#i could put more but im too lazy
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"you can't hear pictures!"
rhythm heaven:
#i could put more but im too lazy#literally put an image of any rhythm game and i could hear it#monkey watch#ringside#flockstep#love rap#shrimp shuffle#remix 10 wii#dj school#lockstep#the bon odori#night walk#rhythm heaven#rhythm heaven ds#rhythm tengoku
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2015->2023
It gets better
#was looking at old photos and put these side by side. wow#in the first pic i was miserable malnourished and so depressed i didnt think id make it to 2016#the second pic was a few months ago in too lazy to take w newer one today lol#im still depressed but not like i was. ive come so far and its so hard to see it from day to day sometimes#i never thought id live long enough to go on hrt. top surgery felt completely impossible#but i got to live#i got to transition#i wish i could go back and show that scared kid how far we've come#idk these pics just had me feeling really sappy#maybe one day ill make a more intentional transition timeline post#but these photos really show a lot#transgender love transgender peace transgender joy#it gets better i promise#sounds fake and shallow but it's so fucking true
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missing venti hours
#i am having thoughts . but i am not too confident to make them their own posts#mmmost notably#about how nice of a thought it is — to imagine a bard that ven can get to hold again. to hear again#but . the idea that in canon . the best he could do to replicate that feeling is either holding himself and pressing softly or perhaps#gathering a long pillow in his arms and pretending#because mortals do not last long (not without consequence). and as said so much — time is merciless. it matters not how the clock ticks away#for you. whether it be by seconds or minutes. hours or years. it marches along regardless of anyone’s feelings to it#and you have to grasp at what lingers in between : the bonds that you make . the joy and sorrow . the laughing and silence#and you have to hold them close close close. to preserve them for another day#there is no getting back what was lost#but that’s a bit too bittersweet so anyways#first and foremost ven is a nuisance and we love him for that#secondly and much more importantly than the first point is that ven is full of love and care that it surprises me how it does not burst out#from him. ven puts others before himself A LOT. he wants everyone to be able to live peacefully. happily#to find that they can live another day with a smile#and if that means assuring them of what’s to come. or offering them a shoulder to cry on. or making a fool of himself#then by the heavens himself will he sign up for the task#he is not !!! a lazy archon i refuse this notion#he cares deeply for his people !!! he watches and he will help if they stumble and will back away when they wish to walk forwards on their#own !! and they will make mistakes and they will learn from them and he will be there …!!!!! to see them grow !!!!!#besides mondstadt doesn’t particularly ?? seem like they want a god to truly rule over them . tbh#and this is disregarding the fact that mond . fucking killed their first god . ven is not going to risk that ???#so what use would it be — to start randomly showing up as a god and guiding them that way ?? that would be pressuring !!#does this . am i making sense . im very tired#it’s 2am#lantern says stuff
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AN HOURRRRR ... A WHOLE HOUR OF PAINTING.... i think i'm getting faster tbh but goddamn these take AGES to do 😭😭
#I STILL REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING#i need to go find youtube videos about like. how to paint or smth fdsjkl#i am just kind of trying to put down shading and highlights where they might go with like. the shapes of things .....?????#and i assume thats... most of what would be needed? but i feel like theres gotta be more to it than just that LOL#but also. i'm lazy. and love to just experiment and fuck around and figure it out by myself fjsjfdkl#once again i get so caught up in doing art that i forget to make myself a bowl of ice cream and then when i remember its too late 😔#technically i could just go get some but fdsjkl i dont like having it after 10pm for some reason#ANYWAYS. YAYYY ART I LOVE ART#dandy.cmd#doodlebug.jpeg
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day 26: faith
#ffxiv#miqomarch#miqo'te#seeker of the sun#gpose#oc: m'seyli#im too lazy to put more effort into this today#i COULD have done something fun with aglaia and azeyma/rhaglr but i didn't want to do the wholeeee raid to gpose after#yoship explorer mode alliance raids when
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...
#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
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Ok so a long while back I had a story with a trio of main characters who each represented a core aspect of the world they were trying to protect: the natural, the technological, and the magical (a human, a sentient AI, and a shapeshifter witch)
and then a few years later I made a sequel to it with a new trio and somehow by complete accident made them represent the same things as the first trio except this time combined with elements of another aspect (a human who finds out he's more magical than he expected (he's a demigod), a shapeshifter being who relies on tech for communication and accessibility (he can only turn into a few things and none of them are very expressive or mobile), and a sentient android that looks so human almost nobody can tell he's not (even his best friends))
and the whole point of the first story was those initial three protecting their world from people who wanted to separate or eliminate one of the three elements (trying to get rid of magic and technology altogether), and the reason why i wrote the second story was to write something a few decades into the future showing the impact those first characters had in bringing those elements together. and i accidentally put the perfect themes into the new main trio
#we've also introjected both of these trios!#the entire reason their themes were an accident is bc both of these stories started out as FANFICTION#but i got so obsessed with it i was like 'im making this au into its own thing' so now it's original#completely forgot about this but one of the original trio is actually also a fanfic character LMAO#i just picked him up out of his au and put him in a new world that fit him better and he is no longer an au of that guy#these are the guys from Mara aka one of the biggest worlds we have in headspace/paracosm#most of them are superheroes or similar professions#and then we have a threequel which is another au we're still working on making original but that one's more complicated and different#it's two superhero factions fighting over who gets to have control over a big city#the first one is called Nightfall- i have a giant playlist for it on spotify that i think i made on youtube as well#and it's a faction of the first superheroes ever trying to unravel a missing persons case and fight an anti-magic-and-tech mafia#and then Daybreak (also with a playlist) takes place 30 years later when superheroes are more common and no longer government controlled#and it's three teens who turn 18 and find out the building they live in is the base for a superhero agency#they live there bc their family members are superheroes (but they had no idea)#and they get recruited when they're old enough and get thrown into solving a murder case (that's a bit too close to home)#the third one is Eclipse and it's the two factions fighting over their city (no playlist yet I'm lazy) this one is more fun drama#i also have one brewing in the background of our brain that could be like. a more younger demographic spinoff#of a group of kids whose parents are heroes so they all do hero stuff too (in secret!) but like. kid hero stuff. no real peril here#we've been writing this world for like 8 years now we're Obsessed with it#it's one of the few paracosm storylines we actually plan to properly publish someday
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there are many benefits to knowing basic html cod- oh god oh fuck
#yeah i'll put this here instead of on main cause why not#i'd already blocked the clown everyone's talking about so when i saw people saying you could replace the image i was 'oh man now i cant :('#but it turns out there was ANOTHER THING that didnt get blocked for some reason. but anyways i tested it and ahkjhsdkjSDKHH#I DIDNT INTEND FOR LEN TO BE HUGE???? WTF MAN im sure i could fix it if i really wanted but ehh lazy#sent that element to the void anyways so no more doing that now. bye giant chibi len#since it toggles a different theme when you click on it i tried seeing if i could make it more len-themed too#i managed to change the background but i couldn't change the upper bar thing color?? 😭😭 so i just gave up lol#i coulda probably done that if i put more time into properly seeing shit but also i literally just woke up im tired man
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i once wrote notes based on hello kitty's furry tale theatre cartoon (fragaria memories ofc because this is my current fixation aha haha)
i tried formatting this appropriately so itll be easy to read but I gave up at the point of character profiles
(I wanted to write something that is at least based on Hello Kitty’s Furry Tale Theater(?)) (Hallritt, Merold, and Tuxam appearances) (That also means making characters based on Catnip, Grinder, Mowzer, and Fangora) (Other than obviously featuring a play of sorts, what will the overall plot will be(?)) (I kinda want to introduce the idea of Merold and Tuxam knowing each other) (Because I like the idea that both are senior knights of their respective bouquets and may have met each other, even if it was once) (And also the idea of retired knights of Fragaria, or at least the knights before our current cast) (Hello Kitty's knight before Hallritt(?)) (Tuxam who visited with his lord because Tuxedo Sam wanted to visit the Orchid Theatre)
(Plot Synopsis): In celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the Orchid Theatre, Hallritt, Merold, and Tuxam visit the Theatre with their lords but are caught in a mysterious case of incidents where members of Hello Kitty’s Men wound up with mysterious injuries.
Nica (Lord: Catnip) - “So, what if you’re an amateur? With enough passion and drive,—we can start from somewhere. But don’t think this excuses you from essential training.” A hot-headed person with incredible drive and passion. They’re a bit foul-mouthed and strict with themselves and others. Somewhat older than Merold, Hallritt, and Tuxam (around their late 20s or early 30s(?)). Considered a talented actor. (Orchestrated from their hometown, but was saved by Catnip(?)) (Feels incredibly indebted to the troupe and their lord) (Someone with a “let’s get it over with” attitude and has an ego where they know they’re perfect, so it won’t be lazy or with poor taste at all(?)) “I trust myself that I can deliver a satisfactory performance. But it won’t be just satisfactory—it will be beautiful and mesmerizing!”
Anfora (Lord: Fangora) - “Everyone bothers me about retirement this… retirement that…! No. I’ve decided that my fate is to die here.” A senior member of the troupe who had been around before Oz was made the current troupe master. (The current personality trait I have is: yapper) (like if I wrote it down, it could be summarized as yapper) (Still acts and helps behind the scenes) (May also help and advise with/for Oz) (Considered dependable and someone who is also just as passionate about the Orchid Theatre and for the troupe)
Rin (Lord: Grinder) - "Heheh… Look right here! Funny, right? No? Guess I shoulda let the script to ol' Oz…" A jack-of-all-trades when it comes to instrumentals, Rin is a prankster who tries to lighten the mood and make everyone laugh. Rowdy, but has a heart of gold. (Someone who would stop immediately if the prank seems to become too severe(?)) (I feel like out of everyone in the Orchid Theatre, Rin is the most normal and average guy in the troupe and everyone could be said as insane) A little bit older than everyone else, but closer in age to Merold, Tuxam, and Hallritt. (I want him to be a himbo or at least akin to one(?)) (Originally his family pushed for him to become a knight but Rin desired to become an actor) (Still follows the same training regiment that is somewhat modified from his days of training to be a knight)
Oz (Lord: Mowzer) - “I think… Each life serves a singular purpose, and mine is to write. I will do it. No matter how insane I become, or if I forget my humanity. It has been decided.” Troupe Master of Hello Kitty's Men. Oz leans on the more quiet side and has an illicit passion for the stage. Makes his contributions by writing scripts and helps when it comes to directing. He isn't much of an actor and mainly focuses from behind the scenes.
Oz - “We have all resigned ourselves to continue performing even in the face of death.” Oz - “So why worry about us?” “Merely—If the chance allows, we’d sing and dance on the stage even after death.” Oz - “As your lords mean everything, the performance is our life and everything.” Oz - “‘In your hands, it will be brilliant.’ Call it what it is… I simply laugh in joy. I would hear those many—no, an infinite amount of times! It could never grow old!” Oz - “That is how we all feel.” “Be it because of ego or to make someone in the audience moved.” Oz - "It is an art form I am proud of…"
and from this moment forward, idea hailstorm will occur </3
“i am so pathetic for this character” and you turn around to see its tuxam from fragaria memories
(Taking place in the Orchid Theatre that is currently occupied by the playing company, Hello Kitty’s Men(?))
(Hallritt has been tasked to guard the theatre for the night and his lord, Hello Kitty will attend to watch the play)
(The 1000th Anniversary of the Orchid Theatre(?))
(Merold and Tuxam appearances)
(History of the Orchid Theatre and the playing company)
(Either shenanigans happen—Hallritt, Merold, and Tuxam become actors)
(SEEDs issue happens(?))
(A member of the troupe is possessed by a SEED and attempts to sabotage the play(?))
(As the Orchid Theatre’s Millennium Anniversary approaches, members of the troupe are injured through things like a falling stage light or rubbish falling on top of them)
(This is overlooked because of the preparations for the Orchid Theatre’s Anniversary but it is suspected to be intentional)
(Rather than a random person, I think it would be more impactful to explore an already written character(?))
(I think Nica might fit the role better(?))
(Still troubled by her past and believes everyone is out to get her(?))
(I wanted the idea that the SEED elevates her emotions to a high degree, especially since it has possessed her for days)
Nica - “Everyone… Everyone is out to get me. I know how they look at me.” “No matter what I do, I’m just despicable and easily hatable.”
Nica - “So to protect myself… I have to hurt others.”
(Nica who doesn’t remember when a SEED possessed her, but starts to receive headaches) (She ignores this in order to prepare for the Millennium Anniversary)
(Possibly gaps within her memory during the sabotages(?))
(Do you think people can semi-transform into SEEDs(?))
(Imagine being semi-transformed into a SEED and the SEED half of you attacks people while you desperately cry trying to stop yourself but it does nothing)
(These negative emotions only amplify the SEED, and the answer is either having someone remove the SEEd from your body, dying, or abandoning emotion)
Nica - “Everyone looks down on me. Everyone hates me.”
Nica - “They…They—Who even tolerates me… at this point?” “Am I even likable? What does everyone think of me…?”
Nica - “It is quite natural, yes?” “Everything I do… Is to protect myself.”
(Is it dormancy that completely stops the takeover of a SEED, or does the dormancy simply mean a void that the SEED can take over(?)) (Is nothingness a negativity(?))
Nica - “This life is solely for the stage.” “If I have to die, I hope it will be a thrilling act.”
(The SEED feeds into Nica’s intrusive thoughts which leads to hurting her fellow actors) (Albeit, discreetly)
(When Hallritt arrives, Oz does intend to inform him because his hands are busy and gives permission to search the premise of Orchid Theatre)
(Both Tuxam and Merold join along)
(I imagine it isn’t until he last moment everyone realizes that Nica is behind the attacks and confront her about it)
(From this point, they don’t have a motivation as to why)
(I kinda want Nica to lunge the nearest person, that being Merold, with a weapon but Hallritt moves aside and gets stabbed himself)
(And then Nica is semi-transformed into a SEED)
woah!! character dynamics and how i imagined them
(Character Dynamics or How I Imagine Them(?)) -
Hallritt and Merold - Hallritt who wants to get close and Merold who doesn’t want to.
(Merold is willing to cooperate with Hallritt if the situation deems necessary but only tolerates him)
Merold - “As your senior, won’t you do something for me—Hallritt?”
Hallritt - “Sure! Whatever do you need?”
(Hallritt who wants to get along with Merold and willing to do almost anything)
Tuxam - “HALT! This is an abuse of hierarchy, Merold…!”
(I feel like Merold would be the type to make bad excuses to get Hallritt away from him(?))
Merold - “It’d be bad if the theatre wasn’t surrounded by rubble… Oh, Hallritt! Why don’t you go over there and clean.”
Hallritt - “I suppose it would be bad. Yes! I’ll go over there!”
Tuxam - “For once, that is true… Merold. You’re coming with. Don’t think you can get away with a bad excuse.”
Merold - “(Sigh). Yeah. Yeah.”
Hallritt and Tuxam - Tuxam who is willing to be dependable and help Hallritt as a senior Knight of Fragaria! He’s more helpful than Merold, but still nagging. Tuxam also helps Hallritt avoid Merold’s plots.
Tuxam - “So… About our lords.”
(Tuxam who tries not being obvious about wanting their lords to meet each other) (Hallritt thinks he’s planning something and it’s obvious that Tuxam trying not to be obvious is being obvious) (Kind, but still nagging)
Merold and Tuxam - Knighted around the same time, they’ve met before when visiting the Orchid Theatre years ago.
(I imagine Merold as someone who frequently teases Tuxam)
(Someone who Merold is comfortable having deep conversations with or reminiscing about the past(?))
Tuxam - “You’re impossible, Merold.”
Merold - “And you’re a riot, Tuxam.”
(If I have to describe Merold on how I write him, I would say its like a love child between how I think Hangyon and Pikero talk) (But Merold has more Hangyon genetics than Pikero’s)
(I should probably elaborate on how I think Merold talks) (But with a flair of arrogance(?))
(I feel like Merold would be the type to bend down to his knees just to annoy Tuxam)
(Would sorta rest himself on Tuxam as well(?)) (Like sorta leaning onto him and resting his elbow on his head sorta rest)
(I mentioned before, but I wanted to write or mention about Hello Kitty’s previous knight who I’ll dub as “Elliot”)
(To give backstory)
(Elliot, Tuxam, and Merold who visited the Orchid Theatre in a similar situation of celebrating the Orchid Theatre’s 995th Anniversary(?)) (I should probably write a little bit more than that or at least brainstorm it)
(Would 5 years be considered a long time(?))
(The Orchid Theatre having connections with the Hello Kitty Kingdom, MyMelody Kingdom, and Tuxedo sam Kingdom)
(Every 5 - 10 years the lords will come and visit the theatre yet again(?))
(I won’t lie I’ve always been picky about the names I give to characters) (Is “Elliot” too basic???) (I found an anagram maker and put "Hello Kitty" in it and saw Elliot)
Tuxam - “You’re like a bad dream—no…! ! The reminder of the reality (Hangyon and Pikero) I already face!”
Merold - “Wow~ That hurt y’know? I can’t believe Tuxam was capable of being rude.”
Merold - “Did he even grow to become a gentleman at all…?”
Tuxam - “H—Huh…! But I am a gentleman to my very core…?!” “At least I believe so?”
Merold - “Support me, will you?”
Tuxam - “Naturally. Let us eliminate the SEED.”
(Merold who solely focuses on attacking the SEED)
(Tuxam who attempts to multitask helping Merold and keeping surrounding damage to a minimum)
Merold - “Tuxam~ You know trying to keep the theatre from being destroyed is basically impossible!”
Tuxam - “Why not think about the people who’ll have to patch up the theatre…!”
(Possible Story Outline or Events I Want(?)) -
(I want the scenario to reveal Nica as the culprit in a brief flashback but without the context at this point of the story)
(Hallritt is called out by Merold, who snaps him from his daze) (Introduction of the Orchid Theatre)
(If not, I want a dream sequence where Hallritt overhears a few vague words before realizing a sharp pain in his shoulder and a knife has been plunged in that location)
(Hallritt wakes up, and sequence ends where we arrive at the Orchid Theatre)
(I’m unsure if it’ll be effective to a viewer, but it’s a outline so it can be removed whenever)
(Hallritt and Merold with their lords, who have just arrived to the location)
(They’re waiting for someone else, this cues Tuxam’s arrival with his lord)
(Brief mention of the history of the Orchid Theatre, I imagine Oz takes them around a tour of the theatre itself(?))
(Mostly for Hallritt)
(Shenanigans ensue, the event will be highly guarded with the presence of 3 lords in the same location) (There’s already guards around the premise, mainly on standby)
(When given the chance, Oz will find a discreet location and inform about reoccurring incidents of actors or members of the troupe getting mysterious hurt(?)) (Because of the upcoming 1000th Anniversary of the Orchid Theatre, there wasn’t time to properly investigate this(?))
(I imagine since the introduction of Oz, you can tell something is up but unsure(?))
(Merold overhears this and joins Hallritt for investigations, Tuxam joins but only because he was about to scold Merold for eavesdropping)
(I personally feel like it’ll be more effective if the audience already knows the culprit and it has to take the characters to realize(?)) (I want it to be more rewarding rather than beating around the bush too much(?))
(I do want this to be time to flesh out new characters as well before the final happens)
(Oz will be approached to start off the mission)
(Rin will be approached to know more about the building plan of the Orchid Theatre)
(Anfora will be approached to understand possible motivation and being a senior member—will share her past experiences)
(Nica will be approached to better understand the play and her character(?)) (Considered talented as an actor) (<—I probably need to think about this a bit more)
Merold - “I can’t imagine you doing anything discreetly.”
Rin - “HaHa! Same!”
(During the final confrontation, Nica lunges Merold with a weapon but Hallritt gets in front of Merold to protect him)
(Hallritt ends up getting stabbed)
(I feel like Merold would feel offended yet somewhat thankful for Hallritt)
Merold - “YOU. BIG IDIOT.”
Merold - “Do you not understand the title ‘Strongest Knight?’”
(What if final confrontation is done on the Orchid Theatre’s stage and it is a big reveal)
(Merold - “What are you?”)
(Hallritt - “…An idiot sandwich.”)
you know i would compile these notes properly and summarize them but when you’re in a bad mental state and listening to revolutionary girl utena all duel songs can you really?
earth as a character gallery is a banger
allegory allegorier allegoriest
the black rose songs are the best frfr
maybe i should make revolutionary girl utena inspired lyrics for fragaria memories
that honestly sounds fun if i can commit to it
WAIT I CAN MAKE ACE ATTORNEY REFERENCES
BUT I HAVENT SEEN IT IN FOREVER WAAAAAAAHHHH
(Outdated grandiose that makes the old appear new)
(Aged like fine wine) (Apple motifs)
(Operates as mainly a stage for performers, but has been modified to be used as a cinema(?)) (both on a stage and has a projector or screen for cinema usage(?))
(i imagine the cinema itself is open at least 2 - 3 times a week and the rest of the days is for the performers of the Orchid Theatre to practice their craft for the next big play(?))
(Beautifully elaborate, has Hello Kitty motifs)
(Also contains Mowzer, Catnip, Fangora, and Grinder motifs of course(?))
(Rather than Mowzer, Catnip, Fangora, and Grinder being lords like Hello Kitty and the others) (I rather have them be historical figures that aren’t around today(?))
(It’s said in lore that the lords somehow ascending into the world of Fragria, so I kinda want the opposite of the 4 coming back to their world instead of death)
(Considered figures that represent the spirit of acting(?))
(Similar to the greek muses of comedy and tragedy) (the smiling and frowning masks i mean) (imagine their faces plastered as masks similar to the theatre masks(?)) (like what im saying is a comedy mask with characteristics similar to catnip or grinder(?))
(i should really learn a little bit about theatres… i have somewhat relied on wikipedia but that can only go so far)
i did try writing a fragraia memories revolutionary girl utena song but I don't really know if its really fragmem? Spirit circuit—illusionary deficient, a cruel hook dangles the prey midair Lo’! — Awake from dream. the hook, fish, or the fisherman? Sealed, Spilled, Anchored. Forbidden life’s mead bleeds. Forbidden landscapes defy the unreal. Naturality pacifies and requites the unnatural. Beloved, Unreal Realness. Are you surprised? It’s a big mistake to think you’re the only one who can turn into a car. I’m a car now too!
i promise the last line is real just look up revolutionary girl utena car scene
#fragmem#preferably i would put this in the fragaria memories tag but its so messy and I can feel the floor just by looking at this#what do i mean? the cold pavement as I lie groaning and closely dead#hallritt#merold#tuxam#i honestly wanted to write something based on hello kitty's furry tale theater because it means a lot of me#but then i also wanted to experiment on the possibilities of what a SEED could do#maybe im overflating this because all i do is writing scripts rather than a traditional format but I've been thinking about the setting#how would it look like(?)#but at the same time i cant tell if I'm too depressed to write or lazy#oh well!#merold who coaxs hallritt to do something and tuxam who tries to stop this abuse of power#rin who bothers merold and pathetically tries to jumpscare everyone#anfora yaps#i feel like nica and oz are the people to do long speeches and also yaps#anfora is a girl's girl if you get me... that will still remain because women are pretty cool#nica abolishes gender#oz exists and looks a bit dead in thought as he daydreams something dumb (affectionately)#rin loves everyone#time to post and release this burden of thought from the skin and relish that my blood will be clean once more o7
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not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol
#purrs#it is normal obviously. but it’s SO fucking frustrating like omfg the amount of time i lose every single month to being in pain like this#FOR NO REASON and like half the global population has to deal w that and it’s like it’s nothing. idk. despair and suffering and misery#delete later#menstruation tw#the thing that really gets me abt it is how my mom (ik i said i would stop complaining abt her on here but we have been fighting all month#LOL so im giving myself permission) gets so fucking pissed at me and my sister when we’re in too much pain to do chores bc she thinks we’re#being lazy / making excuses and then she compares us to o it brother like.. omg um YOU should know how painful this can be first of all and#second of all why would you even make that comparison when he doesn’t lose a third of his life to his body trying to tear itself apart! lol!#and yes i could work from home or calll out sick but consider: i am mentally illabout not being at work. which * is gonna be on my ass abt w#when they hear me say that bc i know im gonna make a whole awkward big deal abt my heating pad. UGHHHHH embarrassing lmaooooo#like why do people have REGULAR B*DILY F*NCTIONS!!!!! REGULAR!!!!!!! that REGULARLY put them in this amount of pain and we have to just deal#with that like it’s nothing and be discreet about and whatever. ew i sound like um… someone who cares too much abt stuff like this lol but I#im so mad abt it rn like oh my GOD can the pain just not be part of it can we just evolve to get rid of that or put structures in place in a#society for ppl to be more accepting / supporting / whatever of it. please please please please please#(also goes for more than just p*riods btw. like imagine if as a society we had things in place for ppl who are regularly in#chronic pain of any kind 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 what a world that would be 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 wow i sure hope it happens in my lifetime 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍)
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celebrating the first few hours of wire day the only way i know how.....with crippling, panic-inducing insomnia
#pleaseeeeeeeee i want to be asleep#but instead im half sweating in my room and my eyes arent even tired anymore and my nose is stuffy so im scared of getting sick#and every time i roll to my other side the stuffiness changes position#i KNEW i should've done neti pot earlier but i was too lazy and now look#worst part about being awake this soon is that i dont know i will fall asleep again#which puts the sleeplessness factor way too high. like i could only get three hours of sleep and i work till 7pm on mondays#if i hadn’t woken up until 3 or 4am i wouldve known id at least have had some sleep#but there's no guarantee i WILL sleep more and that makes me more anxious#which makes it harder to sleep
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Attacks i did so far!!
-@lesbiandardevil
-spacecataclysm
-SoftxBat
-Scribble_monster2
-Swiss
-@levlingstrs
-ViCTsTeR
-@fuj0wuj0
Hiii follow me there https://artfight.net/~Cyellolemon i can't wait already!! :3
#i know it's a lot already but i swear my wrist is ok for now!!!!!#i do these quickly tho.. i wish i could put more effort into them but health first sry </3#i'm still happy with them so far!! i will be rly self indulgent this year and test stuff ect#i miss drawing my ocs already actually but since i can't draw too much i want to focus on artfight.. it's just 1 month a year </3#also i hope the people i tagged don't mind the tag#idk if i'll post every attacks i'll make idk i'll see.. im often lazy#anyway come on fight me and if my body allows me i'll try to fight back :3#my art
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pheromone perfume
pairing: jj maybank x reader
request: Could you write about that one perfume that’s making all men go crazy over their girls, like all clingy but with jj? Thank you (if not that’s fine sorry) 💕
a/n: thank you for the request @m3ntally-unstable! so sorry it took me so long to write! hope you enjoy it! and if any of yall find any typos or smth then let me know im too lazy to proofread lol
summary: you accidentally buy a pheromone perfume and JJ can't keep his hands off of you
warnings: none i think
wc: 0.9k
It was a total accident. You didn’t realise at the time of purchasing that you had bought a pheromone perfume. It smelled good and that’s why you bought it, not paying much attention to the label on the bottle. It was not very strong but it smelled sweet and fresh. Only when JJ started acting weirder than normal did you start to suspect that your new perfume might be the cause.
When it first happened you were in the kitchen making yourself a sandwich and JJ came to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled his glass to the brim with cold water, chugging it afterwards.
“Can you make me one too? Pretty please.” he asks, looking over to where you’re assembling your mid-day snack with his puppy-dog eyes.
“Sure.” You happily oblige. You’re making yourself one anyway, might as well make two. It’s not a problem.
“Thank you.” He kisses you on the cheek and intends to turn to leave and go back to the living room but something stops him in his tracks. You smell different.
He doesn’t understand it at first. You always smell good, good enough to bite. But this is different. He leans in closer, his nose almost touching your neck, and takes a deep whiff.
“What the hell are you doing?”
JJ almost doesn’t register what you had just asked him. His mind is in a whirlwind and his mind is foggy, the only thought in his head is that he needs to be closer to you. He needs to touch you.
“You smell so good.” He stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, face pressed to the crook of your neck.
“JJ.”
“Hmm?” He presses small kisses to your neck, behind your ear, on your jaw. He’s so enamoured he can’t get enough of this new scent of yours. It smells like you always do, except somehow stronger and even better. It has enhanced your smell and it’s addicting.
“Are you okay?” The sandwich-making is on pause for the moment and you put down the knife in your hand.
“Mhm.” His mind barely forms any other thoughts than you.
You turn around in his arms and he lifts his head from your neck and meets your eye. He doesn’t waste a second to kiss you. You melt into his touch and let yourself enjoy the moment for a second.
His big hands snake behind your thighs and he lifts you on the kitchen counter, stepping between your parted legs. He breaks your kiss just to move back down to your neck and press even more kisses there, not so secretly smelling you again.
“JJ,” you pant.
He just grunts in response.
“If you want a sandwich you’re gonna have to take your hands off of me for a sec.”
“Fuck the sandwich.”
For the rest of the day he’s unable to keep his hands to himself. He’s constantly touching you, following you around like a dog. He’s being clingier than normal but you don’t give it that much thought at the moment. Maybe he’s just really into your new perfume.
Later you start to think that it’s kind of weird that the day you buy a new perfume he can’t stop touching you. You then intentionally don’t wear the perfume for the next couple of days, instead spraying on your old ones that you’re still so fond of. And even though JJ likes those too, has expressed it many times in the past, he’s not as clingy anymore. Of course, he’s touchy and affectionate like he usually is but not to that extreme degree.
So you put the new perfume on a few days later to test your working theory and JJ’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame. It’s like he smelled it from miles away because as soon as he’s at your place he’s almost climbing you like a tree. You called him over for a movie night and you’re on the couch together. Usually you lean against JJ or he has his arm wrapped around you or you’re laying on his chest. But this time JJ is literally smothering you. He’s laying on top of you and his head is resting on your collarbone. Occasionally he presses a light kiss there or on your neck.
“JJ, I need to go pee.” He groans at that. “Can’t you just hold it?” he mutters into your skin.
“That’s not how it works, JJ. Please let me get up.”
He reluctantly rolls off of you, a mopey look on his face. “Can I come with you?”
You’re confused. “Come with me? To pee? Why?”
He shrugs. “Just because.”
“It’ll take two seconds. I’ll be back before you know it.” JJ throws his head back and lets out another groan.
You go to the bathroom, do your business, and just before your hand grabs the door knob you eye the perfume from the corner of your eye, sitting on the bathroom shelf. It makes you wonder. Maybe it really is the perfume. You pick it up and for the first time actually read the label on it. “Pheromone perfume,” you mutter to yourself and then scoff. It’s almost funny.
You return to the living room where JJ has been impatiently waiting for the last few minutes. “Took you long enough. Back to your spot, princess.”
You lay back down and he lies on you once again, but not before pressing a small peck to your lips.
Safe to say you’ll be using your new perfume more often.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank obx#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank x you#jj maybank outer banks#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank blurb#outer banks#obx
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...
#people get very confused when i say im trying to learn german#i feel like the common response is a hesitant: oh... r u interested in ww2 stuff?#and im like... r u asking if im learning german so i can like read 1st hand accounts from the naz1s????#bc that is the big german thing ppl kno. but no. thats not y i wanna learn german#my family is just extremely german but in a way thats so Americanized that we dont pronounce our last name correctly#and im the only one now how knows how to do that. so its like. this is the language of my ancestors#and a lot of labs in Germany r doing research im interested in so if i got good enough in the next 5 or 6 years i could do a post doc in#germany so it would b good to speak the language. and also i think its weird that ppl call it a harsh sounding language#bc idk it sounds sorta gutteral but no more or less harsh than any other imo#idk thats my new years resolution i guess. get a lot better at german. expand my lil vocabulary#aber ich bin zu krank und müde :-[ und mein deutsch ist kaputt und hässlich#gebrochen is probably the better broken but whatever#did i put and ist in there? im too lazy to check#whatever. im gonna try to buy a staple gun tomorrow so thats fun#unrelated
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— cowboy hat rule.
pairing: cowboy!steve harrington x fem!reader
warnings: smut, p in v, MINORS DNI!!!!, pet names, praising, kinda degrading but not really, a lil argument, dom!steve, rivals to fcking, swearing, good old bj for our good boy stevie! reader has a nickname 'sunshine' bc i didn't wanna do y/n sorry:(
summary: helping out mr. harrington in his ranch was supposed to be fun, but steve harrington was an asshole. an absolute pain in your ass that teased you, and you gave him the same energy back, always. so when you unknowingly wear his cowboy hat, he decides to teach you what exactly the cowboy hat rule is. (wc: 5k+)
author's note: this is just horny babbling. i have no idea how cowboy lore works so if im wrong pls just close ur eyes i tried to research but i couldnt find shit just pls i just want cowboy steve dick. and ofc no proof-reading bc im lazy as hell. no dividers ugly aesthetic bc of tumblrs f ass not showing my shit in tags SIGH.
also PLSSS LIKE + REBLOG + COMMENT TO SUPPORT ME MWAH ILY
When you told Mr. Harrington you’d be more than happy to help around his Ranch during the summer, you didn’t expect Steve to become a problem, but you were wrong, so fucking wrong.
A cocky cowboy who’s way too into partying and into his looks and his fluffy hair than you could ever imagine. That’s exactly how you’d describe Steve Harrington. Even though you so badly wanted to believe otherwise, wanted to disregard the rumors and the reputation that came with him. But, he made it so goddamn hard.
All he fucking did was tease you, complain. Order you around and act like you didn’t know how to do shit. And, you didn’t, but he was supposed to be your guidance, teach you. But all he did was grumble and give you that goddamned smirk.
Yet, you couldn’t fully hate him, there was a side of him he rarely showed you, one that cared, one that offered you rides—it was more of a mumble each night but you accepted nonetheless, one that ended up at your side whenever an asswipe bothered you at the bar, one that offered you a hand on your back when you were crying, he didn’t ask what happened, didn’t speak, just stood there, letting you spill out your guts. The two of you never spoke about these incidents, ever, because he acted like they didn’t exist, like he couldn’t bear the thought of being nice to you.
You were so fascinated by him, even though you’d never admit it out loud. He was charismatic, outright funny, and had a heart of gold that you only peered one layer of.
And fuck it, he was fine, annoyingly good-looking that he was a distraction to be around when you were supposed to be working, him with those sturdy denim jeans that cupped his ass perfectly, wide-brimmed cowboy hat with a creased crown, put perfectly on his head. Even though you’d much rather see his pretty hair falling on his face, run your hands through his smooth layers.
Usually, when it got as hot as it did today, he’d even take off that stupid shirt, feast your eyes with his glimmering chest, all hairy and glistening with sweat, broad shoulders as he ordered everyone around made you gulp. Like he is doing with you, right fucking now.
“Sunshine, get back to work.” Heat travels to your cheeks quickly, and that stupid nickname rolls off his lips so bitterly, the one he always called you just because you were all nice and smiley—even when he was being an asshole to you, something that grinded his gears, you guessed it was a foreign concept to him, being nice.
You were quick to shake off the hold he had on you, getting back on your feet as you stood your ground. “I am working! Just needed a second to breathe!” The lies rolled off your lips so simply that you wondered if he caught you staring. When he turned around to leave, you guessed he hadn’t.
“Asshole.” The insult leaves you before you can register how close Steve still was to you.
Turning head-spinningly fast. “What did ya say?” He spits, making you gulp physically.
He looks out of the world stunning when he’s mad, maybe it’s a toxic trait of yours but, fuck, the way his chocolate hues turn unrecognizable, that slight quirk of his brows, and the way his muscles flex in pure anger made you rub your thighs together.
Jesus Christ. He is getting into your head, and you hate that you think of him this way when he is so mean.
“Nothing! I’m just saying it’s really hot out today,” you hum, the sun rays hitting your face not making it easier on the heat that flame your cheeks.
He gives you a snort, all mocking once he takes a step closer, making you feel hotter if that is possible. “Well that’s what happens in the summer, darlin’”
Hand on the wall he tilts his head slightly, all with sass that has you rolling your eyes. “Or did you expect the weather to give Miss Sunshine some sorta special treatment?”
You roll your eyes, an act you always did that makes Steve’s jaw clench. “Oh, come on Steve! It’s really, really, hot, and the sun is all on my face!”
“Boo-hoo, princess,” he mocks, tipping his hat, almost as if to tease you further.
You scoff, getting closer to him. “Easy for you to just stand around in that big hat!” With a narrowed gaze, you cross your arms against your chest, like a brat, another trait that annoyed Steve even further.
Then, you beam again, and Steve knows no matter how much you hate it, Sunshine is absolutely the nickname you deserve, eyes glistening with happiness that it annoyingly even brings a glint to his pretty amber hues. His gaze unintentionally droops down to tour lips, so plushy and soft looking when it curls into that pretty smile that Steve wants to kiss you all over.
“Oh! Do you mind if I?” You ask all giggly, pointing toward his wide-brimmed hat, hand teasingly standing above his head.
He scoffs as if you had just asked him the most insulting question ever. “Not a chance,” he spits, now he crosses his arms in front of his chest, eyeing you with a dark glint in his eyes, one you couldn’t decide was full of annoyance or just pure desire.
“Mhmmm… okay,” you hum, feigning innocence for a second, before snatching it off his head with another hearty giggle.
Oh, what he would do to hear that on a loop, admire the way your lips stretched into the prettiest grin, brows quirked.
“Sunshine!” He chides, much rougher than he intends to, but you don’t pay attention to him when you place the hat carefully on your head, smoothing your hair.
You shrug, looking up at him with those doe eyes that have him melting, everytime, without fail. “Admit it, looks better on me.” You shrug, expecting him to agree.
Instead, he just offers you a deep sigh of breath, eyes almost widening when he realises what you just did. “Do you even—”
He huffs, hiding the obvious pink shade thats starting to color his cheeks, you really had no idea the hold you had on him, did you? “God, you city girls have no idea about anything, huh?”
Your brows furrow. “What?”
“Cowboy hat rule?” He asks with a tilt of his head, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest.
A teasing smile curves on your plushy lips as you push for more information. “What’s that?”
“Just give me the hat back,” he insists, attempting to mask the warmth that crept into his tone.
With a shake of your head, your defiance only grows, a glint of mischief dancing in your gaze. “Not until you tell me the rules.”
“Sunshine,” he warns, voice so grumbly that heat travels all over your body quicker than the sun burning you.
“Steve?” You hum with a flirty gaze, so teasing that Steve wants to fuck you right then and there, until he teaches you proper manners, until he shows you not to be a total fucking brat and not to roll your eyes at him, until he shows you that you’re his.
But, of course, he settles on a low grumble of, “You’re annoying.”
“You used to be more creative with the insults, Harrington.” Another teasing remark, and Steve rolls his tongue inside of his mouth.
With a smirk, he takes another step toward you, when your back hit the walls of the barn, only then you realise, he has you cornered. “You wanna know the cowboy hat rule, princess?” He asks all smugly.
Gaze meaner than he is, chest almost pressed against yours, voice so low that all you can do is slightly nod.
Your breath gets hitched in your throat when his face is mere inches away from yours, hot breath fanning against your cheeks, skin heating on the impact, that brattiness you wear as a mask quick to slip off when he’s all demanding. “You wear the hat, you ride the cowboy.” His tone is almost a growl, pupils blown wide, making you gulp, physically.
“What?” You blink, unsure of what he’s actually asking. Excitement jumping around in your tummy.
“You heard me. Wanna take me for a ride, Sunshine?” He is so goddamn close that you are sure he can hear the annoying tumble your heart does at the weight of what his words hold.
It makes you pause, gaze sticking on his, sometimes slipping away to his soft lips, almost to signal him of something, but all you can do is try to hide the embarrassment that burns your cheeks.
“Didn’t think so,” he scoffs, backing away just slightly.
His cowboy hat is too big on your head, tipping low over your eyes, possibly hiding your nervousness as you mutter, “What if I do?”
With a smooth motion, he flips it off from your head, holding it with his palm, away from you. “Get back to work, Sunshine.”
“I’m serious—”
“So am I, those horses ain’t gonna straddle their strap themselves, off. to. work,” he hisses, turning to leave.
You huff, heat still burning off your cheeks, more embarrassed than annoyed, yet you still don’t have it in yourself to let it go, you can’t let him have this. Win this.
Quick to snatch the hat back, “So the hat rule is, wear the cowboy hat, ride the cowboy, huh?” You mumble behind him, your voice failing you, yet you appear to be giggly, and Steve heaves a deep sigh of breath, before fully turning to you.
He halts a bit when he sees you once again, in his hat, tipped low, that stupidly addicting smirk gracing your slightly-open lips, hand on your hips, and all he wants to do is fuck you till you lose that attitude of yours.
“Stop,” he warns, taking a step closer to you but with a shake of your head you back away, and he sighs, loud and annoyed.
“Gimme that, sunshine!”
“Nuh-uh.” All teasing and bratty, and grating on Steve’s last nerve. You know this, yet you wanna keep pushing him, further and further, until he snaps, until he can’t take it anymore. You have no reason to do this, you’re supposed to hate him, think of him as an annoying asshole.
But the two of you are finally tethering on that line, the line between purely teasing each other out of spite, to teasing each other out of flirting, you know that, and you don’t wanna take a step back. “Prove it.”
You are all up in his face, and all he can do his roll his eyes, cheeks beetle red, frustration worn on his face. “Knock it off.”
You tut gently, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Not until you—” Your words are interrupted quickly when he snatches up the hat from your head in annoyance, making you gasp when he discarded it easily.
“Get back to work!” His voice raises, and it makes you take a deep breath.
Shit, did you fuck this up?
“What?” You question, entire body feeling dizzy. He takes a step closer.
“You heard me.”
Another step closer, his breaths come out in short gasps, frustration taking over him. “Get back to fuckin’ work, before I can’t stop myself.”
He is close. Too fucking close, and you can’t help the way your gaze droops down to his soft lips, slightly parted open, downturned from frustration. God, you realize how hot he is when he is angry, once again. “F—from what?”
He hesitates, before licking his lips. This is it. He wants, no, he desperately needs you. Needs to put you to your place. Teach you what happens to bratty girls like you. Show you what exactly the stupid rule is. “From fucking you in this goddamn barn.”
You release the breath you’ve been holding back, feeling small, so small under his gaze. Mouth hanging open, and all you want is him to pin you against the wall, have you screaming out his name. “From making sure I show you how the goddamn cowboy hat rule works.”
Your back is plastered against the wall, his hands are by your side, you are caged beneath him, chest rising in anticipation. “Is that what you want, honey, think you can handle all of that?” He’s so smug, and you don’t know what overtakes you when he’s all in control like this, you wanna obey him, make him happy, proud, so you bite back on your insults.
His smirk is dangerously alluring, and you’re under his spell.
“Please,” you beg, heat finds your cheeks again, you hate the hold he has on you.
He barks out a chuckle, so mean, yet as equally hot. “Please, what? Speak up,” he spits, rolling his tongue inside of the roof of his mouth, lips wearing a smirk.
“Ruin me,” your voice is small, meek, yet it makes him groan.
You’re such a good girl for him, and he wants nothing more than to ruin you. Fully. Completely. Ruin you for every other man.
His head ducks down to your neck, leaving a sloppy kiss before leaning into your ear, his breath hot on your neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “Goddamit darlin’, you gonna be the death of me, huh?”
You don’t—you can’t answer, you’re speechless, rubbing your thighs together desperately, seeking some friction, a touch, anything.
He levels with you again, dangerous gaze on your lips, fingertips brushing against your cheeks teasingly “You know what I always wanted to do, sunshine?” He coarses lowly.
“W—what?” You ask with a gulp, lips twitching with need.
He gives you another grin, that asshole. The pad of his thumb slowly caressing your lips now, making you shiver with hunger. “Always wanted to put you to your place, you and that damn smart mouth, always runnin’ it for no good reason. I’d give you a good reason for those pretty lips, huh? Use it the way I wanna use it, fill it the way I wanna feel it,” he grunts like he said the most normal thing, yet you’re already squirming, wanting to open your lips, take his fingers in your mouth and suck on them, show him how much of a good girl you can be for him.
He has you on such a hold already, and you can’t complain. For someone who seemed to be annoyed—hell, even hated him a few minutes ago, you feel crazy, batshit insane, all you want is him.
His fingertips play with your lips all teasingly, pupils blown wide, the other hand caresses your hair so possessively that you melt into his touch. “You gonna be good for me sweet thing?”
He doesn’t have to ask you twice. “Y—yes, sir.”
Sir.
Godfuckingdammit. You don’t know the hold you have on him, do you?
He bites back on the moan that rumbles in his throat, instead settling on a, “Good girl.” Your puppy dog eyes glint at the praise, and he makes a mental note of it. .
“Get on your knees f’me, darlin’,” he grumbles, and you’re quick to obey, not minding the uncomfortable feeling of the wooden floors scraping your knees, or the fact that anyone might’ve walked in, the door was locked, and there was probably no one around yet Mr. Harrington might’ve returned to the ranch at any moment. But he made you feel safe, somehow.
You look up at him with those doe-eyes again, making him suck in a breath before he unbuttons his jeans and pushes them off his hips, boxers so tight around his hard cock that he grunts involuntarily.
Your eyes go wide the second his erection springs free, almost hitting the tip of your nose, red, angry and leaking with pre-cum, he lets out a chuckle at your expression before grabbing the base of his cock.
Same eyes, looking up at him all hungrily, Steve feels the way blood rushes quickly to his cock, making him harder if that's even possible, with a groan he runs the leaking tip across your lips. “Open up.”
Your hand replaces his quickly, and he runs his fingers through several strands of your hair, teaching you how exactly he wants you.
You open your mouth wide, just like he likes it, tongue giving his slit kitten licks, moaning at the taste of his salty pre-cum, wrapping your plushy lips around his thick head, and sucking the life out of him, determined, and feigning innocence with the soft gaze you held.
Head thrown back, heavy boots planted on the harsh ground, he lets out a low groan, stroking your hair all softly. “Look at you s’pretty like this for me.”
His hand wraps tighter around your hair, pushing you onto him, making sure you gag a little and that only spurs you on, making you whine around his cock, the sound reverberating through his chest. “Cat got your tongue, darlin’?” He chuckles all meanly.
“God, do you have any idea how many times I wanted to shut up that bratty mouth like this?” He asks with grunts leaving his open mouth, hand working harshly around your head, mouth feeling like heaven the more you bob around his thick length, struggling to take all of him.
“Those pretty lips are—mmpf, shit—better stuffed with my cock than being a spoiled lil’ city girl runnin’ her mouth, ain’t that right, baby?” You nod meekly, angelic eyes seeking for his validation before you flatten your tongue around the sensitive part of his tip, struggling to take all of him in your mouth. Earning guttural moans, eyes squeezed shut as he feels your soft lips wrapped around him again.
“Fuck, sweet thing.” You can feel his filthy grunts straight in your core, all low and lewd that you almost moan around him again, he puts one hand on the wall, helping himself to better move in and out of your throat.
He knows if you keep this up, he’ll cum right and there, and fuck, he needs that. But he needs to be inside of you more.
You keep up your stroking, now adjusting yourself properly to start licking and sucking on his balls. “Sunshine, you need to s—stop,” the words barely leave his lips, he so doesn’t want you to stop. But, he needs to cum inside of you.
Yet, you don’t listen to him as your movement speeds up, determined to feel his load warming your throat, make him proud, and your mouth bobs harder around his length, making him growl at you harshly. “Sunshine,” he warns, pulling you by your hair.
You’re quick to take a deep breath of air once he pulls you off, looking up at him with the perfect innocent eyes, your lips wearing the prettiest pout. “Was that not good for you, Stevie?”
Stevie. That nickname makes his head spin faster, all he wants to do is fuck you against those stupid rustic walls, have you screaming out for him, the whole ranch filled with your filthy noises, no one was around anyway.
“You kiddin’, sweetheart?” He gives you a chuckle, wrapping his hands around your jaw, pulling you off the floor.
“You were fuckin’ amazing,” he hums, leaning down to kiss you, tasing the salty semen on your tongue.
His hands are quick to travel along to your waist, fingertips finding their way onto your panties rather quickly, earning a gasp out of you. “Need to be in here first, honey.”
You nod, so quickly that you can feel him grinning into the kiss, his hands are everywhere, yours are more or less the same, quick to get rid of his top, to feel his toned chest in your soft hands, your top is sprawled right next to his, revealing your pink and gold bra at him, breasts peeking out just enough to have him groan, big hands quick to get rid of them.
He has you caged against the amber walls, back hitting the rough material, making you hiss. Your skin heats at the impact, it’s filthy, lewd, and so public, but none of you even care enough to break the kiss. He settles between your thighs, his pants drooped to his ankles, hands rubbing across your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
The sight of you so easily submitting to him, makes his cock grow harder than he thought was possible, looking so ethereal that Steve forgets all about everything else. “Sunshine,” he breathes, hands fiddling with the hem of your panties.
“Mhmm,” is all you can muster, legs slightly open for him, and he almost feels possessive over you, it’s entirely stupid, but he looks so fucking alluring with those dark chestnut eyes, layered hair a mess, and cock weeping entirely with the thought of you.
His thumb runs over the seam of your pussy, just a glimpse of how his fingers are going to ruin you, and you pulse and clench against him already. Wet. Drenched. And all ready to take him. “You’re soaked,” he groans.
Leaning further into your ear, “is that all for me, honey?” he rasps, desperate, needing your confirmation.
Heat grows in your cheeks faster than a scorching day in July, and he grins, again, all cocky and proud. “Yes,” you admit meekly, and Steve’s quick to kiss your worries away.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this,” he growls, swirling your wetness up and around your slit, almost toying with you, having you desperately mewl for him.
He can’t put his finger on it, what it is that draws him this much into you, but he’s hooked, so goddamn obsessed that he feels like an idiot, for being this much of an asshole, for acting like a grade school boy who’s pulling the pigtails of his crush. Like a stupid cliche.
“Stevie.” That nickname, again. Godfuckingdammit, Steve thinks. You have him so wrapped around your finger, it’s like a prayer, and he’s sure you’re not aware of it. And it drives him even crazier. “Please.”
“Talk to me.” His voice is low, lips now nipping at your neck, suckling, giving you all the marks you need.
“I need you,” you hum, eyes squeezed shut, desperate. His finger discard your panties and slide easily inside of you, your back is fully dipped into the well-worn walls with how good he feels, his thick fingers making their way in and out of your soppy cunt, whines leave your lips faster than you can comprehend.
“Ruin me, Steve, fully, completely.” You don’t know how those words leave past your lush lips, but your thighs ache with need, cunt throbbing for him and him only.
His eyes widen quickly, pure hunger quick to fill his veins, mouth hanging open, curses leaving his lips at how forward you are being. “Show me the cowboy hat rule, sir.”
Steve all but groans, mouth harshly on yours again, chests pressed together and you can feel how hard he truly is, rock stiff, and aching to be inside of you. The sheer size of how he feels against your thighs almost makes your eyes bulge again.
His fingers stop moving in and out of you, before you can whine, he spins you around so fast that you gasp loudly, hands immediately plastered on the wall, pleasure and excitement fills your tummy, but the fact that he’s seeing you all vulnerable like this is embarrassing enough that you try to close your legs.
He’s quick to stop you with a grin, rough hands landing on the back of your thighs, spreading them open while tutting you. “Nuh-uh. Don’t get all shy now, princess. Spread them open f’me.” You spread them a little, cunt throbbing with how close his fingers are.
He groans again once he fully gets a view of you like this, face down, ass up, your pussy slicked with your juices, at his mercy. “‘M gonna ruin you, honey, don’t you worry.” A dark chuckle barks out from his chest, sending chills down your spine, almost making you whine.
Fuck.
His hands are rough when he has you by your waist, bruising almost. Lining his cock in front of your slick core, he swipes the head of his reddened tip inside of you with one forceful thrust. Your plushy lips open slightly, stealing your breath away as you try to adjust to his size.
Shit, shit, shit, he feels even better than you fucking expected.
His cock splits you open, filling every goddamn inch of you. You don’t know how many times you thought this, but, shit, he’s as big as the gossip in this small town says he is.
His thrusts are slow, grunts so loud and heavenly that it spurs you on more and more. His weight on you, the bruising hold. You feel him everywhere. On your back, hips, and fucking inside of you.
“F-fucking, fuck!” he growls, leaving nibbles all over your shoulder and back, even with the fact that this was Steve, and he was rough and filthy, it was wildly intimate, so wildly intimate that you could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest.
“How are you this fuckin’ tight, s-sweetheart?” One of his hands travel up to your neck, roughly holding you down, hips slamming into you with such force that you cry out.
He watches the way his girthy cock disappears in and out of you, wetting himself with your juices, filling every inch of you. “Doin’ s’good for me, princess.” His praises are heavenly, making your chest swell with pride.
He moves inside of your soppy cunt with short thrusts. Completely bottomed out, thrusting against the same sensitive spot every time as his balls, heavy with cum grind against your clit, with each movement, making you cry out his name, babbles leaving your mouth. “Yeah, you like this don’t ya? Want me to ruin this slutty pussy, huh? Ruin it for every other men?”
You nod all dumbly, yet, it isn’t enough for him. He wants to hear you, have you scream it out. “Say it, sweet thing, fuckin’ say it,” he groans, coarse voice making tingles appear everywhere on your skin.
“I-I love it, Stevie, want you to ruin me for everyone else, mmpf,” you moan all fucked out, eyes rolled all the way back to your head, hips desperately grinding against him for some more friction.
He picks up his pace, fucking into you with reckless abandon.“F-fuck doll, won’t last if you keep runnin’ that dirty mouth.”
But his words just encourage you to keep going, gasps coming out in short breaths as you manage to drive him crazier. “All yours, sir, all yours.”
He grunts at that, one of his arms snaking around and under your hips to find a better angle, lifting you up so that he can fuck his cock deeper into you, make you feel how fucking big he really is. “That’s right, baby, it’s all fuckin’ mine.”
Hot tears spill down your cheeks, entire body burning with it. The slick sounds of his hips driving into you, your moans, his low groans are all that fill the room. So fucking filthy, and you can feel yourself clenching around him.
It’s all too much; his hands everywhere, the lewd noises he makes, how deep his girthy cock is bottomed out inside of you, making you feel every ridge. It’s fucking perfect, and you desperately need to cum.
And of fucking course, Steve can feel your pussy gripping him, so tight that he knows he’s gonna cum right after you do. “Gonna cum f’me, huh? Such a good girl,” he praises, again, knowing the effect it has on you and all you can do is gasp and weakly nod.
One of his thumbs quickly finds your clit, making your pussy throb around him in pure ecstasy, all the overstimulation enough to have you crying like a bitch in heat. “Give it to me, angel,” he murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses everywhere on your skin.
His movements pick up, padded thumb rubbing circles around your clit, the other hand landing on your nipples, twisting them while pumping into you, it’s all too much that it makes you sob and beg for him.
“Cream my cock, let me ruin you completely, darlin’” It’s all the confirmation you need as your orgasm builds and washes through you, body exploding with pleasure, spreading through your skin as you scream out his name.
Your pussy squeezes and pulses around his cock, and he fucking knows, he won’t last, not in the slightest. “S-shit, sweet thing, gonna make me cum with all those filthy noises.”
“Want that, honey, hmm? Wanna be filled with my cum? Show everybody in this town who owns ya? Owns this tight lil’ cunt?” He feels it, that pure hunger for you over taking him, coarse voice, dark eyes, like a man possessed. His fingers dig further into your skin as he desperately chases his orgasm, enjoying the sloppy sounds your pussy makes as he drives into you.
“P-please, Stevie, n-need your cum,” you weakly hum. And it fucking breaks him. Hips losing all rhythm when he spills his warm load into you, twitching inside of you once he pumps you full of his cum.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Sunshine,” he breathes, collapsing on your back, both of you trying to come down from the high. He slips free of you slowly, his cum dripping down your thighs, making him grin proudly.
“S-steve,” you weakly murmur, collapsing in his arms. He holds you down, slight kisses left on your back, delicate in a way you have never seen him before. Yet, the two of you don’t mention it, “let me take you home,” he mutters, a gentle hold on you that makes you feel warm.
“N-no.”
“No?” Intrigued, his breath gets caught in his throat, the look you give him is so sultry that the blood rushes to his cock in an instant again. Fucking fuck, what have you done to him.
“We still haven’t followed the rules,” you purr sweetly, causing him to raise his brows in excitement, tempting him further and further.
“The rule was wear the hat, ride the cowboy, wasn’t it?” You question with a slight grin, eyes lulled, still fucked out.
Your fingertips gently grazed against his chest, hairy and slicked with sweat, his sudden dominance fading when you were so quick to switch from begging to cum underneath him to gaining that flirty, giddy personality again. Already leaving him a mess. “Y-yeah,” he murmured, watching you hungrily, his cock already weeping again.
“Then, sit down and lemme take care of you, cowboy,” you ordered again, shuddering breaths leaving him in an instant.
Now you were going to ruin him.
Fully.
Completely.
And Steve couldn’t be more infatuated. You were truly his demise.
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fics#steve harrington smut#steve harrington imagines#cowboy!steve harrington
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Y/n agrees to be Oscar’s fake date to a wedding, but they end up actually getting together by the end of it
fake dating is the best trope i don't even care what you say. i'm not going to give it justice but i'll try my best, tysm anon. :)
tw: fem!reader, swears, pining and stupid oscar, lmk if you want me to add anything! not proof read cuz im lazy!
w/c: 2.5k
there was very little rules to liking someone, but there was one you were sure of it was to not agree to fake date in order to convince the boy you like's family that you are dating. you have read enough fake dating books to know how it goes down, although in the end they always get together, you are not known to have that kind of luck.
when oscar asked (more like begged) you to accompany him to a family wedding as his fake date, you barely hesitated. he didn't even get time to explain why you had to pretend to date him before you were jumping at the chance. it was embarrassing, really. oscar had ended up explaining that his family kept trying to set him up with his girl he dated back in australia but it hadn't worked out between them, she had ended up cheating on him with his friend. so to get back at them and her, he decided to invite you along to get his family off his back and to let her know that he was not interested because as his family had put it, she was more than up for reconnecting. oscar could seriously not think of anything worse.
it was one of those weddings that had an overnight stay attached because it was way easier than getting everyone to and from the venue.
"can you help me with my tie?" oscar asks. he was nervous, that much you could tell. you would be nervous too if you had convince a full wedding of people that you were dating someone you weren't. you on the other hand, you were buzzing with excitement. you were getting a glimpse into what it would be like to date the boy you had been harbouring a crush on since he had joined f1 last year. you knew it would break you by tomorrow by that was future you's problem. for now you were going to enjoy 'pretending' to be in love with oscar.
you spin around after you finish making sure you liked how you looked to face oscar. oscar wasn't tall but he was taller than you. the top of your head came to rest just under his chin as you carefully tie his tie for him. the boy was so fucking sweet, having asked for a picture of your dress so he could get a tie to match and it's like he made the tie from the same fabric the dress was made from. it was a perfect match,
"well look at you! don't you scrub up well, oscar!" you say after straightening his tie and taking a step back from him to get a good look at him. if you were really dating this would be the part where you jumped his bones. but you were not dating so you grin up at him and he gives you a nervous smile back.
"don't be nervous. i've been told i'm a great fake girlfriend." you joke with oscar as you spray some of your favourite perfume, grab your bag and head towards your hotel door, hearing oscar follow behind you.
"you've done this before?" oscar asks surprised as the door closes behind you and you walk along the corridor to the elevator.
"christ, you really are nervous, you aren't picking up any of my jokes." you say, your hand finding his as you both step into the elevator. you look up at him to make sure he's alright with you holding his hand. oscar's hand just squeezes yours in confirmation.
once you arrive you are greeted by a pair of doormen that seem to recognise oscar. he's greeted with a "hey, mate!" and "oscar!". it seems he's very popular within this wedding. or maybe it was because he was a formula one driver. you forget that a lot.
oscar greets them both of a couple of those hugs that men do. you watch along, feeling a little awkward but also happy to see oscar with people he's clearly comfortable with. it makes you smile.
"and who's this pretty girl?" one of the men asks and oscar is instantly back by your side. a protective hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you into his side a little. "this is my girlfriend." he introduces you, although you don't think he needs to because his actions spoke a thousand words. you try not to get too excited at his touch, you two had agreed to do anything that was needed to convince everyone you two were actually a couple, so you had to expect these touches.
the two men give their congratulations but you can tell they are trying their bests to not laugh at his protective nature. maybe oscar was better at acting than his nerves were making him out to be. they both and you glasses of champagne as they guide you to a room filled about halfway with people, chatting away. up ahead you can see rows of chairs and a gorgeous arch in front of a floor to ceiling window. it showcases the beautiful australian scenery behind it. you think it is a lovely place to get married. oscar hands you his champagne without a word from you. "champagne was only for podiums" rang in your mind, recalling the time oscar had told you that. most of your thoughts were oscar based.
oscar spots his family ahead and links your hands again, of course you recognise his mum, she was an icon in your eyes and you admired her, even though when you told oscar this he thought you were joking. she was standing with his dad, chris as they chatted away. with the way oscar had been talking about them this past week, with the whole ex-girlfriend situation, you would think they were devil spawn. to you, they looked lovely and you were itching to meet them. oscar had told you his sisters were not able to make it which made you sad as you had met before and you really liked them.
"oscar!" nicole calls over, catching the attention of a few other people around but they go back to their own conversations soon enough. you stand off to the side as oscar reunites with his mother and father. nicole's eyes land on you.
"well you must be the famous girlfriend we've heard so much about then." she praises you as she brings you in for a hug too. it is oscar's turn to stand off at the side and watch. "you look stunning." she tells you, which has you grinning.
the two most important people to oscar stare back at you as you suddenly feel shy. just as oscar thinks he is going to have to jump in for you, you say "thank you, mrs piastri. i am, i hope he hasn't said anything embarrassing about me.". you smile at her. oscar smiles at you.
"no, none of that love, you call me nicole and him chris." she signals to her husband whose holding a champagne flute. chris smiles at you too.
"sorry, nicole." you say but she waves you off. oscar comes to stand next to you, arm snaking back around your waist again. it feels so right, like he has been doing it for years.
"oscar hasn't shut up about you! when he finally told us you had gotten together i was over the moon. i've been desperate to meet you. osc made you sound lovely." the woman rants to you, she's clearly a little tipsy but it makes you like her more.
you beam at hearing this, eyes flitting to look at oscar who seems embarrassed. he has probably hyped you up so much so you seem better than that ex he was on about.
"i hope i'm as lovely as he's made me out to be." you are shy, oscar has never seen you shy. it was cute.
before nicole can say much more a couple, who you later find out are friends with the couple getting married, make their way to you with what seems to be their daughter. she looks about you and oscar's age.
nicole greets them happily, alongside chris. oscar whispers in your ear "this is the girl and her family."
you look up at him as he looks at you nervous. in your mind, it was game time. you shift slightly while the others say their 'hello's', moving oscar's hand from your waist to in front of you. you wrap both of yours arm his one arm, clutching it to your chest, cheek resting on his bicep. oscar grins at your rearrangement. just before they turn to you and pull oscar down, silently telling him to whisper in your ear, you pray he gets the message.
he somehow does as he's whispering all about car strategies, 'what a weirdo' you think to yourself with a smile graces your features. oscar's hand comes up to hold your jaw as he whispers to you, it makes you feel flushed.
"i'm sure you remember oscar. this is his girlfriend." nicole introduces you too. well re-introduces her and oscar.
the girl glares at you as oscar moves away to stand straight and say 'hello' to the couple and the girl, who introduces herself as molly.
as everyone gets talking about the soon-to-be-wed couple, the conversation topic changes to you and oscar.
"how long have you two been dating, then?" molly asks. if you had to say which of the people you were talking to at the moment didn't believe you and oscar, it would be molly. she would cause trouble tonight for sure.
"two months." you both say unison. you smile in amusement while oscar squeezes the hand he had entwined with yours. nicole and molly's mother laughs at the two of you. chris smiles at you.
"so not that long then?" molly comments. before you can react they are asking everyone to take a seat on the respective sides as the ceremony was about to start.
oscar guides you to the seats with one hand on your back. it must be made of fire though because your back feels like sparks are shooting through it. molly's father has the greatest of the kids sitting with each other so oscar ends up in the middle of you and molly. you are on the aisle seat.
oscar is holding your hand so tight, you know he is nervous.
"you're doing great. they believe us. it's alright." you whisper in his ear to calm him down, your free hand resting on his shoulder. oscar smiles and nods at you. your words seeming to have the desired effect.
the ceremony is beautiful and you watch on in awe as the couple seal their vows with a kiss. you are too focused on watching the brides that you don't notice oscar staring at you. it's probably for the better seeing as you probably would have freaked out.
once the ceremony is over you are moved through to an extravagant dining hall, for one of the best meals you have ever had in your life. you have a glass of wine as you converse with oscar's parents and the others assigned to your table. you had not stopped smiling. you were all then crowded to the room where the reception would take place.
you all find a table to sit at, including molly's family. as the night went on, the more the drinks poured. oscar had barely had anything to drink. you had drank a little more but you were nothing more than tipsy. spending the whole day with you had made oscar see you in a different light. you noticed all the small things about you: the way your nose scrunches up when you really laugh, the way your voice gets higher when you talk about the things you are passionate in, the way you talk with your hands when you are explaining a story you yourself would find difficult to follow if you were the one listening. oscar may have actually fell for you today, and he was not really complaining.
after you return from the bar with another round of drinks you hear molly talking to nicole.
"they just don't seem real to me. i mean it was so last minute and when does he tell you? as soon as you bring up me. it's suspicious, nicole that's all i'm saying." molly says, trying to convince oscar's mum of the authenticity of your relationship. even though you knew it was fake you had to pretend oscar was in love with you. you knew just how to do it. you return to the table like you had not even heard a word and wait for oscar to come back from the bathroom with his dad.
a slow song comes on and the dj encourages all couples to come up and slow dance, this is all falling in line with your plan. before you can even suggest you and oscar go up to dance, nicole is pulling you both to the dance floor with her and chris.
you rest your arms on oscar's shoulders as his lay around your waist and link at the small of your back. there is some distance between you but that would need to change for you to execute your plan of getting molly to shut the fuck up.
"molly seems to be having fun." oscar smiles at you, his words are cheeky and you can see the alcohol in his eyes. it makes you laugh as you nod.
"i think we've been pretty successful with this whole thing." he then says, his thumb starting to run across your back, the soft touch making you weak in the knees.
you sigh. "i hear molly trying to convince your mum that we were faking." you tell him. you see the way his face screws up in annoyance.
"i was thinking something.." you trail off, scared he would not agree.
"what?" he questions.
"we should kiss so that everyone knows we are real. i mean we've been here for hours and not kissed once. not even like forehead kisses-" your cut off as oscar does exactly that. a light, lingering kiss pressed against the centre of your forehead before he is pulling away, cheesy smile cemented on his face. thank god for the dull lights and makeup or else oscar would see how hard you were blushing right now.
"right- so, yeah?" you say, tripping over your words as you think about his lips on your skin.
"if you wanted me to kiss you then you should've just asked, honey." oscar says teasingly hand coming up to sprawl across your jaw as he leans down.
the kiss lifts you off the ground and throws you around, oscar kisses you like you are special goods, like you are fragile and he would not dare to think about shattering you. his tongue swipes at your lips and of course you let him, it is the boy you have loved for a whole year. you both realise that the kiss is much more than driving the fake dating point home. you were finally letting oscar know how much you adored him and he was just discovering the extent of his feelings for you.
nicole watches on before saying to her husband. "she's good for him." he replies, "they're good for each other."
#oscar pastri fluff#oscar piastri angst#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#op81 angst#op81 x you#op81 x y/n#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 x reader#op81 fic#op81#f1 imagine#f1 angst#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#lcriedlastnight#lcriedlastnightrequests
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