#i couldn't stop cackling and snorting while making this

[leavingkamino]

"Rampart Rag Doll" Item Condition: Slightly Damaged

[themultifanshipper]

Hello.

I have a question to ask. Are you up for a honeymoon fic Landoscar? With a lot of spicy things, hehe.

<3

When Oscar and Lando had woken up severely hungover that first morning after getting married at the Vegas GP, they knew they had made the right choice.

The only problem was how the hell they were going to go on their honeymoon without arousing suspicion.

Gonna go waterboard myself in holy water now brb

Warnings: Lando makes Oscar cry, but in a sexy way, sunburns, handjob, that’s it that's the plot, under negotiated everything, edging, Oscar being in denial, cum, facial, they're both fucking freaks

They got married on 20/11/2023 at 4:12 AM in the little Vegas Chapel after the Grand Prix. It was perfect (they barely remembered it) and the only people there were Alex and Logan (the best men) and the priest (who they had to track down later and make him sign an NDA).

All in all a brilliant night.

And the proof of consummation was… well, all over them and the sheets when they woke up.

How fucking romantic.

It was now a year on from that and they still hadn't been on their honeymoon.

They were determined though. But being in the public eye made any vacationing together quite hard.

So they decided to wait. Wait long enough that if they were seen, it would be reasonable to assume it was just a mates trip to a private Island.

They were currently on said private Island one morning, limbs tangled on a sunbed, sipping some pretty strong cocktails.

“What do you want to do today?”

“I don't care as long as I'm with you”

They giggled and a slap resounded on the empty beach.

“I hate you”

“That's not what you were saying last night when I had you-”

“Okay okay! I get it!”

Disgusting.

After another hour of lounging around, Lando untangled his limbs from Oscar's and got up to get more drinks.

“You want anoth- holy shit Osc!”

His eyes widened as he turned and took in his husband’s (he'd never get tired of saying that) appearance.

“What?” Oscar sat up, confused.

Oscar’s front was a similar shade of red as a lobster, the contrast in skin between his front and back making him look like a vanilla strawberry ice cream.

“Oscar you-” Lando couldn't contain his laughter “you forgot to put cream on again!”

Lando put his hand on Oscar's thigh and Oscar gasped in pain.

“Shit baby we need to go put something on that, let's go”

Oscar ended up laying on his back while Lando straddled his midsection and rubbed Aloe over his face and chest.

“Ah!” he hissed as a hand went over a patch of particularly red skin “careful where you put your bear paws!”

Lando laughed and squirted some more cream on his hands.

“Sorry baby, but it needs to be done. Besides you love my bear paws, especially when I put them on your-”

“Jesus, do you ever shut up!” Oscar laughed and Lando gasped at his meanness.

“Don't be mean to me when I'm helping you out!”

Oscar’s hands came up to cup Lando's ass over his shorts and squeeze lightly.

“You love it when I'm mean though, don't lie.”

“Oh yeah?” Lando smiled playfully “I can be mean too you know”

Oscar couldn't help the snort that escaped him. “Yeah right, I'll believe that when I see it, you’re just too sweet”

“I am not!” he tried to defend but Oscar just laughed at him “You just haven't seen my bad side, yet”

Oscar cackled and shot a look of disbelief at Lando.

Lando raised his eyebrows in challenge and shuffled backwards onto Oscar's thighs, making sure to rub against his crotch on the way.

“Shut up and let me finish putting the cream on” he scowled as he squirted a load straight onto Oscar's hot skin moodily.

“Aw… are you getting stroppy now because I laughed at you, baby?” Oscar cooed, hands reaching for Lando but he slapped them away.

“Touche me, or say another word, and I stop completely, understand?”

Oscar nodded, eyebrows almost fused with his hairline at Lando's harsh tone.

“And we'll see just how fucking mean I can be” the older man growled.

Well shit.

Lando quickly rubbed cream over Oscar's burns, before sitting back and ordering him to take his shorts off.

“Pardon?” Oscar wasn't used to being ordered around.

“If I have to repeat myself then I'll take them off, and I’m not going to be gentle”

That's a point, Oscar thought. He didn't want to take any chances with the burns so he peeled them off himself, making sure to give his skin a wide birth.

Once settled back into the sheets, Lando grabbed more cream and started rubbing it around Oscar's crotch, which was unnecessary given that the skin there was free of burns thanks to his shorts. But Lando apparently decided to turn this into a massage, because he was digging his thumbs into Oscar’s flesh, hard enough to make him groan at the feeling.

Then he dug his thumbs into Oscar's adductor muscles and the younger man yelped and stared daggers at him.

“What's the matter, baby?” Lando asked mockingly, “Am I going too hard for you?”

His eyes were inviting him to a challenge, one he knew Oscar wouldn't back down from.

Oscar shook his head, remembering Lando's warning from before, and quickly settled back down.

This was a new side to Lando. And it was getting Oscar a bit hot and bothered as his husband just carried on massaging/torturing him. The idea of being at his husband's mercy was turning him on enormously.

His dick twitched against his stomach and Lando chuckled.

“Careful Osc, one could think being submissive is turning you on” his voice was full of mirth but Oscar refused to acknowledge him, and stared at the ceiling while shaking his head.

“No? Must be mistaken then”

He continued along Oscar's groin, massaging the cream in and rubbing him in all the right places.

When Lando cupped his balls and pressed on his perineum at the same time, Oscar let out a strangled gasp.

He was dripping, he could feel it. But he refused to give Lando the satisfaction of asking him to touch him.

“You want me to stop Osc?” Lando had a teasing lilt to his voice. Oscar shook his head.

“If you want me to touch you all you have to do is be a good boy and say ‘please”

But Oscar, by some twisted sense of ego, refused to give in so he didn't answer.

Lando laughed softly and ran a finger up Oscar's cock, making the younger man shudder and his hips buck up of their own volition.

“That looks painful, Osc”

“Then fucking touch it”

Lando’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Not until you say please”

“Please” Oscar huffed out.

Lando tutted. “That wasn't very convincing, Osc.” His fingers ran along the tip and back down over his balls, but Oscar just about managed to stay impassive. He looked right into Lando's eyes.

“If you want me to say please you're going to have to do better than that”

Lando grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh honey, I'm not going to stop until you're begging”

The look in his eyes was predatory and Oscar almost caved then and there.

But on principal, Oscar did not beg.

Cut to about 30 minutes later and Oscar was whimpering into his arm as Lando placed kitten licks on his dripping tip.

“Still not desperate enough to say please?”

Oscar just growled “nope” but it was so strained Lando barely heard it.

“Fine, maybe I need to try a different approach, then”

Oscar looked on as Lando grabbed the cream and squirted some straight onto Oscar’s cock.

Oscar hissed at the cold, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Lando's large hand engulfing his cock and immediately starting a fast, tight, pace.

Oscar was writhing at the sudden intense pleasure after so long being teased, and he was having trouble getting air in his lungs as he hurdled towards an orgasm in record time.

His toes curled and his back arched as he felt the orgasm creep up his spine.

But just like that the feeling was replaced by a very tight hold around the base of his cock, the release his body craved ripped away from him.

“No! Lan-”

“Shhh, baby” Lando cooed “It's okay, I’ve got you”

While Oscar slowly came down from his almost-release, Lando reapplied some cream to make the slide as wet as possible, then proceeded to start stroking Oscar at the same pace as before, this time adding extra pressure.

Oscar was openly whining now, hands gripping the sheets so hard it’s shocking they weren't tearing.

“Now, I'm going to do that over and over again until you’re a good boy for me, okay”

Oscar couldn't contain the whine that came out of his mouth. He was getting close again and his eyes were filling up with tears at the white hot pleasure.

“Please” he let out a broken sob as his thighs started clenching with his impending orgasm.

“Oh you can do better than that, Osc” Lando’s pace didn't falter.

“Fuck- please Lan, I'll do anything. I need to come so bad, please, please. Please don't stop…” he was openly sobbing now, tears running down his cheeks as he took shuddering breaths.

He was so beautiful and pliant like this, Lando was unbelievably hard. He took pity on him and allowed him to come, other hand going to massage his balls for good measure.

“Good boy, Oscar. You can come now, go on.”

Oscar screamed as he came, hot spurts of his come landing over his abs and all the way up to his chin.

The sight of him, covered in his own cum, flush deepening the red of his burns, gasping for air, almost made Lando come on the spot.

He shuffled over to Oscar's head and pushed his shorts down to jerk himself off furiously.

“Open your mouth, tongue out” he ordered, grabbing Oscar’s jaw and aiming for his tongue.

It took him no time at all to come, and most of it landed on Oscar's cheeks and chin. It was absolutely sinful, the way his face was streaked with come, tongue hanging out, eyes unfocused, he looked like a sick man's dream.

Fortunately, Lando was a sick man.

“Shit Osc, I can't believe it took me this long to find out you’re a good little slut when you want to be”

Oscar took a long time to reply, trying to regulate his breathing.

When he finally did, a low growl came from his side of the bed.

“As soon as I get the feeling back in my legs, I'm going to fuck you until the sun sets, and I'm not giving you any breaks, no matter how many times you come”

Lando glanced at the clock.

It was only 1 pm…

Shit.

[romanoffsbish]

Welcome Home (Spank Town)

WandaNat x Fem!R

Request | Prompts

“I never knew you liked being spanked.” / “What the fuck? Do it again. I liked it.”

Smut: Semi-Public, Spanking, Oral (R -> N / W -> R), Fingering (W -> R), Overstim. Thigh-Riding (W).

18+ | Minors DNI

1,394 Words

It was a melancholy morning, as it had been for the past few weeks with your lovers away on differing missions. Wanda in Norway, and Natasha in Madrigal, and you unaware of why.

You were benched from missions for the time being, so you were stood in the kitchen making yourself a pan of scrambled eggs, a long drawn out yawn followed your spatula flip, and left you ill prepared for the hand that made swift, harsh contact with your thinly cloaked ass.

—

"What the fuck?" You shrieked, it oddly made you feel in the mood, but you didn't want to even acknowledge that knowing it was likely an idiot with a death wish who dared spank you.

Turning to face the perpetrator of such an assault you kept on your hardened features, but when you saw Natasha with her hands behind her back, and a coy smile, you let all the aimless anger fade, "Do that again. I liked it."

Natasha snorted out a, "Yeah?" as you ran into her arms, you nodded as best you could with your head pressed against her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Nat kissed your lips briefly before burrowing her face into your neck, she did this after every mission. Smelling you or Wanda made it feel real that she was home.

Today though she was feeling far more frisky, the mission wasn't rough like it usually is.

"I never knew you liked being spanked," Nat smirks against the side of your neck, "Wanda is going to love this information," she chuckled softly as you suddenly tensed up in her hold.

"Daddy no!" She smirked against your skin as she pressed a kiss to your temple, "Baby yes."

"What if I gave you head?"

Natasha cackled, "Bargaining now are we?"

You nodded meekly, already aware of your fate.

"Well, that's not how things work detka." Nat cupped your ass cheeks in her strong hands, she played with the rump while lowly talking, "You'll let daddy use your pretty little mouth, and then you'll thank mommy for every slap."

Wanda walked in just as Natasha began to suckle over your pulse point. She observed the moment for quite some time, enjoying seeing as you slowly became desperate for more.

Then she couldn't stop herself from slapping your ass just as Nat's hands raised to do so.

"Thank you mommy," you cried out, Natasha pulled away from marking your throat to see the smirking counterpart to your threesome.

"Look at you sweetheart," Natasha cheered, "How did you know it was mommy?"

"Her perfume," you breathed with a relaxed smile on your face. "Our smart girl," Wanda coo'd, and you instantly craned your neck to see her and so she rewarded you with a kiss.

"Also, she hits way harder than you do daddy."

Wanda laughed, her head thrown back as she watched Natasha frown. The redhead smacked your ass so hard the skin rippled, but her frown only deepened as you hardly even whimpered.

The brunette cocked a brow at the redhead, as if to say, watch this. Wanda slipped your shorts down to your knees. Gently kneading at the sore flesh of your ass, offering you only a split second of comfort before she was bringing her hands down with brutal force. You screamed.

There was just something about the sting that she almost instantly soothed with her cold metal rings that made you so reactive to her.

Natasha didn't mind much anymore, she was too distracted by your warm cunt on her grey sweats, your wetness already seeping through.

"Let's take this to the room detka's," Wanda whispered as she kissed your shoulder, then she leaned over you to kiss Nat while using her magic to pull your shorts back up. Natasha then lifted you by your sore butt, you muffled a moan against her shirt, and she chuckled.

Wanda stayed behind to erase the camera footage, and to discard of your black omelette.

When she made it to the room she was briefly stunned, being greeted by your raised ass, with a clear view of your sopping wet folds a dream come true. Natasha positioned you perfectly, herself as well. Her raspy moans filled the entire room as you ate her without complaint.

Wanda didn't falter as she approached the bed, she smacked your cunt this time, you jolted forward and made Natasha scream with you.

Natasha came, and you pulled away with a gasp a minute later, leaning your wet cheek onto her thigh as you sought to catch your breath. The redhead found your smile adorable, but then you mewled as Wanda teased your entrance. The warmth of her arousal returned, and she shoved your mouth back against her pussy.

Wanda slid two fingers into you after a minute of teasing you, her knees nearly buckled as she felt your warmth taking her so well. When she thrusted back in she met resistance with the addition of a third finger. Your walls clung to her so tight she momentarily couldn't move.

Then she used her free hand to rapidly spank both of your cheeks, you mewled against the redhead who'd been rutting your face numb.

*thank you mommy*

*out loud detka*

Her hand slammed down harder this time, you tried to pull away as you screamed your praise but Natasha's grip on your head was iron tight. Wanda was lenient in her acceptance of your gratitude, the way Natasha choked on her moan was enough thanks to last a lifetime.

Natasha's cunt was drunk on your lips, and you on her essence. The heady taste of her arousal left you feeling ravenous, starving for more. Wanda was enamored by the sight, from her angle she can see Natasha's face, it was tinted red from the exertion, and drenched in sweat.

Then the sounds of you devouring her, wetness abound as you kept a steady pace pulled her attention to the side where she got to see it. Her fingers never stopped working you over, she could see how that made you falter in your attempts to bring Natasha to bliss a third time.

Wanda curled her fingers, slowly brushing over your g-spot with rough fingertips from all her gardening. She watched with a devious grin as your lips wrapped your earth shattering scream around Natasha's sensitive bundle of nerves.

Natasha screamed for the both of you as she came, her body softly thudded into the bed, and Wanda felt you clench, you were close.

You whined as her fingers left you, Wanda was desperate to taste you, and so you didn't lose momentum she was quick to bring her lips to your glistening set. The contortionist of a witch was no stranger to back bending, so she placed her palms against your thighs with her fingers pointing down for leverage, and leaned back.

Wanda brought you over the edge she'd left you teetering on in seconds, and reveled in the reward of your abundant arousal. Her tongue worked you over into another blinding orgasm, and if not for your cries of pain she'd have kept going. Truth be told she still wanted to now.

Once she returned to an upright position she saw the way your body awkwardly slumped into the mattress besides Natasha. She could also see the sleeping redhead who was snoring.

Wanda removed your legs from the spreader, allowing your body to slowly fall into the bed. Then she applied a cream to your raw cheeks, cleaned the both of your cunts with a warm rag and featherlight touch, then left soft kisses to Natasha's parted lips, and your smiling ones.

"Get some sleep detka," Wanda purred against your shoulder, her lips curved as she rutted against your thigh. "Mommy's just gonna take care of the mess you two made, it's only fair I use your body. You understand right?"

"Mhm," you gulped softly, "Please use me, wanna help you feel so good mommy."

"Good girl," she moaned, her hips were rocking passionately against the back of your thigh, it was kinda peculiar how she expected you to sleep. "Rest detka, mommy isn't done with you two yet. Not even close, so sleep now."

Soon her ministrations faded from your mind, your skin numb enough to let your mind rest.

You dreamt of a fairytale forever like this.

——

[vannys-pizzaplex-askblog]

"Tickle Fight"

Switches: Oliver and Zip

Note: This is completely platonic. This also contains a bit of feet tickles, so if you're uncomfortable with that, you don't have to read it.

Oliver snickered, trying to keep his laughter at bay as he continued to repeatedly squeeze Zip's sides, all while she went for his hips.

"Z-Zihihihip- *snrk-* You're not gohohonna wihihin-!"

Zip growled playfully in response, struggling to keep her own laughter from slipping out as she continued to claw and scratch at Oliver's hips.

"I-I ahahahaham toohoohoo! I-I'm not giving uhup-!"

Oliver continued to snicker and giggle, moving his hands up to Zip's underarms.

"W-Well I'm nohohohot giving up eheheheither!"

Zip let out a small squeak, her giggling becoming slightly louder. It wasn't enough to actually make her give up, as she then went up to Oliver's ribs.

"E-Ehehehehehe- *squeak-!* Hahahahahahaha-"

Oliver flinched as he felt Zip's fingers scribbling against his ribs, but he tried his hardest to keep up his attack and eventually moved to her stomach.

"Y-Yohohou little shihihit-! *Snort*"

Zip squealed, immediately stopping her attack and now just desperately trying to bat Oliver's hands away.

"NOHOHOHOHO! *SQUEAK-* NOT THEHEHERE-!"

Oliver chuckled, continuing to scratch at Zip's sensitive stomach.

"Aww, giving up already~? You were so cocky at the start~"

Zip growled through her laughter, grabbing ahold of Oliver's ankle before scratching at his foot.

"N-Nope! *Snrk-* Haven't given up yet!"

Oliver's eyes widened at the feeling of Zip scratching his foot, immediately throwing his head back and cackling with laughter.

"W-WAHAHAHAHAIT- *SNORT* HOLD OHOHOHON-! N-NOT THEHEHERE!!"

Zip's eyes lit up at the reaction, her tail swaying back and forth.

"Aww, and I thought you said your underarms were your only weak spot? How wrong you were~"

Oliver whined in response, desperately trying to pull his foot away as tears of joy trailed down his face.

"PLEHEHEASE- *SNORT* STAHAHAHAP-!"

Zip hummed in response, eventually scratching underneath Oliver's toes.

"So I win, huh? Is that what you're saying~?"

Oliver's laughter only grew more hysterical as he desperately nodded his head.

"YEHEHEHES- *SNORT-* YOU WIHIHIN-! MEHEHEHEHERCY!!"

Zip giggled, eventually letting go of Oliver's foot as she watched him lay on the floor.

"Hehe! Told you ya couldn't beat me!"

Oliver huffed in response, rolling his eyes.

"Y-Yeah...Whatever..."

[otomiyaa]

Day 10: In Secret

Henry x Alex | Nim's Lovely Tickletober 

Word Count: 800

The newspapers, gossip magazines and printouts still covered the table. Alex couldn't stop grinning, even if he didn't mean to.

"I can't believe we just got yelled at, for something like this."

"I do, actually. I can believe it."

Sure, the world knew about their relationship. But there was still their duty to keep things as professional as possible. Secretly but not so secretly tickling and groping each other whenever and wherever they could, it wasn't really part of 'the code', as Zahra worded it beautifully just now.

"What I can't believe is that they got this gem on camera," Henry said, leaning forward and grabbing one of the sheets with an Instagram post Zahra had screenshotted for them. The caption said "We've got a ticklish first son!" and showed how Henry was pinching his side, with Alex cackling loudly.

"Yeah, not my most charming picture. Loving this one though," Alex said, and he tossed the gossip magazine in Henry's direction, which fell open at the right page: Alex Claremont-Diaz and Prince Henry of Wales can't keep their hands off each other.

On the picture they chose to show with the article, Alex was tickling Henry in what he had apparently thought was a subtle way, but the paparazzi had captured it perfectly.

Henry snorted. "You have to stop tickling each other!" he mimicked Zahra's angry outburst. "I don't want to know what your mother will say to this," he said immediately after that.

Alex chuckled. "I'm pretty sure she'll be happy that we're having fun. And a healthy love life."

Henry glared at him. "You know what all these have got in common?" he asked, nodding at the papers on the table. Alex shrugged.

"Ticklish us?" he said. Henry shook his head.

"You tickled first. I remember this moment exactly," he said, showing the one where Alex was getting tickled.

"I was only doing this because you did it first."

Alex gasped loudly. "That's a big accusation. And very true," he immediately admitted.

"So?" Henry raised his eyebrows.

"So, I will solemnly swear that I shall no longer... tickle Prince Henry of Wales... unless it's..." he paused.

"...in private."

"...in secret."

They both said it at the same time, and Henry immediately gasped. "What did you just say? What do you mean, secret?"

Alex wiggled his eyebrows. "I just have to make sure that when I tickle you, no one can see."

"No! No, Alex no!" Henry laughed.

Yes, Alex. Yes.

That night they were forced to be around people for hours, for the birthday celebration of President Ellen Claremont which was organized with a big charity event, including a dinner and a party.

"Alex!" Henry hissed when Alex tickled his knee under the dinner table. Alex made a face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, to which Henry had no choice but laugh behind his hand.

"S-stohop!"

When someone looked at them in confusion, Alex chuckled along with Henry.

"My mother's speeches always have some... hidden comedy in them. It's a family thing," he whispered to explain Henry's cute little giggle fit. Meanwhile he performed a perfect tickly claw on Henry's knee and loved to hear him laugh quietly.

And later again. Even after dinner during the party, Alex made sure to be an ass about it. Anytime he was close enough to Henry, he would tickle him secretly. If Henry was somewhere and Alex needed to pass him, instead of simply grabbing his shoulders he grabbed his waist and tickled him on purpose while passing by.

"Sorry, coming through."

"AH-!" Henry almost dropped his drink. With so many people around, all he could do was glare at Alex and mouth silently: "I will kill you."

"Love you too," Alex mouthed back.

When they were dancing, again Alex would tickle him in the most subtle way possible.

"Ahahalex!"

Despite the warnings and dangers, nothing stopped Alex from tickling Henry over and over that night. And by the time they were alone together in their bedroom again, he could finally be confronted about it.

"Alex!" Henry whined, but Alex quickly held up his phone and raised his eyebrows.

"Look, the photos from tonight are already all over the net and guess what. Didn't catch us."

"I can't believe you," Henry sighed, shaking his head as he watched Alex scroll through the various articles and photo galleries.

"This here though... Look at you. I was totally tickling you under the table here. Look at your cute little nose scrunch," Alex teased as he showed Henry one photo in particular.

Henry grabbed Alex' arm and yanked him forward. "I will so kill you for this," he said before kissing him on the lips.

"So kill me," Alex said breathlessly through some intense and passionate kisses.

And the moment Henry brought his hands towards his body and started to tickle, Alex could only think that this was what he had been looking forward to all day long, and he was so ready for Henry's ticklish revenge!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 37

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You lazily eat the penne, noodle by noodle, from the plate balanced on your stomach. The evening air cools as Suzanne sits close by, her pasta mostly untouched as she sips non-alcoholic wine from a glass.

Lloyd has been elusive since his return, though you've heard some telltale banging. He continues to haunt you like some Poe horror.

"I couldn't do it," Suzanne trills, "I can barely stand more than an hour with the jackass and I get paid to."

"Mmm, yeah, wasn't exactly my first choice, but accidents happen. Actually, you know him, no such thing as an accident, more a lack of accountability."

"Oh, ew," she scrunches her nose, "he didn't strike me as the baby type." 

"Me either which is why… well, nevermind."

You spear another noodle and carefully angle it past your lips, trying not to dribble any sauce. It's been a while since you had someone you could just talk to. Dottie is a great support but she's still Lloyd's mother.

"What?" She prompts as she leans her chin in her hand.

"Oh, you know, I'm the mother. Means I'm gonna be doing all the work. And why? Because he thought it would be fun… he gets to have the shiny bright moments and I'll be changing diapers and cleaning up puke."

"Typical," she snarls. "Never likes to get his hands dirty."

She takes another sip of wine and she slowly puts the glass down. Her lips slant as a thought sparks in her eyes. She points at you and clicks her tongue.

"What happened with the mustache?"

"What do you mean?"

"He shaved. Months ago. Was that you?"

You cackle as you recall that. It was rather amusing to witness the shame and panic of his drunken mistake. You rest your fork against the rim of the plate.

"Did it himself. Got blitzed off his face and just, shoop, gone," you make a motion above your lip, "idiot."

“Ha, wow. Damn. I was hoping you had a bit of vengeance on the prick. I mean… you still could. Wait til he falls asleep…” she smirks, “you know once, were were on a flight and I probably could’ve done it.”

“I’m already expecting one baby, I don’t need another,” you scoff. “Here, can you get this?”

You lift the plate and hold it out to her. She’s quick to take it and puts it beside her own. You plant your hands on the sides of the chair and grunt, pushing yourself up with excruciating effort. You manage to sit forward, breathless.

“Jeez, you need help?” She hovers near you.

“Probably,” you struggle to turn your legs over the edge.

“Is it really that miserable?” She asks.

“What? Being with him?”

“I mean, that too, but being pregnant,” she offers her arm.

“Eh, it’s just the cherry on top of an already stacked shit sandwich.”

“I see why he’s with you,” she snorts, “you are both very creative. Disgustingly so.”

You roll your eyes and grab onto her arm. Before you can stand, you hear your name. Not ‘peaches’, not ‘baby face’, not ‘sweet cheeks’, your name. Lloyd stomps out, waggling his finger.

“Suzanne, step away from my wife.”

“Huh?’

 Suzanne twists to face Lloyd, “Christ, I’m helping her.”

“No, you’re not,” he storms down, shoulder back, nostrils flaring, “she’s not supposed to be walking around.” He comes up to you and puts his palm up to stop you, “I’ll take care of her.”

“Lloyd, I can make it inside.”

“The doctor said–”

“God, I know what the doctor said,” you hiss.

“So listen. Neither of us wanna end up back in the hospital, now do we?”

You sigh. You and Suzanne share a look. You recognise the dull twinkle in her eye. You’re kindred spirits. Cursed with the nuisance of this man, only she gets to walk away.

“So, Suzanne,” Lloyd plants a hand on your shoulder as he faces his colleague, “you on your way out?”

“Um, I guess, but–”

“That’s great, I don’t need to show you out, do I?”

She smiles dryly and tilts her head, “not at all. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Lloyd sputters.

“Oh yeah, we’re doing lunch, right, babe?” She looks at you expectantly.

Your brows lift and you take a second to register what she’s doing. You nod. “Uh, yep, yeah, that’ll be great.”

“Peaches, you should be relaxing. You’re all tense,” Lloyd squeezes your shoulder, “I can feel it–”

“So that probably means she needs a nice back rub, huh,” Suzanne suggests with a devilish glint in her eye.

Lloyd clucks, “yeah, I guess it does so… leave.”

Suzanne chuckles. She raises her palms and backs away. “Fine, I’ll fuck off. For now.”

Lloyd sneers at her as she slowly turns and she struts off proudly, fishing in her pocket until her car chirps and unlocks. You watch her get in and deflate, just a little. It’s just you and him. Again.

You shrug Lloyd’s hand away and rub your stomach, keeping one hand on the lounger. As Suzanne backs down the driveway, you issue a glum sigh. Without her to distract you, you feel ever pang and pinch in your muscles.

“Alright, where to?” Lloyd faces you.

“Huh?”

“Sofa, bath… bed?” He winks, “I think I could help ease the tension.” 

“Just… inside,” you mutter, “please.”

He pauses. You avoid his gaze as you look out across the yard. It’s only then the heavy epiphany settles over you. This place is a prison. It’s the last place you’ll live for the rest of your life. With him and soon his child. You’ll never be without a warden to keep you in line.

“Alright,” he bends and scoops you up, slowly, with effort. You feel horrible as he turns cautiously, steps stunted and stiff. 

“Lloyd, you’re going to hurt yourself doing this,” you hook your arm around his shoulders and try to ease the weight.

“I’m fine,” he grunts as he gets to the door.

You reach for the door to open it. He turns and sidles in awkwardly. It’s a tight shuffle but he makes it inside. He carries you back to the living room and sits you on the couch. He stands, cheeks tinged and forehead sweaty.

“Tea?” He offers.

“No,” you recline with a groan, “why are you being nice?”

“I’m your husband.”

“You were yelling at me an hour ago.”

“Because I’m worried.”

“About me or the baby?”

He sniffs and grips his hips, “both.”

“Eh, sure,” you dismiss him flatly, “I just wanna lay her. Alone.”

“Well that’s not going to happen,” Lloyd states.

“Of course,” you grumble.

“I am going to rub your back and you’re going to relax. You need to, peaches, for yourself as much as the kid.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mutter. “Really, don’t bother–”

He pushes you up, grasping your shoulders as he angles onto the couch behind you. He sits between you and the arm, hooking his leg around you as he settles in. He rolls his thumbs into you, forcing a moan from your lips as you muscles contract in response.

“Feels good?” He asks.

“Erm,” you refuse to indulge him.

“Come on, baby face.”

You’re quiet as you hang your head forward. You’ll enjoy it but you don’t have to admit it. You hug your stomach as he slides his hands down your back, pressing his knuckles into each knot.

“Do you always have to ruin everything?” You ask at last.

“What?”

“Chase away everyone. What am I not allowed to have friends?”

“What–”

“If you don’t want me… like this,” you gesture helplessly, “you have to give me something, anything, that doesn’t make me absolutely miserable.”

He exhales and his hands keep moving. You let your head drift to the side as you laze into his touch.

“You don’t know Suzanne. She’s… well, she’s a lot like me.”

“Funny, cause she said the same about me.”

“Oh, really,” he scoffs.

“Yeah, think you’ve rubbed off on me.”

“Hell yeah I have,” he snickers, “rub off to you and over you, on you…”

“Would you– do you ever just stop?”

He hums and puffs out through his nose, “alright, peaches, you’re right. You can’t be all alone all the time. Just…keep those walls up. You got good instincts.”

“Mmm, yeah, just bad luck.”

[takeariskao3]

written for #severalsunlitdaylights & @corneliaavenue-ao3!! day 1: taylor swift (debut)

Harry had no idea how he let himself end up in this very specific nightmare of a situation. The last thing he wanted was for Ginny’s arm to be draped around his neck as he half-walked, half-carried her back to her flat on the other side of campus.

His only justification, was that Ron had been otherwise occupied by a some girl he knew from class. While he'd been snogging her in the corner, Harry had to watch as Ginny nearly fell off of her chair attempting to out drink some footballer, who had eighty pounds and a full twelve inches on her. After that his path forward seemed pretty clear. Despite his aversion to it.

So, there he was, traipsing across the quad with the barely conscious object of his infernal infatuation tripping along beside him.

"Any particular reason," he began lightly, ignoring the way her head rested against his shoulder, "tonight was the night you decided to drink yourself to death?"

She sighed and stumbled over her toes. "Jusabitofun..."

"Oh, yeah?" Harry adjusted his grip around her waist. "Face down in a toilet is fun for you?"

"Plesss," she slurred. "I haven't been pissed sick since '96."

"And how long have you been speaking in couplets?"

She cackled, and the sound echoed off the stone buildings on either side of them. "You think you're so funny."

"No," Harry replied. "Just sober."

Ginny booed, loudly, and he had to clap a hand over her mouth to keep her outburst from waking up the entire fucking city. In his effort to keep her quiet, he pulled to a stop and they now stood in the damp yellow light of street lamp, two blocks from their destination.

"Christ, Ginny," he cursed. "What's gotten into you?"

She stared up at him and mumbled something behind his palm. He hoped she was inebriated enough that she didn't notice the way his breath caught the longer their gazes held.

Harry dropped his hand. "What was that?"

"I ditched Dean tonight."

His stomach did a violent swoop through his middle and Harry swallowed down the sudden tightness in the back of his throat.

"Why?"

Ginny shrugged, her eyes darting away from his face and into the middle distance. "Never felt right. Not all the way, at least. Not like it's supposed to."

Harry didn't really have a response to this, but he couldn't look away from her either. In an instant, her carefree and impetuous demeanor was shadowed by a profound misery.

Then he realized he was staring, so he cleared his throat and skirted his glance away.

"He's a good bloke, Dean," she continued absentmindedly, as Harry led her into a few measured steps down the sidewalk. "But I never felt like I was all the way myself with him. I wasn't ever just... me. D'ya know what I mean?"

"M-Maybe," he stammered. "Er–Sure..."

Snorting, Ginny placed her hand over where his palm rest against her ribs. "And when do you feel most like yourself?"

When I'm with you.

"I dunno," he said instead, fundamentally mortified by the gut reply that had almost clawed its way out at her question.

"I think it's when I'm on the pitch," she hummed, her eyes dropping shut as they meandered ever closer to Cairncross.

Harry didn't have a response to this, or at least, he kept his mouth firmly shut for fear of what he might blurt out if he didn't.

Eventually, they approached Ginny's building. He simultaneously felt bereft and relieved as she shuffled out of his grasp and up her front steps. She pressed incessantly at her and Hermione's buzzer until the door hummed and the lock clicked.

"Thanks for walking me," she hummed, holding the door open and staring down at him with a soft smile.

Harry smirked back. "Think you'll make it up the stairs?"

"Only one way to find out." With one last grin, she turned on her heel and let the door begin to shut behind her.

Harry had a split second to make his decision, and impulse won as her earlier explanation pounded out a rhythm in the base of his skull.

I ditched Dean. I ditched Dean. I ditched Dean.

"Hey, Ginny!" he called, only a few inches of space left before the door could close all the way.

She reappeared, the light of the hall spilling out behind her.

Harry stood dumbstruck and silent as she watched him in mild curiosity.

"I–" he struggled uselessly. "I'm–"

"No, wait–" she interjected, her eyes wide and the quirk to her lips expectant. He couldn't quite explain it in the moment, but the expression on her face told him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she knew exactly what he'd been about to say. "Will you do me a favor?"

Harry's exhale shuddered on its way out. "Sure?"

Ginny beamed at him, and he felt it like a lance of sunlight straight through his sternum. "Tell me tomorrow?"

Something inside his chest cracked open; soaring, galloping hope seared its way through his blood stream.

She tilted her head to the side, resting it against the door jamb. "Because I want to remember this."

"Yeah, okay. Tomorrow."

Harry chuckled as she disappeared back inside, contemplating what exactly defined tomorrow, and if it would hurt his chances if he showed up on her doorstep sometime around sun-up.

Probably. But Harry figured if he brought along a bag of pastries, that just might make up for it.

[leathfaic]

"So what do ye eat then, when ye get the choice?" Soap is opening two bottles of beer handing one over to Ghost. He's clueless about what to cook for dinner, might as well ask Simon for some input.

"Chicken and rice. Or I order something." Ghost's tone is nonchalant as he studies the label of the beer he was just handed and Soap decides immediately that he's not gonna follow the plain suggestion actually. He's on leave and deserves some flavour in his food, thank you very much.

"Single malt whisky cask matured?" Ghost' sounds slightly disbelieving. "That is very Scottish.", or disapproving, who knew with the English.

So Soap just snorts, "Had to get ye some of the local stuff, eh? If ye behave ah'll make sure we get some of the beer with tea in for ye." 

At that Simon, who was sniffing his beer, looks up, pure horror in his eyes and Soap's snort evolves into a full-on cackle. 

He catches himself a moment later, inspecting the almost pouting look behind the mask and decides to drop the topic for now. Instead, he raises his bottle at Simon, "To leave, aye?".

Ghost does the same, their bottles clinking. 

"Cheers."

"Slàinte Mhath." 

Crisp and cold. Fuck he'd missed beer. Missed a lot of things during that last OP. Food that tasted like actual food was one, bringing him back to his original line of questioning. It shouldn't be surprising that Ghost is not into cooking. He's the only person Soap has ever seen eating anything from the mess with true enthusiasm. Sorts his MREs by how much he likes them too when he thinks no one is looking. Always eating the best first.

"Not much of a cook then?" he keeps his tone light and innocent while sipping his beer. Trying to observe Simon's reactions without making him feel watched.

"I can handle meat," There's a stupid smirk traded between them and Soap would roll his eyes if he didn't have to reign himself in, immediately set ablaze by the stupid joke.

"Learned at a butchers before I joined." Ghost offers up by way of explanation, sounding almost sad. Something must've happened there, something that had Simon ending up in the force. Something that led to him becoming Ghost.

"Well perfect, I'm not terrible but I do handle meat way better in the bedroom." Soap winks at him and this time, to make sure the innuendo lands painfully enough to pull Ghost out of his head. 

It does and earns him an exasperated look. Might have convinced him if those brown eyes weren't full of fondness. 

He's gonna leave Ghost with the belief that he's not learning to see behind the mask for a little longer: Wants him to feel comfortable. No need to divulge that his tone clearly betrayed that he's got no idea how to cook apart from putting some meat into a pan and put all his hope into some cook in bags. Lots of people couldn't cook, it wasn't a big deal.

Only that it is not just that. From the few things he's told Soap about himself, it makes sense, in a sad way.

Simon, who confronts being gay like being in battle, all hyper-masculine energy focused on fighting through all the hurtful stereotypes and insults his father planted in his head, probably never got to do a lot of things that weren't 'manly'. Makes him wonder where the needle skills come from but only for a split second before he decides he's gonna do something about this then.

"So what is yer favourite food then?" 

"Don't really 'ave one." the stoic bastard answers and Soap has to think about the MREs but also has no trouble believing that that is a luxury the other man doesn't allow himself to ponder. Thinks he doesn't deserve it.

Not that'll stop him. Quite the opposite, now he's motivated.

"Alright, anythin ye could be doin with right now?" 

He watches Ghost's eyes dart through the kitchen seemingly looking for a clue. Bouncing of cabinets and shelves before he takes a swig of his beer.

"No." he finally answers, sounding like he's withdrawing into himself again. For fucks sake.

Soap smiles at him hiding his exasperation away before it can reach his face, doesn't need his emotions to make this harder on both of them. 

"Well too bad, yer at ma mercy." He lets his smile dip into something devilish and revels in the note of alarm in Simon's lovely eyes. It's quickly replaced with confusion as Soap presses a knife into his hands. He stands there, looking for all accounts like a very misplaced ghoul. Very deadly but also kinda endearing.

"Ye can cut the onion, garlic, are chilis fine with ye? If so, cut two of those too and make sure ye wash yer hands after tha'. 

They work in silence for a moment, Ghost's dutifully following Soap's command without any complaints. When Soap begins to sear the meat he explains what he's doing and asks for input from Ghost. He's rewarded with warm surprise on the mostly masked features before Ghost starts talking, softer than his usual tone when he's guiding Soap through something job-related, becoming almost reverent when he sees Soap adjust to what he just said. And Soap tries to be careful with his usual ribbing jokes, not wanting to disturb the equilibrium that is Ghost relaxing in his flat.

When the other ingredients are added he takes over again. Talking the lieutenant through the process. Explaining his steps when he knows why they're important and freely admitting defeat when he doesn't. 

They drink their beers and cook, Ghost once more following every step that Soap lays out for him and Soap silently trying to impress him. Not that he was gonna admit that to either himself or anyone else.

"Who taught you all tha'?", they're just waiting for the pasta now, the sauce down and bubbling away on low heat, leaning against each other, Soaps head resting on Ghost's shoulder. Outright domestic. 

"Ma grannie," Soap smiles fondly at the memory of the tiny woman with her sincere blue eyes. "Told me being a lad was no excuse and Ah'd better know ma way around a kitchen for ma future burd." he winks at Ghost who goes surprisingly red surprisingly fast clearly visible even behind the mask. "When Ah told her Ah'm a buftie she doubled down. Ian she said, refused to call me John ye see forever angry tha' ma da went with the anglicised version, anyways, Ian she said if ye're bringing home another man one of ye will need to know how to cook or for all yer gay love ye'll focking starve." he can almost hear hear as his accent gets thicker and something between wild joy and bottomless sorrow tears through his chest at the memory.

There's a beat of silence before a weird noise breaks it. It's a rough quick sound and it takes Soap a second to realise that Simon just snorted. 

"Well thank fuck for grandma MacTavish and her foresight!" he pulls his almost empty beer bottle into the air dramatically and they toast again. 

Soap's smile is wide, imagining what his nan's reaction to Ghost would've been. 

They might have gotten on entirely too well. 

[fetishfairytales2]

The Cucky ALPHAbet, Pt. 2 (Story)

Credit for the original concept of Brandi and Heather goes to @wittlesissyb4by and their excellent story “Besties”. Credit for the original concept of the “Cucky Alphabet” goes to Safeword Ignored Comics.

Each of the bolded letters corresponds to the letter from the song!

———————————————————

Late Afternoon…

Connor and I were so drunk that we could barely make it from the Uber to the front door. "Come on, loser," he slurred as he walked in, "quit being a fairy and get in here!" He stumbled through the house, laughing obnoxiously as he looked for Brandi. Impatiently, he made his way to the living room where he found her passed out on the couch. "Aww, isn't that cute," I giggled, "we loaded her up with so many tasks, she's exhausted." Connor snorted and grabbed Brandi by the pigtails. "Wake up, bitch," he laughed, yanking her up to her feet.

"Aww, my little cupcake," I smirked, looking down at Brandi in her tutu and wet diaper. "Did you tinkle in your Pampers because you're terrified of my man? Pathetic!" Connor spanked Brandi so hard it brought tears to her eyes. “That’s right bitch boy,” he slurred, “cry you emasculated little fairy.” 

I laughed watching my sissy cuck have a temper tantrum. "It’s okay sweetie,” I reassured her with a hand on her slumped shoulder. “You're such a good girl for being scared of him!" She looked up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. God I was enjoying every moment of this. "You did this to yourself," I shrugged, "now you're stuck with your choices!"

"Come on, Brandi," Connor boomed impatiently and yanked on her pigtails like she was his little pet on a leash. I smirked at her terrified expression. "Don't look at me for help," I snickered. "You know Connor’s fucking me in front of you, and I definitely won't be sucking his whiskey dick until he gets hard..." I cackled as Brandi understood what she would be doing tonight. I could hear her pathetic whimpers as Connor threw her onto the bed. 

I climbed onto the bed next to my sissy toy’s shaking body and, very slowly, started to unbutton my shirt. "Oh my god, I want to see your massive dick in her slutty mouth, babe," I moaned, now only in my bra and tight jeans. "Dude, get that gross shit out of your mouth," Connor roared as he ripped the pacifier gag out of Brandi's mouth, almost taking her teeth too. He then quickly unzipped his jeans and threw his shirt on the floor, leaving him in just his boxers. "Kiss that fucking hot, hunky chest," I hissed in Brandi's ear

"Mmm, that's it, Brandi," I moaned, loving when we degraded her like this. “Kiss all the way down his abs and get all the way to his hips." Connor grabbed a hold of my ass, and kissing me deeply, pinning Brandi between us, her mouth just inches from Connor's massive cock. "Use your teeth on them," I giggled down at Brandi between kisses, just as I noticed her reaching the waistband of Connor's boxers. "Pull them down, slowly, with your teeth," I insisted, smirking at her. “Run your tongue around the shaft too…”

Helpless Sissy Brandi spent the next 30 minutes getting her throat stretched and gagging on Connor's cock. "Good girl, you're such a talented cocksucker," I laughed as I massaged her throat and stroked her hair. She couldn't stop crying and when I pinched her nose shut, she sobbed even more. "How does it feel?" I whispered in her ear. "How does it feel to fluff another man’s giant cock before he gets to fuck your girlfriend?"

“Finally!" I laughed, enjoying the sight of tears streaming down Brandi's face as she struggled to get Connor hard after his drunken night. "Move, bitch," he pushed Brandi aside. "Wait, wait," I snickered, getting a deliciously cruel idea. I bent over on all fours and glanced back at Connor, winking at him. "Let her be of use," I suggested. 

As drunk and horny as he was, Connor just shrugged in agreement, while Brandi looked at me with confusion and certainty that this wouldn't end well for her. I motioned for her to come closer and whispered in her ear as Connor stroked his dick behind me, getting even harder. “Don’t think of it like being humiliated,” I pouted at Brandi; “think of it as being helpful!”

"Come on, Daddy," I purred, shaking my ass as Connor got behind me. "Let me feel all of you... and let Brandi assist." Brandi hesitated until I gave her a stern look and cleared my throat. "Don't make me count to three," I warned her. She gulped and tremblingly reached for Connor's massive cock, guiding it toward my wet pussy. "Mmm," I moaned as Connor's head rubbed against my clit. "Good girl, insert it for Daddy. Do all the work to help him fuck your girlfriend. Guide him in with your hand."

As Connor teased me with his cock, I jangled the key to Brandi's chastity cage, getting her attention. "You've been such a good girl," I cooed, unlocking her plastic pink spiked cage as she stood in front of me. "Now, stay in your corner like a good little sissy," I demanded, as my real man started fucking me like a pornstar. 

With each thrust, I could feel myself getting closer and closer to climax as his massive cock brought me so much pleasure. Moans and curses spilled from my mouth as I gripped the sheets. "Oooh f-fuck," I moaned, staring into Brandi’s eyes as he stroked his tiny clit. “Mmm, go-good girl…” Connor was grunting harder now, right on the edge. 

I looked over at the suffering sissy again. “Y…you better not…fuck…cum bitch!” I scolded him. “I want…want you, oh fuck Connor!” He sped up as he reached orgasm, “don’t stop baby, please. I want our little slut jacking her little clitty while she stands in the corner watching us…! OH FUCK!” I shook, reaching my orgasm and collapsing to the bed.

“Oh my god!” I laughed, straddling Connor's strong body. "That was amazing, baby. I can not get enough of you." I pulled him close for a passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Brandi's pathetic attempt to pleasure herself. "Poor little sissy, even Connor’s kisses are better than yours. Don't you dare touch yourself anymore, you're not allowed to get off like a real man. Seriously, what kind of loser just watches while another man scores with your girlfriend?"

Connor was laughing at the pathetic cuckold. “A pathetic fucking loser,” he answered for Brandi. She was crying again, but who cares? She was always crying. "She might as well be a girl with all that makeup she's wearing," Connor teased, making us both laugh. I kissed him, loving how he humiliated our little cuckold. "Get your ass over here, bitch!" Connor barked as I watched with glee. Brandi hesitantly made her way over to the bed, kneeling next to the real man in my bedroom. "Good slut,” Connor said as he roughly grabbed Brandi by the chin, “you still have my cum dried on your face. I want you to savor it bitch. Oh, and that's a nice dress you're wearing! Why don't you give us a little twirl?"

I had an idea, a very bitchy idea! I pointed at the foot of the four poster bed. “Oh my God! You’ll love this Brandi. You’re gonna be our little stripper for the night, got it?” Brandi tried to protest, but Connor grabbed her by the pigtails again and yanked her up. “You heard her, bitch. If she wants you to dance then fucking dance.” I giggled with excitement. “Let's see you wiggle that Pampered ass on the pole!” I cheered as Brandi reluctantly followed the command, slowly stripping off her tutu as she danced. “Wow, look at that sissy slut go!” I cackled as Brandi danced as best as she could. “So hot, she's such a good little whore!” I catcalled and whistled.

"Enough of this shit," Connor said, losing interest in watching the feminized loser strip in front of him. “Get him out of here while I go take a shower.” He walked into the bathroom shaking his head at how pathetic Brandi was. "You're no fun," I complained, rolling my eyes. As he left, I sat cross-legged on the bed and looked at the crying sissy. "How could you?" Was all she managed asked, still sobbing. I grabbed my dirty thong off the floor and cleaned my pussy with them before tossing them at Brandi. "Put them in your mouth or I'll have Connor come back out here and spank you." Without hesitation, she gagged herself with the panties.

I just laughed at how sad Brandi still looked. “Seriously? It's been a whole year and you're still shocked? You cheated and now you're dealing with the consequences. Plus, let's be real, your dick is embarrassingly small. I'm a size queen, so if I had known before how small it was? We never would have been a thing. Gross. I can't deal with tiny dicks. Ew!” I pointed toward the door. “New game bitch, let’s call it role reversal, you’re going to be our maid! Go finish your chores and clean the house. NOW!”

[neymarluvrr]

neymar jr- ꧁✿❦

summary: you do the famous wrap challenge with neymar

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

"right, do you know how the challenge works?-" you were abruptly cut short of your sentence when neymar decided it would be funny to slap the wrap he had in his hand around your face when you turned to face him.

he threw his head back and laughed out loud, you staring at him, mouth wide. "NEYMAR!"

"m'sorry." he snorted, looking at your face that was shocked and he started laughing again. "i can't-"

"we haven't even started yet!" you exclaimed, grabbing another wrap out the package, deciding to get him back by slapping it around his face.

"Y/N!" he copied your reaction, and you both began to laugh. you shook your head, inhuman noises coming out of both of your bodies.

"right." he says, his laughter dying down, clearing his throat. "you said we have to do this with water, yes?" he asked you, grabbing the glass of water that was on the table infront of you both.

"yep, and we have to do rock paper scissors to see who goes first." you explain clearly as the first time you tried to do that, he had slapped the wrap around your face.

"you dare spit the water at me, and i swear to god-' he mumbled, taking a sip of water, making sure to keep it in his mouth and not to drink it.

"then dont hit it too hard around my face and that won't happen." you said sweetly, taking the glass from him and copying his actions.

you put the glass a safe distance away from you both so none of you could accidentally knock it over.

"okayreadyrockpaperscissors?" you tried to speak, but obviously couldn't due to the water in your mouth. it came out as an inaudible mumble and neymar put his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh.

however, he nodded as if he understood you. you both started to do rock paper scissors and on shoot you help up a rock while neymar held up the scissors sign.

YES!

you grinned as best as you could without water spilling out and neymar sighed, looking at you wearily.

you picked up the wrap, a laugh already starting to creep up your throat. neymar stepped back, shaking his head as you help the wrap up.

you both were laughing silently, surprisingly keeping the water in your mouth. you swat his hands away, both of you looking like a pair of chipmunks from the way you were both silently laughing.

you grab his hand to stop it blocking his face and with the other one you slapped the wrap around his face, causing him to spit his water out because he was laughing.

you did the same, however you aimed for the sink to spit yours into unlike neymar who just couldn't hold it in.

you let out a loud cackle, holding onto the counter for support. "im going to piss myself."

"that was so hard." neymar laughed, rubbing his cheek.

"i can't." you wiped under your eyes, grabbing the cup to go again. "you know the whole point of this game is to keep the water in your mouth."

even you knew that it was too funny to be able to keep it in your mouth.

"okay, go again." neymar said and you both put water in your mouth.

you did rock paper scissors again, this time you doing the paper sign and neymar holding up scissors. shit. your eyes widened and neymar looked at you with a gleam in his eyes.

neymar beckoned you over when you took a few steps back, shaking your head, you were trying so hard to keep the water in your mouth right now. he picked ups a wrap, grabbing your hip to stop you from walking back.

you tried to squirm out his grip, but he tightened his hand on you, shaking his head.

if he spits the water all over my face, i swear-

he smacks the wrap around your face, not as hard as you did to him though, thankfully and you both turned around, spitting the water out, laughing like a bunch of buffoons.

you did a couple more rounds, unfortunately neymar winning the rock paper scissors, so you had to suffer the wraps to your face..

[sandinthemachine]

Double Trouble

Summary: König and your dog conspiring against you

Warnings: None. Just a short drabble while I work on a longer request for this lovely man. Gender-neutral reader

Words: 582

I also couldn't think of a dog name so I named him after nerdforge's dog lmao

---

Light dances through gossamer window shades, honeysweet and agile as a dancer, leaping over your eyelids with easy grace.

You groan, yanking the covers back over your head, only to find far more than innocent sunlight conspiring to ruin your morning slumber. A cold nose, broad and insistent, wiggles its way under the covers, snuffling and snorting until it bonks into your temple. An angry little grumble escapes you as you shove the offending nose away, sinking deeper into your protective cocoon like a caterpillar refusing to emerge. A stuttering whine filters through the covers, and you press firm hands over your ears, only for a loud howl to burst right next to your face.

You whip the covers down and turn to confront your assailant, only to catch the tail-end of a raging ball of fluff carrying his temper tantrum down the hallway. Well, not your problem anymore.

-

König is well into breakfast by the time he hears heavy paws careening down the hallway. The bulky husky slides on the hardwood floor, scrabbling paws unable to stop his snout from bonking right into König's chair.

"Nóri," the man croons, reaching for the dog's ears, only for the dog to hop back with an irritated ruff. "What's the matter?"

Nóri taps his front paws back and forth, a grrr rumbling in his throat that soon erupts into a full-fledged bark.

"I see," König muses with a serious nod.

Nóri is already turning and prancing down the hallway, only to spin back around when he realizes König hasn't moved. He howls, bouncing on his paws with a stubborn awooo.

"If you insist." With a smile König pushes himself up from his chair and makes his way to the source of the problem.

-

You're already half asleep by the time you feel the bed shifting next to you, warm arms worming their way around you. "Errr...don't wanna," you mumble, trying to to burrow even further.

But he doesn't say anything, only wrapping himself around you and tucking his chin over where your head is under the blankets. You sigh, relaxing into him and pulling your shelter down just enough to crane your neck and nuzzle your face into him.

A wet human tongue immediately splats on your collarbone and you squeal, thrashing, but you're trapped in a prison of your own making as your burrito blanket squeezes your limbs to the side, forcing you to endure your partner's massive tongue as he licks up your neck and across your face.

"König!" You yelp, freeing yourself from his arms and rolling away, tumbling right off the bed. You struggle, trying to pull the blankets off you, but before you have the chance a furry anvil of a dog is dropping on top of you, one paw landing on your chest, another going right into your gut. A groan punches out of you, drowned in a flurry of slobbery kisses that are worse, infinitely worse than the one you escaped from. "Nóriiiiiii!"

You can hear König cackling from his perch on the bed, and try to yell your indignation at him only for Nóri to flop his full weight on you, fixing you with his signature wide-eyed crazy stare, mouth open in a panting grin. Begrudgingly, you chuckle at the little fiend, forgiving him for now.

König, on the other hand? You cast a glance at him, still wheezing and clutching his stomach as a smirk settles over your features.

He'd better watch his back.

---

Probably going to write a part 2 for this at some point when I get a good idea. For now, enjoy gremlin König :)

[eoieopda]

the one with seokjin, soju, and all the stars in the sky

Requested by Anon: Kim Seokjin got really drunk on a members-night-out, so his fiancée has to pick his cute, clingy ass up. ft. late-night wake-ups, gn!reader, and a lot of feelings about science. A/N: I accidentally deleted the draft associated with this ask, so now it's a separate post. Sorry for the wait, anon!

When Seokjin left for the evening, he'd placed a kiss on your forehead and a new book in your hands.

The novel in question was some obscure, independently published thing Namjoon had recommended. You'd mentioned it to Seokjin in passing — weeks ago — but hadn't had the downtime to seek it out since. Even if you had somehow carved out a moment to scour the local bookshops, you wouldn't have had the spare hours to immerse yourself in it the way you'd want to.

Not enough to meaningfully discuss its themes with Namjoon, anyway.

But Seokjin was Seokjin. He'd made some secret, mental note about what you said; hunted down that old single-edition book; and come up with a reason to spend his Saturday night elsewhere. He and his friends would get dinner and drinks — you'd get an overdue bubble bath and the solitude necessary to study for your unofficial, impromptu, two-member book club.

And that's precisely how you'd spent your night before tucking yourself into bed at the beautifully reasonable hour of half-past nine.

When your phone went off four hours later, you thought you were dreaming. You squinted at the screen for so long, trying to wrap your brain around the contact information blaring into your bleary eyes, that you almost failed to answer.

"Namjoon?" You croaked, throwing an arm over your eyes to hide from the offensive lamp light beaming off your bedside table. "I'm gonna need, like, a liter of coffee before I can wax poetic about the —"

"Hey, noona, it's Namjoon-ah!" He cut you off before you could finish. If the delayed, rhyming introduction didn't tip you off, the snorting, self-inflicted laughter would have.

Kim Namjoon, the designated dad of the friend group, was irrefutably ripped, zipped, and zooted.

You scrubbed your hand over your face in a futile attempt to stop your forming grin in its tracks. "Your picture popping up on my phone told me as much," You chuckled through your exhaustion, "To what do I owe the pleasure of this wake-up call?"

You heard him shout geonbae and gulp down some sort of shot before he provided you with an answer.

"Sojin has entered the chat," He announced with an absurd, deepened voice. Immediately, he cackled, "Get it? It's a portmanteau of soju and Seokjin, who is shitfaced — anyways, can you come get your man?"

It took you five minutes to throw on clothes and shuffle out the door to your car. The drive to the bar took only slightly longer, though it was the traffic lights and not the distance that slowed you down.

Unfortunately, twenty years came and went while you tackled the dreaded, subsequent task: parallel fucking parking.

The stress of it all nearly had you sweating by the time you entered the bar — you'd be hearing all that judgmental honking in your sleep, once you got back to it — but it all evaporated the second you saw Seokjin.

Off in the far corner, he sat on the outer half of a bench. Trapped inside that booth, visibly waiting for the sweet release of death, was Min Yoongi. You couldn't make out the details of that predominantly one-sided conversation, but you could tell by Seokjin's wild gesticulating and pink-tipped ears that he was ranting about something.

Bits and pieces fell into place as you made your away over, but no part of the overheard conversation made much sense to you.

Seokjin hiccupped, "I've said it once and I'll s-say it again —"

"— Hyung, I guarantee you've said it way more than once —" Yoongi attempted to interject, but he was quickly silenced by more of Seokjin's animated hand-waving.

"— Magic. It's magic, Yoongi. I'm tell — I'm telling you, man. There's just — hic — Science is stupid. I don't care about it, you know? And do you want — you wanna know why, Yoongi? Well, I'll t-tell you why —"

As he blinked emphatically at Yoongi, Seokjin must've somehow sensed you across the bar. He stopped dead in the middle of his unsolicited dissertation, wide-eyed with his jaw dropped, and gasped, "Baby!"

Before you could physically brace yourself for impact, he'd launched his clumsy frame out of his seat and collected you in his arms. Within seconds, without time to blink, his warm cheek was smushed against yours. Plush lips fluttered near your ear as he mumbled, "I missed you."

Of course, it'd only been a few hours since he last saw you, but he held you like you'd just returned from years at sea. Breathing deeply and contentedly, likely taking in the scent of your shampoo. Gently clutching the fabric of your jacket in his hands as if you'd float away otherwise. You had no desire whatsoever to burst that perfect, loving bubble, so you simply squeezed him tighter and told him that you'd missed him more.

Over his shoulder, you saw relief wash over Yoongi's face. No longer held hostage, he scooted himself out of the booth and immediately twisted in place to crack his back.

How long had he been stuck in there?

"Thank fuck," Yoongi sighed as he proceeded to crack his neck. He rolled his shoulders while answered the question you were about to ask, "Twenty entire minutes. Barely paused long enough to breathe, so I thought, shit — what if he dies here? I was scared I'd have to spend the rest of my days in this booth."

Seokjin, who still hadn't untangled himself from you, simply giggled. With his cheek remaining flush to yours, you could feel him grinning. He offered nothing whatsoever in his own defense, so Yoongi waved at you and turned to head off towards the restrooms.

You called out after him, prompting him to turn around. "What's so stupid about science?"

Yoongi's mouth stretched into a straight line across the entire bottom half of his face; his eyes narrowed to match. He heaved yet another sigh, gestured languidly to the half-cut fiancée clinging to you like a vest, and smirked, "He's convinced you hung the stars in the sky."

You would've melted into a puddle on the spot, but then Seokjin piped up and promptly shot your unsuspecting, lovestruck heart over the moon instead.

Abruptly changing the subject, he whispered — suddenly serious, as if it was the most important question in the world:

"Did you like the book, baby?"

[thebestestofbees]

I apologize I'm advance to whoever favorite holiday isnt Halloween.

Also this is kind of self indulgent

A smile graced your lips as you flipped your calender, the word 'October' making your eyes shine with glee.

You marked the first day and started to cackle to yourself, turning away from the calender and to your television, the very one that had transported Puppets to your realm of living and grabbed your remote.

Turning your TV on you flipped through the Playlist on YouTube and stopped on your favorite Halloween Playlist, blaring the Playlist through your speakers.

With a content smile, you dropped your remote in it's holder and left your room to the closet which opened for you.

You smiled and looked to your front door windows, to which purely black pupils stared at you in your windows. "Thank you, Home." You thanked while grabbing your Halloween decorations.

Home looked at you with a cheerful expression and creaked in a happy manner. It was almost creepy if you weren't used to your sentient house by now.

You took as many decorations as you could and made your way outside. You were almost saddend by how you couldn't decorate sooner as it is seen as too early from other people, but not to you though, it almost seemed to late if anything.

You spread out what you carried in your arms out onto your porch table. Since everyone was so busy with something they wouldn't tell you, you were going to have to set up alone.

None the matter, you've done it so many years prior you can do it now. Firstly you took the fake spiderwebs and stretched it out before placing them all over your porch and house.

Home creaked with confusion, staring as you stretched the fake spiderweb across your porch. "I'm setting up for Halloween." You say, hazardously pulling all your weight against the fabric of the false spiderweb.

Home seemed even more confused, so you told Home not to worry about it just yet as you grab black fake spiders from the pile of decorations.

After decorating the outside of your house with almost everything (all you really needed left were pumpkins for the outside), you went back inside to create a more fitting atmosphere.

You were glad you had already put up some fall themed candles for the season to set up the smell of it. You gathered the left over spiderwebs and placed them over your home, on the ceiling, in the corners and decorated the spiderwebs with fake black spiders.

As you were fixing the spiderwebs, you had bumped into Eddie, who seemed jumpier than usual. "Oh there you are, Neighbor, say do you need any errands you want me to run?" Eddie asked just as a black spider fell from the spiderweb it was in, taking some of the fabric with it, and falling right infront of yours and Eddie's faces, just dangling there, making Eddie nearly launch back with a scream.

You snorted and held back a laugh as Eddie clutched where his heart should have been and held his knee with the other hand. "Are you okay, Eddie?" You asked with a slight humorous undertone. Eddie brushed himself off.

"Y-yeah, I'm still not used to the colorless critters ya got here, what about my offer? Do ya need anything I can go get?" Suddenly you remembered the pumpkins you wanted to carve, from what you've gathered, this was the puppets first Halloween.

"Yeah, can you get me like ten pumpkins." You say, grabbing your wallet from the counter and taking out a wad of money.

"This should be enough to pay for all that an some extra if you want." You say, Eddie took the money from your hand and nodded before you asked.

"You do know what a pumpkin is right?" Eddie snapped his head up at you.

"Of course! One time Poppy dressed up as one last uhhh... never mind, I do know what it is, those big orange things that are a little heavy to carry, right?" You nodded slowly trying to understand what Eddie meant.

"Yeah I know what they are. Oh yeah and Sally told me to tell you to stay out of their room for a bit." Eddie pointed a finger to the guest room that now had a sign that read 'Y/N keep out!' In fancy letters with tiny stars around it, obviously Sally's handwriting.

"Will do, thank you Eddie." You say going back to decorating. "Thank you, Neighbor!" Eddie saluted as he left the house without another word, you smiled softly at the nickname.

Ever since you had met the puppets, the silly nickname just stuck. Personally you didn't mind it, it was more a preference than anything.

Once you were done with the spider webs you grabbed the skulls from your closet and cackled to yourself again.

Decorating every surface with the skulls, you finally turned the skulls on. Some of them were just candles and others just screamed at you when you got too close them, thanks again, Spirit Halloween!

You finally turned on your witches broom again, which was just a roomba with an old fashioned broom on top of it making it appear floating, and let it roam the house cleaning.

You added a ripped curtain for the hallways and the entrance to your kitchen and placed caution tape on doors.

You made the fairy lights around your house change from it's standard color to a blood red to match the ambience and finally you turned on your smoke boxes in every room, making the floor appear covered in smoke.

Once you were finally done, you stepped back infront of the front door to admire your work, a wicked grin forming on your face. Your house was ready for the Spooky season.

Suddenly a loud squawk rang through the house. Turns out, you forgot that one of your guest was a bit of a chicken.

You speed walked all the way over to the guest room where Poppy was, practically frozen in fear from every little thing that covered each wall. And Sally was beside her marveling at the sights.

"Now this is what I'm talking about Poppy! Besides the pleasant smell... is it the mailman who did this? He might know a thing or two about the Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief Making after all." Sally says, folding her arms as she marveled the decorations.

"I'm sorry, the what?? You know what nevermind, no I put them up." You proudly say before glancing back at the petrified Poppy. "My bad Poppy, I can tone it down if you want-" your gesture was immediately shut down by Sally, who jumped up and yelled,

"No! Uh, No. I'm sure Poppy will be able to handle this kind of petrifiable art! Don't apologize for this masterpiece neighbor! " Sally scolded as she moved out of the guest room too look at the rest of the decorated house.

Poppy cleared her throat and kept her head lowered nervously walking over to you. "Of course, I wouldn't want to stifle your creativity considering you have... a lot of it." You grabbed Poppy's shoulder and looked at her.

"Hey. You're not stifling nothing. if you don't like something I do creativily, just tell me. It won't have some life altering effect I swear." You patted Poppy on the shoulder as she gave a small nervous chuckled before she remembered something.

"Ah, speaking of Eddie, where is he?" Poppy asked. "He's getting pumpkins, I want to show you guys another holiday we have." Poppy tilted her head. "Oh? Does it have to do with the decorations?" You nodded before looking back inside the guest room where Howdy, Barnaby, and Wally resided doing something different.

Howdy was moving some props around, while Wally and Barnaby were stitching fabrics together, Wally had mostly reds, While Barnaby used a slightly darker color pallet than his vest.

"So wanna tell me what you are doing in there?" You asked, Poppy shook her head slowly. "Sorry dear, it's a surprise." Poppy says, you shrug. "Alright, I guess I can live with that. A surprise is a surprise. Who am I to ruin it." You say before helping Poppy walk through the fog filled house, Poppy jumping at every turn.

-------------

If you want a part two where they carve pumpkins you can tell me :3

[petitelepus]

Obanai and reader were on a mission together- then oh no! Obanai shrink to the size of a plushie! You bet I’m making fun of him non stop until I hand him over to Mitsuri! (Maybe add Tengen and Sanemi to further tease Obanai lol-)

Something short and sweet!

It wasn't often that you and Obanai teamed up together. Probably because the guy was pretty much the definition of an antisocial loner, but you didn't let it bother you or disturb your mission. You had a lead on Demon and you were quick to locate the damn Hell spawn's location.

The battle was fairly easy since you had a freaking Hashira with you but as the Serpent Hashira sliced the Demon's head clear off, it released this cloud of spores, just like you had seen some mushrooms do. It must have been the Demon's last desperate attempt to take you two down.

"Get away!" Obanai snapped and you immediately jumped back and used your uniform's sleeve to cover your mouth so you wouldn't breathe in the spores, but the Hashira was swallowed by the huge cloud.

"Obanai!" You called his name in worry but received no reply. You called his name again and finally, he answered, "I'm alright! Stay there!"

"Okay!" You nodded as you waited for the spores to disperse but when they did finally do that, you couldn't see your superior anywhere. It was like he had gone invisible or like Earth had swallowed him.

"Obanai, where are you-?"

"Down here…!"

"Huh?" You looked down and saw your superior glaring at you… Only he was tiny. You blinked, not really knowing how else to react before you snorted and burst out laughing.

"W- what happened!?" You asked between tummy-aching laughter, "Y- You're so small!"

"Shut up, it must have been that Demon's Blood Art…!" He grunted and you cackled but then you heard a hiss and looked up to see Kaburamaru, Obanai's snake companion glaring at you, no doubt for making fun of its friend.

"Sorry, sorry!" You apologized from the serpent and then looked at the Hashira, "Looks like the animals are immune to that Demon's spores."

Obanai was cursing under his breath, before focusing his glare on you, "Pick me up."

"Huh?" You couldn't believe what you heard. The man's glare on you hardened and he repeated himself, "I said, pick me up and take me to Butterfly Mansion. Shinobu might have a cure for this."

"As you say," You nodded as you tried your hardest to control your smile. You kneeled and carefully picked up the mini Hashira and his snake that nuzzled its snout against its friend. It was cute, how loyal Kaburamaru was even in this situation.

So you took the mini Hashira to the Butterfly Mansion where Shinobu was already waiting for you guys. Your Kasugai Crow must have gone before you and let the Insect Hashira know about her companion's situation.

You waited patiently and ate some Onigiries while Obanai was being studied. Kaburamaru was hanging with you and it was literally hanging around your neck while its friend was inspected.

"Sorry about this." You apologized to the white snake, "I kinda got your friend in trouble."

The snake flicked its forked tongue and you smiled, "Damn, it would be cool to have a friend like you."

The door next to you creaked open and Shinobu stepped outside, a small Obanai sitting in her arms. You got up on your feet, "Speaking of friends… What's the prediction miss?"

"Everything looked normal, other than Obanai's size. He shouldn't be in any life-threatening harm, but he can't go out on missions like this." The beautiful woman looked at the small male in her arms and then she looked at you, "The effects of the Blood Art should disappear with time. Until then, I need him to stay out of the field."

"I think I know just the right person to look after him." You smiled, but Obanai didn't return your smile, "I'm a grown man, I can take care of myself so stop talking like I'm some kid or invisible!"

"You don't look so grown to me." You chuckled and the man glared at you, but it was hard to take him seriously when he was so small and cute.

"I'll trust him to your care for now. I have patients that need my attention so if you don't mind…?" Shinobu asked and you took the hint and took Obanai into your arms, "Yes miss, do what you must."

"Make sure to come to check up when you have returned normal." The woman said before she turned and left.

You looked down at the Serpent Hashira and grinned, "Wow, you really got the short end of the stick in this situation."

"May I remind you that I turned this way because I was covering you?"

"And I am eternally grateful for that." And yet, you still had that shit-eating grin on your lips. Kaburamaru immediately went to snuggle its companion who petted the snake, "I'm alright, my friend, don't worry…"

"Where is he!?"

You and the Hashira both blinked as you heard a familiar female's voice shouting somewhere in the mansion, "I heard Obanai got hit during a mission!"

"Ah, looks like my crow made it." You hummed and the Serpent Hashira glared at you, "You didn't…!"

"I surely did." You grinned and just in time, Mitsuri, the Love Hashira popped out from around the corner and ran to you guys when she noticed you.

"Where is he, is he okay?" The pink-haired woman asked and you grinned as you raised the little man in your hands, "He is all fine and dandy."

"Oh, Obanai!" Mitsuri cried out as she grabbed him off your hands and hugged him, unintentionally burying the unlucky (Lucky?) Hashira into her bosom, "I'm so glad you are okay! I got so scared when I got the message from the crow!"

Obanai was blushing like crazy and you could almost see steam coming from his ears. You chuckled a little as you gently picked the snake around your shoulders and wrapped it around Mitsuri's neck. The snake immediately wrapped itself around the woman's neck and flicked its tongue at her. Kaburamaru really liked her, just like its companion did.

"Shinobu said that someone should look after him and keep him out of trouble. Do you think you could do that, Mitsuri?" You asked and the young woman smiled and nodded, "Yes! It would be my pleasure!"

Well, then there were three of you.

You opened your mouth, ready to wish Obanai some luck, but the man looked like he had almost passed out. Out of embarrassment or lack of proper air, you couldn't tell.

You chuckled and wished Mitsuri a good day as you turned and left the mansion. As soon as you stepped outside, your Kasugai Crow landed on your shoulder and you smiled at the bird, "Thank you for taking the message to Mitsuri, my dearest companion."

"Anything else you need, Slayer?" The crow asked and you grinned, "Yes, take a message to Sound and Wind Hashiras and tell them to meet me at the bar by the city. They are never going to guess what happened!"

[belladonna-bellatrix]

Jelly legs 🖤

Cinnamon and blueberries... Again

The bitter ache in my clit was almost as overbearing as the smell of spiced fruit flooding my nostrils.

Her hoodie covered my face, hiding hers from mine while she pistoned her strap in and out of my wet snatch. Darkness swallowed me just as deep as she made my pussy swallow her cock- I felt like fire was consuming me from my hips on up.

Cinnamon snapped across my butt with each thrust, and she was pressed so close over me to hold my hands down, that I could feel her heavy tits slapping my face through her hoodie. I couldn't even suck while she railed me.

Fucking torture.

"Any closer yet baby boy?" Her taunting was venom, but soaked with need. I could feel her strap twitch in my cunt each time its tip scrape across my g spot. She wasn't fooling me, the smartass was just as close as I was, but-

"Cuz, you're stil not cumming tonight if you if you can't cum on my cock. A deal's a deal."

I let out a groan, and she laughed.

"Tougher than you thought, huh? Don't worry, the ice cream'll go to my ass or something. So you'll have a lot more to play with next time you stay the night."

"W-wait! That wasn't part of the deal?!" The last of the lemon in the fridge was a secret, you'd buried it in the back so it wouldn't be noticed. How did she even know to-

"I'm laying the pipe, I makea da the rules." She said, in that stupid Luigi voice. You snorted, and panic set in deeper when you felt the ache in your core subside just a bit. You were close before, but now you definitely weren't gonna cum.

She was though, and you could feel her speeding up inside you as if she were already racing for the fridge. Her, "Fuck, fuck, fucks," came out in breathy whines as she rolled her hips into you again and again, focused just on finishing herself now that she knew she'd won. No room to even protest, since her tits were squashing your face now. It wasn't fair.

You felt her go stiff atop you after a second, her hips stopped and still flush against the back of your thighs- shaking, shuddering, as her climax ripped through her. Then, giggles.

"You fucking bitch, you-"

"D-don't care! Eating your ice cream n-now!" She tried to hop off of you, stuttering as she lifted her hips off her end of the toy, and leapt off the couch at the same time she let go of your hands. And before you could even get her hoodie off your head, you heard two thuds and a snort of laughter.

When you did get the hood off, you saw her; snorting and cackling in mixed embarrassment and playful frustration, struggling to make her legs lift her back off the ground.

More you say? 💜

[blueberrygiggles]

i love your smile, my dear

Fandom: Good Omens

Lee!Crowley and Ler!Aziraphale

a/n: dude i rewatched good omens for the millionth time and now i need to write about it. also i haven't read the book, so this is the tv show canon! this can be read as platonic or romantic.

ao3 mirror: XX

Crowley, when he could, enjoyed visiting the bookshop. It was peaceful, it was quiet, and most importantly it had decent company.

Aziraphale was almost always there when he visited, either reorganizing the books, taking notes, translating a book, or even on the rare occasion, seeing a customer who wished to sell their book to the shop.

Sometimes they didn't talk, other times they say together shared a few drinks, they've even tried to watch human tv shows. Anything Crowley could do to get his mind of whatever he was despairing over, they could do.

This time, however, he was sitting on the couch in the back room, his legs resting over Aziraphale's lap while the other rested a book on his legs. Crowley listened to his music, some of his favorite Queen songs while his companion read. It was peaceful in a way most demons didn't get to live through. And he loved it.

He couldn't tell how long they had been there, Crowley wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep. He didn't want to check the time, nor did he need too. He craned his neck slightly to peak at Aziraphale, he has a small smile on his face, he had yet to brung it up, but he loves the stubble Aziraphale had started to grow.

Crowley leaned back down, content to take a nap while listening to the record in the background, the rustle of paper whenever Aziraphale turned a page, but he flinched.

He felt his lips curl, his stomach grew warm, and a flush traveled to his neck. He felt a tickle.

Nails were gliding up and down his thigh, slow and light. A giggle rose to his throat but he swallowed it down.

Aziraphale likely didn't know he was fidgeting, but Crowley sure did. He couldn't bring himself to let himself react to any of the tickles lest he interrupt his reading.

His hand went lower towards his knees, Crowley slapped his fist over his mouth to keep the laugh in. Aziraphale stopped his ministrations.

"Everything alright?"

Crowley gulped, "Yes, why?"

He shrugged, "Just wondering why you jumped?"

"Chills, Angel." He said.

Aziraphale took the answer and refocused on his book. Crowley was given several minutes of reprieve before he felt the same hands back on his knee.

A giggle escaped him before he could force it back down, he thought he could keep his composure, but the squeezing, broke him down bit by bit until he couldn't hold back the snort.

"Angehehehel?"

No response, but the squeezing got faster, Crowley covered his face with the crook of his arm.

"Azihihirahaphahahale! Stahahap!"

Aziraphale closed his book, turning to face him while moving his hands up to squeeze his thighs, "Stop what, Crowley? You look a bit giggly, is something funny?"

Crowley cackled, he let his arms cover his face to hide his smile. He couldn't make out a plea let alone a full sentence.

He could barely keep the smile off his face, "You know, if you told me what was so funny, I could help."

Of course that bastard knew what he was doing.

Crowley growled through his laughs, "Yohohou assshohoholehe!"

No response from Aziraphale, he just kept tickling his thighs, each second that passed the smile grew bigger in his face. Crowley turned his face into the couch pillow, Aziraphale tsked.

"You know I love your smile, my dear."

He could feel his face warm with a flush, his senses were in fire, but he couldn't bring himself to make Aziraphale stop, not when it was kind of fun.

A lot of fun.

Whatever, he wouldn't admit that, but he was content to not tell him to stop.