#i did not live blog this and i wish i had
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Photo
[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]
"From [North] America, they traveled to Australia and New Zealand, then back to the U.S. again. They didn’t have extended time in the U.K. until the end of April (when they were likely writing/recording Take Me Home, as well as rehearsing for their continuing Up All Night tour).
In the gifs above, OT5 are pictured at a Much Music interview from May 2012, unavailable to view [I have added the video link. Btw, at 16:06 there is another very interesting moment where they start talking about Larry Stylinson and Liam says "It's true!"] —the one with the two red tables, where the interviewer asks about boys kissing, and Niall’s wearing a lavender t-shirt and backwards snapback.
Interviewer: “How do you balance [making an album] with how busy you are, and all these concert dates?” Harry shrugs, “You tell us!” Louis says, “We ask ourselves the same question!” Interviewer: “You already have nearly a hundred shows confirmed and almost sold out—for 2013. How do you plan your lives that far in advance?” Harry and Liam laugh, “We don’t!” Louis says, “We wish we did!” [I added the video link]
In Florida during the Up All Night tour in [July] 2012, Niall comments that he spent "30 days at home [in 2011]. So, that's a big difference from 365..." [link to whole interview video]
–––––
Q: Many of these groups get huge but burn out after three or so years. What’s your plan to make sure that doesn’t happen?
Simon Cowell: “Be sensible and treat them as human beings, genuinely. That’s the most important thing. Traditionally, record companies would put out the most possible product in a short period of time, thinking you only have two or three years. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case now. If you’re sensible and you don’t burn them out, you don’t have to put a time limit on this anymore. And they’re so young, these guys.”
Rolling Stone Q&A with Simon Cowell (by Andy Greene, April 2012, emphasis mine)
–––––
“I’ve never known a band to announce a second summer tour before a first summer tour is over. It’s insane – they’re working them like dogs and printing money right now.” — Andy Greene, May 2012
During This Is Us promo in August 2013, Harry says, "If we could choose the perfect scenario, I would be 'the well-rested one.' "
–––––
Simon Cowell, 2015: “This is five years, literally non-stop. I’m amazed they’ve done it for so long… I hope [they’ll get back together], but like I said, it’s not going to be because of any pressure from me… like we said in the beginning, this is an opportunity, you won it, and I’ve always had that attitude with them…. Look, even though they’re young, that is a gruelling schedule and after a while I could see they were exhausted, so when they said, “How do you feel about it?” I said, “Do whatever you want.” Having a year off is going to be a healthy thing.’
Also during This is Us promo, during one of their multiple press conferences, [in August 2013] a reporter asks, "Did you have a choice to say no to this documentary?" Harry half-shakes his head, and leans in to speak. Niall almost imperceptibly shakes his head, and tightens his mouth.
––––––
Niall, October 2012: I've a re-occurring knee injury from playing football. I've dislocated my knee ten times in the last two years. Operation time for me.
So are you gonna have to go and get an operation done? When?
Niall: (shrugs) Whenever I have time. ...[come up with] a couple years. (Late Late Show, October 2012)
14 months later, January 2014: after performing 123 shows during the Take Me Home tour (only a portion of his responsibilities during that time), 20-year-old Niall had major knee surgery that was 'much larger than anticipated'. He began a new tour with One Direction about three months later, after One Direction’s first extended break since forming as a group.
––––––
From January 2011 – December 2015, One Direction:
• wrote for and recorded 5 albums (91 songs included on the albums)
• performed 327 full concerts as headliners during four tours (on the road for about 110 weeks total)
• were interviewed more than 800 times by various media
• performed at least 97 times on television
• visited at least 37 countries, often more than once
• walked some 33 red carpets
• filmed 18 music videos (at least 36 days’ work)
• filmed well over 100 additional miscellaneous videos
• had at least 29 photo shoots
• shot a feature-film ‘documentary,’ with cameras trailing them for months
• shot concert films for the Up All Night and Where We Are tours
Just one week of heavy promo for the feature-film This is Us in August 2013 included:
approximately 95 junket interviews appearance at the VMAs appearance at America’s Got Talent performance and interview at Today Show press conference in NY Premieres in London and New York; red carpet interviews hours of transatlantic flights
1D’s pace was much more relentless than the glancing summary I’ve given here.
–––––––
During the Four Hangout, Liam comments that there are "...a lot of meetings, there's a lot of meetings in Boybandville." [I added the video link]
(a very young and starry-eyed Zayn, Niall, Liam, Louis, and Harry are pictured above listening to the judges after their week 2 X-Factor performance, 2010) Below, Liam continues, "One thing we didn't realize when we [got in] this band is how many meetings you have." [I added the video link]
––––––
“…the business empire fronted by these cherubic faces now stretches well into the hundreds of millions of pounds, with licensing deals that include everything from lunchboxes to their own fragrances. Their ambition, or at least their management’s ambition, is seemingly infinite…
During press for Midnight Memories in France, interviewer Cauet asks, "After your films, books, perfume—what's coming up next?" Harry: Space Liam: Our own range of door handles... lampshades... curtains! Louis: Let's do radiators. Harry: Radiators. Louis: Warmth. Zayn: Next music video's on the moon! [I added the video link]
––––––
Harry Magee, Modest!Management: ‘The scale of this band is unprecedented. None of us involved in the band, from the management, to the agents, to the licensees, to retailers, have ever worked on anything this big before. There might be huge acts that have been going longer than 25 years but they are not nearly as broad as One Direction, especially when it comes to selling tickets and selling merchandise. …in terms of per-head numbers for merchandise we have broken all the numbers. We need more stands at the gigs. More people serving.’ … (GQ magazine, August 2013, emphasis mine)
(C'Cauet clip continues) Louis: One Direction central heating, I think. Liam: People. Our own range of people! Niall: Coffee tables! Liam: Opening a pet shop! Zayn: On the moon. (C’Cauet sur NRJ, 14 December 2013)
––––––
April 2012, below: it was rumored Simon had given them each 2 million pounds because they were so successful — Niall and Harry said ‘not true.’ In the first gif, Harry says, "He's a bit tight, Simon is." "That's why he's so successful, he's able to keep his money to himself,” Niall laughs.
––––––
1D partial gross revenue 2011-2014 (3 tours, 3 films): more than $500 million xx xx xx xx
(Here’s an enlightening post re: 1D finances) [updated the link]
––––––
Niall: You know when the Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block came back a few months ago? And all they did were arena tours. That’s how I’d like to be remembered.
Liam: Yeah, just pop in and do an arena tour every ten years…
Niall: Sell out Wembley. Smash it hard. Home in time for tea.
Liam: Fingers crossed, eh? (Aug 2013)
In the gif above, OT5 hug in a tight bundle on the day of their X-Factor Judges' House audition, when Louis had an injured foot.
–––––––
One Direction were/are ambitious… but one must consider their ages when they signed their contracts, who truly managed their schedule (’This is what you have to do if you want to succeed’) and the pressure to continue making money.
Beginning with X-Factor in October 2010, One Direction didn’t get any extended break until 21 Dec 2013 – Feb 2014, about nine weeks.
As students in the UK, they would've received anywhere from 10-22 weeks of vacation a year—not to mention being at home with the love and support of their families and friends.
master list of March 2012 filmed promo [by @youcancallmeathief]
March 2012 timeline [ @bulletprooflarry]
Four Hangout, Nov 2014
(all gifs by OP, @quietasides)"
One Direction won at the Brit Awards on 21 February 2012. Harry had just turned 18, Liam and Niall were 18, Zayn was 19, and Louis was 20.
Adding gif captions in italics! Above, the four gifs show some moments from Four Hangout, November 2014. Liam, Louis, and Zayn are pictured sitting on the red couch. Louis says, “I remember that first American promo trip was relentless.” Liam: “Crazy.” Niall: “Nuts.” Louis: “I think it was like three weeks on the trot that we were away [from home].” Liam asks him, “Do you remember when we were doing, like, ten things at once, as well? Doing interviews and signing and something else…” Louis: “That’s what it was all like. It was all just so, so manic.” Liam: “Crazy.”
Three days after the Brits, they were in Chicago for a radio interview/meet and greet. They also opened for Big Time Rush that night, and proceeded to play 12 shows over the next two weeks, each in a different city. During March they also did at least six signings, some smaller performances (such as three songs on the Today Show), and over 60 interviews.
14 March 2012, above: Louis, Harry, and Liam are pictured during one of the nine+ interviews they filmed that day. The interviewer asks, “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not working?” Liam replies with a rueful laugh, “Have days off!”
Keep reading
#this post is EXCELLENT and the info is terrifying#my god#timeline#masterpost#one direction#in this house WE HATE SYCO#in this house WE HATE MODEST!#also all this machinery…. and 2 closets that needed to be kept sealed#a never ending circle#gifs ranging from 2010-2014#2015#work schedule#elongated for archive purposes
4K notes
·
View notes
Note
❤️ a good time!
tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve
… why not both?
cause and effect
chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.
pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader
word count: 1.8k
warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.
this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚
Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.
It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.
Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.
He’s probably still failing.
Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.
He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.
And then there’s you.
Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.
It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.
Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.
And you’re so stubborn.
You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.
With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.
How many lives could you potentially save?
Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".
Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?
It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.
"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."
His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.
"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.
"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.
"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."
"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."
"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."
"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"
"Am I clairvoyant now?"
"I was thinking lunch."
"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"
"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.
"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"
"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."
"To have the power to never make mistakes?"
"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."
Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.
That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.
And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.
It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.
"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.
Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.
It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.
So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"
A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.
"It’s rude, for one."
"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"
And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.
"Annoying!"
He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.
***
Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.
At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.
But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.
Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.
He’d never planned on you.
Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …
No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.
Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.
You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?
He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?
But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.
There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.
He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.
He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.
It’s different now.
It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.
No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.
Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.
He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.
These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.
You have enough to carry on your own.
Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.
He can relate to that.
And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.
It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.
When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.
You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.
He knows it’s not real.
He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.
The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.
Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.
But it’s not time for it yet.
if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications
#bucky barnes x reader#time after time#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes series#marvel fanfic#mcu fanfic#inbox#sleepover time#tiff 🌤
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Buddie: I'm excited to see what's next for Buck, Eddie and Chris
Going forward, unless it's for reference purposes, I will NO LONGER post anything about BT 2.0.
Before I explain why I won't be posting anything about BT 2.0, I'll begin with a brief summary. In 2021, I watched "The Shooting" live (related post linked here) and it was one of the best scenes in television I'd ever seen. Since then, I've probably watched it more than a hundred times and during the hiatus between seasons 4 and 5, I purchased every episode of 9-1-1's previous seasons and I spent the entire summer watching seasons 2 - 4 because I wanted to know more about Buck and Eddie's relationship. I noticed the emotional and casual intimacy they shared and when I compared it to the relationships they had with love interests, it was easy to see there was a huge and noticeable difference.
My excitement for the show dramatically increased before season 5 began in September 2021 and later that year, I found the Buddie fandom here on Tumblr and I was even more excited because I didn't know fandoms for TV shows even existed. By the time April 2022 rolled around, I finally decided to rejoin Tumblr (after being off it for a while) because I wanted to communicate with people who liked Buddie and the Buckley-Diaz family.
I started out by doing small posts regarding the things I noticed but a whole knew world was opened to me after I started reading METAs fanfics and theories along with viewing GIF sets and fanart. It didn't take me long to start posting my own METAs and speculations and I when I wanted to add GIFs to my posts, I taught myself how to make them on my iPad. In January 2023, I started posting some of the fanfics I wrote during season 5 and my fandom experience was further enhanced. It was an exciting time and I loved every minute of it.
Even though Season 5 was exhausting as hell because of BT 1.0, I still enjoyed it because of Eddie's PTSD arc and the Buckley-Diaz family scenes that were included. Eddie's my favorite character and I was happy to see him moving forward with his therapy and his life in general. BT 1.0 was dragged out for the entire season but season 6 looked promising... at least it did until it ended. I spent more than three months writing "Constructive Criticism" posts about all the things I didn't like and I was on the fence about whether I was even going to watch season 7. But after the str*kes ended and the promos for the new season began airing on a new network looked promising, I was excited again especially since the original showrunner (TM) had returned from LS and I couldn't wait to see where he would take Buck's and Eddie's storylines.
Similar to the title of episode 2x17, I should have been careful about what I wished for because even though it started out strong, after the opening disaster, it turned into a complete and utter dumpster fire and my experience in this fandom not only became exhausting; it was horrifically horrible because of a kiss between Buck and a PLOT DEVICE. Almost immediately, Buddie shippers started being harassed and were sent asks from blank blogs (they weren't anonymous for me because I don't accept those) telling shippers to stop posting about Buddie because they were never going to be better than BT and that we should just accept BT because they were CANON 🙄.
Anyway, needless to say, the last 7 months have been pure hell because of toxic BT Stans who have no boundaries, morals or fandom etiquette. Therefore, since I can't control anyone but myself, this morning, I made a decision that going forward, I'm turning the page on the BT 2.0 relationship because it's over and I'm tired of talking about it. I don't give a rat's ass about why TM chose to do what he did and why they didn't let Buck learn anything from it especially since this wouldn't have happened if whatever they were doing had ended in 7x5 but I digress.
Be clear, this is not a vague post at anyone in particular. I'm simply stating that I will no longer participate in fandom discourse about that relationship because I'm sick of it and I'm f~cking glad it's finally done. For me, it's taken a backseat just like EddieShannon, EddieMarisol, EddieAna, BuckAbby, BuckTaylor, BuckAli and BuckNaTalia because they're over and the characters are barely being mentioned in CANON, if at all. I'm done posting about these 'sunk ships' and the only time I'll include them in a blog post is when I have to reference them. Otherwise, I've moved on and I will not add anti BT or anti TK tags to my posts unless it's for blacklisting and filtering purposes because I don't give a flying f~ck about T.K. 2.0 anymore.
Now that it's over, I'm excited about writing Buddie METAs, speculations and theories again. Prior to season 8, I stopped writing them because I didn't want to and I didn't have the energy or the desire to do it due to all the toxicity. Since I was tired of being jump scared, I stopped watching live after 7x6 aired and even though I did watch 7x10, I wished I hadn't because it was a big nothing burger.
I'm excited because I don't have to worry about seeing Buck with that one-dimensional love interest who couldn't act his way out of a paper bag.
This Thursday, for the first time in months, I'll be watching live again and I might live blog the episode. I miss doing that and I can't wait to see what's going to happen with the call on the "Hotshots" set that has a fake firefighter hanging from the aerial and I wonder if Eddie will have flashbacks about the night him and Buck got struck by the same bolt of lightning.
The purpose of this long post is to say, I've moved on and I will no longer dedicate any of my blog space, writings or anything else to that relationship because the character doesn't deserve my attention. It's even more exhausting than BT 1.0 and they were in a relationship for the entirety of season 5.
Since I love Eddie, I'm ready to focus my METAs and speculation on what's next for him. I was planning to do a long post on 8x6 but I won't since I've already done two long posts about BT 2.0's breakup. So now my attention will be focused solely on Eddie until I finish the posts I want to do regarding his scenes. I loved the fact that he got the majority of the screen time at the end of 8x6 and when Buck showed up, that made it even better.
I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE! I ALWAYS HAVE AND I ALWAYS WILL.
I've turned the page and I'm excited to see where Buddie is going next. I'm ready for them to enjoy spending time together again without Temu third wheeling and infringing on their relationship. I'm ready for their son to come home so the Buckley-Diazes can spend time together again too. I don't know when Chris will return but I don't think it was a coincidence that there was a picture of him on the sofa table that's next to the door underneath a picture of Texas especially since it was in the middle of Eddie and Buck.
So, here's to me being excited for Buddie and ignoring anything BT 2.0 related 🥳🍾🥂🎆.
I'm ready to enjoy my Buddie fandom experience again by creating METAs, theories, speculation, GIF sets and continuing to write fanfics and I can't wait!
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#christopher diaz#911 abc#911 on abc#911 season 8#911 season 8 speculation#Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks#the buckley diaz family#buckley diaz family
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
need to talk all of you about this amazing movie i watched after watching a couple of duds (sometimes we have to watch duds to find gold)--
and you think 'oh its another hallmark movie'--no. as u can see it's 'reel one entertainment'. dont confuse them. (its like the same thing)
anyway--'the marry me pact', starring Rejected Property Brother #19203 (i assume they have more of them in canada) and Brunette American Carey Mulligan--brings the drama in this 'my best friends wedding' rip off.
opens with rory (rejected property brother) on his 29th birthday reminding 'charlotte' of the pact they made at 21--(bc some girl dumped him) that if he wasn't married by 30 he could marry his best friend charlotte (american carey mulligan). and rory wants to cash in bc this is his face when charlotte says 'yeah but u weren't serious right?'
he was charlotte. he was.
so then she buys him a plane ticket out of miami to like, south america or something. as a present.
then its a year later.
charlotte visits a psychic for research purposes (she's a writer). the psychic tells her 'hey girl there's a man in ur life and also a pact to marry him'. she got all that fm tarot cards. but at no point does she actually do any book research. its over. now the idea of getting a man is in her head.
and boy does it. bc then at the end of the day shes like 'what if rory is the love of my life???' uh u didnt even want him a year ago....
psychic tells her one thing and she's all in.
then rory calls her and is like 'im back in miami' and says 'i have some things i need to tell you'
so they're at dinner (it's pizza at her sister's restaurant. bc a man wrote this so they just eat pizza its their favorite food blah blah blah) and he's like 'yeah i want to settle down. i started to envision that for myself', she's like---
thinking he's gonna say its her. out of nowhere.
but then rory says 'i met rachel!'
charlotte:
then rory's like 'oh yeah we're engaged. and getting married in 3 weeks. and also can u be my best man? and on top of that, can u help me plan my wedding, bc im absolutely useless'.
charlotte: uhh
rory: you're gonna love her. she's a nerd like you. she loves food, like you. she loves the green witch fm that musical, like you. in fact, why dont you meet her right now?
yes, why dont we.
this is charlotte and rachel hugging:
this is rachel in case you're confused.
and this all three of them having wine in his kitchen--
that's right. rory went to south america and found the first american brunette that looked like charlotte and called it a day.
this man is sick.
then charlotte's like 'damn it looks like u couldnt get rory to have better taste in art' and rory's like 'uhh that's one of rachel's paintings' and then rachel spills wine on charlotte. but it was an accident.
im not kidding that really happens and i laughed.
moving on to another hilarious moment--charlotte's finally checking her fan mail that's been sitting in her organized office for 6 months--and what does she see? a postcard rory wrote her from chile declaring his love for her and he says in it 'you dont have to reply and nothing will change between us if you dont feel the same way'
charlotte reading this like--
and what does she do after this? nothing. she just mopes. like a loser.
then later, somehow in a big city like miami, they all run into each other---
the woman in blue is charlotte's pizza sister, she has a boring ass romantic subplot of her own but it doesn't matter.
the script makes it a point to tell us that rory and charlotte love bookstores bc they 'make them feel safe' while rachel the fiancée complains that she likes hitchcock movies but rory falls asleep during them.
rachel is such a loser for liking 'psycho' meanwhile im pretty sure rory's lying about knowing how to read.
anyway he has the audacity to complain that charlotte hasn't been helping him plan his wedding to another woman, literally in front of her (rachel). bc apparently charlotte's been blowing him off. gee, i wonder why.
then he tricks her into going to find a tux and then he tricks her into trying out a wedding dress with the excuse of 'i just want to make sure i look good standing next to rachel in her dress'
we dont even know what rachel's wearing. but sure.
anyway, this little freak got what he wanted.
then charlotte's like 'can u get my shoe off, its stuck in the dress' idk how that even happens but whatever--
then that little freak got what she wanted. ect ect.
of course we get a scene of his brother saying 'hey we always thought you would marry rory lol' and then charlotte leaves immediately.
then we meet the psychic again who says she got a vision of a woman in a wedding dress leaving a wedding. and we think 'oh is she gonna run out on rory?' but the psychic says, what i think is a great line, 'my child, i dont get visions of the future. i get visions of the past'
charlotte and anyone watching this: what?
psychic: i dont make the rules.
this is the worst psychic in miami. she'll give you the lottery's numbers but it'll be the winning numbers fm like, a year ago.
so then its like 10 days before the wedding and we're doing cake testing with rory, rachel and his best friend charlotte.
rachel when charlotte shows up:
rachel (in private), is like ' wtf is she doing here??'
rory: shes helping us out.
rachel: i thought this was something we could decide together??
rory: i could tell her to go...she does find this all tedious..
rachel: no..i dont want to make things uncomfortable
rory: i think u should be happy someone like her is helping me tho bc im so stupid :\
rachel: yeah ur right :\
personally i think rory is getting away with too much.
so theyre tasting cakes but rory and rachel dont agree and ask charlotte and of course charlotte like's rory's choice, which leads to another hilarious moment--
rachel: well what do you know about wedding cake?
charlotte: i know you never ate your first one
and then rachel almost chokes on her own spit.
fast forward--rory's like 'what was that about?' and charlotte's like 'uh nothing'.
rory: do you mind cutting rachel some slack? its important to me that you two get along.
charlotte: i promise.
so now rory has two women apologizing to him for fuck ups he initiated.
let me remind you that a man wrote this.
then charlotte has to apologize to rachel and takes her to a Hitchcock retrospective. rachel's tells us about her failed engagement that happened 'years ago'. but then charlotte stalks down the ex fiancé and finds out rachel left him a year ago. not 'years ago'.
and if you think that's gonna come up later or be resolved--you're wrong.
then charlotte had to help rory find the location of his wedding and we find out that he hasnt written his vows.
rory: u know im terrible at writing. you'll help me right?
like,,,is there anything rory's good at? i dont think so.
now im fastforwarding filler scenes to get to the bachelor weekend--
the boys and charlotte go on some partnered up seeing sight hike and rory's sprains his ankle in his attempt at trying to win...something.
later that night, charlotte and rory have a talk.
rory: im sorry about the hike. i rushed into it--
charlotte: like you do everything--
rory: what does that mean??
charlotte: you rush into everything--today, the south america trip, this wedding--
rory: you supported me doing that trip--u basically bullied me into doing it--
(she did no such thing)
rory: u dont like rachel. that's the problem.
charlotte: that is not true. i dont think u should be declaring that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with someone u dont even know.
rory: why are you telling me this now? my wedding is next week.
charlotte: exactly! i dont want you making some huge mistake! maybe you need more time to decide if this is something you really want--
rory: i do want this
charlotte: does she?
rory: what are you talking about?
and then charlotte spills about rachel's runaway bride incident and shes like 'does that sound like someone who knows what she wants??'rory's like 'you went behind my back'. which is not true imo.
rory: i would have thought you had more faith in me, as my best friend.
charlotte: your best friend? you barely contacted me while you were away.
rory: i contacted you. i wrote to you. i told you i had feelings for you. that i had feelings for you for years. you ignored it.
charlotte: i never got the post card. not until recently.
rory:
charlotte: it's too late now anyway
rory, grasping at straws: i mean...do u feel the same??
charlotte: it doesnt matter now does it?
rory, still grasping at straws: doesn't it??
and then charlotte says what i think is the best line in this whole movie---
charlotte: no because you left the fate of our relationship to the postal service!
(i just want to say that it is no way the post office's fault. that fan mail bag was in her office long before that. so the USPS delivered. she just just never bothered to read her fanmail. USPS is a great service and we should continue to support it. thank you. )
rory, seeing that he's not gonna his shot with charlotte: so why are you bringing this up to me now? we had all of our 20's for you to tell me how you felt. now im engaged and im happy and you want to dredge all this up---
( he's the one who brought up the postcard!!! he also could have said something in his 20's!!!! )
Charlotte: all of this has been really hard for me
rory: so what do u want me to do? not get married? have you and i try and figure out whats going on?
(that's literally what he wants. he's still hanging on for hope)
charlotte: I can't tell you what to do.
rory: you know what? this is so selfish of you. i cant believe that you chose this moment to do this.
charlotte's face rn:
girl ur being gaslight !! get out!!!
rory: i would have expected a lot more fm my best friend. i think u should leave and i think its best you dont come to the wedding.
he's literally the worst. he didn't get his declaration of love and he's like 'okay get out. ur uninvited to the wedding i made you help me plan'
anyway shes back to moping when really she should have booked a flight out of miami to get away fm him.
she gets flowers and she thinks its fm him--
WRONG! its her agent telling her to get her ass up and get to work!!
and she's really happy about it. she's like 'i love work. work is never gonna uninvite me to its wedding or gaslight me or make me plan a wedding'.
then rory and rachel have a pizza dinner night before their wedding and they realize they dont dont know anything about each other and when rachel tells him to ask her anything, he has nothing to ask her.
yeah because he doesnt care about you rachel. ur were a charlotte replacement. wake up.
also this card is fm target. i know bc i have this same stack in my drawer.
its the wedding day and rachel's missing (the escalade broke down) and rory's panicking but he makes his brother call her. this man is useless. he has everyone else doing thing for him. can someone kill him?
so charlotte sees rachel running through the park and she's like 'i'll help u get to wedding on this scooter and i promise it wont look gay'
that promise was broken.
so rory and rachel make it down the aisle and they almost do get married until rory has his flashback thinking about charlotte and then at the same time rory and rachel stop the wedding. but instead of rory being a man and being the one to say 'i cant marry you bc i love someone else' --rachel is the one to stop it and take the blame. she runs out and gets charlotte.
rory tries to apologize for being a dick but charlotte doenst let him and then takes more blame.
you think theyre gonna get married but luckily that doesnt happen.
rory: you know i think you'd make a better wife than best woman
(so he's still trying to trap her)
charlotte: for now why dont we get a slice and watch some figure skating?
rory: i like that.
yeah, those are things HE likes to do. we dont really know what SHE likes to do.
and then they kiss--
i know i said at the beginning that this was an amazing movie and if you've read this far, you're like 'this wasn't amazing'.
i said it was amazing, i didnt say it was good. it was just incredibly messy and i think rory should die.
3\5 stars for being incredibly messy.
#the marry me pact#i did not live blog this and i wish i had#i recap a hallmark style movie--if u want to watch it afterwards well thats ur decision isn't it
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
'Yes, that old oak with which I saw eye to eye was here in this forest,' thought Prince Andrei. 'But whereabouts?' he wondered again, looking at the left side of the road and, without realizing, without recognizing it, admiring the very oak he sought. The old oak, quite transfigured, spread out a canopy of dark, sappy green, and seemed to swoon and sway in the rays of the evening sun. There was nothing to be seen now of knotted fingers and scars, of old doubts and sorrows. Through the rough, century-old bark, even where there were no twigs, leaves had sprouted, so juicy, so young that it was hard to believe that aged veteran had borne them.
'Yes, it is the same oak,' thought Prince Andrei, and all at once he was seized by an irrational, spring-like feeling of joy and renewal. All the best moments of his life of a sudden rose to his memory. Austerlitz, with that lofty sky, the reproachful look on his dead wife's face, Pierre at the ferry, that girl thrilled by the beauty of the night, and that night itself and the moon and ... everything suddenly crowded back into his mind.
'No, life is not over at thirty-one,' Prince Andrei decided all at once, finally and irrevocably. 'It is not enough for me to know what I have in me- everyone else must know it too: Pierre, and that young girl who wanted to fly away into the sky; all of them must learn to know me, in order that my life may not be lived for myself alone.
From War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
#there are so many gorgeous passages in W&P that i could pick#why not this one in which Andrei reflects on several of them?#I've already talked about the Natasha and the moon passage on this blog. truly one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever read in any book#but part of what's so interesting about that scene is that we actually get it from Andrei's perspective. he's listening below the window#and overhearing Natasha that night is really what makes him love her#it's what made /me/ love her#and he carries that experience with him alongside his own experience looking up at the sky on the battlefield at Austerlitz#Napoleon himself sees Andrei and commends his courage but Andrei barely notices because the sky is so so beautiful#the lofty heavens which he never really considered before#but Natasha did#and so it's those moments his friendship with Pierre this old oak that renew his lust for life#life is not over at thirty. once i heard a girl exclaim at the loveliness of the moon and wish to fly away.#once i lay on a battlefield and all i could see was the beauty of the sky#and my friend Pierre believes in the future and he's searching it out#and look. this tree is still here#first time i read W&P i was honestly so relieved that so many people got happy endings the tragedy of Andrei's death didn't fully register#i mean the chapters concerning his death are beautiful and sad. the kinship between Natasha and Maria at his bedside#the peace he finds as he dies#but it really is a story in which he had decided to live fully only to die young. and that's become increasingly tragic to me as I've grown#happy birthday tolstoy#russia where are you flying to?#pontifications and creations
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.
#i was going to save this in drafts but fuck off its my blog and the only time posting my feelings bled into real life it was with v#and it was a good thing i wish i had the fucking guts and wisdom to recognize and talk about#godddddd i feel like ripping apart my body thinking about things i did why couldnt you have been smarter better why were you you#i want to go back and be a different better me than the real me#i need to have been better what the fuck was wrong with me#big lungful of air later i will not be cruel to a naive and inexperienced younger me but god i wish i was better#theres more life theres more time its fine live with it and continue#jesus christ#i wish i could just cry my whole body feels stuck#im physically holding in the emotions out of instinct#out of old habits borne from doing anything to avoid the pain and now its stuck in my fucking chest#get out of meeeee#let me sleeeeeeep its the AM now these emo feelings are lack of sleep bullshitttttt#god i want ti call off work im quiting soon anyways#and i wont#fuck
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ah, for the people who have blocked me bc I am simply (and reasonably) asking for proof of the validity of wildly circulated misinformation based on nothing but hearsay that is actively damaging hurricane relief efforts, and stirring even greater division among our fellow citizens:
I sincerely hope you have done so for reasons of not discoursing on the internet with a stranger in a way that for you is detrimental to your mental health, and not bc you refuse to acknowledge and discuss the possibility that you might be wrong.
One thing is very healthy, the other is very dangerous and sad.
#if you want a conspiracy about all this go read what#historian and political journalist heather cox richardson has been writing lately#biden didnt take from fema to give to immigration funds but trump did with ssp#he was also praised by republicans for his quick response to the disaster (and i can attest personally to#previous presidents' less than stellar or quick response to at least one disaster i lived through#we didnt call it a conspiracy then we called it bureaucratic red tape)#anyways a certain historic authoritarian was also fond of flooding the public with such huge amounts of misinformation#that people became too exhausted trying to sort through the lies to find the truth and **gave up** bc they couldn't stop the mass amounts of#lies from winning#you can also see locals and pastors pleading with people to stop spreading misinformation as trying to respond to it#is exhausting their energy when they are working 12hr days trying to help people and cannot afford to fight infowars#if you want a conspiracy it's definitely there#but it's one against democracy and against truth#and i can understand why people got exhausted trying to fight against this crap even before the age of information#anyways i got blocked what if i get hatey anons next simply bc i said 'do you know the specifics of these claims?'#and my lil blog doesnt reach far these days (thank heaven)#but i still have not had a single person supply actual evidence#just more of the same baseless claims made by media influencers who have something to gain#and they sprinkle in just enough truth (my family member's house flooded and neighbors helped them)#that the big lie (therefore the government is doing nothing and hates citizens) gets embraced wholeheartedly#literally the facts are there for anyone to look at#(or the lack of evidence of wrongdoing in this case)#like i don't love our government but whatever happened to innocent until proven guiltym#why find out that your opponent may not have done you dirty for once#when instead you can presuppose their guilt and lynchmob any dissenters for free#i love humans as individuals#i am terrified of humans in large groups who get angry bc someone told them something that fit their suspicions#(suspicions which have also been fed for years by massive heaping webs of lies#and often by foreign parties who would love to see american democracy crash and burn)#i wish i knew who to aim this rant at
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
saw your tags on an ask from a couple months back where you referenced an au/headcanon where actually, warrick's not dead, just in witness protection, & i wonder if you'd care to elaborate at all because that's also one of my fave (although self-indulgent) au/headcanons
so back in the day I honestly used to play around with the idea, often writing fics where nick and warrick got trapped but reunited, warrick explaining that he was put into witness protection and I think it was within the past two(?) years? maybe three or four now where I had a dream that I do want to turn into a fic of a similar thing happening, nick and warrick finding themselves in danger and then finding each other--idk if anybody has seen person of interest but warrick was basically pulling a john reese and walking down a street at night with a rocket launcher that he was firing at cars coming at him and in one of those cars was nick, tied up and both nick and warrick had beards and teased each other about it lol, and I think I had a larger fic-universe plan to kinda rewrite things, mostly to expand on ships a bit more but the big central point of the fic would be that warrick lives, and sage warns nick that with warrick living there's now a loss that needs to be fulfilled. i think I've also talked about/thought about nick being shot along warrick in for gedda and both of them living from it
and idk, while I do think they handled the death well and didn't just forget about it, constantly reminding us in seasons afterwards and one of the final flashes nick has in his final episode on his way out is that first moment we see of him and warrick in the pilot, and it was an easy way to allow some members of the team to leave when maybe they wouldn't have, and of course gives a lot of angsty fuel for fics BUT
it's just so much more fun and satisfying to imagine warrick being able to return, maybe not immediately but someday--hell another dream i've had is nick, sara, greg and warrick all reuniting for the revival series lol and it could offer up some good angst, with the team having mourned warrick's death and vice versa, warrick's been without friends, without family and even missed the early years of his son's life and having to cope with that, and all of them coping with each other and the changes that happened and the threat that while gone, is not forgotten and maybe adds to their drive as CSIs or maybe also questioning (like Nick often did with the corruptions)
that and well, warrick is one of the best characters on the show
#warrick lives au#idk did i have tags for it? i know i did on the old blog i'm sure#also i wish i documented my dreams more often and while some of them do become fic#it would be great to just also have a count of how many CSI dreams i've had which is probably at least once a week lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.
So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.
In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.
And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?
We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.
For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.
YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...
#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism#and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain.#it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all#the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain.#because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take#obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?'#followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY'#because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao#well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind']#and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad.#but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that!#I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch#he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it.#I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician.#but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though#I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao#anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit.#'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on#like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky#I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my gambling addiction won over
#did i want him? no but i have him now#i had over one hundred wishes listen i dont care that much but nice! gives me something to do#;tumblr users lived together in harmony... but everything changed when mak made another new blog. (ooc)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are very specific people in my irl life who can say the most innocuous things on earth and still make me steaming mad
#ooough we love venting#especially tag venting#auden.txt#it’s my blog and i’ll cry if i want to#these tags are not a place of honour—#i got told off for making tea too late at night#and it turned into a spiral about how much worse i’ve been doing since i started my job#and like. man. i. i resolve not to trust what i think about my life past 9pm bc it is not good up here rn#a toddler’s Big Feelings in a 20 something body. i never outgrew the me who thought i could compel ppl into liking me by dint of being#so good and perfect that they had no choice#but now the more i do. work and study and hobbies and and and#the more is expected? and i’m just not learning to keep up#i miss my fucking mom i wish we got along like we used to when i was little but i’m just an asshole now and i hate being told what to do#i wish i didn’t need so much fixing.#there’s not even anything wrong just a creeping sense of dread. like heading jaws music in a sunny meadow#i wish people wouldn’t bring up my mental health to imply i’m crazy#i wish it didn’t scare me to seriously consider it#although i did once tell a friend that i felt like. there would be nothing to write in my obituary? bc i had lived such a disconnected life#like some fuck who died far away from home#jesus. i’m going insane. it’s fucking bedtime it’s been bedtime for ages.#things will be better when it’s light out
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌻
#sometimes you gotta use your tumblr blog to monologue🧡 or often if you're me#one of the interesting things about going from being a young adult to just a straight up adult is how in a matter of 3-4-5 years---#---the foundation of your daily life can and usually will change so drastically#i think back five years and except for my boyfriend. none of the cornerstones of my day-to-day existence back then exist anymore#the friends i saw on a regular basis no longer live here. they've all moved to other parts of the country#work friends aside i now have...four friends left here. as opposed to the 10-12 i had back then#they're scattered all over the country and i'm lucky if i get to see most of them once a year#the job i loved and adored is no longer one i'm working#it actually doesn't exist at all anymore. the building was torn down and the patients scattered all over town#the path i'd gotten started on in life in terms of education and work is no longer one i'm pursuing#the lifestyle i led is a far cry from the one i'm currently leading#and it's funny is all cos you don't realise that all of these changes are happening in the moment#you just look up one day and realise that a whole part of your life is over#this is starting to sound very sad but that's not it at all#cos truth be told youth is no guarantee for happiness. not in my experience anyway#is there a part of me that looks back and feels a little wistful about the carefree existence i had back then? absolutely#but do i wish to be in my early 20s again? no i do not cos at the time i was fighting battles that i've now overcome#and i have far healthier and more fulfilling sources of joy and happiness in my life now than i did back then#i do think 2018 me would have been lowkey horrified to hear that 2020 me got back into the fangirl lifestyle and that 2023 me is still there#cos i'm fairly certain 2018 me thought that was a past chapter#and that i should've long since grown out of it#but i'd never wanna be without all the good things that faceplanting into the 5sos fandom has brought me#like...even not counting 5sos themselves and everything they are and everything they do---#---i'd NEVER wanna be without all the amazing experiences and encounters that being a fan of theirs have brought me#now i'm just sidetracking cos i'm getting a lil emo#point is that the passage of time is very welcome but also very odd when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture of things
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway the more time passes the more I'm considering becoming a tattoo artist. Any mutuals have or know of anyone with experience in that field? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i need a positive change in my life#I recently ended a 4 year long relationship#many of my friends are steadily drifting away from me as they get tangled up in new marriages and their own responsibilities#I live 5 mins away from my mom and I think I saw her a total of 4 or 5 times last year...?#And things just feel awkward now whenever I DO see her#while working from home is great and all it can be pretty isolating#Not horrible because I am an introvert afterall but sometimes I just wish I had someone to go through it with and relate to ya know?#I know I sound hella whiny but I've just reached this point where starting from scratch feels really fucking enticing lmao#but simultaneously scary because I'm NOT a risk taker and it's not like I'm made of money#anyway 💀#did not expect my tags to go this route but whatever#matchamenace#matcha blogs!#matcha vents!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
tw child death tw harm to pregnant people
#so after 5 years of searching i found someone who was working on the car crash i was witness and did first aid at when i was pregnant#a lady who was also pregnant and about as far along as me probably further was crushed by falling debris#she was a pedestrian and a driver fainted in his car accelerated and crashed through several pedestrian spaces and then metal beams fell#i knew she lived as far as ICU but i don't know what came after that#and i kept searching for someone who could tell me whether her child pulled through#well i found someone yesterday and it's not the happy ending i kept wishing for#the baby was emergency delivered right at the ER trauma room back then like 5 minutes from the ambulance arriving and loading her#but had to be declared dead right there#and i always kind of knew this was the outcome because i remember asking at the hospital even tho obviously they weren't allowed to tell me#but when they said the good things they were allowed to they all got a thousand yard stare#so since that day i knew that her baby died and mine lived#but having confirmation from someone who was there is still. sigh.#it's good to have no hypotheticals anymore tho i think it will help me get closure#i wish her child could have lived too#she'd done nothing wrong but be at the 'wrong' spot in a pedestrian space at that time. there's no reason and no meaning.#there's no meaning to human suffering. suffering is just suffering. it's always a bad thing period.#ah man sorry to throw trauma at y'all#it's unlikely anyone here remembers. i did blog about it back then. and it was what made me change career to EMT#i guess it's good to know in a way that even if i *had* been an EMT back then there was nothing in human hands to save her baby#nobody could do it#there is patients you cannot save no matter what and it's not a failure on your part#we are all humans with the good and the bad and the strengths and the limitations#so that's my musings#it's good to finally know for sure after all this time searching but it's also hard#ah what a downer story in the morning#the man who was next to her was fine#it's so unfair and meaningless#gotta work harder on easing this unfair and meaningless suffering#child death cw#harm to pregnant people cw
1 note
·
View note
Text
GOSH. goooooooosh. watching an ep of ozark and i take it back. bj would trust ruth. and he would love her oh.
oh is it weird i see a lot of them in each other. she's much more ready to use her teeth but bj admires it. doesn't really... agree with what she does, a lot of the time, but he gets it.
the leniency he gives for people just trying to survive, man. bj would get it, and he would not hold it against her or think any less of her for it. even if he's at a point where he's trying to keep his nose clean, he'd look the other way for her. might even help her, a little, as long as it was something he believed would be a one-off and wouldn't keep him in trouble.
#the female characters in this show are actually SO good. most of the characters in this show are done very well. bj'd not like most of them.#i think. he'd dislike marty actually. he'd think he's Fine but oh my lord. this dude. he is a calculator skdgshdjgk#bj gets that too but i think his one trackedness about business would irritate him. he's not a ''bad'' man but he uhhh#he lacks.... he does lack a little humanity sometimes. in bj's pov. lacks some empathy that i think makes him kind of an asshole.#he'd hate petty more than he'd hate the snells though sgjsdkgljsdklg#am i projecting? perhaps. petty sucks though. he's such a good antagonist but i have rarely actually hated a character and wanted them dead#like. skdghsjgks i don't.#i have had characters that i have not cared lived or died. but petty? i am rooting for him to die. LOL#anyway i'm rambling in the tags and this doesn't even really belong here. i just. i really wish there were ozark rp blogs bc i'd love#to write with them. esp ruth or jonah. love them.#UGH petty is on screen again. i hate him. i feel like i need a shower just looking at him. what a scumball. boo agent petty.#the actor and writing did such a good job at making him so enraging and disgusting. props to them.#....eugh petty would hire him and bj would say yes and then he'd gossip about what a scumball he is to everyone. screw that he's fbi lmao#...and then petty would have something on bj and twist his arm and bj would end up working for him neck deep in trouble u_u#but i'd have fun with it#out of fairy tales [ooc];
0 notes