#the actor and writing did such a good job at making him so enraging and disgusting. props to them.

[ofyorkshire]

GOSH. goooooooosh. watching an ep of ozark and i take it back. bj would trust ruth. and he would love her oh.

oh is it weird i see a lot of them in each other. she's much more ready to use her teeth but bj admires it. doesn't really... agree with what she does, a lot of the time, but he gets it.

the leniency he gives for people just trying to survive, man. bj would get it, and he would not hold it against her or think any less of her for it. even if he's at a point where he's trying to keep his nose clean, he'd look the other way for her. might even help her, a little, as long as it was something he believed would be a one-off and wouldn't keep him in trouble.

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY���S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

[sindrafalcone]

Adventures in Babysitting pt. 4

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seung Hyun x reader

Synopsis: A babysitting job turns into something unexpected…

Warnings: Still fluff, with a bit of steam  at the end.

Author’s Note: Surprise! I wrote this part right after finishing the last one. I was on a roll. lol But, fair warning, part 5 will probably take me a little while. Still I hope you all enjoy this one. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

Part 1   Part 2  Part 3

“There is no way I'm prepared to have this conversation without alcohol.” Seunghyun said as the two of you hung up your coats and slid out of your shoes.

You simply murmured your agreement as he headed off to the kitchen, presumably for more wine.

The taxi ride back to the hotel had been awkward, to say the least. You'd kind of run out of things to talk about & neither of you wanted to discuss the proverbial 'elephant in the room' until you got back to the hotel.  So most of the ride was spent in awkward silence in between bits of random small talk.

In just a few moments you were both seated on the sofa facing each other, just as you had earlier that same evening, glasses of liquid courage in hand.

“I guess the best way is to just tell you...” he said, taking a deep gulp of his wine.

You nodded in encouragement. “Like a band-aid, all at once.”

“I'm a rapper.” Seunghyun blurted. The look of disbelief on your face only made him talk even faster.

“Well, I'm a rapper, an actor and a sometimes model. I'm part of an incredibly popular group, Bigbang. They call us the “Kings” of Kpop. So, that's why Mrs. Tran recognized me.”

“And that explains why you wanted to eat in the private room.” you smiled at him. “I thought maybe you had a phobia of crowds.”

He laughed a little at that. “Well, I don't really like crowds. But only because if I get recognized, it can cause a mob scene.” “You're really that popular?”

“It's worse in Asia.” he admitted. “But it can happen anywhere. We have to be really careful.”

You took a sip of your own wine, gears turning in your head; and it was then that sudden comprehension dawned on you. It took all that you had to not spit it out in surprise & Seunghyun watched in concern as you choked a little.

“Wait a minute...” you managed to gasp. “Is your name Choi Seunghyun?” you tried to keep your voice level.

He nodded sheepishly.

“I'm such an idiot...” you lightly smacked your hand up against your forehead before taking another drink. “I've been spending the entire evening with THE Choi Seunghyun and I didn't even realize it.”

“So, you've heard of the group then?” Seunghuyn asked, his voice a little bitter, thinking that perhaps you'd been leading him on all night.

You shook your head.  “No, that's not it... Um, maybe it will help if I spill my secret now. Do you happen to still have that pamphlet from the museum?”

“Yeah. It's in my coat pocket.”

“Would you mind going to get it, please? It'll make this a lot easier.” you murmured.

Seunghyun gave you a curious glance before setting his glass down on the table. Unfolding himself from the couch, he strode over to the entryway of the room & dug around in the inside pockets of his coat for a bit before he found the piece of folded paper. He handed it to you before sitting back down & to your surprise, he plunked the fortune cookies from the restaurant on the table as well. You felt yourself swallow thickly as you set your own glass down.

“Okay, so the Surrealist exhibit... you liked it, right?” you asked, bending the paper and folding it so that the back was prominently displayed.

He bobbed his head eagerly. “I loved it. It was both innovative and immersive. Not to mention that it featured work by some of my favorite artists.”  

“I'll take that as a compliment.” you told him, feeling the heat rise to your face at his genuine words.

Seunghyun looked confused, so you handed him the pamphlet, shyly pointing at the bottom of the paper.

His eyes scanned over a list of names that he didn't know; donors, directors, and managers of the museum... until he came to a line that stopped him cold. Surrealist Exhibit Curator: __________ ______________.

He pointed where your finger had just left. “That's.... that's your name. You're the curator of the exhibit I've been dying to see for  months?”

You tried your best not to be offended by the disbelief you thought you heard in his voice. “Yeah, that's me. Surprise... I guess? Small world.”

Seunghyun sat there in stunned silence for a moment as he thought things out, giving you the perfect opportunity to finish off the wine in your glass. He drank the rest of his as well, then poured fresh for you both.

“I thought...” he began, his voice soft. “I thought you worked there as a tour guide.” “Technically, I do.” you sighed. “I have a masters degree in art history, as well as a minor in public relations. It helps with the marketing and fundraising aspects.” you explained before sighing heavily. “But the job market to be a curator is stupidly competitive, not to mention, heavily dominated by men. So... I took what I could.” you had another sip of wine, slower this time because you could feel it starting to go to your head. “I figured I could start at the bottom and work my way up.”

“And you finally convinced them to let you curate an exhibit.” he said, taking his own drink. “How?”

You shrugged. “The Museum chief envisioned Surrealism and no one else wanted to do it. So, I more-or-less pulled double time for a few months while I put it together.”

“Did they pay you more?” Seunghyun asked, anger evident in his voice.

You just shook your head. “Not in the budget.”

He snorted. “Bullshit. I'll bet the chief gave himself a nice, fat bonus with the money that should have gone to you for all that extra work. And all you got was your name on the back of the tour pamphlet... in tiny print... at the very bottom.” Seunghyun grimaced and took a drink.

“No need to rub it in.” you grumbled, looking down at your feet, face flaming in embarrassment.

“No! That's not what I meant...Ugh, I'm making a mess of this.” he gently took the wine glass from your hand & set both his and yours down, then he turned back to you. Seunghyun slowly reached out his hand and settled the tips of his long fingers under your chin, gently moving your head up until you were looking into his eyes. “I'm not trying to make fun of you. If anything, I am enraged on your behalf. What they did to you was wrong and you shouldn't have to tolerate it.”

“I can't afford to quit.”you sniffed. “Besides, I get to lead people through the exhibit every day and see their reactions to it... good or bad. Most don't really appreciate it, at least... not the way you did. But it gets people thinking.”

“Wait...” Seunghyun said, reaching out and taking your hands in his. “Just a minute ago, you were shocked that you had spent the evening with “THE” Choi Seunghyun & hadn't realized it. What did you mean by that? If you don't know me by my music or acting, then...” he let the sentence hang there, unsaid.

You took a deep breath and blew it out awkwardly. “Mark has been trying to get me to agree to meet with you for months. I've kept putting him off, mostly because I can't afford to fly out there right now. But... I've heard your name come up in the art circles occasionally & I'll admit, I felt intimidated....”

“Mark?” he interrupted. “Mark Grotjhan?”

“The one and only.” you laughed. “We met a while back when our museum was doing a showcase of his work. And he helped me get in touch with some artists and donors when I was curating for the Surrealist exhibit.”

“Wow...” Seunghyun breathed. “It really is a small world.”

“I know, right? What are the odds that I ended up being your babysitter for tonight? I mean, you got to see the exhibit, which otherwise would have been closed. And I got to meet you... even if I didn't realize it was you at the time.”

“Why did he want you to meet with me?”

“Connections, I think. You know how the art world works as much as I do. It's all about who you know and what influence you have.”

Seunghyun nodded. “That makes sense.” Then he surprised you by pulling out his phone and patting his thigh.

You just shot him a questioning look. “What?”

“We may as well let him know we found each other.” he laughed. “Come here, _________.”

The way that smile lit up his face, especially his eyes, had you crawling across the couch and  into his lap before he could change his mind. The two of you put your heads close to each other and smiled for one picture. Then Seunghyun made a funny face, so you did too & he snapped another. He took a few more with various poses before he seemed satisfied.

You sat there while he typed out a quick message and sent it, not knowing what else to do. But you did notice that he still had the smile plastered on his handsome face. Once he was finished he looked over to you, seeming to realize for the first time that you were still in his lap.

It could have been your imagination or the wine, but it seemed like his expression completely changed. One second, he had a boyish grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. The next, it had shifted to a look of pure hunger, with maybe just a touch of lust.

You cleared your throat. “Um... we, uh... still haven't eaten our fortune cookies.” you tried lamely, pointing to where he had left them on the table.

“Is that so?” his voice practically purred.

You felt one of his arms snake its way around your waist as he leaned forward to grab one off the table. Seunghyun settled back into the sofa, arms still around you as he unwrapped the cookie and broke it. He offered up half to you, which you took, surprising him by just grabbing it from his fingers with your mouth. He popped the other half  into his before unfolding and reading the piece of paper it had contained:

You are very talented in many ways.

As you read the fortune, you started laughing. It began as a small chuckle and just progressed further and further, until it was an outright, full on belly laugh. You could feel the tears just beginning to prick the sides of your eyes when he finally spoke.

“I don't see what's so funny.” Seunghyun deadpanned around a mouthful of cookie. “I am very talented in many ways.”

His statement only made you laugh harder. It took you a few minutes, but when you realized that he wasn't laughing, you began to recover enough so that you could finally explain. “Don't tell me you don't know how to play the game!” you finally managed to wheeze.

“Game?” he asked, genuinely intrigued. “What game?”

“The fortune cookie game!” you sat up straighter. “One of my friends in college taught it to me because we would get Chinese takeout at least once a week.”

“So what exactly is this game and why is it so funny to you?”

You suddenly felt a little embarrassed. “Well you, um... you take your fortune and add 'in bed' to the end of  it.” you felt your voice trail off at the end.

“You are very talented in many ways...” he paused. “... in bed?”

You nodded and giggled again slightly. “Sometimes it works out and it's really funny like that one. Other times it doesn't really make sense, but it's still fun to try.”

“I don't see how this one is funny...” his voice rumbled darkly.

You were about to get up, afraid that you had  possibly offended him, when Seunghyun took gentle hold of your shoulders firmly keeping you in place. And that's when you felt it.... his lips pressing softly onto the side of your neck.

“I am very talented in many ways...”  he asserted again, his breath ghosting across your heated skin.

[esther-dot]

One thing I don't understand that Sansa motivation and actions were continuously judge in last three seasons. Dark Sansa was teased by show creators and actors. Yet when Jon was never judge or questions in a way as Sansa was. Hell no character was judge so harshly. It's like they reduced jon character to plot device yet don't want to acknowledge it. I mean I sympathize with him being trapped in abusive relationship but I don't like he was taking Sansa and starks for granted.

If Sansa were to be presented as our heroine, we'd know that a) Dany's quest was bad and b) she was going down. So, while clearly, Northern Independence is a good cause (and everyone liked it before Sansa was its champion), D&D had to do a little dance to make sure they kept the audience from turning on Dany.

Sansa and Jon became the sacrificial lambs in this dance.

Sansa is the voice of the North s6-8 because they need to justify her ending as QitN, but we aren't meant to emotionally side with her 100%. (Oops! Some of us did anyway!) So, they presented her rightness as wrong by placing it in an interpersonal context between her and Jon.

Personally, I enjoyed their arguments, but because Jon had long been established as a moral compass, just questioning Jon's choices made a portion of the audience view Sansa in a bad light. There are even Sansa fans who think Sansa was out of line. The idea that a ruler should not be question, that their power should be unchecked is really bad, and yet, here we are.

Come s8, because they'd presented Sansa's totally reasonable concerns as more of an interpersonal issue, people still did not understand the validity of her points. Even when Sansa is asking about her people's freedom, a lot of fans couldn't let go of the idea that it was her job to just accept the decisions others had made for her. If say, Jon told Dany, "I'll help you take the Iron Throne but the North goes free after that" (this is something allies would do, the show kept throwing that word around even when they were no longer allies but Dany's subjects), everyone would have known, that's a reasonable stance from Jon, the North should be free, oh shit, Dany wont let them be free? What's up with Dany?

D&D didn't want you asking that question until Dany burned KL. So, they cast doubt on Sansa's motivations in interviews, and a few lines from Jon and Arya in s7, all while writing someone whose cause and actions were sound s6-8.

And that is what happened because no one thinks that freedom is a bad thing to fight for. Everyone knew that Robb made a mistake when he married the wrong girl, so the fans should have condemend bending the knee for love, but they had it in their heads that Jon=good, that Dany=good, so they just refused to object to it. I mean, I view it all in the pol!jon way, but if you don't, I don't know how anyone isn't enraged by Jon's actions. They were so much worse than Robb's in which there's a whole chain of events that cause him to lose his country. Jon just up and handed it over. It's been years and I am still shocked by it. Of course, it makes sense if he identified Dany as a threat, but, ya know.

It's actually kinda impressive that Jon, who has objectively done far darker things than Sansa (killed the halfhand, infiltrated the Free Folk/betrayed them and his lover, attempted to and broke his oath multiple times, killed a boy...) was deemed morally superior to Sansa whose worst crime was...lying about Lysa's death? Not being forthcoming about the KotV?

I don't like how/what D&D wrote, but I don't think how they played the audience was accidental. I think they succeeded at what they wanted to do. It's just, what they wanted to do was stupid and incompatible with a satisfying ending.

I also think they believed that it was less sexist to make Sansa Dany's antagonist instead of Jon. Can you imagine if we got Jon with agency during s7-8? We would have had endless articles about the sexism of it all. We already saw a bunch of articles about how sexist s8 was even though he's the victim in an abusive relationship as you point out. Can you imagine if they made it clear that he knew what Dany was and hated her? That in the end, he wanted to kill her? I can understand why D&D figured that was a story that couldn't write explicitly. Although, I think there is a lot of acting that implies it.

I don't like how it seems Jon took Sansa/the Starks for granted either, but I don't really blame the character because so much of how he and Sansa were written had nothing to do with who they are, and everything to do with what D&D wanted to do to us. Jon fought to retake Winterfell for the Starks, he went to Dragonstone (something he thought might get him killed) to give them a chance to win the fight against the Others for the North/the Starks, Jon went beyond the Wall to get a wight (something else he thought might get him killed) to give them a chance etc, Jon told them his parentage because he was more loyal to them than Dany, and Jon killed Dany for them. I mean, most of what Jon did in his second life is driven by his love of the Starks, and considering how D&D robbed us of any good Stark moments in s8, I think that was them trying to downplay his devotion to them.  

I think book!Jon will be firmly on team Stark/the North, and if the story isn't that he somehow convinces Dany to come North to help them fight the Others, and instead, him going South after the war, I think he'll go with the purpose of killing her. He was ordered to assassinate Mance. I think when he kills Dany it will be of his own volition.

It's a strange thing to find comfort in, but I do.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[annerbhp]

Okay, I’m having The Last Kingdom thoughts that I felt the need to write down just to get out of my head mostly. It’s a beautiful show with great dialog and characters and actors and settings. It’s compelling. I couldn’t stop watching it. My only hesitation was that in the first couple seasons I started to fear that the female characters were a bit too disposable. It is a series set during a particularly turbulent time with constant raiding between Danes and Saxons and others, and there is a really high body count. But the longer I watched, I wondered if I wasn’t as disturbed as I should be and I realized I had kind of misjudged the show.

It’s really easy for ‘period’ shows, especially put in the middle ages, to be full of all sorts of gruesome things, to represent problematic behaviors as ‘authentic’. But this show manages to be steeped in the time period and still avoid a lot of these common pitfalls, and it’s kind of amazing.

Like, the main character is hot and built and a really good fighter and impetuous and people sort of naturally gravitate towards him, but he also loves deeply and cries over the loss of people, not just like, manly solo ‘this grief fuels my rage’ and ‘I will stand on a cliff alone brooding about it’ kind of crying either. Like, sad, heartfelt, let my other friends hold me as I grieve sadness. And it’s so refreshing.

Some women do die as I mentioned. Not too many when I look back (and less than close male friends die). But you know what struck me after I paused to think back on it? None of the women’s deaths were shown on screen, none of them were played for drama, there was no voyeuristic pleasure to be found in them. And the main character is impacted by it, of course, but in, like, an authentic way? Like not some cheap ‘needed to drive the plot forward way’.

The other thing that really strikes me about the show is in terms of sex and consent. The ‘good guys’ are all 100% both about the consent of women around them--when it comes to sex and general decision making--and they are simultaneously not just constantly sexualizing women around them. Like, they have women who are friends and family and comrades. And there are cases of ‘hey, I’d like to hump’ and the woman being like ‘pass’ and the men are like, sad face, “okay.” And then just leave them alone and aren’t mad and still treat them the way they did before the rejection. In fact, the only cases of non-consensual sex (of which I can think of two off the top of my head), are again not played for voyeuristic pleasure (in fact, female nudity is only shown in sex scenes that are clearly driven by the passion and consent of both participants). AND, in both cases of sexual violence, not only are the men committing these crimes understood as terrible and in the wrong, but women themselves are the ones to resolve/face the situation. Never are their experiences played for male characters’ angst or revenge. The WOMEN decide what this is to them and how they will deal with it, and both of them FULLY claim their own agency. (I think this honestly surprises me because almost all cases of violence against women in media are either played for ‘grit’ and ‘voyeurism’ OR for the main male characters to be shown as moral in opposition to that male antagonist’s actions. Meaning, the event rarely has anything to do with the women. That ENRAGES me as lazy, misogynistic shortcuts. Do a better job writing your characters instead of falling back on this shit.)

These are seemingly subtle choices that have huge impact and I know this is a large part of why I enjoyed the show so much.

[365days365movies]

January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (Epilogue)

WhoooooooooooooOK. Look, I’m gonna get through this, but I’m gonna have to go in a different order. I’m going from highest score to lowest, because that’s how I’m gonna be able to get through this. And for the record, I’ll be doing some...ranting...at certain points. This is gonna be interesting. Why? Well, let’s start with this little tidbit.

79%. Not my score. That’s the Rotten Tomatoes score for this movie. The average rating on RT is 7.1/10. My score...my score will not be that high. Maybe not terribly low, but...it ain’t gonna be that high. ‘Cause I got some problems. OH BOY...do I got some problems. And this might even be controversial for some, but if you like this movie, I’m so happy for you.

I...I was not that lucky.

Review

Direction and Action

To Martin Campbell: great job. I actually mean this sincerely, great job with the direction of this movie, as well as the cinematography. Good job from you too, Phil Méheux. Some of the shots and framing of this movie are great, and credit absolutely deserves to be given for that. And the action! Look, as stupid as some of the framing is for it (we’ll get there, dear GOD, we’ll get there), the action is all dynamite. From the jump into the dam at the beginning, to the VERY impressively brutal fight scene between Alec and James at the end. Absolutely impressive, and gets a 9/10 from me. Yeah, really. No complaints here. 

Wow, a 9? That’s a big deal! I thought you said you hated this movie.

I don’t hate everything in this movie. But some things...some things...we’ll get there.

Cast and Acting

I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering my opinions on a lot of the movie...but Brosnan is a pretty great Bond. I hate the lines he’s forced to deliver, I hate the relationships and lack of emotion in his dialogue (WE WILL GET THERE), but I don’t actually blame Brosnan for that. He does a great job with what he’s given. And that basically goes for everybody else...almost. Famke Janssen. Xenia...she, uh...HOLY SHIT DUDE. She fuckin’ GOES for it. She’s the craziest Bond...Girl...wait. No, wait, she isn’t the Bond Girl. SHE’S THE HENCHMAN. Shit. OK, I’m on board with Xenia and Famke Janssen’s portrayal. Over the top, sure, but I can deal with that. Sean Bean does great, no surprise there, and I even like Izabella Scorupco as Natalya. Alan Cumming...Boris....yeah, no, no pass for Boris, he’s obnoxious as hell. I know you’re a great actor, Alan Cumming. So why in the hell do I NEVER SEE YOU IN ANYTHING GOOD??? Except X2, you rocked as Nightcrawler. And y’know what, Judi Dench’s one scene as M was FANTASTIC. Seriously, more of THAT, please! So, yeah, when I really think about it, high marks here, too. 8/10!

And an 8! For somebody who liked Connery, I’m surprised that Brosnan was OK for you. And yet, you said you didn’t like this movie? Why?

Just keep reading. It’ll aaaaaaaaaaallllllll make sense soon.

Production Design

Not much to say here, except...yeah, it looks great! From Arecibo Observatory to the streets of St. Petersburg, it all looks great. Iconic sets, like that Soviet statuary. Costumes, ESPECIALLY Xenia’s, were also pretty good, although not particularly iconic. Definitely no real problems here. Good job, Peter Lamont! 8/10 for you and your cohorts.

These are pretty high grades, 365.

I know. I am aware. We are not done.

Music and Editing

Before I talk about Tina Turner’s song, I have one thing to say...the triangle guy in the orchestra was having a FIELD DAY. My girlfriend and I watched this together, and she noticed it first. Now I can’t unhear it. Everybody wants to be heard...even the triangle guy. Listen to the theme from the tank sequence, you won’t be able to unhear the triangle guy going CRAZY back there. 

OK, the opening sequence might’ve been crazy compared to others, but the song was...pretty good. Absolutely not my favorite Bond song (GOOOOOOOOOLD-FINGAAAAAAH-WHAP-WHAAAAAAAP-WAAAAAAAAAAH), but still good. And the rest of the music for the movie is good...but I won’t be buying the soundtrack, sorry to say. Still, Éric Serra did a good job, I mean that. With all that said, 8/10.

Gee, 365, you sure you don’t like this movieGIVE IT A GODDAMNSECONDOK???

Plot and Writing

...Hey, uh...you OK? Looks like your eyes have gone blank there, 365. You all ri-wait...wait, what are you doing with your thighs? No! NOOOOOOOOO-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHATETHEWRITINGANDPLOTINTHISGODDAMNMOVIE

OK, take a breathtakeabreathtakeabreathtakeaBREATH. The plot and writing of this goddamn movie cripples EVERYTHING ELSE IT HAD GOING FOR IT for me. And for the duration of the film, I’ve been trying to figure it out. What was it? I’m gonna have to break it into pieces here.

Plot first. At the end of the day, the plot isn’t actually bad in and of itself. However...it is the most UNORIGINAL, HACKNEYED, SPY MOVIE, JAMES BOND CLAPTRAP THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. The entire film just feels scripted, and not in a good way. And I know that, logically, some things are going to stay the same. He’s gonna get the girl, there’s going to be a dastardly villain, there’ll be gadgets, Bond’ll be cool, and there’s the music. Let’s take the music out of it, obviously, and look at the other core elements of a Bond film, shall we?

The Girl: I might’ve liked Natalya, but the characters had NO chemistry. Can’t say that about Brosnan and Izabella, they did fine with what they were given. But the characters weren’t given a single satisfying reason to get together. They needed to either meet earlier, or you needed to give her something in her character to get her to convincingly fall for Natalya. The work needs to be done with her. Because, let’s face it: James Bond is a man-whore. It’s literally a part of his character definition. He doesn’t need an excuse to fall for her, she needs an excuse to fall for him. And we never get a convincing reason for their relationship. Ever.

The Villain: Gaaaaaaah, Alec! Alec was actually an interesting character! His motivations actually did make sense, and play on a VERY tough event in the history of the UK. While it certainly doesn’t justify his actions, it definitely makes him more three-dimensional. Which is why it’s a shame that the film works so hard to flatten him out. They turn him from an intriguing individual, to someone whose ultimate goal is to steal ALL OF THE MONEY IN LONDON!!! MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! This guy is a Baron Zemo, a THANOS. Doing terrible things for understandable reasons. Should’ve leaned into that more, instead of just turning him into Evil James Bond. One of the biggest failures of this movie, seriously.

Gadgets: WHAT GODDAMN GADGETS??? The acetylene torch at the dam? Barely a gadget, and you know it. The car? NOPE! Agent Wade takes it away! Here’s an ideaUSE THE CAR IN ST. PETERSBURG. Instead of TEARING UP DOWNTOWN ST. PETERSBURG. Real subtle, Bond, real great work AS A SPY, YOU FUCKLEHEAD!!! What about the pen? Oh, the one he uses by ACCIDENT? Yeah, not counting that either. The belt? Nope, not even touched. And lastly, I cannot stress this enough, WHY WOULD YOU TEASE ME WITH THE GODDAMN CAR MISSILES, AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM??? Yeah. Still not over the car thing, I mean that. Enraged. So enraged.

James Bond: Pierce...you did a good job. You did a great job, even. It’s not you. It’s the writing. See, Bond lines used to be cool. But then, Schwarzenegger happened. And Stallone happened. And literally the entirety of the 1980s and early ‘90s happened. And all during that, Bond was still around, and still pumping out movies. All of Connery’s wit and cunning got Flanderized into almost a parody of the original character. And Brosnan...Brosnan does his damndest with those puns. Those awful...AWFUL...puns. If they were here and there, sure, I could’ve taken it. But at times, it felt like EVERY OTHER LINE!!! At a certain point, the film felt less like a Bond film, and more like a parody of a Bond film. EXCEPT, that unlike Austin Powers, IT. WASN’T. FUCKING. FUNNY. But you may have noticed something...that has nothing with the plot. That’s all writing. OK, let’s get into it.

The writers need help; they were clearly locked in a room for too long until they came up with “good puns.” It didn’t work. And the problem stretches far outside of the puns. Lemme give you an example, yeah? At one point, Valentin asks if Bond has “joined the 21st century,” then notes that M is now a woman. That comment makes no sense in two ways. One, that phrase is meant to state that an individual is somehow dated, out of touch with the present, stuck in the past. Yet, working for a woman is most certainly a more modern trait, so that makes no sense. And secondly, THIS IS 1995, IN THE 20TH CENTURY. And that’s a relatively minor nitpick, at the tip of the iceberg of this film. There are plot holes, missed opportunities...long story short (too late), the writing is TERRIBLE. It’s goddamn awful. It’s so awful...that I’m going for 1/10. Yeah. This movie PISSED ME OFF.

There. You get it now? Most of the elements of the movie were fine, but the writing TORE it for me. Which leaves us with…

A 68%.

*wakes up* W---WHAT? You tried to Xenia me, and you still gave it a 70%? What about the whole “My score will not be that high” thing? HUH?

I mean...it wasn’t. The average rating on Rotten Tomatoes was a 71%. Mine’s a 68%.

Because here’s the thing: it’s honestly not a bad movie. It just infuriates me for one reason. By all other metrics, this movie’s totally fine. It’s just the unoriginal plot and cringeworthy writing that tears it down a peg. Just imagine if the writing was good. This movie would be considered one of the best action movies, instead of just once of the best James Bond movies. And even then, if you ranked these movies by Tomatometer, GoldenEye’s only #9. That’s beneath Lazenby, a Moore, two Craigs, and the first four Sean Connerys. In other words, it’s the worst Bond movie I’ve ever seen...and I’ve only seen the first four Connery movies. So, really, this rating makes sense when you think about it.

There it is: a good action film with shitty writing. That’s GoldenEye. And PLEASE disagree with me, I’m one of the outliers with this movie. It is a beloved classic for many, and I respect that. But for me...it’s a 68%. Just my opinion.

But this isn’t fair. I want me a good Bond movie, or at least one that I like. Already seen Goldfinger, so...let’s go for the Bond after Brosnan, shall we?

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2005)

[hippychick006]

15.11: The Gamblers - Episode Review/Recap

This ep follows directly on from last week.   The episode was very mixed, there were 2 distinct storylines that merged at the end.  I had a few issues with the Castiel/Jack side of the story, which I’ll cover later, but the Sam and Dean scenes, for the most part, I was able to enjoy.  I even caught myself smiling… fucking smiling at several moments, because this?  This was a glimpse of what my show once was.  This also explains to the “Just stop watching” brigade why I’m still watching.  The brother scenes were a nugget of gold amongst the dross and worth watching for.

Thank you, Davey Perez, Meredith Glynn and Director Charles Beeson for reminding me, albeit briefly, why I fell in love with this show, and at the same time, why I dislike much of Dabb’s run, which in my humble opinion hasn’t just veered the ship slightly off course; it crashed into an iceberg in 11.21 and has been slowly sinking since then.  I think last week’s episode brought us to the point where half the ship is now vertical, ready to plunge into the depths of the icy ocean...  

...Anyway, enough about sinking ships, the key thing I struggled with going into this episode is the obvious fuck up from the previous week; the entire premise of the Winchester’s losing their “luck” and being reduced to “normal” people, and I want to talk rant about that for a few more minutes before we get onto this episode.  If you want to skip that, I’ll put start and end of rant, so you can skip forward.

Start of rant

In order to enjoy this episode, you pretty much have to ignore much of the previous episode and… that doesn’t sit well with me.  Last week wasn’t just a single scene you can forget ever existed (e.g. the trench-coat scene or Dean’s apology to Cass).  What Dabb did fucked with the entire concept of the show; that the Winchesters are ordinary people who do extraordinary things.  So, it’s really difficult to shake that epic fuck up off and just move on.

I just can’t ever buy in to the concept that the Winchesters were “favoured” or have more luck than “normal” people.   I mean look at Sam’s life for starters; he didn’t know his mom, he was fed demon blood as a baby, was dragged up in a life he hated, constantly moving, being brought up in crappy motels and forced to train to become a hunter.  The love of his life is murdered, and he becomes an orphan at 22.  He died at 23 (for the first time) and then he loses the last remaining member of his family at 24.  The Winchesters are far from “lucky” and if I could be bothered, I’d go looking for mentions of “with the Winchester luck” that have been peppered throughout the series.  Chuck has not “favoured” the Winchesters at all and they haven’t had Charmed lives because of Chuck’s interference.

I also can’t buy into the concept that the Winchesters are anything other than “normal” in the first place.  Sadly, they showed last weeks “fight” scenes during the recap and it did nothing, other than enrage me again.  Sam and Dean are excellent fighters and hunters because they trained from a young age to be as good as they are.  They weren’t “given” anything and certainty not a free ride and fuck Dabb once again for writing that bullshit.  It was nothing less than petty because we rejected his instant Hunter!Barbie fiasco that wasted too much of season 13.

So, how do I move forward from that and manage to enjoy this episode?  The answer in my opinion, is you can’t, because even with a few good brother moments, the entire premise of this week’s episode fails to make sense, because the previous episode fails to make sense.  I’ll cover why that is when we get to the pool game.

End Rant

The episode opens on a recap, and I ask myself why they are using all the bad bits from the previous few episodes, before I remember there weren’t many good bits to select from.  That clip of Jensen with the teeth is still funny. 😂

I love the intro again this week.  The setting was good, the guest actors, the camerawork, the music choice – North to Alaska - which complimented the scene, rather than felt like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.  All classic spn so far, so it has my attention.  

Two men (Joey and Leonard) are playing a game of pool and you can tell this is a high stakes game from the get go.  What the stakes are, we don’t yet know, but when the game ends, we see 2 coins being held in a contraption above the pool table; one glows green then dulls with the coin head disappearing, the other glows green and gets brighter with the coin head gaining in definition.  I don’t think this looks good for the loser.  He agrees and tries to attack the winner with his pool cue.  He’s stopped from doing so by a bouncer who turfs him outside.  👋 cutie tall bouncer.  There’s an absolutely great shot of the loser tossing his coin in the air and the music gets loud again (Hey, I’m here as much for the settings, lighting, music and camerawork as I’m here for the Winchesters – sue me) and then…. Splat.  He’s hit by a truck.  Poor Leonard, red shirt of the episode.  RIP my friend.

As an aside, I like how you guys announce which pocket the 8 ball is going into, we don’t do that.

This was a great into, interesting premise that immediately sucked me in, wanting to find out more.  This is my show.  Great job so far.

The next scene though shows once again how useless, at least for me, the writing is around Castiel.  They wrote an entire scene with him walking into the bunker, seeing a note that has been left, going down to read it “Cass, we’ve gone to Alaska, Sam”.  I’m not going to rant about the twats that insist on saying Sam has spelt it wrong, I’ve already done a post about the arrogance of fans trying to tell the show that created the character that they are wrong with the spelling of that character, so I’ll save you by moving on.

This entire scene, while I liked the shots of the otherwise empty bunker, was just wasting time for me.  I’ve seen people say Sam left a note because Castiel was in heaven and wouldn’t get a text message and how clever of Sam to resort to paper.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I dip in and out of WiFi zones all the time and the moment I dip back in, my phone pings with multiple notifications, so I personally thought this scene was dumb.  It would have been better to see Castiel appear back at the sandpit and get a text notification from Sam with the same message.    

Even better, you could take this scene away and it changes nothing that happens so why include it?  *Whispers* J2 wanted time off and the writers are incompetent of filling that space with something more interesting so use “filler”.  

Interestingly, my computer froze on Castiel’s face for 5 minutes so fuck you Norton or Windows 10 Update for your bad timing in running something in the “background”

BROMENT ALERT

We’re finally with what I’m watching the show for.  Dean and Sam are in baby and driving towards Alaska.  Sam’s phone is lighting up with messages and we find out through Dean that it’s Eileen. 🙄. Oh, Eileen’s being shoved into the narrative now?  Sorry Eileen, the third wheel position on the show has already been filled since Season 7. And fuck you again Dabb because I loved Eileen as a friend of Sam and it’s just yet another thing your reverse Midas fingers have screwed over this season.

Dean: Silent mode is always an option

Me: I love you, have my babies… wait, that came out wrong

Eileen thinks the plan is a little too good to be true.  Sam thinks she might be right.  He’s not convinced the place even exists or that it can fix their problem. Dean thinks it couldn’t hurt and he’s done with normal, including the constant heartburn.

Sam: You know if you changed your diet….  Dean’s frown 😂

Sam insists that no one other than Garth has heard of it and it isn’t in the lore. Dean believes it’s got to be there. He believes Chuck isn’t messing with them,

Dean: He [Chuck] wants us off our game, he wants us weak, ‘cos he’s coming for us Sammy, and when he does, and we haven’t figured this out, we’re DOA.

Mostly a great brother scene, apart from the forced insertion of Eileen – are we incapable of getting a broment in the final chuck damn season, without the completely unnecessary forced inclusion of a third party???!  The scene ends with a great shot of baby.

Back at the bunker and Castiel hears a phone ringing, and… I’m trying not to nitpick, but the way this case comes about just annoys me. There are better ways of bringing this about, than how they did it. But moving on, Castiel answers a random phone that was ringing in Sam’s room, and it’s a sheriff (Jeb Evans) looking for FBI agent, Watts. Castiel tells the sheriff that Agent Watts is working a case in Alaska, and that he is Agent… Lizzo.  I can only assume Dean gave him that alias as I don’t think Castiel would know any musicians on his own.  I like Jeb, who tells Agent Lizzo, they have a homicide and the suspect is someone Agent Watts flagged into the system… and guys… Sam is back to hacking into police systems and I just… I need a moment here as they’ve remembered Sam can hack into systems!

The agent tells Castiel that the suspect is Jack Kline.  

Ummm… Castiel, are you... okay?  Do you… do you maybe need to use the bathroom?  Oh, you’re emoting?  Okay dokay then.  I can’t with this.  I got more out of Leo in the less than 2 minutes he was on screen than I got out of Castiel since his return in season 7.  

Back with the impala, which rolls into a diner stop.  Sam is asleep, and Dean whacks him to wake him up.  Sam wonders why they’ve stopped at “Round up café”.    Dean says it’s the last stop for food for a few hundred miles.

Sam (frowns): Grab something out of the cooler

Dean: Yeah, no, I polished off the last of the sandwiches while you were out

Sam (annoyed): We’re on a budget!

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Last weeks puppy dog eyes fiasco aside, Dean’s still wrapped round Sam’s fingers, they enter the diner, slap some coins on the counter and ask what they can get for $4.60.  Apparently, it’s a slice of pie and a coffee, and I’m moving to Alaska when they secede from the US because that would barely get you just the coffee here.

Dean asks for two forks for the pie

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Long story short on this scene, they get out of the waitress there’s a local urban legend about a magic poolhall in the middle of nowhere, that if you win, you come back lucky.  She says though that no one ever comes back.  Turns out she knew Leonard from the intro, and he went up there because the bank was going to take his house and he met with an accident.

Sam says at least they know now what the downside is.  Dean doesn’t agree, he thinks it could be great, pool is the game of champions, kings, his game, our game, and they have great memories of hustling pool

Sam: yes, because we had to… to eat!

Still not seeing the “luck” Dabb wrote about.  Imagine thinking they were remotely lucky; running scams or hustling pool to put a roof over their head or food in their stomach. And this is where I disconnect with this week’s episode, because of last week’s writing. How are they going to even be good at pool, a game that takes practice and skill?  The things taken away seem to be random and plot devices; lock picking, fighting, hot metal burns, while it appears Dean can still drive okay, fix baby and I’m guessing their pool is going to be okay too, otherwise what’s the point of this episode?  There’s no believable rules to this “bad luck/normal” and I’m left completely drifting and because of it.  It's just badly thought out and executed.

Dean: if pool is the way we get our mojo back then maybe we ain’t as screwed as we thought

Waitress: Hey, you guys drive an impala?... I think you guys have a flat.

😂

Back with Cass and sheriff Jeb, Cass has managed to set up the laptop and access a video the sheriff has sent him.  The video is of Jack killing a doctor and eating his heart. 😷 Jack, no!  I’ll come back to the heart eating later.

Back with the boys, another shot of baby as they pull into “Lurlenes”.  Baby isn’t sounding too good and I think I missed that earlier, but it did somewhat register that she was sounding louder than normal. Good touch.

Dean walks over one of the coins as they head for the entrance which I guess might be Leonard’s from earlier.  I like little details like this.  Once inside, Sam points out they don’t have beer money, much less what it costs to buy into a game.  Dean says they’ll figure something out and goes to the bar and orders two waters. I’m guessing that’s going to hit Dean more than health conscious Sam.  Dean asks the bar person, Evie, how they get into a game.  She calls Pax over and it’s the tall, cutie bouncer from earlier.  Sam asks Evie if she saw Leonard and she says no, but you can tell she’s lying.

Pax takes them to his office and explains the rules of the game, that they don’t bet with money, they bet with luck.  He gets Dean to touch a coin he puts down and it turns green.  Pax looks at the coin and says “not great”

Dean: And that means?

Pax explains that everyone walks in with a certain amount of luck, that the green glow was Dean’s and it was “about average.”  Dean thinks that sounds about right.  I’m going to head-canon that Dean’s luck is about average of the people that find the pool hall, but below average in general, due to Chuck screwing around with them.

Pax says if Dean wins a game, he might see his fortunes improve.

Sam: And if he loses?

 Pax says he can keep playing, but if the coin goes blank, that means you’re out of luck, and you’ve got to leave.  He asks if they’ve got any questions.

Sam (a bit pissy): What is this place? Who owns it?

Pax says he doesn’t know, but if they don’t like it, they are free to leave.

Dean: When I win, can I split it (indicates Sam)… the luck?

Pax (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍 Oh, wait, sorry, that was me

Pax: it’s yours, you can do what you want

Sam asks for a second to talk to his husband brother.

Sam: no, no, no, no, no way (complete with shaking finger)

Dean: man, I’ve been slinging pool cues since before you were born

Snarky!Sam: when you were four, really? In between snack time and nap? 😂

Dean (internally): damn, I forgot you were my brother for a second and I can’t bullshit you

Dean tells Sam that they need to do this, and that Sam is pretty much better than him, at everything, he’s not mad about it, he’s proud… but he can wipe the floor with Sam at pool.  Dean takes Sam’s epic eyeroll as silent permission he can play.

Back with Castiel, he investigates the doctor’s office and finds a weird case which has a sword inside.  We flashback to a previous episode with Sam tied to a chair (🙄 it must have been a Thursday).  Anyway, the flashback tells us the doctor was one of the Grigori, a brotherhood of perfect beings.  I’d forgotten about them and might have to look them up before I touch the heart eating thing. Note: I did look them up and it was a Claire episode, so never mind, that’s why I forgot about them.

We transition from Cas to Jack and he seems to be following someone with the same case as the doctor, so another Grigori.  He follows the Grigori into an abandoned building.

Back at the pool hall and no one is biting to play with the noob.  Okay, I’m ashamed to say I laughed at this next bit, Dean deliberately breaks badly and loudly proclaims that he’s rusty at this.  Oh Dean.  No one’s going to fall for… Surprisingly he actually gets a taker and asks Dean to rack up.  Sam goes back to the bar to speak to Evie.  She asks if he plays and he says not really.  Sam asks Evie what the woman’s deal is that’s playing Dean (Moira).  Evie says she’s been here a while and her sister is in a coma.

Sam goes into awkward question mode, and I have flashbacks to the earlier seasons. He asks about rotten eggs.  Evie responds: Just Charlie…   We pan over to Charlie and he’s playing pool badly. Sam then asks if she’s seen “little bundles” laying around.  She says no, but she gets that he’s trying to figure the place out.  Sam says places like this don’t exist for no reason, she answers that most people think it’s a godsend.  She gives him information on a couple of people playing, they won at first, could have walked away winners, but kept playing until their luck ran sour. She repeats they should have walked away which is a clear warning for Sam who looks over at his brother who wins the game.

Back with Jack, he’s got an angel blade and is still after the Grigori. Unfortunately, the Grigori twigged he was being followed and now has Jack at blade point.

Back at the pool hall and Sam is trying to convince Dean they need to leave, and I’m trying not to be distracted by the picture in the scene behind them.

 Dean (brandishing his coin at Sam): Come on man, I’m on a roll

Snarky!Sam: Dean, you won one game!

Sam thinks the place sucks you in and that if Dean keeps playing, he’ll lose and end up like Leonard.  Dean convinces Sam who reluctantly allows him to have one more game.

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Dean finds his mark, which is Joey from the intro.  We see Dean playing well and Joey asks what his name was again.

Dean: my name is Dean Winchester and I am going to kick your ass.

Sam: 😍 that’s my platonic soulmate husband brother

Joey smiles.  

They talk as Dean clears the table.  Turns out Joey used to work the bull riding circuit.  

Dean (cocky smile): tell me, how was that?… corner pocket.   He misses the shot

Joey (grinning): good times (he pots and all he can do is hide the cue ball behind another ball, giving Dean a very tricky shot on the 8 ball)… and some not so good.

Dean goes to take the shot and Joey challenges double or nothing if Dean misses. Sam doesn’t like it.  Dean asks if Joey is trying to hustle him.

Joey: I thought you were going to kick my ass

Dean smiles and agrees to the deal, does a trick shot with the cue ball jumping over the other ball and potting the 8 ball.

Joey closes his eyes.  Sam looks happy, then Joey says: a hell of a shot.  

Dean watches as the coins glow green and Joey’s coin is now dull, and this is sad because even if Sam and Dean haven’t realised the implication yet, Joey is not long for this world.  Joey leaves, and Sam and Dean follow.  Joey congratulates Dean on the game yet again and says, “I guess you can’t hustle a hustler.” Sam’s concerned when Joey starts coughing.  Turns out Joey is dying, he has cancer, he came to the pool hall to beat it, and Sam and Dean have finally caught up with me that this game sucks.  This is the first time in a long time, I’ve felt anything for a character on this show that we only meet for a limited time in a single episode, so I’m going to kudos the writing and the guest star for this one. This is what happens when you actually put some characterisation into your writing.

Sam and Dean go back inside.  Dean said the plan worked so they should hit the road.

Sam: What about everybody else?

Sam wants to stay and figure out how they can help them. Dean reminds him they are in a fight with God and they just got their mojo back.  Sam challenges whether there’s even enough luck in the coin for them. Dean says they’ll give it a try by him going for a drive and if baby’s okay, they are leaving.  End of.

Back with Castiel and he meets sheriff Jeb at the abandoned building Jack was captured in. A transient spotted Jack going into the building so called the police. Castiel asks Jeb if there are any other abandoned places around. Jeb tells him about a church.

Back with Sam and he’s talking to Charlie, who is apparently playing so his team can win the Super Bowl and part of me is 😂 and part of me is, I feel you my friend, because Canucks and the Stanley Cup, and desperate measures at this stage.  

Sam: that’s great, it is, but is it really worth your life?

Me (picturing the Stanley cup being paraded through the streets of Vancouver): …Yes?!

The puppy dog eyes fail again, Charlie says “just one more game.” And goes back to playing

Evie says at least Sam tried but no one will listen.  She says none of “us” are going anywhere.  Sam asks if they are trapped here, if Evie was trapped here.   She leaves rapidly.

Dean arrives back, baby’s dead again, he didn’t even make it out of the parking lot. Sam takes a look at the coin Dean slams down.  He believes Dean should have won more luck than he did, given how many people Joey likely beat before Dean played him and all that accumulated luck should have gone to Dean when he won, but it doesn’t seem to.  Sam thinks someone is stealing the luck, skimming off the top.  

Dean: You mean like the house?

Sam (lifts coin showing head): her… I think

Dean takes the coin and reads: Atrox Fortvnta

Sam says she’s the Roman goddess of luck.  So, Sam’s allowed to be smart as a plot contrivance this week?  *cough* hot metal burns *cough*.  

They go speak to Evie about who runs the place.  She says she can’t help them. Sam asks why she warned him in the first place.  Evie says so he would take his brother and go.    Dean asks why Evie is there, does the god have something over her. Evie says she played and lost and is only alive because she lets her stay as long as she keeps working.   Sam asks if the god is here, but Evie doesn’t know, she only talks to Pax and drops the revelation that Pax is the god’s son.

Back with Jack and the Grigori has injured him and holding him captive. He knows what Jack is and that he’s powerful.  The Grigori wants to know why Jack killed his kind.  The Grigori have their own frequency of angel radio. Me, 🙄 of course you do because easy plot device.  Before his brother died, he called to the Grigori.  He asks Jack if he did that to draw him out, to kill him too.

Back with Sam and Dean, Sam approaches Pax wanting to ask a question. While Pax is focused on Sam, Dean grabs him and holds him at knifepoint.

Sam (niceness gone): Where’s your mom?

Loved that bit

Pax doesn’t answer so Sam shouts “Fortuna.”  Dean follows with, “We have your son”

 Moira walks through the pool hall and we know she is now Fortuna.

Sam says they know she’s skimming luck and they want it back.  Dean threatens to kill Pax if she doesn’t

Fortuna: well, you probably could, his daddy was human, but no

Pax (shocked pikachu face): Mom!

Fortuna: I’m sorry baby, I can always make more sons

Sam and Dean (shocked pikachu faces).  

Uh oh, leverage gone. Dean releases Pax, but not before the blade cuts his throat a little.

Dean demands Fortuna to play him for it. She says she’s already played him and got a read on him.  He’s just a “beach read”.  Sexy, but skimmable.

Dean (how dare you face): beach read? lady, I’m Tolstoy

Fortuna laughs and says, “That’s very funny” and approaches Sam: this one here, now he could be interesting

Dean (Protective big brother mode activated): Wait, no, no, that’s…. Uh uh

Sam (I’m 36 years old Dean, not a kid anymore mode activated): Fine… Yeah, okay, but not for our luck.  I’ll play for the lives of everybody in here.

Fortuna doesn’t agree, she says the deal is only for their luck and if they lose, she wants their lives.  She wants to make an example of them.

The Grigori is torturing Jack, cutting his skin.  Jack says he can’t kill him.  There’s then expose on the Grigori feeding off souls, and this one feeds off children. I think I’m supposed to not feel sorry for the Grigori when Jack eats his heart, but I do have a few issues which I’ll come onto later.  Jack looks to the side and it’s clear he catches something.  The Grigori reaches for his sword and points it at Jack’s throat. He asks who told Jack that.  He answers Death.  

The Grigori senses someone behind him.  Now given the Grigori are supposed to be elite and much more powerful than ordinary angels, I’m embarrassed for this one and have no idea how on Earth this Grigori managed to survive to being last of his kind as even Castiel despatched him fairly easily, without too much of a fight, but “new canon” I guess. 🤷‍♀️

With no tests whatsoever, Castiel releases Jack from his bonds.  I’m presuming one of Castiel random powers of the week is being able to automatically tell it’s Jack.  We get a Cass and Jack hug and I … don’t really care to be honest.  I can’t watch Cass without viewing that awful scene in Purgatory so I’m over him.

Back at the pool hall, Sam breaks, potting 2 balls immediately.  I love, love, love this next bit: as Sam lines up his next shot, we see Dean nodding in agreement, because yep, that’s the shot he would have went for too.   Sam proceeds to knock down a couple more, Fortuna has said a couple of things, but Sam is focusing on the game.  She asks why they need the luck so bad, girlfriend problems? Liver failure? (She looks at Dean here).  Sam answers: “a curse by god” and misses the next shot.

Fortuna: Life’s a bitch and then you die

Me: Hey! That’s my philosophy!

Dean: THE god literally cursed us

Fortuna (sarcastic disbelief): You’ve met

Dean: Yeah, Little guy, squirrelly as hell

Fortuna: Yeah, that’s him… well, welcome to the club

Dean: the club?

Fortuna answers with exposition while winning the game. God created the world, but humans created the gods, kind of, which led to God creating the other gods. Dean asks why, which makes her angry and she misses the next shot.  She says they were created to take the blame for anything that went wrong.  That only worked for a while before his ego got the better of him, now he hides behind whatever religion pays the biggest syndication deals.  She keeps talking about how pissed she is and that she’s holding a grudge.  Sam meanwhile is quietly potting balls and winning the game.  She realises this and shakes off her mood, “oh well, what can you do?”

Dean: we’re going to fight him

Fortuna: are you now?  And when you lose?

Sam’s voice from off screen: we lose swinging

He then appears in shot and says “8 ball, corner pocket” and she realises the game is nearly over.

Sam lines up for the shot, looks at Dean briefly, then… he wins.  I wasn’t expecting that, and Dean is happy too.

Fortuna (to Sam):  you little minx, you got me talking!

Sam smirks

Fortuna: you’re good

Sam: I learned from my brother

Dean approaches: all right, you know the deal, even up

Fortuna offers to make it interesting, if they are going to fight God, that’s the stuff of heroes and they are going to need the luck of heroes.  Hercules, some other people, she helped them all.  Sam asks what the catch is. She says another game, double or nothing.  

Dean: Double?  That’s how the cowboy died.

Sam agrees to play, “but not for more luck,” he indicates the room, “for them.  If I win, you have to let them go.”

Fortuna: I’m not stopping them

Sam: Okay, when I win, you have to give back the luck you stole, close up shop

Fortuna: What is with you and these losers?  They’re nothing, they don’t matter

Sam: they matter to me

Dean: they matter to us

Everyone in the poolhall (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Fortuna agrees.  She breaks, and it all goes downhill from there.  Sam doesn’t even get to play a shot.  

They lost. There’s silence

Fortuna: you challenged the goddess of luck in her own joint, what did you think was going to happen?

Me: pretty much this tbh, I’m actually surprised Sam won the first game

Dean: well, we had to try

Fortuna: well, that was stupid

My poor boys.  They leave the poolhall.

Dean: I thought she was going to kill us

Sam: well she doesn’t have to, our luck will do that on its own … Dean, we can’t just…

Dean:… leave ‘em?  Yeah, I know.

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Dean: all right, well let’s go get WiFi and see what kills Lady Luck, we’ll circle back

Sam’s agreeing when Evie comes out, followed by the other players.  They ask her what happened. She says Fortuna shut it down.  They ask why

 Evie: Because of you, she said she thought your kind had gone extinct

Sam: Our kind?

Evie: Heroes, like the old days

Fortuna also gave her a message to pass on, “Don’t play Chucks game, make him play yours.

She hands Sam a coin which he somewhat reluctantly takes.  He holds it in his closed fist as she walks away.  He opens his hand and we see the coin glow green on his skin.  Dean “grabby hands” Winchester snatches the coin, getting a glare from Sam and the coin glows green in his hand too.

They get into the car and Dean fires up the engine.  “We’re back baby!”  

Aww, Dean called Sam baby.  

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Also me: You can take your “Castiel is a lamp” sub zero text and whack yourself over the head with it.  

They drive away. And I’m left behind wondering if they’ve got their “normal” luck back or the supercharged hero luck that Sam said he didn’t want and that’s why he was reluctant to take the coin.

They arrive back at the bunker.  Dean’s scratching lottery cards and doesn’t win.  So much for the superhero luck.

Sam consoles his husband brother that they might not have won the lottery, but they have no car trouble, the credit cards work again, and Dean was able to eat back to back bacon double cheeseburgers, that didn’t kill him. So…

Dean: that was beautiful by the way… I’m just saying, would it have killed her to give us a little extra?

Sam: well, she thinks we’re really heroes, maybe they don’t get all the answers

Well hopefully that conversation answered my concern from earlier.

Cass appears, looking shifty (when doesn’t he tbh).  They know something is wrong and Sam asks him.  He steps aside and Jack appears. Jack dorky waves hello and we all melt and immediately forget he killed their mom and did some other really naughty stuff that at the very least should get him a time out.  Apparently, Dean and Sam forget too.    This scene is shot with Jack and Cass at one side of the reading room and Sam and Dean on the other.

Sam: Jack?

Castiel (to Sam): it’s really him

Sam walks over to Jack first and gets quicker as he reaches him and we get a Sam and Jack hug, and since I didn’t get one in season 14, I’ll ignore the mom killing, heart eating etc. for a few minutes and enjoy the hell out of this one. Yes, I’m fickle!  But I loved this nougat eating baby before Dabb ruined him.

Dean walks across more slowly, reaches and grasps Jack behind his neck, staring into his face as if checking it’s really him.  I think he’s struggling to see past the burnt-out eyes which was their last view of him.  He looks briefly at Cass once.  To me it’s a silent thank you (headcanon for bringing Jack back for Sam in particular), and an equally silent, you’re welcome.  Jack looks a little apprehensive as obviously the last time he was alive, Dean was going to shoot him, stopped only by Sam.

They all have a beer at the map table, Sam asks Jack about eating hearts, so it’s good that hasn’t been hidden.  Jack said he had to.

Dean (to Castiel): and you let him?

Castiel nods (likely waiting for the anger for doing the wrong thing)

Dean (shrugs): hmmm

And… that is not my Dean.  They’ve turned him into a neutered house cat and idiots are calling it “growth”.  And all I can hope is that his natural instincts fight their way through, I believe it’s wrong to trust Jack is okay eating hearts, even of ones that eat children’s souls and I hope we see that develop as we progress.

Sam: you could have called us

Jack: every day I wanted to come home, but I couldn’t

Dean: why not?

Jack: because if I don’t stay hidden, if I use my powers, my grandfather, he’ll know I’m back, and try and kill me… again… he’s afraid of me, and that’s why we had to wait.

Castiel: Billy kept him hidden in the empty, until Chuck went off world

Jack: she let me out when it was safe

Dean: safe to what? Eat a bunch of angel hearts?

Jack: safe to do what I have to.  

Turns out the hearts were just the beginning, they made Jack strong, but not strong enough.  If Jack follows her plan, he’ll get stronger and he’ll be able to kill god.

Sam and Dean (in winsync):  bitch please, this is our show!

Not really, that was just me and we end on that note.  I could wish we had ended on “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, but season 15 music budget.  Sigh.

So, I have a few other issues with this episode, particularly with the Jack side of the storyline, off the top of my head;  

1)      I’m hoping we aren’t sweeping what he did in season 14 under a rug, a la Castiel.  

2)      I’m hoping we aren’t just going to support him eating hearts (even of bad angels) without fully investigating what this supposed plan is.

3)      I’m struggling with the heart thing anyway. I don’t believe an angel has a heart to eat, only the human vessel does so I’m going to need an explanation on why eating human hearts is supposedly goring to make jack stronger, and why we don’t care about the human vessel

4)      I’m struggling with how a lesser god can give back what God took away, even if that lesser god is the goddess of luck, God still trumps her.  

Other than that, I think Death is bad now, or at least Billy’s version of death is. I think they changed course on wanting to kill the Winchesters a couple of seasons ago when they realised they could play a part in them reaping God. Possible reason, just being tired after all this time, and wanting it all to end. And it can’t end before Chuck dies. Possible power play.

I still think Chuck will die.  I still think the Winchesters will become firewalls, not sure what Jack is, other than a toddler whose power needs to be bound until he can wield it responsibly, and Castiel is going to sacrifice himself at some point. And the less we say about Eileen, the better.

Next episode is up after Hellatus the welcome break from the caricature this show has become 

[lizacstuff]

Liza - I really enjoyed the meta on your favorite echo scene and hope you do more. I’ll eagerly devour any that you’d care to share. If you need a prompt maybe favorite angsty scene?

It’s so hard for me to choose, because I love the final Echo scenes in ep 3, 4 and 5.  I’ve watched all of them many times; they brim with angst.  If I have to choose one, I’ll go with the confrontation at the drive-in in ep 3. A few things I loved about the scene:

The Awkward -  The initiation of this scene is so deliciously awkward. Max is in the car with Cam, trying (futilely) to move on from Liz, and then suddenly there’s his dream girl, pounding on the car. Honestly, I enjoyed the way Cam (understandably) tries to object and is just roundly dismissed. Liz just gives her a look like, “This is so much bigger than you, back off,” and it works. Admittedly, I also enjoy that Max and Cam both know that Max is going to get out of the car and follow her. Sorry Cam, you drew the short end of the stick here. (As an aside, this was the last time I felt sorry for Cam on the romantic front because this was the exact moment she should have cut her losses with Max. The writings on the wall, girl.) Once he does follow Liz, he’s so deliciously frustrated when he asks, “What is this about?“ I get the feeling that maybe he thinks it’s a jealousy thing. Think again, buddy. (It is a bit, but not about Cam)  So when watching I felt a surge of vindication on Liz’s behalf when she shoves that letter in his face. Yasss, she is completely justified interrupting his date.  

Trust & Faith - Even though Liz knows the murderer is an alien (limiting the suspects significantly) and then finds evidence that indicates that Max not only saw Rosa the night she died, but was having an affair with her, Liz still goes directly to him and confronts him BY HERSELF.  We know Kyle was trying to call her and presumably she ignored it. It never occurs to her that she might need backup or even that it might be a good idea to let Kyle know what she’s doing. She goes alone and allows herself to be in a vulnerable situation with someone she’s going to accuse of murder. Wow. And once she confronts him, she lets it rip. She comes at him verbal guns blazing, methodically leveling every charge she has at him. She hides nothing, she doesn’t back down for a second. However, at no point watching the scene do I sense any fear of him. At all. She’s angry at him, she’s suspicious of him, but she’s not scared. In her mind she may be confronting a murderer, but she just knows that she’s in no danger from him. She has faith he won’t hurt her, even if she fears he hurt her sister. It’s pretty extraordinary. 

Max’s Mortification - Nathan does such an outstanding job when Liz starts reading Max’s ye olde love letter out-loud.  With his body language and tone you can just feel that Max wants to physically climb into a hole and hide. 

(perfect gif by @thatonekimgirl reblog the whole set here)

(much more under the cut)

He would prefer almost anything in that moment than having his 17-year-old words being flung back at him by their muse. He begs her to put an end to his humiliation, “Please just stop, come on.”  I was holding my breath waiting for him to blurt out that the letter was for her. On rewatch I love his squirming, I want to bathe in a pool of his angsty teen discomfort, but the first time I watched it was excruciating. Well done.  

Liz’s Motivation - When Max finally confesses that the note was meant for her, her reaction is swift and angry. Of course the thought had occurred to her. She’s obviously read the letter carefully with that in mind because she was able to offer an immediate rebuttal to the idea: “This isn’t about us. You and I never kissed.” I think her drive to confront him immediately that night is being driven by jealousy. When Max shows her his memories in the pilot, he convinces her that she’s special to him. Liz believes it and I don’t think suspicion being shifted to him as she starts to investigate, changes that. We know it doesn’t because she attempts to manipulate him with it: “We can get to know each other.” In narration, Liz essentially tells us she has to put aside the feelings and investigate objectively. However, here she is, full of feelings, banging on cars, furiously confronting a would-be murderer with no clear plan, and I don’t think she would be that reckless or enraged unless she was truly hurt. The letter being for Rosa means not only is he probably a murderer, but it also means what she felt from him when they connected is also probably a lie, and that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.  

Jeanine is amazing as realization dawns on Liz and she remembers that day in April of senior year, remembers the blackout. She’s stunned, flattered, disconcerted; you can feel her anger melt away, and something much softer take its place. However, Liz must feel that too, feel her guard go down, because it only lasts a beat before she regroups and gets back on task. However, now that the jealousy has evaporated, she’s much more methodical. She’s able to catalog the evidence against him clearly and concisely. Well… she’s able to do that until Max brings out the big gun.

The Declaration - The best part of this scene is, of course, Max verbalizing his feelings for Liz. While watching I was mentally yelling, “Tell her you couldn’t have done it because you love her!!!”  AND then he did exactly that. “I have loved you my entire life, including every single day you were gone in the last decade.” Damn, son.

At the time, neither Liz nor the audience knows what happened to Rosa, and it’s obvious that Max knows more than he’s saying. However, Liz, and the viewer, are left with no doubts that when Max says he loves her, he means it. It’s not a cover, it’s not an excuse or distraction. It’s deep and real to him. It’s astonishing, really, because this scene starts with him on a date with another woman, and we know he’s hiding something, but we still give ourselves over and believe in his feelings for her. Part of that is the writing, part is the lightening-rod chemistry between the actors, and part of it is the intensity and raw emotion Nathan brings to the declaration and the sense of heart-stopping awe Jeanie brings to Liz’s reaction. Liz believes so we believe.

  In Hindsight -  Within a few episodes we find out exactly what Max is hiding, which makes rewatching this scene so fascinating. When Liz asks if he murdered Rosa, Max is genuinely shocked and wounded that she could even think he is capable of something like that. 

(Fab gif by @wonderrbat  go here to reblog the full set)

Look at that face! He’s sincerely crushed by the accusation, which is a bit disingenuous since he thinks, you know, that his sister did it.  Still, I believe his emotional reaction.

On a similar note, this line stuck out to me at the time, but I had no idea how telling it would become: “After all we have been through, do you truly believe I’m capable of killing someone you love.”  It’s the “you love” part that got me.  Then it was notable because most people would stop before that: “Do you truly believe I am capable of killing someone?” Full stop. However, we find out later that Max is entirely capable of killing someone, has few qualms and is pretty damn stone cold about it. So it’s the “you love” part that’s significant. It’s sweet that he’s capable of murder, but he draws the line at murdering people she loves. (that’s a joke, but also kinda not)

When viewed holistically, what astonishes me about this scene is that our flawed alien boy manages to protect the secret, while still being about as emotionally open and honest as one human being can be with another. It’s rare, stunning and shockingly romantic.

[gusenitsaa]

Between him and the world.

Excerpt from: Lingering by @distant-rose  (She left a whumpy detail undescribed so ... obviously I had to write the backstory thing.)  Starts as an angsty chat, turns into fanficing in @pirate-owl‘s inbox....as I do.  Complete with occasional conversational detours for @distant-rose‘s entertainment :P  

She finds a particularly jagged scar cutting across the left side of abdomen, cleverly hidden by the dark body of a vicious looking shark. She runs her fingers along it, studying it with a small frown.“Where did you get this guy?”

“The shark? Ages ago. Was drunk and thought it would look menacing.”

“I wasn’t talking about the shark,” Emma replies, deliberating tracing the old wound and looking up at him with raised eyebrows. “I’m talking about the scar.”

Killian is silent for a long moment, to the point that Emma is certain that he’s never going to answer her. However, he opens his mouth and lets out a shaky breath before speaking in a low voice just above a whisper. “When I was boy…There was a captain of a ship who…he…he wasn’t a good man and he threatened my brother with a knife when he thought we were knicking his rum…I got in between them.”

“How old were you?”

“Ten.”

@gusenitsaa​ :  I mean that’s an @icecubelotr44​ level tempting tidbit

@pirate-owl : wow Liam would have been pissed.Not at the man threatening him, he is used to threats, but at his idiot little brother who got in the way.  And Liam is better at defusing a potentially violent situation than Killian is. No one might have been stabbed if Killian hadn't gotten involved. Or Liam might have, but since when has that mattered to Liam?

Gusenitsaa: Also, ironically I suspect Liam was actually nicking his rum.  How else does he usually manage to have a bit on hand for when Killian gets himself hurt?

Pirate-Owl: Ugh! That just makes it worse!   :’( :’( :’(  Ooooh! Do you that is what gives Liam his insanely protective complex?

Gusenitsaa: I dunno.  Killian is what, 10.  How long has brennan been gone at that point in your head canon?

Pirate-Owl: Killian was nine or ten when Brennan sold them. At least in my headcanon.

Gusenitsaa: Right.... the actors age thing is screwing me up again because lil' liam is definitely not 16-17

Pirate-Owl: It can go as low as maybe seven or eight if I really want an age gap. But yeah, Liam I usually headcanon as maybe five years older than Killian, and that is at the upper limit of the age gap.

Gusenitsaa: Well I guess it depends on that.  If brennan had been gone for three years before this happened I kinda doubt liam managed to avoid a complex for so long.  But if this is fairly soon after brennan left its definitely the kind of mess that could traumatize him into the obsessed-with-protecting-the-little-one mess we know and love

Pirate-Owl: Yeah. If this is soon, then it could totally be where Liam got his complex. But I think he managed to avoid a complex for like a week before he was that lovable traumatized mess.

Gusenitsaa: And we know I do love the head canon that it wasn't just a gradual transition.  I do love the idea of " Something " happening that triggered him to suddenly realign every priority the way he does

Pirate-Owl: Yeah. I think it makes more sense. I mean you could make a convincing argument for Brennan selling them being the Something, but honestly it's more interesting fun in line with what little we know about him before and after if there was some other specific catalyst that prompted it

Gusenitsaa: yeah almost watching your 10 year old brother die because you weren't careful covering your tracks knicking the supplies you need

Pirate-Owl: That does seem like a fairly extreme Something.

Gusenitsaa: course its worse if it wasn't actually about rum as a disinfectant and it was a teenaged liam's half a second of being a normal teenage boy.....

Pirate-Owl: :’( Which is why he never lets himself be a normal teenage boy ever again.   :’( :’( :’( 

Gusenitsaa: Like 15 yo Liam: does something that like 90% of teenagers have done at some point  *almost gets his little brother killed * Well.... I guess I'll just never ever be a kid ever again.  cool. cool.

Pirate-Owl: Yeah. Sounds exactly like Liam.

Gusenitsaa:

It hadn’t even been enough to get him tipsy.

It was a feeble protest and one that he was smart enough to keep locked behind his lips when the captain confronted him about the swallow of rum that he shouldn’t have possibly been able to notice was missing from the captain’s bottle and maybe he didn’t know -maybe he just guessed- Liam’s mind was scrambling. It was a stupid, foolish impulse.  A reckless and useless act of rebellion against a situation he couldn’t escape and  he’d regretted it practically as soon as the liquid burned its way passed his lips.  That was two days ago now and he’d thought it had gone unnoticed.

Until now.

The captain looked like he’d had more than a swallow or two by the time he confronted Liam, cornering him below where he’d been helping Killian to stack crates.  He thought at first he was going to be yelled at for assisting his little brother… again… but it was nonsense.  Killian, all of ten years old last week he shoved the bitterness down further and closed that trunk hard  He was too little to lift the crates, and couldn’t reach high enough to tie them securely in place.  Liam had wondered more than once if giving this job to a nine ten year old was more about giving him an excuse to ‘correct’ the boy later than it was about actually wanting the hold ‘organized.’

Pirate-Owl: :’( :’( :’( 

Gusenitsaa:

Regardless, the captain seemed not even to notice Killian, who shrank back behind a crate instinctively when he came bellowing down.  Liam shot his brother a look that he hoped communicated do. not. move. and glanced into the enraged and drunken eyes of their owner captain.  

If he admitted it, he was dead.

Stealing from the captain didn't have degrees on this ship so Liam adopted an apologetic submissive expression...  then lied through his teeth.  "I never would, captain, I swear it.'

The captain was unimpressed,  pressing closer until Liam could smell the rum.  It smelled far fouler now on his captain’s breath than it had tasted.

“You’re worthless-“ the captain sneered.  “Don’t know why I keep either of you brats.” 

Liam shoved the indignation down and kept his tone calm and deferring. “We work hard, Cap’n.” 

“Just another damned mouth to feed.  It’s no wonder your father left you behind.  I should have kept the boat.” 

Yes, you should have.

He kept his eyes locked in the captain’s direction,  trying to suppress the urge to glance at Killian to see his reaction. Even at barely ten years old he gave Liam's temper a run for its money.  Twice the fire and half the will to keep it reigned in, all in a tiny package barely tall enough to reach the top of one of these crates .

Apologize first.  Avert the captain’s rage first.  Hate him later.  Survive first,  think later.

“I’m sorry you think so, cap’n-“

The captain sneered and didn’t let him finish,  charging forward before Liam had time to blink.  He sees a flash of silver and he froze,  unable to think,  unable to decide… can’t fight back,  it’ll get them killed, can’t run away there’s no where to run.

And then every alarm bell in his 15 year old brain went off at once because his little spitfire-of-a-brother had darted out from behind the crate faster than lightening.

“No, K-“  It was too late.  Killian barreled between Liam and his captain.  A quiet hiss of breath and the captain stumbled back.  Rage and confusion balanced precariously for a moment that something had come between him and his target.  Then the man grinned and Liam’s stomach sank.  He reached for Killian,  tugging him behind him an eternity too late as the captain laughed. 

There was blood on his hands.  It took Liam a moment to realize that it was on his own hands too.

Pirate-Owl: :’( :’( :’( 

Gusenitsaa:

He took his eyes off his laughing captain to where he held Killian pressed to his side with one arm.  Killian looked a little sick and his hands were pressed tight to his stomach, bright red blood seeping between his fingers.

No.

Liam turned fully to Killian as he sagged, the words of the captain entirely irrelevant now.  He thought he’d heard something about ‘a lesson’ but he just didn’t care enough to turn back.  Apparently the captain decided that he’d done enough because a blade didn’t slide between his ribs while he sank to the ground with Killian.

“Killian what the devil were you thinking?” he hissed. Killian grinned up at him. It was more grimace than grin, admittedly, but Liam saw the defiant spark in his little brother’s eye and shook his head, hands hesitating for only a moment before pulling off his tunic to press it against the wound.  He wished he had something better,  something cleaner,  but there was nothing in this room save boxes and ropes and Killian’s smirk had fallen,  replaced with a groan as Liam pressed down on it.

“That’s what you get, you-”  He trailed off,  Some poorly thought through chastisement on the tip of his tongue but his mouth dried up on the word ‘bloody.’  “Killian, look at me.”Killian’s eyes slanted open and Liam nodded.  “Good. It’s not bad, all right?  You’re going to fine.  I’m going to take care of you.”

Pirate-Owl: (Do at least try to remember that Killian has to survive to tell the story of the scar later)

Gusenitsaa: plot twist,  it wasn't liam's first deal with a devil.  except even I'm not awful enough to kill a fictional ten year old

Pirate-Owl: It's always good to know what your limit is. Stabbing a fictional ten year old is acceptable but killing one isn't.

Gusenitsaa: technically distant rose stabbed him

Pirate-Owl : She didn't run with it!

Gusenitsaa: I'm just leveraging it to break a 15 year old utterly...

Pirate-Owl: *sideeyes*

Gusenitsaa:

“Killian, look at me.”  Killian’s eyes slanted open and Liam nodded.  “Good. It’s not bad, all right?  You’re going to fine.  I’m going to take care of you.” 

“I know,” came the breathy response. The words hurt.  Gods they hurt more than anything Killian could have said in that moment.  Killian trusted him.  Trusted him completely and this was all his fault…(though I suspect later brennan will get his share of the blame)

Pirate-Owl: :’( :’( :’(

Gusenitsaa: 

He thought that quiet assurance had hurt more than anything else could.  He was wrong.  One moment Killian's gaze had been steady and assured then something in Liam's face must have faltered and Killian's face fell with it, a hint of a scared ten year old peaking through the cracks.

"It's alright," Liam reassured quietly, fighting to keep the uncertainty from his voice and his hands steady.  He desperately wanted to lift the fabric slightly,  but he was afraid to remove the makeshift bandage which already seemed to be doing so little to slow the flow of blood.  He pulled a small knife in a leather sheath from his pocket.  It didn't belong to him,  was just granted to him for the job of cutting the ropes."Bite down on this," Liam said quietly, and Killian obliged, all too familiar with this dance.  Liam folded the messy layers of his now scarlet tunic on top of each other to thicken the bandage and pressed down hard.  "Sorry, little brother," he muttered under his breath when Killian went stiff, a small whimper all the noise he permitted himself.  He was too young.  Too young to know how to do that.  

Liam cursed Brennan again.

The blood chilled on Liam's hands and Killian shivered.  He was pale and looked a little glassy eyed but he held Liam's gaze for a moment.  Liam tugged him closer, risking taking one hand from the wound to pull Killian into his lap.  Killian rested his head against Liam,  looking sleepy and befuddled, as though he'd just woken up from a long nap.  He should be in a warm bed with a doctor to care for him.  He shouldn't be here at all.

Pirate-Owl: :’(

Gusenitsaa:

The sheath fell from Killian's mouth as his head dropped heavier against his brother,  dragged under by a tide of exhaustion and blood loss.  The blade landed with a thump on the wood next to them, and Liam's rising panic was calmed slightly by Killian meeting his eyes.  "Just resting" Killian said weakly.   Liam's eyes slipped to the knife next to them.  It was a little thing,  barely long enough for the job he was expected to do with it.

Long enough to rip out the captain's throat.

The thought came to him in a surprising calmness.  It wasn't threat or despair. He just knew, in that moment, that if Killian didn't survive neither would the captain.It was little comfort.

(It is a truth universally acknowledged that in every universe... liam is one bad day away from murder.  Apparently even at 15)

Pirate-Owl: (Does it really count as murder if he is killing the man who owns him?)

Gusenitsaa: justifiable homicide is probably not a thing that exists in this contexts though it probably should

Pirate-Owl: Yeah. I don't think the crew would care why.

Gusenitsaa:

Killian's shivering was growing worse by the moment,   and Liam tugged him closer,  wondering if he dared move Killian yet.  There wasn't much in terms of blankets aboard, but this time of year there was little competition for them,  the room felt warm to Liam even as Killian trembled.   Killian had always been the little one, and now, fighting for every crust, Liam supposed he always would be.  He could move Killian, yes,  but it would mean taking the pressure off his wound.  Was it a good trade for the chance to get him wrapped up in some blankets and ease the trembling? He took Killian's hand and his little brother opened one eye.  "Can you hold it?" he asked quietly.

Killian nodded instantly,  agreeing probably before he’d had the chance to think about it.  Liam waited a moment to see if he would change his mind.  Killian’s hand replaced Liam’s and Liam scooped Killian up quickly, making for the crews quarters.

It was a risk.  There were some among the crew who would use this weakness to their advantage, but Liam had a blade in his pocket and he couldn’t hide Killian in the hold forever.  He needed water and blankets and a real doctor.

Pirate-Owl: :’( :’(

Gusenitsaa: 

This crew had no real doctor.  They had a surgeon.  A man who was more accurately described as a butcher than a doctor.  Good for little more than wrapping up wounds and chopping off limbs.  Liam shuddered slightly at the thought.  He could find the blankets and water at least.

He settled Killian in the bunk they shared.  It was a tiny thing,  though that rarely bothered them.  It was unusual for them to share a shift off, in fact it only ever happened when one of them was injured badly enough that the captain was forced to give them a few hours of unscheduled relief or risk the loss of a pair of working hands and then it was a relief to have the other close enough to watch their back. Today was no exception.  Liam hesitated, once Killian was settled,  the prospect of leaving him alone unnerving.  He fished the tiny knife from his pocket and pressed it into Killian's grip.  

"I'll be back as soon as I can."  Killian had done well,  jaw tight, but letting no sound of weakness escape him as Liam carried him into the crew's quarters.  Now he whimpered slightly and Liam tousled his hair.  "Count to 100 little brother,  and I'll be back."

Killian nodded and Liam could see his lips moving, the  count beginning under his breath.  Liam did the same,  moving from the side of the cot in search of water and blankets.  4...5...6... 

The warmth of the season meant sheets were available, fortunately,  though stashed in various nooks and crannies.  When he found them they were musty from the hold but thankfully dry.  40... 41... 42...  He shook them out and threw several over a shoulder.  Water was both easier and harder, depending on who watched the barrel today.  56... 57... 58... Liam was relieved to see one of the younger crewman there.  He had no taste for generosity or for malace, which was about as good as he could hope for.  Liam offered both Killian's flask and his own to the man for their daily water ration and he filled it without objection.  It was very nearly the only thing that had gone right today. 

He returned to Killian's side before he reached 90 and Killian gave him a relieved smile.  Liam helped him sit up and Liam cut a strip from one of the cleaner sheets to serve as a bandage.  Liam tied it overtop of his now scarlet tunic,  still too afraid to risk moving it yet.  He pulled out Killian's flask and offered it to him.  "Slowly,"  he warned.  They were not becalmed and water rations were reasonable at the moment but they didn't have enough to risk Killian being sick even with Liam’s own flask full as well. Killian sipped at the flask and Liam helped him lay down again with a grimace, tucking the sheets in around Killian tightly.  His motions were quick and efficient and he barely realized how little he'd spoken to Killian since this all started until Killian's small voice jerked him out of his head.  

"Are you angry with me, Liam?"

"No." Liam replied instantly, without thinking, and then he glanced sideways at Killian. Sod it.  "Yes.  Yes, I am you idiot you could have been killed."

"He was going to hurt you. You'd have done it for me."

"That's different," Liam snapped, not bothering to explain.  "Promise me you'll never do that again."  

Killian shook his head and Liam stared bewildered.  

"I mean it Killian,  promise" Pirate-Owl: I feel like sobbing emojis are redundant... and yet...

Gusenitsaa: 

Killian shook his head again and Liam cursed his stupid stubborn git-of-a-brother who was so determined to drive him mad.  He was ten.  Ten years old and already more stubborn than a mule.  He was just a kid,  and yet somehow inexplicably felt it was a reasonable thing to refuse to promise not to step in front of a knife again.

Liam wanted to shake him.  To order him, to beg him to make that promise but he could see the futility of it in Killian's eyes.  He sighed instead.  Killian was still trembling and Liam shifted,  helping Killian to move  a bit towards the wall so he could lay along the edge of the cot, between Killian and the rest of the crew's quarters.

Between Killian and the world.

[rxdonmyledger]

Party night.

Author’s Note: So, as many of you, I died watching Seb’s suit in the Globen Globes so I had to write this. I hope you like it! Enjoy!

Warnings: Language, Dom!Seb, orgasm denial, slight slapping.

I tag @4theluvofall because she asked me to ;) 

Words: 2,418.

“Now, smile guys!”

Sebastian lifted his glass and smiled as one of the assistants took the video for Instagram. The team that worked for Hugo Boss and helped him to get dressed surrounded him. They were all holding champagne glasses as his own.

“We’ll be leaving in ten minutes,” His personal assistant said as the people that filled the room disappeared. He sighed and looked at himself in the mirror, touching the smooth velvet. He knew you would love it.

You.

Sebastian closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying to get an image of what in hell you would be wearing. You had been secretive about it, giving him smirks and winks without saying a single word. Damn, even in that moment he couldn’t hate you.

His assistant came to warn him and he walked to the waiting limo, getting inside and taking his phone out of his inner pocket, sending you a message. He smiled when you wrote that you were on your way too. He cleared his throat, noticing he was as nervous as if he were a teenager again. You had that effect on him.

You had changed his life. He always said that. His world stumbled when he met you and Sebastian couldn’t get his eyes off you, knowing he would do everything to get a date. And he did. His charm and sweetness, the laughs and the moments you lived together made you fall in love with him.

You were in a different limo, not wanting to be associated with him. You didn’t belong to the show business. You had a normal life, with a normal job. You just happened to be the date of a famous director that had been nominated to a Golden Globe.  She had been your friend for ages and you couldn’t be more proud of her. It was such a huge accomplishment, especially after you discovered what Hollywood was really like.

She had been the one introducing Sebastian to you. It was the premiere of one of her films. An indie movie that had had a great success in Sundance two years ago. Sebastian worked there and your friend decided it was a great idea. And she was right. Two years later, you had an incredible relationship with that man.

“Ready?” you muttered to your friend, smiling at her. You took her hand and squeezed it, following the assistant behind the red carpet, where the paparazzi where screaming the names of the stars. Anna, your friend, followed one of the organisers and smiled at the camera before leaving.

Then, your eyes caught a black suit and a pair of blue eyes that you could recognise everywhere. He was astonishing. Breath-taking. You swallowed hard and felt your body burning at the sight of Sebastian smiling. You were about to turn to follow Anna when he noticed you were there.

Damn it.

You were wearing a black dress with a deep neckline and your back almost uncovered. The make-up was in purple with eyeliner and nude lips. You had a purse on your hand and a black ring in one of your fingers. Once you noticed he was looking at you, not being able to take his eyes off your figure, you winked, smirking at his reaction before leaving.

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably and tugged at the bowtie, wishing he could leave with you and get to the hotel to make you never leave his bed. He smiled politely and walked off the red carpet, following his assistant.

He kept looking for you during the time before the ceremony, noticing you were with Anna all the times. Sometimes he saw you speaking with Jessica Chastain or another actor and he would swallow his drink.

Your seat had been assigned on Anna’s table, a few ones far from Sebastian’s. He kept looking at you, your eyes in his line of sight. You’d smirk at him, sending messages to his phone only to leave him all flustered and horny.

Damn it.

I have to give that damn award. Stop it.

[You] Make me.

Doll…

He had raised his eyes from his phone, observing your amusing smile before you turned to your neighbour to chitchat with her. Anna was still trembling because of the nerves.

You better prepare yourself for when we go to the hotel, doll.

I’m angry with you now.

[You] I’m terrified.

He left the room to prepare himself to get on stage with Allison and you smiled proudly when you saw how far your boy was getting. He had been working so hard for it and he deserved it.

When Anna won the award, you couldn’t stop yourself from crushing between your arms, kissing her forehead while noticing your eyes getting teary. Your girl had made it. She had got the recognition she deserved.

Finally.

“Can we go?” A husky voice in your ear made you smile and you turned, watching as Sebastian smiled back politely at Hugh Jackman, who had been chatting with you.

“If you excuse me” you muttered, walking towards the other side of the room. It didn’t take look for Sebastian to follow you, watching as your hips swayed in that tight dress. Damn. You were going to kill him.

“Doll” he whined, touching the lower part of your back, leaning against you to press his forehead against yours. You smiled, knowing you had him wrapped around your finger.

“You should stay. It’s a good way to meet people. Besides, it’s not that important” you replied with a mocking tone, faking surprise before whispering against his ear. “Oops, I forgot to tell you that I’m completely naked under the dress”

You smirked at him, watching as his eyes turned dark and you blew a kiss before walking away, swaying your hips. You knew he would be following you and got inside the bathroom, making sure nobody was in.

The door opened and closed and you heard the latch as Sebastian locked the door, his hands on his hips as his breathing was heavy and his neck was completely red. He was looking at you in the mirror, following your movements as you touched your lips as if you were making sure your lipstick was perfect.

“Did you have fun, kitten?” The nickname made you shiver, knowing you were in trouble. You placed your hands on the washbasin, staring at his reflection. His jaw was tense and his blue eyes had disappeared. You smirked and nodded; perfectly aware that would only enrage him more. “Why?”

“Because I have enough power to make you horny and bothered during the whole evening” you replied nonchalantly, ready to leave. Sebastian strutted towards you and pressed your body against the surface, his hands on both sides, encaging you.

“You know perfectly what happens when you do that”

“So what?” You answered, smiling at him. You pulled him from his bowtie, causing him to stumble. You licked your lips and his eyes followed the movement, his throat moving as he swallowed hard. “Are you going to punish me, Stan?”

He growled and turned you, his torso pressed against the hot skin of your back. You whined when one arm kept your arms against your waist and the other grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him on the mirror.

“I hate when you use my surname like that, kitten. I thought I had showed your some manners” You squirmed and Sebastian held you in place, smirking as he nipped at your earlobe, growling in your ear. His sounds were like heaven and you felt your body burning with desire. “I should teach you right now a lesson”

“Really?” you gasped, smiling while he touched your earlobe with his tongue, causing you to shiver. “Here? You won’t be able to make me scream”

Sebastian looked at you right in the eye and you smiled wider as you noticed he had realised you were right. He growled in frustration and bit your shoulder carefully, rubbing his bulge against your ass.

“Meet me in the limo. We are leaving”

“No” Sebastian stopped in his tracks, with the hand on the handle and raised his eyebrow. “I’m leaving. You stay”

You opened the door and hurried to find Anna, knowing she would be as willing to leave as you were. You looked over your shoulder only to find Sebastian following you and you ran, giggling with your friend running by your side. Once you were safe inside the limo you told her a little bit of what was happening and she roared in laughter.

“Seems like somebody won’t be able to walk tomorrow” she said with a wink.

The rest of the trip was made in silent and you took off your heels, groaning in pain. Anna and you went upstairs once you got to the hotel, saying goodbye to each other. You opened the door and tossed the shoes on the floor, sitting at the end of the bed, waiting patiently.

Ten minutes later, the door opened and closed with a slam. Sebastian entered the room and looked at you. He was angry and you knew it, your body tingling in anticipation. He took a deep breath and spoke, his voice a mere whisper.

“Strip. Now”

“As you wish” you retorted, sticking out your tongue, standing up. Your hands went to the zipper and you pulled it, revealing more skin as it went down. Sebastian licked his lips and you almost moaned at the sight of his length pushing against the restricting cloth of his pants.

You placed the dress on its hanger, standing in the middle of the room there, naked. Sebastian hissed and pulled his bowtie to swallow before he took it off, placing it around your neck. You smiled and he swore his heart had melted at the sight.

“You are not getting away with that sweet smile of yours” he replied, walking towards you until you fell on the bed, his hands grabbing your legs and turning you, facing down.

You could hear his heavy breathing as his fingertips rubbed your back and you shivered. His chuckled filled your ears before his hand caressed the apex of your ass cheeks. His fingers went lower and you whimpered when your boyfriend touched your soaked core. He growled and lay by your side, watching as you trembled with your face hidden in your arms.

“God, Y/N…” he bit his lip and rubbed your clit in a tortuous pace that made your legs to shake. You moaned and he pressed a kiss on your bare shoulder, increasing the pressure.

The room filled with noises as he kept building up your orgasm, his thumb rubbing your bundle of nerves as he put a finger inside you. You moaned his name as you squirmed, feeling the familiar knot inside your stomach tightening. Just when you were about to reach your orgasm, he stopped.

“Fuck you!” you roared in rage, looking at him. Sebastian tugged at the bowtie, pulling you so he could kiss you. His tongue and teeth were all over your mouth and you moaned, his fingers pinching your nipple and playing with your breast.

“If you ask me nicely I might let you come” He whispered with a husky voice, making you to lie on your back as he licked and toyed with your breasts. Your hands went to his hair, tugging at it and he groaned, slapping your thigh. “Kitten”

“Fuck you” He chuckled and left the bed, getting on his knees and dragging you to the end of the bed by your ankles, spreading them for him. Sebastian moaned at the sight and pressed a hand on your waist before his tongue was on your clit, making you to scream. “Seb…”

“Beg, doll. You know you only have to do that”

Your body shook once more as he kept licking and sucking while he had two fingers inside you, curving them until he found your g-spot. Your hands tugged at his hair, pressing his face against your core. Your body shivered and you opened your mouth, gasping for air.

“Please…please…don’t stop now. Please, Sebastian” He chuckled and that sent you near the edge, his tongue flicking against your clit. Sebastian growled and your back arched when pleasure hit you, going over your body. He cleaned you and got up, taking his blazer off.

“It’s a relief you didn’t ruin the suit, doll. That would have led to another punishment”

You whimpered as you saw your boyfriend striping from his clothes, hanging them neatly from the hangers before he stroke himself, watching at your wrecked body. Your chest was moving heavily with each breath and you were staring at him with that look that drove him mad.

“Come here” he ordered, tugging you from the bowtie as he sat down, leaning against the headboard before hugging you. He gripped your waist as you moved above his length, rubbing it with your wet core. You both groaned when he helped you take him, your mouth opening at the feeling. “God, doll. You feel so good”

“Seb” you whispered, your forehead against his. He moaned and bit your neck while his left hand grabbed your ass. You tilted your neck to give him more access and you screamed in pleasure when he hit that spot of yours. You rolled your hips and dug your nails on his skin.

“You like it?” you nodded frantically, biting your lip and burying your face in his neck. Sebastian moaned again and you swore that sound alone could make you come. His right hand went between your bodies, rubbing your clit in circles. You shuddered and he kept murmuring things in your ear.

“Oh god” you moaned, feeling the pleasure going over your body, Seb’s release coming after yours. You two kept still, hugging each other, your breaths touching your faces. You moved and he went to the bathroom, taking a cloth to clean yourselves.

He pressed you against his chest, kissing your forehead and smiling at you, playing with the bowtie.

“You should wear that more often” he said, earning a snort from you. You hit his arm and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“I should say the same about the suit”

“Hey! That’s not fair. You see me wearing suits often!” You rolled your eyes and covered your bodies with the duvet, noticing your eyelids falling. Sebastian kissed your cheek and caressed your hair, smiling at the image of you sleeping. Soon, he followed you and fell asleep.

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Ready Player One --aka-- Just Watch Wrinkle in Time Instead...

I don’t usually hate movies. 

I know that seems backwards considering that this blog is me complaining and ranting incoherently about movies I don’t like, but very few movies leave me seething. Even all of the Detective Conan movies, which are mostly terrible pieces of garbage, I don’t necessarily hate. Red Crimson Letters is a terrible waste of time and energy, but I wasn’t insulted or felt talked down to. It was just a really bad movie I wanted to talk about.

In my life, there have only been three movies who have truly enraged me. “Batman v Superman,” “Joy,” and “War for the Planet of the Apes.” 

Objectively, there are aspects that are genuinely good in all of them and are definitely better than I probably give them credit for...but I doubt it, but they just flare up an anger in me for one reason or another. They’re permanently on my “fuck that movie” list. And now…now there’s another entrant to that prestigious list.

Ready Player One.

My GOD. THIS was the book everyone’s been talking about? THIS is supposed to be the fucking bible of pop culture?! THIS MOVIE?! THE ONE THAT UNIRONICALLY HAS THE PHRASE SPOKEN BY HUMAN VOCAL CHORDS “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER?!!” ARE YOU GUYS--…ok. Ok, I need to calm down. 

There are several, several, SEVERAL parts about this movie that don’t work, and I could go into a lot of the problems, but instead I’m going to try to talk about three aspects of the film. And for the sake of me not swearing up and down, we’re not going to talk about that godawful dialogue. Just know that it sucks.)

1) The ham-fisted arc

2) The protagonist and his trophy waifu

3) References over content

There are spoilers ahead, and I’m going to write this with the assumption that you’ve already seen the movie. If you haven’t, you’ve been warned. Anywho, let’s get started. Put on some “a-ha,” break your nostalgia goggles and join me as we go down this road where I collectively shit over Spielberg’s attempt to adapt a supposed “beloved classic.” (CAN YOU TELL I’M MAD?!)

1)     The arc

Here’s the thing with arcs in narratives, and more specifically films. 

They need to feel earned. 

Your central character has gone through a life-altering change or point of view since the beginning of the film due to the adventures and trials had throughout the film. Good examples include “Mad Max: Fury Road” where Max finally lets others into his life and sees the value in not going through life alone as described by the part where he donates his own blood and tells Furiosa his name. Another good example is actually from the Oscar nominee Spielberg had LITERALLY LAST YEAR, “The Post.” In it, Kay Graham finally put her foot down and shows authority by stepping out of her comfort zone to release the Pentagon Papers—damn what the powers that be say. This is important to any narrative because it shows the flaws of your characters through their insecurities and hesitations to make them human rather than movie characters. Even if you have paragon characters like Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman, they still have to overcome some kind of personal issue that is keeping them from achieving what they’ve wanted.

Now, if you look over to the main character, you can see that his arc was…what is it that was his arc? 

He’s…he’s the same at the beginning as he was at the end. 

“OH BUT HE HAS A PENTHOUSE AT THE END,” yeah that’s not a change. One could argue that the (even though the catalyst for change has no fucking relation to it) arc is about unplugging and enjoying the real world. The bits at the end with Easter Egg man where he starts going on and on and on about how he missed reality or something, and the VERY BRIEF bits at the beginning where you see people all over the VR systems, one of which is the mother neglecting a fire in the house and one where an Asian man almost commits suicide after losing all of his stuff in the game (it’s played for comedy, so THAT’S also pretty fun, because it’s not like Japanese suicide rates are a serious issue or anything OH WAIT.) So it’s about being close to reality and unplugging. Ok. Coolio.

But here’s the thing, similar to “War for the Planet of the Apes”…YOU HAVEN’T EARNED IT. There are brief moments where it kind of alludes to it (see the middle challenge with ‘oh yes, I should have kissed the girl during the Shining’ and the small bit at the middle where the main two are sitting there and the main dude has ONE HALF-ASSED LINE about how “it’s nice here. It’s slower,”) but that’s IT. It doesn’t actually give you a reason to think that staying in the Oasis and avoiding reality is a BAD thing. Sure you have abusive father obsessed with getting high scores but he’s just one dimensional asshole dad who dies and you don’t give a shit about it one second later after his parental figures are killed. 

There are no real CONSEQUENCES to spending too much time in the Oasis, it’s just because he’s good at the game. And if there are, they sure as hell aren’t focused on in favor of mindless spectacle (which looks REALLY BAD by the way. I know it’s supposed to look fake because video game, but do the main characters have to use the ugliest models in existence?!) As such, the ending and central arc of learning is lost.

So what’s the arc? Well…there is none. Nothing is really learned, nothing is really gained that MATTERS aside from the keys to Willy Wonka’s goddamn chocolate factory. 

Z or Perzival or Wade or generic-white-gamer-boy learns all of fucking NOTHING by the end. (As such, it makes the ending where he says “EVERYONE HAS TO BE OFF ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS” come off as BULLshit.)

But no, this is clearly the Spielberg classic. It’s not like Indiana Jones learned anything in the Last Crusade as a character only he totally fucking DID, HE LEARNED TO RESPECT AND LOVE HIS FATHER WHO HE PREVIOUSLY DESPISED AND THE IMPORTANCE OF—sorry. Sorry I’m getting a bit mad again.

Anywho, due to a lack of a real arc, it makes you think that the entire fucking plot was pointless. It was just inevitable that the good guy win because…well he’s the main character. He doesn’t say anything about anything but is instead dumb fluff, which would be fine…but here’s the thing. It also affects the main characters. And it affects them HARD.

2)     Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass

The two main characters have no personality or character due to this lack of an arc.

The main man, Wade, his personality is…what exactly? He’s just generic hero-boy who is obsessed with the 80s. “He’s like a regular Star-Lord!” I hear you say, only he totally fucking isn’t. Starlord has baggage, has character has points and instances that stretch BEYOND just quoting 80’s movie and saying the actual phrase that a screenwriter actually wrote down and didn’t immediately delete that went “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER” NO I AM NOT OVER IT.

...Point is, the references don’t make Star-Lord who he is, it’s the character of Peter Quill himself. Cocky, brash, and in many ways, a child running from his past. 

As for Wade, he’s got nothing. I’ve looked over this sometimes, depending on the writing or the situation, so maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much, but the actor who plays him isn’t doing a good job. I know I don’t talk about acting a lot, but the man…the man is just whining through his lines. He comes off as insufferable with his needless 80’s knowledge that I was genuinely rooting for the one-dimensional villain to kill that fucking brat.

Then we have Artemis or Samantha or Sam or its-the-pixie-cut-rebel-chick.  

There are several scenes that are etched into my brain now (including a FUCKING NUT-SHOT AND A PASSWORD FOR A HUMAN ADULT THAT IS “B055MAN69.” IN A SPIELBERG MOVIE. THE MAN WHO MADE INDIANA JONES AND SCHINDLER’S LIST.), but one of the big ones is the final image of the film in which the main character in his 80’s man-boy cave spins around with his beautiful woman sitting in his lap as they suck face as the line “reality is pretty awesome anyway” or something like that. Aside from the main character not earning that statement as previously stated…fucking let’s look at it for what it is.

The man just won a real-life walking-talking waifu. A trophy wife that he wins at the end of the game.

She’s what probably made me see through the movie the most honestly. She makes this big fucking deal about “oh, but I’m not who you think I am on the outside, I’m not pretty” and then when you go outside to the real world, of course she’s the fucking gorgeous Hollywood white girl—she just has a goddamn birthmark on her eye to be her “blemish.”

“Oh but she’s insecure about it,” I hear you say--I’m sorry, but you mean to tell me NOBODY told her she’s fine and beautiful with the eye-mark BEFORE Wade? You mean to tell me she’s insecure, but not insecure enough to feel the need to buy fucking MAKE-UP!? I’m not saying that she needs it, I’m saying that the character’s central flaw is the WEAKEST FUCKIN FLAW I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU WANNA CHANGE THE GAME, QUASIMODO THAT SHIT. 

THEN, and this part was just fucking HILARIOUS to me, she mentions about how the ioi company fucking KILLED HER FATHER in a workshop and she has to stop him for revenge…and then it’s totally dropped. Like it’s never mentioned by the end. At all. She chucks a grenade into Mechagodzilla to kill the bossman but fuck me if it ain’t satisfying and adds physically NOTHING to her character.

Her character exists for one purpose. She is the love interest who sets the main character off on his journey. Nothing more. And I say that, because SHE’S THE CATALYST FOR HIM FINDING THE FIRST KEY. She tells him something that reminds him of something that solves the puzzle. And what’s more, I am willing to bet that THAT’S the reason they kept her Hollywood pretty. Because you need to have an attractive romantic love interest to keep the audience pleased. 

Now apparently, she does more in the movie than she does in the book. And that’s great. That’s super. She’s the one breaking in to destroy the d20 of doom. Hell yeah I guess. But I also don’t care. You wanna know why? BECAUSE I AM NOT READING THE BOOK. Superficial changes that improve certain aspects doesn’t make the movie better than it is. It’s like polishing a fucking turd. Yeah, it’s nicer than what you had, but you are still making me hold this piece of dogshit.

They don’t have characters. They don’t have chemistry BECAUSE they don’t have characters. It’s a fucking wash.

3) Drowning in References

But now we talk about the big one. The big fucking thing that everyone and their mother is obsessing about this movie over. And the thing that has gotten me from not liking this movie to fucking DESPISING it.

The references.

To quote from people who will be seeing the movie in the theater *ahem*...

“OHMYGOD IS THAT TRACER?! OH AND IT’S HARLEY AND THE JOKER! OH! OH! OH! IRON GIANT! HALO! BORDERLANDS! BACK TO THE FUTURE! BATMAN—FUCKING IT’S THE BATMAN! THEY MENTIONED THRILLER! THAT’S PRINCE! STREET FIGHTER! MECHA-GODZILLA FIGHTING GUNDAM! MINECRAFT! NINJA TURTLES! FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH! STAR TREK! FIREFLY! THE SHINING! IT’S FUCKING CHUCKY!!!”

…Ok? So what?

Not to be a snob, but seriously—so what? Why does it matter?

Listen, I like crossovers too. I remember the Avengers and what a big goddamn deal it was, and how it made everyone’s jaw drop to the ground, and how in some ways, it still does. But whereas with those it felt organic, Ready Player One with its ninety thousand references felt…empty.

I’m going to bring out two comparisons to the table that do the same thing that Ready Player One did, “Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?” and “Wreck-It Ralph.” Both had pop-culture icons throughout them. One had all of the classic cartoons all spliced together—where you saw Daffy Duck and Donald Duck in the same shot having a dual piano-off. One of them had all of these video game characters that you loved and embraced since you were a kid, running around and hanging out ala “Toy Story.” These big names are all in the background, just like Ready Player One, but they’re clearly different in terms of execution. Why is that?

Well it’s because the movies weren’t reliant on them. Sure, Rodger Rabbit had fun moments with these big names, but if you took them out and animated totally new characters with similar personalities, what would you lose? Nothing. The plot is the same, the dynamics are the same, and it can still be seen as a salute to the classic animations from back in the day to also an allegory for the Jim Crowe era just as the book intentionally was. Same goes for Wreck-it Ralph, the character goes through a fundamental change that has him accepting who he is and how “there’s nobody else I’d rather be, than me” ALL THE WHILE paying respects to classic arcade video games.

The same can’t be said for Ready Player One. The instant you take away the pop-culture references, the movie loses its protective suit of armor to reveal it’s about…nothing. 

It is. 

Nothing. 

The generic quest, the generic corporate baddie, the generic love interest, the main character has nothing to say, and the conflict is revealed to be flat—nothing about it sticks out or makes an impression.

And if you fail to make an impression without a fucking suit pop-culture references then, well, if I may use a pop-culture quote myself...“If you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

Plain and simple.

But then…there’s the one thing I can’t really debate. 

“It’s just fun though, right?”

Yeah sure. I’ll admit around that third act, even though it was long overdrawn, I had fun watching the violence and references I understood while they blasted “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in the background.

But y’know what? It was just about as enjoyable as seeing someone adapt a piece of shitty fanfiction, because both have one thing in common for everything that they do: It’s just there for fan service. If you make the statement “well the Oasis is cool,” then you’ve clearly missed the point because you don’t like the movie, you like it’s gimmick. And it’s gimmick exists—it’s called VR Chat.

Meanwhile, screenwriters of different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders and religions from everywhere across the world are actually putting EFFORT into their screenwriting and directing. And while their action scenes for their blockbuster idea may not be perfect, they at least tried and did something new with it.

I went to see “Wrinkle in Time” today after I’d seen Ready Player One yesterday, needing to see literally anything good. And yeah, it’s not perfect. It’s got some stilted dialogue and some questionable acting on nearly all fronts at points and the conflict can be about as cliched as you can imagine, but the visuals, the costume design—you could tell everyone cared and put a goddamn effort into everything put forth. It’s much more gorgeous than the downright UGLY CG that was in the Oasis world in Ready Player One, and I guarantee you nobody had the phrase “B055MAN69” anywhere. It didn’t pander to kids or guys who wanted to feel validated for knowing a couple references. It wanted to tell the story of fighting back evil and hatred by embracing love. It’s cheesy and sappy…but fuck me, if it didn’t try to say something while having fun.

But fuck that movie right? We have Iron Giant fighting Mechagodzilla. 

If you have that, then why bother putting in effort?

That’s what kills me. It’s lazy and people praise it because it just stuck pop-culture words in a fucking blender. Don’t call it innovative. Don’t call it original. Don’t call it anything than what it is.

80’s. Prepubescent. Fucking. Fanfiction.

You can love it and enjoy it if you want, I mean I don’t like not liking movies. It sucks. And in some aspects, I can see why you can if you turn your brain off but…I’m not gonna lie, to see this get away with murder insults me.

Listen, I love Spielberg. There is nobody I respect more in the business. His work in AI, and the reason why he did so to keep a dying friend’s vision alive will always keep him as one of my personal heroes but…sometimes you gotta call people out when they make shit. And I am.

I don’t care what anyone says, don’t see Ready Player One. Watch something worthwhile. Go to Netflix and watch “Stranger Things” if you’ve got that need for an 80′s kick, or hell--”Blade Runner 2049″ is a visual goddamn MARVEL. Go see “The Post” or “Jaws” if you want some good Spielberg. Just PLEASE! Go see something that isn’t just a bunch of references that almost feel as though it’s a remake of “ctrl+alt+del.” 

(Random aside, people have told me to read the original book...but if that fucking thing is ANYTHING like this movie, I’d rather BURN IT than let it get one inch into my house. So no, I’m not going to read the book even if there are claims that it’s “better.” (Even though I believe that it’s impossible to say a book is better than it’s adaptation or vice versa because it’s two different mediums and as such it’s hardly fair, but that’s a whole other thing.) Point is, I’ve never been more turned off to a book in my godddamned life and I ain’t gonna bother.)

[astroellipse]

take a wild guess what’s below that keep reading line

the stuff i’ve played through today has hit me so hard man... I am fully invested at this point. This whole deal with a mysterious voice talking about how the balance of light and dark are being tipped and throwing open the gates especially... that scene where it was first introduced and the WoL was being thrown in and out of their body was something else. I’ve been waiting for WoL to get another chance to be their own character but... man. I know she’s gonna come back but Alisaie being called broke my heart!! It is 6 am and i was about to start yelling oh my god. The story has done its job in the past few bits of endearing Alisaie to me... i mean part of me was /waiting/ for it to happen but not then.

I’d planned on writing earlier in the night, when “Solus” was introduced. I was laughing so hard at that introductory scene like. THAT is the current premier FFXIV sexy man?????? I’ve even heard the excuse that it’s his voice or personality that people like and while they’re really good on their own it’s not in like. an attractive way this dude is just incredibly annoying lmao. I just don’t get it. Especially in the intro when the emperor just shoots him point blank from the hip and he slides down the stairs with a stupid expression on his face. just. how does the story want me to view this character????? is he gonna get more serious later on???

That entire stretch of story was just one gut punch after the next, I felt like I only fully understood what was going on like half of the time. Elidibus piloting Zenos is something I should have seen coming. I expressed anger at this turn of events before and while I do still prefer they’d gone in some other direction... I’m glad I get to hear his voice actor again, even if he’s speaking different from how Zenos really did.

I. had no idea that the shadowhunter dude was gaius?? Why did they decide to bring him back as well. Why can’t garleans stay dead? Garlean men specifically I think the only confirmed death of a garlean at the WoL’s hands is that uh... Livia van Julius or whatever her name was I can’t remember.

Actually forget that I just remembered the scene where it was revealed that Zenos is now in some Elezen body and was shown flying off in that stupid little air craft. THAT was why I was still angry. I rescind what I said earlier that’s still dumb as hell. This is all becoming really ridiculous which has its ups and downs.

Oh. That last fight on the front lines was really funny too. I think that was the first time I was paired with another summoner for 4-man content and I like to think that the one commendation I got was from them, as I gave them mine. I don’t have any real way to measure it but they seemed to do a bit more personal damage in trash mob phases, and were better at making full use of trances... though I was more consistent with DoTs, and did better with trances in the boss fights since I’d actually read about them ahead of time and knew to wait for intermissions. We ended up getting to pop Bahamut right at the end during that last burn/enrage phase which was a really nice conclusion to the imaginary competition I had going in my head. By the end of it, we both had even gotten the chance to revive our WHM :)

Anyhow. I am very near to completing the post-stormblood stuff, I just needed to come down from Alisaie being taken from me >:(

[hopevalley]

Is Jack really going to die??? Really??? The rumour mill is working overtime and I don’t know what to believe! I am worried for the fate of the show. Love your blog and detailed analysis of the episodes and show itself. My fav post is the one about the miner’s dance in season 1!!

Thank you! I’m hoping to get back to S1 after S5 wraps up so that I can talk more about the earlier parts of the show, especially the episodes and characters people originally fell in love with. Maybe I’ll even attempt detailed posts for each of the earlier episodes (though perhaps not quite as detailed as, you know, the current ones). I’m glad you enjoyed that post; it was fun to put together.

As far as Jack’s fate goes, I’ve mentioned it before, but for clarity’s sake, here’s my opinion of the situation, starting with the position the showrunners and writers have found themselves in. (I don’t think we can pretend these are the same people; writers are given parameters to work within and the showrunners, a catch-all term for the people who make The Decisions, are the ones who more or less set those parameters.)

If we assume Dan would like to end his time with When Calls the Heart, and in fact, Hallmark in general, the showrunners are given a few options. Here are the basic outlines for what those are:

They beg Dan to return for a cameo episode for each season/for the special each season and limit Jack’s role to just those episodes/films.

They end the series.

They write Jack and Elizabeth off the show.

They recast for the role of Jack Thornton.

They write Jack off the show.

To talk about these a bit further, let’s get into details.

1.) They beg Dan to return for cameos. They’re kind of already doing this, and it’s not working. Imagine if he had just one episode or a few scenes in the Christmas special per season! Yikes. Jack’s role is too big and too important in the series (as part of the main couple) to reduce him to a guest star. It forces his relationship with Elizabeth to stalemate and get dull. Too, if Dan wants off the show, he probably isn’t willing to tie himself down by any definition, which would include filming even for cameos. So even though this is an option for us to consider, it may not actually be in the cards for the showrunners’ consideration.

2.) They end the series.  A solid option, but clearly not one the showrunners want to take right now. They have an active fanbase for the show; the fans are dedicated; it’s making money… And hey, theoretically, anyway, they have tons of characters; it feels silly to end the show because just one character needs to be removed.

3.) They write Jack and Elizabeth off the show. WAIT. HEAR ME OUT! This would be the smoothest route because they could still appear for cameo scenes or films if the actors were up for it. It would also allow for a happy ending for Jack and Elizabeth. The best part is that they could easily write it in as Jack gets a more permanent posting further north and Elizabeth, who is now his wife of course, has to go with him. Well, that’s what being married to a Mountie is usually like! The problem is that this, you know, takes away Elizabeth, too, and I doubt Erin wants her role reduced that drastically. There’s also a middle ground, here, I think, where Jack is reassigned and Elizabeth “finishes up the school year” or “stays on in Hope Valley until a new teacher is found” or something like that, to buy time to go through another season. Jack is gone, yes, but that leaves room for letters and other correspondences, which could be lovely for the fans. It would give Elizabeth fun things to talk about with Abigail, too. And time to say her goodbyes. Also, after she leaves to be with Jack (maybe on a prettier parcel of land in another great community that her time in Coal/Hope Valley has prepared her for), she can still send correspondences and/or appear for scenes/come back to Hope Valley to visit. Abigail sharing Elizabeth’s letters with others in town (or Rosemary doing this) would be pretty sweet. I mean, it would suck without Erin on the show much, but I think it would be a very kind end to the ship and characters. We can at least imagine they’re living their best life and having a good time.

4.) They recast for the role of Jack. Now, this one’s a risk. On the plus side, it lets the relationship pick up where it left off and lets it move forward at full speed. No more stalling, no more boring blahs. Just Jack and Elizabeth doing their best to make a life together out in Hope Valley. No, it’s not Dan, and for most people Jack will always be Dan, but…let’s be real: isn’t it better than losing Jack entirely? I think so. That said, there are two downsides to this: the first is that the fans might not take too kindly to a recast of their darling, and the second is that Jack Wagner, who actually seems to enjoy his time on the show, yet, wouldn’t have much of a role as Bill if the character of Jack stuck around and, you know, took his job back. Neither would deter me from making the call to recast, but they are worth considering.

5.) They write Jack off the show. This is the easiest route by far. The actor wants off? Let’s take the character off, too. It’s not like it’s new on this series. We’ve had characters disappear without an explanation or mention (Cat, Gabe) and a few others weakly written off (Rev. Anderson, Shane, Frank). It’s an easy option to get rid of a character the showrunners don’t want to deal with anymore, or to dispose of a character when the actor decides to call it quits with the series. The problem is that they can’t be cheap with Jack’s write-off. He can’t just disappear, and the reason the character leaves for good has to make a lot of sense to avoid upsetting the fans. Since a break-up would enrage them, the only option left is to kill him.

Look, Jack’s been written poorly for a while now. It’s unfortunate, but it also makes me doubt they’d do any better with, you know, a recast of Jack. Besides, the fans probably wouldn’t take to a new person playing their favorite. It makes sense that they’d veto that idea first. The next-best idea is to write Jack and Elizabeth off together, but it has to happen reasonably (she needs to go at the end of S6), and I doubt Hallmark wants to write off two of their three main characters; they’d be lucky if they had a show left at that point. I also doubt their ability to write plots that don’t somehow center on the main characters; so far they’ve proven they’re in it for the cheese and drama and no real character development. I mean, for goodness’ sakes, Bill is bitten by a rattlesnake and almost dies and he’s supposed to have come to trust AJ’s motivations as being genuine, and yet we know he won’t mention her again for the rest of the season, and we’ll be lucky to see her in the first half of S6. To think after her sentence, which is to be less than Gowen’s, at least as far as Bill knows, she might return to Hope Valley to start her life over (as per her own wishes) is almost impossible for me to imagine happening—not because the character wouldn’t do it, but because the writers won’t. Or, you know, maybe Josie won’t. For another example: Carson the brain surgeon? Is that going to ever mean anything outside of the episode it’s featured in?

Again, losing Jack and Elizabeth limits them to Abigail as the lead character for S7+, and they’d rather not limit their options I guess.

With ending the series & begging for cameos from Dan out of the question, that really only leaves killing Jack.

Again, hey…I get it! I’m a writer and I know sometimes to make something work you have to do something kind of drastic. However, this is a betrayal of the trust of your audience, at least in terms of pacing.

I know what they were trying to do with the wedding. The fans don’t get to keep Jack, but at least they can give Jack and Elizabeth a lovely, beautiful, more or less perfect wedding. Heck, even her father shows up! And on the whole the fans were excited for the wedding and loved every bit of it.

My irritation doesn’t stem from what I feel are genuine attempts to do something good for the fans, to get them as close to something nice as they can manage, circumstances considered. Fine, get them married! And let it be OOC for half of the characters in the process. It’s not my problem.

But I’m not going to quietly ignore the fact that while they wrote in that stupid fire plot to force the town to “come together” (in an OOC way) to help Jack and Elizabeth achieve their dream wedding (that they could have had anyway if just they’d elected not to write that plot), they should have spent their time keeping the threshold scene. Or a longer father/daughter dance. Or a longer dance with Jack. We all know they had sex afterward, it’s not like showing them stepping over the threshold is going to give the audience the wrong idea. C’mon. Most people have sex on their wedding night.

And what about all of these previews, and silly ways of trying to force the audience to feel secure in believing in Jack’s safety? Have you ever trained 50 idiots who have never held a gun before? Or did much horseback riding? Let’s be real, it’s not that safe. Better than an all-out war, but my point still stands.

Listening to Elizabeth say, over and over, “Just a few weeks,” “I can’t wait to be in your arms again,” is patronizing and cruel, mostly because it feels a little more aimed at the audience than it does a natural part of her character.

Again, I’m not here for Jack or Elizabeth (I don’t relate to either of them at all), but this is ridiculous. The fans have a right to be upset, not because the showrunners felt pushed into a corner where they have to make a choice to either eliminate Elizabeth and Jack for a kind ending OR just eliminate Jack with a tragic one, but because it feels like the audience is being unfairly baited with these stupid in-show attempts to convince them that Jack’s Totally Fine (when all it makes me think is that he’s Dead Meat). I felt from the start of this season that it was very possible Jack would die. It didn’t come out of nowhere at all! Which makes the “He’s Totally Safe” lines uttered by various characters, especially out of context in previews, really aggravating.

Anyway, again, I’m also angry on behalf of those fans because the writers (or showrunners, whoever Made the Decision) wasted time putting roadblocks in Jack and Elizabeth’s way when we could have had a couple of small honeymoon scenes instead. I mean, honestly…just show them eating a dinner together talking about the day they had. The land dispute? Stupid. Skip straight past it or let it happen while they’re gone and send them to Chicago. Abigail could have dealt with the land dispute. And oh. HEY. SHE DID ANYWAY. It was a waste of time for the audience and the characters. The dancing in the cafe scene was sweet but I think most fans would have preferred to see them on their honeymoon having dinner or going to a play instead—a hint that they had the honeymoon they wanted. Then, before they came back, Bill could have spoken to the NWMP officer about Jack’s new placement/promotion. Bill being kind of excited for Jack would have been really nice, too, and a quiet kind of proof to the audience that this truly is an honor, not just Jack trying to reassure Elizabeth…or, you know, THE AUDIENCE under the guise of reassuring Elizabeth.

Even in this make-believe scenario I’ve constructed, it’s still sad that Jack gets sent away, especially in the event that he dies. But it would feel less sudden than our canon, which has him getting sent away the day after his wedding even though Bill took care of a full escort for him the day before and of his wedding! Two weeks after would make more sense. And then Elizabeth could have just stayed in Hope Valley. 

I typed all of this to say that I think it’s very likely Jack is going to die. Unfortunately the other options just…weren’t in the cards, perhaps due to the lack of time in which to figure something out (and the fact that they didn’t bring me on board to write the show). 

My giant ego aside, if Jack dies, he dies. There’s nothing that can be done about it, now. Be angry if you want to be, if you feel that way; I think anger is a valid emotion to be feeling right now, if not at the direction the story felt it needed to take, but at the bogus wastes of time plots we had to endure when we could have had something more reasonable.

In the end it boils down to: with Jack off the show, will you keep watching it? And I know for a lot of fans, the answer is no. Or…they’ll tentatively watch the S6 Christmas Special and see how it reads before they make up their mind fully. That’s very reasonable, I think.

And for the record, I’m also worried about the direction the show will take. If the Duncan + Greta storyline was anything to go by, it’ll be the Abigail & Elizabeth Show, where we watch their new club (“Minding YOUR Business”) debut at full capacity. I pray that’s not the case. I don’t think I’d enjoy watching anymore.

To add to my bummed-out feelings, the way they’ve written Abigail lately has been nearly intolerable, and I say that with a heavy heart; she was pretty much my favorite character in S1/2/3. She feels different now, and not in a lovely she-had-character-development sort of way.

Like so many other good characters, she’s just a flimsy plot vehicle. And sadly, the plots she’s used for aren’t even good. There is a lot to her they could utilize, but just the same as with others who are like that (Frank, Jesse, Clara, Laura, the kid characters), they ignore it in favor of doing whatever fits the plot.

As a writer, it’s kind of your job to construct plots that are built around your existing characters, but I guess that’s not something most writers understand.

At this point in the show, it’s very frustrating, and made worse now by the mere idea of Jack dying. Like great, now with the last of the old structure of the show gone, what are they going to do with their ragdoll characters next? 

I mean, maybe they’ll surprise me, but you’re not gonna catch me holding out hope for Hope Valley.

[skateurgency]

Netflix Death Note 2/10

I watched this POS. I watched all of it. I forced a friend to watch it with me because I couldn’t go through it alone.

I couldn’t go more than 5 minutes without pausing it to sCREAm at how poorly it captured the original. I dented my wall guys. I became so enraged seeing one of my favorite series brought this low. It destroyed its source material and left behind the worst adaptation yet of Death Note and just an all around poor quality film. If you haven’t seen Death Note and are afraid of spoiling the source material with this film, don’t worry! Maybe 7% is the same. Maybe. However, there will be spoilers below.

Oh Boy. It was hard to get through. There as just so much wrong with it. Light’s a little bitch. Ryuk is barely there. Misa, aka Mia, is one of the most unlikable charterers I have seen in a long time. Granted, I didn’t care much for Misa Misa in the manga, but Mia took it from indifference to strong dislike. Mr. Turner (Light’s dad in this version. I can’t recall a first name) is such an unlikable man. Also, a plot point is that Light’s mom is dead and he doesn’t have a sister so you know right there that the whole Mellow arc is basically scrapped.

Now I know that this was an “adaptation” of the manga, and an Americanized version. There may have been a few too many creative liberties used because almost nothing followed the source material. It seemed more like a bad high school drama than Death Note. Hell, an important scene takes place at a homecoming dance. Light Yagami (Turner) at a homecoming dance. Talking about the Death Note in BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT.

After watching the film I made a comment to my friend that you could have taken out Ryuk from the film and it wouldn’t have changed the plot one bit. Except we would have been spared the scene of Light shrieking in fear and cowering under a desk. If you’ve made a Death Note adaptation that could easily remove the shinigami and nothing would be different, you know that you messed up right there.

Speaking of Ryuk, he is an odd presence in the film. He is no longer bound to the owner of the death note, instead it seems like he comes and goes while he pleases. Also, now he can only be seen by the owner of the death note, not just anyone who touches it. Thus Misa (Mia) can never see or talk to him throughout the film, which leads to some odd exchanges. Unlike the manga Ryuk, this one never goes in to the boredom speech. Remember when Light asks what he did to receive such a great power and Ryuk tells him it was just dumb luck that he picked it up, Ryuk just dropped it because he was bored? Yeah, there was none of that. There isn’t the scene of Ryuk telling Light that if he uses the death note that he won’t go to heaven or hell, and that Ryuk will be the one to kill him in the end. I always liked that scene in the manga, it gave Light’s choices more weight.  Ryuk honestly... doesn’t do much at all. He eats some apples, that’s pretty neat. Ummm... he has a nice line at the very end of the film... I think that’s it, asides from Light screaming or threatening him a few times.

Which really bothered me. Like, REALLY bothered me. This movie screws up shinigami death, along with a lot of the rules of the death note. Light tells Ryuk he’ll write his name down in the death note, and Ryuk just tells him “the most anyone ever got was two letters.” You can’t kill a shinigami by just writing their name down. There’s only a handful of beings that know how to kill one, two of them being Ryuk and Rem, who isn’t in the film at all. Yes, a shinigami can die if thery forget to put names down, but a way to kill one is by having a shinigami extend the life of a human they care for when that human’s life was supposed to be up. Rem’s friend does this for Misa Misa and then brings her his death note per his request. Not like any of that comes up in this film. Misa (Mia) never gets a death note, never becomes the second kira, and never gets there eyes. Because oh yeah, something key like the shinigami eyes and this girl being so in love she quarters her life span for a guy doesn’t make it in to this film.

A few other rules are off though, such as the way ownership works. The film makes it no longer Ryuk’s death note and has a scene about how it will pass from human to human (I don’t remember the specifics and I’m not about to watch it again) after a certain amount of days. I also do not think the owner loses their memory. There’s also this odd clause that if you write a name down but later destroy the page before it happens the death will be cancelled. But you can only do this once. This becomes a major plot point for the film when it isn’t at all in the manga (that I recall. Feel free to correct me on this.) Also, you apparently don’t need the right names because Light fucking writes down Watari as fucking Watari AND IT WORKS. WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY?

This is getting very long winded because I have a lot of rage, so I’m going to break this down by issues I had with each character and how off they were from their manga counterparts.

L - I’ll start of positive. For the most part, I liked L. The actor was much better than his rival, and made L seem human. His performance was a highlight. My main issue with L was the weird limo scene with some odd neon shades and asking Watari to sing him to sleep. It also upset me that he showed his actual face in a press junket. They focused more on his candy than how brilliant L actually is. Both he and Light don’t seem to be anywhere near as intelligent as they should be. In the film there is scenes of L coping with the loss of a friend that wasn’t in the manga since L and Watari die at about the same time. It was actually nice to see and made L seem a little more warm and human.

Watari - Good actor, gave a good performance. Odd casting choice in my opinion? Watari was one of the few Japanese actors in the cast when he’s playing the only non Japanese character. Watari was an old English gentleman. His name is Quillish Whammy for fuck’s sake. The actor gave the roll a good go, unfortunately it was just written poorly and most of his scenes take place at what looks like an old horror movie set.

Ryuk - I already touched on Ryuk previously. The VA did a fine job, he actually looked pretty decent. Sadly, his lines are all pretty worthless and for the most part he just makes Light nearly piss himself when he shows up.

Mr. Yagami (Mr. Turner) - This man is such a fuck. I disliked him so much. I really respected Yagami in the manga. He made tough decisions and was ready to do what he must to catch Kira. In fact, he quits the police force in near disgrace to fight Kira. That scene where he asks L to confine him as well because his son is confined in suspicion of being Kira? That scene where he is prepared to shoot his son and then himself? His father trading for the eyes but never using the death note on Mellow because he still wants to redeem him? Yagami being a good, developed character? Yeah, none of that. Instead we got tense conversations between him and Light because they don’t like each other. We get him choking L out at a family dinner because L says Light is Kira and Yagami abandoning L to protect his son at all costs. He even finds out his son is for a fact Kira and does nothing. 

Misa Misa Amane (Mia) - Boy did I dislike Misa in this film. The first scene is her being a cheerleader but being too “over life” to do the cheers? God, she is such an unlikeable, uncharasmatic bitch in this film. That’s such a big change from bratty but cute and bubbly superstar model Misa Misa. The actress had very little charm in her delivery. A lot of her scenes were of her trying to convince Light to kill more. A lot of them. Most of her scenes in the later half of the movie. She seemed to be going for a Harley Quinn vibe, complete with a “normal people scare me” hung up in her locker. Misa steals pages from the death note (since she doesn’t have her own) and sneaks behind Light’s back to kill the FBI agents trailing them. She also writes Light’s name down in the death note, to try and gain ownership of it. It honestly seemed like Light and Misa’s personalities were switched from what they were in the manga. Maybe it was to try and make her a strong female character, but it fell flat. What I found was one of the major characteristics of manga Mia was that she loved Light. She would do anything for Light, such as trading for the eyes twice or giving up her death note and memories when Light asks her to. This Misa seems to care much less for Light and more about the death note and killing. It doesn’t make her endearing to the audience, I don’t know what they were trying to do with her.

Light Yagami (Light Turner) - Where to begin. The acting was quite weak. The boy can scream and cry and beg, that’s for sure. However, he’s playing Light. There should have been no need for any of that. If only. I think what upset me most was that this film didn’t make Light seem smart. He does people’s tests for them at school and... that’s it. That’s where you’re supposed to infer that he’s a brilliant top of his class, getting primed for great things. Film version Light isn’t liked at school where as manga Light isn’t super popular, but he has friends. He has girls ask him out a few times. There’s some dialogue between Ryuk and Light about how popular he is with the ladies. Whereas Film Light is pretty much alone except for deranged Misa. There’s also no secrecy about the death note. He fucking has it in his lap during gym class, just chilling there. Misa asks what it is and he shows her how to use it. Just like that. They talk about it and killing people constantly out in public or in classes. It’s so unrealistic. Light doesn’t try to hide anything. On his first time meeting L he confesses to being Kira, just like that. He confesses it to his dad later on as well. He has a few exchanges with Misa about how much he wants to give up the death note and run way together because he loves her. After all, there was a montage of them making out while writing down names, it’s true love. The climax of the movie has Light writing down “if Misa takes the note book from me she will die” and Light telling her “it’s the notebook or me.” She chooses the notebook and you see him sob “I never thought you would take it!! I thought you loved me!!” and it’s so very manga Misa Misa. Light acts like the worst parts of manga Misa. He’s always ready to just give up and cry under a desk. The only good thing he does in this film is kill Misa.

One of the brilliant things Death Notes does is it challenged the reader about what is truly good and evil. Reading it for the first time I remember siding with Light up until he makes the jump to killing anyone after him. Then I was with L and the SPK. But then L dies. The leader of the “good side” dies and Light has his iconic “I win” panel. The whole world turns to Kira in support, and the reader does once again. He won out, he must be the good force after all. Then Near and Mellow show up and once again the reader is unsure of who to support. Mellow uses such underhanded tactics and causes Mr. Yagami’s death so he can’t be good. Near was a little kid so by virtue he had to be good, although personally I dislike Near. L and Mellow grew on me, Near didn’t. At this point Kira can’t be attributed solely to Light as he has Mikami and Misa working for him, but Kira is the bad guy again to the reader. The reader is thrown back and forth with who they support as things develop, but the characters themselves still fully believe that they all are what is good. The side of justice. The SPK thinks that they are in the right by bringing Kira down. Kira thinks that he is right by serving out justice and acting as god. It makes the reader really, really question what they think about right and wrong.

This movie version stripped that away. I never got the feeling that Light believes he is actually doing the right thing. He constantly is questioning their actions and wanting to stop. The viewer never thinks Light is in the right for a second, the viewer never wants him to win. You never have to question is Kira’s justice right or wrong.

I think what sums it up better than I could is the difference between these two scenes (Please note I do not have my copy of the book on hand and I’m not rewatching the film so this is from memory. Words may not be exact but the overall sentence is). In the manga Light comments “They have chosen to call him Kira. I don’t particularly like it as it sounds similar to the American word for killer, which is not what Kira does, he is justice.” In the film, Light states “I chose the name Kira because it’s close to the Japanese word for killer.” There ya go. Light chooses (CHOOSES) the name Kira because it sounds like a nice edgy name that is a word for murderer, which Light views himself as.

Bottom line, don’t watch it unless you too want to be upset. L, Watari, sometimes Ryuk, and the plethora of awful snapchat stickers my friend and I got were the highlights.

 2/10 - just not no chip scene, barely any scenes from the manga.

[saeranoppa]

Hi! Can we get the RFA trying to comfort an MC who feels inadequate joining the RFA because everyone's so accomplished in there (either rich, a genius, or talented tbh) and she was just kind of thrown in because of Unknown? I'm sorry if that's oddly specific, but I just had that thought earlier and I love your scenarios/imagines. Thanks~!!!

i’m such a huge piece of shitfor taking this long. i have over 60 requests. i suck ass. i’m sorry. i’msorry. i’m sorry but like i have other stuff i need to do and inspiration justdoesn’t come and it would turn out really shitty otherwise. oH, and thank youso much! and also, it was kind of easy to write this since i can kind ofrelate. i’ve been feeling like that lately.

Two days ago, the entire RFA attended an interview since theassociation started getting more and more attention with each passing day. Youractions not going unnoticed by the world, so it was only natural for the worldto want to know more about all of you.

You were ecstatic about the interview.

They started with Jumin, CEO of C&R International, who wasfollowed by Zen, renowned and incredibly talented actor, then Jaehee, (was/is)head assistant at C&R International and an incredibly hard working woman.After her, they started interviewing Yoosung, who was now an incredible studentat one of the most prestigious universities in Korea and who had an extremelybright future. 

Seven decided not to take part in the interview for securityreasons, but he was a genius and the brains behind the app and security of theorganization. But everyone knew he was essential to the RFA. 

Finally, it was your turn to be interviewed. You had thepossible answers for the interview well-rehearsed thanks to Zen. Everyone haddone an amazing job which only made you strive for perfection.

“How did you join the RFA?”

“What do you do for theorganization?”

“Is it true that you took thelast Coordinator’s place?”

“Do you think you’re living upto the last Coordinator’s prestigious reputation?”

You noticed that the questions started getting harsher andharsher, and it wasn’t until some technical difficulties with the lights andsound, that the interview came to an end.

You were sure Seven had something to do with it. 

Your friends and lover weren’t dumb, they noticed the anxietythat soon started suffocating you thanks to your body language. Zen was thefirst one to notice, so when the interviewer asked if they could continue theinterview elsewhere, he intervened and told her in his ever-charming way thatthey were unable to stay any longer. 

It didn’t surprise you when the interviewer and the producersdecided to call it a day.

You were finally home. Everyone was gone because they all had work to do and you conveniently had a day off.

Sitting on the couch, you started going over the interview andit suddenly hit you.

You weren’t worthy of being inthe RFA.

There was a suddentightness around your throat as the fact that the only reason you joined wasbecause you had to. That the only reasonyou were part of this amazing organization was because you had been dumb enoughto listen to a stranger and go deliver a phone that wasn’t even yours. The onlything you did was put yourself and the entire organization at risk.

You were not special.

You were nothing.

Yoosung

You were supposed to see each other today to go on a date. Why?Because exams were over!!!!! And this nugget was excited to celebrate with yousince he had a feeling he did an amazing job.

He was surprised when he noticed that you weren’t already at thecafe you agreed on meeting at. 

15 minutes went by and there was no sign of you.

Worry started filling his mind when fifteen minutes turned intothirty.

He’d sent you a couple of texts but you didn’t reply.

Finally he decided to call you, and when he was about to end thecall, you answered.

Your voice sounded slightly hoarse and he swore he could hearsome faint sniffling.

“Uh, (y/n). Where are you?”

Shit. Your date. 

You shot up from the couch and ran towards the closet, trying tofind something decent to wear.

‘Wow, even for a task as easy as remembering acompromise, you really are incompetent.’

He heard shuffling on the other end of the line and that wasenough to let him know you were home.

He also heard you drop something which was followed by a longstring of curses with a shaky voice he knew all too well.

In a matter of minutes, you heard the front door open, thenclose, and finally your name being called out by the man you love.

“(y/n), where are you!?” hecalled out, concern evident in his voice.

You quickly made your way to the bathroom and noticed that youreyes were still slightly red and puffy.

You quickly rubbed your eyes and as you were about to splashsome water on your face, your boyfriend appeared by the doorframe.

Yoosung wasn’t as naive as everyone thought he was. Yes he wasyoung, but he wasn’t stupid nor blind.

Therefore, he was quick to put the pieces together. 

He was by your side in a matter of seconds, his arms envelopingyour smaller frame.

“What’s wrong?” he mumbled, hislips resting on your temple.

You shook your head and put on a kind but fake smile, just asZen taught you, and looked up at him.

“You worried me. You hung up so suddenly andcame here unexpectedly! I’m so sorry I forgot our date! I know you were eager,but it’s okay. There’s still time. Let’s go! We can have a lot of fun if we putthe time left to good use!”

And you started rambling. That was never a good sign.

“(y/n).”

“Come on Yoosung. Let’s go!” you tried breakingfree from his embrace, trying hard not to let him know what was truly botheringyou.

“(y/n),” he repeated himself.

“I read that it was going to be cold today soyou better get a coat or something!” just as you were about tolet go Yoosung did something he rarely did.

“(y/n)!!”

He raised his voice.

That was enough to snap you back and make you stare into thosebeautiful violet orbs.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. I’m worriedabout you,” he carefully turned you around before running hisfingers through your (h/c) tresses.

What made you crack was how apprehensive he looked. You didthat.

A few tears started filling your eyes, but not enough for themto spill. You’d cried enough by yourself and it was difficult to shed even moretears now.

“I…” you rested your foreheadagainst his chest, “Remember the interview we had acouple of days ago?”

He nodded, his hand now running up and down your back.

“It made me realize how I’m… nothing comparedto all of you.”

He blinked once, twice, before frowning and pulling back,staring down at you with nothing but rage in his eyes. 

“I knew that interviewer was crossing the linewhen she was asking you about your job in the RFA! I knew it wasn’t just me!”

He sounded enraged, his lipsnow finding their way to your cheek.

Slowly, you shook your head as your hand came to rest on yourboyfriend’s shoulder, “No, she was right. I… I wasforced to join. I had no choice. Not that I regret joining, I just… Ijust had to.  I enjoyedit, I still do. Being part of the RFA is a big blessing, I got to meet you.But… I’ve done nothing. I’m no one.”

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

“Says the guy who’s part of the top universities in the countryand to top it, one of the best students in their generation. The one who was abright future ahead of him and is sure to succeed in everything he wishes. Youwere made to be in the RFA. I just… I’m…”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.”

His voice was surprisingly quiet and calm, but you couldn’t helpbut feel a twinge of sadness.

Just as you were about to speak up, he said, “Before you came into the RFA you know exactly whereI was, who I was, how careless and utterly depressed I was.You know how much of an impact you’ve made on my life. I knowyou do because I always tell you. And you’ve also touched and changed the othermembers’ lives. You changed me. You gave the comfort and that push I needed to move forward. You did that. Youalso deal with some of the most important persons and businessmen and women, thatis no easy task at all. Please don’t underestimate yourself. You’reso special. You’re one of a kind. I… I don’t know what would’ve happened tome if you hadn’t come into my life. You’re my blessing.”

Still, you didn’t cry. You really, really couldn’t bringyourself to. Instead, your arms snaked around the blond man’s waist as yourforehead rested on his chest.

“You sure know how to make someone feelbetter,” you giggled before sniffling twice.

“I meant it.”

“I know.”

Zen

He came home from rehearsals that night.

To be honest, he’d been quite worried for you lately. 

We all know this man’s a great actor, so trying to out-act himwas… well, impossible.

He saw right through those fake smiles, through those “I’m fines”, and noticed the slight wavering of yourvoice.

He knew the reason why. He knew.

Zen just wanted to give you time to process your feelings andthink rationally, but it seemed that he would need to intervene this time.

But that night, instead of being greeted by a kiss, it was bythe faint sound of sobbing in the distance followed by silence.

You definitely heard him come home.

Immediately you covered yourself with the bed sheets and triedyour best to even your breathing, attempting to find a steady rhythm but to noavail.

You heard the soft click of the door being opened.

“I know you’re awake, honey,” hisvoice was soft and laced with worry.

Still, you refused to move. You didn’t want him to see you likethis. He who shined so bright only being clouded by you.

Your breath hitched when you felt weight on the other side ofthe bed followed by a strong and muscular arm being wrapped around you,bringing you close against his chest.

“It’s the interview, right?” heheard a soft sob escape your lips and his hold on you became slightly tighter.

You cursed at yourself for allowing such thing to happen, still,you were busted. Might as well go with it.

“Y-Yeah,” you said shortly.

He nodded once before gently removing the bed sheets from you,somehow managing to position you on top of him, his lips resting on yourforehead. 

“Babe, you know you’re essential to theorganization, right?”

Silence.

“You can’t be serious…” hemumbled, his grip loosening slightly.

“What? Feeling disappointed? No wonder. I mean,you’re Zen, the prodigy actor, human embodiment of angelic beauty! You shine sobright, you are just… blinding. And I’m just me. Dull. Gray. I did nothingspecial to join, I was just stupid enough to obey a complete strange-”

You weren’t allowed to finish because you were suddenly turnedaround and a pair of soft lips were pressed firmly against your own, as yourboyfriend’s hands slowly ran all the way down to your lower back, pressing youcloser to him.

“First of all,” he mumbledagainst your lips, tickling your skin with his breath, “you aren’t dull. You brought my dull life a lot of meaning. I’mnot ungrateful towards my fans or my fellow cast members, even less towards theRFA. It’s just that… every day was the same and you suddenly came in andchanged everything and I just. I love you. And I want you to believe inyourself more. You aren’t nothing. You never were. You’re a powerful beingwho’s able to completely turn around a person’s life for good. You are amiracle to the RFA.”

The man didn’t even allow you to speak since his lips werealready back on yours and never left your body that night.

Jaehee

Unlike the other two, the day after the interview she was quickto be by your side and hold you close.

“Are you okay?” she placed herhands on the side of your arms, rubbing them in a comforting manner. 

You simply stared at her, a lump suddenly appearing in yourthroat, “I… I’m unworthy. I’m inadequate to be in the RFA. I… Jaehee,I’m nothing. You’re… You’re incredible. You’re so strong, independent, yourun your own business, you were Jumin’s assistant, you helpedthe RFA more than any other member ever did, more than I ever did and I amcalled the damn coordinator,” you scoffed, “What a joke. You, Jaehee, you’re incredibly, you’re so hardworking, you’re capable of anything and I… I’m nothing.”

Nope.

She wasn’t having it.

This woman was treated like she was nothing for a big part ofher life and she didn’t want the person she loved most in this world to feelthe same. She just wasn’t going to let thathappen.

Jaehee grabbed your hands and brought them to her lips, all thewhile keeping eye contact with you, enjoying the light and unintentional blushthat managed to creep onto your face the moment her lips made contact with yourskin.

“Please, (y/n), you are… you are amazing.I know I’m not very good at constantly saying things like this. But I need youto listen to me,” she cleared her throatbefore looking into your shining eyes, God, she was so in love with you, “You may think you’re nothing. But believe me. You’re not. Youhelped me overcome a completely unhealthy living style, you pushed to start myown business, you are what made my life worth living. You are whatmakes me want to take risks now, you are the one person I always want to bewith. I don’t know what my life would’ve been if you had never shown up. I… Iam so in love with you and hearing you say things like that about yourselfbreaks my heart. So, please, love, don’t. You are amazing as you are. And Idon’t care what you say, you need to believe me when I say that you’rehardworking and ambitious and kind and simply a beautiful human being.”

She was out of breath when she finished talking, it was quitecute. 

“Do I make myself clear?” shepressed a gentle kiss against your lips, lingering for a few moments beforepulling back.

Jumin

You’d been quiet thatnight during dinner, answering his questions about your day with shortsentences.

“Honey, are you feeling okay?” he asked as his hand reached for yoursmaller one.

You offered him a smallsmile before nodding once and setting your fork down. You didn’t have much ofan appetite that night.

“I’m not really hungry, baby. I think I’m going to shower and then headto bed…” you trailed off and stood from your chair.

But before you couldeven make it to the door, there was an arm blocking your way.

You looked up only tofind his piercing metallic colored eyes looking at you with concern etched intothem.

“You really are bad at faking a smile,” he stated quietly as hisfingers moved to cup your delicate face.

You scoffed playfullybefore shaking your head briefly and gently pushing his arm down.

“I’m fine, really. I just need some rest.”

And the subject wasdropped.

It wasn’t until hewoke up in the middle of the night, tried reaching out for you, only to findyou gone.

He shot up from thebed in an instant and rushed outside, frantically looking for you.

This man was fucking mortified because he just couldn’tfind you anywhere inside the penthouse.

Just as he was aboutto contact security he noticed the outline of a person leaning against thebalcony, your outline.

In a matter of seconds,he was outside, his ears soon drowned by the sound of your soft sobbing.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. C r a p.

He wasn’t sure how toapproach you, since there was a reason you chose to cry by yourself.

But you looked solonely and his heart couldn’t take it. It was impossible for him to just leaveyou like that. He couldn’t.

It was his job as yourlover and husband.

Slowly his arms snakedaround your waist as his lips came to rest on your right shoulder.

He noticed the initialtension that overtook your body at the unexpected embrace.

But you graduallystarted relaxing.

No words wereexchanged for a couple of minutes until he cleared his throat and said, “Can you tell me what’s troubling you now, mydear?”

His hands startedrubbing slow circles on your sides, the now steady rhythm of his breaths managingto calm you down significantly.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Jumin,” you mumbled, turning aroundcarefully and brushing your lips against his own.

“It’s just that…” you let out a shaky breath before continuing, “Am I really worthy of being part of the RFA?”

He was caught offguard.

To be honest, he neverexpected you to ask something like that.

“What do you mean if you are worthy of being part of it?” he almostcouldn’t believe your question.

How could you everdoubt something like that?

“Well, yeah, it’s just. I,” you paused briefly before continuing, “I’m nothing special.”

And then it hit him.

The interview.

Zen wasn’t the onlywho noticed how your body language started screaming “anxiety” during theinterview, but back then he really couldn’t understand why you would get likethat. He really thought you were just getting nervous because it was your first time being interviewed.

But he had been utterly wrong.

“What are you talking about, (y/n)? Younot special?” his voice expressed nothing but pure disbelief, “You are one in a million. One in a billion.You’re unique, my goddess.”

This man alwaysmanaged to make you blush.

But still…

You shook your head,resting your forehead against his chest, taking in his addicting smell.

“No. I’m not. I’m just some dumb girl who thought that doing somestranger a favor would do some good. But instead I successfully put everyone’slives in danger. The questions made me realize how utterly useless and patheticI am compared to Rika.”

Her name left a badaftertaste on your mouth.

But this man wasn’thaving.

He pulled back fromthe embrace, his eyes boring into yours.

“Listen to me very carefully, (y/n). I never, ever, want to hear you speak in such a way of yourself. You are thewonderful woman that was capable of bringing down the walls that surrounded me.You are the woman who manages to bring life to a dull room. You are someone whomanages to make everyone around her smile. You are an amazing person, my love. AndI don’t want you to think of yourself as anything less than a Queen, because that iswhat you are. My beautiful Queen. The fact that you weren’t capable of coming tome at first really hurts me, (y/n). I beg of you, next time, if something everbothers you, please don’t hesitate and talk to me, that’s what I’m for. I’mhere to be your support just as you are mine, my dear.”

Seven

Of course he knew whatwas wrong with you.

He was the one whocaused the technical difficulties.

And as soon as youcame home you felt his arms wrap around your body.

He caught youcompletely off guard.

You wouldn’t even tryto hide it from him.

It was common sensethat he understood what you were feeling.

“You do realize you’re essential to us? To me?” his words were whatmade the tears you’d been holding back, spill.

You hid your face inthe crook of his neck, your teeth biting into your lower lip to keep your sobsfrom being released.

You didn’t want Saeranlistening to your annoying sobbing.

“I am nothing compared to all of you, Saeyoung. You are a genius, Jumin’s a CEO, Jaehee might aswell be the real Coordinator of the RFA, Zen is a prodigy, and Yoosung’sassisting one of the best universities in Korea. And what am I doing? Nothing.I just answer stupid e-mails. I was idiotic enough to endanger all of you bylistening to some random stranger!”

Your hands were nowlost in his ginger locks, grabbing fistfuls and gently tugging on them.

His smell was welcomingand slightly soothing. The simple fact that he was right there, in front of you,brought you immense comfort.

Once those words leftyour lips, the man carried you, locked your legs around his waist and made his way towards your shared bedroom.

He let himself fall onthe bed, bouncing a couple of times before finally looking straight into youreyes.

“I just want to let you know that you were the one that brought me andmy brother together. You were the one who made me open up, who made me believeI deserve happiness in my life. Who stood by my side even against great odds.You are the person I completely fell in love with, you are the one who saved mefrom myself. You are. No one else.”

He kissed you brieflybefore continuing.

“How can you be worse than the woman who killed the man she supposedlyloved? How can you be worse than the woman who kidnapped a child and made himbelieve his brother abandoned him? How can you be worse than the woman who threatenedto hurt her friends? How can you believe you are worse than that evil witch?(y/n), you are my angel. My savior. My real, honest to God, savior. You are myhope, my life. I don’t know where I would be without you. So please, don’t everthink of yourself that way because it breaks me. It breaks me to see someone aspure and kind as you belittle yourself in that way. I’m the one who’s doneawful things. I was part of a secret agency. And you still chose to stay by myside. How on Earth could you be useless?”

The look he gave youas he spoke, transmitted nothing but raw, strong loving.

His hands were on yourback, pressing you closer with every passing second.

At this point, alldoubt left your mind.

He made it all goaway. All the pain you were feeling just up and vanished because he was right.

He was your light andyou were his.

Your hand cupped hischeek, a few tears slowly running down your face.

“How can I love you so much, Choi Saeyoung?” you whispered.

Your fingers startedtracing his pink lips, your eyes never leaving his.

“You are my angel, (y/n). Please don’t ever doubt that,” hewhispered back.

“And you are mine,” you murmured, your breath now tickling his lips.

He couldn’t stand it.

Saeyoung’s hand made its way to the back your head, his fingers tangling with your hair, beforepulling you closer.

He was too slow.

You wrapped your arms aroundhis neck and let your lips hover briefly over his own, “I love you.”

The kiss didn’t startslow and gentle, like it usually did. It was hot and desperate and needy.

Saeyoung wasdesperately trying to bring you closer and closer to him, his hands tugging onyour hair ever so lightly.

You responded byslowly pushing back against the bed, never breaking the kiss.

It was almost as ifyou were clinging onto each other for dear life.

And it wasn’t until theboth of you were completely out of breath that you pulled back.

Saeyoung’s handsslowly started running up and down your back, his lips hovering over your jaw.

“I love you too, (y/n).”

And that night wasfull of searing kisses and gentle touches.

I’m sorry if this was shitty. I haven’t written in a while bcs I’m a huge piece of shit :)

[geniushourrm-blog]

Silence - A self-written play

April is sexual assault/harassment awareness month. I had written parts of this play before, but I wasn’t happy with the way it turned out. This play is about the aftermath of a girl being raped. It... really hit home for me. I can’t go too much into detail, but knowing someone who was sexually assaulted/raped, made writing this so much more difficult. But I felt that I couldn’t explain the words I felt, so I would make actors explain what i felt. It’s kind of hard to explain; it’s better if you read for yourself. 

Silence

Samantha Fullmer

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Nina Arkin: surviving rape victim, mentally unbalanced, remorseful, violent (towards self)

Ms. Laura Arkin: Mother to Nina, stressed and on edge, sleepless, guilty (towards Nina) 

Avery Arkin: sister and best friend to Nina, miserable, enraged (towards rapist) 

Dr. Andrews: psychiatrist to Nina, level-headed, supportive and caring 

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(standing in front of set towards stage left, single spotlight, distanced/withdrawn from reality)

Dr. Andrews: Growing up, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew I wanted to help. I didn’t know where and I certainly didn’t know how, but I wanted to help people. Somewhere along the line, I took a psychology class in college in between  current events and women’s studies and realized my future. I was going to be a psychiatrist; I was going to help people conquer their fears, face their realities, and cope with their pain. And that’s how I ended up here with families like the Arkin family at St. Angela’s Psychiatric Facility. The stories I hear can keep me up at night in fear of the world’s cruelty, but if that means I can save the lives of my patients, it will all have been worth it.

(turns and walks towards door and becomes a part of reality again. Opens door to reveal Ms. Arkin)

Dr. Andrews: Good morning, Ms. Arkin, thank you for rescheduling.

Ms. Arkin: Hello, Dr. Andrews.

Dr. Andrews: Please, take a seat, and we’ll begin.

(Both take a seat in designated chairs)

Ms. Arkin: You had mentioned over the phone that you wanted to continue from where we left off?

Dr. Andrews: Yes, I would like to go more in-depth about what we talked about last session. Start off from the night it happened. (Taking notes)

Ms. Arkin: (Shakily) …Okay. My youngest daughter and I had just finished watching a movie after eating dinner. Both of us were exhausted so we went to bed. I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow. I’m woken up to the ringing of my phone beside my bed. The alarm clock on my dresser read “2:49”. I thought it was just a prank call… to think that I almost didn’t answer that call haunts me.

Dr. Andrews: And who was on the phone? What did they say to you?

Ms. Arkin: It was the Santa Barbra Police Department. They had called to inform me that my daughter had been found in an ally…. Naked, injured, and traumatized….  The police told me she’d been on her way home from work when a man- when a man had-

Dr. Andrews: Take your time, Ms. Arkin.

Ms. Arkin: (Sigh) She’d been on her way home from work when a man had attacked and…raped her.

Dr. Andrew’s: And what was your initial thought when you first heard this information?

Ms. Arkin: It was as if my life had been shattered. All I heard was a ringing in my ears. All I felt was my throat close. And all I knew is that I had failed.

Dr. Andrews: Failed? How so?

Ms. Arkin: Do you have children, Dr. Andrews?

Dr. Andrews: No, Miss.

Ms. Arkin: When you become a mother, you know in that very second that their live begins that your life becomes theirs. You live for their happiness and you break with their pain. Your duty is to guide them through life and protect them. I failed.

Dr. Andrews: This is not true, Ms. Arkin, there’s no way you could have known-

Ms. Arkin: I was supposed to protect my baby and I couldn’t! Where was I when she needed me? Why should she have to suffer because of my failure?

Dr. Andrews: Ms. Arkin, you need to accept that there’s nothing you could have done in your situation. What happened to your daughter was out of your control.

Ms. Arkin: If that were the case, then why would I feel the way I do?

Dr. Andrews: Grief works in strange ways, Ms. Arkin. You feel such immense guilt from the moment you realized how helpless you were in the situation. It’s of the utmost importance to me that you understand that this wasn’t your fault, neither your youngest or oldest daughter’s fault that this horrible crime was committed. The only person who could have changed the outcome of the situation is the man who attacked her.

Ms. Arkin: I wasn’t helpless, Doctor! I could have made her choose a closer school or I could have picked up an extra job or two to help pay for her schooling or-

Dr. Andrews: You’re never going to forgive yourself thinking about what you could have done to prevent this.

Ms. Arkin: Maybe I don’t deserve to forgive myself. Perhaps this is my penance.

(Scene stops, Dr. Andrews rises from seat and returns to stage left while Ms. Arkin leaves stage. Avery walks into room and takes Ms. Arkin’s seat.)

Dr. Andrews: Ms. Arkin hasn’t received a real night’s sleep since learning about the incident. To be fair, neither have I. But perhaps she deals with her emotion better than her youngest daughter, Avery…

(Turns and returns to previous sitting location and positions.)

Dr. Andrews: Good morning, Avery. How are you feeling today? (Taking notes)

Avery: I’m feeling just as ruined as yesterday and the day before that, but that’s not the answer you want to hear.

Dr. Andrews: I always want you to be honest with me about how you feel.

Avery: No, you want to hear that I’m “healing” as if I could ever just forget this happened. You want to brainwash me like you did my mother and sister.

Dr. Andrews: Avery, you know very well that “brainwashing” as you call it, is not in my job description. We’re not here so I can make you forget all these feelings. We need to acknowledge them and allow you to understand that it’s not your fault-

Avery: Of course it’s not my fault! It’s that criminal’s fault! That- that MONSTER was the one who made my family the way it is. He was the one who ruined us!

Dr. Andrews: I’m glad you understand this wasn’t you or your family’s fault.

Avery: You know he was granted probation and community service? How could he, the man the ruined my family, get off the hook so easily? How come he gets to walk away unharmed when the rest of us are left shattered in his wake?

Dr. Andrews: As you grow up you’re going to see unfair acts in the justice system. It’s up to you to not let those injustices change you for the worst.

Avery: He needs to pay for what he did-

Dr. Andrews: We cannot allow ourselves to stoop down to his level of violence.

Avery: (Scoff) “Stoop down to his level”? I’d have to kill all my morals to be anything like him. He destroyed my family, he crushed the person she used to be, he doesn’t deserve freedom. Hell is too good of a place for him!

Dr. Andrews: You’re exhibiting rather extravagant levels of rage today.

Avery: Oh? You think? I wonder why that could be! It’s as if I can’t sleep knowing my mom is in her room crying her eyes out or that we’re together at home while you keep my sister locked up in this place like some type of animal!

Dr. Andrews: We need to keep Nina here for her safety. We cannot let her attempt to hurt herself. She needs to be supervised around the clock.

Avery: No, what she needs is to come home to the people who actually love her! What she needs is a day of the week where she isn’t high as kite with the medications you pump into her. What she needs- what she deserves is the justice of knowing that her rapist is behind bars and suffering. That’s what she needs!

Dr. Andrews: Avery, I know it can be difficult to understand, but we’re doing everything in our power to help Nina.

Avery: It’s not just difficult to understand, it’s impossible.

(scene stops, Dr. Andrews raises from seat and makes way to stage left while Avery exits the room and Nina takes her spot)

Dr. Andrews: Avery has an uncontrollable rage. She wants justice, but can’t live with herself when that justice falls short. She expects so much from a system that was never on her side from the beginning….

(Turns and returns to previous position)

Dr. Andrews: Good morning, Nina. How are you feeling today?

Nina: (Silence)

Dr. Andrews: Nina? Did you hear me?

Nina: (Nods)

Dr. Andrews: Please, Nina. How are you feeling today?

Nina: (rough voice) Does it matter?

Dr. Andrews: Yes, of course it matters, Nina. Tell me how you’re feeling.

Nina: I’m feeling… empty.

Dr. Andrews: Okay, what do you want to talk about during the session?

Nina: Nothing.

Dr. Andrews: If that’s what you’re comfortable with, we may just sit in silence. I want to do what’s comfortable with you, Nina.

Nina: …I can’t stand the silence.

Dr. Andrews: Pardon me?

Nina: The silence I- I can’t take the sound of the silence.

Dr. Andrews: Why not, Nina? How does it affect you?

Nina: It reminds me of the silence of the street on that night. It reminds me of how quiet he was when he approached me. I remember the howling of the wind in my ears.

Dr. Andrews: What else do you remember?

Nina: I still think about the flickering city lights and the abandoned shops with employees who had been fortunate to leave long before I had. And that’s when I felt his presence behind me. The night went from cold to freezing and his breath was like ice along my neck. He’s violent and as fast as his actions are, it feels as if time has slowed. It becomes painfully obvious now that there’s no one on this street but us. And it becomes horrifyingly clear what’s about to happen.

Dr. Andrews: You don’t have to continue if you feel uncomfortable, Nina.

Nina: No, no, it’s okay. I need to tell someone, if I don’t I’m going to lose my mind.

Dr. Andrews: Okay, continue.

Nina: I- I fight against him, but his grip is like lead and he won’t budge. I feel his hands grasp my throat and tighten their hold. I vision grows blurry and I feel my heart rate accelerates. I’m shoved into the side of a building and yelp when my head begins to pound.

(Ms. Arkin and Avery are at the doorway and listen)

He begins to tear off my clothes, and I feel the sting of the fabric chafe my skin. I’m screaming as loud as I can, but no one can hear me. I’m crying but no one cares.

Dr. Andrews: How has life changed for you since that night?

Nina: I feel like a stranger in my own body. I don’t know myself anymore. Every part of me feels foreign and unreal. I don’t feel safe in my own skin.

Dr. Andrews: How has your family changed around you?

Nina: They treat me with such fragility, as if I’m made of glass. They’re always careful around me like I’m a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off.

Dr. Andrews: And how has society changed towards you?

Nina: It’s like people I’ve never met in my life seem to know my story better than I do. I hear their whispers when they pass me. They say I’m used goods…that what happened to me was my fault. Did I deserve this?

(Ms. Arkin enters and sits beside Nina.)

Ms. Arkin: But you understand that this isn’t your fault, right, Nina?

Nina: I don’t know anymore. Maybe it was my fault.

(Avery walks towards Nina and sits on the side opposite her mother)

Avery: There’s no one to blame but the man who did this.

Nina: The day was months ago, but it fills my thoughts, it eats away my pride, it destroys my mind. It’s inescapable, it will follow me forever.

Ms. Arkin: But we will be by your side throughout all of it. We’re your family, and we would never let you carry this burden alone.

Dr. Andrews: We’re all here for you, Nina. We’re all here to see you recover.

Nina: And I appreciate all of you, really.

Ms. Arkin: We failed you once, we won’t fail you again.

(Group hug among the three women on the “couch”)

(Dr. Andrews stands up and returns once more the stage left)

Dr. Andrews: It’s easy to turn your head away from other’s pain. It’s easy to stay silent about injustices that don’t affect you directly. But know that pain is universal and even if you’re not affected, someone else is.

(Avery stands up and moves towards stage right)

Avery: That monster who raped my sister will walk away unharmed. He may never feel the full punishment of his crimes that he deserves. I know the world is unfair, you don’t have to remind me. And as I look at the world around me, I’m sick to my stomach. I feel an indescribable pain knowing that there are other people around the world in the same shoes as my sister. And that pain only grows when I think about the society we live in. The society that tells victims like my sister that the atrocities that happened to her are her fault. That she was “asking for it” with her “revealing” clothing or outspoken personality. How could anyone ever understand the pain my sister endured and think she caused or deserved it?

(Ms. Arkin stands from the couch and moves towards center left stage)

Ms. Arkin: Did my daughter deserve to lay there helpless and afraid? Does she deserve the cruel way people speak about her? She was just a kid when this happened to her, but she was forced to grow up too soon. Grow into a hateful world filled with people who blamed the victims instead of the criminals. Society shames rape survivors into believing it’s their fault they were raped… Would you ever blame someone for being shot? Mugged? How can any crime be a victim’s fault?

(Nina stands up from the couch and makes her way to center right stage)

Nina: Society has a funny way of showing its feelings. So many people like to act as if they care about rape survivors but it’s just a way of coping with guilt. People want to pretend to care but they’re not willing to change. Ignorance is still overwhelmingly strong. And before you ask-

All: No, I don’t find your rape joke to be funny.

Nina: -I never have and I never will. Because humor is meant to heal, not harm. No one should have to be told that real pain and misery isn’t the punchline of a joke because while you’re laughing it’s tearing me up inside. I’m just lucky to have people in my life that love me even when I find that loving myself is impossible.

Avery: And we will always love you. We’re family and we’ll protect you.

Ms. Arkin: Forever and always.

(Family hug)

Dr. Andrews: This is my job. It’s never been easy and it may never get easier, but I don’t do it because it’s easy. I know the road ahead of me is long, but I continue because I must. I continue for the moments like these. The small moments in life where you find that one little bit of hope that makes the world human again. Moments like beautiful sunny days, reunion among friends, or even families rebuilding trust. (Gestures to family)

Dr. Andrews: And when you find those moments in life, those moments that make your heart fill with love and happiness, hold on to them for as long as you can. Never let them go.

THE END