#i could idk i have a lot of amnesia but just no bc i cant deal with having the whole ass alphabet as my disorder

[mythicalmyles]

My psychologist: you have did

Me: no

[ganondoodle]

I honestly find it impressive how totk managed to fuck up so bad as a sequel. But truth be told, good gameplay aside, botw already was a whole lot of nothing as far as story and lore were concerned. I just feel like amnesiac Link going out into the world to save some voice is not a good premise, even though botw Zelda has an interesting personality. Idk, I guess botw felt like an experiment that was supposed to pay off in totk, but totk being a disappointment makes botw kind of feel like a waste of time as well

yes and no to that (in my opinion .. just gonna add that to be sure)

what hooked me in botw was less the story that was told and more what was implied, bc it seemed to imply so much, there was so much design that felt intentional- like an introduction to a world with subtle hints towards much much more that would be perfect to dive deeply into in an expansion or second part- just like you said

i personally am a sucker for big environments with enviromental storytelling more than direct dialog in your face- it might be a small detail to some but for me the choice of music, or how little and broken there was really spoke to me (in part bc i am very noise sensitive, id gladly spent hours in botws hyrule field, but id want to get out of twilight princesses hyrule field bc it would get unbearable to me after a while)

but mainly .. it was the world, botw made me feel like no other game has before, it felt so real to me, that this is a world with deep history, most of which unknown, so much mystery and things that existed with no explicit explanation (like man do i love botws dragons ...... and i will not forgive what totk did to them lore wise)-- like with the ancient shiekah especially, they were, or seemed, so drenched in lore you can only guess but yet it felt so intentional, or how calamtiy ganon was this strange being like a force of nature and the gerudo having had no king in so long it was basically forgotten it was ever a thing?? so much to speculate and think about, so much you could do with all those things; you probably didnt aim to get this kind of talk from me but when i talk i talk unfortunately, and botw is my second favorite zelda game (grinding my teeth to dust trying to ignore what totk did to its lore)

if you look at just whats told to you, botw isnt that special either (though at least coherent in itself lol) but its the world and design and mystery that got to me, that i care about so much, care that got almost utterly destroyed by totk bc it made me realize that there .. might have been no intention behind anything, it didnt mean anything actually

its a thing that hurts me so much to know, to think about, that totk cannot be separated from botw, they cheapen each other, people think its just botw+extra, when imo its more like .. botw again but worse, or them saying that botw was jsut a tech demo to the grand game that is totk (i couldnt disagree more to that wtf, totk is more of a tech demo for ultrahand tbh)

i cant even decide whats worse to me, the fact that botw isnt gonna get that deep lore dive in a second part that got me so excited like i never was before after the first trailer, that everything i cared about in it isnt gonna have a follow up ever, the knowledge that there might be no intention and no meaning behind anything in their games, that the next games might be like that too, that its inseperable from totk in the worst way, or that they only damage each other, botw functions better on its own than totk does, but together it worsens both

(i basically just said what you said in long form .. sorry- though i do feel more positively about the amnesia thing in botw, theres tragedy and emotional weight in it and helps immensely to let you and link explore the world like for the first time- plus its a drawback to an otherwise pretty overpowered piece of tech/magic- unlike some other things in a certain other game)

[danphantom]

if ur curious abt the dans that i mentioned here's a post explaining them yippee

split core is an au sort of based in the doppelganger au--its a branch-off of it really--where clockwork wasnt happy with dan's progression and decided to teach him a lesson by splitting his core into the vlad and danny halves--red and green. however, a third core had formed over time--the dark core--and a third dan came out with them who was just the personification of all his bitterness and hatred. they looked like this (and forgive the old art i need to draw them again soon)

and yall know doppelganger dan. hes just the redeemed dan from my doppelganger au/comic lol. he came back for revenge after TUE's events, but he was captured and (forcefully) rehabilitated by the fentons, mostly jazz. then his timeline's vlad showed up thanks to danny and threw him for a loop, but it ended up being what he needed to truly get better! also then later valerie showed up and things got complicated lol. this is him in case youve forgotten

i mentioned "apprentice dan" and that was basically an au where dan was clockwork's apprentice! it was a way for clockwork to look after him without having him interfere with timelines by being part of them. i didnt develop this au a lot, i kind of only had a design and one shitpost comic, but i look back on it fondly. here's the art (also very old now)

and finally, my attempt at a post-agit dan... i settled with just having him be in the clone vessel FOR NOW, because i kinda vibe(d?) with the idea of him being in the vessel to be anchored to the timeline but when he goes ghost he turns into his usual ghost form! here's the vessel design i landed on

i actually just remembered i DO have two more dans from crossover aus i made in the past. how the hell did i forget saiyan dan and phantomborne dan. ESPECIALLY phantomborne dan.

here's saiyan dan first--it was a dragon ball z crossover where jack was a saiyan with amnesia which made danny a half saiyan. i cant remember exactly how i handled dan in this, but i THINK i made dan some time travel situation where he came to the past to make danny an evil saiyan (theyre both half saiyans in the au). this was him

finally...phantomborne. this was my baby au that i was kind of obsessed with for a hot minute so i absolutely cannot believe i forgot about it until now. but it was my bloodborne crossover au where danny was a half beast due to a failed blood transfusion experiment and he could transform at will. dan, however, was a full beast, and he was still danny from the future--there was time travel that i implemented using the au version of clockwork, who kind of acted as a less creepy gehrman with time powers. i think i made him responsible for the reason hunters wake up from the hunter's dream and everything has respawned, like they want back in time??? idk lol. but yeah dan is a full beast in the future bc he was never cured of his beasthood + gave into his beastly urges. he's pretty sick and uses the beast cutter weapon. here's a pic of him with danny

ok i think thats for real all of my dans now thank you for coming to my ted talk and apologies for the longass post. i hope yall had that post cutter thing turned on lol. i know i could have used a readmore but i didnt want to <3

[requiemsystem]

helloooo question

so like sidesystems are a ramcoa exclusive thing right?? I can’t tell if this is one or not bc basically there’s the ig “”main system”” with a mild power structure, just 5 group of alters that sit at a desk and all of them are consistently co conscious with alters fronting and are gatekeepers/caretakers/protectors. Otherwise it’s like just organic and everyone splits and just exists in their own place in the innerworld

But THIS one ….

man idek we literally just FOUND an entire organized layer/system where there’s a straight up hierarchy and each of those alters revolve around a certain thing (emotion/memory/familial bond/religion etc) and the lowest tier is human. there’s layers too with alters that have “programming” (does it even count?? you say a phrase and they click into this trance and act/feel a certain way until it’s over)

Like there was no splitting involved everyone was already known and like had their identities right when they first fronted. also it’s all just subsystems, there is never like a “single alter” it’s all just groups of alters with higher amnesia than when alters in the “””main system”” front, Idk this is so confusing bc there’s no way we could’ve been programmed. there’s no way we could’ve been a victim of ramcoa but what is this system structure and why is it telling me otherwise

tw programming talks i dont think youre going to like this answer but unfortunately i cant tell you if you are programmed or not. sidesystems are programming exclusive, if you are certain you did not experience programming, it could be a subsystem type 2. if you suspect you may be programmed, i would advise you to be very cautious when looking for information relating to it, as doing so can be dangerous and destabilizing. if at all possible, try to discuss this with a trusted therapist. non programmed systems can have "hierarchies" of sorts that naturally form. the difference between these and programmed hierarchies is that organic hierarchies generally are a lot more vague whereas programmed hierarchies are incredibly specific to the abuse you experienced, sometimes using organizational systems. - grey

[quillheel]

🚢 Dani and Rouxls still bumpin around in my head tbh--

send 🚢 or ( 'SHIP' ) if you ever considered shipping our characters romantically and want me to fill out the following form for our muses. / always accepting!

do i ship our characters together? — yes (i could def see it but they could also work as just platonic friends too! very much 'it could work either way' for me <3) | no | not yet but maybe soon

would i like to ship with you? — yes! | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

type of relationship (potentials) i could see — childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love (aka: rouxls is a naenae ass bitch episode 219218 and doesn't say shit/automatically assumes things and then covers the things he convinced himself of with The Facade) | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits (<- w this one, probably starting with friends w benefits in a kind of work setting in how rouxls rationalizes it and then he realizes oh. oh fuck. im doomed. (read: caught feelings))

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them — friends to lovers | enemies to lovers (mostly given the lightner/darkner thing they got goin on!) | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love (looks at the lightners/darkners thing they got going on--) | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes? — develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between (im flexible but i tend to work better when we discuss stuff between a NEW new ship yk! we already kinda got a grasp on their base dynamic though which helps a ton, so i'd be okay with either!)

what now? — let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter (feel free!) | i'll write you a random starter (im bad at starters i gotta just acknowledge it at this point :( )

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits — uhhhh Idk what else to put down except like. i could see their dynamic going in a LOT of different ways depending on Dandie n circumstance and whatnot!!! I've seen some shipping stuff of hers on the dash before but never really seen the intricacies but I think they'd be really interesting regardless, esp with all the Things Rouxls has n would have to kind of get over/work through :] he's also somewhat low muse rn but i have DR on switch its chillin even if its not consistent BKHB (tho i also cant promise i'll be consistent either just bc of irl stuff and generally focusing On that vs discord n tumblr n whatnot, but im vv game for this!!!!! if i ever dont respond its bc of the Ough, not u (tho i think we're in Really similar situations rn in a kind of. morbidly ironic way))

[certifiedgoofball]

Okay Okay Okay I am going to rant here bc Honestly i can

I saw something about plurality that was semi-obviously written by a neurotypical about some people saying it really did not cause them distress and I was thinking (or one of the fnuuy men was saying, I really cannot tell) "of course being some form of multiple people in one body affects us greatly." And That got me like big brain thinky thinky

As a artist I often make sonas for myself. I do this VERY frequently for some reason I cannot pin down, but an issue I have ALWAYS HAD is pinning down my personality so I can give it to the sona. I've always had trouble pinning my personality down even before I even knew jack shit about plurality...or DID...or OSDD...or any of that stuff.

Honestly It should have been obvious. I got an idea for a drawing and like two seconds later after there was femboy on my fucking screen. I Understood that I drew it, It was my artstyle clear as day but for some reason I just did not remember the sketching, linearting OR the coloring I, for some reason, did not see this as an issue and I was like "Well I be danmed I do not remember doing this but it looks unfinished I will finish doing it!" (could have been a sign of some form of amnesia) (I think I have already told you this but i forgor so ima say it again)

I remember sitting on the bus one day going home taking some test for DID and I remember It said I was at risk. When I was suspecting myself of potentially being disordered I was like "Well I do not remember any SEVERE childhood traumas sooo idk if I am actually like yk yk" And to this day I still do not know.

IDK if I'm even disordered. Maybe due to the autism the whole like separate ego thing stayed, maybe this shit indeed hit me out of nowhere, Maybe It was that one Easter when I was like 4 where they were doing some godforsaken ritualistic thing where they made the kids dip their thumb/hand in red paint and put it on some construction paper cross that I was too scared to do that set the path. Maybe It was the entirety of pre school in a religious establishment that I only clearly remember the ritualistic easter thing from. I do not know.

Thank you for reading my useless rant and if you know any shi then give shi :3

(im not an expert at all, just a very autistic individual that likes researching disorders and whatnot. so dont take my words as fact) i have a few things to say. first of all, the lack of memories of trauma from your childhood could be caused by dissociative amnesia, or if you are a system, a different alter could be a trauma holder. trauma also doesnt have to be things like being physically abused, which is easily seen as trauma. a child's mind is very different to a teen or adult mind, and trauma can be made by a bunch of "little" things piling up and stressing out someone's mind too much. with your preschool being a religious establishment, there could've been a lot of "small" things that added up, or things that you don't remember as trauma, but still traumatized you in some way. having any personality disorder (especially cluster b pds which deal greatly with the sense of self) could make you feel like you dont have a pinpoint-able personality. ive heard from some people that they pinned down their change in personality to being a system, so much so that they fully believed that they were one, but it was identity disturbance. there are also things like p-did, where one alter is the active one, and full switches dont happen, but co-consciousness does happen, which can make the host feel like they have a different personality or are perceiving things differently because they're being affected by the other person in front. theres also median systems (im not sure if this is widely-recognized as a real thing, ive just heard about it) where someone feels like they're inbetween being a singlet and a system, or cant place themselves in either category properly. the femboy art does seem to be a lot like amnesia, but i genuinely cant say if it is or isnt, because im just some guy. overall, plurality has a lot of grey areas and such. what i would recommend is to just take time, dont pressure yourself, and try to do what makes you most comfortable.

[chemicalcarousel]

is it normal for the host of a system to having attributed your headmates' behavior/thoughts/opinions/ect to yourself before you were made aware of your plurality?

and is it normal for other headmates to having confused themselves as being you, the host, in the past?

(gonna do a "keep reading" for the rest of it, since it became a long rant about my& struggle with our mental health)

ig it's because we just thought that was what being one person was idk we do be a lil stoopid lmao. like... i remember some episodes where levi was close to the front or fronting with me where we were well aware that there was a levi there (name and all), but we thought it was a delusion or we just brushed it off as if it never happened. then we identified as otherkin/fictionkin (since levi is an introject from a fictional source). levi thought he wasn't his own person and he still seems freaked out by the thought of existing and honestly i dont blame him since i find existing freaky too hxkfsfksxs

i thought one of the littles was me doing involuntary age regression as some sort of emotional flashback, but idk my therapist thinks she's a seperate part and ngl it makes more sense. she's much different, but probably based on young me and holds our trauma from that time. i'm personally emotionally distanced to the trauma mostly, but she's the one holding it. every therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist that have met her are extremely surprised how i change so drastically. and they have all commented on how im not in touch with my emotions when i describe my trauma very analytically. but then sometimes "i" start acting like a scared child. i cant control it in any way. i especially cant control my body language, my thoughts, my emotions, and my speech. and after the episode is over i definitely have emotional amnesia. it was a dissociated child part

also the child has a passive influence on me from positive triggers too and it's hard to control that. let's just say we have a lot of plushies lmao but idk they are very cute and the big ones are good for especially the littles to ground and soothe themselves. sometimes hugging one also helps when a little is upset inside of the body. we have a hard time reaching each other inside the headspace, it's like we are lost in an infinite void of darkness where we can sense each other faintly at times, but it's so hard to communicate. but i hugged a big, soft plushie once i felt a little crying and i kept repeating that we are safe and that she's not alone and that we love her. idk why the plushie hugging helped, but my theory is that she might have felt it through our body and hugging that plushie helps her. she didnt seem to be at the front at all, but idk maybe she could still feel it?? idk how this works, my therapist has been very hesitant to help us, even though she's the one who was like "yeah you are three different parts, i've observed them all" (havent told her about lee bc we are scared and he only fronts when we are alone and he can do some activities he likes)

TW // suicidal ideation mention

our therapist is a licenced psychiatrist and psychotherapist who is specialised in mood disorders (we have bipolar), so maybe that's why she's so bad at handling our case. she's like "it's hard to work with your trauma when you're either not in touch with it or you're triggered to the point of closing off from the world". bruh........ we're trying our best here, you're supposed to like.... know what to do. there's a reason that we are here, if we knew how to handle this we wouldn't need therapy wtf. sadly we barely have an income high enough to live off of since we aren't allowed to work yet due to our strong anxiety and s//cidal ideation. also we dont have the right disorders to get disability (only schizo-spec or bpd, denmark is so stupid istfg). hhh life is so hard and we are super split on having hope for the future or not

TW OVER // suicidal ideation mention

anyway, a question turned into a rant (yet again). ig it's because we literally have no one to talk to about this. sorry hhhhgggg

~ Sof (she/he/they)

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

[ocdhuacheng]

i get that people genderbend male character to be female in mxtx stories (esp if those ppl are wlw) because the majority of characters are male and it is focused on mlm content. so i support wlw simping over cool necromancer lesbians you go girlies, but in general i tend to stay away from genderbend stuff because sooooo much of it is made by cis ppl and it can be a bit transphobic? it also a lot of the times falls into the cishet gender stereotype shit of "women big boobie slim waist small big lips big eyes, men big buff strong macho 8 pack square" which is! oh no cringe!

yeah EXACTLY like my thoughts too. bc the vast majority of genderbending made by cis ppl really is just. like you said. biological gender stereotype shit. i feel like most trans people i see are made pretty uncomfortable by this, and i can totally see why, so i am too. but at the same time i DO understand wlw who want more content with girls/wlw characters esp when there are so few to begin with. so like im kinda willing to give wlw the benefit of the doubt in this case even though i dont rly like to interact with it myself. but also, my beloved sisters in christ... baihe exists

the only genderbending ill really interact with is works with sqx, he xuan*, and hua cheng like since theyre the ones that are shown to or mentioned to change gender in canon. (ling wen too, tho tbh i dont rly care about male!ling wen lmfao, just for the sole reason that, well. i am a lesbian. tho i do have to say the lore behind her male form is actually rather compelling and i think if mxtx were more skilled and open to writing analysis about gender, it could lead to a very thoughtful and nuanced discussion of how ling wen views herself, rather than just if she looks like a cis woman shes a woman if she looks like a cis man shes a man. because iirc she only shapeshifted to get the extra power she had in her male form? that doesnt mean that she is now a man, but in those scenes the book automatically refers to her as such. would love an extra about ling wen's self image and gender. but no, we had to get the statue sex and weird underage amnesia stuff 🙄)

BUT ANYWAY like idk if it really counts as genderbending in tgcf's case? but either way i know mxtx made that ~gods and ghosts can change gender at will~ thing just as a haha comedic relief thing like i think them having the power to do that is totally cool but i do not think it was done respectfully at all, especially with sqx, since mxtx kind of either intentionally or not sends the message (at least to me) that you can only be trans if you pass as cis. ive said it a million times before and ill say it again but the way sqx is never referred to as a woman (by the characters, the narrative, and even THEMSELF) after they lose the ability to LOOK like a cis woman is so so infuriating to me. like theyre not going to just STOP being genderfluid/trans just bc they cant change their appearance. and also not to mention throughout the book they were just kinda treated as being silly and immature for wanting to change their gender in the first place, so, another win for transphobia i guess. though i can appreciate having a canon trans/genderfluid character, they definitely could have been written better in that regard

*while i love fem!he xuan... it did leave a kinda dirty taste in my mouth when mxtx had to make sure we knew that he xuan only did it to appease sqx, and actually hated being a woman. and the way it was talked about too like 'oh he was forced to be in a womans body so OF COURSE he was super pissed the entire time' like i cant explain it but it was just kind of upsetting. kinda transphobic and misogynist. one might even say,..... transmisogynist 🤔

this answer kinda ended up going on a tangent but yea lol thanks for the ask ^^

[dwter]

What do u think the big dsmp update is i think itl be something like a memory wipe or so idk idk what else it could be unless its like some big fight but ik cdream has something planned and lots of people on the server kinda like him ish (remmeber the line "everyones gonna think i changed while i make ur life a living hell") i think maybe wel get that also in dre and wilburs reddit post they make the point of cdream tormenting ctommy by bring back cwil clear 🤔

this shit is so long brah im so sorry but IM SO GLAD IVE FINALLY WRITTEN EVERYTHING IVE WANTED DOWN 😭🌟 ok click for my. Thoughts 🙌🏽

if its a memory wipe im killing myself Hope that helps BUT i also have a few reasons why i dont think it will be. a) i dont think the smp would be as enthusiastic as they seem to be for whatever dream has planned if it was a memory wipe. we can look at it from a passion/sentimentality point of “they care too much abt what theyve already put into the story/developing their characters” but even from a logic standpoint it makes no sense. no one on that server that very few ppl have motivation for would suddenly become excited at the idea of having to “start fresh” but not even genuinely start fresh as theyd still have to adhere to whats around them. plus having to remake dynamics that were heavily cc-based anyways takes so much effort specifically bc they would be different from the original lore which was build on, again, the ccs actual dynamics that evolved over time. i just dont see the ccs, esp someone like tommy for instance who has said hes excited for what dream has planned, to be motivated by any form of a memory wipe.

b) i feel like dream (cc) sees and understands the value in the dynamics that currently exist in the smp and wouldnt change and discard them to that extent, both as a storyteller/lorehead but also career/retention-wise. do i see him creating an event that fucks up/twists/moves around the dynamics? absolutely. completely amnesia tho? no. hes a smart guy and one of the people most invested in the lore (and probably the lore-based community as a result) he KNOWS what ppl like and what keeps them here and there no way he doesnt see the personalities, histories and evolved dynamics as what does that, at least partially

c) it would be too much work + wouldnt make people log on a lot or in massive crowds. usually what makes ppl log on both in large amounts and consistently is 1. a set goal/focus 2. knowing other ppl are on 3. being able to do what makes them comfortable. 1 and 2 are self explanatory but with 3 i mean that ppl who dont want to do lore/dont enjoy doing heavy intense lore where they have to be in character all the time would not like or be comfortable with a memory wipe where they have to pretend and stick to that basically the whole time, esp if they cant rmr each other. imagine someone like tubbo for instance wanting to slip into casualness and just play and half talk to chat half be involved and slipping up about the memory stuff and getting frustrated like thats super real. amnesia would be terrible for morale and is just too much investment for a ton of them and wouldnt motivate ppl to log on (at least in the long run)

ok now that ive explained myself about this: what do i think it could be

i am a huge believer in the apocalypse theory/things similar. it would be a perfect ripple in the dynamics currently set without damaging, eroding or erasing them. it also would be able to give a goal/focus for the ccs which is one of the biggest motivators for ppl logging on which is also part another motivator which is literally just ppl being there when u log on/logging on with u. and it also lets ppl interact with lore and intensely or casually as they want as there is nothing they have to commit to the whole time or force them to go in and out of “lore mode” awkwardly. they can do whatever they want and say whatever they want, it is just up to them how in character they want to be and they can hang out and be with whoever fits their vibes the best in that sense, or go back and forth.

it just does what the reboot/update SHOULD do: give purpose in playing again, refresh whats already there, make things less ridged, let ppl start fresh without actually starting fresh and most importantly: LETS PPL HAVE FUN! and whether fun is lore breathing into a mic for an hour or a chill mining stream to prepare for whatever the apocalypse has caused/is or just fucking with your friends—this specific kind of reboot lets all of those co-exist if they want it to.

as for ur ideas: in my heart of hearts i dont want to believe it but the “im going to make ur life a living hell etc” line seems to be referencing the boy who cried wolf plot which is. Dead in the ground i fear <- says through gritted teeth. i would LOVEEEEEE if that line became important again but i just feel like all its implications have kind of been abandoned, at least what they used to be. and about ppl mostly liking cdream hmmm ….. i dont know how much that will play a role if things got rebooted, especially regarding ctommy. i dont think anything like final disc finale but with cdream and ctommys role reversed will happen. no one/not enough ppl on the server is cdreampilled OR ctommynegpilled enough for anything like that. plus a big fight wouldnt cause this much excitement (although i do wonder if the revamp is partially pvp based bc with how excited cctommy sounded about it, it definitely could be. thats something he rly enjoys and likes about minecraft and dsmp like he mentioned it in the tribute video (like the battles he had with dream being his fav)). that last point IS interesting tho hmmm ….. maybe it was just stating a fact rather than it being foreshadowing? although cdream hasnt used cwilbur enough as leverage for me to think theyre done/didnt have anything else planned for that. either way tho, im not sure how much that involves the update since i think for it to make EVERYONE excited, it has to be something that involves the entire smp/affects it all/everyone, not just the big three

ANYWAYS thank u for reading all my rambles and thoughts if u made it this far anonnie or anyone else. i feel at peace now. mind body and soul. all at ease. 😊❤️

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[ayyponine]

litlerally no one asked but anyway. personal fan fiction tropes tier list

with full explanation bc if my friends and i had a power point party rn this would be my topic id subject them all to but bc of covid protecting them from my Opinions this is the only way to vent so

top tier: it’s about!! the mutual pine baby. its all about the oh i mustnt over step anything and make them uncomfortable :// stupid idiots over thinking and being sO considerate of each other that no ones willing to ruin the amicable bond by admitting they actually want to be held and possibly railed. its abt the hurt/comfort and yearning but not feeling like theyre ALLOWED anything too close to genuine affection until theres the baffled incredulous joy of clear mutual confirmation (with or without tearing up over unnecessary drama the entire confusion had caused) and then its gO time baby. things like amnesia and fake dating are specific examples of that bc it’s like oh theres more going on there than the other person is aware of in this dynamic but i cant i.. i mustnt, not until they verbally confirm they also want smth more which ofc is never going to happen so i shall be resigned to my fate of burning fiercely yet quietly for them.. sex pollen/fuck or die is a fun one to throw in there to make it spicy bc then you get repressed idiots suddenly HAVING to confront the mutual lusting like ohh nooo you only want me because of the drugs or pollen or whatever i mUSTNT take advantage of you in this fragile compromised state and the other one is like.... hghghgh im horny for you SPECIFICALLY and have been for MONTHS

2nd: yeah theyre alright. solid, reliable, approved. cant say i have much experience w arranged marriage (thats a trope? thats an entire genre in the fan community?) but ive read some thatre like what how can YOU be my soulmate? or fake relationship stuff where it slow burns into a deeper appreciation fr the other and getting to know/love them in full as they both learn to grow comfortable w opening up to letting that be discovered so eh ill take it. last three tropes in that row are more of those concrete situations that’ll like force a mutual pine/underlying thoughts to surface or to least have some personal realisations percolating in the build up to an eventual confession but i havent read a lot of those in a while and lbr drunken confessions are a lil sad and worrying, not quite as hot and straightforward as dude you either fuck.... or you DIE

mid tier: these are all so vague and could mean a million different things depending on the concrete material & pairing as well as how the writer gets it all down yknow. 100% depends on the fic summary in question. might fuck around and find out. if the historical genre in question is a regency au it might get bumped up a tier... we love bitches misunderstanding an advance at the ball or a chance meeting during an afternoon walk, hair tousled and face flush with the exercise. insert gif of 2020 emma mr knightley flinging his coat off and lying on the fuckng floor overcome

4th: idk i think if you fuck w it too much it gets too removed frm canon and becomes its own entirely new thing so i lose interest. w crossovers i think it’s either i don’t know the other thing referenced, i don’t care enough to see the things merged as an au, or i feel like ive already seen enough of that one specific trope people will copy and paste frm the other medium and it’s just like.. meh.. i’ll fuck with fluff or smth dark on a rare occasion but both of em can make me uncomfortable so it rlly depends on my mood of the day tbh

bottom tier: watch me put crack and humor in the “fuck no” category because im not here to have fun i didnt come here to make friends. college and school is also out because i am an entire 28 yr old so either it’s about characters all more than 10 yrs my junior being minors with high school crushes and fighting w their parents or there’s some typa fucky power dynamics going on which, having BEEN sort of a teacher at some point in life, just has me like, lol ew no... even if theyre both college teachers im just like listen i dont care abt academia. imma look fr my faves having cooler au jobs like tattoo artist, gardener, body guard, phone sex operator, marine biologist the wORLD is my oyster man... anyway miss me with the truly heart breaking shit like str8 up death like thats the single quickest way to get me out. unrequited/love triangles is allowed only when it ends in some type of poly revelations but if people end up sad and alone i’ll pass. cute domestic fluff involving raising a child MIGHT make the reading list but i’ll take single parent with kid SUPER enthusiastically rooting fr them to get with the sweet and genuine kindergarten teacher/local barista/new neighbour any day of the week over an entire pregnancy and giving birth thing thanks. also established relationship? very bottom of the barrel fr me personally. we love bitches getting together. we love introspection, working up to a confession and  the joy and relief of getting to that first kiss babey thats what its abOUT

[prometheanglory]

tagged by @/edda-blattfe! thanks for the tag !

fic prefs: aaaaaa i’m a rly big fan of angst and drama? kvjdfbh generally speaking I only read fics rated mature and up, but if it’s got the potential for emotional evisceration then i’m already eyeing it up 👀 that being said, i don’t like fics that go too hammy on the angst and always resorting to death and or having to break down screaming and crying or something lol i’m incredibly picky w/ angst. i’m very much for symbolism and introspection.... love me some nuanced  feelings. huge fan of fics with flavors of self-imposed destruction or kinda. impulsive crash and burn?? i’m NOT here for woobies, i need... self-awareness of being Awful... IF I WALK AWAY FROM IT WITH FEELINGS THAT I CAN’T PLACE (in a good way) THEN UGH. YES!!!

slow burn or love at first sight ? (I’M A LITTLE BITCH FOR SLOW BURN I LOVE IT SO MUCH...THE YEARNING.... THE YEARNING!!!)

fake dating or secretly dating ? (i cant pick LMAO i like them both. fake dating bc there’s the inevitable Slip, secret dating bc of the need to hide away.. good stuff.)

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers ? (i like the Gradual Shift and the difficulties of moving on from ur past habits... like YES.)

“oh no there’s only one bed” or long distance correspondence? ( :-) hehehe )

hurt / comfort or amnesia ? (generally speaking i don’t rly read hurt/comfort but i get kinda bored of amnesia fics.)

fantasy au or modern au ? ( modern aus usually just fall into the same pitfalls and i get kinda bored ! fantasy always good fun ! ) 

mutual pining or domestic bliss ? ( mmmm :] it’s just ! exciting to read about two people chasing after each other )

smut or fluff ? (horny on main LMAO but yeah. shit b hitting differently. takes a skilled hand to effectively write smut and not bore the reader. bonus points if you throw in extra emotions outside of ‘i need to bang rn’, i’m fond of the smut fics that got a double sided blade. hit me with that subtle angst or I Am So Entranced By You. EMOTIONAL HIGHS YEAH )

canon complement / missing scenes or fix it ? (i like both ? but if i honestly if i had to chose, canon complement can rly emphasize and heighten the emotional impact of a scene bc the fics can dive much further than the actual source could have due to time constraints or something ! )

one shot or multi chapter ? (depends ! but generally i like multichapter things)

kid fic or road trip ? ( hmm.... hard question. i don’t really read either of these, but i think i’d choose road trip just because it’s got good potential for character interactions bc ur stuck in the same tiny space LMAO. )

reincarnation or character’s death ? (HONESTLY. I LOVE REINCARNATION IF ITS DONE IN A RLY SPECIFIC WAY BUT. yknow sometimes u just prefer it when they die and its done with. something very, clean cut about it. room for introspection and processing how exactly the death is affecting them?? love it. )

arranged marriage or accidental marriage ? (GOOD SLOWBURN POTENTIAL. SO MUCH GOOD SLOW BURN POTENTIAL. )

neighbors or roommates ? (aint no better way to learn about each other than being crammed in the same place)

high-school romance or middle-aged romance ? (idk. good jaded potential. i like it. a nice mature flare to things outside of the usual genre of ‘teenage fling’. that being said though, middle-aged flings are very much welcomed.) 

time travel or isolated together ? (lot’s of freedom here)

sci-fi au or magic au ? (i haven’t seen many sci fi aus for the things that i read rip so this an unfair advantage)

body swap or genderbend ? (i don’t rly read these fics ! but if i had to, i’d read bodyswap just because)

angst or crack ? ( i think i already exposed myself as an angst/drama maniac through my previous answers. I JUST RLY. LIKE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY. PLEASE DEAR GOD SHOW ME EFFECTIVE EMOTIONAL WRITING WITH AN INCREDIBLE AND UNIQUE ATMOSPHERE.)

apocalyptic or mundane ? ( KICK ASS AND SURVIVE. also i just like the angst and desperation potential that comes with apocalyptic. not so much an ‘edgy grimdark one-note tale’ but i like the possible exploration of tragedy and hope. ) honestly if u see this, ur tagged. go. do it. i need u to do it. i cannot be the only clown in this circus. (but just in case. hi yume ily homie @briarrosescurse)

[sparklyloverjudge]

Shouto with DID AU

This had been probably in development for maybe a month now. Disclaimer I am not an expert on DID, and if you wanna know more in depth I could find some articles that go more in depth then I ever could. This is only for a story I have in mind.

The jist of DID would be more than one alter sharing a body bc of repeated trauma through the ages between 7-9.

Idk when I just got so excited about this idea, bit I've been thinking of so many things since this idea sprung up on me. I had to search for so many names, and then I had to figure out what that alters personality would be and what they would and wouldn't know.

Shouto would be the one from birth, and bc of the amnesia barriers to protect him I dont think he'll know what exactly Enji does to him, but he knows that Enji is a terrifying person. He will mostly likely have the good memories of his mother, and he misses his mother very much.

His protectors would be the people who would front whenever something bad is happening that one person cant handle. Basically would be the ones who "train" with Enji.

I also need a nonhuman. This DOES NOT mean that they are strong enough to take Enji down bc they are no longer human. What nonhuman means is how that child felt in that moment that they no longer feel human. I've thought of ghost thinking about Rei pouring water on Shouto.

There are littles, I haven't figured out how they'll be implemented or what memories they will have, but they are children and will act as such.

This story I want it to be as accurate as possible for DID. It will mostly be centered around Shouto, and how difficult it will be for him and his system to be pro heroes (I haven't decided if they will or wont be a hero) Fire will most likely be something that upsets them along with agression of some sort. So being near Bakugo will be very difficult for them could cause spitting or panic attacks depending on who's fronting.

I've thought about their quirk. I am not gonna give eat alter a quirk bc one that's too many, and a lot of preparation for each alter. I probably have about 10 alters and over 100 names. SO IN CONCLUSION they will be keeping the half ice/fire quirk although if they use it to its fullest or not is a different story. Though there should be angsty dont use fire quirk alter. Which could be a persecutor (actually no they will most likely use fire or be an aggressor themselves) or could be a protector since they would mostly likely be dealing with Enji or anyone who has access to those memories.

I am very passionate about this AU, and I know that this will probably be the hardest thing for me to put together. I want to write this I really do, but for Shouto and his system to realize that they have DID and how difficult it would be to be a peo hero. Like I wouldn't call it angst, but it seems very angsty.

[mastcrplanncr-a]

issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.

first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.

Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:

he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.

i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.

In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.

my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?

and my friend was like:

LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.

THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?

anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:

isn’t that what he really wants?

Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.

some nice guilt there, huh, doc?

ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:

LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...

and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .

first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?

it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?

also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.

and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,

which starline does quite pointedly explain.

As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.

also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.

also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?

NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?

i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.

im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!

i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie

also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)

Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.

MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.

is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo

future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.

I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.

first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.

also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.

ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.

gonna go cry about an egg now brb

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!