#i did the colors from memory im surprised at how close i got

[bumpscosity]

KABOOM FOAM-TASTIC DOODLES

[millyrocking]

a summary (with some colorful commentary) of great rivalries: bret hart and shawn michaels

-i have to mention that bret is wearing a black button down that’s open enough for you to see his chest and shawn’s button down has no sleeves.

-bret’s hair has lightened up to a nice honey brown here. it looks good.

- bret and jim liked working with rockers from the start because they were fast and had great athleticism

- shawn thanked bret for being nice abt his past as a rocker.

- the rockers bad behavior was often excused because they were great in ring performers.

-shawn comes off as very anxious to me. i don’t know if it’s because of bret or having to speak about his past behavior but he’s fidgeting a lot.

- shawn always looks to bret when he’s talking but bret looks at jim ross almost the entire time. he glances to shawn here and there.

- bret remembers EVERYTHING. im so sorry but i take his word over shawn’s any time.

- bret: “shawn and marty had that sexy boy kind of look”

- shawn said that the rockers and hart foundation were a good pair up because hart foundation didn’t down them for being small like the other guys did

- bret could do a verbal telling of the history of wwf from 84-95 seriously. his memory is impeccable.

- bret being so upset abt the rope breaking during the rockers vs hart foundation title match — telling the ref and everybody to stop the match so they could fix it

- the match went to hell and bret said it was the first time he was lost in a match — bret was so sick about the rope 😭

- bret and shawn had the first ladder match in wwe history plus fun fact it was bret who brought ladder matches to wwe bc they did them in stampede wrestling

- bret was camera shy when he was starting out in wwf

- the way shawn looks at bret when he’s talking aww he’s locked in

- from 80s to early 90s — bret said it transition from the dinosaurs to the mammals

- bret always gives shawn props on how good he was in this interview which is nice bc i guess shawn really needs to hear that specifically from bret

- before wwf — shawn was taught to destroy rivals and be cutthroat but wwf was more obsessed with how big you are — the bigger you are in size, the more status

- shawn and bret got along from day 1

- it was curt (hennig), bret and shawn as a little trio back in the early 90s

- bret said him, curt and shawn used to play baseball with an axe handle when they had down time 🥺

- bret considered shawn one of his besties, shawn visited his kids (early 90s) — i posted an interview excerpt about this from bret

- it’s scary that back then wrestlers were all drug addicts to varying degrees — bret and shawn have lost so many friendships over drug use and death wow

- bret often went to bat for shawn to upper management— always put in a good word for him to vince

- bret said shawn was one of the best athletes to come into wrestling

- bret always wanted to pass the torch to shawn. it was always in his plans.

- i think maybe shawn was so pissed with bret because he wanted to be bret’s equal in the business and not the guy who’s running behind him to get the baton?

- shawn and bret drew close to each other because they shared a common value: no matter the crowd and circumstance, work as hard as you can

- shawn: “people would be surprised at how many events there were where it was shawn and bret celebrating together”

- while bret was winning belts, shawn was struggling with drug issues — then the kliq formed

- iron man match — bret and shawn were still friends but drifting slowly

- bret liked kevin nash and thought he supported him during his tenure at wwf

- shawn turned babyface and came in bret’s babyface lane — a spark of friction here

- bret felt that him being champion meant nothing to wwf, felt he was a placeholder for someone else to get the belt and felt disrespected because he’s turning out classic matches and getting nothing for it - yet shawn put out less work and gets handed the belt — animosity kinda started there — bret felt upper management wasn’t treating him right even though bret thought he was more over than he ever was

- so bret sorta left

- bret didn’t feel like shawn was interested in sharing the wealth, wanted to keep it for the kliq — told bret he had plans to basically only work w the kliq — shawn doesn’t remember this convo allegedly but doesn’t doubt he said this

- shawn: the futurist — the business needed to get edgier — he’s kinda tony stark coded to me

- bret: the traditionalist — VERY steve rogers coded like i can’t make this shit up 😭

- bret felt he was the leader of the locker room — most wrestlers voiced their concerns to him — bret the den mother

- what kinda pisses me off is i feel like bret never got to be the super megastar that he should’ve been like the rock, stone cold, hulk hogan, john cena were — he should’ve been THE quintessential 90s superstar wrestler (he probably was and since i wasn’t born yet i just dont know)

- hitman fans are an oppressed group. they were always screwing over his character 😭

- bret and shawn choreographed the iron man match together— bret’s so happy abt this match because it went perfectly. went exactly the way they planned.

- shawn called bret the next day or so to thank him

- the 2 min overtime was a work — we should all know that

- shawn’s attitude after the iron man match — pushing earl away when he’s clipping the belt, no handshake was a work

- shawn told earl to get bret the hell out of the ring — bret didn’t have a problem with this, just felt it was a speed thing — just something that came out to get things moving and keep time

- after the match — owen called bret and said the locker room really thinks you and shawn hate each other bc you didn’t shake hands — bret loved this heat because it would create good money for the both of them

- shawn and bret had a convo abt their heat being a work

- bret was proud of shawn’s champion run in 96 — thought he did a good job

- bret planned to throw jabs at shawn when he returned in oct 96 as a work so he could play the bitter and disgraced ex champ who’s coming back to get what’s his

- clip of a fan calling bret a pretty boy (i agree)

- i swear shawn never finishes a sentence. real.

- shawn’s wild asf for saying “stu hart is dead and walked around calgary as if he’s still alive” in 97. im sorry if i were bret id wanna beat his ass any chance i got too 😭

- i think their worked heat turned into a shoot (using all the terminology) in summer 97 bc of their promos — they were talking too much shit about each other it started to get kinda real

- bret negotiated the biggest contract in wcw at the time

- shawn and his “knee injury” — no one believed it and im sorry i dont either 😭 — bret was upset bc he thought shawn was being selfish and putting more work onto the guys to carry the company while he does backflips in his shorts and loafers

- my theory is shawn faked this knee injury to get out of dropping the belt to bret at wrestlemania xiii — probably felt pissed about him having the biggest contract, hailed for saving wwf ratings, being able to take a long ass break (even though technically bret’s previous contract ended) and come back to be top of the card

- but its okay because bret vs stone cold at wrestlemania xiii is a classic — my second favorite bret match — i think him and shawn’s iron man match is my all time fave

- bret said something about shawn’s parents being embarrassed about the playgirl shoot — this set shawn off

- shawn said for some reason he really wanted bret’s pat on the back, his validation and affirmation

- bret thought him and shawn were always on the same page about their fake heat

- bret felt shafted by shawn for the wrestlemania switch, felt shawn let the company down

- all the things bret ever said about shawn was strictly about his character

- bret and shawn would work out what they were gonna say about each other (in 97) and shawn would be like “great 😄👍🏼” but then bret would come back into the locker room and shawn would be like “😢” while everyone was like “great work bret! 😁” — shawn smiles and laughs as bret says this

- bret thought the “pat on the back” that shawn was looking for was incoming, all he wanted to do was build up shawn and make him even bigger than he was. bret knew his time was coming to an end and always had plans for shawn to be his successor but bret admits that he was way too realistic with the heat and it ruined his and shawn’s relationship

- shawn felt that him and his character were one, attacking shawn michaels the wrestler, the kayfabe was attacking shawn the person

- bret didn’t like shawn’s stripping in the ring as a babyface then him bringing kids in the ring to dance with him — bret felt it was wrong — they had a light disagreement here

- shawn didn’t have the capacity at the time to put his feelings aside for business because he felt insecure about his public perception

- bret just wanted to get money with shawn, he feels horrible for damaging the trust between them — didn’t understand how much heat he had with shawn until the sunny days promo

- bret probably wouldn’t care too much about the sunny days comment if his kids and family weren’t asking him if he’s cheating w sunny

- i think the actual start of the real beef was “bret’s announcement” promo where shawn sweet chin musics bret into his wheelchair —- bret went on too long because he couldn’t hear his cue in his headset due to the noise of the crowd so he made them go off air and shawn didn’t get to do the kick before the cameras cut. shawn was LIVID about this bc he felt bret did it on purpose to humiliate him and be able to berate him live with shawn not being able to retaliate.

- shawn says him and bret would have convos where bret would say “just trust me” but felt bret had it out for him and this promo was proof so now shawn was talking the gloves off and refusing to respect bret —- then he did the sunny days promo

- “the cat fight in hartford” as bret calls it came after the sunny days promo

- apparently after all this, they were still on decent terms. (also random fun fact that was not told in this interview: the costume ladies stopped making bret’s ring attire because he beat up shawn in hartford). bret was told him and shawn had a wrestlemania spot (xiv im guessing shawn says he didn’t know that) so he told shawn he had no problem putting him over. shawn said “thank you and i appreciate that but i would never do the same for you”— neidhart and ken shamrock were there

- bret says the next day, he goes to tulsa, ok tv tapings (its crazy that he remembers such details) and vince says bret you have to drop the belt in montreal to shawn but bret tells vince what shawn said about not putting him over

- vince said im gonna get shawn and you’ll repeat what you just said, vince finds him and just says “im gonna put the belt on you shawn” and shawn starts acting fake and praises bret

- so bret did not want to put shawn over because he disrespected him

- one thing that people always get wrong about the lead up to the screwjob that pisses me off is that they think bret had a huge vendetta against shawn and didn’t want to drop to him or anyone, wanted to carry the belt to wcw and he didn’t wanna lose in canada EVER and that bret was being a difficult bitch in the midst of this when bret has said time and time again this was not true:

1. bret had no problem dropping the belt to shawn initially. he was happy to do it but shawn telling bret he wouldn’t put him over is what ruined it.

2. bret had no intention of bringing the belt to wcw ever. he and vince went over many ways that he could drop the belt — on raw, the next in your house, ss. it was never an issue. and he said he would’ve dropped it to ANYONE. so no the screwjob was not a “business decision” like triple h, stone cold and undertaker claim. i could get that it was supposed to be business as in they needed to start the attitude era and shawn was supposed to be the face of the company for that and needed the belt but stone cold could’ve gotten it and have a stone cold vs shawn match and spend more time beefing up dx. drop to undertaker — shawn vs undertaker again in a rematch after that in your house hell in a cell. there were ways. plus the way they went about it kinda breached bret’s contract but thats another post (i could really do a montreal screwjob post if anyone is interested because i know basically EVERY public detail about it now).

3. “ooh bret just didn’t wanna lose in canada!!” okay is that so bad? that’s his biggest audience and home country. plus they don’t run that many shows there anyway so why can’t we let bret have that? also bret said he would’ve dropped the belt in ottawa and where is that? okay then.

-triple h having a say in this decision is very weird to me. hunter said “fuck bret not wanting to drop the belt to shawn. if he doesn’t wanna do business, we’ll do it for him” he egged on the double cross. im also confused as to why shawn and triple h are in the management room like they’re execs and why are we going over finishes without the second party of the match? thats not how its supposed to be done.

-for bret, it was all about respect. for shawn, it was about validation. i just don’t get why it was so important to get it from bret. maybe because bret’s a vet? he knows the business in and out, has played almost every role central to pro wrestling, from a wrestling royalty family — possibly bret not validating shawn felt like a burial of his talent? like the expert who has seen almost all the greats can’t recognize that same greatness in him which makes him feel like he’s not as good as he thinks he is?

-if im hearing this correctly, shawn didn’t know how the double cross was going to go. he knew it was going to happen but not exactly how.

-bret and shawn had a final heart to heart the day of or hours before the screwjob, talking about their problems, how they were fucked up in their connection and trying to reestablish some trust going into the SS match — shawn starts crying a bit here because he feels so guilty about his involvement in the screwjob

-shawn felt he had a huge weight on lap with the decision to carry out the screwjob or change the finish— he said he did what he was told because he felt like a little soldier for the company (for vince)

-shawn said this was easily one of the lowest points in his career

-vince wanted to take full responsibility for the screwjob but shawn is ?? abt that bc shawn is gonna be the one in the locker room and the matches so who’s really gonna feel the heat?

-bret didn’t punch or rough up shawn after the screwjob because he didn’t know if shawn was really involved or not and would feel bad if he physically hurt him while he was innocent. bret said he would feel bad about it for the rest of his life.

-bret had 275 days in his contract for 97 but did 310 days

-bret was devastated about this double cross — bret holds back tears after he says this

-bret felt more betrayed by shawn than vince. he said if it were the other way around and they wanted bret to screw shawn, “there would be nothing they do or say to get me to do that”

- bret categorizes himself as “one of the boys” not a “company guy”

-even after everything, bret still had respect for shawn

-i understand why bret was so absolutely pissed about the double cross because 300 days for 14 years — sick, hurt, missing family, leaving on christmas just for them to say fuck you and get the fuck out

-side note: bret tells shawn canada doesn’t hate you because of the screwjob but because you dry humped the flag

-not to be extra but there’s an interlude here where wwe sums up their lives post screwjob and bret’s section is just absolutely devastating (becsuse his life after really was) — owen’s death, his concussion, his mom died, davey boy died, his stroke, his dad dies after (thats a LOT of trauma over the span of 6 years) while shawn’s section is just like yeah he broke his back but had an amazing, spectacular, spiritually fulfilling journey where like fine wine he got better with time like alright…

-bret says he was so angry about everything related to wwe that he felt like “parachuting in[to raw] with a machine gun”. he wondered how he could arrange it 😭

-tyson kidd told bret that shawn still feels bad about what happened (i think this was 2009?) and wanted to call bret to talk. bret told tyson to give shawn his number. bret waited for shawn to call for a year and asked tyson why he hadn’t.

-the big motivator for bret to reach out to shawn was the wrestlemania xxv match with shawn and undertaker— bret was so proud of him and undertaker and wanted to call shawn to congratulate him.

-shawn didn’t call bret because he was scared (shawn says this so bluntly). he wanted to make up with bret so badly that he couldn’t handle bret being closed off to reconciliation.

-the make up in the ring was very genuine.

-shawn is very torn up about the fact that he didn’t have the ability back then to…not be an asshole. he wished he was a better person and he got a little worked up and choked up about the fact that he was not. it devastates him that his poor decisions and emotional stability ruined his connection with bret.

-shawn also says with the utmost conviction: “for whatever reason, i just wanted bret hart to like me”

- there’s a very cute clip here from the interview day (theyre in some other room) where bret makes some joke, shawn laughs and grabs bret’s arm while bret smiles 😊

-clip of bret and shawn strolling the dock, just chatting

-bret on forgiving shawn: “it pulled this weight off of shawn. it set him free which in turn set me free”

-clip of bret showing shawn something on his phone

-shawn is just so happy to have made up with bret. you could tell he missed him.

-the final line of the interview from jim ross is “hope lives. thank you.” the drama of it all.

[shygirl4991]

Chapter 3 Colorful confession

A shout out to @cody-the-cat enjoy seeing the idea come to life! All art is by @b-r-i-n-g-x do not repost! A Four Chapter special as thank you for all the support you guys have given me!

Last Chapter Final Chapter

Summary: SMG3 just wanted to make himself a nice cup of coffee before the work day began, but when he takes a sip from his freshly brewed coffee and passes out he will wake up to a huge surprise. Three other versions of himself now run wild in the mushroom kingdom and he has to stop them before the world learns all his secrets. 

Tags: Love Confessions, Enemies to friends to lovers, Romantic comedy, fluff and angst, tw blood

They panic and run hiding behind a building as SMG4 passes them, Heart sighs trying to get up only to stumble. Book catches Heart “Hey now you're still weak, there's no way you can go to Four in your state.” Heart frowns seeing how panicked the man is, SMG3 sighs turning around and looking at his three personalities. “Spade, Book cover me and Heart we are switching clothes.” They stare wide eyed at him before Heart slowly walks away from Books hold “Dont be to mean, im sure the man is worried seeing his friend run off crying.”

Three nods as they switch outfits. “I will tell him that i removed the contacts due to crying, stay out of sight till i get rid of him.” He felt awkward being dressed in pink, he was so used to being in dark clothing that it felt off as if he was screaming at the world to look at him again. SMG4 turns noticing Three, with an awkward wave Four ran up to Three, his concern written all over his face “Three! Thank the memes you're okay, what happened, why did you run?”  Three was feeling overwhelmed by his emotions as he closed his eyes, he needed to come up with a story here and now. “Today…is the anniversary of when I lost Terrance when it clicked I just lost it,” his eyes start to water as he forces himself to face the memories he held back. The gifts Terrance would make to help him kill SMG4, the rocket ship he made because he wanted to see the world with him. His final words, that one hurt the most hearing him say he loved him and knowing he never got the chance to tell him the same. SMG4 frowns, pulling Three into a hug, Three’s face goes red from how close he is and starts to regret accepting his feelings.

His heart was ready to jump out of his chest, lucky for him it's the organ and not the personality. Heart smiles watching the interaction, he was starting to feel life slowly come back to him as he watches the pair. Spade blushes looking away, he felt himself glow and let out a chuckle “He is really holding back…huh?” a group of piantas walk up to them smirking, Spade starts to growl at them showing his sharp teeth. Hearing the growl, Heart and Book turn surprise to see the group, they look at the three of them as if they were studying their prey. Heart’s eyes turn red while walking in front of Book “Do you need something?” 

One of the piantas walks to the front of the group, removes his fedora and smiles “yes, so you see we were walking around when we notice SMG3 walking with what seems like clones of himself. Funny story we lost an experimental cherry power up that when a person drinks it makes copies of that person.” he points at the group and lets out a dark chuckle. Spade and Heart glared at the group while Book was analyzing his words. He takes out his notebook and writes the information down “A power up that makes copies…but we aren't copies..so how?” The leader claps, breaking Book out of his thoughts “Give us the power up Three, no one has to get hurt.” Heart was getting ready to fight when Book pulled him back. “Heart, something isn't adding up, we aren't copies which means if these people learn what we are..they might kill us and use our body to make more of whatever made us.”  

Heart bites his lip looking at the group, the leader was getting sick of the waiting and takes out a gun pointing it at Spade. The pair jump up in surprise “You won't share then i will get rid of your little clone!” Spade smirks and sprints right at the leader surprising the man, opening his mouth he bites the gun in half, the leader stands there staring at the broken gun in shock “The…fuck?” Spade spits the other piece of the gun out of his mouth, he lets out a dark chuckle “Sorry looks like I have more bite than bark!”

The leader looks at the group again, his eyes wide seeing how they are dressed. “You're not copies…” he starts to laugh, making Heart and Book nervous. Spade rolled his eyes, annoyed by the group, the man stopped laughing as he gave the group a dark look “You're not copies, you're something different, boys look like we are getting something out of this capture them we have new test to do.” Spade growls seeing the gang members approach them “Book take Heart and warn the original, i have some rage to get out,” Heart frowns grabbing Spades arm “What if they catch you, remember what you are to him!” Spade chuckles, pulling away from Heart he snaps his fingers summoning Eggdog. The pup looks around surprised seeing multiple versions of his father, Spade smiles softly at the pup “Want to help daddy kick some ass?” he barks, becoming an egg sword for spade. Book and Heart frown watching Spade walk from them “ALRIGHT FUCKERS MESS WITH ME AND YOU GET ME!”

The leader steps back as his members charge at Spade, he dodges the swings of their baton to smack them back with Eggdog. One of the men runs grabbing the personality only for Spade to laugh headbutting the man, he holds his head in pain seeing this Spade runs up kicking the man across the field. Seeing they weren't winning close combat one takes out a gun, Spades eyes glow as he stares at the man. Seeing all of them distracted, Heart and Book run off trying to come up with a plan to get SMG3 help. Spade slowly walks up to the man, seeing the personality keep walking forward with a murderous expression he begins to shake in fear. Spade smirks grabbing the gun and pulling it out of his hand tossing it “You fucked with the wrong man.” Book sees Three and Four separate, Heart watching that Four was far enough threw his hat hitting the man in the face to make him notice them. They wave their hands in a panic as he stomps over “What the hell are you gu-” he feels sharp pain on his side, confused he touches his side to see blood looking up he then notices one of the personalities was missing “What happened to Spade!?” 

Heart takes back his hat back then takes SMG3 hand “Some weird guys approached us and he is fighting them off we need to hurry!” with a nod they all run back to Spade.  Spade breathes heavy as he stares at the last three members, the leader claps “I'm impressed by your skill for a clone, heh which means.” he walks forward, seeing this Spade gets ready to fight distracted he gets smacked  by the other member. He growls as the leader grabs his ponytail and smirks down at him “You're nothing but a plague, you're not complete but I can complete you!” hearing this Spade reaches for the knife hidden in his boot and stabs him. The man screams as his grip weakens giving Spade a chance to escape the man, he was feeling panic build up in him. He was weak from all the fighting, he wasn't sure he was able to keep this up, he got up growling again as his mind flashes to SMG4. He blinks surprise by that “Wha…four…grr I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKERS WANT BUT YOU CANT HAVE ME!” 

The leader pulls out the knife glaring at Spade, before he can make another move they hear a gunshot. They turn to see SMG3 standing holding his gun “I suggest you leave,” he points the gun at him making the man clap as the last standing members go to pick up their teammates before leaving. Three holds his side as he walks over to Spade “You okay?” he gets a chuckle out of the personality as he drops to the floor “I’m perfect, i mean did you see the other guys?” Three lets out a chuckle and nods as he bends down checking Spade for wounds to help care for, Heart frowns seeing the state Spade is in. Book shakes his head “We need to fuse now, things are getting dangerous. Whatever happened to cause all this came from the cherry power up, we don't know how it got us but as long as we are out and about we are in danger.” Book looks down, shaking. 

SMG3 finished taking care of Spade “Your right we need to get this over with this day has been long, now we have this strange experiment with cherry powers..i don't want to deal with this shit.” Heart glares at them shaking his head, he knew what he was going to say was crazy but he had to say it he won't be ignored again.  Spade seeing the conflict in Hearts eyes he nods with a small smile, seeing this Heart speaks up “I don't want to fuse yet! I know it's risky and not logical but everytime we follow your lead Book we regret the choice, we lost Terrance and by logic we shouldn't have let him get close but it happened!” Book sighs looking at Spade, seeing that everyone was now looking at him to give the final answer he thinks over what happened. The moment he thought he was going to die he could only think about SMG4, the regret that he ever knew how he felt. He blushes as he looks down “I….i want to confess to that idiot, uh not because of what heart said! I..when i thought it was the end for me all i could think about was that dumbass, then i realized i regret him not knowing how we felt…original i know it sucks but lets confess to SMG4.” Three’s eyes go wide hearing Spades words, he looks at Book then at Heart letting out a sigh he nods “Ugh fine, let's do this before i change my mind!” 

Heart smiles and nods “Bad news, given we are being hunted doing a normal confession won't really work. We need the crew,” hearing this Spade and Three stand up blushing “NO WAY!” they both shout. Before they knew it the personalities were sitting in the cafe waiting for Three to collect the crew members that he trusted with this mission of love. Three sighs as he walks to the cafe shaking, he turns, giving his friends an awkward smile “I brought you here cause I know you guys can handle this, don't freak out but this morning i was drinking coffee when i felt off. I passed out and I woke up to three other versions of me. A lot happened today and I need your help with…ugh as my heart likes to call it operation gay.”  Meggy nods giving a supportive smile at him “Yeah you said some guys were after you cause of it, so where are they? What are we helping with?” Three opens the door nervous on how they would react. 

Heart seeing the door open runs out excitedly “Hey silly’s! The name is Heart. I'm the romance trait of SMG3!”  Meggy’s eyes go wide seeing Heart smile at them, Melony gets excited and takes his hand “You look so cute!” Heart smiles at the comment showing off his pink overalls. Tari awes at seeing the other Three, it reminded her of the time she met other versions of herself. Then spade walked out glaring at the crew, Meggy seeing the way he was dressed was a blast from the past “Are you supposed to be Three’s villain side?” Spade rolls his eyes “Yep, guess that's why you're labeled as the smart one huh squid? I'm Spade the evil trait of SMG3.” hearing the other two do their intro Book gets up and walks out. Tari waves at Book as he gives a small smile “Hello im Book the logical side of SMG3, while i'm not a fan of this i have no choice in the matter. Do you all know the plan?” The three of them shake their heads, making Book look at Three. SMG3 felt himself break into a sweat seeing the personalities waiting for him to explain the plan, he really wished they just fused and forgot this whole confession.

He looks around then sighs blushing as he holds himself as he looks down. “I…i want to confess my crush on SMG4, but i need some stuff in order to do it. So I need each of you to protect my personality while they get the things I need.”  The girls stay quiet for a moment before running to hug SMG3. The man can feel his face go a darker shade of red as the girls hug him “Aw Three i knew you liked Four! OF COURSE WE WILL HELP!” Meggy’s words made him feel even more embarrassed by the admission of his feelings. Heart giggles at the display while Spade watches in horror, Book taps the girls to get their attention. “We are losing sunlight, we need to get the items to get this confession done by tomorrow.” With a nod they separated and walked out of the showgrounds leaving SMG3 back at the cafe to write his confession. Heart was looking around the shops excited as Tari jogs to catch up to the personality “Okay Tari, our mission is to find the perfect flowers for Blue!” she smiles and nods “You seem to really like Four!” Heart nods “Of course! He may have been an asshole to us in the past but his growth really made us see him in a different light, he..may have ruined our life but he made up for it by saving us later on.” he gets excited seeing fresh roses. Tari smiles softly at the sight then notices something from the corner of her eye, she turns and sees someone staring at them. Nervous, she grabs Heart hand. “We should go in, someone is watching us.” with a nod they step into the store to buy some roses for Four. 

Spade and Melony walk around the shopping center trying to find a place for them to get the ingredients for spade to make fireworks. Melony was looking around excitedly when she had a chance to look at new beds, Spade chuckles as he gently grabs her arm to help her keep focus “Come on Mel we have a job to do, but maybe if you do good helping me make these fireworks i will help you with bed shopping.” She cheers as they enter a shop to get what they need. As they step outside both of them turn, seeing someone staring at them, Spade growls showing his teeth as Melony summons her sword glaring at the men watching, they jump up in panic and run off. Meggy watches as Book pays for the paper and colorful pens for SMG3 to write his notes on, looking around she decides to ask the man something “So you have no idea how you three came to be? If this could happen to any of us?” Book grabs the bag with their items as he thinks over the events earlier. “All we know is that something called a cherry power up is the cause but we don't know anything else other than that. I have gone over my notes and I can't figure this out.”  Meggy hums thinking then snaps her fingers “Why not ask Mario and Luigi those guys are always eating power ups!”

Book smiles nodding his head “Your right, we can get the original to ask why didn't i think of our avatar!” As they stepped outside two men were waiting for them. One grab Book by surprise, Meggy was going to take her splatgun out but gets knocked out by a third one that was hiding, Book glares at the men “I won't tell you anything, so do your worst!”  The men laugh as they get ready to tie up Book. As they reach for him a bomb gets thrown in front of them, they scream as it explodes blinding the men. Spade dashes through the smoke grabbing Book and Meggy while Melony knocks out the men.  “Your fucking lucky there was a bed shop here and we found you both in time,” Book shaken up hugs Spade making the personality blush “geez it wasnt that bad you big baby!” he pats Books head as Melony comes back with the bag of stuff that Meggy and Book bought.

They head back to the cafe to see SMG3 sitting at the table freaking out, Heart walks up to him gently giving him the bag of items “Now you can write your feelings down, then we see what the future holds…since we will be back home for that.” hearing those words made him frown. It's been a day with these three personalities all he wanted was them gone so he can live his day, with everything happen he notice it felt nice to be near others he can just be himself with.Thinking more on them going back he notice he was going to mess the chaos of these three being with him, he takes the bag “It’s weird, i think when this is over i'm going to miss you guys.” he looks at the personality as they all give sad smiles at him. Heart lets out a soft giggle “We will still be with you silly, just close your eyes and feel.” SMG3 looks at the color pens and hands three of them to the personalities. They look at him confused. “Write one sentence to Four, it is our confession so you guys should have a word in to.” They smile as they take a piece of paper and write their line. He could feel his heart race as he took out his phone sending a message to SMG4 to hang out, he waited as he watched the dots on the screen disappear and reappear as Four texted back. Then the text he was waiting for “Sure let’s hang out at the castle,” Three felt his face go red as he thought to himself if they can really pull this confession off. 

As time moves forward, Three gathers all the notes for the confession and reads through them. He can do this, he looks at the others giving him thumbs up as he gets ready to see Four “Wish me luck!” He walks over to the castle, he opens the door letting out a shaky breath as he walks to Fours room. SMG4 turns around and runs up to him excitedly “I see your feeling better now! I got some fresh memes just for you so we can keep spirits up! Three lets out a soft smile “cool but i called to hang out for something else, it's important.” Four nods sitting on his bed giving his full attention to him, he takes out his notes shaking “ugh this is going to suck ahem i wrote my thoughts down so here we go. SMG4 the reason I'm standing in front of you is because my heart was annoying and wouldn't do things my way, it may seem like i'm lying when i say this but know its the truth.” He blushes then looks up to see Four focus on him. “I have fallen for you and I know how gay of me but I couldn't help it. Getting to know you I found out how amazing you are and it hit me hard seeing everything you do. You captured my attention and no matter how much logic i put in it..i can't find the explanation as to why.  We aren't just linked because of our guardian powers but everything we went through together..i care deeply for you and i hope you feel the same.” 

SMG4's face was bright red hearing the confession, he let out a shy smile taking the confession in. Three could feel his whole body shaking from his nerves, unable to stand it he was going to leave. Seeing this Four jump up and grab him “WAIT!” They stand there frozen, after a few moments SMG3 awkwardly turns around to see Four still red in the face “I care deeply about you too.” Three’s eyes go wide, they smile at each other before going in for a hug. Back at the cafe Spade and Book were drinking coffee and chatting, while Heart was looking out the window. He felt himself glow along with a warmth he had never felt before, he smiled widely looking at the castle “We did it!”

[crystlizabeth]

Will we get a pt 2 of Cowboy Cassanova? 🥹

Cold without you…

Phillip Graves x Blackfem!Shepard!reader

Warnings: angsty, cursing, self neglect, arguing, age gap(24&32), fluffy. Again not proofread.

Summary: months later winter seemed colder and now sad what used to be your favorite time of year was now your most dreaded. But everybody gets surprises during the holidays.

P.1 cowboy Casanova

You were so angry with him, you wanted nothing more than to scream and cry. Your father tore him away so fast just as you had him so close. How could he seek to hurt you so much your own father, he watched you fall apart and he knew it was because of his doing. He did it wanting to keep his little girl from heartbreak but he was the one that broke it he knew that as soon as you arrived back to your family home. Still in your outfit from the night your tear stained face and bloody red eyes, your broken tone.

You cried and cried to him pushing him away when he came up to comfort you acting stupid as if you didn’t know, yelling all he could say it was for your own good. That Graves isn’t a man to be involved with let alone he was ‘to old for you’. That you needed to accept this and theres so many people in the world for you that school should be your main priority not some man who was taking advantage of you. He made you seem so naive and he knew better he knew that you know what you wanted what situations you got yourself in and that if he really was taking advantage of you, you would have sure as hell known.

Right there was when he knew he lost is babygirl. That he broke her heart into a million pieces not Phillip. Him. He watched as you wailed into your mothers arm mumbling out to him ‘how could you..’, ‘why would you do that..’ and ‘im not your little girl anymore.’ . Your mother comforting you not knowing the full situation but knew her husband had fucked up bad.

Now it was December you where back in Texas from school. The southern winter was different, it used to be your favorite the memories of playing in the snow with your siblings staying home from school and Christmas. But you had a feeling Christmas was going to be different, quite even.. the streets covered in inches of snow the night colorful lights on the trees and buildings around it as the snow fell from the sky. Eventually your older brother picked you up from the airport to take to home.

“You ready to go, see dad?” Caleb asked, the sound of his daughters in the background talking to one another singing the carols that came from the radio.

You sighed softly looking away from the window to face him, the street lights shiny on his face sometimes you forget how easily he lost his color in the winter his freckles becoming lighter his hair short the curls still noticeable. “Not exactly who I want to see.. but everyone is home right now so I don’t just have to see his face.” You laughed lightly knowing all of your siblings were gonna be there.

He hummed in response. There was the silence everyone knew what you dad pulled and why you were so mad at him even after the months passed.

“You know sis, you do look I dont know— good I guess?” He said quietly.

You pressed your lips together. “Im fine just school is hectic.. just be a break..” you mumbled looking down checking your phone.

“Has he tried getting in contact with you.. I gave him you new number.” Caleb said.

Oh? You faced him your eyebrows frowned, “no.. no he hasn’t has he said he’s going to..?” You asked.

Your brother shook his head unsure “I don’t know but he ask about ya, specially since I bring you up near him iv been tryin’..” he spoke.

Phillips been asking about you. But he hasn’t even reached out knowing that you wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone, well how could he? You’ve been away for collage and he had been deployed.

“ I have to be honest, your face looks sickly thinner, and you just don’t seem like you..” Caleb spoke.

Winter could be rough sometimes but you had been falling apart just a soon as the wether started to get colder. You had more than enough people around you that gave you comfort and all the love you needed yet it was still so cold without him. This was about the time Phillip and yoh started messing around talking more, going out, eventually sleeping together to him coming to your family’s Christmas party. Spending the new year together and soon enough becoming a couple. But now he wasn’t with you anymore, you never hated the cold as much as you did right now the Christmas light that’s hung from the houses and the music that played it made you want to cry and curl up in a ball.

Upon arriving to your family home the big white farm house decorated, walking in you were welcomed by everyone your sisters and other brother. Your mother happily taking you into a hug kissing your face, then your father he smiled lightly at you hoping to maybe get a hug maybe even a hello but you just nodded at him giving him a half smile.

“I know mama but I’m tierd and have a raging headache.” You spoke to your mother as she tried getting you to get some food, saying the same as your brother that you looked sickly and food was what you needed. She soon gave up letting you escape to your room for the rest of the night.

Opening your doors it looked the same besides the white Christmas lights hung around your room giving it a little bit of light, but in your bed laid a small present and letter with a note on top of it ‘made sure your daddy didn’t get to it - love mama’. Made sure he didn’t get to it? Putting the note to the side you took off your big jacket hanging it on your closed door along with your boots.

Walking up to it it was a small gift wrapped up in sparkly blue paper with a gold ribbon. There was a letter under it so you opened that first it read.

“With you I was so warm you were the source of my warmth and just as I knew it you were gone. It got so cold, did it for you? I have so much I was to ask and tell you I know, everything reminds me of you I find you in every small thing. But this was my favorite, something that reminded me you were my warmth my Sun. So every time you feel cold remember this gift. Merry Christmas My dear.

-Lip”

You read through the note the small tears falling off your face onto the paper, you analyzed his cursive written so delicately. Slowly placing the letter down you grabbed the box unwrapping it slowly, you wanted to savor this moment. The blue paper tarring off revealing a little velvet box, opening it your eyes met a gold necklace. The necklace having a sun on it.

Pulling the necklace up you pulled its cushion revealing another small note.

“may you shine brighter than the sun ever could.”

Oh Phillip.. the way he could break your heart all over again. You brought the necklace up to your mouth your lips pressing a kiss against the cold material. You sat there for a moment trying to pull yourself together soon enough being able to get up and put the letter and not on your night stand with the box, you had put the necklace on it sitting a little past your collar bone.

For the next week that’s all you could think about, you sat wondering if he was in the country maybe you could get into some sort of contact with him. Your brother was your only option to go to, but you didn’t exactly know how to approach him you weren’t sure if Caleb had Phillips number. But it never hurt to ask right?

Pulling your brother to the side you asked. “Do you have Phillips number? Email? Anything Caleb please.” You pleaded.

He looked at you, you could sense the light feeling of worry, “I don’t..” he spoke. You groaned out in frustration knowing he had changed his number as well but you never thought of getting Phillips email.

“But I do know he’s home.” Caleb said holding his daughter.

He haven’t moved, you mentally screamed at yourself of course he hadn’t moved and you knew where to find him. Was is risky yeah but he definitely couldn’t come here. After hours of mentally preparing yourself you grabbed the two notes along with an old box that held more letters that you had written and he had written. you borrowed your sisters keys walking out the door. The drive seemed so dreadfully long you began to think maybe you should go back doing this all you would be doing is causing more problems. But you couldn’t let the thought of your fathers disapproval hold you back anymore. You were grow and able to make your own decisions either is be physically or mentally, your love life had both to do with your father. But as of now you risked throwing away your relationship with your father for a man. A man that treated you so gently, a man who even spent months away still communicated so damn well, a man who made sure you stayed focused on the things you wanted to do, a man that loved every inch of you and could handle your mood swings. Maybe it would all be worth it in the end, maybe your father would turn out to be right to remove him from your life that was a risk you were willing to take.

Glancing over at the clock it was almost 10 when you pulled you to his gate. His property was covered in snow a path way could been seen of his truck coming in and out, you could see the light in his house but there were no Christmas decorations on display. Opening the door the cold air hit you as you opened the gate quickly getting back in the car driving up next to the his GMC.

Taking one more deep breath you turned off the car. Getting out walking up his porch, the sound of the dogs barking made you smile light you finally heard his voice telling them to quiet down and ushering them into the side room. His footsteps quickly came back the sound of the locks of the door being unlocked.

His face soften as soon as his eyes meet yours, silence not a word. The cold December air blowing but it didn’t seem as bad as before, it wasn’t freezing. His blue eyes looked over you gently taking you in his hand reaching out he pulled you inside quickly closing the door behind you. He’s hand didn’t leave your arm, he just continued to look at you he looks as if this was his breaking point that he had been just a cold with out you.

“You can’t be here..” he whispered, his brows frowned.

You stood there looking at him with big eyes that if you were to look away he would disappear. “I got you gift Lip…” you said quietly watching his face closely looking for any signs he didn’t want you here. But there wasn’t anything.

“Surprised your dad didn’t get to it first…”

“My mom did, she put it on my bed.” You reassured.

You saw the corner of his lips rise a bit. His hand didn’t leave your arm you felt his thumb start rubbing against your sleeve lightly. Neither of you needed to speak as of now just needed this to be in each others space, the comfort of each other was all you needed.

You felt his warm hand touch you, the coldness that covered your face absorbing his warmth. “You’re not taking care of yourself are you..?” He asked his eyes running over your features.

He could saw how full you’d become you didn’t have that glow he saw you with last, the bags under your eyes still noticed under your makeup. He could tell your habits of self care had changed, he let his other hand leave your arm touching your face. He was so gentle with you his calloused hand held your face close, you wanted nothing but to pull him in and feel his lips on yours but you controlled yourself just letting the moment pass.

“Lip..” you spoke softly.

He hummed, “Do you think we can try again-” you said he quickly gave you a look.

“You know what your dad-”

“No, no I don’t care what he thinks I will make sure you keep your rank. I’m old enough to make my own decisions especially when it come to my love life. Phillip your all I want, I mean that I can’t see myself with anyone else we both know this would happen me right back on your front step.” You said your hand laying on top his forearm.

He knew you where right he’ll you both said I love you when he left. He knew sending you a gift would bring you right back to him, shit if he could have done it the other way around he would’ve been on your front step as soon as you got back from college. Little did you know he had fallen apart just as much as you, but he managed it differently. You both knew that being with each other right now was enough to build that warmth once again.

Five months that’s how long you both went without eachother, but it wasn’t the same no letters, no calls nothing. And you where right your father had no reason to control your love life, and Phillip knew how much you meant to Shepherd he wouldn’t let his little girl leave compromise was something he could work with.

His lips came close to yours, your lips quivering just to feel the touch of his chapped lips. He waited ther watching you hold back from kissing you “Are you sure?”

You nodded, “No darlin’ I need you to use your words..” he whispered his hot breath hitting your lips making you lick them slightly.

“Yes, Im sure.”

That was all he needed to hear his lips touching yours softly letting himself sink into your kiss, you put the box to the side letting your hand wrap around his neck him adjusting moving his hands dow to your waist holding you in a tight embrace as you both kissed. God did you miss his taste, the strong coffee and whisky always seemed to linger on his lips such a different combination but so addicting.

To put it simply you didn’t go home that night.

His arm wrapped around you as you laid on his chest. For once you were warm again, warm with him. But the peace has to me distrusted at some point, you phone buzzed again groaning you realized you still have your sisters car your location is off and you’ve been gone all night.

Quickly getting up you rushed over to your sweat pants grabbing your phone out of the. ‘23 missed called Mama’, ‘16 messages Nessa’ and ‘54 missed calls Daddy’. Shit..

For all they knew you where dead. “Whats wrong Darlin’?” You heard lips voice say.

“Nobody knows where I’m at.” You spoke sending a text to your mother and Sister quickly.

“You didn’t tell them where you were goin’? What bout nes?” He asked sitting up.

You shook your head wiping your eyes putting your phone upside down on his dresser giving your full attention back to you.

Through out the morning you both caught up, the two of you catching up. So much had happen in the last five months you opens up about your mental health throughout it and the downfall of your and your fathers relationship that you had turned 24 and lived in campus now your apartment from before empty and most of that stuff in a storage unit and at home. Also That you even made a attempt to move on failing horribly, he admitted the same that he couldn’t find a smile that lit him up. That he was going down mentally as well this made you two realize that maybe you two were co dependent on each other but also just heart broken.

“What do you plan on telling your father?” Phillip spoke sipping on his coffee his hand on the small of your back.

“Well he’s not gonna like what I have to say honestly but I could careless and I plan on taking you if that alright?” You explained picking at your breakfast.

He hummed “ I wont get shot on sight right?” He half joked.

You slapped the back of your hand to his chest playfully. “Shut up. Plus mama keeps them locked away when we have guests because she has curious grandbaby’s for their safety and now yours.” You smiled at him kissing his cheek softly.

“Let do this yeah?” He said giving you a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, as long as your with me.” You said softly your voice slightly shaky.

“Always.”

You both had driven separately him following behind you, he did the same while walking into your family home stayed behind you as you gave your keys back to your sister. Nessa giving you a look as she saw the man, your mother shaking her head slightly “he’s in his study upstairs.” She said he face turning to Phillip giving him a sympathetic smile. She knew all hell was about the break loose.

Walking into your fathers study he saw you the relived happy look quickly changing.

“What is-”

“He’s here because I asked him to, because I went to go see him after 5 months of no contact.” You said cutting your father off.

He stood up going to say something but you quickly spoke before him.

“Sit down. —For a man who raised me to be independent you hind me back. It was never him, or me is was you. Because your scared to lose me and if you couldn’t tell when you told him to leave me I lost all sorts of respect for you you lost me right then and there.” You said, you heart racing.

“I want to make this clear i really do dad. I am 24 years old, one of the highest and hardest worker in my classes and through out the years. I have done everything to please you and when I finally have something of my own you take it from me. You— you threaten his rank a rank he’s spent years to get to something that means so fucking much to him I made sure he picked that because if I didn’t he would have dropped that job turned in his rank and gone home to me. But you couldn’t come to that fact that I a grown woman had found someone I loved I’m not naïve dad.” You spoke sternly you didn’t want to cry but god was your heart beating out of your chest.

“I need you to understand that if you want to continue to see me you will treat him with respect in and out of the base. You will not make any remarks about my relationship about him you will keep your negative opinions to yourself because you are the only one that has a problem. And if you don’t I will leave, I’ll keep in contact with mom but I will not. I will not fucking speak to you do you understand.” You spoke looking into your fathers eyes.

His brows frowned but he nodded “I understand.” He spoke softly.

“I really hope you do..” because if he didn’t you wouldn’t talk to him maybe ever and that hurt you. But he can’t control you and you had to make that clear.

You walked around his desk hugging him your fathers arms holding you tightly. Even if you were a daddy’s girl he was the only man that had broke your heart, and that’s what hurt the most. He knew how bad he had hurt you yet didn’t regret what he did but now he had to come to terms with it, you weren’t his babygirl anymore.

But that you were Phillip Graves, that man would hold your heart gently never seeking to break it.

Winter wasn’t sad anymore, yet the joy had come back to it. Spending the remainder of Christmas break with Phillip and your family, everyone officially meeting him as your boyfriend. You had your glow back, crazy how one person can bring you back so quickly. There was no thought of him leaving again he wanted to down every last moment with you, and he planned on it. The winter once again had become your favorite.

And you weren’t cold without him anymore.

Soo here’s part two I know it’s not alottt of Phillip and reader but I wanted it to be dramatic and I love a Christmas/winter themed fic!

[jo-harrington]

This is a weird Store Manager Verse thing that will never make it into the larger story.

Store Manager Verse started with me revisiting my journey as a retail store manager but then evolved into something about…sharing food memories and experiences with someone new through Eddie and SM’s not-dates. Again, some based on personal experiences.

TW: Food/Eating, and maybe some personal growing up italian american experiences but…I’m in my feelings tonight so I need the overarching theme of showing affection through food. (Im crying into my dinner, please leave me alone).

Tonight for dinner I’m eating Chef Boyardee. Obviously the thought in this fandom immediately goes to Eddie.

I have had Chef Boyardee a grand total of once in my life before tonight. I was five years old. It was a jarring contrast versus my nonna’s homemade ravioli, and even more jarring still because she had just passed away. It was an emotional experience, and I vowed never to eat it again.

So let’s imagine now…you’re the Claire’s Store Manager now. Far away from home and living on your own. No family to cook with you, you just have your little handwritten recipe book that went from your grandma to your grandpa to you. All the family recipes, even those you haven’t memorized yet.

And here’s Eddie, who is helping you embrace your newfound independence and identity, one convenience store snack at a time. He’s enjoying seeing the brightness in your eyes and the joy. And one Sunday, after you promised to make pasta for him…you have the worst and the longest day. It was a horrible Sunday, everything that could go wrong did, including several consecutive piercings with screaming babies.

“Don’t worry Sweetheart,” Eddie soothes after hours as he’s giving you a much-needed hug. “It’s just a bad day.” He’s had his share of them now, and you reassured him after all of them.

“I just…can’t make dinner tonight,” you tell him. “I know you were looking forward to it.”

Carbonara sauce and heaps of parm. You were looking forward to it too.

“How about I take care of dinner tonight. Don’t worry. Lemme make a stop and I’ll meet you at your place.”

And he does.

He arrives at your apartment laden with bags from Bradley’s Big Buy. You expected some kind of greasy bag from a drive thru, so it’s a surprise when he sits you down on your couch with a glass of lemonade and takes full ownership of the kitchen.

You hear the pots banging, the oven going, dishes clacking.

And it smells pretty good. You’re intrigued. You knew Eddie’s cooking repertoire by now and while he certainly aced Home Ec, this didn’t seem like his wheelhouse. Color you impressed.

“Alright, close your eyes, no peeking,” he tells you. Throws a dish towel at your face to really make sure you don’t look. And he bustles out of the kitchen, juggling plates and a tray and a handful of cutlery.

Then he tells you it’s safe to look and it’s…

Easy Cheese on Crackers, and a Sara Lee All Butter Pound Cake that he’d warmed in the oven, and two bowls of Spaghetti-O’s.

You can’t help but laugh. A silly little giggle. Your heart…so full.

“Eddie this is…”

“I did good didn’t I? We haven’t had any of this.”

He’s beaming.

How can you tell him…that you hate Chef Boyardee?

You tried it once. Begged for it at the store. But it was the antithesis of your upbringing. Of your grandma in the basement kitchen making homemade sausage once a week or grandpa who came home from the home from his factory job and opened can after can of tomatoes to make a big pot of sauce for the whole family.

He let you take a heel of a loaf of bread to dunk as it bubbled on the stove. A secret to be kept between the two of you. None of your cousins ever got the honor.

How could canned pasta ever hold a candle to that?

Still you fawn over the dinner, over Eddie’s efforts. You fully savor the tacky, savory easy cheez on ritz and even pretend you’re being a little naughty by indulging in dessert first with the pound cake.

You just can’t hide your lackluster reaction when it’s time to put the pasta…if you can call it that…into your body.

“This is a treat,” Eddie explains enthusiastically. “Mom didn't really like the Beef Ravioli but Spaghetti-os were her favorite. And then when she was gone, Rick always had a few cans in the cupboard to surprise me for an after school snack. Shit I’m pretty sure he still does.”

He scarfs down the delicacy and your stomach turns further when you realize…

You cant disappoint him like this.

So you load up the spoon and you cringe a little as you raise it to your mouth. And you think about…Eddie being more important than your stupid snobbish childhood.

He stares at you as you take that first bite.

And it’s…perfect.

You’re not at the stove with your grandpa. You’re not with your family. You’re with Eddie. A different experience but nonetheless important and special.

You can see him sitting at the table after school, doodling on his homework sheets instead of doing math as he shoveled spoonfuls of the too-sweet sauce and noodles onto his mouth. You can see Rick mixing a pitcher of Country Time lemonade for Eddie’s mom so she could kick her feet up and listen to records with an ice cold glass after her shift. You can see them all enjoying pound cake on a special occasion; maybe Eddie getting an A on a test or his mom’s birthday or something.

It’s his life, his history that he shares with you willingly. Just like you share yours so openly with him.

“Well?” He asks. “Verdict?”

And what else could you say? But how you feel? About the spaghetti-os. About the little ritual the two of you had started. About…about Eddie himself, even though you couldn’t admit it outright just yet.

“I love it.”

[yourlocalghoulette]

Chapter 2~ Take On Me

Series Masterlist~ Main Masterlist~Meet the horses~

Warnings- eventual smut so MDNI! pretty much just fluff, reader has trauma, language, slow burn, flirting, relationship building

w/c: 3k

A/N~ part 2 is hereee! im literally so excited to be writing this story. part 3 is already in the works! please reblog, it always helps! Lmk if you want to be on the taglist:))

It was only when you got Joel’s number and scheduled your first work day that it started feeling real. Doing this, being around horses again, the thing that hurt you more than anything. 

Well, it wasn’t the horses that hurt you. It was the way you were forced to push your limits with them. The way you were yelled at if you didn’t do something right. The way your stomach sank every time you were forced to use an unneeded pair of spurs on a horse.

Sleep doesn’t come easy Thursday night, the night before the long-awaited first day. You toss and turn in your bed, palms clammy and forehead sweaty. You kick off the matcha-colored bedspread you were wrapped in and sit up in bed, trying to take deep breaths to clear your head. You glance at your phone. 2:00 AM. If you know Sōl well enough, she’s probably at a party. She definitely won’t answer until morning. 

So you text the one person who also might not be awake but still understands. Joel.

You click on the chat that only a few formal messages have been exchanged in and wonder if you’re being too impulsive. What is he going to think about you texting him at two in the morning? Your mind clouded with sleepiness and delusion, you text him anyway.

You- sorry for texting so late. having second thoughts about tmrw. 

To your surprise, the ‘read’ icon pops up as soon as you send it. 

Joel- i understand how you feel. are you wanting to cancel tomorrow? i was looking forward to it.

Did you want to cancel? Your brain is in a frenzy. He’s looking forward to it, you think over and over.

You- idk. i think still want to come tomorrow but I’m gonna take it slow:)

Joel- that makes sense and it’s totally good with me. can’t blame ya for feeling reluctant. you can pace things as slow as you want, ok cowgirl? 

The nickname jumped off of your screen at you and butterflies take off inside your stomach. 

You- ok cowboy;) thanks. excited to see u and the horses tmr!

Joel- likewise. now get some sleep, cowgirl. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you turn off your phone. The conversation was short but sweet and oddly comforting. 

You silently pad over to the kitchen and quickly make a cup of chamomile tea with lots of honey. While you drink it, you shamelessly open the stable’s website and scroll to the picture of Joel and Sarah. You look closely at Joel’s left hand, resting over Sarah’s shoulder. 

No ring.

Ok, he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean much. He could still be dating, you tell yourself. Even with that possibility, you catch yourself smiling softly at the photo, staring into Joel’s dark brown eyes. Soft and comforting, like the tea you’re drinking. You sigh and walk slowly back to bed, rubbing your eyes which at this point are bloodshot from tiredness.

With Joel’s messages imprinted in your head, you quickly fall asleep.

“Un-fucking-believable. I gave you one. Job. ONE job! To win the goddamn gold medal. And what did you do? You knocked over FOUR jumps. You are a dissapointment to this team. To the profession of jumping.”

“Please- I-I’m sorry, the horse was acting weird! Probably because you made me whip him when he doesn’t need it!”

“Don’t use those goddamn tears on me. Maybe I should show you how a whip feels.”

You wake up three hours later in a cold sweat, your face streaked with tears. You breathe heavily, your hands shaking with each breath. You run your hands over your face. 

“It’s just a memory,” you whisper over and over to yourself. You try to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, calming yourself down.

Sometimes you wish you don’t have to wake up in an empty bed, no one by your side to comfort you. It stings when you think about the last time someone was in your bed. 

You shake the memories away for right now. Taking one last deep breath to attempt to ground you, you climb out of bed. You skip breakfast, not sure if you would be able to keep any food down with the amount of nerves flitting in your stomach. 

You brush your teeth and throw on some mascara quickly, your hands still shaky and making it difficult. You put on a black tank top and faded boot cut jeans, along with a loose red flannel because it can get cold in the early Texas mornings.

It’s 6:00 on the dot when you slide on your steel-toed work boots, tucking them under your jeans. You grab your keys and a granola bar just in case and head out the door.

As you struggle to start your old pickup truck, second thoughts and anxieties start to fill your mind once again. You struggle to push them out of your head, filling it instead with the thought that you get to see Joel again. Nevertheless, your hands shake around the wheel as you drive the short drive to Sarah’s Stables. 

When you pull into the driveway, Joel is sitting outside the barn on the concrete bench, shaking his leg with a nervous expression on his face. You step out of your truck and stride over to Joel as he stands up, trying to put on a confident smile even though the last thing you feel is confident. 

“Morning,” Joel grins, shaking your hand firmly. His hand lingers on yours a little longer than it should before he pulls away. 

“G’morning, cowboy,” you tip an invisible hat, and he returns the gesture. He leads you into the barn, gesturing you to follow with his hand.

“Did’ya get any sleep last night?” He asks with a hint of concern in his voice, making your heart melt. 

You shrug. “Kind of. And I’m really sorry for texting you so late- or, early? I didn’t really have anyone else to text.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joel waves it off. “I liked it, having someone to talk to even for a bit. I’m always up past 2 doing paperwork and ordering feed and all that shit.”

“Good to know,” you grin, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. You enter the barn, immediately walking up to the small Shetland pony’s stall. “Hey, buddy,” you coo, gently tracing the long stripe down his face. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

Joel chuckles, leaning next to you on the stall door. “That’s Orion. Rescued him along with the percheron, Amadeus, from an animal hoarder.”

“So you’ve had a rough time with humans, huh, bud?” You nod understandingly. “I get it.”

“Very. I get it too,” Joel says softly. “So. Let’s get to work, huh? I’m gonna show you the different feed mixes for each horse. Not sayin’ you’ll have to feed ‘em every time you’re working here. We’ll feed the horses then I’ll introduce you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds perfect. It feels weird, being at a barn after so long of avoiding horses, y’know?” you sigh softly. “Is it too soon to say I have a good feeling about you and this barn? Like…I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels different.”

Joel nods knowingly, toying absentmindedly with Orion’s forelock. “Not at all. I get it,” he says understandingly. His eyes soften as he watches you interact with Orion, a slight faraway look on your face. “You doin’ okay, cowgirl?”

You nod, straightening up. “Yeah. Sorry. Just…zoned out.”

“No need to apologize,” Joel smiles softly. A tall cinnamon colored Tennessee Walker down the aisle kicks his stall door in impatience. “Let’s do this.”

In less than 20 minutes, the horses are fed and happily nickering into their feed buckets. Joel had written down the feed mixes for each individual horses with care and posted it on the wall so you didn’t have to memorize them right away. You can tell how much Joel Miller cares for his horses. 

“We can turn the horses out now.” Joel tosses you two halters, a purple nylon one and a teal rope one. “Think you can handle two horses at once?”

“Totally.” You sling the halters over your shoulder. 

“The rope halter is for Whiskey, the Tennessee Walker and the nylon is for Dottie, the Appaloosa mare. Stalls 5 and 6.”

In no time, you worked together to get all six horses out to the pasture. It’s picturesque, a large green field with a tall white fence surrounding the perimeter. It feels like a daydream watching the horses frolic aorund with eachother, enjoying their taste of freedom after being caged in a stall for the night. 

You and Joel sit on the lower bar of the fence, arms resting along the top piece with your head on top. Observing the horses’ behaviors carefully, you can see with the way the chestnut Quarter Horse gelding pins his ears and threatens any horse that gets close to his pile of hay that he’s top dog. The dominant horse, the leader.  A comfortable silence falls between you and Joel, as you both let out a collective sigh of relief as the stress of morning feeding washes off. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Joel sighs, breaking off the silence. 

“Gorgeous,” you agree, glancing over at Joel. His soft brown eyes are full of adoration for his horses.

He gestures towards the chestnut Quarter Horse. “That right there is Magnum. Total powerhouse. Used to be a ‘coon hunting horse.”

You giggle, staring over at Magnum’s solid build and shiny coat. “People still hunt for raccoons?”

Joel shrugs incredulously. “I guess. His owner gave him to me because he wasn’t getting enough attention. He was ridden twice a week and left to rot by himself in a field the rest of the time. He’s obviously dom, as you’ve probably noticed.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “I noticed. I can tell he has a strong personality, too.” You grin, looking over at Joel.

“Sure does,” Joel smiles back proudly. Your shared gaze lasts a little too long before you turn your head away, looking back at the horses and trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. 

Joel introduces you to the rest of the horses; Amadeus, the percheron, Dottie, the petite Appaloosa mare, and Arizona, the gorgeous flaxen-colored mustang/Arabian cross. 

“Say, have you eaten anything for breakfast yet?” Joel asks, holding out his hand to help you up from your perches on the fence. 

You’re sure this man is going to be the death of you. You shake your head sheepishly, gently grabbing his hand as you stand up. His grip is soft and warm, hands calloused from years of hard work. “Not really,” you say as you let go of his hand. “I was too nervous.”

“What, am I that scary to ya’, cowgirl?” He grins cheekily, nudging your shoulder playfully as you both walk back into the barn.

“Pfft,” you roll your eyes as you nudge him back. “No, not scared. Terrified.” You stick your tongue out at him. 

“Ha, ha, darlin’. Why don’t we go get some breakfast? Gotta fuel up before cleanin’ the stalls.”

You shrug. “Sure. Where were you thinking?”

“Home Grounds is a good coffee shop, good bakery stuff too,” Joel offers. 

“No fucking way,” your eyes widen in surprise. “I work there! How have I never seen you there?”

“You must not be on the clock when I go. I’m sure I’d remember a face like yours,” Joel says softly, then catches himself, clearing his throat. “Sorry, that was-”

“It’s fine,” you wave it off. “Let’s go. We can take your truck. Mine’s a little…messy right now.”

Joel chuckles. “Sure as hell can’t be as bad as mine.”

Soon, you’re driving with Joel to the coffee shop, Take On Me by A-ha playing quietly through the speakers.

“I love this song!” You smile widely, opening the window and resting your arm outside. 

“Me too,” Joel turns up the stereo. “You sing at all, cowgirl?”

You shake your head quickly, eyes wide in mock horror. “Not at all. Do you, cowboy?”

“A bit. I play a smidge of guitar, too,” he smirks. 

“Oh, really? I’m gonna have to hear some of these Joel Miller guitar skills sometime,” you grin.

Joel shakes his head, a smile growing on his face as he pulls into the coffee shop driveway. “Believe me, I hype up my skills wayyy too much.” He turns off the truck and quickly runs around to your side of the truck to open your door. Butterflies take off in your stomach as he does this. 

Hiding your flustered look, you deadpan him, eyes rolling. “Dude,” you grin, climbing out and he shuts the door behind you. 

“What?” He opens the coffee shop door for you too. “Momma always taught me to be a gentleman.”

“And my mom always taught me to never trust men,” you grin cheekily.

“I can change that,” he side eyes you. 

Trying to ignore his words, you wave at a coworker. “Hey, Jess!” You call to her, walking up to the counter. 

“Hey, girlie. Who’s that?” She asks slyly, eyeing Joel. “New boyfriend?”

“Uh, no,” you say quickly before Joel can hear. “I’m working for him. He owns a horse barn.”

“You’re back to horses?” Jess inquires, cocking a brow. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, okay?” You spin around to face Joel. “What are you getting?”

“Just a black coffee and blueberry muffin, but don’t worry, cowgirl. I gotchu.” He starts taking out his wallet but you playfully swat his arm.

“Don’t. Please. I get employee discount anyway.”

Joel sighs in defeat, holding up his hands in mock offense. “Fine. But I’m paying next time.”

Next time, next time, next time….

After you order, the black coffee for him and a cold brew for you, you go to put your card in the reader to notice Joel’s card is already there. “Joel!” You mutter, giving him a disapproving look. 

“Hey, I’m tryna be nice, okay?” He chuckles. 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks, really.”

The atmosphere felt charged with an unspoken tension as you both sat at a small table by the window, the warm sunlight filtering in. Joel's eyes seemed to hold a certain depth, a familiarity that stirred something within you.

"So, tell me about yourself, cowgirl," Joel said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

You took a sip of your cold brew, gathering your thoughts. "There’s not a whole lot to tell. Well, there is, but not a lot I want to go into right now. I fell in love with horses after riding a pony at a fair, and it kind of exploded from there. I started off riding Western and doing gymkhanas, then switched over to hunter/jumpers. That was obviously a huge change. I exelled really quickly in that, but as you probably know, being the best doesn’t mean you’re treated the best. A lot of shit happened at those barns, and I quit when when I was 18. People called me selfish and self-absorbed for quitting, which is what i believed for awhile. But my mental health imrpoved a lot after quitting and I came to accept the fact that it was a good thing.”

Joel nodded, his expression understanding. "I get that. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we need to take a step back to reassess things."

"Yeah, exactly," you replied, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding. "But now I'm back, and I'm hoping things will be different this time."

"I'm sure they will be," Joel said with a reassuring smile. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, cowgirl."

You felt heat creeping up your cheeks at his compliment, quickly taking another sip of your cold brew to hide your reaction. "Thanks, Joel. I appreciate that."

The conversation flowed effortlessly between you, covering everything from your favorite books to your shared love of old John Wayne western movies. With each passing moment, you found yourself becoming more and more drawn to Joel, his easygoing nature and genuine kindness pulling you in.

Before you knew it, your cups were empty, and it was time to head back to the barn. As you walked side by side with Joel, the familiar feeling of nervous excitement bubbled up inside you once again.

As soon as you walk back into the barn, he turns on a 70s playlist and tosses you a mucking fork. “Ready to muck some stalls, cowgirl?”

The music fills the barn with a nostalgic vibe as you take the mucking fork from Joel with a grin. "Born ready," you reply, matching his playful tone.

Together, you fall into a rhythm of cleaning the stalls, the repetitive motion oddly soothing as you work side by side. Joel hums along to the music, occasionally breaking out into a soft whistle that echoes through the barn.

As you work, you can't help but steal glances at Joel, admiring the way his muscles flex beneath his shirt with each movement. There's something comforting about his presence, a sense of safety and warmth that you haven't felt in a long time.

Before you know it, the stalls are clean, and the horses are happily munching on fresh hay. You wipe the sweat from your brow, feeling a sense of satisfaction at a job well done.

"Thanks for your help, cowgirl," Joel says, giving you a grateful smile as he leans against the stall door.

"No problem," you reply, returning his smile. "It was actually kind of fun."

Joel chuckles, pushing himself off the door. "Glad to hear it. You've got a talent for this, you know?"

You feel a swell of pride at his words, a sense of validation that you haven't felt in a long time. "Thanks, Joel. That means a lot coming from you."

He gives you a nod of appreciation before glancing at his watch. "Well, I hate to cut this short, but I've got some paperwork to take care of. Think you can handle things on your own for a bit?"

You nod confidently, eager to prove yourself. "Of course. I'll hold down the fort."

"Great," Joel says, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit. And hey, if you need anything, just give me a shout."

With that, he disappears into the office, leaving you alone in the barn. You take a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination coursing through your veins.

You may have started the day with doubts and anxieties, but now, as you stand in the quiet of the barn surrounded by the gentle sounds of the horses, you feel a sense of purpose wash over you.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

The Beginning Of The End Series

Summary: You were once a “honeybee”, now you’re simply a “bunny”. Can an alliance and friendship still last after one’s former lover became the current lover of another?

Pairings: ELP x Reader x Jay White

Warnings: +18

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @pleasantpastels

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

When I found myself alone in the hotel room that afternoon it all hit me like a brick wall. I had barely gotten to Japan and I already felt exhausted, my body ached, my heart was heavy but my mind was racing. After Riley showed me the text he received after I slept last night, I had no doubt that Jay had also gotten one.

I thought of every possibility I could find but still none of them made sense. Riley made a comment in the morning about how he thinks that Jay is behind all of this but in my heart I knew better than that.

Still I found myself here, in front of his hotel room, knocking on his door so I could talk to him about the texts and do the one thing I promised myself I would never do: willingly come after Jay.

Jay had finished pulling his sweatpants up his hips when someone knocked on his door. Frowning at the unsolicited visit at this time of the afternoon, Jay finished squeezing the excess water from his hair with a towel and tossed the damp fabric on top of his bed.

Choosing to look for a clean t-shirt later, he opened the door dressed just in his sweatpants, with his damp hair sticking to his chest.

“Yeah?” He asked before opening the door widely. His voice was completely lost, words were unable to form on his tongue, heart beating fast with both surprise and happiness, his mind nothing more than a white canvas.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, please?”

Jay’s body reacted as if on autopilot, he nodded in confirmation and stepped aside so you could come into his room. It all felt like a dream, a dream painted in watercolors, with soft lines but vibrant colors, so soothing and breathtaking.

“Are you really here? I’m not dreaming, am I?” His hand cupped your cheek, calloused thumb caressing your soft skin, gray eyes sparkling with fulfillment and disbelief.

“Jay, please” Your hands closed around his wrist, slowly pulling his burning touch away from your face.

It took Jay a few seconds to regain his composure but once he felt somewhat in control of his body again he smiled sadly “I’m sorry, I don’t know what took over me” Jay’s eyes focused on your face, and as he felt himself starting to drown in your eyes again he spoke “Anyway, would you like to sit down?” He pointed towards the messy bed before taking a spot on top of the fumbled sheets but you only shook your head in return “No, thank you”

“How can I help you?”

Your eyes momentarily darted to the floor, as a way to ground yourself to whatever answer he might give you. “Jay” You refocused your gaze on his gray eyes. Eyes that were never able to lie to you, even when his mouth did. “I’m gonna ask you something, but I need you to be dead honest with me”.

The urgency in your voice had Jay’s heart tightening with worry, “Honeybee, you’re scaring me”

“Promise me, Jay”

“I promise” He quickly replied “What happened?”

“Did you send me or Riley any kind of text messages from an unknown number?”

“No. Why would I sen-” The words died on Jay’s lips as the memories from last night hit him, “I got a text last night from an unknown number too. They asked what would I do to get you back, and at first I thought it was a joke because what kind of weirdo would send someone a message at 3 am-”

“You were awake at 3 am?”

“Yeah, I had a nightmare and woke up a little after 3:30, why?”

This was one of the things that always frightened you when you were together, the synchrony. Unexplainable synchronized occurrences: dreams, nightmares, pains, thoughts, sicknesses, feelings…it was all tied together by a silver string that somehow managed to connect you and Jay even when you were thousands of miles away from each other. Synchrony that apparently had never died, even though your relationship did.

It only took a glance at his direction for Jay to understand what had happened.

“You had a nightmare and woke up at the same time too” He said in a whisper “What was yours about?”

“You, me and Riley. At a dirt crossroad and…blood” You sighed heavily “A lot of blood. Yours?”

“Charlie, you and I. Then eventually Lisa” Jay felt his mouth starting to taste bitter after speaking the last name. “Charlie was…he was our son…yours and mine. We lived in our old apartment and we were lying on the couch, you were breastfeeding him and had your back against my chest, I was twirling your hair with my fingers and we were talking about taking Charlie to the park when someone knocked on the door. It was Lisa, she took him away from us, and started screaming at the top of her lungs that he was her child not ours. Just hers” Jay felt the same shiver running down his spine again “And, ummm…you were-”

The loud knocking had both yours and Jay’s heart beating frantically with fright.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were expecting someone” You quickly apologized

Jay’s eyebrows frowned, as he bolted from the bed “But I’m not” He walked the small distance between the bed and door.

His hand closed around the doorknob and once his eyes spotted the person standing in the hallway his frown got deeper as he spat “You? What the fuck are you doing here?!”

There was something bothering Riley ever since you told him you were going to ask Jay about the text messages. A lingering, burning feeling had settled in his chest and gave no indications of leaving anytime soon. Similar to an irritated patch of skin that one continues to incessantly scratch, causing the burning sensation to grow and spread throughout the uncontaminated flesh, this feeling of anger and worthlessness was taking over Riley’s rational side to a point where he stopped his workout just so he could go back to your room.

*If she wanted to stay with him, she would never have left him in the first place! And if she wanted to cheat on me with him, she wouldn’t have been honest with me and said she would go there and talk to him. Just think about it, if she had anything to hide she wouldn’t be so upfront and honest about her actions* Riley thought to himself as he pressed the button to the 7th floor.

“She loves me, she’s with me, she loves me” He repeated to himself like a mantra, until the elevator doors opened and the screaming coming from Jay’s room made Riley whisper “Bunny”, and so, he ran towards the direction of the deafening screams.

“What the fuck are you doing in my man’s room, bitch?” Lisa screamed. She took quick steps towards you before Jay closed his grip around her arm, roughly pulling her back. “Respect her!” Jay warned, he stepped in front of Lisa, blocking her view of you as you stood behind him. “Where’s my son?”

“With Keiko. I told her I was coming so she came and picked him up so I could stay with you alone for a bit” Lisa purred, eyelashes batting at Jay as her hands caressed his bare chest .

Jay pushed her hands away from his body with a grunt “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I missed you!”

“I didn’t say you could come here, Lisa!”

“I didn’t know I needed your permission!” She huffed loudly, closing her arms in front of her chest as she asked “Why are you putting on a show, Jay? Why do you want to pretend that our relationship sucks? Is it because of her?”

“Pretend it sucks?” Jay laughed, sarcasm dripping from every word “It does suck, Lisa. As a matter of fact our relationship is a fucking disgrace! A never-ending torture!”

“Jay, please” You pleaded, trying to put some sense into his mind.

You, more than anyone, knew how harsh Jay’s words could be. They’re cold and sharp like a dagger that sinks deeper into your heart after every sentence. When Jay wants, he manages to be the most hurtful, cold and mean person anyone could ever know.

“Honeybee, trust me when I say she deserves every word” Jay’s voice was cold and distant. He kept his deadly gaze fixed on Lisa, so you tried once again.

“She’s the mother of your child, Jay. Choose your words wisely, please”

“Stay out of it, bitch!” Lisa spat at you “What makes you think you can get in between Jay and I? I don’t need your intervention nor your fucking help!” She took a step to the right so she could look at you “If you think that I’ll let you take him away from me, you don’t know me at all. You’ll never have him back!”

“I don’t want him back, Lisa”

“No? What the fuck are you doing here then? You're the one to blame, you know? For everything! I don’t get it, I truly don’t get it, what do you have that’s so charming and attractive that every fucking man seems to be obsessed with you? You have Riley now, don’t you? You love him, no? So why don’t you let him obsess over you and stop running after my fiancé?!

“I don’t run after Jay, Lisa. But it would be pointless to explain anything to you because you’re so focused on your own obsession and fantasy that you refuse to see anything remotely different from your own perceptions. As for Riley, please refrain yourself from bringing him into your mess. Our relationship will never be like yours nor will he ever treat me the way Jay treats you and you know why? Because I would never allow a man to treat me so poorly. But I guess people are right when they say that others treat you the way you treat yourself, so I don’t expect any less coming from you” You closed the distance between you and her until you stopped mere inches away from her face.

“You want Jay? Keep him, he’s all yours. But I’ll tell you this only once: keep my relationship and Riley’s name out of your mouth. I do love Riley, although my feelings don't concern you, but don’t you ever make the mistake of blaming me or Riley as the cause for your unhappiness. If you don’t have what it takes to maintain a somewhat normal relationship with someone who deeply despises you, you and Jay are the only ones to blame” You calmly replied before your gaze traveled to the pair of blue eyes standing by the door.

The urgency to defend you gradually turned into admiration and finally an unexplainable lust. Riley had listened to the whole argument and decided to intervene right after Lisa began to spit bitter words at you. But when Riley listened to the “I don’t want him back, Lisa” coming out of your mouth when the other woman accused you of wanting Jay back, Riley instantly froze in place.

Those words poured over him like a bucket of ice water, catching him by surprise before they woke him up to the reality of the one thing he wanted to hear the most: that you don’t want Jay anymore. Your follow up response to Lisa and the way you defended Riley and your relationship made Riley’s cock grow painfully hard.

He once heard his best friend talking about the emotional boners he would get with his wife, like the need to protect her when she felt sad or even when she cried, or the instant hard on he would get when she did something incredibly courageous or protective of him or someone she loved and the action flooded his heart with admiration.

“Those are the ‘love boners’, man. The real ones. When you get one of those with a chick, that’s when you know she’s the woman of your life”,was what his best friend had said to him once on a winter night at their favorite bar in Ontario. At the time, Riley thought this was complete bullshit, I mean how the fuck can you get a boner not from being turned on but from your feelings alone?

However, he understood how now. Because of you he understands how a man can have a true ‘love boner’.

When your eyes met him in that silently deep stare that only you possess, the one that can see directly into his soul, Riley was absolutely certain that the small velvet box he had hidden inside of his bag was the best spent money of his life.

[neolovesneo]

CLAIR DE LUNE.

prince!jaehyun, gardener!reader | romance | secret lovers au, royalty au

note ; haha wow surprise im alive!! so sorry for my inactivity, im trying to balance my life out atm :') to the 3 ppl who requested, i'll finish up your requests asap!!!! tysm for waiting, i feel terrible T^T + requests are closed!

The architecture of the ballroom had always fascinated you – panel after panel of stained French glass rounded together into a translucent dome, allowing in ethereal beams of colored sunlight in the day while soft moonlight reflects off the polished floors in the dusk.

Pillars of marble stretched from the sky-high ceilings, gleaming against the white-and-gold walls in a circle, barely contrasting in color.

And nothing is as wondrous as the view of it all late in the nights of summer. Women of the royal family twirl about gracefully, moonlight bouncing off their dresses overflowing of lace and satin while their partners' mirror their steps, firm arms around their waists.

The orchestra played piece after piece with great emotion, each one so magical that it left you in awe while you secretly listened and watched from afar, harp and piano notes ringing in your ears.

Seeing the people dance was something you could never stop thinking about, envisioning yourself no longer in your dirty gardening uniform, but in the most lavish dress in the kingdom, dancing and laughing to your heart's content along with them.

Truly it was all you had dreamt of - but now that you had it, why did it feel so odd?

Everything started from a rush of events – the one time you finally mustered up the courage to sneak into the empty ballroom at midnight, you had bumped into the sleepless and wandering prince.

Surprised, you had jumped at his presence, fear flooding you as you quickly kneeled down and begged for forgiveness.

And yet to your utter surprise, Jaehyun, the prince, offered his hand to help you get up.

“Worry not.” he had assured you, with a smile so sweet and so lively, neither the thickest honey nor the fiercest flame could compare.

“May I have the pleasure of a dance?”

No song nor words needed to be exchanged that fateful night; it was as if you had found a missing part of yourself. You danced and you danced, your mind and soul naturally fitting with Jaehyun's like a puzzle piece while he kept his hand on the small of your back, the other intertwined with yours.

Since then, the prince and you got closer. Shy and discreet waves exchanged when the royal family had their lunches in the garden, and secret messages sent in paper airplanes led up to your daily midnight waltz with Jaehyun, the empty ballroom echoing the hushed laughter that left your lips from his silly stories.

It was a moment you looked forward to the most, absolute peace and comfort embodying you while Jaehyun held you close, slowly swaying the two of you back and forth to the orchestra pieces burned in your memory.

"What piece are you playing in your mind right now?" Jaehyun whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, which lay across his chest while he swayed the two of you.

"Clair de Lune." you whispered back, the bittersweet melody floating in your mind.

The prince merely hums in reply, and the two of you fall back into comfortable silence. It was like your own little solace of solitude.

"But you know, I have been feeling a bit odd lately." you admit, slowly pulling away from Jaehyun's hold. "How so?" he questions, a furrowed frown on his face.

"I'm not sure. I just feel odd when I'm with you - I've never felt this way before." you mumble, looking up into his eyes.

The February moonlight casts a slight shadow on Jaehyun's cheekbones yet brings a mesmerizing glint into his dark brown orbs. The gaze is intense, but you don't look away.

There's something about his eyes that make you feel even more odd; you feel your heart race, and the blood runs up to your cheeks while you feel butterflies flutter to life in your stomach.

And like the fastest horse in the kingdom dragging the heaviest carriage, it all crashes on to you in a wondrous realization that makes you ponder why you haven't thought of it earlier.

It's not just his eyes that make you feel odd; it's the way they sparkle in delight when he catches sight of you in the gardens, the way they seem to be able to hold their own emotions, the way they look at you whenever you're with him.

It's not just Jaehyun himself that makes you feel odd; it's love.

"That's it." you murmur, a flustered expression of awe creeping onto your face as you look away. "What is it? Am I making you uncomfortable?" Jaehyun asks concernedly, rather worried at how red your face was turning.

"No, you're not making me uncomfortable." you quickly assured him, laughing as you took his hands into yours again.

"I just... really love you." you confess, smiling softly.

The few words bring the brightest smile onto Jaehyun's face, and the tip of his ears turn red from embarrassment.

With a swoop of his arm, he has it wrapped around your waist again, and Jaehyun starts to lead you to dance with him.

There were no guests nor orchestra present, and the chandelier was unlit, but Jaehyun didn't mind - for he loved the peace of being with you, your laughter as the loveliest song he's ever heard and your smile as the brightest star he's ever seen.

Most importantly, he loved you too.

© neolovesneo, 2022.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ Discreet ~

Warnings: fem!reader x dom!3racha, smut, mentions of periods, foursome, voyerism, fingering, hairpulling, use of degrading terms, riding, nicknames, dumbification, penetrative sex (be careful), unprotected sex (BE CAREFUL), masturbation, double penetration, anal sex, creampie, cockwarming, the smuttiest of smuts...

Word count: 3.5 k 

Requested: yiiiip thank u 🧃 anoniee~ 

Note: ok i did more like...u know the days before ones period? am i making any sense? idk i just though that it would be such a hassle to write if the reader had their period so... im just leaving it here and... im gonna hide. 

i feel so bad for jisung in this AKSJS

also im in love with this gif akfhsfksjhf

“No, stop nagging y/n” Bangchan said without turning around in his office chair. The studio contained your three loving boyfriends which were great most of the time but when you had to beg them to fuck you they weren’t the nicest.

“I’m not even on my period yet” you said to Bangchan in a cocky manner, sighing while looking at the backs of the two other boys, each one working on a computer with their headphones on. Bangchan fiddled with his phone before showing you his bright screen.

“But soon it is and according to the app you can start of feel higher levels of pain before your period” Bangchan stated with a half smile.

On his screen was the period tracking app you had shared with the boys but you were surprised to know that Bangchan actually checked it. You tried to grab the phone but he stood up hastily, lifting his arm up so the phone was out of your reach.

“Why did I even share that stupid app with you guys” you huffed, giving up on retrieving the phone and sat down on the leather couch behind the desks. He sat down moments after you and smirked at you. 

“So no, we won’t fuck you because we both know how rough things get, especially when Changbin is riled up” he said turning back to the computer screen.

A bunch of memories zapped through your mind. How they manhandled you and took turns to cum inside you, leaving you nothing but a wrecked and cum- leaking mess. Since both Jisung and Changbin had headphones on they hadn’t heard the conversation. Your realisation was genius. It’s just to ask them about it! Sure, Bangchan would be pissed about it since he was clear on a couple of rules, one of them being to not fuck behind each others backs but you were so needy. Your body ignited with just the though of being touched. Being determined you shuffled over to Changbin and lightly wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. He smiled, moved one side of the headphone off of his ear and turned his head around to face you.

“Everything good, baby?” Changbin asked, looking at you with adoration. 

You smiled back at him and hesitated asking him about the favour but with a slight voice crack you leaned into his ear and said;

“Bangchan is being mean and says that he won’t help me with... w-with my neediness”.

He nodded slightly as his gaze returned to the monitor infront of him, busy with some producing. 

“Babygirl got some wits I see. You thoughts I didn’t hear the conversation you just had with Chan?” he didn’t look at you, clicking and typing away at something. Fuck. How did he hear that?

“But please Binnie~” you wrapped your arms tighter around him and gave him a peck on the cheek but to no avail.

“You don’t know how difficult it is to say no to your pretty face” he finally looked at you and pecked you back on the lips. You laughed slightly at his corny remark and patted him on the shoulder before darting your eyes towards Jisung. He was sitting a bit away from the other boys in a corner, the ice in his americano had melted and diluted the coffee from the warmth in the studio. Changbin put on his headphones again and returned to his work as you sat down on the empty chair next to Jisung and looked at him with puppy eyes.

“What’s up bub?” he rubbed your thigh that was exposed from the fluffy black skirt you were wearing. You rubbed your thighs together, Jisungs hand stuck inbetween them. He laughed quietly to not disturb the other boys. 

“You don’t even need to tell me, I know what you want” he whispered, leaning into you and removing his trapped hand. You bit your bottom lip as you looked at him with innocence in your eyes, scooting closer with your chair. 

Your gaze traveled down his body until it landed on the tent between his legs. The warm touch of his hand grazed closer and closer to your heat that was uncomfortably wet, your panties sticking to your cunt from arousal. You cupped him through his pants, his breath hitched due to the friction. The both of you observed the other boys but thankfully they were deep into their work, their eyes glued to each computer screen, the blue light reflecting on their precious faces. Jisung and you turned back around and caught eye contact with each other to which the both of you laughed inaudibly. He leaned towards you, the hot breath from his mouth hitting against your ear.

“Chan will be so mad” he said with a ambivalent tone, not sure if he wants to receive a scolding from Bangchan after he fucks you. You shook your head from side to side, doing everything to convince him.

“Sungie~ I’m all wet for you. I’ll promise to not tell Chan” your eyes twinkled towards the boy that had removed his headphones and placed them on the keyboard of the silver colored computer. 

“Of course you won’t baby, I trust you” Jisung whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. His fingertips began to graze your wet clothed cunt to which you had to muffle a whine by biting the inside of your cheek. Jisung smirked seeing you so sensitive and needy, ready to risk it all for his dick. Pushing the thin fabric to the side, Jisung felt your leaking wetness and exhaled loudly from excitement wanting to just slam you onto the couch and fuck you senseless. You jerked your head towards he couch, asking him to move to which he looked slowly towards Bangchan frame and agreed. 

The two of you stood up carefully and sat down on the black couch that you had been on moments earlier. Jisung sat down first, the weight of the couch shifting as he sat. You followed shortly, straddling him and facing away from the working boys. Jisung had a mischievous smile plastered on his face and your face was burning at the though of getting fucked by Jisung behind Bangchan. Your hands traveled to Jisung’s belt buckle and with the utmost care you unbuckled it. Jisung helped remove his pants and popping his dick over the band of his black boxers. You let out a breathy whine from just the sight of his veiny dick, the tip cherry red and a string of precum coating the slit. You pumped his length a couple of times, earning a hiss from the dark haired boy before your heated sex hovered above his hard dick. Sneakily you snapped your head towards the working boys and was assured when they were intranced in their work, the subtle klicking and typing creating background noise. Jisung held your hips hard enough to leave red marks the day after before he pushed you down onto his dick. Sparks were flying everywhere in your mind, the feeling of being filled to the brim by Jisung’s girth made you choke on a moan. Jisung gave you time to adjust as you bottomed out, lifting your shirt up just so that your bra covered breasts peeked out. Slowly you bucked your hips against his and the brown eyed boy hissed quietly. Grinding on him you felt the knot of nerve endings being stimulated as Jisung circled your clit with his slightly cold thumb that contrasted with your sopping heat. 

The added pleasure stringed out a string of whines from your lips until Jisung’s big hand covered your mouth, he looked at you with trust in his eyes and you smiled against his cold hand. You held onto his shoulders as you rode his length, your nails digging into the skin as the skirt pooled around your hips and shifted everytime you grinded onto Jisung that was now covering his own moans by clearing his throat. For one second he looked at your pink and red flushed face and then drifted his brown orbs behind you, making sure that neither Changbin or Bangchan glanced backwards. You shut your eyes tightly, Jisung’s pretty face disappearing as a rainbow of colors flashed before your eyes. The pace quickened due to Jisung’s hands being placed on your hips after momentarily removing them to stroke a piece of your hair behind your ear. He guided your cunt up and down his dick, the bouncing impacting the couch that let out a tiny creak. Jisung’s grip was hard on your hips as he let out a breathy moan behind his closed eyes. The knot in your stomach tightened, nearing your release as your mind blank. Both your and Jisung’s head was thrown back, eyes shut and everything tensing up. Just as the bundle of nerve endings was about to unravel with Jisung’s girth grazing your g-spot your hair was suddenly yanked from behind, you held onto the boys sturdy shoulders as a loud yelp forced it’s way out your mouth. 

“Dirty fucking slut” a voice growled behind you as the grip on your hair tightened, holding you with full force by your roots. Your and Jisung’s eyes darted open, panic slowly filling them. The big hand belonged to Bangchan that  was upside down in your sight since he pulled your head backwards. He glared at you with anger, brows furrowed as he spat out;

“Computer screens reflect but the two of you are too stupid for that”. 

He let go of your hair as he shoved you towards Jisung that was terrified of the consequences and quickly lifted you off of him. Changbin turned around due to the commotion and ripped away his headphones upon seeing Jisung shoving his dick back into his jeans. Bangchan grabbed your arm harsh enough to hurt you and lifted you up before slamming you against the white wall of the studio. You felt  Changbin’s and Jisung’s eyes burn into you through Bangchans back. Bangchan’s arm was at the side of your head as he looked down on you with disbelief. 

“I was t-trying to help he-her” Jisung stuttered behind Bangchan but he wasn’t having any of it.

“Shut it” he growled, inches away from your face as his gaze was black. 

Bangchan’s fingertips trailed down your torso before they plunged under the skirt and brushed your cunt that was now even wetter than before thanks to riding Jisung moments earlier. The boy tugged on you panties and they eventually fell down, pooling at your feet. Without warning, two fingers dived into your soaked pussy, a loud moan rolling off your tongue as the return of friction felt like heaven. Your legs automatically seperated but were stopped by the elastic of the panties not going further. His digits hammared into you, pain mixed with pleasure as your back was tightly pressed against the frigid wall. 

Changbin lurked behind Bangchan’s shoulder as Jisung was sitting on the couch helplessly, not wanting to anger Chan further. Changbin gave Bangchan a pat on the shoulder, Bangchans eyes still glued onto you, pure rage filling his dark brown orbs. He moved away upon Changbin’s arrival and instead glared at Jisung as he sat down into his office chair, now turned to face the couch. 

Changbin grabbed your warm and slightly clammy hand and led you to the couch, panties awkwardly grazing along the studio floor. You landed with a thud against the leather couch, Jisung stiff as a plank beside you. Fear charged thorugh your body since you knew how rough Changbin could be at times and you desperatly clutched Jisung, wrapping your arms around him. Bangchan tsked as he shifted closer with his chair and put his foot between the tiny gap seperating you from Jisung.

“You’re only watching tonight, isn’t that right Jisung?” he said, tilting his head slightly.

The boy beside you whined and pouted with his bottom lip sticking out. 

“B-but I didn-t even..” he tried to form a sentence but gave up quickly as a shiver ran down his spine from Bangchan’s fierce presence. 

Changbin removed your clothing in an instant as well as his own, clothing pieces sprawled out on the wooden floor. When the two of you were left in nothing but your underwear he attached his plump lips onto yours, coaxing your tongue by playfully licking your bottom lip. You moaned into the kiss as he fumbled with the bra clasp for a second before releasing you from your clothed prison. The chilly air hardened your exposed nipples and you felt the stares of the three boys in the room. The kiss deepened as Changbin grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer, his other hand hooking onto the edge of your panties and dragging them down. You broke the kiss momentarily to lift your hips upwards so that the panties were removed fully from your body, laying in the puddle of other clothes moments later. Both Jisung and Bangchan were palming themselves through their pants, the both of them visibly hard as the tents between their legs grew. Changbin felt up and down on your thigh and spread your legs apart and layed your down on the couch. It felt so wrong yet so right to be all spread out for them in the studio, their hungry gazes observing your wet sex. 

Changbin removed his boxers in a swift motion and his dick sprang, the red tip hitting his abdomen as his girth made your mouth water. You sat up and looked him mischievously into his eyes before opening your mouth without command. He scoffed at your boldness before grabbing your head by the roots in exactly the same place Bangchan did earlier which stinged with pleasure. Your head was harshly pulled down his length, giving you no opportunity to breath before he started to facefuck you. You grabbed his other hand as tears formed in the corner of your eyes due to his tip hitting the back of your throat making you choke. Changbin liked seeing you like this. Drool and tears running down your red flushed face. You peeked over to Bangchan that had already started stroking himself upon what he saw. You couldn’t help but to stare. The way his veins cascaded down his immense length, how his tip disappeared and reappered through his hand as he was bucking against it. You also managed to take a glance at Jisung whose ears were red, his pants straining his growing erection as he was unable to do anything about it. Changbin noticed you looking around.

“What’s the matter slut? You want us all three?” he cooed at you to which you responded with a slight nod of the head as you hollowed your cheeks, your jawline starting to hurt a bit. Changbin let go of your hair and instead grabbed your face as you pulled back, catching air and coughing with drool on your chin and chest. He leaned down to kiss you once, his tongue feeling soft as his lips hit your swollen ones. A string of spit seperated the two of you when he broke the kiss and slowly pressed up against you, your back hitting the couch. Your legs seperated automatically, already knowing what’s to come before he alined himself with your wet leaky hole. He hissed as he entered your tight pussy, your back arching slightly against the sofa. Jisung shifted uncomfortably in his seat, desperatly trying to get some friction by rubbing against his pants. Changbins pace gained quickly making the couch squeak like it did when you rode Jisung. Your clit was sore from earlier which you only noticed after Changbin placed his thumb on your clit and started rubbing it in fast circular motions, rubbing you raw. Pretty lewd sounds spilled from your lips and filled the studio as your eyes were shut tight from Changbin’s girth fitting perfectly into your pussy, like two puzzle pieces. 

“Look at your little cumslut, taking my dick so good” he cooed arrogantly, trying to make himself heard over your moans.

“P-please Changbin..let me c-cum” you pleaded, a blush creeping onto your face from your bold statement. 

He smirked towards you before looking at Bangchan whose strokes were getting sloppier and turned his head quickly in your direction, a signal to come and join. Before getting out of the chair he gave Jisung a glare and a mocking smile, showing him his place. 

Changbin lifted you up slightly making you half sit as he pounded into you, one knee bent on the couch and his foot on the floor giving him good aim and strength to wreck your sore pussy even more. You were practically crying, feeling sensations a thousand times more which made you go crazy as his girth dragged along your velety walls. You looked up at Bangchan that was standing at the side of the couch with his hard dick facing you. He dragged his open hand against your hot cheek and past your ear before placing his tip on your quivering lip that were working hard to hold back moans. His precum coated your rose-like lips, glistening in the light as you opened your mouth and took his length. Bangchan rolled his head back and placed held your face by the cheek. He looked back at Jisung to make sure that he was suffering and right so, the poor brown haired boy was pratically sliding of the couch as he fiddled with his legs and tried to avoid Bangchan’s lust filled eyes. 

You could feel every vein on Bangchan’s girth as he twitched in your mouth while you coated his dick in your saliva. Licking fat stripes against his shaft you narrowed your tongue once you got to the tip before flicking your tongue upwards, earning a hiss from the buff boy. Changbin’s thrusts were getting sloppier and his movements made your breasts jump up as well as your head accidently choking on Bangchan’s dick. The moans that were muffled by his dick sent vibrations through his body which made him even harder, it that’s even possible. Suddenly he laced his pretty, veiny hands in your thick locks and pulled you off his length before lifting you up by your hair and pushing you against Changbin. You straddled Changbin, slowly sinking onto his girth yet again, filling the momentary emptyness that made you whine. Bangchan was standing behind you and traced his hand across your back before his dick poked you in the butt and he slided into the hole that wasn’t filled. Your mind felt like static as you were filled up at both ends. Your head layed on Changbin’s shoulder as his hands were guiding your cunt against his dick. Everytime he moved you backwards Bangchan’s dick entered deeper into you, your moans becoming higher in pitch every minute. The knot in your stomach tightened, feeling a build up of tension in your core as your abused clit grinded onto Changbin. Your hands latched on the back of Changbins arms, nails digging into his skin as Bangchan’s pace quickened. His arms snaked around your neck and choked you, the lightheadedness of it making you swoon. The grip creeped up to your face as he harshly held your face and made you look at Jisung. You felt humiliated but that’s exactly what Bangchan wanted you to feel. Your loose gaze landed on Jisung’s soft eyes as your cheeks were burning and drool hanged from your chin. 

“Isn’t our y/n so pretty with her fucked out face” he growled at Jisung, his voice and his pace making your eyes roll back into your skull. 

Changbin moaned loudly once before releasing his hot liquid into your dripping pussy. His cum coated your walls and trinkled down to eventually leak out of you, Changbin’s dick still inside of you as he looked up against the ceiling and panted. Changbin’s girth twitched inside of you, chasing your high by grinding against him and overstimulating his delicate tip. Your broken moans echoed in the room accompanied with the sound of skin slapping and Bangchan hissing. Like a bunch of fireworks, your core ignited with Bangchan’s last thrust as he came inside of you and smirked with a devilish grin on his face. You flopped against Changbin’s chest as your orgasm crashed upon you like an ocean wave, leaving you stunned with your mouth hanging open and your legs shaking, feeling unstable and uncontrollable. Bangchan pulled out and Changbin lifted you off onto the couch. You could only breathe heavily as your head spun. Bangchan got closer to you and spread your legs apart which made you shudder, scared that they would start round 2. The three boys stared at your leaking holes, the white liquid mixing together with your own juices. Changbin and Bangchan turned to Jisung at the same time and his flustered gaze moved violently around the room. Bangchan approached the poor horny boy and bent down as he was sitting. His raspy voice formed goosebumps on Jisung’s soft skin.

“Clean up the mess however you like.” 

[plush-rabbit]

Coping with Homelessness

Request: So I'm homeless now aaaaaand to cope, can I get request Shigaraki, Dabi, and Mr Compress finding out their boyfriend is homeless?

A/N: Please take care of yourself! Im sure there are places you can go and people you can ask for help! Agencies, family, friends, just take care of yourself and one step at a time! (this is written before they met the league (dabi and compress) and shig’s is written after the kamino since thats when they lost their main base/house

-

Dabi:

A big part of his life was shaped from how he survived for so long. Dabi has faced homelessness and he knows about all the little things that could prove to be helpful. Being homeless isn’t easy- especially in a country where it’s looked down upon and isn’t like in other countries. There is no begging for money, there is no sleeping under a highway or behind a building; it’s sleeping by the river, staying hidden and trying to not inconvenience the working class. He faced homelessness when he had absolutely nothing and no one on his side, and because he cares for you, he’ll help you out.

There’s a big shift that comes from having a home and knowing that you’ll have a roof over your head, to nothing, to the fear of not knowing where you’ll sleep, the shame that fills one in having to know that wealth can be so easily taken away. He understands coming from wealth and having it burn at your fingertips. He understands your first few days of panic and dread and will be by your side a large majority of the time, not wanting you to be alone if this is your first time. He’s done this all before and he’ll help you out. He’ll find places for the both of you to crash where you can sleep without the worry of school children throwing rocks or the elements from the outdoors. Finding a place first, is the most important step in his eyes.

Due to quirks and the arise of people using them for bad, it’s common to find a few places that don’t discriminate based on who you are. Of course, it can only go so far, so when you bring in a man who has a body count, he has to stay behind or hide his appearance the best he can. He knows quite a few places where the food is edible, and the people are nice. You can’t be picky when you don’t have a home and it might take a bit of getting used to, but it’s manageable for the most part.

You’re his partner, he’s going to keep you around and take care of you. It hinders his ideals a bit to make sure that you’re safe, but he doesn’t mind. You both stick together and that’s what matters. Joining the League is a new home and with the promise of knowing that you all protect each other and handle difficulties together, it’s easier to handle the weight and shift of becoming homeless. He doesn’t want you to go through it alone, not like when he had to at such a young age. Plus, you’re young, and you know more than he did when he first left his home, you’ll have an easy time getting back on your feet. He’ll support you from the sidelines and make sure that you have everything that you need- or at least most of it.

It isn’t easy, and it’s all so new to you, but Dabi is there. He can act like he’s indifferent to the entire situation, but he cares. Your needs will always be met before his. He’ll let you sleep for a long time, not wanting for you to wake up and protect your stuff from going missing. He’ll let you take the bigger portion of a meal, and get in line before him when you go to gather supplies from social workers. He can go a day without eating if it means that you get to eat most things. There’s a bright side to a lot of things, and being with him, is a bright side of its own. He’s ruthless and has a flame quirk that will keep you both warm and provide light. There’s hardly any attack from the others that you do run across, but just in case, he’s there.

Sako Atsuhiro:

There’s always a plus side to keeping your identity hidden from the public for so long, and one of those is that you’re harder to find. The world can know his name, but his face remains a mystery and because of that, it’s easy to find places to keep the both of you safe. He’s been homeless before, had his few run-ins where he kept having to move. He knows what to do, and where it's safest to go. Atsuhiro knows that it isn’t easy and that it can be scary, but you aren’t alone in the affair, you have him and he just happens to be a showman whose quirk is helpful in gathering items that you need. There may be a whole security system to prevent people from stealing, but he isn’t like the others. If you ever need something, he’ll go into any store and leave with marbles in his pockets. You won’t go without anything when you’re with him.

He’s been homeless before and certainly knows what it's like, but once more, his quirk proves to be useful. It’s easy for him to blend in and hide you with him. He can sneak somewhere without being caught and will gladly bring you along with him. People don’t know his face, and as far as he’s concerned, you haven’t committed any type of crime, so it’s easy for the both of you to still go out and receive supplies from people who work at shelters or even spend a night there.

It’s no surprise that people can be cruel, and in the community of those that are homeless, there are a few bad seeds, but most people are trying to survive and be kind. It’s the citizens that believe they are better than others that you have to watch for. He’ll do his best to protect you and oftentimes, it means having to marble you away to avoid you getting mugged or at least protecting your things.

When the weather gets colder, he’ll offer to marble you for a bit so you aren’t exposed to the cold. Worry will consume him when you’re tucked away in his pocket, your marble pinched between his index and thumb as he stays up. He’s careful with you, so delicate as to not accidentally break you or release you from your glass entrapment. When you’re in there, it’s harder to protect you, but at least you aren’t in any danger from the outside and he already protects you when you’re so big, so this is nothing. He doesn’t want you to be out here, to worry and panic when you don’t know when your next meal will be, he’s got you right here, in his fingertips.

If you rather not be trapped inside of a marble, he only shrugs. He has a smug grin on his face and he acts hurt, but he understands. However, it’s still cold and you need to be protected before him. He’ll pull you close and wrap his coat around your shoulders and give you his gloves. The cold affects Atsuhiro a bit worse given his injury, but he won’t say anything about it; his main goal is to protect you. He’ll hold your hands in his and breathe war air against your palms as you try to fall asleep. It’s difficult, but you’re with him and he’s going to protect you for as long as he can. He doesn’t want this life for you, and he’ll always encourage you to take any opportunity that falls on your lap. He can be damned, but you deserve to have a home and a life.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Surprisingly, it’s Tomura that knows very little about being homeless. There was a point where as a child he wandered the streets, but that is such a distant memory that he can barely recall it. It’s only after the Kamino Incident, that he experiences being homeless. It’s new to him, and he doesn’t know what to do, but he’s a fighter, and he’s survived it. He had the League with him, and you not only have him, but you also have the League. He’s going to take care of you and try to give you what you need.

It’s a lot more difficult for him to blend into society given his quirk and appearance, but you aren’t like him. In his free time- before any of the League activities happened- he would frequent internet cafés where it was common to find people sleeping on the couches for a low fee. It might be scary, but you just have to hold onto your possessions as tight as you can. It’s warm and safe from the elements, and it’s better than what he can provide. He has run down buildings, but you can at least have air conditioning where you aren’t dying from the heat. If you rather not, then he understands, He won’t push for you to sleep or stay where you don’t want to. He’ll take care of you and will keep you with him at that point.

He tries to not care, to be apathetic to you, but he cares so much. He’ll tell you that being homeless isn’t rare, and that it is a very real possibility that people rather not think about, but he never expected it to happen to you. He understands that it’s difficult to not have the things that you normally had at your touch, after the incident he lost a lot of his belongings, so he gets it. It takes him a bit of getting used to learning how to be nice and empathetic rather than telling you to get over it, but he learns, and he’ll nod and offer some words of encouragement that when everything is done, he’ll get you better versions of what you had before. At the end of he say, he cares, and he'll show his true colors after a sad look.

You will come first for him- always. He’ll give you a share of his rations, will make sure that when you two go and look for food, it’s you who gets the biggest cut. He’ll do his best to put you first for whatever he can get a hold of. Food is difficult to come by after a while and with his notoriety, you can’t really be picky. However, the amount of effort he will put in for you to look for food that he knows that you like or can stomach, is outstanding. He wants what is best for you and will always give you that. Whatever he can get a hold of, will be yours before it can be anyone else’s.

With you being one of the few people that he cares for in the world, he tries to do a lot for you. There is hardly a time where he will not fight with and for you. It’s you that he puts first, even before himself, and he’ll always make that wherever you sleep for the night, you have the soft side of the bed, or the softest couch, or the one with less springs. Tomura isn’t a romantic by any means, but he really does care a lot for you. He won’t show it in the traditional sense with flowers or sweets, but he will show it by giving you what he can. Once he has the Paranormal Liberation Front, he gives you so much. It’s almost as if he’s trying to make up for the time where he couldn’t give you everything.

[bellathetitan]

'What's your name?'

Mercury, 2 years before the Red War: The sun was merciless that day. Not a surprise, after all Mercury was the closest planet to it. And yet the lonely Ghost felt comfort in its unforgiving light. Using the hard shadows of the Vex constructs to hide from the Cabal partolling the barren lands for anything to scavenge. His battered shell mixed in quite nicely with the alien architecture.

It was dirty. Covered in mud, a broken off tip and even some moss grew within it. He had gotten used to the itch. It had been centuries since his birth. Since the birth of all Ghosts. But being one of the few unlucky ones who still hadn't found their Guardian weighed him down. Those that were supposed to be his companions were quite cruel at times. 'You are defective! You can barely talk. Look at your shell. It is just as messed up as your ability to find your Guardian!'

'I-I a-am not de-defective….' he murmured to himself every day. 'J-just because I ha-have a st-stutter….' He was determined to prove it! To the others! To his Guardian! But most of all to himself. He had prepared a speech. A speech he would hold once he found them. The first draft he created was….messy to say the least. And the second was cheesy. The third too short. The fourth too long. 'It's o-okay! I g-got the m-most important things i-in mind! Ma-maybe I w-will just im-impr-improvise!' the look in his bright blue eye went from confident to doubtful as he struggled with just whispering the very last word.

He mimicked taking a deep breath. Sagira told him that this supposedly helps. She might have been sassy and also took jabs at him but on the other hand she was ALWAYS sassy and with her it was clear that she never meant any of it. 'Pray to the Traveler that you don't get a Warlock!' she said one time 'They might use you for expermients.' In a shy tone he replied 'I-I hope I g-get a H-Hunter! That go-goes to explore the So-Solar System with m-me….' 'Just be careful what you wish for.'

And as he got hung up on old memories, he noticed something strange peaking out of an old, makeshift shelter. Made off salvaged jumpship parts. An arm. An Exo's arm. It was painted red with white stars of all shapes and sizes adorning it for the full length. 'A tat-tattooed Exo?' he thought bemused. He approached carefully, flaoting close to the sunburnt ground. It was indeed an Exo.

Her armor mostly lied shattered around her corpse. The paint had lost most color from the years weathering in the shadows and yet he could clearly see her design. Half of her face was white and the other half red with a big white star on her forehead. As he started scanning her, he realised how unusually short she was. 'Y-you are b-barely 160 centimeters tall!' he said to noone. Her imprint stated that she was designated Bella-2. And with that name he started to feel hopeful. Just a warm, comforting feeling radiating from his very core like the sun looming over this Vex infested planet itself. He mimicked another deep breath and unfolded his dirty shell. As he focused all his energy into this very moment he prayed to the Traveler 'Pl-please be a Hu-Hunter!'

Within a flash the Exo jumped up gasping for air, as if she awakened from a terrible nightmare. She started coughing up seemingly never ending amounts of sand that had been blown into her stomach and lungs throughout the years. The Ghost was bewildered that it had actually worked and was now too stunned to really process what was going on. He snapped back into reality and with a shaking voice he said his first words to his new friend 'H-hold still! I-I can f-fix it!' He flinched when she looked up at him with those glowing green eyes but she did as asked. He scanned her carefully and slowly, as if to not scare her of what was going on and once all was cleared out, she sat down, leaned her back on a poorly secured wall of the shelter and stared him down. But her eyes were filled with curiosity rather than fear or confusion.

The Ghost finally mustered up the courage to break the awkward silence. He flew right in the middle of the room as if taking the stage and said 'We-well…you pro-probably h-have a lot of que-questions. BUT! D-do not worry! I-I got you co-covered. Your n-name is Bella-2 and you a-are a Gu-Guardian. A Guardian i-is a p-person with sp-special powers, th-that were gi-given to you by the Tra-Traveler. Yo-you a-are a protector of hu-humanity!' at this point the excitement within him started to win and he got carried away with emotion, his tone changing from calm and collected to energised and chaotic 'Y-you h-have the po-power to do wh-whatever you want! The whole Sy-Sytem is yours to ex-explore. Y-you c-can knock gods of their th-thrones. Th-there a-are great weapons w-waiting for you to wie-wield them! YOU CAN BREAK YOUR OWN FATE!' at that he suddenly stopped. Doubt washed over him. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind. 'That was too much! That was too much all at once!' he scolded himself.

Bella-2 blinked slowly before talking. She wanted to give him a chance to talk more, in case he missed something. But when the silence got awkward again, she asked 'What's your name?' He was taken aback. He prepared so many answers for so many possible questions, but never considered a single question regarding himself. 'I-I am a Gh-Ghost. I w-will b-be your pa-partner from n-now on.' 'But Ghost is not a name!' she declared 'You gotta have a proper name if we are gonna hang out!' 'We-Well, a lot of G-Guardians n-name their Ghosts th-themselves.' 'Wheatley!' she blurted out without skipping a beat 'Your name is Wheatley now.' 'I….I never h-heard that n-name before.' 'Welp, me neither but I feel like it's important to me. So that will be your name now.' her voice was unshakable, stubborn but kind. He appreciated that. It was comforting.

She got up, stretched from top to bottom with a good loud crack in the neck and said 'So where are we going?' 'Wh-wherever you want.' She looked up into the sky, admiring the size of the sun towering over the planet. Before simply saying 'Let's head straight for now.'

And Wheatley followed Bella-2 into the unknown. The first of many adventures they shared in the coming years.

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Auxilium (College!Xiao x College!Reader)

TW: mentions blood, depression, anxiety

note: it's my first time writing and posting something on tumblr so im sorry if it's bad!! reader is gn hehe.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick. Humans make decisions that eventually shape their personalities. What does a new year have anything to do with that? Does a change in the year automatically make you a good person? Does it make you less of an asshole than you might already be? He never really understood.

He found it rather silly, actually. Whenever a new year rolls around, Xiao would mutter silent curses to himself because he'd write the wrong year on his papers. Other than that, there wasn't any significant changes he made in his daily routine. He was still the same Xiao; The same anxious, mildly depressed, and coffee-high art major Xiao.

Now, Xiao was a respected figure in their college (or at least, that's what he was told). He was one of the most talented artists at Tokyo University, and professors have been eyeing him for a scholarship overseas (he, along with his brooding and mysterious senior, Diluc). His keen eye for details always produce great results as most of his portraits are featured in the university's gallery of students' greatest works. Not to mention, one of his larger canvas works were displayed at the Tokyo Museum, making him one of the youngest artists to have their art showcased there.

Admittedly, Xiao was aware of how people admired his talent. Unfortunately, due to a rough childhood where his parents barely showed him any love and affection, he had trouble reflecting his true emotions onto other people. That's why other art majors often labelled him as a self-absorbed, egotistical prick.

Xiao was the last person you'd want to compliment. It's not that he'd be a dick about it or that he'd scowl at you and act as if he was better than you in every way possible. It wasn't like that at all. It's simply because Xiao doesn't know how to handle compliments. He'll still keep his stoic face, lips pressed in a straight line, but deep inside, he'd be flustered to bits. He'd try to internalize his reply, stitching together the right words to express his gratitude, but it would always take him a few minutes. The person who complimented him would've already left after he finally constructed the sentence in his head. Not that he wasn't used to it

This led to Xiao earning his current reputation, as stated earlier. He was already expecting the rest of his college years to be spent alone in his studio, working on his artworks during the wee hours of the night, high on the fumes of his paint palette and his exhausted coffee machine.

Until you came.

Kaoru was... eccentric. You were loud, you were moody. He felt like you'd be the type of person he'd hate dealing with just because you was unpredictable. You were like the rain, and Xiao hated the rain.

He must have an Archon's cursed tongue, because he got paired up with you during the first semester of their second year in college. You were a familiar name to him, as you were in the same course since the first year, but he barely knew anything about you since you were in different classes.

"Hey, Xiao! I'm _____. I hope we can be good friends by the end of the semester!" His memory of your bright smile still remains vivid in his head. He wasn't really a brooding type like Diluc, but Xiao liked to believed that he presented himself as a silent person who had no intentions of interacting with other people. So, how were you so bubbly around him? Because she was forced to do so? You were to be his partner for the whole semester, after all. Maybe it was all formalities. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hm." Xiao gave a nod in her direction, acknowledging your existence. you heard from your friends that the young artist didn't have a pleasing personality, but you weren't expecting to be shutdown from the get-go.

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

Again, a light nod.

You felt the awkward tension between you and Xiao, and you hated it. You were a person who hated it when people are uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't want to be a bother, and you did your best to make everyone like you. Not that you were a people pleaser, nor an attention hog, but you just wanted to get along with everyone.

The lecture was going to begin in twenty minutes, so the lecture hall was yet to be filled with people. You took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with the amber eyed man beside you, who was typing away on his laptop. Something about color theory and how it affects the perspective of people on different art types? You couldn't really see that well. He was a fast typer.

"So, Xiao, I heard that your painting was displayed in the Tokyo Museum last year. It must have been an honor. I was at the unveiling last year and I saw it up-close." You started off, testing the waters.

"And what did you think of it?" Xiao cringed internally. He meant to genuinely ask for your feedback regarding his art, but it sounded so harsh that he wanted to punch himself when he saw you wince (or maybe you shuddered because it was cold and you were wearing a sleeveless top? His nerves were getting the better of him at this point).

"Well, a lot of my friends told me that it wasn't anything special,"

Ouch.

"It was a large canvas. I can still remember how it looks. But, maybe that's because I'm at the museum every two weeks," You laughed. You noticed how Xiao's breathing noticeably changed after you started your sentence, and you have to admit that it sounded a bit too mean.

"You know, Xiao. My friends told me that your art was simple. Anyone could have done it. But honestly, they couldn't be more wrong. I love how your piece was painted. Auxilium. I'll never forget what you called it. That's... Help, right?"

At first, Xiao didn't want to listen to this person ramble about an art piece he made during one of the lowest points of his life.

His anti-depressants had run out during that one Christmas. It was 2:47 in the morning. He had morning classes the following day. He had a project to submit, but he was unable to continue working because of the unbearable pain in his chest. His head was throbbing. Voices were invading his mind. Flashbacks of his parents' negligence taunted him. He rushed to grab a glass of water, chugging it down in almost three chugs. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, smashing it into tiny little splinters and cutting himself in the process. His hand was bleeding, there were bits of glass on his counter and on his floor, but he couldn't care less. He was heaving, his breathing was unsteady, he wanted to die right then and there. His vision became blurry, but he rushed back to his studio.

With a bleeding hand, he picked up his brush and began to tear into his canvas. Not literally, but he started to create strokes onto the blank canvas. Different colors, different textures (he swore some of his blood got blended in with the area where he painted the sunrise, but it's fine. No one was going to notice, right?). He screamed and cried, wanting to throw the entire easel out his window.

It was Christmas. He was alone in his apartment. His anti-depressants ran out. He was having a panic attack.

That night led him to having one of the worst breakdowns he could remember, but he also ended up with a gorgeous painting that nabbed him a place in the Tokyo Museum.

"Help," Your voice echoed in his ears, snapping him out of his trance.

"People can tell me that it's nothing more than a simple painting, but the way that the sunrise was only showing in a segmented part of the canvas? The way that there were hints of red? It kind of reminded me how a new day can resemble hope but still contain hurt. Like, the promise of a fresh start isn't guaranteed a good one, right?"

Your words rang in his ears like a gong being hit continuously. He wanted to cry. People always complimented him and congratulated him about being recognized by art critics and national museums, but none of them ever really stopped to talk to him about his art. They were there for his recognition- not his work.

"I mean, you could begin with a fresh start, but wouldn't the remnants of yesterday still take a toll on your tomorrow?"

"Hm. Interesting take. To be honest, those specks could have been my blood." Xiao spoke up, to your surprise. A small smile formed on your face. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

"My hand was cut up when I was painting that," He added quietly, not mentioning why his hand was in that state. "I think I accidentally added too much concentrated red. I couldn't blend it out the way I originally planned."

"Oh? But that makes it all the more great, though!" You beamed, "Maybe it was an Archon guiding you? I don't really believe in that stuff, but acknowledging some divine intervention once in a while can't be all bad, no?" You laughed.

"I guess you're right." For the first time in a while, Xiao actually gave someone else a small smile. It wasn't really a smile per se, but his lips curved even the slightest bit upward, and you decided that it was a win for you.

-

Fast forward to the second semester of their third year.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick.

It had been years since he was clinically-diagnosed with mild depression. So, why was he still that way? Shouldn't new years help him be a better person? Or something like that. Why was he still like this?

Late February meant the end of one semester, and the start of another.

What else did that mean?

His semestral feedback report (he refused to call it a report card. What was he, high school?).

"Xiao? Are you here? I bought almond tofu from Xiangling's place. Sorry for barging in, you weren't answering my calls." He heard your voice from the kitchen and he glanced at the clock on his studio's wall.

1:37 AM.

You were at Xiangling's place because you were working on a report about the history of acrylic paints or whatever it was. You were supposed to go home, but you still dropped by his apartment. He checked his phone.

[ 14 missed calls. ]

Yikes.

"I'm here." He answered meekly, but loud enough for you to hear. He felt tired. Defeated, maybe. He was blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. He has sketched the base of your face and upper body. He was planning on painting a portrait of his beloved to decorate his room with, but he couldn't find the energy to continue.

He could hear the soft "thud"s of your feet walking from the kitchen towards the studio, but he tuned it out with an annoying static he could only hear in his head.

Fuck. Where are they?

He rushed to the drawer next to his easels and rummaged around in a panic.

Where the fuck are they?

He kept a few anti-depressants in his studio because he spends most of his time here and he didn't have time to rush to the kitchen to get them if he ever got a panic attack.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing the contents of his desk onto the floor. Some of his paintbrushes scattered on the wooden floor of his studio, marking the wood various colors. Maybe they're going to stain, but he didn't really care.

Xiao heard the footsteps retreating until he couldn't hear anything else except the constant ringing in his ears. It was annoying. It was loud. It started to make him want to split his head open.

"_____," He whispered, feeling his chest hurt and his throat tighten. The passageways helping him breathe seemed to close themselves, giving him a hard time and mocking him. It was coming back again.

Tears started to flood his vision, and they rolled down his red cheeks. He took the ponytail out of his hair and used two hands to tug at his locks starting from the roots. His breathing patterns became more erratic, but he tried his best to stay calm.

His knees and legs felt like jelly. He had to lean against the desk to avoid from toppling over.

Why? Why again? Why now? Why when you were here?

He screamed. It was loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but his care for any external entities was out the window the moment his eyes became blurry with tears.

Even though he was leaning against the desk, his legs still couldn't hold the weight of his entire body. His knees dropped to the floor, and he swore he must've dented the wood below, but he paid no mind to it. His knees were also aching, but he could deal with that later. He bent down and pressed his forehead to the floor.

"_____," He whispered again, longing for his partner. "Auxilium."

"Xiao?" The voice was muffled. His eyes were glued to the floor in front of him, but he knew it was you.

"Xiao, stay with me, honey." There was a hint of panic evident in your voice, but he was glad that you didn't let that get the best of you. You was still somewhat calm.

You kneeled down beside him, helping him back to an upright position.

"Honey, you left these on the counter outside." You handed him two tablets of his anti-depressants, and he gladly placed them in his mouth. You also gave him a glass of water, and he downed it in two swift gulps. Afraid that he might underestimate his strength, he returned the glass back to you instead of setting it down himself, nodding at you in the process.

You got into a more comfortable position where you rested your back against the wall, and you guided Xiao to follow you. It was a difficult task; He was very sensitive during his panic attacks.

His semestral feedback reports always made him anxious. He didn't have to please his parents anymore since he moved out years ago, but Xiao had this nagging feeling inside of him to do better with his academics. Nobody was really pressuring him to be a straight-A student, but did he feel like he needed to be? Who was he trying to prove himself to anyway? You knew about his sever panic attacks and how they were more active if he had a big event coming up. The first time you had to deal with it, you were still stiff and trying to learn how you could help. Now, you takes pride in yourself for being able to handle him in the ways you know would help him the most.

"Here you go, I've got you." You cooed, assisting him with moving. You laid his head flat on her lap and she began stroking his beautiful, tousled forest green locks. The highlights he had under the first layer of his hair started to fade, and you made a mental note to take him to a salon so they could get their highlights redone.

"You know, I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay lately," You started speaking, as if Xiao wasn't about to have a full-on panic attack. "Yellow would have to be one of my favorite songs. I guess it's kinda cheesy, but can you blame me?"

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." You began singing, voice just above a whisper.

"And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

Xiao was a reserved person who had a hard time dealing with other people because of his inferiority complex that sprouted when he was young.

"I came along, I wrote a song for you."

He didn't have love and affection growing up. He didn't know how to be the best person to talk to. He had poor communication skills. He was a mess, to be honest.

"And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

You were the first person who looked past his rough and tough exterior. You were the person who showed interest not just in his name- but in him as a whole.

"So when I took my turn, what a thing to've done."

"Thank you," He murmured silently, noticing that the ringing in his ears vanished. His throat was beginning to open again, and he could finally feel the steady heartbeat he had in his chest.

"And it was all yellow."

Xiao curled himself into a ball, burying his face in your clothed stomach. You smelled a bit like smoke (maybe you ate yakiniku at Xiangling's?) and your faded cologne. It smelled like home. It washed a sense of relief over his entire being. He felt safe. He felt secure. He was being held like a child, but he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed this.

"Your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones,"

You craned your neck downwards to look at Xiao's figure. He finally looked peaceful. You knew about his rough past. You knew about the trauma he had to go through, but you chose to look past it because you knew that he was just afraid and... alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and you would rather the world die than leave him alone ever again.

"Turn into something beautiful."

You noticed how his chest started a rhythmic pattern of ups and downs. His breathing was finally steady. He looked at peace. He looked like he was right at home.

"Do you know? You know I love you so."

You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched him sleep in your lap. How could anyone think that this softie was an asshole?

"You know I love you so."

You barely whispered the last part of the song, but it was loud enough for his heart to hear it. Xiao hated when things were unpredictable; that's why he hated the rain. But now, maybe the idea of rain wasn't so bad. Especially since you were his rain.

"I love you, Xiao."

At that moment, you knew that the involuntary smile on Xiao's face was a response that contained more emotions than his words could ever bear.

"I love you too."

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

love me love me (say that you love me) - spencer reid

spencer reid x fem!reader

title from lovefool by the cardigans 

summary: after a close brush with death in the field, y/n visits an injured spencer in the hospital to have a heart to heart.

warnings: a lil bit of angst, fluff bc im incapable of writing pure angst, descriptions of injury

word count: 1,987 

notes: this is my submission for @veraiconcos​‘ fic writer challenge, i spent a super long time on this and i really hope you guys enjoy it as its one of my favorite things i’ve ever written ☺️

********************

settling in to what would be another evening of unfortunate, unwanted solitude due to your boyfriend having yet another late night at work, you stretched out across the sofa, wine glass in hand, ready to relax after a hard day’s work.

that was until your phone began to ring and vibrate obnoxiously across the wooden coffee table.

“jj? hi, what’s up?” you inquired, curious as to why she was calling you during a case.

“we got the guy, but spence wasn’t so lucky.” she began hesitantly. “he almost got shot, but he was stabbed a few times.”

she heard your stifled gasp through the speaker, cutting you off before you would inevitably begin rambling off questions, a habit of spencer’s you’d acquired after a long while of knowing him. “don’t worry, he keeps telling everyone he’s fine. doctor says the wounds might scar, but overall he should be alright.”

you scrunched your eyes closed, willing your racing heart to slow with the news that spencer would be okay. despite jj’s calming tone and the relatively good news from the call, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that your boyfriend was not, in fact, okay.

“thanks, babe. would you mind telling me where you guys are? am i allowed to come visit?” your voice took on a hopeful tone that your hands betrayed, anxiously twirling a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of your bun.

“visiting hours ended a little while ago, but i’m sure i can pull a few strings for you.” your chest deflated with a relieved sigh at the thought of having visual confirmation spencer would be fine. “i just texted you the address, see you soon, y/n.”

“you too. bye,” the phone dropped onto the table with a hollow clatter. you downed what little was left in your wine glass before standing up from the sofa to get ready. you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up with spencer so you put in an extra bit of effort to wear some of his favorite pieces of clothing of yours, just to bring a smile to his face.

———————————————

after receiving special clearance from jj at the front desk, you headed down the hallway. you never liked hospitals; you found something about about the stark white, sterile halls cold and off putting.

the door slowly opened, a gentle creak emanating from its well-used hinges. you had hoped your entrance would be quiet enough to let the boy wonder rest, but alas, he had woken up.

though the way his irises glistened in the artificial light when he saw you was just as gratifying.

“y/n, what are you doing here?” the interrogative sounded less like a question and more like an exclamation of awe, but you weren’t complaining.

“what, you didn’t think i’d show up when a little birdie told me my boyfriend was stabbed on duty? some girlfriend i’d be,” you scoffed sarcastically.

the plastic legs of the chair skidded across the linoleum as you dragged it next to the bed. spencer held out a hand towards you to hold, a sure fire sign something was wrong.

he loved affection, especially from you, but he only seemed to initiate it on blue moons.

you gratefully slipped your fingers in between his and gave them a quick, reassuring squeeze. “what happened, hon?”

his amber hues flicked to several spots around the relatively uninteresting room before landing on your intertwined digits. “we raided his apartment just like we usually do and i happened to be the first one to come across him. i saw he had a gun and i’m lucky i ducked pretty quickly or else i might not even be here at all.

“morgan and i moved in on him to make the arrest, but it slipped our minds that the profile said he was hyper-vigilant and paranoid, and i failed to notice knife he had in his other hand and he stabbed me a few times before emily pulled him away from me.” spencer recalled with an expertise that came as a surprise to absolutely no one who knew him.

“you say that like you’re reciting a poem,” you frowned, rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. “you could’ve died, spence.”

“i guess it’s just not that big of a deal to me?” he seemed to question his own statement as it passed through his lips. “i think i’ve grown so accustomed to putting my life on the line that i just doesn’t even faze me anymore.”

“i get it, but don’t you ever - i don’t know - get worried you won’t come back to me one of these days?” you averted your eyes to the floor.

his grip on your hand tightened exponentially, causing your gaze to snap up to his. “of course i do, i worry about you all the time. isn’t it normal to worry about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

his admission of love brought heat to your cheeks and tears to your eyes. “good, good, i’m glad we both agree on that then.” you smiled sadly.

the presence of an oddly heavy silence weighed down on both of you as you sat in thought. “do you ever get tired, y/n?” the genius queried quietly, elaborating when he noticed the confusion etched across your features. “i mean - well - tired of me? of my life being on the line every time i go to work? of thinking that maybe that time you said goodbye to me when i left would be the last time? doesn’t that exhaust you?”

this was exactly what you had been anticipating since jj called. the drawn-out periods of unusual silence, less eye contact than normal, the anxious fidgeting. not that you’d tell him, but you’d subtly began subconsciously profiling as well. 

  “if you’re asking if i get tired of those things, then yes, i do,” you murmured softly. “but if you’re asking if being with you while i have to deal with all those things is exhausting, then my answer is no. absolutely not.”

another pause. spencer played with your fingers, fiddling around with the ring he’d bought for you as fond memories swirled through his mind. “wouldn’t it be easier if you were with someone else? i don’t know, maybe someone with an average career where they don’t look at dead bodies and arrest serial killers all the time? maybe a barista or something less traumatizing than what i do?”

your lips curled up into a smile as you giggled. “yeah, i mean, of course that’d be easier, but when has life ever been easy? and besides, why would i want a barista when i could have a badass, genius iq level guy like you?”

he grinned, holding eye contact for the longest period of time since you passed through the door. “i think those attributes directly contradict each other, but whatever makes you happy, love.” 

the tension had lifted, conversation flowing with ease, yet you could still tell there was something off about reid. something left unspoken.

“hey,” you murmured, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. “you sure you’re alright?”

a moment of hesitation flickered through his eyes before he answered. “of course i am. didn’t i say i was?”

“you did, but you don’t have the best track record when it comes to being honest about your emotions.” you watched several emotions pass through his eyes - one of his tells; those hazel hues could be read like a book.

he seemed to take a deep, collective inhale before he spoke in a small voice. “i know you said you weren’t tired of me, but i’m just scared you’re lying. n-not that i think you would ever be untruthful,” he immediately corrected himself upon understanding how his words could be perceived.

“i-” tears brimmed his coffee colored optics, terrifying you for what he might say next. “you’re the most important thing in my life- in the world even- and i’m just worried you’ll leave me. i’ll come home one night when you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this life and you have all your bags packed, ready to leave. i don’t want to lose you. i can’t lose you.”

noticing a few drops had landing on your lap, you realized you’d been crying as he admitted his insecurities to you. “i love you so much, spencer. more than anything in the world. and i know how hard it is to quiet those voices, and i know whatever i say will only be enough to quell them for a while, but you’re everything to me. just know i would never, ever even dream of leaving you.”

you sniffled, wiping the tear tracks from your face when you looked over to spencer. he held eye contact with you, something you knew was challenging for him to do.

“y/n,” he moved a hand to cup your cheek. “if i asked you to stay, would you?”

you let his words sink in and nodded nearly imperceptibly. you laid a kiss on his palm before turning to him again. “absolutely. i am wholly and completely devoted to you, spencer reid.”

his cheeks burned and his brows furrowed, almost as if he was having trouble accepting your straightforward answer. “do you promise?”

you debated a sarcastic response, but you were unsure what his reaction might be in such a vulnerable state, and you didn’t want to find out.

“i do, my love.” you murmured, crossing your pinky with his. he settled, visibly, too, at your admission of adoration. you knew he struggled with fully trusting those around him and you were immeasurably proud of him in this moment.

“are you heading home?” his soft lilt broke the silence that had blanketed the room with its persistent presence. “i wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

“are you kidding? after all that rom-com sappiness you think i want to leave?” you both laughed, basking in the positivity of the moment. “i’m afraid you’re stuck with me. look, i even brought a change of clothes and everything.”

while you loved the adorable look of surprise on his face, you almost wished you could wipe away any doubts he may harbor in his mind about you and your unwavering loyalty. you looked up at him again as he spoke. “are you going to sleep in that chair?”

“i’d lay with you, but you’ve got wounds everywhere and no way in hell am i risking re-opening anything that’s been sealed.” you held your hands up in mock defense, earning a chuckle from the doctor.

“you could, um, put your head on my chest,” his cheeks tinted pink. “i love it when you do that.” you planted a quick kiss on his cheekbone before pressing a longer one to his lips.

every time your lips met, as cliched as it was, it felt like the first again. not in every way, they were missing the same awkward teeth clashing and spit swapping as the original, but you could almost feel every ounce of passion jolting all the way through your being. and most assuredly, spencer reciprocated your feelings as he chased your lips every single time they made to retreat from his.

you pulled the chair as close to the hospital bed as you could and rested your head on his chest. the lyrical, constant beat of spencer’s lulled you to sleep, creating a symphony just for you.

before your eyes closed, you intertwined spencer’s fingers with yours, prompting him to look down at you. “i’ve got promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep.”

though he knew it was medically impossible, spencer reid’s heart leapt a mile in his chest at the irrevocable love he felt for you, both in that moment and always as he completed the line, “and miles to go before i sleep.”

********************

guys wait i think this is the first ending i’ve written that i actually enjoy and i just finished this at 1am last night and i am so sleep deprived

please let me know if you want to be added/removed from my taglist!! 

tags: @sojournmichael @stinkyelf​ @crazyfore3​ @cal-ifornication​ @eggygorl02​ @howdycharlie​ @eosprincess​ @mortallythoughtfulgurl​ @illuxions-x​ @unlikelyempathpruneauthor​ @blankets-for-bees​ @holycandypizza​ @flyingbabyunicornnamedangel​ @lovelyrdjr​ @minnie-bby​ @fantastic-fans​ @ashwarren32​ @rexorangecouny​ @elitereid​ @keomoon​ @achieveonyourown​ @whogirl7​ @jjtheangel​ @carol-danvers-wife​

[changkyunswifey]

i will always be there l im changkyun

wc: 1,4k

request: //

genre: angst angst angst, suggestive ( I don't think it is too explicit but if you think so, send me an ask so I can change the category !)

pairing: changkyun x gn!reader

contains: breaking up with changkyun also means breaking your own heart -

a/n: i’m sorry about the angst but i’m in my feels and in need for a good cry (or a hug i don’t know -)

Everything was now clear in your head.

You got up from the couch and headed to your bedroom where Changkyun was working.

"Kyun ?”  you called with a steady voice

“Yes baby ?” he turned around to face you with his signature smile, your heart slowly breaking knowing what was about to happen.

“Could you join me in the living room when you'll be done? I have to talk to you.” you asked looking at his every features, memorizing every expression lines on his smiley face.

“Yeah sure, give me a sec!" he replied as you started walking back to the couch in your living room.

After 5 minutes he finally showed up and sat down next to you.

A long silence took place.

You were looking down at your feet when suddenly, he spoke :

"So, what do you wanted to talk about?” he attempted to ease the obvious tension that was surrounding the both of you. You remained silent.

“Baby, you can tell me everything, okay?” he said gently, looking for your eyes hidden by a few strands of hair.

“I... I think we should break up.” you finally spoke.

“That's - Wait.. What?", his voice started to shake, he was so taken aback by your statement, he thought everything was going well between you two, he thought you were happy with him, he was just so confused and he couldn’t help but let himself be overwhelmed by anxiety and worry.

" Why are you saying that baby?” he asked, hoping he didn’t understand well.

“Listen.. Kyun. When I met you.. I said I wasn't doing relationship but you made me change my mind, you made me fell in love with you. You made me the happiest being on earth and I'm thankful for that but I need more than this.”

“I don’t get it. What are-” you cuted him off, tears starting to fill your eyes. 

“Let me finish please.” he simply nodded silently. “The more the time was passing by, the more I knew I was going to need more. I used to be free as the wind, but now, now that I have you with me, I need some comfort. I need my little home. I need to be able to come back home from a tiring day to my wonderful boyfriend laying on the couch watching a crappy TV show wearing his warmest hoodie and sweats with the messiest hair possible” you stated letting out a small chuckle “but I don't want to stay alone until my boyfriend decide to show up randomly at my door at 3 in the morning because he just left the studio.”

“I'm so sorry Y/N” was all Changkyun managed to say.

“No no! Don't apologize. Please Kyun. Don’t." you pleaded the man that was sitting next to you, now looking down.

You got on your knees in front of him, taking his hands in yours, trying to find his eyes hidden behind the long hair on his forehead. You continued :

"It is not your fault Changkyun. It will never be your fault. I am the one who is sorry... Please.. Look at me." You begged when he finally look at you with a faded smile and watery eyes, in a blink, all your tears started to flow out.

"I - I love you Changkyun. I love you so much I can’t believe how it is even possible. I am sorry things are ending like this but - I will wait for you. When you will have time, when you will be ready to settle down, we will have that little home okay? I will always be there, I promise."

Without thinking, you moved your hands from his hands to his face and kissed him.

This kiss was passionate, desperate, burning but mostly sad, it left a bitter taste on your lips.

Just like the first kiss you shared with him.

And here you were, in bed with him caressing every inch of your body with his hands, breathing heavily against your neck as he tries to express how much he loves you. 

Your body responded in the most beautiful way possible, your lips brushing against his own, a hand tangled in his hair, tugging at the roots every now and then, not failing to earn a grunt from the man above you, while the other one was resting somewhere along the expanse of his bare back, blindly tracing the lines of his tattoo that you loved to admire so much every night.

Light moans and sights were escaping each other's lips in between desperate and passionate kisses, the spark you always felt within you never disappeared, the burning passion was heating your skin, the atmosphere of the room now heavier than ever.

He pulled away and trailed kisses up from your jaw to your neck and collarbones, creating love bites almost of a plum color on the bare skin to print the adoration and ever so deep love he has for you.

He went back to kiss you, his tongue skillfully slipping past your lips, slowing his movements, caressing your waist before letting one of his hand rest on your hips.

After a while, you found yourself laying your head on his bare chest, breathing heavily, growing tired from your passionate love session.

Memories were flowing through your mind as your started to feel your vision become blurry when suddenly, Changkyun started to move, as if he wanted to get up, without even thinking, you stopped him :

"Please.. Don't leave.. Stay.. Just a little more.. Please." you begged, holding on your sobs.

And much to your surprise, he complied.

A few minutes passed by and you wanted to see his face, to look into his eyes, you could feel one of his hand patting your hair gently as his eyes were lingering on you but, when you started to raise your head, he pulled you back into his chest, pressing you tightly against him.

You wondered why he did that until you heard his breath becoming shaky. Then, you understood.

He was crying, he pulled you into his chest so you couldn't see him cry, you had never heard him cry before and it made everything so much worse than it already was.

You knew it was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, so you didn't do anything, you just let him hold you, wrapping in his arms, surrounding by the warmth of his body.

Slowly you drifted to sleep, hugging your - now - ex boyfriend tightly, tears filling your eyes.

You woke up a few hours later and something felt different.

And you knew it was it.

He left, he wasn't here anymore.

You looked around and saw that he took all the stuffs he was usually letting in your bedroom for when he was sleeping over.

Even if you were the one who ended things, you couldn't believe it was over.

You weakly got up, holding the covers over your body not wanting to bother finding clothes and walk until you reach the large window in your living room. It was your favorite place to watch the stars with him.

You sat on the floor, looking at the dark sky, there wasn't any star tonight.

It was all dark, like your home, the only light was coming from down the street.

You took your phone that was on the coffee table near you and look at the time and saw it was 3 AM.

You looked at the door, knowing it was usually the time he was showing up at your place but, remembering all the events of this night, you covered your face with your hands and cried all the tears you had left.

You then took your phone, reach for his contact and simply wrote :

‘I will always be there, I promise.’

After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, you gave a last look at you screen only to realize he had seen your message but did not reply, so you reluctantly blocked his number before crawling onto your couch and closed your eyes, hoping to find sleep again and forget about everything that happened tonight.

While you were sleeping, you received a message from Changkyun that could’ve changed it all but which you will never see.

‘I will always love you, I promise. ‘

[alfredosauce50]

would you be down to do 2p china hc’s? im very curious on how you characterize him!

I’m down! I’m guessing you figured I had my own interpretation of the guy after I answered an ask saying I’d write for him. I really like 2p! China as a character, but I have to say, I haven’t properly written for him before. Nevertheless, I’ll give you my thoughts on him as a person!

2p! China Headcanons

Zao’s appearance doesn’t give away much of his personality. He’s got a bit of a baby face, and he has a sociable and pleasant demeanor for the most part. So if you didn’t know him well enough to see past those traits, you would be surprised at how shady he can be.

Appearance

Like his 1p counterpart, his dark brown hair goes past his shoulders and is tied back in a low ponytail. It’s pretty thin too, so it stays flat against his back. But that’s what makes it look so good. He isn’t the tallest guy out there, as he stands around 170cm or 5′7″. Doesn’t mean you can easily take him out in a fight, though. He’s quite slender, but he’s muscular and knows a few martial arts to boot.

He has a lot of tattoos, and he doesn’t try to hide them. He has dragons curling down his arms, as well as Chinese characters etched into his back. Most of the time, he wears traditional clothing, such as a sleeveless Tang suit, so his arms are exposed. It’s almost as if the colors black and red were made for him. And he knows it. So unless he’s having a bad day where he’ll go for a simple T-shirt, he likes to dress to impress. Not that he even needs to try.

He’s devilishly attractive, and the way he talks gets girls flocking to him.

Personality

Zao is very easy-going and open-minded. He’ll talk about anything with anyone. Everything is fascinating in a way, and nothing seems to faze him either. So he’s the type to question the most trivial things in life--or list drugs as casually as you would your favorite candy bars. It’s also difficult to shock him, or anger him. When life deals him a bad hand, or springs up inconveniences, he’ll go with the flow because that’s life. So unless something involves the person he likes, he keeps himself pretty level-headed.

With his willingness to talk about anything, comes his brutal honesty and bluntness. So sometimes, he’ll find himself offending people even if he never meant to. If he does this to women, they’ll slap him before storming off, leaving him in confusion at what he did wrong. But if he does this to men, he’ll have to be quick on his feet to escape a potential fight. Unlike a few other 2ps, he has a good temperament so he avoids violence, but he’ll resort to it if he absolutely has to.

Despite the careers he’s depicted to have, like being a drug-dealer, something in adult entertainment, night-life, or anything illegal, he has strong fraternal instincts. If somebody embodied the “big brother” trope, it would be him. He cares a lot for his younger siblings, and they look up to him as a role model. But he’ll always tell them, “Do as I say, not as I do!” As comfortable as he is in his own skin, his own identity, he wouldn’t want them taking after him.

He’s very flirtatious, and a huge tease. How he shows he likes you is through making you blush, or embarrassed. He’ll call you pet names. Shower you with compliments. Refer to you as if you and him are already an item. If you bumped into him at a grocery store, he’ll help you shop, then say, “So, is that all we need? I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” Zao is also unapologetically dirty-minded. He’s all about dirty jokes, conversations, and gestures. The bigger reaction he gets, the more addicting they are.

He doesn’t have any qualifications, not even a high school diploma, but he’s street-smart to make up for it. That’s how he makes so many connections and hustles his way up to the top in shady businesses. If you need something, anything, legal or illegal, expensive or cheap, you can ask him, and 99% of the time, he’ll say, “I know a guy.” If he likes you, all he wants in return is something perverted. A kiss, maybe. Or maybe your underwear.

Interests

He loves anything cute, and he doesn’t hide it. Sanrio is a must--he keeps a collection of their plushies, most of them being Hello Kitty, but he also likes other characters such as Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin. Sometimes, he can get a bit obsessive over whatever sells fast. So if he has to, he’ll stay up and keep refreshing the page selling whatever he has his eyes on. If he’s infamous for his connections that let him get pretty much anything he wants, surely he can get his hands on the limited-edition Hello Kitty-themed towel, right!? He isn’t against having other kinds of merchandise either, like household items, but he keeps it lowkey for functionality.

In his house, you’ll find a lot of imports from East-Asian countries. Not only is he used to using them when he was back in China, they’re better than what you can find in America. Or at least, in his opinion. This includes cosmetics, snacks, alcohol, and decorations.

Although he doesn’t have a lot of time to, he enjoys watching anime. That’s why he makes sure to get through the most popular and mainstream ones first.

Zao likes to keep connected with his culture. He doesn’t care to assimilate, and being ‘different’ doesn’t bother him at all--he thinks it’s what gives him a unique personality and background. Since he doesn’t have a lot of friends to speak Mandarin with, he’ll look for his neighbors who can, and strike up a conversation every now and then. As well as that, he’ll give his siblings red pockets for Chinese New Year so they can spend it on food, videogames or whatever they want.

He can’t cook for shit. Even then, he has strong opinions on food, especially Chinese. While he enjoys westernised take out like Panda express, he wishes people would stop assuming Chinese cuisine is just dumplings, fried rice, noodles and yum cha. They’re B-tier at best. For a country with that rich and long a history, there’s so much more to indulge in. Too bad he can’t make anything if he tried.

Psychology + romance

Zao is used to being a second choice. His cheerfulness and bluntness make other people think he’s creepy or weird, so he can’t quite wrap his head around somebody liking him to that degree--or getting particularly close to him. At least, emotionally. There are a lot of girls who want him for one-night stands. But this doesn’t stop him from flirting with someone he genuinely likes, even if he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s fun because they get flustered, after all. But when they start returning the same energy, get persistent, or even make him suspect that they like him back, he will get nervous. He’s used to being the chaser, not the other way around. So if the tables turn and things start getting real, he will back away.

As confident as he is with his image, it’s difficult for him to get intimate with somebody romantically. He’s open, but can’t be vulnerable. He’d rather keep things casual, so when he really falls for someone, he’ll be conflicted between keeping things the way they are, or pursuing them.

Eventually, these feelings will deepen to the point being just friends becomes suffocating. That’s when Zao loses his cool and gets frustrated. It could happen due to a build-up of his emotions, or an event that makes him explode from jealousy. He’ll get desperate after so long of not doing anything and make it very clear he wants you. “Just date me already!”

When he finally gets together with you, prepare to be coddled. He’ll want to help you with anything the best way he can, and go to extreme lengths to do so. Nothing seems extreme when it’s for somebody he cares so much about. While he never holds it against you--how much he does for you--he may or may not guilt trip you into giving him more affection. But only subtly. Instead of him kissing you, he'll loiter around your presence until you kiss him. And when you do, he’ll smile like an idiot.

He never makes it explicit when he wants to take you out on a date. Zao will just ask you if you’re free, and take you out for the night. He doesn’t see a point in labelling it as a ‘date’, because he doesn’t just see quality time with you through a romantic and sexual lens. He values the friendship aspect of it as well, and you really appreciate him for it.

Zao loves to cuddle. He doesn’t hug you much throughout the day, but when you’re at home and about to sleep, he will hug you, a lot. He won’t let go while he talks to you, and will only loosen his coils when you fall asleep.

Acknowledgements

I was mainly inspired by the 2p! China in the story, “Dragon District”, written by xYourHero. So props to them. The fandom’s perception of him has definitely deepened because of it, and it’s great seeing underrated 2ps finally getting the attention they deserve! I’m one of the people who’s had my characterization of Zao take after hers, so I’ll also be crediting her for my headcanons.

You can find the story on DeviantArt, Archive of our own and Wattpad. I adored that fic back in the day. Such good memories. I wasn’t even writing back when I was reading it. Any who, let’s get right into it. I’ve divided the headcanons into subcategories, appearance, personality, interests, and psychology + romance.

(Look at this fanart is by Amphany on DeviantArt. It was drawn for xYourHero. I’m gonna put it here for reference. https://www.deviantart.com/amphany/art/Dragon-smoke-548426383)

[notnctu]

under the mistletoe | l.ty

lee taeyong x fem!reader genre - fluff, barely humor idk, very little bit of angst details - enemies to lovers!au, childhood friends that have been apart, high school!au warnings - explicit language, one mention of death, there’s a kiss scene lol word count - 2.7k  synopsis - the holiday season brings a change of heart this year. you see your old friend, now enemy, Lee Taeyong at Mark’s Christmas gathering and through snowman shaped cookies, you two re-kindle your old friendship. 

a/n - this is for @neoculturechristmas​ ‘s secret santa collab! this piece is dedicated to @soliverse​ :) hello lovie!! i’m your secret santa!! i hope you like it and im sorry that it’s not funny LOL thank you for letting me participate in such a fun holiday collab! im so happy to be able to write a fic for another writer:)

Through the heavily crowded Christmas party, through the people that dare walk in your way, you still see him in the midst of the chaos. Lee Taeyong stands only a few feet from you, in a ridiculous Christmas sweater and messy frosty hair. The universe is absolutely obsessed with placing you two in uncomfortable situations, as if the fuming feud between you two is not enough.

His absentminded actions cause him to foolishly knock over someone’s drink, what a fucking clutz. Rolling your eyes, you wander off in search of your good friend to announce your departure for the night.

“Already? Y/N, you got here like, five minutes ago.” Mark mixes the glass bowl that is filled to the brim with red sugary punch. Any forceful spin will have it spilling from the rim, and that won’t be the only mishap of the night that you witness. “What’s the rush? It’s Christmas Eve!” 

And before you can utter the blacklisted name to explain your sudden change of heart, the culprit walks in with his stunned puppy eyes that grow sharp and a frown at your appearance. There is a small spark in the shared eye contact until it completely drops and he returns to ignoring your presence. 

“Mark, where are your napkins? I spilled something in your living room.” It had to be a whole year since you’ve last heard his voice and you still remember his low cadence whenever he was trying to be cool. Cool and mysterious Taeyong, and how he lives up so perfectly to his title. However, there was a moment in time that you knew him for more than that. He was warm and comforting Taeyong. 

While he tried so hard to be winter on the outside, spring bloomed blossoms on the inside and a bright sunshine radiated enough for you to witness its glow. You wished to stay with his spring for as long as you possibly could, but like the changing seasons, Taeyong eventually changed with it.

“It’s in the upper cabinet.” Mark does not realize the initial situation in the room, merrily going back to his large bowl of delicious liquid. It takes one big sigh from you for your friend to finally realize the elephant in the room and the unknowingly stiff tension in the kitchen. Mark’s eyes grow a bit bigger and as subtle as he tried to be, he clears his throat, “I think Christmas is all about joining together and being in each other’s company. Stay, Y/N.”

Mark did not choose his words wisely as Taeyong peeks over his shoulder, catching the last words of his sentence. “You’re leaving already, Y/N?” That is the first time he’s acknowledged you in the past few years.

There is an internal battle of whether or not you should acknowledge him back. Crossing your arms, you grumble something underneath your breath. “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t.” Taeyong says sternly, making sure he asserts his nonchalant attitude. “Just sucks that Mark threw such a happy Christmas party for his good friend to leave.” He slings an arm around Mark’s shoulders, snuggling his face into the side of Mark’s chocolate colored hair.

And Mark dares to show a small smile of affection back. “Sorry that Y/N is always walking out on things. She does that quite often.” Before you can give him a piece of your mind, Mark shoves a snowman shaped biscuit in your mouth. 

Taeyong gets away laughing, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride as he walks to clean up his other mess. You groan, biting the head of the snowman off and glaring at Mark. “Why did you let him get away with saying that to me? And when did you become friends with him again? And why are your cookies so hard?” 

“Taeyong lost a friend, like a month ago. Just be a bit empathetic, please.” Mark wipes his hands on his apron and continues kneading at a random ball of dough. If it’s one thing that Mark always does too well is overachieving at his holiday gatherings. There is a reason why he’s head of the Prom Committee and student officer for event planning at your high school.

Washing your hands, the cold water bites at your skin. It’s been a really cold winter this year. When you dry your hands off, you scoot Mark over to make room for yourself to help with his endless amount of holiday treats.

“We’ve all lost friends, Mark. Sometimes people don’t work out with others and that’s just how it goes.” There is an underlying bitterness that does not seem to fade when you speak. 

“Speaking from experience, maybe?” Mark chuckles, but dismisses the brief second of giggles to a more serious and low tone. “Not that kind of lost, Y/N. He lost a friend forever, like this person is in a forever sleep.” 

The moment the words hit the air, a chilly draft sweeps at your ankles and you freeze in your place. And as you stand with dry flour on your hands and a person you thought you’d never become warm to again stands in the next room over, your heart softens at the information and immediate guilt preoccupies your system. 

“Oh… well you should have started with that, then.” You slightly graze a finger across your nose at the faint tickle. Your mind is running at high speed, merely wondering about all the pain that Taeyong possibly felt this past month and remembering how it’s difficult for him to process his feelings. 

“He actually wasn’t going to come tonight, until I mentioned you were coming.” Mark unloads a batch of fresh cookies from the oven and replaces it with another tray. The aromatics take you back to Christmas many years ago and the memory of Taeyong getting frosting everywhere you could remember. It took weeks to get the red and green stains out of the carpet, but the laughter made up for every clumsy mistake. 

Not completely sure where the melancholic spirit erupted from, you rinse your hands and grab two cookies off the still hot tray without another response. Hurrying off, Mark yells out, “Wait-- those aren’t decorated yet!” but you choose to ignore his pleas.

Why is it harder to find him in a crowd when you are actually looking for him? Perhaps the saying, the best things in life come when you’re not looking for them, holds some truth to it. But your feet take you directly to him; he sits at the leather couch with the burning embers from the fireplace reflecting in his eyes. 

Your abrupt appearance startles him a bit, but his face falls sullen when he sees that it’s you. Shoulders touching, you’ve missed the intimacy you two use to share. The blank snowman shaped cookie feels warm in your hand as you thrust it into Taeyong’s face. “For you.” 

Taeyong scoffs, pushing your hand away lightly and looking away from the pitiful undecorated treat. “This feels like a trap.”

“No trap. Just a truce. Remember the time when I got upset at you for forgetting me in the parking lot and I told you the only way to fix it was to buy me food?” Your hand begins to drop, but Taeyong catches your wrist and takes the cookie from your possession. He gently places your hand back onto your lap.

“I know no other love language.” You explain the reasoning behind the old memory. 

“Pretty sure food isn’t a love language.” Taeyong chuckles, like Christmas carols to your ears, he sounds like home. 

“It’s not, but they all require me to be too emotionally vulnerable and you know how that makes me feel…” Your voice unintentionally trails off the end of your sentence. Does he still know how you feel? 

Taeyong’s eyebrow raises subtly, catching your implication. “You’re still the same person you were three years ago?”

Three years, has it really been that long? You nod without needing to ponder the thought. There is a stark difference between change and growth. You are who you’ve always been, that is never going to change, but you’ve grown to be stronger and a little more independent.

“That’s not surprising.” Taeyong bites at his cookie, turning the figure in his hands as he stares off to reminisce about the past. He thinks about his pain. He thinks about his own self growth. “I’ve been thinking about you recently.” 

The bold comment causes your chest to burn and your throat to grow a bit dry. Taeyong finally looks up at you, eyes dropping between your own and your lips. He doesn’t shy away from staring, taking in how much you’ve changed appearance wise since you two used to be friends. His eyelashes dance against his skin every time he blinked and the white strands of his hair fall around his crown like snowflakes. 

“Why?” 

“I learned how important it is to have friends around you. You never know when you’ll never see them again. The falling out we had should not have ruined the friendship we built for so long.” It’s difficult for Taeyong to continue with his feelings. It’s not a secret that he’s liked you since you two were close, probably half of the room is well aware of it. But there has never been a moment where he was out right too vulnerable to you, he was and is afraid of showing his feelings. 

It’s an immediate body reaction when Taeyong leans in to you and you defensively back away. The confusion shows on your face very blatantly and his dreamy laugh rattles your bones. Taeyong’s hand softly caresses your cheek as his thumb brushes the tip of your nose. “You have some flour on your face.” This skin to skin leaves you speechless as his hot hand holds your cheek so delicately, making your heart race rapidly.

“Your Christmas sweater is ugly.” That’s all you can utter, out of pure panic too. Your eyes dip away and he retracts away from you, elbows on his knees as he leans forward and ducking momentarily to examine his choice of festive clothing. 

He laughs, “it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater for a reason. It’s better than wearing a lame red sweater and calling it festive.” It’s surreal how quick things settle back into being the way that it used to be. As if the last three years of silence and constantly pretending the other didn’t exist disappeared. Taeyong is back, he’s yours again. And you hope that he’ll be by your side for longer than you had let him go.

“Red is not my color, I agree, but green is definitely not yours.” You joke back and Taeyong ruffles your hair, just like old times. The holiday spirit practically wraps its arms around you two. The holidays are really about being in each other’s warmth. In this very cold winter, you’re happy to have found an old flame that kept you from frostbite for many years. 

“Y/N, we’re putting up the mistletoe.” An acquaintance interrupts you and Taeyong, quickly grabbing your arm to follow her. Your eyes dart between her and Taeyong. One thing you know no doubt about is that you aren’t leaving Taeyong alone again, so you take his hand without another second thought and drag him along with you.

You’re all ushered into the foyer and Mark is on a step ladder under the frame of his door. He notes Taeyong by your side and discreetly smiles to himself. He securely pins it to the wall and claps his hands together to gather everyone’s attention. “We’re going to blindfold two people and they’re going to have to kiss underneath the mistletoe.” 

Your hands grow sweaty at the thought of such a risky game and immediately, you two let go of each other’s hands without realizing the clutching feeling of each other’s anxiousness. “I don’t think I’ll be chosen.” Taeyong mumbles to you as Mark and a few other people unravel the blindfolds. Nevertheless, he doesn’t sound very confident and you notice Taeyong’s shifty eyes. 

“Right. Me either.” You shrug off, trying to hide slightly behind Taeyong’s stature. However, Taeyong instantly catches the uncertainty in your voice as well. 

“Aren’t there four couples in the room?” Taeyong whispers over his shoulder at you.

Crossing your arms, you roll your eyes at his obvious thinking. “Yeah, but Mark isn’t going to choose a couple to kiss. How boring.” 

Taeyong chuckles out of disbelief at your comment. “I’ll volunteer you if you want to really spice things up.” 

And your eyes grow wide at his mischievous suggestion, pinching at his arm lightly. Underneath the fleece, Taeyong feels sturdy and strong. It’s only another reminder that you two aren’t kids anymore. “Lee Taeyong, do not. I don’t want to kiss anyone in this room.” That might’ve been a lie, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself that you are just a little curious how Taeyong might have matured. 

“Everyone close your eyes.” Mark excitedly smiles and everyone obliges. You gulp the pooled saliva in your mouth, trying to manifest every possible hope that you aren’t chosen in this room of twenty people. Mark wouldn’t screw you over like that, would he? The more you pondered that thought, the more you believe that he totally would.

Then, you feel a hand on your arm and you’re being guided somewhere. A cloth covers your eyes and you’re quick to snarl, “Mark Lee, this is your only Christmas present. You get no more favors from me.” your cadence is only loud enough for him to hear and though you’re robbed of your sight, Mark’s boyish laughter says enough about his enlightened facial expression.

“This is what you get for trying to leave five minutes into my extravagant party I tried so hard to put on.” Mark sarcastically comments and pats your shoulders for a last indication of reassurance.

You hear footsteps in front of you and an uncanny presence of another in your close proximity. “Okay, everyone can open their eyes.” Mark cheers and it’s not like you can see much through the dark cloth that covers your eyes, but yours open anyways.

Gasps fill the room, slight hollering and cheering. The reactions cause an unsettling stir in your lower stomach. “Kiss!” and before you know it, the unknown person searches for your face and cups it gingerly. The feeling being very familiar to a scene before.

The both of you lean in and it’s difficult with the lack of sight, but people kiss with their eyes closed right? It’s not your first kiss, but also the sense deprivation is something different. When you tilt your head and go in for it, your noses bump together clumsily. You’re slightly embarrassed, your heart is leaping out of your chest from the sudden display of affection and you’re strangling Mark in your imagination.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, but there isn’t a response back. Instead, your partner dives in without any trace of struggle. Their lips glide perfectly with yours and it’s almost like you’re kissing snow. Any form of awkwardness melts away; their hand on your cheek feels natural and comforting. Your heart yearns for this sense of security as the same warmth from the fireplace embodies your chest. 

When you two pull away, the room bursts into a loud chaos of cheers. Before you can take off your blindfold, you can feel everyone running toward the both of you to give you excited pats on your head and arm. 

“I can’t believe that just happened!” Your friend’s voice can be heard in your ear. As you lift off the cloth, you see him in the midst of the chaos. Through the heavy dog pile of overly joyous people, Lee Taeyong stands a few feet from you in his ugly Christmas sweater, messy frosty hair and a pink hue across his pale cheeks. 

He looks over at you and shyly smiles. “Hopefully that spiced things enough for you. Happy Holidays, Y/N.” He can barely process everyone else's excitement, but he feels joyous for once. After a long cold bitter winter, he feels warm. 

“Happy Holidays, you big goof. Good to have you back.” You push at his arm, laughing happily at the ridiculously wide smile he has on his face. You’re glad to see Taeyong smile again.