#and i certainly dont understand how anyone else tolerates it

[jazzband22]

.

[vampirewhohuntsvampires]

Hmm, i was like talking about some tv show tropes regarding fat people and romance and kind of unironically connecting some dots into my complex feelings of like romance and self-esteem and how I think being fat has effected it. So I'm just like preaching to the void, and the choir here. read at uour own risk oooo ahhhh

I think in regards to romance, racism, and fat phobia have like affected me so deeply. I mean, yeah I'm autistic, and I struggle with social cues in general, but I genuinely think growing up as a societal 'undesirable' has like definitely altered the way I view and think about myself. I mean, there were just certain truths I had to come to peace with when I was younger, that a handful of people won't want you because you're black. An even bigger group of people won't want you because you're fat. You're the girl everyone tells you they kill during fuck marry kill (Like that's a normal thing to say.) You get rejected by the people you like because you're nice, but you're not all that pretty. Or pranks people pull, when they tell you someone likes you but it's not true. And they both know it's not true.

And that's fine, I guess. Honestly, I have no hard feelings in the present day about what we did in middle/high school. On the bright side, I think I'm like ridiculously good at taking rejections in stride. On the downside, I think it definitely left me struggling to understand or even piece together when someone is interested in me. I think deep down, there's still that very strong belief that I'm like not something to be desired.

“You aren't someone that people would want, so you really shouldn't be surprised when people don't want you.” It was, and kind of has still been some sort of fucked up survival mantra I've held onto. I honestly used to just sit there and take it, when people told me I wasn't someone that people could fall in love with. Or feel attracted too or whatever. I just thought they were right, and it meant I'd have to settle for someone who could at least tolerate me. And I think I convinced myself to think that way just so I could make sense of and make peace with the way people talked about me.

And like it's different now, I very much have people who love me and people who are in love with me (hahha hiii if uore here). But I genuinely think it's rotted my perception of others, not beyond repair but it definitely requires some TLC. Like even though I'm not in the situation anymore, (well vaguely). I don't think I notice that many signs of people being into me because I genuinely struggle to fathom the situation in which I'm something to be wanted.

( i think theres like other ways, you can be unwanted. I have certainly experienced it RIP!!!!!! but this is not about that !!! ) Like, I don't know I can think I'm hot but I also have a lot of bad days when I want to cover up because I'm embarrassed of the space I take up. Or when the devil starts talking in my ear about how I'd look better if I lost weight, how I could wear stuff I've been too scared to wear, how id have an easier time transitioning (if at all), how people could like me more.

And, sure I do what I can. I contest those thoughts. But honestly, it's hard. I don't know what else I can do. I know self-love starts with you but jesus does the hate from others make that thang hard. It doesn't help that talking to people about this, who aren't fat about it is like genuinely the most humiliating experience ever. It's so embarrassing to tell people that I still experience issues with my body because I feel like this is one of those things I shouldn't handle for myself. clutches head. Honestly if anyone read this far and uou know any tips... on unlearning this sort of stuff. i would love to hear it.

I know that again, it starts with me and I shouldn't seek out this sort of affirmation from other people. But dear lawrd. I dont have a real ending to this it was just me trailing off in thought. but i might continue it if i gain a braincell

[the-heaminator]

22 for the Isa prompt- canukr with Alfred interrupting them? 🤭

A kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party

Alfred bro let your brother vibe pls, just bc you cant get laid easily due to your bf being more repressed than thou dont mean you have to interrupt him. Quite short but I think I got the point across

The party was like how all parties between them went, many were drunk, and a good proportion was high, where these illicit substances had come from could be a few culprits, all of which were in either a different dimension or a different room to ah, protect their privacy if you would, not that most of them would mind doing it out in the open, more to save the eyes of anyone not blacked out enough to forget it.

There was a lot of food, a lot of terribly off-key singing, and sloppy dancing ranging from misstepped waltzes to what really just looked like slow dancing as they hugged (this was with Spain and Austria by the way should you wish to question it) and whatever the fuck the Kirkland brothers were doing before them and a few others were told to get a room or multiple rooms, looked a bit like a foxtrot though it could've conceivably been anything at this point.

Anyways, Matthew was a lil tipsy, and that was not an overstatement, he had managed to successfully pace himself so right about now he was unlikely to do much stupid, Katya, Yekaterina his beautiful girlfriend, was currently doing shots, and she was doing it well, she had managed to drink Jack under the table, not all that difficult to be fair, but she could still easily co-ordinate herself, and so she went onto Czechia, this would be far far harder, in his experience old-timey Europeans had absurdly high alcohol tolerance, which only got higher as you entered the east, but she managed to win too, all in a good game, they were both incredibly tipsy, and Czchia forfeited only at the concerned and vaguely motherly prodding of Slovakia who really did not want to carry his ex-wife home with her face in a bucket again, they had a wobbly arm wrestle to finish, which understandably Ukraine won, though Czechia put up far more of a fight than anyone else usually does, she got beat, but god naturedly, and wobled off leaning heavily on Slovakia, not like she would say that but like, everyone knew despite being legally divorced they were still very much a couple.

Katya was drunk, she could still stand of course, but was certainly a lot less stable than she normally was, and ended up leaning on Matthew for quite a whole, before he was eventually coaxed into the kitchen for some water, to hydrate her and help her sober up, not really an option anymore but I appreciate the attempt Matthew, when tipsy he was a tad less repressed, as all his family was.

Well Katya was certainly feeling loving right now, and as the two were alone in the kitchen she had an idea, or more so she had the idea for a rather long time beforehand, just now was the perfect time to execute it.

It may not look it to first glance but Katya was strong, quite strong, and strong enough to pin Matthew to one of the cabinets quite resolutely, he squeaked like a dog toy before he was silenced by a kiss planted firmly on his lips, a rather interesting sound came from the both of them, and since Matthew was leaning back now, and Katya was pretty tall meaning that she barely had to stretch either, ok that was a lie, Matthew was a bit too tall for that, but it certainly wasn't as much as usual, and she was wearing heels, well she was, where they went was a bit of a mystery, they'd turn up in the morning, but right now all Matthew's and indeed Katya's brain was fixated upon was each other, she had started to glide her hands over Matthew's soft body, he had his long fingers on her shoulders as she squished into him more, they were both in heaven, an alcohol gazed heaven but one nonetheless.

That being said they werent far gone enough yet to not hear the door open, Alfred went to go check on them, they'd been in there a while, and Zee had come along, to get bread for Jack who was getting incredibly close to the type of drunk that gets him stuck up a tree mostly naked with a goat a snake and half a potato (raw), bread usually helped sober him up just a bit, the door opened and their modesty compromised, Alfred gasped like a religious aunt finding one of the nephews seeing meat before marriage, Zee wolf whistled, she was also a little tipsy and I mean everyone knew that Matt was a hoe, this shouldn't have been a big deal, Alfred was just being weird about it.

Katya close enough to snarled and grabbed Matthew hard and glared at the two in the doorway, Alfred hightailed ot outta there while Zee, who did know how to deal with drunk old-worlders pretty well, raised both her hands, where she could see them, got the bread, and left, Matthew's face was absolutely covered in smooch marks and he looked absolutely flustered that what he could consider an adoptive sister was seeing him, ah, getting it down, and worse being that she was incredibly chill about it, left with her bread, and told them to get a room, before leaving and closing the door like nothing had happened.

Ahem, lets just say that it escalated quite a bit, no one else interrupted them, and Matthew came out of that kitchen a different man than he went in, they did indeed get a room after they were done, but to do nothing else but sleep, cuddled up to each other, that counter had to be cleaned thoroughly numerous times by Alfred before he ever put food on it again, that image would not leave his mind. As for Zee's endeavours, Jack still got stuck up a tree with a goat but he was mostly clothed and neither the snake nor half the potato was up there, so a bit of an improvement if anything.

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami anon x4 but you bring up a lot of really interesting points abt like subcultures / attitudes and also more personal life stuff I never thought about b4! In my head the kinda headcanon justification I made for myself was like the idea Minami used to be formerly realllyyyyy low on the yakuza ladder and as thus kinda just acted like a robot / as dully competent as possible (he wouldn’t drink because What If that affects his ability to Do Anything etc) and so on and Internally Really Wanting To Live A Much different life / be more important then just Another Guy In this Organisation. Which is why he clings so hardcore onto emulating Majima who IS someone eye catching and attention grabbing and to him Important. I think my main basis for this is all of the times Minami in like fight scenes acts really dramatically and even when he loses tries to insist on Keeping On Fighting UNTIL Majima walks in and Minami completely shuts down and just lets him Do As He Does. Sorry if this is a rly big deviation I didnt have a lot to respond to your previous answer outside of I think it’s all really interesting especially the stuff in tags regarding his tattoos (who is she fr!) and if this were a situation where we were having a more private one on one conversation i'd nod very enthusiastically

HAHAHA i know this feeling. thank u for indulging me either way anon and idm the deviation it's like waving a new set of keys in front of my adhd ass. passionate conversations with me derail all over the place i'm very used to it ^_^

and i really like your point about him not wanting to blend in, wanting to Stick Out as a Somebody. it would not phase that kind of Minami if drinking + whatever else was the norm amongst his peers. perhaps it was influence from Majima that convinced him to drink after all........ its certainly what i like to think....... makes their stupid toxic dynamic hurt a little more

and i am so glad u also noticed the way he refuses defeat every chance he gets it literally plagues my thoughts the most.... i think about it sooooo much so so soo much. it's definitely an ego thing + just another nod to Minami's utter reverence of Majima. he goes from being pretty emotional and throwing a tantrum when you Throw Off His Groove™ but forgoes doing what he wants the second the bossman gives the order. Boss' word takes all priority, regardless if you're stupid, or emotional, or whatever else.

I love picking this apart trying to discern their dynamic but it also reflects on how Majima is with his men in general..... I've yet to see any of his boys defy him. And for good fucking reason (insert montage of him smacking around his own men)........ Minami also kindof reflects this in how he strings along a bunch of his fellow Family men to watch him fuck around on the karaoke machine, who CLEARLY don't want to be there but tolerate him regardless! I'd like to think he doesn't randomly assault them though. Not over small shit anyways, he seems pretty lenient and understanding (see: "shit happens"). He's probably just very obnoxious when ribbed, as he is in many other aspects. Or hell, maybe he shuts down and gets so bummed out that its obnoxious in a really cringefail pitiful way

Ideally Majima's garnered respect not strictly through violence.... We have all seen how personable he can be and how he got himself roped into helping random folks all over in y0. Ideally Minami even less so, if he is as lenient as he seems. Which leads me to asking what's up with his title, "junior leader"? What the fuck even is that? Surely it doesn't bring all that tolerating respect with it yknow. I dont think anyone else in the series is a JL. We're not particularly clued in to how Yakuza life actually works in the game about Yakuza, but you can bet I can pull ideas out of thin air to tie stuff together if given scraps

Least likely in my opinion: JL is literally a next-of-kin for a leader position in the Family, possibly for patriarch itself, which implies a much closer relationship between Minami & Majima than we're ever clued into. i'm also not so sure it suits him (though i can pull arguments for it out of thin air as well if you want) since he really seems like the kinda guy happy doing his regular grunt work. brother is not patriarch material imo...... not for what i personally believe a patriarch's duties are, anyways.

Funnier option: he got the role to be appeased. you mentioned that you think he wants to Be Somebody and i completely headcanon-same..... this scrappy little shitkicker kid waltzed in one day, hounded someone until they let him join, and has been gunning for respect ever since. not necessarily power, i'd like to think he wants to be well-liked, but also, it's totally an approval-from-the-father thing. he wants to do good enough for Majima to Notice. since Minami wouldn't know subtlety if it socked him in the face, it's not difficult in the slightest to see this and he gets thrown a Special Role because he's just the most Specialest Boy Ever.... in this case Junior Leader probably just reflects stuff he was already good at while working. Couldve been a socialite amongst the new kids on the block, could even be a trainer. Higashiyama and Nojiri (Dead Souls Majimagumi) seem to imply that recruiters and their recruitees generally work one-on-one and get to know one another pretty well, but that could easily just be a Them thing. I'm sure there's plenty of newbies who get recruited by already-busy blokes.... fuck it, have Minami show them the ropes, get em ready ASAP and keep it going......... yknow that type of thing

[kettsuper]

this is going around again so here is some verse lore bc why not?

(copied/pasted from twitt)

vanitas is given his own body and a chance to be his own person thanks to sora and the castle scientists. not that he asked.

and off he goes to the land of departure, since he feels owed a place there. it obviously does not work out.

but while he’s there, his new heart has space for a lot more than just darkness and anger. unfortunately, he would like to be feel like he belongs - especially as he sees ventus so joyful in being loved by terra and aqua.

they tolerate him but they clearly dont want him there.

the more he feels chafed the more he wants to f*ck them up, which would certainly have him expelled and/or beaten to a pulp.

he’s still strong, but this new form is much more human and *weak* compared to what he’s used to. he has to think of new ways to get what he wants.

which feels pretty unfair. he didn’t ask for this form, and he didn’t ask for the space allowed in his heart for things that aren’t darkness. it’s confusing and enraging and he starts leaving for days on end.

no one asks or even seems to notice.

—

the moment isa retires to his room for the night, he can sense another, familiar presence.

“can i help you?” he asks, continuing into his space. “i was just about to make tea.”

“i don’t want your tea.”

“then is there something else i can do for you, vanitas?”

he’s only met with silence. that’s fine. he goes and gets the electric kettle going, but vanitas has vanished before it boils. he decides it’s best not to tell anyone.

two nights later he’s already in his room when the dark portal opens behind him, but he finishes his page before turning around.

vanitas has his helmet on. for intimidation? protection? isa is loathe to fight in his room.

“you’re back. i assume you need something from me.”

“i don’t.”

“ah. a friendly visit for your old colleague?”

“i guess. i have questions.”

isa gets up from his desk and brings his cup over to the chairs and side table, taking one of the seats. after a lengthy hesitation, vanitas takes the other.

he asks about xehanort, predictably. isa has no issues sharing all he knows, until the questions become a bit more personal.

why did he betray the boss? how did he get accepted by the others? vanitas clearly picks up on his hesitation and vague answers, because he gets angry and disappears shortly afterwards, leaving most of his tea behind.

isa still keeps this to himself. mostly.

at breakfast the next day, naminé states it sounded like isa was having a conversation with someone. isa agrees that he was, but naminé doesn’t ask with who and he’s grateful. either she’s overly respectful or she knows exactly who it was.

this continues for a few weeks.

vanitas invites himself over, drinks isa’s tea, and leaves. sometimes they talk. if isa asks anything about vanitas it’s very unpredictable as to whether or not he gets an answer.

eventually he calls ven and finds a way to ask how it’s going with vanitas without being obvious.

he finds out it’s been a while since ventus has seen the guy, that his few belongings are gone and any attempt to reach out has been unsuccessful.

so who knows what vanitas is up to when he’s not breaking in to isa’s room, but isa doubts it’s working for him.

isa has been cautious not to share that vanitas has been coming around. it’s like he’s a scared animal, way too weary and easily spooked. he tests isa often, as though trying to provoke isa into kicking him out or getting angry. it doesn’t work, but isa can’t deny feeling frustrated from time to time. yet even when vanitas calls him names, steals his tea and even pelts a full mug across the room, isa does not show his anger.

maybe the kid reminds him too much of himself at his lowest point, and maybe he’s growing more sure that whatever vanitas is upset about, it’s understandable he is struggling. they’ve all been caught up in someone else’s game and now they’re just trying to figure out their lives on the other side of it.

after he feels he has gained some trust, he seeks out naminé. after all, she lives here too. he barely gets a few words out before she’s suggesting vanitas simply move in to their spare room, considering he’s around so much. (she’s curious and can also relate to not knowing where she belongs)

relieved, isa works with her to clear the space and set up at least a bed. they don’t want to make any assumptions, so they’ll probably just help with other furnishings if he does move in.

the next time vanitas shows up, which is that night because he’s there for tea like clockwork these days, isa wastes no time in stating that vanitas should move in.

it’s not even really a question. more like a “you should take the spare room” that sounds expectant and a hell of a lot kinder than vanitas feels he deserves.

after a long pause he mutters his agreement. instead of disappearing through a corridor that night, isa walks him down through the townhouse, a mini tour of sorts, and shows him the room he can have. the bed is basic but it has pillows and sheets and vanitas sleeps on something comfortable for the first time in a while.

and that’s how he winds up in twilight 😇

ohana means family, and family means no one is left behind or forgotten

[mythiccheroacademia]

Happy New Years Hotties!!!

hey :) i know your dash is flodded with beautiful new year’s posts and i just wanna pop in and add my own little thank you note. if you read nothing else, at least read this.

after the year we just had, you deserve some big gross romantic declaration of love and then a new year’s kiss. so lemme just say i love you and give you a smooch. you survived all 365 days and that’s some real hot girl shit. thank you for being you. i’m shaking some metaphorical ass for you bc you are that bitch

wishing nothing but inner peace, self love, confidence, happiness, big moneyyy and all the pretty bitch shit you could ever want in life <3

now that that’s over, wanna see me be a cornball beneath the line?

i’ve attempted to write this an embarassing amount of times. so now im forced to write this 2 hours before midnight at a church event....wearing white like im not on the most sinful app in my phone...in front of my mother...keeping a straight face in front of 100 people...and this wig is squeezing tf out my head. this is prolly not gonna be perfect and if i forget anything or anyone, my b dawg. i’ll be back to edit

so let’s get into it. no beta, we die like hot girls 

there’s about 5.4k+ of y’all i’d like to individually thank, but that’s impossible in the time constraint i have. so, for now, pls accept this embarrassing thank you/love letter. im not gonna act like i dont spill my heart out to yall on a daily. but imma do it again. this yr was trash tbh. everyone was being tested like all hell, but we’re here and i’m very grateful for that. my heart is full from all the kind hearts i’ve met throughout my time on here. 

~~~

to my mutuals, your presence literally blows my mind bc there was certainly a time i talked to me, myself, and i LMAO. i was so nervous to speak to anyone outside of asks bc a bitch was shy, but you’ve all accepted me with open arms and have made my time on here that more bearable. thanks for tolerating me bc ik i’m a lot sometimes hehe. y’all are cool asf and a large reason why i haven’t called it quits. no matter what i want the best for y’all. thank you, i love you 

also i have to write a special shout out to @bnhainthewoo and @melanimed bc you two hoes are stuck w me forever. even tho ion like yall niggas all the time, i love y’all like sisters. you’ve supported me through some real shit and i cant say thank you enough. i’d literally fight anyone for y’all also @liltodo @cellotonin @kingtamakimurder @tamasoft @kelatonin @mrs-atushiro @itsbabyysunnyy @mypimpademia @myhoodacademia @infernaltribute7 @sheerxradiance (i’m forgetting so many people but my mom just asked why i’m typing so much and im PANICKING) you all are people that i was lowkey highkey geeked to get to know and blogs i look up to. when i figured out you followed me, i smiled a lot and every time i interact with y’all i literally tell myself ‘don’t fuck this up cece.’ it’s sick LMAOOO i appreciate you and idk man, i just genuinely like you guys a lot and ion be liking people like dat. hope y’all are well and know that i have real love for you. i’d revoke my hottie card for y’all <3

~~~

to my anime anons, bitchhhhhh y’all are a RIOT. thee harem house is a mess!!! the way you keep my on my toes is sickening. you guys deserve a medal. you make my tumblr experience so fun, i can’t thank y’all enough. you make me feel all kinds of emotions and i’m always asking myself, “now how’d we end up here?” KSSKSK. please know that i’m grateful for every note and ask. i hope you all are having a wonderful new year. i love youuuuu

~~~

to my followers, if anyone deserves the biggest thank you, it’s y’all. you’re the main reason i write. the comments and interactions i get from you....i dont understand how i got so lucky. you’ve seen some shit on here yet you still stay. like bitch wtf. WHY ARE Y’ALL STILL HERE??? you make me smile and i honest to God wish i could hug you all. thank you for believing in my writing. thank you for believing in me and this blog. and thank you for being some real ass pretty bitches

i had more to say but i’d be here all night. happy new years y’all. be safe and know i care about you. thanks for surviving 2020 with me. y’all are some hot girls fr fr

i’m about to tag everyone and their mama. if i forget you, pls know i dont mean it and I”M COMING BACK. i have to do this in the next 3 min jdknfk;fk i love you. don’t come at me sideways! i beg!!!

@sems-diarie @sunshineszn @pinkceokjin23 @chefakari @black-bhabie-2000 @azura-galaxy @amajikibby @des-the-girl @blkanimegyal  @iiminibattlehero   @lilsparkyswife @stellarxfresh @mintballoons @reebgirl13 @bnha-baddie @vixenpen @oshun-energy @vangooh-works @tediursula @oh-sotired @azura-galaxy @fuckingyaoimann @astrablossom @todorokiaimee @thermaflute @saitamastamaticsoup @velvesagi @blkladyelle @sweetbakugou @shayiswifey @vodrea @bakugoustanaccount @shhhlikeme  @bnhatrashh @niggacaaaaaat @tododeku-or-bust (couldnt forget to add you<3)

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DOA Bullshit and Bias Hubbywrangler is always in the comments foaming at the mouth whenever someone says less than positive things about DOA. Your autocratic bullshit only works on DOA; you cant control what people say online and you certainly cant ban them for having an opinion, but since you enjoy being an asshole to those who are scared of joining DOA, have felt unwelcome there or discriminated against, why not say something that really matters? The other moderators dont comment on things here, but a mod did on IG and had her ass handed back to her, why not give it a go here? Fantyfofo and MANY others got banned with no warning because they cast doll mannequins to make wigs, something that was not in the rules before banning them - no warning and not allowing them to fix their "mistake". This is unfair, specially because theres just a big red banned on their username and most assume its scamming; you know the damage that this does. when people question this, you just brush their frustration off. Youve sometimes said that these people are lying and the ban was actually not what this person is saying. Well, why not put in the reason why someone is banned? Youve already placed an obnoxious BANNED title under their name, its only fair for everyone to know why they were banned, so no one would accuse you like they have in the past for power tripping. You know the average user would see the banned title and avoid purchasing or dealing with said person - even if the ban was because they made another account, made a mannequin head or ffs, disagreed with a mod offsite. Before you say no, I know for a FACT that Aimeeeee banned a person because they had a disagreement with her on LJ, if you need names, its Hi3ru. I also know of the bullshit secret section of DOA that got hacked and leaked over a decade ago with Sal3m and JaM3 being particularly the shittiest of them all. Dont give me this non-biased bullshit when you obviously dont know how to be anything but biased. This may not be the case these days, but the secret section was there, anyone who has been in the hobby for a long time would remember it or has seen it. There is zero recast tolerance on DOA, yet Mannie admitted that she posted her recast and got suspended for it, when others did the same mistake but got banned permanently, please make it make sense. How is she not banned permanently? How is she still active in the forums when not only did she post her recast, but she admitted to it on her tumblr, and had made tutorials on how to purchase one safely? When being fair, the rules should apply to everyone; that does not mean your friends get to be exempt from it. Speaking of, how do you expect to be the "authority" on everything BJD, when even mention or linking of recasts get you banned or suspended? Do you think a newbie, or someone who has english as their second language will first assume its a fake? When a person wants a discussion - note discussion, not statement - on recasts to educate themselves to make an informed decision, is met with a suspension; how likely do you think they will get a recast out of spite for being "shunned" from the community? No sense in spending too much, "artistic integrity" when the artists and the "head" of the community is hostile towards you. This is such a missed opportunity for DOA to make something great, actually make a difference and encourage being pro-artist instead of bullying a person who is questioning it (no, those who made informed decisions on purchasing recasts can fuck off). I had my recent feedback deleted off my page because the moderators suspect the feedback is from offsite and is against the rules. Did you know, that when you get banned, there is no reply or appeal? You have to send an email which never gets replied to. The other thing; there would be an archive of dolls being sold. Clothes and accessories? Once its sold, its gone. The feedback I got was from those sales AND DOA suspended me because they suspected it was offsite sales. Putting that on the side; why limit feedback on DOA to only sales done on

DOA? IG and FB allow feedback from everywhere; as long as you have experience with that buyer and that seller, that should be the only thing that matters. Having the problem transaction thread for members only is also a decision I wont understand. Yes bad feedback can be linked to the feedback page, but how am I supposed to see and judge the feedback if there is no access to the bad feedback linked, because problem transactions are members only? People are fed up with the rules and tip toeing on DOA. Conversations have become so inane and stupid that I feel my IQ drop every time I read the debate section. The forums used to be enjoyable with actual meaningful conversations and now people only go to DOA to read the problem transaction threads, or BJD news. The discussions is nothing but people talking about their purchases, their missed purchases or purchases they hope to make. There is no conversation and you have no one to blame but yourselves because of the free use of bans, suspensions and this shitty punishment point system you threaten people with. You honestly need to get over yourselves because others see you as intimidating. Some mods are better than others, but generally speaking, you guys are power tripping assholes who are way to proud to get with the times and realize that the current way of running the forum is outdated. This is why many see DOA as an archive; talk too loud and the librarian shuts you up; only old threads have any value. Why do you think people have moved to discord, facebook and instagram? You know what would be nice? Allowing name changes. People will pay for it if you provide it, and you can always link the past usernames on their profiles like ebay. Let people change their names. Not alot will pay for extra doll profiles, and extra DOA PM space, but they will pay for name changes. If anyone else has anything to say, please sound off in the comments. H0bbitwrangler has defended DOA a lot, and they are an active mod that comments and lurks here; let them know what you think because they are trying to make DOA seem like the only ones having an issue are those who were banned "fairly".

~Anonymous

[philosophicalparadox]

The only point that I've heard made in the vein of "Griffith dont care" that I actually see as plausible is that part of keeping Casca close was precisely because she knows "too much" about his vulnerabilities.

Which is totally in character for him, within that context - he keeps a good eye on those who could use anything against him, and I personally don't think he totally trusts Casca not to turn on him, not intentionally, but to do so by accidentally telling the wrong person the wrong thing ( she did confess the whole Genon thing to Guts and is a little naive)

But none of that means he didn't care, or didnt at least want to trust her. He just A) doesn't seem to be very trusting of women in general, to a greater degree than men - though granted we don't see him interact with too many women - and B) knows Casca arguably better than she knows herself, and understands that she's a bit naive and excitable, making her unreliable in some ways. The irony is that Guts is also naive and excitable, but in a slightly different way. He's also just...held to a different standard, blatantly. Which reinforces my idea that part of Griffith's issue with Casca is her sex in some way. Ofc the fact she's infatuated with him in a much more open way may also present an obstacle, lol. I dont know if I would trust her completely either.

But he certainly cares about her. I mean, how could he not? He may not think it wise of her or even good for her, but she puts her everything into being his everything - he is fully aware of her feelings IMO and ignoring them for her own good; a they aren't possible, due to his dream and their core personalities, though Casca doesnt really know that last part consciously. But tell me, if you had someone so thoroughly devoted to your being, would you not notice? Would you not care?

Furthermore, someone had to teach Casca the ropes, and I sincerely doubt she trusted anyone else for the finer details - learning how to read and scribe she could pick up from a few different people, but learning to Squire is part of those ropes by necessity, and since she doesn't have a close relationship to anyone else in the Band, one can only assume she predominantly learned those ropes from Griffith; her fighting style reflects this also. He has invested more into Casca than most the Hawks, and I would solidly argue that he is the only real reason she's "untouchable" to the men in his band. She can fight, yeah - because of Griffith - but I also feel like he protected or still protects her "subtly"; he at least made a note of it until she could slice off a nose or castrate a man. Given the way this world abd story is, I really doubt she would still be a virgin at the age of 17 otherwise.

(Then again I also HC that Griffith, while having a rather carefree attitude toward his men's past, actively "selects" against those who are just a little too seedy to make him comfortable. He's a superb judge of character, except his own, and I don't think he would necessarily "tolerate" too much of that nonsense, for his own sake first and foremost.)

If he truly didn't care about Casca, he would not have trained her. Or had any direct involvement in her being, which he has a ton of. Hell I don't think he would have been so cavalier with her joining them if her situation didn't inspire a sense of responsibility - and really I think that's the crux of it. He feels responsible for her. He does that with his hawks at large, to be sure, but not the way he does with Casca; even Guts gets less "im responsible for you" vibes. In fact I would argue Guts is regarded as responsible for himself more than most of them.

He looks after her, he tends to her with compassion, and he certainly trained her up. In my view Casca is bordering on little-sisterdom with Griffith, at least until she started growing into her feelings for Guts, and growing up in the process - part of why I feel it was jarring for Griffith when he was rescued is that Casca was suddenly much more mature and measured - and that she grew up more without him than with him.

Aaaah how delightfully complicated this series is.

i am kinda ??? when people are like (pre-eclipse) griffith didn’t care about casca and only saw her as a tool/someone he could use for his own gain…

… like i can def see why people would make that assumption bc promrose speech, the pre-eclipse nightmare scene, everything that happened between them from the eclipse onwards…

…but before that point, he genuinely reassures her when she’s upset (like him hugging her after the victory ball and apologizing for scaring her, him putting his hand on her shoulder/hand whenever she panics, him coming back a day early from his council meeting because he learned both her and guts came back safely and he wanted to see them)…

…or he worries about her when she’s in danger (i think a lot about the scene where wyald catches her, and how griffith tries to intervene even though he can’t walk anymore)

idk - just thinking out loud, but those acts (among others) feel incongruent with the above reading for me.

[palettepainter]

What do all the Hazbin Next Gens think of Twyla?

Again this is how the characters would genuinely feel about her so I’m sorry if it isnt what you expected. I cant remember word for word what the tweet said but I remember seeing a tweet from Vivziepop saying that the demons in hell do fear Charlie to an extent, but overall I think they just hugely disrespect her/have a lack of respect for her. I dont think demons in hell are really fond of ‘weaknesses’ such as kidness 

Aldo - He isn't as easily annoyed as his farther, but still does get annoyed more quickly then most of the demons in the hotel. Aldo doesn't really see himself as the kids babysitter type due to his interest in science, hes worried he may come off as annoying and he’s pretty easily pushed around by demon kids such as Iridescence, who can seemingly get away with anything when she is left under his care. I think Aldo wouldn’t mind Twyla, but he wouldn't like the nickname ‘Aldy’ so he’d probably correct her every time. 

Tristan - Again, isn't really the kids type due to his age and personality, but on the whole is a tad more better at handling kids then Aldo. Tristan is most certainly not a pushover and will not tolerate misbehaving from Twyla if he was to ever watch her, he’d be stern but would forgive her if she apologised. Will maybe particapate in activties with Twyla such as reading perhaps, but like Aldo wouldn’t like the name ‘Tristy’

Riley - I headcannon that exterminators don't kill their own kind, aka angeols, they’re only designed/created to kill off demons. In all honesty Riley would probably be the one to take Twyla and immediatly leave her to the exterminators so that she could be handed back over to heaven where she belongs. Again, she wouldn’t hate her, but Riley personally wouldnt want to have the stress of dealing with an angel - let alone a CHILD ANGEL - while her and Lucas are trying to fight off exterminators

Velvet - Thinks that Twyla should probably go back to heaven, its not that she hates her, but being the daughter to a tryant Velvet knows that some demons (maybe even her farther) wouldnt hesitate to manipulate Twyla into becoming their personal little weapon. I think on the whole they’d get along, Velvet is pretty laid back and being very dramatic she’d probably join in with sing alongs or play pretend. 

Brinda - In all honesty would probably be very confused as to why an angel is in hell, she’d probbaly think Twyla was a fallen angel or maybe half angel half demon, hence why she’s in hell. She’d probably question to her mother why they’re keeping her at the hotle and not trying to reutrn her - although Brinda wants to support her mum she isnt as naive as her, and does know that some demons will use Twyla to their advantage. But if they got to know each other I’d say they’d get along, Brinda would probably join in with a few small games

Francis - Is a shy kid and he doesn't really interact with anyone in the hotel, he keeps to himself a lot so i dont think he and Twyla would interact much.

Crash and Dash - in short would just be all round annoying asshats, tripping her up, pulling her hair, scaring her, taking leo and playing catch with him, calling her things like ‘short stack’ or ‘’runt. Crash and Dash are pretty boisterous so they would probbaly be kinda mean 

Nero - Like with anyone else, would punch her if she got annoying. Due to her upbringign from Vox Nero looks down at girly things with disbain, so Twyla being all kiddy kiddy and girly would reallly anoy her. She would slap punch her with no hesitation if she got on her nerves, and if the plants starting acting up around her she’d either stomp on the plants or threaten Twyla to stop it or she’ll get physically angry

Mathew - Only hangs out with demons with superior titles such as tryants and royals, his grandparents probbaly dont like angels so he likely wouldnt either. He’d find her annoying

Kiki - Is very chatty and nosy so she would literally jabber for hours while Twyla is barely able to get a word in, however Kiki looses interest in things very quickly, she can never stay focused for very long so she would probably just roller blade off somewhere else while Twyla is talking

Junior - Sorta similar to Nero, Junior would find her annoying. Since Junior prefers to focus on his studies he would find Twyla’s littel games stupid and he would just outright say it to her face (he’s pretty opinionated). If Twyla ever tried to touch him he would slap or scratch her becasue he has a fear of being touched, he would HATE any nicknmae he would give her and would correcther harshly:

Junior: Listen closely, I am to be referred to and called by as Prince Junior! I am Prince Junior Magne! Son to Charlie and grandsonn to Lucifer, prince to one of hells nine circles and future ruler of this kingdom! Not that YOU would understand what honor you have to uphold with a royal title...I shall not stand at being referred to by some lapstick childish nickname! Do I make myself perfectly clear?

Nidra - wouldn’t like her, if she touches her assistants she’s getting smacked - or hexed into coughing up leeches, whichever Nidra feels is a more appropriate punishment. Would tolerate her presence but on the whole wouldnt be keen at all in getting to know her

Iridescence - Obviously is very chaotic and wouldn’t really care if Twyla was an angel, on the whole would be pretty chill but she wouldny join in with her games or reading 

[star-gazer-art]

Look what someone did over on my DA when they did not like the mystery adopt I made for them with traditional media colored marker. And for Tumblr FYI 500 points is less than $5. Censored their name and pic to protect their identity. Although i  must mention that this was a public comment. all my watchers got to see it though i encouraged the customer multiple times to send me a private message (a “note”) to get the situation resolved, but they kept replying publicly and even tagged a friend so they would come argue with me too. Their comments are not included here.

I need to be clear about something: there is a right way and a wrong way to go about things. Threats and insults are NEVER ok and it is not how you get what you want. I must emphasize that if you have ever or have even thought about purchasing an adopt or anything from me, it is your own responsibility to review the rules of my page and my art terms and conditions. Every artist has them, and if its important to you to get your moneys worth I advise you to always skim the terms and rules an artist has (or just ask about them politely), as I am not the only one who has a certain way of running my art business. I have my terms and conditions on my front page highlighted with three other shortcuts (Commissions, adopts and donations) with a sparkling link bobbing up and down I am certainly not trying to hide it from any of you or am I trying to scam anyone. If you are ever unhappy with any of your purchases you are very welcome to talk to me about it, I will try my best to work something out with you I wont just be like "too bad I got your money" and leave you high and dry. I am self taught and still learning new things every day, so I understand if I fall short and you are disappointed, I need do what I can to make amends within reason and do better next time. But I will not tolerate bullying demands and threats to report me when I have treated you fairly and the same as everyone else up to that point. I am not a door mat and you have no right to tell me what I have to do. THIS IS NOT A CALLOUT. But in regards to this incident Id like to thank everyone who messaged me and reassured me that I handled the situation correctly and that I am doing my best. It means the world to me to hear you think my art is lovely even if you cant always please everyone. I must stress again that this is not a callout to anyone in particular, I just felt the need to address these concerns and thank anyone who was helpful. Please do not contact any of my buyers to harass or talk to them about anything, we have since resolved the conflict and are moving on. If you are curious about the resolution, I just took the exact same adopt and added wings and horns behind the existing drawing so it looked like “more.” I didnt charge them anything extra for it, as i just wanted them out of my hair. They said thank you in a final comment and that was it. They have a right to their opinion and even if I dont agree with it completely, we must all make an effort to understand eachother and accept one another for who we are. Thanks for reading my rant and I hope you all have a great day!

[papermoth-bird-blog]

Red, Blues & the Greyhound bus to Nashville

Most people, when I said I was going to take the bus between my stops, gave me a very strange strange look. As if to say “why would you subject yourself to that?” or “I’m worried about you.” I have no regrets though. Truly, I set out to get an authentic understanding about what is going on in the American south right now, and let me tell you, I certainly have been learning a lot. Now, of course, in all my stops I’ve landed in blue cities in Red States, so I’ve felt quite sheltered for the most part. But there is no way better to learn, then riding the bus.

Now leaving New Orleans was difficult, I’ll tell you. Not just because I had such a great time there, but because my new friends were literally getting ready for the WITCHES BALL as I was packing up my bag. It was like the city was dangling the carrot begging me to stay. On top of that- Will Smith showed up and played the preservation hall. I mean--- New Orleans just has to stop flirting with me. It’s too much. As a matter of fact, it was like the city was holding on to me. My bus was supposed to leave at 9:30 pm, but it ended up leaving half past midnight. I didn’t mind, I knew the bus wasn’t going to glamorous or fun persay. I wanted to see the landscape/ people-scape change as I moved through Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama & Tennessee. It was palatable too.

I mean, I don’t know if other places are like this, but from my time on bus’ in Canada, I’ve never been made to get off before. Here you do- At every. single. stop. Which is tedious to say the least. My ticket originally said I just had stop in Mobile, Alabama, for an hour. As it turned out, we actually had an hour long stop in Mobile, Montegomery, Birimgham (maybe another one too?). Each time we stopped for a while, the bus would be emptied out & cleaned from top to bottom. I which is nice, but how messy could they possibly get in two hours?The stop in Mobile ended up being more like 5 hours- because we missed the connecting bus. I didn’t really mind (I mean, I sighed up for it & all I could do was go with it, being negative wouldn’t change the situation & I wasn’t even tempted to be).

Most people were grumpy though, if I’m being honest. Those poor greyhound people, I think every person going through those terminals, particularly in Alabama, was swearing and cursing those greyhound staff. They were grumpy about all kinds of stuff- but mostly because of that missed connection. 

There really were ‘all-kinds’ on that bus. Joining up in New Orleans, there was a whole group (of maybe 20) parents & children coming into the country (via Texas) for the first time. In Nola, a man and a woman, rushed towards them, handing out supplies & fruit & a manner of many other small items. It was clear they were migrating because they all had the same lime green totes, with the name of a charity that helps with these things printed on them. We parted ways in Montgomery, where many of them continued on to Atlanta or Florida. 

In Birmingham, I mostly occupied my time with watching videos Eli was sending me about Tulum. (Which I think is growing on me as a destination). I made small talk with a guy next to me who (I didn’t realize until later) was wearing a shirt with a confederate flag on it, that said something like “never apologize for your past”. He asked me where I was coming from and where i was going & I told him. In regards to Nashville, he said “Oh, yeah I like it up there. They are a lot more polite than in places like down here.” He also told me he’d always wanted to go to Canada, but couldn’t (he learned at the boarder one time) “on account of my convictions”- which turned out to be 3rd degree assault & battery. I didn’t really ask more questions. 

Maybe it was a fluke, maybe not, but I also found the amount of people wearing the colour red was super unusually numerous. Like everyone, white people, people of colour, old, young. Maybe it’s a style choice, but I definitely noticed it in Birmingham. Our stop in Birmingham also ended up being a lot longer than we initally thought it would be because the police wouldn’t let our bus leave. They picked out a couple of white guys in the back (who had been with me since Mobile) who were both wearing red shirts & grey hoodies (my co-incidence, I dont think they knew eachother). They were both asked to leave the bus, where they were searched for weapons. When they got back on, they were both making a fuss, saying that the cops were trying to figure out if they were “in the brotherhood” or not. The brotherhood, of course, being the Klu Klux Klan. Which made me both uncomfortable & way more aware. I mean, I was one of the only white people on the bus (definitely the only white woman on the whole trip), and if it made me uncomfortable, I can’t imagine what it would have felt like otherwise. The bus driver, who was a black woman, then got up to warn us that she would have “no tolerence for any kind of nonesense” and that she would kick anyone off if she felt any trouble from them. It had me kind of on edge, but it turned out fine.

I did sleep for the most part. I mean, it was a night bus anyways, but I didn’t feel like anyone else was feeling super chatty. (okay, that may be a lie. A guy that was on his way to rehab in Colombus kept offering me peanut butter sandwhiches. Actually, he was one of the people accused of being in the KKK. Maybe it was me that wasn’t feeling chatty- I was doing my best to observe.) In Huntsville, a young man came and sat next to me. His speech was super slurry, and I couldn’t easily understand him. He did keep making conversation with me. Then he started crying. The whole way to Nashville. He was messaging back & forth with a girl, who clearly broke his heart in someway. As if sitting next to a crying, stranger wasn’t awkward enough. He couldn’t read that well, so he kept turning to me ASKING ME TO READ THE MESSAGES to him. Which of course, would make him burst out into tears all over again. Texts including “N ya. that’s y I dnt wanna b wit u” & “I do got luv for u. Just nt as a couple”. He then kept voice memo-ing her stuff including “That’s fucked up!” over and over again. It started to feel like I was breaking up with this guy. This strange, strange, socially awkward person. I try not to pity people, because I think that is a sentiment that can be disempowering for the subject. Not going to lie tho, I felt a lot of pity for that guy. Honestly, I felt a lot of relief too, when we finally got to Nashville.

I haven’t explored too much yet- I mean- It’s 8am on the morning after my bus rolled in (a good 7hrs after it said it would). I did wander just a little to find Two Boots pizza-which was relatively near by. Two Boots is the pizza chain that Leon (Asa’s cousin) family owns. It’s a cajun, pizza place- the two boots being Louisiana & Italy. So I got a calzone & tried not to feel sad about the fact that I wasn’t in New Orleans anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have a good feeling about Nashville. Definitely crush worthy too. The mountains that hug this city were beautiful to watch with the setting sun. I do feel a sense of land-locked-ness, which I wasn’t necessarily expecting, but I think that’s my spoiled east-coast girl showing. Nashville has a really good energy about it. Bubbly, a little hooky for sure, but friendly as ever. I already feel much more comfortable walking around at night here.  I’m gonna do my best to get my country music fix here- I can tell it won’t be hard- there are honky-tonks everywhere.

[edwad]

How would you respond to the money/incentive discourse going on with Brett?

i think both parties are sorta talking past each other in that brett is advocating some form of market socialism/social democracy and communists are defending a stateless, moneyless, and classless society where the means of production are held in common. this isnt really an easy debate to have as if we’re talking about the same exact system and simply choosing whether or not to include money after the fact. 

i think on this point, communists tend to have especially weak arguments simply due to the convenient dismissal of money and all economic matters entirely in their end point, since they imagine they’ll solve all of these problems as if by magic and so the dirtier details aren’t important, being unique to less pure systems than theirs. a general ignorance of the economic calculation debate, which brett brought up (and which i sorta addressed recently), means that few if any are able to adequately address these historical issues, but that doesnt necessarily kill their points either. it also doesnt mean the argument is settled and money has won out. i think the question of whether or not this matter has been dealt with “sufficiently” by anyone, communist or otherwise, is going to largely be a matter of opinion. 

brett is essentially correct when he says that meeting everyones needs isnt an incentive structure if its unconditional, but i think we can be more creative in this regard than markets (although he did mention some other ideas, which i agree are generally pretty piss-poor). 

his proposal, if i understand him correctly, that a monetary incentive structure could and should still exist under conditions of a vague socialism has its own set of problems. he suggests that this would function after everyone else’s basic needs have already been met, and that money could still exist to make sure the dirty jobs get done. he echoes adam smith a bit in talking about how self interest can also work for the benefit of the public (brett still calls himself a liberal in the classical sense after all), but what goods would this money buy? luxury goods, presumably, since basic needs have already been met, but what about the historical movement from luxury to necessity, where things like cars and computers become transformed from symbols of wealth and power into every day use-values? at some point the current luxury goods might become commonplace through technological and productive advancement, making them fairly worthless compared to this newer much more powerful or scarce thing that becomes the new standard of luxury. 

in fact, with further automation in production, many if not all of these goods may become cheaper and cheaper to produce until their marginal cost falls close to 0 (something we’re already seeing right now in today’s very capitalist economy), at which point the use of money becomes very different. we’re living in a world where machines can now reproduce themselves, but we dont utilize a lot of this power because it clashes with our ability to maintain a consumer base. we can’t replace workers with machines without affecting the realization of profits. if we can achieve a genuine form of socialism with worker ownership of the means of production, it will be in each worker’s self interest to contribute as little as possible toward these dirty jobs, and through this we will likely find the answer to many of these problems with changes in production, as has generally been the case in the past. but even if we dont, even if we just utilize the technologies we have right now in a more efficient way (and we can imagine that productive advancements in the form of “labor-saving devices” would be discouraged by those seeking more money and not wanting to compete with and be outmoded by machines, in many ways slowing down the economy more than it has to be), the costs of these luxury goods, unless artificially propped up, would likely fall drastically.

in this sense, i think brett’s answer to a lack of incentive in society depends on something that will undergo its own crises and, in the end, introduce the same problem. if things become free– or even nearly free –in a money economy, where is the incentive to do dirty jobs for money? if everything is either provided for free as a necessity or as an easily reproducible product, and nearly everything else can be produced and sold for next to nothing, is anyone going to want to work for even more money, especially if they feel like the work is degrading and not worth their time? 

the answer depends on whether or not needs are met for free and if the money only exists for those that do the extra work, creating a market economy inside of an already existing socialist one. 

if this isnt the case, i.e., if money exists in the entire economy and everyone gets a basic income or something like that but you can get extra if you do dirty work, the issue remains. the incentive problem reemerges when luxury goods become so cheap that theyre accessible to everyone (almost certainly a near-immediate transformation if we assume any meaningful change in production)

but if this is the case, then we have a very confusing-looking socialism where the dirty work will certainly get done (not that it wouldnt otherwise), but there is definitely room for criticism of this type of system, especially regarding its implications. effectively withholding products from everyone except for those willing and able to work for them (done by some entity, the state i presume) in order to ensure that the dirty work gets done is an interesting progressive way to introduce and enforce new hierarchies in society based around access to luxury goods. maybe this could be justified, since poverty would be abolished, universal contentment would overtake the species, etc, but how would this monopoly on distribution conflict with the communal ownership of production? would it be communal ownership at all, or only social ownership through the state? why would i do dirty work when a 3d printer or even a full-scale factory can produce things for next to nothing? would 3d printers and factories be barred from my personal usage in this way? would i be cut off from particular means of production in order to ensure that i dont steal goods meant to be given to those more valuable dirty workers? how would this change my relationship with production? can we even separate production from distribution this cleanly in the first place, attempting to pull the two apart and address problems in each separately? will brett ever stop trying to resurrect john stuart mill? etc etc etc. 

theres a lot of uncertainty in that and i dont think this is a sufficient response to communists, or even austrians for that matter, regarding problems of economic calculation. and this is all without ever even questioning money itself as a means of accumulating and hoarding value, potentially in a way that could reintroduce material inequalities in very non-socialist and reactionary ways. 

these are just some basic problems i spot immediately, and i havent gone into much depth (although others have), but i remain convinced that communism is the best alternative and that any money economy is going to have to carry all the burdens of money with it. in brett’s proposal, it probably becomes a redundant and crisis-ridden medium. he might disagree with me, but he does that a lot so im used to it. i also know hes not terribly interested in debating this, so this is isnt to get some response out of him. ill forever be hated on the tumblr left for having the audacity to think that brett is tolerable, and i think there are more important things than the issue of money, especially since, as i already said, we have two very different end goals in mind. but even for communists interested in transitioning to that end goal, i think this is a discussion we ought to take more seriously than we usually do.

also no one on this website knows what socially necessary labor time is.

[trishgibsontx]

why successful people don’t have time for bullshit, and why you won’t either as you become successful

“salida” photo by me

bullshit and success do not exist in the same room.

what do I mean by success, in this post? I mean a fully honed focus. an actualized dream. a desire manifest into 3d. for example, a singer who wants to win a grammy. an inventor who wants their idea patented and worldwide with the intention of helping others. basically anyone doing the “impossible” in life. the only reason we don’t live our dreams is because we get caught up in bullshit — emotional, psychological, or otherwise.

what do I mean by bullshit, in this post? I mean second and third chances to allow someone to show you who they are. this sounds harsh, yes. and I spent many — MANY — years giving not second or third chances to people, but hundreds. maybe thousands. sometimes to the SAME one person! another form of bullshit is gossip and negative focus — for example, watching the news each day, complaining about it, and making that an actual reason why life sucks.

when I was on the road to my current “success” — which I would define, personally, as something that has grown definition-wise over time (there was a time when success to me simply meant living month to month and paying rent and eating and working ANY job! — now, it means pioneering in medicine and literature and healing by leveraging media) — I had to sort through a LOT of bullshit. and what I learned, each time that I had less of it, was how light my bags got. each time my bags got lighter, suddenly I was closer to my “goal”.

for example: when I first moved to NYC, I was leaving the corporate arena. my focus at that point, as I grew my natural precociousness for all things holistic/metaphysical, was simply to book a recurring role on tv. the reason for it, at the time, was to have a platform to come back to “later”. with my message. at that point in time, I did not know what my message would be. now I do. anyhow, I got caught up in a very draining relationship for over 2 years. right as I was taking my plunge toward my goal, which could have happened nearly overnight, I allowed myself to fill my bags with shit. it is not to say the person was bad, but they were *not* good for ME. I stayed anyhow. the reasons why can likely be found in many other blog posts, lol. but the point is, I slowed my road to success. I ruminated on many things. I didn’t trust my gut in knowing that while this person’s life and business would completely expand (which it did!!!), mine would be put on a big fat hold. I was also in constant contact with people who did not respect me. I was then learning 1) how to leave a very unfulfilling relationship and 2) how to lessen contact with those who did not serve any positive interest in my life. it took time. about 2.5 years. and when I did it, DAMN! my phone rang off the hook for consistent work in TV and Film, and within just one year I had booked a recurring role on network television. well, no shit! I had dropped bags.

another example, and this one speaks to my own bullshit that someone else didn’t want to tolerate (though I didn’t get it at the time!): when I was younger, super early 20s, a very famous and attractive man basically chased me down the street to meet me. actually, his manager got to me first. then he got to me. someone of his social status and otherwise was foreign to me, so I had my guard up. I also never cared or wanted to coattail anyone. anyhow, he got my number and we began talking. I actually lived in a different city at the time, and he was trying to fly me to see him. I said no. so he flew to see me. I might have been young and naive, but I always had a shit ton of self respect. I told him the ground rules, basically, “I am not interested in dating or sleeping with anyone right now”. I was afraid of what he was used to getting so easily, and that the potential disappointment he might have around me not putting out would hurt me. anyhow, we made plans. it was an amazing time. this was pre social media, thank GOD. there were tons of people snapping pics of us. I felt both important and guarded at the same time. people made circles around us at the nightclub we went to. afterward, we went for pizza. I made it clear I was going home alone that night. he asked me to spend the next day with him. here is where my own “bullshit” comes in. I was nervous. he was a lot for me. part of me felt like I would be totally controlled by this person just because of who they “were” and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was unclear with him about plans the next day. I think I said yes. then I slept until 3pm and kept my phone off. I didn’t know why I did it. part of me was afraid that he would think I was a fan-girl, so I played a little hard to get. the problem in the human world was that I played too hard to get. I wasted his time! he flew many miles to come see me and I basically (unwittingly) blew him off the next day because I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I realized my energy and behavior, and made an effort for plans with him for that night. he was totally shut down at that point. he didn’t say that I had bruised his ego, which I definitely had, but I know that the biggest part in the situation was that I wasted his time. he had so many other places he could be, and I made him wait and wonder. he was pissed. NOW, I understand this. I can’t tolerate it either. I don’t tolerate it. there have been many amazing young men or romantic prospects I have met over the years, but they wasted my time. perhaps for similar reasons that I wasted someone’s time when I was young. it’s not usually deliberate, but that is not the point. the point is that wasting precious time — especially when we are very successful, or we want to be — is bullshit. and bullshit and success can not go together.

flipping back to learning with my own discernment of the bullshit and success correlation…over the years, especially as a VERY sensitive and empathic person, it has often felt like death to my very being to do what is in MY best interest. I have held on to people and beliefs that only slowed me down. in each passing year, I learned new ways to lighten my load. I could not pull a 180 by dissociating, I actually had to do the work to let go of people and beliefs aka BULLSHIT. I felt guilty a lot. I also knew that my ONLY path to freedom and “success” was without the bullshit. aka fool me once, only.

I began to make progress with each bag I left behind. as I began meeting other people who had dropped LOADS of bullshit in their life, I noticed that they were at the top of their field in life. their focus was laser-like, and while they certainly had incredible compassion for others, they COULD NOT RISK the bullshit.

I walked the line, and still do sometimes, between feeling unconditional love with assorted excuses for allowing certain people/behaviors in my life, and feeling unconditional love with a chopping block action associated with what/who I know is not good for me. sometimes I really feel like it sucks to be a no-second-chance person, but it has truly created nothing but goodness in my life. I MUST always trust that. there is no sense of being “without”, because each time we follow our gut (aka drop the bullshit), new doors open. doors open all of the time, in fact — it is just a matter of which ones we are done with/have closed. I closed many. I still close many. I choose my purpose, and along with that is anyone and everyone I could dream of wanting with me.

successful people don’t have time for bullshit, and you won’t either as you become as successful as you want to be. maybe you already are. if that is the case, congratulations for navigating the system — it does not come easy.

The post why successful people don’t have time for bullshit, and why you won’t either as you become successful appeared first on The Medical Intuitive Blog: Energy Medicine & Reiki Therapy By Elaine™.

from Trisha Gibson http://www.themedicalintuitiveblog.com/2017/05/24/successful-people-dont-time-bullshit-wont-either-become-successful/

[yua-shizuka]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[fangirl-with-a-shoulder-fettish]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[otaku-douchebag-ponytail]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/