#godddddd i feel like ripping apart my body thinking about things i did why couldnt you have been smarter better why were you you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kartana · 4 months

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I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.

#i was going to save this in drafts but fuck off its my blog and the only time posting my feelings bled into real life it was with v #and it was a good thing i wish i had the fucking guts and wisdom to recognize and talk about #godddddd i feel like ripping apart my body thinking about things i did why couldnt you have been smarter better why were you you #i want to go back and be a different better me than the real me #i need to have been better what the fuck was wrong with me #big lungful of air later i will not be cruel to a naive and inexperienced younger me but god i wish i was better #theres more life theres more time its fine live with it and continue #jesus christ #i wish i could just cry my whole body feels stuck #im physically holding in the emotions out of instinct #out of old habits borne from doing anything to avoid the pain and now its stuck in my fucking chest #get out of meeeee #let me sleeeeeeep its the AM now these emo feelings are lack of sleep bullshitttttt #god i want ti call off work im quiting soon anyways #and i wont #fuck

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