#i certainly annoyed myself

[innitmarvellous]

So, after satisfying my educational needs by reading a bunch of books about asexuality (with mixed success, as some weren't very helpful) and trying to connect with the community on Tumblr (with no success, probably won't try again because memes about garlic bread and subjugating whole countries aren't very funny to me) I can finally go back to ignore and repress this issue in peace, haha.

I still greatly dislike it and yeah, I would give a lot to change it if I could - especially since people told me before that I'm unable to love (in an insulting way, not just as a fact) and I desperately wanted to prove them wrong. But alas, I can't change it. No one can, and sometimes you just have to swallow it and face the facts. So I guess I'll just have to learn how to feel like just having myself is good enough and get used to a life of solitude. I still dread the thought even now, but I consider myself a practical person...so if there's no way around it there's also no need to cry about it any longer, right? (And who am I kidding, I wouldn't have found a partner anyway :D) Still, that comes with the knowledge that a part of me will always be unhappy, which is not that nice, but there's nothing to be done about that either :/

Anyway, the people who followed me for other things will probably be happy to hear this...I must have been such an annoyance, lol. There might be one or two related posts in my queue (can't remember rn, but it's possible), but that's it. Time to go back to more important things, aka fandom stuff!

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[bittersweetresilience]

how do you write so many fics for one ship? i respect your dedication so much, but for me, i just can't think of that many ideas :( do you have a prompt list or something you use?

ohh anon that's such a good question!! and i completely relate, actually. after i'd written my first 30k for renjing i thought i was done. then i thought i was done again at 45k, then 60k, then 100k, then 250k, and i still kind of feel like i'm done now. but magically, i've still kept writing 🤣 don't limit yourself... as long as you keep thinking about them and sharing with others, the ideas will keep coming 🙏

as for concrete pieces of advice... the first i can give you is just not to worry about writing the same thing! i've written almost a dozen stabbing related fics now... if you find an idea you like, you don't have to let go of it after you write it once. you still like it, don't you!! when i get a craving for the same thing i sometimes reread my fics, but sometimes i'm like. well, that was good, but i kind of want a different flavor of this cake now. so i'll write it again and just add a different side ingredient. switch the pov. make it a modern au. change it from 'forced to do it' to 'did it of own volition but regretted it'. change it from 'this person found him' to 'that person found him'. or just injure a different part of the body 😌 i'm always interested in something, and so there are a million ways to engage with that thing again and again!

as for new ideas... the absolute best advice i can give you is to engage with other people's works!! read fics. read headcanons. read unfinished fics. read fics that aren't even about your ship, and then make them about your ship. make friends with an author and get in their dms and absorb their ideas and then give them your own spin!! half of my ideas and spontaneous fic inspirations come from either talking to my friends or reading other people's fics. if you read a fic of mine that ended tragically and you want to give it a happy ending? give it a happy ending!!! if you read a crack fic and thought it could be a little more angsty? add the angst into it!!! it's free real estate... we're here to share and get excited together and be inspired by each other. sometimes i even read jing yuan fics that aren't renjing and then i take the premise and make it renjing* :33

*i awkwardly feel like i can't post these fics, not because it's not allowed but because i am usually too shy to ask the author and list them as inspiration, but i can still have fun writing and so can you.

and thirdly... never be afraid to go back through your own fics 🙏 all the time i leave drabbles or concepts unfinished and then i go back and add a sentence to them every month or i reread them and then i get a new related or even unrelated idea... your brain is precious. believe in it!!! and even if you don't have ideas right now, just give it time. look out in the real world. watch a random movie and think about a crossover. and even if you really really can't think of anything to write... don't beat yourself up about it. you're still valued just as you are. as long as you're having fun 🥰

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

god fucking damn it

[friend-of-a-cat]

The Gender Crisis™ is still Gender Crisising™ but I don't have time for that right now lmao.

[adjit]

tag nine (9) people you’d like to know better

Tagged by @misspickman thank you!!

Last song: When I first saw the tag post it was “I wanna know what love is” by Foreigner (shoutout to my baby boy Nova <3 it was on his playlist), but between seeing the tag and actually making this post I did watch that Bad Apple r/place video so technically it’s Bad Apple. I just felt that was too obvious.

Currently watching: Ummm… things I’m in the middle of… My Adventures With Superman. Gotham, technically (we dropped off somewhere in season 2 like a year ago), and also CW Supergirl, technically (I’m only about 4 episodes in and it’s been months).

And then my anime Tuesday watch party rotates through a whole list of them so I am in the middle of uh… Komi Can’t Communicate, To Your Eternity, Bocchi the Rock, Kaguya-sama Love Is War, Natsume Yuujinchou, Witch From Mercury, and Blood Blockade Battlefront.

Also Miraculous Ladybug. Back to watching that just bc I was too happy I guess and needed something to scream about.

Currently reading: I just finished both This Is How You Lose The Time War and The House in the Cerulean Sea (I liked both, would recommend) but haven’t picked up anything new on the novel front, though next up is These Are Not The Trinity Papers. Because it's sitting on my desk now so I guess it's next.

Comics front I’m still working my way through Young Justice ‘98 and Tim’s Robin run, plus currently keeping up with Poison Ivy, City Boy, Spirit World, Green Arrow, and Batman and Detective Comics. And SMOT. And actually haven't read the last TDR, which I was keeping up with (do not recommend, unless you're like me and just want to look at pretty pictures of Tim; it's not bad per se just so deeply middling). I’ve gotten a couple months behind because I’ve been busy with new job and travel and friends… OH ALSO I did just pick up Batman/Superman World's Finest Vol 1. from the library, so that's also On The List (the list is so god damn long).

Current obsession: DC for sure, for better or for worse. I’m sure you couldn’t tell from my other answers on this. (I didn’t even mention the DC video games I’ve been playing...)

Tagging… @milfkon @loisinherlane @domokunrainbowkinz @lesbitchin if y’all wanna do it

[rozeoverdose-main]

I really wanna talk with this one person and send them cool stuff but i'm scared to dm them bc i'm worried they'll think i'm annoying

[averinthine]

summary of my personal history with religion

[irregularbillcipher]

so my new job just changed its company policy. before a merger with another company, 32 hours a week counted as full time-- now it's 36. my hours are no longer full time :) (<- nauseated)

[aeide-thea]

lol just found out the former owner of this property has been surveilling all our mail via usps's informed delivery service, to which he still has access because he never bothered to file a change of address with them even though it's been literal years at this point, and so now i get to put 'calling the post office to get him kicked off because what the actual fuck' on my to-do list for the day!

also: i found this out because he emailed my dad an image of a piece of mail he wants us (me) to forward to him. flames on the side of my face.

[thehightiefling]

i've seen all over people complaining about Bellara being annoying

but i love her so much and have a lot of similarities

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

The way I forget that I’m on my period until I have a day like today where the cramp pain I’ve adjusted to but it’s now bloating that is my main issue and I was going to be productive until it hit and I’ve realised nothing is gonna get rid of this except lying down for a nap with a hot water bottle

[each-uisge-enthusiast]

period cramps are the price i must pay for slaying this hard ig

[darthgender]

being so so good at expressing to my partner that I was upset by something they did and then feeling worse when they don't respond in the exact way I want them to and then feeling evil and manipulative for continuing to tell them how sad I am haha my brain has a broom and is hitting me with it repeatedly

[tealfruit]

this is true but can I also just add that like. how about we go a step further and don't worry if transmasculinity is a choice or not. the whole "gender isn't a choice so we shouldn't punish people for who they are" is a great sentiment to start off with, but what about the people who did choose their gender? do we punish them for making the "wrong" choice, or for having the "wrong" reason? or do we remember that bodily autonomy is a thing and that we have no say over other peoples' identities. and, also, that being a man is completely morally neutral. i s2g people need to get over their whole man-hating and/or bioessentialist mindsets and just let men be dudes in peace. whether they chose to be or not.

Transmasculinity is treated as a choice by everyone outside our specific community and I am sick of it. If transmasculinity was a choice I would choose it again, but it isn’t and it’s been used to try to say something shitty about us over and over. Cishet transphobes say we chose it because we’re mentally ill and taking it out on our bodies. Cis lesbian transphobes say we’re gender traitors responding to misogyny and lesbophobia by giving up womanhood and trying to become straight. Cis gay transphobes say we’re trying to trick gay men into sleeping with women. Trans transandrophobes say we just wanted to move up a rung in the patriarchy and use our male privilege to step on transfems. Consider that I’m literally just some guy trying to live my life without any ulterior motives or whatever.

[jazzband22]

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