#i changed her name to Reese now

[voidling-prince]

Teasing alistair is fun

[notjustjavierpena]

The Making of Ellie - Part I: Baby-Making

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This DILF!Joel piece has rotted my brain for 24 hours straight. I have had absolutely no break from thinking about this, and it’s never been easier to write something.

Summary: A look into how you and Joel’s relationship is going two years in. Joel’s POV on his never-ending love for you and his extreme baby fever.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: +18 Smut (MDNI!), Joel’s POV, domesticated Joel Miller, Sarah makes an appearance!!!, tooth-rotting love and fluff, they’re crazy about each other, talk about birth control and ovulation, pussy eating (joel is a cunning linguist), fingering, bit of praise kink, dirty talk, bit of body worship, breeding kink, daddy kink (if you squint real hard), slow and sensual piv sex, intense orgasms, creampie, God they are in love

Word count: 4k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49183051

Song inspiration(!!!): Too Lost In You by Sugababes

Baby-Making

Joel comes home from work around the same time each day now — and it’s never after dinner time. He has made it his mission to make time for Sarah and you, cut down work since you moved in, because two working adults living in the house means that he can slow things down. 

His health has improved, his mood too, his fatigue has practically gone and Sarah has had more time to just be a kid, started playing soccer again, and has even taken up coaching the little league team now that she’s 16. It’s good for him. You are good for him. For both of them. 

He loves it. He takes the afternoon post-work ritual very seriously. Always texts if he should pick something up from the grocery store. Sometimes brings you flowers too, remembering that one time you’d said that you didn’t actually mind the cheap cellophane-wrapped bouquets. 

It’s interesting to him how natural it feels for him to slip right into domestic bliss with you because he never thought that he would get there again after Sarah’s mother. On top of it, he never considered himself a gentle thing, but after you, it’s like you kiss the calluses of him away. He is nothing but gentle now, even in his roughness. 

He throws the keys onto the side table by the front door after arriving home, shrugs off his jacket, and bends down to take off his boots. The sound makes you appear in the doorway. Joel notices that you’ve changed into gray sweatpants and a tank top with a strawberry on it since arriving home, basically removed anything from you that is professional and uncomfortable. Joel loves you like this because he is the only one who gets to enjoy you like this; relaxed and beautiful, hair in a messy bun on top of your head and fuzzy socks on your always-cold feet. He smiles at your radiance, then pads across the floor to kiss you hello. 

There’s something in your eyes; a flicker of mischief as you grab his wrist to look at his watch. With a grin that nearly sets his heart into overdrive, you hold his hand up so he can look at the time too. 

“It’s five minutes past,” you tut.

“Right, but I got ya something,” he says, reluctantly turning away from you to rummage through his jacket pocket. He fishes out a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and you immediately snatch it from his hands, holding it close to your chest.

“Gremlin,” he teases and you stick out your tongue at him, “No needa hide it. ‘S too sweet for me anyway.” 

“I shall save it for later then,” you walk to the kitchen and open the top cabinet that holds the mugs. You stand on your toes to reach into the very back, shirt riding up just a little, and stash the chocolate cup for later consumption.  

“Hidden from Sa-rah, the candy thief,” you purposely pronounce her name wrong for dramatic purposes. Then you lower yourself onto the soles of your feet again, not bothering to pull your top down again. Joel watches the slight reveal of the dimples on your back.

“Right,” he chuckles. 

Dear Lord, he loves you so much that it is ridiculous. In a way that makes the future look better than it ever has because it’s no longer filled with uncertainty. He knows what’s going to happen; he’ll build a house for the three of you, he’ll marry you in the Texan spring and he’ll give you as many babies as you want. He’d do it all today if he could. 

“How was work?” You interrupt his thoughts by wrapping your soft hands around the nape of his neck, resting them there. You have rosy cheeks, feel warm against his skin, with love radiating from your fingertips. 

“Good, told Tommy to handle the next few clients. Some hotshot guy comin’ into the office tomorrow,” Joel tells you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. He thinks that you don’t actually care about any of this, but there’s no indication of boredom on your face.

“He building a castle or something?” You ask. 

“Somethin’ like that. Guy’s filthy rich but not from his own doin’, looking at blueprints at the end of the week. Should be interesting,” he continues, “Not that you care about that.”

“I do actually like hearing about your job,” you kiss him on the lips, peck them repeatedly until he cannot help himself and lifts you up to hug you tight. His arms rest along your back and his hands on your sides, fingers sprawled out underneath where your bra had been in the morning. You must’ve taken it off too. He loves you comfortable. 

“You just love my hands,” he retorts, nose against your cheek, “Don’t deny it. I see right through ya.”

“It’s definitely not completely wrong,” you admit when he sets you down again.

You walk back to the kitchen, too tempted by the knowledge of what is in your kitchen cabinet. You only take half, proclaiming some bullshit that you have to watch out for your blood sugar since one can never know when it’s going to get you.

Joel rolls his eyes, following you, “I can give ya some sugar.”

“Joel Miller!” You pretend to look shocked. He tastes the peanut butter in your mouth, pushes you against the counter. 

“Gross,” a teenage girl’s voice says.

“Oh right, Sarah’s home,” you announce sheepishly.

Joel pulls away to look at his daughter, “Hey kiddo. How was school?”

“You don’t care about that,” she smirks, “But if you must know, it was fine. No homework.” 

“That don’t sound like Mrs. uhhh��”

“Green, it’s Ms. Green, Dad,” Sarah says dramatically as she moves across the floor to put on shoes. Her tone turns taunting, “Go ahead and make out with your girlfriend. I’m going to soccer practice.”

“Have fun, Sarah! We’ll have dinner ready,” you chime in. 

“See ya, honey.”

The door closes behind her. The house grows quiet for a moment, but then the mischief is back in your eyes, “She’s seeing a boy.”

Joel nearly gets whiplash, not sure why his pulse spikes. He trusts his daughter to make good decisions and has taught her how since she was just a baby, “Nah, she ain’t. Just said she’s going to soccer practice.”

“Joel,” you sigh loudly, “It’s Tuesday.”

“So?”

“She has practice on Thursdays.” 

“Christ,” he runs a hand over his stubble, tries to keep his composure, and ignores the urge to send her a text. 

“But you know what?” You’re back in his personal space, tugging at his arms to make him hold you close again, “Such a fun coincidence. I’m also seeing a boy.”

Joel can feel the tension seeping out of him in an instant.

“Really? ‘Cause I’m seein’ a girl. She’s real pretty,” he wishes that he could show his past self how tooth-rottingly sweet he is being with you because he’d hate it. Though if past-Joel found out who he was treating like this, he’d instantly become a goner just like present-Joel is now. 

“‘S her sweet tooth, unhinged behavior that I love the most though,” he continues. 

You whine in his arms, lean your head back and it earns you a kiss on your neck, “Don’t be like that. Not when I’m ovulating. I’ll climb you like a tree.”

Oh.

Oh.

It may seem innocent but Joel knows this is how you play dirty. It suddenly explains a lot. The sweatpants, the rosy cheeks, the way you glow, no bra, the cravings, why Joel wants you so bad.

Joel wouldn’t say that he is controlled by biology, and he hates the men trying to argue their way out of acting like cavemen. But looking at you right now in your stupid strawberry tank top, knowing that you’re horny and ready because your body wants to make him a daddy... Joel’s head swims. 

Something shifts in the air. You can see it on him, but Joel assumes that you wait for him to act on whatever is bubbling up in his chest and below his belt.

And act, he does. He distracts you with deep, long kisses until he can snatch you up from the ground and carry you upstairs. You squeak out a giggle but don’t fight back, enjoying the freedom of being alone with him.

“That’s why you’re so fucking sexy,” Joel says after placing you on your shared bed. He is already shedding himself of his shirt, undressing hurriedly to get close to your skin with his own as quickly as possible.

You crawl back on the bed, untying the strings of your sweatpants and yanking them down your legs. You match his urgency, but still decide to tease him, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Shut your mouth,” he yanks the rest of your pants off as soon as he is naked in front of you. He throws them in the pile of his own clothes, “You know exactly what I’m talking about, dirty girl.”

You’re just about to take your top off before Joel stops you with a hand curled around the hem. He knows you’re sensitive at this point in your cycle, but it’s not why he wants to keep it on, “I love how cute you are in this shirt. Keep it on like this.” 

He crawls properly onto the bed to demonstrate and tugs the shirt up over your tits so he can still see the stupid animated fruit on the front. Afterward, he tugs your panties down your legs and off your feet. He will swear to a higher power that he can even smell it on you, sweet like strawberries and honey between your legs and it makes him feel like an animal. 

He has had baby fever for a while now, even told you his plans on giving you a whole bunch of babies and you’ve merely giggled at him, especially when he told you that twins don’t run in his family, but he is sure that nature will give him a whole litter with you. 

“Want me to eat you out?” He asks to which you whimper and nod. He doesn’t give you what you want right then and there, instead climbs up to cradle your head in his hands and gives you a long, slow kiss. He sucks on your tongue, hums into your mouth, and gets you worked up and wet before he’ll treat you right. 

“Tell me,” he says when he breaks the kiss, nosing along the bunched-up fabric of his new favorite top of yours. He sucks at the skin between your breasts, places open-mouthed kisses along the swell of the left whilst cupping the right. 

“I want you to eat my pussy,” you moan softly, running a hand over his hair as he licks a nipple. You slide your fingers into it, but you don’t tug at it unless you feel like you need to hold onto it for dear life. 

“God, you’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he growls before going further down your body, his spit leaving a shine where his mouth has been, “Can’t believe I own these tits.”

He goes further down, lets out a satisfied noise when he can see between your legs, “—and this pussy.” 

“Yes, it’s yours, fuck, baby,” you sound delirious already, happy and eager to be touched, on the verge of a giggle even, “Joel, need your mou—“

You gasp loudly into the quiet bedroom. Joel has covered you with his mouth, eyes almost rolling back into his skull at the taste of your ripe cunt. He is too lost in you, a complete idiot with how head over heels he is for you, and he shows it by devouring you like he is starved. 

“Baby!” You cry out, sensitive, “Fuuuck— just like that!”

He watches your thighs twitch in his peripheral, holds you down by placing a strong hand just below your belly button, and uses his thumb on said hand to pull the hood of your clit back. He sucks the little now-hard nub into his mouth, sending you into a state where he is unsure if you can even sense the sheets underneath you. If you had superpowers, he surely would’ve made you lift off the bed as if you were possessed. 

He bobs his head a little, probably looking obscene as he hums against your clit and wiggles his head too. He looks up at you through his lashes, sees the red flush on your chest, and knows that you are close. Christ, he hasn’t been this into someone before. 

“I’m gonna— you’re gonna make me—“ you say like always, announcing your departure from reality. He keeps going, feeling your stomach jump in a stuttering manner underneath his palm with how uneven your breathing has become. 

“Fuck, I’m coming!” You sob with a yank of Joel’s hair and suddenly your thighs are shaking violently without your control. Joel can feel you coming before you announce it, your cunt clenching rapidly against his lips and your clit pulsing in his mouth as he sucks your folds into his mouth. You taste so good as a gush on slick smears his lips and chin even more. He laps it up.

You push him away when he gets too much, and he turns his head to kiss your inner thigh. You finally release the giggle that you’ve been suppressing, drunk on dopamine and Joel falls in love with you a bit more. 

“You’re fucking incredible,” you say. The hand in his hair slides down so you can affectionately run your knuckles over his cheek. He responds by gently rubbing your thighs, soothing you on top of putting such strain on your heart and your breath. You hum, “I love you so much.”

Without warning, he smacks your thigh and you sit up straight. He grins, “Love ya too, sweetheart. Think you can give me one more before I fuck ya?”

“Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” You ask genuinely as you lower onto your back again. 

“Wanna fuck a baby into you,” he replies, voice an octave lower than normal. He senses your shiver without having to look at your face, “Please. Wanna get her red and puffy so it fucking sticks.” 

You let out an involuntary moan at the idea. You want this as much as him, he hopes, and he slides two fingers into your neglected pussy whilst he waits for the green light to fill you up. He crooks them upwards, fingers the spongy spot that only seems to have been discovered by him, “Lemme in. Lemme come in you.”

You’ve been off the pill for a while with the reasoning that it wasn’t doing any good for your body. Joel had stocked up on condoms since then, actually filled the top drawer of his nightstand to the brim because honey, we’re young and healthy, red-blooded Americans. But it had planted the idea in his mind that he could potentially knock you up, and suddenly the stash of condoms was being used rapidly. 

“Okay,” you say with a half-moan, “Fuck, okay.”

Joel immediately sits up on his knees, still fucking you open on his hand. You squirm underneath his touch, trying to get a hold of your breathing this time, holding eye contact with him as he drags another orgasm from you. 

It is much less hurried and a lot more intense, muscles clamping down on his digits rhythmically as you bite your lip and close your eyes with a soft gasp. He can’t decide if he finds this more sexy. 

“Did you mean it?” He asks as he trails kisses up your belly. He kneels between your legs and places an elbow on either side of your chest so he can hold both your breasts in his hands. He squeezes them together, sucks on a nipple until you sigh deeply, and then watches them bounce back into place. 

“Yes,” you say and your voice doesn’t sound unsure at all, “Fuck yes, I want your babies. Wanted them since I saw you. Want you to make me a mommy.”

“The prettiest momma out there,” he says, euphoria evident on his face. He slides his arms underneath you, rests his head on your breasts, and hugs you close to his chest, “Wanna fuck ya.”

“Please,” you say softly, spreading your legs open for him but he has other plans. He releases you from his arms to sit up again, spreading his knees a little. His hands wrap around your ankles to lift your legs up onto his shoulders, your feet behind his ears. He leans over you afterward and bends your flexible legs backward until the front of his thighs are against the back of yours. He can go deep like this, fill you up with his come how he has wanted to for months.

He takes hold of his cock, eases it inside of your spent and warm cunt inch by inch. You feel incredible around his dick without a piece of rubber separating the two of you. He can feel the head of his dick nudge at your cervix, moaning quietly as he is engulfed by your wet, pulsating heat. 

“How are you still so fucking tight?” He groans, resting his forehead against your calf as he gives you a moment to adjust to the stretch. He knows he is big, gets a thrill out of how well you take him each time as if you were made specifically for him. There had been one time where he’d called you a trooper, and you had laughed so hard with his dick inside you that it had made him come. 

“You feel so big like this,” you say as you look down between the two of you, already sounding out of breath. Joel kisses your calf repeatedly and softly, trying to soothe your overwhelmed body. 

“Goddamn. You’re so sexy,” he praises, placing both hands on the sides of your head so he is hovering above you. He finds your hazy eyes, “Look at you.” 

He gives an experimental roll of his hips that makes you whimper, both hands reaching for the backs of his knees. You hold onto him, staring up into his eyes with that siren-like look in them, and then you moan softly.

Joel starts fucking you desperately at that. He doesn’t hurry though, keeps his hips’ movements slow and sensual to have you moaning and gasping ever so slightly at the intensity. He knows he could just give in and fuck you rough and fast, but the heavy-lidded gaze that you are giving him with your mouth hanging open is too good to spoil. 

“Joel,” you cry but it’s barely audible compared to what he sometimes drags from you. He can feel your nails dig into the flexing muscles of his thighs, creating half-moon shapes in the flesh. He switches to a rocking motion, and it sends your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You moan with your bottom lip between your teeth, “Mhm—“

“I know, baby, let it out,” he can see your pulse jumping wildly underneath the sensitive skin of your neck, feeling the heat of his orgasm pool at the base of his spine. He needs to be closer to you. 

“Lift your legs down to the sides,” he tells you gently, thrusts coming to a halt and him realizing that you’ve heard absolutely nothing. He repeats himself, waits for you to follow his instructions, and then hooks his arms underneath your knees. 

Joel gets closer to you by resting his weight on his elbows, his own body on top of your slightly contorted one. You reach for him, grabby hands in the air until he allows himself to be pulled in for a kiss. You cradle his face, make him feel safe in your arms. 

“I love you, baby,” he breathes deeply. The new position gives him an opportunity to reach deeper inside of you, and it’s accompanied by each upward snap of his pelvis causing his cockhead to push into your g-spot. It makes it difficult for you to continue kissing him, eventually simply breathing into his mouth as he has you speared on his dick. Never once do you let go of his face, thumbs on his cheekbones, and tip of your nose against his. 

“I love you,” you whisper, unable to catch your breath. Joel can feel your walls flutter around his dick, threatening to pull his own climax from him too soon. You pant, eyes burning, “You— baby, shit… you’re gonna make me come.”

“Yeah?” He speeds up a little, carding a hand through your hair and gently tugging on the bun. He coaxes you, “Gonna milk my cock into you? Make me a daddy?”

“Yeah,” you whimper wantonly, tightening your legs into his sides as you try moving with him, “Yeah, baby. Gonna make you a daddy! Fuckfuckfuck. Ah— I’m, I—“

Joel doesn’t know if he’s ever made you come like this; without all the muscle and rough touches, without the fast-paced snaps of his hips and the foul taunting from his mouth of how dirty you are. But come you do, with your brows furrowed, gaze on his and a controlled breathing that suddenly becomes erratic and uneven after you let out a high-pitched cry. 

“That’s it,” he admires you, “So good f’me.”

You clamp down on his cock so hard that he sees stars, fucks you through each convulsion of your cunt. His mouth drips with filth as he works himself toward his own pleasure, “You make me so fucking horny, baby. Wanna knock— ngh, wanna knock this pretty pussy up all the time. Give ya a whole fuckin’ litter.”

He tips over the edge not long after, heart pounding in his chest and the sensation in his balls tightening. He releases with a groan, settles deep inside of you to make sure he doesn’t waste a single drop. His orgasm pulses through his cock, swirls in his belly, and warms the small of his back. 

“Fuuuck,” he pants. He carefully removes his arms from underneath your legs before he collapses, allowing you to stretch out underneath him. You look completely fucked out, gasping feebly as he teasingly gives you another thrust before pulling out. 

You wrap your arms around him as he falls onto you, nose against the shell of his ear. He can barely lift his head when you speak, humming into your neck that vibrates as you talk, “You think other people have sex this good?”

“Nah, ‘s why everyone is so fuckin’ miserable, why they gotta build mansions with their parents’ money,” he murmurs. 

“Stop thinking about the hotshot client in bed,” you tease as you cradle his head in your arms, lifting your legs to wrap them around his waist. It seems you cannot get close enough, “You should only think about sticky, sweaty me.”

Joel finds that he doesn’t care about sticky, sweaty skin and you feeling like a furnace after three orgasms. He lays with you like this for a while, sure that you’ve drifted off to sleep at one point, until you push at his shoulder, voice back to your normal pitch as the post-orgasmic bliss has faded slowly, “Gotta pee.” 

“Sure,” he rolls off of you. The sight of your waddle to the bathroom makes him smile, eyes following the way the fleshiest part of your ass and thighs jiggle with each step. 

When you’ve closed the door behind you, Joel finds the strength to rid the bed of the dirty sheets and start dressing again. He’ll have a shower before bed, he decides, ignoring the sensitivity of sliding on boxers and jeans again. 

Hurriedly, he bounces down the stairs to the kitchen. He gets the rest of your peanut butter cup, places it on the nightstand with your clothes right beside it. 

He checks the time. There’s no point in trying to cook something up for dinner if Sarah is home from ‘practice’ soon, so he goes down into the kitchen to order pizza, heart thrumming in his chest as he hears you shout a thank you from upstairs at the discovery of the other half of your favorite snack. He is happy. So so happy.

Especially as he writes ‘pregnancy test’ into his Notes app shopping list.

.

.

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[mynameismckenziemae]

All of Me

Part 14

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: You hire a nurse and Jake takes you on a real date.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, teasing, exhibitionism, handjob, oral sex, (m receiving), etc. This chapter also has discussion of domestic violence/abuse, please message me if you have any questions prior to reading.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

The next few days are busy for you and Jake both. Feeling like two ships passing in the night, with only having lunch once and a few texts here and there. But you’ve made plans to spend the weekend together again.

You smile as his name appears on your phone.

Jake: Our hop was rescheduled to this morning, lunch with me and Bradshaw today?

Reese: 👍🏻 I’m interviewing a nurse at 11:00, usually takes 30-45 minutes.

Jake: Perfect, we’ll grab lunch on the way to your office.

Jake: Do you have anything planned for tonight? Can I take you out?

You snort as you realize you two haven’t actually been on a date yet.

Reese: I’d like that. Maybe I’ll even put out if you’re good.

Jake: I’ll be on my best behavior.

Reese: Quit crossing your fingers.

Jake: I’m not.

Jake:…anymore.

Reese: 😐

Jake: Gotta go, we’re suiting up. See you in a bit.

Reese: 😘

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“Hi, you must be Shae,” you smile as you shake the hand of your third interviewee. “I’m Reese, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” she replies.

“Please,” you gesture to the chairs across your desk, “have a seat.”

The sunlight catches her pretty face as she sits, making your stomach turn as you notice the yellow under her eye of a healing bruise.

While she did a good job of concealing it, it’s all you can see as she hands you her impressive resume.

“I also have letters of recommendation from my nursing instructor and a few of the doctors I’ve worked with,” she hands them over too, cheeks flushing.

A quick overview of the information provided shows she’s an excellent nurse and her answers to your questions are well-spoken and appropriate.

Her calm, gentle demeanor is like a breath of fresh air in this often-hectic environment filled with loud, testosterone-fueled men.

“Well, I’ve seen enough,” you smile, “you can expect to from HR soon for the formal offer,” you continue. But your brow furrows slightly when you glance down again at her resume, “Oh, is this current?”

She pales as her hands begin to twist nervously in her lap, “Yes, it’s current.”

“It’s okay,” you reply softly, her anxiety palpable, “HR will ask why it has been 2 years since you worked last. What should I tell them?”

A haunted look crosses her face before she dissociates, looking out the window blankly. “My husb-I mean, ex-husband…he didn’t want me to work.”

You nod as you piece together where the black eye came from. “Shae?”

She flinches slightly as her eyes snap to yours.

“I’m just going to tell them it was due to family reasons,” you say, watching her sag in relief. “Are you safe though?”

“I am,” she replies hesitantly as she brushes the slight discoloration under her eye, “I am now. He’s…a few hours away, and I got a dog.”

“Okay,” you reply with a small smile as you reach for a pen and notepad.

You know it’s unprofessional, but a little voice in her mind tells you she needs someone in her corner as you write down your number and hand it to her.

“Here’s my number if that changes okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers, before meeting your eye. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you reply, rising to your feet. “Hope to see you again soon.”

“I hope so too,” she smiles genuinely for the first time.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“HR will be in touch soon,” you tell Shae as you escort her from your office, smiling at Jake and Bradley approaching down the hall. “Have a good weekend.”

“Thanks, you too,” she replies, following your eyes, blushing when Roo flashes her a grin before ducking her head and rushing off.

“Who was that?” Roo asks, nearly breaking his neck as he watches her walk away.

“Hopefully my new nurse, Shae,” you reply, stepping aside to let Jake in, who presses a kiss to your lips as he drops a package of peanut butter cups in your scrub pocket.

“Wow,” Roo says, smiling again when she glances back, “she’s…” he trails off, seemingly speechless for the first time since you’ve known him, “really fucking pretty. Is she single?”

You laugh, rolling your eyes at his choice of words as you follow him into your office.

“She is,” you reply, hesitating before you continue. The last thing you want to do is betray her trust, yet he needs to understand why pursuing her isn’t a good idea. “Newly though. Sounds like she’s recently divorced and I don’t think it was a good situation.”

“How so?” Jake asks, handing you your lunch.

“I asked about the gap in her employment history and she said he didn’t want her to work,” you answer, “but I think he didn’t allow her to.”

“Why not?” Bradley asks.

“I’m not sure,” you reply, “men like that are usually paranoid and want complete control.”

“Men like what?” Jake asks quietly.

“Men that beat up women,” you answer, watching as his eyes close at your words. “She covered it up well, but she’s healing from a black eye.”

“Fuck,” Bradley curses, shaking his head, “is she okay? Is he around still?”

“I think so,” you reply, looking at Jake who’s now white-knuckling his fork, “she said he lives a few hours away and has a dog. I gave her my number too, and told her to let me know if she needs anything.”

“Okay, good,” Bradley says, noticing Jake too. “Hey, you okay?”

Jake releases the breath he’s holding, opening his eyes as he sets down his fork. “There’s nothing I hate more than men that lay hands on women.”

You and Bradley both nod in agreement as you wait for him to go on.

“My dad…he used to beat up on my mom,” he continues, looking down at his lunch. “He was mean as hell so me and my little brother avoided him, and he was thankfully gone a lot for work. I was around Drew’s age when I started noticing she had a lot of bruises and split lips and it was always around the time he was home. Woke up one night to a crash in the living room, he had hit my ma so hard she fell into the glass end table.”

“Oh Jake,” you whisper, tears filling your eyes as you reach over, placing your hand on his while Bradley squeezes his shoulder.

“Her eye was already swollen shut and her hands were all cut up but she told me to go back to bed…and I just lost it. I don’t really remember, I think I launched myself at him, and he backhanded me so hard my ears rang. My ma always took the abuse so that was the first time he ever hit me and the last. We left the next morning. Never saw that fucker again.”

Now you know why Jake never talked about his dad, just his mom and younger brother, Matt.

“I’m so sorry man,” Bradley says while you nod.

“I’m okay now,” Jake sighs, finally looking up at you, “Mom made us go to therapy and it helped, but hearing about it still makes me so fucking angry.”

“I get it,” you say, “I hope she doesn’t need it, but she has my number now.”

“I’ll keep my distance too,” Bradley says, “well, I mean I’ll talk to her if she’s around 'cause that’d be dickish but I won’t like, flirt with her. Wait-should I? I don’t want her to think there’s something wrong with her because I’m not-“

You can’t help but smile; Roo has always been so cool and smooth with women so you’re enjoying the way he’s second-guessing himself.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

Bradley does a good job of lightening the mood and soon the lunch hour is over.

“I’ll be over around 6,” Jake murmurs before kissing your cheek, “should I pack a bag?”

“Yes, bring your laundry over too,” you reply, leaning in so Bradley doesn’t overhear, “I’m not letting you out of my sight this weekend.”

“Alright, alright. Get a room,” Bradley scoffs.

“I have one,” you tease, “you’re in it.”

“Ha-ha,” he rolls his eyes. “Come on, lover boy. We better go get our post-flight docs done.”

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

Jake rings the doorbell like he hasn’t already spent the night several times, handing you a bouquet of daffodils when you open the door.

He holds your hand in the comfortable silence of the drive and you light up when you see where he’s taking you.

“The drive-in movie theater? I’ve always wanted to go to one of these,” you smile as he parks.

“You’ve never been?” He asks, continuing when you shake your head, “Me either.”

You settle in while he gets popcorn and he’s back just as The Shining begins to play.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

The sun sets halfway through the movie and you snuggle into his shoulder after setting aside the half-eaten popcorn.

There are vehicles on both sides, but the darkness and the blanket draped over you two give the illusion of privacy to trail your fingers over his thigh.

His leg tenses under your touch but you pretend not to notice when he looks down to see what you’re up to.

Eventually, he relaxes, and his attention returns to the movie, you strike. You kiss his neck and he’s already hard as your fingers slide over his groin to undo the button then the zipper, giving him a slow stroke once you pull him out.

“Can you be quiet for me?” You murmur against his skin, just like he did to you when Bradley was asleep just steps away.

He nods his head once and you get to work, jerking him steadily. Precum eases the glide of your movements as you kiss up his neck to his ear.

“Tell me when you’re close,” you whisper, smiling at his soft, strangled groan. He thinks you’re going to stop.

Your hand begins to move faster on his cock; as you want to draw this out, the movie is nearing the end.

His hips start to thrust up into your strokes as he grits out, “Close-I’m close.”

“K, stay quiet,” you nip his jaw before ducking below the blanket to suck him into your mouth.

“Fuck!” He wheezes, jerking when you moan at the taste of his cum filling your mouth before swallowing it greedily.

His hand snakes below the blanket, and you squeak in surprise when he tugs you out by your hair to meet your lips in a deep, bruising kiss.

The way he groans from tasting himself on your tongue sends another pulse of heat between your already slick thighs.

“I need to touch you, taste you, be inside you,” he murmurs against your lips, “let’s go hom-back to your place.”

Even in the dark, his cheeks pinken with the Freudian slip.

“Let’s go,” you agree, smiling as you realize it’s felt more like home than ever since he’s been staying over.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

A/N: this chapter was kind of all over the place…fun in the beginning, a little heart breaking when we meet Shae and then find out a little more about Jake, then an official date and a little smut ending with some sweetness.

I haven’t decided for sure, but I may end up tandem writing Bradley and Shae’s story while finishing up this one.

Also, Shae and Bradley’s story will be dedicated to my sister, who nearly lost her life in a domestic violence assault with her ex-husband.

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in the comments/reblogs!

Please let me know if you want to be added to (or removed from) my taglist!

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[rocknroll7575]

Jaune Ending (Guardian Ghost AU)

Here's the Jaune Ending (I'll be doing the other endings as well in separate posts)

~~~~~~~~

Jaune Arc, now 26 years old, walked slowly toward the cliffs near Beacon's emerald forest, each step triggering memories of his initiation. A nostalgic smile crossed his face as he recalled those early days of his adventure.

Jaune's appearance had changed significantly since then. His once pristine white and gold armor was now rusted and battle-worn. His hair had grown long, tied back in a practical ponytail, revealing the passage of time.

As he walked, he felt the gaze of several eyes upon him. Glancing back, he saw students peering out from the cafeteria windows, their faces pressed against the glass, watching the legendary huntsman. Though he could meet his admirers later, there were more pressing matters at hand.

Reaching the cliff, Jaune came upon a row of gravestones, each one adorned with the emblems of the fallen and surrounded by offerings of flowers, food, and drinks. These graves honored those who had died in the long war against Merlot, a tribute to their bravery and sacrifice.

Jaune knelt and began to read each name, letting the memories flood back:

Pyrrha Nikos, Bart Oobleck, May Zedong, Yatsuhashi Daichi, Cinder Brair, Cardin Winchester, Summer Rose, Nora Valkyrie, Glynda Goodwitch, Mercury Black, Qrow Branwen, Lie Ren, Weiss Schnee, Velvet Scarlatina, and Reese Chloris.

Every name evoked a rush of emotions and vivid recollections. Despite the pain of their loss, Jaune found solace in the happy memories he had shared with each of them, no matter how brief. Those small moments of joy and laughter, of battles fought side by side, brought him a sense of peace.

"I see you're back this year as well," a familiar voice said softly.

Jaune turned to find Arslan standing a few feet away, her expression tinged with sorrow. Her presence was a comforting reminder of the bonds they still shared.

Jaune smiled warmly at her. "Arslan, it's good to see you," he replied. "Are the others not here?"

Arslan shook her head. "Ruby and Yang are tied up with business involving the new council, and Nolan, Fox, and Coco are on a mission with their own students, something urgent with the Atlas council came up, so Kobalt and Ciel had to stay in the kingdom, and Neon's running a little late because she and her son got on the wrong Bullhead," she explained.

"So it's just us for now, huh?" Jaune asked, a hint of melancholy in his voice.

Arslan nodded.

Jaune placed a flower on each of the graves, taking his time with each one. When he finished, he let out a heavy sigh, the weight of loss pressing down on him. Arslan stepped closer, standing beside him as they both gazed at the graves. Their focus naturally gravitated to the markers of their own teammates who had fallen.

"You know," Arslan began, her voice tinged with nostalgia, "I miss the days when we were just two teams, dealing with teenage drama and getting into the most insane situations..."

Jaune nodded, a wistful smile on his face. "I feel the same," he said softly. "Everything... was just so much simpler back then,"

Arslan smirked, a playful glint in her eyes. "Well, not exactly simple, you had a dead wizard in your head, remember?"

Jaune chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. "Yeah, okay, you got me there."

After their shared laughter faded, a contemplative silence settled over them as they continued to gaze at the gravestones.

"I don't like being stuck in the past," Arslan said after a moment. "Pyrrha... Weiss... They sacrificed themselves so we could have a future,"

Jaune nodded thoughtfully. "May, Cardin, Reese... they all wanted me to keep moving forward, to create a future where I could be happy, and I think it's time to do just that,"

Arslan raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "How so?" she asked.

Jaune shrugged, a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't know exactly... but I think I know where to start." He turned to look at her, a smile forming on his lips. "Arslan?"

"Yeah?"

"You doing anything after work?"

Arslan shook her head, intrigued by the sudden shift in his demeanor. "No, why?"

Jaune took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "Would you... maybe want to grab a bite to eat? Just the two of us?"

Arslan's eyes widened in surprise before her expression softened into a warm smile. "I would love that," she replied. "Nothing fancy though, right?"

Jaune chuckled and nodded. "Nothing fancy... just something fast and greasy," he said with a grin.

Arslan gave him an approving nod. "Good," she replied. "Now then, I think you have some fans waiting for you," she added, gesturing toward the group of students watching from a distance.

Jaune sighed good-naturedly. "Better get it over with," he said, smiling.

As Jaune and Arslan walked back toward Beacon, both felt a renewed sense of hope and warmth within their souls. Jaune glanced back at the graves one last time, and to his amazement, he saw the familiar faces of those he had lost. Reese, Ozma, Cardin, May, and even Salem stood there with soft smiles and expressions of peace.

Ozma and Salem stood hand in hand, both beaming at him. Cardin smirked and flashed a peace sign. May smiled softly, mouthing "I love you." Finally, Reese stepped forward, her smile the brightest of them all. She looked at him and said, "See... everything's alright, keep moving forward, to your future,"

A tear rolled down Jaune's cheek as he sniffled, taking in the sight of his friends and mentors one last time. "Thank you," Jaune said quietly. "I'll make sure to live the future you gave me, for me... and for all of you,"

With a final nod to the past, Jaune turned back around and continued to follow Arslan toward the school that had once been his home. He was ready to embrace the future, determined to honor the memories of those he had lost by living a life full of hope, love, and new beginnings.

[captaincapsicle83]

Iron Man

The Avenger series, part 2

Tw: cursing, Tony not following directions

Previous Part

"Dude, you're like a million years old-"

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but I'm a billion! And your closer to zero. You're a baby. Added with the fact that I'm ten times as important as you-"

"Ten times zero is still zero."

"Not the point."

"I just wanna name it," you whined. Tony rolled his eyes, clearly baffled at your audacious manner.

"I picked an acronym before you were even born," He shakes his head, holding up the glasses frames in front of his face, not putting them on.

"Yeah? When?"

"September 21st, of..." He hesitated. "Of 19...93."

"Well, genuis, I was born in 1992-!"

"So me picking the name in the year of 1991 proves me right-!"

"You liar!" You exclaimed. "JARVIS, play back what Tony just said."

Before Tony can object, the ceiling emits his voice, "Of 19...93."

"JARVIS, you're being evicted," was Tony's response. "Pack your things. You're getting uploaded to a surf shop in Daytona Beach."

You laugh, taking the glasses from Tony and putting them into their case.

You were something of an accomplice to Tony's "Iron Man" shtick. You were what he called a "trainee," meaning you didn't fight anybody like Tony did. You practiced, though, and not just in a suit. You did end up giving Tony a black eye, Pepper freaking out over press stuff due to it.

"We can't send you in front of hundreds if people, or broadcast you to millions, if you looked like you run an underground fight club," Pepper exclaimed, pulling his head to the side with a grip on his chin. She looks at you all accusatory like, "You did this?"

"Cool right," you giggle, and pretend to bop Tony on the side of the face again. Peppers eyes roll before she stalks away, heels clicking.

"I'm her favorite," you say as she walks away.

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

☆☆☆

You sat on a gray couch, wearing pajamas and eating a bowl of cereal. A peanut butter reeses brand version of cocoa puffs. It tasted like heaven.

"Iron Man," Tony mumbled, reading a newspaper, standing behind you with Pepper. "Hey, that's kinda catchy."

"Thanks, I came up with it," you say, taking a bite of your cereal. Pepper was doing Tony's "makeup" since he had another bruise on his face, and also, the planned press conference scheduled for today was being broadcasted "everywhere."

Probably not in lesser fortunate countries, but you didn't mention that to Pepper. You wanted to stay the "favorite."

On the TV in front of you, the news was playing. You found the news to be exhausting, and quite morally wounding, but you were to lazy to find the remote and change the channel. You wished you could be watching literally anything else though. You had quite a liking for American children's shows. And Hannah Montana was on at this hour, maybe even SpongeBob.

Tony is given a speech, which he looks over as Pepper thanks Agent Coulson.

You wouldn't. The guy ate the last donut this morning, and he doesn't even live here.

As Pepper and Coulson walk out, you turn around in your seat to look at Tony.

"You aren't gonna read that, are you?" You say, crunching the last bites of your cereal.

"Of course I am, who do you take me for," He winks at you. "Now finish your cereal, and get dressed, we have ninety seconds before we have to be out there, and you look like a bum."

"I'm a squatter, it's the New York in me."

"The only 'New York' in you is Venice Pizza."

"And yet, I'm living in Iron Mans house rent free," you say, putting a false wistful look on your face, as Pepper is walking back into the room.

"He's not Iron Man," she shakes her head.

"Is so," you retaliate, walking away, tilting up your bowl to drink the milk out of it.

"You know, I'm starting to belive I'm not Iron Man," Tony says thoughtfully.

"You're not," Pepper scoffs. "And I'm starting to believe I'm raising two children. Y/n! You better come back out here dressed!"

☆☆☆

"And now, Mr. Stark will be making a statement," A man onstage says. You're on the sidelines with Pepper. You follow her lead, clapping when she does. Smiling when she does.

You were a star student. Have a star.

☆

You knew what was coming though. Oh boy, Pepper wasn't gonna be Happy. And, well, the head of security, who really was Happy, wasn't exactly gonna be a basket of roses himself.

But when was he ever?

"-To consider that I am a superhero."

Fuck up number one; they never said he was a superhero. You sucked in a breath, knowing the house of cards was about to fall.

As Tony stumbled over his words, a soldier whispered in his ear. Maybe something taboo, or maybe to read his cards. Guess the world will never know...

You have to bow your head, as you were already laughing. You felt Pepper smack you shoulder.

"The truth is..."

You pulled in another large breath, looking at Pepper to show you had composed yourself.

"I am Iron Man."

[moonlight-collective]

welcome to our plural focused sideblog. we'll try to keep our thoughts somewhat organized here. allow us to introduce ourselves proper, by name, text color (if applicable), pronouns, and any note we want to give. I will try to give general descriptions but they will likely change if the individual sees fit

Aros - he/they - I primarily run this blog. I will not take a text color as you can assume it's me unless otherwise stated.

Luna - she/they/sea/it - Host

Reese - he/they

Ivy - she/they - Primary caregiver

Nova - they/she - Primary protector

Envy - she/her - fusion of Ivy and Nova, takes care of our syskids specifically

Renn - any - Primary protector

Emily - she/her - Primary caregiver

that is all of us that would like to be introduced for now, do check in for updates in the future.

[feronaville]

im deep down on megamassikalove's blog cc shopping n saw her participate in an ask game thingie n i wanna do it too even tho its like a year old LMAOO bc it looks fun n i rarely see them on my dash!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? old age ,, boring answer but i love my sims man they my babies fr any other death genuinely upsets me

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? maxis match altho i do sorta uhh maxis mix i think it's called sometimes, really i download whatever i like (mostly maxis match) i just want everything in simlish fr

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? i like when my sims gain weight bc that's how i get my body diversity but if their outfit doesnt have fat morph n i dont wanna change their outfit i do cheat it sometimessss but not very often

4. Do you use move objects? move objects is enabled in my game alwayss

5. Favorite mod? honestly im not sure! im def a big acr fan but that's just the first one that comes to mind, there's soooo many must haves imo!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? both sims 2 pets n sims 2 seasons! my auntie bought them for us, i got soooo excited about pets n lil ol me asked her, "woah can we get monkeys??" LMAOO

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? i pronounce it like aLIVE

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? REESE BULLARD!! he was in my very first bacc years ago, he had more personality than any of my other sims ever had he was so silly

9. Have you made a simself? i have! i made one in sims 2 back in like 2018 but she didnt look like me fr haha, i made one some years ago in sims 4 n she actually looked a lotttt like me but i have lost all her pics unfortunately. now i just have a sim in one of my current 'hoods that's named after me

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? dang if only i knew myself better fr ,, hmmmm ima say animal lover, loves the outdoors, artistic, childish, socially awkward. maybe

Which is your favorite EA hair color? hmm i don't think i have one? i'll just say red

Favorite EA hair? i don't see ea hair in my game fr anymore but as a kid i think my favorite one was meg i think

Favorite life stage? im not sure honestly! i might have to go with child, or adult idk tbh

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? i only started getting into building fr last year i think, building is a struggle for me but i really enjoy it! i think i'm def more of a gameplay person tho i just feel pretty restricted building for sims 2

Are you a CC creator? i am! pretty much just recolor things but i wanna try my hand at making terrains to share, and i'm slowly starting to upload lots n want to upload sims as well. i've made splash music and loading screens too, kinda wanna get back into doing that actually

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i consider @gir-sims to be my friend! yall should check out her bacc, its both on youtube n dreamwidth!

What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) the sims 2 is my favorite game in the world, been playing since i was like four/five!

Do you have any sims merch? i have a social bunny sweatshirt that i adore! i tried to google for it but it seems the shop is closed now, i got it from etsy by littleplumbobdesigns. i found this shirt it's the same design, except what i have is a pink sweatshirt with a pink social bunny!

Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do! i currently just have my port taylor bacc series on it, it's linked on my blog :^)

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i spent the first manyyyy years of simming without cc ,, idk how i did it man. i used to use alpha cc for sims 4 then i ended up switching to mostly maxis match! for sims 2 i switched hair systems twice (started with new hair system, then simgaroop, now it's mostly poppet v2). i can recall switching eye defaults too. that's all i can think of

What’s your Origin ID? i think it's behindthesea00 (my mom made me the account to buy me sims 4 for christmas) BUT i share that account with my younger sister. i dont think she plays sims anymore so idk if she still gets on it, i dont either tbh i dont need origin/ea play/whatever to play my game anymore YAY

Who’s your favorite CC creator? oh gosh there are soooo many!!

How long have you had a simblr? hmmmm i think i've had this one for 3-4 years? but it's been longer than that bc i have a sims 4 simblr that i completely abandoned as i no longer play sims 4, i havent played it since right before infants came out

How do you edit your pictures? for gameplay pics i just cropped them for the most part, occasionally adding a silly lil detail to it. i add woohoo heart to censor nudity when needed. for cc i honestly seem to just do whatever i feel like doing, lately i think i just take the pic, crop it, n add text to it

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? i only play sims 2 so no more packs for me! other than cc packs that our lovely community makes!

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? for sims 2 hmmmm im honestly not sure, ahh this is a hard one! sims 2 has such great packs idk if i can choose! hmmmm def pets for sure n i really love open for business too

[neverkayzat]

OKAY SO - someone mentioned this idea for the Vengeance of Moon Knight, and while it may sound extremely bad—like I’m Mat-patting it up in here while comparing things that may not make sense—it’s Mackay, and he makes me go insane.

The idea was behind what was introduced in Issue 8 of MK 2021 — stories. (If you see this, op, PLEASE dm me or at least message on here so I can add credit <3)

More below! :)

Issue 8 was the first main issue for Hunters Moon. If you don’t remember, MK was facing imprisonment because of what was happening in Devils Reign, and Detective Flint needed help with an investigation surrounding Scarlet Fasinera.

As the issue goes on, Hunters Moon finds Scarlet, brings her down via Khonshu, and apologizes to Reese.

Overall, it’s a pretty cut and dry story! However, what really stood out about THIS issue and THIS issue alone is that it talks about how powerful stories are, and it’s never talked about again. Maybe that’s coincidence, but there are major parallels to how Scarlet survived through becoming a story, and what Moon Knight has done.

First: The wall paintings.

On the left is how Scarlet survived through becoming a story. People prayed to her. The second, well, Marc sums it up well in the first issue:

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?? Not to say that Moon Knight can PROBABLY come back as a story, but I’m saying that. He’s already set up to be with the paintings on the walls AND his death.

We do not see this EVER again in the run, so that’s why it’s very suspicious to me… I know Mackay loves stories that constantly have action, but as we've seen for the entire run, everything has a meaning and a place in the story. It'd be odd if this was just thrown to the wolves with no further exposition.

Second: her talk about stories.

IF Moon Knight comes back through those symbols, the story is crafted by those beliefs and prayers (AND it's not just Mackay's Moon Knight run we see this motif- even in the current Avengers run, also written by him, we hear that when Thor fights the horrifying biblically accurate angel).

However, what strikes out to me is the "A story changes in the telling, Hunters Moon, but never learns."

Do you know how we see this new Moon Knight portrayed? That's right. Bloody and ruthless are a few words I can name off the top of my head. We have not seen a cover yet, except for issue one and the variants, that is them not fighting someone.

Do you know how Moon Knight is seen in a lot of peoples eyes? Bloody and ruthless. Do you know how stories are made? Through beliefs of other people. We even see this in issue #25!!

It's easier to be someone who everyone else knows. Not yourself. If no one knows who you are, truly, than your story—your new life—is not going to be yourself. Who you actually were, but it is you. To other people, you are the same.

Now, to end this all off... An excerpt from Badr:

While one person believes in Moon Knight, his story will continue. Do you see what I mean?

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 3

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥 (not this chapter - boooo!)

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Who wants to spend 7 hours at the hospital?!

(I just said to myself that if I post this chapter then I really, really need to get my ass moving on Chapter 4... and then proceeded to post this so I'm going to get on with 4 now, promise!)

~~~~~

Chapter 3

They drove in silence towards the hospital, Syd’s head immediately beginning to refill with restaurant stuff and now also Carmy stuff. She could feel his eyes on her as he kept looking over to her. His phone buzzed in the center console, 

"Would you mind checking that?" He asked. She picked it up, 

"Looks like it's from Pete?"

"Passcode is 1234."

"Wow, you're crying out to get mugged, dude."

"I have no money and nothing to hide, so," he shrugged with a wry smile as she unlocked his phone. 

"Pete said 'nothing happening just yet but Nat needs Mountain Dew and Reeses.' Girl, I hear you."

"There's a 24 hour place near the hospital." The car lurched to the left, "the fuck?" Carmy pulled over and jumped out. Syd heard a dull thud on the roof as Carmy’s hand whacked the metal. She nudged the window down, 

"You good?"

"We got a flat. I need to call trip A." She stepped out of the car, 

"Do you have a spare?"

"Not a fucking clue, Richie's probably sold it." She opened the trunk, cleared away some of the crap inside and lifted the carpet panel. She held her breath and could feel Carmy doing the same next to her. Tucked into the recess, she was relieved to see the spare tire, a jack and a wrench.

"Thank fuck he didn't." She sighed. He pulled the tire out and they got to work replacing the flat. 

"You know how to do this?" He asked, impressed. 

"OK, so quick story time, my mom and dad went on a date once - like they hadn't been dating for long, and he got a flat. He had no clue what he was doing so he made out like it was something serious," He jacked the car up while she loosened the bolts, "she got out the car, changed the flat in, like, seconds and then got back in as if nothin' had happened. My dad was totally stunned," he pulled the flat off and she replaced it with the spare, "her dad was a mechanic and he had no idea. So once he'd learned how to do it himself, dad made sure I knew how to do it as well." Carmy tightened the bolts.

"Sounds like she made a big impression on him."

"She did. There's never been anyone else for him, even after all this time." They jumped back into the car and Carmy eased back onto the road. 

"No one from his dance classes?"

"Dance classes, quiz team, poker nights, work, family friends… you name it. He refuses to be set up with anyone. He says I'm like her."

"Determined?"

"Good at changing a flat." She joked. Within minutes, he'd pulled up at the 24 hour store. Syd piled handfuls of candy and sodas into his arms as he followed her around the store, noting that she'd picked up both of their favorites as well as Nat's. "Right, let's go wait for your niece or nephew to be fashionably late?"

~~~~~

Fashionably late was an understatement. Syd was certain that she'd sat in the cold, uncomfortable plastic chairs for so long that she'd imagined everything that had happened in the office. It was all some sleep deprived fever dream her mind had conjured up to taunt her with. Fueled by sour gummy sweets, she'd arranged for Tina and Connor to run prep that morning. If the baby hadn't arrived before lunch service, she'd planned to take Carmy's car to the restaurant and work alongside Richie. The evening would have to wait until later to figure out. While she tried to decide if the images in her mind from earlier were a dream or a memory, she felt him stir next to her in the seat. His head had fallen into the curve of her neck while he'd slept. She felt the brush of his nose behind her ear, followed by a kiss. 

"D'ya sleep?"

"No. I sorted out tomorrow. Today. Whatever, it's covered til this evening at least and I'll burn that bridge when I get to it." He slumped in the chair and checked messages from Richie asking for an update. 

"Richie?"

"I spoke to him while you were asleep, he knows what's happening. Can I ask you something?" He turned to face her, a small nod urging her to continue. "Were you really coming to see me that night?" A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

"Yeah. I uh, I'd been thinking since the walk-in about How good we were. How good you were. Or are now, I guess. I was gonna go all in on," he gestured between them, "all of this - the restaurant, the stars. I needed you to know that you have my full focus."

"At 3am?"

"It was important to me that you knew."

"Looks like we were on the same page." 

"As usual. You should sleep. I'll see if Pete wants to switch." He yawned. 

"I'm OK. You wanna go change, take a shower?"

"With you?" He asked, hopefully. 

"Alone. For now. If Pete needs a break too, someone needs to be here for Nat." She smiled shyly. "But, y’know, good to know that earlier wasn't some weird fucking delirious dream."

"I'm gonna need to hear more about these dreams -" 

"Hey guys, Nat's asked me to take a break. I’m stressing her out." Pete came out with a tired smile before Carmy could say anymore. 

"You need to eat something, and you need to sleep for a couple hours." Syd told him

"Ahh I don't want to leave her for too long." 

"You don't have to," Carmy assured him. "I'll get you back here in an hour if you wanna skip the sleep part?" He looked torn.

"Dude, you can't look after Nat if you're starving and exhausted." Syd warned him. 

"You're right. And you'll stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere." She promised. 

"I'll go tell her." He said gratefully. When they'd been left alone again, Carmy turned to Syd.

"Sure you're good to stay? Thought you hated hospitals?"

"Well turns out the Berzatto's are very persuasive."

"We can be."

"And Nat has called me a genius before so I feel like she already likes me more than you." 

“That’s guaranteed. You don’t piss her off half as much as I do.” He checked over her shoulder for Pete’s reappearance before kissing her softly. “You need anything?” As if on command, her stomach rumbled loudly. 

“Food, please.” She sniggered, hiding her face in his collar. “What time is it? What meal is it?” She checked her phone to see 4am glaring at her.

“I’ll find you something, I’ll be back with breakfast.” He gave her some space as Pete returned with his coat, barely noticing their proximity.

“OK, let’s make this quick.” He sighed, “thanks Sydney.”

“No problem, Pete. I’ll see you guys later.” She went straight in to Nat, not wanting to leave her on her own purely so she could watch Carmy leave.

~~~~~

The tired blond smiled as she entered, but the toll of the evening was written all over her face. “Oh, Nat.” Syd sighed. “How you holding up?”

“Thank god you’re here. Pete’s great but I need to vent and he’s just being too nice. I feel like I can’t even yell at him, it’s like kicking a puppy.”

“I’m all yours, have at it.”

“I fucking hurt all over and I’m so fucking tired and I swear to god if someone doesn’t pull this baby from my fucking body right now then it can just fucking stay there and I’ll go back to work and it just stays there forever.” She growled as another contraction gripped her.

“Wow. OK, if that’s what you wanna do then I’ll bust you outta here right now. We’ll get back to work, help Tina with prep and get you serving tables by lunchtime?” Nat glared at her. “Can you even get up? Will they let you?”

“I’m not really clear on what I can do, no one is telling me anything except ‘be patient, baby will get here when they’re ready’. Be patient? Be fucking patient?”

“Are you hooked up to any machines or anything?” Syd looked around the bed but couldn’t see anything. “Doesn’t look like it. Wanna go for a walk?” Nat looked up suddenly,

“Really? Pete didn’t think it was a good idea.” She frowned.

“Your body, your rules. What’s it telling you?” 

“To stretch my legs.”

“So let's do it.” Syd held out her hands and Nat turned on the bed so that her feet hung over the side. She wiggled further forward on the bed, hanging onto Syd’s hands until her wooly socked feet hit the ground. She beamed at Syd, instantly looking more relaxed. “There’s the Nat I know. Come on, we’ll just have a little walk around this little area.” Syd propped open the door with a chair and held out her arm for Nat to take her elbow. They walked slowly through the deserted corridors to the elevators, past the nurses station, to the vending machines and back again doing a little loop. They paused occasionally for Nat’s contractions, but she didn’t want to stop. 

“Thought you were gonna get bed sores from sittin’ down all day!” A nurse called out as she passed them on their third loop. 

“I ditched the overprotective husband for an hour.” Nat smiled.

“Told you a walk would feel good. I was about to come and get you up anyway. Mind if I have a feel?” She gestured to Nat’s bump, Nat shrugged in agreement as the nurse placed her firm hands on Nat’s stomach. “Feels good, I think baby will be a little more energized after a walk.” She confirmed. “Head back if you feel unwell, I’m not birthing this baby in a corridor though, yeah?” Nat agreed and they carried on walking.

“How’s it feel?” Syd asked.

“Y’know Christmas?” Nat grimaced as they paused again, 

“Uhh yeah?”

“When you have to move fucking everything in your house to make room for a gigantic fucking tree that just sits there for weeks and then you have to get rid of it and put all the furniture back to where it was before?”

“Yeah?”

“Like that.”

“That’s fucked, Nat.” Syd laughed. Her loud laugh in the quiet corridor made Nat laugh until she was doubled over and clinging to Syd. 

“Oww! Fuck, OK no more laughing.”

“Yep, no more. Wanna head back to bed?”

“Yeah, time to take this fucking Christmas tree down.” They giggled as Syd guided Nat back past the elevators and to her room. Back in the room, Nat spotted a yoga ball that had been shoved in a corner, “lemme at that thing.” Syd placed it behind Nat and held it in place with her feet, using her hands to guide Nat to sit on the ball. She bounced gently on the spot,

“Yeah?” “Yeah, feels good.”

“Good. Let’s hope that was a good enough eviction notice.” They talked quietly while Nat bounced on the birthing ball, with Syd explaining the plans for the fall menu and the expected visit from Luca. 

“He’s cute, if I remember correctly?” Nat asked, distracting herself from the pain of another contraction.

“I’ve seen him once on a video call with Marcus, but he’s not bad I guess? Those are getting much closer together by the way.”

“Yeah they are. Is he single?” 

“How the hell should I know, Nat?” Syd laughed, checking the time on her phone against Nat’s contractions.

“I’m just pointing out that you don’t need to live like a nun! It’s still months before we’ll hear anything about the Michelin guide or James Beard. Months is plenty long enough for you to relax a little.”

“Every two minutes. I’m not gonna take my eye off the ball. Not a chance. He’s here for a week, I don’t have the energy to be not-dating someone who lives in Denmark.” 

“It’d be a shame to let that kinda cute pass you by?” Nat giggled, pausing halfway through for a contraction.

“Who’s cute?” Pete asked, coming through the open door, “nice ball.”

“You are, honey. Thanks, Syd found it for me. We’ve been gently encouraging this baby towards the exit and I think -” she held up her hand,

“Deep breath, Nat. It’s gonna pass, just hold on a couple more seconds.” Syd held Nat’s other hand as Pete hovered nervously and Carmy watched from the doorway.

“It’s working.” Nat finished her previous sentence. “It’s close, there’s hardly a break now.”

“I know, very close. I’m gonna call for the nurse, Pete, you wanna help Nat get wherever she’s comfortable?”

“On the ball. Staying here, don’t make me move, Syd?”

“You don’t need to move babe, it’s ok. Pete’s got you now, OK? I’m gonna get your nurse and we’ll see you really soon.” She kissed Nat’s cheek as she got up from the floor and patted Pete’s arm reassuringly. “She wants to move around.” She muttered to Pete in warning before pulling Carmy away from the door and closing it behind them.

“New career?”

“Fuck off,” she laughed, “I need to find a nurse.” She looked both ways down the corridor and headed to the nurses station where she caught the nurse who’d seen them earlier, “It’s go time. Contractions are about a minute and a half apart, she’s on the birthing ball and she wants to stay there.” Syd explained.

“That sounds perfect, I’m on my way. Nice work!” The nurse beamed at her. She and Carmy made their way back to the hard plastic seats and he handed her a breakfast sandwich.

“Oh my god, this looks insane.” Her eyes lit up as she unwrapped the wax paper. “Did you eat?” She asked through her first mouthful. He nodded,

“Showered, changed, let Pete sleep for maybe 30 minutes and then grabbed food on the way back.” 

“Perfect timing, that baby is, like, literally about to arrive.” “You both seemed pretty calm about it?”

“Just trying to keep her busy, talking about other stuff. I’m not saving you any of this, by the way.” She held up her sandwich.

“Heard, Chef. Talking about Luca?”

“She thinks I should ask him out or something.”

“Or something? What’dyou think about that?” He asked curiously. She finished her sandwich and sat back in the seat.

“I think I’m way too busy.” She shrugged. “I’m shadowing this amazing chef, working all the hours I can, I don’t have any spare time at all.” He smiled bashfully and bumped her with his shoulder.

“Good.”

“Good.” She leaned into him and he scrolled through his phone, showing her the pictures he’d taken of the place he’d brought her breakfast from, the messages he and Richie had exchanged about Nat being in the hospital and the Bear group chat which had a bunch of good luck messages for Natalie and Pete. It wasn’t long before Pete emerged, a blissful smile on his face.

“Well?” Carmy asked, sitting bolt upright.

“It’s a girl,” he grinned, his eyes filling with tears, “a little girl! She’s so tiny, she’s 7lbs exactly, she has so much dark blond hair! And blue eyes,” Syd felt her heart fill with love at just hearing about the baby in the next room. “She arrived about an hour ago. Guys, I’m so in love. She’s just being measured and dressed while Nat takes a shower, give it a few minutes and you can come in.” Pete held out his hand to shake but Carmy, tears making their way down his cheeks, pulled the taller man into a hug. 

"That's amazing, dude. Amazing." He dragged a hand down his face. 

"How's Nat?" Syd asked, 

"She's OK. Exhausted, took a lot longer than we thought. I mean, I called you guys at, like, midnight? You've been here for about 7 hours, I'm so sorry." Pete looked torn between guilt and relief.

"Don't be, we wouldn't have missed it." She reassured him, Carmy nodded in agreement. 

"We'll get some sleep before service, Tina's got prep covered."

"Well, we'll be here most of the day I think. I know Nat wants to go home today though."

"Let us know when you're home and we'll come over with some food." Carmy suggested, Syd couldn't help her tired mind lingering on the consistent use of us and we throughout the exchange. 24 hours without sleep - the majority of it spent on her feet and working - she could feel tiredness creeping into her bones. 

"Yeah, that's great. I'd better get back in there, I'll give you a shout when we're ready for you?" He made his way back to Nat and the baby. Syd dug around in her pocket for change for the coffee machine until a five dollar bill was waved in her eye line. 

"Aha, thanks Carm." She fumbled with the machine to get a drink for each of them and then slumped back in her seat. "What's the plan?"

"Back to mine, if you want? Sleep, and then get to the restaurant just before service. Work through, then ditch the farmer's market and sleep instead tomorrow?"

"Promise?"

"Might need to wake up eventually to make something for Nat and Pete, but otherwise, fuck yes."

"I'm just gonna call my dad. Let him know." She pulled out her phone and hurriedly gave him the basics before he left for work. She was just ending the call as Pete came back for them. She pushed Carmy ahead of her with her hand in the small of his back, sensing his apprehension. She could feel him relax against her once he saw Nat smiling at him through tears, 

"Come meet baby bear," she urged them both as they crept into the room. "This is Mila. Mila, this is Uncle Carmy and Auntie Syd." Syd held her breath as she peered over Carmy's shoulder to see the baby, hand still firmly on his back. "Wanna hold her?"

"You first," Carmy suggested, sidestepping to let her in. 

"No fucking way dude, she's your niece."

"What if I do it wrong?" He hissed. Nat was already holding Mila out to him, prompting him to raise his elbow like this and put his other hand like that. She settled the baby into his arms, "Hi sweet girl," he whispered finally, staring at her with matching stormy blue eyes and dark blond curls. 

"The Berzatto genes are strong, sorry Pete!" Syd smiled, 

"No complaints here, she looks like her mama." 

"She's gorgeous," Syd brushed her index finger against Mila's tiny hand and the baby opened her fist to grip the finger. "Same blue eyes as you," she said to Carmy. After a few minutes, he handed the baby to her and she took in the mess of curls and sleepy eyes, "so do all Berzatto's look the same when they're born?" Nat smiled softly, 

"From what I remember of our three baby pictures, yeah."

"Well if it helps, you all grow up pretty cute too. How're you feeling?" 

"Tired, I swear when we called Carmen she was about to arrive. Then everything just stopped for so long, thank you for waiting."

"Of course. Hopefully they'll let you go home later."

"God I hope so, I'd rather do this from my own fucking bed." Nat sighed. Mila grew restless in Syd's arms so she passed her back to Nat. "She'll need feeding again I think."

"We'll leave you guys to it, let you get some rest." Carmy kissed Nat's cheek. "I'll call you later."

~~~~~

[pinkacademic]

A History and Legacy of Legally Blonde

(It's done, I can die happy)

An Introduction

For over twenty years, Legally Blonde has been the King- or rather, Queen- of the chick-flick/rom-com world, having reigned supreme over the “girly movies” kingdom ever sinced it first graced cinema screens in 2001. Reese Witherspoon’s wonderful portrayal of sorority president-turned attorney Elle Woods created a veritable zeitgeist of Pink and Powerful. Legally Blonde has become the feminist film that inspires future law students and teenage sleepover-havers alike.

While it wasn’t always intended to be the cinematic masterpiece that it became, and, in fact, started in a way that likely wouldn’t have been quite such the feminist classic, it grew and developed during production; It went from something that could cause questions to be asked as to whether Legally Blonde as we know it should be held on a feminist pedestal, to a heartfelt vision that inspired so many of its regular re-watchers for two decades and more.

Herein is an exploration of the book that inspired the film, how the characters and the story developed as the film was made, and how Reese Witherspoon became so heavily involved- and influential- in the film’s success. Moreover, how the Harvard Class of 2004 encouraged so many young women into following the mantra of “what would Elle Woods do?”

What is the legacy of Legally Blonde? How did it end up with so much staying power? Here is the story of Elle Woods and how she became a cultural icon, and how she created a generation.

A History

The Book

Legally Blonde started its life as the book of the same name, a novelisation of author Amanda Brown’s experiences at Stanford University. The plot is largely unchanged- a pretty sorority girls goes to law school in pursuit of love- but there are swathes of differences in how the novel plays out, from plot details to characterisation of the main character. While the novel is hard to track down, an article by Cracked outlines the major differences between the book and the movie. In “Movie Differences: Elle Woods In The ‘Legally Blonde’ Book Is A Monster,” Amanda Manning opines that “[i]t’s hard to imagine a more perfect person than Elle Woods” in reference to the film character, but that “[l]iterary Elle Woods is manipulative, narcissistic, lazy, entitled, and excruciatingly judgmental.”

In terms of plot changes, Elle doesn’t seem to have the same studious drive, as Manning describes how “Movie Elle is humiliated” by her lack of understanding of the new, more “rigorous” academic world she now finds herself whereas “Book Elle didn't even buy the books and intentionally blew off the reading.”

While what Manning presents is truly a scathing review, it also proves the stark contrast between the Elle that is and the version that once was.

The Film

Just as with the book, early development of the film took the story on a journey that was crucial in it’s becoming something almost separate entirely from the book. Unlikely director Robert Luketic was an edgy film school major, who changed his tone was a ten-minute musical about an Italian woman, Titsiana Booberini who “has a hairy upper lip and (…) works in a supermarket where she battles the prettier girls for the affections of the handsome assistant manager,” according to an article on the Wayback Machine on the Internet Archive, originally from the Denver Center of Performing Arts.

MGM, the company that produced Legally Blonde, were apparently under the impression that the film “was going to be much more wet T-shirts and boobs than it actually turned out to be,” according to Luketic. The name Titsiana Booberini from Luketic’s previous work truly implies that MGM’s assumptions were correct. Early versions of the script were raunchier and edgier and were comparable to American Pie. Kirsten Smith, who along with Karen McCullah, wrote the film has stated "It transformed from nonstop zingers that were very adult in nature to this universal story of overcoming adversity by being oneself,” (Smith).

In fact, the plot originally did not include Paulette or Emmett, and ended with Elle entering a relationship with a professor, likely Callaghan.

While we can never know for certain, I find it highly likely that the original version of Legally Blonde would have become a rather forgettable summer romp in the typical “wet T-shirts and boobs” category, and we can thank God it changed.

Or rather, we can thank Luketic, Smith, and McCullah, and also Reese Witherspoon herself. It was Smith and McCullah who reworked the script, it was Luketic who fought for Reese, and it was Reese who knew her character well enough to make her who she is.

The writing dynamic duo Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah were great friends before, having written 10 Things I Hate About You. They cite inspiration from Clueless, according to Blue Bear Magazine. Clearly, they knew what they were doing in the world of fun, fresh, and funky feminist films, and creating iconic rom-coms that put twists on the classics. The duo went on to contribute to Ella Enchanted, She’s the Man, and other classics that get referenced at every sleepover since they came out.

Director Robert Luketic, though he started his film education wanting to create something “edgy,” breaking the film school mold with Titsiana Booberini set the tone for him to emerging into a career in rom-coms such as The Ugly Truth, staring Katherine Heigl and Gerrard Butler, and Killers, starring Katherine Heigl again, this time with Ashton Kutcher, as well as episodes of Jane the Virgin, among other projects. While I am not overly familiar with these films, it is clear that Luketic has an understanding for a genre often marketed in Elle Woods-approved pink.

A film of this nature was clearly in good hands, and it is this team that truly made the masterpiece we all know and love today.

The trio have worked together also on the previously mentioned The Ugly Truth, which is testament to their teamwork.

But truly one of the biggest contributions to the project was Elle herself, as Reese Witherspoon is truly what made the film and th character both so iconic.

Reese Witherspoon

Luketic actually had to fight for Reese, as, given her last movie had been Election, she was believed by bosses at MGM to be similar to that character. Witherspoon told The Hollywood Reporter that MGM though she was “a shrew,” due to having been typecast in their eyes. However, Luketic remained convinced that Witherspoon was the right choice for the role, despite suggestions including Britney Spears, Katherine Heigl, and Alicia Silverstone among others.

The Hollywood Reporter article, again found on the Wayback Machine, titled “How Reese Witherspoon Took Charge of Her Career and Changed Hollywood,” relays Witherspoon’s involvement in Hollywood, and it is noted that for Legally Blonde that: “[s]he endured multiple rounds of auditions for Legally Blonde, at one point meeting with executives in character (complete with a Southern California accent) to show that she could ace the part.”

It is baffling to think that she had to fight for it. But as Elizabeth Gabler, head of Fox in 2000 noted, Witherspoon “doesn’t give up,” and if that isn’t the attitude of an Elle Woods, then what is?

Witherspoon said of Elle that: “(…)your first instincts is to discount women who put a lot of effort into their looks as maybe not serious about their job or maybe not serious about their relationships ... I think everyone naturally jumps to those conclusions(…)”

To me, there is a clear understanding of where Elle stands in the world, and how she wants to prove that she’s passionate about anything she sets her mind to. What strikes me especially is her telling The Hollywood Reporter in 2001 that, even though the word “fluffy” was used, Witherspoon stated “[she] take[s] it as seriously as [she] would any other movie.” Moreover, she did her research, having dinner with sorority girls in what she referred to as “an anthropological study.”

Reese Witherspoon became Elle Woods because she understood her internally. She immersed herself in the world that Elle is from and learned the differencs between the sorority girls and herself- the good, the bad, and the blonde of it all.

The Legacy

The team behind Legally Blonde truly created a masterpiece- a piece of art that has been inspiring a legion of creative and intellectual minds, and has been constantly doing so since 2001. In 2017, Reese Witherspoon told Wall Street Journal Magazine that “[at]t least once a week [she has] a woman come up to [her] and say ‘I went to law school because of Elle Woods.’”

Witherspoon was also handed a copy of entertainment reporter Lucy Ford’s college dissertation, that, in true Elle fashion, Ford presented to her in a pink ribbon. Elle’s own resumé being printed on pink paper and scented helps her stand out and be remembered, and Elle is a great believer in presentation and details, and it is an excellent lesson to take away from the movie. I’ll confess to personally making my CV pink too, because if it’s Elle-approved, it’s me-approved too.

There are a myriad of ways that Elle Woods has been inspirational to its steams of viewers. The article How Legally Blonde Influenced a Generation of Women Lawers on abajournal.com relays the range of the Elle Effect, noting both a friend of writer Haley Moss’ having bought a chihuahua because of Elle’s beloved Bruiser and the “plethora” of young women on social media. Some of said women were cited to have ‘thought the LSATs were possible’ thanks to Elle, and some of them were ‘just seeking fashion advice.”

So many voices have been added to the conversation about what a woman can be, having been inspired by Elle, as family law attorney Layla Summers told Spectrum News “When I watch the movie now I feel like I'm part of a great club of powerful professional women, like a sorority.”

This is a movie of joining women together from any walk of life and lifting them up.

The Lawyers

People.com also shares the legacy of Legally Blonde in the article lengthily titled “'Legally Blonde' Is 'Still' Inspiring People to Go to Law School – Plus, How Reese Witherspoon is Celebrating the Film's 15th Anniversary.”

It tells the stories of women who went to law school due to Elle and who connected to the character. Beginning with Shalyn Smith, the sorority president says she felt people would underestimate her ambitions for a career in law, “despite the fact that she had a 4.0.”

The article also features a series of tweets to a similar affect such as @kenzamae20 who tweeted at Reese Witherspoon directly saying ��If Elle Woods can do law school I think I can too,” and @Gab_Tamburri who tweeted “I relate to Elle Woods in so many ways and honestly want to be like her when I get to law school.”

The Creators

The women of the legal profession have taken to the internet in droves under a pink flag waved by Reese Witherspoon herself too, as many other articles address. People.com spoke to Kathleen Martinez relays how in previous jobs sh was told that she should “dress more ‘consertavely’” and to ‘make [her male bosses] coffee,’” but npw she’s the head of her own immigration law team. She’s the head of a team of largely immigrants who are also mostly pink-loving women too. The article also points out that she held an “over-the-top Legally Blonde themed party” for everyone at her firm, so Elle’s influence and Legally Blonde’s Legacy are blatant and cannot be overstated.

In fact, the legacy is continuing, as Martinez has an impressive internet presence, with viral TikToks with 4.5 million views, and 1 million followers.

Mirror.co.uk also tells the story of Lowri Rose-Williams who spoke on how she feels ‘people assume she’s “an airhead” before they find out she’s a law student. She also relays that her experiences on OnlyFans contribute to the points of view that surround her as “many assume girls who use the app are ‘brainless.’”

Rose-Williams also expresss that “when people actually get to know [her] they change their mind,” which to me is certainly evocative of Elle.

A creator that I am a big fan of is Christina Stratton, who, in an article by Business Insider stated "I think back to the first day of college, and I would have never been bold enough to post an outfit of the day (…) I would have been too nervous about what all of my college friends would think.”

And yet now, she has a follower count in the hundreds of thousands, and is dubbed another “real life Elle Woods,” and while the article focuses on how she makes money from her brand deals, it is from her evocation of Elle Woods that her numbers have been garnered. Stratton wears almost exclusively pink in her videos, has a perfectly Bruiser-like tiny poodle, and has an Elle-tastic perky attitude that shows that she lives like Elle.

There is something about the unapologetically authentic aura of Elle Woods, from her optimism to her feminism, to her pinkness, that just appeals to people in so many ways. Elle Woods is who she is and becomes an even stronger version of herself, never changing for anyone. That’s who everyone who feels connected to her wants to be. Legally Blonde’s legacy is that of women who feel like they can do anything they want to, and do it in a heel. It evokes Dolly Parton’s famous line of “go big or go home, either way do it in a red pair of shoes,” but here they’re hot pink- but equally designed for stomping.

My Girlies

I reached out to my followers too to see what mymost supportive queens had to say, and it was plenty. naranjahtikal said: “I want to go to law school because of Elle! I also want to own a future textile company. I love the internal and external balance that Elle portrays as a woman.”

princessaninhas also responded, saying:

“I always wanted to be a nurse but people always told me that I didn't have the profile for that, they judged me by my way of being and dressing, they said I wasn't smart enough, there was a time when I was the only one who got all the answers right on a test (because I studied a lot) and the teacher said I was "lucky".Elle Woods taught me that we shouldn't care what others think, we should be ourselves and we shouldn't change our way of being to be what others want💕”

It is clear that Elle’s influence and the legacy of Legally Blonde are far-reaching and widespread. Legally Blonde inspires and Elle Woods represents having it all. You can be girly and twirly and kickass all at one, from law school to textiles, “we shouldn’t care what others think,” and we have to do things we want to do for ourselves.

A Conclusion

So, ultimately, what would Elle Woods do? I think the answer is that she would overcome a past that caused her to be overlooked and do what no one expected her to, creating a longlasting legacy for years to come.

Just as the story of Elle Woods is one of being overlooked for being too blonde for law school, only to set her eyes on the White House in Legally Blonde 2, the story of Legally Blonde is that of a movie that overcame murky origins and fought to become a feminist classic and went on to be the talk of the town in it’s twenty-second year since it’s release.

Thank you to Robert Luketic, Karen McCullah Lutz, Kristen Smith, and Reese Witherspoon among everyone else behind this most magical of films, and may we continue as a community of pink-loving, feminine feminists to keep the momentum going for those who came after us, becase that really is what Elle Woods would do.

[crockettmarcel]

a six pack of beers and an apology

wc: 1511

sarah reese & crockett marcel

The car pulls up across the street a little after six pm, the time announced by the portable radio on the table next to Sarah. She’s not sure what the host is talking about — she stopped listening not long after the show started — so instead she focuses her attention on the car. It’s a sporty looking blue one, something she can’t identify, and for a few minutes, it just sits opposite her house. No one gets in or out. It’s too far away for her to make out who’s inside, so she takes another drag of her cigarette and waits for some movement.

Eventually, the driver’s side door opens, and a tall, dark-haired figure appears. She recognises him immediately, and she considers going back inside and pretending she’s not home. He’s seen her though, she’s certain, which means there’s no way out of whatever is about to happen. She stubs out her cigarette on the little red ashtray next to the radio.

The man gets something out of the trunk of the car, a box, then looks both ways before crossing the street. They make eye contact as he reaches the sidewalk, but Sarah can’t maintain it. She reaches for her pack of cigarettes.

Shaking hands, numb from the cold air, struggle with the lighter. She should have gone inside half an hour ago.

“I thought you quit.” He’s on the porch when the cigarette finally lights, disappointment radiating off him.

“Crockett.” She takes him in for a moment. His hair is longer now, and he’s no longer clean-shaven, but he’s got that same brown bomber jacket he used to wear when they were together. The box from his car is a six pack of beer. “I thought you quit.

“This is for you.”

He holds it out to her, and when she makes no effort to take it from him, he sets it down next to her. The swing moves a little under the sudden new weight, and she steadies it with her feet. The wood of the porch is old and rough against her socks, but she never remembers to put shoes on before coming out.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk.”

She opens the box and pulls out a bottle. “It’s been a year. What is there to talk about?”

There’s no bottle opener out here, but that has never stopped Sarah before. One of her best party tricks since her freshman year of college — aside from her ability to name the capital of any country given to her — is her ability to open bottles with her teeth, often met with gasps and winces from those who have never seen it before.

Crockett’s face stays neutral as she spits the cap into her hand and takes a swig.

“I came to apologise. If you’ll let me.”

Sarah laughs. “Can we go inside?”

Crockett clearly wasn’t expecting this. His mouth hangs open slightly, as if he was about to speak, but lost the words somewhere on the way from his brain. Still, he picks up the box of beer and lets Sarah lead him inside. The radio is still playing when he shuts the door behind him.

“You can put those down wherever,” she says, leading by example as she tosses the cigarette packet and lighter on the coffee table.

The house looks the same as he remembers it, if a little messier, and for a moment, he studies the space around him. The couches are new, but look well-worn, and he thinks back to her brief but intense thrifting phase. Perhaps it had had a round two at some point. There are new plants dotted around too, and they look better taken care of than Sarah does. From where he’s standing by the front door, he can see the kitchen, and once he’s finished taking in all the changes that have occurred in the last three years, he puts the box down on the floor and lets his eyes settle on Sarah’s face.

Out on the porch, he’d thought it was just the evening light that was making her look different. Even now though, lit up by the warm glow of various lamps, Sarah’s still pale. She looks worn out. Her cheekbones almost poke through her skin, and the dark circles under her eyes seem to weigh her down.

He wants to ask her what happened, how long things have been like this, but she rarely talked about her feelings when they were together. There’s no way she’ll tell him anything now.

He sets the box down next to the small couch.

“Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got water, coffee…” She lets her voice trail off as she makes her way into the kitchen. Crockett watches, unmoving, as she sets her beer down on the counter, then opens the fridge and peers inside. “Yeah, water and coffee.”

She used to love orange juice.

“I’m good, thanks.” He can only imagine how dire the inside of that fridge is.

“Right.”

For a moment, they pause, neither sure how to navigate this new dynamic. Crockett initiated this, so he should be the one calling the shots and showing Sarah how to behave, but when she glances over her shoulder at him, he appears more like a deer in the headlights, startled and unsure what to do next. Was it even his idea to come here?

After what feels like an eternity of standing in limbo, Sarah takes pity on him and makes the first move. She goes back to the living room, leaving her bottle of beer in the kitchen, and takes a seat on the bigger sofa. Crockett follows.

There’s easily enough space for both of them, and he can feel Sarah’s eyes on him as he tries to figure out what to do. Did she choose the bigger couch so he’d sit further away from her? But then why not take the armchair if she didn’t want to be next to him? If he sits right up close to her, it might seem weird when the couch is so big, but if he sits at the other end, what if that’s not what she wanted?

“You can sit down, you know.”

The lump in his throat is the size of a boulder. One of those beers would help it go down more easily, he’s sure.

But, unlike Sarah, when he said he was quitting, he meant it. He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in almost a year, not even in food, and he’s not starting now, in the familiar-unfamiliar living room of his ex-girlfriend’s house. If he was going to relapse, it would be more dramatic, more climactic than this.

He sits next to Sarah on the big couch.

“You said you wanted to apologise.”

“I did. I do.”

“Why now?”

It’s a repeat of her question from outside, and he still doesn’t have an answer he can give her. How does he tell her that the guilt has been eating away at him all this time, or that he’s never stopped missing her?

“It felt right.”

She scoffs. “I’m sure it would have felt right a year ago, too.”

“It would. I don’t- I don’t know why I didn’t try back then. I should have. I’m sorry.”

“That’s it? You’re sorry for not trying?”

She’d moved closer to him when he first sat down, but now she pulls away, pressing her body into the arm of the couch. He doesn’t try to close the gap.

“I’m sorry for everything. I betrayed you and hurt you in the worst way, and there’s no excuse for it. If you can’t forgive me, I get it, but I want you to know that I’m not that guy anymore. I’m embarrassed that I ever was.”

He pauses, thoughts jumbled up and almost incomprehensible despite the hours he spent perfecting this at home, and uses the moment to study Sarah. She’s looking at him, expression softer than it has been since he arrived, and there’s something that looks like it might be understanding behind her eyes. The gap between them is smaller now, and he reaches across it to take her hand. She doesn’t pull away.

“I ruined the best thing in my life that night, Sarah. You were the best thing in my life, and I’m sorry I made you feel like anything less than that.” I love you.

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Crockett can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. Just like that? He eyes her for a second, waiting for the laugh, the sarcastic comment, something that says she was joking, but there’s nothing.

“Are you sure?”

“Certain.” She squeezes his hand, her grip deceptively strong, and for the first time since he pulled out of the liquor store car park, the thoughts about the beer are little more than a subtle buzzing in the back of his mind. He survived the urges, and he survived coming here. Sarah’s smiling at him.

He’ll be okay. He squeezes her hand back. They’ll be okay.

[rhysandshiftingthespectrum]

Introductory Post

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Hello, shifter. I’m Rhysand (pronounced Reese-Sund), also known as Rhys (pronounced Reese). I’m a Neurodivergent, Queer, and Nonhuman Reality Shifter. Come along on my journey with me, let’s see how many bonds we can make along the way. :]

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸����

About Me (Neurodivergency)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m undiagnosed AuDHD (Autism + ADHD), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and Pure O OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) (trying to get these diagnosed ASAP), medically recognized SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder)(also trying to get this diagnosed ASAP), and diagnosed MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Probably have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and/or PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation), and hoping to get that diagnosed ASAP as well.

I also have undiagnosed ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), and a majority of other “smaller” related things to my main neurodivergencies and mental illnesses (mainly things related to my AuDHD and OCD).

I don’t yet feel confident to label myself as disabled (because I don’t want to intrude on the disabled community or mislabel myself as such), but I probably am, due to my severe executive dysfunction, and several other things.

I’m in therapy, and I adore my therapist, even though they call me out constantly. (Keeping their name, pronouns, and terms secret for privacy reasons.)

Tone tags are appreciated when talking to me, since I am tired of guessing what people actually mean. If you aren’t sure what some are, how to use them, or what they mean, just ask me and I’ll give you some answers. Or look it up yourself! :]

My Special Interests Are: Wings Of Fire, Harry Potter, Neurodivergency and Disabilities as a whole, and Dragons in general.

My Current Hyperfixation(s): Nothing, and I’m in need of fucking dopamine.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Reality Shifting)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’ve been aware of the shifting community since around 2020 or 2021. I discovered it from Tiktok, and did my own research into it immediately. Unfortunately, there wasn’t that many good resources, so my understanding of it was very simple, and my mindset was very poor. I tried shifting for a while at first, but then took a huge break from it, only trying every now and then, until early 2024. Now, with the help of shiftblr, I’ve been able to grow my knowledge of it and get motivation and mindset changes. I’ve also shifted to a parallel reality since joining shiftblr. I now attempt to shift actively (every night), and usually get a fair amount of symptoms. I am debating on permashifting to my Better CR DR right now.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Queer Identity)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a Genderfluid Genderflux Non-Binary TransGuy. I experience a lot of genders within that label, so I can’t say them all here. Been feeling agender with a dash of masculine for quite a bit now, though.

I use any pronouns except for She/Her. My main pronouns are He/They/It/Xe/Ze/Ne, and I also very much love nounself and emojiself pronouns. I like 🌙/🌙’s/🌙self a lot, and any other emojiself ones.

I’m comfy with Masculine, Neutral, Thing, Creature/Critter, Fey, Hylian, and Dragon terms.

I’m AroAce, Aromantic and Myrsexual (Neuroasexual, Nebulasexual, Requiesexual, Rosesexual, Dreadsexual, Placiosexual, and Merosexual), and I’m Homoalterous, Omniqueerplatonic, Panexteramo, Pansensual, and Panaesthetic.

I’m Ambiamorous with no preference.

I’m also a Lesboy and T4T.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Nonhumanity)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a Polytherian, Otherkin, Otherlink, Otherfix, Otherhearted, and Fictionflicker nonhuman.

My Theriotypes are: Wolf (Vancouver Coastal Sea Wolf), Fox (Red Fox), Lynx (Canada Lynx), Snow Leopard, Norwegian Forest Cat, and Nurse Shark..

My Kintypes are: Fiction (Dark Fey, Forest Type, from the Maleficent movies), Dragon (SilkWing/SeaWing hybrid), Dragon (Night-Light Fury Hybrid), and Raccoon.

My Linktypes are: Owl (Snowy or Barn) and Sable.

My Fictionflicker types have been: An OC Species of mine (Orphinki) and Hylian.

My hearttypes are: Whale Shark.

I’ve been awakened since around April of 2024. My Dark Fey kintype is probably because of a past life, although I don’t really have any solid memories of it, more just a great sense of things that were from that life. The rest of my nonhumanity is likely due to my neurodivergency. I don’t experience many shifts, but when I have, they have been partial shifts. I experience a lot of species dysphoria and species envy, though.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Other)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a minor (16).

I’m taken by my lovely boyfriend ( @thesunnishboy ) and I am not looking for any more partners. (He’s also a reality shifter!)

I’m Agnostic, a bit spiritual, and am very respectful of others’ religions.

I’m celiac, and have a dairy intolerance, so fun for me (sarcasm).

I stand very much with Palestine.

I swear loads, so beware of that.

I have one older sibling (She/Her), who is also queer and a master shifter. She can shift literally whenever she wants to. She has the mindset all shifters dream of.

I love asks, so never ever feel afraid to send one!

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Frequent Anons:

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

First Anon - 🧈

Second Anon - 🥀

Third Anon - 🐝

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Links

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

DR Masterlist.

List Of Shifting Symptoms.

Notion DR Script Templates.

My Queer Labels.

My Card.

My Carrd.

@rhyswiththeshiftingzone - My other shifting account. (Pretty active.)

@rhysthedarkforestfey - My Dark Fey Otherkin account. (Not very active.)

@rhysthenonhuman - My Nonhuman account. (Not very active.)

@themanirealityshifter - My random/shifting account. (Not very active.)

@neurodivergentshiftingcultureis - My Neurodivergent Shifting Culture ask blog.

@toomuchdivergentformyneuro - My Neurodivergent account. (Active.)

@rhysandtheangelofthesunandmoon - My Greek Gods DR account. (Active.)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

DNI List

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Any queerphobes (including those against intersex, mspec lesbians and gays, lesboys, turigirls, gaybians, etc., just basically any contradictory label, radqueers, TERFs, and SWERFs), racists, sexists, proshippers, those who romanticize age-regressors and pet-regressors, ableists (including those who demonize personality disorders), those who romanticize any sort of mental illness, neurodivergency, and disability, anti-shifters, those against permashifters, respawners, and race-changers, those against endogenic/non-traumagenic/etc. or mixed origins or unknown origins systems, those against Palestine, those who’s blogs are Christian or God/Jesus Christ themed heavy (nothing against y’all, just have trauma with it), those who directly send NSFW stuff towards me, those who can’t respect boundaries, JK Rowling supporters, and just about anybody else that makes me uncomfortable. I will block freely.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future Part II, The Novel by Craig Shaw Gardner: Thoughts, commentary, and general ramblings

Part 3: A trip to Hilldale

Previous posts here

• We get a decent amount of information on the two police officers who take Jennifer to Hilldale, which is interesting. Their names are Reese and Foley (a fact I did already know), and we spend some time in Foley’s head as they bring Jennifer home.

Reese is evidently the by-the-book, serious cop while Foley is the more compassionate and easy-going one. Reese is always citing regulations and laws and refusing to bend them even slightly, and Foley thinks a lot of the rules are silly and should be bent when the situation calls for it—particularly if a regulation actually prevents them from helping someone. Foley wants to take Jennifer into the house so she’s safe, but Reese says it’s against regulation to enter a house without permission, so their original plan is to leave her on the porch until she wakes up on her own.

Poor Jennifer can’t stop getting moved to various locations and then just Left There.

• It’s mentioned twice that Foley hates her job. She’s worried about it turning her cruel and emotionless, and after saying goodbye to Jennifer, she feels, “—empty, deep in her stomach.” Someone write a fanfic where she quits and finds a career she loves.

• After Jennifer wakes up and is trying to figure out what on Earth is going on, she concludes something must have happened to Marty and Doc because, “They wouldn’t just leave her all alone—would they?”

LOL, YES, THEY WOULD, JEN.

• As Jennifer hides in the closet and watches Marlene, Lorraine, and George, she notes that Marlene is built, “—sort of huskily for a girl,” and that she’s probably an athletic type. This reminds me of the “pop up facts” feature on the DVDs I have and how one of the facts is that one of the jackets in the closet of the 2015 McFly house is a letterman one that supposedly belongs to Marlene’s boyfriend. So, yeah, I can see Marlene as a jock who is also dating a jock.

It also reminds me of how, years ago, I went for a checkup and the doctor was like, “You’re built like an athlete. You must play sports, huh? Soccer?” and I was like, “Ma’am I have never played a sport in my life.”

• In the movie, we learn George threw his back out on the golf course, but the book tells us that he was hit by a car that FELL OUT OF THE SKY. (while he was on the golf course)

• After Junior arrives on the scene and says hello to Jennifer, he hurries by too quickly to get a good look at her. Jennifer is relieved and thinks, “Lucky for her, he paid as much attention to most things as his father did!”

I love that line. Jennifer is quite aware that her boyfriend has no attention span and limited awareness of his surroundings at any given moment.

• After being firmly told by Doc to stay put and change back into his regular clothes, Book Marty—much like Movie Marty—quickly gets to work Not Listening. Except the book makes Marty’s disobedience sort of adorable because, after seeing the dog being walked with the drone, we’re told, “Maybe, Marty considered, now that he had his shoes on and all, maybe he should take a closer look at that dog, and, maybe, whatever else might be around the corner, like his future house.”

I can’t with Marty. This is the thought process of a six-year-old. “Well, Doc told me to change my outfit and sit here and not move, but, but…I did put my regular shoes back on! I did that one whole entire thing already, which is good enough, right? So maybe, maybe, I should go and Look At That Dog now. And if my house happens to also be there by some chance, maybe I can check it out too. Maybe.”

Ridiculous guy.

[middleearthpixie]

Better Days ~ Chapter Eighteen

Dunraven Pub Series- Modern AU

A/N: It's been a long time since I last updated this - I hope some people still remember it... Anyway, school is winding down for the semester and so most of my fics should be updated on a more regular basis as a result. Thank you for your patience! 💜

Summary: Frerin Durin had the perfect life, until he found out his wife was cheating on him. Now, he’s navigating uncharted territory as an about-to-be divorced single dad. Dating is a mess, he’s dealing with the fallout where his kids are concerned, and really, he would just love a vacation away from all of it. 

Elena Madison is new to Sidleburg, and also navigating life as a newly single parent. The last thing she needed was for her daughter to come down sick, when she hasn’t even had time to unpack the moving boxes, never mind find a pediatrician. And the last thing she ever expected was to meet a man like Dr. Frerin Durin…

Neither Elena nor Frerin were looking for anything, but fate has a way of messing up even the best laid plans. However, both have been hurt and both aren't at all sure they trust themselves, never mind trusting someone else...

Pairings:  Modern!Frerin x ofc Elena Madison

Warnings: None

Rating: T 

Word Count: 4.5k

Tag List: @mrsdurin @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-mer-6195 @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @sorisooyaa @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @buckybarnes-thorin @glassgulls @evenstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98 @albionscastle @absentmindeduniverse @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @sazzlep @court-jobi @masterofhounds @genius2050

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here. 

Frerin groaned as he let his head thunk against his desk. “Again?”

“Sorry, Frerin, we’ve got three docs out with the flu.”

“Yeah, a likely story.” He picked his head up once more. “This is ridiculous, Jay, I spend more time in the ER than I do up here and I have to cancel plans with someone again.”

Jay Reese, Sidleburg’s chief of staff, nodded. “I know. I’m not happy about it, either, but we need docs down there.”

“I’m a pediatrician, Jay.”

“You still went to med school, didn't you? Look, it sucks and I know it sucks, but until the hiring freeze is lifted and we get actual warm bodies who know what they’re doing, we have to pick up the slack. I had plans, too, and I’ll be seeing patients down there as well.”

“Mine involved a gorgeous brunette I was planning to be naked with,” Frerin grumbled. “And now, I’ve got to cancel those plans—again, I’ll remind you—to work a double shift—again as well—in a department I’m only barely qualified to work in.”

“You’ve got an MD after your name. That’s more than barely qualified and kids come into the ER as well.”

“So, then let me get back to working on the pediatric ER. At least then it will make sense for me to be down there.”

Reese sighed, closing Frerin’s office door behind him. “Look, I’ll be honest with you, I don't see that getting off the ground any time soon. There just isn’t money in the budget for it. We’re trying to keep the doors open as it is and going to the board with an idea that will help the smallest of fractions of the population isn’t what they’re looking to okay right now.”

Frerin sat back in his chair, staring at Reese. “What if I can find the funds? I haven’t written a grant proposal since the dark ages, but I’ll do it if it means I have a decent reason to be down there. You should see the looks I get when a guy who comes in because he’s nearly taken a thumb off trying to change the cord on a weedwhacker realizes he’s got a pediatrician taking care of him. Unlike you, they don’t seem to realize I also went to med school.”

“They don't care what specialty you are, long as you’re a doc and you know it.” Reese skirted one of the two chars in front of Frerin’s desk to sink into it. “And honestly, you’re good down there, Frerin. Patients like you. The nurses like you. The students like you.”

“I’m not an ER doc and I have no desire to be one.”

“But you’re willing to open and run a pediatric ER.”

“That’s different. Look, Fritock is a jackass and I’m not answering to her. As long as I’m covering the ER, I don't have a choice. I run the pedes ER and I do have a choice. I’ll answer to you, but not her.”

“Yeah, no one likes her, but she’s competent and keeps that place running.” Reese rubbed his forehead and let out a low sigh. “So, can you cover Riley’s shift?”

“I don't have a choice, do I?”

“Sure you do. But say yes and I’ll see what else I can do about funding for the pedes ER.”

“That’s extortion, Jay.”

“I know. But we need you to cover the ER tonight. Your girlfriend just has to understand.”

“She already does, but damn… I was looking forward to tonight.”

“Just think of this as foreplay,” Reese said, rising from the chair. “The longer you make each other wait, the sweeter the payoff.”

“Get out of my office.”

“I owe you, you know.”

“Yes, you absolutely do!” 

Reese chuckled as he pulled the door closed behind him and Frerin swore softly beneath his breath as he overheard Reese flirting with Katie, as he did every time he came through the department.

“God damn it,” Frerin muttered, staring at his phone, lying face down on the corner of his desk blotter. The last thing he wanted to do was cancel on Elena again. 

With a low sigh, he reached for the phone and turned it over to toggle to his contacts, scrolling down until he reached her number, then tapped it. 

“Hey, I was just thinking about you.”

Elena’s purr sent a shiver along his spine even as his gut kinked. “What were you thinking, or do I not want to know?”

“Well, I was thinking about tonight. But,” a slight hesitation crept into her voice, “I have a bad feeling that tonight is in jeopardy.”

He leaned his head back, his eyes closing as he silently cursed out the irresponsible docs who thought nothing of calling out and left everyone else to pick up their slack for them. Christ, he was tired of it. “I’m sorry, honey, but—”

“You have to cover for someone in the ER again, don't you?”

Her voice was flat, which made his gut kink harder. Toni used to complain about the same thing. It was one of the constant sticking points in their relationship and the one that he couldn't fault her for having. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. But three docs called out and I’m here, so…”

“I understand,” she replied flatly. “Another time, then. It’ll keep.”

“I don’t like it any more than you do, but—”

“No, I get it, Frerin. You don't have to explain it.”

“I know you get it, and that’s what pisses me off,” he replied, drumming his fingertips against his desk. “Reese has me because he knows how important the pedes ER is to me and he uses it as leverage. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. But, I swear to you—”

“I know, and it’s okay. Like I said, it’ll keep for another time.”

“I’m sorry, Lena.”

“Don’t be. It comes with the territory.” She sighed softly. “Just give me a call when you do have a free day, I guess.”

His fingers went still. “Elena, you know I’d rather be seeing you tonight.”

“I know, but I also know that it’s silly to try to make any sort of plans because this seems to happen a lot. And I know it’s because you’re shorthanded and I know you don't have a lot of say in the matter, but it’s still aggravating as hell. So, before this devolves into a fight, just call me when you’re home and can actually get together, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to you soon, then.”

“I hope so. Bye.”

She clicked off and he tossed his phone back onto the desk with a muttered, “Fuck,” and sank back in his chair again, staring up at the ceiling. 

“It’s always the same thing, Frerin! We make plans and you cancel because someone else decides they don't feel like coming in to work and I’m tired of it. Work always comes before me. Before me. Before the kids. Before everything. Always!”

Those words, or some variation of them, were all too familiar, as Toni lobbed them in his direction more than once. And there was definitely truth to them. He’d missed school plays, school field days, sporting events, dance or band recitals—you named it, he’d missed it because he’d gotten stuck at the hospital. 

 Toni begged him for years to go into private practice. He’d make twice the money and work half the hours. No weekends. No overnights. He’d have time for family. He’d have time for her.

Maybe if he had gone into private practice, neither one of them would have fucked around on the other one. Maybe if he made the change now, he could keep his relationship with Elena from falling apart. 

Maybe.

In his top desk drawer, he found the business card a colleague had given him last summer, at a conference on Maui. A private practice not far from Sidleburg had been looking for docs and maybe—just maybe—they still were.

He stretched for his phone again and dialed.

“Good morning, Hunterdon Pediatrics.”

“Good morning. Is Dr. Mendham in?”

“Oh, I’m afraid she’s out of the office today. Can I take a message or put you into her voicemail?”

“Voicemail, please.”

“One moment.”

He waited for the automated greeting to wind down, then said, “Hi, Emilia, it’s Frerin Durin over at Sidleburg Memorial. I was wondering if you were still in the market for another pediatrician. Just give me a call back at your earliest convenience and maybe we can work something out. My number is…”

Elena sighed as she stood in the doorway of her bedroom, scowling at the overnight bag sitting, all ready to go, on her bed. In it, were the makings of a romantic night that would hopefully knock Frerin’s socks off (along with whatever else he happened to be wearing at the time) as per the Book of Heather. Brand new lingerie that would be relegated to the back of her closet because somehow, she had the feeling she was not going to hear from Frerin any time soon.

Work. 

Work was always the excuse. Work was why Dan was always late or had to travel. Then she realized work meant fucking a coworker. 

But Frerin was different.

Wasn’t he?

She sighed, leaning her head against the doorjamb. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t. She was just such a poor judge of character when it came to men. She saw what she wanted to see as opposed to who the guy in question actually was.

She wanted to see Frerin as a decent guy, interested in more than just getting off.

She wanted to see him as relationship material—faithful and upfront with her. And interested in more than just getting off.

But at the same time, he had a very convenient reason ready-made and always believable. And he was a guy, so maybe he wasn't interested in more than just getting off.

How depressing.

How infuriating.

Another sigh and she moved to swipe the bag up from her bed and all but threw it into the closet, then slammed the door. It made her feel better, but only for a minute. When the initial sense of satisfaction faded, she realized she felt rather empty. She’d been looking forward to seeing him again, especially to seeing if Heather’s prediction would come true. 

But it wasn't meant to be. 

****

The ER was a madhouse. For the better part of twelve hours, Frerin did nothing but run from one exam room to another. A three car pileup on Route Nine. A Christmas tree fire that brought a family of five in with various degrees of burns and smoke inhalation. Two emergency deliveries—one a C-section to boot—and seven merry makers not quite ready to let go of the season who  drank bad egg nog and were now currently hunched over emesis basins puking their guts out.

By seven o’clock, Frerin wasn’t certain he’d remember his own name if anyone asked. He sank onto the sofa in the doctor’s lounge, head back, a coffee mug in one hand, and as his eyes closed, he muttered, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“Dr. Durin?”

“He’s not here.”

“You’re needed in Curtain Three.”

He lifted his head and opened his eyes to stare at Carol. “Are you kidding me? I just sat down. First time since four o’clock. Christmas is over, why are they all still coming through here full of egg nog and candy canes?”

“Because some people don’t want the season to end, Dr. Scrooge.” She moved to the counter where the Keurig was and opened the cabinet to take out a Krispy Kreme pod. “But, I promise you, this one isn’t throwing up. At least, not yet.”

He swallowed a mouthful of coffee. “Is it at least someone under eighteen?”

She nodded. “Twelve year old. Possibly appendicitis. A real, live pedes case for you.”

“Wonderful.” He pushed up from the sofa with a crinkle of what had to be thirty year old naugahyde, and bowed his back with a low groan before setting his cup on the table. “Curtain Three?”

“Yeah. Holly is waiting for you.”

“Thanks.” He tugged open the lounge door and maneuvered his way through the sea of bodies toward Curtain Three. 

He paused outside the closed drapes that acted as privacy walls. “Jessica Mauro?”

“Come in.”

He stepped around the curtains to find a pale and tired-looking preteen girl in the narrow bed, and an equally tired looking older blonde woman sitting next to it. He looked over at Holly. “This my rule-out appy?”

Holly nodded. “She has lower right quadrant pain and a temp of one-oh-one. No vomiting but she’s tender to the touch.”

“Okay. Let’s take a look.” He took the chart and perused it briefly, then set it on the tray table. “Hi, Jessica. I’m Dr. Durin. You’re not feeling so well?”

She shook her head. “I feel like crap, to be honest.”

“Jessie!” 

“Sorry, Mom.” 

Frerin smiled, reaching for the box of gloves on the shelf near the bed. “It’s all right, Mrs….?”

“Mauro also.”

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve heard today, Mrs. Mauro. Tell me, when did the pain start?”

Jessica pursed her lips. “It’s been bugging me all day, but I thought it was just,” she case a side eye glance at her mother, “really bad cramps.”

A hint of color came to her cheeks as she said it and he moved closer to her bedside. “No worries. Do you mind if I take a look?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Good.” He tugged the hospital gown up and carefully pressed about the general area, freezing when she gasped and cried out at the same time. “Sorry about that, Jessica. There’s no other way to do that.”

“So, it’s her appendix?” Mrs. Mauro asked.

“It could be, but we need to rule out a few more things first.” He looked up at her. “Why don’t you go and get a cup of coffee while I chat with Jessica for a few minutes.”

Mrs. Mauro sat up straighter. “Is there something else it could be? Something I should worry about?”

“I didn't say that.” He glanced over at Holly. “Nurse DeLuca, could you show Mrs. Mauro where the coffee machine is?”

“Sure. Come with me, Mrs. Mauro. Dr. Durin only needs a few minutes.”

She looked over at her daughter, who said, “It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Five minutes, Mrs. Mauro,” he said, holding up one hand, fingers splayed out. 

He waited for Holly and Mrs. Mauro to leave, and then turned back to Jessica. “How old are you, Jessica?”

“Thirteen… well, I’ll be thirteen in two weeks.”

“My daughter’s thirteen. It can be a tough age.” He drew over the low stool and sank onto it. “So, you’re in sixth grade?”

“Seventh.”

“Seventh grade. I remember seventh grade.” He smiled. “Do you have a boyfriend, Jessica?”

She shrugged. “Kind of.”

“Kind of. Kind of how?”

“I don’t know. Just… kind of…” She twisted the blanket’s binding as she added, “Why?”

“Well, I just need a bit of history, to rule out anything else. And I can get another nurse to come in here if you’re uncomfortable with me. Or we can wait until your mom comes back, if you’d be more comfortable that way.”

“No, this is okay.”

“Good. I’m going to ask you a couple of questions that might be uncomfortable, but it’s really important that you’re honest with me, Jessica. Okay?”

 She nodded. “Okay.”

“When was your last period?”

“I told the nurse it was right around Thanksgiving.”

“Before or after?”

“Uh.. before, I think.”

“Okay, now when you say you have a boyfriend, are you doing anything with him?”

“Why?”

“Because there are certain conditions that present like appendicitis, but aren’t. And I need to rule them all out.” He pulled off his gloves to toss into the trash can. “So, are you doing anything with him?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Kissing or more?”

“More.”

He drew in a deep breath. “Are you and this boy having sex?”

She didn't answer at first, but a deep blush swept up along her cheekbones and she nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Are you using anything?”

“We used a condom.”

“Good. That’s good. Protect yourself. That’s the most important thing.”

“But it slipped off.”

“It slipped off?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah. He said he found it, though. You cannot tell my mom any of this. She will absolutely kill me if she finds out.”

“I’m not going to tell your mother, Jessica. Not without your permission.”

“Wait, you mean, you aren’t going tell me that my mom won’t kill me? That I should tell her?”

“Well, in a perfect world, yeah, you should tell her. But it’s your decision, not mine. You know your mother.”

Her dark eyes narrowed slightly. “Do you think I should?”

“Well, let’s wait and see what the problem is first, okay?”

“What do you think it is?”

“I want to run a couple of tests and it won’t take long.” He looked up as Holly and Mrs. Mauro came back. “Ah, perfect timing. Holly,” he rose from the stool and moved over to her, “let’s get a CBC, and urine dip and check the icon.”

Mrs. Mauro looked from Holly to him. “What are those?”

“Routine bloodwork. I’ll need your consent for them, though.” He took the chart from the tray and held it out. 

“Is one of them a pregnancy test?”

“It’s routine, Mrs. Mauro. All female patients of child bearing age are tested.” He held out a pen as well. 

“Why would you test a twelve year old girl?”

“Because twelve year olds who have already gotten their periods can get pregnant.”

“But my daughter is not—”

“It’s okay, Mom,” Jessica broke in quietly, the blush gone from her cheeks. “Just sign it, okay?”

“Jessie…” Mrs. Mauro turned to her, her eyes wide. “Are you telling me…?”

“Just sign. Please?”

“Oh, shit…” Mrs. Mauro muttered even as she scrawled her signature across the sheet. “You’re only twelve, Jess…”

Frerin looked over at Holly, whose eyebrows rose as Jessica said, “We were bored.”

“Jess!”

Jessica must’ve decided her mother wouldn’t kill her after all. Biting back a smile, Frerin turned to Mrs. Mauro. “I’ll be back as soon as those test results come in, okay, Jessica? If you start to feel any worse, just let Nurse DeLuca know and she’ll come find me.”

“Okay.”

Holly followed him to the edge of the curtain. “What are you thinking?”

Peering in at Jessica, he said, “I want to rule out an ectopic, just to be safe. So, put a rush on the bloodwork.”

“I’ll see what I can do. The lab is just as shorthanded as we are.”

“Well, tell them this is a Code Red and needs to be done before anything else. Tell them it’s a kid if you have to.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks.” 

They parted ways then and he wove his way back to the desk and the still-overflowing rack of charts. “Who’s next?”

Ashley looked up from the forms she thumbed through. “Take your pick, Dr. D. The waiting room is overflowing.”

“Any kids?”

She gave him a look. “I don’t memorize the charts. I just rack them.”

“Okay, okay. Yeesh…” He moved down to thumb through them. “Aha! Two year old with the croup. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in Exam One. I’m waiting on some lab results for Curtain Three, so can someone let me know the minute they land in my inbox?”

“I’m on it, Dr. D.”

“Thank you!”

“Dr. Durin? Lab results on your ectopic are in.”

Frerin looked up from the chart he was reviewing as Ashley held out the lab slip. “Thanks, Ashley.”

As he looked down, a heavy sigh came to his lips. Carol came around the corner of the desk. “Bad news?”

He looked up. “Twelve year old with an ectopic. Ashley, get OB on the phone for me?”

“Sure thing, Dr. D.” Ashely dialed the number and a moment later, held out the phone. “Dr. Miller’s covering.”

“Good.” He took the phone. “Randi, it’s Frerin Durin in the ER. I’ve got a twelve year old down here with an ectopic pregnancy that we need to take care of ASAP.”

“Damn, twelve…” Randi Miller let out a whistle. “Give me a few minutes to secure an OR and I’ll meet you up on Six once you get consent.”

“Great. I’ll have her there ASAP.”

“Sounds good.”

Frerin handed the receiver back to Ashley. “Do you know where Holly is?”

“I think she’s in Exam One.” Carol gestured toward the exam rooms down the hallway. 

“Okay.” He picked up Jessica Mauro’s chart and tucked the lab slip in with it, then made his way down to the exam rooms and poked his head in. “Excuse me, Holly, do you have a moment?”

She looked away from the elderly woman she was with and nodded. “I’ll be finished here in just a few minutes.”

“Okay. Meet me in Curtain Three?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks. Sorry to interrupt.”

The elderly woman smiled. “It’s no trouble. Feel free to interrupt again, if you like.”

Holly burst out laughing. “Mrs. Zwicker!”

“What? He’s cute.”

Frerin chuckled as he ducked back out of the exam room and wound his way back toward the Curtain areas. At Curtain Three, he said, “Jessica?”

“Yeah?”

He came around the curtain to find both Jessica and her mother looking even more exhausted now. “Your labs came back. Mrs. Mauro, would you mind giving us—”

“It’s okay,” Jessica said slowly, reaching for her mother’s hand. “You can say whatever it is.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “It’s okay. I already told her.”

He looked from mother to daughter. Mrs. Mauro certainly didn't look as if she was about to kill her daughter, so he took that as a good sign. “I’m afraid you have what’s called an ectopic pregnancy.”

She stared at him. “I’m pregnant?”

“Holy crap,” Mrs. Mauro whispered.

“Mom!”

“Okay, hold on,” he broke in softly. “You are, but instead if implanting in the uterus, the fertilized egg is in your fallopian tube.”

“So, do you need to operate to move it?” Jessica asked, her fingers visibly tightening about her mother’s.

“We do need to operate,” he said, “and I’ve already spoken with the OB on call and when we finish here, we’ll take you up to surgery, but I’m afraid we can’t move it, Jessica. It isn’t a viable pregnancy.”

“So, I’m having an abortion?”

“Is that really necessary?” Mrs. Mauro asked. 

“I’m afraid so, Mrs. Mauro. And it has to be taken care of as soon as possible to avoid any complications. So, I have a consent form I’ll need you to sign and—”

Mrs. Mauro stared at him. “And if I refuse to give it?”

“Mom!”

“Mrs. Mauro, under law, pregnancy emancipates Jessica, so she technically doesn’t need parental consent. However, it would make things easier for you both if you would.”

 Mrs. Mauro bit her bottom lip as Jessica broke in with, “But, I don't want an abortion, Mom. I—I want to keep the baby.” 

“It’s all right, baby,” she replied, smoothing Jessica’s sleep-matted dark hair away from her face. “This is different, okay. You’ll be fine.”

“Mommy… no…”

“Jessica, listen to me,” Frerin set the chart down and with his free hand, caught the stool to bring it to her bedside, “I know it’s kind of scary, but it really does need to be done. If we don’t operate quickly, your life could be in danger. Like I said, this isn’t a matter of choice. This has to be done.”

She shook her head. “I don't want to.”

“Jessie…” Mrs. Mauro cleared her throat. “Dr. Durin, could I speak with you outside?”

“Sure.” He rose and followed her from the exam area. “What is it?”

“Her father came into this hospital three months ago. He’d had a heart attack and his doctor told him he needed to have a stent put in, so he agreed and he died from complications of having it done.”

“I understand and I’m sorry for your loss, but this really is not something that can wait. It truly is a matter of time. If we don’t terminate, the fallopian tube can rupture and Jessica could hemorrhage to death if that happens.”

“No, I understand and I’m not fighting you on it. I just wanted you to understand why she is.”

“I do understand. And I don't blame her at all.”

“So, where is the consent form?”

“Inside.” He moved the curtain to allow her to pass by and once they were at Jessica’s bedside, he said, “I’ll go up with you, Jessica. Trust me, you’ll be in the best hands in the hospital. I promise.”

She didn't look entirely convinced. “Will you stay with me?”

Holly came into the room along with someone from Transport. “Dr. Durin, do you need me to go up with Jessica?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head, “I’ll go up with her. Why don't we and Mrs. Mauro, I can answer any questions you might have on the way.”

“Sure.”

Mrs. Mauro signed the consent and passed it back to him. “Will I be able to see her before she goes in? That’s really the only question I have.”

“You’ll be able to be with her until she does.” He took the form, tucked it in with Jessica’s chart and looked down at her. “Are you ready?”

Jessica didn't look ready at all, even as she nodded. “Okay.”

“You’re going to be just fine,” he told her, moving as the guy from Transport came around to unlock the wheels of Jessica’s bed.

“You ready, Miss Jessica? I’m Tony and I promise you, I won’t hit the bumps too hard.”

“I’m ready.”

He rolled her out and Mrs. Mauro turned to Frerin. “She looks so much younger than twelve.”

“They always do.”

“Do you have any children?”

“I have three. My daughter is just a little older than Jessica.”

“You can’t keep them safe, you know? You try and try and try, but… they are going to do what they’re going to do.”

“The important thing is communication, Mrs. Mauro. You keep those lines open, and you’ll be amazed at what happens.”

“Dr. Durin?” Jessica called over the top of her bed.

He fell into step alongside her. “What is it, Jessica?”

“Are you going to be doing my operation?”

“No. I’m not. Dr. Miller is and she’s really good. You’re in the best hands. I promise.”

“You never answered me about staying with me. Would you?”

“Dr. Durin?” Ashley poked her head around the corner. “You’ve got a drunk slip and fall waiting in Exam Four.”

“Get Zander to take it. I’m going up with my twelve year old.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be back down when she’s in Recovery.”

“Okay.”

He glanced down at Jessica. “I’ll stay until you go into surgery.”

“Thank you, Dr. Durin.”

He reached down to ruffle her hair as they all got onto the elevator and the doors slid shut. Reese would be pissed, but he’d get over it. And even if he didn’t, Frerin didn't care. 

[66sharkteeth]

Hi 66, I have a lot of thoughts sorry in advance! One of my favorite things about CoB is how the premise lays the groundwork for some really interesting angst, psychological horror, and identity crises. Today, when I was at work and thinking about CoB (as one does) a thought suddenly occurred to me. Bell and Rex are both interested in each other -- if they were to start dating, and Lyss found out about it, oh my god how would she even begin to process that???? (1/4)

Sharing the full thing bc I think it's good food for thought!

Honestly, I'm not sure I'm gonna give you the answer you're looking for though and might end up rambling with my own thoughts related to this. Because I can't really say much about Lyss and Bell's relationship yet, let alone each individual's with Rex. Except that Lyss did have romantic feelings for Rex, ones that she knows weren't ever requited bc of how she treated his kind before she knew he was one of them. Without those factors, Rex could have been interested back...and low and behold, he is, with Bell.

Honestly though, Bell and Lyss make me think about the argument that blanks are just a continuation of humans though. I see soooooooooooooo many comments (esp in earlier episodes) of people going like "why do people hate blanks? they're the same person." but no, they aren't, and Lyss and Bell are the most blatant example of that. Yes, they might look and act exactly the same, but Bell and Lyss are the PRIME example that when a blank takes your face, your consciousness and who you are STAYS with you (and usually dies), and a COPY of it is born. Lyss didn't suddenly wake up as Bell. She isn't Bell now that half her face was stolen. She isn't magically connected with Bell either, like they don't share a consciousness and read each others minds or anything. Lyss stayed Lyss when her face was stolen, and Bell was born as an (albeit incomplete) copy of her.

There is no difference in their situation than any other blank victim's, other than Lyss survived and Bell will never get 100% of Lyss' memories in her current state. But like that girl in the opening episodes? She didn't "become" a blank. A blank became her. And if Rex hadn't mercy-killed that blank, she'd be living pretty similar to Lyss now, still existing and living her life with a blank copy of her out somewhere. Just because most people die in the face stealing process, doesn't change anything.

Any of them who survive would end up essentially like Lyss and Bell, who everyone views as two very different people despite insisting that blanks are just the person whose face they stole, just now a different species.

Now, I do acknowledge this gets a little confusing and complicated when we got blanks like Claude and Charlie who were also Claude and Charlie as humans...but that's simply just a case of identity. Claude was Claude the human, then he became Claude the blank. But he will NEVER be Claude the human again. Claude the human is dead and Claude the human will never come back. However, he was comfortable with his former identity (plus he wanted to keep Claude the human's family and business ties), so he just decided to be Claude the blank when it came time to settle on his identity.

But then there's blanks like Desmond, who don't identify as their face at all. He took his face from Reese the human, and now Reese is dead and he is a blank named Desmond wearing a Reese skin. He will never be Reese, though, not even Reese the blank.

[beatrizamante]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction

Name: Lara "Raider" De Armas (she/her)

Personality: Sincere - Cautious - Friendly - Optimistic - Merciful - Shy 

Traits: Head - Independent - Resistant - Believer

Past Affinity: Astronomy 

Primary Ability: Extra Sensory Awareness 

Past Susceptibility: Healing

Job (if mentioned): Astrophysicist / Physics Researcher

Social Dynamics (for both books, so far): 

Bee

It was another "Winescope" Saturday night. That was the nickname Lara gave to the Saturday nights she'd call Bee, alongside her friends from the Observatory's Lab, and they'd discuss silly things, tell funny stories from the workplace while "getting alcoholed up" with good wine. She'd always invite Bee with the biggest hug and the hugest smile on her face. 

She was still flush from laughing about some silly story when the mail came in. Somehow, something was different. She read the mail with the same efficiency and calm she'd do with a particularly difficult academic book. The bright smile on her face died slowly. The flush gave away to a pale tanned face. There was a distant look in her eyes.

Later that day, when she apologized to her friends and said an emergency occurred, Bee stood there. They wouldn't leave her without understanding and supporting their friend. Lara would always tell them they are the sweetest person in this world. 

She explained the content of the letter, trying to give a very fragile smile to sooth them from any worries. 

And now, after they came to help her with her load and everything happened, she'll take their load off of them. 

She'll protect Bee with her life. And she dares anyone to try and hurt them. She shouldn't put them in this position in the first place. It's her fault. 

It always is. 

I'm sorry, Bee. You are an amazing person. 

if(tentative_ro = "Beckett") {

You're my best friend. I won't jeopardize that. 

But know that you are loved. 

}

S. Dorran 

It was weird seeing S again, after such a long time. Lara has vague memories from her childhood. Maybe too much information can do that to one's mind, alongside trauma. 

But Lara does remember fondly of their reading nights at Turn the Page. And she'd always smile when S spoke up their opinions in class. It's something she really admired about them. 

Even with their taciturness, she'd always love to talk with them about any subject. They were always filled with wonder on how things worked, just as she was. 

That didn't change. They are the same quiet, extremely smart person she remembers. And she still can talk about any subject with them and just have fun talking. 

She hopes they like her as much as she adores them. 

Thank you for looking out for Pa. I don't know how I'll ever repay you, S. 

if(tentative_ro = "Silas") {

What is this? Why do I want your company so much? This is normal right? RIGHT?? 

Don't look at his lips, Lara! 

}

R. Verner 

Lara could never understand exactly why R took an interest in her. They were an heir, and she wasn't a competitive child by any means. But the competitions were really fun, and something she looked forward to. 

Funny that they didn't know how to react when she proposed a hug challenge. Huh. She'd study that reaction later on. If R wanted to call her a "rival", she didn't mind. 

But she did call them her friend. She was really shy during the debates, though. R could have some sense and try not to mess with her so much. But she adored that in them too.  

It was interesting seeing them again. They said they've waited for her? They seem so much more patient with her now. She'll never be able to figure them out completely, will she? Lara hopes R didn't felt so alone as they look now, behind all the teasing smiles.

She can't pick everything apart in the lab to try and understand them, not with people she cares about. 

I'm sorry for leaving in such a difficult time, R. And I'm sorry you got hurt. I'll hunt down whoever did this, so they'll never have a chance to do it again. 

if(tentative_ro = "Reese") { 

Oh... Oh... OH...! Was that a "date"? Nonononono, my biggest love is the lab. My biggest love is the lab... his eyes are so blue and - LABLABLAB }  

J. Corvin 

JJJ, Lara missed you so much! So much. She missed all their nights reading comics and days just enjoying each other's company. Her memories from bike rides around lakes, of them cooking together with their mother or just basking in the sun eating oranges are so soft. 

She missed their quiet company that would come alive whenever she was near. They were there with her when she discovered her passion for the stars. They learned to use a telescope together, and they would do Math marathons to learn more about charting while hiding under blanket forts.

She'd always pester them about everything going on her mind. And she insisted that they got the puzzle chrome part first, but they'd always put her first. 

Something changed. There's something so guarded and angry about their posture now. Detective work must be so heavy on them. She wishes she could help ease their burden.

There are still softness in their eyes when they meet hers. But also there's a distance that she can't fix. 

She can't fix everything. That much is clear. But it hurts. They never got her letters. That's why they have this cold anger whenever Pa is mentioned? 

She should have tried harder. It haunts her the image of J following Pa's truck. Lara tried to reach out, but her hands only met glass. 

if(tentative_ro = "James")  {

This crush is old. Very very old. I'm not someone that has crushes anymore. So, ignore it, Lara. Don't look at his shoulders, or how his hands could - 

I SAID DON'T LOOK.  

}

Mal 

Oh, who is this? Did Lara meet him before? She doesn't remember him from her childhood memories. But then again, her memories are... off... 

What is this man? He knows so much, behind those enigmatic eyes. Why does she feel naturally pulled towards him? Lara doesn't understand... But she likes that he's kind. Even if it must hurt to smile like that all the time. 

She wants to understand. He looks like so much more, a real... puzzle. She loves puzzles. 

He does seem to enjoy giving her little jumpscares, because she is always jumping whenever he appears. Was very kind of him to bring her some tea after the forest search. It was a taxing night. 

And he has a very interesting nickname! Curious... what an observing and unnerving man. Charmer, huh?

Let me in, I can help you if you wish so, Mal. 

if(Mal_Romance = true) {

He looks really good. Haven't I noticed it before? Not that I usually do, but... Wait, why am I looking? It's disrespectful!! 

He has a very beautiful smile when he's genuine, I wonder what would be if I ki-

PositivethoughtsPositivethoughtsPositivethoughtsPositivethoughts... WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS? AHHHH 

}

Annnd I did a playlist for her. Yeah, I feel in an RPG rn.

About the Game and Lara herself:

First of all, I'd like to say a big thanks for @lacunafiction for this wonderful story. I'd give 139823274763254 positive reviews in every available platform because this story is awesome, eerie as hell, mysterious and romantic too. 

If you guys have any interest in an amazing IF, I'd recommend Fernweh saga. I might be a little addicted right now and I did intend to start using this blog for something, so this something is going to be to recommend wonderful IFs <3 

You can find the first book alongside the Patreon in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/lacunafiction/705620629743976448/some-homecomings-feel-more-like-rude-awakenings?source=share

Much love for this amazing author (*whispers* marry me, Aelsa) <3 

Second, I'll gush a little about my little poor meow meow of a Dodo. 

I just love how personalities are well written in this game , and that is what made me write this wall of text in the first place. The narrative is very fact-based, and something that I really loved, so I decided to make my MC a Head-oriented person with a science job, very unaware of her own emotions, but very observant and caring about others. 

It's a nice juxtaposition for me. 

Someone that is fiercely independent (believes the "teamwork makes the dream work!", tho), but is very shy and sweet. 

Someone that is very head oriented, relies heavily on facts, but is incredibly friendly -a Dodo- (I love that in book 2 you have more joking options that are not so based in snark. Don't get me wrong, I love snarky humor and is greatly written here, but somehow the "... A metal mistress?" gets me every time <3) 

Someone that is highly cautious, but oh boy, she is resistant as hell. She'll NOT bow down to anyone (except her Uni professors) and she'll face any fears head on. Whoever dares to hurt her or the people she loves will get hunted. But in a cold and calculating way.

I loved the Extrasensory Awareness, and it's even better that it is an *instinct*. Again, for someone who heavily relies on facts, it's funny to me. "Why do I feel like this????" 

I didn't give Lara abandonment issues because she believed that her Grampa was trying to not lose her too. Even if in a very unhealthy way. She did fill her life with science and stars, building it up around the profession she fell in love with when a child. All thanks to J. It's a string that links her to her past. But she thinks that's all she can bring to the world. And she fear how coldly she can assess things, how unattached she can be with her own emotions when she is under pressure..     

She's a moderate believer. Well, she couldn't exactly discount the walking tree, when it was walking right in front of her. That, my friend, is a fact. 

Guilty gnaws at her. She feels guilty for bringing Bee here. She feels guilty for leaving J and R. Guilty over S being so perturbed about the city borders. Guilty about her whole family, who had to suffer such horrific deaths while she still walks this world. That's why she fills her life with her job. A starry sky is a graveyard of stars, is it not? Maybe they are watching over her. 

And she is angry. Oh boy, she is livid. Who the fuck thinks they can do whatever they want with the people she loves? No one can mold her into a clay sculpture and expect her to just cave. She built her life mostly alone, and she'll not have that.  

And overall, it's just very interesting to me to see Lara, a nerd, lab addicted scientist, who is deadly curious to understand everything in this world to be in this eerie place filled with mysteries and people she adores, falling in love for the first time and NOT KNOWING HOW TO COPE WITH IT.  

She'll be the only MC that I'll play in this game because I really loved her personality. But if I had to choose a main RO, possibly it would be Mal because of the scientist X mystery idea. I chose all 5 of them, tho. MUAHAHHAA 

And well, she is based on Lara Croft, as is abundantly clear. She is a very intelligent and curious woman, who goes to great lengths to discover mysteries and is very protective of the people she cares about (Jonah <3). This one, tho, is way softer than Croft <3  Aah a pin for her in Pinterest <3 https://br.pinterest.com/badgirlcs/lara-raider-de-armas/