#i couldnt do them anymore
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oh
#i beat disco elysium! it was ohhh it was very good#i think i did something wrong when i made my character because i just kept failing white checks until#i couldnt do them anymore#so i did not accomplish very many side quests#and i missed the meeting with the communists because i was too busy being shot at#and somehow i missed the opportunity to do drugs at all. i did not do them because i wasnt really aware of them being around <- stupid#but kim liked me.....and the beloved creature on the island said kind things to me....#birdenest
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Does Chloe still exist in ur au?
She does! I've kept core parts of her personality, but retconned massive chunks of her history with Timmy.
Chloe never got fairies, and never shared them with Timmy. But she was his neighbor! They used to play a lot as children, but one day, Chloe wasn't allowed back at the Turner's house.
As a grownup, Chloe's a social worker! She's usually the Go-To person selected by the state to handle difficult public cases involving children. As in: cases involving celebrities, important figures, or the such where the child's identity is at risk to the public. She's an expert at keeping their life secret and away from social media.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop chloe carmichael#fop cloe#cloe carmichael#asks#itty bitties fop au#HI HI HI CHLOE#i stopped watching FOP JUST before they introduced Sparky bcs i couldnt handle it anymore#so im. like. retconning practically everything Sparky Onwards as Not Canon#but i'll also do my research and revise/reuse those parts if i get asks about them!!!#goldie chloe and sparky were originally never meant to be brought up!!! but someone sent in asks for them so now they're repurposed!!!!!#because i am a Yes And first and a No But second#anyways chloe still has the drive to do goodness in the world and to help others#she bounced around a bunch of different jobs that involves helping people until she landed on social services!!!
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last year in my sketchbook: can representational art be more sustainable for me if i take it less seriously? can i balance the two? | my art
#(can i imbue some of my passions into the academic side of art? will that help to bring me balance?)#the stuff i make now is a direct result of this stuff although it looks nowhere near this stuff. i think that was the question i didnt know#that i was asking myself as i was doing this whole series.#i love these dearly but they felt somehow impersonal. very important for me realizing i dont super prefer creating this kind of stuff#i think i was creating with an audience in mind and i dont like doing that anymore#got really into how each spread made shadows onto the next. how visible it all was and how i couldnt hide between them#really loved the confrontation of using ink at this time#traditional art#sketchbook tour#mine#ok to rb#my art#please dont repost without credit pleeease :p#artists on tumblr#art
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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[5/19/2024]
#sonadow#shadonic#shasoni#sth fanart#sonic fanart#sth#blue#edgy hedgy#hydro.art#hydro.gifs#started the sketch for this one earlier this week. shad's shoes gave me so much grief I eventually just modeled them in blender#I was actually excited to animate this one until I made the grave mistake of lining shadow with the paint brush tool instead of the brush.#agonyizing. spent so much time cleaning up all the lines bc they were no longer neatly separated by fills anymore#eventually gave up and just drew over the bits I couldnt correct on new layers. never doing that again#why isnt Animate more animator-friendly!!#also wanted to try out ntscQT on this one and I like how it turned out :]
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not done talking ab fhjy actually so i'll just say some of you guys who go on about how you could've done better themes and narrative arcs can't even think critically about the one in front of you.
i do wish that the other bad kids had interacted with their foils more this season because it was fun seeing them trade insults, but i also dont think it would've done much for them. i mean, people forget the tbks did try to turn reuben early on (they literally saved him from grix even though it was his fault he showed up trying to kill people). adaine thought oisin was cool and tbks were onboard with thinking maybe he wasn't that bad, and then he sent his grandma to murder them and their entire school. fabian tried to get an 'in' with ivy and it nearly cost him a genuine relationship with a character who had a way better chance of helping them figure things out without the risk of being betrayed. kipperlilly had an ego-driven hateboner for riz since BEFORE the rage stars and killed her own party member in cold blood just to stick it to kristen, and you're telling me that she could've been my little ponyied into giving up her chance to squash the symbol of all her inadequacy? buddy and maryann are the only rat grinders who havent fucked them over meaningfully and guess what? they're not thrilled about having to kill them- they're actively avoiding targeting them! almost like theyre capable of distinguishing between someone not on their side and someone who's proved to be a threat!
brennan made it pretty clear that trying to befriend trgs in their rage forms was futile and actively punished it ingame. you can have your opinions of that, but it definitely had a narrative point: if you get rage starred, you cant be 'this isnt youuuu'd out of it. you think ONLY of rage, and rage can't be reasoned with. it's arguably worse than death, bc at least someone can revivify you and there's no lasting consequences. think about how hard brennan was trying to push the ihs into taking rage tokens. he knew exactly how dire he'd made the consequences and that was on purpose. the season has no stakes if you can just talk your way out of being rage starred bc tbks could save each other easily. the whole climax literally can't happen if trgs arent being evil bc porter can't be a living god of rage without followers. tbks hating trgs isnt a flaw in the story: it IS the story.
#i feel like some ppl ocified trgs so much theyre not even talking about the same characters anymore#'would lucy want this' idk man considering she died rather than become like them i imagine she agrees that the ragepocalypse is Bad#anyway i have my doubts that trgs will stay dead anyway which im glad ab but yeah. they deserve to have their asses handed to them#thats always been tbk way. kill the bad guys save the day then double back for the redemption once they aren't a danger anymore#did anyone expect adaine to kiss and make up with aelwyn BEFORE she was beaten into a state where she literally couldnt harm them anymore?#of course not. aelwyn wouldve run circles around them if they'd tried. they waited until she wasn't an active threat#and *then* tbks extended an olive branch. which was the objectively smart thing to do. and that was for adaine's SISTER#give me literally one reason why. at this point in the story. tbks would have any reason to believe trgs can be reasoned with?#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#dimension 20#the bad kids
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Escape from Flower Fruit Mountain
"What can you do? You were all trapped. Either you all die in Peng’s hands or the celestial flames burn you all alive. You never should’ve sent your brothers inside. There’s no exit, no - wait.
There was a way out. The transportation circle in your room you never quite got to erasing."
Chapter 15 of "Queen of the Mountain" by @centuryberry
#screaming from the void#my art#queen of the mountain#lego monkie kid#i hope you appreciate me giving xiaotian sokka's pose and boomerang lmao#and that i gave red son horns :)#i had a lot of fun designing yue's fancy queen outfit in case you couldnt tell :) also! return of the little crown i gave her a while back#(except EVEN FANCIER)#if youre wondering where the thrall is; he's doing the family guy death pose in the center of the circle XD#(i initially forgot about him while drawing this and couldnt easily fit him in anymore so...yeah lol)#louhou and jidu are so so tiny i love them <3#i draw rinrin's hair/fur as especially curly so i gave that to jidu :) meanwhile louhou's fur looks closer to the others in style
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💛🌻✨ yellow ✨🌻💛
🌠
#sentai#king ohger#go onger#kakuranger#magiranger#gekiranger#yeah thats enough i dont wanna tag anymore instead let me yell at you about NANGOU#wait where are you going come ba#partner pointed out that it looks like jun is about to shoot gaku in the ass and mika is filming it#and after that i did not have the heart to move them apart#this is a longboard jou truther blog you cant tell me that boy rides a regular skateboard i wont listen to you#also - couldnt help it had to draw kitty kat leo but now i'm living in hell because do i draw shark sela or#'im gonna draw some blues' - does the literal opposite#having a list of names and colours to tick off sure is helpful for beating art block#uuuuuuuuuuh yellow top teir colour never disliked a yellow please enjoy the yellows#only BAD seasons dont have a yellow *i am covering changeman with a big blanket*#2024 art tag
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redesigning these guys because i missed them
#jor hates shopping so they put off buying new clothes till the last minute. so literally nothing they have fits anymore. SAD#i decided to not bother making a ref for them skinny because i never draw that. you can figure it out im sure. in my mind this is ~5 months#into Doing It and about 8 months since they met. these guys are not very good at moving slow which is probably a bad thing but hey!#it worked out for them i suppose. dont move in with a guy after only knowing him for a week#also nobody asked but i like doing animal hybrids so in my mind mixed species things are very common but you tend to just mostly take after#one parent or the other.#🍔#also no naked version because i couldnt be bothered#🦕
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i get so disappointed thinking about how close ff was to having another revolutionary female character with jill but they just had to fuck it up by taking away damn near all her plot relevance and screentime once her revenge arc finished 😭
#they benched one of the coolest characters and for what!!!#major spoilers in the tags for anyone who hasnt finished the game but#jill's arc about her killing her abuser was fantastic but the moment she kissed clive its like the devs stopped caring about her#excluding her from the final fight when she'd been right by clive's side since almost the beginning is so lame like actually#and excusing it by saying that she couldnt call on shiva anymore when dion was clearly still able to do summon bahamut was just. urgh. why#just bc doing so wouldve been dangerous and likely led to her death? as if clive and joshua werent obviously going on a suicide mission anw#i wouldve preferred for her to be present and dying with clive side by side on that beach as opposed to leaving her out of it completely#wildest part is she wouldve preferred that too but its like her agency just diminished after her arc#omg and it wouldve tied in so perfectly together with the whole thing about them watching the moon together uuurgghghghfggfhfgh#i cant believe the devs missed that opportunity just to leave her out of it like that#nothing is more annoying than a female character with potential getting the short end of the stick out of nowhere#final fantasy xvi#jill warrick#ff16 spoilers#ive been too spoiled with xiii ive got standards now
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i’m bout to quit my job 😂😂😂😂😂😂
#like tell me why my manager texted me to come in -_-#didnt even give me an hour notice just asked me to come rn#like ?????#bitch u rlly thought#i even told them that i couldnt come this weekend cs i’ll be busy#but do they ever listen ???#no absolutely tf not 🙃#im so over this shit#they literally work me like a dog and expect me to do everytjhinf#it pisses me off#i js wanna die#like i can’t this anymore#i’d rather kms than deal w this toxic ass shit#i need money but like is it even worth it bruh#plus im too lazy to find a new one#sooo….#idek what to do anymore :/
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art from a year ago cause i came across these when browsing my files and i dont think ive posted them before, i really like them!
#my art#dynasty warriors#gan ning#posting this thinking about nei-ning :] the no.1 gan ning fan hehe#i dont use the same brushes anymore as in the first but i would like to revisit them to get this sketchy style again#as for pencils - i rarely am this happy with traditional art; i believe this one was done in class which was somehow the only place#where i could get nice results; i dont get how lol#i miss drawing in pencils too but lately i couldnt get much right. its mostly the lack of ideas though? i remember doing that one inspired#by some dw9 photomode pics i think? helps with posing and all that#yes i remember that was from a screenshot. if it was from class then i must have had my phone out for reference lol#but the first oneee i love how i did his face there!! and everything. i wont top that
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errgh just hc never expecting anything from xl, nvr having a "oh no i put him on a pedestal he cant reach" and instead just wanting xl for things he has done, not things he will and how xl lost so much bc ppl put him on such a pedestal and how hc was the only one who listened when xl told him not to kneel and how the uniqueness in hc's view of xl isnt bc he sees him as untouchable when everyone saw him as touchable but because he saw him as touchable when everyone saw him as untouchable
#ergh just! just! them! they!#xl had to spend so much time earning everyones love constantly and eventually couldnt anymore and! and! he doesnt have to with hc cause hc#loves him for what hes done not what he will do!!!!#hc's devotion isnt based on seeing xl as above him but as seeing them as equals yet thinking xl has managed to do so much more with that!!!#ergh them#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#tgcf#mxtx tgcf#heaven official’s blessing#i have so many emotions abt these two
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All.this.merch makes me headcanon reigen and seri got múltiple weddings xD
#serirei#its just so many wedding art#i bet they saw 3 diferent outfits pairs and reigen and sei couldnt choose so they whent why not do all 3 xD#i think about them a lot#i just dont like to draw anymore xD#will probably do a comic thi
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Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.
I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.
Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?
How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"
And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.
So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.
So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.
And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.
-
And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.
Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.
And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.
So you sail away in a boat together.
And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.
But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.
But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.
You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.
And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-
-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.
You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.
-
And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.
It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.
And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.
#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this#ford pines#ford meta#this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic#godswriting#<- i need to change my writing tag to this#something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with-#-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved#obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to-#-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict#compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him#feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing#its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are#the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours#-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and#-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends'#like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person!#he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words#I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close#so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no#feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of-#-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them.#and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with#-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given#their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds-#-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost-#-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that-#-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would-#-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me#and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.
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i just realized.
kazuki put miri in a white shirt that was big on her when they couldnt find anything that fit her.
he put rei in the same thing after he bathed him.
#i couldnt find a different picture of rei in this scene so deal with the oversaturated gif#the shirt is so loose on rei you could even say it might be kazuki's#maybe kazuki just thinks that the most comfortable thing to wear is a nice clean shirt because he never got that luxury growing up#theyve infiltrated every part of my life idk what to do with myself anymore#the next episode is going to be them adopting a cat#real not fake im not coping because theres nothing to cope abt#theyre gay#buddy daddies#rei suwa#suwa rei#kurusu kazuki#kazuki kurusu#miri unasaka#unasaka miri
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