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l-in-the-light · 2 days ago

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The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Wano (part 15)

Finally, it's time to analyze the raid! Lots of scrutinizing, sometimes literally frame by frame analysis here, hehe. I had a blast preparing it, hope you all enjoy :3

And we start from the very beginning of the raid, yeah, that's right :D it's interesting how Luffy had the choice to fight in samurai attire but decided against it at the last moment and went on with his own clothes instead. The mantle looks a bit similar to what Shanks wears, but it's curious how both Law AND Luffy suddenly came up with the same idea, both wearing mantles while never caring for it before, right? Great minds think alike, or perhaps...? It's always curious to see Luffy, who is very attached to his usual clothes, to change his wardrobe to fit the occassion :D it's more evident in movies I guess. But on the way to Dressrosa, Luffy did enjoy dressing as a samurai a lot.

Those mantles are reminescent of Shanks and Cora-san respectively ofc. I don't count Kid, he was wearing his furry one ever since Sabaody, heh.

Law allows Luffy to get the spotlight here btw and for him to say one of the coolest lines of the whole raid too. He might mind taking orders or looking bad in front of third parties (like Kid), but overall? He gives away the credit. Aren't they equal in this alliance after all? Yet he chooses again for Luffy to take the centre of the stage.

In a moment Law will be moody and picking up fights lol, but it doesn't override this tranquil moment of just "standing" side by side with his ally. Speaking of picking up fights, manga and anime provide us two different reasons behind it though. Let's start with the anime.

Anime added a tiny little interaction which I made into a gif above (I wanted a vid, but eh, no matter how much I converted, it still didn't want to upload here, so the gif would have to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

Luffy (his ship passes by Law's ship, he smiles but doesn't say anything to Law, instead shouts to Kid): You came after all, Gizao!

Kid: I won't let you have Kaido's head, Strawhat!

Law: *tsk*

Luffy doesn't say the usual "HI TORAO!" or give any sort of acknowledgment to Law and instead focuses on Kid there. But if you followed with my analysis for all the previous parts then you know already that it basically never happened before. Luffy is always spotting Law and giving him attention immediately. But here, arguably only the smile might have been meant for him (or not, debetable, he did smile towards Kid before in Udon when he asked him to beat Kaido together).

Law's reaction to all of that? He just made an annoyed noise. He didn't get Luffy's attention, even though by all means he should have expected to get some acknowledgement of his presence. And to rub salt into the wound, Kid got that attention instead. The very same Kid Law was jealous about twice before! LOL The first time was on the way to Dressrosa (Luffy getting excited finding out about Kid's alliance) and second time in Wano, when Law noticed news about Kid being kept in Udon. He made quite a big reaction, especially so in the anime, when he was completely spiraling into his own thoughts and neglected everything happening around him for a bit, lol. I think this indeed proves, perhaps, that Law is jealous. Kinda relatable, he's Luffy's ally, he was there for the whole ride, not Kid, why would Luffy give all the attention to the new friend he found in Udon instead? If I can relate to this so easily then perhaps it means I'm just as petty omg.

But little does he know, Luffy probably acted this way because of his undying confidence in Law. Of course Law appeared at the day of the raid, Luffy would never doubt that. Kid, on the other hand, was a big unknown in comparison and told Luffy before that he won't show up, so... Luffy is lowkey calling out Kid for his lie here, heh. And we know Luffy dislikes it when people lie to him!

Luffy was in fact so confident and had so much faith in things working out (despite leaving it all in other people's hands, like Law's or Kinemon's), that he stuffed himself silly and fell asleep, so he's well rested before the battle. The very same Luffy who protested in WCI that rest and bath should be reserved for after-battle celebrations, mind you. Now he acts almost like he listened to doctor's advice to gather the most strength and not waste it around before the raid. You think he listened to Chopper? Nah, for once that wasn't coming from Chopper. We heard that discourse of "saving up your strength for the raid" from this particular individual:

Which means, Luffy again did listen to Law. Good boy. But wait, you might say, Luffy wasn't present in this scene! Sure, he wasn't, but his crew was and Law basically drilled into their heads this mindset (now that I think of it, he probably can be a bit annoying with repeating the same stuff again and again. He has this slightly preaching vibe about him). They for sure told Luffy after he broke out of Udon.

This one is a bit curious. Kinemon is apologizing that the plan got leaked and Luffy looks very surprised (he's not looking at Kanjuro despite their frames being right after one another). Luffy didn't know about Kanjuro's betrayal yet at this point, so it would make no sense for him to stare at him (Kanjuro's frame is there because he's gleefully proud of himself as being the source of trouble). So what or who is Luffy looking at? Considering what Kinemon is saying, he's looking in his direction, clearly confused. And where is Kinemon kneeling? On Law's submarine.

Yes, it's likely Luffy isn't looking at Kin directly, but more like searching for Law's reaction to this. But Luffy isn't distressed, he's a bit surprised instead and seeking for confirmation, imo. Despite that, it doesn't faze him, not really (when was Luffy ever fazed in situations like that anyway? Luffy's usual idea how to deal with complications is by beating more bad guys), he's just concerned because he cares a lot for both Kin and Law (and by extension for samurais and the raid).

In next page, they find out from Kaido's minions that Kaido and Big Mom formed an alliance together. Everyone is reacting with shock to the news and focus on the alliance part... except this guy again, reacting with a very annoyed face and spurting "Big Mom...?!!" instead.

Law reacts to the news about Big Mom firstmost, because he remembers who travelled to her territory to get one of his people back, uhum. And swore not to cause any trouble and do it discreetly. Now Law found out the "discreet" part completely failed and Luffy managed to bring his tail (in the form of a very furious emperor of the sea) with him to Wano. He doesn't seem very pleased with that. He's so overfocused on it that the whole "alliance between emperors" thing feels *less siginificant* in this moment, even though it's devastating news! LOL. Please, mr Strategist, keep it together, without you this raid won't ever reach Kaido!!

He's not very pleased with this outcome, because in the next pages he calls Luffy per "idiot" which he actually doesn't do very often (just sometimes), but always when it's deserved (it's completely deserved here lol).

And I think this disappointment that Luffy brought Big Mom with him is the explanation of why Law is acting like a brat and wants to take over (in the manga). No more giving away the spotlight! Law has to again tidy things up after Luffy, after all. This might also be his silly anger that is hiding the fact he got worried. What exactly did Luffy do in WCI? Law must have asked himself that question countless times before, but decided it's not important to know the details as long as Luffy is back. Seems their escape was not safe at all and it's the moment Law realized it. It probably hit him like a piano to the coyotte's head like in that cartoon, you know which one, right??

Putting his inner thinking process aside, we shouldn't forget how rare it is that Law is feeling like "showing off" and quarreling like a brat with the other Supernovas. He's always the responsible guy, only with them he acts a bit like a child, and we know most of his childhood got robbed from him. So all of this results in unforeseen wholesome consequences, Law can behave more freely, like a bratty teen for once.

Important to note here is that Law is only speaking to Luffy directly and facing him as they quarrel. Kid faces Law, but never gets any attention back, lol. It's even more emphasized in the anime version:

Oh boy, in the anime the insult only gets worse. Not only Luffy didn't acknowledge Law's presence, he also gave out an order "stand back" in everyone's hearing range. Add Law's jealousy to it and annoyance about the Big Mom, and Law's big reaction isn't suddenly so strange anymore. It's easy to understand why he would tell Luffy to stand back instead and that he can't rely on him anymore.

Luffy doesn't want to give in and doesn't understand why Law doesn't let him take care of things. Luffy is a simple person, when he says someone takes care of something, he always lets them do it, so he really wants to know why Law wouldn't let him. Normally Luffy also would just proceed to do whatever he wants anyway, but he stops and takes time to actually *listen to Law* first instead. He's also (comically) taken really aback when Law shouts at him, calling both him and Kid morons. Luffy is not used to Law treating him like that lol. Seriously, he's not! Law always downplays Luffy's blame in everything, gives away his own credit and gives in to Luffy, but here, for some reason, he insists not to. But Luffy realized whatever it is, Law is not feeling like sharing the reason, so he decides to do what he usually does: showing Law he's capable of dealing with this no problem, on his very own.

Now let's take a closer look at Law and his body language here. Despite Law's assertive words and declaration that he can't count on Luffy, when Luffy asked to leave the enemy ships up to him, Law did lower his hand that was already prepared to set up the room. Again, his body language and words contradict each other, he says he can't rely on Luffy but he also lowers his hand like he's prepared to do just that: rely on him. He still respects Luffy enough to pause and talk, even if he has no intention of giving in. He also clenches his hand into a fist right afterwards, which can mean that he's made a firm resolve here: to act a certain way and preservere despite his initial instinct. To provide another examples of similar situation, he clenched his fists when he wanted to run out of the hospital and didn't want to visit any doctors (in the flashback), but he stayed for Cora-san. He also clenched his fist like that when Luffy was leaving for Whole Cake Island, like a reminder of his own resolve. did Law actually want to go with him instead? I guess we will never know...

Want my wildest guess here? I think Law regretted leaving Luffy alone with the WCI mission (if he did go as well, he would make sure not to bring Big Mom along!), thought he was wrong to leave for Wano himself and should have followed Luffy like he wanted to, which is why here he wants to take over now to compensate for it, lol.

But you know, he might just be simply petty because he disliked that Luffy gave him an order, in front of Kid of all people. It's rarely just one reason for Law's behaviour anyway.

Of course Law wins in their little competition thanks to the rain. He also says: "You two are losers, no complaints then, right?" which shows that he thinks that winning in the race is enough to make them stand back, because (in his mind) he won his right to take care of the things. In a way, that's somehow honorable. But it's also his answer to what Luffy said "first come, first served" - Law was the first one so Luffy should by all means back off, lol. Luffy almost got forced to accept that, but he doesn't, he's too stubborn for that. It's hard to say who is more stubborn sometimes: Law or Luffy. Law also constantly regrets his decision to compete in the first place, if his furrowed brows reactions are anything to go by.

It's funny how Luffy is still going on about Law retreating, like he truly expected him to. Who knows, maybe in other circumenstances, Law actually would, lol. Here we are, taking Law's reaction in the raid as a given, as his *usual* reaction (hating to take orders, not leaving things up to Luffy, not liking to be treated as support), but seems it's actually something that is *against their usual dynamics* instead. Why would Luffy be so baffled otherwise? Luffy is not an idiot who doesn't pay attention to his friends, he does his best with that. He's at least smart enough to figure out how Zoro and Sanji are super important for each other, despite always fighting and quarreling. And yet here Luffy is only getting more and more baffled, which explains why he later paid so much attention to Law's moody attitude at Onigashima's roof battle as well. He knew Law was in bad mood ever since the beginnng of the raid and acted strange, and Luffy finally was able to identify the (biggest part of the) reason behind that (spoiler alert: it was the presence of Kid). Not here yet though, lol.

Law's comments about his room are also quite hilarious. When he answers Luffy he's just like "who cares" or "so what", dismissive, because Luffy should have known better not to pick up a competition with him in the rain, Luffy knows his devil fruit ability pretty well by now. Honestly, Luffy can blame only himself here. Law didn't even have to acknowledge his comment in any way, but he did, because well, he can never resist giving attention to Luffy, even when they're quarreling. That's some crazy standards he has right there and seems he only has them for people he likes/respects (and in most cases it's Luffy). Law's answer to Kid is much worse: "I don't want to hear that from you (who is a show off)". He's just being mean to him and only because he can, lol. Though it's true Kid is a show off, so you know, just stating the facts ;)

Now after they destroyed that ship, it's time for more arguing, of course. In previous series of screenshots I included the frame in which they attack the ships. Law destroyed the ship's keel at the top (his attack is indicated by the blue light), while Luffy and Kid both did side attacks instead. If you remember Water 7, keel is the ship's spine, doing damage to it is literally rendering the ship useless and beyond repair. I will let you judge who was the one who ultimately destroyed those ships :D also this sorta proves Law has some basic knowledge about how ships work! Not that I ever doubted it.

Kid immediately tries to brag, but Law ignores his comment completely and doesn't even look at him, he just points towards the next target. He has already resigned himself to be in company of morons lol. Luffy also looks at Law and decides he will show off to Law some more, by destroying the very ship Law pointed towards! He's surprised that he got Law's direct reply (his face goes all :O for a second). Why would Luffy be so surprised that Law answered him? He should be used to it by now? Indeed, but Law is behaving strange according to Luffy here and he just saw him ignore Kid completely, despite Kid complaining for being ignored. Luffy must have thought he will get the same treatment as Kid did, perhaps because Law is angry, but surprise, Law didn't ignore him. He talks to Luffy and even looks at him as he does. I can only imagine Kid fuming even more when he noticed the difference in treatment lol.

But the thing he tells him is another matter heh. Of course Law points out that he was the one who destroyed the ship and the others are just playing around, not taking this seriously. Luffy is mad, because he is taking it seriously, he's just unaware that the damage he dealt and the damage Law dealt are fundamentally different (one was fatal, the other didn't have to be). It's still quite a childish thing to quarrel about anyway, lol.

In the manga as well, Law is mostly facing Luffy and pointing at him when they quarrel, completely ignoring Kid. So who thinks Kid feels here like a third wheel?

I also wonder if Luffy secretly slightly enjoys having a competition with Law (just the competition part, not the quarrel part!). You can see his eyes going all serious and business-like a couple of times, lol.

Then we have a break from the fight and everyone learns the raid is gonna be just fine, samurais made it. Luffy cheered up quickly and Law calmed down as well, seems he let out the steam and he embraced the Big Mom's situation already. He even is back to being worried 24/7 and reminds Luffy that Big Mom is unforeseen circumenstances here so he shouldn't let his guard down. Look at him, he doesn't even mention that it was Luffy's fault that Big Mom is even here in the first place! Despite this being a perfect opportunity for it! Now that I think of it, I can't remember even one situation in which Law blamed Luffy openly or directly for anything. He is capable of doing that to other people though, he blamed Zoro from head to toes at the start of the arc, lol. Just not Luffy... He kinda accepted it as something caused by, you know, natural causes ;) Besides, if Law really thinks he should have come along to WCI, then of course he takes the blame on himself instead in the end (as in: he could have prevented this outcome).

After they learn about Denjiro's betrayal of Kaido, Luffy laughs. Law looks to his side then, and when we follow the next frame we see of them, it seems he was looking at Luffy, not the ships. Catching Luffy smiling made him look at him and smile too, huh. I love the anime staff for adding this little interaction here between them. It's almost too cute and wholesome ❤

Anyway, I guess they're good already, quarrel's over, we can all go home now, lol.

In next moment Law already moved on, somehow thinking Luffy and Kid are done as well. They're so not, lol. Law doesn't bother anymore though, finally leaving it up to them, even though he thinks destroying the few leftover ships is actually no longer neccessary.

It's especially funny to compare it to his attitude from the very beginning, before they learned about the Big Mom being in Wano. He's commenting "they're showing off again" and smirking at the sight, completely calm. That attitude won't be back till the end of the raid lol. RIP.

Then we learn that Jimbei is here to join the Strawhats crew. Law is disbelieving with "uso daro?!" (literally: "you're lying, right?" or less literally how it's translated above lol). No one's tricking you Law, but his reaction proves that he never heard of this development before, despite the fact Luffy wanted Jimbei to join ever since Fishman Island! He had multiple occassions to mention it to Law, even if he couldn't have the opportunity to do it after WCI.

Now why does Law care so much? Is it because he feels ignored as an ally? Or perhaps? He feels a bit weirded out, because after Marineford, it was him and Jimbei in Amazon Lily witnessing Luffy rampaging in grief and sorrow, and now it turns out that same Jimbei is joining Luffy's side... I wonder what incredulous thoughts are going through Law's head in this moment. Is he terrified? Impressed? Both at the same time? Let's not forget Luffy did declare Law his crewmate all by himself in Dressrosa already and Law's expression might be the flashback to that memory, because this puts Jimbei and Law in suspiciously similar positions here (parallels-wise). Both of them were there at Amazon Lily with Luffy, both are captains of their own crews, even both of them were warlods of the sea at some point! Tbh I would be also questioning my sanity here, if I was Law, lol.

Kid's reaction to the new development quickly turns to him smirking and walking away, minding his own business. It's interesting, because right after we see Law's reaction which is the direct opposite. He's staring in Luffy's ship direction, not even looking away when Kinemon joins him. He seens a bit whimsical or even has this odd lonely aura around him. Actually, he kinda is left out here. He's Luffy's ally, right now they're together, but he gets kinda excluded from this event. Like yeah, it's not his business, it's Luffy's own crew, not Law's. And yet his *stare* says something different here.

Anime really put emphasis on it, but he does the exact same in manga, if you pay attention. He's also saying that slightly spiteful and petty comment (it is a bit spiteful, come on, let's face that fact). Also I can't help but think that Law is staring at Luffy directly again who is doing all those cheerful excited gestures with his hands raised above him. Their ships are close enough that they can hear what the Strawhats are saying, so definitely can see it too.

Also if you think Law never intended to create a plan for Strawhats because he finally learned to leave them be, then think back to what he did right after explaining the plan (very reluctantly because he was still holding some grudge apparently) to Kinemon and samurais.

His plan already included Strawhats in it (in quite a brilliant way, he decided to use their natural tendencies and made place for it in his double diversion tactics, even if it is also funny af). He calls them just "two idiots" which in Japanese is a bit more nuaunced... he says "baka nikai" (a very curious phrase to use. Nikai is how you count the number of times something happened, most often used as "twice". So the meaning should be closer to something like this: "no matter what plan you think of, there will be an occurance of some idiot (make the occurance twice) appearing to ignore it anyway". Would be so fitting for his peculiar way of speaking sometimes, lol). He feels the need to specify how many idiots he means, because he's speaking to the samurais and they don't know Kid, so he provides helpful context (not really, just the base minimum of it lol). He actually specifies it like an afterthought here, which proves he uses "baka" for plural people quite frequently. This is also second time he officially does that, I wrote about the first use in the previous post. Baka can be used to refer to plural number of people, no need for unnatural forms like baka-tachi, it all depends on the context in the end, as always.

Right after he tells samurais the plan, he goes back to stare at Luffy's ship only to realize it's gone now. He probably wanted to try to tell them what they decided, despite what he declared earlier: that there's no need to set up a plan for Luffy's group or share anything with them, lol. He went back on his own words really quickly.

It happens in anime as well and is more emphasized. Someone's worried again lol. What happened to "don't bother with them" attitude, Law? :D yep, already completely gone. So yeah, if you believed his petty spite from earlier, congrats, you fell for him pretending not to care, lol yes, I fell for it too, only after analysis it dawned on me that he was just petty.

In manga he's much calmer, but then he's also turned with his back to the reader, so it's also harder to tell. His reaction seems less big in comparison and his speech bubble is normal, not shouting :) he also doesn't seem very alerted, which indeed proves that in the manga, Law got a bit more used to Strawhats antics and doesn't overreact to every tiny thing anymore (which is both awesome and a bit of a pity, but at least we have the anime to still deliver on that overreacting front, hehe).

For comparison purposes. Completely different attitude, haha.

Luffy and the Strawhats destroy one of the minor (but important) enemy bases and Luffy spots Law's submarine and waves to Kinemon immediately, looking very happy. This shows Luffy probably did hear Kin shouting to them before, he was just too excited to react in time :D

If you think Luffy only thinks of Kinemon here, you would be gravely mistaken. It's likely he spotted the submarine and got happy instantly because of the Polar Tang's captain as well. After all, Kinemon and Law ARE on same ship. I swear Brook is looking there too... or is he staring at Zoro and Sanji bickering with each other? Lol.

The same moment in the anime. You can spot the exact moment in which Luffy's beaming smile appears as he spots the submarine ❤ he's also doing his happy X pose and waving his hands like crazy hoping they can see him.

Luffy wants to celebrate Jimbei joining the crew with the Strawhats here (it was actually prompted by Franky first, believe it or not), but then ditches the idea after submarine swims by. This moment puzzled many fans, me included, which is why I was cracking my head open to try to see if I missed something and why does this feel so damn important. Even the chapter's title, "Party Off", underlines the fact that they're delaying the party for crew joining, and by all means this chapter should be called instead with Jimbei's crewmate number (shall be the 9th, because Brook's chapter was called the 8th). I have come to my own conclusions and I will share them at the end of this post.

There will be a lot of focus on the anime, because it really expands on this scene. It's also one of the episodes done by the most oustanding animator in OP's anime department (she also did the famous One Piece Fan Letter special).

Luffy is really moved seeing the energy of the samurai, who are led by the Polar Tang and Kinemon in the front. Now, Kin is not the captain of the ship. He was not the one to give the order to move on, that was Law. We don't see it happen, but it's a natural logical conclusion; only captains give orders for the ship to charge forward. We need to have it clear in our heads, Law originally wanted to kick out the samurais from his ship and refused to do anything before they get off. But after he gave in and included himself in the revised plan, he wanted to tell Luffy the news. Look at the things from his perspective. Luffy didn't wait, just moved on and tried to make a celebration while they should be moving on immadiately, like samurais say it: time is of essence because Kanjuro is already on the move to report to Orochi! So Law wanted to tell Luffy stuff, but Luffy just wanted to party. Remember Punk Hazard and how taken aback Law was when he asked Luffy to move on quickly and that they don't have time for parties now, but Luffy ignored him? This is payback. Law told samurais to move on and not wait for Luffy, because he got annoyed, both by the fact Luffy didn't wait for him here and also because of the flashback to Punk Hazard. This time, Law pushes his point across, which is: THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO CELEBRATE STRAWHAT-YA.

You can see Luffy's change of mind as meaningful answer to that. This time, he listened and followed Law's lead. LUFFY FOLLOWED LAW'S LEAD. You heard me right.

But that's not all there is to it, there is a lot of subtle subtext going on besides that. In many visual cues like Luffy's mug timed to Oden's footstep, the emphasis on Luffy putting his hat back on while he stares after the submarine, and in all the small reactions each Strawhat shows to Luffy's decision. It's a feast to analyze.

In this visually stunning moment, Kin and Oden are facing opposite directions, but it looks like Oden is charging ahead, encouraging his samurais to follow behind him again. And the last of Oden's stomps turns into Luffy's mug landing on the ground with a loud "don", replacing the sound from the present with the one from the past.

And then Luffy announces to just delay the party for later, after they win and everyone follows through with smiles.

But who started this dynamic exchange? Do the Strawhats know why Luffy called quits here?

Zoro quickly smirks, he would follow Luffy no matter what, but he's also the one who is with Luffy the longest, so he knows thanks to his extraordinary intuition what's in his captain's head.

Sanji is only observing at first, more every detail about Luffy's behaviour than his words. Then Luffy does his "heeheehee" laugh (as opposed to his usual shishishi), which finally makes Sanji crack a little smile that turns into full blown hehehe laugh mirroring Luffy's own when he says the line "after we beat up Kaido". Their interaction here gives off some sharing our very own little secret vibes, ngl. And my guess is that it reflects their reinforced bond from Whole Cake Island.

Quick refresher from WCI situation. Sanji tells Luffy "I didn't tell you to wait..." despite the fact he can't even face him, because he did write in his letter a lie that "he will be back". Luffy laughing again with this "heeheehee" to both Zoro and Sanji, and basically never to anyone else (again, his usual laugh sounds this way: shishishi). Luffy knows the truth in both cases (Sanji's lie and Zoro's worry), but he also did something else amazing in WCI: he mirrored Sanji's own promise with his own one "I will be back", "I made a promise". In both cases, after my analysis, I came to the conclusion that both Luffy and Sanji meant specific people with their promises, but have real trouble admitting it outloud. This laugh became their little secret sign that it's okay, I know what you mean even if you don't say it. And in Wano episode they do it again. What's the secret message this time? It actually didn't change. By laughing and talking about beating Kaido Luffy actually means the person he's beating Kaido for. Momo? Kinemon? You think? Nah, the deal was made before Kin or Momo were even part of the picture. It was because of alliance with Law of course. And yes, I think the animator behind this Wano episode saw the same secret communication I saw as well between Luffy-Sanji-Zoro and this episode is 100% refering to that, lol. Ngl, feels good that someone else picked up on it too.

And then we have Nami, who also seems to understand, braves herself and scolds Luffy (which surprises Usopp, he can tell she's faking it lol). Whether she gets the secret message doesn't matter, though I'm sure if she got it she would think it was to be expected and "very much like Luffy". Usopp can definitely tell something's oddly special about this too (his eyes dart scrutinizing from Nami to Sanji to Zoro, all the people who always "can tell what's up"), but he didn't pinpoint the reason himself yet. He will probably realize it only muuuch much later, but he gathered the pieces for now. Robin is an enigma like always, Chopper is clueless (also like always), Franky probably just doesn't mind (he was the one reminding Luffy to stay undercover in Dressrosa so he can be the responsible one when needed, so why would he mind it here. The reason provided by Luffy was probably 100% enough for him), Brook keeps his thoughts to himself (I'm sure he knows though lol), and Jimbei complies. Tbh the latter has no reason to complain, he *was* extremely late to the raid anyway. But it's very lovely that they ask him to be the one to make the final decision, because the shared drinks was to welcome him! He makes sure to be the first one to follow through with Luffy's gesture and everyone joins in.

Even though they delayed it (kinda indefinitely, curiously enough), this scene makes it look like even just putting the mugs down is already partial celebration, which is pretty wholesome.

And it all ends with this shot, just before the "to be continued" screen, which makes a perfect scene rendition and end of the episode, and also something often being recalled to later on in the anime, even in the endings, suggesting the circle, despite looking complete, seems to be waiting for continuation, just like the "tbc" screen spells it.

From this point on, this post enters the headcanon/speculation territory, so please keep it in mind or skip it if you're not interested! There won't be anything new in the analysis after this, as I'm finishing this post with that.

You know what's great about One Piece's storytelling, right? The parallels. How about we parallel this ending frame to the one from the very beginning of the same episode then? :D It's actually a shot of Onigashima island but we see that also right before the mugs were placed down, so okay, we can see common theme here. So what's the very next scene?

Law looking towards both Onigashima and the torii gate Luffy will ransack later on in this same episode, the very same place they're supposed to celebrate Jimbei joining the crew. The very same celebration Polar Tang with Kinemon in front of it interrupted :) do you see the full picture?

"I want to celebrate it with everyone" says Luffy. Law's name doesn't get mentioned, but he is definitely part of the "everyone". Maybe even a very special part of it, if this little parallel is anything to go by.

I think Luffy is waiting for Law to join the crew, which is why the celebration and the numbered chapter with Jimbei's number is still on hold. Maybe even the numbered chapter will be a joined one (both for Jimbei and Law), just like it was for Usopp and Franky in Water 7. It won't happen in Wano though, not that we know of at least. "But Law has his own crew!!!" Funny you mention that, Jimbei used to be a captain of his own crew of Sun Pirates as well, that didn't stop Luffy nor anyone else from recruiting him. "But he loves Heart Pirates!!" do you suggest Jimbei didn't love Sun Pirates??? "But Law will never serve under Luffy!!" Please, that's never how it worked in Strawhats either. No one is Luffy's subordinate! In fact, I don't think you can find any other crew that is as equal as his. Even Law's own crew has more hierarchy going on. But let's put all those doubts aside, because this is honestly not the place for it.

Let's focus instead on Luffy's decision: that Law is gonna be his crewmate, because That Actually Happened and it's canon. It all started in Punk Hazard, Luffy called alliance with Law as "it's something like being friends!". In Dressrosa, that already grew into "He's my crewmate!" (told to Cavendish to prevent him from trying to harm Law, but we all know Luffy, he would never toss those words like that if he didn't actually believe them himself). And now, in Wano, Luffy looks after Polar Tang and that makes him put his mug away. They're not a complete crew yet, someone is missing and Luffy wants to do it properly. Luffy decided to wait till Law is ready. That's how I see this.

But Law refused him twice already! He said in Dressrosa he's not Luffy's crewmate, he protested in Zou when Luffy declared alliance is friendship! Double refusal! Yeah, he did that, even though second example wasn't about Luffy's friendship in particular that he protested against, just Luffy's definition of the alliance concept (ffs Law they warned you. Usopp and Sanji both warned you! You deserve every single second of this suffering lol). And yes, in Dressrosa he clearly denied, but Luffy also never asked him, just made a declaration on his own. Without a question, there's no refusal that he will take into account. And even if there was a question, Luffy often decides on his own and pursues someone he chose relentlessly. He did it with Nami before (following her to Arlong Park), Zoro, Usopp, Sanji (how many times did Sanji manage to refuse Luffy? it barely fazed the latter), Chopper, Robin (Water 7/Enies Lobby situation), Franky (it was prompted, but still counts), Brook (remember? he also refused Luffy despite initial agreement), and Jimbei (how many arcs did Luffy chase after Jimbei again? since Fishmen Island till Wano, huh). You see the pattern? I gotta say Law fits 100% into it, lol.

This time though, Luffy doesn't ask Law directly himself. Would Law have it in him to blatantly refuse if he was asked directly to join instead of "assumed to be part of the crew"? Seeing how bad Law is at refusing Luffy anything much at all, even a stare or some attention, I'm thinking he would have a really hard time if Luffy put him in such position and Asked The Question To His Face.

Luffy doesn't do it though, not that we know of. Interesting, considering Luffy usually wouldn't hold back and chases after people relentlessly. Maybe he wants Law to be the one to declare it instead of putting him on the spot? He does respect him a crazy amount, after all. But damn, that would be a first time Luffy is holding back so much. Also, everything that happened post Sabaody? Actually happened because of Law's own intiative. He chose Luffy for the alliance, he saved his life in Marineford, he sticked with him in Dressrosa despite his plan getting trampled and stomped on multiple times, his steel resolve to die together with Luffy if he fails is impressive, he also waits for Luffy in Wano and doesn't betray him despite perfect circumenstances for it just before the raid. Law always chooses Luffy. I wouldn't be surprised if Luffy thinks Law will choose him yet again, to finally join him. He also happens to be probably one of the only people in whole OP world who chose Luffy over and over again instead of Luffy actively chasing after him, like he did with each of his current crewmates.

By the end of Wano Luffy will get his "biggest feast". Jimbei stays in the castle though instead of going to the town to celebrate with the rest, so his "joining the crew" drinking party is still postponed and didn't happen then either. He did drink after Egghead with everyone, but seems that's not the "right moment" yet. The anime ending of Egghead still shows the scene with 10 mugs, reminding us we're still waiting for continuation too.

Here's the clip of most of the scene of ditching the mugs, if you prefer it in more dynamic form. Sadly no subs. Please notice the scene rendition of Oden's stomping the ground and it sharing the sound with how Luffy puts down his mug. And how Luffy's singing gets interrupted by Kinemon's apology as Polar Tang presses forward. Kinemon there stands for Law, but Law would not apologize here haha. The same way Kinemon stands for Oden and Oden stands for Luffy, the scene renditions are "passing on" the inherited will forward. And who does Oden follow? Most likely Joyboy, Oden wanted to open the country to welcome him. In this scene multiple characters stand for Joyboy who isn't present himself, but he's everywhere, thanks to the characters following Oden's will. It's later emphasized when Yamato says he's been waiting for Luffy, but the underlined stomping in the scene suggests, yet again, that Yamato was waiting for Joyboy (the same way Oden was) and thought Luffy would be him. It's all in the subtext.

But, the first one to start this "passing on" in the raid, was Law, whether he's aware of it or not doesn't even seem to matter for the gears to turn. He also lifted up samurais in his Polar Tang at the very beginning, rescuing them in similar way to Oden: Law elevates them from the stormy waters, while Oden holds them above the pot in his execution.

Also artistically it's absolutely stunning scene and I just wanted to appreciate it again ❤

This marks the end of this part of the analysis. Will I manage to end Wano in the next one? Not sure tbh haha. Might take two more posts! Sorry for slower pace in updates, but this takes so much more work to do than just copy-pasting manga panels alone, eh. It's still fun though, I hope :)

#one piece #trafalgar law #luffy #lawlu #lulawlu #luffy x law #lulaw #joyboy #love is a hurricane #the 10 mugs scene #warning: there's a slight agenda at the end LOL #though I don't think it's agenda personally #I'm just reading the context and subtext ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#LAW FOR THE STRAWHAT #going for Law as Strawhat propaganda against current trends of left and right wings in crews? YES #as much as I like the left wing right wing discourse about Zoro and Sanji and the parallels #I also think it's a bit boring if every crew is supposed to follow this pattern and be perfect copypastes of each other #Whitebeard or Blackbeard don't seem to have right or left wings either tho that might change who knows #and let me quote Oda here from SBS “if I were to describe the Straw Hat Crew with a yoji-jukugo (4 kanjis phrases)#I'd say... Zendai mimon (unprecedented/unheard of) would do it. That one came up in Enies Lobby.#I hope they'll always be the crew that's breaking the mold."#and to stir the pot a bit more... what about Roger and Whitebeard? Those two adored each other but never were on one crew either #I will just let Oda surprise us and in the meanwhile I will just have fun reading the subtexts lol

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xylatox · 12 hours ago

Text

Another fic from Nina! And a lovely way to round off the Valentine event :))) I'm so looking forward to this fic!

Before I even started I read humour as horror (forgive my brain it loves to misread) and my heart deadass dropped LOL, unti my thoughts though :).

and each time, the quiet whispers of pity behind your back only grew louder. of course, you heard the hushed “shh, don't be so loud” that meant to show care—you had stopped paying attention to it long ago.— this breaks my heart, genuinely but reader is so real to stop pay attention to them. my heart further hurts that reader's soulmate bond feels like a complicated entanglement.

you looked up at soobin—another one of your colleagues, but not annoying one— and pressed your lips into a thin line. “i’m fine. please don’t join them in looking at me like i need pity, i beg you.” — I already love reader's bond with Soobin, like is absolutely adorable.

you shook your head, giving him that ‘are you serious?’ look. “soob, don’t start. you haven’t met them because you either work or play league." — LMFAO Soobin and I are the same, league really does just take up the time yknow.

Yeonjun and reader's first interaction:(( my heart, like—yeonjun froze. he hadn’t thought about it at all. it was almost funny—how he, the one who had that confident, almost intimidating aura, had somehow managed to make himself look like a complete idiot in front of his nice neighbour. not only had he lost his keys, but he also couldn’t think thirty minutes ahead. usually, he didn’t care much about what people thought of him, but he still expected himself to feel ashamed now. but he wasn’t. somehow, it felt like you wouldn’t see him that way—probably because you were just as awkward.— this has me smiling like an absolute idiot. Their banter is also super cute :( like eventhough they just met it's so casual yknow :((

he made a face, which was ten times funnier with his stuffed cheeks. “absolutely no,” yeonjun announced as he finally managed to swallow. “like, absolutely. you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. you just shrugged, your face sly, and he made an expression of pure horror. “don’t tell me—i can’t believe i’m living next door to a psychopath! were you lulling my vigilance for the past hours just to hit me with this news?”— justice for people who love pineapple on pizza 😞. Again to say, Nina, I absolutely love the way you managed to flow the conversation so easily.

you scrunched your nose. “nope. but don’t tell me it’s a yes from you,” you warned jokingly and he smirked in response. “and you dared to call me a psychopath?! you? a mint chocolate ice cream lover?” it was getting harder and harder to keep your laugh inside, especially as he kept on laughing himself, but you tried to do your best. “i’ll be much more careful while leaving home now.”— and justice for the mint choco icecream lovers too :(((

it felt like he was everywhere, coating every inch of your body; pain, just like honey, glazing every nerve—you could feel him tugging your hair, fist firm against the back of your head, could feel his fingertips sinking into the flesh of your thighs, craving to leave marks on you—you prayed they did—and his nails digging into your skin as he ran his hand down, leaving trails along your legs—just as burning and sweet as melted chocolate.— this is so absolutely insane oh my goodness. The entire dream was so insane?????screaming??? AND THE FACT THAT YEONJUN WENT THROUGG THE SAME THING?????? Oh. my. god.

The nickname for reader is so cute????I'm going to throw up. I love that Jun was able to free up his time for reader too, like thats so cute.

“baby,” he whispered, trying to lift your arms, but you only tried to wrap them around him, desperate for even a bit of his warmth. “we need to lower your temperature. please, let me take this off.”—I'm going to scream oh my god.

The way he took care of her, their marks, I'm so soft and :((.

This is the end if part 1, unto the next hehe :)) Nina, your writing is amazing.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ . ⠀wild roses | chapter 1 ; the roots

⠀⠀⠀neighbour!yeonjun x fem!reader

♡ you're here ♡ | to chapter 2 →

genre ; soulmate au, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, humour, smut wordcount ; 17.5k

warnings | tags ; unhealthy relationship with pain [mentions of self-inflicted pain]; yeonjun does some kinda questionable stuff; a bit of self-hate and self-pity.

smut warnings ; dom + soft sadist yeonjun x sub + soft masochist reader. wet dreams, heavily based on pain kink [choking, marking, spanking and so on]; male masturbation.

✉ notes ; oh wow... my first collaboration event ever and it was AWESOME. the idea was just incredible and i'm honoured to be a part of the event and write for the idea. i want to thank each one of beautiful talented moa who took part in the event, please-please-please, read other event fics, all of them are wonderful

i got a tiny bit carried away, so there are going to be two more parts. that just... happened. i was possesed

⠀⠀⠀[ event masterlist | my masterlist | wild roses masterlist ]

it felt like a cruel joke of fate, destiny, the universe or whatever force might be pulling the strings of your life. you were sure you could post an advertisement for your services—“spend a few days with me and find your soulmate. 100% guarantee”, because yet another one of your colleagues had returned from her vacation particularly glowing—she had met her, her soulmate, the one she had been waiting for her whole life.

she couldn't keep quiet about it, and you couldn't blame her, despite the tiny, bitter part of your mind whispering that you were a lucky charm for everyone else, leaving yourself with nothing but emptiness and heartbreak. you'd only been working here for a year, and four of your colleagues had found their soulmates before your very eyes—five, including the one who had announced it today—and each time, the quiet whispers of pity behind your back only grew louder. of course, you heard the hushed “shh, don't be so loud” that meant to show care—you had stopped paying attention to it long ago.

the bond you had once shared with your soulmate was a complicated one, tangled in endless conditions and rules, most of them uncertain, suspended between truth and myth. it had already felt impossible to navigate it, while you still had it, but now, when it was broken for years, finding them felt like a distant dream. you weren't even sure if they were still alive, if you were being honest, but thinking about it unsettled you to the point of near-physical pain, so you chose not to think about them at all.

your mind sometimes thought differently, though, keeping you awake until early morning and haunting you with visions of you staying alone until your last days. on those days you’d find yourself deleting your browser history in shame and embarrassment on your way to work—“would you know if your soulmate had died”, “is it possible to get another soulmate”, “is it possible to have more than one soulmate”, “wild rose bond”. you hated those nights and the days that followed, because your brain wouldn't stop overanalyzing everything you'd read, twisting every possibility into something even more unbearable—hope.

but more than anything, you feared returning to the dark months after you had felt your soulmate for the last time. looking back, you wondered if their heartbreak had somehow resonated with your own—the one that had started just a few hours before. you had felt a faint sensation of nails dragging down your back from your shoulder blades, as if someone was scratching at your skin with their nails, but it wasn't your back, it was their back. you had thought you were devastated then, but a few hours later, when the real weight of it hit, you felt like you couldn't breathe anymore, and it wasn't your pain.

all of it plunged you into what was probably the darkest period of your life, making you realize how truly ugly your bond was, because it was either an endless cycle of intensifying pain—feeding off your soulmate’s suffering and giving it right back to them until it returned to you—or nothing at all. and when you woke up empty, feeling nothing foreign that had become an important part of you over the years, it was as if you had lost the constant touch of a lover. even if that touch had only ever caused pain, you still tried to get it back.

you didn't know if you were trying to get your soulmate to respond to you, or if, in some twisted way, you were just to mimic the pain they had once caused you—desperate for anything that might keep you from feeling so utterly alone. but it never worked—they never replied and you never felt any relief.

and now you felt yourself slowly sinking into that darkness again—the more happy stories told behind your back you heard, the stronger the itch in your fingers became. what if—just a tiny what if—they would reply to you if you pinched your arm just a little? what if they pinched back? what if you could finally do something you had wished for years you had done earlier—agree to meet somewhere through morse code? the sickening feeling of hope was so much worse than that mutual heartbreak had ever been.

you shook your head—no. the “unbreakable bond” that was supposed to never fade—not by time, not even by death—was broken, and the was nothing you could do about it. maybe some people were simply meant to stay alone, and maybe you were one of them. so what? surely, you weren't the only unlucky one like that, there was no way everyone in this world had a person they were destined to live and die with. after all, you could be your own soulmate—at least that bond would never shatter.

the overly confident thoughts, which felt more like bravado than anything sincere even to you, took up all your attention, and you reached out for your coffee cup, completely forgetting it was still too hot. the burn on the pads of your fingers made you wince, a quiet "shit" slipping past your lips—all these existential crisis thoughts, that were creeping in more and more often recently, were making you a bit too careless, and that was a dangerous match to the way you were starting to perceive pain. again.

“you okay?”

he smiled and shook his head. “wasn’t going to. you’re overthinking it, you know?” he glanced over your shoulder at the suddenly quiet, happy circle before returning his gaze to you. “well… you’re overthinking my behavior, i guess…”

you sighed—of course. “they’re looking, aren’t they?” he replied with a tiny nod, making you bury your face in your hands. “with pity?” you mumbled, your words muffled.

“yeah…” he admitted, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. he wasn’t one to enjoy much attention, but sitting across from you left him no choice when their conversations inevitably turned to soulmates. “hey,” he tried to get your attention, holding out his paper cup to you over both of your monitors. “it’s the same as yours, but not as hot anymore. haven’t drunk it either.”

the man was a savior sometimes. you took his cup, giving him yours. “thanks. what would i do without you?”

“drown in pity gazes and whispers?”

you laughed. “most probably.”

he smiled at you, glad that your face was no longer painted with ridiculously funny determination he knew you faked—trying to make yourself believe it—and got back to work, mirroring you.

but you had trouble focusing on your work anyway, and the worst part was your boss, who kept throwing worried glances at you whenever he passed by—it felt like a few more found soulmates in your branch, and he'd start asking if you wanted to take a day off or work from home for a few days whenever someone said. after all, whenever someone announced—because it was impossible to keep it inside—that they had found their soulmate, he always reacted the same way.

you already had the ick from the word—soulmates this, soulmates that. all those “don't worry, you're still young” reassurances coming from people you had met maybe three times in your life while making yourself a coffee in the office kitchen. it wasn't even about your age—though there were countless depressing myths about soulmates and age, especially when it came to wild roses—it was about the nature of the bond itself that made people pity you.

you had no idea why in the world they cared about their colleague—nothing more!—finding or not finding their soulmate. and worse, you'd never told anyone about your lack of one, nor about what kind of bond you had. yet, somehow, someone must have seen your mark—which wasn't too hard to notice, but the situation had to be very specific for anyone to actually see it—and now people knew about it before they had even met you, the rumours about you entering the room first.

as if that wasn’t bad enough, at some point, they started matchmaking you with any soulmate-less new colleague. you were still sure those glances at you interacting with soobin meant something, just because he didn’t have a soulmate either. it was funny how they barely cared that he wasn't a wild rose—and you didn't even question how they never seemed to care about what the two of you actually thought of it, just being two introverts in an office full of extroverts.

but soobin was nice enough not to care about it and was basically the only person here you talked to about something other than work, and you were thankful he was there for you without trying to assure you that you were still young and that your soulmate was still out there somewhere. he knew everything that had happened around your bond and understood that wild roses didn’t have it easy, so he never bothered you by feeding the hope you kept buried deep inside.

“you know…” soobin started while you two were packing up to go home—you both started your workdays half an hour later than everyone else, meaning you stayed half an hour after everyone left, which was basically the reason for shifting your work hours in the first place. “i haven’t met my soulmate either, and…”

you shook your head, giving him that ‘are you serious?’ look. “soob, don’t start. you haven’t met them because you either work or play league.”

soobin laughed, nodding. “you’re right. but i just wanted to say that soulmate or no soulmate, it doesn’t define you—or anyone—as a person,” he smiled reassuringly, grabbing both of your jackets and handing you yours. “you’re perfectly complete without someone who was chosen for you by something unknown.”

you nodded, biting your lip and fidgeting with the pull on your jacket. he always knew what to say, and it was always sincere—probably, because he was in the same situation as you, but with a completely different perspective on it. soobin seemed much more mature than you could even hope to be. no—you pushed these thoughts away. you weren’t going to pity yourself. he was right—it made no sense.

“thanks, soob. you always know the right words.”

he smiled. “i could say i’ve been there, but i think they bother me much less about not having a soulmate,” he scratched the back of his head in thought. “male advantage?” he assumed, and you both laughed—maybe it really was male advantage. “keep you company on your way home?”

you shook your head, checking the time. “you won’t be home by seven if you do,” you patted his shoulder, and he tilted his head in question. “it’s thursday. your league-i-promise-she-is-just-a-friend will be waiting for you,” you sing-songed, making him press his lips together in an attempt to hide his smile—a failing attempt—and you couldn’t help but mirror it.

soobin opened his mouth to tell you something, but it seemed like every thought he had about his “just friend” only made his smile grow bigger and harder to hide, so in the end he just shook his head with a shy but obviously happy smile. “okay. you sure you'll be fine?”

you nodded, giving him a quick goodbye hug. “completely. be safe too. and don't stay up too late!” you waved before turning around. soobin was a nice guy and deserved all the happiness in the world—you hoped things with his “just friend” would work out, whether she was his soulmate or not.

still, your head felt like a too-crowded beehive, a dozen thoughts overlapping each other, refusing to let you focus on any of them before stealing your attention away to another. you had a bond when you were younger. yes, now it was a distant memory that felt more like a dream—you weren’t even sure you would recall how it felt to experience someone else’s pain or discomfort, but you refused to believe you’d been imagining it for almost ten years of your life, ever since you first understood that some feelings weren’t caused by yourself.

and that connection… it was supposed to be unbreakable, because it was one of the strongest bonds between soulmates—it was based on pain. you could never stop experiencing it, even if it happened rarely, you would still burn your tongue on tea from time to time or hit your elbow in just that spot, and your soulmate would feel it, just as you would feel their pain—there was no way to break it. that’s what you thought, at least—before it was broken.

these thoughts kept looping in your head, all the information you had read about the bond between wild roses throughout your life swirling in your mind, as if you hadn’t already gone over it hundreds of times, trying to find something you had overlooked—something that could solve the problem you had. but that kind of connection was surrounded by chaos of myths, assumptions, and lies from people pretending to be wild roses. you could never know what was true unless you experienced it yourself and, preferably, discussed it with the other end of the bond.

and you weren’t even sure of what you had gone through yourself, because you had no idea what your soulmate had done for you to mirror their pain more intensely. it was believed that the strength of the pain you felt from your soulmate grew with distance, and you assumed that, a few years before the heartbreak and the breaking of your connection, they had moved far away from where you were—probably another side of the world. the faint touch of guitar strings on the tips of your fingers had become cruel, invisible marks and calluses, awakening a habit of scratching the pads of your fingers with your nails, trying to get rid of the sensation. the habit stayed—but because you missed the way it felt now.

the quiet ding of the elevator pulled you out of your thoughts, even through your earbuds. you opened the case, carefully placing each one inside while waiting for the doors to open, and your soul almost left your body when they did, hand flying to your chest to calm your racing heart—a man was sitting on the floor, headphones on his head, too immersed in something on his phone to notice you.

you knew the man—he was your neighbour, but you had never really talked to him, so you weren’t exactly sure how to get his attention, especially since he was wearing headphones. so you stood in front of him like a complete weirdo, looking down at him, your brain still not fully functioning after a busy workday that was made worse by your overthinking.

but you didn’t have to do anything—he noticed you almost immediately, looking up and quickly standing, pushing his headphones down to his neck. “oh! hey. don’t be freaked out, please,” he said, holding out his hand for a handshake. you hesitantly took it, shaking uncertainly—his hand felt… nice. “i’m your neighbour from—”

“apartment 139, yeah…,” you finished for him slowly, your hand still in his, now just held. “just across the hall. i see you sometimes, but you never greet back, always wearing headphones,” you shrugged—it wasn’t a big deal. he never seemed rude, more like he was always in his head, his hands and head making little weird moves, so you assumed he was dancing to the music in his headphones, the outside world forgotten.

“oh…” he pulled his hand away and ran his fingers through his hair. “i’m sorry. i tend to get too into my work sometimes, not noticing anything or anyone around.”

you shrugged again, pulling your keys from your pocket, the bunch of keychains jingling softly. “it’s fine. just be careful on the streets. sometimes drivers are…” you scrunched your nose, and he chuckled. “reckless? some make me wonder if anyone can just go and buy a driver’s license now, without even graduating from elementary school, where they give you basic knowledge on traffic rules.”

he looked at you with an amused smile, and you mentally slapped yourself—it was your first conversation, and you were already burdening him with the grumpiness of a ninety-year-old lady no one liked. no wonder your soulmate had broken the bond even before meeting you, the thought made you smile mentally despite how bitter it actually was—it was a good joke. you made a note to repeat it to soobin tomorrow when telling him about encountering your neighbour.

but he only laughed, nodding a few times. “i see where you’re coming from. you can never be too careful when it comes to traffic,” he adjusted his headphones, turning them to rest on his collarbones with the ear pads facing in, and your gaze fell to the bare skin of his upper chest for a brief moment, making you involuntarily touch the tight collar of your t-shirt.

“so…” you fidgeted with the strap of your bag nervously—small talk was nice and, dare you to say, comfortable, especially considering you'd never talked to him before, but he couldn't be sitting here for no reason, could he? “what happened?.. i mean, why were you sitting here?”

“oh! right,” he cleared throat. “i lost my keys. i was going to call for locksmith services, but i don't want to lockpick the door to the corridor,” he paused, because it suddenly started sounding stupid, but shook his head—too late to rethink it now. “so i was waiting for someone to open it.”

you nodded a few times, and he let out a breath—at least you weren't looking at him like he was a complete idiot, and he certainly felt like one. you simply took the key and opened the door to the corridor, letting him in before locking it behind you—he thought that he probably should've been nicer to you instead of just giving a tiny nod as a greeting once every few weeks, which, as it turned out, you didn’t even notice.

he dialed the locksmith service, throwing glances at you as you unlocked your door. he noticed you pause, your key still in the lock, fingers rubbing it nervously as you stared at it, seemingly lost in thought. he wanted to ask you if everything was okay, but the moment he opened his mouth, a man on the other end of the phone line introduced himself and asked how he could help.

you glanced at your neighbour as he turned away, still on his phone, his hand rubbing the back of his head. eavesdropping wasn’t good, but you wondered—if the locksmith was going to take some time to arrive, maybe he’d need a place to wait? you could invite him in… he seemed like a nice person, so— you shook your head, he’d probably prefer to wait at the convenience store across the street. with that, you pulled the key out and opened the door.

“at least half an hour?” he asked, checking the watch before chuckled. “of course. not like i have any other choice,” he listened to whatever the person on the other end was saying before nodding. “yes, five minutes is fine. thank you,” the ‘beep’ of the ended call was almost loud in the empty corridor as he turned to look at you, still standing by your ajar door. “thank you. really,” he smiled warmly. “i’m yeonjun, by the way. it was nice to meet you.”

“[ yn ]...” you replied quietly, still debating whether you should invite him in—half an hour seemed long, but then again, sometimes waiting for an elevator to arrive could take five whole minutes. if he was unlucky, he’d only have time to buy something at the convenience store before having to come right back. no, you thought. don’t be stupid. “it was nice to meet you too,” you almost shut your front door when you realized how much of an idiot you were—just a few minutes ago you basically locked him in the corridor. “wait.”

“huh?” yeonjun looked up from his phone, confused. ‘wait’ for what?.. not like he had anywhere to go right now.

you grabbed the spare key to the corridor door from the key rack and walked up to him, holding it out. “here. you lost yours, and i have a spare one, so you can take it,” you felt so stupid, but it was too late to back out now. “for now or til you get a new one or… or you can keep it,” you finished quietly, each word sounding worse than the last.

yeonjun smiled and shook his head. “i have another one at home, don’t worry. i won’t need it until then anyway, i was going to wait here.”

you pressed your lips together, cheeks burning, before asking quietly. “how would a locksmith get inside here?..”

yeonjun froze. he hadn’t thought about it at all. it was almost funny—how he, the one who had that confident, almost intimidating aura, had somehow managed to make himself look like a complete idiot in front of his nice neighbour. not only had he lost his keys, but he also couldn’t think thirty minutes ahead. usually, he didn’t care much about what people thought of him, but he still expected himself to feel ashamed now. but he wasn’t. somehow, it felt like you wouldn’t see him that way—probably because you were just as awkward.

he took the key from your hand, the little rose keychain getting his attention, as its tiny silver thorns nestled against his skin. yeonjun looked up at you, puzzled—a rose keychain wasn’t strange on its own, he had seen countless of them, but most didn’t have a stem, let alone thorns. he felt his heart skip a beat—the small silver trinket reminded him of a part of himself that he tried to ignore. you only shook your head, though, clearly telling him to not pay any attention to it. but he still didn’t like coincidences like that one.

you nodded goodbye to him one more time and had already turned away before pausing and biting your lip. “look,” you said before you could stop yourself, turning back to face him. the worst thing that could happen? he would decline, and things between you two would get awkward. but—if you were honest—what things? there were no ‘things’ between you two. you took a deep breath. “you can wait for the locksmith at my place, if you want. it’s warm, and you wouldn’t have to sit on the floor or stand for half an hour. if you want.”

it was inviting. it sounded really nice, actually. yeonjun already felt like his butt was as flat as the floor he’d been sitting on for an hour before you appeared and saved him from what he jokingly thought of as flat-butt disease. but you had just met—neighbours or not—and even though he knew he had no ill intentions, he wasn’t sure you felt the same way. making you feel uncomfortable or, worse, unsafe in your own home was the last thing he wanted. “are you sure it'd be fine? we just learned each other's names a few minutes ago.”

“well…” you frowned and tilted your head—what kind of things was he thinking about? “yes?.. i mean, do you have any… bad intentions?”

yeonjun was taken aback by your question. “um, no?” oh god, pull yourself together, yeonjun! why do you sound so unsure? he cleared his throat and repeated more firmly. “of course, not. but… is that it? you're just going to believe my ‘no’ and let me in?”

you took a few steps toward your door, glad to see him following you. “yep?.. do you really think maniacs would ask in the first place?” you asked him, opening the door and stepping aside to let him in.

yeonjun glanced at you, narrowing his eyes. “do you really think maniacs would just say ‘yeah, of course, i have all the bad intentions in the world’? it sounds…” he tapped his chin, pretending to think. “naïve?”

“yeah? then why would you put these thoughts into my head? sounds like you’re giving me a lesson on how to spot a maniac,” you said, hanging your jacket on the coat rack and pointing at the free hook next to it. yeonjun immediately got the hint and hung his jacket there too, without letting either of you get distracted from the conversation. “so—” you glanced down at his shoes. “i can give you slippers, if you want. brand new. still unpacked even,” you added, waiting for his nod and little ‘thanks’ before continuing. “so. why would one of them do it? give me a lesson on it, i mean.”

yeonjun let out an exaggerated, dramatic sigh. “to lull your vigilance, of course. to make you ask yourself exactly that question and come up with an answer that it doesn't make any sense for a maniac to explain things like that, so it can only mean that this person isn't one,” he ‘explained’, waiting for you to take your shoes off and walk further into the apartment before crouching down to untie his sneakers—he didn’t want to risk making you feel uncomfortable, like he was looking up your skirt.

“ah, really?” you held the slippers out to him. “why would you—or maniac—tell me that, then? why give further explanation?” you asked, waiting for him to put the slippers on and grab his bag before leading him toward the kitchen. you were enjoying this conversation a lot. maybe even a bit too much, but who cared? “no, no, no, let me answer it myself. to lull my vigilance?”

“exactly!” yeonjun sat down on the bar stool, his smile wide—not because you got something ‘right’ in that silly little banter, but because it felt so comfortable. he couldn't believe you two had never talked before, given how easy it seemed for both of you. “the same thing, but a bit more layered.”

“wow, you seem like a really thought-out maniac, yeonjun. just piling on layers to lull my vigilance,” you sighed in exaggerated awe, pressing a hand to your chest with a little bow of your head. “it's an honour.”

“well,” he shrugged nonchalantly, straightening his back in mock pride. “just doing my best at everything, you know?”

you let out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. he was… cute. funny too, and so easy to talk to—it felt like you had known him your whole life but had just forgotten. it wasn't unusual for you to get loud or talkative, but you usually needed more time to get used to someone before feeling comfortable enough to do so—much more time. but it wasn't like that with yeonjun; he made you feel at ease around him almost immediately. you assumed it was his confident aura that didn't waver even when he was being playful or silly. that level of confidence, unspoiled by arrogance, was truly admirable.

you bit your lip, though—you weren't sure how to reply, but you gaze fell on the coffee machine. “do you want something to drink, by the way?..” you asked, washing your hands in the kitchen sink. “i don't actually have too many bottled drinks, but i have a coffee machine, ice and a bunch of syrups, or i can make you tea.”

it actually sounded tempting. yeonjun still had a bit of his coffee when he left the elevator on this floor and realized he had lost his keys, but that was long gone. he hadn’t risked leaving the spot to buy something to drink, afraid someone would come home while he was away, so now he was pretty much thirsty. but he wasn’t sure if he preferred burdening you over just waiting for half an hour, so he shook his head.

“no, thank you. but… do you mind if i wash my hands?” yeonjun asked, getting up and rubbing his palms on his jeans. and then what? what was he going to do when he came back after washing his hands? he wasn't socially awkward, but staying with a barely-not-a-stranger in a small space with no one else around—and no alcohol to loosen the atmosphere? he should've just agreed to the coffee to make things a bit less awkward for both of you—he doubted you'd eat or drink something while he was just sitting there. was it too late to say he'd changed his mind?

“oh! kitchen sink or…” you walked out of the kitchen and he followed you, standing next to the kitchen door in the hall. you pointed at a door. “the bathroom is the only door to the right. a small gray towel on the towel rail is for hands, and…” you turned your head to look at him, still leaning on the door frame with the front of your shoulder. “i can bring you another towel if you want to rinse your face or anything. it was washed and dried that morning, so you can be sure it wasn't used.”

yeonjun blinked a few times, looking at you, his mind completely blank—he couldn't even find the words to describe how… adorably weird everything you were doing and saying was. why would you ask him if he wanted to wash his face? it was fine and clean—he had checked in the mirror by the door when he entered out of habit—but you were still unbelievably nice, offering another towel in case he wanted to do it. it felt like the thoughts in your head were completely random, yet it was interesting that you weren't afraid to say them out loud.

“no, thanks. just hands,” yeonjun said, giving you a small smile before following the direction you had pointed to.

you watched him shut the door before turning back to the kitchen—it wasn't that you felt like you had to keep an eye on him, making sure he didn't wander somewhere he wasn’t supposed to, it was just somehow he already occupied your thoughts, and you only snapped out of it when he disappeared behind the door. but as you sat at the bar table, your overthinking started again. everything was… weird. good, but still weird. you’d never met someone you clicked with this quickly, and it felt almost… suspicious.

you threw a glance toward the bathroom as if you could see through walls, before shaking your head—you had been overthinking too much lately. if you were honest, you always did. maybe it was time to stop thinking and just… be? just accept that you had met someone you felt comfortable with immediately, without questioning it? making new friends—ever heard of it? you thought. yep. it was time to just live your life without looking back at any soulmate issues—past, present, or future.

yeonjun found you with a strangely determined expression on your face and chuckled to himself. he liked that you were like an ajar book—not fully open yet, but easy enough for him to read at least your basic emotion, and it also seemed like you weren’t trying too hard to hide them either. he thought that maybe he should be just as honest.

he cleared his throat, getting your attention. “i know i said no,” he started when you looked up at him, all your focus on him immediately, “but i think i’d actually like something to drink,” yeonjun admitted, watching you standing up immediately to start preparing something, but he was quick to reassure you. “water would be fine, though.”

you paused, hand on the cupboard, looking at him. “water would be ‘fine’ or ‘preferred’?..” you asked, unsure if it sounded too blunt—you didn’t want to sound pushy or impolite, but you could make him something specific, if he wanted. it wasn’t a problem.

yeonjun hesitated, but admitted nevertheless. “to be honest, i wouldn't say no to some tea. i guess it's a bit too late for an americano,” he smiled warmly, sitting back where he was sitting before, his eyes following your movements.

he was surprised to see how excited you got, reaching for a box on the top shelf, standing on your tiptoes, the tips of your fingers trying to grab it. he had to almost force himself to stay where he was, resisting the urge to rush over and help you—the scene inside his head immediately played out in slow motion, filmed in third-person with a random lyrical song and that weird corner-whitening effect they always used in dramas for moments like this. he cringed at the thought.

yeonjun still kept an eye on you in case you asked for help or needed it if everything started tumbling down, but you successfully won that round against heights and gravity, placing the now-open box in front of him. it was filled with different colourful foil bags—he was sure anyone would find something they liked here.

“you can choose any you want,” you said, grabbing the kettle to fill it with water the moment he nodded and started going through the box. you turned the kettle on and were about to sit back down when you suddenly realized you were still wearing your office clothes. “do you mind if i go change?..” you asked hesitantly, but yeonjun only nodded.

“of course. i promise to behave,” he lifted his hands in mock surrender, smiling—and making you smile back—before you disappeared around the corner, and he returned to choosing tea, wondering which one both of you would like.

you tried to change quickly, not wanting to make yeonjun wait, but you froze the moment your gaze fell on your reflection—the t-shirt you were about to put on still in your hands. a huge mark, resembling a thorned rose stem, stretched from your left collarbone down to your right ribs, crossing your chest in a jagged line, and stood out even in the dim light of your bedroom.

involuntarily, you pressed your fingers to the top thorn, right under your collarbone, as if expecting to feel it pierce the skin of your fingertips. it didn't, though—of course, it didn't—the skin felt the same as the rest, smooth and unbroken. if you didn't look at it, you wouldn't even realize it was there—you wished it was that way. ut no, you knew every detail of it. you knew the exact placement of each thorn, each uneven ridge in the stem. you knew where it started and where it ended. you could draw it with your eyes closed and get every millimeter right.

the way you tugged the t-shirt on was almost harsh, the tight collar scratching your nose slightly on its way down—you just wanted to hide that reminder as soon as possible, even though you knew you couldn't keep running from it forever. one day, you would have to accept it as part of you—which it was—and stop seeing it as a reminder of your broken future, misfortune, and a cruel fate. but not today. maybe, one day, your view on it would change naturally, when the way you saw soulmates did?..

but for now, you would opt for t-shirts with tight collars and turtlenecks, whenever someone else might see you. alone? crop tops and tank tops were fine—if you tried to avoid looking at the mark—but not in public, and not in front of someone you barely knew. for many other reasons too, of course.

when you entered the kitchen again, yeonjun was almost done choosing the last kind of tea—he grabbed the foil package from the box and placed it on the table next to six others. he turned to you, a bit surprised at your precise timing, and gestured toward the table. “i chose the ones i’d like to try. the final choice is yours,” he said with a smile, leaning his back on the wall and watching you.

his choices were great. at first, you thought about suggesting that each of you make tea in your own cup to avoid drinking something you didn’t like, but all seven options were good, so you could actually brew tea in the teapot for both of you.

you took two packages and placed it closer to him. “one of these. i can't choose,” you said, turning to the kitchen counter to grab the teapot and pour hot water into it, bringing it to the table along with two cups. yeonjun handed you the tea bag that he had chosen, and you dropped it into the teapot, waiting for the tea to brew.

as yeonjun busied himself putting the packages back into the box, the kitchen fell into silence. it wasn't the tense, uncomfortable kind of silence you might expect—it was a soft one, where both of you seemed to be lost in thoughts without worrying about getting silently judged for not supporting some awkward small talk. it felt like either of you could start or continue a conversation easily whenever you wanted, so there was no need in trying to fill the air with meaningless, forced words.

you were already sipping your tea, when yeonjun's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “there’s a lot of handmade stuff,” he noted, looking at the wall to the side of you. you followed his gaze and nodded, waiting for him to continue. “a great variety too. sewing, collages, patchwork, crocheting, pressed flowers, diamond mosaic… have you done all of that?”

you nodded, taking another tiny sip—your tea was still too hot. “yep. all of these were done by me,” you said, glancing over the countless little handmade things scattered all over the wall, and it felt like you lwere looking at them from a completely different perspective than before. “but i do none of these seriously. it was… some kind of attempt to find myself,” you admitted. a failed one, you added mentally. none of these felt completely you.

“successful?” yeonjun asked, his gaze fixed on a small patchwork of a rose, the only rose work out of a dozen—it would’ve been almost cute with the pale pink flower, some parts not sewn to the canvas, giving it some volume, but, just like the keychain, this one had thorns, carefully stitched onto the dark green stem. he lifted his hand to touch them almost unintentionally, but stopped, glancing at you.

“you can touch,” you said, and he gently pressed his finger to the top thorn of the rose, making your heart skip a beat. the stem was a smaller version of the mark you had on your chest—you made it in hope it would help with accepting your hopeless soulmate situation—and it felt strange, seeing how gently and cautiously yeonjun's fingers caressed it exactly where your own fingers had been not so long ago. you shook these thoughts away, though—close stitches were just nice to touch. “but no. not successful, as you can see in variety,” you chuckled.

yeonjun hummed—your works looked neat, at least in the eyes of someone who only knew the names of some of them, so if these were some of your first works of every kind… you were impressive. “do you like roses?” he blurted out and immediately realized the question made no sense—your apartment wasn’t full of roses, he had focused on only two things just because of his own issues.

but you simply shook your head and let out a tiny, sincere laugh. “i don’t. hate them, actually,” you admitted, making him nod in acknowledgement. “i know it makes no sense that i made that one—” you threw a glance at the patchwork he had been paying so much attention to.

“no, it’s fine,” yeonjun interrupted. “i can see why you’d want to make it despite disliking roses. the picture itself is beautiful,” he said. he used to hate roses too, but he’d learned to only hate one. he caressed the length of the stem one last time, not noticing the way you swallowed thickly at his words and movements, eyes glued to his finger. he turned to you with a smile. “i have a silly question, but i assume you cross-stitched too, and i’ve always been curious about something.”

the speed with which yeonjun switched topics almost gave you whiplash, but you tried to compose yourself. “uh, yes. yes, when i was a child. not a too enjoyable activity for me, but i did.”

he tapped the pad of his finger with his nail as if imitating a needle. “do people often pierce themselves while cross-stitching?”

you tilted your head—the question wasn’t exactly weird, but it was unexpected. “i don’t think so?..” you weren’t completely sure, since you’d never really discussed it with anyone—you’d only had your own experience. “i mean, you might when you only start, but you learn to avoid it pretty quickly, and pierce your skin on accident to the point where it hurts, maybe… a few times in a few projects?”

yeonjun hummed, his thumb rubbing the pad of his pointer finger on his left hand. maybe they were just careless?.. or it wasn’t cross-stitching at all? what else could it be, then? just sewing?

you thought for a second before continuing. “but… i guess some people use their finger pad to feel the needle while piercing the fabric or canvas?..” you said, uncertain if that’s what he wanted to know or if it made any sense in general. “you know… instead of turning the canvas back and forth, you just control the needle with one finger on the back and another one in the front,” you tried to mimic the moves but it looked ridiculous. “it doesn’t really pierce the skin, but it’s technically poking your finger with a needle constantly…”

yeonjun frowned, trying to recall the feeling. “does it hurt? or is it just uncomfortable?”

but before you could reply, his phone buzzed, breaking the conversation. he threw a quick glance at the number and grabbed the phone, accepting the call hurriedly, mouthing ‘locksmith’ to you. you nodded, watching his back as he rushed to the front door, quickly tugging his sneakers on, phone pressed to his ear with his shoulder, the rose keychain attached to the corridor key dangling out of his back pocket.

you felt… weird. it was a long-forgotten feeling, so you didn’t recognize it at first, but you felt like a child whose best friend's parents had come to pick them up from kindergarten, so not only you were left without your best friend, but alone in general, because the other children had already left, and you were left to wait for your own parents. longing and disappointment were a bit too strong of words for that, but it felt like them, in that childish way.

yeonjun stopped in the middle of tying his shoe, though, listening to what the person on the other side had to say, before slowly untying his shoes and taking them off. he ended the call and turned to you, making you look at him in question.

“something happened, and they had to move me further in order…” he mumbled, sitting back, embarrassed now at the way he’d hurried to leave the table. he only wanted to deal with the locksmith as quickly as possible so he could get back and continue talking to you, but by the way you looked at him—a tiny bit like a beaten-up puppy—he realized that it looked completely opposite of that. “they said i have to wait for an hour or two. they’ll call ten minutes before arrival.”

you nodded, rubbing the edge of the cup nervously. was he going to leave, as he now had much more time to go back home from some cafe and didn’t have to stay at your place? you didn’t want him to, but at the same time… you wouldn’t be surprised.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was unsure how to show that he wanted to stay without making you feel like you had to let him stay if you didn't want to. but… food was always an option, wasn’t it? “it’s around time for dinner. are you hungry?”

“oh!” you didn’t even realize that you were hungry, too consumed by the conversation. you stood up and went to the fridge. “i can cook somethi—” you paused, your shoulders falling—it was almost empty. just some snacks, milk and an egg. you were going to go to the convenience store after changing into something more comfortable, but that lost keys situation messed it up.

yeonjun looked over your shoulder at the fridge, holding back a chuckle—a typical fridge of a bachelorette (he assumed you were one based on the way your apartment looked), his own looked exactly the same. but it actually made the situation much better. “i can order something if you want? or we can go somewhere,” he proposed. “a friendly dinner as a thank you for giving me a place to wait.”

you froze for a second—he wanted to stay? you cleared your throat. “ordering something sounds great,” you admitted, shutting the fridge and sitting back. “i’m craving pizza, to be honest.”

he smiled widely. you didn’t want him to leave—it was great. “pizza it is!” he unlocked his phone, laying it on the table between you two. “choose anything you want.”

you started scrolling through the app. “i’m the host, i’m paying…” you mumbled, adding a pizza and a drink to the order. yeonjun replied with a little ‘mhm’, turning the phone to himself. you wish, baby, he thought, choosing food for himself.

of course, you didn’t pay. yeonjun had sworn he chose the “pay on delivery” option and even took your card when the doorbell rang. his face had been so trustworthy, you didn’t think twice. but it turned out his skill at lulling your vigilance was far better than you could expected. when he walked into the kitchen carrying the pizza boxes and a plastic bag of drinks, his expression was one of absolute shock. he announced that something had gone wrong—the order was already paid for. and, of course—how could you doubt him?—he had absolutely nothing to do with it. perhaps, he suggested, some kind soul (most likely a very handsome one, he added) had paid for it instead.

yeonjun had a way to make the atmosphere around him lighter and people around him more comfortable, you didn’t have to spend too much time figuring it out. but he also seemed to be stubborn—if he wanted to do something and thought it was right, he would do it, or find a way to do it if he was told not to. and he didn’t feel any remorse for that. but at the same time it was… fine? you didn’t want to confront him about paying for pizza, because you could easily find a way to return the favour some time later. ‘later’. the word made you feel warm inside, and you pushed all the questioning thoughts aside. yes. later.

“so,” you got yeonjun’s attention and he looked up at you, his mouth full of pizza—as if he tried to push the whole slice into his mouth without biting, which was almost cute—so you continued. “pineapple on pizza. yes or no?”

you couldn’t help but laugh your heart out at his endless drama skills, and he obviously had troubles keeping up the act and not laughing too. “it’s not that bad, yeonjun. don’t be so judgy! did you know,” you pointed at him with a pizza crust before biting into it, “that sweet and sour sauce is heavily based on pineapple juice?”

yeonjun rolled his eyes dramatically. “everyone knows it, girl. but it’s different,” he made a huge accent on the last word. “okay. my turn. mint choco ice cream.”

“actually,” yeonjun tried to say it through laughter, but was completely failing. “it makes you a psychopath one more time, because mint choco is awesome! so you’re a double psychopath while i,” he pointed into his chest, “a poor victim of someone with questionable taste.”

you shook your head—you felt so full, content and comfortable now, it was almost unbelievable, but you loved it. “okay, expect a few tones of mint choco ice cream at your door as revenge for your shameless lie about paying for pizza.”

yeonjun laughed. “you don’t really understand the concept of revenge or punishment, do you?”

“invite me when you’re trying to find a way to store it, and ask me that one more time,” you stuck your tongue out at him, your cheeks already sore from laughing and smiling. “you’ll be watching it slowly melt while not being able to do anything about it, because you don’t have enough cold space.”

yeonjun pressed his hand to his chest, absolute terror all over his face. “a psychopath, no doubt… will you tie me down and feed me pineapple pizza next?” he asked, doing his best to keep his face straight.

“well, if that’s what gets you going…” you winked at him, but the ridiculousness of the exchange made you crack into a grin and laughter.

he moved a bit closer to you over the table and whispered. “really wanna know?” he winked back at you, but he was so bad at it, basically just blinking with both of his eyes, making your smile only bigger.

“okay-okay, keep it to yourself, perv,” you replied through laughter, and yeonjun moved back with a grin of a winner, grabbing another pizza slice.

talking with him was easy—he knew so much, able to continue basically any conversation, but most of them still were silly and ridiculous. you talked about everything and nothing at the same time, getting to know each other better all the while. yeonjun was a choreographer and a dance teacher. he used to be a dancer in his late teenage years, but eventually started giving lessons, making his own choreography and, well, giving lessons on his own choreography. he joked about missing the sore muscles after endless dance practices some days but always reminded himself he wasn’t that young anymore.

at some point you both somehow stumbled into a soulmate topic. it was a pure accident—you wouldn’t be able to recall how it happened or what led to it even if you tried, but you quickly changed the subject to friends, and you could swear he looked relieved for a second before composing himself. but even just a few words were enough for you two to realize that you both had some issues in that area and wandered around soulmate-less.

you barely even noticed how another hour passed, and yeonjun’s phone buzzed with a call from the locksmith. he didn’t rush to take the call that time, though, knowing it’d only mean that this tiny two-people party was over, as if the longer he would take to answer, the more time he’d get with you. but he knew it didn’t work that way, so he accepted the call and listened to the locksmith, who was saying he’d be there in ten minutes.

yeonjun ended the call, and stayed still for a second, looking at his phone screen before tapping a few times and holding it out for you. “save your number, please. or kakao id. whichever you prefer more.”

you hesitated, but he shook the phone softly to hurry you a bit, and you obeyed, taking it and typing your kakaotalk id in the “add friend” section. you paused, thinking of a way to save yourself, throwing a quick glance at yeonjun. he wasn’t so smiley and warm anymore, clearly dissatisfied—you were surprised how strongly his mood affected the atmosphere around him. or was it affecting just you?.. you typed in the safest option you could come up with—‘[ yn ], apt. 138’ —and tapped “add” before handing his phone back.

yeonjun looked at his screen, noticing the ridiculous name, small smile appearing on his face, as he quickly opened the editor and changed it to ‘little psycho’. he made sure you could see it just to witness your reaction, and he didn’t regret it a second, because you looked at him with one of the cutest angry expressions he had ever seen—your lips in a small pout and brows frowned.

“i’ll save you as ‘mr. maniac’ then,” you stated, but it only made him smile. you realized you were happy to make him smile and be the reason why he stopped being a thundercloud with tiny lightnings all around him—even if it was just for a second.

“please, do. i like the way ‘mr. maniac’ and ‘little psycho’ sound,” yeonjun said, checking the watch—he had to go soon. “i’ll even put red velvet’s ‘psycho’ as your ringtone, hm?” he proposed it like it was the best idea in the world, smug about coming up with it. the lyrics flew quickly in your mind, making you press your lips together, and he noticed it immediately. “no, nevermind, sorry—”

but you composed yourself quickly. “but only if you’re getting stray kids’ ‘maniac’ as yours. fair and square,” you said, trying to keep the most serious face you could manage, holding out your hand to “seal the agreement”. yeonjun took it just as seriously, shaking it a few times, but not letting go when it was clearly time to do so. you tilted your head in question, and that was the moment you realized you should never expect anything good from that man.

yeonjun stood up from the bar stool, placing his other hand behind his back and bowing slightly as he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss to the back of it. “deal, milady,” he said, a foxy smile playing on his face—you were sure he wasn’t even trying to hide it, no attempt to pretend not to do it on purpose just to play with you!

you narrowed your eyes at him, turning your hand a bit to pinch the skin between his thumb and index finger, making him tsk at you, but it quickly turned into a chuckle when he noticed the way you hissed as his ring scratched exactly the same spot on your hand.

yeonjun's grin grew bigger at that. of course, he didn't do it on purpose, but it was funny nevertheless—the way your intent to “hurt him” turned against yourself. “the revenge was quick that time, wasn't it?” he asked mockingly, with no actual bite to his words, and somehow he was sure you knew it. his phone buzzed, though, and he realized he’d lost track of time again. “i’ll text you, okay? ‘mr. maniac’. don't forget,” he warned jokingly, trying to make you smile as he saw your face slowly falling.

you nodded and followed him to the front door, watching him open the corridor door for the locksmith and let him in. they both came closer to you, the man asking for yeonjun's id to confirm he was living there. you almost retreated to your own apartment, not wanting to create a crowd when it obviously wasn't needed, when your eyes fell on yeonjun's wallet that he had taken out to get his id. inside, in a small window people usually used for photos, was a tiny pink pressed rose bud, the little flower made your heart skip a beat. why would he have something like that?.. even the locksmith's question didn't tear your attention away from it; it was yeonjun's soft, almost concerned ‘[ yn ]?’ that pulled you out of your head.

it was impossible to describe how embarrassed you were, trying to quickly recall what the question had been. “uh, yes, that man is my neighbour. of a few years,” you said quickly, and the locksmith nodded, giving yeonjun his id back and saying something about two confirmations being better than one, to which you only nodded absentmindedly, image of the flower still in front of your eyes.

you waved yeonjun goodbye and mumbled something about having a good day to the locksmith before disappearing behind your door—completely unaware of yeonjun’s worried look.

the moment the door was locked, the last ‘click’ going through the heavy air, you realized how stupid you were for overthinking it—it was probably a little nothing from someone important. a girlfriend, perhaps. yes, he didn't have a soulmate, but that didn’t mean people who hadn’t met their soulmate couldn’t date anyone else—after all, your own soulmate did the same thing so many years ago. and you wouldtoo, you admitted to yourself, given the opportunity—that endless chase for someone who was god knows where, if they even were, was exhausting.

you didn’t even turn away from the door yet when your watch buzzed and you saw ‘be a cute psycho, not a sad psycho ;)’ on the screen. you looked into the peephole, and there he was—sending his failing wink at you and making you smile. you unlocked your phone and sent a quick ‘okay, mr. maniac’, accepting his friend request and changing ‘choi yeonjun’ to the nickname he wanted. you thought for a second before taking a screenshot of his name and sending it to him, getting a reply almost immediately—’good girl’. you paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard, unsure how to reply, when another message came in: ‘tell me when i’m too much, okay? don’t put up with my behaviour if it makes you uncomfortable’. it was nice—really nice, warmth spilling inside, as you sent ‘okay. but it’s fine so far, don’t worry’.

the conversation didn’t stop there—just like you two were talking about everything and nothing when yeonjun was sitting in your kitchen, you continued talking through texts, completely losing track of time—friends, families, funny stories from work. turned out he was three handshakes away from you—one of the guys who took yeonjun’s dance lessons about a year ago and became his good friend was regularly playing league with soobin. the guy he moved to japan a few months ago and kept complaining to yeonjun that his playing buddy chose a girl over him until three of them started playing together.

it was past midnight when yeonjun said that it was time for you two to sleep, and you couldn’t even fight him on it—you tried to, but he kept correcting your sleepy typos instead of answering, and you quickly realized once again it was useless to go against him, because he would find a way to get everything done his way. so you wished him sweet dreams and locked your phone, putting it on the bedside table, your sleepy gaze still glued to it. you hoped yeonjun wasn’t finding you annoying—you liked talking to him.

just like your head was full of him for the previous few hours, your last thoughts before finally falling asleep were the same.

the pain caused by him was delicious. it reminded you of caramel—his touches were drawn-out, hot and so, so sweet. no pleasure had ever come close to the sweetness of the pain he was inflicting upon you—he took his time, making you savour everything he was giving you and crave more.

his fingers around your neck felt like the only necklace you would ever want to wear from now on—hand firm, warm and sweet too. if only he tightened his hand—he did so immediately, making you roll your eyes and part your lips, and he didn't let the opportunity go to waste, sliding his index and middle finger into your mouth, the other ones and thumb digging into the gentle skin of your cheeks.

but the most delicious pain was brought by his teeth, sinking into the skin of your neck and chest, holding it as he sucked the soft surface in, making the lonely thorny stem on your chest bloom, as he held you pressed into him. it was as if he wanted to merge you together, never letting you leave him, and you would beg him to even sew you two together just to never stop feeling that pain. would beg for more of it.

you felt him part your legs, one hand still on your neck, another one digging fingers into the inside of your thigh as he opened you for him, sinking his teeth into the flesh of the other thigh. he leaned in, and the feeling of his warm breath between your legs made you lose the last shred of sanity you still had after all the sweet torture he put you through. at least, you thought so until his wet, warm tongue pressed against your aching clit.

you arched your back, clenching the bed sheet in your hands. “yeonjun—” you choked out, eyes flying open, heart pounding in your chest. the ceiling of your bedroom felt pressing and heavy, trying to bury you under its weight, as if the guilt and disgust at your own dreams weren't heavy enough.

everywhere his hands had been just mere moments ago felt dirty, as if every inch of you was covered in filth instead of the sweet honey his touches had coated you in. you wanted nothing more than to go shower and scratch away the remnants of the disgusting dream you’d had, but even the thought of touching yourself—not sexually, just touching yourself anywhere—made you want to throw up.

yeonjun was nothing but kind to you, making you feel warm and comfortable, asking if you were fine with his behaviour almost on the clock, and you paid him with having a fucking wet dream. not even a soft vanilla one—though, that one wouldn't have made the situation much better—but a dirty one, where you craved him to hurt you, and absolutely nothing was fine about it. it was that stupid masochism again, the one you tried so hard to ignore.

you sat up slowly, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling between your legs—you touched the fabric and it was basically soaked, feeling under the pads of your fingers adding to the guilt, because you weren't sure when was the last time you'd been that wet. you had to pull your panties off just not to feel your wetness against your skin—cool night air making you hiss.

the floor was cold under your bare feet, but you didn't care, finding a clean pair and pulling it on almost violently. you needed some water—your throat and lips were dry, and you prayed to all the gods that you had been just as quiet while having a wet dream as you were while touching yourself. if you remembered correctly, your and yeonjun's apartments were mirroring each other, meaning his bedroom was just behind the wall from yours.

you stood by the counter, your fingers clutching the glass—you two were sitting just a few hours ago behind your back, and you wondered how you'd be able to look him in the eyes now, if you couldn't even look at yourself.

just a wall away from where you were only a few minutes ago, yeonjun stirred awake with a soft groan on his lips, head thrown back. his heart was beating like crazy, and his entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, as he struggled to catch his breath and grasp at least one coherent thought amidst the dozen flying through his mind. but most importantly, he wanted to focus on anything but the images that stayed in his head even after he woke up.

yeonjun couldn't believe these thoughts, these fantasies were back. they weren't too hardcore, but he still had been pushing them down and ignoring their existence for years. no matter how he tried to phrase it, none sounded good—‘i’m a sadist’? he was, but he was a softcore one—that wasn't what anyone would think when hearing the word, though. ‘i enjoy causing pain’? it was even worse. and even knowing the truth himself, he couldn't accept it, too afraid of being labeled a psychopath. again.

but they were back, and in the worst way possible—dreams. something yeonjun couldn't control. and what dreams they were—about the sweet neighbour he had only started getting to know better, and never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. but his brain thought differently. too differently, throwing in images of the way your skin felt between his lips and teeth, of the way his fingers fit perfectly around your neck, as if it was made for him to hold it, of the way you trembled and clenched at every little glimpse of pain he was giving you.

yeonjun felt himself twitch in his boxers—pictures too vivid in his head. he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the damp bangs away from his sweaty forehead and tugging at the roots. he didn't want to do it, truly didn't, but it was almost hurting, and his free hand—almost on its own accord—drifted down to jerk his tank top higher and then palm his hard cock through his boxers. he groaned at the feeling that was releasing at least a bit of pressure—pressure so unbearable, it almost shadowed the guilt he felt over thinking about you in such way.

the fabric was soaked through with precum, and yeonjun pushed it down with a quiet, low moan, freeing himself, his pulsing cock slapping against his stomach and leaving a smear of precum on his skin. he wrapped his hand around the shaft, stroking it slowly, images from the dream finding its way back into his mind—he tried his best to keep his fantasies to the needed minimum, not letting anything else in. he was doing it only to get rid of a boner.

but you felt so good beneath him there, your expressions, your sounds, the little trembles of your body and the way you clung to him, begging for more—all of it was sweeter than honey. yeonjun couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering. was it possible to make you even sweeter? of course, he thought, cock twitching in his hand even before he finished the thought. because he could want anything, crave anything and you would give it to him, because you craved the same thing. like his lost puzzle piece.

yeonjun stroked himself faster, his grip tightening around his throbbing cock as he started losing himself in the fantasy, much more dangerous than the one he had dreamed about, but he was in too deep to stop, because you—the one from the dream—was her. the one he had craved so much but had buried deep inside, down to the last thought. the one who wanted everything he wanted to give and could give—in exact same amounts. just perfect for him down to the smallest whimpers of pleasure found in the pain he gave you.

the thought made yeonjun groan, his hips bucking up into his fist as he felt his release building fast. he could almost hear your mewls and sobs of begging to never stop, feel your hands on his body, holding him and accepting him and his every dark part. he came, biting into his lip hard to muffle his moan of your name, as thick ropes of cum painted his stomach and hand.

yeonjun tried to catch his breath, guilt slowly creeping in—much stronger than before—but there was something worse. the word was still bright, almost blinding in his mind, and he couldn’t believe a mere wet dream and just jerking off had awakened in him something that he had been hiding from himself for nearly a decade.

he looked at his hand, covered in cum, in disgust and grabbed the pack of facial tissues, pulling them out harshly to get rid of the reminders of everything that had happened. yeonjun wasn’t disgusted by his cum—he was a grown up, after all—but he hated everything that was somehow connected to it this time, and tissues weren’t enough. he threw the box somewhere on the bed and got up to go to the bathroom to at least wash his hands properly.

yeonjun didn’t even bother to wipe them dry, just pausing in the doorway on his way out and shaking the drops off, as his gaze fell on the key you had given him, the silver rose keychain dangling down from the shelf, reflecting a light that went through the window from somewhere outside in the night. it was too dark to see the thorns, but he knew they were there, mocking him with the cruel coincidence.

the way yeonjun tugged his tank top off on his way to the large mirror was almost cruel—he couldn’t care less if he tore it, he needed to look at it. he turned his back to the mirror, looking at the reflection over his shoulder, and there it was—mark of a wild rose, a thorned rose stem crossing his back. looking at it was almost foreign, feeling like a distant memory of someone who he had been years ago.

yeonjun had always thought he was lucky to have it somewhere he just couldn’t see it—wild roses didn’t always find their soulmates, and their marks were a constant reminder of that, so he felt sorry for those who had to look at it regularly. he had the privilege of only seeing his own when he wanted to, and he never did—he hadn’t seen it for years. but had it helped him now?

had his dismissal towards it helped him, when his tired and stressed brain clung to the nicest and most relaxing thing that had happened to him in weeks and distorted it into something dirty and disgusting, which had awakened a craving for something that he had given up on getting long ago, because his soulmate was nowhere to be found?

had his pretending helped him, when he came with the thought of just being accepted?

everything melted under the morning light, though—just like how it could turn the monster in the dark corner into a coat carelessly hung on the coat rack, when you were a child, in the same way, it transformed all the thoughts, fears and, most importantly, guilt into indifference for both of you.

in the darkness of the night, you weren't sure how you could even think of yeonjun, but now, as you were applying healing lip balm to you sore lower lip—that you, perhaps, had bitten too hard last night—while trying to type with your other hand, you didn’t see any problem—you couldn’t control your dreams. your brain had probably been so overloaded with yeonjun for hours before you went to sleep, that it just continued thinking of him even subconsciously. god, you even had a wet dream about soobin once, after you two stayed in the office until almost midnight and you were just too tired.

yeonjun would never know about it anyway—unless you told him, and you surely weren’t going to. you were going to just go with the flow and let stuff happen the way they were supposed to, without ruining everything for yourself by feeling ‘guilt’ and ‘disgust’ toward your subconscious. you would just deal with the consequences later—if there would be any, of course. you sure there wouldn’t be.

and it was the same for yeonjun, who was almost embarrassed with how dramatic he had been in the dark shadows of his apartment and thoughts, longing for a soulmate who would ‘accept’ him. yes, his soulmate would—just as he would do the same for them—because his darkness aligned and blended perfectly with theirs. that was the point of soulmates. but who said his soulmate was the only one who could do it? his friends accepted him—yes, it was different, but it was still acceptance. who said there was only one person in the world that could accept him as a lover? bullshit.

and when it came to the filthiness of thoughts yeonjun had about you… he wasn’t so sure it was truly you, if he was being honest. in the chill morning air, it felt more like a phantom of his soulmate—one he secretly craved so badly to hold—had shaped itself into your form just because he spent so much time with you yesterday. it probably had to do a little with you as… you. too little. almost nothing.

so yeonjun had almost no remorse sending you a good morning text in the form of ‘so, are you having pineapple pizza for breakfast? or are you going to add pineapples to kimchi maybe?’. before he could even wonder if it sounded a bit too rude or aggressive, you hit him back with ‘okay, jokes aside, serious question now. do you put choco mint ice cream on your fried chicken or do you prefer to dip it?’, making him smile—you matched his sass, and he loved it.

yeonjun asked you if you wanted him to keep you company on your way to the ground floor, so you wouldn’t get bored waiting for the elevator and in it—a kind man he was—and you hesitantly agreed, not wanting to burden him, but keeping in mind that he was the one who offered. he didn’t have to, but he still did, so it was safe to assume he at least had no problems with it—and at most, wanted to. so you chose not to think for him and just be honest.

it was awkward, leaving the apartment and seeing him by your door, waiting for you, but you brushed it off—it reminded you of a friend waiting for you to walk to school together, and it wasn’t a big deal. what was a big deal was the way your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, images from the dream still haunting you, a weird feeling blooming in your lower stomach. seeing him after the way you had felt him in the dream was unsettling, but you tried to push the images away—of course, they were still there, barely any time had passed.

it was the same for yeonjun, his breath hitching when he saw you—so composed and neat compared to how messy and ruffled you had looked in his dream and his fantasies. he quickly corrected himself—not you. his soulmate. with your appearance, but still not you. but he didn’t realize that it took him a bit too long until your question pulled him from his thoughts.

yeonjun was looking at you so intently that you felt an almost overpowering need to make yourself seem smaller. he couldn’t read your mind, could he?.. “is there something on my face?” you asked uncertainly, your hand shooting up to touch your lips. you didn’t have a coffee mustache, did you? that’d be so embarrassing!

“huh?” yeonjun quickly ran his eyes over your face. “no, nothing,” he shook his head, but almost immediately narrowed his eyes, leaning in just a bit closer, making your eyes widen. but then he shook his head and straightened back. “nope, nothing.”

that man was something else, you thought. “what did you think you saw?” you asked curiously, as you both headed to the elevator hall.

“hm?” yeonjun threw a quick glance at you. “it seemed like you had a whole pineapple slice in the corner of your lip,” he shrugged nonchalantly, but the tiny smirk tugging at his lips gave away his intentions to tease you. he continued, “probably imagined it.”

you quirked an eyebrow at him, keeping the play up as you stepped into the elevator. “really? just a few hours with me, and you are already imagining pineapples everywhere?” you leaned your back against the mirror, watching as he stood a bit to the side to adjust his hair. “what’s next? ordering pineapple pizza in the middle of the night so no one sees it?”

gosh, yeonjun thought, throwing a quick glance at your reflection. you fit right into the circle of people he enjoyed spending time with. and what was even better, he knew he’d always have the last word with you. “mhm,” he turned to you. “wait til you look at mint choco ice cream in a convenience store, and the next second, you find yourself eating it with a tablespoon in the middle of the night, thinking of me,” he smirked.

you rolled your eyes playfully, covering up the weird way your insides reacted to ‘thinking of him in the middle of the night’. “you wish,” you stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he’d take it as your defeat. yeonjun seemed to like making you flustered and having the upper hand, and you could get flustered easily sometimes and had never been too sharp-tongued, sometimes struggling to come up with extremely clever and sassy responses—but he didn't seem to mind.

but ‘keeping company to the ground floor’ became ‘keeping company to the nearest bakery’ to get morning coffee for both of you—yeonjun said that he since was already outside, he might as well use the opportunity to get americano for now and some baked goods for later. you weren't sure who was the first to joke when he handed you your cup, but his question about whether there was a pineapple slice in your coffee blended with your question about him deciding against adding chocolate-ed toothpaste to his coffee this time, and neither of you had even finished—your shared laughter filled the little bakery instead.

when you parted your ways, though, yeonjun realized that while talking to you made his exhausting thoughts disappear and he could just stop worrying about basically anything—which was only weird because you had met a little over twelve hours ago, as his friends were able to do the same—whenever you two weren’t talking, his mood became even worse than before, thoughts about not meeting his soulmate yet coming back to haunt him. he thought he had stopped caring a few years ago.

it wasn’t easy to keep himself from turning around to look at you, but he managed to, gripping the cup in his hand tighter, the ice cubes clicking together and cooling his skin even through plastic. was the temporary happiness worth the dark thoughts that crept in the moment he hadn't heard from you for a minute? he wasn't sure. it still wasn't too late to go back to being just neighbours—you still had nothing between you two except one and a half inner jokes. it'd be easy to pretend things just didn't work out.

yeonjun unlocked his phone, the chat with you still open on the screen. his eyes ran over the lines of the morning conversation, a soft smile appearing on his face. he wasn't sure he could do it—to pretend it just didn't work out—because it did, and your messages were perfect proof of it. he wasn't a weak man; he knew how to fight bad habits and addictions, and he could fight this one too, but… did he want to?

you, on the other hand, felt like you were shining from the inside. it seemed like the universe, destiny, fate, or whatever else was up there had heard your intentions of letting the soulmate situation go and sent yeonjun to support you along the way. maybe yeonjun was a sign, hitting you right over the head, telling you it was time to move on and focus on something else. for example, building a good friendship with someone nice and kind? it probably was. what else could it be?

it became a regular habit—not a daily one, but yeonjun kept you company on your way to your work until the bakery at least two or three times a week, when his schedule allowed him—sometimes, his lessons started early in the morning, and he left while you were still sound asleep. he usually told you about it the morning of the previous day, adding something like “just don't miss me too much” or “i hope you won't cry on your way to work”.

yeonjun developed a habit of visiting the bakery and paying for your regular order beforehand these days, but of course, when you asked him about it, he had sworn it wasn't him—just some other kind and extremely handsome soul. perhaps the same one that paid for the pizza the first day. but you weren't going to let it slide, so whenever you both visited the bakery, it turned into a competition who could pay for both orders faster, and eventually two orders became one—to make it impossible to have a tie and to minimize the playful wrestling your competition was turning into.

what surprised you the most, though—because yeonjun's desire to pay for you didn't—was that he and soobin somehow got into contact, probably through beomgyu, and almost made a schedule. whenever soobin couldn't walk you home after working extra hours—either because he had his own plans or because you were the only one who stayed behind—yeonjun was right there, waiting for you. you knew you could tell soobin you wanted to go home alone that day, and he'd text yeonjun, telling him not to worry, but somehow, you were sure yeonjun would still come, not wanting you to walk alone when it was getting dark even before you left work. and you liked spending extra time with him, so you never fought him on it.

every time yeonjun saw you and your bright smile directed at him, he thanked his past self for deciding against pretending things between you and him didn't work out. he realized it wasn't you who was a problem despite triggering these dark thoughts, he was one—he had never really worked them through, choosing to just ignore them until they disappeared. and he thought they had, but of course they hadn't. yet somehow, it felt like just your presence was slowly healing him, motivating him to work his issues out, and it was getting better, even though he never shared his burdens with you.

unexpectedly enough, you hadn't visited yeonjun's apartment in these two months, and he had only visited yours on the day you two talked for the first time. your schedules just didn't seem to match well enough—your nine-to-five job barely aligned with his packed weekday evenings (some days he had to rush back to the dance studio after walking you home) and almost full weekends, where he could have up to twelve hours of lessons each day.

“as i spent two hours at your place the first day,” yeonjun once stated while walking you home, your fingers wrapped around his arm, as he held an umbrella over you both, “it'll be only fair if you spend just as much time at mine,” he threw his regular glance at you to check if you were fully shielded from rain.

it pulled you out of your head and you looked at yeonjun with a little ‘hm?’ but your brain caught up before he could repeat himself. “two hours? don't tell me you're going to set a countdown and push me out the moment it runs out,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow.

“nah, don't worry,” yeonjun assured you, poking your shoulder. “i’ll set a countdown and won't let you out until it goes out,” he paused for a second, wondering if he should say that, but jokes like that had become more or less regular between you two pretty quickly. he just hoped you'd tell him if he ever made you feel uncomfortable. “might even tie you up, hm?”

you looked at him with ‘are you serious?’ expression, trying to contain your smile. “you're such a perv, jun,” you said, shaking your head, but you weren't serious about it, and he knew it—you often were the one to start these jokes. “how did we get from jokes about tying you up to jokes about tying me up, though?”

yeonjun shrugged. “got to know each other better?” he was only half joking—he had enough experience to be almost completely sure where exactly you leaned on that… coordinate line. and considering you were keeping up with that direction of jokes, he assumed he was right.

you narrowed your eyes at him—were you that obvious? “what does that mean, choi yeonjun?” you asked with mock pressure, but he only laughed, shaking his head. “are you free to hang out today?” you asked quietly, hoping he was. why would he mention it in the first place if he wasn't?

but yeonjun only shook his head, sighing. “no, sorry, mouse,” he squeezed your hand on his arm with his in an attempt to comfort you at least a bit. “i have classes in twenty minutes and almost til midnight,” he said. he hated to upset you—you never said it outright, but he could hear it in your voice. and he knew he’d hear that little hint of disappointment now too.

of course, he did… you nodded, eyes glued to the tips of your shoes. “okay…”, you mumbled, looking at the reflection of you both in the puddles. it was his job, and he already somehow managed to find time between classes to walk you home when soobin couldn't and woke up early some days to keep you company on your way to work. you wished you could hide your emotions better, but it was difficult to pretend with him. you wanted to be sincere. “sorry. don’t think about it, okay?”

yeonjun pressed his lips together—you both still hadn't passed that stage. you could show your emotions to each other, but never really shared deep feelings, quickly pushing them away and covering them with a smile. and he couldn't ask you to open up, because he wasn't sure he would be able to do the same. “okay,” he smiled warmly at you. “i’ll record myself dancing between classes and send it to you, okay?”

you nodded, already happier—you loved watching him dance because you could see how much he enjoyed doing it, basically shining from the inside when he was doing it, his happiness almost contagious. and yeonjun enjoyed showing his skills to you too—he had only showed you his dancing in person a few times, but each time you looked at him with such awe, as if he were performing miracles rather than just moving his limbs. it fed his ego to no end, if he had to admit.

a few weeks later, though, yeonjun managed to free up his schedule a little and finally invited you to his place, swearing he didn't have any mint choco ice cream there, and you promised your pockets were free of pineapple pizzas. he had admitted he had nothing against pineapples on pizza less than a week after joking about it for the first time, and you said you were only joking about mint chocolate too, but the joke still stuck—it was your first inside joke (or the second one, after the one about yeonjun being a maniac one).

you found out he played guitar—the tips of your fingers itched at the memory, but you pushed it away—but he hadn’t played much recently, barely having time to practice anymore, so he figured he had probably lost all his skills. but yeonjun tried to remember a melody, playing it for you as you sat in his living room, watching him try to recall finger placements. and he was actually good, making you wonder why he gave himself so little credit sometimes. he was a great singer too—another skill from his middle school years—and while the highest notes weren’t his strongest suit, his soft, breathy singing was one of the nicest voices you had ever heard.

since then, yeonjun managed to free up even more time to spend it with you and his other friends—he was glad you motivated him to do it, because he realized he had been overworking himself like crazy for the past two years, taking on more classes than he could realistically handle while still enjoying his job. he could finally sleep properly too, minimizing the number of classes that started too early or ended too late, which also gave him opportunity to meet his old friends more often and spend time with you at his or your place almost on daily basis.

it made you both slowly start opening up to each other about your current problems—work, friends, families—as you sat on the couch late at night,the room dimly lit by a paused movie or tv series on the screen, a slightly open window letting in cool air and making you wrap your blankets tighter around yourselves. all of it made the atmosphere too comfortable, almost intimate, making each of you think about the things that were burdening you and stealing the desire to keep them to yourselves when getting asked about them.

often, you were the one who shared your burdens, and yeonjun listened, giving advice or, more often, sharing his point of view on the things you were worried about. you never expected him to be so emotionally mature, if you had to admit—he was extremely stubborn and even short-tempered some days, occasionally seemed to have issues when his authority was questioned, and you had noticed some light possessive tendencies, but his advice was always great, and most of the time, he was able to help you decipher your own feelings and emotions when you were completely confused.

yeonjun preferred to keep his burdens to himself—not just from you, but from almost everyone. he was the oldest in his friend group, and didn’t want to burden others in general, especially the ones who were younger. and, he once admitted, he also felt even more protective over you. he never said why, but you knew—he saw you weak. not in a bad way, just as someone who needed protection, and he wanted to take that role, which meant he wasn’t allowed to make you feel worse in any way, even if it was worrying about him.

but at the same time, yeonjun tried his best to open up about things he was sure wouldn’t worry you too much—an annoying person in his class, spoiled milk because he forgot to put it back in the fridge, or a takeout order that was delivered wrong. things that made him annoyed or angry, not upset or hurt, because he was afraid you’d mirror his feelings, and being annoyed was much better than being upset. but even so, it still helped him open up more and more to you.

the only thing neither of you ever mentioned in these months was soulmates—the first slip into that topic had drawn a line you both didn’t want to cross, realizing how difficult it was even without knowing the details. mostly because it was the same for both of you. but at the same time, neither yeonjun nor you worried too much about it recently, too focused on maintaining a newly found friendship. of course, some dark thoughts still haunted you in the dead of night, but it happened much less frequently.

wet dreams started happening more frequently, though. so often, you didn’t even bother anymore, simply going right back to sleep after waking up from another one in the middle of the night. all of them were based on the same thing—pain, which was more or less understandable, given your type of soulmate bond affected your relationship with it a lot. but you couldn’t wrap your head around yeonjun being the one in your dreams. he seemed so gentle with whatever he touched, so soft, a complete opposite of how he was in your dreams, and despite him being an extremely handsome man and everything anyone could want in a partner, you weren’t sure you were sexually attracted to him. at least, not until yet another wet dream that made you look at him differently for a few days.

for yeonjun, it was even worse—the fantasies he had been suppressing for years started creeping closer to the surface, which didn’t match well with his already naturally high libido, more free time from work, and not wanting to look for a friend with benefits or even a one-night stand. some nights he even managed to jerk off and clean up while being half-asleep, waking up in the morning with only a fleeting memory of what had happened. he felt more annoyed by it than guilty, but refused to admit it even to himself—the thought felt extremely selfish and wrong. he wasn't sure why you were the one who pushed his pain kink to the surface, unable to find an answer no matter how much time he spent thinking about it.

it became such a regular thing for both of you, that you just went about your days like nothing had changed, neither of you trying to put any distance between you. you kept getting closer, and at some point, yeonjun gave you a spare key to his apartment—he wasn't sure why, but said it felt ‘natural’. you joked that at least he wouldn’t have to worry about losing his keys anymore, before giving him a spare key to yours—it felt ‘natural' too.

while you barely used yeonjun's, he used yours almost regularly—his uneven working schedule was giving him an opportunity to go grocery shopping in the middle of the day sometimes, so he started buying groceries for both of you, so you wouldn’t have to bother with it after work, leaving them at your place. of course, he always asked beforehand if he could come into your apartment or if you'd prefer him to keep them at his place until you could take them later, but you had no problem with him visiting your place, so you always gave the green light.

yeonjun never took it as a “permanent green light” though, and kept asking for your permission. so when one friday evening you texted him about not feeling too well and probably having a cold—just to explain why you couldn't hang out with him—he asked if he could check on you in the morning and maybe cook something for you. you agreed hesitantly, under the condition of him not getting too close to you so he wouldn't catch a cold too. you both knew perfectly well that he'd do whatever he wanted anyway, but it was obvious he wouldn't visit you without your permission. still, he'd worry his ass out if he didn’t, so you just agreed—you’d take care of him if he got sick.

in the middle of the night, your fever got much worse, your temperature rising significantly and you were so cold, that you could do nothing except pull thick warm pajamas over the skimpy top and shorts you usually slept in and add another blanket, wrapping yourself in two of them like a hot, feverish burrito. and that was exactly how yeonjun found you in the early morning.

it was still dark, but yeonjun decided he could check your temperature in the dim glow of the city lights filtering through your window—he didn't want to wake you by turning on the bright lights, so he stepped to your bed, already feeling uneasy at the sight of how little of your face was visible between the uneven layers of blankets. and it only got worse when he crouched down next to the bed and touched your cheek with the back of his hand—you were practically burning.

yeonjun almost jumped up, quickly slapping the nightlight lamp you had on your bedside table, the room filling with a soft yellow glow as he started unwrapping you from the layers of blankets. “come on, mouse, don't be stubborn,” he mumbled, when you tried to cling to the fabric, but he was stronger in general and you were weakened by the cold, so he had no problem uncovering you. “shit… are you trying to burn yourself alive?” he cursed, when he saw how thick your pajamas were.

but that's when yeonjun froze, towering over you, his knee on the bed as you tried to keep warm, curling into a ball, your back facing him. he wasn't sure you were wearing anything underneath—panties, most probably, but a top…? cautiously, he slid the pajama top up your back, revealing the thin fabric of a crop top, damp with sweat and clinging to your skin. your skin felt like fire under his fingers. shit, he thought. please, don't hate me.

he turned you on your back, trying to tug your pajama top off, but you clung to his arms with quiet sniffles. yeonjun thought his heart was breaking at the way you kept softly sobbing his name, saying how cold you were—he wasn’t even sure how you recognized him in that state, but you did.

you only whimpered his name again, your nails digging into his forearm. “jjun-ie… it’s so cold,” you sobbed quietly, and yeonjun’s heart skipped a beat—you had never called him that way before, and the way you did now made him want to protect you from everything. or give in. but he knew better. “you’re so warm…”

yeonjun hushed you, quickly throwing a glance at the medicine and glass of water on your bedside table beside the thermometer—you prepared it before going to bed. good girl. “i’ll warm you, i promise,” he murmured, pressing his palm to your side—your temperature was only getting higher. “just let me take this off, okay?” he said, tugging the pajama top up slightly.

you nodded with a quiet ‘okay’, and yeonjun, finally getting permission even though a questionable one, pulled the over your head—at least you cooperated now—and froze with it in his hands, his eyes locked on your skin that wasn’t covered with the short top. he almost forgot how to breath.

when he realized he had to undress you, he had told himself this was nothing, that he had seen enough women naked before, that there wouldn’t be anything new. and there wasn’t anything new. but there was something he had never expected to see—the mark. the one that resembled the one on his back. the same mark he had seen on the bodies of other wild roses he knew. half of the stem hidden beneath your top.

you were a wild rose. yeonjun felt like a complete idiot—everything had hinted at that. all the wild roses he knew disliked or even hated roses before meeting their soulmate, yet they always had something connected to roses on them. some wore jewelry, some had keychains or little paintings of one in their phone case. he had a pressed rosebud in his wallet, and you never took off a velvet bracelet that—he now realized—would look like a thorny rose stem if you laid it down.

you had some issues with connection or your soulmate—yeonjun didn’t know the details, but he had never met a wild rose who had it easy. that type of bond being probably the least stable and the most unpredictable one. and you also tried your best to be extremely carefulб even in your clumsiest moments—that was something wild roses learned early on. and, well, you hadn’t met your soulmate, which wasn’t too strange before, but made sense now—many wild roses wandered alone for a really long time.

yeonjun almost touched the thorn under your collarbone as if hypnotized when your sob of his name pulled him out of the haze. you sat up, reaching for him, and he was actually glad you did, because he needed you to take your medicine. he sat on the bed next to you, and you clung to him almost instantly, one of your hands slipping under his hoodie to press against his back, as you tried to warm yourself. he froze—his own mark was there, and even though you couldn’t feel it, it still made him feel weird.

but yeonjun only adjusted your position slightly, settling you between his legs, your side pressed to his chest. he suddenly felt weak, wondering if the discovered information was already taking its toll on him. but he shook his head—not the right time to think about it. he popped the pill out and grabbed the glass, placing the medicine in your palm and guiding the glass to your hand, his own holding it over yours in case you were too weak.

you stopped sobbing about being cold, though you still shivered and trembled slightly in his arms. maybe, the fresh air in your room had cooled you down a bit, clearing your mind, but either way, yeonjun was glad you had calmed down a bit—it made you much more cooperative. you took the medicine almost without needing his words, earning a quiet ‘good girl’ from him, which you probably paid no attention to.

your arms were around yeonjun’s waist the moment he took the glass away from you, holding him tightly as you pressed your chest against his as much as you could in that position. he quietly asked you if he could take off your too-thick pajama pants as well, and you nodded with a quiet ‘yes’, your head resting on his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. you even lifted your hips slightly to help him pull your pants down, getting another ‘good girl' in response.

yeonjun put the thermometer into your mouth and rested his palm on your bare knee, as you pulled your legs closer to your chest, cold now as your pajamas were gone. he tried to warm you at least a little, but mostly, he let you warm yourself against him the way you wanted to, like your own personal human heater—it was the first time you two had been this close, and it was extremely close compared to the simple hello and goodbye hugs, which had been the closest you’d ever gotten. and he was too lost in thoughts anyway to think about how to warm you actively without crossing any boundaries.

somehow, the discovery was horrifying, and mostly because yeonjun had no idea why it scared him so much. was it because it made him feel so much more protective over you, knowing perfectly how painful that type of bond could be? or because of how close it would naturally bring you together in search of comfort whenever it came to anything about soulmates? or maybe because he knew he would have to open up now and tell you who he was—because he knew who you were, and it would only be fair. because he was afraid to open that pandora’s box he called his soul. afraid to do it again, and realize, too late, that he had chosen the wrong person. one more time.

but as you finally fell asleep on his shoulder, your breathing even, your hold loosening and your skin no longer burning—the second temperature check confirming it—yeonjun knew he would never tell you how much you clung to him or how helpless you had sounded, unless you remembered it yourself. he didn't want you to feel embarrassed, especially when there was nothing to be embarrassed about in the first place. he caressed your cheek without thinking, surprising himself both with the action and with the way you instinctively leaned into his cool hand.

carefully, yeonjun laid you back down on your bed and covered you with a thin blanket, holding himself back from pressing lips to your forehead the way his mom always did to him, even when he had grown up. he got up slowly—he still felt weak, but he had to cook something for you, so you’d have something to eat when you woke up. he slapped the nightlight one more time to turn it off, and threw one last quick glance at you before leaving the bedroom.

you were much more surprising than he could ever expect, and he had no idea what to do with these surprises.

♡ you're here ♡ | to chapter 2 →

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