn't appear angry, your eyes wouldn't meet his, making him deflate a bit.

"are you mad at me? i'm so sorry. i didnt mean to forget, i swear," vernon knew there wasn't much he could say past that, but he wanted you to at least know he regretted his neglect.

"i'm not angry, vernon. i'm just a little ... sad. i tried to be subtle about it. i mean, i dont even care for my birthday that much, but i hoped my boyfriend would at least remember it."

"baby, god. i am so fucking sorry. i never meant to make you feel like i didn't care. it just slipped my mind. i know it's not a valid excuse, but i need you to know that it doesnt mean anything. i'm just a fucking idiot. i'm sorry."

he was rambling now. somehow you being hurt by him trumped the chance of you being mad.

"vernon, it's fine. i dont want you beating yourself up about it. i'll get over it. i just need space tonight. i was about to go meet with a friend before you got here," you seemed like you just wanted to get out of the situation, clearly feeling awkward at even expressing your disappointment at him. it made vernon feel like even more of an asshole.

"no! be mad! you shouldn't get over it. i should be making it up to you. stay. please. i'll do anything you want. i'll take tomorrow off. we can do something together. anything you want. i have a gift for you and everything! i got it while in japan, the date just slipped my mind, i swear. please stay. i don't want to leave you alone if i made you sad. please."

"vernon ..."

"please. i don't want to force you. if you want to leave, i'll accept it, but let me make it up to you. i dont want you to feel like i dont care. i do. i know i dont express it much, that's on me. i'll make it known. i'll show you. i don't want to hurt you again, i-"

he was unable to finish his sentence, now stumbling back due to a sudden weight against him. you, with your arms now wrapped around him as your face nuzzled his neck. he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in as he lowered his head to breathe you in, humming as he felt the relief of having you in his hold.

you pulled away too quickly for his liking, eyes slightly glossy but not enough to consider it worrisome, "i forgive you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to exaggerate. i did feel neglected, but-"

"but nothing. don't apologize, please. this won't happen again, okay? i love you."

"i love you too," you smiled at him before pausing, "i .. do you wanna come in?", you seemed a bit sheepish, probably feeling awkward at hearing vernon ramble apologies at you for the past five minutes, showing way more emotion than he usually did.

"come in? oh, you're not leaving? wait, don't answer that. yes," he held onto your hand before you could say anything, pulling you in for a quick kiss before leading you into your apartment, all under the promise to make up for his previous carelessness and never make you doubt his affections for you ever again.

[loveforquanrui]

hii!! can i please req how zb1 would act when you sleep on the couch after an argument 💓

hi nonnie!! sorry i took a while to get to your request school was starting so my attention was on that! but here you go I hope you like it. also i didn't feel comfortable writing yujin since I wrote this in the sense of ZB1 being in romantic relationships so I did not want to include yujin.

-Jiwoong-

if that's what you want he would understand

he would be so sad though :((

he wouldn't annoy you by begging you to go back to bed

instead he stays up all night hoping you're gonna go back to him

but no you are stubborn and strong willed so you sleep on the couch

when you wake up to your surprise he is fast asleep next to you

-Hanbin-

oh hanbin :')

the moment you said you would sleep on the couch, hanbin was ALERT

he would not even let you make contact with the couch

"please let's just talk it out"

in the case that you don't want to talk to him though..

he would just hold your hand all night until you talk to him

and then he would talk through the argument and try to find a solution right away

hanbin just doesn't want you to go to sleep feeling sad or angry :(

so ofc our little hamster is going to do anything to make you feel better and to make up for the argument

-Hao-

Hao is an introvert

his first instinct is to give you space, since it's what he would want

so he would go to your shared bedroom thinking you would join him later

but when night time hit and you still weren't there he got worried

despite his begging you were adamant that you would sleep on the couch

so while you went to shower, he prepared anything you may need

blankets? check. comfy slippers? check?

but before you could even see him prepare all that for you

as quickly as he set that up, he quickly left to your shared bedroom

once you were fast asleep

hao would occasionally wake up to go check up on you

yes he understands that you're upset but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being the amazing boyfriend he is

-Matthew-

the way this man would feel SO BAD (queue stayc)

the idea that you rather sleep on the uncomfy couch instead of the comfy bed in his arms..

yeah that was enough for him to run to you and apologize

matthew is sooo persistent

he would be apologizing all night and try to convince you to go back to bed

when you don't budge and are set on staying on the uncomfy couch

he takes matters into his own hand ;)

after an hour he has enough and flings you over his shoulder, takes you to the big bed, tucks you in and gives you a longing kiss

after doing so he is off the sleep in the couch

FORGIVE HIM PLS :(

-Taerae-

the way this man is so stubborn and petty

his pride is HIGH

he wouldn't even bat an eye when he sees you sleeping on the couch (BRO IS THAT PETTY)

he goes to bed in your shared bedroom not caring and giving you the cold shoulder

until 2 hours pass and he starts missing your warmth

that's when he gets up and looks at your sleeping figure from the hallway

he just stands there and contemplates whether he should wake you up

he does.

"i can't sleep please come back. im sorry i promise i won't do it again"

-Ricky-

this man is lucky he has such a face

at first he wouldn't tell you anything, his stare seems cold and blank when he sees you

he doesn't care, atleast on the outside

on the inside we know Ricky is literally crying

it hurts him so much seeing you rather be on the couch instead of with him

he lets you be and you fall asleep on the couch

to your surprise though when you wake up, you're met with the familiar morning light and the familiar blankets hugging your body

throughout the night, ricky watched until you fell asleep and when you he knew you were out, he carried you back to bed and slept next to you

when you turn around to see if ricky is in his usual spot, instead of your boyfriend you see a note

"im sorry please forgive me come to the kitchen"

when you get up and get to the kitchen you see multiple gifts and breakfast on the counter

a shy ricky holding the back of his neck saying "good morning"

-Gyuvin-

if you left the couch expecting to be alone, you are wrong.

the moment you leave to the couch, he is trailing behind you

gyuvin loves you too much he wouldn't let you be alone

lets alone would he let you go to sleep angry and alone

despite you not talking to him and giving him the cold shoulder

this man is cuddling up to you saying...

"i know you're upset but I love you and I don't want you feel like I don't"

you both end up making up but still sleep on the couch cuddled up together

when you wake up, gyuvin delivers breakfast in bed (the couch)

all day he is doing some sweet acts of service (THIS MAN IS SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID)

-Gunwook-

gunwook like hanbin would not let you fall asleep on the couch when you are upset

he understands what you are feeling and he wants you to know that

he insists that you guys fix the argument

when you refuse to (cause sometimes we be petty like that)

gunwookie sits on the floor next to the couch, holding your hand until you are willing to talk

when you can't take it anymore (he literally will not let go) you decide to give in and talk about the argument

you both talk and both apologize and come to an understanding

after communicating the problem you guys go to your shared bedroom holding each other

guys gunwook would be such an amazing boyfi

[sixosix]

m m m m maybe blanket plus yuuta plus hurt/comfort maybe. maybe 🤞

in which rika likes you because yuuta definitely, definitely does.

warnings wc 800, mention of injuries and descriptions of blood !! careful when u read <3 also i took hurt comfort literally BWHAHSAH hope i did your expectations justice nyx ily

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

“Yuuta. Yuuuuta.”

Rika’s voice echoed in the quiet hall. Yuuta winced, wishing Rika would keep it down; it was 2 AM, and no one would appreciate being woken up around this hour. But he knew that if he said so, Rika would be sad, and he didn’t want to hurt Rika and cause a worse scene.

“I’m fine, Rika-chan, really,” Yuuta murmured.

Rika growled unhappily. Yuuta, too, knew that he was lying. Although his wounds weren't life-threatening, he still needed to get them treated before they got infected. But Yuuta had just come back to this room—he was so, so tired. Sleeping in wouldn’t hurt anyone but him, right?

“Yuuta!” Rika snapped. It reverberated and shook the walls.

“Shh, Rika-chan,” Yuuta whispered hastily. “Please, our friends are sleeping.”

“Yuuta?” 

Both Yuuta and Rika fell silent, alarmed. That voice certainly wasn’t Rika’s, and it most definitely came from the door.

“Yuuta?” you asked again, followed by a knock. “Are you okay in there?”

“I—I’m—I’m fine!” Yuuta yelped.

“Didn’t you just come back from a mission? Why are you here instead at Ieiri-sensei’s?” Your voice was muffled by the barrier that separated you both, but it was still enough of your voice to have Yuuta’s ears reddening.

“I was! I’m resting now!” Yuuta lied straight through his teeth, embarrassed beyond belief. In truth, he didn’t want to disturb her.

“Yuuta’s a liar!” Rika chose not to stay silent at the worst time. “Liar!”

The door swung open. Yuuta didn’t have enough time to hide a steadily growing red shirt or his pretty much the same face. The air thickened as you drew closer, and Yuuta struggled to tell if it was because of Rika or his reaction to you.

“Okkotsu Yuuta,” you said, deceptively calm. Yuuta felt the hair on the back of his arms rise in alarm. “Yuuta, don’t tell me that the stain on your shirt isn’t from ketchup.”

It was his blood, so Yuuta obediently stayed silent.

You sighed and spun around to leave the room. Yuuta’s chest ached as he watched you leave. His lip trembled, and he looked over to Rika, who seemed to be giving him that same stare of disappointment.

Yuuta shrunk in on himself. “I think I made Y/N mad…”

“Stupid Yuuta,” Rika trilled. “Yuuta is an idiot!”

“I know, I know,” Yuuta cried. “I get it now.”

As he was preparing to wallow, Footsteps emerged once again. You burst into the room with a first aid kit and a stern glare that made the protests die on Yuuta’s tongue. Strangely, Rika was silent.

“Let me see,” you demanded.

Yuuta’s face flamed with embarrassment, but he obliged and tugged on his shirt. Most of the injuries were cuts on his torso that would surely hurt once he showered, but again, it wasn’t anything worth all of this. He braced himself for the stinging pain once the cotton grazed his open wound, but instead, he found himself too flustered by your proximity to even notice you were already working on his wounds.

The room was dead silent, save for Yuuta’s labored breathing. Rika had disappeared; Yuuta chalked it up to him not being in danger anymore. 

“Yuuta, if this happens again, come to my room, okay?” you said softly. 

“I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. I’m asking you to.”

Yuuta deflated. “I can’t just disturb you.”

“I want you to disturb me.”

What a dangerous thing to say. Yuuta’s gaze went sharper. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” Your touch was too gentle. You faced Yuuta’s gaze head-on, fearless. “And you would do the same for me. Aren’t you the one being unfair?”

Yuuta sighed. He could never win when it came to you, anyway.

“Thought so,” you mused, carefully pulling his shirt down again. “You should learn how to ask, Yuuta.”

“I’m trying,” he muttered.

You tugged on the blanket folded neatly by his side and draped it over his shoulders. The heat of your touch remained in the blanket's warmth. When you stepped back to grin proudly at your work on a flustered and helplessly endeared Yuuta, you then frowned.

“Hey, where’d Rika go? I thought she wanted to share the blanket.”

“I think she wanted you to share it with me,” Yuuta said before he could think about it.

“Oh.” You blinked. “Is that so? Well, I guess that’s not a bad idea.”

Liar, he could hear Rika’s voice. Well, he never denied it.

Yuuta laid down carefully and lifted an arm from under the blanket. You crawled inside and settled beside him, launching into a ramble about how you were worried sick when Yuuta didn’t return early. He still struggled to ask for what he wanted, so he would settle for this.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 3

Hey guys!! I am really loving all the excitement for this story. It's going to be a fun ride.

I'm going to be taking a week off with this and Icarus (metal band Steve) next week because I can't wait for you guys to see the Stripper AU and the Olympic swimmer one. And Sept is too far away dammit!

This part we see the morning after and Eddie learns Steve's real situation.

Part 1 Part 2

~

Steve woke up the next morning, warm, sated, and happy. He stretched luxuriously in the bed, reveling in the silky softness of the satin sheets against his bare skin.

“There’s the sleepy head,” Eddie said from a nearby chair. He was gently strumming his guitar and jotting down notes. “Did you sleep good, princess?”

Steve sat up and let the sheets pool provocatively around his waist. “Best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time, if I’m honest.”

Eddie chuckled and put the guitar down. He strolled over to the bed and kissed Steve deeply. “As much as I would like round two, I’ve got to check out in an hour and I still need breakfast and shower.”

Steve pouted, but the tantalizing smell of room service hit his nose and his stomach growled.

Shit.

He hadn’t eaten since his dinner two nights before. So he slid out of the comfort of the bed and pulled on his pants, before padding over to the table that had a literal feast laid out.

“I figured you’d be hungry,” Eddie explained. “Eat as much as you want, I can grab food on the tour bus.”

Steve looked up at him, chewing his bottom lip. “Are you sure?”

“Yup!” Eddie said, and then gathered some clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

Steve dug into the food with gusto. His mouth watering around each bite. Look, he’d grown up rich. He had never had “poor” people food. Only the best ever graced his mother’s table. But this? This was god tiered level food. Each bite melted in his mouth and lit up all his senses. It was divine.

Granted that could just be because he was hungry, but he didn’t think so.

He wasn’t sure how long he took savoring each morsel but he looked up to Eddie chuckling in the doorway to the bathroom.

“You keep making those sounds, baby,” he purred, “and I might be tempted to see how fast I could get you off.”

Steve ducked his head to hide his blush. “Is the food always this good?”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Not always sometimes they’ll have some asshole chef who thinks he’s god’s gift to food and makes it all about him. Small portions, bland, expensive as hell. There isn’t much Hawkins has going for it, but this hotel is definitely one of them.”

“It must be so expensive getting a room here,” Steve breathed.

Eddie just shrugged. “You must have not come from much if this impresses you.”

“My parents are like lawyer and businessman rich,” Steve said shaking his head, “not rockstar rich. Trust me when I say that this would blow their fucking minds.”

“Duly noted,” Eddie said coming to sit next to him at the table. There was still a lot left as Steve had been enjoying the meal instead of scarfing it down. “I wouldn’t know. I grew up in Forest Hills that’s the trai–”

“Trailer park,” Steve said quietly, “I know. I used to babysit after school for fun money. I didn’t have to do it, but I enjoyed it and I liked the pocket money that wasn’t dependent on Mommy and Daddy. Anyway one of my kids was from there. She had a single mom who worked and when she didn’t she drank, so I was happy to watch her and get her out of the house for a couple of hours.”

“Oh.” Eddie blinked for a moment and then half shrugged. He pulled some food onto his plate and took a bite. “So yeah, I grew up poor and each time we moved up the chain from sleeping rough, to motel, to cheap hotel, to nice hotel, to some place more like this I was always impressed. Don’t impress me anymore, though.”

Steve tilted his head to the side. “Do you miss that? The wonder of seeing each new place?”

Eddie frowned as he thought about it. He took another bite of food but he nodded. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

He poke Steve in the ribs. “Don’t I didn’t notice you wanting to go diving into those pillows when we first came in. I saw you.”

Steve squeaked and giggled. “All right, all right. But can you blame me?”

“Nope!” Eddie said with a grin. “Because that was the first thing I did when I got into the room yesterday afternoon.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, all right.”

They finished their breakfast.

“Come on let me take you back to your car,” Eddie said putting his luggage together for his PA to grab later.

“Oh.”

Steve didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t tell him that he still had all his earthly possessions in his car. At least he hoped they were still there. That he didn’t have any place to go and he couldn’t ask the parents of those kids he babysat. His dad would make their life hell.

“No, it’s fine,” he said waving Eddie off. “I’ll relax here in the lobby for a bit and then call a friend for a ride. You can go whenever you need to.”

He had no friend to call and he would be walking that long ass trip back to the bar.

“I’m not going to do that,” Eddie said, standing up. “I’m going to take back to the bar because that’s where the tour bus is anyway. It doesn’t make any sense to have you call someone else when we are literally going to the same place.”

Shit.

There was nothing Steve could say to that. So he finished getting dressed and walked with Eddie back to his rental car.

Once they got to the bar, Steve tried to sneak off, but Eddie wasn’t having it.

“I’m walking you to your car, Stevie,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Fuck.

Steve dragged his feet all the way to the back of the lot where his Bimmer was parked.

Eddie stopped ten feet from the car and looked at Steve in indignation. “Please tell me you have some place to go after I get on that tour bus.” Steve opened his mouth, but he held up a hand, “And please don’t lie, you’re terrible at it.”

Steve’s jaw dropped as he stared at him in shock. “I am not!”

“Yeah, you are, babe,” Eddie said coming and taking Steve’s face in his hands. “It’s how I was able to tell you weren’t twenty-two, remember?”

Steve let out a small petulant huff but said, “Yeah, okay. My dad kicked me out and threatened all my friends so they wouldn’t want to take me or risk his wrath. He did the same thing to my job at the video store.”

Eddie kissed him tenderly and then pressed his forehead against Steve’s. Steve grabbed onto his wrists for something to hold onto, not to pull him away.

“Let me get this straight,” Eddie growled, “you have no friends, no money, no job, and no place to go, is that right?”

Steve nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. He took Steve’s hand and started hauling him away from the car.

Steve stumbled, trying to keep up. He looked back at his car and then back to Eddie. “But where are we going?”

“I need to make a short pit stop and then we’re going back to the hotel,” Eddie said firmly.

“But what about your tour?!” he protested. “I let you throw your life away from some guy you just met!”

Eddie stopped and turned around to face him. “You listen real close, little Canary. We are going back to the hotel to get you a room for the next six months so that you have a roof over your head and a constant supply of food. Then I will be going on tour and will check in on you from time to time to make sure you do need anything else. Is that clear?”

Steve gulped he wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. And he had the feeling that if he tried to weasel out of it, Eddie would be right back in Hawkins to hunt him down.

“You take care of everyone else,” Eddie said gently, “let me take care of you.”

“How–how did you know I take care of everyone else?” Steve stammered, trying not to think of the implications of what was going on here.

Eddie kissed him gently. ‘Because little Canary, you have not once talked about the boy you were obviously caught with for your dad to throw you out even though he’s not offering to take you in either. You haven’t railed against the friends that are clearly more afraid your dad then they care about you. You haven’t blamed your dickhead boss for firing you for being gay, even though you really should. And you haven’t called the parents of the kids you used to babysit for fear of your dad coming after them, too. You have carer written all over you, babe.”

Steve blinked in the face of that onslaught of information.

“Oh.”

He hadn’t really thought to blame anyone for his current predicament because it was obviously his fault this all happened.

“So you’ll let me help you?” Eddie asked with a raised eyebrow.

Steve sighed and waved his free hand back to the direction they were going. “Lead on.”

Eddie cackled and did just that.

~

What the pit stop was was Eddie talking to his band and manager about getting Steve a room at the hotel, putting all of the expenses on Eddie’s credit card and hauling all his belongings up the hotel room Steve had vacated literally a scant hour before.

The room had been cleaned and the bedding replaced and the bed made anew.

Eddie handed Steve a paper with a couple of numbers on it. “The top one is my cell phone. I usually leave it in the tour bus, but if you call it I’ll call you back as soon as I can. The second number is Chrissy, she’s our manager, if you need anything other than what the hotel provides, call her and she’ll get it for you. The third number is your hotel en suite phone number. I don’t recommend giving this out to too many people though, okay?”

Steve nodded and gingerly took the paper from him. He looked up at Eddie, eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Thank you so much for this.”

Eddie kissed him again. “You just relax and enjoy yourself, baby. The tour will be over in a few months and then I’ll come back to you, I promise.”

Steve kissed him goodbye as tears flowed down his cheeks. Eddie kissed them away and gave him a hug goodbye.

Once Eddie was gone, Steve sat down into the chair Eddie had been in when he woke this morning. Hard.

His entire life had been turned upside down again. This time was even more insane than the last.

Just two days ago, he had been making out with Tommy Hagan on his parents’ sofa and now he was sitting in the swankiest suite in Hawkins’ swankiest hotel, which would be his for the next six months.

He had all his clothes and his pictures and things. He even got to put them up on the side table, housekeeping would just dust around them. His clothes were in the drawers and closet. There was a basketball court in the hotel gym, there was a swimming pool, and a fucking sauna. There was a TV in the room, hooked up to cable. He could even order porn on here and it would all be charged to Eddie’s credit card.

Steve literally had everything he could ever need and never leave the hotel. There was just one condition.

No underaged drinking on Eddie’s credit card. Steve could smoke, watch porn, do whatever else he wanted, but he couldn’t drink alcohol until he was twenty-one. Because Eddie didn’t want to get into trouble with the law and Steve really didn’t blame him.

So he traded booze for the life of luxury. Which fucking hell was a pretty great trade.

He wiped his hands on the black leather pants he had yet to change out of and stood up.

Steve eyed the bed for one moment before he was running straight for it. He leapt into the air and landed spread eagle, face first in the center of the bed, pillows flying everywhere.

It was every bit as amazing as he thought it would be.

He rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he could get used to this, in fact.

~

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19

Tag list: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt

9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Precaution

Moon boys x afab!reader

Wanna get tagged?

Summary: You feel like starting to get sick. The boys take action.

Content: Marc being Marc, Jake feeds reader at first, wholesome.

A/n: Felt like getting a cold couple days ago but it turned out to be nothing but a stuffed nose and some sneezing. Welp.

You woke up with a throat drier than sand, a full nose and feet as cold as ice.

Steven was sleeping perfectly fine next to you with his face buried in his pillow.

As bad as you wanted to just shove your feet into Steven's blanket, your dry throat made you want to drink liters of water.

With a soft groan, popping your bones and putting socks on, you got up and headed into the kitchen.

The clock along your way showed 2:45 AM. An ungodly time for an ungodly feeling.

In the kitchen the first thing you did was downing two and a half glasses of water.

Your throat was feeling so much better with all the water, but your nose was still stuffed so you grabbed some tissue and took care of it.

Both nostrils breathing in fresh air. The best feeling.

Just a second later you heard the soft padding of feet approaching the kitchen.

When he came into view, he was rubbing his eyes.

"Hi luv." Steven spoke up with a sleepy voice.

"Hi." you smiled.

Steven went to the fridge, opening it and grabbing the milk. "It's like 3 AM, can't sleep?" he asked, pouring milk in a glass and putting it back in the fridge.

You shrugged, "Woke up with a dry throat."

Steven eyed you with worry, sipping on his milk. "Don't catch a cold now."

You gave a smile. "Nope."

"Did you open the window again? Maybe that's why."

"Yeah... but only for five minutes... well, until I fell asleep." you admit sheepishly.

Steven shot a lazy smirk. "Oh wow."

You shrug. "Anyways, I'm heading back to sleep, you coming?"

He nodded, putting the glass down and followed you back into bed.

"See you in the mornin' love." he smiled, giving you a peck on the cheek before he fell asleep.

You moved closer to him, feeling how so much warmer he is compared to your blanket.

A cheeky smile tugged on your lips, your ice cold feet inching closer into his blanket, immediately feeling his heat.

Wanting more heat, you slipped both feet inside, brushing them against his feet.

He jumped at the cold feeling. "What's that thing!?" it wasn't Steven anymore, instead it was Marc now.

You snort. "That thing is my feet."

Marc turned to face you. "Shit, you're really catching a cold, huh?"

"No, my feet are just cold!" you argue, slipping your feet under Marc's.

Marc pulled his covers up and reached out to pull you close, bringing the covers back down over you. "Fine, let me warm you up."

You immediately melt into the heat he provided. "Much better, thanks."

He pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you. "You know, you could have asked." he chuckled.

In mere seconds you were out cold thanks to the warmth.

Couple hours later you woke up to an empty bed. Feeling refreshed, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

The smell of vegetables was in the air, some herbs and even chicken.

Then the door opened and Jake came in.

"Ooh, getting sick now, sweetheart?"

You blinked confused at him. "Um? No?"

"Dry throat, stuffed nose and cold feet are a mean sign of catching a cold."

"But I'm feeling perfectly fine.."

Jake grins. "Until it comes back with a smack."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

He shrugged. "Precautions, sweetheart."

You smile. "Jake, I appreciate your offer but really, I'm feeling good." you said softly.

"No no no, you will thank us for it, trust me." Jake insisted.

Your nose was stuffed some more. "Pwease, don't work your asses off just because of me." you sniffled.

Jake grins again. "Mi amor, when our girl gets sick we of course do everything we can to get her well fast."

You sniffled again, pouting at him.

"Ay, we're just trying to prevent you from getting sick." Jake walked over to you to pinch your side playfully.

"Jake!" you threw an exaggerated pout, watching Jake proceeding to the door.

"You wait here, we bring everything when it's done!" he smirks over his shoulder before disappearing again.

About 10 minutes later, Jake returned with a plate of soup and steaming tea.

"Sit up sweetheart, you're getting fed." Jake smiled, putting the plate down on the nightstand, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Jake please, I feel awful with you pampering me." you chuckle.

"Ah-ah. No complaints." Jake playfully wagged his finger.

You sat up against the headboard. "The soup smells delicious." you smile.

Jake spooned up some soup, blowing a bit and moved it close to your lips. "Marc and I made the soup." Jake smirked.

Parting your lips, you leaned in a bit, allowing Jake to guide the spoon into your mouth. "You and Marc are a dangerous compilation." you chuckle as Jake moved the spoon out.

The herbs mixed with the vegetables hit your tastebuds, the chicken lingering in your mouth after swallowing.

Jake chuckles, "But it's good, huh?" he got another spoonful of soup to your lips.

"Delicious." you parted your lips, letting Jake feed you.

"Oh and Steven made the tea. Green tea." he grins, pulling the spoon out, spooning up soup again.

You made a face and parted your lips. "Ugh, green tea."

"Don't worry, he put honey in it so it won't taste that gross." he fed you again, then put the spoon down and got up.

"Now, eat that soup and drink the tea. And don't fool us, or you will get sick." Jake smiled, flicking your nose then left the room.

You ate the soup in peace, feeling warmed up well and full.

Later, Steven checked in on you, seeing the soup and tea already empty.

"All done, luv?" he smiled widely.

Nodding, you pulled the covers up your chin. "Yes, I already feel better, thanks." you smiled contently.

"That's wonderful. Now since you're feeling better, how 'bout we just lounge around on the couch, watch your favorite show?"

"Can we rewatch The Mandalorian?" you grin.

"Of course." Steven smiled.

You followed him into the living room, sitting down while Steven went into the kitchen.

When he came back, he brought some snacks and set everything up.

You immediately knew Marc was back.

He flipped the remote control in his hands as if it was a blaster, doing the same pose and motion of Mando shooting.

"Alright, who's ready for some Mando action?"

---------------------------

Taglist: @nekoyin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[slimybeth69]

Chapter 2

Rating: Explicit- Smut, violence, drinking/drug use. MDNI!! Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss?

Warnings/Tags: DaddyDom!Joel/ you. no use of y/n. No physical description of the reader besides one tattoo. Reader has a background story. Drinking/drug use. Slow burn. Smut. Angst. Cheating. Graphic depictions of violence. Eventual loss of virginity. Use of nicknames/pet names (lil girl, baby girl.) DD/lg dynamics. BDSM play.

Unbeta'ed. WIP. Cross-posting from my Ao3. Updates every Wednesday. whenever.

Joel is staring at you as he sits in the driveway of your sister’s house. You’re trying to not look at him but neither one of you has said anything since he pulled in a minute ago. The sun is about to come up, the sky is just starting to get dark blue instead of pitch black. He has to work in a couple of hours but you do not. 

“You gonna let me see you again t’night?” Joel whispers after another minute of silence. His voice sends a chill through you in the best way. You want to invite him in so, so badly. So badly. You know he’ll probably say no though, because he has to work. If he says no for whatever reason you’ll overthink it and never talk to him again. So, you just don’t ask. His arm slides across the console between you and his pinky brushes up against yours gently. “I’d like to, if I didn’t scare you away.” He tries to make a joke but he sounds nervous. 

“Scare me?” You chuckle, finally looking over at him. His dark, intense brown eyes are smoldering and they’re burning holes into you as he stares. You swear you start to sweat. 

“Moved faster n’ I normally do.” Joel gives you a meek smirk and rubs the outside of his pinky against yours. “Don’t normally kiss on the first date.” He whispers softly. “Definitely never did that before.”

“Really?” You are shocked because— yes the fuck he has. He’s twenty years older than you and has so much more experience. “Liar.” You hiss at him playfully. He shakes his head no with that same sheepish smirk on his face.

“Nuh-uh.” The tip if Joel’s tongue slides between his lips slowly and you’re enchanted by this. You could watch him do that all day. He does it one more time, like he heard you say that in your head. Your eyes flick up to his and he’s watching you…had seen where you had been staring and now he smiles. “Loved it…” He trails off as his eyes drop to your mouth. 

“You really wanna see me tonight?” You ask quietly as he continues to watch your lips move as you talk. He nods silently and you can see him swallow hard. You wanna ask him inside so badly. You just wanna curl up in his literal armpit and sleep forever. You’d probably fit so nicely. His arms look so strong. Fuck.

“I do.” He finally speaks when you stay quiet for so long. The sky just gets lighter and lighter as he sits in the driveway, looking at you. He’s waiting for you to either get out or invite him in, but he hasn’t said anything. You’re stalling because you don’t want him to go. 

“Alright.” You are trying so hard to work up the fucking nerve to ask him to come inside when he leans over the console and kisses the side of your head right into your hair. He inhales softly before he pulls away.

“I’d sit here all mornin’ with you… all day, honestly– but I gotta work in–” He checks his watch and groans loudly and lets his head fall back in frustration. “Four hours.” 

“Do you live far?” You ask curiously. 

“Half hour.” Joel shrugs. You have an idea. A risky one.

“You’re working five minutes away?” You raise an eyebrow and he turns his head to look at you with a knowing glance. He nods silently, knowing what you’re about to ask. “Do you… wanna just sleep here? It’s so close n’ I feel bad you stayed out with—”

“Don’t be sorry fer’ that. I’m not.” Joel shakes his head no and then stops, narrows his eyes and drops his chin to his chest. “I really gotta sleep though.” He growls at you. 

“I wasn’t going to try anything. I’m a very respectable lady.” You tease. You had just had your hands down your pants for him six hours ago. You’re shocked you spent six hours with him. Where did the fucking time go? 

“Alright. You gotta shower I could use quick?” 

“This house actually has no showers.” You give him a deadpan response and he blinks at you. 

“Ass.” He pokes at your side as he opens his door. You reach for your door but he sucks his teeth at you twice to make you stop. You furrow your brows at him as he walks around the back of his truck, drops the tailgate and grabs something and then walks around to your door. He opens it and holds his hand out to you.

“Oh you really are an old man.” You smirk and let him help you down. 

“A dirty one.” He growls in your ear as you lead him to the front door. “I need a shower real bad.” He kisses just below your ear as you unlock the door and let him inside. “Damn, nice fuckin’ place.” Joel looks around just the entry way. 

“Yeah my sisters husband is fuckin’ loaded. Owns his own IT company.” You explain, tossing your keys on the table. Joel kicks his boots off and follows you further inside. “Do you want something to drink?” You open the fridge and grab a bottle of water and offer it to him over your shoulder. He’s standing directly behind you, his body pressed tightly to yours as he takes the bottle from your hand. You get yourself one and lead him down to your mini apartment in the basement. 

“This all you?” He asks as you get down the stairs. It’s nothing special. You have a living room, a kitchenette, your own bathroom and a bed. It's a basement. "S'nice down here." 

“Yeah. It's alright. Nothing to brag about.” You toss your bottle of water onto the couch and point to the door that’s beside the stairs to go back upstairs. “That’s the bathroom. There might be like… a bar of soap under the sink I’ve never used. Everything else is pretty girly smelling.” You have not one single thing that belongs to a man down here. That bar of soap is Cody’s from when this was his personal gym. Sam made him move that stuff all to the garage so you could live down here. 

“I have stuff.” Joel holds the bag he had grabbed from the trunk. You smirk and cross your arms over your chest. 

“Oh, is that for emergencies like this?” You raise one eyebrow and try to not seem concerned as to why he has a bag with shower stuff and extra clothes in it. 

“You wish.” He sneers at you playfully. “I keep a bag packed in case I decide to go see Sarah after work or whatever. I’ll just shower n’ change when I get to her instead of goin’ home first. Easier. Usually get home n’ don’t wanna do nothin’ else.” He sighs and starts to the bathroom. “You still gonna be awake when I get out?” He has his hand on the doorknob but is looking over his shoulder at you. You nod. 

As soon as he is in the bathroom you’re changing out of your ugly sweatpants and t-shirt and put on the cutest pair of matching pj’s you have– nothing special. Just a black and white polka dot short and button up sleeping set!! You got it from Target and loved it and you wear it all day sometimes because it is so soft. It’s also very cute and a little cheeky and if you undo one of the buttons on the top it’s just a little sexier than it’s made to be. So you do all of that and crawl into your bed. You roll you two a joint and listen as he turns the shower on. 

He doesn’t take a long shower and you’re already smoking when he comes out. His hair is wet and he has on his just boxers. Jeeeeesus fucking Christ. Okay. Calm. Cool. Collected. No sex. Not tonight. He had sex with that fucking lady two days ago!! He admitted it to you!! UGH. Why did you even offer to let him stay… Because he looks like that!!! He is soft. He has a soft, pudgy tummy but it’s not flab. Nothing on him his flab even though he’s all soft. All of him…except his arms maybe. But all of him looks like he’s got a soft layer over rock hard muscle. You stare…how can you not!? He’s perfect!!

“Did you go get that from my truck?” Joel asks in all seriousness, nodding to the joint in between your fingers. You stare at him, blinking. 

“No?” Is he accusing you? Like you stole it from him?

“Should’a.” He dries his hair with the towel as he drops his overnight bag on the floor next to the wall. He hangs his towel up on the doorknob of the bathroom and crawls into bed beside you. Your heart is pounding because it has been literal years since a man has slept in bed beside you. You didn’t even sleep then because you were too nervous. 

“You smoked me up all night. S’my turn now.” You smile and turn to face him. He lays on his side, propped up on his elbow. 

“I'll smoke you up all the time if ya let me.” Joel reluctantly takes the joint you rolled for the two of you and hits it twice. “S’good shit.” He strains out as he holds the smoke inside of him. He coughs twice as he lets it out. 

“I know.” You smile and lay back into your comfy pillows. Joel’s hand rests on top of your thigh as he watches you smoke. 

“Thanks fer’ lettin’ me stay. I’d just be gettin’ home now…trynna do all this. Wouldn’t have gotten in bed for another hour, probably.” He runs his fingers along the hemline of your shorts, but gently. Nothing other than just a comforting touch. 

“Thanks for stayin’.” You hand him the joint but his fingers dig into your skin gently, like he doesn’t want to stop touching you. You hold the joint to his lips so he can hit it. You have butterflies. Serious ones. Those big fuckers you see on national geographic sometimes. Lookin’ like fuckin’ birds. You got several of those giant butterflies inside of you right now as he stares down at you. His body feels so big and solid next to yours. 

“You don’t regret doin’ that all with me, do ya?” He asks after a minute of just watching you smoke. 

“No…should I?” You smirk up at him nervously. He shrugs. 

“Dunno. I don’t regret it. I jus’ don’t want you thinkin’ that’s the only reason I wanted to see you.” He whispers quietly. 

“I wanted to do it. I don’t regret it.” You whisper back up to him. Joel takes the joint from your hand and taps it out in the ashtray on little table beside your bed.

“Wanna kiss until we fall asleep?” He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him tightly. You nod and run your fingers through his wet hair slowly. You make him hum happily as he leans down to press his mouth to yours— both of your already have your lips parted, needing to feel the wet, inviting warmth of the others tongue. 

Joel runs his hands up and down your back slowly as he deepens the kiss. You have to hold back a soft moan, have to because if you moan into this mans mouth and he moans back you’re going to touch between his legs and you can’t do that yet! No. He has to work soon. Joel is the one to pull away from the kiss. 

“M’dumb.” He sighs softly. 

“Why?” You’re suddenly nervous…what’s he going to admit to you now!

“Dunno why I thought that would make me wanna fall asleep.” He chuckles to himself. “Just turned me on.” Joel rolls onto his back. “C’mere.” He reaches for your wrist and pulls you onto your side. You press yourself against him and drape your arm over his stomach. You put one leg on top of his and feel how turned on he got. He inhales sharply when your knee grazes his erection. 

“I’m sorry, did I hit it?” You try to pull away from him but he holds your wrist tight and wraps his other arm around you and presses you back into his side. 

“Didn’t hurt it.” Joel snorts softly. “Go to sleep, pretty lil girl.” Joel growls deeply. You dunno how the fuck you’re going to do that! You’ve never wanted someone in your bed before so badly and he just wants to sleep! What!? 

The first guy you meet who doesn’t only care about sex is the only guy you wanna have sex with? Great. Awesome. 

Joel is snoring within five minutes. It is… not a soft snoring. He snores pretty loud actually. It’s not bad though. You have a loud fan that you turn on via a remote on the table by your bed and snuggle back down beside him. He squeezes you gently and goes back to snoring. He smells so good. Like a mans soap and you don’t get to smell that much. It’s always so strong and kinda spicy smelling. Lingering. You’re excited because your bed is gonna smell like him when he leaves. But he won’t be here anymore and that makes you sad. 

The next thing you know an unknown alarm is going off for two seconds before the warm body behind you is shifting and turning it off. He doesn’t move again though. He goes back to snoring. 

“Work?” You touch his back gently. He groans quietly and pushes his back against your chest softly. 

“Good thing ‘bout bein’ the boss.” He grumbles sleepily. “I’ll go when I wanna.” He sighs softly as you snake your arm around his waist and press your body into him tightly. He’s snoring again before you can get back to sleep. It doesn’t take you long to drift back off with his body almost vibrating from how deep and rumbling his sleep noises are. 

The next time you wake up, you are in a completely different position. You’re sleeping on your back with both of your arms above your head and Joel has his head on your chest as his arm over your stomach. You smirk, slide one hand his hair– he gives you a happy hum in his sleep before you're back in dream land. 

“Hey.” Joel is trying to wake you up but you’re so comfortable. So, so comfortable. He’s so warm. “Hey, wake up.” He keeps trying but if you wake up he’s gonna leave and you don’t want him to. 

“Nooo.” You whine sleepily. It makes him chuckle and now you’re lips are being smooched and he smells like he just brushed his teeth. You open your eyes and he’s still shirtless in bed next to you which makes you sigh with relief. 

“You’re not hungry?” He smirks. You furrow your brow. 

“What time is it?” You look around and it’s the basement so…you dunno what time it is really because it’s always the same, artificial light that it always is. The lights are on though and they were off when you woke up last time…so he’s been awake. 

“Almost four.” Joel laughs and runs his hand across your stomach gently over your shirt. 

“Shut up. You missed work?” You’re shocked and now fully awake. He nods and smirks at you. 

“S’no big deal.” He shrugs and leans in to kiss you again but now you’re hyper aware that you probably have horrible morning breath. You pull away from him and cover your mouth with one of your hands. He laughs softly and pries your hand away from your lips. “Don’t care. You been breathin’ on me with yer’ stinky breath all night.” He grins and kisses you again. You try not to smirk but you can’t. He’s too cute. 

“I can order us something?” You suggest, reaching for your phone. “I don’t really wanna leave–”

“Yer’ not orderin’ us shit. Did you not hear anything I said last night?” Joel is glaring at you when you turn back to him. “I’ll get it. Put yer’ shit away. Made me smoke yer’ fuckin’ weed last night. I didn’t even wanna take that from you!” He exclaims, rolling onto his back. He opens his phone and just…gives it to you. “I got some stupid app in there that brings food to you.” He rolls his eyes and rubs his hands across his face. “I’ll be right back.” 

Then he jumps up out of bed and goes into the bathroom.

If you know anything about men and how long they take in the bathroom to do anything… you have so much time. So much time with this unlocked and unsupervised phone. You look all around the room with your eyes because this has to be a trap. He’s watching you somehow. 

You do not look for his stupid app. No. You go right to the messages. Tommy is the last person he texted. 

Not comin’ in today. Stomach. Be in tomorrow.

Okay. That’s normal. He wouldn’t just tell this guy Tommy that he’s not coming in today because he stayed up all night with a girl who was young enough to be his daughter. No. He wouldn’t say that. Nope. The next text thread is yours. The one underneath that is Sarah. You open it and read through it and it’s very clearly his daughter. She just sent him a picture of her and her boyfriend or fiance or something. You don’t remember. She is so pretty though, holy shit. You get out of that thread and keep looking until you find exactly what you’re looking for. 

Ava. A girls name. The only other girls name besides yours and his daughter. This is the lady. You are trembling when you press her text chain and see the things they have been saying to one another. 

You almost throw the phone across the room because it’s just picture after picture of her in very compromising positions… all different kinds— how is she taking these pictures?? Who is taking them for her? How does she get those angles? You are honestly kind of impressed at her agility but then you get sick because he’s loved every single one. Even the one she sent him yesterday…. After your shift ended. Fuck. Okay. You can’t be jealous. He told you all about her and–

The phone dings in your hand. You’re expecting a message notification to drop down from the top and let you know someone is messaging him… but a new fucking picture of this blonde hair, green eyed bitch pops up. She is in bed and not wearing anything. She’s cupping her own breast with one hand and biting her bottom lip. You’ve officially just fucked yourself. Completely. He’s gonna know you were in his messages. You just fucking read a brand new one he’s never seen!! UGH. You back out of all those texts and then stop. You go back to Ava’s chain, delete the new picture she sent him, delete that out of the recently deleted area and then try and find that stupid delivery food app. Fuck. 

You should have never, ever gone through it. You could die of embarrassment and now jealousy. You find the stupid food app and go through it even though you have no appetite anymore and want to crawl back under the covers and cry. You’re so dumb. So, so dumb. Joel comes out of the bathroom and crawls back into your bed. He must of have not heard his phone go off or he doesn’t care, he doesn’t ask for his phone back. Just smiles at you. You wanna throw up on him. Oh my god. 

“Find anything?” He asks happily, rubbing his hand along your thigh. You shake your head no with not one sound. He takes the phone from you and starts to scroll through the restaurant choices. He makes a suggestion and you nod your head, this time you add a hum so you don’t sound like you’re mute all of a sudden. 

You need to smoke. Honestly… a drink doesn’t sound too bad. You just woke up. It’s four thirty… so… you could have a drink. You wonder if he drinks. You wonder if he actually likes those pictures that lady Ava sends him. She’s not unattractive…not at all. There was just something about all those pictures. It was like she sent him one every day. There had been messages between them but your eyes purposely danced right over them because you saw him say–

Gonna fuck that—

And then you stopped reading because you would have thrown up.

“What is wrong with you?” Joel is waving his hand in front of your face and you jerk softly and look down at him lying in your bed. “Been talkin’ to you…yer’ not answering…you okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just kinda tired still.” You lie. You’re fully awake. Never sleeping again, maybe. Ugh. This is why you avoid the boy drama. It’s just so easy to be in the basement or at a park or out with your friends– when you had some back in Jersey, you have no one here– and to not have to worry about a man. A man who wants to cheat on you and lie to you. Who is doing nothing but using you. Joel doesn’t really seem like that kinda guy but neither did a lot of the guys you talked to and they ended up being like that. 

“Alright…” Joel doesn’t believe you as he continues to scroll through his food app. You’re watching him, admiring and hating how handsome he his when his phone dings again. It’s the slight turn away from you with his wrist so you can’t see the screen that does it for you.

“I completely forgot that I actually have a thing I should be at right now.” You climb off the bed and leave him laying there, still in only his boxers. He frowns at you and sets his phone down – screen against his skin– on his chest. 

“S’wrong? You were fine when I went into the bathroom.” Joel shrugs. “You went snoopin’? Found somethin’ you didn’t like?” He’s smirking. “Knew you would. Wasn’t hidin’ anything from you. I knew what was in there.” Joel shrugs his shoulders again. 

“You’re an ass. You set me up?” You scowl at him and stand at the end of the bed. He shakes his head.

“Nope. I just gave you my phone to order us somethin’ to eat. Maybe a coffee or somethin’.” Joel smiles, very satisfied with himself. 

“Do you think you’re so clever? Like, so smart or something?” You’re so unimpressed with him and also so embarrassed. 

“I am. You disagree?” He is still smirking but now he holds his arms out to you, he wants you to come back to bed. Be close to him again. You shake your head and give him the middle finger. This makes him chuckle and now, he takes his phone off his chest and sets it down on the bed and sits up. “You gon’ make me chase you?” He growls softly, putting his feet on the floor. 

“Don’t chase– what are you? A child? You’re an old man.” You leer at him as he slowly pushes himself off the bed and to his feet. 

“Might be old…but I’m still quick.” He shrugs his shoulders and stays still where he stood from the mattress. There’s maybe five or six feet between the two of you and you’re closer to the stairs than he is.

“Oh I know allll about how quick you can be.” You jeer playfully but, you still snap it at him like you’re upset because you are kind of. You don’t like that he probably got another picture from her when he didn’t react to it. Ugh it makes your heart hurt. 

“See… I wasn’t gon’ chase you before… but now you went n’ made it personal.” Joel holds his hands up like he’s got no other answers for you. 

“Just an observation I made last night.” You shrug your shoulders and take an inched step towards the stairs. Joel inches towards you slowly. 

“Oh? Like you weren’t jus’ as fast as I was? Like the damn roadrunner or somethin’.” Joel scoffs at you and holds his hand out to you in presentation. 

“Now you’re really showing how old you are.” You take another small step towards the stairs. 

“I thought you liked how old n’ dirty I was…” Joel trails off with a small smirk on the corners of his lips. His eyes ablaze with something… lust or mischievousness. Something, but you can’t put your finger on it. 

“Maybe I lied.” You shrug one shoulder and bat your eyelashes at him even though you’re still mad and also kind of disgusted. 

“Do you need a spankin’?” He asks seriously. “Should give you one for bein’ disrespectful n’ flipping me that bird.” He growls softly. You try and bite back a smirk. You’ve never been spanked before. 

“I’d like to see you tr–”

Joel is moving. With speed towards you before you can even finish your sentence. You squeal and take the steps up to the first ground floor two at a time. Joel is right behind you and you think you can feel his fingertips graze your ankle as you round the corner to the kitchen. Joel, who is big and heavy and cannot stop and turn as gracefully, skids into the open door with a crash and follows you through the kitchen. He’s almost right behind you again– he is fucking fast– but you dip into the hallway that takes you upstairs to the upper floor. There isn’t much up there. An office and a guest room. Then just Cody and Samantha’s room and Carson’s nursery. A big bathroom. That’s it. You don’t really have anywhere to go, so you dip into the guest bedroom and run around the bed. Joel stops between you and the door. You are both panting for air, staring at each other. 

“Yer’ gettin’ spanked.” His chest is rapidly rising and falling as he points his finger at you. 

“Over my dead body.” You scoff at him, but the idea of it is making you wet. 

“Like I can’t see you rubbin’ yer’ thighs together like a cricket.” Joel smirks and nods towards your center. You blush because… no reason. You were not doing that…noticeably. He was making an educated guess. “Ya were bad…now you gotta deal with the consequences.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and sighs like this is the only choice he has. 

“I saw those pictures.” You snap at him, changing the subject and trying to remind yourself that you are indeed mad at him. He shrugs again. 

“Sent me on yesterday before I came to see you…”

“And you heart reacted to it.” You point at him critically. He chuckles a little and shrugs again. 

“We hadn’t hung out yet. She was my lil booty call. Whaddya want from me?” He gives you that bashful smirk and the softest brown eyes you’ve ever seen. 

“She sent you one this morning…” You admit through a huff. “While I was looking and I deleted it.” You avoid his eyes but this makes his makes him really laugh. 

“She musta been mad that I ignored her, ‘cause she sent it again right before you got out–” He’s still laughing but it’s not funny to you.

“I know. That’s why I got out of bed.” You snap at him. He furrows his brow. 

“How did you know?” He wants to know because you hadn’t even really been sitting to see the screen. It was just the slight flick of his wrist to twist his phone just slightly away from you that made you know… it was probably a muscle memory for him when her name pops up since that’s all she fucking sent him– nudie pictures and sexts!

“Don’t worry about how I know things. I just know things. So you shut up.” You keep pointing at him, but his brow softens and he is smirking again. “Stop smiling. You’re stupid. And old.” You roll your eyes at him. “Is that all she fuckin’ sends you?? Is that what you like? I’m not doing that shit.” You shake your head no at him…but you might. You have one single thing of lingerie. It’s baby blue and lacy as hell. Comes with sexy thigh high stockings and a lil belt with straps to keep the stockings up. Everything is completely see through. 

You have no idea why you bought it or even brought it down here. You should have thrown it away because you put it on once to see how it looked— very fucking nice– but then never again because you never go that far with anyone. You’d put it on for him…send him a picture of you in that.

“I don’t care. She’s always done it. Turns her on ‘r something. I dunno. Don’t really care.” He shrugs.

“But you heart react to them all.” You stare at him… “And then you sext with her…”

“Lil Bird, you’re over thinkin’ it. Her and I fucked…that’s it.” He is very blatant with his statement and it makes your stomach churn. “She’s nice… my age… but I ain’t into her like that–”

“What’s that mean?” You don’t let him finish before you’re asking questions. 

“What? Into her?” He raises one eyebrow. You nod silently, still pointing at him like he’s done something wrong. “I dunno. She’s just not really… my type? I dunno. She’s nice but I don’t wanna hang out with her. Don’t wanna stay up all night lookin’ at her.” Joel smiles at you sweetly. “Usually do her doggy–”

“Oh my god.” You drop the finger you're pointing at him, but only to cover your ears like a literal child. But if you hear him say anything else you’re going to throw up all over this nice, white comforter. 

“Oh cut it out. We’re both adults. Me n’ you. I told you last night I wouldn’t see her anymore.” He sounds a tiny bit frustrated. “I don’t want to see her anymore. I’d rather see you.” He shrugs again and that lil bit of frustration has left his voice. “Yer’ cute n’ funny. Bold– I like that. A lot.” He nods and raises his eyebrows. “Not many women approach me ‘cause I’m intimidating– I dunno. I usually have to make the first move.” Joel admits.

“You’re fuckin’ lying.” You laugh at him. He’s not laughing and just shrugs his shoulders. 

“Nah. I don’t mind it. Less drama fer’ me if they just stay away. I can be an asshole sometimes.” Joel drops his eyes to the floor and now looks embarrassed. 

“An asshole? I find that hard to believe. ” You roll your eyes and let him know you don’t mean it. He looks like he could be an asshole if he wanted to. You are a little regretful right now. This is why you avoid this kinda stuff. Just makes for hurt feelings and crying in bed at night. So dumb.

“Got a lil anger issue. Nothin’ violent. I just say mean shit sometimes. S’not nice but I know who I am.” He shrugs his shoulders again. You wrinkle your nose at him. 

“Is that the man version of I know I’m a bitch but, it’s just who I am. Take it or leave it? Because that’s stupid as fuck,” You roll your eyes again and cross your arms over your chest. He scoffs slightly. 

“Hey, at least I’m honest n’ upfront about it. Givin’ you fair warning.” He is back to being a tiny bit frustrated. 

“Oh… like that just makes it okay? Like a lil disclaimer? Hey I’m a piece of shit sometimes. Cool? Cool.  That’s not how it works— at least not for me,” You snap at him. 

“Okay.” Joel shrugs his shoulders. 

“Okay.” You shrug your shoulders right back at him.

Joel stares at you for a long time before he speaks. He sounds annoyed when he does.

“Want me to leave now?” He grumbles. 

“S’probably a good idea.” You nod your head even though you don’t really want him to go. You want him to stay and spank you and take your virginity but you are mad at him. He’s a grown man. He needs to get over himself and be better. Apparently Ava enjoys it. She can have him 

“Alright.” Joel snaps and then turns on his heel. You don’t follow him because you’re gonna cry. You need several seconds to regain your composure– breathing for so long and so hard. 

Finally when the tears stop threatening to spill you make your way downstairs to the ground floor. He’s coming up from the basement and you meet in the entryway. He’s fully dressed in new, clean clothes. He stops in directly in front of you and looks down. You tilt your head to look up at him, expecting him to be glaring or scowling at you but his eyes are soft.

“Sorry.” He whispers quietly. He sighs sadly before bending at the waist. He kisses you gently and you don’t pull away. You want to cry again. You don’t really want him to leave. Not at all. 

“For what?” You whisper as he pulls away. He shrugs and takes a step around you and to the door, he starts to put his boots on and when they’re both on and he has his hand on the doorknob he turns to look at you over his shoulder.

“Dunno. Just felt like I should say it. Had fun last night. Hope everything works out for you.” He opens the door and then he is gone. The door is shut and you lock it. The tears burn your eyes before you can even get to the stairs to take you to your room. Your bed is still messy but there is a new addition. 

It’s a ziplock bag of weed on your pillow that was not there before you got chased upstairs. It’s big, packed tight. This makes you cry harder. You grab your phone and there is a message from him from seven minutes ago…when you were upstairs trying not to cry. 

For you. Dont need nothin for it. Just wanted to give it to you. Had fun whitchya

This makes you cry even harder because why? Why is he so nice and so thoughtful and hot and also an asshole? Do you really even care that much? Fuck. This is stupid and he is stupid and your bed is the only thing you do know. You know this bed but now it smells like him and it’s almost unbearable. It slowly becomes comforting intermingled with sadness because you know you won’t get to smell him again. 

[luvkyu]

hii kyu ! idk if ur reqs are open but if they are, i wanted 2 request a dokyeom (svt) x m!reader fluff oneshot where dk makes it his mission to cheer up his bf who's sick (or just tired/exhausted if u prefer) by taking him on a date :) anyways i hope u have a great day !! :D

home with u ( lee dokyeom/dk )

dokyeom x male reader

kyeom takes care of his sick bf !

content : 1k words, fluff, idol!kyeom, kyeom calls reader pretty boy

( a/n ) this is literally MONTHS old im so sorry it took so long :( i changed it a little cause i was having a lot of trouble writing it for some reason but i hope you like it <3

"kyeom, i can feel you staring."

"okay. and?"

y/n scowled quietly while opening his eyes. dokyeom was laying directly in front of him, just centimeters away.

"it's making me self conscious."

"but you're so perfect," dokyeom countered with a small pout. "looking at you makes me happy. my favorite boy."

"damn it," y/n muttered as he felt a blush creep onto his face. he quickly rolled over to the other side of his bed. "i hate you."

dokyeom simply laughed at his stubborness.

"you love me," he insisted while slipping his arms around y/n's waist, spooning him.

y/n smiled, still trying to hide it though. dokyeom nuzzled his face into his neck while planting tiny kisses against his skin.

"you're still burning up.." dokyeom mumbled. he could feel the heat radiating off of y/n's neck and face, making him even more worried.

"hm.. 'm fine, kyeom," y/n responded drowsily.

"are you sure you don't wanna just go to a doctor?"

"i hate doctors."

"baby," dokyeom quickly argued. y/n didn't need to look at him to know he was frowning - or probably just pouting. he sighed and turned back over to face him.

"if it doesnt pass after tomorrow then i'll go see one, okay?" he promised, leaving a short kiss on the other's forehead.

dokyeom smiled and nodded before catching the male's lips instead. he kissed him deeply, whispering a small "thank you" after pulling away.

"don't you need to leave for rehearsals with the guys?" y/n asked, looking up at him.

"no."

y/n blinked. "no?.."

"i'm staying here."

"what? no. you should go to work."

dokyeom shook his head. "i'm worried about you. i'm staying here."

"kyeom-"

"i already texted our manager. just let me take care of you."

y/n frowned, now seeing the concern in his boyfriend's eyes. he sighed and gave in before snuggling into dokyeom's chest.

"okay, baby. you can take care of me."

dokyeom finally smiled again and nodded his head in triumph.

"i'm sleepy," y/n mumbled into the other's slightly wrinkled shirt.

"then sleep, bub."

"mm.. will you sleep too?"

"i'm not really tired enough to nap, honestly. but i'll stay with you."

y/n felt his heart skip. he smiled and snuggled into him again, soon falling asleep in his arms.

after sleeping for about an hour and a half, y/n woke up to hear soft humming coming from beside him. he looked up at his partner. dokyeom's eyes were closed peacefully as his phone played wave to earth on the bedside table. he was humming along quietly and running his hands along y/n's arms to the rhythm.

"your voice is so beautiful," y/n complimented.

dokyeom's eyes shot open. he looked down at the boy in his arms.

"did i wake you up??"

"kinda, but it's okay. i like waking up to this."

dokyeom frowned, "no, go back to sleep. i'll shut up."

y/n took the male's hand in his own and gave it a reassuring kiss.

"kyeom, it's okay. i'm hungry now anyways."

dokyeom looked at him for a moment, as if debating his fault.

"alright, i'll see what i can make us for dinner."

"i barely have any food here right now," y/n warned. "unless you want cup noodles for dinner."

"tsk. remind me to go grocery shopping for you tomorrow."

y/n rolled his eyes, "i like cup noodles."

"cup noodles are not a meal."

y/n scowled at such a response.

"'ooh look at me, i'm dk, i'm too good for cup noodles,'" y/n teased, waving his hands around in a mocking tone.

dokyeom squinted at him with fake hatred, "you're lucky you're sick right now."

y/n stuck his tongue out and sunk into the covers of his bed. dokyeom shook his head at him before finally exiting the bedroom.

sure enough, all he could find in y/n's kitchen were cup noodles. he sighed. he wished they could just go out for dinner, but he didn't wanna risk getting anyone sick. he settled on ordering in some food instead.

eventually, y/n got bored by himself. he slowly got out of bed and trudged out of his bedroom. he followed the sound of the music coming from dokyeom's phone, leading him onto his large balcony.

"what're you doing, love?" y/n asked.

dokyeom looked up in surprise as he adjusted one of y/n's small tables on top of some blankets he'd put on the balcony's floor.

"since we can't go out, i thought we'd have dinner outside at least. a home date," he explained. "the fresh air will be good for you and it's so nice out tonight."

y/n couldn't stop a smile from growing on his lips.

"that sounds amazing. thank you."

dokyeom nodded and gave his cheek a light kiss. y/n could tell that the other was proud of himself. dokyeom would never admit it, but he loved hearing approval and praise - especially from y/n.

once their food arrived, dokyeom set everything out and made them drinks. the balcony was the prettiest y/n had ever seen it. with his fairy lights lit and the blankets and a couple pillows brought out, it looked all cozy and warm.

dokyeom set their chopsticks out as a finishing touch before they finally sat down together. it smelled amazing and neither could wait to start eating.

after taking his first bite, y/n hummed in satisfaction. he smiled and closed his eyes, savoring the flavor in his mouth. dokyeom gazed over at him. he was completely in love.

"how do you still manage to look so perfect even when you're sick?"

y/n opened his eyes again and now saw his partner's eyes on him. he couldn't help but blush a little.

"your eyes are broken."

dokyeom's brows furrowed. he leaned forward, over the table and close to y/n's lips.

"my eyes are fine." he gave y/n another kiss, longer and deeper this time, "my pretty boy."

y/n then watched him pull away and go back to his food. he knew his ears and cheeks were probably turning red, while dokyeom just picked up his chopsticks and went right back to eating as if nothing happened.

"how-" y/n didn't know what to say. dokyeom looked back up at him.

"hm?" he hummed. the fake cluelessness on his face made y/n send him a small death glare.

"oh i hate you, lee seokmin."

dokyeom laughed endearingly at the remark, then simply smiled at him.

"you love me, baby."

[mikerickson]

8/29/2024 - 9/6/2024

If I had a nickel for every time I took a vacation in a small European naval power that historically punched above its weight in global affairs I'd have two nickels, which... ah, you know the rest.

Just got back from a trip to the Netherlands and Belgium that was basically: Amsterdam -> Apeldoorn -> Utrecht -> Den Haag -> Brussels -> Ghent -> Amsterdam. I will now proceed to talk to myself about the highlights below the cut.

Still can't sleep on planes. I even took a sleeping pill and bought a fancy new neck pillow thing to help, but instead I was just exhausted and strangling myself. My dinner also didn't sit well with me, so every time I was about to fall asleep, my gag reflex would trigger and I felt like I was gonna throw up. Seven hours of this was not very relaxing.

Landed at ass o'clock in the morning local time and had 6 hours to kill before hotel check in. I've always read that spending time outdoors in natural sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm and can fight jet lag, so I took us to look at some windmills. This was kind of a blur and I'm not certain it made much of a difference because I did end up crashing and taking a nap in the afternoon anyway.

Acknowledging that I am biased about this because I am 1) American and 2) literally a traffic engineer by trade, I simply cannot describe the Netherlands as anything other than "car-hostile". I felt actively unsafe driving around each city we visited because there are so many people on bicycles everywhere, who have right of way. Hell, even as a pedestrian I didn't feel safe because they come at you from every direction and you gotta keep your head on a swivel at all times. In The Hague I watched a woman get knocked into by a cyclist who just shouted over her shoulder "Let op voor fietsen!" ("Watch out for bikes!") and carried on.

Amsterdam ended up being more interesting than I was expecting and now I kinda wish I had dedicated one more day for it in the itinerary. Convenient and easy mass-transit system, some of the best bookstores I've ever been in, and beautiful canals everywhere you look.

Were I forced to describe the geography of the Netherlands, I would have to call it "suspiciously flat." I also got to continue my tradition of traveling to foreign countries, seeing literal hundreds of spinning wind turbines all over the place, and seething with jealousy.

Utrecht was a neat, smaller city with a central canal that I wish I had set aside more time for. Felt like a place where you'd actually want to live more than a touristy city.

The Mauritshuis in The Hague is where Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring is located, and you know that before you even get to that room because she's plastered on 99% of everything for sale in the gift shop right at the entrance.

When we drove over the Netherlands-Belgium border, it started getting overcast. These gray skies hung around for four days, and dissipated as soon as we traveled back north on the final day. All of my memories of this country will now have a gray/de-saturated filter on them.

I know Brussels has a reputation of being a run-down or dangerous city among Europeans, but it just felt like a regular American city to me (specifically like the architecture/street layout of Boston with the political importance of Washington DC). Like, I don't know what to tell you, sometimes cities have visible homeless people, unsightly graffiti, and ethnic minority neighborhoods? It's gonna be okay, I promise. Amsterdam felt like Weenie Hut Jr. by comparison.

Going through the European Parliament building was very cool and very well laid-out and informative. Definitely a personal highlight of the trip for me.

The Belgian War Museum kinda just felt like some rich guy's personal collection of artifacts the public shouldn't have had access to? Not a lot of labels explaining what you're looking at in any language.

Belgian chocolate is fine. Not bad, but I mean it's chocolate, that's hard to screw up, you know?

During my research before this trip I kept seeing a general consensus that Bruges is super touristy and sanitized and feels fake and that Ghent was better for a more "authentically" preserved medieval center. I'm glad I opted to go there instead because it exceeded my expectations. Awesome architecture everywhere you turn, way fewer crowds than I expected, and it still felt lived in by modern people rather than a giant open-air museum.

Literally did not see a single physical Euro at all on this trip. Both of these countries are entirely cashless societies, and everyone (both tourists and locals) used chip readers and contactless payment for damn near every interaction. If anything, I saw tons of "Card Only/No Cash" signs and none of the opposite.

[diorkyeom]

: : angel.

joshua x dokyeom, idolverse, fluff, pining, light angst, heavy blond!dk appreciation ft. joshuas strange couch

2.2k+ words, no warnings

also on ao3 | listen i never expected to love blond!dk as much as i do but he's gorgeous and deserves a fic about him. also pining whipped shua ftw 😽😽

summary: “angel,” joshua murmured. “angel, seokmin. you look like an angel.” seokmin's eyelashes fluttered, beating softly like feathered wings. - or seokmin turns up at joshua's doorstep at 2:47am. and of course, there's no way that joshua would ever be able to turn him away.

At 2:47am, someone came knocking on Joshua's door. 

He was unfazed by it, though, and simply lifted his head up from where he'd been lying in bed before making his way across his apartment, turning on the hallway light and unlocking the door with a smile. 

“Seokmin,” he greeted the younger man as he stood there at his doorstep, after having received the almost timid hyung, are you up? text from him all of 15 minutes ago. 

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin greeted back, though he blinked owlishly, as if he were surprised that Joshua was awake. 

Like he hadn't been the one to message him at almost three o'clock in the morning, Joshua thought, a touch of fondness in his smile. He didn't say anything else, though, and just stepped aside and beckoned him in.

Seokmin obeyed willingly, taking off his shoes and stepping into the hallway. His eyes were still wide, almost nervous, and he wrung his hands together as he took another hesitant step in Joshua’s direction. Joshua hadn’t moved, continuing to just smile openly at Seokmin, patient, simply waiting for the younger to explain what he wanted.

He'd always wait for Seokmin. He'd wait, and then give him anything at all, so long as it made Seokmin happy. 

After a moment, Seokmin stepped even closer and hugged him.

His arms wrapped tightly around Joshua’s shoulders, pulling him in so suddenly that Joshua let out a small “oh!” in surprise, before the sound melted into a fond chuckle as he let Seokmin burrow into his neck, wrapping his arms around the younger to hug him back.

“Did you miss me that much?” he teased, but he couldn't help the way the ends of his words softened with fondness. “We were literally together at work the entire day today, Seokmin.”

Seokmin huffed, and Joshua could feel him pouting into his neck. 

“No, of course I didn't miss you,” he said, even as his voice was a little muffled, refusing to remove himself from where he'd latched onto Joshua. 

“Oh, you didn't?” Joshua asked, amused. Seokmin huffed again, the noise tapering into a small whine that Joshua, devastatingly, thought was rather adorable. He chuckled, but didn't push any further, letting Seokmin bury himself into his neck, arms wrapped around his frame. 

This wasn’t the first time Seokmin had texted him in the thin hours of the early morning, asking Joshua if he was awake and if, perhaps, if it wasn’t too much of a bother, Seokmin could come round to say hi. Seokmin did it with all of them, especially as of late: he’d been having trouble sleeping, for reasons that he appeared to have only shared with Jeonghan. And whilst Joshua was concerned about Seokmin's recent bouts of insomnia, he didn't mind too much that Seokmin hadn't confided in him about the reason. Joshua was just grateful that Seokmin trusted him enough to come to him during these kinds of nights.

“Did you manage to sleep at all?” Joshua questioned softly, and Seokmin shook his head. He hummed. “Alright. Come on, then, let’s get you inside.”

He gently peeled Seokmin away from him, gently coaxing him further into the apartment so they could find somewhere that’d be more comfortable than just standing in his cold-floored hallway. They couldn’t make it all the way to Joshua’s bed as he’d originally intended, though, since after Seokmin whined a few times they ended up in the living room instead, which was only a few steps away from the door.

But at least, here, they could sit down, and Seokmin could cling to Joshua as much as he wanted.

Seokmin didn't come to Joshua during all of his sleepless nights, but he came often enough that he roughly knew what it was he'd come for, and what he wanted Joshua to do.

When Seokmin was in these moods—shy, nervous, meltingly soft and just a touch sleep-deprived—he became devastatingly clingy, all sprawling limbs as he seemed to want to try and smother Joshua, fingernails scraping uncomfortably against the bouclé texture of his cream coloured sofa as he adjusted himself against him. Joshua just let him, let Seokmin do whatever he needed to do, saying nothing other than humming contentedly when he finally settled down.

Seokmin’s head ended up on Joshua’s shoulder, arm wrapped around his front, legs thrown over his so that he was practically in Joshua’s lap, their legs tangling together. He could feel every inhale and exhale that Seokmin took. 

Hopefully, Seokmin couldn’t hear Joshua’s heart thumping unusually hard in his chest.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s really wrong?” Joshua asked, gentle, once Seokmin had gotten himself comfortably draped over him. The room was dark, save for the feeble yellow light spilling in from the hallway, but Joshua didn’t want to dislodge Seokmin for something as insignificant as being able to see properly. He could still see Seokmin, anyways, and that was enough. “Why did you message me at three in the morning, hm?”

Pressing his face into Joshua’s shoulder, Seokmin didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“...I just wanted a hug.”

It was always the same five words, with Seokmin apparently not wanting to go further into why he was really here. But Joshua didn’t mind. He never minded, not so long as Seokmin still came to him anyway.

He hummed softly. “That’s okay.”

Seokmin squeezed him tighter, and then relaxed.

Neither of them had breathed a word. They didn’t need to. Seokmin liked talking, liked telling stories and cracking silly jokes that made people laugh, and Joshua liked listening to every single one. He liked hearing him talk in that way, and liked that Seokmin also liked to talk, but that was only during the day. 

Seokmin didn't message Joshua in the middle of the night to talk. 

With one hand still massaging circles into Seokmin’s upper arm, Joshua patted Seokmin’s hair almost absentmindedly, running his fingers through the strands, and Seokmin made an involuntary noise, a shiver running through him. Joshua chuckled at his reaction, and Seokmin huffed, but still leaned back against Joshua’s hand to encourage the fingers in his hair.

Seokmin had dyed his hair recently, both for their new album and their new concert tour, and whilst Joshua hadn't been the biggest fan of the blond colour at first, he had to admit that it was growing on him. Especially when he was like this, with his soft, pale hair fanned out all around him, the white gold fringe moving with every blink that Seokmin took. The dimness of the room coupled with the pale warmth of his hair made him look like some sort of magical, mystical being. 

“Angel,” Joshua murmured to himself, but with the way Seokmin was pressed up against him, there was no way he couldn't hear. “Angel, Seokmin. You look like an angel.”

Seokmin's eyelashes fluttered, beating softly like feathered wings. “Hyung…”

He looked up at Joshua, brown eyes swirling with grains of gold. Beautiful, was Joshua's instant thought. And then he stopped thinking, tilting Seokmin’s chin upwards, thumbing at his cheekbone.

“You're the loveliest angel of all,” Joshua said, far too sincerely, but oh well. 2am Seokmin liked hearing these sincere things, and Joshua was never really in a position to deny him. “You’re beautiful, Seokmin-ah. Did you know that? Hyung thinks you’re the prettiest person in the universe.”

Seokmin flushed, and in the dim light, Joshua wouldn’t have been able to tell if he couldn’t feel it under his fingertips as Seokmin’s cheeks warmed.

“Shua hyung’s really pretty too,” Seokmin whispered, and goodness, Joshua’s heart felt like it could burst.

“I know,” he said, instead, and smiled as Seokmin let out a short, breathy laugh. Seokmin’s hair was a glowing halo around him, making his eyes shine. “I am really pretty.”

Seokmin laughed again, and Joshua's heart felt light. 

No one said anything else for a while after that. Joshua let Seokmin be, let him stay as quiet as he needed until the voices in his head finally died down and allowed him to think clearly once more. He just threaded his fingers through Seokmin’s pale gold hair, traced slow circles along his upper arm and allowed himself to be buried in this hug as Seokmin’s head lolled peacefully on his shoulder.

Noticing the way that Seokmin’s breathing had slowed down to peaceful, drowsy exhales, Joshua looked down at him, wondering whether Seokmin had drifted off already. 

But no, he wasn’t asleep yet, and Seokmin blinked up at him through shadowy lashes, mumbling something unintelligible. Joshua just smiled. Despite having a heart softer than the softest pools of golden light, Seokmin was rarely this gentle and still, and he cherished those moments when he could hold him like this, and not fear when his rays would slip through his fingers once more.

Joshua would never want to pin him down, though. 

Seokmin deserved to be free, and Joshua was content with being Seokmin’s safe place, his refuge, the horizon line that he could sink down into after a busy day of brightening everyone else’s lives.

“Stay with me tonight?” Joshua murmured, carding his hand through Seokmin’s hair again, letting the glowing strands feather out as they were slowly released. 

Seokmin shook his head, a rustle of movement against Joshua’s clothes. “Can’t,” he whispered back, then his face scrunched up into a yawn. “Need to wake up early tomorrow, and I don’t wanna disturb hyung’s sleep.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Stay as long as you need,” Joshua assured him, but despite the way his heart clenched, he wasn’t surprised by Seokmin’s answer. He rarely agreed, but Joshua always offered just in case this time, he’d say yes. 

Besides, Seokmin always ended up accidentally staying over anyways.

“I’ll go in fifteen minutes,” Seokmin murmured, but he burrowed himself further into Joshua’s embrace, fingers curling into the fabric of Joshua’s shirt. 

Joshua hummed, leaning back against the couch, going back to threading his fingers through the pale embroidery of Seokmin’s hair, silent. Seokmin was warm against him, a warm and steady presence, like some sort of endearing weighted blanket that made little contented noises every time Joshua scratched his fingers against his scalp in a pleasing way. It made him chuckle silently, pressing into the same spot again and again until Seokmin was so utterly relaxed that he was practically melting into him.

It only took Seokmin seven minutes to fall asleep. Joshua counted; he watched the hands of the clock in the living room as the minutes ticked by, and could pinpoint the exact moment Seokmin relaxed so fully that he couldn’t be anything but asleep.

As Seokmin dozed on his shoulder, though, Joshua couldn’t help but stay there for a few minutes longer, until ten extra minutes had passed and Seokmin continued to sleep peacefully against him. He wanted to keep this scene in his hands for just a few extra moments, with Seokmin resting against him, his hair an angel’s halo, his fingers curled almost protectively into Joshua’s shirt.

Like this, Joshua could almost pretend that Seokmin was his.

But it was, of course, only pretend, and so Joshua eventually shifted them both, gently untangling their legs so he could get a hand under Seokmin’s, the other hand supporting Seokmin’s back as he lifted him up.

“Come on,” he said softly, even though Seokmin couldn’t hear him. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Joshua wasn’t going to wake him up, of course. He may have fallen asleep surprisingly fast whilst all curled up against Joshua, but he didn’t know if Seokmin would be able to go back to sleep again if he was awoken once again. And so Joshua carried him out of the living room and into his own room, setting Seokmin gently down onto the bedding.

He made a quiet noise in his sleep as he was laid down, but Joshua made his own soothing noises in response, and soon Seokmin was happily curled under his covers, his hair now looking ivory-white in the darkness of the room.

“Angel,” Joshua said to himself with a smile on his face, for the second time that night.

This time, though, Seokmin really wouldn’t be able to hear, and Joshua thought it was better this way. The word had come out even more fond than last time, and he didn’t want to risk Seokmin knowing just how fond Joshua was of him.

Joshua stepped back, and quietly exited the room, prepared to spend the night on his own couch. Seokmin needed the bed more, anyways.

In the morning, Seokmin would come padding into the living room, rubbing his eyes and whining about how he didn’t mean to force Joshua out of his own bed and how Joshua really should have woken him up. Joshua would shake his head, smiling, say it was no big deal, and then offer to make Seokmin breakfast before he left.

Seokmin would still look like an angel, pale blond hair all messed up, and Joshua would still think he looked absolutely beautiful, and it would take everything in him not to say that out loud.

But Joshua would deal with that later. 

As he listened to his heart beating hollowly in his chest, he wondered whether Seokmin knew he held Joshua’s very soul in those golden-glowing hands.

taglist (send ask if you wanna be added/removed!): @my-moarmy-heart @weird-bookworm @bangantokchy @bittersweet-folder @leigh-darling @ahuiahoe

[elronds-meleth-nin]

Randir

I actually started writing this before Season 2 came out, but something like half of it was inspired after Season 2 began. Idk. Brain said 'smooch the Uruk' so here we are. 🤷‍♀️ I might write a follow-up with the actual smut, but for now, I hope you all enjoy this!

Randir = Wanderer (Sindarin)

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Adar (RoP) x Reader

[A/N: This has innuendo and implied smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Caring for an injury, hurt/comfort (physical), mentions of blood, mentions of injuries but nothing too graphic, attraction at first side, Uruk/Human relationship, Uruk/Human romance, Uruk/Human sex (eventually), interspecies sex, kissing, Adar in a bath (yes it's a warning because holy hell that thought is so sexy), slightly dom!Adar, she falls for him hard, he loves her like a moth loves a flame, soft!Adar, angst with a happy ending, implied smut, implied interspecies sex, implied Uruk/Human sex, nudity, literal sleeping together.

~*~

He came out of the woods limping and obviously injured just as I was removing one of my shifts from the clothesline. Looking bedraggled, with matted hair and a cloak that appeared mere moments from unraveling, the Ellon with scars on his face stumbled into my yard and collapsed amongst the wildflowers.

Dropping my laundry without a thought, I gathered my skirt and ran over to him. He was barely conscious when I dropped to my knees.

"Can you understand me?" I asked as I fumbled with the breastplate of his heavily worn armor.

"Yes...my lady," he breathed. The gentle rasp of his voice was surprisingly pleasant, but I couldn't focus on that. I had to find where he was bleeding. Nearly his whole side was soaked in it.

"I'm not going to harm you. Can you tell me where you're hurt?" His hand met my arm, touching me gently, drawing my gaze to the point of contact between us then up to his eyes. Valar, they were a beautiful shade of green!

"My...left side...and my right thigh," he answered, but instead of letting his hand fall away, he reached farther up, touching my cheek.

"You'll be alright," I murmured, wanting to comfort him. He looked up at me as if I was a light shining in the hopelessness of the dark, somehow looking peaceful even as his eyelids fluttered dangerously toward unconsciousness.

"Yes...I'm certain that I will...with you...t-to care for me," he managed between labored breaths as a small smile stretched his lips. "Thank you...my lady."

His hand fell away as he passed out, and a sense of renewed urgency rushed through me as I worked to staunch his wounds. His blood was incredibly dark - nearly black - but I could find no evidence of poison. How curious!

No matter the color of his blood, he'd already lost so much of it. I had to tend to his injuries. With a bit of elbow grease, I managed to get him into the house and onto my bed. As my language was coarser during that process than would be considered ladylike, I was rather grateful that my patient wasn't awake to hear it. Once he was free of his armor and blood-soaked clothing, I cleaned his wounds and bandaged them more securely.

For long hours, he did not wake. The slash across his side had not been terribly deep, but it did bleed more heavily than I would've preferred. Embedded in his leg was the broken-off tip of an arrow. Removing that had been the most difficult and nerve-wracking part.

That night as I snuffed all but a few candles and settled in to keep vigil over my injured guest, I took a moment to observe his face. His wounds had already partially healed - the wonders of Elven physiology, I assumed - and the salve I'd applied beneath his bandages would help them heal the rest of the way without scarring.

But his face...he was gorgeous. Clearly, he'd been the subject of either torture or a terrible accident. Scars of all sorts covered his body, reaching all the way up to his face. The poor man. I had no idea what he'd been through, but he deserved a measure of gentleness. Earlier, after binding his wounds, I'd gently cleaned the grime from his skin to the best of my ability and dressed him in a clean set of clothes. I was glad I did.

He was beautiful.

His chest rose and fell at a steady rate, suggesting sleep rather than a complication from his injuries. His pulse was, by then, hale and hearty, so without too much worry, I settled in at his bedside to keep watch over him.

Eventually, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulled me quietly to sleep.

--

"Am I dead?" The quiet rasp of his voice drew me out of my half-doze. Lifting my head from the edge of the bed against the protests of my stiff neck, I found those green eyes open again and fixed upon me. His gaze seemed clearer.

"No, sir, you're not." My voice came out a bit rougher than I anticipated from sleep. "You're in my home and quite alive."

The slow, gentle flex of muscle in my grasp made me glance down, and I realized with a sleepy blink that I was holding his hand. When had I gotten the courage to do that? Had I done it in my sleep? His long, obviously strong fingers squeezed mine so gently that when I looked back up at him, I couldn't fight the little grin that tugged at my mouth.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as my thumb absently skimmed over the backs of his knuckles. He drew in a deep breath and winced at the tail end of it.

"Not perhaps my best, but much better than before," he murmured. "May I ask the name of my savior?"

I answered, and he repeated the word slowly, allowing the syllables to roll around in his mouth as if savoring their taste. My own name had never sounded so good.

"And you? What do you prefer to be called?" I asked as I lifted the hem of his borrowed shirt and checked the dressing on his side. The light, white fabric was thankfully loose enough around his torso that I was able to do so without disturbing his wound.

"My real name has been lost to time. To most I am known simply as Adar," he answered, and it hit me then how old he might be. He was an Ellon, of course. It was entirely possible that he was hundreds of years old.

"Adar." Repeating his name as carefully as he had mine, I was treated to another charming little smile from my patient. "Well, Adar, you appear to be healing quickly, though, from what I've heard about your people, that's not uncommon. You should be able to get up and move around come the morning."

The dark-haired Ellon shook his head.

"The credit lies with you. Had you not found me, I could well be dead. I owe you my life." As he spoke, he still made no effort to remove his hand from my grasp.

I was not disappointed by the prolonged contact.

Struggling to distract him from how obviously I must be blushing from his gratitude, I addressed some concerns that I would've had myself if I'd been in his position.

"Just so you know, I had to undress you to treat your injuries, and as your clothes were soiled rather completely, I've dressed you in a clean shirt and pants. Your own clothes have been washed and are drying on the line," I said gesturing vaguely toward the window. "The rest of your possessions are on the table just to your side, and I did clean your armor. Although, I didn't want to risk using the wrong polish, since I couldn't tell what sort of materia–"

Silencing me by pressing a few of his fingertips against my lips, Adar breathed my name. I looked at him wide-eyed.

"You have no need to explain yourself. You could have allowed me to die, but instead you chose to help me. I have seen many types of people since the birth of the world, and you are not the sort who would rob me while I was lying vulnerable in your home," he said as his fingers slid down my chin, then descended the column of my throat to the dip between my collarbones.

I barely suppressed a shiver at his tone - whether pleasure or unease, I couldn't tell. Then, his eyes dropped to my lips, and I settled firmly on pleasure.

"Since the birth of the world?" I asked quietly, and he nodded his head. "But...that would make you thousands of years old...?"

"Does that surprise you?"

My eyebrows shot upwards.

"A mortal woman caring for a being who has lived through entire ages? Certainly not. It happens every fortnight." The playful sarcasm slipped out before I could stop it, but instead of being offended by my casual impertinence, my patient let out a rough huff of laughter.

"As vain as it sounds, it pleases me that you are. Perhaps I don't appear as ancient and broken as I feel," Adar said as his fingers squeezed mine lightly.

"Had I not known, I would've assumed that you were no more than a century old," I teased, and he grinned up at me.

"Ah, now you are deep within the realm of falsehoods, my lady. Do not sully your integrity attempting to placate a relic's ego," he muttered, but beneath his teasing words, a lingering sort of sadness filled his eyes. "I am not worth any dimming of your own light."

Without thought, I reached up and brushed a few strands of hair behind his pretty, pointed ear.

"I speak only the truth. Now, let me get you some water, and then you will require more rest."

"I dare not argue with my healer's wishes," he murmured as I got to my feet. Just before I turned away, I saw him clench his newly-released hand a couple of times. Assuming I'd held it long enough for the muscles to stiffen up, I made a mental note not to do so again.

As he faded in and out of sleep, I went about my day, tackling minor chores and tasks, checking on Adar every so often to see if he needed anything. Eventually, after I fetched his clothing from the line, I found him lying awake in bed late in the evening, watching me as I puttered around.

"How are you feeling, Adar?" I asked taking a seat beside him, and when he looked over at me, he seemed much more alert than before.

"I feel almost whole, my lady, thanks to your tender care," he answered, and as I carefully lifted his shirt to check his newest dressing, he continued. "May I ask something...of a rather personal nature?"

Giving him the go-ahead, I looked up just in time to see him eyeing me with a contemplative expression.

"You appear to live alone, yet this shirt seems to have been made for a man. Is...your husband away? In my current state, I do not think I could defend myself against an irate spouse."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"I have no partner, Adar. These clothes are my brother's. He left a few sets here for those rare occasions when he deigns to visit," I explained, and a look of surprise crossed his features. "He despises carrying more travel bags than is absolutely necessary, so having a small stash of spare clothes here suits him."

Was he relieved by my answer, or was that my imagination at work in the dim candlelight?

"My apologies for prying," he murmured, but I just shook my head.

"You may ask me anything you wish without guilt," I assured, laying a hand gently atop his chest. His eyes flicked between my hand and my face as if he was warring with himself over something. "What is it?"

Still, the Elf hesitated before speaking up.

"Have you a stream nearby or perhaps a lake? Any body of water will do, really. I feel as though I am covered in half a countryside's worth of dirt," Adar said with a sheepish smile. "I do not wish to dirty your brother's clothes more than necessary."

"Clothing can be washed. As for yourself, well," I began getting to my feet, "I think we can do much better than a cold stream, don't you?"

--

With the practiced ease of someone who'd done this alone hundreds of times, I heated water for my patient's almost-bath. I could not fill the tub completely for fear of reopening his wounds, but I was able to put in just enough that we'd be able to help him slough the dirt off of his skin. His bleeding had stopped the night before shortly after I'd bandaged him, so I didn't see any harm in him soaking for a short while, as long as I could keep an eye on his injuries.

I would, of course, have to help him, otherwise we would run the risk of his injuries opening themselves once more, but it could be done. My patient certainly wasn't too proud too accept help when he needed it. I bore much of his weight as I helped him over to the partially-filled tub.

Together, we made quick work of the task, but I couldn't keep from my mind thoughts of what terrible things he must've been through to accrue such an array of injuries. As I carefully scrubbed the parts of his back which he could not reach, I went a bit slower than was necessary, taking the time simply to observe him.

Each raised ridge and callused swirl spoke of cruelty beyond comprehension. Who could've done something like that to one of the Elves? They were among the strongest people in all of Middle Earth. Certainly no dwarf or man was capable of this. A wizard perhaps? Or something else with abilities beyond those of mortals?

"I sense a question brewing," Adar rasped, and though he could not see my face from that angle, I feared he would feel the heat radiating from my blushing cheeks. "You should know that the courtesy which you extended to me earlier is mutual. You may ask me anything you wish."

Biting my lip as I wrung out the rag and picked up a pitcher of warm, clean water, I let the silence float between us. As the water sluiced soap and dirt from his back, I reminded myself that it was not my place to ask about the scars beneath. If he wished to speak about it he would, but I longed to ask him who'd done this to him so I could do something about it.

"It...is not a question, so much as..." I trailed off as I searched for the right words. "It is impertinent for me to say, and I do hope you'll forgive me. If your scars hurt you, I have a salve that'll ease the ache."

Adar turned very carefully and looked at me.

"My dear lady, it is abundantly clear to me that we have very different ideas about what constitutes impertinence," he murmured as his lips quirked into a small smile. "As kind as your offer is, however, these wounds are so ancient that even a salve made by the most famed healers in all of Elvendom could not hope to affect them. I do not wish to waste your resources in such a futile exercise, but you do have my most sincere gratitude for taking the time to consider such a course of action."

I was struck by his tone. It almost sounded as though that was a new experience for him...as if people did not often think of such things in regard to him. Did he not have anyone to care for him or think of such things?

"Is there anything that I can do to make you more comfortable?" I asked, and my Ellon guest gave me an incredulous look.

"You have opened your home to me, treated my wounds, fed me, and clothed me. Truly, I cannot ask anything more of you."

Beginning to massage soap into his scalp, I lowered my voice further.

"You can ask anything of me that you wish." That was an admission I ought not make, but I could not restrain it.

Within moments, I had helped my guest rinse his hair and dry off, and I'd only stolen one glance - alright, maybe two - at his rather gorgeous physique. Scarred, he might be, but Adar was still lean, muscular, and utterly beautiful. No wonder Elves were rumored to enchant mortals across the ages. Even after as much untold pain as this Ellon had experienced, he was still kind and attractive, with a voice that made my heart race.

Late into the night we spoke, he reclining in bed, and I seated beside him in the chair I'd dragged over the night before. We talked of everything and nothing. For his part, Adar looked healthier than I'd yet seen him, and at his final bandage change before bed, I was pleased to note that his injuries were well on their way to being healed.

Adar was kind enough to indulge me when I asked about his own life, recounting a few tales from several millennia ago. Just imagining him joyful and untroubled, reclining in the noonday sun brought a smile to my lips. He was handsome as I'd seen him, but my mind's eye conjured him in more traditional Elven clothing - sumptuous silks that clung to his figure and fluttered in the wind - and my cheeks heated.

My thoughts must've been written more clearly on my features than I'd anticipated, because Adar skimmed the backs of his knuckles down my cheek.

"You would have fitted that time to perfection. All was gentleness and light, and the world was awash in beauty," he murmured as his expression flitted to one of nostalgia and a hint of longing. "I hope you'll pardon me if this is too forward, but when you came to my aid, I believed I was beyond help, but I realized that I could make peace with my end if your face was the last I ever saw. Your beauty reminded me of all I had seen in those early years of the world...you took my fear and replaced it with contentment. None before you have been able to do that."

Unable to find anything even remotely adequate to say in response to such a sweet sentiment, I grasped his free hand and blinked back the tears his words had inspired.

"You are much too generous with your praise, sir," I stammered, and Adar shook his head.

"I do not know why you insist upon minimizing your virtues, but I wish it to be known that I am speaking the truth." His fingers squeezed mine carefully. "You complimented me before. It seems only fair that I be allowed to do the same, especially since neither of us were telling falsehoods."

To that, there was no rebuttal. Eventually, we fell back into a rhythm of give and take. Before I knew it, Adar's eyes had fluttered shut, and so had mine.

--

As the morning's first light streamed in, I blinked slowly awake and found myself entranced. Adar stood at the foot of the bed inspecting his injuries, his borrowed shirt laid neatly atop the quilt behind him. His torso, riddled with scars and signs of past injuries, seemed even more lovely in the light of day, and the Ellon did not seem weakened by his experiences. Surely, I had no reason to be ashamed of looking?

I must have made some sort of small sound, or perhaps my breathing changed enough to draw his attention, for within a moment, I found him smiling over at me and stopping my breath in my throat.

"You have a great deal of medicinal skill, my lady. I doubt these will leave a scar," Adar praised as he took a few slow steps toward me. Lifting one of my hands in his grasp, he guided my fingertips to press gently against the raised, reddish line that used to be the injury upon his side. Elves truly did heal more quickly than any mortal could. "One less scar is a welcome change, as you can undoubtedly see."

His hand didn't release mine, nor did his gaze stray from my face. My tongue seemed to have deserted me along with my good sense. I couldn't stop staring at him. Eventually, he grasped my chin and lifted it, forcing me to look into his clear, green eyes.

"I believed that I had imagined it last night...your desire. I thought it a residual component of my delirium or a symptom of my exhaustion," Adar breathed in that beautiful, raspy voice of his. Had I truly been that obvious? "After all, why should you crave the darkness when you are so obviously a creature of the light?"

"You are not as dark as you might believe," I muttered, and he smirked as his fingers slid from my chin to my jaw, grasping me a bit tighter. Leaning down so that his lips brushed the shell of my ear, he lowered his voice to a whisper.

"If you could hear my thoughts and see my desires, dear lady, you would not say such a thing." If that was meant to be a warning, my mind did not take it as such.

"Mine are no more innocent," I admitted, against my better judgment. There was something irresistible about the Ellon towering above me. He stepped closer, tilting my head up with his hold on my jaw, and when his lips met mine, I surrendered myself to him. Perhaps I was a fool to do so, after all, we'd only known each other for a matter of days.

And yet...there was something about him that just...fit. In my home, in my life, and in my heart - in every way possible, Adar filled a void of which I had not even aware. His heart, scarred and filled with self-loathing as it was, called to mine in a way I'd never experienced before. Being around him was effortless and pleasurable. I'd grown accustomed to hearing his voice and catching his eye as I puttered around my house.

This new intimacy felt right. At least, that is how I justified it to myself when his tongue brushed mine and I moaned into his mouth. A low, hungry sound mirrored my own, but Adar pulled away after a long moment. I couldn't seem to form coherent thoughts in the wake of his passionate demonstration.

"Forgive me," he breathed, but he didn't sound particularly remorseful. Removing his hands with a great show of reluctance, Adar redressed. I ought to have moved closer and kissed him again, but I was simply stunned by the sheer strength of my body's reaction to him. I wanted to throw myself to the ground before him and plead for him to take me. As unladylike as that was, the urge was nearly overwhelming.

I didn't remember getting to my feet, but after a moment, I found myself topping up my horse's food and water in the stable. Her sable hair gleamed in the light as I began to brush her. She'd been my brother's horse, but he'd given her to me when the father of his betrothed helped him acquire a rather beautiful black stallion. So, Míra - for that was her name - had become a rather good friend of mine over the years.

"He kissed me, Míra," I whispered to her as if it was a secret. The only person who could possibly overhear me was my guest, and given that he knew rather intimately what we'd done, I doubted he'd care if I told my horse. He might think me strange, but given the relationship between Elves and nature, I doubted that he would.

For a few quiet minutes, it was just me and Mira, but soon a shadow stretched from the doorway into the stable.

"Míra rocco," Adar said as he walked slowly toward us. I blinked at him in surprise.

"How did you know her name was Míra?" I asked, and he looked at me with a lopsided smile.

"I did not, my lady. I intended no more than to compliment your pretty steed, but it seems her name is one. You see, 'míra' means beautiful in one of the forms of the Elvish language," he explained, and I let out a huff of laughter. No wonder Elrond always seemed so amused by her name!

Adar turned his gaze back to my mare, murmuring her name amongst a string of other Elvish words. Typically, she was shy around strangers, backing off or huffing and stamping until they backed off or I calmed her, but she let Adar caress the side of her head immediately. Apparently, she trusted him just as much as I did, despite the short duration of our acquaintance.

"It would seem my brother chose well, then," I said as I watched Adar lift a handful of her feed from the barrel where I stored it.

"Indeed, he did." After a few more moments of bonding between Míra and her new bosom companion, Adar faced me with what looked like determination flashing in his eyes.

"I apologize for interrupting, but I wish to pay you back for your kindness," he began, and as I opened my mouth to protest, he held up a hand to stop me. "I know that you will likely say that no such thing is necessary, however, I would be a poor patient, indeed, if I did not at least attempt to show y gratitude. Give me something to do. Chores, tasks you would rather avoid, anything at all. If you are worried about my injuries, I assure you, they are sufficiently healed for all but a sword fight."

I thought for a moment, and grabbed a few tools from their place inside.

"There are a few short log rounds that need to be split for the hearth," I began, "but if you feel that would be too hard for right now, I could give you something else to do. I do not want you reopening either of those wounds."

Looking at me with a mixture of mischief and pride, Adar took only the axe from my hand, not my makeshift splitting wedge or hammer.

"I could fell whole trees for you and expend no more effort than you did brushing Míra." I didn't know if I believed that, even if the Elves were stronger than mortals.

"Do not overexert yourself. I would hate to have to drag you into the house unconscious for a second time," I ordered with no real venom behind my words. In truth, I was just happy to have him by my side.

He placed a gentle kiss upon my brow and walked out of the stable. I was so overcome by the tenderness of his gesture that I took a long moment to lean against the wall and savor the feeling before returning to my own long list of chores. Most of the ones I'd put off were inside the stable, so I had no reason to step outside.

By the time everything was finished, I headed inside, thinking that Adar must be resting after having split the wood. After all, he was still regaining his strength. Surely, he was exhausted after such hard work. But, when I walked inside, he was nowhere to be seen.

"Adar?" There was no answer to my call. The sound of my voice carried through the house in the way only an empty space could manage. My gaze fell to the table where a small, purple bundle lay.

It was a bouquet of little, purple flowers tied with simple twine. Sage blossoms, presumably from the stream near my home. When had he gone to the stream? Beside them was a note written on a piece of parchment.

'My lady,' it read, 'I beg your forgiveness for my abrupt departure. I am incredibly grateful for your kind ministrations over the last few days. You wished me to have a more rest, but I fear in must move on. My absence will undoubtedly return some semblance of peace to your life. With all my heart, I wish you every joy this world can bring. Thank you for giving me the blessing of looking upon your light. It will shine all the clearer for the lack of my darkness. You will be safer for it, and the acknowledgment of that fact appeases my own aching heart, somewhat. Forgive me, my sweet lady. Your kisses will ever fill my dreams. Sincerely yours, Adar.'

I dropped into one of the chairs beside the table as loss clawed at me from the inside out. He'd left. He'd...actually left. Beyond the letter, he had not even said 'goodbye.'

Hoping against hope, I looked around my home, both inside and out, but instead of Adar, I found enough chopped wood to fill the box near the door, the rotten beam in my fence replaced with a sound one, and the clothes I'd lent him hanging on the line to dry after being washed.

He must have worked quickly to do all of that without attracting my notice, and I had not even asked him to repair the fence or wash the clothing.

Darkness, indeed. Would a being of darkness truly take the time to wash a shirt and trousers in a cold stream and hang them to dry? I'd have thought they'd leave them in a crumpled heap on the floor, instead.

With a sniffle, I realized that I was being ridiculous. I'd known he would leave eventually. Nobody would want to be stuck in this lonely, out-of-the-way, little cottage for long. Even I had debated traipsing off to Rivendell and accepting Lord Elrond's invitation to stay for good. But, why would he leave so suddenly? Had I said something that offended him? And what was this darkness to which he kept alluding?

Lord Elrond! Of course! He might be able to answer my question or give me some insight into what was going on. I hoped he would not take offense to my showing up unannounced, but I had no choice. I needed answers.

Mere hours afterward, I had packed a small bag - including the flowers Adar had given me - mounted my horse, and departed for Rivendell.

For the entirety of the two day journey to Rivendell, I rode hard, taking breaks only long enough to avoid either my horse or myself collapsing. By the time I entered the Hidden Valley of Imladris, I must've looked as haggard as I felt.

Lindir strode down the steps into the courtyard just as I managed to pry myself from my saddle and land unsteadily on my feet.

"My lady, welcome to Imladris," he called, but concern colored his voice. "You seem in dire need of respite–"

"Thank you, Lindir, but I am afraid that I cannot rest until I have visited Lord Elrond's library," I stated trying to sound less exhausted than my shaky legs looked. "If you require his permission, I am more than happy to wait. Please convey to him my apologies for arriving unannounced, but it was unavoidable."

"And...what may I tell him is the reason for your visit?"

"Something odd occurred a few days ago," I began. "Normally, I would not trouble him, but this raised several questions...questions which I believe only the records kept here might be able to answer."

Lindir nodded his head despite his skepticism.

"Mellon-nin, you know I would not ask for this over a mere whim," I murmured looking into his eyes, and that was what seemingly convinced him.

"Very well, your horse will be tended to. You may, of course, proceed to the library while I convey this to Lord Elrond."

I waited only long enough to thank Lindir before rushing up the steps. I'd been to Imladris countless times, and on sunny, warm days like this, I knew it would be empty enough for this particular line of research to remain confidential.

Asking the library attendant where I might find information on old Elvish armor designs, I made a beeline for the section she indicated. A set of scrolls marked 'Second Age' caught my eye, and I pulled them down with care. Soon, I had a whole table full of scrolls laid out, and a note in the margin of the oldest I'd pulled made mention of older designs incorporating natural patterns such as rivers and mountains.

...Had Adar been alive since the First Age? He did mention the 'birth of the world,' so...I supposed it was entirely possible that he had. Returning that set of scrolls to their rightful places, I searched the much smaller stack of early First Age scrolls. Many had been rewritten on fresh parchment several dozens of times over, but were in dire need of yet another fresh copy.

The second scroll I unfurled was where I found it: an illustration of several ancient armor styles, including the one with the same pattern that I'd copied down.

Dropping heavily into a seat, I read the notes on that style with shaky hands. Apparently, the pattern itself was conceived during an era called the 'Years of the Trees,' which was seemingly the earliest part of the First Age - Elvish year classifications always made my head spin.

The only problem was that all the descriptions I could find referred to gold, silver, and occasionally white armor. There were no references to dark versions. I supposed Adar's armor could've been discolored across the years, but given how consistent it was, that didn't seem likely.

Swearing under my breath, I opened the other two I'd picked up, but there were no further mentions of that which I sought.

"Mellon-nin?" My friend's voice tore me from my puzzlement, and at the sight of him, regal and serene, standing with a rather confused expression upon his lordly features, I nearly burst into tears. I hadn't meant to disturb him. I'd hoped to find the answers myself.

And if the dread weighing my stomach down like lead was any indication, I wasn't worthy to be trespassing upon his lands. Surely the lack of records about something like this had to be significant. Either this was nothing and I was being dramatic, or it was awful and absolutely meant to be forgotten. After all, it did not do to dwell upon darkness when one could live quite happily within the light.

"I-I'm sorry," I stammered as I got to my feet, and Elrond took a few steps closer, surprise flashing through his warm, gray eyes. "I did not intend to bother you. I would not have come here unless it was truly important."

His hands grasped my shoulders lightly, and the Lord of Rivendell smiled reassuringly at me.

"Peace, I know," he murmured, and I took a shuddering breath. "Now, Lindir said you had questions. Urgent ones, if I were to take a guess."

I nodded my head and tried to compose myself.

"I recently encountered this pattern. I've found records of it, but...I still have...concerns. Have you ever seen it before?" I asked handing him the scrap of parchment on which I'd copied down the engravings adorning Adar's armor. I'd drawn it initially because I liked how the pattern looked, but once I'd given his note more thought, I became curious about its origins. What could have been so dark that he did not wish to endanger me?

Taking it carefully from my hand, my friend nodded his head.

"Yes, this was often placed upon Elven clothing, armor, shields, and the like, but it has not been used in thousands of years," Elrond said looking from the page to me and back again. "I cannot imagine where you would have seen it, but it appears that you have located our records on the subject."

"I found information about the pattern, yes, but...well, I do not believe they are complete. This scroll here mentions gold, silver, and even white versions of armor with this engraving, but what about darker metals?" I asked, and this time his gaze snapped up to meet mine.

"Darker?" Laying the parchment upon the desk nearest us, he gestured for me to have a seat. "We use those three colors to symbolize Ilúvatar's light shining within us - the light of the Valar. For this pattern to appear in dark colors, especially black, it would make a mockery of that most sacred light, the way that Morgoth did when he created the first Orcs using Elves."

My heart nearly skipped a beat. Was that what he was?

"Can you tell me about that?" I nearly whispered, and he agreed.

"In the very beginning of the First Age, Morgoth stole several of the Elves - widely speculated to be of the Avari - and tortured them," he said, and my heart sank in my chest. Was that where he got all those scars? From a wrathful godlike entity? "Twisting and manipulating them, he created in them the first Orcs, the Moriondor - Uruks, they called themselves, though they still appeared very like the Elves. From them, he bred an army with which he intended to conquer Middle Earth."

In horror, I covered my mouth with my hand and felt tears burning the corners of my eyes at the thought of all that Adar had been through, assuming this was what he'd meant.

"Have you seen the armor that you described, mellon-nin?"

Unable to summon my voice, I nodded my head, and Elrond leaned closer, grasping my hands with his. Thankfully, he remained silent, allowing me to speak in my own time.

"It was engraved on a black breastplate that looked pitted and rough, aged beyond anything I'd seen before, but still well-maintained, all things considered." I paused for a moment, wondering how much I should tell him.

"Why the curiosity about armor, mellon? I have never known you to be interested in such things before," he wondered, and I looked up at him with tears gathering in my eyes. I intended to answer his question, truly, I did, but another escaped my tongue instead.

"How did you know?" I asked, and he blinked blankly. "With Celebrian, how did you know that she was the one?"

Elrond's eyebrows shot upward at the rapid shift in topics.

"It was a combination of things, I suppose. I felt at ease around her, conversation was effortless and enjoyable, but most of all, I did not feel as if I needed to hide any part of myself from her," he explained. "Though I am but Half-Elven, she did not treat me any differently than she did anyone else. She accepted me, flaws, differences, and all."

Acceptance. Could it be that simple?

Adar had not judged me for being mortal. He'd been equally surprised when I refused to listen to his self-deprecation, instead offering him genuine compliments. We conversed easily for hours during his short-lived convalescence, and every moment I was in his presence, it felt as though I was wrapped in a comforting hug.

He fit so perfectly into my life that it was frightening. Perhaps, after all that he'd been through, assuming that he was one of the Moriondor as Elrond had mentioned, it had frightened him. After thousands of years of pain and torture and violence, a gentle touch must be surprising. Perhaps, even a little unnerving.

But he'd left. He was gone, so there was very little chance that I would ever know for certain.

Lightly, Elrond grasped my chin, turning my head so that our gazes met.

"Why these questions, mellon-nin? Never before have I seen you so troubled," he murmured. Concern twined in his every word and glittered in his eyes. "Speak to me. Tell me what burden has weighted your soul so that I might help you carry it."

Fear and regret, pride, an odd sense of excitement, and dread rose in my throat, clawing at my tongue as I spoke, fighting with each other as I warred with my own heart.

"I have done something...made a choice which I cannot alter," I admitted in barely a whisper, "but even if I could, I do not believe that I would wish to."

My vision blurred beneath a veil of tears, and my sweet, worried friend pulled me into his arms. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed, even if that was an excuse to hide my face so that I could more readily confess to my actions. Elrond waited patiently, allowing me to choose whether or not to continue.

"I have saved a life," I breathed against the softness of his robe, beginning to relate the tale to the only person whom I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I could trust. By the time I spoke of the kiss, the note, and the flowers, I wept openly.

"Mellon-nin...oh, my dear friend," he cooed brushing away my tears tenderly and laying kisses upon my brow. "You have nothing about which to feel guilty. You saved an injured person's life without knowing who he was."

"But...but if he truly was one of those taken by Morgoth as you mentioned earlier, should I not feel some sense of...of shame that a being of darkness lives because of me?" I asked between sniffles. "Should I not feel guilt or remorse or fear or sadness? Why do I feel relieved? Why do I feel as glad as I would have if it had been your life in his stead that I had managed to preserve?"

Giving me a patient, affectionate smile, Elrond cupped my tear-stained cheeks and looked into my eyes.

"Saving a life is an act of compassion. What he chooses to do with the time you have gifted him is not your burden to bear. It matters not if his heart knew darkness, for he may yet choose to step into the light. Would you deny him that chance?" Mutely, I shook my head, and Elrond smiled. "None are truly lost until their last breath is spent."

I nodded my head, but something else nagged at me.

"I love him. Darkness or no, I feel for him as you did for Celebrian," I breathed. "Should I not be ashamed even about that?"

His arms gave me a gentle squeeze.

"We cannot control with whom we fall in love. What you can do, however, is listen to what your heart is trying to tell you. Love always has a reason for being, some lesson to teach us, even when it is found in the most unexpected places," Elrond murmured against the top of my head, and I took a deep breath.

"Then, I have realized that too late. His note sounded so...final. I doubt I will see him again," I said trying to pull myself together. "I am sorry, my lord, for troubling you over something so insignificant–"

"Hush," he ordered giving me a stern look. "It was important that you uncover those answers, and I am glad beyond measure to have helped you find them. If nothing else, you have learned that your compassion runs deeper than even I previously thought."

Getting to his feet, Elrond helped me return the scrolls to their rightful places. He knew I'd had a long journey, but despite how exhausted I was, my mind was too active for me to even consider sleep. Instead, my friend led me to his own chambers, poured me a cup of tea, and kept me company until my mind felt clear enough to venture toward the set of chambers that he reserved for my use. Admittedly, however, rest did not come easily.

--

I remained in Rivendell for three days, seeking some sort of peace over what had transpired. Sitting in meditation with Elrond in the mornings and trawling through Elvish poetry in the afternoons left me emotionally primed for an evening walk filled with thoughts too loud for my mind to contain.

Had he seen sights like this? Or, did Morgoth take him before places like Gondolin and Lindon existed? Had he been at peace, even once after he was stolen away? If he really was one of the Moriondor, why was he not with the Uruks now? They massed in Mordor, so...why was he here? Could he not find belonging with either race?

I'd posed some of those questions to my host, and he told me of one of the Moriondor he'd met on the field of battle in the Second Age. Fiercely loyal was he, but eventually, he was tricked and ousted by Sauron. His children, as that Moriondor called the Uruks, had betrayed him and chosen a new master, barely escaping with his life. None knew where he'd gone and most argued that he'd died of his wounds or his grief.

Something in that melancholy ending resonated within me. The sadness in his eyes, the surprise when I'd tried to care for him...was that why? Had been so used to caring for his children that he'd had nobody to care for him?

The day I left, Elrond met me in the stables.

"Mellon-nin, I doubt he would be a threat to you if your mystery lover returned, but if you ever need me, I am here," he said as I buckled my horse's saddle in place. "Truthfully, if he is the Moriondor I encountered, and if, as you say, he harbors even the smallest amount of affection for you, you might be safer than either of us realize."

I made some noncommittal sound, then mounted my horse, but Elrond grasped the pommel before I could depart.

"Do let me know if you marry him. I have always wanted to see you happily lovestruck," he said with a mischievous wink.

"He would need to return for that to even be a possibility, mellon," I muttered, trying very hard to stop my cheeks from heating up. Thanking him for all he'd done, I began my journey home at a much less frantic pace than before.

Once or twice when I stopped along the road to tend my horse, I thought I heard twigs snap in the woods, but I put it down to animals. There were many rabbits and deer in this part of the world. By the time I returned home two days later, I tended to my horse, tore my riding leathers off and practically fell into bed.

--

A small noise awoke me in the night. A second followed it from just outside my door. Grasping blearily for the dagger beneath my pillow, I slipped it from its sheath and slid as soundlessly as I could out of bed. In reality, I'd probably made quite a bit of noise, as I'd been awakened from sleep that I'd desperately needed. I nearly leapt out of my skin when a shout sounded from outside and was abruptly silenced and followed by a dull thud.

Quite suddenly, I was no longer tired.

Raising my dagger, I threw open the door and froze at the sight before me. The Ellon I'd nursed back to heath, who had left a week ago, was crouched not far from my door, covered in blood once more, illuminated by the first pink glow of the sunrise. Only, this time, the blood splattered across his armor, sword, and dotting his face, wasn't his. It belonged to the man lying motionless at his feet through whom he had run his sword. There was another body a few feet away with its head detached.

Fierce, green eyes met mine, and I lowered my arm.

"Adar?" After cleaning his sword on the dead man's shirt, he sheathed it and walked slowly toward the door. Lifting his now empty hands in surrender, he acted as though the sight of him covered in another mans blood would scare me away.

To be fair, it likely should have.

"My apologies for disturbing your rest, my lady," he called, stopping a handful of paces away from me. "These men intended to kill you and steal what valuables they could find."

A cool breeze curled around us, ruffling my nightgown and reminding me sharply of my state of dress.

"Come. Let me help you clean up," I said gesturing inside. He removed his muddy boots at the door before stepping over the threshold. With infinite care, he took a seat at my kitchen table.

As I set a candle before us, my heart pinched at the familiar feeling of him in my space. It still felt right to have him here, but...was he here because he wanted to be or because he felt some sort of obligation?

For long moments we were silent. Adar watched as I shuffled around grabbing a pitcher of water.

"They followed you...on the road," he stated as I fetched a cloth and a bowl. How could he possibly know that?

Unless...

"I presume your knowledge comes from having followed me yourself?"

"Indeed. Tell me, how was your stay in Imladris?" He asked as I filled a small basin with water. I paused mid-pour.

"It was quite helpful," I answered, and a small hum came from my guest.

"You surprise me, my lady," Adar murmured, "I expected you to deny it."

Carrying the cloth and bowl to the table, I looked at him curiously.

"Why should I deny it? Lord Elrond is my friend." I watched as he dipped the clean cloth into the water. "All I wanted was advice."

He let out a rough huff of laughter tinged with bitterness.

"How best to kill the Uruk who'd deceived you, perhaps?" His voice was deadly quiet, his eyes sharp and pain-laced. My heart thumped at the confirmation, but...I still couldn't muster any regret about loving him, even after he'd killed two people in my yard. "He and I have met upon the field of battle. Though it was in another Age, I still remember how many of my children I lost at the hands of Herald Elrond and his illustrious High King. Each of their names is seared into my mind as if it had been only yesterday. I imagine that the extermination techniques he passed to you were efficient and creative...?"

"I inquired about matters of the heart, actually. He's been married before. I haven't."

Adar looked surprised at that, but I held his gaze unwaveringly. My conversation with Elrond had given me a boost of confidence I sorely needed.

Taking the damp cloth carefully from his stunned fingers, I wiped the last of the nearly-dry blood from his cheeks, holding his head steady with my other hand.

"Thank you for saving me," I murmured, but I made the mistake of dropping my gaze to his lips before meeting his eyes again. I hadn't realized how close I was to him. At such close proximity, it was easy to see how his pupils dilated when he glanced at my mouth. Was he remembering the kiss like I was?

Once the last red drop had been removed from his skin, I set the cloth aside and took a chance. Slowly, giving him the chance to refuse me if he preferred, I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips. I kept it as chaste and brief as I could.

He remained stationary as if frozen in place, looking at me wide-eyed when I finally pulled back. My heart plummeted into my stomach at his expression.

"I apologize," I breathed, "I should not have taken such a libert–"

Adar grasped the back of my head and slanted his lips hungrily over mine. Melting into his grasp, I surrendered as easily to him as I had the first time he kissed me.

"I was a fool to leave you before," he breathed when he finally came up for air. "I will not make the same mistake again."

Like a man starving after a long period of fasting, Adar claimed my mouth once more, his movements both hungry and loving at the same time. My thoughts all faded away as I returned his affection, and my mind became a sieve only capable of focusing upon the points of contact between us. All else fell away.

"Your lips have haunted me," he admitted once we became desperate for breath. He skimmed the pads of his thumbs over the offending skin as gently as a morning breeze. "I was gone mere hours before I could no longer fight the urge to return. Every step, every breath that drew me farther from you made me feel as though I was being ripped apart from the inside out, so I turned back."

We'd likely missed each other by a matter of minutes, but I could not regret my time in Rivendell when it had been so valuable.

"When I found you gone, I berated myself for my cowardice and tracked your path," Adar explained as he leaned close enough that our noses just barely brushed against each other. His hands slid down my shoulders and my back, gathering the loose fabric of my nightgown in his grasp. "Even more foolish was I for suspecting that one as gentle as you would make such a sojourn for nefarious purposes. I owe you more apologies than breath will allow."

Grasping at the clasps of his armor, I smiled up at him and spoke in a much breathier voice than I'd anticipated.

"No matter. I'm quite sure you can make it up to me." His eyes flashed roguishly at my bravery, and as I began to remove his armor, his lips connected with my jaw. Nips and kisses seared a path down my skin as I managed to remove his armor. Adar lifted the hem of my nightgown slowly in his grasp, revealing my figure bit by bit to the fledgling sunrise and flickering candlelight.

Our hands moved faster, then, separating clothing from skin in a flurry of desperate fingers. We were both mostly nude when I found my curiosity spilling from my throat in a rough almost-whisper.

"If you thought I had gone to Rivendell to ask how best to kill you, why did you come back? Why did you save me?" With great self-control, Adar pulled his lips from my pulse where they had lingered and looked into my eyes with a mix of pain and devotion.

"Because...after all the millennia I have endured, if ever there was one person to bring upon me my destruction, though it would have pained me, I would have been honored for it to be you," he confessed, and the tears which had filled my eyes finally dripped down my cheeks. He kissed them away, but his words did not cease. "I would have accepted defeat from nobody else. If you were the one to plunge a knife into my back, I would still have drawn you close enough for mine lips to taste yours just once more before finally embracing my end."

Nearly delirious with desire and the potency of my own love for him, I shook my head.

"I would never hurt you–" I pleaded with him hoping that he would believe me, but his mouth slanted over mine again, swallowing my desperate protestations and stealing the breath from my lungs.

"I know," he whispered when he finally allowed me to regain my breath. Looking into my eyes as he soothed me, a tear dampened his own lashes. "Shh, I know you would not, meleth-nin."

When I threw my arms around him, burying my face against his shoulder, he embraced me without hesitation. With ease, he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed, sitting upon its edge whilst I clung to him. Readjusting myself in Adar's lap, I straddled him, settling my damp core against the tent in his trousers. His hands gripped my waist as he looked into my eyes.

By that point, we were beyond words, hands exploring one another as we each drank breath and sounds from the other. My hips gave an involuntary roll, but were stopped by his grip.

"I adore you," he began, "and I would love nothing more than to continue down this path. However, having followed you, I know that you have had very little sleep over the last few days."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he swallowed my words with a kiss. Damn, that was much too effective!

"I swear to you, I will lavish you in pleasure when you wake, but I fear that you could not take me now without dire consequences for your health." That was a damn bold claim, but before I could say so, a yawn betrayed me, and I was forced to recognize that he was right. "Come, let me hold you, and I will make you sing when you wake."

Reluctantly, I let him reposition me so that we could lie down together. Admittedly, that being held like that was so pleasant that I was out in moments, but not without hearing a string of words I didn't recognize. My last thought before I lost the fight with my eyelids was to wonder whether it was Black Speech.

I very much looked forward to waking up.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@asksizworld @bigblissandlove1 @gandalfthepimp @horta-in-charge @zoya-olenko

[doodleferp]

Cara and Miguel Starter Pack

So let me start from the beginning one last time. Once upon a time, Cara was yeeted into Earth-928 thanks to some fucky Lovecraftian nonsense from her fucky Lovecraftian dimension. After meeting Miguel, who was a baby Spider-Man back then, Cara was denied access back to her world thanks to some sibling disputes. She spun a little web of lies for Miguel’s then-fianceé Dana, and they took pity on her and decided to help her out. I’m pretty sure you know the rest. They moved her in with Dana, saved the city, humorously acclimated Cara to the city, buried Dana, got married to get Cara a green card, and ended up actually falling in love.

This works off of a timeline of events that I established myself and it's subject to change if more information from the films comes out. General consensus is that Miguel was born in 2070, so he was 29 when he got his powers IN 2099. But since he’s 35 in AtSV, that means about six years have passed since then.

Cara is five foot even. She’s a tiny little thing who has the love of a fucking giant. As the tall one, Miguel is often asked to help get things from places she can’t reach. But instead of grabbing the thing like a normal person, Miguel grabs Cara under her arms, lifts her up, and holds her up so she’s the perfect height to grab the thing herself. He does this everywhere. The apartment, the Spider Society, the grocery store, his office at Alchemax, etc.

Cara likes to wear a helmet instead of a mask because she’s being tossed around constantly and feels safer with that kind of head protection. Miguel, however, fucking hates the helmet and takes every opportunity to show Cara his Pepe Silvia board about why she should trade it out for the mask he made her. Cara will sit patiently through all of it, and then she’ll go “Would you like me to crack my head open?” And he shuts up for another week. (Oh, he also made her current suit all by himself.)

These two are like...so gossipy Mostly Miguel, but Cara indulges him a lot. Ofc they have those bedtime pillow talks where they're both reading or Miggy's on his laptop and they'll go on about something someone did that day. They'll be swinging through the city and talking shit about Internet drama or some dweeb from a restaurant. Miguel will hit her up on his lunch hour and give her all the Alchemax tea, complete with examining his nails like the mean popular girl from a Disney Channel Original Movie. If he thinks someone's eavesdropping, he'll start talking in really fast Spanish so they can't get what he's saying. Needless to say, Cara had to learn Spanish really fast just to keep up with him.

They both adore snuggling. Miguel is like Cara’s weighted blanket and she can’t sleep without him anymore because he just envelops her (Fig 1). He’ll spoon her, he’ll let her sleep on his chest and hold her there. He’ll do everything short of actually sleeping on top of her (Fig 2) and he does that at least once a month. However, he always wakes up at 4 AM to use the bathroom, and Cara always wakes up because she no longer has her big warm blanket man. Thankfully, she goes right back to sleep once he comes back to bed. It’s to the point where they have trouble sleeping without the other in the bed because Cara needs the weight on her and Miguel needs something to cuddle.

Since Cara and her sisters got some fucky eldritch nonsense going on with their blood, they…I guess a bit more compatible with other dimensions. They can’t travel between them at will, of course, but they don’t glitch because they got that interdimensional cosmic horror in em. When Miguel somehow starts monitoring the ItSV movie, he’s flabbergasted when he sees the other Spiders glitching and he goes to Cara like “these people are literally dying and it hasn’t been a week, how the shock did you survive SIX YEARS”.

Cara’s actually good at a lot of household chores, so she offers to help around the apartment when she isn’t working. And thanks to Spider nonsense, she can get really thorough with it. Miguel has come home multiple times to see her standing on the ceiling changing light bulbs or cleaning something on the ceiling. It saves him tons since he got to opt out of the building's cleaning service, but it still gives him a heart attack every now and then.

They have had long arguments about whether or not killing spiders counts as murder since they’re both half-spider. Cara scoops them up on a piece of paper and puts them out the window or something. Miguel just puts them out of their misery.

As I’m sure everyone reading this has deduced, these two are a very...hands-on couple. They have been banned from being in the Spider Society’s gym at the same time because of it. As in "when one of them goes in, the other is automatically locked out" kind of banned. Thank Peter B for that -- as in, genuinely thank him because he's saved a lot of minors from seeing a couple spider mutants getting freaky.

Not exactly shippy, but Miguel and Cara's sister Cadence do not get along. At all. They hate each other with a burning passion. Cadence is positive he's that archetypical dudebro who's going to drag Cara down, and Miguel is rightfully pissed that she's hostile to him for existing. Cara unfortunately has to get in the middle of them and keep things calm, and thankfully Miguel is willing to make an effort. Cadence is less than accommodating though, so the occasional cross-dimensional family visits are always interesting.

c. doodleferp, 2024. do not steal or repost.

[gaybaby2424]

HYPNOTIZED BY DADDY

I went to my dad’s house and I let myself in and yelled hey dad I’m here to hang out with you but he was nowhere even though his truck was here. I decided to sit on the couch and watch tv he’s probably on the toilet. When he finally came down from upstair he said I’m sorry son I didn’t realize you were here already. And I laughed and said shitting to hard he just laughed and sat next o me on the couch it was about 4:00 when he got up and ordered us a pepperoni pizza and 2 liter Pepsi and then sat back on the couch about 45 minutes later the pizza had arrived and we sat back on the couch and started shoving our faces. After we were done dad got up and asked if I wanted a beer I said of course he got up and got the beers and handed mine to me and we started drinking more and more and every beer I had it was like I was getting so drunk so fast which was weird cause usually I do t get drunk off of beers but I shrugged it off and thought he might have got a different beer. So we start talking and I started getting way too drunk and telling my dad I loved him so much and that I was so happy to be his baby boy and that I wished I lived with him instead of my mom and right after that with a evil smile on his face said I’m glad you feel that way son cause you’re gonna be my baby boy forever and live with me. Right after he said that I passed out. When I woke up I had the worst hangover ever but something else was different I was strapped to a crib with a huge tv screen above me and noticed I was wearing the thickest and fullest baby diapers I’ve ever seen I was so scared I tried screaming but all that came out was crying then dad came in and said awwww baby what’s wrong and I tried to say what the hell is going on but all that came out was cooing and gurgling I was so scared I started crying harder and dad said it’s ok baby I’m doing this for you and then said when you were sleeping I put headphones on you and put hypnotic suggestions making your nerves stop working and make you talk like a baby as I was crying harder dad said now I got a fun surprise for you baby boy and turned the tv on above me and put the headphones on again and it started playing a diaper scat hypnosis and then he left the room after 2 hours dad came back in and said whew someone sure is a stinky baby huh and he took the headphones off unstrapped me and took me to a playpen in the middle of the living room and it was like I wasn’t an adult anymore daddy had turned me into his dirty poopy diaper boy. When he put me down he told me to show him what I learned from watching the special tv and the without thinking daddy untaped my huge poopy diaper and then sat down and turned on his camera and he said start baby and I got up and shoved my face in the poopy diaper and started playing with the poop after 20 minutes of playing daddy put me in a bath then before he put my diaper on he gave me a 2 liter enema and put me in a stroller and he walked me to a busy park where my old guy friends hang when we got there daddy said I think I see your freinds baby let’s go say hi we went over there and daddy parked the stroller asked them to come see his friend They all started walking over to me and said hi baby boy and laughed and daddy set a blanket out and set me down and then set me on the middle and told the two boys to sit down the daddy took his special coin out and started to swing it in there faces and said you boys will listen to every word I say I want you pull my baby’s diaper down and pee in it as they did I was giggling and then daddy told me to lay down when I did he told the boys to open the front of my diaper and poop in it and when they squatted all the poop came out right in the form of my diaper after they were done daddy taped me back up and told the boys to squat over my face and my baby will clean you up after they were all cleaned daddy put me back in the stroller and headed home along with the two boys now under daddy’s control.

[queenendless]

❤️‍🩹Flare (Keigo Takami/Hawks x Adult!Fem!Reader)❤️‍🩹

A/n: IT'S BEEN SO LONG! Sorry for the wait! I went through a Hawks writing funk. Also been working on JJK stuff. And watching a bunch of stuff too.

So, this piece is a self indulgent venting one cause I have chronic flare up pains going for 3 years now so this piece is kinda based off of a day in the life of me when dealing with my particular condition; feet wise. So I'd get it if reading this ain't up your alley. I just wish I had someone like Hawks to comfort me and quell my pain and worries.

AU, already established relationship with angst, hurt/comfort, fluff and feels indeed.

*PLEASE DON'T PLAGARIZE STEAL COPY TRANSLATE AND OR REPOST MY FANFIC WORK. REBLOG LIKE AND FOLLOW INSTEAD PLEASE AND THNX U.

Chronic pain is a living hell.

Engraved into your body.

Will leave on its own accord or be stuck with you for life.

Unfortunately, it was panning out to be the latter for you.

Staying up all night, multitasking from working on your laptop to checking the news to see your birdie partner engaging in a team up with his idol of a hero Endeavor alongside their hero works students.

Pride beamed in you at seeing Keigo in action, feather swords in hand to disarm his opponents, swooping in with his feathers spreading out to push and carry and guide the civilians to safety amidst the chaos.

The dews of dawn crept in as you finally finished when it happened.

Going in 3 years so far, the hereditary curse triggered in you from your pent up stress collapsing on itself resulted in flaring burning footsies.

Fatigue stung your eyes.

Your head pounded in dull pain.

With the curtains blocking out the light and the AC set to cool, you thought the cold would push the swelling burning go away.

But this was turning out to be one of those worse days.

You curled up in the fetal position on your bed, taking over 2 hours to fall asleep.

Falling in and out of slumber, you were now restless.

You heard the slide-in door of your living room balcony opening followed by the thump of footsteps and the flap of wings.

Always keeping it unlocked for him when he took a dive straight to your place. It is more of a home to him than his penthouse of a place that was still filled with unpacked boxes of furniture and such.

“Hey! Baby bird? Ya home?”

Hearing his heavy footsteps inching close, of course he'd first check your room.

Having only been seeing each other for a few months, you knew you couldn't keep this hidden from him for the long run.

His muffled voice finally came from behind your door. “Birdie?”

You knew his feathers could pick up even your quiet tone. “Here.”

Seeing light trickle in through the crack of the door, the man himself blocked out most of it from his frame. “Why is it dark – shit – and cold in here!?”

His shivering self hug was halted as those pupils shrunk behind his visor as he opened up the door more to shine the light in to unveil your red irritated feet. “Y/n? W – What happened?” He quickly came to your side, alarmed at the sight. Gobsmacked to be precise.

“Just circulatory defectiveness. Chronic stuff, ya know.” Your attempt at brushing it off like it was no big deal only riled up his feathers. Literally.

“No I didn't know! I've just found out!” Stripping off his gloves that fell to the floor, his calloused hands carefully felt your sensitive red dorsums. “How bad is it?”

“The tingling and burning really gets to you when you're trying to focus on work or sleep.” You winced for even his cautious fingers featherly brushing your veiny skin did little to quell the soreness. “Makes it harder to sleep when I'm not on the brink of exhaustion.”

Cradling one foot in his hands, Keigo's eyes trembled with emotion. “For how long?”

You couldn't meet his serious gaze. You looked away. “This year makes it three.”

“I get that everyone has their fair share of secrets but … ” The hurt in his voice cracked your heart.

“You have enough to deal with as is. My defective self is stuck dealing with this.” Your reasons made him wince at how true it was.

“Even so,” he set your foot down gently just so he could sit right beside you, his face hovering right above yours, gently cradling your head as he forced you to look him dead in the eye. “You shouldn't feel the need to hide this kind of thing from me.”

You self consciously fidget, throat choked up and lips wobbling. Your beautiful eyes grew in beauty from the tears but it just made him want to kiss them away. So he did.

“I have my fair share of secrets. Comes with my hero work … not to mention my past.” The crestfallen haze in his gaze was there one moment before his eyes lit up with endearment as you filled his sight. “You're the only one I'm willing to be myself around and just … be honest.”

“I was … embarrassed. I didn't want you seeing me like this.”

Taking off his visor then his headphones, his serious tone sent shivers racing through you. “I want to see all of you … the real you … the you I fell hard for.”

Setting his things aside on the nightstand, that left him free for you to hug his neck with no obstacles. He kept layering butterfly pecks against your cheeks and eyelids, curling your lips in response to his affection.

“You were scared. I get it. I was the same when I felt ready to tell you about my past … but you more than anybody reassured me I could trust you with my troubles, my feelings, all of it.”

His genuinity made you whimper and sniffle out of that shared sentiment as he helped you sit up.

“What's the point of being the #2 hero if I can't use my resources to help out my partner? Especially when you've been suffering this whole time.” He was sticking to this newfound resolve.

“Chronic stuff is incurable.” You sniffed at the sight of him pulling out a spare cloth outta his jacket pocket, wiping up your wet cheeks before dabbing your runny nose, letting you blow as well.

“There's still experimental treatment. Physical therapy. You still have options. And I'll help you in any way I can.” He is so charming and persuasive.

“Fine … I did miss having you here.”

“C'm here.” He immediately gathered you up in his arms, letting you bury your face in his shoulder, taking it all out.

The strain in your choked sobs. The pent up exhaustion, the struggle, the pain of the past three years you kept inside. Your blubbering got soaked up on his sleeve but he didn't mind one bit.

“It's okay, Y/n. Just let it out.” The enriching relaxing sounds of his voice kept you grounded. Solid. Assured.

“I'm here. I gotcha.” He squeezed you firmly but gently, rubbing your back in gentle motions with one hand and simultaneously weaving through your hair with the other; his fingers brushing them as soothingly as he could. “You're sleep deprived as is. You deserve to rest.”

“Only if you're staying.” You stubbornly set straight.

Keigo grinned, pecked your lips, drawing it out, filled to the brim with reciprocation and affection. “Deal.”

He cradled the back of your noggin as Keigo peppered kisses all over your face, gently pushing you to lay on your back as those lips traversed to your neck.

Your feet brushed together and your toes curled as Keigo spent the next few minutes sucking and nibbling all over your neck, his wings draping over you both, and your breathy moans feeding into his pleased ears.

Sleep could wait for a while longer.

[ros3ybabe]

Day 11 - 90 Day Challenge 🎀

Yesterday (11-25) was kind of productive? I ended up working a 5 hour shift at my job instead of the 8 hour one I was supposed to which by no means upset me because I still made money either way. I tried to get some stuff done beforehand but I honestly just took the morning for rest. I also go back to work this morning as well so I'm really happy to get back to routine.

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

took a 30+ minute walk around campus before I had to go to work

walked 9778 steps total

ate a really good salad with tomato, cucumber, romaine, shredded carrots, and balsamic vinegrette. (who knew balasamic vinegrette was so yummy!)

drank half a liter of essentia electrolyte water

stopped eating breakfast when I was comfortably satisfied and didn't push past my limits

ate 2 servings of fruit + 1 serving of almonds + 1 serving of cashews (so yummy, cashews and almonds for the win)

🧠 Mental Health

nothing that I can remember at the moment

❤️ Emotional Health

some more retail therapy. bought myself some oversized t shirts online to use as gym shirts/everyday shirts. I may be plus size but I still love me an big comfy t shirt, especially to workout. I think I bought 11 or 12 shirts? cost me 90$ USD.

📚 Intellectual Health

does it count if I said I did a lot of budgeting for what I was buying?

because otherwise, nothing else

🏘 Adulting

worked a 5 hour shift

phone call + zoom call with my boyfriend

took care of some laundry I had previously washed (still have more to take care of)

🥰 Self Love/Care

morning skincare

that's about it, but I think the walk helped my anxiety, and retail therapy always feels like self love because I used to feel guilty for buying myself stuff

Yesterday was a good day for sure. Today, my goals are to make it through my work shift, complete my reflection paper that's due tomorrow night, drink one liter of essentia electrolyte water, answer a journal prompt, and set myself up for tomorrow morning (I have a 730am class on Mon and Wed, so I gotta be up bright and early tomorrow!)

My Mondays are always so busy. Here's a little breakdown for those who are curious:

Wake up early, get ready, coffee, skincare, pack school bag, set out work stuff

Class at 730am to 845am

class from 9am to 1015am

quick snack at the dining hall at 1025am

review homework/tasks for the week

gym from 11am to 1215pm

walk home

shower, eat something proteiny, get ready for work

walk to work 130pm

work from 2pm to 10pm

get home, change/shower, zoom boyfriend

go to sleep by 11ish pm

I love Mondays tho, the routine always sets me up for the week!

Anywho, that's all for now!

Til next time, lovelies ���

[xiaq]

Steddie Time Travel Fix-it Pt. 11

Ao3 Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9 Pt. 10

Eddie wakes up the following morning to Steve Harrington sitting cross-legged beside him, loading the magazine of a handgun.

“Whu?” Eddie manages.

When they’d all gone to sleep––Eddie checks the clock, five hours ago, why are they even awake?––Robin, Chrissy, and Nancy had taken the guest bed while Steve and Eddie made due with sleeping bags and camping cots on the floor. The kids were split between Dustin’s room and the living room. 

And now, instead of sleeping in like most sane people would do after the apocalypse was avoided, Steve is loading a gun. He’s also still wearing Eddie’s shirt and boxers. While loading a gun. 

Eddie should not have to deal with this so early in the morning.

“Hey,” Steve says.“You can keep sleeping. A couple of us are going to do a quick check at the last open gate. Make sure it still looks like he’s really gone this time.”

The he is weighty.

Eddie shoves himself into a sit, scrubbing at the crust in his eyes.

“Okay. What time are we leaving?”

“We aren’t going anywhere,” Steve murmurs absently, sliding in the now-full magazine, checking the safety is on before standing. “You’re sleeping. I’m going.”

“Okay, but who’s going with you?”

Steve tucks the gun into the duffle bag that Eddie recognizes from the night before, then stoops to pick up the ammo box. His movements are awkward around his still-bandaged hand, around the clear pain from his ribs.

“Hopper, Nance, Jonathan, Robin, El, and I,” he says. “One of the scientists from the lab and two of the suits. Not that they’ve ever been useful. Kids are staying here with Joyce and Murray.”

“You’re injured,” Eddie points out, standing.

“I’m fine.”

“I’m uninjured,” he presses. “And I’m a pretty good shot, thanks to Wayne. Especially if you give me one of those shotguns.”

Steve’s movements become even more jerky as he shoves another box into the bag. “No, Eddie. Just hang out here. We’ll be back soon.”

“Okay, fuck no. You’re not leaving me behind with the literal children again.”

“It’s not a debate,” Steve says, every ounce the infuriating my-word-is-law asshole that stalks the halls of Hawkins high. “You’re not coming, deal with it.”

“I am coming, and you can deal with it. I don’t know why you seem to think I’m useless and I don’t care, but you’ve got plenty of guns to go around and I know how to shoot one. I’m coming.”

Steve stops packing shit into his bag. “No,” he says, low and dangerous. “You’re not.”

Eddie steps into his space, tips his head, and practically snarls into Steve’s mouth: “Oh, Harrington. I am begging you to try and stop me and see what happens.”

“Would you just fucking—no,” Steve shouts, voice breaking. “No, okay? I can’t. I can’t take you down there.”

“Why not?!” Eddie shouts back.

“Because even when we thought it was safe, even when we planned for you not to––we took so many fucking precautions, but it always happened. Every time. And even if it seems okay now, I can’t do that again, especially not when we’ve come so far this time. I can’t even see you down there, okay? I will lose whatever’s left of my goddamn mind. So no. Please, no. Eddie.”

And that. Well. Eddie was not expecting that.

He takes a step back. He considers Steve’s face—the tight, stricken, set of his mouth and the sheen to his eyes. And something occurs to him.

“You said that when you first went back in time it wasn’t enough,” Eddie murmurs. “That you made several attempts but you still lost.”

“Yeah.”

“Was I there? For all of them?”

“Yeah.”

“How many times did you watch me die?” Eddie asks quietly.

“Too many,” Steve says, and his voice cracks between the words. “Please don’t make me do it again.”

The way he says it, the way he looks when he says it, makes Eddie take another step back.

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Okay, I’ll stay here.”

They’re only gone for two hours but Eddie has worked himself up into something of a frenzy by then.

The kids keep trying to talk to him about the Eddie they knew before, about D&D and their former lives and hey if we’re going to be stuck in the past do you think we can skip a few grades? 

Eddie does his best to follow along but he’s caught thinking about the panic in Steve’s eyes, the supplication, when he’d begged Eddie not to come. He can’t stop wondering how many times they went back. How many times they failed. How many times Steve probably blamed himself for the failure.

 Eddie has been––not jealous, exactly, but a little frustrated by the fact that everyone except for him and Chrissy, and Barb before she left, had a strange and slightly overwhelming camaraderie. They had all these experiences in common––they’d shared life-changing moments, and Eddie constantly felt like the odd man out. Like he was trying to play catchup with only the barest of plot outlines. It didn’t seem fair, that he was expected to adapt so quickly to the knowledge that alternate dimensions and time travel and monsters existed while simultaneously trying to fill the shoes of his former––future?––self.

Now, though, he thinks about the shadows that seem to permanently live in Steve’s eyes and he wonders if maybe the opposite is worse. Steve had adapted to the horrors over time. Too much time. Time pressed between layers of time where the only memories created were negative. Were painful.

He thinks he should probably give Steve a hug when he gets back.

Wayne had called when he got off work––the suits had contacted him earlier that morning and put him up in the motel in town. They’ed told him there was seismic activity and the trailer had been damaged and the government would be taking care of a replacement, which Wayne had reported to Eddie with a bemused yet hopeful tone. “Guess I won’t have to save to fix the roof anymore, huh?”

Eddie probably hadn’t shown the proper enthusiasm for the unexpected windfall, because he was too busy twisting the phone cord around his fingers and staring out the kitchen window at the empty cul-de-sac, hoping that maybe, if he stared hard enough, Hopper’s truck might appear.

When it finally does appear, Dustin is trying to cajole him into eating a pancake while Chrissy is asking, for the third time, how, exactly, she died, which the kids are being very shady about––apparently she and Barb and Eddie had all been killed by this Vecna dude. Barb very explicitly did not want to know how she died. Crissy vehemently does. Eddie…isn’t certain. He’s afraid he was a coward, at the end. He doesn’t want that assumption confirmed.

When the truck pulls up in front of the house, the kids pile onto Steve and the others first, with hugs and questions and requests to go with them next time.

 Eddie and Chrissy watch from the doorway.

“So,” Eddie says. “Is this super weird for you too, or––?”

“Yeah,” she says, not sounding very upset about it. “It’s nice, though, at the same time.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at her. “Finding out the monster from the hell-version of Hawkins killed you in a different reality is ‘nice’?”

She leans into him so she can poke her elbow into his ribs. “Well not that part, obviously. But the part where––I’ve never had close friends before. I’ve had, like, cheerleading friends. Or friends I spend time with because their parents are friends with my parents. But never people of my own. Who like…genuinely care about me.” She nods to the group in the driveway, laughing as Robin pantomimes something. “They all love each other so much. And they thought I was worth saving. That’s pretty cool. To have a group like this care about you.”

Eddie can’t argue with that.

Hopper shepherds everyone back inside and they cheerfully lay into the food that Joyce and Claudia had made in their absence. The kids are talking about the upcoming science fair and maybe they can win it this time with a little extra knowledge on their side. Joyce is wondering if that’s cheating since technically they’re all freshmen in highschool now competing on a seventh-grade level. Dustin says it doesn’t matter because somebody needs to put Justin Malcovich in his place—it’d be an act of public service to knock him off his science fair throne––

Eddie agrees with Chrissy. He does feel honored and flattered and a little uncomfortable, honestly, with the affection the kids and Steve obviously have for him. But he doesn’t understand how he fits here. Or at least how this version of him fits. Maybe he’s not ready to be a part of whatever this is. Maybe there’s a reason they didn’t meet for several years.

“Well that’s not a good expression,” Steve murmurs, coming to stand beside him.

He’s still wearing Eddie’s shirt. And he smells. So fucking good. 

“This is just a lot.” Eddie admits.

“Fair,” Steve agrees. “You want to go sit on the roof?”

“...is that an option?”

Steve snags two pancakes from the table, grabs Eddie’s hand—his hand, not his wrist. His hand. And pulls him up the stairs.

They sit on the roof.

It’s not terribly steep, but it’s steep enough that they crab-walk past the window so they can put their backs against the sun-warmed siding for a little extra confidence.

“You mind?” Eddie asks, pulling a joint from his pocket.

“Only if you’re not planning to share.”

Eddie is planning to share.

They sit in companionable silence for several minutes, fingertips brushing, probably more fraught than it needs to be, as they pass the joint back and forth. 

“So,” he says, shoving hair out of his face as the wind tries to push it directly into his mouth. “I’m assuming everything looked ok?”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, “totally fine. Hopper said the kids can come next time, so that should tell you how safe he thinks it is.”

“But still not me?” Eddie asks.

Maybe he shouldn’t. But he feels like their conversation from that morning didn’t ever get to the point he wanted it to.

“Still not you,” Steve agrees, abruptly somber. “Never you.”

Eddie waits for Steve to continue, to explain, but he doesn’t. And Eddie isn’t feeling so cruel to push. Instead, he tries to french braid his hair back out of his face and is only partially successful. If he and the wind are keeping score, the wind is definitely winning.

“Oh, here,” Steve rocks to one side so he can pull something out of his back pocket. It’s Eddie’s bandana. “This was in with my laundry from last night,” Steve explains. “Come here, I’ll tie your hair back for you.”

Eddie doesn’t move for several seconds because the words don’t really make sense. He’s perfectly capable of tying back his own hair, he certainly doesn’t need Steve's help. He’s also not going to turn it down, though.

He moves closer. He shifts so his back is partially to Steve.

Steve’s fingers sink into his hair with a degree of familiarity that is a little winding. He combs it back as best as he’s able and then uses the bandana to gather it at the nape of his neck.

“There,” he says, using one hand on Eddie’s shoulder to turn him back around “better?”

It is better.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, despite the fact that Eddie hasn’t said anything. He tucks a few flyaway strands behind Eddie’s ear. “Looks good.”

Eddie exhales the smoke he’s been holding in his chest: long and slow and contemplative.

He passes the joint. He decides to be brave.

“Can I ask you something? And if you’re pissed after, can you just…let me leave. And not punch me in the face. Please.”

“Punch you—Eddie, what?”

“Are you flirting with me? Because it feels like you’ve been flirting with me. Pretty blatantly, man. And it’s seriously doing my head in because there’s no way, except––I just need to know. If you are.”

“Fuck,” Steve says. “I’m not trying to. I mean, I guess I am, sometimes, but it’s not––”

“Cool. Cool ok so, we’ll just forget I said anything and––” he pushes himself up, careful to keep his sneakers parallel to the roofline so he doesn’t fall to his death. Though, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad at this juncture.

“No. Shit, I knew I’d fuck this up. Eddie, please.”

Steve pulls him back down. Eddie lets him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to act around you because I know you aren’t the Eddie I knew, but you’re so similar and I’m selfish and I just…

“What?”

“Typically I only had you for a few days. The same few days. Over and over. Danger and blood and death, so this is nice.”

“What, getting to leave the hellscape timeline? Getting to eat pancakes  and smoke and not worry about the end of the world?”

“Getting to keep you.” Steve whispers.

He closes his eyes after he says it, too slow to be a blink. Eddie thinks he probably didn’t mean to say it, judging by the grimace on his face. “Before it was just the same thing. A week of terror. Over and over again. And I only got stolen moments with you in between all of it. So this, and the last couple weeks, it’s just nice. That's all.”

“Oh,” Eddie says.

The silence between them is heavy.

“Were we…” Eddie isn’t sure how to ask.

“No,” Steve says, meeting his careful gaze. “Not really. But there was something. Or I think there could have been something, but it was mostly just looks and touches and I probably misinterpreted them anyway.”

Eddie breathes. “You probably didn’t.”

“What?”

“Steve,” he says. “Come on.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“Can I kiss you?”

You can do anything you want to me, Eddie thinks. Instead, he says, “Yes. Please.”

***

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[poorbrokemess]

✨️Thoth✨️

For having just learned about him, it's almost annoying that it took me so long to get here.

*story time*

In school I was, someone everyone knew, but just off enough to not have a solid friend group; so my friends were my neighbors.

I, being the captain of the ship, decided what we would do most of the time (bossy).

Did we go play outside ? No. Did we gather in the cafeteria? No. Of course not.

We became library helpers.

When we didn't have a job, which was often. I had us all:

🌼write essays for extra credit🌼

(I am almost positive this granted us zero extra credit as we were literally copying reference books onto notebooks. Transcribing them; if you will ✨️.)

In other words: I forced my friends to do research and transcribe encyclopedias and such, all recess, for a year. (Special interests in geology and zoology *rocks and animals*)

It only lasted a year. The next year we were split up, forming new groups, mine still contained a neighbor however, just a new one, lol.

I still spent my recesses in the library, alone. Copying my books.

My mother always harped at me, still does if she gets the chance, "Why don't you just write a book already? You're writing anyway. You have always been that way, like your father. Will you ever live up to your potential?"

As if creation is the same as revision.

I've never had the urge to create my own works. I would much rather take something good and make it brilliant.

I've always done it. Even in my speech, revise how things are said to be more pleasing. For me, that is. It's just annoying for others. Justly so. I'd be annoyed with me too 😅

✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️

When I go book diving, I always look for any good kids' books to donate to others or to put in those *free little library* boxes.

Tonight, I put 3 books into the donate box. Ones I would generally never even grab.

As we were leaving a very distinct feminine was like *those are not for donation, they are for you* (self help, mindfulness type books)

So this is what it's like to have a Goddess be more than pushy and grandiose 😅

I'm too tired for pendulum work after no sleep, then a big dumpster raid, followed by a deconstruction of flowers, now hung to dry. Then 2 hours of research.

I do think it was Ma'at or Isis. However, Seshat is a possibility, I didn't know about her until today, so she wasn't on my earlier pendulum work.

I need to use the sleep

I do wonder though

How does one go about choosing the *path/rank/version*

So many

See I get the 🧐 with Atum Ra, which is surprising because Amun Ra has a more intriguing elemental base for me.

Is like, I *REALLY* liked the idea of Anubis, but it was Osiris, Seth, and Horus that got pinged.

I definitely did not expect any Godess Pings. I got 3 solid ones.

Without a proper list or knowledge.

And yes, there are times I get no answer. That's why pendulum work takes hours on hours.

Why am I still writing this instead of sleeping.

I'm screwed.

Ope.

😶‍🌫️😪