#i clean the bathrooms

[john-marshall]

legitimately? my roommate is my soulmate. she and i both know it. we are told by all sorts of people that we’re like a married couple, from how we fight to how we take care of each other. i do love her and she and i have seen each other in some horrible, horrible places. but you know. she’s into women, he’s into men. it’s just not the century for that type of marriage.

[wanologic]

and they were roommates

[spookberry]

I like to headcanon that it was his job to take care of the bathroom fish tank

[cal-is-a-cryptid]

Uhh the mirror is filthy, I’m being so vulnerable right now

[hajihiko]

it's watermelon 🍉

[shushmal]

Steve is loose-limbed and warm, and bone-meltingly satisfied as he slides under the sheets. Clean sheets. Nothing feels better than clean sheets. Clean sheets and his boyfriend, who Steve gets to curl up behind and bury his face into the center of his back. Eddie makes a sound, a happy little hum, and slides his hand along Steve’s arm where it’s wrapped around Eddie’s waist. Laces their fingers together and squeezes.

Bliss.

Until, probably only five minutes later when Steve is just falling asleep, and Eddie jolts upright with a shriek.

“What—?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie wails, and holds the side of his head. “Steve! Oh fuck, Steve!”

“What?” Steve asks, shocked into alertness, heart going from sleepy slow and hammering hard in his chest when Eddie whimpers. “What, what is it?!”

“There’s a bug in my ear!”

Steve, in the process of throwing the blankets off of them, of planning the quickest way to get Eddie down the stairs and out of the house, of mapping the drive to Hopper’s before whatever is happening for the sixth fucking time happens AGAIN—Steve, in the middle of all that, freezes.

“Huh?”

“I felt it! I felt something tickling my ear!”

“Ed,” Steve says slowly. “You have… so much damn hair.”

“It wasn’t hair!” Eddie shrieks.

“Okay, even if it wasn’t,” Steve tries to reason. “It still probably didn’t crawl into your ear.”

“No, I definitely saw a bug while you were in the bathroom, Steve! It was a weird bug!! Oh my god, what if it burrows into my skull! What if it lays worms in my brain?”

“Eddie, baby—”

Eddie looks at him, and there’s honest to god tears in his eyes. “You’re going to dump me because of my brain worms aren’t you?”

And Steve doesn’t stand a chance, and snorts with laughter.

“Stevie!” Eddie wails. “I have brain worms and you’re laughing?! Oh my god!”

“You’re such a dork!” Steve wheezes. He rolls out of the bed and drags Eddie towards the bathroom. “You don’t have brain worms.”

Eddie, still whimpering, obediently hops onto the sink, tilting his head and letting Steve pull his hair to the side, flashlight in hand. “But you would still love me if I did, right?”

“Of course, idiot.” Steve presses a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “Now, hold still, I’m doing worm surgery.”

[smallishbabes]

I love Joel playing up the angry British man during the whole Permitmaster thing. Loved his chicken film and dealing with the melons and his death message kerfuffle just like all of him. Mans always exasperated that’s my hermit lol

[bardnuts]

on reflection, i think getting out of my mom's house and into my own place is going to make me real weird about personal space for a while

[creekfiend]

it's crazy how much more disabled I am when I'm in a flare like... normally I don't think twice about things like standing up and walking into the kitchen or bathroom or whatever. in a flare it's like every single physical action has to be weighed and considered and if I can at all get away with just not doing them it will be better. just sitting up fully to get something from my Chronic Illness Cart a few minutes ago was difficult for me. like. what the fuck. that dynamic disability sure can is be dynamic

[hellbabyfromhell]

something quite interesting happened but i cant tell you with pants on apparently

[bitronic]

his phone doesnt have a screen

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey guys, fun fact that I learned completely randomly and not at all by being scared shitless five minutes ago:

Did you know that if you mix hair bleach and bleach your hair and leave the extra in the bottle with the cap on in case you need extra it will expand until it blows up two days later and covers your bathroom?

Yeah. Well. Now you know.

Not that it happened to me.

@starchasersunseeker @beautyoftheships this is what happens when you leave me alone and wifey goes out.

[winn-wynn]

Percy would run McDonald’s like a navy ship

[seanwinchester]

for the love of god dean let sam pee or don't but- ok i'll stop talking

[tideswept]

So, the good news! I found a new place. Almost packed up, and the cats and I will be on our way on Sunday. (They are very excited and not at all acting like little devils about me packing up our things.)

The bad: I have to start the job hunt from scratch, as the new place is 30 miles away, a couple cities over. Florida, why are you like this.

The bad-bad: I need help again to pay my rent by the first.

My offer to anyone who donates is that I will happily write a fic, provide beta reading, moodboards, or anything else you can think of as a thank you gift. Here’s the current list of upcoming requested fics, so anyone who has given a prompt, you have not been forgotten! (and if you haven’t yet given me a prompt–the offer doesn’t expire. And in case the list hasn’t updated yet, DO remind me!)

Ko-fi

FOR OCTOBER: $550/$850

Your safety, comfort and happiness come first, so please don't worry if you can't donate. And if you'd rather not see this post, #berrybad is the tag you can block, come yell at me if I ever forget it. I will deserve it. 😔

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; afab + gn!reader (they are wearing a dress and lace panties however), unprotected sex / no prep (it's not rought), semi public sex, 18+ | ✮ wc ; 1.4k (?) idek

✮ a/n ; happy late birthday barou. this is crazy horny my bad fr.

Barou is an uptight person.

He doesn't think of himself that way, fucking obviously. But he's been told multiple times throughout his life that that's how he seems. From his teammates to his little sisters to every single media outlet desperately hoping he has more interesting gossip than a change in the babywipe brands he uses.

But Barou is a straight-forward, straight-laced sort of man. He tries to not come home late, keeps all of his promises, and always makes sure he reverses his car when he parks. He doesn't believe in the pull-out method. He always makes sure any physical intimacy he has with anyone comes after they've both been tested.

He's got a life on the line and there's nothing wrong with being careful. Barou is stiff sure, but he's respectful and tidy and takes care of everything because that's how he was raised.

Barou is so terribly uptight. It is, by all means, completely out of character for him to fucking you in the stall of a high-end restaurant bathroom.

Despite himself, and his best interests, and his general good character - he has your cheek pressed into the stall of the bathroom door and two hands on your hips. The tip of his cock is resting against the curve of your ass, pretty lace set underneath the skirt of your dress. You're in the bathroom of somewhere so upscale with your pussy soaking wet.

And Barou is hard out of his fucking mind. It's been like this all-day. From the minute his morning started, you've done nothing but spoil him. A spotless house (cleaned in the way he like), plenty of food, a planned visit to his parents house and a quiet birthday dinner to end the night. All packaged neatly in the warmth of your smile, an eagerness to show off your affection.

He doesn't care to know if you were meaning to seduce him but you did. He spent most of the day half-stiff, sneaking touches in the car and keeping himself at bay with lingering glances.

The gift at the dinner table did it. A thoughtful gift, a leather wallet - practical but not expensive. That set him off, ruined the rest of his remaining patience. He's not verbal enough to confess his undying love to you.

He can, however, please you. He's good at that, and this way - both of you come out of it feeling better. He's uptight but he's tipped the wait staff enough to make sure everyone keeps quiet about being in the bathroom.

And he's strict about the certain policies he enforces.

But you look good with that dress on, the soft curves of your neckline and the slight shake in your thighs when you bend over. Damp, dark material soiled over your pussy - all trembling even though he hasn't done more than kiss and grope you.

It's unusual how much he wants to fuck you. It's a little unbelievable how badly he wants it. He rubs the tip against you, lets it dig between the thin lace - feels how soft and sticky you are without him even touching you. He leans forward a little, picks you up your hips and pulls you in such a way you're grinding on it without actually moving.

He forgets he's this much stronger than you. You yield easily enough, an open-mouth moan leaving your lips. Barou feels a spike of heat run through him, sharp as blood rushes towards his cock so quick he's lightheaded.

"Ridiculous," He rasps, almost exasperated at how deep he's thinking about fucking you "What do you get out of being so good to me?"

"Don't want a-anything," He nudges the tip into your clit just to make you stumble "I just want you to have a good time. Did you?"

Of course he did. How could he not? He doesn't reply, tugging the lace of your panties to one side with a laugh that might sound harsh if you aren't listening close enough.

"I had a good time baby. It was fucking great actual," He says, and it's well-intended. His throat is so thick it almost feels sore. He doesn't remember the last time he was this desperate to fuck you - if he's ever felt this antagonized by your kindness. A good, sweet lover you are.

Gentle reprieve for the ever uptight, ever high-strung Barou. A man of action, of course he wants to fuck you about it. The skin to skin makes his grip on your thighs tighten, he can feel his nails digging into the flesh. The indentations must ache but you don't complain. He'll kiss it better later. Eventually.

Silky and dripping , such a perfect place to drill his cock into. Like it was made for him to be in. Carve a spot for himself out of you with the heavy steel of his shaft. You're so fucking perfect for him. His perfect, sweet angel.

You deserve to be fucked with this much effort at least. Barou wants to stretch you, so he does. He pushes the tip in slowly, reaches his hands out of your tits and squeezes hard. He licks up the side of your neck, kissing your jaw.

"Relax," He offers, as tender as he can be right now "Unless you wanna be sore on the way home."

How ironic he's telling you to relax. If he doesn't pour every ounce of his concentration into stilling - he'd fuck himself into without thinking twice. Fill you the brim, brush your womb and stay there until it remembers who he is. He wants it so bad it almost makes him sick, but he's being stingy enough skipping on more foreplay.

A man of good character doesn't fuck his lover in a shitty bathroom stall. But maybe Barou is learning to relax, because all he can think about is how the acoustics in this tight space do you no favors. He can hears just how soaked you are, can hear every short pant of need - ragged from desire in the walls. How it cumulates in the air until it's too hard to breathe.

You do relax, and Barou rocks his hips slow. You cry out. He laughs, just a little. The adrenaline never stops being addicting.

"Ya like that? Like how that fucking feels? How my," Deeper, another inch pushed into the heat of you "How my cock feels all the way in here?" He presses his palm into the place underneath your tummy.

"Ungh, uh-huh, yes."

He drops his head on your back and shudders. He's going to lose his fucking mind if he isn't more careful. Deeper and harder and faster, you move in tandem until he bottoms out. Barou can feel your ass and hips on his waist and how much they're fucking trembling. He hasn't even fucked you yet, hasn't moved an inch and you're shaking.

It's so cute he could cum right away. How adorable. You're so bubbly and bright and don't think twice about talking back to him when he's being fussy - but you can't keep it together long enough to hold yourself up over his cock. He doesn't know if he could love you anymore.

"Gonna move." He tells, and you nod. Barou starts shallow so you can adjust, but when there's no longer any resistance - he doesn't hesitate in giving it all to you. Every inch of his cock, over and over with an unruly amount of want.

Barou fucks into you hard enough to set motion. It's noisy. The sound of skin hitting skin, of your pussy being stretched over and over - his belt clacking from where it's tucked underneath his cock to give him room. Over all of that is the sound of your voice echoing, soft little whimpers that turn into full-blown cries as he fucks you deeper and deeper - knocking himself into your g-spot so much it's cruel.

He can feel your insides spasm around him before you have a chance to warn him. Tremors in short waves until your hand shoots up to the door - grabbing for something that's not there.

"Shoei," You warn, pitchy and desperate and hot "I'm g-gonna,"

"Cum on my fucking cock," He spits. He needs it more than you do "I'll let you make a mess this time."

Barou watches you fold beneath him. Your form collapses forward and he has to wrap an arm around your waist to keep you up. Your walls tighten and convulse around, milking him for all he's worth. He pushes himself to the hilt before following after you, cumming deep inside with a short groan as he presses a kiss t your shoulder.

"Happy Birthday, Shoei." You mumble, turning your head to look at him with your face all messy. He chuckles.

"Yeah, happy birthday to me."