#i could *perhaps* be more specific
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I have a question, idk if it's been answered b4; are the Horror variants older than their non-horrors? how much older?
thank you, hope you're doing well!
They are!
I hate settling on exact numbers because A) it’s the quickest way to get people to (instinctively) try and fact-check you and B) this is all for self-insertable purposes so being too specific about ages would inevitably exclude people, so I’m not going to do that, but there is a rough sliding scale.
Undertale, Underswap, Underfell, Swapfell, Undergloom, Underfell Fruition, and Swapfell Fruition are all about the same ages (Sanses and Papyri respectively).
Transcendtale and Ascendswap are also in that same age group, but have consciously lived through a lot more timelines, so they’re in a bit of a gray area there in terms of being/feeling older, but technically being the same age.
Horrorswap, Horrorswapfell, and Gastertale are a bit older than the others, chronologically. The horrors’ Chaos after The Human left took awhile to resolve so they ended up getting to the Surface later than their non-horror counterparts, while the G!bros came into existence around the same time as the original Sans would have. They started out as fully-formed youths so they just jumped the timeline a bit.
Horrortale and Horrorfell are older than that. They had the Famine to deal with after The Human left, which took even longer to resolve than the Chaos that the ‘swap ‘verses, so they’re sitting pretty as nearly the eldest.
Descendtale are the absolute oldest ones, but again there’s something of a gray area. The changes brought on by consumption of the echo flower root include a significant slowdown to the aging process, so even though they stayed Underground for another lifetime at the least, their physical bodies are in roughly the same condition as when The Human left.
Which is to say, it’s hard to nail down an exact age for some of them anyway, due to the variety of circumstances in their ‘verses (multiple timelines, accelerated and decelerated growth and aging, et cetera), but that’s the rough scale of it.
#anonymous#headcanons#i could *perhaps* be more specific#but i won't#consider their ages a choose-your-own-adventure#<3
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What exactly are living gods in the blightseed universe?
Ok here's the (DANGEROUSLY vestigial at this point) Meta Deeplore:
There is a material form of energy that is utilized by biological bodies essentially as an animating force. This IS the vaguely defined, extremely ambiguous magic in the setting. It is what produces the actual experience of Consciousness and can be basically considered 1:1 with conscious experience. All life utilizes this energy (whether actually conscious life in the traditional sense or not).
It cannot be created or destroyed, and rather follows pathways of dispersal between one material plane and a parallel plane. This parallel plane is 'the ether' 'the dreamlands' etc, and has its own matter. Discrete entities from the dreamlands are essentially formed as a byproduct of consciousness and, when interacted with, are deeply susceptible to the influence of conscious Thought (they are essentially matter organized By consciousness and can be reorganized by consciousness)
These are the entities that can become living gods. Dreamlands fauna occasionally slips into prime material reality, at which point they are directly under the influence of consciousness and can be transformed. Dreamlands fauna in of itself is not directly perceivable but produces a sense of Presence, like the feeling of being watched when alone in the wilderness, a 'third man effect', a sense of inexplicable awe or fear, seeing shadows from the corner of your eye, etc. The combination of their tangible effects and their susceptibility to consciousness creates a self-reinforcing cycle that produces living gods.
IE: if one is on a forest and people experience the sensation of its presence, belief that there is some entity there may develop. This will follow the lines of the cultural worldview- say there are already beliefs in spectral hounds that encounter travelers at night, it might be interpreted as a location-specific hound, given a name and identity through stories. This in turn causes the dreamlands fauna to physically embody that form and the assumed qualities, and people will start having absolute materially real encounters with it, thus reinforcing the initial beliefs that created it and generating new elements of the mythology. This is what a living god is.
They need persistent, localized, and coherent beliefs to hold their forms. If a village creates a living god and is then wiped out in a disaster, the god will gradually lose its form and return to its initial state of a sense of Presence. This is also a limiting factor on the 'size' and power of a living god, if an entire religion formed around it and became a widespread phenomena, the living god itself cannot 'keep up'. It is sustained on direct and localized interactions, so belief becoming widely dispersed (especially if the localized belief is lost) will cause it to gradually become less discrete. The effect of this property is that living gods are almost always minor deities or spirits tied to a specific location by a specific nearby culture. A lot of deities in larger religions may have once had a living god component that is now indiscrete.
The living god of the Ur-tree is an unusual exception in that it was created over millennia, basically by the survival instincts of the Plants it interacts with, and has held its form over hundreds of millions of years due to this being ubiquitous and un-susceptible to cultural change. The only thing that could 'kill it' is if its forest was entirely destroyed.
So 99% of living gods can be described as thoughtforms created by the process of folkloric/religious development. They are created BY people and not the other way around, and nothing about their nature confirms or denies the existence of other deities or etc.
And yeah I'm going to be 100% real I am REALLY tempted to dump even this extremely ambiguous magical element like it is soooooooooooooooo fucking NOT important to the setting at this point. I've kind of allowed 'literal god entities created by mortal belief' to be just a tiny part of the world's fabric by their nature, like it works within the worldbuilding for such a hugely significant concept to ultimately be insignificant in the overall framework, so I COULD just Leave It but idk. If it were not for me wanting to still have my big fucking god tree and a talking dog as an actual character it would be out of here soooo fast..........
#And see I can see ways out of it without fully destroying the concepts like. I would fully lose my talking dog but could still#have the Ur-Tree exist in a similar (but perhaps less cool) capacity with like a Very Special Fungus that has maintained#a stable ecosystem over a very long geological scale.#Most of the established lore of specific living gods could continue to exist as folklore. It's already a thing that I avoid#confirming or denying any religious outlook and don't want to establish religions that are 'More Correct' than others#(I kind of don't like that dichotomy that sometimes comes up in fantasy settings with Confirmed deities.)#Just gonna say if the concept stops coming up altogether do not be surprised.#Like initially this setting was just a mass dumping ground for ideas but now that it's pretty heavily developed it has too much of its own#identity and rules for me to just do whatever. And 'canon' supernatural elements don't really have a place.#Every supernatural component of this setting getting whacked 1 by 1. The outro to 'Layla' playing in the background.#Press F.
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Seen people share their headcanons of what would Luffy call Crocodile if Crocodad was Real, and it did get me wondering
Like on one hand, Luffy has a perfect track-record with respecting trans people and not misgendering anyone, so if Crocodad Real, Luffy wouldn't misgender him
But also, Luffy has two braincells, and having two people to call "dad" would probably be confusing for him. And Luffy doesn't seem like the type of guy who'd either of his parents "Father" either. Canonically Luffy tends to use more affectionate terms for his family, including Dragon despite never having ever met him ("tou-chan", "ji-chan" for Garp, "nii-chan" for Ace. Note the lack of the polite "o" at the begining, and the use of "chan" instead of "san". The take-away here is that he's basically being a bit familiar and kind of affectionate)
And let us not forget, how Luffy loves giving nicknames to people
So it would be perfectly on-brand for Luffy to come up with a new nickname for Crocodile, if only to help differentiate The Dads
(Like yes, Luffy does technically have a nickname for Crocodile already ("wani", lit. "crocodile"), but it's not really an affectionate nickname (or a particularly disrespectful one either, kind of neutral (though calling someone you're not friends with by a nickname is kind of rude)). And while Luffy can and does drop the funny nicknames for people if he decides he likes them enough (see Hammock turning into Hancock, or Luffy learning Bonney's name and using it because he felt bad for her), if Luffy did learn about Crocodile being his other dad and wanted to treat him as such (which he also might not, to be fair)... yeah he could come up with a new nickname)
Now the question just is... what kind of a nickname would Luffy then come up with?
And because I'm a fucking loser with a passion for translation and localization, I'm almost specifically interested in what kind of a nickname Luffy would come up with in Japanese. And partially because, depending on the nickname, it could just be the exact same nickname in English too. Like Luffy's "Yama-o" got localized as "Yamabro" because the "o" (written as 男, lit. "man") needed to be translated and localized for the nickname to hit the same in English. Same for shit like "split head" for Foxy or "giant shallot" for Moria, or "wani" getting localized as "gator" because Luffy calling Crocodile a "crocodile" as a nickname would not make any sense in English lmao
So... a cute nickname that makes it easy for Luffy to call Crocodile his "dad" without it getting confusing with calling Dragon "dad". Maybe something that ties to his name already and preferably rolls off the tongue easily in Japanese... Like we have our Crocodads and Dadodiles but these nicknames are based in English, so they don't roll off the tongue nicely -> Can't imagine Luffy saying either. But... I think the fans are onto something there... There must be a variation of this nickname that would work well in Japanese...
Papadile.
I could see Luffy coming up with a nickname like that. It would roll off the tongue pretty easily. The only counter argument against it I can think of would be that Luffy does not seem like the kind of guy who would call anyone "papa". Like that word does not fit in his mouth.
...Anything else?
Well. I guess there is the third, forbidden option of Luffy calling him "oyaji" ("pops"), much like Whitebeard's crew called their captain too.
But that just leads us to an interesting thought; what the fuck would Crocodile prefer Luffy call him?
I mean this is Sir "Call me what you will" Crocodile, who generally does not seem to care that much about what people call him. Like we could take that and just assume Crocodile would not give a fuck about what Luffy called him, but it's also possible this could be like The One Exception to The Rule. And there's many potential reasons why too
Like there's the practical side of things where it could be a pain in Crocodile's ass if the world found out the two were related, because it'd mean anything bad happening to either one could be used against the other. Someone targetting Luffy could be then used intentionally to target Crocodile and viceversa. As Dragon said, a child is a parent's weak spot after all. So it could still be in Crocodile's self-interest to keep their blood relation a secret. But also; Crocodile had to leave his child behind. Much like how Olvia felt like she had no right to call herself Robin's mom, it'd make sense to me if Crocodile felt kind of the same. That regardless of their blood connection, he had no right to call himself Luffy's father, let alone deserve to be called that after what he'd done to Luffy.
So maybe Crocodile would prefer to be just called by his name. Maybe he'd be satisfied with that. Perhaps being called "pops" would lowkey annoy the shit out of him because it would just remind him of That Asshole Who Took His Hand and beat his ass. Which, y'know, fair. Perhaps "Papadile" would be just a bit too ridiculous and cutesy for him tolerate. And perhaps Luffy calling him "dad" (or "father", or any variation of it) would be a lot more emotionally compromising to Crocodile than he'd like to admit, especially if he believed he would never be called that
But knowing Luffy, if he knows being called "dad" made Crocodile happy (even if he didn't want to admit it), and if Luffy did decide he liked Crocodile/accepted him as his other dad... He'd probably keep on calling Crocodile some variation of "dad", even if he insisted that "Crocodile was fine"
Also worth noting that according to this SBS, if Croc did raise a child that child would use 父上 ("chichiue"), which is quite a formal way to call someone Father
So that would be Crocodile's canon preferred term but god knows there'd be no way in hell he'd be able to convince Luffy to call him that, shit's way too formal for Luffy
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#I think the most likely thing would be Luffy calling Dragon the cutesy ''tou-chan'' and Crocodile ''otou-san''#It would be more formal than Luffy normal would use but I do feel like Crocodile would veto ''oyaji'' if Luffy tried that#Also considdering the two's relationship so far I think Luffy could try to be SLIGHTLY more formal with Croc than with Dragon#Like they did try to kill each other. Perhaps Croc hasn't earned the -chan from Luffy y'know lmao#But if Luffy wanted to specifically come up with a new **nickname** then Papadile seems the most likely#Regardless I do feel like Papadile would be what like what the Strawhats could start calling Crocodile though lmao#(Namely Nami Sanji and Usopp) (They're not immune to using nicknames for comedic effect) (And let's be real it'd be funny)#(I'd say Robin wouldn't call him that but you know if she wanted to tease him while knowing he can't really stop her. Go off queen)#(Jinbei would just call him by his name though still I'm sure) (Zoro Franky and Brook could go either way)
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on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me
#hotd spoilers#i mean at least we got to SEE addam and seasmoke meet#like since the timeline started we’ve had three perhaps four dragon claiming and not cradle eggs - laena and vhagar; aemond and vhagar;#helaena and dreamfyre; addam and seasmoke; potentially aegon and sunfyre since it’s kinda fuzzy on exactly how that one worked#(i imagine similar to however laenor & seasmoke worked tho? that one is similarly vague)#(oh fuck and daeron and tessarion are in the same boat right? very young rider very young dragon but we’re not told whether this is a cradle#egg or whether this child just felt a pull to a young dragon or whether they were specifically allowed to choose that dragon)#anyways i think it’s really annoying we’ve only see that one (1) claiming esp when you look at the riders of the other ones lol.#also vhagar gets a LOT of action helaena and dreamfyre don’t get anything and they cut the one thing they did do.#laena is vastly underused altho i will give them that they at least on screen establish that bond which is more than u can say for dreamfyre#the seasmoke thing is also like. if you were Just gonna kill him offscreen so addam could ride him. what’s the point.#literally could have just had daemon kill him atp & just have him lie to rhaenyra or whatever.#i’ve really liked the dragon scenes we’ve gotten but frequently it’s like. u called the show house of the dragon.#surely you thought about how you were going to cheaply do the dragons or budget them in. why don’t we get more dragons.#‘well they’re expensive-‘ get an animatronic head to interact w like jurassic park. some of these characters rode their dragons every day!#okY i’m done bitching i can’t believe after i spent all of got going ‘fuck these dragons where are the wolves’ now i’m like#WJERE ARE THE FUCKING DRAGONS CONDAL
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
#bnha 429#bnha spoilers#bnha critical#bnha#idk i just feel bad for the guy#i think he's sexist as shit#but no one deserves to work under such bad conditions#and frankly idk how any weekly story turns out any good#especially when its gone on for so many years#like when you think about it the chapters aren't even real full chapters#they're like half or even a quarter of a chapter that you'd find in a book or monthly manga#of course you're your going to have an incoherent story when you write like that#I mean the only other thing written like that are some fanfictions#and those authors can and often do go back and edit things#heck I've seen some that go on hiatus with the specific purpose of overhauling the entire backlog of chapters to make it a better overall#and I think part of why BNHA is perhaps worse then other weekly shonen is because he had a lot he wanted to say#on top of trying to find things that kept him invested in a story he clearly was tired of writing#I mean Lady Nagnat is great example#he watched a movie and thought the female assassin character was cool and it got him excited to draw/write#so he shoehorned in this character that was really only there because she made the story more fun for him to write and draw for a while#like American comics aren't great either when it comes to consistency or coherent plots sometimes#but I do wonder if BNHA might have been better if Hori could have left a story bible and basic outlines of what his plans were#and then someone else could have worked on it instead#because he really didn't seem very into by the end of the first war arc#like I think he wished that had been the end#but it wasn't and he was really tired and burned out#and probably already working on fumes
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Tsubomi Takane... I really need to write her in several situations but alas, I have to proceed with my studies
#lalá rambling...#I can make her so strange in a secret and very specific way characteristic of “perfect normal girls”#do you think she would unmask a little on her new school. nobody knows her anyways#so there is no stupid expectation of her as some kind of goddess#I want her to have a good life being herself#is there any place I could get more information on her?? the fanbook perhaps???#I once read her home had a soundproof piano room and she liked to yell in there. thats a mood#mp100
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i think chappell roan enforcing her boundaries to creepo parasocial fans is so fucking awesome and based and she should be allowed to do whatever she wants forever
#seriously i never see artists (regardless of what type of art) enforcing these boundaries and making people listen#also ive just become aware people are mad at her for not getting involved in political stuff???#hey i think perhaps people should form their own opinions and not base their life choices on what a celebrity they dont even know says?#its not like celebrities are your trusted royal advisors man go think about it yourself.#i was going to say “if taylor swift told you to vote for a specific person would you listen” but thats a bad example isnt it#i think swifties just do whatever she says man#i think a lot of people really need to perhaps consider looking into what THEY THEMSELVES think of political candidates#and form their OWN opinions through research if theyre not sure on who to vote for#and not just immediately look to a random celebrity or public figure for what to do#has anybody considered like this isnt celebrities' business????#youre not at fucking daycare or highschool its not their responsibility to show you how to use critical thinking or form opinions#these arent your family members. these arent your friends. theyre just people a lot of people know about.#seriously man...i plan on attaining some fame from my projects eventually. its not gonna be my job to do that anymore than any other artist#my job is to draw furries not kiss the fans and tell them what to think. thats not my business.#even if i disagree with someone's views its still not my business my business is drawing furries.#theres a difference between using your platform to talk about issues and literally fucking telling people how to vote.#basing all your life choices on what celebrities think is gonna get you in a deep fuckin hole and do you no good. look at things 4 yourself#Sorry im kind of ranting here. am i sorry actually? no i think this needs to be said and im sayign it#and im not basing that on what popular figures think either! im basing that on what i think! which is what more people should do!#why dont we look at this from the perspective of like...streamers instead. cause people are weird towards streamers too#if i were to go up to a streamer or youtuber and ask them who to vote for#if i went up to fucking markiplier or vinny vinesauce and asked one of them who to vote for you'd all think i was deranged.#celebrities can also be wrong about shit!!! or be shit people!!! this is not me attacking anyone here!!#please consider the fact they are literally just people and theyre not some all seeing omnipotent god figures#you could go and ask nicki minaj who to vote for. or doja cat. you could just as well go and ask your boss who to vote for. or a neighbor!#and either way you dont need to base your life choices based on what that person says!#you still need to think for yourself!#but i think if youre gonna ask someone who to vote for it should be someone you know personally. not a pop star. not a gamer. not an artist#if youre gonna base your opinions on that of other people base it on the opinions of people you trust. people who know you.#people who are really there for you.
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tbh I’ll always be a little salty about the fact that there’s like 10 flagged and obvious parallels that frame Birdie as being a more sympathetic version of Liliana. and yet
#oh woman who left child to try and neutralize a danger the child faced#ended up staying away much longer than perhaps intended and fell in with a faction focusing on ruidus?#birdie took ollie with her left fearne with someone who could protect her specifically#never meant to leave her for over 100 years (that’s on nana) and works with the verity and sabotages the unseelie court (works with ludinus#meanwhile#liliana left husband and child (unprotected) intentionally stayed away for so long LEFT the verity to join ludinus willingly#even birdie's time spent with zathuda in cultish activity is framed more sympathetically#AND YET#cr tag#i was thinking about this like a week ago and couldn't word the post properly so whatever this was the bottom line anyway
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my controversial gw2 opinion of the day is that i actually like isgarren. dont get me wrong. i think he's objectively wrong about everything and also kind of a brat. that's the thing and the problem though. i like isgarren because he's kind of a massive whiny tantrum baby fussy drama queen.. he took brat summer and turned it into brat epoch !
#my stuff#this is a lot of tumblr friendly words to say i like him bc hes kinda a fruit btw#i do not think that he is smart either btw ☝️ book smart perhaps but nothing else#i think he's MEANT to be a really unlikeable character on purpose in a specific hammy way#like he's literally intended to be read as an interpersonally dislikeable and even interpersonally stunted kind of bookish wizard old fart#i think soto introduced him slightly weirdly bc i think. anet like#acted like we're supposed to consider him more morally grey than he actually is#but#JW SPOILERS IN PROCEEDING TAGS#i think its more obvious he's just plain not a good guy moving forward#now that their writing has found its bearings again#every other character is just like yeah this guy sucks..would be really funny if he was stuck in a torment nexus for awhile right#even the commander is like wow i feel the sudden urge to poke the bear with this guy for no reason#must be his generally dislikeable and negative aura#you could say he's morally grey ig because he technically does 'good' its just very transparent how much he sucks at it#anyways#do you think him and mabon knew each other carnally ?
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Every day I wake up regretting getting emotionally invested in Jujutsu Kaisen
#It's both the best and worst thing ever written#So much potential. Wonderful dynamics. Every concept that ever mattered to me personally#which means it's all the best concepts ever in the history of humankind#The most adorable kids. The most gorgeous women. The most whatever Gojo is#Which is pretty much 'everything' considering he is not Jack or Heathcliff#And yet#AND YET#It fails at reaching its full potential on any of the stuff I mentioned#It's truly truly the best thing ever. It's truly also a source of constant dissatisfaction#AND YET AGAIN#When you think 'yeah okay it's too much dissatisfaction it isn't worth it' it hits you again with the best thing ever#I hate it here so much#I wish I didn't get into this at all in general and I specifically wish Gojo Satoru would disappear for good of reality itself#Just *pum* vanished. Like melting water on snow or something#As if he had never been at all. And then I'd have never gotten into this#Anyway... I'm begging everyone who is into Gojo to read Georg Cantor. I have some other authors and texts. I can send stuff#In any case it's all good. I'm sure everything will be forgotten in a couple months#I won't think about this at all in just a little bit more time#Yeah. Pretty sure#It's just a temporal thing with very short time. Almost like an ephemeral fly#Or the lapsus of time in which one could eat cherries yearly#By wintertime this won't be anything at all. At most a red stain on snow that perhaps brings cherries back to memory#Nothing else. Just a little bit more time and it shall pass#But goodness how I wish Gojo Satoru would disappear from my life or the very fabric of reality#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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65 What thing are you most looking forwards to writing that you haven't yet gotten to ?
(Either original fiction or Empress AU don't have to say you don't want to reveal a surprise.)
from this ask game!
i'm really looking forward to finally getting willow in here, even though it's taken me 10,000,000 years. i'm a little intimidated though, on account of how it's been 10,000,000 years. afraid i won't be able to do her character justice.....
oh and! writing more about camila and vee! i've already written their first encounters both with vee shapeshifted and with vee Not shapeshifted (unpublished because the fic isn't done/edited), but i've yet to write the slow burn of the trust built between them After that.
there's a scene i haven't even Begun to write yet, but that exists in my head, where vee is like "i don't want to be a replacement for your daughter, i can't do it, i can't live up to that" and camila is like. ....who on earth said Anything about you replacing Anyone??
and that.... ough. i want to write it!
#also more of vee and hunter's backstory mess. of course.#then there's also a very specific feeling when vee figures out who luz (probably) is#where vee is like. is it worse to tell camila than to just. keep that information to myself#and has to grapple with knowing that camila will try to find luz if she finds out that luz is alive#and knowing how dangerous it is and worrying camila might forget about vee entirely#but she's like. i actually could not live with myself if i kept this from her.#and so she becomes perhaps the First Character Ever in this Entire Goddamn AU to actually TELL ANYONE ANYTHIIIIINGGG#good for her.#replies#toh#princess luz au#vee noceda#camila noceda
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anyway i need more monarch a trois fics. sigh. wish i could write, i gotta draw them more at least
#the thing is i dont even know what abour if i were to request or write myself#but im thinking about a post movie setting with the monarch healing and perhaps with also some comfort about the new situation#also Spoilers but id assume the arching would be more complicated with the ventures in colorado#so its just a waiting time. time to be domestic? or speed it up by killinger helping monarch heal up and the ventures getting back to NY#orrr the monarch gets a new cocoon finally or a jet. anything he can fly in to get to the ventures#i wonder how they would continue this. theres still a lot to be told story wise. but in this case#lotsa time for feelings and getting together properly#im also thinking about how seemingly gary doesnt think about sheila That much now and it seemed to be pretty awkward between them so#id love to see them get closer. him and monarch are very close but its time for sheila#aaand id also love to explore monarchs feelings. theres gotta be a Lot of them right now - but specifically the changes about him and how#he views others and how he respects and cares about both sheila and gary and perhaps explore what could be internalized homophobia#his past remarks vs now i know its the show as a whole maturing but its also nice to just view it as his personal character growth and#feelings realization on his side...#the thing is hes a villain and they wanted to push this whole 'he says shitty things cause hes a dick. hes a villain.' thing but#they fleshed him out so much that i cant not look at him as a not that bad guy and feel for him and pity him and such#siiiigh i wanna know more. i wanna know how hed treat more henchmen now. i wanna know about his childhood after the plane crash#i wanna know if he does or doesnt feel bad about kidnapping gary. assuming monarch just went straight to henching at a young age#perhaps its so normal to him - and its so normal to gary imo. thats why they dont see anything wrong in training kids as henchmen lol#also while im at it. the monarch being the reason 24 died and the biography 21 helped write and monarchs cat that he killed#are they over that. are the last 2 things light retcons? i wannt them discussing that#maybe theres fics about it but if its not shippy i havent found it yet#me when the rarepair/trio is rare 😥😩#and i havent seen 2024 fics. where are they hiding#everything is like 2018 latest so pre movie or during or pre s7
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The heart grows ever fonder ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#DAX#You thought they were just normal SCII doodles but it was a trick! These are still inspired by Helix!! Haha ♪#Specifically of ZEX going in for one-on-one therapy and being discouraged from being Quite so clingy hehe#I was struck by just how quickly he was convinced - denotes to me a level of not just logical understanding but perhaps even relating#And who could fit such description! Of being a little overly-concerned and hovery near the Admiral? Hehe ♪#Is it different ZEX? Is it really?#It's all out of looooove~♥ It's only different by so much!#DAX's overbearing husband routine is admittedly a bit differently motivated than ZEX's romantic trysts with his Captain but still haha#Especially of the moments where ZEX wants to protect his human! Again the motivation is slightly different but by how much!#I love ZEX's possessiveness in relation to his protective and patronizing feelings hehe <3 He's so pessimistic!#Way to alliterate me lol#And then so is DAX though he's a little more realistic - at least his pessimism is tempered by hard evidence of ZEX getting hurt :(#Just makes him more of a helicopter! Haha#I really have changed not even a bit in the five years since I first fell in love with ZEX <3 He still inspires head full of love hearts ♥#I spent quite literally the entire day thinking about and doodling him he's just so lovely#I can tell that this fixation has already hit its first fever pitch but since there's still more to read hehe ♪#Rounding out with he <3 Beautiful <3#I was watching a speedpaint and they made such lovely scale-plated armor that I was very inspired!#Much as I enjoy the thought of ZEX preferring his uniform over needlessly dressing up I do still love him in fancy clothes haha#A decorative armor piece but still lovely all the same :) And of course his head feelers decorated! Lightly ♪#He's really so handsome <3
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had a character development moment today where I realized maybe I simply do not have a healthy relationship to classical music anymore
#i always felt terrible about 'losing interest' but it never felt right to say that#partially as a music student but partially because i *love* classical music I always have and I still do#so perhaps it's not that i've lost interest#for lack of a better term i just can't be normal about it anymore#it just. exhausts me#like i wish i could just turn the analysis brain off even for a moment#and just enjoy it#but it's ironic because the analysis brain is a result of the fact that i love it so much#idk. i just want to be able to listen without it feeling like it has to be a source of self-improvement.#without it feeling like an educational endeavor every single time#i love learning about it but if you turn every single interaction you have with a thing into a learning interaction#it does kind of eat away at the fun you have with it if you're not careful#because at a certain point you stop thinking about what you enjoy about it and what you love about it#in favor of what you can glean from it#and like. if you just think about that out of context. that's not a healthy form of love#idk. ironically enough maybe i need to not immediately jump to the score videos#i think i need to just listen to things again#like I don't actually Need to know how they work immediately. that information is going to be there regardless#i can just. try to listen again#idk. very specific problem to have#the things you go through when you spend your life so intensely steeped in one art form#i would be more normal about it if i was less intimate with it in a way. it's a double edged sword#because at least i know it's this thing i carry with me so deeply and so permanently#this thing that has ingrained itself into my very being and the way i think#it's as dangerous as it is wonderful#i just wish i could wield it better#anyway.#composerposting#mine
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what if we held on to whatever we get the idea of as Normal as unquestionable & think all you can do to this normal is apply some veneers overtop it to be more polite & also resent that. maybe we could project that everyone who seems to be Annoyingly Disruptively doing more than this must be putting on a performance to look good &/or humor others b/c that's all we ever believe we're doing, & again, we resent even that much....maybe we could use our show of More Polite language to make the same points blaming everyone who our Normal mistreats for their own mistreatment
#perhaps we could lecture autistic people on their; ah; Lacking Social Skills or Intelligence. it's just matter of fact#completely neutral what Annoys those who do well enough when thrown into any group settings; completely neutral how they React#like yeah can't possibly take issue w/anything Acceptable to Encouraged in the realm of even ''successful'' ''normal'' social interactions#infinite ''smh this is why nobody takes ableism seriously'' like oh you mean b/c of the ableism? is why you don't take it seriously?#infinite ways of phrasing that everyone alleged so Annoying With It is just like you but someone actively Putting On An Act too much#all it can possibly be. just as someone's Anti Ableism would be knowingly ''humoring'' / ''tolerating'' an autistic person e.g.#ah you see to this Person Who Identifies As Nonbinary's face i will try to mostly use Their Preferred Pronouns. that's that done#but it's sooo annoying. what's next; multiple &/or changing pronouns? god even worse. so Inflicted Upon my correct norm#if i'm not feeling actively malicious & devious in how i treat someone i am surely as righteous as it gets#having to improve on perfection by occasionally feeling Put Upon to perform politeness around some individuals? ughhh#that's why it's actually illegitimate. shouldn't have to be Put Upon like that. (finding the norm Questionable? out of the question Lol)#shocked ppl report that casual usage of the r word is having a revival. by shocked i mean [already clear ppl didn't care abt that]#& again just the current ''polite'' rephrasing of ableism like oh um :) disabled ppl are just a Specific kind of unintelligent & unskilled#& unprofessional & incompetent & a harmful scourge :) & maybe if they learned to be otherwise they wouldn't be punished :)#just formalized ABA vs the less formalized ABA huh. & the [the Real ableism] it ostensibly is to be saying all this i'm sure#something something not a real ally if they encourage behavior that will Make other ppl treat you badly. helpless neurotypicality :(#just as the ppl saying ableism is baked into terms & phrases used casually well beyond the [bad but lol guess not That Bad r word]#were definitely the ones Advancing Ableism by annoyingly overdoing the Polite Veneer you imagine they were Demanding#(rather than a more thorough questioning of language & accepted ''norms'' in pointing out the logics in their usage / basis)#simultaneously as being too much to ask it was also always so Frivolous as to not be worth the apparently infinitesimal effort#hmm guess we'll never solve the contradictions there....#not even with the ''openly saying 'see? i don't take ableism seriously & now it's Your Fault b/c i saw this & scoffed at it''' clues#& a final shoutout to the classic ''it's called being Realistic'' language in this & wherever else relevantly applied lol. we could go on
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insert really specific question asking about one thing you wanna talk about really bad regarding Kyanite
YAYY thanks for asking about Kyanite's general backstory/setup <3 Kyanite was an era 1 gem on homeworld in Blue Diamond's court. To be honest I haven't figured out exacttllyyy what her purpose/job was, kyanites have a medium~higher standing among other gems but not enough for them to be granted pearls or anything. my original thought was to have them as strategists but ehhh ill figure somethin out anyways, Kyanite herself was sent to Earth and was present when Ruby and Sapphire accidentally fused into Garnet! Like all the gems around her, she was shocked- but instead of being disgusted found herself enamored with the idea of fusion between two different gems. Sometime after that experience, she started becoming disillusioned with the diamond authority and eventually snuck away to the Earth's surface in the hopes to join the Crystal Gems. This was before Pink Diamond's shattering but after the fighting became serious. Kyanite hadn't seen the battlefield herself, but did join the fight once she became a Crystal Gem(another thing to think about- what her weapon would be! when I first made her it was a sword but im not really feeling that anymore. thinkin about it) Kyanite wasn't specifically close to any of the main Crystal Gems, but held friendly relationships with all of them :) fusion is one of her main interests and shes always curious about who she and another gem will create... so she likes to fuse with other gems if they're down ^_^ unfortunately, she was caught in the corruption beam alongside with most all the other Crystal Gems. I'm working on her corrupted monster form rn! I presume she was caught bubbled and put in the temple with the others. because I don't fully have her corrupted form figured out, I don't know if I wanna go the route of having an episode about her bubble popping in the temple or the Crystal Gems hunting and bubbling her... I know though that once shes reformed and healed things get more fun! It really depends on the gem she wants to fuse with if the fusions would actually happen, but I've got fusions with most all the main cast rtfyghj for instance, Kyanite + Garnet makes Pietersite! Pietersite is a brilliant strategist but can get stuck in her own head about hypothetical worst outcomes. Then Kyanite + Amethyst makes Kunzite, a party girl with no self preservation. Fusion helps Kyanite learn more about herself and her friends, and is always itching to connect with them in that way.
#asks#mutual oh mutual#welp i didnt answer a really specific question and also didnt really say much despite there being a lot of words#im wanting to give Kyanite some unique experience- maybe traumatic but not like as much as Lapis in the mirror or anything#so she can be more interesting than just a random gem that rebelled because of her newly sparked interest in cross gem fusion#(despite not actually experiencing fusion before rebelling!)#and like shit i would like to have her fuse with a different gem to satisfy her curiosity before rebelling and deciding to change her whole#life over what she saw two different gems that she didnt know(well.. perhaps she knew Sapphire? maybe!)#hmmmmm I wanna implant that into her storryyyyyyyyyyy#but idk who would fuse with herrrr....... some other not-yet-turned crystal gem who needed a push to escape the diamonds#welp! food for thought! maybe that could be some friend or mutuals self insert rtfugyhj#ill probably just end up making an oc or a background gem or somethin
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