#i did better in one mod than expected and worse in another mod than expected

[illbegottenfaith]

got my final grades this morning and honestly did pretty good!

[romancingdaffodils]

Love Kills

Clampdown

rockstar!remus lupin x reader

PART TGREE OF LOVE KILLS

James wants to kill time. What better way than a trip to ths pub accompanied by a Scottish football game. Remus isn’t seeing you after the incident. You end up sandwiched between him and Sirius. Chaos of the best kind ensues

bet you didn’t expect this come back did you

lots of love from lilac

warnings: alcohol consumption, kissing, general lovey dovey ness, slight pining.

“Alright, party people, let’s get going! We have pub munch and a Rangers game waiting for us.” Pete shouted down the bus. You assumed James had told him to phrase it like that.

“Food poisoning and a bar fight impending.” you mumbled under your breath and Marlene heard. She laughed, whole heartedly. You smiled. The blonde rockstar esc girl was the lead singer for The Valkyries and she was unbelievably punk for lack of a better word. It was shocking to you her and Sirius weren’t dating (it became less shocking when you accidentally bumped into her and Dorcas snogging behind the tour bus). She had her hair cut in what could only be described as a spiked mod cut. In theory, it sounds awful, but some how the blonde woman managed to pull it off. She was pretty to the point your eyes threatened to turn green with envy.

“No need to be so down, scruff. ‘s not like we’re eating something Black has cooked.” she purred, smirking over at you. Her arm was lazily slouched over the shoulder of Dorcas, who was fast asleep on Marlene’s chest.

Sprinting out from backstage, you began to pack up the drums. You were desperate for a distraction from what had just happened. James walking in would appear during midnight daydreams filled with embarrassing moments. The anticipation of sweet relief that never came from the sandy haired man was far worse than any you’d felt before. Silently, you prayed you’d get another moment alone with Remus.

Completely oblivious, you waltzed outside holding the neatly packed away drum kit. Just as you were about to pack it away into storage, you saw something in the corner of your eye. A little flicker of hope made you check it wasn’t the one you were so desperate to see. Dropped, your jaw almost hit the floor in surprise. Dorcas, the Valkyrie’s lead guitarist and Marlene were stood unashamedly showing a rather intimate public display of affection. As cute as the couple were, the scene drove you even further into desperation of wanting to know what could’ve been.

“You’re funny.” you commented, giggling to yourself quietly. She gave you a proud smile.

“I know. How come we haven’t met before, you didn’t go to school with us?” she asked, curious eyes ever catlike.

“Didn’t go to school with you. Met Sirius at a concert and, you know now I’m here.”

“Exciting. Yanno James mentioned he walked into you a—“

Mary slapped her arm. You sighed, burying your head into your hands in defeat. “Did he tell everyone?” you asked, meekly. You could literally feel the colour draining from your face and everything seemed to slow down in a disgusting mix of anxiety and embarrassment.

“Just— Um. Not Sirius though, he doesn’t know.” Mary replied, smiling sympathetically. Saying nothing, you recalled your pinky promise with Remus and went on a mission to go find him. Padding off down the bus, you found him led in his bunk, book in hand.

“Alright?” he asked, not looking up from his book.

“Remember how you promised not to let me kill anyone.”

“Yeah?” his eyes flicked up to you and your stomach twisted. His voice turned to sticky honey in your ears and you were even more convinced he should be the frontman in an indie band. Or maybe he should be an actor. Or a model. He just deserved to be plastered on big screens with his voice trickling out of speakers everywhere you went.

“Need you to hold me back the next time I see James.” he snorted.

“He told everyone, then? Sorry. Should’ve known really.” Remus added, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He reached out and grabbed his shoes, tugging them onto his feet. It served as a reminder you still had an entire night of everyone and their mother knowing your personal life. The colour was yet to return to your face and slowly you realised the lanky man wasn’t really looking at you. More he was looking through you. Admittedly, it stung, but you had to pretend it didn’t. Everything seemed tense.

“Yeah. Um, so the pub. What are we going for again?” you asked, desperate to revel in his attention.

“James wanted to kill time.” he replied, looking up at you. Wincing, he stood up with a groan. ‘His knees must be bothering him,’ you thought, peering up at him.

“Alright?” you asked, peering up at him.

“Just my knees, I’ll be fine. You ready then?” he said, scratching the back of his neck. You wondered if he’d let you lazily run your fingernails up and down the skin.

“Sure. Why not.” you confirmed. He gave you a small smile, but still wasn’t really looking at you.

You wanted to kiss every inch of his skin to make him look at you.

When it came to a rare enigma of a person (like Remus Lupin), you found yourself completely pliant at every thought of them. You didn’t need to know them for very long or understand them all that well. You just needed them. Which, undoubtedly, was unhealthy in the grand scheme of things. However, who were you to disregard the thought of such a pretty man being in close contact with you?

You were almost certain you had blown everything because of Remus’s estrangement for the past few hours. Perhaps that small smidgen of intimacy would be all you could get. You’d be awfully upset if that was true. Whispering silent prayers that he’d allow you to bask in his gaze once more, you made your way off the bus with the rest of the - as Pete had called them - party people.

The walk to the pub was short, you’d ended up in a rather deep conversation with Mary about her drums. You decided she was your favourite drummer to exist ever, solely because of how lovely she was. Far nicer than Sirius was to you. You felt a pair of eyes lingering over you and automatically whipped your head round to find who it was. Locking eyes with Remus, you gave a small smile before immediately looking away. His eyes shot away without the smile. Maybe he wasn’t staring at you, you tried to rationalise the tension in your brain. The walk to the pub felt a longer than it should’ve with Remus’s eyes on you. Given it was any other situation, you would’ve been basking in Remus’s gaze. However, due to the tension brewing you found yourself wanting to hide away from it.

Squeezing into the booth, you ended up trapped in between Remus and Sirius. Your thighs were pressed tightly against the others. Remus had a pint, Sirius had some concoction of stolen drinks and vodka and you had a less impressive half drunk cider. You still felt Remus’s eyes on the side of your face. The feeling of your skin being pushed against his jeans was not helping.

“I think, I think that football is dumb! Have you ever watched Rugby? ‘s way better!” Sirius declared. You scrunched up your face and you were almost certain you heard Remus chuckle. In fact, you were completely certain because the sound sent a shiver down your spine.

“Don’t ever say that, ever, again. Okay?” you said, pointing at Sirius. You felt like a teacher scolding a student, but it felt necessary.

“I’m right though.” he whined.

“So, you like watching sweaty men grapple with each other?” you said, obviously sarcastically.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Remus laughed at this exchange, wholeheartedly. He had started laughing at your sarcasm and your stomach twisted at the thought of making him chuckle. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned away, starting a conversation with Marlene and Dorcas.

“Hi.” you whispered, to Remus as you peered up at him. He tilted his head.

“Hi. You alright?” he whispered in response. His hand twitched slightly as he picked up his glass. You wouldn’t have noticed if it were anyone else, but it was Remus.

“Mhmm!” you peered over at the rest of the table and frowned slightly. “How do they do it?”

“Do what, love?” he asked, the pet name slipping out. He mentally scolded himself, but stopped when he saw the blush spread across your face. The slight curl upwards in the corners of your mouth told him he’d misread the situation. See, Remus Lupin was insecure, especially in relationships. He was certain the whole ordeal with James would’ve put you off for life and that you hated him. But, he couldn’t keep his eyes away from you. He would’ve much rather suffered the whole tour staring longingly at someone than try and chase after you after being walked in on due to his consistent self doubt. A moment of tipsy clarity made him realise he was completely and utterly stupid.

“Talk, so easily. And, all the time. They just, always know what to say. I’m jealous really.” you explained, thankful you didn’t stutter of your words.

“Honestly? We were popular at school, it just comes with the territory really. Me less so, I’m still working it out.” he replied, looking down at you. You nodded your head in understanding. You wanted to shrink him down to the size of a mouse and keep him in your pocket at all times.

Somehow, being sat next to Remus had managed to drown out the sound of the football for an extended period of time. However, it wasn’t long before Rangers were getting chances and it was starting to get a little too overwhelming. He seemed to notice. “Wanna go for a smoke?” he asked, offering out his hand as he stood. You’d never moved so fast before. Nodding your head, you took his hand and stood up. He walked, fast. Big strides, you supposed. It never occurred to you that he was moving fast because he was oh so desperate to be alone with you.

You hummed as you leant against the wall, exhaling a mouthful of smoke. You then handed the cigarette back to Remus, who was staring at you like you were the only girl in the world.

‘Christ,’ he thought ‘this’ll kill me.’

Your eyes landed on Remus and you grinned at him. He smiled back before putting out the cigarette. You pressed your face against the cool bricks of the building; the fresh air was relieving you of the stickiness of the pub.

“That comfy?” he asked, chuckling slightly as he looked at you.

“Rem?” you inhale, sharply. You need to ask him. You tell yourself, you have to.

“Yeah?”

“Why haven’t you looked at me since James walked in on, whatever that was?” you asked, mumbling slightly, “If you don’t like me, that’s fine I suppose but, I’d just like you to tell m-“

“ ‘Course I fucking like you, don’t be stupid. I was scared, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to embarrass you. In all honesty, I was certain it would put you off me. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person here I can handle being around for a good month straight.”

You giggled, quietly. Looking up at him, you saw something in his eyes. You couldn’t pin point it, but whatever it was made you feel admired. “Alright. I believe you.”

“Good.” he said, quite plainly. He said your name. You peered up at him. He’d moved. He was stood directly in front of you. You tensed, praying it wouldn’t be a replay of the intense anticipation from yesterday.

“Looks like the cut is healing up nice.” your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. He smiled slightly, taking another step towards you. Your back was pressed firmly against the wall.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!”

“Let me say thanks for cleaning me up?”

“Mhm!” your voice cracked part way through your squeal of approval. He giggled and you felt his breath fan against your face. You had your eyes screwed shut.

“Look at me.” he said. Your eyes opened immediately. “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

You stayed silent, staring up at him wide eyed.

“Everything anyone could ever want. Everything I could ever want. You’ve got no need to be jealous of those lot. You’re at least a hundred times better.” he mumbled. One of his hands drifted down to your waist, delicately squeezing at the fat there. The other cupped the side of your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

Cheers erupted from the pub. You couldn’t help yourself.

“I think someone scored.” you whispered.

“Yeah? Or maybe they’re cheering us on.” Remus said before colliding his lips with your own. He tasted of beer, which normally would be repulsive, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care because it was Remus. It was dreamy eyed, pillowy lipped and pretty faced Remus Lupin and you were kissing him. Your Hands latched onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life. It may have looked like you were attempting to push him away, but in reality you were making sure this was real. That you weren’t caught up in a daydream.

Remus thought you were everything. Really. The whole package. You tried your best in everything, apart from dealing with Sirius, and he thought it was so unbelievably attractive. He wanted you to consume him inside and out. You’d already done so to his thoughts. Your lips felt like silk against his own. Remus Lupin had kissed many people. He didn’t think any kisses previously shared lived up to you. Perhaps it was the build up of tension or maybe it was the close proximity the bus forced onto the two of you. Whatever it was, neither of you couldn’t care less.

He pulled away. He breathed. You felt his exhale fan across your face. It forced you into laughter. Tucking your head into his chest, you wondered if this moment could last forever.

“Okay?” he asked, delicately running his fingers through your hair. You nodded. He hummed. You shivered. “Cold?”

“Yeah.” you admitted. He slips off his jacket. His pretty leather jacket that you assume he was coerced into buying by Sirius. You were glad, actually, because he looked completely and utterly gorgeous in it. You tugged on the jacket, after he handed it to you. “Thank you.” you mumble, peering up at him. You’d already pulled away from his chest, but you wished you hadn’t. It was comfortable and sweet. You wanted to go home with him. Unfortunately, Glasgow isn’t quite home. “Can we go back?” you asked.

“Back to the bus?”

“Yeah.”

“ ‘Course we can, dove.” he smirked, lopsidedly. Your face flushed. He chuckled quietly, interlinking his hand with your own as you walked. You couldn’t seem to keep your mouth shut for the duration of the walk. Remus hummed, nodded, asked questions and laughed as you rambled. You didn’t think it got better than this. You finished your final sentence about music and grinned up at Remus. He smiled back.

“After the tour, let me take you out, yeah? Somewhere nice, and preferably not in the murder capital of Europe.” he said, smile still on his face. It wasn’t often Remus asked a question spontaneously. His actions were almost always premeditated. However, it was you. He just couldn’t help himself.

“I’d really like that, I think.” you replied. Your eyes crinkled at the corners with how wide you smiled. You bit your tongue; you’d much rather die than let out the squeal of excitement that was brewing.

You had to get through the tour first.

[probablyaseamonster]

On fWhip's new SMP

fWhip, years after ending the Empires series and New Life drizzled out, has decided to create what appears to be the first season of a new series: SOS smp.

Not an acronym (well, i mean, technically) for a longer name, that's the official title and not the fandom tag.

Other fans have addressed the "no lore" thing already, even though the series is only a day old. Check the tag if you want clarity. Or just, you know, watch the videos.

What I want to discuss is the "twist" that sets it apart from other related SMP concepts.

In SOS, every time you die, you leave behind a gravestone. But, the gravestone will also disappear if a set time runs out. This doesn't just take your stuff away, like one might expect. When you die, you enter spectator mode. And if the time runs out and no one ELSE comes to save you, you are banned from the server.

But that's not all! In order to save someone's life, one must ALSO insert a special currency. Each person starts the server with one coin, but you can get more from doing things. This means that a person could not save you, even if they dug into the deep dark or traveled to the end island, if they did not have a coin with them. Horrifying concept, right?

Now that the basic game mechanics are layed out, let's discuss how this relates to other popular SMPs.

This series could not be another edition of the X Life series, for one thing because of there being no world-gen mods, let alone the numerous amounts of other potential gamechangers Afterlife and New Life came with. Excepting everything related to the gravestones, this is a normal minecraft world.

This also clearly can't be the third empires season, for obvious reasons as well as personal context. And as far as I know, no other SMPs fWhip has played in have been this simple.

In fact, this series most closely resembles the Life Series with its simplicity, modded items, and death mechanics. It most obviously resembles the two newest seasons, with the time limit and an implied otherworldly force that could easily be headcanoned as evil.

Now, what REALLY makes me think is how SOS at its core, is set up to foster relationships. A player is 100% dependant on being rescued, but there are no rules that say a person can't NOT rescue someone else, and no penalizing for it. The worst thing a person could do is completely isolate themselves in a far off corner of the map, or worse, antagonize people without making any friends to balance it out. If nobody LIKES or cares about you, or if everyone agrees the server would be better off WITHOUT you, you will be dead forever. Everyone is encouraged to play nice, buy more importantly, develop a deep bond with at least one other person. But even then, there's a chance that person might not even be ABLE to save you. And THAT results in guilt, hatred, and hurt.

Everen, the person who made the iconic Who Are You Really, Everybody Wants To Rule the World, Running Up That Hill, and Battle Cry animatics, once said on stream that Secret Life has been her least favourite season so far, because she felt that none of the alliances really cared about each other. Now, I highly disagree with that take, but I was thinking about it. She said that the creators seemed more focused on making each new episode a Crazy Action-Packed Banger, that they forgot that what most fans really cared about were the quiet moments that make you root for a couple to survive. That, much like Last Life, the twist that season ended up driving people apart and breaking trust, even though the shenigans were funny to watch in comparison to largely angst-inducing. And, unlike Last Life, the winner that season was not the one person who defied the rules more than anyone else; the winner was someone who had played the game, had no allies, and was forced to hurt people and not explain himself. And considering the observation that each season's new rules seems to be based off of the previous winner's Life, I only fear that the next season will be even worse in those regards.

Then, you have fWhip, who'd never been a member of the Life Series (kinda hoped he would, but thats just me), and his new server seems like... like it's rules were made in opposition of that trend.

SOS will, there is no doubt, have at least one tragedy like I had formerly mentioned. Someone will eventually permadie because they had no allies, or were general jerks. In order for the server to end, everyone has to stop saving each other, until there is no one left to save the "winner". There WILL be angst. And there will be relationship drama to make it all hurt more. Even if there is no "lore", no characters or backstories or connections to prior series, there will be fanfics made, fanart drawn, analysis thought of, poetry written, and even songs produced. People will care about this server, even if the community is small and Hermitcraft's stories are booming.

And I am so glad that this series has been made, at this time when Hermitcraft and Life Series seem to hold a monopoly on this fandom.

[subzeroiceskater]

OH MY GOD

MY RR SECRET SANTA ALREADY POSTED HER WORK

AND SHE CAN'T READ??? 😭

LIKE MY FEELINGS ARE MORE FLABBERGASTED RIGHT NOW THAN THIS BECAUSE I WAS JUST DOODLING CAFE BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS

AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK WITH A MOD

Is this better or worse than what happened in 2021?

Like that's a cute pic of Café, yes, yes somebody drew her, but I specifically asked if for just single characters I'd just like Tundra Man. That's it. That's not a single pic of Tundra Man. Am I asking too much. Am I being a dick?

Doesn't posting this early go against the spirit of the event? I don't know. Everything screams to me from somebody who can't follow simple instructions. Like, even the year is written wrong? It's like made and posted by someone who barely doesn't care about the what the rules say. Like one of the comments maybe she should post on Christmas and all she replies yeah maybe.

I don't know. Is this something worth bringing up to the mods?

No, wait, wait, I'm the one who can't read. She said there's at least another one and maybe that one will have Tundra? Fuck. I don't know. My stupid head's reeling right now.

I actually don't WANT to look like a dick, you know. I just don't want to be fucking hurt that badly again. It's why I tried to hard to keep my list simple. Like, okay, if you don't want to draw anything, just draw a simple Tundra pic. That's it. I don't want anyone to put their OC in the picture, don't bother telling anything about in the picture description or anywhere, and only tell one of their followers who asked 'who's that girl', that no I wanted some their OCs in there and thus signalling to their many followers something I never requested, never wanted, and fucking hurtful. It's not the presence of the OC, it's how little they seemed to care about my actual wishes. Like that's what fucking hurt me. Like who cares, dozens of other people liked/favorited/retweeted, what did some fuck's thoughts mattered.

You know what I just read the whole journal and it doesn't this kind of behavior (posting before Christmas) is basically against the rules, like at any point. Like, fine, talking to the mods is basically pointless unless I want to look like a biggest dick. God, it feels so against the spirit of the thing.

When I saw that she favorited my journal, I thought, uh, why would anyone favorite this thing unless they're the one who got me. And then I just panicked and thought, "yeah, the kind of person who lacked the self-awareness of this action is the kind who'd post something really thoughtless and without reading the rules/my list. They would bother wanting any more nuance because they can't pick up anyway." and I saw the pic, and I thought "Oh God I'm right," with a very, very simple straightforward list, I got someone who somehow found my words confusing, and that's where I am.

You know what I'm just gonna ignore this. I'm gonna finish up this dumb redraw but I've been trying to finish for days, log on DA, post my planned replies (which will look insane after this rant but I've planned this for days now), ignore everything else, every fucking thing happening, and just work on my own shit. If that's the only pic I get for whatever reason, that will be very fucking disappointing but hey, what can I expect for someone. Maybe this is a big fat stupid overreaction and there will that planned second thing on Christmas that actually read my list.

Like, come on, all I asked for is a simple Tundra pic. You can just draw him and I'd just thank you because that is what asked for and you cared enough to read through the list and make it. That's all I ever wanted, just to know someone actually isn't being absently thoughtless.

[inaturalist-propaganda]

absolutely hilarious

They hid another one of my posts and I only discover this while copying text for the email I'm writing to CAOS!

Archived link.

= = =

May 30, 2023, 10:16pm 9

Astra_the_dragon said:

I will note that slow mode and temporary closing of threads is not a punishment – it is buying time and preventing a thread from spiraling into further chaos when people get heated. it’s the right thing to do, assuming that when the dust clears, decisive action is taken.

The problem is that the thread was only put into slow mode, and then later closed, after the tension had already ended and the conversation moved on. Both times, the “negativity” was already over.

The only reason it became “negative” once more is because yet another post came through misgendering me, with the staff liking that post rather than saying a simple, “Hey, you were asked to stop, so stop.”.

Putting the thread in slow mode and then closing it even after the conversation had moved on was punishing us for calling out bigotry, whether it was purposefully intended that way or not.

The last few posts before the thread was closed was talking about ways to try out pronouns. No one was being mean or getting heated.

And the fact that us calling out the bigotry in the most civil way possible for what we’re reacting to being treated as worse than the bigotry itself? Inexcusable.

Calling someone transmisic when they’re purposefully misgendering you is not name calling, and treating both sides as though we’re equally at fault and equally doing harm is just victim blaming.

[ID: The meme from the show Gravity Falls of Dipper looking at a piece of paper, which has now been edited to be blank, saying, “Woah.”. The paper has been edited to read, “In all cases, be respectful to every person here, whether LGBTQIA+ or ally.”.

Dipper then looks up at someone offscreen, and continues, “This is worthless!”.

His hat has been edited to now be in the colors of the trans and nonbinary solidarity flag, with stripes of purple, black, blue, pink, yellow, white, yellow, pink, blue, black, and purple.

End ID.]

It’s not enough to just say “if someone asks you to refer to them in a certain way, please respect that choice” while liking the post where someone continues to misgender me and defends doing so, without doing anything to remove these bigoted posts.

If you want to say the posts should be left up for posterity and as a learning opportunity, you can quote them in a new post that says saying things like that are not okay.

The fact that four normal users had to intervene and defend me while the staff did nothing but punish everyone after the conversation was already over is not okay. The fact that all the staff and mods who interacted here equated both sides and tone policed is not okay.

Respecting trans people’s pronouns is not difficult, and it is the absolute bare minimum required to be a trans ally.

With the reaction the staff/mods gave here, it honestly would have been better if you’d done nothing. Normal users had already stepped in to the correct the misgendering and defend me and other trans people, all the staff and mods did was tone police, victim blame, acting like responding with annoyance to purposeful misgendering is “too extreme” even though we were all being perfectly civil. Trust me, I could have been swearing up a storm and throwing around insults but I didn’t. Neither did anyone else.

It’s almost Pride month.

No one expects people to be perfect on the first try but you do have to listen when you’re told that what you’re doing is harmful. Everyone here is assumedly an adult, many of you probably older than I am, and you should know by now that “I don’t care who started it” just punishes the victim.

Next time something like this happens, the posts misgendering the other user (or even just a hypothetical person) need to be removed, and a post by a mod saying “Misgendering of any kind will not be tolerated”. It’s that simple. That’s all you had to do.

And if you’re going to shut the thread again now because we’re being “too negative” that’s just going to prove you don’t actually want to support trans people, you just say it for show. Supporting trans people means shutting down misgendering, not shutting down a thread when the conversation has already moved on and we’re helping eachother try out new pronouns :|

I would have enjoyed being featured on iNat for Pride month but until the staff/mods actually put in the effort to recognize bigotry when it’s staring them in the face and learn to respond accordingly rather than pretending all sides in every conflict are equally at fault and equally harmful, that’s not going to happen. I’ve already got my profile that anyone can read.

Letting iNat show me off to show how inclusive the site is when they won’t even stop someone from misgendering me is just…no. iNaturalist isn’t inclusive just because the userbase is diverse, not when someone misgenders me and the corrections to this misgendering are treated as worse than the misgendering in the first place.

If you want iNaturalist to actually be Inclusive™ and welcoming to Queer people, including trans people, including nonbinary people, including nonbinary people who use pronouns you don’t like or understand then an apology needs to be made, the situation has to be brought to more people’s attention isntead of swept under the rug (you don’t have to use our names, just say “one user�� “a trans user” ect.), you (general you) need to explain why your response was wrong so you can show that you actually understand what you did wrong, then you have to do better.

It’s 2023. Anti-trans legislation is being passed in the USA that’s literally making being trans punishable by death. Removing two posts that misgender a trans user after multiple normal users who have zero power have spoken up in correction and defense is not asking anything but the bare minimum.

The iNaturalist staff need to decide whether they think purposeful misgendering is a simple “difference of opinion”, or hate speech. And if you decide it’s simply a matter of opinion, then you better make it clear that you don’t have trans users’ sides and the rainbow on the icon is just as shallow as any other corporate pridewashing for June.

Do not hide or remove these responses just because they’re “too negative”. If you aren’t willing to be told what you’re doing wrong, or admit that you’ve done wrong, you will never be able to do anything right.

Anyways I made free icons for allies to use anywhere you want. They’re public domain because I made them and I hate capitalism and I say so. You can download them here:

"https://archive.org/details/proud-ally-diagonal-flag-pins-and-icons"

and request more flags / specific labels to ally with by PMing me here or just commenting on the web archive page if you have an account. You can buy a pre-made pin from my Threadless shop too, they’ll appear here when I’m done uploading them (which will take half an hour probably)

= = =

Go ahead and explain to me what part of this post is more offensive, aggressive, or inappriate than purposefully misgendering trans people when you know it's wrong the week before Pride month.

[pokeheros-drama]

Mod edit; Please.. If you’re going to send in long ass submissions like this, I beg, and I cannot stress this enough, that you upload the images to Imgur, or another image-hosting website. Having to copy and paste all those links to upload the images for you takes time out of my day.

“lycario, hisuianzorua, and someone else sabatoged someone elses server instead of just leaving it”

~Lycario here. I’ve already addressed this in the Discord server.

“Let’s start at the beginning. Originally there was a server, run by agent_chopper_45 and Senbonzakura. Two members of this server discovered that Senbonzakura was an alternative account of Corporal, formerly known as TeamFlareGrunt. This led to Senbonzakura getting banned on PH. agent_chopper_45 accused those two members of “bullying” Senbonzakura, and deleted this server.

~UmbreonLover~ was in this server. After the original was deleted, he created another server, “PokéHeroes”, because he thought he could manage it better. I was the second member to join his server, because I stalk Notification Wall, but I wasn’t actually active in it till September 2023.

~UmbreonLover~ wasn’t very informative with posting PH news, so I offered to help. He was “too lazy to create another role”, so he gave me the Mod role instead, with the Administrator permission.

At the time, the roles/channels were in a horrible state. Ice cube emojis were in the name of every channel, the rules page had GIFs with bright flashing lights, aesthetics weren’t consistent, grammar and punctuation weren’t correct. There were 5 automod bots, which gave you a warning, and DMed you for saying things like “crap.” This was because ~UmbreonLover~ allowed DemonPlayz (now known as RedberryPiemon) to set up everything. But then DemonPlayz got banned on PH, for being a creep, and the server was left as it is. (The automod bots were kicked though).

I was somehow able to fix all the channels/roles/settings. I also added a few things, like access roles for the rant channel, onboarding. I also set up most of the bots, and rewrote the rules.

~UmbreonLover~ just created the server for publicity. He later renamed it to Umbreon’s Den (PokéHeroes). He forced people to use a specific giveaway template, so he could get more entries. He was only 13-14, so he wasn’t very good at running the server, didn’t have much time, and was also immature.

~UmbreonLover~ also added random Hu-Tao emojis to the server, when it was supposed to be a PH server. He also invited his ‘online gf’ to the server, and gave her a ‘Umbreon’s Love role’, which was higher than some staff roles 😭

~UmbreonLover~’s parents blocked access to PH, and he still continued to be owner, without transferring ownership. Who wants an owner of a PH server that can’t even play the game?

All of the work was done by the staff, while ~UmbreonLover~ got the credit.

This is what led to me creating a backup server, and adding Xenon (a backup bot), in case ~UmbreonLover~ acted worse. Which he did. He got rid of the Administrator permission from the moderators, when they were the ones who essentially made the server. He created a rule, basically saying ‘even if there is a poll, the final decision is up to me. you have no voting rights’

We started the transition to this server a few days later. When most members had joined, I nuked the server, but only because all of the work was done by the moderators, none of it was ~UmbreonLover~’s.

$hinyDONuT told ~UmbreonLover~ about the second server. ~UmbreonLover~ put him in charge, because he was too lazy to fix it himself. ~UmbreonLover~ gave $hinyDONuT a role labelled Owner, because he supposedly didn’t know how to transfer ownership. After, he changed the story to “his screen is too small”.

Later, $hinyDONuT messaged me saying “I’m sorry I snitched. The server is so dead now”. “Could you please invite me back”. “Now that I think of it, I didn’t even want to ask for that. I just wanted to be friends”

He created 21 backup servers, and expected me to invite him, and be friends with him 💀

He then proceeded to create a group chat with a supposed “hacker”. He had an alt-account in this server.

We weren’t the ones who nuked it (the second time), $hinyDONuT did:

Supporting screenshot proof:

[saltymongoose]

Request (sent via messages): Hi! {im new here ¡~¡} I read the self-aware au {is that what its called?} and i would like to request! So I wanna see the guys (main 4) reaction to player if they were a actual doctor/medic? And they would be with 2b all the time, thanks!~ love the au btw! - @ineedtostopsimping

Hello! This is a cool idea, thanks for requesting it! Hope you like these hcs :D (Also, formatting on this is different again because it's super long and the post editor didn't like that, so I hope it looks alright. 😅)

Their Reaction to a Doctor!Player ft. Deimos, Sanford, Hank, & 2BDamned

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, Manipulation, Slight Masochism, brief descriptions of injuries.)

- [DEIMOS] -

Deimos was actually the first to find out that you were a skilled doctor since he'd also been your first "patient" in their group. You’d been looking over the boys for a brief moment after another mission when you noticed the slight tinge of pain on his face and the way he was favoring his left side. Upon asking him about it, he told you that he happened to get slashed by one of the Agents you’d been fighting a few days ago. Nothing big. 

(Or at least that’s what he said, trying to act all cool in front of you as the edge of his mouth pulled back in a strained grin. His pain medication had worn off a while ago, but how could you see him as dependable when this was all it took to weaken him? Hank could walk around just fine with swords sticking out of him, why shouldn’t he be able to handle a little cut?)

He expected you to try and pull him to one of the medkits and check on his bandages, maybe take a closer look before trying to get you guys back to Doc to examine it for real. Or perhaps you’d just choose to try and heal it yourself with your “mod” (whatever that was). Anything other than you pulling back the patchwork of bloodied bandages and medical tape to redo them yourself after gasping at how bad they were.

(“...Is this dental floss?” you asked, giving him a worried look as he inhaled sharply under your touch, jolting as your fingers tenderly brushed over the edge of his wound. You thought his sudden redness was a result of exertion and the pain, but it was also due to having your hands on his bare skin. A part of him felt happy, even though he wished the contact was at a better time.)

He and the others watched your every move as you took a medkit from Sanford and replaced the semi-torn stitches with your own neat ones, distracting him from the pain with your explanation of why you could do such a thing to begin with. (“...and afterward I got my certification. The exam was really stressful, but I can’t say I regret it – Sanford, could you pass me the scissors? Thanks. So anyway-”). Turns out you were a real doctor back in your world, at least before you quit to start streaming instead; you had a full MD and everything!

After finding this out, Deimos was quick to start going to you for getting patched up instead of Doc. I mean, it’s not like anyone would blame him for preferring someone who clearly had more experience with this, right? (He also did it just because he wanted to feel your touch again, but he never admits it openly. Even if the glares from the other three make it perfectly clear that they know, especially when they see the way he lights up when you agree.)

He plays up almost every injury or cold he gets just to have more of your attention on him. To you, it’s almost like a kid faking a worse illness just to get out of going to school, only it’s a fully grown man slumping over you while moaning about how awful he feels from a sore throat and coughing loudly into his elbow. (He pouts when you suggest that his cigarettes are the cause of it, but it switches to a smile when you laugh at his mock-annoyance.)

However, he actually gets injured a lot in reality, with little cuts, burns, and damage from electrical shocks when he’s fiddling with his electronics or tinkering with some other machinery. They’re small wounds that heal quickly and he’s used to just bandaging them himself the moment they happen. Honestly, they’re such an afterthought that he didn’t even think about going to you for them, the idea just completely slipped his mind. 

Then you get curious about it when you hear him curse under his breath and watch him whip his hand away from the circut board he was soldering for the 7th time that day. He was surprised when you quickly came up to him and clasped his wrist to get a good look at what happened, so much so that he started stammering out assurances that he was “just fine” and that “it happens all the time”. But as you gently hush him and bring his hand closer to you to inspect his fingers, you miss the silent look of contemplation that washes over him before he grins to himself. (Sanford doesn’t though, giving him a scathing look from his own place across the room. It’s almost like he can see the sudden realization that occurs when Deimos realizes that ‘Oh right, I can use this too’.)

Despite the great lengths he goes to just to get your attention this way, he can be very fidgety when you finally tend to him. He squirms when your hands run over a tender spot and he drums his fingers on the table when you have your face close to him to get a better look at what you’re doing. (You’re so focused that you miss the small shiver he does when your breaths brush against his skin. You’re just so close, he can’t handle it!)

You just assume it’s from nerves since it’s pretty normal to have some patients who get anxious during medical treatments, but that’s not the case. He just gets overwhelmed a little bit (a lot) when you focus all your attention on him like this, how can he not be when the person he’s been crushing on for months is looking at him all softly while tracing their fingers over his wounds, ending his pain and making sure that he’s okay?

- [SANFORD] -

Out of all the grunts, though, Sanford is actually your best patient, well, the best behaved anyway. After hearing you talk about the sheer amount of work you had to do to even become a practicing doctor he’s extremely impressed, almost in awe at how skilled of a person you are. He’s never met anyone who’s as experienced in the medical field as you, and he really respects you as a professional. Honestly it just makes him more starstruck when in your presence.

Unlike the others, Sanford won’t balk when Doc treats his injuries; he knows your time is valuable and he doesn’t want to stop you from doing what you need to do. While he’s admittedly a little disappointed when you instruct 2B on how to properly fix him up instead of doing it yourself, he still finds some way to appreciate it. Just the change in the way he’s bandaged and the more precise treatments he’s given are proof enough of your influence there. 

(Though you do notice how he seems to get a little huffy when you show Hank and Deimos more attention, so you’ll make the first move to bring him in for some “extra precautionary examinations". The genuine surprise and bashful reaction you get from him is well worth the time it takes to make up something believable. Plus, the way he blushes when you show a sudden interest in him is really cute, not going to lie.)

It’s also because of his respect for you that he won’t try to burden you with his own injuries if he can help it (and also because he wants you to see him as reliable, and it’s not like you can lean on someone who needs help with every little wound, right?). Unfortunately, though, this also extends to some occasions where he could really use your assistance. Like those many stray gashes he’s received from debris or the shotgun slugs that’ve managed to bury their way into his torso. Gruesome wounds that he believes he can handle on his own with only basic first aid training.

You know better than anyone just how dangerous wounds like this can be, and that’s not to mention the additional risk that infections can pose. So you have to keep an eye on him to make sure he’s actually doing as well as he says he is. And you don’t exactly understand why he tries to hide his wounds from you either; you can tell that he enjoys spending time with you when you treat him and it helps both of you when you do it (him for his injuries and you for your own worry), so why go to such lengths?

It honestly really flusters him whenever you drag him into the medbay to treat him. It serves as a reminder of how much you genuinely care about him and he can feel his heart flutter when you look at him with concern and carefully tend to the varying wounds he’s gotten. Sometimes you’ll chide him for not coming to you sooner, rendering him speechless by outright telling him that you care for him too much for him to let himself suffer like this.

(“Sanford, I know you don’t want to bother me –and I appreciate the sentiment, don’t get me wrong– but you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It worries me when you get hurt, you know, and I hate seeing you in pain. It’s really cheesy so I hate saying it like this, but seeing you like this hurts me too, you know. I’m your Player, you can come to me for anything and I’d help you without question,” you paused from your rant to look him in the face, “I really care about you, so please lean on me when you need to, okay?” He only nods slowly in response, his face beet red. He hadn’t expected you to say that you were his, nor for you to be so…blatant with your affection.)

Other than this, he’s honestly a model patient for you, allowing you to do whatever you like without too much questioning on his part. Since he isn’t as unwilling to have Doc treat him, you include him a lot in your teaching sessions to act as an example as well. He’s happy about it, even if he has to fight to keep the completely lovesick look off his face in front of Doc.

(Although 2BDamned is less than pleased about this, glaring at the other grunt whenever you end up touching him for too long whilst showing him what to do.  If you wanted an example so badly you could’ve just demonstrated on him, you know.)

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

After finding out about your skills, Hank is like Deimos in that he’ll deliberately use his injuries to get your attention. However, instead of playing up the ones he has (since he knows it would probably be uncharacteristic of him to show much of a reaction to his wounds), he’ll just try to get more of them. He’ll slow his own reaction time when you aren’t looking, allowing his enemies to riddle him with a few bullets and slices before taking them out, perhaps even putting himself out in the open more just to get maimed.

He doesn’t care for the damage that they could do, he’s happy to bare more pain if it gets you to fix him yourself. In fact, he’ll also refuse any anesthesia you or Doc try to give him since he wants to be fully awake and aware of you working on him. He wants to feel the way your fingers brush over his skin as you stitch him back together and every little shift of your tools as they pull debris from his flesh. It doesn’t matter if it hurts, if anything the adrenaline rush from it just makes him more aware of your movements. Besides, he can take it, trust him.

(He’s even tried inflicting the wounds himself at times, but he never makes any mentions of where they came from. You had your suspicions, though, since the angles on some of the injuries he had were quite odd. One time he’d gotten a deep stab wound in his thigh, but to you it appeared like someone had to have been pressed right up against him to cause it, far closer than he’d usually let someone get. Curious.)

However, he won’t sit quietly whenever you try to have Doc fix him up instead. He didn’t want 2B to touch him, not when he had you to put him back together. Who cares if the other grunt’s trying to use it as a “teaching moment”? He spends all the time that he wants around you anyway, so Hank sees absolutely no reason to let him steal these private moments between you too. Besides, Doc didn’t have a license or anything like you did, so he’s just being sensible. (He disregards the fact that 2B has treated him for years and brought him back to life numerous times. It’s not good enough for him anymore, and besides, he trusts that you would bring him back if needed too.)

He’ll roughly shove past Doc whenever he tries to treat him, sometimes even threatening him to make him let up. It doesn’t matter if the wound is big or small, he only wants your eyes on him for this. Honestly, he won’t even let the other man figure out the full extent of his injuries or give him the smallest of examinations. He savors every time he gets injured to the fullest regardless of how much damage waiting for you might cause.

(Doc looked up from where he was working with you, currently busy passing you supplies as you soothed a balm over a burn that Sanford had received. He finds Hank leaning on the wall across from him, left hand braced across his side as blood pours from between his fingers onto the floor and is that a machete impaling him?! 2B shifts in his seat, making a move to get up.

“Hank, you’re bleeding.” He says it as more of an observation that anything. But Hank didn’t even turn his head to acknowledge his words, still leering at Sanford from where he was sitting on your examination table. “Hank.”

He tilted his head slightly. “I know.” His tone was condescending, and it annoyed Doc beyond belief. He could already feel another headache coming on as he rose and crossed the room to force him to comply with treatment. (He didn’t want you to have to deal with the cleanup, since Hank was so inconsiderate of your time.) Yet when he tried to pull his hand away from his side to inspect the damage, Hank shoved it away with a hiss, bristling at the attempt. “Don’t fucking touch me.”)

This is in stark contrast to how cooperative he is with you, of course. He’s happy to help you pull off his coat when you notice crimson darkening the fabric, even purring and leaning into you as you poke around to find the source of the blood. Given the large height difference between you, he’ll also maneuver himself to make it easier to access his wounds, sometimes even picking you up to view his face.

(“Hank, what are you-oh,” you stammer as you place your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, carefully wrapping your legs around his torso as he looks up at you questioningly. Or at least you try to since he’s so big. “Um okay…this is probably unnecessary, but it works. Could you turn a little bit, I need to get more light.” And he does, of course, ever obedient for you and you only. You smile as you lift his goggles and pull his mask down, glad to see that he isn’t hiding any injuries underneath. “Thanks, big guy.” He only purrs louder in response and affectionately nips at the tips of your fingers. You giggle and rub a thumb over his cheek and he leans his head into your palm.)

(He also notices the glares that Doc is sending him from his desk and huffs a silent laugh when he sees the snapped pencil in his grasp. Sucks to be him.)

- [2BDAMNED] -

Speaking of 2BDamned, as the only other real “medic” in the group he’s very grateful for your knowledge. Not only does it make his job a hundred times easier, but it also provides a very good opportunity for him to spend more time around you. Even though he’s referred to as “Doc”, he’s never actually had any official training on how to take care of wounds, so he’s happy to spend as much time as he can learning everything directly from you. You are an experienced professional, after all.

He delights in the times he can pull you away from the others to sit at his side and teach him, listening with rapt attention as you explain the many procedures and examinations you know how to do. It doesn’t matter if you’ve gone over it already either, he enjoys the sound of your voice immensely so he’ll let you ramble on for hours if you’d like, gazing at you with a warm look all the while. Besides, the longer you take explaining things to him, the longer the time is that you spend together.

He’s actually quite studious, jotting down notes on everything you say and following your every instruction to a T. He also assists you by jumping up to get you whatever you need, whether it be tools or another cup of coffee. It’s genuinely helpful to you and he gets a sense of fulfillment every time he sees your look of surprise at his gestures. He just wants to make sure that you never regret your decision to teach him. Plus, if he makes sure that you enjoy being close to him at all times then you won’t think of seeking out anyone else to stay with, at least in his mind.

You also discuss the anatomy of grunts as well, since if you’re going to be treating them it’s something you should be familiar with. He’ll search for books and medical guides to help you with this, and he even finds a bookcase where you can store them all at their base. He’s very considerate with it, and if anything he’s also proud that you’d take such a deep interest in grunts. He’s aware that you could probably just have them fix themselves up (since that’s what they did before you came to Nevada), or even use your abilities, but the fact that you wanted to treat them yourself made him feel oddly happy.

He’ll be the first to offer himself up for a quick look-over if you want to get a feel for how they’re different from humans, like letting you examine his hands to inspect his claws, for instance. He even lets you remove his mask to look over his face if you want, just to figure out what to look for, of course. It’s a privilege that you don’t take lightly since you know how private he is about this.

(The extensive scars that marred his cheeks made him pretty anxious about it the first time. The last thing he wanted to do was disgust you with his appearance. Although he wasn’t surprised when your curiosity made way for fondness and slight worry. You were careful when you lightly touched the uneven, discolored skin. It was a painfully tender moment, he felt his breath hitch when you moved to cup both of his cheeks in your hands, suddenly realizing that he was purring almost embarrassingly loud (for him, anyway) and that his face was burning under your fingers. “Does it hurt, Doc?” you murmur and he melts into your touch just a little more. The small shake of his head is the only reply you need.)

You’re really happy with the arrangement you’ve managed to work out with Doc. Learning more about how to take care of your vessels was one of your main priorities now that you entered Nevada, and you were worried that your expertise wouldn’t carry over that much. However, your little lessons with 2B assured you that this wasn’t entirely correct, so you didn’t have very much to worry about. Knowing what to do with the grunts when they got injured removed a lot of nervousness you felt about it, so you were glad you had the chance to know more.

Although the others don’t share this opinion. While Sanford is willing to put up with your closeness with Doc (if only because it allows him to get more time with you by association), he still gets jealous of the amount of time you spend with him. And he has a right to since you spend most of your day with him unless you’re out on missions. But how else could you learn about grunts if you weren’t being taught by someone who had a little experience with treating them?

Hank and Deimos tend to be the most disruptive when it comes to your “school sessions”, always entering the office to get your attention “expert medical opinion” on something or your help with an injury. Doc honestly can’t tell which one is more annoying, since they both take up your time in varying ways.

Deimos will be very dramatic most of the time, complaining about how he’s bruised himself really badly or how he thinks he has a heart murmur or something to that effect. Most of the time you know what he’s doing, but you humor him anyway for reasons Doc can’t understand. He finds his comments irritating, especially when he makes jabs his way.

(Deimos seemed elated when you easily agreed to dress the wounds on his hands, sitting back on your table before turning his head to Doc for a brief moment. “Teacher’s Pet,” he greeted with an irritating smirk, though it fell a bit when Doc raised his brow, silently communicating an “and?” (Cause he wasn’t exactly put off by the childish taunt especially since it was true.) But they both turned to you when you stifled a laugh, turning to give Deimos a look of slight admonishment as you walked back to them.

“Quit bullying my nurse, Dei,” you joked as you gestured for the grunt to lean forward, and 2B felt an odd stirring in his chest at your words. Ordinarily he’d hate such a term for him, but being your nurse didn’t sound too bad. Then again, he’d love to be yours in any capacity, so it made sense.)

Hank, on the other hand, is a lot more self-destructive in his strategies. This is where his penchant for self-injury tends to come in the most, though sometimes he’ll even choose to fake being sick if it steals you away from Doc for a few moments. What’s worse is that 2BDamned can’t even disprove his claims, since he has no idea what Hank’s like when he’s sick anyway.

(He watched with a frown as you fretted over the tall grunt, leaning up on your tip-toes to feel his forehead with your palm. Your worry only seemed to get worse when he leaned into you a lot more, almost like he was on the edge of passing out. But Doc knew better. He’d literally been fine three minutes ago, this sudden “fever” of his only taking hold when he noticed the close way you and 2B were sitting, with your thighs pressed together and his chin resting on your shoulder. Of course, when the merc barged into the room, you’d jolted out of your seat to greet him, and Doc was left feeling a lot colder at your absence.)

It’s moments like these where he’s more grateful for Sanford. Though a large part of him wishes that he wasn’t even with this team, to begin with. Perhaps you should take a trip with him back to Nevada Central? You’d mentioned wanting to meet Skinner, and it’d be the perfect excuse to get away from the others for a while. Maybe then he’d have you all to himself for a while longer, just like he’s always wanted.

[yooniesim]

Hey loves! I've had a few days to rest and think about things, and thankfully I'm in a much better headspace than I was then. So now that I'm clear headed, I just wanted to make a post to explain a bit more about what's been going on and what will happen with my blog in the future.

First;; the situation with corpsetrait. For those that don't know, I addressed this briefly while on my hiatus a few days ago. I was going through some pretty heavy stuff both online and IRL with myself & my family (several of which being hospitalized), to the point where I was simply not in a place to deal with any of this. I was trying to avoid being online in any way due to continued bigoted harassment to the point of doxxing, and I have a firm dislike of any content from anonymous hate websites, so my first instinct was to stay out of this online issue and tend to myself and my family until I could research the issue properly. I think that would've been fine with just tumblr, but due to me also having a large server with that being as a member, it painted a picture of enabling that being and caused discomfort and hurt to others within the server. Due to my own problems, I couldn't see this, and eventually had a meltdown to be honest. I was dissociating heavily from fear & pain and did just about anything I could to try to get it to stop, from lashing out to excessive apologizing. There are posts in my drafts you will never see & some of them I barely remember writing. I recently privated several posts I made during it, as well as spoke to Veone & apologized to her for my actions and how I spoke to her, because it was inappropriate. She accepted my apology and acknowledged that I wasn't in the right mindset to respond properly, which I'm very thankful for. Dollie/Corpsetrait has been kicked from my server since Saturday and has also deactivated rots simblr & main blog as far as I'm aware.

Second;; speaking of the server. At first, I had the intention of closing the server completely, and most of the members were kicked. But I've decided instead to clean it up and make it a better place, for those that wanted to stay. Thus, there have been a few changes. The tea-chat channel, which was originally intended just for petty complaining and silly happenings on simblr, was closed. Too many hostile arguments over unrelated topics were happening, and to be frank, it was verging away from petty and into disrespectful. It should've never been a place for political arguments or name-calling. It was also far too difficult to moderate properly with the amount of mods I have and the personal problems I was going through. And I'm truly sorry for that and anyone that was hurt by the discussions that took place there. I've since modified the rules of the server to disallow disrespectful arguments of any kind or insults against members of the server or people on simblr. There's also a warning and ban system in place to aid in moderation. The server is now private due to raid attempts, but those that want to join are welcome to DM me or send me an off-anon ask for access. I don't blame any former members for leaving and if they ever want to return, they're welcome to.

Third;; the future of my blog. Although I've never been shy about sharing my opinion, it's become... frankly, exhausting. There's a lot of bad shit on simblr, and at the same time, simblr is fickle- especially with anyone it expects to hear opinions from, and the right opinions at that. And I've never felt more jaded with it than I have in the last few days. Although many reactions were justified, some of what I've seen said about me has been so vile and sickening, and even outright untrue, that it was almost worse than what I've seen on other websites that simblr thinks it is above. All accepted with no proof, and little sense of empathy. No one is obligated to empathize with another person, but in the absence of that, all I can beg is something that I've been telling you since I've been here: don't take information at face value or opinions as fact, and consider the bias and perspective of your sources of information. I'll be reminding myself regularly to do the same, and think deeply about what I post before I post it. Because it's far too easy to fall deep into a sea of negativity and lose yourself and your kindness in the process. My voice won't be gone completely, there are still issues in the community that are important to address from time to time, but I don't want that to be a main focus anymore. From now on, I want to concentrate on what this blog was created for: the sims! And just more positive content in general. Because I don't like what it (or my persona on this platform) has become currently. It's hurting me, it's hurting others, and that needs to stop.

Finally;; thank you to those that have messaged me and shown me compassion through these past few weeks. It's meant more to me than you may ever know. It's one thing to say you support those suffering, especially from harassment and with mental illness; it's another to actually do so when they're showing unpleasant symptoms and sides of themselves. No one is ever obligated to show that support or accept an apology from someone that has hurt them, so I consider doing so at all to be an act of kindness. And such acts kept me from spiraling further in one of the darkest periods of my 28 years on this earth. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi, I was wondering if there is any fics that contained anathema trying to get crowley and azirphaeal to confess their feelings? Idm is its human au or not

Hello. We have some matchmaker Anathema fics here, and I’ve got a few more when she tries to get Aziraphale and Crowley together...

Let's Start the New Year Right by EveningStarcatcher (G)

Crowley has been crushing on the man who owns the bookshop across the street from his work for months, but only from afar. When his friend Anathema drags him to a New Years Eve party, he finds himself face to face with the strange and beautiful man of his affections.

For the OTP Prompt event! Based on the prompt: Aziraphale and Crowley go separately to a New Year's Party and end up standing next to each other during the countdown to midnight

Only The Good Die Young [Good Omens AU] by derpstiel (NR)

Crowley is a musician, living from pay check to pay check. Aziraphale is a rich, upper class man with his life laid out ahead of him. They couldn't be more different.

But when the two meet at a party, they discover they may have more in common than they thought.

Light, fun, fluffy, with a hint of sad pasts. Ultimately a meet-cute.

Low Expectations by Mimsynims (T)

Despite his better judgement, Anathema manages to drag Aziraphale out to a nightclub.

"You’ll never meet anyone by sitting at home, alone.”

“Is that why you wanted me to come along?”

“Yes, book boy. I know you’d love to meet Mr Right in the library or a random bookshop, but since that hasn’t happened yet, I thought we’d try something else.”

To say that he has low expectations is an understatement, but then someone unexpected catches his eye...

A Toast to the Happy Couple by FeatherBlack (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley receive an invitation to Anathema and Newt's wedding which includes Anathema's phone number. To be polite, Aziraphale calls to give his congratulations and ends up invited to help plan the wedding! Little did he know it would be his relationship with Crowley that had everyone's attention.

Or, Crowley is helplessly pining and everyone can see it. Newt tries to help and makes it worse.

Something That Happens To Other People by Caedmon (E)

Anthony J. Crowley is a hotshot political reporter who's landed himself in hot water with his editor. He finds himself demoted to the society desk, where he is assigned to cover the wedding of Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer. He'd rather chew tin foil than lower himself in such a way, but if he's going to claw his way back to the top, he's going to have to prove himself.

Aziraphale Fell is the most sought-after wedding planner in all of London, hailed as the 'angel of love' due to his knack for picking couples who have the most successful marriages. He spends his working hours making other peoples' dreams come true... but his own dreams of romance died long ago. To his mind, love is something that happens to other people.

Sparks fly when these two cross paths, and they find themselves instantly attracted to one another. But can Crowley prove Aziraphale’s belief about love to be wrong?

secondhand smoke by PaintedVanilla (T)

you're second hand smoke, second hand smoke i breathe you in, but, honey, i don't know what you're doing to me mon chéri

the year is 1990, and anthony crowley is looking for a church in london that might be tolerable. the one he winds up attending isn't exactly such, but he decides to stick around for one reason. said reason happens to own a bookshop that crowley begins to frequent, much to the surprise and delight of anathema device and newton pulsifer, who seem quite convinced that crowley could use something else to focus on besides gardening, their campaigns, and visits to tadfield.

- Mod D

[pikapeppa]

Garrus Vakarian x f!Shepard: Crick

Hello friends and loved ones: I am dipping my toe into Shakarian fic. Haven’t quite decided yet how much to commit to writing this pairing in detail, so here’s a little oneshot set just after the Horizon mission in ME2. ~2400 words. (Tumblr only for now, but I’ll post on AO3 if I decide to write more.)

******************************

Garrus sighed as he made his way to the main battery room. There was a stiff feeling in the left side of his neck and shoulder when he tilted his head, and he was annoyed by it. It was his own fault, really; he’d fallen asleep at his weapons modification table again last night and woken with this crick in his neck that wouldn’t go away.

It was one of those times when he really wished he could get a proper hammer massage. There was that one place on the Citadel that did real Palavenese massage, the good kind that you really felt vibrating all the way through your carapace into your bones, but Garrus wasn’t sure if Shepard would be ordering them back to the Citadel anytime soon.

It’s just a crick, he reminded himself. It could be so much worse. The fight they’d just gone through on Horizon had been… a tough one, to say the least. Any fight with an unfamiliar new enemy could be unnerving, but seeing that Harbinger thing jumping from body to body during the fight had almost been enough to make Garrus pause.

Almost, but not quite. Archangel never hesitated or missed his shot. 

He stepped into the main battery room and took a deep breath, then released it in a satisfied sigh. The air in here smelled like clean plastic and a hint of metal, and he savoured the relaxing smell just as he did every time he stepped into this room after a hard fight. 

He flicked on the monitors and cracked the joints in his fingers, then started his usual routine of checking the gun settings – a routine that was more for comfort now than necessity, if he was being totally honest. Cerberus might be a pack of crazies doing their twisted human experiments, but they sure made a mighty fine canon. 

He finished up his calibrating routine, and he was just about to move on to studying the Collector particle rifle that Shepard had salvaged when he heard the distinct beep-and-shunk of the door unlocking. A second later, the doors slid open, and Shepard stepped through. 

She nodded briskly. “Garrus. Just checking in. You doing okay after that fight?”

“I’m just fine, Shepard,” he assured her. “I was about to start looking at your new toy here, actually.”

“That’s great,” she said. “It looks like a powerful little piece of tech. Something we can turn to our advantage, you think?”

“I don’t doubt it,” he said. “There’s nothing I find more satisfying than using the enemy’s own weapons against them.”

A small smile crossed her face, just as he’d hoped it would. He hadn’t seen a smile on her face all day, not since the Collectors had gotten away with the population of Horizon’s colony. Kaidan’s angry lecture probably hadn’t helped things, either. 

She huffed and leaned an elbow on the weapons mod table. “That’s pretty bloodthirsty of you, Garrus.” 

“Bloodthirsty? Me? Never,” he said. “Thirsty for justice, on the other hand…”

She laughed — a husky rolling sound that always reminded him, for some reason, of brandy-filled chocolates. “What a line. Did your time on Omega inspire you to dip your toe into writing noir mystery novels?”

“What if it did?” he said playfully.

“Then I’d tell you stick to your dayjob,” she replied.

It was Garrus’s turn to chuckle. Shepard smiled at him once more, then straightened up and nodded at the particle rifle. “I know you just got started here, but I’m interested to see what you find. Mind if I watch you working for a while?”

“No problem,” he said. “Might ask you to throw up a barrier for your own protection, though. This thing doesn’t use conventional heat sinks. I’m not sure yet if it can even be fully turned off.”

She nodded and cast herself a barrier with a quick clench of her fist, and Garrus got to work studying the Collector rifle. He scanned it to build a schematic and explained the exploded view to Shepard, and she frowned thoughtfully and asked questions about the weapon’s uses and disadvantages, and all the while, as he often did, he wondered what she was really thinking. 

By any objective standards, it had been a bad day. They’d just watched most of a human colony get taken away by the Collectors. Her former lieutenant had accused her of crimes against her race right after a really tough fight, and when they’d boarded the Normandy once more, the Illusive Man had told her that he’d actually incited the Collectors to target Horizon. 

If Garrus was in Shepard’s place, he’d be vibrating with anger by now. But here she was, watching him dismantle a gun with the calmest look on her face. 

A solid half hour later, when he’d finished thoroughly surveying the rifle, he tapped his visor from its analysis mode back into its resting mode and looked at her. “I think that’s about all I’m going to do with this rifle for today. You need me for anything else?”

“Nothing else for now,” she said. “Thanks for the demonstration. I’ll talk to you later.” She stepped back toward the door. 

On a sudden whim, he opened his mouth. “Shepard, hang on a second.”

She turned back to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated. Now he was wondering if the question at the tip of his tongue was too personal. He and Shepard were friends, sure, but his question might touch a bit of a sore spot, given what had happened today. If Garrus knew anything about Shepard, it was that she wasn’t much of one for talking about her feelings when missions didn’t go as expected. Not that Garrus was a talky-feely sort of guy, either, but still… 

She raised her eyebrows expectantly, and he shook himself. He’d called her to turn around; he had no choice but to ask now. “Are you doing okay?” 

Her eyebrows rose higher. “Sorry?”

“This whole Collector business on Horizon,” he clarified. “I know it didn’t go down the way we wanted, and then with the Illusive Man being, you know… illusive.” He lifted his shoulders. “It can’t have been easy.”

Her blue-black eyes crinkled at the corners. “You worrying about me, Vakarian?” 

“A little, maybe,” he said. “You’ve only taken a dig at me once today.”

Another smile flashed across her face, but it was gone a second later, smoothed back into her usual businesslike expression. “I’m all right,” she said. “It’s a hit to have lost the colony, but we’ll save the next one. I’ll make sure of it.”

He nodded. “Seeing Kaidan was a bit of a shock, huh?”

She huffed and folded her arms. “It wasn’t ideal, but that’s the way it is. He’s got his mission, and we’ve got ours. We can’t lose our focus over personal feelings.”

Garrus nodded again. Everything she was saying was reasonable and true, and her calm attitude was envious, really. If Garrus was able to keep his calm like Shepard did… well, he’d tried to channel Shepard’s calm while he was on Omega, but it had only gotten him so far. Garrus had never known anyone, human or otherwise, who kept their cool all the time quite the way Shepard did. 

And yet, for some reason, he just… he wasn’t sure. Her manner struck him as a little bit off, somehow, like the feeling of the crick in his neck.

She lifted her eyebrows. “Anything else?”

“How do you do it?” he said bluntly.

She blinked. “Do what?”

“Keep it together all the time,” he said. “You never seem uncertain. You always seem to know what you’re doing, even if you can’t possibly know. I have to admit, I envy you,” he admitted. “How is it that you always manage to keep it together?”

She didn’t reply right away. Instead, she just stared at him without speaking, and Garrus started to feel a little awkward. It was hard to tell from the look on her face, but he thought that maybe she was… was she angry? Surprised? Bored, maybe? He couldn’t quite tell. Human expressions were usually easy to interpret, with their fleshy lips stretching and pouting and their eyebrows leaping up and down. But when Shepard was in her ‘commander’ mode, she could be so damned hard to read. 

She glanced at the closed door. Then, to his surprise, she walked over to him and sat in his chair. 

She raked her long black bangs back from her face and looked up at him. “You want to know my secret?” she said.

“Secret?” he said blankly. “To what?”

“To staying calm all the time,” she said. “Can I tell you my secret?”

“Um, sure,” he said. 

She leaned toward him, and he instinctively stooped down a bit to hear her better — a good thing that he did, since her voice was low and conspiratorial when she spoke. 

“I cry in the shower,” she said.

His guts twisted in a funny way. “What?”

She leaned back in his chair. “I cry in the shower,” she said. “When something really fucked up happens, I get in the shower at the end of the day and I cry like hell.”

He stared at her wordlessly. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected her to say, but it wasn’t this. 

A little smile curled the corners of her lips. “What’s wrong? Not the answer you were hoping to hear?”

“It’s — it’s not that,” he said. “I’m just, uh, surprised. You cry in the shower?”

“Yep,” she said. “Not bullshitting you, I promise. This is not a bet with Joker or anything like that.”

He tried to gather his wits. “So… what, you cry in the shower, and then you just… get back to being Commander Malin Shepard, saviour of the Citadel and resident Reaper conspiracist?”

She chuckled. “Exactly. It’s like a purge. Works perfectly every time.”

He nodded slowly, feeling like he needed some time to process this, and Shepard huffed and punched his arm in a friendly manner.  “Not so impressed with me anymore, huh?”

That wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t that he was unimpressed. But now he was actually worried about her. In all the time Garrus had known her, he had never once imagined her crying about anything. If what she was telling him was true, though…

Hang on. How often did she cry in the shower, exactly? No, he couldn’t ask that — it would definitely be overstepping. 

He scrambled to find a clever reply. “It’s not that,” he said. “Actually, I’m jealous.”

She laughed. “Jealous? Why?” Then her eyebrows rose. “Wait, can turians cry?”

“Sure,” Garrus said. “But we don’t do it often.”

“Is it hard for you to cry?” she asked.

“Well, the turian military doesn’t exactly encourage you to curl up in the corner for a little weeping time,” he said dryly.

She snorted. “Not what I meant. I was more wondering if, uh, since you have deep eye sockets, maybe your tears collect in there somewhere…?”

He flared his mandibles in amusement. “Tears don’t collect in a little reservoir under our eyes or something, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he drawled. “But yeah, we can cry. It just doesn’t happen much. Which leads me to the jealousy,” he added. “You get to sit in your shower crying whenever you feel like it? Forget the private cabin: that’s the real luxury of being the commander.”

She laughed again, more heartily this time, and the husky warmth of her laughter was such that Garrus could almost taste the sweet bite of brandy and bittersweet chocolate. “Well, if you ever want to try it sometime, let me know.”

“Try what?” he said. “Crying in the shower?”

“Yep,” she said. “You can borrow my private shower instead of using the shared showers down here, if you want. The walls are soundproof, so nobody can hear you wailing.”

For a split second, an image flashed across his mind: Shepard’s private shower. No, not just Shepard’s private shower: Shepard’s private shower, with Shepard in it. Shepard naked in the shower — what did her body look like under those clothes, he wondered? — and he, Garrus, joining her in the shower —

Wait. Wait a second. Why was he thinking about that? He shouldn’t be thinking about that. It was Shepard, for crying out loud: his friend and his CO. Who did he think he was, to imagine his human female CO naked in the shower? 

He scrambled to get his thoughts back on track. “I’ll, uh, let you know,” he said. “Might have to train my eyes how to cry, it’s been so long.”

She smirked. “Nice try, Vakarian. Something tells me you’re not quite that heartless.”

He chuckled — a little weakly, to be truthful, but Shepard didn’t seem to notice; she was rising from his chair with a smile. “Well, I should go. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” he echoed, and he watched her surreptitiously as she left the room. Once she was gone, he sat in his chair and closed his eyes. 

Crying in the shower… he honestly wouldn’t have guessed it. He’d expected her to give him some kind of encouraging advice or bolstering words of wisdom, like the sorts of things she said to the team before they set off on a mission. But somehow, hearing her say she cried in the shower was… interesting. It made him think about her in a different way. He was worried for sure, but also… comforted, somehow, to know that even Shepard got overwhelmed enough to cry. It seemed that under all that heavy N7 armour, she really was a regular person, too. 

Under all that heavy N7 armour… A flash of a thought projected itself on his closed eyelids: Shepard stripping off her armour, her slender human fingers raking her sweat-dampened bangs back from her face, the small bare patch at the nape of her neck where her short spiky hair faded into light golden-brown skin… 

He snapped open his eyes. Was he drifting off? He must be more tired than he thought. No other reason that he’d keep thinking about Shepard like this. 

He rose from his chair and rolled his shoulders, then clicked in his mandibles in annoyance as the crick in his neck announced itself once more. “Really could use a damned massage,” he muttered. Well, he’d just have to suck it up and wait until they got back to the Citadel.

In the meantime, he’d just have to cope with the strange nagging feeling of the crick in his neck.

[longlivefeedback]

(1/?) Hi! I wanted to ask the mods' opinions about something that's been cooking in my mind for a while: to what extent are writers responsible for providing feedback? There are a lot of writers in my fandom who lament the lack of comments but don't stop to review or read each other's work. I understand that people are busy and that they'd rather use the time to write their own stories before inspiration leaves. so I don't blame anyone but-

Hello Anon!

There's a lot going on in your ask, so I'm going to quote back parts of your ask and respond to them individually.

to what extent are writers responsible for providing feedback?

None. Writers have zero obligation to respond or even read comments left on their fic much less read and give feedback on other works. There is no law or rule or regulation mandating anyone to provide any feedback on fanworks.

Would it be nice if they did? Sure.

Would fandom culture be better if more people interacted with each other? Maybe.

Is there any responsibility or obligation to do so? No.

Fandom runs on love. And everyone loves differently.

There are a lot of writers in my fandom who lament the lack of comments but don't stop to review or read each other's work.

Yes, that does seem greedy of them, but it could be that their "laments" are more venting. It's just a feeling that they need to get off their chest so that they can move on and do other things. Just a possible thought.

If it's the case that all the writers are sitting in a room and complaining to each other about how no one is reviewing or reading their work, then the solution is quite simple: Do a comment exchange. Everybody picks another person's work to read and comment on.

Maybe this way, the culture of complaining will turn into a culture of commenting.

I understand that people are busy and that they'd rather use the time to write their own stories before inspiration leaves. so I don't blame anyone but it feels counterproductive for writers to say they don't read while writing, don't have time to comment because they're writing, etc. since they're always writing and can allegedly never read.

Counterproductive to what? There are writers who don't read while writing because it interferes with their writing process. Maybe they feel like reading uses a different part of their brain than writing does and switching between the two is exhausting. Maybe they don't read while writing out of fear that they will be inadvertently swayed and influenced in their writing style or plot ideas. I once read Pride and Prejudice and then felt like I spoke with a British accent for the next four days. I am not British.

Point is, writing is a process and everyone's process is different. If it means not reading in order for you to write, then so be it. You don't have to be a reader, writer, or commentor to be a fan.

I don't think writers with this mindset should be obligated to provide feedback of course. I'm wondering if it plays a role in the feedback drought though, and I'm not sure if this is a problem.

I don't know.

The way you use the words "feedback drought" and "problem" indicate to me that you have an implicit expectation about feedback:

You expect a certain level of feedback and anything below that is a "feedback drought."

There should be a certain level of feedback so if this level is not met, it is a "problem."

The thing is, this is a subjective belief on your part. I love feedback and comments on my work just as much as the next writer. But I do not expect it.

I would be sad if no one commented on my work, but I am not bitter. I brace myself for the worse: i.e. zero comments, so that when it happens, I am emotionally prepared. I mitigate the need for comments by always getting a fandom friend (or as this post calls them, an enabler) to read the draft before I post and give me feedback. I try to find and focus on the joy and sense of accomplishment I get from writing as a craft, and avoid relying on it as a vessel for validation. Zero feedback is not a problem when I am not looking for it.

It just feels odd to criticize others for something they're unable/unwilling to do themselves

Yes it is odd. If they're complaining for the sake of complaining, then let them complain with an "in one ear and out the other" attitude.

If they're being hypocrites, then either call them out on it and try to influence their behaviour, or just recognize that they're being shitty and remove yourself from the negativity.

Writers. Seriously. It's hard enough to write. Why do you make it even harder for yourselves by making your happiness dependent on external responses from things you cannot control, instead of finding joy in the pure act of creating?

[ibuki-loves-you]

Killed for a Hopeful Future (Nagito Komaeda x Reader)

Warnings: Angst, mentions of suicide, domestic stuff, detailed descriptions of murder, mentions of v/mit, potential spoilers???

Mod Ibuki: Another piece me and @call-me-ko worked on together! Execution based off this fan-made one! I hope you enjoy!

Sobs were all that could be heard throughout the small cottage.

Heavy, distraught sobs.

Nagito sat in his bed, the bed Y/N often accompanied him in. Heavy sobs racked his body. He doesn't think he's cried this hard in his entire life.

His love, his world, was gone.

It was like they were taken right out from under him.

One gunshot wound to the chest and bruises around their neck. Their leg looked broken, probably from the fall.

Y/N's body was hung from the door of strawberry house and dropped all the way to grape house's floor. Blood was everywhere due to the gunshot wound.

When Nagito saw, he thought he was going to die himself. No one told him that they were the victim. They just said they didn't know who it was yet.

He didn't get to say goodbye

He didn't get to tell them that he loved them.

He didn't-

"Nagito!" Fuyuhiko yelled. Nagito swung his head around, glaring at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nagito stated. Fuyuhiko stayed quiet. "Simple question. Is it really that hard to answer?" He snapped. Fuyuhiko didn't say anything. Kazuichi shakily sighed. "W-We didn't want to make you panic."

Nagito scoffed. "A little late for that, isn't it?"

Nagito investigated your body himself. He didn't trust anyone. You were loved by everyone here, and yet you still died. It didn't add up.

Bing Bong Bing Bong

Bing Bong Bing Bong

"Nagito... it's time for the trial." Hajime mumbled apologetically. Nagito nodded slowly.

"Give me a minute..." He responded. "Of course." Hajime said softly, moving to the elevator.

Nagito dropped to his knees in front of them. Tears started streaming down his face.

"Who did this? Angel...who did this to you?" He mumbled, stroking Y/N's head. "I promise...your killer will get what they deserve." Nagito placed a kiss on their forehead.

He began making his way towards the elevator.

Justice would be served

"The murder occurred at around 5:30 am." Hajime started.

"The murder weapon was a noose found at the scene, but they also had a wound in their chest. I think a gunshot. That could be the cause of death as well." Chiaki added.

"It was the cause of death." Nagito interrupted. "How else could they have fallen?"

"Fallen...?" Chiaki asked. Nagito scoffed.

"I'm not looking to play games this trial. I want to know the blackened as soon as I possibly can so let me tell you this so you can put everything together." Nagito said angrily.

"Strawberry house and grape house are connected. It's an elevator. Y/N died beforehand via gunshot. That means the killer went to the Final Dead Room. I would know because I went there. The elevator won't move if a living thing is detected. It moved because they were dead already. The killer tied a noose around their neck and tied the other end to the doorknob. Then, they activated the elevator. Eventually, Y/N would fall because that's how gravity works. Now, figure out who killed them." Nagito snapped. He explained the murder in perfect detail, no flaw.

With Nagito's explanation, soon enough they found the killer.

"Gundham...why did you do it?" Hajime asked, a solemn expression painted onto his features. 

Gundham stood silent. After a moment, he took a breath.

"We had a plan." He muttered. "Please explain." Hajime requested, taking a few glances at a fuming Nagito.

"Y/N and I agreed that we would allow all of you to escape at the expense of our lives. I completed the Final Dead Room, and we planned the murder from there." Gundham started.

"We wanted you to survive. Y/N didn't go down without a fight, nor did I. I request you remember that." Gundham looked towards Nagito. He dug through his pocket and pulled out a key. He walked over to Nagito and held it out.

"It is the key to their cottage. I didn't know if you had one or not, either or I assumed they'd want you to have it." Nagito took the key silently.

"I don't expect forgiveness, nor do I want it. But one thing I want you all to carry from mine and Y/N's demise is that you must always fight. Do not go down without one."

With that, Gundham was dragged to his execution.

And that's how he ended up in his room clutching a piece of your clothing while he bawled his eyes out.

Bing Bong Bing Bong

Bing Bong Bing Bong

"Please make your way to Jabberwock Park! Not attending will result in immediate death! See you soon! Puhuhuhuhu~"

Nagito looked at the monitor. Should he even attend? He didn't care whether he died or not.

After contemplation he decided to go. He dried his eyes and placed your belonging neatly on his bed. Nagito made his way out the door and to Jabberwock Park.

Upon arrival, everyone gave him pitied stares. He looked horrible, worse than he usually did, and he knew that.

"Are you alright?" Chiaki spoke. Nagito looked at her and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"No, not really. But you shouldn't worry! I'll be fine." That was a lie, even he didn't believe it.

"Allow me to introduce the new motive. Future visions!" Monokuma announced. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"We aren't gonna do that shit!" Fuyuhiko screamed. "Yeah, like we'd believe it!" Nekomaru hollered after. Nagito stayed silent.

Future visions? He didn't believe in any of that, but it's worth a look, right?

When everyone left Jabberwock Park, mainly out of anger towards Monokuma, Nagito looked at the vision motive.

A character select button appeared on a screen that seemingly came out of nowhere. He selected himself. A video began to load.

"Alright, let's go see baba." Nagito cooed. He took his daughter's hands and gently pulled her to her feet. The baby giggled in response.

"Ready? One step at a time." Nagito looked up at Y/N. They sat on the other side of the living room, smiling at the two. Nagito gave them a bright smile. With small steps of his own, he guided their daughter in Y/N's direction.

Their child shook their hands from Nagito's. Nagito let go and smiled, keeping close behind her.

Y/N opened their arms and their daughter stumbled into them. Nagito hurried over with a wide smile.

"You did it, baby! I'm so proud of you!" Nagito cheered. His daughter crawled out of Y/N's arms and into his. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"And you say she isn't a daddy's girl." Y/N teased. Nagito smiled and kissed his daughter's cheek over and over, earning a giggle in response.

"Yeah, I guess I see where you're coming from." Nagito leaned forward and gave you a kiss.

"I love you, angel." "I love you too, Nagi."

Nagito stared at the screen with a mix of horror and awe. He moved his hands towards his pale face and rubbed his temples. He took his hand and selected Y/N’s character.

“Daddy! Higher!” His daughter giggled, gripping the chains of the swing. Nagito chuckled

“A little higher, okay?” Nagito compromised. She giggled and nodded. “Okay daddy!”

Y/N smiled from next to Nagito, watching as he booped her nose every time the swing came towards him.

“Baba! Look how high I’m going!” Their daughter called. Y/N giggled and nodded.

“I see! You’re almost as tall as me and daddy from up there!” Y/N said, a smile gracing their features. Nagito nodded in agreement, a huge smile on his face. He turned his head to face his lover.

“Look how happy she is.” He mumbled, chuckling everytime she giggled.

“Daddy keep pushing me!” She said when he stopped for a moment. Nagito laughed and continued pushing the swing.

“She really is such a happy kid.” Y/N smiled throughout their sentence. Nagito wrapped one arm around Y/N’s waist and used the other to push the swing.

That was his future? Or would’ve been?

Nagito put his forehead against the screen and started crying again.

He couldn’t help but feel selfish because he wanted that more than anything.

Soon enough his tears turned to crazed wheezes, laughter shaking his body.

Hope and despair mixed in his eyes once again. He had nothing to lose…

So why not get himself killed? Or better yet get them killed. It's all their fault after all, Y/N did nothing to them yet they had to die.

Bing Bong Bing Bong

Bing Bong Bing Bong

“A body has been discovered! Please make your way to the warehouse on the fifth island!”

Everyone dropped what they were doing and made their way to the warehouse next to the factory while Nagito took his time. Everything went according to plan. Now all he had to do was wait. Whether he survived the trial or not didn’t matter much to him, since one way or another he would die.

Suicide or execution was the question now.

“The victim is Nekomaru Nidai, the Ultimate Team Manager. The murder weapon is unknown, but definitely a tool of some sorts as he was taken apart.” Hajime started. 

“Trip wire was found at the scene.” Kazuichi added. “So we can assume that was definitely used, especially since he has scratched on his ankles. Well, as scratched as metal can be.”

“Killer probably pressed the power button after using the trip wire, right?” Fuyuhiko questioned. Hajime nodded. “Most likely.”

Sonia put a finger to her chin. “So what you are saying is the killer used tripwire, and then powered Nekomaru off?” Hajime nodded again.

“Who would want to kill Nekomaru? He was so kind to us all.” Akane muttered. “I can’t answer that, I wish I could. But for now all we can do is find his killer.” And with that the trial was officially underway.

“So this is how it happened.” Hajime started. “Nekomaru was lured to the factory’s warehouse by an anonymous letter. He assumed whoever it was he would be able to handle, so he expected a fight. What he didn’t expect was tripwire a few feet away from the door. With his height, I wouldn’t expect him to see it either. Nor would I expect it myself. After Nekomaru fell into the tripwire, his head slammed into the floor, causing him to be weakened for a moment. It may not have been a long moment, but it was enough for the killer to rush into action and press his power button on the back of his neck. When the power button was pressed and Nekomaru was officially powered off, the killer took him apart using a variety of tools found at the market. This explains the mess of oil we found. The killer scattered his parts all around the warehouse and factory, thus leading to us having to find the parts and put them together for investigation.”

Hajime turned to the podium across from his.

“Isn’t that right, Nagito Komaeda? The Ultimate Lucky Student…”

Nagito smiled that crazed grin of his. His eyes were swirling with hope and despair once again.

“Yep! You are absolutely right!” He laughed. Hajime winced while Akane banged on her podium in sheer anger.

“Why, Nagito?” Hajime asked. Nagito continued to laugh. “Isn’t it obvious? I wanted to die!” He said as if it was nothing. Akane growled. “So why didn’t you kill yourself!?” Nagito’s laughs died down, his emotions doing a complete 180.

“Because I wanted to kill you all as well.” He said simply. Everyone looked as if they’d seen a ghost.

“W-What?” Hajime whispered. “Did I stutter? You guys were the reason Y/N died! Y-You took them away from me!” Nagito screamed. He dropped to his knees behind his podium, sobs beginning to consume him once again.

“I-I could’ve had a life with them...We w-would’ve been happy a-and I w-would’ve had a d-daughter.” Nagito mumbled weakly. “I just want Y/N...I-I want to see Y/N. P-Please just kill me already.” He pleaded.

Everyone looked at him with a mixture of sadness, pity, and fear.

“Who am I to disobey?” Monokuma said. “W-Wait, we need to talk more! We have more questions, bastard!” Fuyuhiko cursed. Monokuma ignored him. Nagito continued sobbing and clutching his podium.

“Let’s give it everything we’ve got! It’s punishment time!”

Nagito was set up straight, strapped to a wheel similar to one you’d see on a gameshow. Every section other than him was either Monomi or Monokuma.

Monokuma spun the wheel, causing him to start spinning with it.

It landed on Monomi.

Monokuma spun the wheel again. A wave of nausea hitting Nagito like a truck as his head began pounding.

It landed on Monokuma.

The wheel was spun once again. Nagito laid cursing his luck as he began throwing up in his mouth from the constant motion sickness.

The torture continued for nearly 15 minutes. A vicious cycle of spinning and choking on his own vomit.

Monokuma spun one last time, the wheel finally landing on Nagito. He smiled, elated that the torture was finally over.

Before he could blink, copious amounts of spears fired towards him. Out of many, only three struck him.

Two in each of his legs, and one in his chest.

As he slowly bled to death, all he could think about was one thing.

He was going to see them again.

[mod-kyoko]

May I request where Y/N and Hajime were together but as time pass by they slowly loses their interaction one another... Then Y/N decided to break up since their not that communicative and too busy of their life? fem reader please! angst go brrr 😭

heya :) angst do go brrr, i love it

anyway, here ya go!

cw: angst, breakups

drifting away (hajime x fem!reader)

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

it's not that you wanted this to happen

you were just... drifting away

it wasn't really the fault of either of you, but your studies had made you so busy you couldn't see each other much anymore

hajime was in a completely different class than you, so you rarely saw each other at school, and he would always make excuses when you asked to hangout on the weekend

you don't really know if they are the kind of excuses he would make up to get out of being with you, or if they were actually true

you can't really pinpoint when this all started

two months ago the two of you were laughing together, cuddling, doing all the things healthy couples do

what changed?

you didn't know, and you didn't care. hajime neglected you and now it was time for this relationship to end

miraculously, you were able to finally get hold of him one day, asking him to hangout at the park with you

a public setting is best for breakups

you didn't bother making yourself up all cutesy for him, you stopped doing that a long time ago

instead, you just threw on a most casual outfit, and left for the park

the drive was silent, but the what-if scenarios jolting around in your brain were loud

what if he didn't take it well? what if he acted out? what if you embarrassed yourself during it?

time that wasn't spent on freaking out was time spent on practicing your breakup speech

however, no number of practices could calm your heart that felt like it was going to jump through your chest

finally, you reached the park

you were the first one, so you sat on a nearby bench, clasping together your violently shaking hands

as more time passed by, the suspense sent your lungs and heart into an anxious frenzy, waiting for hajime to appear

finally, you saw him, lifting your arm to wave him over

he greeted you with a small smile, but it seemed forced

the way he walked toward your bench, he wasn't walking with purpose

he wasn't walking like he was just seeing his girlfriend for the first time in a while

more like, he was casually searching for an open seat on a bus

a slight frown curved your features as he sat down next to you, leaving a foot between you

"hey," you said first, averting eye contact

"hi," he answered, leaning in for a hug

you didn't hug back

hajime pulled away awkwardly, lifting his hand to his head, a gesture he makes when he doesn't know what else to do

you almost chuckled at how awkward of a person he is, but this wasn't the time for that

"there is something we need to talk about..." you began, still staring at the ground

"...what is it?" his tone, he knew what you meant

"i want to break up!" you blurted, taking in a sharp breath

a thick silence hung in the air between you two as you clenched your hands around your shirt

every second that passed by was anxietal agony, the feeling of hajime's eyes burning into the side of your head, hearing the wood creak as he awkwardly shifted on the bench

finally, thankfully, he ended the silence

"oh, okay..."

you sensed a twinge of hurt in his voice

he may not have expected this, though you felt he should have

"may i ask why?" he asked lowly, no longer staring at you

you glanced up, turning your gaze to him for the first time

"you know we've been drifting away, hinata," you answered gently, trying to reassure him with a kind smile, though you could feel tears welling up in your eyes

hajime was the first to actually start crying, but he was more silent

the tears slowly streaming down his cheeks were too much for you to look at

"i'm sorry," he croaked, sniffling, "i should have done better"

you didn't know what to say, all you could do was allow yourself to join him in sniffling and sobbing

"it's okay, we just weren't meant to be, that's all," you replied, your sobs becoming more and more uncontrollable

why were you so emotional?

you woke up sick of your relationship, you had been thinking about this for a while now, so why are you taking it so hard?

maybe part of you still wanted to be with him

"y/n, if it isn't too much, do you think i can hug you goodbye?" hajime asked, rubbing his eyes

he didn't give you much time to reply before adding to his question

"i'm so sorry for asking that, it's probably really weird, you don't have to..."

your hands were already on his back by the time he could finish

this was the first genuine hug you two had shared in weeks, but it would also be your last hug as a couple

but his hands around your shoulders only made the pain worse, and all of your efforts to not fall apart in front of him were thrown out the window

with a hiccup, you covered your mouth, and stood up

"i'm gonna go, hajime... i hope you'll be okay"

with that, you quickly ran away, leaving him to register what really just happened

you didn't see it, but while you were jogging back to your car, hajime was reaching out his hand as if to grab you and ask you to stay, but he knew he couldn't, and you wouldn't

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

Y'ALL GOTTA STOP ASKING ME TO WRITE FOR HAJIME BECAUSE NOW I'M STARTING TO LIKE HIM >:( /HJ /NM

anyways, w o w

i did enjoy writing that

-mod kyoko

[fanficshiddles]

Obsession, Chapter 16

It was the dreaded day.

Tom was excited, in-fact he was ecstatic to be going home. While Robyn was even more scared than she had been at the beginning when he had first kidnapped her.

She really DID NOT want to go. She knew that would be it, as soon as he got her there it would be over. There would be no chance of escaping. Which was a terrifying thought.

But she had ran out of time.

‘Now, you have two choices. You can either come with me calmly, quietly, and sit in the front with me. Or you can misbehave and get bundled into the boot again. It’s your choice.’ Tom offered when it was late evening and dark.

Robyn looked down, she was shaking at the mere thought of it all.

‘I’ll go quietly.’ She whispered.

Tom reached out and gripped her chin, lifting her head up so she was to meet his gaze. ‘Good choice. But know this, if you scream or cause a scene of any kind, you will be straight in the boot. Tied and gagged. Is that understood?’

Robyn swallowed hard and nodded. As much as she wanted to try and make some sort of scene to get help when outside, she knew it would take a while for someone to come and help. As it was so late, everyone would be in bed. And then she would be in worse trouble with him, something she didn’t want.

He tied rope around her ankles, so she could only take small steps. To avoid her running away again. He wasn’t taking any chances of that happening.

With a hand firmly wrapped around her upper arm, after he’d packed all of his things and her small bag into the car, he led her out of the house for the last time and over to his jag. She looked longingly across the road at her home, knowing she would never see it again. It made her heart ache so badly.

‘Come on, kitten.’ He guided her round and opened the passenger door for her. She reluctantly got in and Tom leaned across her to put her seatbelt on, deliberately taking his time. Then he shut the door and headed round to the driver’s side.

‘Are you excited to see your new home, darling?’ He asked calmly when he started up the engine.

‘No.’ She said stubbornly, but sadly as she looked out the window to her house again.

Tom slid his hand into her hair and took a fistful, forcing her head round to look at him. She hissed in pain as he hurt her scalp.

‘No is not a word I ever want to hear from you, kitten.’ He snarled, narrowing his eyes at her. ‘Do I make myself clear?’

She nodded, trembling. Tom released her hair and she shrunk as far away from him as she possibly could. While he drove, she looked out of the window the entire time. Ignoring his small talk completely.

He was taking her to the other side of the city, into the suburbs. She was so shocked when they ended up in the rich area, and turned down a fancy street. The houses were all huge and had massive fences between them for privacy, which figures, she thought.

Even though she knew he had sound proofed his home, she thought he wouldn’t have needed to anyway. The gardens were huge and there was so much space between all the houses as it was.

‘Ah, home at last.’ Tom hummed as he pulled up at one of the houses near the bottom of the road. He typed the code into a key pad and the large wooden gates swung open for him to drive in.

It was a lovely house, quite modern and had a lot of large windows. Seemed like it would be very bright and airy. Tom got out his car after pulling into the garage. The garage door was just closing as he got Robyn out, she looked at the door as it closed shut. Finalising her entrapment.

Tom untied her ankles so she could walk easier. Knowing if she even got out of the house, the fence was too high for her to climb over anyway.

‘Welcome home, kitten.’ He put his arm around her waist and led her inside.

Her eyes widened in awe when she stepped in.

It was a huge open plan living room and kitchen, it was really modern just like she had expected from the outside. There was a wall-to-wall window in the kitchen, looking out onto the large garden. The kitchen counter tops were a beautiful black marble with some colourful sparkles through it. It had all the mod cons, of course. Including a mini bar area.

The living room had a large fire on one wall, with a large flat screen TV above. There was a large half circle sofa in a dip in the middle of the room, with a big table in the middle. There was a pool table and dinner table at the side of the room, on front of a large window.

But what caught her attention was the huge aquarium that spanned a large area of the wall in the living room section. She was sure she could see another room at the other side of it, but she wasn’t sure because she was distracted by all the beautiful fish swimming around.

‘Come on, let me show you the best bit.’ He grinned and took hold of her hand, he dragged her over to a door that was just between the kitchen and living room, next to the fish tank. What she noticed first was the large bolt at the top of the door, out of her reach but easy for Tom to get to.

There was also a keypad at the side. Tom typed in a code, hidden from her view. There was a click and a green light flashed. He opened the door and motioned for her to go in.

She stepped into the room and was rather amazed once again. It was a large bedroom with a huge Queen-sized bed. She ignored the bars along the top and bottom, guessing rather easily what they would be for.

There was a large flat screen TV on the unit opposite the bed, a large wardrobe with large mirrors on the doors next to it. There was also a dressing table, with a hair dryer, straighteners and curlers on hooks at the side of it.

The aquarium had been aptly put where it was so Tom could keep an eye on her, no matter where she was in the house from wherever he was.

Tom opened another door that was on the same side as the TV, it was an en-suite bathroom. Tom hadn’t been lying when he said he got a large shower and bath installed. But she noticed on the small shelf above the sink, just under the mirror, there was two tooth brushes in a small cup with toothpaste.

He really had thought of everything for her. As she also noticed her favourite brand of shampoo, conditioner and body wash in the shower holder.

‘You have complete access to the bedroom and bathroom, of course. And when I’m here, I will unlock the door so you can go to the living room and kitchen too. The doors to the garden are always locked, you will get outside for fresh air daily, with me.’ Tom explained as he walked with her back into the bedroom.

She rubbed her arm nervously. It was certainly better than the previous place, much larger and she would have a lot more freedom instead of being tied to the bed and gagged most of the time. But that wasn’t the point.

She wanted her complete freedom back. Her life.

But if she thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did.

He took hold of her arm and led her back out into the main part of the house. There was another door leading off the living room, with a keypad for that room too.

This room didn’t have her in awe though, it made her feel physically sick.

It was like a torture room.

Or in Tom’s eyes, a BDSM room.

There was a fucking machine, a Sybian, wooden stocks, a chair with a hole in it, multiple table-like surfaces. There was various ropes of different size and texture hanging up next to some floggers and various sex toys.

She had only looked around the room once before she backed out of it straight away. Tom chuckled at her reaction of horror.

‘We are not going to play right now, kitten. You need time to settle in first.’ He grinned and shut the door, locking it with the code she was yet to see. But she knew she had to get that code.

‘Go to our room and get settled in.’ He said as he slid his hand down her back and gently patted her bum. He saw her through to her room and locked the door behind her.

He headed out to the garage and opened up the loft hatch next to his car, steps unfolded down for him automatically, he headed up and grinned when he saw the room was set up perfectly.

It was a large office he’d had built above the garage. His desk was set up with a computer and a few screens, showing various parts of the house through the security cams that was on in every single room, covering all areas. He sat down and watched his girl as she looked around the bedroom properly, the bathroom too.

‘That’s it, pet. Get accustomed to your new surroundings.’ He purred, rubbing his lower lip as he watched her closely.

‘You are going nowhere now.’

[brutal-nemesis]

E&T: The Armputation

Yeah. Yeah it’s time bitches :) you read it right we’re chopping that shit off

←Previous - Masterlist - Next→

Ingredients: amputation (omg wow), noncon surgery/body mod, body horror, slight gore

Erebus had sensed something was off when Neteri failed to bring him dinner one night, and when the guards appeared at his door the next morning instead of her, he knew what it meant.

It was time for another procedure.

He understood why she didn’t tell him it was coming, but having hardly any time to process that something was going to be drastically different about his body within the next hour wasn’t the best feeling. Before he knew it, he was on the table again, this time with his shirt off, that silly little rat drawing on the ceiling staring down at his restrained form. Maybe he should give it a name? That was something to focus on, and it’s not like he could see what Neteri was up to at her workbench with his head strapped down. After debating a bit, he settled on Zander, after a big black dog he’d played with sometimes as a kid. He missed seeing dogs. And cats. And birds and the sky and trees and flowers-

“Morning, Erebus!” Neteri seemed far too chipper for someone who was about to…do whatever she was going to do. “How are you feeling?”

“Not...great. Because I’m here. I don’t want to be here.” Even though I deserve to be.

“Yeah that’s expected. But nothing out of the ordinary?”

“Do I get out of this if I say yes?” She laughed and stroked his face.

“You’re fine.” He felt himself grow more and more nervous with anticipation as she rubbed something cold all over his right shoulder. Right there, she was going to cut him open and, and...what was she getting from her workbench? When she came back into view and he saw what she had, he felt his stomach drop. The knife she was holding was the most horrific looking instrument he’d ever seen. It was large and curved, and the fact that she was going to use it on him made it that much worse. 

“What,” he gulped, “what are you going to do to me?”

“Well...do you promise not to freak out?”

“Uh...no. You do realize that makes me more worried, right?”

“Oh, yeah I guess so. It’ll probably be better that you know the full plan beforehand anyway. So,” she put down the knife and clasped her hands, “I’m going to be replacing your arm.”

“Replacing my...with what, exactly?” 

“Another arm, of course. This one, to be exact.” She motioned to a box on the counter. “It’s from a lust demon.”

“Wait, you’re going to cut off my arm?!” Neteri nodded matter-of-factly as Erebus’s heart rate skyrocketed. He didn’t deserve that...did he?!

“I thought that was implied in the ‘replacing’ part, but yeah. Off with your right arm, on with this one.”

“You can’t just do that! That’s-you can’t just amputate my arm!”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d freak out.”

“Of-of course I’m freaking out! You want to cut off one of my limbs, for Drottkia’s sake!”

“I mean, yeah, but I’m going to give you a new one right away. So at the end of the day you’ll have the same number of arms you started with. It’s honestly not worth getting that worked up about.”

“Yes it is! You’re going to just-just attach someone else’s arm to my body! What in the world makes you think that’s not-” his voice cracked, and he realized there were tears streaming from his eyes. He didn’t want this, he was so, so afraid, and no matter how much he struggled and pleaded it was inevitable. 

“Shh, shh. That’s enough now, you’ll be alright,” Neteri said as she wiped away his tears. He hated the way she comforted him, as if she wasn’t the source of all his problems. She reached for something out of his line of sight, and he didn’t manage to get a good look before she shoved it in his mouth. It was just a wad of cloth, but it silenced all of his further protests. He struggled uselessly against the tight leather straps, but he could hardly move at all. There was nothing he could do as she picked up the knife again. There was nothing he could do as he felt the cold blade touch his skin. 

There was nothing he could do but wiggle the fingers of his right hand one last time while he still could. 

The knife sliced through the flesh of his arm in one swift stroke, pain exploding out from it so quickly that Erebus could hardly register it. He barely had time to scream before he felt her place another tool on the wreck of his arm. And when it started moving, he knew exactly what it was. That was a saw, that was a saw, she was sawing through his bone, the vibrations shaking him to the very core. All of a sudden, there was a quiet thud and the sawing stopped, causing a suffocating panic to descend over Erebus, threatening to crush him.

It was gone it was gone his arm was gone the arm he’d used to write and eat and draw and plant flowers and hug his mother one last time and hold his father’s hand as he died was gone and the horrific new one couldn’t replace that, not at all, not at all, but it was too late because it was gone. He heard her pick it up and take it away, leaving a gaping hole next to him on the table, a space that had always been filled before by his arm, but his arm was gone and there was nothing there, nothing at all.

But when he felt her set something else down in that empty space, and his stomach twisted. It was the arm, the one that wasn’t his, the one that was going to be attached to his body, that was going to be his. After fiddling with it a bit, she pressed it up against the stump, the cold demon flesh meeting that of a warm human. She started to stitch them together, and Erebus couldn’t help but whine at both the sting of the needle and the horror of what was happening to him. But once the stitching stopped, the healing magic started, and that was far, far more painful.

Erebus screamed into the gag as he was assaulted by waves of relentless agony, ebbing and flowing as each nerve and blood vessel was joined together. It felt like every pain sensor in the arm was lighting up all at once as the connections were forged, every imaginable anguish being played out in a single moment. And when the bones started to fuse, oh he could hardly breathe, it was like fiery splinters were stabbing up into his shoulder, as many pinpricks of agony as there were stars in the sky, and there was nothing, nothing in the world besides that stabbing pain and the hum of screams in his throat. But all at once, the intensity of the pain evaporated as Neteri’s magic ceased flowing. 

Erebus cautiously opened his eyes, looking at Zander the rat for a moment before turning his gaze to Neteri as much as the strap over his forehead would allow. He was shocked to see that she was clutching the edge of the table for support, breathing heavy as blood dripped steadily from her nose and ears. With a shaking hand, she pulled the gag from his mouth, her unfocused eyes meeting his tear-filled ones.

“Are you...okay?” she gasped between breaths. Erebus paused. He was absolutely, positively, nowhere near okay, but he knew what sort of answer she wanted.

“I’m...it still hurts, but not as much as before you, uh, started...connecting it.” Erebus replied, his voice painfully raspy from screaming. 

“Can you...can you move your fingers?” He hesitantly complied, and was relieved to feel the unfamiliar digits wiggling, even if it felt a little off. She nodded, looking between his hand and the place where she’d attached the arm. “Okay. Hang in there just a bit more.” She took a deep breath and placed her hands on the wound again. Her magic sparked to life, and Erebus could see it was hurting her, too, before he was consumed by his own pain. But it wasn’t long before the magic sputtered out again. Neteri nearly collapsed on top of him, catching herself at the last moment.

“I think...it’ll be good...good enough for now. I’m sure it’s not perfect...I promise I’ll fix it later but I...I need to stop or I’ll...” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry if...hurts...I know that...really painful...and you shouldn’t...more than necessary.” Opening her eyes, she pulled something out of her pocket before moving out of view. A few seconds later, the pair of guards from before came into the lab, shock flashing on their faces for a moment as they took in the bloodstained scene before them. Neteri came around the table, clutching something small and blue in one of her fists, seemingly a little more steady on her feet. She stood between Erebus and the guards, looking one of them dead in the eye.

“Take him back and give him something to take care of the attachment site, but I don’t want anyone else touching him, is that clear?” She jabbed a finger up at his face, her other hand clutching Erebus’s left arm tightly, either for support or out of possessiveness. “He is mine, and he can care for himself until I’m better.” She turned to the other guard. “I’ll probably need your help with a few things…”

Erebus let the guard take him back without a fuss after he was freed from the table. Trying to escape in this condition would just be dumb, and it’s not like there was much point in running with that spell on the brand. He was left alone in the cell with a roll of bandages and something to help fight off infection. But before he took care of the new wound, Erebus needed to wash off the blood that practically coated the right side of his body. There was so much of it on the arm...no, it was his right arm, that the skin looked completely red. 

But as the blood was washed away by the little rainstorm, Erebus realized that that really was its color. Honestly, with the bright red skin, pitch black nails, and the prominent stitches attaching it to his body, the arm made him look like some sort of...monster which is what he was inside, wasn’t he? He watched in horrified fascination as the limb he didn’t recognize as his own moved as he wanted it to. Well, for the most part. It was sort of shaky, and he couldn’t make a fist or straighten it out all the way, but that was hopefully something Neteri could fix...

And despite everything, a small part of him couldn’t help but hope that, for her sake, Neteri was okay.

Next→

Tags: @dramaticcollapse @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @galaxywhump @as-a-matter-of-whump @mnmlover2002 @tears-and-lilies @yet-another-heathen @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @starnight-whump​ @unicornscotty

[bluerosesburnblue]

And that’s Game Over. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me to give my final thoughts on beating a game at this point, and boy do I have a lot to say about NEO: The World Ends With You. Pretty much every part of my blog’s aesthetic has been a thinly-veiled TWEWY reference from the start, so this probably shouldn’t shock anyone

That being said, I haven’t read any of the Secret Reports except for #3 and #4, and I haven’t seen any of Another Day except for the opening scene, so I can’t comment on either of those points

I should also say what I knew about before going into the game, because I did look into the demo datamine and a little bit of the Switch leak. So I wasn’t 100% blind, but I don’t think that anything that I saw really ruined the game for me. What I knew was:

Shoka, Neku, and Beat are party members. It was around the time that I saw this from the demo datamine that I started suspecting that the boy in the hoodie was Beat, but since he was listed after even Neku there was still a little doubt there until I played the game proper. I could tell it was Beat the second that he actually showed up in Gen Kobayashi’s artstyle, since he draws his and Neku’s eyes differently (which makes it pretty brilliant that they almost solely showed him with either his eyes not visible or drawn by Nomura before the game released)

Shoka is Swallow, also said in the demo datamine. It made it pretty amusing to watch everyone overthink the hell out of Swallow’s identity and dissect the symbolism, when you can actually figure it out pretty easily in the demo if you pay attention to what actually happens. Why do Rindo and Fret go to the Scramble Crossing? To look for Swallow. Who’s the first named character that they meet there (who’s shown with her phone a lot, too?) Shoka. Frankly, I’m surprised that they saved the reveal of Swallow’s identity until the very end, it’s so simple

The game is three weeks long, with the last week having two extra days, from the demo datamine

Josh is the one who gives Rindo his pin back at the start, from the demo datamine but everyone assumed it was him, anyway

Haz exists and is the Composer of Shinjuku, from the Switch leak and I went looking for this one specifically because I was way too curious about staircase guy

I also know the general gist of Tsugumi’s situation and her brother, which I think is in the Secret Reports

Honestly, nothing that I saw before I played was something that I felt ruined the game for me. The three weeks was just continuing the pattern of the first game. Shoka and hoodie boy were probably gonna be party members since they’re on the cover. Neku was almost certainly going to be one after A New Day. Haz’s situation isn’t actually explained if you’re just playing the game, so I’m actually glad I knew what was up before then because otherwise I would’ve just been confused

Anyway, I guess I should start with the negatives first. Don’t get me wrong, I do love this game. It’s not just a good game, but it’s also an excellent sequel that ticked off way more of the boxes on my “perfect TWEWY sequel” list than I was expecting

That being said, it’s really unfortunate that I can’t say that it redeemed A New Day. I does recover from A New Day, and it recovers shockingly well, but every time they referenced something from A New Day, all I could think was “this could’ve been executed so much better if they weren’t forced to reference that shitty sequel hook.” NTWEWY actually makes A New Day look worse in comparison

Biggest one is... Neku didn’t have to be dead for three years. His role in this game was actually so small that they could’ve easily had it be “Neku went missing a year ago. Shiba started his deal with the modded pins to try and drag Neku into things, so Josh made sure to get to Neku first. The two came up with a plan to get Neku out of Shiba’s reach and do recon at the same time in Shinjuku.” Like... fuck, it feels like poor Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme were forced to suffer without one of their dearest friends for years because the devs tacking his death onto their remaster was the cheapest solution at the time

Literally NOTHING that Coco did mattered. Shinjuku still got destroyed with or without Neku’s death and Sho didn’t NEED to be revived by her

I cannot stress enough that Sho didn’t need to be revived. I don’t totally blame the devs for this due to the gap in years between TWEWY and Final Remix, but the reason that there was so much fan clamor for Sho to return was that it was set up in the original TWEWY. The last time that we see Sho, his body is crushed under one of Josh’s junk piles. Reapers don’t leave bodies, they just get Erased. It was also known that Josh knew that Sho wanted to take his spot, but he kept him around anyway. People wanted Sho back because it looked like he hadn’t actually been destroyed and it would be in Josh’s character to keep him in the game. They literally could’ve just started NTWEWY as is and put a line in somewhere about Sho wanting to make Josh regret that he didn’t finish him off when he had the chance. No Coco required

Coco doesn’t even do anything unique for the Tsugumi plot that couldn’t have been done by someone else, like Hishima or Susukichi. Or Kaie. Frankly, any of the Shinjuku Reapers could’ve had a subplot about trying to free Tsugumi’s soul from Mr. Mew

Why does Tsugumi even have the Mr. Mew plush, anyway? Shinjuku was destroyed three years ago, and that’s when her soul was sealed in there. So do you mean to tell me that Shiki already established Gatto Nero and had a branch in Shinjuku mere months or even weeks after getting out of the Game? Nope, not buying that timeline

What the FUCK is up with the Dissonance Tapir? No, seriously, if Dissonance is some Angel-level power with such destructive properties and is almost exclusively employed in destroying cities, then how the FUCK can Coco just create a massive Dissonance Noise and why the fuck did she bother? Mr. H in A New Day even mentions that this is such an amazing power beyond most Reapers and how oh-so-special Coco is for it. NTWEWY does not address how Coco has this at all

Coco’s still such a nothing character, too. She accomplishes jack shit and her personality is still just “obnoxious, entitled brat.” They even did that thing that I hate where they act like she’s just totally forgiven, no harm done for all the shit she pulled just because she had understandable motives. Like, no, this little shit hasn’t changed at all and has done nothing to earn forgiveness! Just... ugh. Toss Coco on the pile with Janne Angard, Merula Snyde, and Lusamine of “characters I’m never gonna fucking like no matter how much the authors push them on me because they refuse to be better people but I’m expected to forgive them anyway”

We ever gonna expand on Coco’s illusion Yoshiya? No? Alright, fuck me, then

Coco revives Sho specifically to have him partner with Neku, and the two don’t even interact until the final week and it’s mostly for Neku to kick Sho’s ass

Not... to turn this into yet another rant about A New Day. It’s just a real shame that I know this game could’ve been better if A New Day hadn’t been such garbage. I did like the reveal that Neku and Rindo’s visions were actually Tsugumi’s Psych, though

A few other, non-AND nitpicks in no particular order:

Did anyone else find it weird that, like, there wasn’t a single girl on any of the other three teams besides Kanon? Logically, I get that they wanted to save on resources and most of the other team members were just recolors of each other, but... not even one female design for any of them? What’s the implication there? Is it just that no women ever die, somehow? Or that girls overall don’t qualify for the Game? It was just weird in a mildly immersion-breaking way once I noticed it, especially since the original TWEWY was fairly balanced. It did still favor male characters, but pretty much every player’s first team was male-female (Neku/Shiki, Beat/Rhyme, Sota/Nao) and Kariya and Uzuki were a consistent pair, too, despite being Reapers since they were basically foils to the Players. So having the Players so overwhelmingly male this time around just felt noticeable

Motoi had a lot more potential than I felt like he lived up to. He and Kubo paired together make really interesting negative split-foils to Mr. H. Kubo took the idea of an Angel influencing the game and guiding the Players to his desired outcome for the city and went “what if his goal was malicious?” He’s pretty much the perfect dark counterpoint to Hanekoma

That left Motoi open to take the other half of Mr. H’s character, namely the “artist that the protagonist greatly looks up to and admires” to its alternate conclusion. I think that’s what they were going for, because he is so perfectly set up as a foil to Mr. H. While Neku started growing paranoid and suspecting that Mr. H aka CAT was the Composer and a villain, trying and failing to shake the thought, Rindo refused to think of An0ther/Motoi as a villain despite the hints (like the false intel on Susukichi) until the truth was thrown in his face over and over again

The issue is that what made Neku’s concern over Mr. H so compelling was that Mr. H was in a position of authority. He was THE source of info on the Game the real-life players had, he clearly had some clout to make Uzuki cut her shit out, etc. Neku and the player respected him, so it we also felt betrayed by the idea that he could’ve been playing us. Motoi never felt like he had any authority to me. Nominally, he was at the same rank as Rindo. Sure, he told us a bit about the game, but so did Susukichi and Shoka. I wish they had just done a little more with him. Maybe establish that while the Ruinbringers always win, the Purehearts have always come in a close second. Like, they are THE other team to beat, so that Motoi ends up on a pedestal. You could even run with that, with a major conflict in Week 2 being that Kanon wants to set the Twisters up to win, but Motoi wants to use the Twisters to help the Purehearts win. Then we get the conflict of it seeming like a better idea to help the Purehearts since they’re always in second anyway (and knowing that if the Twisters win, Kanon’s team would be sure to lose to the Purehearts the next week) until it’s revealed that Motoi was just using the Twisters to try and take a spot with the Reapers and leave his team behind because he doesn’t actually believe that there’s any beating the Ruinbringers. I dunno, the Motoi plot just felt like it needed a little editing

He also needs a better design, tbh. All I can think of when I think of Motoi is “bright blue.” Like... he’s just a blue blob. He needs differently colored pants, or a pattern, or something. Maybe a better hairstyle. His design just screams “NPC who dies in Week 2.” Motoi looking more like a main character who’d be sticking around to the end (maybe even a teammate?) would’ve heightened the reveal. There’s just no detail work anywhere on his clothes

Week 2 in general felt like it dragged a bit. Week 1 we know we’re still in the “learning the Game” phase, so it’s expected to go a little slow. But it really doesn’t feel like much happens in Week 2 until the last couple of days, and the missions start getting really drawn out. Especially the second Scramble Slam and the amount of points they want you to rack up for the prizes. I tried my best and didn’t even come close to the lowest prize. And then they do ANOTHER Scramble Slam (though this one had mercifully low point scores and I did get all the prizes for once). Like, it was a neat idea for a mission the first time, but it just got formulaic fast

The Plague Noise felt a little half-assed. Not really in terms of their part in Shibuya Syndrome, more in the design and their weakness. They feel like a Taboo analogue, but they just don’t have the same spark to them

Their weakness is ultraviolet light? Really? So I just, like, have to believe that they shoved a battery-powered blacklight into Nagi’s backpack or something, and it never runs out of juice, and they always have the time to whip it out and turn it on whenever the Plague Noise show up? It seems like they wanted an excuse to have them come across as untouchable and scary, but then realized that it was clunky for gameplay so it just does not apply after the heroes figure out the weakness, even if that weakness isn’t just something that you can do on the fly. Thing is, they already perfected this with the Taboo Noise by having them take so little damage without the sync boost or Josh’s powers. The blacklight thing just feels like an inelegant solution, when something like “attacks do almost no damage unless you get off a single Mashup” would’ve made more sense

I also just hate their design? Applying a uniform metallic-prism texture to the whole body just looks beyond lazy and... has really nothing to do with them thematically? I don’t mind them being recolors of regular Noise types, I just think this was the laziest way to recolor them. They’re supposed to be draining people’s souls, right? And regular Noise are neon? Then maybe we could go with the idea of “true black” for the Plague Noise, where their bodies are pitch black and shading effects can’t be seen on them, like they absorb all light and color in their surroundings (maybe even have a slight filter around them that makes the area around them look grey?) and a hollow, wireframe-esque mesh on the parts that would glow on regular Noise. This is just an off-the-top-of-my-head design idea. I don’t know how feasible it would’ve been to program, but visually it would probably be more striking

It’s also kind of weird that Ayano’s Noise form is a flower. And just her, too. If all of the Shinjuku Reapers had their Noise forms based on plants with Shiba as the butterfly, that would’ve felt more cohesive and made them feel more “other” when compared to the Shibuya Reapers

I can’t give this one too much of a hard time because it’s not like the Shibuya Reapers in TWEWY had any real theme to their Noise forms other than “were animals,” with Sheep (Higashizawa) > Lion (Minamimoto) > Tiger (Konishi) > Snake/Dragon (Kitaniji). Just more of a missed opportunity brought on by Ayano having a noticeably different Noise form than any other Reaper in the series for seemingly no reason

Unpainted is a better boss theme for Phoenix Cantus and World is Yours is a better boss theme for Shiba. They should’ve been switched, and I cannot believe that the song all about painting a happy ending was not used for the rainbow bird final boss (and I just didn’t care for World is Yours. Definitely a mid-tier song in the soundtrack, imo, which is not something you want for your final boss)

Speaking of, why is it called Phoenix Cantus anyway? “Cantus” is usually reserved for Reaper Noise forms, which Phoenix Cantus is definitely not. Was “Phoenix Pulvis” not cool enough? I know that “Pulvis” means “dust” (and Soul Pulvis is just... Noise made of soul dust basically), so maybe “Phoenix Coetus” since it’s a group of Soul Pulvis and still sounds similar to Phoenix Cantus?

Those are all literally my biggest criticisms, though. And if “still couldn’t fix shitty writing from a few years ago and they ignored it instead” and a handful of actual nitpicks is all I have against the game, then it’s a really good game

Like, okay, holy shit. Reverb Shibuya with the alien sky and ever darkening buildings and people. What a fucking cool setting for the final week. For anyone who read my FFXV sort-of-rant, this is exactly what I wanted out of FFXV’s World of Ruin. It’s so freaky and chilling to wander a Shibuya, which you’ve had two in-game weeks (or five if you played TWEWY) to get to love in this distorted state with a dark, unnatural sky and everything slowly getting progressive more and more warped. And it’s fully explorable. The first time I saw someone under the Reverb, with the “...” thoughts and the “@DownWiththeSyndrome” username was kinda freaky, but I just brushed it off as this game’s version of the “what a wonderful world such would be” Red Skull Pin stuff. But the first time I saw one of the mid-Reverb thoughts? A person almost completely gone, but still spitting out a broken, distorted version of a familiar thought bubble I’d seen throughout the game as though those half-remembered thoughts were the only thing they could hold onto... THAT was chilling

I almost wanted Plague Noise wandering around like the Taboo used to, too, to give just a little more sense of edge. Maybe it’s a blessing, though, since the regular Noise in Week 3 hit a pretty big difficulty spike. Kinda surprised that the Plague Noise weren’t called Reverb Noise, though

Also, the music for the first couple of days heavily featuring DIVIDE and Revelation (NEO Mix) was sooooooo wonderful. I fell in love with both of those songs when I heard them in the trailers and they set the mood so well. Mmmmmmmm the start of Week 3′s atmosphere is so good. And then they start adding in SCRAMBLE and LAST CALL and I’m just like... yo they saved some of the best songs in my opinion for last

Reverb Shibuya is almost what my mental image for TWEWY’s Week 3 always was, even though I know that TWEWY’s Week 3 was just... regular Shibuya. But for some reason I always visualize it as dusty and distorted. But NTWEWY’s Week 3 executes a Shibuya on the verge of destruction so much better than even my weird, imagined version of TWEWY’s Week 3

Kubo’s a perfect Mr. H foil. Older gentleman who ends up being a major source of info on the Game, constantly showing up to offer advice, who ends up being an Angel trying to guide you to specific end, except this time he’s a villain? It’s so good. Especially with the implication that Kubo is what the Angels want, as someone who’s a scheming asshole willing to destroy or “cleanse” cities in a horrific way regardless of suffering, while Mr. H was the Fallen Angel for trying to do the right thing and save the city. It paints a really interesting picture of the world of TWEWY. The Angels already came across as assholes in the original, and I’m so glad they leaned into that

On that note: HELLO worldbuilding. I’m legitimately shocked that they didn’t expand on the alternate worlds from the first game since those are definitely canon and played a huge part in Josh’s survival. But then they expanded on other things and in ways that recontextualize the first game in a much more interesting light so I’m okay with what they did

The biggest one being the “destruction of Shibuya” that the first game was about. Pretty much everyone was under the impression that Josh was just going to destroy the UG, but now with the destruction of Shinjuku it seems obvious that it was more than that. He could’ve eradicated the whole city and everyone in it and no one would know. Memories of Inverted cities and their inhabitants are erased, and the people in the cities are so beyond gone that the only things left are fragmented thoughts. We see a girl from Shinjuku like that, who’s so far gone that she’s barely even a ghost to people in the UG. It’s horrifying, but makes the stakes of the first TWEWY so much more real and Josh so much more of a threat (and, conversely, his mind change more impactful)

Glad that they implied Shinjuku could be brought back with work at the end of the game. Unclear if the people could be restored, probably not, but at least we get something. Would’ve been too dark otherwise

Living Players were touched on slightly because Kariya mistakes Josh for one in TWEWY, now we get to see the full extent of that. Like how a person can’t exist in two planes at once, so their existence in the UG is effectively forgotten while they’re in the RG (except, it seems, to past Players who this game seems to imply have had a sort of sixth sense awakened). I wouldn’t have expected them to take this route, but I like the fact that the stakes are different enough. In TWEWY, everyone just stays dead. In NTWEWY, Rindo, Fret, Nagi, and Beat risk their existences being wiped from the world

I was totally not expecting them to actually answer what happens to people from timelines that Rindo changed. Horrifying. Horrifying is what happens, as they simply cease to exist but the energy that they were has to go somewhere, so it collects in the main timeline as distorted Noise

Actually, on this, I was kind of expecting Rindo’s time travel to have some sort of drawback at least partway through the game when they pointed out his pin was changing. The twist was very Madoka Magica-esque in the way that Homura’s constant resets to get the best timeline were building up Madoka’s potential, so that when Madoka did become a witch it was more and more powerful every time. Once the pin was pointed out, I was able to guess that something like Phoenix Cantus was where they were headed, though part of me was a little worried that Rindo was going to be part of it and we’d have to fight against him

Speaking of, this twist really was beautifully foreshadowed. I connected the birds appearing to Rindo’s time travel about the second time it happened, but I didn’t notice his pin. The first time they pointed out that his pin was different than the others, my first thought was “Was it always like this? I can’t remember. Did Josh hand him a special pin back?” The second time it showed up and was obviously changing, I was suspicious as hell and kept my eye on that thing every single day, until at one point I went “that’s definitely a fucking bird.” It’s such a tiny detail on the HUD, but I looked back and it’s changing as early as the beginning of the game. You could spot it, but why would you think to?

Beat. Ohhhhhh, my boy. I feel bad because half the time I forget him in the original group (Shiki being first partner and Josh making the biggest impression) but he’s actually the best character in this game. I adore how he starts getting all “protective big brother” with the team (even though Nagi’s older than him), he’s still a lovable doofus with so much energy, and how easily he got back into the groove with Neku was just so heartwarming and just... I love Beat. I love my boy

The fucking... battle dialogue where Beat shouts “BOOYAKA” and then there’s half a second before Rindo awkwardly goes “Rrrrrrrright” kills me every time

And Soundsurf is just so smart. Turning the run mechanic into a mini rhythm game that gives combat bonuses is so brilliant for a game as music-oriented as this and it just feels nice to have the song title in the corner

Speaking of the cast, I think it’s really incredible how naturally the new characters integrate with the old cast. Rindo, Fret, Nagi, and Shoka are all really distinct from the TWEWY kids, but they feel like they belong there either in spite of or because of the massive diversity of personality among them. And the only bad thing I can say about either Neku or the Shinjuku Reapers is that I feel they were underutilized, but “I want MORE” isn’t all that negative! I don’t think there’s a single bad TWEWY character except for Coco

I’m actually so glad that they went with what they did. Two points on my “perfect sequel” list were “new cast because the old ones had their arcs, if the old cast shows up it’s in mentor roles” which gets a big old check, and “the Game’s rules are changed to reflect both Shinjuku’s different style and the fact that the controls are different” and the team structure does exactly that

I’m eternally grateful for Kanon Tachibana. Rest in peace, you were such a cool lady and we were blessed to have you, especially since your first appearance set you up to be a major antagonist

Uzuki got that promotion and even made Game Master! Hot damn, real proud of that girl and I’m so glad that she and Kariya are still a duo

Pretty much all of the voice work was GREAT, too. One of the things I love about TWEWY is how obscure most of the VAs are, because when I know too much about a VA or if I hear their work too much it actually kills my immersion no matter how good of a job they do because all I can think about is their other roles or IRL personality. So not only does TWEWY sidestep that entirely, but the VAs they do use do a fantastic job which gives the game such a unique audio experience. Andy Hirsch as Sho Minamimoto, Crawford Wilson as Beat, and Bailey Gambertoglio as Shoka Sakurane were all big standouts

Frankly, it’s a miracle that they made Shibuya so much easier to navigate for me. I think it’s the way that the streets are drawn on the map. Made it a lot easier for me to visualize how things were connected and where I was going. The camera does take a little getting used to

I really can’t commend how creative the gameplay is enough. I didn’t think they could top what they did with the DS’s dual screens to have you control two characters at once, but they manage to have you controlling an entire PARTY OF SIX at once. And yet, they still manage to keep the “team working together” feeling that was so integral to TWEWY’s combat with the Beatdrops and Mashups/Killer Remix. It feels both very TWEWY and very distinct from TWEWY. It’s such a natural evolution

SPEAKING OF NATURAL EVOLUTIONS THEY STREAMLINED THE PIN EVOS. No branching evolutions thank GOD

The compact collections menu with percentages made me so happy as a completionist you have NO IDEA

My only issue with the gameplay was entirely personal, because I’ve been playing a lot FFXV and I kept accidentally hitting the Mashup button when I meant to dodge because of muscle memory. Goddammit, I had to unlearn my KH muscle memory when playing FFXV and now I’ve gotta unlearn THAT. Square! Standardize your damn buttons!

It was so interesting how they went and expanded on the themes of the first game, which was about opening up to other people. This game still has that, as Rindo doesn’t really put himself out there, Fret is disingenuous to appear friendly but protect his emotions, Nagi is too empathetic that she gets overwhelmed, and Shoka is so aggressive that she scares others off, and they have to learn teamwork. But then it takes it a step farther when Haz comes in. Friends help you grow, like in the first game, but they also make the world around you special, too

At this point I’m kind of running out of things to say about the game, but it really is a worthy successor to the original TWEWY, and I say this as someone who 100% completed the DS version. It was actually one of the first games that I ever did 100% complete (can’t remember if I did this before or after Bravely Default). The game oozes style, and really all I want is just... more, if it’s going to be of this quality

I would never want this series to turn into KH (and don’t even get me started on how much the KH fandom pissed me off in the leadup to this game. Jesus Christ shut the FUCK UP about the “Nomuraverse,” there’s no such thing), but... I think they have the groundwork to pull a sort of 358/2 Days-style game with the Shinjuku Reapers telling the story of Tsugumi and the fall of Shinjuku. An “Another Side,” if you will. I hear the Secret Reports mention some of it, but I want to see it. I want to see the Shinjuku Reapers as the big family they claimed they were and how it fell apart, especially with how that would compare to the Shibuya Reapers in TWEWY who were always in the middle of power games and ready to backstab each other. What made the Angels and Haz want the place “cleansed?” And I know they set this game in Shibuya because they felt it was iconic to the games, but... I dunno, I feel like the visual style and worlbuilding are more important than it being in Shibuya, specifically

Also, still wouldn’t pass up that Josh prequel. Just saying

Might have more to say once I play Another Day and read the Secret Reports, but I’m gonna take a break from NTWEWY for a bit to finish up the FFXV postgame stuff and DLC so it may be a while before I actually do say anything. But I am looking forward to getting back to it when I do! Given how much I tend to get into a “you must COMPLETE THIS GAME and cannot move onto another until you do” mindset, I think it says a lot that I took the time to start playing this game at launch and didn’t stop at all. Great game, would recommend this to anyone, would love to see more as long as more looks nothing like A New Day