youdontknowwheretogofromhere

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Thursday, October 17, 2024 9:08 pm

hey guys

so i know I’m like never on here to tell you good things but i actually had a good day today

omg i completely

i forgot i was writing this

sorry, anyways. i went to the state fair today and it was good. we walked around for a few hours, went into the petting zoo. i got to pet a 4 horned sheep btw

soo cool!!! anyways thhere were so many animals, they had like zebras and bulls and cows and goats and emus and pigs and kangaroos and other stuff. and it made me feel a little sad when i thought about it cuz like all the enclosures look the same, just a gate and sand on the floor, and most of the animals were just standing still so they probably hated it there.

so they we left and we got the italian ice cream. i got the cotton candy flavoer and there was custard ice cream thing for 2 bucks extra and i got that too. it was so good. then we split up so my nephews could go on the rides and i just hung out with my brother. he couldn’t go on any ride cuz of his surgery and i didn’t go cuz i was trying to save up my money. so then we looked around the rides for a bit, and left. then i got a korean corndog

it was one with like a bunch of crushed up hot cheetos on top. it was pretty good and i got to do a cool cheese pull thing but it was really greasy so. then we met back up with my sister and my nephews and we got my mom a funnel cake and i got a turkey leg. it’s soo good. i didn’t finish cuz it was huge but it might last me like 3 days.

so my day was pretty good

i was getting a little annoyed by the end(when i got home) and my bf had kinda been pissing me off all day but i love him and he loves me so I’m good

he’s great, you’re great. i know i absolutely do not say it enough but, i love you. with all my heart, i love you. so much do i love you. hug yourself for me. you love you too.

my heart swells with nothing but love

9:36 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Monday, October 14, 2024 6:42 pm

hey, how are you doing? hope you’re alright. i feel like complaining. can i complain?

so like, i know i talk about my boyfriend a lot. but like i feel weird. so super weird. so like i like him a lot. like he makes me happy and feel nice and shit. and this is a little bit personal and i don’t even really want to talk about it but why not right?

so like I’m really insecure, right? and i’ve been working on it, i promise. like my chest would be tight for like 3 days and 3 nights and i’d freak out about it and stuff. now I’m just like “yeah i guess i’ve ruined everything and it’s all my fault and this is why i can never have anything good but i can’t be bothered. how much can i really care?” so like it’s okay i guess. anyways my point is my bf is like horny all the time i guess. and I’m not, like at all. well i guess in like a general way cuz I’m horny in a i think about porn way but don’t really want to talk about it and whatever. but he’s always flirting like “i wanna fuck the shit out of you and make you scream” and like, how am i supposed to respond to that. and i was talking to his this afternoon, like round 3 pm (4 for him) and i was telling him about my day and then he was like “loser😘” and i said “don’t bully me” in like a playful way and then he said “I’m not,

oh my god

my response didn’t send 😭😭😭😭 holy shit he probably thought i was ignoring him

i need to kill myself

okay back to what i was saying. he said “i just wanna rail you until you scream my name” and i was like, hm. okay, sure. but now that I’m realizing my message didn’t send my whole thing doesn’t really make any sense. i feel really embarrassed

my response was really cringe. it was “i would like that, yes.. (￣︿￣)” which i thought was cringe enough to be kinda cutely awkward. then i was freaking out cuz he didn’t respond(kinda freaking but in my new, i guess it’s fine if i messed it up who cares, way) but like now that i know the message didn’t send i feel really bad

fuck bro

okay I’m resending now ^_^

done. phone on dnd. not checking notifications. we in good

my issue what I’m really weird and awkward and don’t know how to respond to sexual texts and shit. wow i can’t believe it didn’t send bro. i might have fumbled

noooo jk but like I’m a bit nervous

okay actually i gave in and checked notifs but NO MORE!!!!

sorry anyways, I’m really lame and idk how to respond to that shit and also sexual messages don’t do much for me. idk, i like voice stuff more(may be more to this but i won’t tell) i mean i listened to bf asmr for like 7 years now or so, so like maybe that’s its. but I’m also not really horny or if i am i don’t really have a physical reaction it’s more of a mental thing + idk how to masturbate so i just watch/listen to porn and thug it out and the more i type the more i realize i should have just used notes app

anyways i want to talk about personal things with you. i want to share my life with you because i know you listen. i

oh, i still have to talk about the i love you thing. well i haven’t thought about it much so sorry for lying but it just hasn’t felt like that big of a deal. i was thinking like 3-5 days ago, “i need to stop saying I’m in love with this guy, it’s so too early” and i even looked up a couple days before he said it when do people usually say i love you. but then he said it like it was the most natural thing in the world and i was like oh wow. that’s nice. it’s cool

anyhow. i don’t think i have much more to say. i love you a lot. no matter how horrible you are i love you. no matter how dirty you are i love you. no matter how shameful you may feel, i love you. with all my heart, with everything i have in me, i love you.

7:24 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Saturday, October 12. 8:19 pm

i haven’t responded yet but why did this guy just say “i love you my love”

and the funny thing is like 2 minutes after he sent that my nose started bleeding

also this is really personal and i haven’t responded yet but he wants to “j*rk off with me” on the phone or something rn but like I’m not horny at all and i also don’t feel like doing it but i feel bad saying no

I’m gonna stand up for myself and say no though so hold on

offered some things i won’t be telling you(I’m too ashamed but you can guess) so i guess we’ll see how he responds

also now I’m freaking out(i feel calm but my body doesn’t?) because did he just say he loves me cuz he’s horny or like cuz he meant it or cuz i just mean a lot to him and he was saying it in like the “we’re good buddies i love you man” way

oh he responded

i have my phone on dnd so i don’t have to read immediately. I’m to nervous to look. i’ll tell you what it said

omg my heart, he said “awh it’s okay, i love you, i would love ** *** **”

not finishing quote because it alludes to too many things that i dont want it to. also i feel like i shouldn’t feel that relieved cuz it wasn’t even that romantic but whatever. I’m the worst,

anyways my brother is out of the hospital and I’m gonna to the state fair + i have a week long break from school so if too many things don’t happen we’ll be okay.

i think this might be my worst most shameful entry so I’m really sorry. i’ll explain my feelings more tomorrow i think. cuz i feel a certain way about things but i have to do something so ill talk later and process it

bye i love you so much. even when you do bad things, even when you make bad choices, i love you still. all my love is given to you.

8:32 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Sunday, October 6, 2024 12:46 pm

my bf texted me every things okay now

i started dancing with delight when i saw that message

okay i love you bye

12:46 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Sunday, october 6, 2024 10:10 am

i think I’m like having the worst time ever

and I’m so lonely and i want to kill myself and i wish i was never born and i want to cry all the time and i just cried last night for the first time in months and i don’t know what to do

i just miss everything and everyone and I’m so horrible and stupid and what do i even do

i just want to go home. i don’t even have one but i just want to be somewhere warm and loud and soft so i can just sleep and never think again

death is so scary and bleak but i can’t imagine a better alternative to the life I’m living. and i know I’m being over dramatic and maybe everything is fine and I’m just being irrational but it feels like my whole world is crumbling and i don’t know what to do

i just want to be happy. i’ve been trying. i promise ive been trying so hard. i laugh every day. i don’t take things too personally. i try to be nice to everyone i meet. i try to talk to people more and have conversations more. and i felt like i was better, like i actually changed, like something was different. but i always comes back to this. like this is my default state. no matter how much progress i make, if i try or don’t, i end up like this. sad and alone and crying in a bed that’s not even comfortable

I’m crying right now. what do i do? why is it so hard to just be happy? why do i have to live in my own body and live my own life?

i think I’m grieving. myself i guess. I’m grieving all of the other possibilities, everything else i could have been. now I’m just a useless ugly idiot who’s going to do nothing with his life and kill himself when he’s older so nothing he does matters anyways

this is really the worst. i don’t remember if it’s ever been worse.

someone just knocked on my door. i think that pulled me out of my mood. I’m sorry I’m really bad at articulating myself. i just wish things were a little bit easier.

i love you. i hope you love me too. you do love me. that’s what i want to believe. i have so much love in my heart and all of it, every single drop, is for you.

10:22 am

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

saturday, october 5, 2024 11:01 pm

i have a headache and i want to complain so

I’m in a really bad mood kinda and i have this shitty headache and my brothers in the hospital and i can’t listen to music without getting upset but I’m uncomfortable cuz i really want to listen to something

so i live with my sister and her kids right? and she in the middle of getting a divorce but like they still live together. so like they fight all the time and niggas(i don’t usually use this online but i’m mad as fuck so who cares anyways[did i ever say i was black?]) always end up getting involved and her fuck ass stupid babydaddy is yelling at me and doing all this bs. i need that guy to die. this nigga got drunk last night and cuz my sister didn’t want to endanger her kids she called the police, tell me why he woke up the next morning and didn’t even remember it happened? seriously fuck this guy, i HATE him HATE HATE HATE. this nigga makes me feel like am from i have no mouth and i must scream cuz it’s just pure hate. and then this guy is saying we have to move out in two weeks even though last week he said the end of the year when he knows we don’t have any money and my brother is literally in the fucking hospital

fuck anyway. i was gonna make a post the day he had to go but i didn’t feel like writing anything but now i can’t sleep and I’m trying to draw and I’m pissed off with a headache so. we was feeling really sick for like a week or since like monday or saturday right? and he like couldn’t stand or move or get up and so thursday my mom was like, “okay we need to get you to the hospital because this isn’t what colds are like”. so he goes to the hospital and they diagnose him with chronic appendicitis and he has to get emergency surgery. he’s been in the hospital ever since and i just visited him today and stayed for 6 hours or something like that. it was from like 11 to 5 pm. he’s not reallly getting better. the surgery went well and all but he hasn’t been able to eat and anytime he eats he throws up so they keep extending his stay like every day. i know he’s gonna be okay i just feel really bad for him cuz like he’s in a lot of pain

okay next thing. so i struggle with like feeling like no one cares about me or anything i do and i feel really lonely all the time right? and so every time someone doesn’t respond to me or they stop messaging or talking to me for a few hours/days or they start talking to me less, i feel like they hate me and they’re trying not to be mean and hoping i take the hint and just fuck off and leave them alone. and of course, because i’ve been working on myself for the past couple of months, i’ve been working on this too and i’ve gotten better and tried not to jump to conclusion. but, i have this issue with my bf(idefk anymore bro T-T) so like he’s just got a job(YAY!! i was so happy for him when he told me) so maybe that’s what he’s busy with but like remember when i said he doesn’t message me unless i message him first? now even when i message him he won’t reply for hours or he will then i’ll respond then he’ll stop talking . and he’s probably genuinely busy or something i just wish he’d tell me but i don’t want to bring it up because i don’t want to seem like some clingy annoying idiot and i don’t like bothering people so idk what to do. and like i really like this guy, i think about him all the time and it’s so fucking lame but i enjoy thinking about him and we don’t talk as much and we haven’t called in weeks and i should just kill myself. sorry that isn’t funny. anyways, i’ve been trying not to take it too hard and telling myself that he still likes me and he wasn’t using me for anything and that he’s just busy, but i think I’m like super paranoid or something and I’m still super freaked about it.

i just realized these are three really long paragraphs about shit no one cares about. sometimes i really want to kill myself. and i don’t think anyone would be too upset. they’d come to my funeral, they’d eat, then they’d forget my name until the eulogy and i would just be gone. i wish any cared or pretend to.

sorry. I’m being really dramatic. i just feel horrible today. thank you for reading this. i love you a lot. I’m glad you care, even a little, just enough to sit through my stupid ramblings. i hope you’re laughing or maybe crying or feeling pity or anything at all. i hope my words cause a reaction in you. i hope i do anything at all. i love you. it’s true, pure love. so much love inside of my heart and if you care at all i will give it all to you. i love you.

11:28 pm

i keep mourning myself

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Wednesday, October 2, 2024 7:24 pm

my first ever double blog day !!!!!

so nothing happened. i messaged him like normal and he responded like normal and had a normal little conversation and it was fine. i freaked out over nothing again.

woooooo!!!! anyways I’m not mad at myself. I’m doing this thing where i don’t let myself regret mistakes anymore and use them as a learning experience i guess so. am i stupid? yes. is that okay? also yes. will i do this again? yes as well

nothing has really changed too much so i don’t have to update much but who cares. i’ve been trying to be more open lately and it’s actually good for me i’ve noticed. talking to people and ignoring that pit in my stomach has actual made life more enjoyable. no matter how much talking to people hurts, I’m gonna keep doing it. like exposure therapy. the problem is I’m really bad at social interaction and don’t know how to talk to people so i’m really awkward but it’ll be okay

I’m done here i think. i love you and hope you have an amazing day. thank you for reading. i wish you nothing but the best

tl;dr nothing happened, his sense of humor just sounds means and I’m really sensitive or whatever(not a bad thing)

7:32 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Wednesday, October 2, 2024 5:04 pm

soo I’m feeling really badly about myself today and i haven’t talked to my bf(we aren’t dating i guess but i don’t want to make up a new name thing for him) since he said he didn’t want to talk and so I’m super anxious but also

this will sound so special but bear with me. with the episode thing, I’m actually a little upset about it now because it was funny at first but, at risk of sound like a loser, episode has actually done a lot for me. not be be over dramatic but episode kind of saved my life. i struggle i guess with suicidal thoughts a lot, like ever since i was eight or nine and it’s also been really hard for me to feel like my life or living at all was worth it. and like playing episode and reading all the stories showed me that there are so many things i could do with my life and so many different people i could be and it made me realize that if i killed myself, i would never be able to do any of that stuff. i already get fomo from not being able to be a million different people at once but now i feel like it’s just a waste to kill myself without seeing how my life is gonna go.

idk i know that’s stupid cuz like if you go rn and open episode i’ll look like a fucking idiot but it’s genuinely how i feel

i don’t mind that he doesn’t like it or thinks it’s weird. man, i think it’s weird. but like episode means a lot to me and I’m also a really sensitive pussy who can’t handle people that i like being mean to me even if they’re joking. it’s cuz i can’t really tell when people are joking. that why i cuz jokes short and can’t really do riffing and stuff cuz i don’t ever want to be misconstrued or hurt anyone’s feeling on accident and that’s why i act too awkwardly and i should just kill myself

sorry i shouldn’t say stuff like that. okay anyways. I’m also upset because remember how i said i haven’t message my boyfriend? so i message him like everyday cuz i assume that’s what your supposed to do in a relationship or whatever. but my problem is that if i don’t message him he won’t message me(same guy who said we weren’t together cuz we don’t talk enough. THEN TALK TO ME!!!!!) but since I’m too much of a fucking idiot to understand if he was kidding about the “please stop talking to me” thing, i really don’t want to message him. i will because i know i’m probably just being irrational and overreacting and ive been trying to get over my social anxiety anyway but I’m still freaking out

i just feel so fucking dumb. i’ll update if everything is fine btw but i think I’m gonna message him after i upload this. i just hate how stupid and anxious he makes me feel. is this what romance is supposed to be like?

and then I’m probably gonna move too and my mom is trying to make me make the decision of where we go even though I’m fucking 16 and want to end my own like and omg why does everything suck.

okay i’m. gonna suck it up and message him wish me luck. i love you so much. you are amazing. thank you for reading this. you make me feel a little less heavy <3333

5:24 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Tuesday, October 1, 2024 7:17 pm

the face when you find out you aren’t dating your boyfriend

i don’t have a picture

anyways i thought of that two days ago cuz that’s when i kinda found out but anyways

the real reason I’m here is cuz i think it’s over

like actually

cuz i told him i liked episode 😭😭😭 brooo I’m losing my mind

if i actually fumbled over episode i might kill myself

sent him this ss

actually i won’t include it but it was funny and i spent like 10 minutes trying to jokingly convince him it was good then he ended the conversation by calling me weird and telling me to please stop talking to him

and he’s probably joking and messing around but I’m an overthinking and he stopped responding after i said “okay (╥_╥)” so maybe it’s over???? and i probably sound crazy to normal people or something but like I’m laughing and freaking out, y’know?

like this is actually making me super anxious and i know I’m probably being dumb but like at the forefront of my mind is the idea that he was actually freaked out even though i was joking and i just ruined it all over episode 😭😭

I’m laughing but I’m not, like brooooo cutting contact with someone cuz they play episode is crazy. like imagine getting broken up with cuz you liked demi lavatos path to fame😭😭

part of me is kind of okay with it ending like this cuz it’s really funny but also i like this guy so it would suck

and i actually probably am overreacting because i thought he was mad at me and freaked out about it for like 2 days and he didn’t even care and we never spoke about it again

… wow. typing that out actually

that’s insane. what’s even wrong with me man. i just want to be normal and have normal reactions like normal people do but instead i just freak out and think about killing myself for a week instead of just asking him about it 😭😭

i should end my life broooo

anyways i fell asleep on the bus today and almost missed my stop and i was supposed to call my “bf”(i need to kill myself) today because he’s starting his new job tomorrow and he wanted to talk before he”gets too busy” but I’m tired and anxious and kind of want a nap

also thinking about eating a muffin before bed. maybe. i

god I’m so fucking anxious😭😭 i’ve never been close to being in a relationship or felt like this about a person before so it’s really messing me up and if he stops talking to me i might actually kill myself

okay i don’t have too much to complain about. jjk ended recently and it made me a little sad i guess

i love yuji sooo much. also i think i’ve been too suicidal on the post so. sorry about that. I’m only like this when I’m sad or anxious

you’d be scared to look at my notes app lol

okay i guess i see you some other day. i love you. thank you for reading and being so good to me. have a lovelie beautiful day

7:37 pm

I’m dewey btw

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Wednesday, September 25, 2024 9:24 pm

so I’m actually in a pretty good mood today. i miss my boyfriend and my sister and i miss talking to people on the phone

i miss people being nice to me for no other reason they because they want to

I’m about to eat some chilli but there are people(my nephew) in the kitchen. i am a stupid ugly fat piece of shit so i hate eating while someone else is there. it doesn’t help with all that big back bullshit jokes they have been getting popular. like yes man, I’m fucking insecure. everyone is. don’t be a dick. and like i try to ignore it but it still gets to me sometimes..

whatever though. the chili is sweet so I’m gonna add some salt and cheese and eat it with a corn dog or something

genuinely forgot i was writing this it’s 10:01 pm

my fault. i don’t have anything else to say anyways

bye i love you. love you so so much

10:03 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Tuesday, September 14, 2024 9:58

so, hi guys

i wasn’t gonna write anything today but i started thinking about my bf and got pissed off

on the toilet rn

so, I’m sorry i guess, i misremembered the conversation that upset me. but it pissed me off just thinking about it so i looked up the actual convo and this is what was said verbatim

(context: he told me he liked to romantically while we were flirting or something)

him: nooo i literally have romantic feelings for you so much

me: yesss i super super like you romantically

him: but like i really do, i wanna be with you

me: i thought we were already together (◎_◎;)

him: well not officially are we? i feel like if we were official we'd text more

you know now that i read this i feel a little dumb. I’m still mad tho cuz then when does it become official???? idk this is my first relationship and i thought “taking it slow” was code for a casual relationship but maybe I’m just a fucking idiot

anyways I’m. not mad at him cuz he just sent me a really sweet message today so :)))))

also i had to go to school today and almost passed out in first period. i had the worst fucking nosebleed of my life when my mom drove me to school it was awful. i had the pull out this blood clot that was like as long as my finger out of my nose and it kept breaking so i couldn’t breath. then my nose stopped bleeding but because I’m sick, i still had to blow my nose and when i did a giant thumb-sized clot landed on my grey shirt and it left a stain all day

it sucked. anyways, i’ve been sad the last couple of days because no one is picking up my calls

i only call 4 people, my mom, my sister, my brother, and my boyfriend. my brother never picks up anyway so idc about that. but i call my sister all the time and i feel like she only ever talks to me to complain about her problems but never listens when i talk and it makes me sad sometimes. and i told her about it and she was like “oh, okay.” then like stopped responding when i was talking and it felt like she was mad and we haven’t spoken since even though i text her every day. and my bf skipped our weekly call( its weekly cuz im tired after school so we call on the weekend) I’m not mad at though cuz he just told me he has some things going on in his life(didn’t specify) and he was like “ we’ll definitely call this week or next week, i’ll never forget you, i promise. “ and my heart was so warm. idk but it was very romantic to me

okay i have nothing else to complain about

maybe i’ll talk about good things. maybe if i feel happier. i’ve kind of been in a kind of miserable rut but like i don’t really give a shit. like I’m sad but it’s all in the background so i can laugh all the time and shit but be really

omg i got out of the bathroom and forgot i was writing this for like 20 minutes. i started eating a cooking. it’s now that good cuz it’s like bittersweet chocolate instead of just milk but

anyways, i love you. i will always love you. i hope you love me too

(ive played the game like 8 times and have never been to boom town lol”

10:35 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Monday, September 23, 2024 8:42 pm

so

i didn’t go to school today :P i’ve been sick since friday and it’s gotten a little better i guess. i was sooo sick friday i literally couldn’t stand up, i was so hot and sweaty it was gen disgusting

anyways, I’m still sick and i’ve been having loads of nosebleeds so that sucks, thats actually why i didn’t want to go to school cuz i was scared of my nose bleeding in the middle of class and most of my teachers don’t have tissues so id just be kinda fucked

sorry for swearing, I’m just a little runt you know? i also have homework due tomorrow that i’ve had since like thursday to do and i haven’t done it soo

as you know per my last post, I’m 16(i don’t remember if i said that lol) and I’m such a fucking loser i know but i’ve got a boyfriend(?) for the first time(ill explain later) but i’ve met him on discord cuz i was super desperate and whatever

and i’ve met him

changing the song I’m listening to hold on

i’ve met him about a little more than a month ago(i’ve been trying to make more bad decisions lately) actually i want to expound up l

sorry my nose started bleeding a little bit

i want to expound upon that more. i felt like i’ve been too responsible my whole life, like internet safety meant the world to me and shit. but then i was like, am i missing out? not that i want bad shit to happen to me, but i feel like everyone has does stupid internet shit once in their life so like i want it too?? and i feel a little more stupid because like my actions lack authenticity so it’s so much lamer. like if i was some 16 year old kid that’s just so desperate for a relationship they date some internet because they haven’t thought about the repercussions then it’s like a thing to look back on and ittle be like “ohh i was such a dumb kid hahah” but since i know what I’m doing i just look like a dumb fuck.

it’s not even that i don’t like the guy, he’s really nice to me and he acts like he really likes me. idk if he’s lying to get something out of me but I’m just gonna pretend it’s real for now and hope it goes well for me

that sounds really sad lol. i just mean like he’s the only person ever in my life that has acted attracted to me and everything so like ther

changed the song again

there’s something there that’s keeping me instead of just letting me realize this is a really bad idea and i shouldn’t just block him or something. he’s got something up with him and maybe i’ll complain about it another day but

OMG ALSO like 20 minutes ago i asked him if he wanted to call and he didn’t answer cuz ig he’s too busy playing dark souls 1 or something. which only pisses me off cuz it took a lot out of me to even ask. i have social anxiety(idk what it is actually) but like i feel like genuine pain when i have to speak to people and reaching out to him almost made my heart explode, which it does all the time. and ive been trying to make an effort to be braver and talk to people more but its so hard. its been working tho, I’m actually able to start and somewhat hold a conversation now. actually the only reason we r even talking rn is cuz i was trying to get better at social interaction. like the third time he dmed me, i considered not responding and just ghosting him but i was like, “NO. YOU NEED TO COMMIT TO THIS.” so i did and now we are like dating(?)

to explain the question marks, and i still haven’t gotten over this. he asked me one day if we were together or something along those lines then i was like “i though we were already together” and he’s all like “well if we were together i think we would text more”

and omg it pissed me off to no end. THE GUY WHO CANT TEXT ME FIRST SAYS WE NEED TO TALK MORE. ARE TOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? like dude so we aren’t dating in ur book unless we talk more(and this is after he said we were taking things slow, which i[how do i do italics] thought was code for casual dating) and then won’t fucking talk to me unless i say something

and I’m only complaining cuz he’s older than me(he’s 18) and has also been in a relationship before( also told me one time that i was acting like his ex and i almost shot and killed myself) like dude, i already told you about my anxiety and shit

whatever anyways it’s been like 30 minutes and he still hasn’t said anything. who cares. i didn’t. even want to call him anyways

what really sucks is i really like him and think about him all the time and idk and i haven’t called him in like a week T-T

I’m so fucking lame god

okay i don’t think i have any more things to complain about so i hope you all have a good day/night/morning! i love you. i really do love you. you took the time to read my stupid ramblings and i really love you. god i want to cry but i can’t even cry anymore

should i start numbering these?

9:15 pm

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Sunday, September 22, 2024 4:43 pm

I dont really understand formatting and stuff like that but i decided i wanted to do this about 20 minutes ago so I’m doing it.

I want my blog to look really pretty but i don’t understand tumblr so that’s something

i really like talking and complaining and halfway through typing that sentence i realized i never like introduced myself

i want to go by w because it’s a really long letter to say. i meant to type inconvient but i also just decided i won’t delete or rewrite anything so you really get to experience my thoughts as i have them

so w because it’s concise and simple but stupid to say out loud. i don’t really want to use anything related to myself because it’s not like anyone in my irl uses tumblr but i just don’t want to be found and whatever

idk if i’ll do multiple a day but maybe

or i’ll forget about this for months idk

i’ve gotten really into making video diaries so

idk

i’m super sick and i have school to

my mom called me as i was typing that

I’m super sick and i have school tomorrow but ii have to go anyway even though i sound terrible and I’m dying because my school does this stupid thing where if you miss a day you have to come in the next day and stay after school to make up for it

I’m gonna complain more tomorrow but i don’t feel like typing anymore

bye

4:59 pm