#i could be wrong because i'm biased and pay more attention to them

[tinderbox210]

La’an Noonien-Singh and Spock + in sync

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - season 1 & season 2

[pepperf]

I'm a little puzzled by a few takes I've seen along the lines of, Lila was such a great wife and mother and Diego took her for granted! Because I don't think the show gave us that at all, and I think it relied heavily and lazily on societal norms to get the audience to make that leap. It also ignored previous characterisation, which is why I plan to disregard the season as a whole - because if the characters had been like this from the start, I wouldn't have fallen in love with them.

So, what I mean is: the whole time we see her as a parent, Lila is basically phoning it in. She seems to view her kids as one monolithic, sticky entity sent purely to ruin her day (distinct shades of the Handler there). They're just a list of chores - diapers, dentist, ballet, cake, piñata... And I'm not underestimating how much parenting really is a list of chores to be done - but that's all we see, no love, no fun. She's eager to get away from them, and she's only - finally - desperate to be with them when it's convenient for the plot, at which point we're supposed to buy the idea that her kids are her sole focus (not the relationship that they spent the past two seasons building up). And even then, the focus is not on the reunion with the kids, it's on all the awkwardness of the surprise love triangle. Hell, one of the kids doesn't even get a name.

Their intent might have been to have Lila be the better parent, but like much of this season, it's all tell and no show. We're working off a couple of brief conversations from the points of view of two frustrated, tired, biased individuals who are already at odds with one another, plus the evidence of what they actually do. They show that they’re not communicating well, but they don’t show how that happened, how long this has been growing, if one of them really is more at fault. All we know is that he complains a lot, and she’s sneaking out at night to play secret agent. They tell us that she loves her children (eventually, after seven years apart), but they show her being annoyed and/or bored in every normal, non-apocalyptic interaction. They have her (and Five) tell us that Diego is a bad husband, but they show Lila sniping at his weight, his way of running a birthday party, rolling her eyes at his efforts to impress her and regain her attention - and they show him dadding at everyone (he will turn this van around, so help him), the comfortable love and affection between him and his kids, the Punjabi he learned to speak fluently to his in-laws, him looking for ways to fix his marriage...

Take the bracelet thing, for example. "You hate bracelets," says Diego. "I gave you one for Valentines and you traded it for a Dyson vacuum." I think what we're supposed to take from that is a) Lila stopped wearing the wooden bracelet (uh oh, signs the honeymoon period has worn off!), b) Diego gives thoughtless, stereotypical gifts, and c) he doesn't understand what she really wants.

But an alternative reading is this: a) Lila stopped wearing the wooden bracelet (could not be a clearer or more loaded 'fuck you' to Diego), b) Diego tried to find another way to win her affection (on his pay as a delivery driver, with a wife and three kids to support, he managed to buy a bracelet that was expensive enough to trade for a Dyson?), and c) she rejected that gift as well, without any deeper explanation than 'I hate bracelets'. She's shut down all communication between them and is not telling him what's wrong. She has shut him out so comprehensively that she's got a whole undercover life - for which she apparently has the time and energy! - and yet we're supposed to think that oh it's all on Diego. Why? Lila is not a shy and retiring flower, and she and Diego have been shown before to have some very sincere heart-to-hearts about their relationship. Something changed, okay, fine - but why would we assume it was Diego that caused that?

I think our expectations about What Women Are Like are doing a LOT of the heavy lifting in how the show wants Lila to be perceived. She's a woman, and therefore she's automatically a good wife and mother - that she's emotionally intelligent, the organiser, she'll love her children and would do anything for them, she'll tried the hardest to make her marriage work, just...because boobies, I guess. This is not how you write good parents, or good female characters, TUA! A truly astonishing amount of people actually ARE women, and they know that it doesn't automatically confer any kind of maternal or wifely abilities! These things have to be worked on!

(In real life, women are often socialised to be better at these things, this is sadly true. But an awful lot of us do not have an innate talent for it, and there's no shame in that. And, more relevantly to this post, this is not real life, and Lila is not your average person. She's not normal, and I love that about her. She was raised to be a weapon. Do we really think the Handler installed the 'homemaker' module? Lila herself said that she was scared that she wouldn't know how to be a mother, because she had no good example to base it on.)

I also think the show assumes that, when you get married and have kids, you're automatically granted a house in the suburbs, a bunch of in-laws, and enough money from just the husband's job to get by. And I think that is an incredibly privileged and blinkered assumption. Frankly, unless her parents are financing them, they should be struggling a lot more. None of that is explained, and for me it was a real gap, because these are the arguments that Lila and Diego should be having. Lila caring for the kids versus getting a job. Living with family versus striking out on their own. Diego sticking at a job that makes him miserable and difficult to live with, or taking the huge financial risk of trying to find something better. These are the real life issues they should be facing.

Listen, I think the characterisation of Lila as a parent and spouse in this season is horseshit. I think she would be so much better than they showed - of course she's going to have some low times, she's going to struggle with her own upbringing, but I think she would try her damndest to get it right, and I don't think she'd be defeated so easily. But if we're dealing with what canon actually shows us, she's, uh, kind of mediocre as a mother, and really not that great as a partner.

And yes, I'm sure Diego is no angel, either, he's obviously wrapped up in his problems, and he's probably not much fun to be around when he's fixating on, uh, *checks notes* wanting a more fulfilling job (the fiend). But honestly, he's not that far removed from the Diego we've seen all along, the one she fell in love with. It takes one conversation for him to realise how incredibly fortunate he is, and to convince him to try to work harder on his relationship and stop focusing on the unobtainable. The idea that he's the only one who is failing at this whole gig - the chief culprit in the failure of their marriage, the only one who needs to make an effort to fix things - is bizarre. And it's pretty obvious why they've done it: to justify her thing with Five later and make it all seem more palatable. But there's no real substance behind it.

tl;dr: this season was badly-written, takes some incredibly antiquated attitudes towards the role of women that are inconsistent with the characters they themselves established, and some incredibly classist attitudes towards manual labour, and just hopes that you'll either take it at face value or read the fuck into it, to better sell you a shitty romance that added nothing to the plot.

[devilstruly]

TRUE BEAUTY

pairing - kuroo tetsuro x gn. reader

includes - mutual pining, not really confessing but also not being very subtle about it either, late night talking, commenting on the plot of a kdrama. y/n mentioned once but i promise i had a good reason

a/n - this is mostly inspired by my internal monologue while watching the show, ergo the reader is rooting for seo-jun (i'm biased sorry). also reader is ticklish. i know it's another kuroo one i'm sorry but this man is so ugh

1.14 am

‘That's fucking adorable! Fuckkkk, why is he so cute! Oh my god!’ 

You found yourself snuggled into Kuroo's side comfortably, with his arm draped over the back of the couch and a blanket shared between the two of you. 

‘What the fuck is cute about that?!’ He rolled his eyes at your reaction, his arm flailing around to emphasize his words.

‘He's making up rumors about them dating!’

‘Yeah because he likes her! He just doesn't know how to express his feelings, okay? He's traumatized.’ 

‘Everyone is traumatized, that's not an excuse. Plus, don't you always say it's best to be upfront about things?’

‘He is being upfront about it! She's just oblivious!’ 

'Like you would know.'

Kuroo turned his head to the side slightly so he could mumble a response, quietly enough so that you couldn't pick up on it.

‘What was that?’ 

‘Nothing. I just can't believe you're making excuses for that asshole.’ 

Hadn't it been for you being very deeply invested into the drama as well, you would definitely giggle at Kuroo's persistence.

But alas, that wasn't the case. 

‘That's because he has a bike and good fashion sense.’ 

Kuroo huffed. ‘What's with you and bikes?’

While stating your answer, you shifted your position slightly so you'd be more comfortable, and in addition, almost naturally, Kuroo's arm wrapped around your shoulder to pull you closer.

‘They're cool.’ You replied with a grin, to which Kuroo huffed again. ‘Oh and, I like his eyes too. They're similar to yours.’

Not thinking much of your words, you continued to watch the show unfold, head resting on Kuroo's chest. You had almost forgotten about what you said, but Kuroo finally broke the silence after a while.

‘You like my eyes?’  

Barely paying attention to the television, he now faced you fully, thankful to the darkness of the room for hiding his blush. 

‘Hm? Oh yeah.’ As you finally acknowledged the proximity when you lifted your head, you could feel a blush of your own starting to creep up on your neck.

‘They're really pretty.’ You added after not being able to look away from the golden hues for god knows which time.

With a small smile you went back to your initial position, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself whilst Kuroo tried his best to process the newly received information. 

2.01 am

‘No! No, you dumb fuck! Ugh!’ 

A loud groan echoed in the room before you covered your face with your hands in agony. Kuroo's hand was patting your back gently, though not very sincerely since he was wearing a satisfied expression as he watched the screen. 

‘There there.’ 

‘Fuck off, you like this!’ 

With a huff you untangled yourself from Kuroo's limbs, scooting all the way to the other end of the couch. 

‘I just think it works better!’ Kuroo himself raised his hands in defense, but his smile remained. 

‘Bullshit! He is clearly the better option! He treats her so much better!’ 

‘But they're already dating and she loves her boyfriend. Besides, nothing's wrong with him either.’

‘No it's not, but Seo-jun is simply better.’ 

‘You're just biased because he has a bike.’

‘I'm not! I mean yeah that's a plus, but not that important! He even gave her the keys, come on!’ 

‘Oh so if it were you, you'd dump Soo-ho?’

You immediately recognized the sly undertone in Kuroo's voice and huffed whilst you turned to face him.

‘That's not what I'm saying. And she shouldn't dump him. She shouldn't be with him in the first place. Ugh, this is why relationships are dumb.’

This seemed to get the man's attention, and he readjusted his position on the couch, now barely looking at the TV. 

‘You don't want a relationship?’ His tone became much softer than the previous question, which to you was a clear indicator that the conversation had suddenly become serious. 

You chose to write the change off as the late hour delirium. 

‘I mean…it's not that I don't want it, it's just like- not right now. I don't know. I mean if the person I like is - um - will be someone I can't imagine my life without, then I'd drop this…way of thinking.’

‘Oh.’ 

The one syllable Kuroo managed to get out had you turning your head towards him in confusion, only to be met with the sight of him mumbling something under his breath. 

Opting not to point it out at the moment, you tried to distract him instead. 

‘And you?’ His head shot up in an instant. ‘What's your take on relationships?’ 

Suddenly looking anywhere but you, Kuroo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, making you raise your eyebrows as a silent way of urging him to reply. 

‘Uh…I don't- well- that's a lot of work that I don't have time for. But I think they're…great.’ 

He mentally cursed himself for his choice of words. 

‘So…’ You began, a dangerously serious expression on your face. ‘...If you were to like someone that liked you back…what would you do?’ 

Patiently waiting for an answer, you hugged your knees to your chest and rested your cheek on top of them. Unable to formulate a reply, Kuroo blinked a couple of times before taking a deep breath and slowly letting the words leave his mouth. 

‘I suppose…I would ask them out.’ 

‘Oh? Good to know.’ Your eyes widened in surprise, and a teasing smile graced your features before you turned your attention back towards the television. 

On the contrary, Kuroo still sat frozen in place, eyes glued to your side profile. 

‘Wh- what do you mean good to know?! For what?!’ 

‘Shhhh, I'm watching my husband.’ 

‘Nuh uh. Explain.’

Your attempts to distract your friend proved futile and with a frustrated sigh you defended yourself.

‘There's nothing to explain!’

‘Yes there is.’

‘Not.’ 

‘y/n.’ 

‘Tetsuro.’ 

‘Oh so we're on Tetsuro now?’ 

The sudden change in Kuroo's tone was drastic enough to cause you to tense, not turning to face him for the sake of saving youtself from a heart attack. 

‘I- forget I said that.’ You blurted out once you finally mustered up the courage to look at him. As quickly as you said that you turned your head back around, failing to notice an idea flash across Kuroo's face. 

Shuffling sounds reached your ears but you paid them no mind, until you felt a pair of hands tickling your sides. On instinct you squealed and flinched away, but with the man's quick reflexes it made no difference. 

‘Wait wait- stop! Kuroo!’ You managed to get out between tears of laughter and uncontrollable shaking, much to Kuroo's entertainment. 

‘I'll stop when you explain yourself.’ The smile on his face kept growing by each passing moment whilst your cries became louder. 

‘I will! Just- stop- please!’ Your words were barely audible by this point, but Kuroo decided to be generous and simply flopped on top of you. 

With his ear right above your heart, he could feel the rapid thumps and the heavy breathing whilst you tried to calm down. 

It was once you finally managed to get your senses back that you became aware of your position, and so your heart rate remained quick as it was. 

‘Kuroo?’ 

‘Hm?’ 

‘What are you doing?’ 

‘Me? Nothing ~’ 

Even though it was hard to see, you could practically feel the smile on his face growing. However, not minding the situation much, your hands threaded through his hair curiously and in return Kuroo became more at ease. 

3.46 am

‘Kuroo.’ 

‘I'm sleeping.’ 

‘Then go to bed.’ 

‘Just one more episode.’ 

The drowsiness started enveloping him progressively, yet he made no effort to acknowledge it - and neither did you. 

‘Fine.’ 

[vodika-vibes]

started reading Hard Contact and FI IS SOOOOOOO CUTE I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIMMMMMM GRRRRRRRHRHDHG

Could you pretty pretty please with a cherry on top write something goofy abt the reader getting cuteness aggression towards Fi… 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

Rainy Days

Summary: You’ve been dating Fi for about a year now, and you know that he’s the one for you. And, though you know it’s kind of strange, you can’t help but to stare at him.

Pairing: Fi Skirata x GN!Reader

Word Count: 748

Warnings: None

A/N: So I'm not sure if this is what you were looking for, but I hope you like it anyway. Also Spikea is Space Ikea. I'm so clever at naming things, I know~

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

You think you love rainy days.

You love how your home dims when the sky gets dark with storm clouds, and you love being able to sit in front of the window to watch the rain fall from the sky.

But, more importantly, you love that Fi stays home with you on rainy days.

Sometimes, the pair of you will put on a movie and you’ll cuddle together. Other times he’ll busy himself in the kitchen, trying new recipes. And, if it seems like it’s going to storm, you’ll put on music to distract him and dance with him around the house.

It’s not his fault he’s afraid of storms, after all. And anything you can do to make them easier on him, you will.

But, it’s not storming today.

Sure, it’s pouring rain, but there’s no thunder, lightning, or hail. Just water.

All the same, Fi is still home and you couldn’t be happier about it.

You shift so you’re able to fold your legs on the cushion that covered the window seat, and you focus your attention on Fi. He knows you’re there, but he’s not really paying attention to you.

Which is fine, you don’t need his attention every moment of every day.

He’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch, a disassembled side table spread out in front of him, and the instructions sitting in his hands. It’s the first of four side tables that need to be assembled.

To be fair, Spikea was having a sale and you got one of those side tables for free. And you and Fi really needed them. Though, you didn’t expect him to put them together. You were going to do it yourself, once you got some time to yourself.

But, you suppose he wanted to put them together for you.

You shift again, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as you watch him work. He reads aloud to himself when he’s focused hard on something. Not loud enough that you can hear him, but you can see his lips moving as he reads off the instructions.

And once again, you’re struck by both how much you love him, and how cute he is.

You absently tap out a rhythm on your knee, and then you unfold your legs and cross the room to Fi. He glances up at you just before you drape yourself across his back, your arms tight around him as you bury your face in his neck.

His hand comes up to press against the side of your face, “What’s this?”

“You’re just too cute, I had to come and hug you.”

You hear him laugh, and then you squeak in surprise when he effortlessly flips you over his shoulder and settles you on his lap, “There, now you can hug me better.”

“I was trying to hug you in a way that wasn’t distracting.” You counter, even as you slide your arms around his neck and pull yourself up so you’re able to hug him properly.

“Well, your hugs are always distracting, so that was never going to work.” Fi’s arms slide tightly around you, and you squeak again as he tightens his arms around you. “You’re just too cute, cyare.” He says with a grin as he presses a loud kiss to your cheek.

“Nuh-uh. You’re the cute one.” You reply, “I’m nothing compared to you.”

His grin widens and he lightly bumps his nose against yours, “Ooh, what’s it like to be so wrong all of the time?”

You pout at him, “I’m not wrong, you’re just biased.”

“Oh, absolutely. But I’m also right.” He kisses you quickly, “That’s just how it is.”

“Mm. Fine. I shall let you win today, but only because you’re cozy.”

“How magnanimous of you.” Fi kisses you again, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“You need to put these together, and I need to be in your way. So not right now.” You say with a small grin.

“Oh, so you wanna be a brat then.”

“Yep~” You chirp, making sure you pop the p annoyingly.

“Nice. That means I get to punish you,”

“Nope~”

“Well, I’m gonna do it anyway. Starting with a million kisses.” Fi replies with a small grin. And then he presses a loud kiss to your cheek, “One,” he leans in again to press another kiss to your cheek, and you dissolve into laughter.

Yeah. You love rainy days at home with Fi.

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[ukfrislandembassy]

I think that conlangs are a very useful way of seeing how the biases of linguistic theory manifest when applied by amateurs (and occasionally professionals). When linguists are promoting their theories they often like to make the claim that they can account for all phenomena, even if there's some clear foci for their actual attention. So the outputs of conlanging as a hobby make an interesting case study of the application of these theories, because the theories bias the kinds of structures conlangers actually end up including in their languages.

Specifically, it seems clear to me that internet-based conlangers especially show the clear effects of the assumptions made by what Jim Blevins terms the 'Post-Bloomfieldian Structuralism' that has been the default mode of linguistic analysis and theorising for decades now.

In phonology this manifests with the focus on phonemes and phoneme inventories, partly at the expense of phonotactics but especially phonetics. The result of this is a flattening of phonological structure; each of these phonemes ends up being tret as a unit of equal status within the system, with any kinds of distributional asymmetries between phones only included as an afterthought by means of some phonological rules.

It's why you get channels like Conlang Critic on Youtube pronouncing each of the individual phonemes of a conlang like that tells you what you need to know about the actual sound of a language. I rarely see any kind of restricted distribution or positional neutralisation of the kind seen in e.g. the Mandarin Chinese palatal series.

Morphology is where this kind of fixation most strongly manifests, because morphemes are an even worse fit for the morphological phenomena of natural languages than phonemes are for phonological phenomena. In effect what this leads to is the same kind of atomisation that we see with phonology; all 'morphemes' are tret as having equal status in the system, so you end up with a morphological system that just comes off as a phonologically more bound version of the syntax (but with more lists).

For instance, when was the last time you saw a conlang that made use of the concept of 'stem'? Or which showed syncretism between cells in paradigms? Have you ever seen a conlang that made use of a morphological pattern that could be considered 'morphomic'? I could go on.

None of these are somehow 'strange' or 'exotic' phenomena; they're found to some extent in pretty much all Romance languages, perhaps most elaborately in French, and much of this also crops up all over Germanic too.

I think there might be some of this tendency in the lexicon too; homophony and polysemy seem oddly infrequent in conlangs, even though they're ubiquitous in natlangs (English I/eye and you/ewe are particularly neat for showing that not even pronouns are safe from this). I've not got as much to say on this as I don't tend to pay so much attention to conlang lexicons, so I could be wrong on this one.

The actual relationship of conlangs to linguistic theory is messy, and I'm acutely aware that this is largely anecdotal. Indeed, plenty of experienced conlangers make a point of highlighting at least some of these issues, and there's definitely conlangs that avoid many of these issues (Siwa/Siųa is a good one for this, you'll have to dig through the thread to get to the actual grammar). My intent here is mainly to get some discussions going, because the real question is actually 'how do we get the conlang community to understand these phenomena and make use of them at the kinds of rates that we actually find in natural languages (which is pretty much any language with morphology, with maybe a couple of exceptions)?'

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Hi. I was just wondering how do you perceive canon Sirius? I haven’t read any of the books and I keep seeing different interpretations (psychotic bully top, Regina George, woke gen z etc etc) of this character it really makes me wonder.

Oh, that's a really good question...and you have no idea the novel-length response it's going to prompt from me, lol.

I'll give my short response first and only the brave and masochistic will need to venture below the cut...

Sirius was as good a person as most people can reasonably be. He suffered a lot in his life and didn't handle it very well. While he showed that he logically understood right and wrong, the moral complexity of the world, etc., he was ultimately someone who struggled to live by his own standards. A hypocrite, really, though I say that word a bit more softly than most. He spent half his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit yet still felt guilty for and was never really given the chance to properly mature.

Ultimately the words I would use would be immature, depressed, selfish, and regretful. Very much the poster child for displacement, ie: someone who has been hurt taking that anger and acting out towards others.

We learn directly who Sirius is after Azkaban, through his appearances in the first five books. And we learn indirectly about his Hogwarts years through a few flashbacks and lot of very biased recollections...

Because Harry Potter is the point of view character for the series, we don't ever get to see anyone else's thoughts, and so any interpretations of character motivations are going to get run through two filters: one is Harry's perception, and the second is the reader themselves.

That's a longform way of me admitting that my interpretations of Sirius Black may actually say more about me than they really do about him.

So I can't claim to be right or anything like that when I spout off how I personally feel about a secondary character like Sirius. But I do like to think my ideas are grounded in pretty solid logic. I guess I'll start off with what Sirius Black really isn't:

A woke gen z-er, as you put it lol. There's of course nothing wrong with someone going this route in their fanfics, it's all just for fun, and I like a lot of these works, personally. And I can see how and why people gravitate towards them. But I will warn anyone whose entire experience with the Marauders is coming from fanfics where Sirius Black is helping Timothee Chalamet his brother navigate his trans awaking and calming his lover Remus Lupin down from a panic attack using Tik-Tok approved counseling tricks to not go diving into the actual canon Harry Potter series expecting that....because you will not find it, lol.

An incestuous and abusive psychopath. I gotta' be fair and throw my own works under the same bus here. As much as I think I stick closer to canon Sirius in a lot of ways....the Sirius that pops up in my fanfic shenanigans is just as out of left field. As much as Sirius/Regulus has been my OTP for basically forever, I could never actually see canon-Sirius displaying the level of deliberate, active cruelty or complete lack of basic morality that I like to attach to him. Like other people giving him the vocabulary of a 2020's Tik-Tok star, it's just a fun fantasy on my end.

So I guess that leaves us with trying to figure out what exactly Sirius Black is. At least as far as we can surmise from his canon behaviors.

Full disclosure that I am not including Pottermore or any of JKR's random tweets. As far as I'm concerned, canon is the 7 main books and I don't pay attention to much else. So let's break it down book-by-book:

Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone: He's mentioned once here, just in passing. Hagrid talks about Sirius lending him his motorcycle to get Harry to the Dursleys' faster. With the context we later gain from book three, we can plausibly assume that Sirius Black is incredibly reactive, and quick to go all-in on things in the wake of a huge emotional upset. With his friends dead and Hagrid refusing to give him his godson, Sirius essentially 'throws away' his most prized possession and only getaway--his motorcycle--and then goes away with the Aurors, laughing loudly instead of trying to proclaim his innocence.

Prisoner of Azkaban: This is Sirius's book and he spends 80% of it as the villain, at least until the Truth(tm) is revealed at the end. But even though he's proven not to be a Death Eater or murderer, he still behaves alarmingly. It's explained that Sirius's innocence was the 'unhappy' thought that kept him sane in prison, but it didn't stop him from becoming obsessive. He's so consumed with the desire for revenge against Peter Pettigrew (not necessarily saying I blame him, lol) that he is willing to endanger and even outright hurt Harry and his friends to do so. He does make mention that part of his motivation was to 'save Harry' as he felt Peter being in disguise as a rat living at Hogwarts was dangerous to his godson. But he did almost choke the kid out in that shack when he got in the way of Peter Pettigrew Murder Time, lol. So Sirius was somewhat emotionally volatile. It's clear he doesn't always think things through before he acts.

This is further reiterated with the whole Snape-Lupin-James werewolf fun times fiasco. We don't get a direct and honest retelling of "The Prank" events ever, instead having to make due with different characters giving their opinions on decades-old memories. Dumbledore first presents the issue without mentioning Sirius at all, merely telling Harry in the first book that Snape "never forgave" James for saving his life and then trying to pass off all of Snape's behaviors towards Harry as a sort of begrudging protective role and half-assed effort to make even with a ghost. By book three we get more context and learn that James "saved" Snape after Sirius told him how to get to the Shack. Sirius clearly has a habit of razing things down in anger without thought towards the consequences, and then hiding from the responsibility, possibly from selfishness or guilt or both. We know that Remus, Lily and others were able to forgive him for nearly getting Snape killed and Remus imprisoned, so it's likely that his guilt over the situation was genuine.

Basically here we have someone who does not handle emotions well. Possibly an environmentally learned trait from growing up with the kind of parents that burn pictures of you and loudly declare you're not welcome at home anymore yet never actually disown you from their will...can't say for sure, but...ya' know...

Goblet of Fire: After the immediate chaos of breaking out of prison fades and Sirius has a support group of friends who know and believe he's innocent, he gets to transition a bit, and we see that he is also very protective and eager to be involved. He has a couple moments where he goes full Dad-mode on Harry, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledore finding him a good hiding spot in Hogsmeade was less of a "hey Sirius come hang out near the school" thing and more of an "okay I know I can't stop you from getting as close to Harry as possible, will you please at least stay in this safe hiding spot I found for you?" concession.

We also see Sirius criticizing Barty Crouch Sr. for not being there for his son. Sirius is able to connect the dots and comes to the logical conclusion that much of Barty Crouch Jr.'s behavior is the fault of his father for being uncaring in the first place. He sees that those around the Death Eaters do--in some cases--bear some blame for not paying attention, for not reaching out, and for ultimately setting them up to join Voldemort. Yet...Sirius does not seem willing to connect this realization to his own treatment of Severus Snape, his younger brother, or even Peter Pettigrew.

Order of the Phoenix: This is where we get the most of his character, I feel, and some of it is subtle. I'll admit that 90% of my characterization of Sirius as actually caring deeply for his brother comes from the sixth chapter:

"...my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them..."

...

"Was he killed by an Auror?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Oh no," said Sirius. "No, he was murdered by Voldemort...from what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do."

Harry asks if Regulus has been killed. And as Sirius corrects his assumptions about Reg being offed by an Auror, he also corrects the verb, from killed to murdered. And generally you don't describe a just killing as a murder. Death Eater or not, Sirius didn't think his brother deserved to die. He also admits that he went actively looking for information about Regulus. Again not the mark of someone who doesn't care.

And while I would describe Sirius as immature, that does not mean he was completely without maturity. He takes a lot of hits in this book, a lot of very harsh words get flung his way. He has to deal with Snape's constant snide remarks about how cowardly Sirius is for staying at home cleaning all day instead of fighting Voldemort, hell, he has to sit there and let the Weasley twins call him a coward to his face just because they're upset that their father has been injured and they're angry that Sirius is safe under house arrest while their parents aren't.

And all this because he's still a wanted fugitive, unable to venture outside safely. He wants to fight but can't. Powerlessness and depression hit him hard in this book.

In the chapter where Harry dives into Snape's pensieve we get our one and only 'objective' view of Sirius as a teenager, where it becomes clear that he was arrogant, handsome, talented, and very popular. He also liked to start altercations. This is actually our first big fissure between Harry and Sirius, and between Harry and his dad.

While James and Sirius are shown as going out of their way to pick fights with someone they don't like, Harry is such a passive and much more emotionally aware character that this causes significant pain to him. To find out that Sirius and James really were bullies is a big blow to Harry, who would never behave that way. He spent most of his childhood being bullied, after all, and I think that in that memory, Harry realized just how much more he identified with Snape as opposed to his own father and godfather and that really freaked him out.

Not to mention how uncomfortable it is to realize that these "bullies" were people Harry loved. Because once you have to come to terms with finding out someone you respect and love has done something cruel, it leaves your opinions on others shaky. This moment wasn't just about making Harry realize there was a "bad side" to Sirius and James, but also the first step towards helping him understand there may be a good side to people like Dudley Dursley or Draco Malfoy.

Sirius is quick to dismiss his past mistakes, he rarely owns up to them. This doesn't mean he's got no conscience, just that he--once again--does not deal with emotions easily. He clearly doesn't respond to his own guilt very well. So he brushes off his treatment of Snape and even his dismissal of his own family. In Sirius's mind, he and James are "allowed" to have matured out of their past bad behaviors and deserve to not be criticized for them...yet Sirius is unwilling to extend this grace to others. Everyone else around him is permanently stuck as how he first perceived them.

Sirius never finding out the full truth of Regulus's death is a huge disappointment to me, as I would have loved to have seen how he reconciled his inability to change his mind about his family with such an obvious act of heroism.

Ultimately book 5 shows that Sirius is, like a lot of us, very susceptible to "being a good person in theory". He very easily falls prey to cruel behaviors against "bad" people. He treats Kreacher the house elf terribly and uses his position as Kreacher's master to control and belittle him, using it almost as an opportunity for revenge against his family for what must have been a rough childhood. Yet he would never do that if Kreacher were nice to him.

It's a sort of complicated hypocrisy. Sirius treats people based on his personal feelings towards them, not based on what is right. Snape was "a little oddball up to his eyes in the Dark Arts", and that is how Sirius justifies his and James's behaviors. The reality is that Sirius wanted to be good, clearly saw himself as a hero, and was more than willing to die to protect the people he loved (he literally does die in this book to help Harry). But he still gave into the same kind of selfish cruelty he complained about growing up with.

It's not just that he was "an idiot at the age of fifteen", as he describes it. Most of us were. Anyone who claims they were always an enlightened progressive-minded justice fighter constantly standing up for the marginalized is just not remembering age twelve very well. The true mark of Sirius's character is that he can't handle the guilt. When the topic comes up, he hides from it, brushing people off quickly and making excuses. He is unable to openly and honestly confront his own mistakes.

Sirius himself told Harry "the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters" and those are probably the wisest words in the whole series. Yet...he was unable to actually live by those words.

Do as I say and not as I do, right? Lol.

Ultimately this character flaw was his downfall. The climax of book 5--and consequently Sirius's death, as well--comes as a direct result of Kreacher's betrayal, a betrayal he was only able to pull off because Sirius, in one of his many fits of anger towards the elf, ordered him "OUT."

He was definitely one of the good guys. I'm not here with any edgy take about how Sirius was somehow worse than the literal wizard nazis. But also...he wasn't perfect, either, and he did and said some very bad things.

A lot of people I think find comfort in that binary split, where characters are either perfect angels or the worst monsters ever. And the meta that get the most clicks are going to be the ones that take those crazy stances of "'[Character You Hate] is Actually a Perfect Angel and Here's Why" or vice versa.

I know that I personally used to write like that, as well. It's actually a touch painful to look back at some of my earliest writings and see just how badly they lacked any nuance...(but boy did I feel like I was making some serious Statements(tm) at the time lol). So it's safe to say my idea of Sirius has definitely grown with time. As have my interpretations of the rest of the characters, too. The more life experiences you have, the better context you can bring to the stories you read. The more diverse people you meet, the more you can start to understand. As your real world grows, so too do the fictional worlds you read about.

So that's my idea of Sirius Black in a very large nutshell. This is the first time I've ever spit all these thoughts out at one time and it was fun to do!

I've seen a lot of different interpretations of Sirius's character over the years and I hope I didn't come across as dissing on any of them. What the reader brings to the table is key. My ideas of why Sirius did the things he did is heavily influenced by my experiences with friends and members of my own family. And the specific areas where my stories jump off from canon into my own little world is equally born of my own life. They come from my memories and from my interests. What ideas I personally like to explore. So when I see someone else's fanfic be just radically off base from how I would have ever conceived of writing the character...I get it.

He's not a real person. So no matter how you see him you can't really be wrong. Each different Sirius Black that pops up on tumblr or Ao3 is just a little window into what's interesting or important to that author.

っ◕‿◕)っ ♥

Love, Ten

[bobbyfromdublin]

NEW GUITAR PICK NECESSARY

eli hewson x fem! reader

Here’s that Eli fic i mentioned the other day! it’s not all that but i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: cursing, girly pop is an asshole to eli lmao, not beta read and probably kinda shit

It all began on a hot July afternoon. Her friend Hannah had dragged her to a gig with her boyfriend Pete, because 'she didn't want to be alone while Pete talked to his friends'-she knew they'd end up making out as per usual, but still went regardless.

When they got to the bar it wasn't packed. It wasn't empty per se, just crowded enough to look full but not filled to the point of sacrificing personal space every time you moved. She waited for the band while listening to the playlist to hype people up, a Blondie song if she wasn't mistaken. She tapped on her glass while she payed only partial attention to Hannah who was rambling about some date idea Pete had come up with the last time they went out, more focused on the stage that was still lit up with normal white lights. They chatted until the lights turned off and an intro song began playing and the band came on. She clapped and cheered a polite amount while the band set up when she set her eyes on him.

The boy at the mic stand with shaggy curly hair that was getting slightly long, with eyes that reminded her of a fawn. He pushed his hair off his forehead and grinned as he began the show, introducing the band-Inhaler, she learned. They began their set with a hyped up song that got people to jump around and scream out the lyrics with him as he sang them. It was going to be a good show.

After Inhaler's gig she thought they were decent. scratch that-they were good, they were really good. she might have been biased, considering she spent the entire gig practically drooling over their singer, but that wasn't relevant. She wanted to meet him, she needed to meet him.

thankfully, Pete, her friends' Hannah's boyfriend was apparently friends with the bassist of the band, Robert. So she found herself backstage, chatting with all the guys except the guy she wanted (Elijah, she learned), so she needed to find a back up plan. After he had been ignoring and brushing her off for the better part of an hour she finally approached him.

"So...is it the guitar pick or are you just a shit guitarist?" she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest, making him finally look up from his phone with a raised brow and a mildly pissed off expression. "Excuse me?" he asked with a huff and a thick irish accent that matched her own, making her nearly flush.

Shit.

Why couldn't she have gone the normal route, like 'oh you guys were really good can i get your number by chance?' instead of full-on insulting the guy.

"Are you a shit guitarist or is it just the guitar pick?" she asked again, cringing internally at how mean she was.

He stood up, standing a couple centimetres taller than her that felt especially intimidating with how pissed off he seemed. "Well first of all," he clicked his tongue, "i'm a front man, i sing." he began.

"So is the guitar not plugged in?" She joked, earning another glare before he continued, "yes, it is plugged in, i do actually play." he scoffed. "And i'm not shite either, i'd know by now if i was." he rolled his eyes and stepped closer. "What's the point of this anyways? you acting insufferable i mean," he huffed and stepped back, pushing his hair out of his eyes again. "if you hated the show you should have left the moment you decided it."

She saw his disinterested expression and she felt slightly bad. Still, she had dug too deep of a hole for herself, so she had to finish what she started.

"No, no, i just wanted to give you some...friendly advice if you will." she smiled. "I feel like you're playing with the wrong pick, you know?" she sighed as if it was she most obvious thing ever.

"the wrong pick?" he asked, corking a brow, his expression turning amused. This girl could not have been serious.

"yeah, you know i just think that you should use like, .35mm you know? i think your playing would benefit from it," she nodded.

"A-A .35" he looked at her as if she was insane. "that's way too fucking thin." he rolled his eyes. He was beginning to regret ever entertaining the conversation they were having, let alone her. But still, something was pulling him in.

"No, no, trust me!" she said through a chuckle "you'd love it!" she laughed. "i'll even bring you one to the next gig for you to use," she added, hoping he'd get the message that she wasn't there only to fuck with him.

"I can assure you i wouldn't." he quipped back, a small grin forming on his face at her mention of coming to the next gig. "Oh? you'll be there?" he asked with a small smirk.

"of course, i need to see if you listen to my advice don't i?" she laughed and patted his shoulder before turning around and walking off, panicking the entire time.

________

Once again, she was at his gig a few weeks later with Hannah, this time without Pete. They'd gotten drinks and chatted, ended up meeting Rob's girlfriend Martha, who was frankly gorgeous beyond belief, and stayed with her throughout the show. Eventually the lights dimmed and once again, Inhaler took the stage. They began the set the same way as last time, when she noticed it.

she'd genuinely thought he'd forget about it. Either that, or ignore her so-called 'advice.'

So she was surprised to see him on stage with a paper thin guitar pick, trying his hardest to not fuck up while glaring at her every so often, making her laugh. He did pretty good actually. He lasted for about three songs before switching back to his usual pick and practically sigh in relief when he could play normally again, but not without sending another glare in her direction. The set was regardless, still fucking good. The vibes were great, the band was great and so was the crowd. They delivered song after song with the same amount of energy and passion, getting increasingly more sweaty and exhausted throughout it under the hot stage lights.

After the show was done the guys came to the bar all exhausted but buzzing with excitement and post-concert energy. The moment he spotted her he marched up to her and pushed the guitar pick into her chest, making it fall in her palm after she'd set out to catch it. "Take your stupid pick," he huffed and crossed his arms. "That was the worst fucking experience of my fucking life," he dramatised and once again pushed his curly hair out of his face.

She let out a laugh, pocketing the guitar pick and patting his arm. "you know, maybe it's not the pick," she began, “maybe you are a shit guitarist,” she teased.

"Zip it.” he gritted out and ordered himself a beer, sliding another one to her. She hummed contently as he handed her the bottle, thinking that maybe, maybe, something would come out of it.

[cosmiccrushes]

Not Part of the Crew

Law X f!OC || 4k chapter || 44k total

notes: I did it! I was starting to think I'd never get another chapter out but by gods I've done it! thanks so much for reading, from the bottom of my heart. Obviously I'm biased, but I just love Rue and Law so much and this fic has been such a source of joy.

CW: mentions of blood

also on ao3

CH 17: Law

Law hates this plan. He'd rather suffer eating a dozen loaves of bread than see it through. In fact, he’s already been suffering plenty of bread these days, he thinks with chagrin. He recalls the first morning Rue plucked a piece of toast from the plate he’d brought just for her, buttered it, and plopped it onto Law’s plate. She’d hesitated, her fingers hovering over his plate as her eyes bounced up to his.  

“You don’t like bread,” she stated. 

“It’s fine,” Trafalgar Law lied, picking up the bread and taking a big bite. He hadn’t even been sure why he’d done it. All he knew was that Rue had prepared that slice of cardboard for him and he wanted it. 

Anxiety twists his stomach into knots. Maybe he’d caved too quickly to Cerulean’s request. It really isn’t a bad plan. If he could be the one to serve as bait. Not her. Alone. And him, too far away to help if something were to go terribly wrong with her plans, with her assumptions. It doesn’t matter how much Rue insists she knows the Fang Pirates movements on the island. There are far too many unknown variables for Trafalgar Law’s mind to ever be at ease. Namely, that Rue has never actually been to this island she insists on so casually strolling onto. 

“It won’t be casual, Law, it will be calculated,” she’d huffed at him when he’d pointed this out. 

But after hearing that admission, about fighting him because she could, fall from her lips, he’d understood well the unspoken undercurrent to her words. She felt safe enough with him to do this- to push back, to disagree, to voice her own opinions. His resolve had crumbled. He wouldn’t control her, he wouldn’t force her. It would be so much easier if Rue’s idea wasn’t a solid one, or if Law couldn’t relate to the desire to throw yourself into harm’s way to keep everyone else out of it. Or if Law didn’t feel a festering urge to keep her within his eyesight at all times. He felt vaguely ridiculous for the way his gaze followed her at dinners, waiting for her to rise and gift them all with her song. 

He never should’ve hugged her. If being interested in the mystery she’d presented when she first sprung out of his cargo hold had been a mistake… this, touching her, was a catastrophe. Her soft warmth pressed into him had set off alarms of awareness he hadn’t even known existed. Now, he couldn’t silence their blare. He’d felt the heat radiating from her with a dawning realization that he hadn’t known how cold he was before. 

Even now, as Rue leans over his shoulder to point to a spot on the map spread across his desk, his blood thrums at her closeness. He has to remind himself to pay attention to what she’s saying. 

“I’m telling you, there won’t be more than a handful of Fang Pirates here.” Rue taps the map for emphasis. “It’s the perfect ambush site.” 

“And how do you plan on keeping the handful of pirates who are there from seeing you and killing you on the spot?” Law would love to find a hole in her scheming big enough for him to squeeze into and rip the whole thing apart. 

Rue pouts her lips, scattering the fragile threads of Law’s concentration. He keeps his eyes fixed on the map, attempting to tie his focus back together. “Have you not been listening, Law?” His heart squeezes every time she says his name steeped in that intoxicating brew of familiarity. He hopes she never stops saying it like that. He never wants it replaced by a more bitter draft. Rue continues, “I’ve insulted him. Malax Fangle will want me alive to inflict his punishment.” Law’s nails dig into the skin of his palms, he clenches his hand so tight atop the desk. Rue doesn’t notice. “Besides, there’s no chance the Fang Pirates will see me, thanks to you,” she says, removing her finger from the map to tap it against his nose. Her head cranes to the side to look at him and she’s so close her breath tickles his skin. 

He turns his head to face her. Only inches apart, he can see the waves of thought and emotion eddying around her stormy eyes, not that he knows what any of it means. That gaze trails down to his mouth before Rue clears her throat and straightens back up. He desperately wants to ask her if she feels this too. Like a cold front moving in, the tension building as the sky collides against itself, ready to break open. Trafalgar Law has always liked thunderstorms. 

“Look,” Rue implores. “I know you think my plan is unreliable, but it will work. Please, trust me.” 

Law drops his head into his hands, sighing heavily. He knows she’s frustrated with him. She’s explained her plan to him so many times in the days since she first brought it up. He’s asked the same questions repeatedly, illogically, inefficiently. Hells, he’s frustrated with himself.

Law pushes back from his chair, standing to face Rue. “I do trust you, Rue.” It’s important that she understands that. “And it is a good plan. I just-” His fingers itch to reach out and brush her cheek. He smothers the impulse. “I just worry that if something goes wrong, I won’t be able to help quickly enough.” 

Law can practically hear the gears whirling in her mind. “Don’t worry. You’ll get your shot at Fangle, regardless of what happens to me.” She makes to walk away, but Law can’t leave it like this. He snags her wrist. A small gasp escapes her as his fingers wrap around her skin. 

He wants to tug her back against him, beg her to stop seeing herself as a pawn in some game he’s playing. But what could he ask her to see herself as instead? What would be the truth? What would she believe? So, he says, “I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

She stares at him silently for a beat, takes the tiniest step back into his space. What if Law twined his fingers through hers? Would she rake nails down his face as she clawed back the intimacy? “That’s not the deal, Trafalgar Law. Whatever happens to me is of no concern to you.” Another step into him. “Just make sure the Fang Pirates die. Then we both get what we want, right?”

Law knows her well enough to hear the provocation in her tone. But before he can decide what to do with it, a knock at his office door has them springing apart. Law drops her wrist like he’s been caught stealing treasures that aren’t his to claim. They both turn towards the door as Bepo enters. 

Bepo’s eyes jump anxiously between the two of them, as though he can sense the storm brewing. “Oh dear, I’m sorry, so sorry to interrupt. We just want to go over the plotted course now, before we get closer.” Bepo stammers a few more apologies before seeing himself out. 

Law turns back to Rue, intending to finish their conversation, only to discover she’s halfway across the room already, following Bepo out the door. Law groans under his breath before going after her. 

***

Cerulean Blake’s plan goes like this. The Polar Tang will surface in a rocky cove along the island’s coast. A place completely inaccessible for a ship to make port- thus, in less danger of being monitored by Fang Pirates. Law will use his Ope Ope no Mi powers to send Rue up the steep cliff face to make her camp. There she will wait for Malax Fangle to come for her, while the Heart Pirates lie in wait near the island’s main- and only- port for his arrival. If all goes according to plan, the final stand will take place in the open waters, far from Rue’s location. But if anything deviates from this plan…Law will be on the other side of the island, miles away from Rue. This sets his teeth on edge. But as Rue impatiently explained, it has to be her that goes. Fangle will track her using his devil fruit abilities, and they can’t risk him tracking her to anywhere near the Heart Pirates, or their advantage of surprise will be squandered. And Rue was adamant that they not catch any civilians in the crossfire. So much so that she’d changed her mind about allowing the Heart Pirates to do a preliminary sweep of the island. 

“It’s too risky,” she argued with him. “If you are seen by the Fang Pirates, there’s absolutely no way to guarantee the islanders safety.” 

“And what about your safety?” Law bit out. “What if things have changed and the whole island is crawling with pirates now?”

Rue just crossed her arms and shook her head. “I haven’t been gone that long. It’ll be the same.” She turned away from him then and Law knew he’d lost the argument. It seemed like he was always losing arguments with Cerulean Blake. Most disconcerting, he didn’t mind giving her that ground. She could have miles of it, if she wanted. It licked a blaze of fire up his spine to see her so confident, so bold. He wanted to stoke that flame. 

So here they are, en route to the cove where Rue would soon ascend to the island. 

Bepo is showing Rue the charted course, confirming their tactical locations. “How long until we arrive?” Rue asks. 

“Around three hours still,” Bepo replies. 

Watching her leave is going to feel like ripping out a stitch from a wound that hasn’t healed all the way. Because that’s what her presence has been like to Trafalgar Law. Surgical tape holding closed a gaping wound, gauze staunching the flow of his bleeding misery and loneliness. He’d understood that much when he pulled her to him and whispered that she wasn’t alone. He’d been telling himself just as much as he’d been telling her. 

She isn’t leaving yet, though. Law brushes his fingertips against her elbow, drawing her away from the ship’s consoles. “Would you like to pick out a book to take with you?”

She nods, her answering smile soft. 

There’s a heaviness to the atmosphere as they step into Law’s office. This won’t be the last time, Law promises himself as Rue begins examining the bookshelves. But the oppressive silence between them seems to argue with him that this is her final checkout, a bookshop seeing to its last customer of the day. 

Rue hums in thought. “What’s your favorite?” Her eyes dart to his closed bedroom door, a space she hasn’t entered since he showed her his collected childhood books. She seems to recall this. “You know, your favorite that isn’t a prized family heirloom.”  

Law’s heart stutters at the word ‘family.’ He’s certain he didn’t frame his relationship with Corazon in that context. Law extracts a book off a shelf, passing it to her. She reads the title, scrunching her nose in distaste. Law chuckles. “What?” 

“Your favorite is about a doctor by day who-” She flips through pages “Captures criminals by night.” 

“You’re going to see spoilers that way,” Law says with exasperation, trying to snatch the book back out of her hands. 

Rue evades him, giggling. “Sometimes it’s better that way.” 

“How?” Law asks skeptically. What’s the point of reading a mystery if you know how it ends?

Rue shrugs. “Sometimes it’s nice to know what’s going to happen. To not be caught by surprise.” 

“Ah. I can see the appeal.” Law nods to himself, then jerks his head towards his bedroom. “Come here.” It’s a credit to how things have evolved between them that she follows without a fight. He leads them to the front of his dresser again, books lined up on top. He eases one out of the middle, handing it to her. 

Rue’s brows furrow. “What’s this? 

“That’s my second favorite.” He taps the first book Corazon ever read to him, drawing her attention to it. “Since you’ve already read my favorite.” It feels like so long ago and not nearly long enough that Law was pressing that book into her hands, sharing a secret he relinquished for no one. 

“Oh no, Law. I can’t take this.” She tries to shove it back to him.

“Yes, you can,” he insists. 

She shakes her head vigorously. “No. It’s… special.” 

“You’re-” Special catches just before it can flee his tongue. Law clears his throat. “You’re welcome to it, really.” 

She sits on his bed abruptly, snapping the book open to the first page. “I’ll just read it now.” 

A booming laugh bursts out of Law.

Rue scowls up at him. “What’s so funny?” 

“It’s just very… you.” At her quizzical look, he clarifies. “So determined, so stubborn.” 

Rue rolls her eyes. “Ha ha.” In the end, she begins reading in earnest, perched on the edge of his bed. 

Law eases down beside her, relaxing when she doesn’t pull away. The minutes pass in silence. Law grabs his pillows, propping them against the wall behind them. “You can sit back, if you’d like.” He scoots himself to sit against the wall before she responds, tossing his hat onto the bed next to him. He runs a nervous hand through his hair, bracing for Rue’s rebuff. This is too intimate, too vulnerable. She throws a quick glance over her shoulder at him before shuffling back to fill the space beside him. Law releases a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. 

To her credit, she makes a decent dent in the book. Law reading along over her shoulder. But he knows the moment sleep pulls her under because her head lolls against him, her breath gliding over his arm. Law shifts, pulling away to nestle her back against the pillow. But when he lifts his arm, she snuggles against his chest. He fears the hammering of his heart will wake her up. Law settles his arm gingerly around her, afraid to shatter this moment that feels like delicate gift-wrapped glass. 

But she sleeps soundly, pressed against his heart. 

***

It’s with great reluctance that Law rouses Cerulean from sleep later. He jostles her with the arm wrapped around her, whispering “Rue, it’s time.” 

She blinks rapidly, blurry eyes focusing up at him, her hair mussed against his chest, a blush spreading across her cheeks when she realizes where she’s been napping. She sits upright in a flash. 

“I- I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she stammers. “I’m sorry.” She shifts self-consciously, hands smoothing down her unruly hair. 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” Law adds. His pulse jumps with surprise when Rue leans into him, his gaze racing down to her lips. But she doesn’t kiss him like he’d foolishly hoped. 

She reaches around him, picking up his hat. She makes a show of dusting it off before placing it on his head. “Come on, Captain. We’ve got work to do.” 

Law doesn’t want to work. For once, he just wants to rest. To curl up here with Cerulean and books. When she leaves the room, Law follows her, each step heavy with the weight of what comes next. 

Rue hefts the backpack Penguin prepared for her against her shoulders. Shachi presses a honey biscuit into Rue’s palm without a word. Tears shining in his eyes, Bepo hands her the rolled map he’d drawn up to illustrate the island and their locations in more detail. Rue thanks each of them with a soft smile. As Law watches his crew say goodbye to her, he’s struck by how easily, how seamlessly Rue could belong here, if she wanted. Even Ikkaku offers a firm handshake and Rue beams. Maybe Law had no business asking anyone to belong with him, when he knew well where he was going, but he couldn’t fight the visions swirling through his head of music-filled dinners and half-read books piled across his coffee table. He blinks back to the present with Rue standing in front of him. 

“I’m ready,” she says, gripping the straps of her backpack until her fingers lose color. She’s scared, more scared than she’s let on. Law wishes he could loosen those clenched knuckles and rub the promise that things would be okay into her skin, like a medicinal balm against a chronic ache.   

Law nods to Bepo, a silent command to surface the submarine. Just long enough for Law and Cerulean to climb to the deck and send her forth. When Bepo issues the all clear, they climb the stairs. Rue inhales a long, deep breath of fresh air. Her eyes close and her head tips back. Law watches her curls dance in the wind. This time, when his fingers ache to move, he lets them- reaching up to tuck a wayward strand behind her ear. She goes still beside him and Law fears he’s pushed too far. 

But she turns to face him, swiping away a curl that snagged against her lips in the breeze. “Thank you for helping me, Trafalgar Law.” It sounds just like a goodbye. “I won’t pretend to really understand why you’re doing this. Whether it’s because I remind you of some friend you lost or because you want what Fangle has. Right now I don’t care. I just want him dead.” Law opens his mouth to clarify but she plows on. “Whatever happens next, once this is done, the conditions of our alliance are met. If you don’t come back for me, I’ll understand. But if I could trouble you to leave word in the village that it’s done, I’d appreciate it. I’ll find it eventually.”

Not come back for her? What the hells was that supposed to mean? “Rue, I-”

She cuts him off, with a hand extended towards him. He wraps his fingers around hers and she shakes firmly twice before dropping it. “Pleasure doing business with you.” A sharp nod. “Okay, send me.” 

There’s a lump in his throat that he works to speak around. He wants to tell her that she’s wrong. This isn’t just an alliance for him to gain power from. That of course he will come back to get her when this is over. That he’ll probably beg her like a fool to stay, to believe him. 

But all that comes out is, “Room.” 

***

Rue waves from the cliff’s edge to signal she made it before turning and strolling deeper into the island, out of sight. Law squeezes the stone in his hand that used to sit in the place Rue just disappeared to. He pockets it, returning below deck to his crew. 

The Polar Tang hides below the waters off the island’s primary docks. Bepo conducts strict surveillance of the surrounding area for any signs of the Fang Pirates advancing ship. Law regrets not conducting a preliminary scouting of the island before they sent Rue onto it, but she’d been against the idea. He recalls again the toss of her hair, the folding of her arms as she faced him down. He smiles at her stubbornness. 

“Is something funny, Captain?” Penguin asks, giving Law a peculiar look. 

“No,” Law responds shortly. He hopes Rue is right about this. She’d thought scouting beforehand was unnecessary. Seeing the island for himself, Law couldn’t say he disagreed. This island, despite being a source of coconut trade for the area, is small and easily defensible with its single port. A quick scan of that port now revealed only a single smaller vessel bearing the Fang Pirates flag, nothing that wasn’t expected. The presence of outsiders would not go unnoticed, Rue insisted. Law is whisked away in the memory of their second conversation about this. When his resolve had wavered and he’d wanted to push just a bit, if it might mean she stayed safe and whole. 

“And you are exceedingly identifiable,” Rue said playfully as she snatched his hat off his desk and pulled it down over her ears. It suited her as easily as everything else of his had- his knives in her hands, his books across her lap. “Though perhaps you’d be less noticeable without the hat,” Rue teased. 

“I like the hat,” Law scowled. 

Rue hummed thoughtfully, brushing her fingers over the hat’s soft fabric. Law was suddenly jealous of a hat- perhaps he would rethink how much he liked it. Then Rue said with a dazzling smile, “I like it too.” She plopped back down on the couch to continue pouring over the maps fanning out over the coffee table, his hat snug on her head. Maybe she never planned to give it back. Maybe Law didn’t care. Or maybe she would, and then she’d leave, and Law would have one more haunting image to remember her by. 

The muffled sound of what must be a massive explosion wrenches Law out of his thoughts. He’d ordered the Polar Tang near enough the surface to not be seen but close enough that they could ascend rapidly if needed.

Bepo twists the periscope back towards the island. “Oh no, oh my!”

“What is it?” Law barks. 

“Oh this is awful!” Bepo frets. “It seems there’s been an explosion in the village. There’s a giant plume of smoke.” 

Law grips the sword on his shoulder tightly, addressing Penguin at the sonar. “Any sign of approaching ships?” 

Penguin shakes his head. “Nothing. Nothing at all.” 

Shachi grunts. “Something isn’t right.” 

Law couldn't agree more. “Bring us up,” he commands. His thoughts are of Cerulean, caught in a fire, ambushed by the very pirates he’s supposed to be protecting her from. 

The entire crew makes their way to the deck, gaping in silence at the towers of black smoke rising from the village’s center. They can see the licks of fiery destruction even from here. The docks are deserted as figures dart towards the village to provide help for whatever disaster has struck. Is this a coincidence? It’s nowhere near Rue on the other side of the island. But… Why would a quiet, small farming village erupt into flames today of all days?

Law directs his crew into action. Some would go ashore here to ascertain whether Rue was amongst the villagers. Law didn’t think she would be, she’d have no reason to head into the town, but better to be sure. Law sets sail back to the cove. Back to Rue. He couldn’t explain the dread descending upon him, like the visceral response to the opening notes of a funeral dirge. 

Law knows it the moment his feet touch the rocky ground. Like her absence has caused the barometric pressure to drop, an ache spreading through his bones. He follows the path she took into the trees. Finds her camp, not even fully made. The canvas for a tent heaped on the ground, dropped in mid-setup. A jagged slash through her backpack, spilling its contents across the forest floor. Did she use it as a shield against her attackers? Blood splashed on the grass. Is it hers? Law feels numb. The crushing cold of a submarine sunk miles into the sea’s depths. Law thinks he might freeze the metal of the knife he picks up, turning it over in his stiff fingers to examine the hilt. It’s one of his, one he gave to her. Blood glistens on the blade.

A vicious pride surges through him. She fought. They might have taken her, but she fought. 

When his transponder snail sounds, he listens mutely as Penguin tells him Rue isn’t in the village, that they’re just losing sight of a ship quickly disappearing on the horizon. 

“Cerulean,” Law whispers against the wind, her name whisked away from him. He stares at the blood beginning to dry on the blade. They were waiting for her, somehow they knew she’d be coming. The explosion in town as a diversion… they must have known she was setting up an ambush for them. 

Trafalgar Law didn’t much care how they knew these things. Because there was one thing they didn’t know yet. When you cross the Surgeon of Death, you flatline. 

Law heads back to the rocky cliff face. “I’m coming, Rue.” 

[icedteaandoldlace]

1, 7 and 12 pleaaaaase for the choose violence ask :))

Choosing more violence today than usual because the ask list calls for it. You've all been warned. 😅

1. The character everyone gets wrong.

Patty Spivot. I'm a Westallen fan till my dying day, but there are some catty Westallen fans who cannot let that thing with Mark Mardon go, and insist that she is the embodiment of everything wrong with real-life law enforcement, solely for wanting to do the thing that 99% of the fandom is frustrated with Barry for not doing, which is killing the person who killed one of her parents. She didn't even go through with killing him, she did things by the book in the end. Plus it was one guy and it was personal, it's not like she was out here power tripping just for the heck of it. Also, I'm not 100% certain how the Spallen shippers characterize her, because I don't really hang out in the Spallen side of the fandom, but I feel like people tend to forget that she's a nerd and make her out to be some cool it-girl instead. Patty is not a cool girl. She is a very very pretty nerd girl. I mean that in the best kind of way.

Caitlin is also horribly mischaracterized (in different ways) by both the Snowbarry fandom and the diehard Westallen fans. The only people who are right about Caitlin are the people who like both her and Iris. Everyone else is too biased to think clearly.

And of course Iris is the most mischaracterized, but everyone already knows how and why people get her wrong. And people getting her wrong is the reason why they get the other two wrong, and everyone is doing it on purpose, and it's a mess, and it's super annoying, and if everyone could just be NORMAL about these girls, things would be swell! But as it is, people are racist and petty and vindictive, so things are ridiculous.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

So I hate to say it, because I do actually like this character very much when she's onscreen in front of me, but my word, the fandom made me so sick of Cynthia. (She would also be a good answer for that first question, because she's so mischaracterized as someone way more straight-laced than she actually is, but in her case it seems like a genuine case of Wow People Really Don't Pay Attention, Do They?) Is it weird that I hate fanon Cynthia because fanon Cynthia is a better girlfriend and a better person in general than canon Cynthia is? (yet still working for the collectors??) Because that's where I'm at. Tbh I blame the hiatus between seasons 3 and 4, 'cause I feel like headcanons and fanfiction about Cisco dealing with losing both his best friends by leaning on his girlfriend gave people expectations for what their relationship was gonna be like, and then they just...didn't register when it didn't turn out like that. Like, at all. Now, I enjoyed her time on the show for what it was, I still enjoy rewatching episodes that she's in, and would hardly be bothered to mention any of the issues I have with her if people would just see her for how she is. But for whatever reason, she's put on this pedestal and viewed as the person Cisco should have ended up with, even though every storyline they have together is loaded with examples for why their relationship would never work out in the long run. Cynthia was not the love of Cisco's life, she was something he needed to get out of his system. He wouldn't let himself date Golden Glider 'cause she was a criminal, but Cynthia being technically "team good" because she's in law enforcement gave him the inch he needed to pursue a relationship with the kind of bad girl he thought he wanted to date. But she turned out to be his Morgan Harris (which will mean nothing to anyone who hasn't watched the '80s Anne of Green Gables miniseries, but whatever), because he finally got what he wanted, only to realize that what he really wants is something else. So it's frustrating to me when people take a girl who clearly didn't want the same kind of relationship that Cisco wanted, and whose personal values clearly didn't align with his, and warp her to be some Iris-level, supportive-girlboss-wife material, who's totally never made an unethical decision in her life and works for a good upstanding organization committed to Justice™️—and insist that the writers were wrong to break her and Cisco up, because everything was ~Fine~ (insert dog in house on fire meme), when clearly breaking them up was what was best for Cisco. Because he was floundering trying to make things work with her, and they just didn't. They could never be fully happy together because either one or both of them would have to change their entire personality to make it work—and neither of them was willing to ask the other to do that. They're star-crossed. They have always been star-crossed. It just took them a while to accept it. And it's taking the fandom for-freaking-ever.

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

Obviously I stay raving about why everyone should love Kamilla. I'm sure you all know the spiel by now.

She's sweet, she's smart, she has style, she can keep her head in a crisis, she's gentle but knows how to tell someone off when she needs to, she has no superpowers or combat training of any kind, and yet willingly joins in several dangerous missions because she cares a lot about helping people, and protecting the people she loves. Despite being seriously underutilized, she actually has much more development than people realize, but folks insist on saying she "doesn't have enough personality to be interesting/to take from canon and build off of for fanfiction" JUST BECAUSE SHE'S NICE AND SOFT-SPOKEN AND GIRLY, AND PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT TF TO DO WITH A NICE GIRL CHARACTER WHO DOESN'T ALSO PUNCH STUFF. Not that she's not badass when she needs to be, but that is entirely beside the point! Now I understand that some people tapped out of the show early and didn't get to know her. But the way people who lasted 7 whole seasons just write her off as flat and boring drives me up the WALL. She's a photographer! She's a bartender! She reads comic books! She likes Star Wars and Fantastic Four! She cooks! She organized an art show! She subbed in for the rest of Team Flash when they were unavailable! She knows how to operate a satellite! Because she's watched Cisco and Caitlin do it, so clearly she's got mad observational and fast learner skills! She's maybe, possibly vegan, but also possibly not? She has at least one sister, and she made friends with all of Team Flash very fast, and it's no wonder, because she's shown to be thoughtful and a good listener several times! There are SO MANY little details about her slipped into canon that you can easily take and run with and develop further in fun ways, and that's part of why she's one of my favorite characters to write for! Also, HELLO, the supportive, attentive girlfriend everyone projects Cynthia to be? Kamilla actually IS! Literally WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE????

[ilikekidsshows]

About the Evolution Anon, another thing that makes Marinette trusting Cat Noir alot weaker in hindsight is that one episode earlier she just messed up using the Rabbit Miraculous

No one can tell me her plan was good, it wasn't, but luckily she was influenced by Risk to soften the blow on that. Cause she didn't use the Rabbit well at all. She only saw it as a travel device, instead of treating time with the respect it needs.

She didn't need the dog, she just needed to watch through time to find out where the object is.

She kept thinking that SHE decides when the kid was akumatized and when the other people were affected, and not that she has to check that. If she actually used the Rabbit well, she would have paid attention to when the akumatization took place (at sun set) and that therefore her plan of getting Adrien as the only unaffected person isn't possible and the person beside her can't be Adrien.

It's insane that people argue that Marinette did nothing wrong as if she can't be expected to pay attention to TIME while using time travelling. Yes, that was absolutely her JOB to pay attention to. She rewinds time to when the akumatization took place but is faultless for not paying attention to WHEN she just rewind time? Is time a toy with no meaning for her defenders, or what?

She could have literally just defeated the akuma right then and there when the kid was akumatized, but didn't because getting Adrien back to Paris with her was more important than anything else. There should have been no problem, right? According to her, the kid was akumatized some mere hours ago at most and all it would have changed is that the city wouldn't be on fire and destroyed now. Her job is to save Paris and prevent suffering and chaos. She didn't even try to do that despite having been perfectly fine with fucking with time in Ephemeral.

Though, of course this would have taken away her "justified" reason for prioritising getting Adrien back and making him her new favorite partner. She "couldn't" think of using time travelling in a way that makes sense because doing so would have revealed that Flairmidable shouldn't be here.

I'm glad that Marinette at least wasn't in her right mind in Strike Back, but that doesn't change that her plan was awful and utilized time completely wrong because her real priority was not wanting Adrien to leave for some weeks or months.

The one thing season 5 did right was holding Marinette accountable for letting herself be fooled by Felix through her emotions.

She HAD plenty of chances to realize that Adrien couldn't be without a Risk mark and it was her JOB as guardian and temp holder of the Rabbit to not treat the Rabbit like the Horse of Time. Not to mention that Marinette turned one hell of a blind eye to 'Adrien' then siding with her and peer pressuring and bullying Cat Noir into silence in front of the whole team by forcing him to shake hands and be blamed AGAIN for having emotions Marinette refused to respect bc he didn't feel what she decided he should be feeling.

Marinette fell in love with Adrien because he's NOT a bully. Because he would be kind and fair enough to NOT do what Flairmidable did to Cat Noir to back up Ladybug's abuse of power and bullying a teammate into submission by making them out to be an irrational crybaby who needs to be put in place by her greatness.

You can't fucking tell me that Marinette cannot be asked to remember that she fell in love with Adrien for NOT being a bully. How devoid of morality and standards can a biases be that Marinette can't even be expected to do THAT much.

That's the one thing I truly like in season 5, that they appropriately blamed Marinette for loosing the Miraculous because of how much she prioritized getting to keep Adrien and blaming Cat Noir for HER shit treatment of him.

She loves Adrien for not being a bully, but the second she wanted him to back her up in bullying Cat Noir in front of the team into submission, she apparently can't be asked anymore to remember what she loves the love of her life for.

The disaster of the season 4 finale is entirely HER fault and I'm fucking happy that season 5 at least demanded of her to improve in that way. By the time of Emotion she finally got over her bully kink that started with her falling in love with Catwalker for shitting on Cat Noir, and immediately recognised Felix pretending to be Adrien when he insulted the rich kids as "monsters" for her sake. In the s4 finale, she would have gladly turned a blind eye to that as long as the bullying is done for her sake. But that's the ONE thing the story actually held her accountable for so she grew from it

And all I see is people groaning and yelling about how flawless Marinette was in the s4 finale. She wasn't, she did everything wrong, and the right consequences actually happened for once.

---

Anon clarified that this ask was inspired by a Discord group conversation where the Marinette bias was very obvious and not the recent tumblr discourse around the ‘Strikeback’ episode. I actually haven't seen said discourse either, so what I write here should not be taken as my two cents either.

The Rabbit Miraculous has been used for keeping watch over the timestream since its introduction, so Marinette failing to utilize the Miraculous for its true purpose of finding out the inciting incident for something is extra stupid of her. This is supposed to be the greatest Ladybug ever who understands all the Miraculous better than anyone else and that's why she can find the perfect holders for each of them? Press X to doubt.

And, like, even when Marinette accepts responsibility for losing all the Miraculous, I can't help but notice how she instantly gets celebrated and made to feel good for failing. Because, once again, her realization that she did something wrong leads her into a spiralling state of mental crisis where she cries about how she’s lost everything and messes everything up, and then instantly gets told by Cat Noir she’s the greatest Ladybug ever while all of Paris chants her name in support. And then she lets Cat Noir use the Rabbit Miraculous once before going right back to keeping things from him and lying to him. What did she exactly accept accountability for? How did she change her behavior because of that? She decided that the problem was her being in love with Adrien, instead of anything she did, so she makes herself miserable for the first half of season five, accomplishing nothing but a manipulative attempt to make us feel sorry for her some more before getting everything she ever wanted and never actually having to change her behavior.

Marinette failing or doing the wrong thing is never really about her being in the wrong and needing to make up for it. It’s always about how bad these mistakes make her feel. Her feeling bad is not a consequence, no matter how much her manipulative pity parties make her stans cry about how she's supposedly being punished when no one as much as says a word against her, instead showering her with unearned praise. I’m just tired of being expected to always put her feelings first instead of the people she hurts, who put their hurt aside to cater to hers, when she gets warned beforehand how wrong things can go while she refuses to listen until things blow in her face again.

“She wasn’t in her right mind,” isn’t the defense her stans think it is, because the power of Risk is to make you take risks, Marinette calling an Akuma a “little problem” in comparison to getting Adrien back is not her becoming unable to see the risk, it’s just her normal attitude of her Love Quest being more important than the literal supervillain fights that go on in the show. She places her Adrien schemes over everything else anyone has going on all the time. Marinette having garbage priorities didn’t appear because Risk hit her, Risk just made her more careless with her normally bad priorities.

I recognize that the writers still intended it to be an excuse, and that’s why the stans take and run with it as one, because the writers love to put those in when Marinette does something completely messed up and in character to make her seem less responsible for her own actions. But, like, it’s just as bad an excuse as the other attempts. Oh, she tries to force Adrien into being the solution to the current problem and it fails (just like in ‘Desperada’)? She was under an Akuma’s influence! Oh, she gaslights Adrien about his dad? She’s really stressed out and the time traveler told her it was just as valid a choice as being honest! Oh, she [insert ‘Sublimation’ spoilers]? Tomoe sabotaged them beforehand!

Frankly, I’m still of the mind that Marinette didn’t get enough consequences for the season four finale. Having a mental crisis is just Marinette’s reaction to failing, it’s not consequences for her actions. Like, let’s think about this. What should the logical consequences be for losing almost all the Miraculous to the main villain in a single day? What’s a reasonable way for normal people to react when their hero fails them in such a way? Some loss of faith, perhaps? It’s not like Miraculous would be the first superhero story where the public opinion gets turned against the hero and they have to find a way to turn things back around and prove themselves trustworthy again. That could have actually been a good story and a real way to shake up the status quo for season 5. Instead, the only time the heroes face any opposition it’s just Chloé again. The way I see it, Marinette actually got no real consequences, instead getting coddled and celebrated for losing to the villain.

But, yeah, Marinette stans have no reason to whine about Strikeback, because, like, Marinette wasn't punished in any way. If anything, she got rewarded for her massive failure.

[kaiarablackfire]

I thought I was free of my shit ass Crow, but no. They're back. Turns out, starting up a mage run isn't the answer to freeing my brain, cause after playing rogue for so long, mage kinda feels bad. I'm not biased, your biased. So here, more Quinn. And because I have 0 chill, we're getting sad boi hours this time. (Below the cut for spoilers.)

After the Antaam incident, Quinn knew just how bad things were not by being all but kicked out of Antiva, but by the silent simmering too quiet rage from Viago. He didn’t yell, or glower or call them names. He was stern, and quiet as he told them they were to leave, to go with Varric on his fool’s mission. And the thing that hurt Quinn the most, more than Viago’s anger, more than the hurt and worry they could see in his eyes that they knew he would never voice, was being denied their name. Rook worked well as an alias, and they were grateful to Varric for the nickname, but it still stung every time they heard it in place of the name their brother had given them, knowing that he had also taken it away. (Of course Viago wasn't actually taking their name from them. They were to hide. To be safe. Not that Quinn took it that way. Nor would it have made the hurt any less.)

No one among the Veilguard knew just how the name Rook added to the salt in Quinn’s heart every time they spoke it, the Crow masking it easier and easier as they heard the name more and more. Only Spite, always far too aware, knew something wasn’t quite right with ‘Rook’. Though Quinn hid their pain well enough that not even the demon could really understand. Shame? Regret? Spite didn’t know, only that it was wrong. Early on, Lucanis ignored the demon’s incoherent ranting, but later, once they came to an understanding, Lucanis started paying more attention and agreed that something about the nickname didn’t sit quite right with the other Crow. But without time to really dig in, and with Quinn deflecting anything approaching their own personal problems, he would have to wait to needle the group’s leader on their twitch at the name.

It wasn’t until after taking down Ivenci, when Viago looked Quinn in the eye and told them. “You’re a damn fine Crow, Quinn.” Giving them their name back. The stiffness of their muscles, the clench of their jaw, the signs that they were holding back something. Spite’s voice in Lucanis’ ear only confirmed his suspicions. “Belonging and pride. Truth and relief. A shame forgiven, a loss reclaimed. Not a Rook, never a Rook.”

Quinn held themselves in. They just got their name back, they weren't about to give Viago a reason to take it again by showing the depth of the vulnerability that the name alone ripped open in their heart, nor the twist of the figurative knife that was the accompanying complement, one without a snide aside attached. Viago was proud of them, pure and simple. It wasn’t until they were back at the Lighthouse, in their room alone, that they let the emotion out.

On the lounge that they used for a bed, Quinn sobbed into the stupid cape they wore out on missions, the one that matched Viago’s, the one that they insisted they wore only to annoy their Talon, the one that they would never admit was the only thing holding them together after returning home following a year in exile. Their brother’s cape that they were punished harshly for clinging to when they were a kid. Once again Quinn was clinging to the familiar fabric, though no stinging pain accompanied their grip. They still maintained the presence of mind to be silent in their tears, just huddled on the stupid couch, silently sobbing into the cape like it was a blanket.

It was all too much to force back down when they heard the door open behind them. So they did the only thing they could think of, they emulated their brother, affecting an annoyed tone at being disturbed and without turning around spat out a single word. “What.” The hesitation in the steps they recognized as Lucanis’ ripped at their heart anew and they nearly broke again, but the image of Viago’s disapproving stare in their mind held them still.

And while Lucanis nearly turned and left, Spite would not allow it. “They hurt. Fix them.” The demon was forceful and demanding and it was the clear concern in his demands that kept Lucanis moving forward. “Rook…” The tensing of Quinn’s shoulders and the angry growl from Spite made him reconsider. His voice was quiet, hesitant as he tried again, using the name he heard Viago use, the one that clearly affected them so strongly. “Quinn?” The choked sob that was his only response had Lucanis’ steps hurried as he approached the couch.

The sight of their leader, always ready with a joke, or a kind word, who always knew what to say or do, was always so strong, curled up on the couch, eyes red from their tears, clinging to their cape (Viago’s cape) like a lifeline, looking so small and vulnerable… Lucanis felt his heart break. As Quinn realized what he must see and tried to pull themself together, the desperate need to hide that weakness lest it be turned on them, Lucanis felt the low simmer of rage, though it was quickly stamped out, knowing full well the lessons that would have lead to the instinct. And Spite was in his ear, demanding they “Fix. Them.” and he knew, Maker did he know, how delicate this situation was.

So, it was with all the care of someone approaching a cornered animal, that he slowly sat on the couch near Quinn, and simply held out a hand. And Quinn, poor kind Quinn, who clearly had not had their heart truly hardened by the training of the Crows, looked in the eyes of the man their brother had warned them away from all those years ago, the man they had, despite their best efforts, fallen in love with, and all that training, all those fears and suspicions and expectations melted away. The cape was forgotten in favour of burying their face in Lucanis’ chest, his form now muffling the pained sobs ripping their way from Quinn’s throat. And while they’d clearly have to talk about this later, for now, Lucanis simply wrapped his arms around Quinn and let them cry.

[lixenn]

*bangs open your door* Ask game time 💚

●2 Who is your fave side / minor character you've made?

●3 Who is your fave villain / antagonist OC you've made?

●24 If your OCs were the 'seven deadly sins', which would they be?

Welcome Fae!! Come in! Always nice to have you 💜💜 Thanks so much for sending some questions 🫂

2 Who is your fave side / minor character you've made? Ohh tricky question! *consults the spreadsheet* So, I kinda have a lot of minor characters who I'm fond of so picking a fav is a bit difficult but I have a soft spot for Sam. She's just trying her best okay 🥹🥹 A small bean, I just want to pat her on the head and tell her she's doing a good job lmaoo. Otherwise honorary mention to Hikari who I really don't talk much about except for dms but I love them to bits (partielly cause they are lowkey inspired by my beta Rika so I'm biased towards them lol).

3 Who is your fave villain / antagonist OC you've made? Hmmm so I don't really have a villain OC I would think, though most of my guys are morally grey by default. As for antagonist... *checks spreadsheet again* I guess Alberico and Fabio could count? Maybe not antagonists in the strictest sense but both of them are kinda in opposition to my main OCs or Squalo in Fabio's case and out of those two I prefer Fabio. Cause Alberico is mostly just a deeply petty and pathetic lil rat and he honestly annoys me lol. Fabio on the other hand is an arrogant bastard with a lot of issues but those mostly stem from his fucked up upbringing and he's still kinda young so I can see more character growth in him (Alberico ain't gonna change, his prejudice and sexism is deeply ingrained and will stay there until the end of time because he sees absolutely nothing wrong with it OTL).

24 If your OCs were the 'seven deadly sins', which would they be?

I'm actually super happy that you asked this one cause I love the question a lot!

Lust: Vlasta, which honestly needs no explanation lmao

Greed: Yves, because Yves is so fucking greedy, they want and take and steal with no remorse. Yves is plagued by an emptiness that they are desperate to fill, unknowing that with each thing they take it just widens the hole in them some more.

Pride: Marina, my girl is vain and arrogant and oh so prideful. She takes pride in her appearance, in her skill, in her smarts and in her family. It's the kind of pride that could easily lead to her downfall if she doesn't have someone to hold her in check.

Wrath: Beatrix, ngl this one might not the most perfect fit but out of all my OCs Trix is probaly the angriest. She has a massive temper and ingrained sense of justice which is probably misplaced in her kind of work but it also makes her very good at what she does.

Gluttony: ... tbh nobody is really a perfect match for this but I will put Dave in here for now cause he has the biggest sweet tooth imaginable and will literally climb into your pantry to eat your sugar out of the package like a heathen so he'll have to do here.

Sloth: Izumi, new specimen reveal!! I haven't planned on that but I can't put anyone else but Izumi there cause she's literally all about being lazy lmao. I won't go into detail but she's Hikari's twin sister and a genius but she hates working more than she has to so most of her brainpower is used to find ways for slacking off.

Envy: Fabio, every time Fabio looks at his cousin he turns a lil bit greener because he's just so fucking envious of Squalo it's unreal. He wants Squalo's prestige, his power, his hair care routine (/j). Please Don Superbi stop fucking your secretary and start paying attention to your son TT

oc ask game

[thesweetnessofspring]

Do you think Katniss and Peeta have biased opinions of each other?

Yes / No? Why?

Could you give example?

How did Peeta's hijacking affect their views of each other?

Disclaimer : these questions are for textual analysis, it’s not meant to incite fandom war.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

Hi nonny! This has taken me some time because I wanted to think on this for a bit. Tldr; their opinion of the other hinges a lot on how they think the other views them.

When Katniss thinks that she was just a random Seam kid Peeta helped once, she can't help but feel he's too good, too pure for Panem. When Peeta only knows Katniss from afar thinking she doesn't pay attention to him, she has an "effect" on people she doesn't herself perceive. When Katniss thinks Peeta views her as his competition, she believes him duplicitous and suspicious. And so it shifts based on whether they believe the other is actually in love with them, or if they're distant, or if they're friends.

The hijacking is definitely really tragic and this rocks how they view one another more than anything else. Obviously Peeta at first views Katniss as a mutt created by the Capitol. Once he's gone through some treatment, his views are still negative and that she's in the very least manipulative, his feelings and relationship to her bring a lot of confusion (did you love me? did you like kissing me? did you like kissing Gale? what happened on the train? are you my friend, lover, my target, or a mutt?).

Here's the thing with Peeta: he will not for the life of him admit when he needs to be cared for. He is the classic "I will take care of you, but don't worry about taking care of me, I'm fine." But underneath that, he just wants love, he wants someone to show him that he is loveable because he fears he isn't. And this personality trait doesn't disappear when he's hijacked. It is his very nature. But in seeing Katniss from a different light, in both his hijacked memories or her and the real ones clouded by the tracker jacker venom, he's broken to the point where he can't find it in him to love anyone (maybe other than Delly) because the memories have reinforced to him that his worst fear is true: he is unlovable. He gave his heart and was used and betrayed in return, never valued by anyone--not Katniss, not Haymitch, not Finnick.

In that anger, though, he is still reaching out for, yearning for Katniss to answer him. To explain everything to him. And I think a large part of him expects her to confirm she'd only used him the whole time. That his perception of her being a girl who enjoyed toying with him and Gale was true. But deeper underneath that layer of resentment, that part of Peeta that always sees the good and hopes, is searching for the reassurance: no, I love you. You are loveable.

When Peeta references the fact that the memory of Darius and Lavinia's torture wasn't "shiny" as well as the nights on the train that weren't touched by the Capitol, we're given to believe that he might have started to sort through some things on his own. And after Haymitch shakes up Katniss, she nicks a tiny crack in offering him a piece of himself back: his favorite color. Then seeing himself in his hijacked state really wakes him up to how far gone he is, how his perception cannot be trusted anymore.

This is I think where it really starts to turn back for Peeta. If he can't trust his mind, then his opinion of Katniss is wrong. So he has to learn about her all over again. And what does he learn? That she won't let him die. Not when he asks for it, over and over. Not when he first proposes it, not after more discussion, not when he's in the middle of his hijacking episode and she kisses him, puts herself in harms way again, to keep him with her.

The trouble is, Katniss has done this before during both Games, refusing to let Peeta be the one to die. So Peeta doesn't know if he is loveable, or if Katniss is simply that good and brave and strong to not let him go. That opinion he offered her about going to kill Snow, reminding her of the effect she can have...he sees now why she became the Mockingjay, why people followed her. And when he believes that she loves Gale, how can he see her sacrifices for him as anything but noble? If he is broken and worthless but she fights for him anyway, then she must be the hope Panem needs in that dark moment.

As for Katniss, well, we have access to her thoughts and some feelings. And she meets Peeta where he's at in challenging her. When he attacks her, calls her a mutt, something she never thought possible, she sees getting him back as impossible. She mourns him as if he were dead, because their relationship has changed so much she can't see it recovering, as she can't see him recovering.

She does get bits of hope, like Finnick and Annie's wedding cake, but when he comes at her with hostility, she sees that right back at him. It takes Haymitch reminding her who Peeta was, what he would have done for her, that brings her back to him. No longer is she meeting Peeta where he is in his hijacked state. Instead, she is remembering who he was, how he loved her, and tries to see him as he would have seen her in the same state. Through everyone helping out with his recovery, she finally gets glimpses into the true Peeta, the one she loves. Remembering her favorite color is green. That she loved the lamb stew. Giving others encouraging compliments. That he promised to always stay with her.

And after he had been conditioned to kill her, the fact that he saved her life as he always used to--that gave Katniss the belief and the hope that her Peeta, her dandelion in the spring, had truly come back to her, if she would only wait for his return. And then, he did.

[bumblingbabooshka]

How would Tuvok react to one or more of his children (Kes counts too) getting into a weird new interest he doesn't understand a la skibidibi toilet?

Hmm...He half-listens to it and clearly thinks it's silly but reiterates that he is listening if they ask. With Kes it would be different because she's an adult and not someone he thinks of as his child (more a mentee). As his children grow older his reaction to this phenomenon also changes. I envision him as the type of dad who if you're talking to him about anime will later point at anything vaguely cartoonish and ask if you'd like it. [why] I was under the impression you were interested in anime. [That is not anime, that is a cartoon.] Ah....... <- Doesn't know the difference but doesn't want to ask. It's a moment where you roll your eyes at your dad but also are a little bit pleased to know he was listening. He gets all the characters names a little bit wrong <3 In a batch of four one of his kids is no doubt deeply hurt by Tuvok's uncommitted attitude and another will just follow him around all day yapping. Just one more thing, father.  I also think there's a difference between something he doesn't understand and something he thinks is silly. If one if his kids wants to talk to him about say, a strategy math game they're really into he'll engage with it more than if Elieth wants to talk about shoes. Again. He strikes me as a person who'd really like for his children to of course be content in their lives but also maybe be proper and productive members of Vulcan society...why not go down to the learning center instead of watching cartoons? [It's anime./It's Saturday.] I'm saying all this thinking of them as teenagers though... When they're little he makes more of an effort to listen to them all seriously...he's nodding and paying full attention as they all regale him with tales of What We Played in the Park Today [action packed! the drama! the logical solutions! the pushing!] He isn't very interested in the topic itself but this peek into how their growing minds are operating is fascinating. He cherishes his children very plainly <3 Judging by Tuvok's personality he's a pretty strict person with strict values. He also doesn't hide when he's irritated or uninterested very well [Vulcans would be able to tell as Vulcan emotional expression is not alien to a Vulcan. Also he's their dad] and yet despite that he's patient and kind when it counts and especially soft/accommodating towards children. In 'Innocence' even though he clearly doesn't believe that there's a monster he still entertains the possibility and addresses their fear, trying to comfort them rather than shutting it down, you know? If say one of his children seemed hurt by his half-listening, no matter how silly it was, I know he'd apologize and give them his full attention like Ok. Ok. I am now Fully Prepared to listen to the process of you building a Gigantic Skull in Vulcan Minecraft. It'd be funny if Tuvok had random patches of heavily biased and half-remembered knowledge from his children. He knows your space Jordans are counterfeit...Elieth would have spotted them right away. With Kes he'd probably just try to listen for a bit before telling her that she should perhaps find someone else to speak about this particular topic with once he decided he wasn't interested and it had nothing to do with their mind power studies. v_v He's a guy who responded "No" when Harry asked if he wanted to know what he thought so I don't think he'd have any issue saying "I don't care about this" [worded differently] to another adult. Now if it was NAOMI he'd be stuck until he could find an excuse, Neelix, or her mom.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Weird question but do you think its possible to become a zookeeper without a degree? I'm 29 and don't have the time, energy, or money to go back to college and fear I've missed my chance at my dream career. I'm not sure how to get experience or what I could possibly do to help my resume.

It’s definitely possible! Not super common, but possible - and much more so than it would have been a couple of years ago.

When I was in college (early 2010s) and wanting to enter the field, there was a pretty clear pipeline: four year degree, unpaid summer internships, then apply for a part-time or temp position somewhere, and volunteer somewhere until you get a first job. This is still somewhat of the way it’s done at bigger AZA facilities.

But, interestingly enough, things are changing. There’s two things really driving that. The first is the massive push for increased DEAI efforts in the zoo industry. After the big commitments AZA and many individual zoos made during the BLM protests in 2020, one of the big conversations that started was how inequitable zoo hiring and especially internship programs are. Requiring four years degrees and large amounts of unpaid labor before getting a job - and paying poverty wages once someone gets that job - biases success entering and staying in the zoo field towards people with generational wealth. I honestly didn’t think the advocacy that stemmed from those discussions would do much, and I’ve been very pleasantly surprised to see that I was wrong! There’s a been a lot of real movement towards creating paid internships and making hiring requirements more equitable. It isn’t happening everywhere, but I know it’s becoming more and more common (and last year there was a ton of presentations about this on the AZA annual meeting schedule, which is a huge deal). The other thing that’s happening is less formal, but equally fascinating. I’ve been present for a lot of discussions about how there’s a disconnect between what zoos are hiring for (formal education, complex resumes) and what skills the job actually requires. It seems like it’s easier to train people to work with animals and learn their behavior than it is to teach people practical skills like how to do manual labor without hurting themselves and operate heavy machinery. I’ve seen some discussions of how some of their most successful new staff have come from adjacent industries or even just other “blue-collar” jobs that involve similar types of work, regardless of what their academic background is. Which is great! Because that adds to equity and diversity of staff across the industry.

To start off the rest of my answer, there has to be a disclaimer that I’m not in hiring, so I can’t say for sure what will get you a job (and while I’ve volunteered and interned, I have never been formally hired as staff by a zoological facility). So my advice for the rest of this comes from watching and listening to a whole ton of industry folk for the past decade or so, and from what I’ve seen my friends do that’s been successful to get jobs in the field.

In terms of experience, the best thing you can do - and I hate to say this, because it does require a level of privilege to be able to do - is volunteer somewhere. It doesn’t have to be at a zoo. Anything that will give you some animal experience for a resume and references will be valuable: shelters, vet offices, riding barns, farms, even 4H. You need to be able to demonstrate that you’ve worked around a variety of species (even if they’re all domestic) and have people who can speak to the fact that you’re diligent, attentive to detail, and have common sense about things like safety protocols. If you can’t volunteer, try to find a job in any of these areas with similar skills. Or where you can learn them! Say you can’t get an animal care job, but you’re good at phones and people - you could get a desk job at an animal shelter, and help out with cleaning and animal enrichment when possible. Boom! Experience!

It’s also important to learn how to shape your current job experience to an application, which is something I can talk more about and maybe pull in advice from folk actually in hiring for. There’s a ton that can be applicable to animal jobs. Office work? You can probably speak to experience with proprietary software systems and record-keeping (which is a bigger deal than you’d think). Construction / landscaping / similar physical labor jobs? You know how to work hard in a range of weather conditions, keep a project on spec, have experience with complex project planning, and probably know a thing or two about basic safety stuff (don’t store heavy things above your head, lift with your legs, etc). You’re basically looking to communicate “I haven’t worked in this field, but here’s all the skills I have that will translate to this job.”

Realistically, if you’re coming in without a degree or a ton of animal experience, you’re much more likely to be able to get a job at smaller, non-AZA facilities to start (they might not even be zoos - there’s sanctuaries and petting zoos and all sorts of other professional animal care gigs). And this is fine and good! There’s lots of good ones out there. You can always use experience gained there to move up in the field, if it’s your dream to work at an AZA facility specifically. And a lot of people do that - you’ll hear some places talk about how they know they’re training zoos, because their staff get a foot in the door and then consistently leave for other facilities after a couple years. But there’s also a lot of reasons to stay with some of the smaller facilities. They’re often in areas with cheaper cost of living, and so a zookeeping salary will go farther. I’ve also seen that a lot of the smaller facilities - ones where like, staff know and interact with the zoo director frequently - tend to take better care of their staff. They may not be able to increase salary, but I’ve seen some of those facilities go the extra mile for their people in other ways when it’s possible. It’s a very different experience than being a small cog in the giant machines that are many AZA zoos. It’s the sort of thing you have to vet carefully, but when you find a small facility that really invests in it’s people, it can be very worthwhile.

You also have to think about the fact that you don’t have to start in zookeeping to get an animal care job! I’ve seen a lot of people start in education or in summer camp staff, and then use the relationship with the facility and their track record in those jobs to transition into animal care. Especially education, if you’ve got the skill-set, because you’re often working with ambassador animals or in collaboration with the teams that care for them. I’ve seen some people start in facilities or ground crew, too, but I think that’s less common. Getting your foot in the door somehow and building relationships is one of the biggest parts of getting a job in the field if you’re not following the traditional pipeline.

If you’re near enough to a smaller facility that you can visit regularly, do. Learn as much as you can about the zoo and what they do and what they’re involved in, to show that you’re interested and invested, and then go talk to someone there. Tell them exactly what you told me: this is a dream, and you’re really interested in their facility specifically, and you’re wondering what you should do to build a resume to apply for a job there. At worst, you’ll get some advice. At best, they might take a chance on you. I’ve heard of it happening. (The hardest part of this is, honestly, figuring out who to talk to - it’s not the sort of thing where you can just ask a keeper while they’re cleaning. But you can find opportunities, and then ask if there’s someone in management who might have time to answer a couple questions.)

So in short: yes. It’ll take some work and time, and probably some free labor, but it’s doable. More so now than any other time recently. Good luck!

[freaky-flawless]

So I Got Cleo's G3 Doll

Here's my thoughts under the cut. Just wanna put a disclaimer that I am someone who doesn't consider themself a fan of Gen 3, but is keeping an open mind. So just keep that in mind as you read, I am biased and do compare her to the G1 dolls, but I try to give credit where credit is due.

Like I said previously, I love the doll itself. Her face up is pretty (mine does have a slight imperfection, but its subtle enough that I'm not bothered by it), her hair is pretty, her skin tone and the shimmer they added to it are beautiful. I love her new body as well, though I do wish her torso and neck were a little longer. Specifically I love her big ears and hands. I do like G1 Cleo's hand pose a little bit more, but overall her new hands are great, and because they're bigger they're easier to remove. And finally, this will probably be an unpopular opinion, but I could do without the chest articulation in place of something else, like a doll stand.

I can't say much on the quality of her hair as it's not something I'm all that knowledgeable about. All I can say is that it feels more...plasticy? Compared to her G1 doll's hair. I'm having a hard time getting it to stay flat. I also think it's kinda odd that they seemingly made it a point to give all the dolls long brushable hair, but didn't provide brushes. Don't get me wrong, I have an abundance of Monster High brushes and don't need any more, but kids brand new to the series don't. And as someone with nieces, I can say for sure that they love brushing doll hair. I feel like doll stands and hair brushes are pretty standard things for dolls to come with nowadays, especially at that price range.

I'm very amused at how much she looks like Nefera, in the sense that the two of them look even more related than G1 Cleo and Nefera. It does look to me as though they took more inspiration from Nefera's G1 design more than Cleo's, which is interesting. I also discovered that Nefera's shoes, though they don't fit, match G3 Cleo's outfit pretty well, aside from the black in them.

Speaking of G3 Cleo's outfit...that's where my biggest disappointment lies.

I haven't exactly been subtle about my dislike for her boots. They don't go with the style of her dress, and overall I think giving a character who grew up in a hot desert climate boots is a super weird choice. On top of that I don't find them to be flattering on her new leg molds. Her calves are much thicker now, and adding thick boots to them really accentuates it and makes her look slightly awkward and disproportionate. However the actual quality of them is pretty good. There's a decent amount of detail, and I appreciate that the slit in the back of them doesn't go all the way up so they can't lose their shape, which is actually an issue I have with a couple G1 dolls. I would say the same for her accessories, they're well detailed and the paint job on them is really nice.

Her dress is where things take a nosedive. I think before I was so distracted by how much I disliked her boots that I didn't pay that much attention to her dress. But now that I have her and have felt the material I'm really disappointed by it. I don't know what material was used to make it, but I can assure it's plastic and pretty cheap feeling. Compared to G1 Cleo's clothes it feels like a cheap costume. I will say this material is probably more play proof, but I do have G1 Cleo's basic outfit, which is over ten years old by now, and her jumpsuit still looks brand new, and the material is so soft. It feels like real clothes. And compared to other modern doll lines the quality of her dress is kinda embarrassing. They couldn't have used a nicer material?? And aside from that, she has this new beautiful body mold, I would have really hoped that they'd have given her an outfit to accentuate it a bit more, like Draculaura's does.

Interestingly, I think her outfit in the show and on the box art would look better on her doll, and her doll's outfit would look better on her 3D model.

tldr; the doll is gorgeous, she should have come with a brush and a doll stand, her accessories are well detailed, and the quality of her dress is cheap.