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nicorobinsimp333 · 2 years ago

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Best Friends?

Suna Rintaro x f reader

AN: hello everyone so this is my first fic since 2018 and it’s not proof read so pls be kind 🥹 anyways I look forward to writing more fics and I hope you enjoy. If you have any request feel free to request a fic. I’m currently going to be writing for Haiykuu, one piece, and black clover.

Warnings : 3.6k, cursing, kissing and angst

Fun fact my name is Rin.

You and Suna have been friends for years but it hadn’t been until recently that you noticed your feelings for him. You always thought that you willing did so much for him because he was your best friend. It wasn’t until Atsumu jokingly made a comment about how smitten you were that it all clicked. You realized that the reason why you loved doing those things was because you got to see his rare smile and hear him call you cute names reserved only for you. It had been two months since the realization and it was getting harder to be around him without blushing like an idiot over the smallest things. You decided that you were going to go for it, that there was no way that he didn’t feel the same. He treated you way different from everyone else, plus all the random girls who would come up and confess to him he would turn down. So you figured you’d do it after one of the practice matches. It would be an easy Segway.

You’d ask him to get some food afterwards and that is where you’d let him know about your feelings. As the game ended, you helped clean up as he went into the locker room, once the team was done you wave goodbyes to all of them before rushing to his side. You asked if he’d accompany you for some dinner at your secret ramen shop. Which he sighed and said yes. As you two walked he complained about wanting to hurry to get home to rest. Saying that school plus the game were a little too much today. As you make it inside and sit at your usual booth you start getting nervous. You order the usual. As you turn to him, there he was stoic as ever. You clear your throat.

“So, I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while, and when I say what I have to don’t interrupt, even if you have a really funny joke.” He simply nods. Your palms are sweating and your voice is starting to waver. You think 20 seconds of courage is all you need. “ I love you Rin.”

“I love you too, y/n/n.”

“ I said no interrupting”

“continue, continue” he says with his hands up.

“I love you in a way thats more than just friends and I know your sarcastic ass is gonna say like best friends, and no because that’s what we already are. I love you in the way where I want to kiss your stupidly handsome face, where I want to hold your large callous hands while you complain about the twins annoying you. I want to cuddle with you, where I can hold your

hand and sneak kisses while you’re drifting off to sleep. I want to walk around in your jersey with the intention of everyone knowing I’m yours. I…I love you SunaRin and I think I always have been. You’re someone special and I hope I’m someone special to you too. So what do you say Rin, do you wanna do this with me? Do you wanna be mine?” The silence is deafening and his face is hard to read. You’re starting to regret saying all this. You’re getting desperate with every passing second. Your voice is small and pleading, “please say something”

He places his hands atop of yours. “I’m sorry”. Is what came out first and with those two small words you feel your chest pounding in your ears. Your eyes start to tear up but you’ll be damned if you start crying. It’s just rejection right, it happens to everyone. You’ll live. You’ll be okay. You repeat to yourself over and over in your mind.

“Believe me I love you, you know that. I just don’t love you in that way.” One single tear falls and you scream at yourself for it. You look up at him and simply nod. Moving your hand from his you reach in your bag, grab some cash and walk out. Before suna can realize what just happened you’re gone. He wants to run after you but what is he gonna do? Hold you in his arms and say sorry for not loving you how you love me? He stays in the ramen shop wondering if you two will be okay? When he gets home he sends you a text in hopes of a reply but honestly what does he expect after he just broke your heart.

As you make it home the tears haven’t stopped falling since you left the shop. This isn’t what you imagined, not one bit. You got to your room, pulled the covers over you and sobbed yourself to sleep. You didn’t end up going to school the next day, giving you parents the excuse that you have a cold. And since your voice was hoarse and eyes red they believed you. You laid in bed all day wondering how it was gonna be when you see him tomorrow, how it was going to play out. Will it be awkward, will he try to make it seem normal. As the day went on you just slept trying to forget about everything and how stupid you felt for ruining your friendship.

When you didn’t show up for school Suna got worried. He sent you a text asking where you were. His day went slower than usual and he was annoyed all day. Once practice started everyone could tell something was up with him. He wasn’t recording the bickering of the twins and no snarky remarks. When they split into two teams for a practice match, Kita decided to ask if he was okay and he just shrugged. So kita left it alone but of course Atsumu seen and wanted to know what was wrong. So he walked up and asked him if he knew why you weren’t at practice today. When he ignored him, Atsumu got annoyed. “Did you and your girlfriend get in a fight or what?”

He snapped back “She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even see her in that type of way. She’s like a sister to me.”

When he said that the whole gymnasium got quiet even the coaches. Osumu decided to chime in because he knew Suna was hard headed but he didn’t realize that he was a oblivious to his feelings for you. “You really believe that SunaRin, because I’ve seen you with your sister and the way you two act and the way you act with y/n are way different.”

“Just drop it ‘samu, this is practice not discuss my love life. Let’s play.” With that they continued playing. With tension in the air, coach decided to end practice early. He didn’t want chaos to ensue which would surely happen if a minor disagreement occurred.

Once it was over the boys went into the locker room to change. Kita went up to Suna and asked what was wrong. Suna confessed to everything that happened and how his day was shit. He was worried about you since you didn’t come to school and didn’t even let him know if you got home safely last night. And that’s when it happened. A screaming match between Aran and Suna. Aran told him that he was too stupid to not realize that he was actually in love with you and Suna told him to fuck off.

“ No, I’d rather not suna because you acting like a fucking idiot affects the whole team. If you don’t want your personally life mixed in with volleyball life than get your shit together. Stop mopping about your nonexistent problems because the one hurting the most is y/n.” The locker room silenced after that. Suna couldn’t even say he was wrong because even when he’s had bad days he’s never really let it affect his game play. He had no right to feel sad or hurt when he was the coward who couldn’t be what you needed.

When suna got home he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he actually loved you. He locked that deep in his heart and no one was going to be able to unlock that except him. He decided he would talk to you tomorrow. Make it up to you with some of your favorite snacks. He went to sleep earlier than usual to ensure he had enough time to stop and get them. He headed to your usual meet up spot but when you didn’t show up he figured you just weren’t going to school again. As he made it to the front gate he saw you. Puffy eyes and a small pout on your face. He smiled knowing you were safe but it soon made his heart hurt knowing that your eyes were like that because of tears. Tears that were caused by him. He made it to where you were and stood next to you. You hadn’t noticed until your friends walked away suddenly, leaving you confused. Suna cleared his throat. And you stiffened hoping that you’d be able to at least get through your morning avoiding him. You turned and looked at him trying to force a smile to your face but it was wobbly. He didn’t say anything just reaching into his bag and handing you the snacks.

“Umm, thanks but I actually have to get going. I have to go get my missing assignments from yesterday see you around.” You said leaving him dumbfounded. He knew it wasn’t going to just go back to how it was but were you going to just ignore him? The rest of the day you avoided him like the plague til you couldn’t anymore since you were the volleyball manager. You didn’t know that all the boys knew what happened. You figured since suna wasn’t one to put his business out there you could at least act some what regular and put the awkwardness to the side for a few hours. You still avoided him talking and joking mostly with Atsumu and Kita. Practice went on til you had a break and Atsumu couldn’t just keep his mouth shut. “So you seem happy for someone who got rejected by the love of their life.” You froze, you couldn’t believe what you just heard. Did he really blabber about what happened. The most embarrassing moment of your life was already known to the team.

“What did you just say Atsumu.” You could see Kita in your peripheral trying to hint at him to shut up, to just drop it.

“I mean you’re avoiding him but still joking, I just wanted to know how you’re making it look so easy?”

Easy? Ha if he only knew. You’re dying inside. You can’t even look in his general direction, let alone hold a conversation with him. You’re joking to distract yourself from how miserable you feel. How you ruined your friendship with someone who you care for so much it hurts. Can he not see the hurt in your eyes, is he just saying this to get a reaction out of you? You get out of your head and finally reply.

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business Atsumu, but I’m joking around with your dumbass because it’s keeping me from crying. I know you’re dense but did you really have to bring it up. I understand that i really shouldn’t be mad at you since it was Suna who didn’t keep his mouth shut about the whole situation but fuck you Atsumu.” With that you walked away from the two of them and went straight to suna.

Suna is talking with Aran and Osamu, his back turned to you. You tap his shoulder and he turns around. Before he can say anything you reach up and slap him across the face. The gym is quiet. Did that really just happen? Is what’s written on everyone’s face. You look over at the coaches with apologetic eyes as they just turn around and continue their conversation. You look up at Suna whose holding his face and a look you’ve never seen on him before. He was actually hurt.

“I can’t believe you, Rintarō. I get embarrassing me in private but to share it with the team is low even for you. I’ve always had your back and I’ve done everything to always defend you. And sure it’s not your fault that you don’t love me in the same way that I do you, but for you to share that information with the team just … wow. You’re actually the person everyone warned me about. And to hear it from Atsumu of all people, I just can’t believe you’d actually hurt me intentionally.”

“Y/n I-“

“Just don’t.” You raise your hand and point between the two of you. “Whatever this was between us is over. Don’t talk to me, don’t text me, don’t wait for me, don’t come over to my house, just leave me the fuck alone from now on okay. The only interaction I want with you is when you need something from me as your manager and even that is pushing it. I want nothing to do with you, you got that.” He nods and you can see his eyes getting glossy and you choose to ignore it because you can’t be there to comfort him when he was the one who broke you first.

“Oh and since all of you know my business don’t be like Atsumu and bring that shit up. No,I’m not okay, and no I don’t want to fucking talk about it” You walk over to the coaches and apologize before you ask if you can go home early. You grab your bag and head out of the gym. You stop at one of the benches and just crumble. Did that just happen. Did you just lose your Bestfriend? Was that too extreme? No, your feelings are just as valid. If he wants to apologize he can but if you choose to forgive him its on you and only you.

Back in the gymnasium the doors close and Suna rushes Atsumu, holding him against the wall. “What the fuck did you say to her?”

Atsumu has his hands up as he’s getting shoved into the wall. “I just asked her how she’s making it look easy, after everything that’s happened.”

Suna goes to punch him but is dragged away by Aran and one of the coaches. Kita and Osumu are already scolding him for not knowing how to read the room. Telling him that he had no place to say that to you and he needs to apologize, to not only you but Suna.

Suna and Aran are sitting in the locker room with the coach at the door. None of them speak. No one knows what to say. Aran finally speaks “Suna, I’m not going to ask if you’re okay because I can clearly see you’re not, but can I ask you why you didn’t just tell her you love her too?”

Suna lifts his head out of his hands and turns to him. His mouth opens and closes but he can’t form the words. He finally cracks and the tears just stream from his face. “You heard her, I’m not a good person, everyone knows that. I didn’t want to hurt her. If we did end up together, I would ruin it eventually. I’m not good with my feelings but with her as my Bestfriend it was easy. I didn’t need to say much and she knew. She knows me better than anyone and I lost her because I was too scared to just admit that I’ve been in love with her since the first day we met.”

“Not to rub salt in your wound but you already ruined it. You ruined something beautiful because you couldn’t just let her know you love her. You were afraid of everything that has already happened. Do you feel good about your decision?”

“No, Aran I don’t”

“Then what are you going to do about it?”

“What can I do, she told me to leave her alone. Never speak to her again. I can’t just walk up to her and say sorry I was a coward who couldn’t just admit I love you too.”

“And why not? Because it would make you vulnerable. Are you really willing to throw your relationship with her away because you’re afraid of the worse that has already happened?“

Suna sits there pondering on what he should do. Arans right the worse has already happened. What could be worse than this, what he’s feeling right now at this moment. “You’re right. ” it comes out as a whisper.

“I always am” as he pats sunas back and pushes him off the bench.

As he gets up to walk out, he turns. “Oh and Aran, if you ever tell anyone I cried, I’ll kick your ass.” He laughed at the end of the sentence. He knew he would never but he just had to make sure.

With his hands in the air “come on Rin who do you take me for Atsumu.” He chuckled as the middle blocker walked out of the locker room and back onto the court.

“Suna, I’m so sorry, if you want to kick my ass go ahead just watch the hands and the face they’re the money makers.” Atsumu says as he covers his face and turns away.

“You know about 10 mins ago I would have but I realized that it’s not your fault… entirely. I don’t really need your apology but you definitely need to apologize to y/n. What you did was stupid even for you.”

Frantically running towards the coaches. “I need to leave. I’m sorry for being such a hassle these past few days, I promise I’ll make it up.” Bowing one final time before dashing towards the exit.

He spots you, hands covering your face. As he approaches, he hears your cries. He knows he’s fucked up and he knows he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness or your love but he has to try right. It’s now or never. He can’t lose you. No, he won’t lose you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Cautiously he reaches out towards you. Placing a hand on you shoulder. Whipping you head up to see who it was, furiously wiping away your tears.

“Come here to humiliate me some more?” Shaking his head, and pleading for you to listen. You scoot over for him to sit. You’re not quite sure why. You know he doesn’t love you like that. It may be because this might be your last pleasant moment before going your separate ways. As no words are shared for a few minutes you finally decide to get up.

Rin reaching for your wrist, making you look back at him waiting for him to say something. Anything.

“I’m sorry” you cringe at the words. “I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve your love or your friendship… I was a coward, to afraid to realize what he had until it was to late. I’m sorry for telling the guys, I have no excuses and I don’t want to make any. This was all on me and I’m sorry.” You stare into his eyes, not finding any sign to show he was deceiving you.

“I forgive you Rin. Just please give me time. Let me grieve you and the love that I have to let go of.”

“No”

“No? What do you mean no?” Now you’re confused and starting to get pissed off.

“I… I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I’ve locked these feelings away for so long that when you confessed to me I forgot.I swore to myself that I would never confess because I never wanted to hurt you. However, I ended up doing that because I’m an idiot. A stupid fucking idiot. I’ve loved you since the moment we met. You’re the bravest, kindest human to walk this tragic realm. You keep me on my toes and you never fail to to put a smile on my face. Even when you piss me off, even when you side with the miyas and even when you drag me out of bed. I love you and I’m sorry for taking so long to tell you.” He’s holding both you hands at this point. Both standing in silence. This has to be a dream right. You can’t wrap your head around it. “You love me? And you’re not pulling a prank on me?” Tears are falling.

“No” chuckling while wiping your tears. “Never about my feelings for you. May I?” He asks as he lifts your chin. Only nodding because all words have left your brain.

The kiss was sweet and passionate. As if both of your feelings from the moment you met up until this moment are fused into it. As you both pull away you feel like you’re on cloud nine.

“So, what do you say? Will you be mine?” Hands resting on your hips.

“I’m sorry…” shocked and stunned is the facial expression you’d describe on Rins face. While you on the other hand are grinning ear to ear. “But I’d love too” teasing him before placing your hands in his.

Whistles could be heard from the side. You both turn to see 4 heads sticking out from the gymnasium door. The twins, Aran and Kita. You turn to Rin who has a huge smirk on his face. Turning back to you and kissing you once more.

“Get a room” is all you can hear before smiling into Rins soft lips.

#suna x y/n #suna rintaro oneshot #suna x you #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro fic #friends to lovers haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt comfort #haikyu x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro fluff #suna angst to fluff #suna x reader

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hees-mine · 2 months ago

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i've been inactive but i just caught up on your page and wow! The patreon is def a good marketing idea lol. There will definitely be people who pay to read your works since desperate horny ppl with money buy anything😂this whole "i don't have enough money" excuse is tickling me bc it seems like these ppl have more things to worry ab than begging for part 2s😭.

but yeah it was a bit surprising bc even though writing is time-consuming and im not getting paid on here, that's not what I do for it for. I genuinely like expressing my creativity for the fun of it and over time it feels like a piece of art. its just fun idk.. it's kind of mind-boggling that you're complaining about not getting anything in return because what else would you get in return? All your supporters can do is like comment and re-blog, they can't do anything else bc it's just a social media platform lol. i'm a pretty big page but even if it were 20 people reading I would still enjoy pleasing those 20 ppl. If the hate or negativity ur referring to is getting that bad I personally would just turn off asks!

ur gonna do what you wanna do and you'll make money regardless so kudos to you! It's just that i don't think this writing field should be taken so seriously or have such an effect on you, and heeseung is a human being in real life, so it is kind of weird that you'd want financial gain from it since he can't consent to that. but hey I support everyone's hustle.

you have amazing stories on here so I took a sigh of thanks that you're not going to delete or deactivate. They get me through a lonely night girl.😂😂def just delete the app if it ever gets too much for u!

Sigh

The wording of this is horrible

A lot of back handed compliments here but it’s all over text so maybe I’m not reading it right so I’m not going to dive into it

As far as money goes people can do whatever they want with it if they have it they have it if they don’t they don’t I’m not going to get into peoples finances let alone call it an “excuse” however I do agree their are more important matters than asking for a part 2

Key word YOU don’t do it for that reason me and you are two different people I don’t do it to make money either cause this blog was free to the whole public in the beginning so money was not on my mind when I made it

By you saying “i genuinely like expressing my creativity for fun” implies that I don’t

Im sorry that your mind is boggled because when I said I don’t get something in return was not in regards to money it’s a simple request for respect thats what I’m not getting here is basic respect and thats all I’ve been asking for for the past couple months

I get how social media works lol and the thing is I don’t need numbers or reblogs simply appreciate and respect my wishes and we’re gucci over here I don’t care if I had one reader as long as you’re appreciative of what I take time out of my day to do I’m cool with that

The negativity comes in more forms than just my ask box

I’m not taking it seriously and I don’t think anyone else is either clearly at the end of the day it is by no means affecting me in my personal life

Geez

This isn’t about “financial gain” it’s an opportunity for me to try and find the people who actually care about what I do and weed out the ones who just mass consume content with zero feedback sure I’d be making a little money off it but it would never be enough to sustain anything in real life I’m not greedy for a few bucks

So basically with that logic if him not being able to consent to me writing stories about him and making said money from those stories people would have to stop making fanmade items as well cause he’s not consenting to that either

Or is this different because there’s smut involved?

Either way it’s neither here nor there

Again the financial gain part is not even what I aim to do like I said some money would be involved yes but I’m not out here asking for 200$ dollars

Don’t know if you looked far enough but I’ve stated multiple times that if anyone had questions about pricing and what content they’d like to see then shoot me a dm/ask I’m open to making this a place where my readers can be happy and I can get away from the negativity that has plagued this blog

Thank you for liking what I put out i appreciate it🩵

It’ll never be a point where it gets too much because as I stated it’s just annoying but other than that it doesn’t have an impact enough for me to delete my blog it’s only an issue on tumblr

If I do ever delete it’ll be because I’m done with writing

Thanks for the input I hope my response just gives a little more insight on what things are like from my pov

#hees-mine questions

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wcamino-confessions · 2 years ago

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I hoped that the previous post would have been the last one, but I was wrong.

I never wanted to fan out this situation into the public as much as it was already, but I suppose I'll do it because I'm told that something is being posted on here that relates to the situation. I will tell the full story.

I have been trying to refund Mehrunes (Amino) / tansycloud (Tumblr). I have withstood their degrading comments, insults and their stubbornness, and I have reached out to people to properly handle the situation. I have tried to give them alternative ways to still get their artwork but they refused all of them. They actively made my life miserable, despite I've told them repeatedly I have a serious situation that I need to deal with and I couldn't because of them. This has gone on for almost three months of back and forth, me trying to give them a refund because I don't want to scam them.

They have tried to take advantage of it, me pleading to give them 2x the amount of the refund (20$) instead of the original 8$ because I was desperate to get out of the situation (though I was told not to do it, which I'm thankful of. At the time I offered it, I was having an anxiety attack due to the pressure they put on me and my situation in real life.)

They were the first to publicly shame me, originally posting about how I was scammer despite I had offered to refund them by being their said voucher, and spread misinformation. They have reached out to my commissioners asking about commissions and such and made them uncomfortable, I only know because some reached out to me and expressed their discomfort about mehrunes doing this. I was extremely upset at Mehrunes and asked them why they did this, at the time I was at work, so I had to multitask the issue and work.

I stated I would do the art instead of a refund so they could stop bringing it to the public and spreading misinformation. Then, the serious situation happened. And I had to refund a lot of commissioners. I gave Mehrunes LOTS of options. I asked for a more simple character, I told them I'll just deliver the refund now and when I'm ready to do the art I could do it before they resend the money, then boom- I offered so many other options because I was bending over backwards for their demands, but they kept refusing each one.

It soon got to the point where I had to talk to the Leadership team and was terrified to go on Amino because of how intense the situation got. I did what the leaders and my friends reccomended because at the time I was spiraling and just wanted the situation over. Mehrunes still continued to pressure for the commission. When they were banned, they sent me to the voucher and not their Discord account- Which now IM being blamed for bringing the voucher into this.

I just wanted to give them back their money.

I STILL tried to withstand the insults, degrading, etc. I stood my ground firmly when I told them they're getting a refund, and they completely ignored the message and just sends their character and acts like they're still getting their refund. I told them I'm not comfortable with doing the commission.

Then, a friend who knew about Mehrunes and their treatment towards me told me about an alternative account they THOUGHT was theirs. The account was posting Mehrunes toyhouse purge, reposting mehrunes commissions etc. They NEVER disclosed that Mehrunes wasn't the one behind the account and it was just the voucher posting their toyhouse purge for them. I was told to just send back the money because something felt off with the voucher and Mehrunes. And- I did. I sent back the 8$ (under protection in case I needed to do a charge back, if not would have sent an extra dollar or something to cover the og cost), and thats when Mehrunes blew up at me, saying how I scammed them and it was 12$ (when I double checked EVERYTHING with the voucher, including send screenshots and confirming the details), how i involved the voucher when I just explicitly told them how I don't want to continue this anymore.

The voucher then proceeds to blow up on me, not even reading my messages. I'll agree that it's wrong that I sent the money, I forgot about the situation that the voucher was in and I told them I'll do a charge back. They wouldn't listen to me though just like Mehrunes, and took the anger out on me for their account getting banned (which I played no part in). When they asked who did report them, I told them I wasn't comfortable with telling them because that's between the leaders and the persons privacy. They continued to pressure me to tell them, which I didn't. I have repeatedly told the voucher and mehrunes I don't want to involve the voucher because they asked not to be involved. I even told the voucher I'll dm a leader in my free time to give the leader their Discord to talk to them about the ban (Keep in mind, there was NO indication that they claimed they weren't mehrunes or was posting it for mehrunes, it truly looked like an alt account) because I wanted to help them.

I have huge red flags with the voucher and mehrunes. I'm running in circles with them now, I just wanted this over with and done because I'm tired, it's been practically three months of this back and forth and I just want it to end. I WANTED this between Mehrunes and I but mehrunes kept fanning it out into the public.

Mehrunes gaslights and says I'm doing this for attention - when they were the one doing it first- and would say multiple degrading comments, and their voucher is now doing the same thing with the rude comments, posting it into the public and fanning it out. And apparently mehrunes knows about my account activity, which makes Me even more uncomfortable.

I Don't know what to do anymore.. I don't want to give them nothing. I've tried so hard to give mehrunes the refund and at the time the art. This post is already so long, I'm sorry for that. A friend is helping me with screenshots, which I will do my best to provide if it really comes down to that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you have suggestions on what you think I should do, please let me know.

And I know Tansycloud / mehrunes is going to comment. I tried everything I could to not have this out in the open so much. I just want this to end.

#submission #tansy if youre reading this you better grow the fuck up and just let them refund you #dont be funny in the notes either im so close to banning you from the blog for this bs.. let them make it right or stfu #<- mod x

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the-whispers-of-death · 6 months ago

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literally just remembered i have an oc who would probably fit well-ish into the cod universe, as well as just. in the real world in general, cuz hes basically a background/filler character for when i just need. A Guy whos a jack of all trades. whenever something happened, he was there. "i know a guy" sorta guy, yk?

his name's sylvester and i dont even have a design for him besides beach blonde hair thats at *least* shoulder length, as well as short and lanky body. originally thinking of him as being in his mid 20s but like. no. so im bumping it up to lets say.. 42. ish.

originally he was actually a security guard type of guy, who then turned into a comms/IT specialist guy, but i see him being a radio host sometime further down the line in time.

now that im actually thinking about him, im enjoying the idea of him like actually being hired by the military because hes desperate and job-hunting was going awfully.

massive hermit though, i dont think he would care that hes on a literal military base surrounded by a buncha buff (and hot) people. bro's lowkey bi but hasnt dated since like highschool

hes there for a job, and then hes out. whats overtime? doesnt exist. something breaks at 5.02pm? tough luck. hes already in his car on the way home. adios suckers

and because of that i can see him appearing *very* standoffish and quite frankly like a massive dick and the type of guy whos there to do his job, not make friends

i do imagine him going around base like once a month and playing fix-it-felix with how often shit gets damaged. a lifesaver for those who wanna just crash in the "common area" and watch a random game, but couldnt cuz the cables were damaged.

i do think hes also the sorta guy that, when you finally befriend him and get past that "oh my god dont talk to me im busy" attitude, hed do literally anything for you. acts of service KING. type of guy to ask "hey im at the store, you need anything" and actually go trough with it. climbing in trough your window with a sopping wet carton of milk (it got punctured and half of it spilled on the way up. hes still delivering it though)

idiot loser white guy. hes got those pathetic little meow meow eyes. like nothing has happened to him, he just looks like that. i want to give him nerd glasses and hear him say "ermh, akhtsualleigh (<- actually)"

i think its funny how im plopping him in the cod universe where the most interaction hes probably had with the cod boys are when like. someones doing work and their computer bluescreens. thats it. absolutely no overlap. the venn diagram circles are 7 kilometers away from each other, actually.

idk hes like. a very boring guy and i love my stupidly everyday little guys. hes literally just some guy and thats all he needs to be

~ rusty

Stone, the king of overworking himself, @ Sylvester: What do you mean you don't do overtime?

Sylvester, probably: Overtime's for bitches.

Anyways, I think besides the overtime shit, Stone and Sylvester would get along. Because they're both reclusive.

#tyler's asks #tyler's inbox #tyler answers asks #answering asks #asks #other ocs #oc talk #task force 141 oc #call of duty oc #cod oc #task force 141 oc: stone #call of duty oc: stone #cod oc: stone #rusty anon #:)

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anandasamsara · 1 year ago

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i guess im in a new low for my depression

im kind of afraid of going outside. its not really fear, but its uncomfortable to think about getting out of the house and i feel like i dont deserve to??

which tangles with the "there are relatively good things happening between the bad ones, but the good things happening arent the ones that should be happening, so i cant feel good about them"

like, i guess my parents are actually really divorcing this time, which is the bad thing, but ive been able to get a few conventions down for the next two months, which should be good, but what i actually need to happen is a real job that i can use to pay rent if/when my dad goes away, which is both bad and good, bc i dont actually want a job bc i dont feel like i can put up with any more stress, but i do want dad to leave bc its been impossible with him here, so i need the job...

my anxiety has also been manifesting as rashes and acne bc the feeling isnt enough anymore for my brain to let me know there are things wrong all around even tho theres not much i can do about it other than worry

i also dont feel human bc i dont want to deal with everything, i dont want a job, i dont want to feel, ive been sleeping for like almost 15 hours per day, havent washed my hair in two weeks and dont feel any motivation to keep going

im trying tho, but the only thing that makes me feel a little bit better is thinking about the big convention thats coming up in july, but i know i shouldnt be thinking about it bc i need a stable job and income to pay the bills, and then it stresses me out and i feel burnt out and not wanting to exist

and then i catch myself thinking on how much better my mom's life would have been if i wasnt born, and then i blame my parents for everything bc i sure as hell didnt ask to be here and have to deal with expectations in a world that will never be accomodating to any of my limitations that i only learned i had after becoming a legal adult bc i was the gifted child and never had to think about it before

and this limitations keep surprising me still bc now i cant keep up with my friends for most things, i cant lift much weight even tho my arms can take it, i cant go up anything steeper than a 20° angle without struggle, cant be on my feet for more than 4 hours a day, and if its cold or too hot it goes down to 2 hours max, if i get cramps on my left leg it can take up to 3 days to get better and who know wht can happen if i fall down stairs again. theres a hook holding the bone in place, and if i break it, no idea if it can be fixed

and im still called lazy, or irresponsible, or someone has the guts to send me a job offer of babysitter or tell me that if i have to leave the post grad to be a cashier in a supermarket, that's life for me

i did leave, i cant afford it and it was turning out to be an awful place with awful professors

i was counting with the conventions to keep the post grad and try to go back to therapy, but this is the second month with none and as i get desperate, i also get hit repeatedly with my own limits and my own self worth that says i only have my body in this life so i shouldnt sacrifice it, but then i know i wont have much choice soon, so again, why am i even here to start with? i did not sign up for this, i do not want to be here

#personal

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youdontknowwheretogofromhere · 1 month ago

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Monday, September 23, 2024 8:42 pm

i didn’t go to school today :P i’ve been sick since friday and it’s gotten a little better i guess. i was sooo sick friday i literally couldn’t stand up, i was so hot and sweaty it was gen disgusting

anyways, I’m still sick and i’ve been having loads of nosebleeds so that sucks, thats actually why i didn’t want to go to school cuz i was scared of my nose bleeding in the middle of class and most of my teachers don’t have tissues so id just be kinda fucked

sorry for swearing, I’m just a little runt you know? i also have homework due tomorrow that i’ve had since like thursday to do and i haven’t done it soo

as you know per my last post, I’m 16(i don’t remember if i said that lol) and I’m such a fucking loser i know but i’ve got a boyfriend(?) for the first time(ill explain later) but i’ve met him on discord cuz i was super desperate and whatever

and i’ve met him

changing the song I’m listening to hold on

i’ve met him about a little more than a month ago(i’ve been trying to make more bad decisions lately) actually i want to expound up l

sorry my nose started bleeding a little bit

i want to expound upon that more. i felt like i’ve been too responsible my whole life, like internet safety meant the world to me and shit. but then i was like, am i missing out? not that i want bad shit to happen to me, but i feel like everyone has does stupid internet shit once in their life so like i want it too?? and i feel a little more stupid because like my actions lack authenticity so it’s so much lamer. like if i was some 16 year old kid that’s just so desperate for a relationship they date some internet because they haven’t thought about the repercussions then it’s like a thing to look back on and ittle be like “ohh i was such a dumb kid hahah” but since i know what I’m doing i just look like a dumb fuck.

it’s not even that i don’t like the guy, he’s really nice to me and he acts like he really likes me. idk if he’s lying to get something out of me but I’m just gonna pretend it’s real for now and hope it goes well for me

that sounds really sad lol. i just mean like he’s the only person ever in my life that has acted attracted to me and everything so like ther

changed the song again

there’s something there that’s keeping me instead of just letting me realize this is a really bad idea and i shouldn’t just block him or something. he’s got something up with him and maybe i’ll complain about it another day but

OMG ALSO like 20 minutes ago i asked him if he wanted to call and he didn’t answer cuz ig he’s too busy playing dark souls 1 or something. which only pisses me off cuz it took a lot out of me to even ask. i have social anxiety(idk what it is actually) but like i feel like genuine pain when i have to speak to people and reaching out to him almost made my heart explode, which it does all the time. and ive been trying to make an effort to be braver and talk to people more but its so hard. its been working tho, I’m actually able to start and somewhat hold a conversation now. actually the only reason we r even talking rn is cuz i was trying to get better at social interaction. like the third time he dmed me, i considered not responding and just ghosting him but i was like, “NO. YOU NEED TO COMMIT TO THIS.” so i did and now we are like dating(?)

to explain the question marks, and i still haven’t gotten over this. he asked me one day if we were together or something along those lines then i was like “i though we were already together” and he’s all like “well if we were together i think we would text more”

and omg it pissed me off to no end. THE GUY WHO CANT TEXT ME FIRST SAYS WE NEED TO TALK MORE. ARE TOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? like dude so we aren’t dating in ur book unless we talk more(and this is after he said we were taking things slow, which i[how do i do italics] thought was code for casual dating) and then won’t fucking talk to me unless i say something

and I’m only complaining cuz he’s older than me(he’s 18) and has also been in a relationship before( also told me one time that i was acting like his ex and i almost shot and killed myself) like dude, i already told you about my anxiety and shit

whatever anyways it’s been like 30 minutes and he still hasn’t said anything. who cares. i didn’t. even want to call him anyways

what really sucks is i really like him and think about him all the time and idk and i haven’t called him in like a week T-T

I’m so fucking lame god

okay i don’t think i have any more things to complain about so i hope you all have a good day/night/morning! i love you. i really do love you. you took the time to read my stupid ramblings and i really love you. god i want to cry but i can’t even cry anymore

should i start numbering these?

9:15 pm

#rambles #ramblings #diary #idiot #i wanted to do a custom tag to put on all my posts but i forgot #w and the great big white #relationship advice needed maybe #complaining #i’m so annoying #i love you so much

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iquirms · 4 months ago

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Sky Broadband and Why I Hate It

now i'm pretty sure that Sky Broadband is only available in the UK and Ireland BUT I got bitchen ass complain about them and I'm gonna write it here. For one, WHY on earth is my sky box and my sky box family (i've got like three) cutting all wifi signals between the hours of 2:45am and 5:45am??? Why is that? I don't care about ECO mode? I care if i can finish my youtube video while I write! And it's a real thing that happens! Me and my sister thought we were going CRAZY because it would just cut at 2:47 specifically, it became like an urban legend in our house.

Friend: Hey, why is the tv buffing so much during our movie?

Me: what time is it?

Friend: um, it's 2:50???

Me: yeah, we're gonna have to, like, cast our movie to the screen from my laptop. Sorry. Do you remember what time stamp we were on?

Friend: ??? what?

It was so weird. And I hate it. And I know it can probably be turned off, I know that. But keep in mind this thing has been haunting my house for weeks and none of us thought to google it; imagine the frustration, the anger, the boiling sadness that i could not finish my youtube video essays or my binge of Desperate Housewives on Disney+.

Another beef I've got with Sky Broadband is the recording/ watching tv shows not on cable. You can search up a tv show and, if it's offered on sky network, then you can watch every single season they've casted in a row. And I started to watch "The Flash" on Sky - I watched it every day after I came home from school, I was tired and eating my sad little mircowaved dinner because my school ends late and I have to take a bus home. So, imagine my surprise, half way through season three, I'm invested in Barry's life despite knowing that this show is about as accurate as the Harley Quinn show, when I see IT'S GONE. IT'S NOT THERE ANYMORE. THEY GOT RID OF IT. This is more of a personal beef than anything but because of that, I felt a deep hatred towards Sky Broadband.

And my third reason for Hating Sky Broadband, is the fact that they are ROBBING my parents! They raised the prices for their months so quickly and they got so high. Now, I don't want to throw around prices online but when my parents first got a sky box, around 2000 I'm pretty sure, the price was (without installment and for one box) it was around 20 euro a month. Not bad. Then the economy crashed in 2008 and prices rised. Sure, whatever, everyones poor now lets do that. But now? Now, in 2024, (without installment but for a family) they are charging my parents OVER 50 EURO A MONTH! That, to me, is a little too much money. I don't care if you give me Netflix and Youtube and fucking Apple Watch or whatever, on my dodgy box that I pay fifteen euro for five years, I can pirate literally anything and if I pay the five euro fee per month for amazon prime i can get a fire stick which will give me all that anyway. It's too much for a world that basically doesn't watch tv anymore. (That's a whole other can of worms that really bothers me as well actually because everyone complains that people these days get their news from TikTok or Youtube but those are the only places that give the full truth). On top of payment for things like Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney+ (because thats a capitalism nightmare), and the rest of their bills that could be as high as 2000 a month, they have to drop 50+ eurors for something that'll stop working wheneve rit wants and actually has a lot of problems? AND you have to pay more for sports and kids tv and movies? Sure.

SCAM!!!!!

Those are my three reasons, this got a bit political and perchance controversial towards the end but it's my truth. Sky Broadband lowkey sucks and I need the people to know it. During a recession (because thats what we're in) and MULTIPLE wars happening worldwide, this seems very small and insignificant but it's a real bother as well in Ireland and the UK I think. (Not to mention the whole RTE debacle that went down in Ireland not too long ago)

#ireland #Sky broadband #broadband #uk #is this politics?#i mean i talk about the recession #hating #i am a hater #during this day and age fifty euro for tv is ridiculous #tv and film #i'd rather pirate everything #pirating #yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me

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saudade-asylum · 1 year ago

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seeing as how quarantine is about to end for me (i’m moving back to london for uni on october 3rd) i figured i’d make a bullet list of all the things i’ve done/learnt these past 6 months :)

——its gonna get dark kids——

• i put a brown box dye on my head and i have not been a brunette since 2014. thats 6 years. i hate it but i also like it????

• my depression is a lot worse than i thought :) and i think i may have something else along side that and i am in desperate need of therapy :))))

• if i don’t have false nails on i will immediately bite my nails down to nubs and when i run out of nail i will progress to the skin around my nail bed and further. there is no stopping it. i have begun to like the taste of the stuff that’s meant to make you hate biting your nails

• put on a stone but have lied to everyone and said i have not but my proportions have just shifted??? don’t know why everyone fell for that but hey ho

• my grandmother was into incest :) there is a chance my mum was born via incest :))))) i hate it here

• i started cutting

• i tried monster for the first time (ultra blue) and i really like it

• i don’t deserve friends and so when a minor argument started i decided to use that to cut them all off because i’m a horrible person and i really think they can do better than me but i really miss every friend i’ve ever had so i’ve been stalking instagrams like crazy

• turned 20 and immediately had a minor breakdown and promptly put all my money and effort into kidcore alt fashion

• i cannot have a single conversation about politics with my parents lest we have a horrible argument and i get my feelings hurt via their racist and homophobic comments that they will immediately brush off

• i’m a lesbian, i’ve identified as lit rally every label i could before i figured it out. even labelling myself as a trans guy and ace through a super cheeky combination of compulsory heteronormativity and not understanding what a real friendship is due to all my toxic ass ex friends and thinking every boy crush was a crush when i just wanted to hang out with them. rip (ace people are still cool though and i love them all they’re like the family of your ex gf who you still love and hang out with)

• i tried the pink monster and it’s fucking RANK

• i spent over £2000 (my student loan) this lockdown on useless mindless shit of which includes colouring books i haven’t used, a mini fridge, a shit ton of earrings, a shit ton of takeaways, every sims expansion pack, and several plush animals

• told my parents that i’d spent over £2000 and started sobbing so now they seem to be taking the mental health thing a bit more seriously and have agreed to let me go see my mates in london and pay for it which is actually nice :)

• my mate had to cancel and none of my other mates wanted to see me / weren’t in the area the one day i was down so instead i walked around for so long that both of my heels burst open

• i have left my hair brown the whole lockdown but now i’m going back to art uni in london and now im thinking i need to dye it something cool or no one will be able to tell i’m a) gay b) actually arty or they’ll just think i’m a background character and no one will talk to me

• since my last bullet point about weight i have gained another 1/2 stone and am now 17 stone. i have 47 days till i go back to uni and i’m not really sure what to do. i think if i could get back to my initial weight of 15 stone before i go back i’d be ecstatic but i’m not sure how realistic that is? i’ve done diets in the past that have let me lose a stone but not sure how to do it now cause i’m veggie??

• it’s my fault my mums in pain because if i wasn’t greedy and going to uni then they’d have the money to pay for my mums knee replacement and she’d be able to get a better job and make friends in a non toxic work environment

• the only reason my parents aren’t getting a divorce is because it’s too expensive - according to my mum

• i’ve given up on the whole losing weight thing because i’m honestly too fucking sad to stop using food to fill any disappointment in myself. it’s actually incredibly difficult to stop eating

• since saying i was giving up on dieting i’ve actually ended up eating less??? not sure what my brains doing up there but hey ho i’m liking the development

• started crying when a minecraft streamer said i was smart for a suggestion i made (wasn’t even minecraft related)

#ive been updating this as lockdown continued

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the-sunshine-dims · 2 years ago

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I posted 3,597 times in 2022

That's 2 more posts than 2021!

193 posts created (5%)

3,404 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@emphasis-on-the-oopsie

@stillebesat

@theatresweetheart

@djpurple3

@spinaroos-47

I tagged 544 of my posts in 2022

#fin speaks - 147 posts

#toh spoilers - 121 posts

#toh - 53 posts

#thanks to them spoilers - 40 posts

#the owl house - 34 posts

#the worm house - 30 posts

#jwcc spoilers - 26 posts

#fin liveblogs - 23 posts

#self reblog - 20 posts

#jwcc season 5 - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#even if people have the oportunity to see my past fandom sins (*cough cough* south park *cough cough*) i just dont like moving all my stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

three seconds

After months of inactivity i present you a fic for a different fandom becuase it emotionally wrecked me

ao3

Words: 1355

Summary: Hunter runs from the owl house

Contents and Warnings: hollow mind spoilers, hunter angst, ambiguous/open ending, implied/referenced child abuse,

_____

It took exactly three seconds for everything to crash down onto Hunter.

Every horror, every emotion.

And the terrifying realization that his unc- Belos, wanted to kill him.

Three seconds and he couldn’t breathe. trying desperately to get air in his lungs but it just didn’t work , he felt like was choking and he ripped his cape off- the cape he had held beloved only mere hours earlier- and just stared at it in abstract horror, the sudden taste of bile mixed with dirt overwhelming his senses.

He needs to run.

He needs to hide .

See the full post

48 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

i grief ordered a flapjack plush right after thanks to them aired from the mystery shack and its so funny because

man looks like everyone did, we all coping dhdh

51 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

ah yes, the episodes after kings tide, their actually my favorite <3

85 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

what kind of monster

Ao3

Words: 5.8k

Summary: “Sometimes people just aren’t good”

Hunter, knew that,

But what did that mean for him, who even after everything, still missed belos?

(or: Hunter, after thinking about it for a while, asked Eda a question, and then promptly internalized the answer. but eventually, it all comes to a head, and he gets comfort and some more answers that he may not know what to do with, but will help him cope in the future)

Contents and Warnings: minor injury, hunter angst, lots of mentioned child abuse and manipulation, panic attacks, abuse mindset, hurt/comfort, happy ending, post-season two finale, minor character death (belos),

______

“Sometimes people just aren’t good”

That answer had repeated in Hunter's brain on loop for days.

He still didn’t know how to feel about it.

See the full post

91 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i’m never ganna stop crying about the fact that becuase eda never taught king to call her mom litterally everytime he just calls her her name it has the same meaning, like at least at first he probably learned her name through other people calling her it, and then her calling herself that, so little baby king was just like “:] yeah that’s eda” with the same weight as “:] yeah that’s my mom” becuase thats how kids work, to him eda is just interchangable with mom, becuase eda is his mom, and his mom’s name is eda.

and that is what she is to him, she raised him, she always looked out for him, she always protected him, she even managed to get a human to help her out when king lost his burgerqueen crown, becuase it mattered to king, so she did everything she could to get it back.

she is his mom, she just doesnt call herself it, so king never calls her it. also even once he realizes ‘yes he once had a biological parent’ he only even considers his dad, he doesnt even acknowledge that he probably had a mom too, becuase in his mind, that role’s taken already.

like shes literally just his mom, she raised him since he was a hatchling, she always took care of him, she even had one of those ‘becuase i said so’ moments in season 1 with him acting like a son would, groaning and pouting before going along with it anyways also i know this is already probably pretty well known becuase he literally changed his name to king clawthorn which from the scene has the weight of adoption.

but still, everytime he calls eda ‘eda’ its the same as him calling her ‘mom’ and that is making me emotional.

104 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false #fin speaks #it is halarious to me that i have posted exactly twice more then last year

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narwhalandchill · 6 months ago

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thank u for the addition! but ehhhhhhh im sorry i really dont see this transactional + desperation aspect u speak of personally so agree to disagree more than anything n i have my own view of why his relationships to people are like That

firstly im not rly sure where this widespread idea of childe being someone desperate for other peoples approval seems to be coming from but canon-wise thats... not really the case to me. its never been. he has always been consistently confident and self-assured to the point where lore in things like his boss drops and profile alike make a point of repeatedly emphasizing the extent of his arrogance and ego. this isnt a desperate individual (i wouldnt rly call nor consider him a narcissist but lets say hes Way closer to that than some anxious wreck), so like, that motivation doesnt track for me. he Likes approval and praise and attention yes he loves that shit (attention whore <3) but hes not dependent on it. he knows who he is and what he wants.

secondly. on the specific relationships.

with teucer; i dont really think childes exactly unaware of the unsustainable nature of his lies - idt hes really called attention to it explicitly so far, but the continued theme of promises and taking responsibility for those of them broken in his SQ and how he is generally way more self-aware of the contradictory nature and relationship between all the different sides of himself - despite all being true to who he is obvi - than ppl give him credit for (the self admitted "kind of a bad guy" and things like "even good guys lie and manipulate at times… and bad guys have their own doubts and misgivings", for a few) arent rly. giving me oh hes completely clueless on what hes doing. he calls it defending childhood dreams; i think he knows teucer will grow up eventually; he himself did, after all. now i obviously do think theres that selfish and prideful element to how much he wants to Keep being that perfect big brother but again. i think the motivation has nothing to do with transactions, its just abt having a familial dynamic untainted by The Ajax 14 Incident and trying to preserve the purity of that perception as long as he can despite how shitty it is for teucer and the best way he knows to construct that relationship is through the high effort Perfect Big Brother & Loyal Knight (TM) persona, same way he wears any of his facets as a mask for any particular opera stage that asks for it.

as with his parents, methinks the tension slash possible painful history there goes way too deep for anything in that relationship in particular to be generalized for childes overall social dynamics. i think him sending them things is at most a way of taking care of his family without ruffling feathers at home bc again, the self-awareness thing - id assume childe in his 20s knows he was out of control and in the wrong back then at 14 (altho while not a fan of taking that fanon trauma angle at all for what was behind that ordeal. i also dont rly blame him for being unable to acclimate back to teyvat post 3 months in abyss w 0 support either; even skirk an actual adult avoids the surface bc of that reason aka adjustment difficulties lmao and he was just a teen with no proper outlet before the fatui gave him one), and understands the damage cannot be undone. and because nobody wants to talk and open those wounds, he substitutes for actions instead for amends and olive branches.

the tsaritsa is just. not sth i see at all. again. childes attitude towards the tsaritsa isnt one of a revered deity whose godly approval hes desperate for at all - he respects her for one reason and one reason only and its that shes a fellow warrior. and one who by serving he can continue accessing the stronger enemies and challenges he needs to reach his ambitions. like i do think theres a more transactional element to his loyalty to the fatui in general than most ppl do (like. i can fairly easily see him not backstabbing rly but ditching the fatui if either of those clauses falls; so 1) tsaritsa loses his respect or 2) he overtakes the fatui in power and they no longer provide him a way to pursue his goals. or 3) they mess w his family lmao its so funny when ppl speculate on this not considering how it might backfire on the fatui lol) but thats exactly bc he is Not desperate for a gods approval just for the sake of it. like yes, loyalty and keeping promises is a big thing for childe and he v much takes pride in his duties as a harbinger and practically feeds his overgrown ego an exclusive high calorie diet of good-at-my-job juice. but a man that is explicitly out there to grind the thrones of the divine to dust under his heel is not someone id consider a character thats scared of the tsaritsa tossing him away if hes useless lmaoo like hot take but to me. SHE has more to worry about HIM ditching HER lets just. say that 💀💀

also. the human weapon thing rly gets overblown im sorry. childe puts IMMENSE emphasis on staying alive to see the end of his journey as the most important thing. he talks about it constantly. he is not unaware of the risks he takes and the dangers that come with his path - thats why he makes such a point of the value of life (curiously also sth he shares with skirk; did he get it from her?) irregardless of the outcome of a battle. he knows his life could get him killed and is staunchly committed to Not Doing That. like this is just very clearly established in lore. ppl see him as suicidal or self-destructive and its like nope. he takes risks yes and is both reckless and overconfident at times but theres a very clear line for. what he knows he can and cannot survive and his will to live things through is one of those very pointed characteristics unique to childe that tend to be forgotten in favor of more fanon trope aligned interpretations aka Having A Death Wish or not realizing the risks he takes

(altho editing to add in here that yes could be argued that he lacks a plan for an actual long term future; he has a voiceline abt overthrowing the world and then dueling us to the death implying hes kinda just not considering a life past the point of fulfilling that grand ambition but also. he brings it up himself hes clearly self aware there)

then zhongli; again i think its reading a bit too deep into it, esp since the whole sugar daddy thing as funny as i find the dynamic myself as well is sth fandom has rly made a bigger deal than it arguably ever was in canon lmao. childes a very generous person to begin with and also had an additional ulterior motive for tying the fatuis finances into his "working" (business dinner inappropriate flirting into what-are-we into YOURE WHAT (fucking fight me) etc etc etc chili my dearest) relationship with zhongli as a way to add potential strings to pull with the wangsheng funeral parlor. so like there was already a strategic aspect to that. but also like. i just think hes a filthy rich guy who isnt that invested in the elitism of that position that enjoys the company of a person who tends not to think about the cost aspect of his many hobbies and happens to Somehow be strangely unfazed by ajax' general existence unlike most ppl. so its like. i dont think its that deep. they hang out, zhongli forgor the mora and ajax has more than enough to spare and far too little care not to throw that mora around like its confetti

now. what to me feels like a more prevalent theme in the dynamics you mentioned and that i can 100% agree with is that childe puts a great emphasis on the value of actions. as ways of representing his promises and ties to others as opposed to anything more abstract. you say he needs to be useful to other people to be allowed to be around them, as stated before, i dont really agree with the desperation element there, but i do agree being able to provide acts of service and be competent and helpful is a big aspect of and v important to his character but its just the desperation thats not rly sth i see. its about his own capability to do those things for others that means a lot to him. in terms of pride and ego and how he views himself. thats really the only thing. making and keeping a promise is an action. taking responsibility for breaking it is one too. loyalty is more of a nebulous concept (hence his self-admitted ambivalence towards such things in labyrinth warriors act II that ppl still think isnt canon text bc it goes against popular fanon where hes just Loyal period and not with a abyss shrimp colored asterix lol) but fulfilling his tasks and excelling at what he is asked to do are actions that center him and make his actions as the defining cornerstore of his relationships to others. like that to me is the central theme of all those relationships and its also why with skirk that element is absent: he knows that within the only domain their relationship takes (martial master & disciple) he is by definition the one with jack shit to offer other than following her guidance and trying to improve. she has already defined their relationship as one where this usual dynamic of his actions isnt as central. but bc ofc he would hes also Still trying to impress her thru his actions and it shows in the way hes desperate (like. unironically. THATS desperation for approval to me like childe has Such a Please Notice My Efforts I Worked So Hard on This PLEASE energy towards HER that he rly has for no one else JKWDJKJKWDJKD puppy crush at 14 moment hes so cute. tsaritsa megafan ajax? nah its all skirk. like her approval actually matters to him So Much you can see it) to see her again and challenge her to use both hands to defeat him the next time. like the reason skirk doesnt fit the 'pattern' is bc they just have a different dynamic and one that was formed before his current (insufferable) self and attitude was fully formed and he became the kind of person hes these days. like it has the remnants of baby ajax there before he killed his old self and picked the bones clean to remake himself into a warrior

and like this was partially in the og post wrt teucer already but overall i think the very like. grandiose nature of the roles he seeks to occupy in his relationships isnt a sign of desperation or thinking any less wouldnt be enough for ppl to tolerate him around but instead a reflection of his perfectionism, drive and ambition as well as his massive fucking ego. he doesnt want to be a Perfect Brother (TM) or at least the idea of it in his head (which can be a source of dubious judgements to begin w) bc he thinks only that is enough, he wants to be that bc he wants to excel at everything he does and put his all into it. hes not content with being average he MUST be the best and work towards being the best. being Just A Harbinger (like that by itself isnt a frightening achievement at his age already) that does his job as he should is too lowly of a bar when he always always demands more from himself to keep improving. so he strives to be a lethal weapon of war for the tsaritsa that commits to his duties with surgical precision. and so on. its not that he Has to be such an overachiever but that he Wants to be. he Wants to surpass his own limits every step of the way and watch the boundaries expand in front of him as he proceeds onwards on his path (lab warriors act III)

and as much as all this analysis stands i also think hes kinda just. a practical fairly straightforward guy by the end of it. and letting his actions speak for him is just a part of how he rolls imo like showing commitment by putting effort in a relationship through his actions is just a characterization thing. its easier to act to him than to do anything else, and slotting into a specific Role within a dynamic like the Loyal Knight Brother or Weapon of War just lets him allocate and manage which parts of himself he involves in any specific relationship

(also. its an inch resting quote unquote "loophole" to me that lowkey if u think abt it. foil hat on. he is loyal to the tsaritsa As her weapon of war. as tartaglia the 11th. as that particular mask that character. but thats also v much not All That He Is. so like. if u think abt it. isnt there also plenty of sides/roles of him that technically have never sworn that allegiance to her 🤔 hmm)

but yeah this got long jwdjkwdjkwjkdjkdjkdjkwd im afraid i couldnt rly agree with the central point ur making there but. theres v much interesting stuff to look at with childes relationships for sure & and this is just my very quick rambles on some of it. not very coherent but just stuff ive thought abt For A Long While wjkdjkwdjk

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

#hope this isnt. Too much. again . agree to disagree obvi and as attached as i am to my personal analysis of his chara #its just a character jkwjkjkwdkjd #i am soooooo normal abt himm and his weird fucking brain #also like it was just a side tangent but i am literally SUCH a . every single one of those tsaritsa megafan stan ajax hcs. nope nope nope.#its a very professional sense of respect there i will fight on this. but skirk? SKIRK?????? oh my fucking god . hes so embarrassing #like especially the way his personality wouldve Shifted over time during those 3 months. so he just gets Worse (TM) as time goes on #bc early on hes just starstruck & not yet an overconfident menace so its like. hes just staring at her in awe v quiet and complacent #but then he starts developing the ego. and then its like hey master was this good was i good im super good right???#i cut that head off super clean?????? please???? right?? like. he gets Cocky. and skirk is there like :I its so fucking funny.#just give him a compliment maam hes fucking dying. your student is dying and youre just standing there. maam #genshin #rambles #childeposting #long post #discussion

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imthebadguyyy · 3 years ago

Text

A/N - based off of this sinful photograph

Suggested listening - Wildside by Normani and Kiss It Better by Rihanna

Wildside

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You've been on tour for a while, and you miss your loverboy. But when he surprises you on tour, its bound to get spicy.

Warnings - smut (not well written)

The snap of hips. The soft groans and moans. The sound of pants. The sound of Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' blaring through the walls. The bed knocking against the wall as Lewis's hands squeezed your hips, the intensity of the thrust pushing the bed against the wall. The high pitched moan that left your mouth as you reached your high, eyes closing as stars exploded behind your eyelids, as your boyfriend came right after you, your walls clenching as he came. Even after reaching your high, you didn't want to open your eyes, far too consumed in the earth shattering pleasure that was coursing through your veins, until a soft hand reached to pull your chin up, soft brown eyes looking into your own, clouded with lust and euphoria.

Pulling your mouth into his in a heated kiss, Lewis moved his hand to rest on your bare stomach, squeezing your tummy softly as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away he let his head droop onto your bare chest. "That was.." he began, far too blissed out to think of an adjective. "Godly" you said, chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to come to terms with the intensity of your orgasm. Laughing he leaned back up to kiss your nose, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. You heard the tap running, and the sound of the dustbin opening and closing. You closed your eyes again, the aftershocks still coursing through your body.

Opening them again slowly, you saw Lewis walk towards you, towel in hand, and a lazy smile on his face. He gently cleaned your thighs, finishing with kisses on both of them. He reached up and wiped your torso, which was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, before running the towel over your nose, cheeks, eyes and mouth. He dropped the towel in the clothes hamper near the bathroom door, pulling on his boxer shorts and and pulling out one of his t shirts from the cupboard. "What about the clothes on the floor" you piped up, finally beginning to wake up from your post pleasure state. "When did it get so messy?" He said, spotting 5 different clothing items in 5 different corners of the room. "When you decided to run your hand up my dress in a restraunt" you replied, throwing him a fake glare.

"You liked it" was his cocky reply, smirk spreading over his face as you flushed and ran a hand through your hair. "I did not" you lied, watching as he raised his eyebrows. "Oh really ? Thats not what you were saying 5 minutes ago- oh wait, you weren't saying anything at all. You were too busy moaning my name to say anything else-" "OKAY fine I loved it. Now shut up and bring your fine ass back for cuddles"

*-*-*

That was a month ago. Now you've been away for nearly one and half months, away with the girls on the LM5 tour. You loved touring, it was the best part of being a singer, getting to see the music you girls made together come to life on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of screaming fans. It was a thrill like no other. The only problem was that you were away from home. Distance was never an issue for the two of you, after all, he was a Formula 1 driver. It was very rare that he was home, except during the breaks and the gaps till race weekend, but ever since you two had started dating, he tried to be with you whenever you could. Sometimes, your shows would be in places where the races were too, and then he'd definitely turn up. But it was a difficult thing to do all the time, and some nights on tour were spent pulling all nighters as you talked to each other on the phone, till one of you eventually fell asleep.

But you knew when you started dating him, this wouldn't exactly be a regular relationship. The two of you were doing your dream jobs, and they were both extraordinary. And you were willing to put in the work you had to put in to make the relationship work, and you did. Yet here you were in Madrid, feeling heartbroken and desperately wanting your boyfriend by your side. It had been a rough couple of weeks, you were jet lagged and tired, and although this was the second leg of the tour, and you had had a break, it was tiring. It was hard going to bed every night alone, when all you wanted was to cuddle your boyfriend.

Little did you know, Lewis was feeling the same. In fact he had missed you so much, he had told Angela and his publicist to cancel all events for a week, while he flew out to Madrid to see you. He had missed you, he had missed you more than he could put into words. But he also wanted to surprise you. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Leigh Anne's contact, and sent her a text.

Lewis, Leigh Anne

Hey. Is Y/N asleep ?

Hey! No, she's in an outfit fitting.

Okay that's good. I need your help with something.

Sure how can I help ?

I want to surprise her by coming to see you guys in Madrid.

Oh thats wonderful ! She's been a little down in the dumps. I think she misses you.

I miss her too.

Let me know when, and I'll send a car to pick you up.

I'll be there on Saturday. Landing at 3:15 and I should be at the hotel by 4:30. Then I can get ready and surprise her at the show.

Okay done. I'll send the car around 5:30,so you can rest for a bit. You should be here by 6. The show's at 6:15.

Thank you! Can't wait : )

I'm so happy youre coming to see her ! I'll let the girls know.

*-*-*

As soon as he had finished texting, Lewis decided to start packing, the prospect of seeing you again sending a buzz of happiness running along his veins. God, he had missed you a lot. He turned to Roscoe, the dog sitting by his feet, looking up at his dad with his head cocked to one side. "I'm going to go see Mumma, Roscoe" he explained, smiling as the doggo barked in response. He wouldn't be able to take him to Madrid, he'd have to leave him with a dog sitter, but he couldn't feel too bad about it, since he had had Roscoe with him even when you were gone. And besides, Roscoe enjoyed the dog creche. He couldn't wait for Saturday.

Later in the evening, he sat down with a glass of wine, while the ringtone of your FaceTime rang through the empty house. After a few more seconds of ringing, the call was picked up, your tired face coming into view. "Hi darling" he said, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, and how much you were struggling to keep them open. "Hi bubs. Did you finish eating?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "No, I've ordered soup" (did anyone get the reference ;) "Oh okay" was the reply. "What about you? What time is it?" "Its 9:20 AM" you replied, gently rubbing your eyes again, forcing yourself to stay awake.

"9:20? Thats pretty late baby. Why are you still sleepy?" "We were recording till 4 AM, so Im functioning on like 5 hours sleep right now" "Oh damn. Go back to sleep then baby" "Can't, rehearsal" was you reply, making him furrow his eyebrows. "Okay I guess. But don't tire yourself out" "I won't" "I love you" he said, smiling at you. "I love you"

*-*-*-*

The Madrid show was always a fun one. The fans were loud and you loved it. They were one of the best crowds you girls ever played for, and the show had its own adrenaline and excitement. But it was difficult to give a 100% when you were tired, but you really tried, you did. During Power, you hit highnotes you didnt think you could, during Woman Like Me you danced like there was no tomorrow. During Wasabi, you brought your sass level up to a 1000. It was during Bounce Back that you caught sight of a very familiar face in the audience. Unable to actually grasp if you had actually seen Lewis, you turned to Jade, who was on your side, and looked back at the crowd and back to her, asking for confirmation.

The smirk she gave you was answer enough. After that, focusing on giving an excellent performance increased tenfold. Every swirl of your hips, every flip of your hair, every wink you threw at the audience, it was all five times sexier. In the crowd, your boyfriend was well aware of what you were doing, and it was fair to say that you were succeeding at it. He could feel an uncomfortable sensation around his pants region, as his cock twitched uncomfortably in his pants. He couldn't wait till the show was over, and you two could have a show of your own.

*-*-*

"That was amazing darling!" Lewis said, spotting the 5 of you in your dressing room. "Oh look its Mr. Loverboy!" Perrie said, cackling as you rolled your eyes at her, before running up to your lover and jumping into his arms. "Hiya Bub! I missed you!" "I missed you too love. That's why I surprised you. I couldn't stand another day without you at home" he said, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you stable as you jumped into his arms. A chorus of "awws" echoed throughout the room, as the girls watched your cute little interaction. What wasn't cute however was the comment Lewis made in your ear, hiding his face in your ear so that the girls couldn't see. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel. I saw the performance you were putting on for me baby. You have no idea how hard I got, how uncomfortable I was standing in front of so many people when all I really wanted to do was fuck you"

You could feel your mouth become dry, and your heartbeat quicken, and you could feel the area between your thighs become wet. You tightened your grip around him, letting your crotch rub against his very softly. "I think it's time to go" you mumbled against his ear. "Okay girls, as lovely as it was to see you, I think it's time we go back to the hotel. I'm pretty worn out from travelling as well" "Yeah I'm pretty tired too" you replied, faking a large yawn. "Alright then, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" Leigh Anne said, leaning forward to give you a hug. After you finished hugging all the girls, the two of you made your way to the car, eagerly waiting to get back home.

The car ride home was tense. The tension was apparent in the air, reverberating through the air, choking you in a way you revelled in. The air was thick with tension, and it was suffocating you in the best way possible. It was almost too much to take. When the hotel came into sight, you practically leapt out of the car, and rushed to the door, an equally ruffled Lewis beside you. But he was not going to give in to you so easily. He enjoyed seeing you flustered. And he was not a person that gave someone what they wanted when they asked for it,no. He was going to have you desperate for it. Smirking to himself, he made his way to the reception, grabbing you by the waist as he went.

Throwing him a confused look you followed, slightly frustrated. "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man at the reception asked, eyes going slightly wide as he recognized the two of you. "Hi! I just wanted to ask, till what time is your pool and spa open?" He asked, sliding his hand down to the back of your dress. "The pool closes at 10 pm sir, and the spa at 9 pm. We open the pool at 7 am and the spa at 11pm"he replied, struggling to maintain his professionalism as he spoke to one of the best drivers in Formula 1. "Alright thank you. And what time does breakfast start?" Lewis asked, hand pressing down on your ass, ever so discreetly. "Breakfast is from 6-10 am sir" "Thank you so much"

Next to him, you were fuming. Of course he was going to ask questions to which he already knew the answers to. A painful throb between your legs made you let out a small whimper, and the man at the reception looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Ma'am are you alright?" He asked, eyeing your stiff posture and tense state. "Yes, just tired, thank you" you replied, a little stiffly, but it was hard to concentrate when Lewis's promise of fucking you senseless kept replaying in your mind. "Alright then, good night" Lewis said, biting back a smirk at your flustered state. He knew getting you all riled up would lead to some seriously earth shattering sex, and he couldn't wait. But first, he definitely wanted to tease you, to push you over the edge, just a little more.

Your room was on the 16th floor, and as the two of you made your way into the elevator, he eyed you up and down, eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts. The minute the door shut, he pushed you against the wall, capturing your lips in a steamy kiss you'd be remembering the next day. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing hard, eliciting a moan from your lips. The moment your lips parted, he was pushing his tongue into yours, his other hand coming up to pull on your hair roughly, relishing in the gasp that left your lips. As suddenly as he started, he stopped, pulling back and standing almost nonchalantly against the wall.

Trying to wrap your head around what happened, you gripped the wall with your hand, feeling your legs grow weak to a point where you felt like you couldn't stand on your own. You could feel your wetness dripping, threatening to run down your thighs, as the throbbing became even more painfully exciting. You looked down at the floor, eyes closing as your frustration grew more and more by the second. Finally, with a little 'ding', the elevator stopped at the 16th floor. The moment the door opened you stepped out on wobbly legs, trying your best to walk properly. But of course, that wasn't going to happen. As you turned one long corridor, Lewis suddenly grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall again, to reach down and suck on your neck. You let out a gasp, and tried to run your crotch against his, but the retaliated with a slap to your ass, smirking when a high pitched moan left your lips. Lifting you up against the wall, he mumbled against your ear "the key card" your clouded mind was unable to process the words, too consumed by slight relief you were getting. "Get the key card baby" he repeated. This time you noted it, reaching down to his pants pocket to pull out the key card. You couldn't resist running your hand over his cock, feeling how rock hard he was. The thought of him fucking you senseless returned, and you let out a groan.

Grabbing the card from your hand, he opened the door, propping you up against the door in your bedroom. His eyes were filled with a raw, animal desire, as he dropped the card on the floor and reached up to unzip your dress. He ripped the zipper down, your dress falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. He locked his eyes on your heaving chest, hand reaching up to grab your chin, pulling you in for a searing kiss. His hand slid up your torso, reaching behind to unhook the red lacy bra you were wearing, letting it drop to the floor as he took in the glorious sight in front of him. You waited, wanting him to just touch you, but he just stared, eyes looking into yours, clearly saying "beg for it"

You couldn't help the soft "please" that left your lips, too desperate for some sort of touch. "Please what?' Lewis said, tightening his grip on your waist. "Please" was all you could say again, nearly whimpering again at the rough look in his eyes. "Use your words baby. Now, please what?" "Please just touch me!" You finally gasped out, moaning loudly when he licked a stripe down your chest before taking your right tit into his mouth. His hand fondled the left one, running his thumb over your erect nipple, the rough pad of his thumb sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His mouth sucked on the skin of your tit, before moving down to bite down on your nipple. You gasped again, pain and pleasure coursing through your body as his tongue ran over your nipple over and over till it nearly felt raw. He switched his actions, moving his mouth to your left tit instead, letting his hand harshly fondle the other. He continued the same process of biting, licking and sucking, till he was satisfied with himself. "I fucking love this baby. Seeing you all wet and needy for me. So what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? My cock? Or does my baby want them all ?" He asked, watching as your pupils dilated and you let out a strangled moan.

You let your crotch rub against his thigh, gasping when the friction went straight to your core. "Look at you darling. I asked you what you what you wanted, and you picked my thighs? Well, I want to see you dripping. I want to see you cum on my fingers, my mouth, my thighs and especially on my cock. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again till you can't even stand on your own fucking legs. I want your thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to see you moan and groan and scream my name so loud, by tomorrow everyone in this hotel will know my name, because you'll spend all night screaming it" you moaned again, his words going straight to your core."Please Lewis, God, just make me cum please!" The desperation of your cry was enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping your body onto the soft mattress.

He pulled of shirt, unbuttoning every button so you could see him do it. He could see your eyes grow dark, as his compass tattoo came into sight. You had told him it was one of your favourites, and he had used it against you ever since you had told him that. Smirking at you, he climbed onto the bed, lying down between your legs. You pushed yourself up against the headboard, spreading your legs wide for him. His eyes grew dark, as your core came into his view, shimmering with your juices. A near animalistic growl left his mouth, the sound hitting your core. He moved so that he was situated right in front of your core. He let his eyes take in the sight of you in front of him, snapping back to reality when you let out a groan of frustration. Throwing you a devilishly reassuring smile, he inched neared and nearer, till his nose was nearly touching your clit. Then he just lay there. Not moving. You could feel your heartbeat hammering against your chest, chest heaving up and down, an alarming intense feeling growing in your tummy. Finally, when it became too much you let out a small scream of frustration "Oh for fucks sake Lewis please just fuck me!" Your outburst brought a smile to his face. "Oh I will. Just not yet" and with that, he ran a finger along your slit, before finally slipping it into you. You let out a moan, finally getting the friction you had been desperate for. His fingers circled your clit, thumb gently pressing down, before he removed it,only to slam it back down on your sensitive clit, earning a scream of pleasure from you.

He slipped a second finger into you, scissoring around your clit, as your desperate cries of "oh, oh baby! Fuck, fuck lewis-" were lost in the heat of the moment. He leaned his head down to your core, letting his tongue run along your slit too, before licking around it, collecting your wetness on his tongue, before letting it harshly circle your clit. You bucked up into his mouth, feeling his tongue wrap around your clit. He sucked the nub harshly, his fingers still moving in and out of you. "Oh God, Oh GOD, Lew-I- oh! Oh God!" Your broken moans were music to his ears as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You could feel a strange intensity growing in your stomach, feeling a lot stronger than your usual orgasm. The band in your tummy was threatening to snap, but you needed that something more to help it snap. That something more came when Lewis sucked your clit into his mouth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.

With a cry of "Oh fucking hell, Lew-" you camr gushing into his mouth, your juices coating his fingers and gushing onto his tongue, as he let you ride out your orgasm on his deadly skilled tongue. Well, he had got his wish. Your thighs were shaking around his head, as your body tried to come to terms with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body. Looking down, you saw him with his painfully hard cock, grinding down on the sheet, as he let out a moan at the relief the bedsheets gave him. Raising an eyebrow, you patted your thigh, signaling him to come over to you. "You loved on me so well bubs. But I can see how hard you are. Do you want to use me to get off?" You asked, watching the effect you had on him. All he could do was nod, as you sat up on your knees. "Stand up" you ordered, getting up from the bed as well.

You walked over to the wall, letting your body rest against it. Somewhat confused, Lewis followed you, standing in the space between your legs. "I tried to get off using your thighs didn't I? I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. So use me. Use my thigh. Get off" looking at you in pure shock, your boyfriend moved forward, groaning when you pushed your leg against his throbbing cock. He relished in the friction, slowly beginning to move against your leg, moaning when he began to rub against your leg. He began to hump your leg faster, as the pleasure began to build up in his body, before you reached your hand down to cup his length in your hands, moaning when you realized your fingers didn't quite meet. You ran your fingers along his length. You pumped him, letting your thumb circle his sensitive tip, eliciting a soft whine from him. You circled faster, moving down to your knees, and letting your tongue run up his shaft very softly. Above you, Lewis slammed his hands against the wall, groaning when you took him into your mouth.

But a part of him still wanted to cum inside when he was fucking you (in a condom, because wrap it before you tap it) so he pulled you back up, smirking when you whined. "I know baby, but I just really wanna fuck you now. Back on the bed please, unless you want me to take you here against this wall" practically running, you clambered onto the bed. You watched as Lewis pulled out a condom, ripping the packet open before climbing back on top of you. He let his hand rest on your hip, eyes temporarily losing some of the animalistic need that had been present in them. Leaning down, he connected your lips together in a kiss, a searing, intense kiss that took your breath away. "Ready love?" He asked, looking into your eyes, looking to see if there was even a slight hint that you didn't want this. But you did.

With a sudden jolt, he thrust himself into you, groaning when your warm walls clamped down on him. His hips thrust into you, starting off slow, letting you adjust to his massive length. "My sweet baby,taking me so well. Does it feel good?" You couldn't even respond, mouth agape, as his the pace of his thrusts increased. "Answer me" he said, suddenly stopping. Almost crying out at the loss of pleasure, you looked at him with desperation. "Yes yes, fuck it feels so good, please don't stop!" "Thats all you had to say baby" he said, before pushing in again, slowly. Then, he pulled back out. Looking at him in confusion, you gasped when he slammed back into you, a high pitched moan of "Lewis!" leaving your lips. He moved so that he had a better hold of your hips, rocking the both of you back and forth, the intensity of his thrusts was so much that the bed knocked back against the wall. What he wasn't expecting was for you to take his left thumb up to your mouth, running your tongue over it before sucking on it.

Moaning, he started thrusting into you even harder, shifting so that he was directly hitting your g spot. "Oh, God ! Oh fuck, Baby that feels so good please keep going keep-oh!" The cry that left your lips was so loud, you were sure Perrie in the room next to yours had heard you. "Fuck baby, you take me so well" Lewis said, as he nearly hammered your g spot. He was so, so damn close to cumming, and when you leant up and bit a sensitive spot on his neck, he came, gushing into the guard between you two, but he wanted you to cum to, so he reached down to pinch and rub your clit, still riding out his orgasm in you, moaning when you came with a scream. He winced when your core spasmed on his sensitive cock, and he pulled out slowly, before collapsing next to you. Panting, you curled up to him, letting your hand rest on his compass tattoo. "Okay that was Godlike" you said, earning a tired laugh from your lover.

"Yeah it really was. I missed you" he said, allowing you to nuzzle into his neck, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "I missed you too" you replied, kissing the tattoo. "I love you too" As you lay there together, still revelling in the moment, your phone buzzed. Reaching over to check it, you saw your groupchat with the girls flooding with messages.

-*-*-

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Y/N, I'm filing a noise complaint. 🍆

Jade ✨ - Pez 😂 let them be. It's been a while for her.

Leigh 🦋- She really got some tonight huh? 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️- LOL she did !! And it was obviously some goooood 'some' *wink wink*

Jade ✨- I could hear em too, and Im on the other end of the hall.

Leigh 🦋 - I know I did too! Must be some damn good sex. 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Go Y/N !!

Jade ✨ - Can't wait till she reads this.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Are they still going?!

Leigh 🦋 - No 😂 she's reading the messages. Y/N!! Yoohoo!

You - yes I'm here 🖕🏽

Jade ✨ - Did you have fun babe 😏

You - ..... yes

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - babe you can't really say no because we heard you

You- Im not saying I didn't have fun. But you guys need to calm down.

Leigh 🦋 - But its funnn

You - okay byeeee ❤

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Going for a round 2 😏?

You - okay I said bye.

Leigh 🦋 - she is !!

Jade ✨ - Go babe !

You - I need to leave this group.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - No we love you !! ❤

Leigh 🦋 - Yeah don't leave us ❤

Jade ✨- Don't leave meee ! ❤

You - Haha I'd never leave you girls ❤ now bye.

Jade ✨ - bye babe !

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - bye you sexy minx 😏

Leigh - bye hun 💙

*-*-*

Smiling to yourself, you put your phone away, to see Lewis looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Who was it?" "Just the girls" you said, cuddling back up to him. "What did they say?" Giggling, you looked up to him and kissed his neck. "They said they're going to file a noise complaint. And they asked me if we were going for a round two" "Were we really that loud?" He asked, looking at you in surprise. "Yeah, even Leigh heard us and she's at the end of the hall!" "Damn" Lewis said laughing. "Well," he said, looking at you again, with a cheeky look in his eye, "they were right about one thing" "And what is that?" You asked, smiling at him mischievously. "We are going for a round two"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@maxverstappenx @grandestrategia (because you are worth it 🦋💙)

#lewis hamilton #formula 1 #f1 #sir lewis #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x reader smut #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 imagines #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 drivers x reader #f1 drivers imagines #f1 drivers smut #littlemix!reader #little mix 🙌🏼🦋#little mix

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i-cant-sing · 4 years ago

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Ooh, you write for Greek Mythology? Perhaps Zeus kidnapping a male reader, and basically not listening to them at all. Zeus getting more and more annoyed that the reader fails to care about all the opulence, grandeur, and power Zeus has. The reader just trying to escape and struggle. Zeus deciding to teach them a lesson to respect the king of the gods?

Yandere Zeus x male reader

I was so tempted to just write a scene where Zeus just goes boop! And turns the reader into a cow 😂😂😂😂😂 Anyways, thanks for requesting! Greek Mythology is also one of weaknesses, especially Hades, Persephone, Ares, and Hephaesteus💖💖💖

Enjoy!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

TW: gore

Yandere Zeus:

It didn't work.

Nothing works.

You laid in a fetal position on the wooden floor of your apartment; crying. Crying because of the pain.

The pain of emptying the bottle of acid into your eyes? Partly the reason.

The pain of realisation that you've lost? Mostly.

I should've just stayed there. You cried. Should've just stayed with him and let him have his way.

It would've been far less traumatising than this anyways. This, this curse that he had given you all because you didn't want to sleep with him.

Who would've thought that Zeus, the Greek God, would have become obsessed with a mere mortal like you? And then who would have even imagined that he would kidnap you and take you to Olympus; where he would confess his love for you?

You certainly didn't. You thought that maybe you were just off your meds or that this was just a really weird dream. But the reality of the situation dawned on you the longer you stayed there; the longer Zeus made his advances on you.

You didn't get why he was so infatuated with you. Or so tolerant either. You've heard all the stories about him kidnapping others and forcing himself on them, but he never once forced himself on you. He could have, but he didn't. Instead, he kept on trying to gain your affection like one would do in a normal relationship.

His palace was the main attraction of Olympus. Golden gates and marble floors and huge pillars showed the grandeur of the palace. Wine so sweet that you couldnt get enough of, yet you didnt get drunk and food so delectable, you could devour the entire table. How you wished you could stay here forever and enjoy these treats, but you knew nothing comes for free.

Zeus tried to impress you with his powers, his wealth, and everything he could give you if only you accept to be with him for eternity. He had even given you the gift of immortality, which you tried to return but couldn't.

He was being beyond generous and patient with you. But you couldn't help but feel he had a sinister ulterior motive behind those charming grey eyes.

When showing off wasn't working, he started getting physical. Brushing his hands on your body, hugging you a bit too long for it to be comfortable, even forcing you into his lap.

Of course, you struggled. Who wouldn't? A powerful god comes and whisks you away to another dimension, then proclaims his love for you and offers you all the luxurious amenities one could only dream of, only asking for your love in return? When he could easily overpower you? Yeah, something doesn't sit right.

And its not just that reason alone that you kept resisting him, you know. You've heard of his wife and sister, Hera. You've heard all the stories of how she would treat her husband's mistresses and men.

You feared her, because if anything, the Olympian Gods were famous for their cruel punishments.

You really should've remembered that when you finally flipped out on Zeus, screaming how you don't need him, don't care about him, don't and won't ever love him.

That was the first time you saw him get angry, but it was gone just as soon as it came.

He collected himself and sighed. You thought you had finally gotten through to him but instead of letting you go or even strike you with thunder for such disrespect, he did something else. “You really want to return so bad? Alright, who am I to deny my love?”

He made a bet with you. "If you can survive in your world without me for... 2 months? No, that'll be too harsh on you; 1 month, I'll let you go and never pursue you ever again. And if i win, you'll do everything I say." He smirked. "What do you say? Sounds fair?"he asked you, his eyes hinting nothing mischievous.

You knew better. You knew he was playing some really heinous game with you, where all the rules are in his favour and the odds were stacked against you. But you were desperate for escape. Plus, it was only a month right? You could do it.

But you couldn't.

Zeus had given you a parting "gift". Which you had to accept in order to leave. You didn't know what exactly it was until you returned home.

You were surprised to see everything was normal. You thought that maybe you would be kicked out of your apartment, bankrupted yourself or someone was going to kill you.

No. Nothing bad was happening to you. It was happening to everyone around you and they didn't even know it.

As it turns out, Zeus had cursed gifted you with the ability to see how someone was going to die when you looked at them. And you could warn them all about it, but no one would believe you. You couldn't prevent their deaths. And somehow, everyone around you had horrible, gruesome deaths.

You had those pictures forever embedded in your mind.

You'll never forget how your tailor friend had her hair loose and they got stuck in the sewing machine, and ripped her entire scalp off, tearing away all the nerves and blood vessels.

Or how a guy from work accidentally slipped on to the rail tracks, and was run over by the incoming train; his skin and guts stuck to the tracks. They had to pour chemicals to dissolve his remains.

Or how your pot dealer owed some people, and wasn't able to pay them so they put him through a mince machine, but the machine kept getting stuck so they chopped his already mutilated body and then threw him back into the machine, piece by piece.

It was too much.

You decided to not look at all. You wrapped your eyes in a tight bandage around your head, but all thanks to him, you could see right through them.

When that plan failed, you decided to stay at home and avoid contact with people completely. But then, you could see the deaths of people on your TV, on your phone, even of people in your dreams. And the deaths were getting more gorey and disturbing.

So, you decided to pour acid into your eyes. It was painful. And for a second, it was worth it because you couldn't see.

But they regenerated back. Because he had made you immortal. Your eyes healed back with the perfect 20/20 vision.

And thats how you were in this position right now. Crying to yourself as you finally admit to that you've lost.

"Zeus."you finally whispered, not even entirely sure you did. But that was confirmed when you felt a slight breeze behind you, causing you to cry harder.

"Shhh, darling. Its okay. I'm here now."Zeus said to you in a calming voice, as he pulled you to his chest.

"P-please make it stop. I- I'm sorry! Just make it stop please, I beg you."you cried into his chest.

He ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "Did you learn lesson, love?"he asked in a quiet tone.

You pulled your head out of his chest and nodded vigorously. "yes! Yes. I've learned it. You were right. I was wrong. I- I lost the bet. Just please make it stop-"you sobbed.

Zeus caressed your cheek, looking deep into your eyes. "Alright. Let’s go back home, okay? I've missed you a lot. 2 weeks apart was far too long for me, love."

When you both returned to Olympus, you were met with a woman. As you looked at her in the arms of Zeus, you didn’t have to ask to know the Queen of Olympus was waiting for her husband and you.

She smiled at you.

“Welcome back, darling.”

Hope you guys liked this! Thanks for being so patient!💞💞

#yandere zeus #yandere greek gods #yandere greek mythology #yandere gods #yandere goddess #yandere hades #yandere persephone

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