mizinha-barreto

[judgementkazukun]

META // NAME MEANING

Japanese names put the family name before the given name, unlike English names which put the given name before the family name. People also generally are addressed by their surnames in Japan except for within families or with close friends. Hence why pretty much everyone calls him Kiryu in the series.

Side note: When translating their names to English, many Japanese will also switch the order of the names. (At the very least, this is the custom for the Japanese members of the multinational company I work for irl.) So in an English-speaking country, he would likely introduce himself as "Kazuma Kiryu."

Japanese kanji are taken from Chinese characters, but unlike Chinese, Japanese cannot be written entirely in them. Hiragana and katakana which were derived from kanji are syllabic scripts and far more commonly used. Kanji is not syllabic, so you could have two words (or names) with the same hiragana that have totally different kanji thus totally different meanings. This is important for Kiryu's name because of reasons.

Kiryu (Kiryū): 桐生

桐 - Paulownia (a type of hardwood tree)

生 - Life, genuine, or birth

Kiryu being a "genuine" yakuza due to his honor is one of the running themes in the series. Additionally the man just does not die easily, even when actively putting himself in situations that he should definitely not have survived in terms of probability.

ryu/ryū is actually the romaji for one way that the kanji for dragon (龍 or 竜) can be pronounced. This seems to be a play on words of some kind as I do not think it's a coincidence that the character they gave the title The Dragon of Dojima has a syllable in his name that at least sounds like the word for dragon. I was actually surprised when I saw that the kanji for his name didn't line up with that. (The kanji for Ryuji Goda's name is 郷田 龍司 and does include the kanji for dragon directly. Ryuji wanting to be the only dragon and having the kanji for dragon in his name I think is very fitting for his very in-your-face personality.)

Interestingly, Kiryu is the name of both a city and a river in the Gunma prefecture of the Kanto region. Both use the same kanji as Kiryu's name. In Shinto, Japanese dragons are considered kami and often associated with bodies of water such as rivers. I cannot find all that much information about this river in English, unfortunately, so I'm unsure if there's any further significance, but I do have the strong feeling that the fact he shares his name with that of a river isn't a coincidence.

Kazuma: 一馬

一: One, alone

馬: Horse

First of all, RGG Studios looked at their characters and said "If we don't put the kanji for the number one in their names how will people know they're the protagonist?" considering Ichiban's kanji (一番) just literally means first. Given the everything about Kiryu, I wouldn't doubt that this is a reference both to the number one with him being as prominent a figure in the Tojo Clan as he is and also a reference to him being literally alone and lonely which, ever since the first game, when everyone close to him has the audacity to die, is something he finds himself grappling with again and again throughout the series.

Also, according to a random, very outdated website I've just found on Japanese names (that I trust maybe 33% to be reliable) 馬 can also just be a placeholder for a large animal used as a metaphor (like maybe... a very large, reptilian animal similar to a lizard of some kind?) or it can be used as a reference to the shogi knight piece or the shogi dragon horse piece. The dragon horse is the promoted bishop and considered the second most powerful piece in shogi, with the dragon king (promoted king) being the only one above it. Again, this could be a coincidence, but is it? I don't doubt they would want to throw every reference to 'dragon' possible at Kiryu without outright using the dragon kanji.

In conclusion: Dragon Kin? Horse Boy? Furry? Scaley? All of the above? I have no idea. But I am so glad that they potentially made multiple convoluted references to dragons in his name when they could have done what they did with Ryuji and just fucking used the damn kanji. Literally nothing was stopping them. We get it. The Dragon symbolism is very important for him.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Finale

64.media.tumblr.com

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, mentions of memory loss, guilt, mentions of car accident, anxiety, angst, trauma, confusion, swearing

Matt's POV

I walked back the way we came, trying to spot Y/n. In the distance I notice a familiar car, one that I only recoginse from being parked outside Y/n’s apartment. It had to be her. Then, before I could stop myself, I found myself driving again. My hands on the wheel, heading toward the one place I knew she’d be. I let the group know they would have to Uber home, I wasn’t too sure how long this was going to take me.

When I stepped into the LA Kings Valley Ice Center, it was almost eerie how quiet it was. The place was practically empty, saved for one lone figure gliding across the ice.

I knew it was her before I even saw her face.

Y/n moved on the ice with such ease, such grace, she was born for it. Watching her skate was like watching poetry in motion. But seeing her there, knowing the way things were the last time we were here, made my chest tighten. I wanted to go to her, to explain everything, to tell her how much I had missed her, but I couldn’t move.

I stood there, frozen, until she attempted a jump, the triple Axel. But she fell. I could sense the disappointment in her, I knew she could do it, I’ve seen her do it. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, my voice breaking the silence. “You know you can do it, Y/n.”

She turned, her eyes wide with surprise as she spotted me standing by the edge of the rink. “What.. what are you doing here?” She asked, her voice shaky as she stood up, brushing the ice off her pants.

Shit. I didn’t know what to say. I was tired of the front I was putting up. I knew it was time to be vulnerable.

“I knew you’d be here..” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but my heart was pounding.

"Wait, how did you-"

"I know you better than anyone else, Y/n," I interrupted. It was the truth. Even if she couldn’t remember everything, I did. I remembered every detail about her, every little thing that made her who she was.

She shook her head, disbelief written across her face. “How could you say that when I don’t even know myself anymore?” Her voice cracked, and it broke something inside me to see her like this, so lost, so unsure.

Standing at the edge of the rink, I watched Y/n, my heart pounding in my chest. “Maybe not” I admitted, stepping forward slowly, careful not to push her away. “But I know the you standing right here, right now. The you who comes to this rink when the world gets too heavy. The you who still feels at home on the ice, even if everything else feels out of control.”

I could see the impact of my words on her face. They impacted her, revealing a truth she didn’t want to confront. As much as she might want to push me away and deny it, in that moment, I felt like I saw her more clearly than she saw herself. But as I spoke, I noticed the tension building in her, the way she held back emotions she had buried for too long. I could feel her vulnerability, and I knew she was struggling with everything inside her.

“I don’t even understand why you’re here, Matt.” she finally said, her voice cracking slightly. The words slipped out, raw and honest. She needed answers, and I had to give them to her.

For a moment, silence enveloped us, thick and heavy. I could see the confusion in her eyes, and I understood it all too well. “I’m here because I couldn’t stay away any longer. I need to tell you everything." I said, my voice was quiet but steady. I looked into her eyes, and I could feel the weight of what was about to unfold.

“I know you’re confused, Y/n, and I don’t blame you. I should’ve been more honest with you from the start, but everything got so messed up.” The regret poured out of me, and I hoped she could sense my sincerity.

Before I knew it I was telling her everything about us. Our whole story together. The double date. My house party. Coming back for her after dropping off Emily. Playing Mario Kart. Alex’s fight. Emily and Alex going to Europe. Trying to cut her off. Nicks friendship with her. Topgolf. Venice beach. All the times I wanted to kiss her. Our first kiss. Our first night spent together. And every little bit in between. The nostalgia washed over me, reminding me of the joy we had shared. “I cared about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn’t even do that right.”

The weight of what I had to share next felt heavy in the air. “The night before Alex and Emily came home from Europe, Nick and Chris went to our friend Tara’s party. It was just the two of us in my house, and you told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought that was it. Our way out. I was ready, Y/n. I was ready to walk away from Emily and start something real with you.”

I paused, reaching into my pocket to pull out the missing earring I had kept, The missing earring felt symbolic. As soon as she lost it, I lost her out of my life. “It must’ve fallen off in my bed when you passed out that night. You never knew this part.. but Emily found it before I could confront her. She blackmailed me. She told me that if I left her, she’d ruin your life. She’d tell Alex everything and twist it. I didn’t know what else to do. I was a coward. I should’ve fought for us, but I didn’t. She made me go to that party with her the night… I didn’t expect you to be there.”

The pain washed over me again. How clueless to everything Y/n was this whole time. "I saw the confusion on your face as you looked at me, and I felt torn between what I wanted to do and what I had to do. I wanted to pull you close, to tell you how much I cared, but instead, I had to watch you from the sidelines. I found you in the bathroom, and that was when everything spiraled. I told you that what we had was a mistake,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “That it was over.”

Even though she couldn’t fully recall it, I could see the emotional scar in her eyes. I knew I shattered her heart that night, and I’d never forgive myself for it.

“You were devastated, Y/n. I saw it in your eyes. And I’m not going to act like I wasn’t devastated too, even though I had to pretend then.” My voice broke, and I took a shaky breath, the weight of my confession choking me. “I shattered your heart in that bathroom. And then.. you ran. You ran into the street.”

The horror of that night flashed in my mind like a haunting reel. My hands trembled as I brought them to my face, trying to shield myself from the memory.

“I tried to stop you. I tried to yell at you from the balcony…” I whispered, my heart racing as I relived it. “The last thing I heard you say was that you loved me. I know you were about to say you thought I loved you too, but I cut you off. I told you to get off the road... and then-”

The words got stuck in my throat, the pain too much to bear. I pressed my palms against my face, wishing I could push the memories away, but they lingered, tormenting me.

“It’s my fault.” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “All of it. You were only on that road because I made you believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Y/n. It was the realest thing I’ve ever had. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And I’ve been grieving you ever since.”

My confession hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with the truth of it all. The anger, confusion, and longing I’d felt since waking up in the hospital crashed over me like a tsunami wave, each feeling more overwhelming than the last.

“And I’m so sorry I never fought for you. I know I should’ve, but then Alex appeared in the hospital. You couldn’t remember me. He was acting like you were still together. You had no memory of us, and I had caused you enough pain as it was. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be easier for you, that you could heal without me dragging you back into the chaos. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”

The silence between us grew thick, filled with all the unspoken words and feelings that had been buried beneath layers of hurt. I could see the regret etched across my own face, the guilt weighing heavily on my shoulders.

“I thought I could forget you, that maybe it would make everything simpler,” I admitted, my voice trembling as I fought back tears. “But you’re unforgettable.”

I stepped closer, desperation clawing at my heart. “Y/n, I’ve spent every day since that night wishing I could take it all back. Even how I acted so standoff-ish around you. It’s because I love you. I always have.”

“I want to show you that what we had was real. I want you to relive it all. I want to fight for you, if you’ll let me.”

Y/n stood there for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared at me. I could see the conflict in her expression, the pain that lingered from everything that had happened between us. My heart pounded in my chest, unsure of what would come next. I’d just laid it all out for her. Everything I’d held back, everything I wished I could’ve changed. Now it was up to her to decide.

Then, without warning, she moved.

Before I could even process it, she was in my arms, her body crashing against mine as her arms wrapped tightly around me. She held on like I was her lifeline, clinging to me for dear life, and all I could do was wrap my arms around her in return, holding her just as tightly.

I felt her shoulders shake, her breath hitching against my chest as the tears she’d been holding back finally fell. The sound of her quiet sobs broke something deep inside of me, and I buried my face in her hair, trying to ground myself in the moment. She was here, in my arms, and she hadn’t pushed me away.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered into her hair, my voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry for everything, Y/n.”

She didn’t say anything, just held on tighter, as if letting go would cause everything to shatter again. I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt, and it took everything in me not to break down right there with her. I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, her touch. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

We stood like that for what felt like forever, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking. Just the sound of her quiet cries and the soft hum of the ice rink around us. I felt her heartbeat against mine, her body trembling slightly as she let out everything she had been holding inside.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll earn it back” I promised, my voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”

She stared at me for a long moment, her bottom lip trembling, before resting her forehead against my chest, letting out a shaky breath. Her arms loosened around me, but she didn’t pull away completely.

Y/n’s POV

I was astonished by everything I’d just heard but yet, I still felt that familiar pull to Matt again, the same one that had confused me for so long. It was almost like a battle between my head and my heart. One telling me to run, the other urging me to stay. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as the weight of everything hit me. All I wanted in that moment was his touch, some kind of reassurance that everything wasn’t broken beyond repair. Before I could even process what I was doing, my arms were wrapped around him, holding on tight, because I couldn’t wrap my head around anything else.

Tears streamed down my face as I buried myself into his chest, my sobs muffled against his shirt. It felt like everything had been building to this moment, all the pain, the confusion, the heartbreak. It all came pouring out.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” I whispered, my voice fragile, like it might shatter under the weight of those words.

“I’ll earn it back.” Matt promised, his voice thick with emotion, like he was holding on just as tightly to this moment as I was. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”

I pulled back just enough to look at him, my eyes still blurry with tears. His face was full of guilt, regret, and something else. A kind of desperation, maybe, like he was afraid this would be the last time he’d have me in his arms. My bottom lip trembled, and I placed my head against his chest again. I wasn’t sure If I was ready to fully let him back in, but I wasn’t ready to let him go either.

Everything felt so overwhelming, but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to feel this crushing weight, at least not right now.

“Can we just skate for a bit?” I asked softly, my voice barely audible.

Matt nodded, his hand brushing gently against my back. “Yeah, of course.”

I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as we made our way to the ice. The rink was still completely empty, the perfect setting for this strange, emotional reunion. I stepped onto the ice first, the cool air hitting my face as I glided forward, stinging it in the process.

Matt followed, his steps surprisingly graceful. I turned back, watching as he moved along without falling.

“Wait, did you play hockey?” I asked, curious and a little impressed by how well he was keeping up.

He looked at me, shocked. “You remember that?” His voice was filled with hope, like this small memory coming back meant more than I realized.

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Yeah, it just came to me.”

The tension between us seemed to ease a little as we skated, the ice beneath us smoothing out some of the jagged edges of our past. It wasn’t perfect, and I still wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but for now, this was enough. Just us, on the ice, trying to figure out if there’s a way back to something real.

We skated in silence for a few minutes until Matt broke it. “You should try the triple Axel.”

I turned to him, caught off guard. “What? No, I fucked it up completely there. I can barely keep my balance, and”

“I’ve seen you do it before, Y/n,” Matt said, cutting me off, his voice firm but encouraging. “You’ve nailed it before, and I know you can do it again. Don’t overthink it.”

I shook my head, nervousness creeping in. “I don’t know if I-”

“You’ve got this.” he insisted, skating in front of me, blocking my path. “Just trust yourself. Don’t think. Just do.”

I could see the belief in his eyes, and it made me pause. Matt wasn’t letting me give in to this fear. His faith in me was stronger than the doubt clawed at my thoughts.

I took a deep breath and skated to the other end of the rink, giving myself enough space to build momentum. My heart raced as I picked up speed, every nerve in my body tingling. Matt skated to the edge, watching, his eyes never leaving me.

“Don’t overthink it!” he called out again, his voice echoing in the empty rink.

I closed my eyes for a second, trying to push out all the noise in my head. Then I opened them, focused on the ice in front of me, and went for it. I launched myself into the air, spinning once, twice, three times. My body moved on instinct, and before I knew it, I was back on the ice, landing perfectly.

I did it.

Shock and excitement rushed through me as I stopped, barely believing what had just happened. “I.. I did it!” I shouted, my voice full of disbelief.

Matt’s grin stretched wide across his face. In an instant, he was skating toward me, sweeping me off my feet and spinning me around in the air. I laughed, the sound light and free, as Matt twirled me with pure joy.

“You did it!” he exclaimed, his voice full of pride as he set me down gently but kept his arms around me. “I told you, Y/n, I knew you could do it.”

I was still buzzing from the adrenaline, from the excitement of actually nailing it after all this time. I looked up at him, my breath a little shaky, my heart pounding. “I can’t believe it.”

He smiled, brushing a stray hair from my face. “Believe it. You’re incredible.”

Everything felt simple again, just me, the ice, and Matt. Nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the mistakes, just this moment of pure triumph.

“Wait, wait,” Matt said, a mischievous grin forming on his face. “You remember that time you taught me how to spin? Let me show you again.”

I laughed, stepping back to give him room as he attempted a clumsy spin. He twirled once, his arms outstretched, and I couldn’t help but laugh harder when he wobbled, barely keeping his balance. The look on his face was priceless. Full of pride, like he’d just nailed a perfect routine.

He straightened up, beaming. “See? I’ve still got it.”

Watching him, I felt a warmth spread through me, a joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This is fun. I enjoy this. I enjoy his company. I enjoy him. Maybe I need to trust him. Maybe it’s time to let go of the past. Maybe this was the safest way to go. Maybe this is the way it was always meant to go.

I skated closer to him, my heart racing but not with fear this time. It was something else. Something that felt right. I stopped on the ice, meeting his gaze, and in that moment, it felt like everything clicked into place.

“I want this.” I said, my voice steady but soft, surprising even myself as the words came out.

Matt’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of hope and disbelief crossing his face. “You do?”

“Yes.” I said, the certainty in my voice growing. “I want this. I want us.”

Before I could say anything more, Matt closed the distance between us, his hands gently cradling my face as he leaned in. Our lips met, the kiss soft at first, but filled with all the emotions that had been building between us for so long.

It felt like everything I’d been holding in, every doubt, every fear, melted away in that kiss. All that was left was him. Us. And for the first time in a long time, my memory felt clear.

In the following weeks, Matt and I decided to relive everything but in a new way. It felt like starting over, but with all the memories, feelings, and experiences guiding us. Our first group outing after reconnecting was to Golf’N’Stuff. Mini-golfing, of course, since Matt had made it very clear that I was absolutely terrible at hitting a golf ball any other way. He never let me live down the disaster that was Topgolf, but this time, it was going to be different.

We arrived at the course, our usual group with us, Chris, Nick, Nate, and Madi. Funny enough, Madi turned out to be the girl who was with them at the beach that night, and now I felt so ridiculous for letting myself feel jealous. It was nice to rekindle my friendship with her too and I couldn’t believe I’d ever thought otherwise.

As we made our way around the course, everyone’s competitive sides came out, especially Chris and Nate, who turned it into some sort of showdown between the two of them. Madi and Nick were more laidback, laughing at the chaos and whispering to each other as they played. But Matt? He was glued to my side, teasing me every time I lined up a shot.

“Come on, Y/n” Matt smirked, watching me carefully aim. “Don’t mess this one up. The hole’s right there.”

I shot him a playful glare. “Watch and learn.”

To my own surprise, and everyone else's, I managed to get a hole in one. I threw my hands up in victory, letting out a cheer as Matt’s jaw dropped.

“Are you kidding me?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re hustling us.”

“Oh, please” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m just that good at mini golf.”

As the game went on, I kept surprising myself. Shot after shot, I was actually doing well. By the time we reached the last hole, it was obvious. I was going to win.

Matt leaned over, giving me a mocking look. “Alright, Y/n, if you win this.. I might have to accept defeat. But just know, you’ll never beat me at Topgolf.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Challenge accepted. Do you see these swings now? It’s called growth.”

I lined up my final shot, feeling a little pressure from everyone watching. But I took a deep breath, focused, and hit the ball just right. It rolled smoothly across the green and dropped into the hole.

“I win!” I cheered, jumping up and down with excitement. The group groaned playfully, but everyone was smiling.

Matt wrapped his arms around me, lifting me slightly off the ground. “Alright, you win this round, mini golf champion.”

The victory felt good, but what felt even better was how natural everything had become again. The laughter, the teasing, the warmth of being with the people I cared about. I wasn’t just rebuilding my relationship with Matt. I was reconnecting with all of them, creating new memories to replace the ones that were lost.

Our first solo date was to Santa Monica Pier, Pacific Park, to be exact. It felt close enough to Venice, where so much had happened between us, but it was still new territory. A fresh start. The moment we stepped onto the boardwalk, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. It wasn’t just about spending the evening together. It was about creating something new, something just for us.

The sun was setting, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as we made our way toward the rides. Matt had that familiar, easy grin on his face, and it was contagious. We grabbed some candy floss as we walked, his arm casually draped over my shoulder as he teased me about the way I was already eyeing the Ferris wheel.

"First ride?" he asked, pointing toward the towering wheel spinning in slow circles.

"Obviously, I have to ease you in first" I laughed, taking a bite of the cotton candy. "But after that, you’re going on the roller coaster with me."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you think I’m scared of the roller coaster?"

"I know you are" I teased. "But we’ll see if you can handle it."

We got in line for the Ferris wheel, and as soon as we were in the little gondola, the world seemed to slow down. The view of the ocean stretched endlessly in front of us, and for a few moments, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. The sunset began casting orange and pink hues across the sky, and the calm of the water below was the perfect setting.

“This is nice” I said softly, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“It’s perfect” he replied, his arm tightening around me. “No distractions. Just us.”

When the ride ended, we headed straight for the next ride. Pacific Plunge, the sign read. Matt tried to act cool, but I could see the slight hesitation in his eyes. Still, he followed me into the line, determined not to back down.

As we sat in the car, I couldn’t help but grin. "Ready?"

"Always" he replied, though I could hear a hint of nerves in his voice.

The ride took off, and the thrill of the drops of the tower made me laugh uncontrollably. I glanced at Matt during the ride, and his expression was priceless. He was holding on for dear life, but there was a smile on his face too.

When we got off, he shook his head, laughing. “Alright, fine. You win this one.”

“Told you” I teased, bumping into him lightly. “But you handled it well.”

The rest of the evening was filled with more rides - the bumper cars, where Matt definitely gave me a run for my money, and the spinning swings, where we both got dizzy but couldn’t stop laughing. We played some carnival games, too, and Matt even won me a stuffed animal from the ring toss game, though I suspected the worker might’ve rigged it in his favor.

By the time we decided to leave, the lights of Pacific Park were twinkling against the night sky, and the pier was still bustling with energy. We walked along the boardwalk, hand in hand, the sounds of laughter and the distant hum of the carousel filling the air.

“This was a good day,” I said, smiling up at him.

“The best.” he replied, squeezing my hand gently. “We needed this.”

And he was right. It was exactly what we needed. A new experience, something just for us, without the weight of everything that had happened before. Just us, having fun, and building something real again.

And that brings us to the present day. Six months later and a five-and-a-half-hour flight to Boston. The city skyline faded behind us as we pulled up to Matt's family home, and his excitement was contagious.

“I can’t wait to introduce my mom and dad to my girlfriend.” Matt grinned, glancing over at me with that same boyish smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.

My mind jumped back to the memory of him asking me a few months ago. How I woke up one morning, to blueberry pancakes, cut up in to letters reading “Will U B my GF”. It was things like that that made me love Matt. The little things. He just got me.

As we stepped out of the car, I felt a mix of nerves and excitement. Meeting his family was a big step, but the way he held my hand tightly in his reassured me. We walked up the pathway, and before we even reached the door, it swung open to reveal his parents, Mary-Lou and Jimmy, both smiling warmly, arms outstretched to welcome us.

“You must be Y/n!” Mary-Lou said as she embraced me, her warmth immediately putting me at ease. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

"It’s so nice to meet you too!" I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders ease. Jimmy gave me a friendly handshake, then pulled me into a hug.

Over the course of the afternoon, we had endless conversations, swapping stories and laughs. It felt natural, like I’d known them for years. At some point, Mary-Lou turned to me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“I heard you’ve qualified for the Olympics?” she asked with a proud smile.

“Yeah I can’t believe it!” I replied, glancing over at Matt with a smile. “I have Matt to thank for pushing me to get back into it.”

“That’s amazing! Getting to be a part of the Olympics in your hometown!” Mary-Lou beamed, and Jimmy nodded in approval.

The moment felt surreal. A far cry from where I was just a few months ago, lost and unsure. But here I was, not only finding my way back to skating but also standing beside someone who believed in me, maybe even more than I believed in myself.

Later that evening, after dinner and more stories shared around the table, Matt and I stepped outside onto the porch, the cool Boston air wrapping around us. The stars were out, scattered across the night sky, and everything felt peaceful. He stood next to me, his arm slipping around my waist as we looked out at the view.

“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.” Matt said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. To be here with you now.”

I looked up at him, my heart swelling. "I think I'm the lucky one" I whispered. “You gave me a reason to believe in myself again.”

He turned to face me fully, his eyes locking onto mine with that familiar intensity. “We did this together.” he said softly. “I’m just so glad I get to share all of it with you.”

And then, under the stars and in the quiet of the night, he kissed me slowly, tenderly, like we had all the time in the world. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. A promise of everything we had built, everything we were, and everything that was still to come.

“I love you” I whispered, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze.

“I love you too” he replied, his eyes shining with so much emotion it nearly took my breath away.

And in that moment, I knew - this was exactly how things were meant to be.

NEW CHRIS SERIES HERE

a/n : and just like that, we're finished :( my first ever fic. thank you so so so sooooo much to every single person that has supported this and given it so much love over the last 2 months. this fic and everyone reading it helped me through a breakup of a 10 year relationship and i’ll always be grateful. it was so fun to write and im so sad its an end of an era. I now have a general taglist here if anyone would like to be on it just interact with the post. thank you so much again for everything <3 a new chris series is coming soon!

Snowy <3

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @lvrsturniolo @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit @pvssychicken @starkeyszn @matts-girlfriend

[merbear25]

based off the hcs where their s/o was an inch taller than them: how about kid, killer n law w an s/o thats SIGNIFICANTLY taller them, like 2 or more ft taller ?

Ayo~ I loved thinking about this and can't deny that you chose some good options for me to have a bit more fun with. I hope you like what I've written for you. 💜💜

Original ask

CW: SFW, gn!reader, headcanons, some fluff, some humor

With a s/o who’s much taller (Kid, Killer, Law)

Kid

He was not used to feeling so, well, small. Even when he faced enemies that were monstrously bigger, he thought nothing of it.

Perhaps it had to do with the way you peered down at him with that silly love sick look upon your face. 

He huffed at you when you gave him that look, turning away in wild blush. 

“Don’t give me that!” which was always followed by you asking, “What am I doing?” as you leaned down. His flustered expression had him stomping off, while mumbling, “I’m not that short,” to himself, despite you never mentioning his height.

If you had long hair, letting it fall in a way that framed him would make his heart beat so fast it was as if it was going to pop out of his chest. There was an undeniable beauty to you which caught him off guard at times.

Giving him pet names that related to his height in ANY way was going to make him pout and grumble. 

He’d shout at you, defending his height, which wasn’t short enough for you to be giving him so many nicknames. Nuh-uh. And he made sure you knew that through the yipping and barking he gave you in protest.

Killer

There wasn’t anything that he didn’t adore about you. In fact, he kind of liked how tall you were.

He felt as if he was “fun-sized” as you put it, which he couldn’t help laughing at. Seeing as you favored teasing him, he eventually started calling you “king-sized” to continue the trend of candy inspired pet names.

All teasing was done with an understanding that it wasn’t meant to be taken personally. He poked fun at you just as much as you did him. Light-hearted retorts and comically dramatic reactions, of which he wasn’t the best actor. However, you weren’t either and that made it that much more fun.

It wasn’t often that he took notice of the height difference. Of course, it was obvious, but to him you were just you. Plus, he liked looking up at you in order to see your beauty catching the rays of the sun before anything else did.

Being physically affectionate would make him melt. He adored being held by you, letting himself curl up in your arms.

If you were ever self-conscious about your height, he would never fail to lift your spirits by showering you with compliments and helping you realize the uniqueness it brought you.

Law

The difference in height didn’t matter to him, and he especially didn’t care about the jokes you made. Not. In. The. Slightest. Because he was very secure in his height. Mmhm.

He found you breathtaking and your height only amplified your show stopping beauty. That being said, you being as tall as you were could be quite annoying.

There were plenty of things he had no issue getting himself. “I’m perfectly capable!” He shouted in a flustered spat. You left him to it, not wanting to bother him further. Afterwards, 9 times out of 10 he realized he actually needed your help but was too embarrassed to ask for it now.

There were undeniable advantages though. If you went to a concert together, you could offer him a better view. He’d refuse the offer, denying that he needed it…but as the concert continued, he’d let you pick him up. 

Any teasing following this would make him pout in the corner and would undoubtedly lead to him giving you the cold shoulder.

His insistent moping around always came off as a bit over dramatic. You had to be the one to speak up first, otherwise it would go on forever.

He might not admit it, but he actually enjoyed it when you wrapped your arms around him from behind—it made him feel secure. Giving him an embrace like this would melt that iced shoulder he had towards you.

[howlett-variants]

"I've got you"

a/n: I love Charlie Kenton sm, he deserves more love. Also, I haven't written an X reader fic in like 10 years forgive me.

Prompt: Charlie gets his ass kicked, thankfully he has you to patch him up! Words: 2,975 Tags: gn!reader, post movie, hurt/comfort, Charlie is very dog coded to me and I don't know how to tag things anymore

You could have never guessed your day to go like this. Work had been boring as all hell. The only thing keeping you going was the thought of getting to hang out with those you cared about most over at Tallets Gym. Bailey was basically your closest friend at this point. She was kind and caring but could always match your energy- especially if that energy was being angry with Charlie. Speaking of Charlie, seeing him was always one of the best parts of your day. Even when he was being an idiot, or impulsive, or both- he always knew how to put a smile on your face. Which was much needed after a boring day at work. You even looked forward to seeing Max most days. The kid was the spitting image of his father when it came to personality, which definitely had its downsides. Max was probably the most independent eleven-year-old you’ve ever met- he was always determined to do stuff by himself. Even if he ended up asking you or Bailey for help in the end. Things were never boring with the Kentons. 

Today would be no exception.

Your phone rang mere moments before you were about to park in front of the rundown gym.

“Hel-” You started, but were quickly cut off by the sound of your good friend Bailey in a panic.

“Charlies hurt.” “What?” “Max just called, and he’s freaking out-” You could hear her voice quicken on the other end. 

“Slow down Bail, where are they?” “Some gas station twenty minutes outside of town, they were on their way back from a fight and-” She gave you a few more vague responses, clearly not sure of the situation herself, but that was okay. You could work with that. There weren’t that many gas stations on that side of town, plus it would be hard to miss Charlie’s massive green truck. 

–

Ten minutes, and a few potential road laws broken, later- you finally spotted the truck. You pulled up next to them, attempting to not fully slam on your brakes. Your panic had slowly grown over the last few moments, and panicked driving is not a good idea. 

Tossing the door open in a quick motion, you stepped out and ran over to see Charlie sitting on the tailgate of his truck. Max was next to him, holding a makeshift ice pack to his face. 

“How’s he doing?” You plant your feet in front of them, doing your best to keep your arms at your side to not fret over him. At the sound of your voice, Max looked over with a smile. Charlie attempted to look at you, but winces the moment he tried to open his eyes.

“I’m fine- just a black eye.” Charlie replied weakly, still unable to fully open his eyes. 

“He might need stitches this time.” Max’s smile fades, returning to a worried expression. 

“Let me see.” Max nods before jumping off of the tailgate, making room for you to take his place. You carefully move to sit next to him, close enough for your legs to touch. You reach a hand up to his face, slowly peeling away the ice pack. It took everything in you to not visibly tense at the rather nasty wound on his face. Whoever beat him up this time actually used a weapon, brass knuckles, if you’d have to guess. He had a large gash right next to his eyebrow, reaching almost to his ear, as well as a black eye and numerous other bruises all over his neck. You can only imagine the amount of bruises he was hiding on the skin you couldn’t see. “Yeah…that’s going to scar. Where’s your first aid kit?”

“Don’t have one…” He mumbled.

“Come again?” You can’t help but sigh, “With how much you get beat up-”

He avoids your glare and refuses to respond, which is Charlie for ‘You’re right, but I will not admit it’. With a slight roll of your eye, you reach into your back pocket with your free hand and take out your wallet to hand to Max. “They should have bandages, or at least some cotton balls I can use to stop the bleeding. Grab what you can- if nothing else, your dad can save it for later.”

The kid nodded as he took your wallet before running back into the gas station. It probably wasn’t your smartest idea to just hand your wallet to an eleven-year-old, but you knew Max would at least grab what you asked- even if he came back with a few extra snacks.

Seconds after he left your eye-line, you heard Charlie suck in a sharp breath. The sound caused your full attention to turn back to the man next to you. He was no longer sitting upright, but instead leaning on the side of the truck as if the metal wall was the only thing holding him upright. You were quick to notice the stiffness in his shoulders was far worse than a few seconds ago, and you didn’t have to ask why to know what was going on in his head. 

“Char, the kid just watched you get your ass kicked- again. You don’t have to act all tough. Hell your face is bleeding like some kind of horror movie victim. He knows that you’re not alright.” It broke your heart to see him like this. He was always putting on a front of the big strong unfeeling douchebag, but you knew better. You also knew better than to question it. Max was a strong kid, but he was still just a child. No kid should have to watch this dad getting beat up as much as Charlie did. You moved your hand from his face to his shoulder, using your thumb to rub soothing motions in a small attempt to comfort him. 

“How’d you get here so fast?” He questioned, completely avoiding your concerned comments.

“Max called Bailey. Bailey called me. Here I am.” You moved your free hand up to his face, attempting to inspect the wound a bit more. Fingers lightly holding his chin, making it easier for you to move his head if needed. He couldn’t help but lean into the small touches. “I think I still have some pizza in the car. It’ll be cold by now though.”

He let out a light chuckle, mouth struggling to turn into a smile without pain. “Maybe when my face is done bleedin’ out.”

You smile at him, grateful to hear that his sense of humor was still intact. The moment he winces again, your smile falls. “What the hell happened?”

“Just some assholes that I used to owe money to, what else-” He pouts, “I would have been able to our run em but-”

“Max…”

He didn’t have to even look at you for you to understand what he meant. From what Bailey had told you in the past, getting his ass kicked out of the ring was nothing new for Charlie. He was constantly coming back to the gym with cuts and bruises, and the occasional broken bone, but ever since he regained custody of his son, he’s tried to be a lot more careful. He had always been reckless and almost uncaring when it came to what happened to him, but now he had someone to protect. Thankfully, the Atom fights had helped pay off practically every debt he had ever owed, but there were still some people who had it out for him that couldn’t give less of a shit if his son was watching or not. 

The hand on his face slowly moved to the back of his neck, before you carefully pulled him closer to you. You positioned his head to rest comfortably on your shoulder. Your other arm snaked around his back, holding him in a secure hug. “It’s okay…I’ve got you.”

Your hushed tone was all he needed to melt completely into your hold. His face hid in the crook of your neck, like it was the only thing keeping him in one piece. His arms found their way around you, holding onto the fabric of your shirt like a lifeline. Charlie Kenton was many things. He was a boxer who had seen his fair share of violence, as well as a man who routinely went to shady places for robot fights, but he was also a father who had no idea what he was doing. To him, there was nothing more terrifying than the idea of his son watching him bleed out (and potentially die). Whoever had attacked him this time didn’t hold back. He honestly didn’t know if he was going to make it out in one piece. 

He was in pain and scared shitless, but you were there. You kept him grounded, like you always knew what to do or say to keep his anxieties at bay. You were his rock, and he was yours. The two of you had this unspoken thing that not even Bailey dared to bring up to either of you. You could feel your shoulder becoming damn, from both tears and the blood from his wound- but you didn’t care. The stains would come out, and even if you ended up having to throw the shirt away, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the man quietly sobbing in your arms. 

He would never admit it, but Charlie cried a lot. Never in front of you or anyone else, but you’d always catch him silently crying to himself in the middle of the night. You knew that Bailey and Max were aware, but all three of you knew better than to mention it to him. Anytime that you gathered the nerve to ask him if he was alright in the middle of his crying session, he’d just yell at you to go away. You knew he never meant to actually yell at you. Normally he’d even apologize the next morning with a vague ‘sorry about last night’ while avoiding any actual questions about whatever he had been upset about. But right now, he didn’t care. There was nothing he needed more than you. 

—

Time passed by in a small blur. The only sound you could hear was Charlie’s heavy breathing finally beginning to regulate itself to the sound of your light humming. His arms were still wrapped around you, but the grip on your shirt had loosened. You still had one arm around his back, the other had found its way to his hair- playing with the short brown strands. 

“I got some stuff!” Max’s sudden voice startled you both. You turned your head in his direction to see that his hands were filled with an assortment of bandaid boxes, a bag of cotton balls, and a few snacks that he bought with your money (which you fully expected would happen). Charlie’s body went stiff under your arm at the sound of his son’s voice, embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state. “This is all they had.”

“Thanks kiddo,” you smiled at him. The arm around Charlie’s middle let go, so you could reach out for the ‘medical’ supplies. He silently mourned the loss of the touch the second you let go. You placed the items next to you before your gaze returned to Max. “Why don’t you sit up front and update Bailey, tell her we’ll be back in a little bit. I’ll get to work patching up your dad’s apparently very punchable face.”

It was a poor attempt at a joke, but Max still smiled. Charlie made a mental note to thank you later for the small attempt at saving what was left of his pride. Thankfully, Max obliged and left to go sit in the front seat, giving you two a bit of privacy.

Using both your hands, you carefully lifted his head off of your shoulder. He made a small noise of disappointment as you pulled him from his safe spot. You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself. You held his face in between your palms as you examined his face one more time. His eyes were a little swollen from the crying, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep. The adrenaline must have finally worn off. 

“Okay, I’ll do what I can, but I’m taking you to actually get this checked out first thing in the morning.”

“Fine by me.” his words were beginning to slur together. Something told you that you’d be the one driving the truck back to town tonight. It would be safer to leave your old car than the massive truck holding one of the most popular boxing robots at the moment. 

Your humming continued as you cleaned up the drying blood from his cheek. There was only so much you could do with the limited items (and skill) you had, but you stayed focused. With the bleeding stopped and wiped away, the wound wasn’t as bad as you originally thought. It would still leave a nasty scar, but it was small enough that a trip to an actual medical professional could wait. As you worked, you could feel Charlie’s head become heavy in your hands.

“You falling asleep on me?” You teased lightly.

“mmmno.” It was more of a noise than an actual word. 

“Almost done, big guy. Then you’re welcome to crash on your little cot back there.” Between the warmth of your hands, the soft touches, and your quiet humming as you worked- Charlie was practically melting. Bailey and you liked to joke that he was like a dog sometimes, from the bursts of impulsive energy, to the unapologetic joy over the smallest things, and of course his mastery of the ‘puppy dog eyes’ that he often used on you and Bailey to get what he wanted. He would always scoff or roll his eyes whenever you would tease him or whenever you called him a dog. You couldn’t help it, especially at times like this- with his eyes comfortably closed and melting into your every touch. It was adorable, despite the fact that you were actively cleaning up a wound. 

“Can’t sleep yet-” His body betrayed his words by interrupting his sentence to let out a yawn. “Gotta drive back.”

“Not like this, you’re not. I’ll drive.” Driving the truck wasn’t your favorite, but you have done it before. As long as you didn’t get pulled over, you could drive it home without a problem. “C’mon, let’s get you into bed before you actually pass out on me.”

With a light pat to his cheek, he dutifully allowed you to help him stand. His head immediately seeking your shoulder to lean on again. He was taller than you, but still seemed perfectly comfortable once he found the crook of your neck again. You blamed the blood loss and the crying for how touchy he was being. It’s not that he wasn’t a touchy person. He had a lack of personal space with those he was close to, but this was different. For a second, you questioned if this was even beyond him seeking you out as a source of comfort. 

Ignoring the swirl of worry and emotions you had yet to even fully admit to yourself, in your stomach, you carefully led him over to the cot inside the truck. You gave him a small nudge to sit down. He listened with only a small sound of complaint. The disappointment was short-lived. You could almost see ears perk up the moment you returned to sit by his side. 

“Thanks…for doing all this.” Standing must have woken him a little. His voice was much clearer than it was a few seconds ago. 

“It’s not like I was going to let you bleed out.” You rolled your eyes with a small smile across your lips, as you finished putting the last bandaid on his face. It was a haphazard job, but it would do the trick- at least for a few hours. 

“I know. Glad to have you on my side is all.” Your eyes moved from the collection of bandages to his eyes, feeling a little shocked by the genuine emotion they held. Charlie didn’t have a lot of people to count on. You knew that better than anyone.

“I’m happy to patch you up anytime.” Your hands left the sides of his face where you had been diligently working, moving down to find his hands. He took the hint and intertwined your fingers, giving them a light squeeze. The two of you were bonded, neither wanting to question of risk actually talking about what that bond was. You were waiting for him to say something, and he was in between being far too chicken shit and waiting for you. So many days spent dancing around either other like this. You knew, even now, that neither of you would mention the softness and tenderness from tonight’s interaction. He’d go to sleep as you drove him, and he’d wake up not remembering much of the night in the first place. Still you sat with him, foreheads pressed together, basking in each other’s company. 

“I gotta take you home, Char.” You whispered, not wanting to leave this moment yet. His grip on your hand tightened, but he still allowed you to pull away.  

“Tomorrow, let me take you to dinner.” His voice wasn’t as quiet as yours, but it was even more unsure of itself. Speaking before thinking, as always, but looking deep into your eyes this time. “As…thanks.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the offer. The two of you went out for dinner alone all the time, but something about this felt different. You gave his hand one final squeeze and planted a small kiss on his cheek before standing up. “It’s a date.”

[mistydeyes]

Hit the showers with Soap? 👀👀 he’d 100% do something like that! He’d definitely get chewed out by price or ghost lol

YES ANON 100% he is literally such a shithead this was so written for him

link to the prompt list and 1k celebration!

prompt: hit the showers (18+) - a prank ends with you getting your clothes and towel stolen

pairing: Johnny "Soap" Mactavish x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, mild nudity, sexual depictions

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

"Alright I'm gonna hit the showers," you called as you exited the sparring and training room, "put some ice on that Garrick." You turned and smiled as you saw Gaz flipping you off in the corner of your eye. Another successful training session where you kicked Gas's ass and then were absolutely taken out by Ghost. Your body ached as you walked into the locker room. The gym showers were practically empty so you walked to your locker and grabbed a fresh change of clothes and your shower caddy. You placed your clothes on a bench adjacent to the stall and peeled off your issued shirt and threw your shorts to the side. You rolled your sweaty shoulders before turning on the warm water and savoring the sensation. You were accustomed to quick showers or lack thereof on the field but you always took your time when back on base.

As you shampooed your hair and faced the shower head, you could hear the thud of feet entering. You knew it was a public space so you were unbothered by the interruption. "Water's hot today," you called out to the other soldier but they didn't reply. You shrugged as you continued your routine, tying your hair up after you conditioned and using the bar soap to clean your bruised body. Eventually, after 10 minutes, you turned off the shower and cracked the curtain to reach for your towel. As your damp hands felt only the cold tile instead of the fluffy object, you assumed in your haste you might have left it on the bench. However as you exited with a cloud of steam, your eyes fell on the bench with no clothes or towel in sight. "What the fuck?" you said aloud and walked towards your locker leaving a trail of wet footprints. After angrily throwing it open, you found that it was empty. Now you know someone was really fucking with you and you had your suspicions. You angrily grabbed a damp towel from the laundry bin and stormed off to the men's barracks.

Your first arrival was to Soap and Gaz's room. You pounded on the door as you heard Gaz yell that he was coming. The minute he opened the door, you shoved past him and stood with your towel wrapped around your body. "Who the fuck took them?" you yelled as your angry gaze shifted from him and Soap who was leisurely sitting on his bed. "What are you talking about?" Gaz asked as you felt his gaze on you. "Can it, Garrick," you commanded, "where the hell are my things?" Soap couldn't deny how hot you looked at the moment, clad in a small towel, dripping wet, and absolutely fuming. "You fucker," you whispered as you saw your gym clothes haphazardly sticking out underneath his bed. You ran over and bent down to grab them, not caring that your towel slowly dipped as you reached under the bed. As you looked up, you couldn't help but notice something new growing in his shorts. Now, you were extra pissed. You then proceeded to hold your clothes in one arm and smack Soap with the other. As he yelped in pain, two more individuals joined to see what the commotion was about.

"What's going on here?" you heard Price shout as you stopped your attack. You turned around as you held your towel around your figure tighter. "Mactavish thought it was a brilliant idea to take my shit while I was in the shower," you fumed as you could feel his eyes stare at your ass. You took the opportunity to turn around quickly and plant a slap on his cheek. There was an audible groan following that. "You and me, tomorrow, in the ring," you spat before you walked towards the door. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to take another shower," you said politely and walked past the staring eyes of your team.

As you walked down the hallway, you could hear the lashing the Sergeant was getting. First, it was Price reprimanding him for sneaking into the female quarters and stealing your clothes. Then it was Ghost who yelled about the fact you had to walk through the halls in a dirty towel. In between the loud voices, you could hear Gaz laugh and reply. You couldn't help but smile when he said, "She should've slapped you harder after that."

[wickerwax]

QuinObi Week 2024 (24/10)

Day 4: Psychometry/ Wartime love letters

(Separating Out the) Bad Touch

It wasn’t until he spotted the glove lying dusty against a wall that the creeping unease really gave throttling him a good go.

Up until that point it had just been the usual Sith temple experience: shit was too dark, too pointy, shadows (derogatory) were doing things that the miserable available light sources would not have bid them do... the usual. His shields were locked down tight, shunting off any probing tendrils of nasty darkside lurgies, and he had a rebreather on to battle the dust, and yeah, he wasn’t getting a good feeling about this place but that was both inevitable and the understatement of the cycle so he hadn’t been at risk of escalating.

Only before that he hadn’t been aware that his Shadow (affectionate, but on thin ice) had also found his way here. Hadn’t gotten any sense of him or his signature and yet-

Yet, upon very cautiously strolling into another overdone black-draped room covered in dimly glowing red symbology, something cold tapped quietly into his spine and proceeded to fill his bones with ice.

The largest, most intricate symbol burned on the far wall.

The lines of it looked unpleasantly wet, especially for something that appeared to be a part of the rock.

It pulsed faintly, slow, like a heartbeat at rest.

In the faint light, red gleamed off the synthleather glove on the floor. So easy to overlook. Plain and thin and currently covered in the same dust as the rest of the room, faint bootprints leading him onwards notwithstanding.

Unsafe. The Force whispered through the darkness. Danger. Caution.

Yes, he grumped back silently, I had rather gathered that this wasn’t the time for throwing coloured flimsi strips and dancing.

Danger.

Well. That wasn’t unhelpful but it also wasn’t. Helpful.

Frowning, he made his way carefully over the the wall and knelt, ghosting his fingers just above the glove as he tried to get a sense of it but his best beloved idiot hadn’t been distressed when he took the glove off, and it hadn’t been tainted by whatever had followed. With a sigh that made the rebreather make a dreadful rasping noise, he picked up the glove and stood, tucking it into his belt.

He stroked a hand over his chin as he considered the symbol. It was complex and spidery, with Sith runes written in all directions within larger runes and he wasn’t versed enough in the language to even begin to guess how deep those modifications went. Karking Sith.

He wished he felt less cold.

Very delicately, he reached out into the Force around the wall. It burned, frostbitten and gangrenous and he had to draw in a slow, careful breath as he let it rush over and around and not into him.

Briefly, he caught a glimpse of a very familiar hand, bare-skinned, reaching out to the glyph. Caught a moment of shock-confusion-no!- and yanked himself out of the stream before he could topple forwards and play a repeat performance.

Safe, it bubbled at him, tarry and leering. Safe, safe, safe. Just step forwards. Just come in.

Well. Absolutely not.

Danger. Caution, it whispered, faint and straining. Careful, careful, careful.

Obi-Wan studied the slow fade and return of the glow for several long moments. Considered the hibernation dormancy of his bond to Quinlan instead of shields or agony. Considered too, the way the darkside here was oily and freezing and full of well-preserved rot – yet the preservation appeared to be the key.

He put on the glove.

***

“And what did we learn, yet again?”

“Sith cooties are the worst cooties.”

“Quin.”

“Psychometric visions in Sith temples suck ass, Obes, I don’t know what you want me to say. I was using the tools I had to gather intel.”

“Despite the severe risks with that particular tool in this particular location, while investigating alone. You couldn’t have taken some holos, done a little information exchange in the Archives?”

“...”

“I can’t always have a partner with me on missions, mama tooka.”

“Yes, because it’s fussing to not want you to be eaten by a Sith temple. My mistake, it won’t happen again.”

“Obiiiiii-”

“Quinlan, I swear by the Force, I will space myself without hesitation.”

“Star’s sake, Obes, so dramatic. You gonna do your big flashy robe drop first?”

...

“Hey, wait, no! Obi! Put me down, I’m sick and frail!”

“Sick and frail, is it, hmm? Then I suppose you aren’t interested in-”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah! This feels like a reward for bad behaviour, Obi, I’m getting mixed signals here.”

“You don’t have good behaviour, Quin.”

***

“Mm? Obi?”

“It’s nothing, Quinlan. Go back to sleep, you need the rest.”

“...”

“I just... There was a moment there. I thought. You didn’t seem to be breathing.”

“Yeah, those flashbacks were karked up.”

“No, I- Quin. Quinlan. Don’t make me grieve you for something so avoidable. Just to avoid- to avoid extra travel, extra time. I love you. Idiot. Don’t make me lose someone else. Not like that.”

“Obi-Wan-”

“Bant would pull you back out of the Force just to kick your ass and I would cheer her on.”

“...”

“I’ll try to take one further second to consider my options in the future.”

“That’s all I ask. Honestly, I’m a saint, really-”

***

“Remember that Diplomacy assignment where we had to write letters to each other like we were on opposite sides of a war and were trying to find an appropriately diplomatic solution for all parties.”

“...the one where you made us both fail and we had to repeat it with new partners? Shockingly.”

“I thought I made quite a persuasive letter writer, master negotiator.”

“Quin. Darling. They were the most lewd examples of the written word I’d ever seen and you offered to read them aloud to display how effective your diplomacy was.”

“Hacking the alert system for my dramatic reading wasn’t my most subtle play.”

“Quite. Nor was staging a jailbreak for your confiscated flimsi copy.”

“Your confiscated flimsi copy.”

“Hmm?”

“I could feel how much it made you laugh. I wanted to keep that. Your laugh.”

“Darling.”

@quinobiweek

[harrystiddess]

Unexpected Occurrences Part I

Warnings: Smut

*if you’re wondering what happened to my last series of posts, I took them down because I don’t own the writing and the author very kindly asked me to not post it! Although this one is written by me so there are no worries!*

It was a regular Wednesday night. I was working and harry was out with some of his friends to celebrate the completion of the album. He was practically begging me to come but I couldn't since I had some important papers to send in. And I thought he should have some time alone with his friends, enjoying, without me. I needed him to remember the life he had before me and not forget his lovely friends and things he used to do on a daily basis.

 It was around 10 PM when I decided to take a much needed break and drink some coffee wash my face and work again.

 Just when I was done making my coffee and was about to sit back in front of my laptop, I heard he door open. 

"Harry?"

"Hey gorgeous" he said kissing me on the cheek

"I didn't  know you were coming!"

"I missed you and I needed hugs" he said visibly pouting

"awwh baby!  I just met you in yesterday...  is everything alright?"

I said setting down my laptop and embracing him even closer.

He clung on to me like his dear life and softly placed his chin in the crook of my neck wrapping around me like a koala. I softly smiled and drew abstract pattern inn his curly hair.

H looked up for e second =, with a mischievous glint in his eyes and kissed me ever so softly which I didn't resist. he pulled back, "Baby"

"mhm?"

"Knock Knock"

"oh god not again" I said playfully pulling back from his warm embrace

"please please just this oneeeee" he said like a five year old begging his mum for an ice lolly 

"Ugh fine....who"s there"

"Dover."

Dover who?

"Ben Dover and I'll give you a big surprise!"

You tried your best not to laugh at the horrendous joke. But Harrys face was way more funnier than the actual joke you thought.

(he makes that face)

"ooh ohh wait I have one I have one 

Knock knock" I said rather enthusiastically earning a chuckle from him

"Who's There"

"Asshole Who"

"Asshole Who?"

"Asshole who is terrible at jokes"

"oh yeah oh yeah?"

He said digging his fingers into my sides earning breathed giggles and squeals from me. 

"Ahh harry....ah- harry stop-stop" I said trying to catch my breath.

There was an intimate moment of silence in between us. a moment in which I could stay forever. a moment that felt like forever. Just Harry and I staring at each other with all intimacy, love and passion.

That was before he closed the gap between us by a soft passionate kiss by smashing his lips onto mine, pulling me even closer if at all that was possible.

We broke the kiss in sync gasping for air, with a glint in both of our eyes wanting for more.

I pulled him closer by grabbing his cross necklace which led to him slightly moaning on my lips. It wasn't often that I'd take the lead in situations like this. But surprisingly I was on top of him- him laying down and I straddling him.

(like so : )

That was when he suddenly flipped us over earning a squeal from me. I knew I spoke too soon

He took over. I love the dominant side of harry even though he is a total softie! He began swiping his tongue against my lower lip asking for permission which I gladly gave. He deepened the kiss until he started placing wet, sloppy kisses near my cheek going to my chin. my collar bone, my neck and finally behind my ear. H every well knew his ways with his mouth and he knew that the minute he earned a loud moan from me. He came back up, and kissed me again even more passionately undressing me with one of his hands as the other found its way to my waist. As my t-shirt fell right across the room, he unclasped my bra while sucking on my neck clearly marking and gatekeeping his property taking a break and looking and taking as much of me as he can with his eyes and mouth. He slowly went down and down as he started to work his way through my nipples as he leaves me in a moaning mess. He never took his mouth off me while he removed his t-shirt and rings well almost before I stopped him

"what" he said with his eyes full of lust

"they stay on"

His lips quickly pulled into a smirk, "bold.. mm like it" he said shortly before pulling my panties down and attaching his lips to my stomach near my belly button piercing and suddenly looking up

"When did you get this?"  he said with his eyes as wide as they can get 

"mhm Today morning"

"fuck princess your gonna make me come with just the sight of your beautiful body" he said while going dangerously closer to my core

"mhm don't stop" I said trying to control the endless loud moans which were soon going to be relentless.

"fuck ha-rry go faster" I said gripping onto the sheets.

"fuck" it was a wonder how harry could just send me into oblivion with his tongue 

That was when I was suddenly yanked out oof that state of oblivion due to the sudden thrusting of Harrys two fingers inside me with the rings on. 

"Agh fuck" I screamed

"Shh baby girl we don't want the neighbours hearing us now do we?" he said while getting one of his hands to my mouth while still working wonders pleasuring me just by his tongue and ringed fingers.

Not soon after harry started unbuttoning his jeans and slipped them down and jumped out of them, with his "little friend" who wasn't so little now, clearly visible and throbbing. he climbed on me, placing sloppy kisses on my neck and my lips while his "not-so-little-friend" kept pressing against my thigh. That was my cue and taking that I took my hand down his shoulder to his abdomen and to is pelvic area as I started stroking "his friend" feeling him yearn for my touch. He slipped out of underwear swiftly and started to pump his own self hastily when I decided to take over. I stroked it with my hand for a while before licking the tip of it and slowly taking him in. We have had sex innumerable times but I will never get used to his size. Slowly I started picking up my pace and bobbing my head until he reached his high. Shortly, he in between my legs, my thighs over his shoulder, he started slowly lining his not so little friend with me and entering carefully- checking if I was okay, occasionally. He was slow at first and slowly started going faster.

 "oh fuck yeah!" it came out louder than I was actually expecting it to, almost leaving me screaming, moaning mess.

"What do you say baby girl"  he said still thrusting in and out in a rhythm 

"pl-plea-se daddy"

"that's my girl"

"Such a fucking slut for me aren't you?"

"y-es j-just for yo-u" I said trying to stifle the upcoming load moan

He had picked up his pace by now and we both were dangerously close to our high when his phone started blowing up with notifications and suddenly went off with Jeff, his managers name flashing on the screen. Harry kept thrusting- 

"Ha-rry I-I think y-ou should- ta-ake that"

I said almost reaching my high

"Almost there baby"  He said his thrusts getting faster

"Not yet"

"Harry I'm going to c-cum"

"Together in 3...2...1..."

I nodded as we both reached our orgasms, together. We fell on top of each other, chests heaving up fast, now slowly falling in a rhythm. We just laid their staring at the celing as we caught our breath.

 After a few moments of processing the amazing sex we just had, I Spoke up-

"I think you should call Jeff, you just met him an hour ago it must be something important..."

"mhm you're right" he hummed in my hair kissing my forehead, and then grabbing his phone from the coffee table-  dialling Jeff's number.

"Hey Jeff whats up!" he asked being his usual cheery self.

"Harry....."

"Jeff whats wrong?" harry said sitting up straight....

"The album......"

"The album what..?"

Part Two Coming Soon!

Hope you Guys enjoyed it

All the Love,

Ava <3

[99corentine]

Questions copied and pasted from the message I sent.

Were there any major things that changed from the initial direction you were going to take the fic in? Were there any scenes that you wrote in the fic that just didn't end up making the final cut? Who was your favorite character to write? Those sorts of things?

Hello tomato, thanks for your lovely message, and now this ask! Let’s see…

Were there any major things that changed from the initial direction you were going to take the fic in? 

Surprisingly little. The upside of following the existing plot of a game is that the direction of the story is already mapped out for you. I will say, when I first started writing it I had very few ideas about who Chrysanthe was, he was just a thrall-turned-paladin, more of a concept than a fleshed-out character. He grew alongside writing; all the stuff about him becoming more draconic was organic development and not especially planned.

I did spend a lot more time on non-game plot than I’d anticipated. When I wrote Hermaeus Mora attacking Chrysanthe and the subsequent stay at Frostmere Crypt that took like 10 chapters where I thought it would take like 3.

Were there any scenes that you wrote in the fic that just didn't end up making the final cut? 

A fair few, yes! Off the top of my head…

Miraak and Chrysanthe were going to have a chat about who would out-live the other, because Chry is an altmer (the lifespan of mer in elder scrolls lore is very unreliable, but I figured a few hundred years at least), but Miraak is… well, Miraak. Chry is the Last Dragonborn, which implies Miraak dies before he does. Cut because it was too depressing, tbh

There was going to be a thing near the end where Miraak helped Chry with his self-esteem by showing him exactly how highly Miraak prized him via telepathy. It was maaaybe going to lead to telepathy sex. I cut it because I wasn’t really feeling what I wrote - maybe it felt too much like ‘fixing’ Chry’s confidence issues, idk

There was a sex scene at Lakeview in which they broke the bed and Chry was mortified/Miraak was delighted by it. That was cut because it was too similar to the time he accidentally set the bed on fire

There was a whole part where Mora so relentlessly attacked them that Chry/Miraak decided to seek out the dwemer sphere Septimus Signus had (currently at the bottom of the ocean floor after Mora attacked the ice cave), on the basis that Mora wanted whatever was inside so it could be used to blackmail/bargain peace with him. It was cut because it was very long-winded and I had an Alduin-killing plot to get on with already. If I ever do write a sequel, it’ll end up in there

Clavicus Vile was going to show up again given that Chry sort of kind of struck a bargain with him. Probably an offer to help with the dwemer sphere thing above. It’s Clavicus, so this was going to go about as well as you’d expect.

Who was your favorite character to write?

Despite the story being told from Chry’s POV, Miraak was hands down my fav - he has such a distinctive voice, both stilted (‘Is it not’ instead of ‘isn’t it’, that sort of thing) and commanding (‘you will do this for me’) that makes him really fun to write. He’s also just a great mix of arrogant, forceful and imperious, but also thoughtful, hyper-competent and just devastatingly clever. I always tried to write him like the smartest person in the room - not to say that he is the smartest, of course. I'd have written parts of the story from his POV, but what does that man even think about all day? I certainly don't know.

Hope that answers your questions!

[missdeepend]

The Fairy Tail Fandom is so Powerful

I should first start by saying, Fairy Tail was my first anime other tahn the one episode of AoT that turned me away from anime and the few scenes I watched as a little girl of Pokemon, Sailor Moon, and Beyblade. It was the first show I sat down and watched and felt completely moved by with everything going on and it came at a very crucial point in my life. So there I was, roughly 13-14 years old (Almost 10 years for me now) sitting in computer class when I decided to take a "which anime are you quiz". This quiz was going to be my shot at getting into anime again. If I enjoyed it, anime was meant for me and if now, well that was that. So I took the quiz and my answer...was Fairy Tail. I can't tell you how I watched it for the first time, most likely through Netflix or even some other website but I did and I fell in love. It was everything I could ask for and more. The characters- I loved. The story- I loved. The artwork- I loved. It felt like a show made for me.

Now back then Little Deep End here had a small group of friends and shortly after the 3 other girls loved it too. We would always joke about the characters and, well, Gray being naked. It was something we bonded over and expanded out into other manga until eventually... I had to move. The last thing I had gotten from them was a picture of Gray with the words 'naked popsicle' written next to him. Something I kept until around my senior year of high school when I decided to let it go from its prison of my jewelry box.

But there I was, the new girl in school and well it wasn't the worst. I made friends and we bonded over things but I never met anyone with the same passion for this show in person as I once had with my previous friends. Well, that was until I explored Wattpad. Oh boy.

It was on here that I dove into the Fairy Tail community head on. I had already created ocs to join roleplays, with my proudest being Setsuko Rin- who at the time was just another ice mage. I read all the stories about Nalu, Gruvia, Gajevy (I wasn't too much of a Jerza fan but you get the point). It was like a safe haven. I couldn't discuss my passion for Fairy Tail with anyone else but these people but I didn't mind.

This all has a point I promise. Fairy Tail brings out something in its fans that not a lot of fandoms have and I think it has to do with the themes of Fairy Tail. Yes we may feel lonely in person but the guild was somewhere where the least welcomed were welcomed. Those that are outcasts with no friends and those that were the most popular could all come together and talk about how much Fairy Tail changed their lives.

I'm not going to lie and say that Fairy Tail hasn't had its moments in the show and that the community is perfect. However, I will say that you could mention Fairy Tail to any fan and they would welcome you with open arms. I feel like this show teaches a good level of respect and kindness that people aren't used to seeing within fandoms anymore. I can't even tell you how much it warmed my heart to see all the videos standing up for Fairy Tail within the last few years coming out to shut down the negativity it was getting and the people standing up and celebrating its return with 100 Year Quest.

It really goes to show you that a fandom like the Fairy Tail fandom is truly something else. Not to mention Todd Haberkorn being the best voice cast for Natsu there ever could be and same for Cherami Leigh as Lucy. Honestly all those actors both in the US and Japan (as well as the others worldwide) deserve so much praise for growing with us. Even if we shouldn't have been watching some of those scenes that we were at our age.

Anywayssss I just wanted to ramble a bit because this community does warm my heart. But I'll see you all later in the Deep End!!

[pbandjesse]

My allergies just hit me in the face and I am feeling a little bit terrible. But it is mostly worth it because I got to cuddle with sweetp for hours. Which was honestly just so nice. Even if I'm coughing and snotty now.

Today was a pretty good day. I barely felt sick at all and actually just got to enjoy the beautiful weather and have a fun field trip. It was a good day.

I slept fine. I hate waking up before the sun is up. It feels kind of horrible. Like I know it's 7 but it feels like 4am.

I got dressed. Did not like my hair. But it was fine. It was chilly out but it would become beautiful later on. I was mostly just bundled up this morning.

James helped me bring some stuff to the car. And then I headed in. And it was a good day. I got to camp at 8 and tried to hit each space in the most logical order so I wasn't running around camp like a crazy person. But I would still be driving back and forth because I forgot things. I started with the lodge. Get my table all set. Headed to the office. The art building. Woodlands village. There was some backtracking I had to do. But I got each area set up and ready and it was good to go.

Parents started arriving at 845. I parked over at the lodge so I could use my car as an example of where to park. All of the parents were absolutely lovely but I was very frustrated when I found out that the teacher, who is lovely and comes every year, gave the parents the old lesson names. And so no one was prepared at all. Stress. So much stress. But thankfully my lessons are written as scripts so they all would do just fine and I was so proud of them.

Once they were all there I would take them on a walk around camp so they would have plenty of time to go over the lessons and feel comfortable. And it would take me a while to get everyone set but it was all good. They had great questions and were all very competent and would do a great job.

When the school came at 10 I learned that the teacher didn't get chaperones to walk the groups. I would normally panic but I decided to not bother. It was a group of less then 30. I moved the games to the amphitheater. It wouldn't be hard to just monitor to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be. And it would work out just fine.

We started with an intro. And I was surprised how many kids I recognized from camp. Including two children from the preschool I used to sub at?? That was a weird feeling. Because when I worked with them they were 3 or 4. And now they are in second grade??! Time is a thief.

I had planned on sewing during the waiting periods but it wasnt in the cards. Instead I enjoyed sitting on a log and watching the birds. Wandering around to check on the groups. Going to find extra supplies. It was a busy day but it was fun.

At lunch I had to go find tweezers for a child who got a splinter but we weren't able to get it out. I felt so bad. I got him some ice for his hand and the teacher bandaged it.

I was very nice interested in any of the food I brought. So I had a chocolate bar from the freezer. I sat outside and enjoyed the nice day.

The last hour was fine. We did have some asthma issues with the smoke from the fire. But everyone was okay. The parents would do a wonderful job and packed everything up so I barely had to do anything once they left.

We did finish with a closing question thing. I forgot I took the quizo off the PowerPoint so I was just spit balling which was not ideal. I will have to fix that. But the kids were great and we thanked all of the parents and then it was time to go.

I would sweep and start putting chairs away while the kids got on the bus. And once the cars were all gone I would drive around to the different sites to make sure everything was put away. I chatted with Elizabeth on the phone about getting the lodge out away. And after I put the walkie away in the office I drove over there.

Joe would help me get everything away. We chatted about social media and how a wedding put all the chairs in the basement and he would need help bringing it up. But Sarah would help with that.

So once the lodge was out back I headed out. It was a little after 3. The weather felt so nice. I was starving and decided to go to Chipotle to get nachos. And that is exactly what I did.

They person checking me out was confused about someone ordering just chips and cheese? Which feels like a normal thing so I don't know why he was confused. But it's fine. I had half and brought the rest home. I was all of a sudden really tired and wanted to be back here.

It didn't take to long for me to get home. The traffic wasn't so bad. I brought my blanket project inside and after getting changed I would jump right into working on that.

James would be home soon after that. I was texting with my brother and sewing and chilling. James would give me a smooch and went to jump on a call. They had a guest on the podcast this week which was cool. I'm always proud of James for their projects.

I would get a row done on my blanket before I was tired and didn't want to do it anymore. I would paint my toes and clean up my fingernails. Answered some emails. And once James was done recording they made me dumplings. I honestly ate to many but it was fine. James made themselves peanut noodles. And we would hang out in bed watching TikToks.

James took a shower first to get the water warmed up for me. So romantic. The shower was nice but my allergies absolutely went off and I was choking and coughing for a bit. But it's calming down. Now I'm just itchy all over. Hopefully that subsides soon.

Tomorrow I'm just home. I hope to keep working on my blanket. Maybe start some painting prep in the baby room. We'll see where the day takes me.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe. Until tomorrow.

[gureumcity]

10 months

💌 pairing: sim jaeyun x reader, park sunghoon x reader 💌 genre: oneshot, dating bet!au, ice skater!sunghoon 💌 warning: profanity, long term heartbreak (it's kinda toxic so i put it here just in case) 💌 word count: 7.7k words 💌 author's note: note that this story is going to take place where enhypen are all adults and are the same age. there's no details but it just makes more sense. especially with sunghoon's ice skating competitions and their college lives. but of course, there will not be any sexual and/or inappropriate content. just wanted to let everyone know that because some things may not be something they would do but as i always like to remind. this is fiction. and just written to give a good story. anyway, enough with the serious talk. enjoy this one!

[ when what you believe is a beautiful relationship, turns out to be a total lie, you lose trust in yourself more than in the boy. you shut yourself out and stop living. even when another someone helps you out and brings you back into the world again. you may be thankful but you're never quite over the first. the one who hurt continuously hurt you. over and over again. ]

"i swear to god. you're just like how everyone said!," your thundering voice was heard across the hall of your apartment complex. surely, the neighbors were annoyed. but nothing compared to the humiliation and anger you were feeling as tears ran down your cheeks and your hands in fists. "but you know? you know what's so funny? ... that i truly believed you loved me!" with a slam of the door to your home, there stood a boy baffled. because at the very least, he'd thought you would at least let him explain. but no. and now.. all he could do was wait for you to be okay. no matter how long that took.

10 months. 10 months was all it took for you to fall so deeply in love and for your heart to get as easily as broken.

sim jaeyun (jake is his english name) was a boy you met at the beginning of high school. you were born in south korea but had moved to brisbane, australia as soon as you graduated middle school. there, you met jake. he was one of the most sweetest guys you'd ever met with one of the worst reputations. pretty much what one can imagine. the high school's it boy, aka fuck boy. not very convenient when all he did was share class notes and give you winks across the hallways every time you'd walk past by each other. things progressed fast before you noticed yourself falling more in love with the boy. and one day, like a dream come true, he asks you out. you still remember the words.

"so wanna share more physics notes at my house later? and maybe also be my girlfriend?"

cringy, i know.. maybe that should have been the first red flag. but it gets worse. sure, he cared a lot about his reputation and did a good job with upholding that. but with you.. he was a natural, caring guy who seemed more interested in a lot of things than what he leads. falling in love with someone like jake was easy. too easy.

so here you were. running away from your problems and flying to america with a scholarship for photography. you were covered for a good two, three years to study what you like to do and to get a fresh start. having yourself embarrassed in front of the school was already too much on your end. and the fact that your life was stolen while jake lived daily life as he did before, definitely did not make any of it feel any better. flirting with girls, playing on the soccer team, and hanging out with the same boys. it was so sickening. not the fact that he was able to go back to his everyday routine so easily. but that he still had you wrapped around his finger. that's what made going to america a better, and easier, decision than anything. it was like hitting two birds with one stone.

after a while, you got used to everything. you grew numb to feeling love and also expressing love. that may be why photography was your way of finding passion and emotion. you adapted fairly quickly actually. and with the winter olympics coming up, lots of ice skating competitions were taking place which also meant cha-ching. taking photos of representatives and of the event will be a big assignment for you; not to mention lots of hot ice skaters. you had always admired ice skaters. the way they gracefully play with their chosen songs while using absolutely every muscle possible to present such a beautiful piece. this was your seventh show you've been to now. two years really did pass by quickly.

but don't forget. you weren't the complete loser you claim yourself as. you've made friends along the way. park sunghoon, who you had met at these said competitions. he had placed first place in many, resulting in multiple individual photoshoots of him. opening up about your life wasn't something you'd like to do. especially with the way your recent high school life back in brisbane ended. but with many breaks and awkward silences during those shoots, one of you was bound to speak. and you, the photographer, sadly had to be the bigger person. one thing led to another. and you two became close friends. for the first time in forever, you felt at peace and that you belonged somewhere. park jongseong, jay, you had met in washington. he was forced by his dad to come to one of the ice skating competitions. regardless of his intention to come for fun or not, he had bumped into you and dropped your coffee all over, resulting in his many apologies and a talk in the cafe after. you know how the rest goes. sunghoon and jay meet and the three of you were now closer than ever.

feeling your phone buzz in your pocket, you reach for it to be faced with the familiar caller id, "bro", quickly putting him on speaker.

"hello?"

"hello? is that all you gotta say to me after days of not talking? i have called you like five times today and you have answered once!" you chuckle at the upset voice across the device. "well then, sunoo, maybe you should get a life instead of calling me so much." all you hear on the other end was a scoff as you finish packing your bag. sunoo was your twin brother. well, separated twin brother. after the divorce, you went with your mother to australia while he stayed with your father back in korea. you two still kept in good contact and met up occasionally but it wasn't the usual family situation. "anywayyy! when's your flight?"

you hear a knock at the door and keys jangling before seeing sunghoon walk in. "on monday. why?" watching as he took his shoes off and sat down on the couch, you gesture to him that you'll be with him a second. "nothing. it's just our birthday soon! so i'm holding a party for us. so since your flight is gonna be on monday, you'll definitely be able to make it to our party. right? you need to! listen to your big brother! you have to be there, okay?"

"you're literally two minutes older. stop acting as if you're more superior. i'm gonna go," sunghoon's chuckle could be heard as he listened to you fight with your twin brother. you quickly end the phone call and walk over to your couch. "sorry about that. sunoo keeps bothering me about our birthday.."

"speaking of birthday.. am i invited?"

"sunghoon. are you kidding me? of course you're invited. i just didn't ask cause i know you're busy with training and i didn't want to be the reason you skip out on practice during such an important time.." he places your keys in your hands and smiles. "your birthday is much more important than anything. i'll go. besides i have something else to say..," as you drop your keys on the table, he clears his throat. "i'm moving back to korea. my training in america is over and i have to practice back home. plus winter olympics is in beijing anyway. so i gotta get back soon."

"you're kidding!"

"nope. just bought my plane ticket. it's the same time and close to your seat too. maybe we can ask to switch seats with the person sitting next to you." with a quick jump, you wrap your arms around him. "ahh! i'm so excited. yes. we'll definitely do that. and since jay's back in korea too, i can invite him too."

the flight back was as normal as it can be. you both fell asleep midway but got to enjoy the sunset below. when you landed, it was around 3pm and sunoo was already there, waiting. "ooh. guess who brought their boyfriend!" he teased, and as much as you didn't want to, your smile disappears. nothing wrong with sunghoon. but it's just you haven't heard you and boyfriend in the same phrase for a while and it made you cringe. "yea yea.. anyway let's go." with yours and sunghoon's luggage in the trunk, you decided to sit in the back with sunghoon up in the passenger seat.

"so.. have you decided where you wanna live?" sunoo asks as sunghoon looks at you through the rear mirror with a smile. "actually.. yea, i have. jay's let us use his house. the benefits to having a rich friend." with chuckles, sunoo thanks sunghoon for changing the address on the navi. "you're still paying rent though, right?"

"of course i am. who do you think i am? a freeloader?," the silence was so loud, it hurt. "wow.. thanks guys."

unpacking was harder than packing. at least when you're putting things back in, all you have to worry about things crinkling up or folding in a weird way but once there out, you gotta think about how to place them somewhere. but you did what you could and managed to figure it out. "you finished unpacking?" you hear jay's voice outside your room. "yea! i'll be out in just a sec." and once you were downstairs in the living room, you see jay and sunghoon sitting on the black, leather, very jay-like, couch.

"okay. we're gonna need to make some rules," sunghoon and you catch each other rolling your eyes at jay's words before laughing. "look. i don't care how messy your rooms get. i won't step one foot in them. but! you can't mess my room or the downstairs rooms. especially the kitchen. understand?," after seeing the two of you physically nod, did jay let the two of you go. "good. so what do you guys wanna do on your first day back? after a good night's sleep, i'm sure you guys can have some fun.."

"i'm down to go clubbing.." sunghoon starts. "just like old times?" you add on, as if you were finishing his sentence. silence meant agreement. so off the three of you ran, up to your rooms to get dressed.

let's just say the day went by quick and the next day was hangover day for the three of you. four days passed and today was the party. sunoo had basically forced you to come to your own party that you didn't even plan. just added a few people on the guestlist but that's all you got to do. not that you were complaining. you didn't really care much anyway. it just gave you a reason to dress up.

"so.. how's the birthday girl?," you smiled at the voice before turning around to see sunghoon, showing off your outfit. "apparently all ready for the party.. happy birthday, y/n." with him opening up his arms, you walk into his embrace. "you know. it feels weird to be back here. i don't know if i should go see my dad.."

"you do what you wanna do. but for now..," you chuckle as he pushes you out the room and guides you downstairs to the car outside. "hop in. i'm driving us to sunoo's house." you watch as jay gets in the back and immediately puts his airpods in. it takes a few minutes to drive over and when you see the neighborhood, it wasn't hard to guess which house the party was being held. the music was loud and the big banner said everything. you just hoped he had warned his neighbors first. but that wasn't your concern.

"hey guys! the birthday girl is here!! late! but here." sunoo says as he opens the door, loud enough the attention goes to you. and to your embarrassment, sunghoon grabs your hand and takes you into the kitchen. "a drink?" taking in the amount of people in here, you were scared people would think you guys were a frat. with a simple nod, sunghoon pours in two cups of punch and hands one to you. "thanks.."

"hey sunoo. where do we put all the gifts?" jay speaks up, carrying all the gifts you guys had brought over. yes, it may be your birthday but it was sunoo's too. you couldn't not buy him something. "oh. just put them all into this room." you help jay with the gifts and place them where sunoo had told you to. after a while, there were almost a hundred people in the house.

"this should be everyone, right?" you ask sunoo as he was checking the guestlist. "no," your smile drops. what? how could he possibly know this many people that want to come and celebrate his birthday with him? "you know riki and jungwon. they're coming but i told them to bring the cake. i knew something would happen to it if i had prepared it beforehand. so i had them pick it up. they're heading over soon after they pick up their friends too." you down your drink and walk over to the couch where sunghoon relaxes. "i swear sunoo plays around too much or something. i knew this was gonna be a party but with this many people? goddamn." sunghoon chuckles at your frustration. "why don't you go grab another drink? get me one too while you're at it." you nod, heading over to the kitchen before someone else enters through the door. you catch a glance at the newcomers and immediately gasp when you see the last person entering. you wanted to hide. you wanted to literally disappear. it's been almost three years? and you thought you had gotten better. but what is this reaction? now you were back to square one. you felt pathetic. and to think, you didn't think it could get worse. until it did. his eyes catch yours and he smiles. smiles! you poured the two drinks and walk your way over. and just when he thinks he has a chance to talk to you, you pass by him and sit down next to sunghoon. and as your best friend, it felt only right he ask what was wrong.

"hey.. you good?" your eyes said everything. sunghoon sat up straight. "it's him.. jake. why is here? how does he even know sunoo?" all that anger and humiliation from that night was building back up. and if it wasn't for sunghoon holding you back, you would have left this place before the actual party even started. all while you were panicking, jake couldn't take his eyes off you. you were as beautiful as he remembered. maybe even more. "hey guys! you're finally here." you and sunghoon watch as jungwon and his other friend, you assume, place the very large cake on the kitchen island. "y/n?" your attention shifts over to the voice before seeing niki.

"oh my god! riki? it's been so long. what the hell? how are you so tall?" you said, hugging his now tall and lean figure. "well. the last time we saw each other was like five years ago.." you nodded, acknowledging his words but still shocked by his growth. "do i get a hug too?" you see jungwon peeking his head through so you immediately open your arms. "of course. my little kitty! you guys have grown so much. that's crazy." once sunoo comes your way, he starts introducing you to his friends.

"so this is my twin sister, y/n. you know jungwon and riki. this is heeseung. and this is jaeyun. well, jake. he's also from australia so i guess jake might be easier for you." sunoo explains and you couldn't help but let out a little sigh at his name. just like a hero, sunghoon's up from the couch and wraps his arm around your shoulder. "nice to meet you guys. i'm sunghoon." he says placing out his hand in which heeseung accepts first. and the rest followed. "wait wait.. i wanna hear the aussies speak. say something in english." riki says, interested. "you guys probably won't even understand anyway." you say as everyone gasps sarcastically. "oh come on, y/n. don't be a party pooper." with sunoo's words, you roll your eyes and clear your throat.

"how's life been for you?" you started first, deadpan. "it's been good, i guess. what have you been up to?"

"that's none of your business." you hear the others cheering at the accents, having no idea what you two had even said. well, besides jay who chuckled and maybe a bit of sunghoon. even though he may have a translator, you're sure he caught on to most of it.

you know how the rest of the party went. people got way too drunk, passed out, some left, and you're pretty sure you heard a few couples upstairs doing god knows what. and the whole night, all you could do was talk to sunghoon as jay was getting friendly with jungwon and riki. and despite all that, you couldn't get drunk. you don't know what kind of mistake you could make with jake and you couldn't risk anything. when there was about half of the people left, you stood up to use the restroom. after drinking almost three bottles of water, you needed to pee. after finishing your business, you wanted to get back to sunghoon. but jake had other plans. he grabs your hand and takes you outside without saying anything. when you realize you were already far out as two houses down, you shake your hand off and glare at him. "what? you're mad? when all you've been doing is hanging out with that sunghoon dude? what? are you guys dating? is he your boyfriend?"

"what? jake. you're drunk."

"no. i'm perfectly fine." his slurring voice wasn't hard to miss, proving that he indeed was drunk. too drunk, in fact. he grabs both your wrists this time so hard that you winced. "jake."

"jake."

"why is everything so easy for you? i know you don't even like him. i can see it. you don't look at him the way you used to look at me. come on. don't you feel anything for me? even when i do this?" when you feel him stepping closer, you step back. "jake! i'm warning you. let. go," you tried to wriggle out his grasp. you can feel your wrists bruising. "jake.. it hurts. please..." when jake sees your eyes tearing up, he loosens his grip. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to." you step away, a tear slipping away.

"i hate you." you quickly retrace your steps back into the house and grab your bag, immediately running out. sunghoon follows you out with his car keys, unlocking the vehicle. (you drove, no worries. no drinking and driving!)

the next day, your head hurt. but none of it from any alcohol. from the way you kept tossing and turning last night, thinking of jake. out of all the simulations you have made in your mind of what would happen when you by chance, ever bump into him again, that was not it. once you got downstairs, you had noticed porridge on the table with a note on top.

i know you couldn't sleep at night so i made you this. make sure to heat it up before you eat it. - jay

jay keeps quiet about other people's business but always knew what was going on. he was a nice guy who took advantage of his skill and helps. you wish there were more people like him in the world.

"so.. that was jake, huh?" sunghoon's groggy voice is heard. "yea.."

"remind me what happened?," you release a soft sigh as you take out the porridge from the microwave. "just humor me. i want to know how this dude fucked himself up."

"okay.. i guess," you sat down. "yesterday, he dragged me out, absolutely off his limit and starts yelling at me about you. almost like he's... jealous? i didn't understand his words but i know what his intentions were. he's still the same asshole he was years back." sunghoon watches your reaction. he's never met jake in his life. all he knows is the jake from your stories. and that was enough to know that he was a dick. but he never noticed that you still have remaining feelings for him, whether you'd admit or not. did he have competition? probably not, after last night. or at least, that's what sunghoon was hoping.

--------------------

jake, on the other hand, had woken up around an hour ago, completely regretting everything he said last night. he didn't mean any of it. sure. deep down, he was jealous at the way you laughed at everything sunghoon said or the way you leaned into his shoulders like he's the one you love. he hated it. all of it. and when he thinks of that day of your guys' fight, he grimaces. instead of waiting for you to reach out to him like a coward, he wishes he had the courage to just tell you. even if that hadn't changed a thing. at least, he would have been able to confess his true feelings to you.

"dude.. do you and sunghoon know each other or something?" heeseung asks from his bed, watching some anime on the tv screen. "what do you mean?"

"i mean.. i don't know if it was just me but it seemed like he was glaring at you the whole night yesterday. did you flirt with y/n? she seems to have a thing with sunghoon." jake's eyebrows twitch at those words but at some point, he had to admit. he was years late. and he didn't have to know the whole story to know that sunghoon was probably there for you when he wasn't. "uhh no.. i don't know man," heeseung shrugs and continues to slurp his ramen noodles. "speaking of.. do you have y/n's number? i wasn't able to get it last night and i saw that you were exchanging numbers." jake casually says, hoping heeseung doesn't find anything suspicious. "oh yea. i'll send it to you right now. but i'm warning you, dude. i'm pretty sure they're a thing." and when his own phone buzzes, he couldn't help but smile. "okay whatever.. thanks,"

"anyway.. i gotta go. let's finish the series next time." he murmurs before rushing out the door. heeseung's attention wasn't even anywhere near what he said so he escaped through heeseung's house and immediately got into his car and dialed the number he had just received.

when he hears the phone call picked up and all you say was a simple "hello?" yet his heart was already fluttering. "hey. it's jake. don't! end the call.. i just.. i know i don't exactly deserve it but i wanted to explain myself. about everything. no matter how late my apology is.. could we meet up somewhere?," the silence scared him. he wouldn't have known if you had the ended the call unless he hadn't checked. "y/n?"

"um. yea.. sure. meet me at the park near sunoo's house," and with that, you ended the call. "hey guys.. i'm gonna head out. i'll be back in a few." you can see the two boys nod their head but you're sure they're too distracted with their gaming so you slip out the door with your bag and phone in your hand. when you parked your car, you could see a fancy car on the other side of the block. you watch as jake walks out of the said vehicle. while you knew jake had come from a wealthy family, it didn't occur to you that he was this wealthy.

"hey.. thanks for meeting me." jake says, taking in your beauty. you hum a response, waiting for whatever he needed to say and seated yourself next to him on the bench. "so.."

"so. i came to apologize. and to explain. back when the guys had made this bet, it all started off because i thought you were pretty. but you know.. you hated the whole reputation thing we held so i knew i didn't have a chance with you. and when i said that you're totally out of my league, that you would never date me, they told me that they'd pay me if i got you to be my girlfriend. it was only for six months though. but i held out onto it. cause being with you felt so much better than i had first expected." you couldn't help but scoff and i know that none of this is an excuse to treat you this way. but i just want you to know that i never wanted you to get hurt. and i was just blinded by the fact that i could get a little bit of money while also getting the girl i liked. i was stupid. i'm sorry."

"how much?"

"huh?"

"how much?"

"$500."

"so playing with my heart was worth $500 for you?"

"i didn't take the money. i didn't take any of it. i told them that this was wrong and that none of it-"

"what do you want me to say? congrats?," jake felt shivers down his spine when you stand up. he knew that in some sort of way, he had messed up again. "congrats for liking me despite the mere $500 i was worth? and for believing that this shitty apology cuts out for all those nights i cried myself to sleep. i hope you get some of that guilt off your chest because you sure seemed like you needed to tell me that. and i'm also sorry if you came today thinking i would accept your apology because i don't. i really wished i could." gathering your things, you make yourself back to your car before hearing, "i still love you!" you freeze in your place. what? when you feel his presence again, you slowly turn around. eyes in contact with one another and your hands stop moving.

"what?"

"y/n.. i never stopped loving you." your tears had started to build up to your eyes in which you failed to hide. with a swift move, you were in jake's arms. this time, you could smell his cologne. his intoxicating cologne. and feel his heartbeat. the warm vibration as he mutters sorry over and over again. and as hard as it was, you place your hand on his chest and slowly push yourself away. "but you know what, jake?," looking into his eyes once more, you smile. "it doesn't matter whether or not you took the money. it's the fact that you took a deal with my heart on the end of it because you were blinded by greed. goodbye."

for the second time, jake watches you walk away. and it hurt the same as it did the first time. but just like the first, he can do nothing but watch.

--------------------

"so why the hell did you not tell me about jake?" it's been almost two weeks since the talk and sunoo is freaking out over jake. technically, he's not even supposed to know about him but he walked in on sunghoon and you talking about what to do with jake. now sunoo has seated the both of you at your shared dining table and demands to know what happened. all you could do was sigh because you knew his stubbornness wouldn't help.

"him and i dated senior year. we met each other in high school. and just like a wattpad story, he was your regular fuck boy that flirted with every girl he had the chance to. but he was sweet to me. spoke to me about his true interests. if that's even what those were.. anyway. basically i thought that he was able to open himself up to me that he couldn't to others because of his image. we dated 10 months and into the summer, he tells me that he didn't mean it to end this way but that everything just started off as a bet among his friends. we fought back and forth. cause he just kept giving me this bullshit excuse that he meant everything despite the bet. so i ended up yelling at him and left australia," sunoo's jaw dropping was enough for you to know jake was no longer invited to your birthday parties. "but i know that you guys are good friends. and i'm sure he's changed now. so don't mind me. i just happen to have a history with him."

"okay so wait.. i only care about one thing right now."

"what?" sunoo clears his throat, staring at sunghoon. "do you still like him?" you stare at your hands on your lap, not knowing how to answer. sunghoon had seen this coming. matter of fact, he's been hurt by your answer to this question every time. even when you replied yes or the silence. it both meant you still had feelings for jake anyway. but this time. "i don't know." sunghoon's eyes shift over to you. he wondered what made you change your answer this time. you honestly didn't know either. "okay then? and i think you're right. jake has changed. so i hope you don't mind that we'll still occasionally hang out." you shook your head, reassuring that you were okay with this.

a month passes since you got back from america and you were settled for good now. taking up little projects and finding customers here and there. your online shop helped a lot in setting up this mini business for you. sunghoon and jay really helped out in advertising.

just as you push your shopping cart in the supermarket, you find yourself in front of someone. "jake.."

"hey. how's everything going?" you smile at the casual conversation starter. "good.. yea. you?"

"the same old. same old..," as you pull your cart out of the way, jake takes a hold of your hand. "y/n.. can i suggest something?" you stare at him, confused.

"i know this is a stretch. but i'd rather know i took all the chances i had with you before fully letting go. and.. i was wondering if you would go on three dates. just three. no strings attached and nothing serious. i'll treat you to all three. and if you truly feel absolutely nothing, i'll let you go. hmm?"

--------------------

"what did she say? she obviously said no, right?" jay watches as sunghoon stresses out. you had to go to an appointment and since sunghoon wasn't home, you had told jay to let sunghoon know what's going on. "she said yes."

"what?"

"she wants to give him a chance."

"you're kidding, right-"

"not because she wants this to work. she just wants to feel better. she agrees that this relationship needs a better wrap-up. that's why she agreed," with sunghoon's sigh, jay chuckles. "don't worry. she doesn't like him." at his words, sunghoon lets out an awkward chuckle. "you knew?"

"knew what? that you like y/n? yea dude. it's pretty obvious. i'm sure almost everyone at the birthday party caught on," his panicking breaths was enough for jay to pat sunghoon's back. "except y/n.. knowing her, she would've probably said something about it by now. so lighten up, dude. and let her end this relationship the way she wants before fully going for it." sunghoon nods slowly.

--------------------

the first date took place on september 18. jake took you out to an amusement park with little mazes in between. he bought you all your favorite snacks that you were shocked he even remembered. dropping cute comments out of nowhere. "you look so pretty." while playing with his fingers. "let me.." while tying your shoelaces. he didn't try anything too much and kept his distance with you. enough to show respect and you admired him for that. although it wouldn't be the thing that would bring you back to him. because no matter how much he looked out for you, this just wasn't it.

the second date took place on october 31. it was supposedly the birthday of his dog back in australia, layla. you remember the border collie who welcomed you when you went over to his house. maybe that was why but this time, he took you to a dog cafe. you were able to enjoy your favorite coffee while playing with cute samoyeds and poodles. really attentive to you, he made sure you were able to feed the puppies, play with him, and stay after hours too. you were sure that one cost a bit. but you pretended not to know as he tried to hide his payment as much as possible. you hated to admit. but he was a gentleman. well, in a way, you guess he always was. but no matter how much he paid attention to you, this just wasn't it.

the third and final date took place on november 15. his very own birthday. he ended up holding his party a few days before instead to spend it with you. he took you to a festival. one that usually sells out fast and only comes twice a year. he made sure to keep refilling tickets to allow you more games, which meant more stuffed animals. when it hit ten o'clock, the fireworks went off. you let him hug you. you understand. fireworks makes one emotional. you slowly wrap your arms around him. "i love you.." you stare at the show in the sky. "i know.. happy birthday." jake tried not to notice you didn't say it back. but he wasn't expecting much. because no matter how much he made you feel loved, this just wasn't it.

he knew. he knew all of it. he knew that even if you still liked him.. your heart belonged to another. you just didn't know it.

--------------------

about a few weeks after the final date, jake reaches out to you. saying he wanted to meet up on november 30. you don't know why he had to push it back two weeks to hear your answer. but you knew the feeling. the feeling of wanting to stop time and just love a little longer.

sunghoon had barely asked you about any of the dates with you and jake. and to say you were worried was an understatement. whether you noticed or not, sunghoon's opinion mattered a lot to you. you thought about it. why your heart ached when he wasn't home much anymore to ask you things and why it bothered you so much to not see him in his room before going to sleep. he'd been the guy you go to. the therapist that helps you solve any situation. the ice skater who helped you open up when you doubted your skill in photography. the guy that reminded you your self worth and brought you back to this world. the best friend you fell in love with.

you blinked at your realization. all this time you had thought falling in love with jake was easy. maybe love wasn't supposed to be easy. maybe it was supposed to be a roller coaster. driving over to jake's was now a lighter feeling than how the day started off. when jake saw you parking in the driveway, he prepared himself. he took in a breath and opened the door.

"want some tea?" jake offers, knowing you're not here to stay long anyway. but it was still worth a try. he told himself that he'd give it his all and he was trying. even if he knew, nothing would ever work. you shake your head and sit down on one of the chairs by his kitchen counter. "jake.. i came here to say that-"

"wait," he stops you, scared. "lemme go first," when he sees you nod softly, he gulps. "look. the past three dates has been everything to me. i don't regret any of it. i'm so happy i saw you smile. i'm so happy i got to hug you. and i'm so happy i got to tell you that i love you. one last time..," he bites his quivering lip as tears rise up in his eyes. "i know what you're here to say. so i just wanted to say thank you. thanks for giving me a chance to love you again. thanks for giving me a chance to treat you the way i couldn't back then." hearing his voice crack made your heart break. you wanted to wipe his tears away but you know you shouldn't. you don't get to since you're the cause of those tears anyway.

"jake..," you watch his hands shaking in his lap, slowly placing your hand in his. you feel his tears falling on your fingers, tears threatening to fall yourself. "i'm sorry i can't tell you what you want me to say. thank you for showing me the person you have become and that you will find someone better. i know that's such a bitchy thing to say. but i mean it. jake.. you've grown. and i really would've liked it if this would've worked. but i'm.. i just-"

"you love sunghoon," as you look up, a tear falls down your right cheek. he slowly stands up, sniffling through his tears. "you should go to him. i know he's probably wrecking his brain right now, waiting."

you let out a chuckle before wiping your own tears. "can i hug you?" you nod as you allow yourself to be engulfed in his warm embrace. jake's uneven breathing didn't make any of this easier. after about a minute, you slowly pull away. "thanks jake.. for everything." with a nod of agreement, you both let go and he walks you out.

"y/n...," you turn around. "at least tell me one thing.. will he treat you better?"

"mhmm.. he's the best."

"then.. that's all that matters."

as soon as you get in your car and you're on the road, your phone starts dialing. and to no surprise, you're hit with voicemail. "hoon? i have something to say to you. i'm on my way home. please.. please be there.." you knew sunghoon felt something for you. it'd be crazy if he hadn't. almost every friend of yours has asked you if you were dating him. just by the way he looks at you, treats you, and finds some way to stop you from going on blind dates; that your friends set up. you just didn't say anything because it wasn't like you could reject him and risk loosing him forever or accept him while you were still in love with another. your parked car in the driveway was nothing near straight but you honestly just wanted to get back into the house. running to the door, frustrated that you couldn't find your house keys. but when the door unlocks and you're met with just the man you wanted to see, your body just wants one thing. you immediately hug him. "i'm so sorry.. i'm so sorry for not doing something before."

"you idiot. i've been waiting for like three months. if the past two years doesn't count." you were so relieved from his words that your heart skipped two beats.

"look hoonie.. i don't know what to say."

"then don't say anything.. just kiss me." not even a second passes before your lips are on his. despite the ticklish feeling of his eyelashes batting against your cheek and the fact you two were still at the door, this couldn't have felt more right. you and sunghoon. you should've noticed sooner. but for now, him having his hand on your back and the other on your neck was just perfect. it felt like nothing in the world could go wrong. after a while, you slowly let go. only because you were running out of breath.

"so. do i get to meet your parents now?" you chuckle at the way his mind works. "yes.. i'll arrange something," you slowly watch him close the door and walk you to the sofa. the two of you lay together, your head on his chest as he softly combs through your hair. you hum at the feeling. "at least i won't have to see my dad alone.."

"what happened? with your parents, i mean. you never told me why you're so scared to see your dad." with a sigh, you stare at your hands intertwined with his. "well.. the thing with my dad is that.. i've watched my dad fight with my mom one too many times and after siding with my mom in the divorce, i'm scared that he hates me. he's not abusive or mean or anything, actually. in fact, i love my dad. but i'm so scared that he doesn't want to see me anymore. especially after i literally ran when he saw me at the grocery store five years ago. he hates me. i just know it.."

you watch as sunghoon gives you a very judging look. "really?"

"what?"

"y/n.. what's not to like about you being his daughter? i'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding. you know what? you're gonna go see him. now." sunghoon instantly starts packing some stuff in a bag and running to get the car keys that you had just threw on the ground a while ago. "wait! wait.. can you come with me then?" sunghoon's grin slowly changes into a terrified facial expression.

"me? meet your father?" a few seconds later, and jay comes walking down the stairs. "so yall done now?" the blushing looks of both your faces was enough to make jay chuckle.

"how long were you there?"

"long enough to say finally. come on. pack up. i'll drive us over to your dad's house. in fact, sunoo texted me that he has a cold but sunoo has to stay at work. so we're gonna go there and take care of him."

--------------------

the loud sound of your heartbeat echoed in your chest, all the way up to your ears that you could barely hear anything around you. as you waited at the doorstep of what you've been told was where your dad lived, sunghoon holds your hand tightly. jay chuckles behind the two of you when he sees the two of your shoulders tighten at the sound of footsteps getting closer.

"who is it?," as the door opens, your eyes widen. you curse at yourself just imagining how stupid you must look. "y/n."

"dad?"

"uhh... come on in." your dad clears his throat and moves out the way. hesitant, but you enter, taking in the view of the house. when you're suddenly pulled back into a hug, who you assume was sunghoon, or jay, was the very father you believe hated you. "dad.."

"y/n. i am so happy to see you here. i really am."

tears rose up as you wrapped your arms around him.

--------------------

10 months later and today was the day of the beijing winter olympics. you're in the crowd, cheering for park sunghoon, your boyfriend, right next to all the boys and your father sitting next to you. hearing the crowd chanting your boyfriend's name made you feel proud. you glance over at jake who was it obvious he was staring. and for once, you had the power to stop looking. not like all those years. and for once, you're looking at someone who loves you as much as you love them. you join in with your fans.

"park sunghoon! park sunghoon! park sunghoon!"

you watched as the scores to his short and free add up. his ranking going from 4th to 2nd and a point away from 1st to "park sunghoon! 1st place for the beijing winter olympics! congratulations!!" the last thing you remember is screaming and the place going wild.

--------------------

the after party was as good as it gets. a little bit fancier than what you and your boys are used to. but they offered coffee ice cream,  sunghoon's favorite. but now that you were back home, you were able to grill steak outside and hold a little after party amongst yourselves.

once everybody left, you and sunghoon find your way outside again with a bottle of wine and glasses. "sunghoon.. congratulations."

"i won it for you."

"what do you mean?"

"do you remember when we first met? and you told how amazing it'd be if i won 1st place at the olympics.. that you'd grant me a wish," you blink, reminiscing the moment, slowly nodding. "well, i was going to wish for you to give me a chance. but since that's already happened.." you watched as he cleared his throat and started to bend down on one knee. you gasped, seeing the box in his hands.

"oh my god. sunghoon." your hands covering your mouth in shock. "y/n.. for as long as i've known you, i have spent every second liking you and loving you. i overthought every single detail. but now that it comes to this, i thought as long as i'm the one down on one knee and you're the one in front of me, where i do it, how i do it, when i do it.. it shouldn't matter. i love you, y/n. will you be the one watching me from the stands at competitions as long as i shall skate? and will you let me be the one to love you from now and forever? marry me?"

"yes.. yes! oh my.. hoon yes!" the next thing you know, people surrounding you in hollers. "you guys didn't go home yet?" sunghoon's confused look makes everyone laugh. "after making it that obvious you were proposing? hell no." sunoo says.

"well.. can we have our moment before you ruin it even more?" you say as the boys crowd your romantic moment. they all start mumbling apologies, giving you two space. "anyway... where were we?" you smile as he wraps his arms around your waist.

"i believe we were about to kiss."

"i believe you said yes..

"i sure did.. i love you."

"and i love you, my love.."

[turanga4]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @lanaturnergetup, @hinnyfied and @pocket-lilacs!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 78, which is a terrifyingly large number, but almost every one of the works is very smol.

2. What's your total A03 words count? 66,388 (aka my entire 78-piece writing career so far would be, like, the same word count as 3 or 4 chapters in some of my favorite fics.)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Aftereffects (187 kudos????????) horrifies me with its popularity--I never really publicized that one, but it's the most beloved by leaps and bounds, even though almost no one comments. Fans of Snape, angst, and torture are forces to consider.

Accidental Magic (139) Yeah okay I like it--that was my first major foray into actually sharing my fic with the world.

Mothers (128) Featuring BAMF one pregnant Ginny Potter. Very much indebted, I think, to two excellent fests for that one taking off a bit--@hinnyfest for which I wrote it, and @ladiesofhpfest, where it was recced.

New Ice on A Lake (115) Semi-Obligatory post-war Harry Therapy fic. I still love this one, especially the bit about the brochure.

After The War (98) Ack lil baby turanga's head hop jamboree.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do try! Absolutely means the WORLD to me that someone took to the time to share, and I think it's lovely to have a bit of a conversation, not just drop stuff in a void.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angtiest ending? Probably Tripping Over. No joy to be had in the graveyard, fourth year.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dammit almost all my fics are fundamentally HAPPY. I like to write life as I see it, which is to say I don't tend to gloss over hard things, but I try to show that human connection and human resilience mean that the hard stuff isn't ALL that there is. But if it's pure HEA you're after, I reckon I'd say Epilogue.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Haven't done since I noped out of ff.net.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Glad others can do it, but it's never been my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I do not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware. Fic slippage is very much a thing and it wouldn't make me mad.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I don't think that'd work for me--I tend very much, in conversation, to orient to my partner, and I think for co-writing, that would frustrate us both: I'd lose my own voice and end up aping THEIR voice badly.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? I'm more a Gen writer than a shipper, but I guess Harry/Ginny.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I will I will I WILL (there are three).

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm told I can say a decently large amount of things with a small amount of words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I seem doomed to only produce, well, a small amount of words.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I did it once, for just one word, and found it exceptionally challenging, but also extremely enriching: I wanted to approach things with respect and awareness, and learn as much as I could before I tossed the word(s) out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Oh goodness, way way way back in the day, I confess I wrote like three small fics for a TV show, Joan of Arcadia.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? I truly don't have ONE.

tagging @greenhousethree @indigo-scarf @bettysgarden12 @ashesandhackles @nuatthebeach

[brdpch]

{5} a game of cats, mice and hearts like ice

desktop: previous ✧ next mobile: previous ✧ next

synopsis: in the world of deadly games and their lives at risk, a very smart sociopath meets a very cunning stripper who claims his life as hers.

warnings: canon-typical violence, graphic descriptions of violence, sexual abuse, substance abuse, niragi, literally everything, you name it.

formatting: it's a glued-together dynamic roleplay between me and @bvrdel-mama, so the replies are separated by ♠♥♦♣, and the dialogues are written like — This. — yes, the symbols look horrible on mobile, we know.

statistics: 1,795 words 9,888 characters.

author's note: it's a mix of manga!chishiya with show!chishiya. also! what's worth noticing - in this rp there are dice involved. the mechanic is called a d20 mechanic, and it's based on dungeons and dragons 5th edition. we also use other dice rolls for other outcomes, so future events might surprise both me and my roleplaying partner. enjoy!

Shuntarō nodded at everything she said, ignoring the gunshots, unfazed. He didn't know if it showed but he was very impressed by her quick thinking and ability to work under the pressure of time and looming death. He was right - the sweet, stupidish performance she put on hid a wolf underneath, just really similar to his blank emotionless one which hid a cold, calculating predator. He thought really hard about the flaws in her analysis of their situation but much to his disappointment he couldn't find any. The know-it-all tone wasn't lost on him as well, although he chose to ignore it just like the gunshots and screams of the panicked people below. She was dangerously intelligent, that could be a problem later on, one that didn't simply involve her questioning his intelligence in an elaborate way.

Shuntarō met her gaze now, still leaning over the balcony, putting his chin upwards.

— I have no idea, but I'm positive you will now enlighten me.  — he lowered his voice and uttered dryly.

He was following the horse-head on the opposite side from him, watching his movement and noting the floors which were targeted by his bullets. They must know where the room they're looking for is - it's a matter of noting down where their feet took them and where their sight and bullets go. She thought of the playing field well, let's see if she can come up with a solution to this game as fast as he can.

♠♥♦♣

She had to be used to the gunshots, but not because of visiting the shooting range or playing paintball; she was used to the real thing used in actual gunfights. She also had to witness death at some point, because she seemed unfazed by the dead bodies, screams and blood.

Another scream interrupted their conversation, followed by a rain of bullets, and then a pause. Something was dropped, Unmei was sure it was an empty magazine - she saw it from across the balcony. The tagger was reloading.

— Rupert Sheldrake, scientist, actually - currently biologist, — she spoke quietly, turning off the recording. — Theorized about atoms, which was actually proven a few years ago, have weight, but in this weight they carry widely understood knowledge. The atoms „communicate” with each other by the use of a morphogenetic field - which is, for us, the apartment complex. One thousand people were experimented on in the United Kingdom, answering a question about what's on two paintings. On one of them, there was a dog; on the other one - a woman in a hat, but here's the catch - these pictures looked similar to Rorschach test ones. — Unmei paused for a moment. — You know, those dark splotches on light background which are used in the psychiatric field. Anyway, back to the point - 3.9% of surveyed could recognize a dog, and 9.2% surveyed could recognize the lady. Next time they conducted the experiment they got much better results - about 10% rate with the dog, and 20% rate with the lady. It could possibly mean that this knowledge was already „discovered” and then „stored”, or rather „kept” in the morphogenetic field, transferred later on by more surveyed subjects. If there is someone who knows where the safe zone is, it's the tagger, and their knowledge - in theory - is stored in the atoms around us

Unmei waited a little bit for Chishiya to catch up to her with his thinking.

— Nonetheless, I don't really believe in this version of the theory. But if the tagger knows where the safe zone is, he'll reveal it to us sooner or later by protecting the right door. When the players are in enough distance, then he'll start actually chasing them. — she paused again. — There was no player limit, so they have to carry enough ammo and weapons for not only a few, but maybe even tens of people, meaning we cannot take them one-by-one. Have you already counted their magazine capacity? Tagger keeps going around the middle floors, so one of these doors could be the solution. Let's say that this apartment complex has one hundred flats, and there are fourteen of players - seven doors for each player to check, if we assume all of us are alive and we'll keep checking them efficiently, one by one. it's impossible to do in twenty, — she checked her phone. — Ten minutes.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei could deduce earlier that Shuntarō was a man of few words, who preferred acting from speaking. It was the case even now. Chishiya partly observed the tagger wandering around the lower levels, but partly listened to Unmei's words. It didn't seem like the massacre surrounding them was a problem to Shuntarō, quite the opposite - at times a dark smile would appear on his face when the echoes of players choking on their own blood reached their ears.

— It's good that you added that you don't believe in that theory. It sounds as probable as building your life on horoscopes. — he answered dryly, scanning Unmei from head to toe.

Shuntarō shook his head and then a focused look appeared on his face. He agreed with the part where Unmei mentioned that the tagger will lead them to the goal of the game.

— A standard machine pistol has either twenty-five or thirty-two bullets in its magazine. I assume the second option is more proba- — Shuntarō was cut off by a rain of bullets directed at someone on the other side of the complex. The tagger emptied out the whole magazine.

— Thirty two. — he said quickly, leaning over the balcony to check where the bullets go. Why would someone shoot from such a distance? From a weapon which loses its effectiveness the further it is from the target? They would shoot if someone is close to the right room - Chishiya answered his own question. 

After a second he pulled out the phone and opened the camera app, zooming on the walls of the opposite floors. Analyzing the angle in which the bullets entered the room is on the...

♠♥♦♣

— Do I believe in the experiment? Not necessarily. But I do believe in the theory itself. — said Unmei, leaning over the balcony. The girl with the short dark brown hair has just climbed over the railing to the upper floor, a salvo of bullets behind her, moments before she begged an older lady to change the floors with her.

— Morphogenetic fields are confirmed to exist by science. Besides, you're a Scorpio.

Blue ducked behind the half-wall, covering his ears in panic. Shaggy, despite the stern 'no' he heard from Hawaii, rushed to help Blue. Unmei tilted her head, paying close attention to them. Chishiya and her both answered the question about the safe room at the same time. Getting there was the problem.

— Hey everyone! — shouted Shaggy, revealing himself for a second. — Let's tell each other where the tagger is! We will find the safe room together!

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō furrowed his brows and shot an irritated glance towards Unmei - then his gaze snapped to the girl that was prepping for a run in the lobby. Looks like it wasn't a run, but rather a quick climb around the complex. She was hanging from one of the balconies now.

— Ideal moment for discussing scientific theories. — he said ducking back behind the balcony, when a salvo of bullets flew their way.

Chishiya's eyes wandered towards the lower levels where the two young men were running about, and soon one of them spoke inviting all of the participants to work together. And he was right, there was no way Chishiya and Unemi could clear the game by themselves in the time which was left.

— Second floor, northern corner! — Chishiya shouted leaning over the balcony just to be greeted by 9mm bullets again.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei hid behind the wall, her head low, almost between her knees, as she squatted. She didn't come out when Shuntarō decided to get a look at the tagger yet again, only to hear him shout. She quickly put her hands on his head, pushing it down, pulling on his hair. It worked best, she knew it really well from her own experience.

Unmei held him like this for a second, their foreheads touching - she had to use her body weight to make sure he ducks on time, before a bullet makes its way into his skull. She held him in place for a few more seconds, not letting go, as to make sure he's not gonna get up.

— As I said, — she hissed, her voice barely audible from gunshots. — Don't get in my way. What do you think you're doing?

Her once ice-cold eyes were now ablaze, burning their way through Chishiya right into his non-existent soul. It was a scream-whisper, and as she let go, she started moving, her body as low as possible, knees on the rugged concrete. That'll leave bruises, for sure.

five minutes remaining.

— We'll take care of the tagger! — shouted Beach member number one, and as Unmei took a quick look around her surroundings, Hawaii responded. — You guys find the safe zone!

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō laughed maybe a bit too loudly when his hair got snatched and pulled down by Unmei, then for their foreheads to touch - the woman not letting go of the clump of strands she clinged to, hissed at him through clenched teeth while Chishiya was still laughing in her face - literally.

— Mind the hair. — Shuntarō said through his giggling, then his demeanor changed drastically, his eyes became emotionless and a twisted grin appeared on his face.

— You are very annoying, you know? If you want me out of your way, sure. How about we bump up the difficulty level then?

He leaned over the balcony again and shouted to get the horse-head's attention, then got up and sprinted to the elevator, barely ducking through a barrage of 9mm bullets leaving marks in the wall behind him. His pulse was up, he was ecstatic, he finally felt something - anger, passion, the thrill of life. He had five minutes, the shout should give him at least a few seconds before the horse-head appears on the highest floor. He took Unmei's shoe that was stuck in the door - clicked the floor he last saw the horseman on and exited the elevator.

He then turned to Unmei and waved at her.

— Have fun! — he shout-whispered to the girl before turning around and sprinting down the staircase to the 4th floor.

[sofoulandfairaday]

What are your favourite aspects of Bellamort? What made you ship it in the first place?

Hello, dearest!

How wonderful to log back in on Tumblr and find one of your asks! Even though it is absolutely not an easy one. How - where - do I even begin?

I guess that what attracted me first, back in 2013, was probably Bellatrix. I have always been fascinated with villains, especially women, especially ones who fall under the "wicked witch, but complex" trope. But Bellatrix is so much more. She is still one of my favourite characters of all time, years later, and I don't need to tell you just how wonderful she is.

And, of course, there's Voldemort, whom I was fascinated with even before Bella was introduced in the series. You know, it was already apparent to me, as an 11-12-year-old back when I read the books for the first time, that they were lovers. Maybe I didn't grasp all of their complexities straight away, but it just seemed so obvious to me. I was shocked when I went online for the first time and people were fervently denying this. I'm actually mad that it took Cursed Child (which I don't really like, at all) to make it canon when it was clearly in the author's intentions from the start.

It was, honest to God, the only romance in the entire HP universe I was interested in. One thing I liked about the saga was that it didn't contain romance, it was clearly about another kind of love (friendship, loyalty, family). BUT I couldn't get enough of Bellamort.

I guess what I liked most is that they are the opposite of mundane. I love the complexity of the characters, their intrinsic tragedy. Voldemort will never truly recognize what they have as love, even in the best-written fanfictions, he is only IC, to me, when he denies his feelings - it's not love, it's adoration; it's not faith, it's loyalty. Dumbledore says that Tom Riddle could have been saved if he had been loved... but he was, loved. And it was the kind of love that corrupts, not the one that saves (Bella, in this case). I love that it makes both of them more complicated, deeper characters.

I also think that part of their beauty is the mystery, the fact that we get to fill in the gaps. I have at least 10 different versions of Bellamort, from the coldest, most heartless, soul-wrenching ones, to the sweeter ones (if the word "sweet" could ever be used to describe these two).

I love their passion, their ruthlessness, the the-devil-and-his-witch dynamic they have, the obsession, the scream. The hope that even the darkest, most tortured souls can find solace (in each other), even if for a few seconds. And that's just the canon stuff.

Is it toxic? Sure. Are they both cunts? Oh, yeah. I love them for it. I also (and I'm a bit of a sadist, but this is fiction, who cares) love the Hurt/Comfort dynamic of their relationship.

Is the 25-year gap dubious when she's 17 and he's 42? Yeah.

I don't believe in the "love at first sight" version of Bellamort - I believe he was fascinated and impressed with her, enough to take her under his wing, his first apprentice in the Dark Arts. And then, then she grew on him, day after day after day. She becomes familiar, and he finds himself knowing more and more about her, wanting to know more and more about her. That's who Bella is to him: the one who always stays. Everyone leaves, no one is worthy of trust. But Bella always comes through for him. She accepts to be sent into Hell for him, and then she discovers that Hell is just a place without him. He screams at the end of DH because, when she falls, she's failed him. His last, best lieutenant, the one who always found her way back to him, is dead.

She made herself indispensable to him, without him realizing it for a long time. When he does, he's powerless. Sure, he humiliates her, perhaps treats her cruelly even, but I am 100% sure that he always goes back to comfort her later. When the time comes to actually hurt her (= Harry & Co. escape from Malfoy Manor), she is unscathed. Lucius, poor thing, still carries signs of his punishment weeks after that. And this is Voldemort. I am always perplexed when people say "oh, how can he love her if he does A, B, C"... You guys do realize that we are talking about Voldemort here? And that is the whole point. Also, Bella wasn't exactly a kitten, was she?

What else? They clearly have great sex. I said what I said.

[kyogre-blue]

CF, let's go!

Immediately more amusing than SS by virtue of the fact that I care about the enemy units. Yes, Rhea looks so cool, Flayn is so cool, Catherine yeeeeeah. Very nice, I'm very happy.

Jokes aside, CF is looking very interesting from the perspective of speculating about 3H's production process.

From what I recall of the interviews, it seems they added CF comparatively late, due to simping reasons. That's interesting in itself, because Edelgard was given a lot of focus in development, given stuff like the early drafts of her also being able to Divine Pulse. But I guess it was only later in that they realized that, yeah, giving her a route would be cool and probably the most unique thing they could do.

Anyway, given its weird development, CF has a lot of strangeness about it. It's the shortest route by a good margin (VW and AM have 10 chapter each, SS has 9 due to Gronder being cut, but CF has only 6). There is only one actually unique map, I believe (Tailtean), but the chapters are reshuffled in completely different order from VW-SS-AM having basically the exact same progression. At the same time, is a very obvious lack of pre-rendered cutscenes and even in-engine scenes to some extent.

So the impression I get is that it was added late, so they couldn't produce certain assets like cutscenes or more than six chapters, but at the same time, they had a lot more passion for it, since they created a unique progression and honestly Edelgard has been emoting more in one scene than the entire Academy phase.

My dudes.... perhaps you should have started from the villain route and just gone full in, instead of the limp-wristed SS stuff, which supposedly was written first out of everything.

Live blogging notes:

I like how Edelgard is in her school uniform during the pre-battle scene in the Holy Tomb, but is then in the Flame Emperor outfit post-battle. Girl took the time to change, I see. It's not really a huge deal, but it's so lacking in attention to detail, sigh.

Man, furious antagonist Rhea is so cool. Very nice.

The Immaculate One is just a still here, where it was always a cinematic in the other routes.

"The monsters that have controlled Fodlan in secret for far too long" Edelgard again attributing things the Agarthans have done to the Nabateans.

We book it. Only respect for Rhea.

Hum... all the BE students escape with us to one of the Imperial army's provisional camps. Except Flayn, obviously. The students give a mix of reasons why they're siding with Edelgard, and they're fine. Kinda mild, but whatever. The music really gets me. Cute bubbly track while everyone is like "well, I wasn't thinking and just ran" or "I have political reasons" and then it switches to Edelgard's imperial march theme, and man. It's really something.

Yeah, Edelgard's anti-Church pitch is kinda... lol. Given that her own henchmen was like "steal all the bones! desecrate those graves! kill everyone!"

"[The Church's] control over the lords of the Kingdom and the Alliance is nearly absolute" L M A O

This is hilarious. Admittedly already more fun than SS.

Edelgard admits to being well aware of how much chaos and destruction she is bringing about based on just her own will. She knows she is the cause of countless deaths. But she still says she wants to bring down the church.

Except, of course, the Church hasn't done anything to her lol Edelgard's manifesto will expose "the foul practices of the nobles from the Kingdom and Alliance" like what tho

Byleth is going to lead a special "Black Eagle Strike Force"

oh ho.... we're exploring a non-monastery area! very nice

Quickly noting: We skip the entire last month of Academy Phase, going from 2/29 for the Holy Tomb directly to 3/30 for the pre-assault camp.

Edelgard B: takes place in her monastery bedroom, which is funny at this juncture. She talks about how she'd like a day to just idle away and eat sweets, and also how without Byleth she would have become a harsh leader with a heart of ice (ok, sure) and how everyone else always treated her as an untouchable princess or emperor, didn't look her in the eye, etc. Ferdinand does not exist, I guess. It's very staple as a concept, but the details aren't really in place for this. At best, you can say this hinges more on her own perceptions -- she never respected anyone else until Byleth enough to let them approach her as anything except pawns and vassals. Self-imposed trials and all that.

Roundup of the kids: Ingrid wants to try to persuade her father to join Edelgard but thinks he probably won't, Caspar's father is leading the "western units" and he'd have had to fight him if he stayed at the monastery, Linhardt calls out that the biggest nobles in the empire stripped Edie's dad of his powers but are now supporting her to smoothly take the throne (weird!), Ferdie acknowledges that his father is greedy and arrogant but feels that he did a lot of work for the empire only to now be disgraced (stripped of his rank and under house arrest), Bernie has less thoughts in her head than Caspar, Felix has like two lines lol, Leonie is just directly with Byleth and no one else, Ashe emphasizes that he can't trust the Church after Lonato and Christophe, Sylvain is kind of mess, thinking of his father, Dimitri, how he might die in the fighting, etc.

Hubert says it's not up to Edelgard to bring the students to our cause, which is... kinda wild. Why is it not up to her. Based on the rest of the dialogue, he means the recruited students from other houses, but uuuh given 3H quality, I expect he says this even if you haven't recruited, and also the phrasing is very vague to begin with.

Garreg Mach has never been attacked, so no one really knows how well it can stand against assault. Edelgard is confident in our power "from a mathematical standpoint."

Ladislava leads Edelgard's personal guard. There's also Randolph von Bergliez. His mother married into Caspar's family but this was after his birth. Unclear if this means he's from a previous relationship of hers, or if he wasn't legitimized despite being from a Bergliez fling. That explains one random battle line I got from him when attacking as Caspar on SS.

There's a couple stray comments from NPCs about Rhea turning into a beast (which happened down in the Holy Tomb where only a few people were, so... curious an NPC knows) and about not entirely believing Edelgard but supporting her for now.

Overall battle plan for the assault: Edelgard (+Byleth) leads an elite force that strikes as close to the monastery as possible, planning to draw attention of the elite Knights and Rhea's ire. Meanwhile, the main forces that marched in from the capital will surround and "annihilate" the remaining areas.

Another still of the Immaculate One after the battle, no CG. The entire scene is just one still, headshots of models talking and some filter to show that "the castle" is "crumbling." And that's it, wow.

Without Rhea fighting Thales and trying to save Byleth, she's well enough to flee to Faerghus. Nice!

Dimitri is King <3

Claude "strategically stirs up conflict between Leicester lords in an effort to maintain neutrality" lmao

Sothis is cool with you even after the Edelgard simping shenanigans, I guess.

The Imperial Army is holding the monastery, which is different from the other routes.

Edelgard emotes?? At the reunion with Byleth. WOW

Another still, no cutscene.

Edelgard's dialogue here... has almost the exact same beats as Claude's which is a bit funny.

Recap again that Dimitri is King and supporting the Church, Claude is being neutral, though Edelgard makes it clear this is a negative. His leadership "has thrown the Alliance into chaos."

OK, so Edelgard directly says we're going to eliminate the Church, the Kingdom and the Allaince. We're out to get them all, and the first target is Claude because Riegan has been standing against the Empire. To secure a route for imperial troops into the Alliance, we'll take out the big bridge first. At the same time, we'll take out Judith and since her territory is on the border with the Kingdom, getting her out of the way will be useful too.

[denimbex1986]

'“You’re an Irishman, are ya?” Cillian Murphy says, his features visibly softening, as I begin talking over Zoom. “Thank god.”

Two truisms about Cillian Murphy that are often repeated online: He hates doing interviews, but he loves Ireland. If he must talk to the press – which, being the lead of Christopher Nolan's mammoth blockbuster Oppenheimer, he absolutely must – the least I can do is give him a chance to talk about our shared homeland. So, with this introduction, we're off to a good start.

It's about 10 days before Oppenheimer drops, but Murphy and the big A-bomb movie – along with Greta Gerwig's Barbie – already seem to be taking up the majority of the internet's consciousness. In the film, he plays J Robert Oppenheimer, the man credited with leading the creation of the atomic bomb during World War Two. Though he has starred in a handful of Christopher Nolan blockbusters already, this is his first as a proper leading man. So, the scrutiny is greater than ever. He is wearing it well. “I'm not a huge fan of talking about myself,” he says, “but I fully believe in this movie, and I love promoting it. So I'm very comfortable with all of that.”

GQ: How often do you get people calling you “Sillian”?

Cillian Murphy: Less and less now actually. But it doesn't bother me. Then I very pedantically explain to them that there's no ‘K’ in the Irish language and it gets really boring.

You used to live in London, but moved to Dublin in 2015. I heard you said your kids were getting English accents so you took them home.

Yeah. That was a joke. [Laughs].

Well, people have really run with it. Do you need to personally relate to characters, and could you do so with Oppenheimer?

Well, first of all, it's imperative not to judge the character. Because then you've lost as a performer. You have to try and understand [them]. You have to be like a kind of emotional detective. But your job primarily is to define the truth in the character to try and portray them in a truthful way.

Emily Blunt said recently that during filming you didn't go for cast dinners because your ‘brain was too full’. Robert Downey Jr. said that at times it felt like you were ‘icing’ him. How much did playing Oppenheimer affect you?

It was a big part, and there were big, big questions that were grappling with, these huge ethical, moral questions. And Chris had written the script in the first person. So I knew that a lot of the weight was on my shoulders, even though we have this incredible ensemble. There was a responsibility that I felt about playing the part. That's just the way I work. I get very consumed by the work, and I don't really have time for hanging out. And in this movie, I was [regularly] skipping dinner, you know, so I wasn't great craic to hang out with. But that's just the way it was. It's just the nature of the work.

You’re not method, though, right?

Well, here's the thing, right? Method is like a euphemism. We all have a method to get to the final result. And whatever that method is, it's personal and unique to each actor. It's become sort of confused, I think, with the Stanislavski approach. But every actor has their own individual method.

Yeah. But you’re not what people generally view to be method, staying in character the whole time?

Inevitably, if you play a character for a long time, and I was researching him for six months, then shooting it for however long that was.. And you're playing them 18 hours a day every day. By osmosis, you're exchanging atoms, You become consumed or immersed [by it], that's just the way it is.

You mentioned skipping meals. What was the weirdest food day that you had while you were losing all that weight?

Oh, man. I just want to be very careful on this. This was for work, and we structured it pretty well. Inevitably, you do start getting competitive with yourself and all that, but it was for a purpose. He was a very, very slight guy. And he was very self-conscious about that. And it gave him this very unique, particular kind of iconic silhouette. And when you're that weight, it affects the way clothes hang on you, it affects the way you walk, it obviously changes the shape of your face and all that. So that was very useful for the character. But I really don't want to make a big deal about ‘oh, Cillian lost all this weight’.

Taking this lead role on has brought a lot of attention. I've read recent interviews you've done that it's not necessarily your favourite thing. Do you at times feel like the pressure of being the leading man, especially in a movie on this scale is a lot to deal with?

Yeah, but to clarify the thing about interviews, I love talking about the movie, I love talking about music and books and art. I'm not a huge fan of talking about myself. And I don't, and I don't think anyone really is, but I fully believe in this movie, and I love promoting it. So I'm very comfortable with all of that. And in terms of, you know, how it changes your life or anything like that, or changes how people perceive you that that hasn't changed for me, you know, my life has been exactly the same as it always was.

The Oppenheimer script is very dense. How much does that impact how you go about shooting it?

You have to be completely prepared. I knew the script more or less before we went into work, which isn't so not something I've ever done before. Only in theatre, because there was so much text, and it was quite dense. I wanted to not be worried about the text when I went on the floor. But then, a lot of the scenes I have with Downey, it was quite loose and quite improvisational. I mean, acting with him was was was was just extraordinary. He's just electrifying, the most available engaged, present, unpredictably brilliant actor I've ever worked with.

The film ends on a close-up shot of you, taking in the weight of what the preceding 3 hours have meant for the future of mankind. What are you thinking in that moment when you’re shooting it, knowing you’ve got the weight of the movie on your shoulders?

You can't let it get into your head. You've just got to think about the truth of the scene. For example, when we were shooting the Trinity test, all of us actors and Chris and all the crew, were aware of the weight of that sequence, and what it meant, but you can't let it control you, you know. And I think I've learned that over the years, you know, when you get on the floor, and you get on, you just forget about that stuff. You have to train your mind to not let it affect your performance.

Were you there for the actual explosion that was created?

I was there for components of it. There are different sort of sections of it. I was there for some of it. With Chris, everything is done for real. I've never done a green screen scene with Chris and I never will, I imagine. So what it does is it puts the performer into the atmosphere, or the environment as close as possible to what the character is feeling. You know, and I've, I've been out in boats with Chris on the sea and up in mountains in the snow. It just elevates your performance.

There has been a lot of chatter about the sex scene in this movie, and a wider chat about whether sex scenes are necessary in film at all. Where do you fall on that?

I think they were vital in this in this movie. I think the relationship that he has with Jean Tatlock is one of the most crucial emotional parts of the film. I think if they're key to the story then they're worthwhile. Listen, no one likes doing them, they're the most awkward possible part of our job. But sometimes you have to get on with it.

With a bit of distance between yourself and Oppenheimer, are you able to judge him just a little bit?

I'm really not going to give you an opinion on that. I really strongly believe that the film should ask the questions of the audience. And I don't want to prejudice anybody's point of view, when they go into the movie theatre, about what how they feel and Oppenheimer. What I will say, is that Oppenheimer – Chris called him the most important man that ever lived, whatever you think about that. That's up to you. But we are living in a world that was changed by Oppenheimer. We're living in a nuclear age because of what Oppenheimer did.

You and Christopher Nolan have discussed how you nearly got the role of Batman. Is there a part of you that thinks that it was maybe for the best that you didn’t?

Yes, I think it was for the best because we got Christian Bale's performance, which is a stunning interpretation of that role. I never considered myself as the right physical specimen for Batman. To me, it was always going to be Christian Bale.

Tom Hardy didn’t make it into this Nolan film. Do you have plans to work together again?

He's one of the best actors in the business. And we've developed this great trust and shorthand and there's a nice kind of chemistry, I think, between the two of us. I'd love to work with him again. Maybe there'll be a Peaky Blinders film. Maybe we'll get to do it there. I'm not sure.

What’s the latest on the Peaky Blinders film?

I have no update for you, man. I'm waiting to hear, but it's a tricky time with all these strikes and everything going on. I’ve always said that if there's more story to tell, I'd be there.'