#i may have been physically present in a church but i was Not learning what all that stuff was about - even the most basic tenets

[its-gettin-weird]

Hello Pearl,

What thing, sight, activity, or experience from the surface world do you think that each of your sisters would be most excited to see, if they had the opportunity to see it? 

Sincerely, a sightseeing fan. 

Interesting question! My sisters have seen many things on land that I hadn’t then. They had much more time to breach the surface after their fifteenth birthday than I had, and more opportunities to observe the experiences on land from the edge of the water. However none of my sisters are able to go beyond the riverbanks and shoreline in the extent that I am currently able, so I have been fortunate enough to be immersed in the world beyond the shore and to witness things I never thought imaginable.

I think Anemone would be quite fond of the vast array of knowledge humans have amassed within libraries and universities, as well as the church. She’d be so surprised humans were able to accomplish this! In fact, many of my fellow Marineids are unaware of just how intelligent and talented humans are, which is quite unfortunate to me. We do not have a fully fledged written language nor any permanent records outside our memorized stories and songs, so of course any one of us would be amazed at the compilations of literature that humans have stored. She’d find all this vast information useful to learning how to be a better leader and queen.

Ray I feel would absolutely love human sports and games! We have our own games similar to human ones, but many of them are meant to teach or sharpen hunting skills, though this certainly doesn’t take the entertainment out of them. Speaking of hunting, Ray would also enjoy the different methods of game hunting that humans partake in, as well as their weapons and tools. While we have no use for these things, I do believe that my sister would take a liking to the unique methods that humans use to make up for their lack of physical prowess. Perhaps she would be partial to short range weapons, she does love the chase and much prefers to give the finishing blow up close.

Sand may have a fondness for the sights she would see on the surface, and the possibility of traveling across the land. I think she is the type to want to experience everything the world has to offer that she possibly can, and if she were able to traverse the surface in search of new adventures she absolutely would. I can see her going far and wide to see every landscape, try every food, converse with every passersby, and take in every encounter she has in its absolute fullest. I can also definitely say that she would love the getaway resorts here and could be found relaxing in any one of them!

Coral is the one that initially got me curious about humans in the first place! Her personal garden is so different from the rest of ours; it is absolutely full of manmade artifacts and treasures! Human trinkets litter every nook and cranny of her garden, and she still sought out more before I left! I am …unsure if she continues to have such a passion for human creations, considering the scenario in which I last saw her… I sincerely hope that this horrible incident hasn’t soured her appreciation for the craftsmanship of humans, and for her to see that this doesn’t reflect on all humans.

…..

Perhaps she would take an interest in museums, or art galleries. I feel many of the things present in these places could spark her interest, and are quite similar to the treasures she has collected back home.

Kelp would love the fashion and accessories land dwellers have! She loves to gather the prettiest oysters and shells then clip them to her tail and fins. I don’t know how they don’t bother her, especially with the amount she has on at a given time. She says they don’t hurt her much, but they were terribly painful for me! :< I think she may also like makeup and jewelry humans have. I unfortunately believe that Kelp may be insecure about her tail deformity, and may have taken to excessive accessorizing to compensate. She does seem to find genuine joy in modifying and enhancing her appearance, so I do not worry too much about this.

… just talking about my sisters, my pod, makes me miss them dearly. I wonder if they are well, especially since what happened to Coral.

I worry greatly about my pod on land, the other Larks I mean. Elle is… currently not present. I am at a loss for what to do, I wonder what my sisters would do. What did Anemone, and the rest of my pod, do when Mother was gone? I suppose there was nothing they could do, she was already….

Elle is not dead. I have been assured of this. I— we, still have time. We can still do something. We have to try. I suppose Elle will not be happy with me for doing this… I am trying not to be reckless again. I have to think very carefully about what I must do.

The matriarch of her pod must plan effectively and carefully about what she must do to protect and lead her pod and shoal.

What would Anemone do?

What would Grandmother do?

What would my Mother have done?

[cherrypikkins]

Here is my contribution to today's prompt from @fe-oc-week! Oct 13 - Joy

Once again with more Kitt lore :3

(cw blood, injury, body horror)

everything below the read more!

Gwyn, the Unsung Hero - Part II Though the story of Gwyn is little known in Fodlan society, one tale that has recently surfaced from obscurity is that of the Ghost of Annwen.

Legends say that the spirit of a fallen warrior sleeps for a hundred years at a time, deep beneath a lake hidden in the Oghma Mountains. When it wakes, it shows one of two faces - that of a great hero or a terrible demon. None may know which face it will show when it awakens - only that the world will be forever changed. Even in sleep, it guards the mountains, ensuring peace and order, answering the prayers of those who are in great danger. However, those who dare incite violence and tragedy within the ancient sanctuary will be hunted down without mercy by the Demon of Annwen.

There was a time in ancient history when it brought unfathomable destruction and chaos to Fodlan, and was condemned to death for its misdeeds.

And yet, there was another time when it saved Fodlan from certain doom, sacrificing itself in the process.

The hero is just and fair as much as the demon is cruel and wretched, so says the tale. So different in their natures, yet they are bound together, trapped to wander this mortal realm in a hopeless, never-ending search for salvation. But what is the true meaning of the 'salvation' that it seeks? How does one grant salvation to that which is already dead?

Once there was a scholar who penned this tale in full, even citing evidence that attributes this tale to Gwyn, the Unsung Hero of Annwen. However, this script has since been struck by the Church, under the orders of Seteth. How strange that such a simple tale would be condemned as blasphemy under the eyes of Seiros.

Supposedly, the librarian Tomas took such an interest in the tale that he traveled to the Oghma Mountains for months at a time to visit the village of Annwen, hoping to learn more. In recent years, he seems to have returned to his duties working at the Garreg Mach library full-time. When asked of his research, he said that his efforts bore little fruit - it seems that the so-called 'Ghost of Annwen' is little more than a fanciful story.

These days, it seems more and more likely that no such spirit exists today - for Demonic Beasts now roam and rampage the once tranquil mountainside where Annwen formerly stood, and there is neither a hero nor a demon present to keep the peace. And yet, those brave enough to venture into the forbidden wilderness will find it mysteriously strewn with corpses - that of both monsters and sinister mages garbed in masks and dark robes.

The Capricious One - Part IV Of all Nabateans, the Capricious One was said to be the most talented in their ability to shapeshift and transform.

They even had the ability to suppress the power of their Nabatean blood, hiding their Crest in order to better assume the guise of a common beast or a human.

Some said they were the weakest amongst their family. Others said they simply preferred to keep their true strengths hidden, and were not to be underestimated.

Little did the Children of the Goddess know, that so great was their power to transform that they could split their physical forms voluntarily, with each part fully alive and able to act independently of the other. But to do so repeatedly and for extended periods of time would invite confusion. Changes in personality. Distorted memories. A loss of self. And eventually, madness. Thus, whether in form or in spirit, all parts must one day rejoin, lest existence itself become unbearable.

The only one who knew of this power was the Hammer of Judgment. When the two were younger, he saw that the Capricious One was eager to test their limits, and so asked his sibling, "Do you not fear losing yourself forever?" The Capricious One laughed at this and answered, "To remember who I am, I need only to look towards The Beginning."

Now, Sothis is gone, leaving behind nary a beacon to guide a lost and shattered soul from the depths of madness. And to this day, there exist countless Demonic Beasts that carry even the smallest essence of the Capricious One's blood in their veins. With each one felled, they reclaim a part of themselves, that even in death they may someday become whole once more.

[actualmermaid]

Today's queer saint of the day (originally posted to my ~spicy Christian memepage~) is Dr. James Barry: British Empire army surgeon, public health advocate, transgender man, and physical embodiment of "queer as in fuck you."

Dr. Barry's biography is available elsewhere, so I won't go into it too deeply here. If you want an entertaining look into his life and work, I recommend the Sawbones podcast episode #178. Instead, I'm going to use this post to situate Dr. Barry's life into the broad sweep of the Anglican tradition.

I've posted before about how the Anglican Church of the early 19th century was an insular and socially ineffective arm of the British aristocracy. Nevertheless, its rites and philosophies were an important part of public life, regardless of how individuals felt about God or the Church--especially for agents of the British Crown, which Dr. Barry was. Outright "atheism" was still rare.

In my research I was not able to find much about his personal religiosity, but Dr. Barry would have been familiar with the scriptures and the Book of Common Prayer. Besides this, he embodied the ideals of Enlightenment humanism, which remain inextricably intertwined with Anglicanism both in the past and continuing into the present.

Dr. Barry was ethnically Irish, and his family experienced anti-Irish and anti-Catholic discrimination. It was thanks to liberal-minded family friends that James was first able to become James, enter medical school, and become a commissioned officer in the British Army. Wherever he was posted, public health improved, because Dr. Barry was a tireless advocate for women, the poor, and enslaved people.

Dr. Barry was constantly getting into fights, and sometimes literal pistol duels, with people who challenged him. (This is a common theme in biographies of historical trans men.) He even got into a fight with Florence Nightingale, who is officially recognized as an Anglican saint for doing a lot of the same work that Dr. Barry did. Dr. Barry is also famous for being the first Westerner to perform a C-section in which the mother and child both survived. This was a procedure that had been successfully practiced in Africa for hundreds of years before colonization, and since Dr. Barry's procedure was performed in colonial South Africa, I don't think it's unlikely that he learned from African traditional medical practitioners as well as Western academic medicine. Coming from a colonized background himself, it may have been easier for him to respect colonized African people than it was for other British imperialists. He embodies what Anglicanism can be at its best: tolerant, curious, courageous, innovative, and orthopraxic. Even during the brutal height of the British Empire, these ideals shone through the darkness, and can be an example for us today.

Dr. Barry's story is also important in an age of resurgent British fascism, particularly the anti-trans sentiment that has earned it the nickname of "TERF Island." He was a trans man, not a "woman who disguised herself as a man in order to become a doctor." He lived as a man, wanted to die as a man, and is remembered as a man on his gravestone. To erase that reality is to erase trans people from the past, present, and future--which is exactly what fascists want. We must not allow that to happen.

[rucbarthatbowtiesarecooldw]

Saturday Afternoon Session

Conducting Gary E Stevenson

All Glory, Laud, and Honor

David A. Bednar

Be Still and Know that I Am God

Inner Spiritual Stillness of the Soul

Be Still = focusing on the Savior

Truth faith is focused in and on our Lord Jesus Christ

Spiritual stillness = the opposite of inner turmoil

A proper foundation ensures that the structure will remain sturdy and stable over time – requiring an attachment to bedrock.

We build the foundation – the Savior is the rock upon which we build

Faith is built upon the Savior

Sacred time and holy places are the same – focus your time and attention on God and His heavenly Plan

Sometimes being still means on the inside not the outside

Jesus is not the foundation He is the Rock upon which we build.

We may be perplexed by our trials and circumstances, but we will never be in despair.

The gospel doesn’t keep you from trials, but allows you to deal with them with the help of the Lord

Massimo De Feo

My physical sight is not good – what about my spiritual vision? Do I need any treatment there.

Can you see Christ spiritually, not physically? Or are you like the pharaseees?

We keep a clear spiritual vision when we focus on Jesus Christ and stay true to what we know to be true.

What we know to be true: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t listen to the voices in the world that say that loving everyone isn’t reasonable/necessary/possible.

Declare your testimony in its entirety; don’t let anyone silence you

We keep a clear spiritual vision when we hear the voice of the Lord and allow Him to guide us.

Keeping a clear spiritual vision is about focusing my sight always on Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is the answer for everyone

God Loved Us So He Sent His Son

Brent H Nielson

Witnesses of Christ

There has never been a better time to be a member of the church than today

335 operating and announced temples!!!

You should leave the bubble

The truth of God will go forth everywhere

You and I are witnesses

Gathering israel has both missionary work and family history work

We are armed with righteousness and with the power of God in great glory

Jose L Alonso

Where do you find peace?

If we put the Savior at the center of our lives, we can find peace

Feeding 5000 men – plus women and children (Matt 14:21). Jesus gave thanks to his father, he was grateful rather than complaining that was all they had. 

Solutions to our trials often don’t come from ourselves – but in God

“Imagine how much love he has for us if Christ was looking for peace and solitude, and he welcomed everyone to heal and help them”

When we encounter challenges, turn beyond them to Christ, and trust in his help

Even when looking for peace and solitude, Christ focused outside of Himself and welcomed everyone to heal and help them!

Adopting a Christ-centered perspective helps us turn trials into victories

Christ is a Healer, and we are ever-present in His mind and heart

Praise to the Lord the Almighty

Gerritt W Gong

194 years since the restoration of the gospel!

Things will work together for our good

Sometimes we just need to have someone there when we’re upset – and that someone can always be God

Trusting the Lord can include trusting Him with our suffering and anger and misery

When we work together for good, we minister as Jesus Christ would

Spiritual First Responders

Going from neighbors who bring cookies to trusted friends

What happened there and then can bless us here and now

Michael T. Nelson

We can be trustworthy, beloved leaders of youth like Helaman and the stripling warriors: build relationships with them, council them, support them

Parents have a primary responsibility for teaching their children

No one serves in the church alone

Heavenly Father wants us to reach out to others, including the youth

Help them learn who they really are through how you feel about them

Follow promptings, even though we’re not perfect, to build relationships of love and trust

No program can replace the influence of loving, covenant keeping adults

How Great the Wisdom and the Love

Quinten L Cook

My focus should be on the Savior and on the Saviors Atonement

We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father

The Savior is the Keeper of the Gate

And He is the one who also pleads in our behalf

Being one with Christ = loving and building community

Requirements for baptism are uniquely simple – repenting before God

D&C 25 basic doctrine of the restored Church

All are invited to partake of the Lords Goodness and all are alike unto God

None are forbidden

All accountable persons are required to atone for their sins

All have a choice – all have agency

Essential to the plan of salvation

All are able to use their agency and ACT

Exercise our moral agency to choose Christ and keep His commandments

2 Nephi 26:33

Both poor and rich have the same spiritual requirements

Many things occur of which we have little to no control

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Without agency we could not learn, progress, or choose immortal life

We Will Sing of Zion

[dusk-legion-diplomacy]

"To whom it may concern, Greetings from beyond the planes! I trust that this message to you safely, and I did not spend hard earned zinos on some courier services that is to die on their trip or leave with my money.

I am from the plane of Ravnica, of which we do have our own varieties of vampires, but I cannot help but to be ever so curious on matters relating to the physiology of our neighbours in the multiverse.

Do forgive me if my questioning is brazen onto things that do not suit your own standards.

I am curious on you and your kinds consumption of blood. Hematophagy is not unheard of, but at the particular size of your typical denizen of the eternities, it doesn't typically bode well. Do you sustain yourself entirely upon the physical nutrients found within the blood? Or is there elements of draining vitality, or even mana from those you feed from? And does your own consumption of others have to be fatal?

Another question, as I am running out of fancy words to say, is do different things taste different? The various varieties of blood having individuals, those of higher order and more basal creatures, do they have different vibes? General preferences as a whole, or just favourite 'flavours' between individuals? Or, going back to the previous question, do they simply provide less 'nutrition'?

Again, sorry if these questions are a bit too bold! Given I am rather stuck in my current role and without the means to travel ever so freely, I wish to learn more about the behaviours and biologies of different peoples, and how similar or different we may all be between our planes.

I hope you have a most splendid day (or night, should it be more suitable)

Kindest regards

-Zuri Nator, Simic Nursery Attendant, Zonot Seven"

Blessed tidings, Zuri Nator,

What an interesting series of questions you have presented us with. I write this after taking some time to confer among some of my fellows to give some adequate answers as well as consulting the Saint herself. She expressed some concerns as to the nature of your questioning, but I assured her that this was asked out of scientific curiosity and not out of any means of potential destruction.

On the means of blood, the answer is quite complicated. In general, we have come to the consensus that it is not what is physically within the blood that sustains us, but rather what it represents. It does not seem to be linked to the draining of vitality, really, as the blood of an elder tastes the same as the blood of a young man [and has the same effects], but there is something that separates humans from everything else. The Saint believes it is connected to mana inherently, but is not sure on the precise details. She never really had the time to experiment personally, however research is underway. In light of the famine and everything else happening, having a better grasp on what is sustaining us feels prudent.

Things have only gotten a bit more confusing with the introduction of cosmium, as this is a substance that can allow for us to be nourished and fed without the need for blood, but it is also incredibly rare and hard to get a hold of since it is found on Ixalan and we are... not. Cosmium does appear to have a connection to mana innately, as we have begun to study it a bit closely, but more research and answers are pending. It does also make quite beautiful pieces of finery.

On the subject of potential fatality, no, it does not inherently have to be fatal when we drink blood. Donations to the church have, in the past, been given by humans willing enough to do so, or those who were looking for a favor from the Legion. These have not been fatal, as no more than a pint or two would be removed at a time and stored away. There are times where it most certainly will result in the death of another -- usually happening if one has gone without for too long or if one has no disregard for the one they are feeding from -- but it does not have to.

Now this is where I have received some very interesting answers indeed. There are differences in how things taste. Merfolk, humans, dinosaurs, goblins, common livestock, all of them do taste different to one another and some do have preferences. I was surprised to learn that one of our mariners actually enjoyed goblins. Humans were preferred overall, though the various creatures native to the jungles if Ixalan did come up a few times. Livestock was generally seen as inedible unless there was quite literally nothing else around. Individuals do have subtle differences in how they taste, but generally this is based upon how they died. I have heard tales of those who had recently fed upon those in the Brazen Coalition acting as though they were drunk shortly thereafter, so whatever was most recently consumed by the individual being fed upon has some measure of influence as well. One of the paladins recalled feeding upon one as they were getting boarded and feeling as though he had bit into a pillar of salt.

I hope these answers were as enlightening as your questions. If more concrete answers to your first questions are forthcoming, we can find a way to get the research to you once published. If you do have further queries, please do not hesitate to ask.

Yours in faith,

-Pontifex Mavren Fein

[unkn2theknwn]

All to HIM i owe.

Isaiah 52-53

God, I've heard about Your faithful Servant—Your Son. But after giving my life to You, I have been finally diving into Your Word in the last year. Today, You led me to Isaiah 52-53, and I am speechless. No words can fully express the depth of my gratitude. I am so thankful for our relationship—for the countless times You've picked me up before I could fall back into darkness. I've learned about Your Son and the massive sacrifice He made—the humbleness of His heart as He followed Your will. Your light is SO powerful, Jesus.

What surprised me most in Your Word today was:

Isaiah 53:2-3 2 He was always close to the Lord. He grew up like a young plant, like a root growing in dry ground. There was nothing special or impressive about the way he looked, nothing we could see that would cause us to like him. 3 People made fun of him, and even his friends left him. He was a man who suffered a lot of pain and sickness. We treated him like someone of no importance, like someone people will not even look at but turn away from in disgust.

Isaiah gives a more of an interesting description of Jesus than we find anywhere in the Gospel.

Jesus had no special beauty to make people desire Him. It doesn't mean He was ugly. But it does mean that He did not have the 'advantage' of good looks. People were drawn to who He was, not His appearance.

This is also something we should consider as the Church. The Gospel doesn't need to be 'dressed up' with flashy presentations or worldly appeal. Only the Holy Spirit can make Jesus truly attractive to people.

I guess this reflects that common saying: someone may not be physically attractive, but their personality makes them beautiful. Jesus is the perfect example of that truth—His love, His sacrifice, and His character are what truly draw people in.

[day-at-rhodes-island]

Thoughts on closure? (Take this as an excuse to ramble to your hearts content)

You are too kind Hoa.

Unfortunately, despite quite a bit of somewhat recent Closure content, there hasn't been much to say about her that I haven't said already.

It was nice to see her in episodes 10 and 11, but for the most part her characterization is pretty much exactly what we already knew, just presented in a way that doesn't require you to have scoured every bit of lore that mentions her to put it together. This may mean she will be a more major character in later events, which could be fun (I would love an event that went into detail about the lifestyle of a "normal" vampire).

There is one scene in 10-14 before that I did really like though:

Closure: Your work environment is way too... Feist: Impoverished? You can speak your mind, the commander isn't here. Closure: ...Way too much of a challenge. *cough* *cough*... Feist: Miss Closure... Closure: What's up? Feist: D-Did you know, when you talk about being challenged, your eyes seem to... light up? Physically. Closure: Huh? Really? Must be because I'm getting excited... Is it scary? Feist: I-It's fine. Feist: To be honest, it wasn't until I met you that I found out... Uhh, that Sarkaz can do more than just fight. Closure: Oh... Uh, there are a lot of people who aren't fighters, like me. Closure: Naturally, I'm a vampire, so of course I was born with some handy talents. Feist: Huh? Y-You... what is this speed?! It'd take a week for me to do what you did in a single night! Closure: Why do you think the pillars of Rhodes Island are so good? Closure: Take a good look at my eyes. If the Rhodes Island landship was filled with vampires, working at night would be no problem, and we'd cut down big on the electricity bill. Feist: Are there... a lot of vampire engineers? Closure: Of course not! They... They all... Feist: Hey, why'd you start shuddering all of a sudden? Closure: Blame Londinium. It's been a long time since I last felt the fear of being this close to a den of evil. Look, my hands are totally frozen stiff! And I need these hands! Feist: Could it be... that Team 6 ran into...? Closure: I sure hope not. Closure: If so... For real, I need to give you guys a serious warning. Closure: Just in case... I mean, just in case—if you ever run into another vampire, run! Closure: No, it might already be too late by then.

Closure starts bragging about being a vampire, and then immediately has a physical reaction to just thinking about what most vampires are like. It's so good. She also gets to be a little scary (yay!).

I enjoyed this one too:

Closure: Not bad! For an instant back there, I thought I was gonna get my head painted over Londinium's walls! Amiya: It was Misery's Arts. He wouldn't see us hurt. Misery: Right... Kal'tsit told me your brain was an important asset to Rhodes Island. Closure: My hands don't come cheap either, c'mon! Closure: After that, I'm never asking to hitchhike with you again... Blaze carrying me everywhere is a way smoother ride than your Arts!

Blaze Express enjoyer Ada Church. Also, unless I've forgotten something, this is about as close as we get to Kal and Closure interacting during both episodes, which brings me to my next point:

I didn't like the treatment she got in the last scene of episode 11. They both: didn't really give her a reaction to Kal'tsit doing that and didn't make her punch out those mooks. Like, maybe she knew Kal would be okay, but it's weird Shining gets a reaction, while the person specifically stated to care about Kal'tsit in Kal'tsit's files doesn't, right? They were doing so well and they dropped the ball right at the end! Make Closure do a violence and feel sad about it!!

Oh, and I very much enjoyed Weedy's oprec, in which we learn that she smells of machine oil.

[divinekangaroo]

Currently, you are my favorite fic author as I’ve probably mentioned multiple times lol. Sorry in advance if this rambles, but your writing always makes me guess and look closer and it’s nice when you can ask the author your questions:

In reading your latest, I audibly gasped when Michael thought of Tommy as a priest when he was talking about his cock under the ROBES?! Crazy. I loved it. Also Michael asking about Lizzie was insane, but it’s also insane to give your aunt who’s like a mother to you’s son a list of vetted prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money.

And I might just be stupid and tired right now, but why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play? What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Again, thank you for writing all these fics, they bring much joy <3

@lethargicmouse Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! When I did my re-watch, I jotted notes of what was going on at every point in time and I try to keep some allusion or reference to as many moving parts in any of these fics as feasible.

And then there's the format of these little fic-bits/flash fics, too, which I love because they lend themselves to being like a little puzzle box for both writer and reader, packing so much meaning into a single sentence such that one isolated word carries weight.

On top of the attempt at canon-integration, though, I also carry a lot of headcanon into this, so pls forgive if I speak about matters as if personal headcanon is canon because it's not always...

So answering your questions/thoughts -

After being taken away from his mother by the Church, Michael was canonically sexually abused by Father Hughes. There's also a strong allusion that he was (maybe sexually but also physically/verbally) abused by his adoptive father Mr Johnson, given his adoptive mother Mrs Johnson tries to bring him back home later in S4 by informing Michael his adoptive father has died. On top of this, Michael appears to have the same kind of intelligence/metacognition/ambition Tommy has and was able to do his night business school for further learning, but was nevertheIess then stuck on the farm with the white well he wanted to blow up -- this boring, abusive presentation of the pastoral 'ideal' that comes up so often in British literature and which is always subverted in Peaky Blinders.

Into this pastoral hell walks Tommy, dripping with wealth, the trappings of class, modernity/cutting edge thinking, lying to Mrs Johnson as smooth as breathing and with no shame when she calls him on it. He doesn't exactly rescue Michael but creates a framing which is: if you want this, come and get it. And Michael does, where he then discovers the layer of violence which enthralls him - here is where he fits in, here is why he wanted to blow up that well, here is his blood.

In S2, Michael is taken into prison by Campbell in a powerplay between Campbell and Tommy. He was 100% definitely physically abused in prison and likely targetted by Campbell if not other inmates, we see that in him being beaten up. He may have been sexually abused, but this seems less likely from his reactions. But to be released from prison, it's not Tommy who does anything, it's Polly who has sex/is raped by Campbell to secure Michael's release - and Michael is told this, mockingly, by guards (power figures) who probably laugh about his whore mother. Michael reacts badly to this for many reasons, but I'd guess a part of it is shame from his own past abuse - a sense of victim blaming. He takes a long time to relate to Polly again and S2 is framed as a series of choices for him, where he decides to stay with Tommy (and Polly) out of ambition for wealth despite now knowing and experiencing the consequences (prison, rape, abuse).

S3 he rises through the ranks accordingly but also takes the fall back into prison at the end of S3.

Pre S4 timeskip, Tommy's now made good his promise to release everyone from prison/criminal conviction, but Michael's nearly died as well as suffered in prison again. In my headcanon, he's also had to listen to John expounding viciously on Tommy's behaviours and history in a less than flattering way; John is almost 100% convinced Tommy will purposely let them die so he can get on with his clean, non-criminal life, and because Tommy's desire for this seemed to increase with Grace and post-Grace, John doesn't hesitate to also slag on Tommy and his women, his use of prostitutes, his sleeping with Tatiana, his getting the cream while they get shit, his fucking of Lizzie when Lizzie was supposed to be John's wife, etc -- I also theorise Michael hadn't realised Tommy x Lizzie was going on in front of him. All stuff that Michael hasn't really thought about Tommy before. Arthur doesn't want to think Tommy's purposely abandoned them, but also thinks maybe John's right, so says nothing at all, internalising and feeling completely impotent and lost. This doesn't help Michael, as Michael is the only one sitting there with a thought of, but Tommy promised he'll save us, but he has no history to rebuff John's rancour, and as well, Michael's own belief is being rapidly eroded away.

Then Michael goes home and his mother, too, is completely (and embarrassingly for him) emotionally and mentally (and spiritually) adrift, also bitching about but conflicted about Tommy, and all that entails. Michael returns to work with Tommy because he still wants this wealth, this life that Tommy represents, and Michael still kind of respects Tommy and knows he hasn't learned enough yet, but there's also this sense that the illusion is fully shattered: Michael now looks at Tommy and what Michael sees is a very flawed man who's barely holding it together, and who takes risks (in business and personal life) and abuses his power to do so without considering the cost on others/family. (Note it's not about whether this is true or not, it's what I think Michael is seeing.)

So then we hit my flashfic with Michael back at work, but looking hard at Tommy with a very different, disillusioned and non-idealistic lens.

When Michael thought of Tommy as a priest - so Michael's first encounter with power/authority is a priest who abused his authority. Michael now has a sense that Tommy has abused his authority and created situations of sexual abuse (for Polly, maybe for Michael, and also by fucking 'his secretary' who isn't even 'Lizzie' at that point in Michael's id reaction, just someone who is not in a position to say no to her boss the way Michael couldn't say no and Polly's no wasn't heard). Let's not also think about that mythos where you 'inherit' the power of the man you kill - and Tommy was the one who had the power to give Michael the order to kill Hughes; that sense of Hughes' power/corruption transitioning to Tommy.

Michael asking about Lizzie was insane -- 1000% a gut-level power play, not actual desire for Lizzie. But also, Michael doesn't ask for Lizzie. Michael says 'What if I asked for Lizzie.' Michael is instinctively pushing a sore spot (his own, Tommy's,) trying to call Tommy on his hypocrisy and power abuses, not actually want Lizzie. And Tommy recognises this immediately.

but it’s also insane to give [your younger cousin] a list of vetted prostitutes -- not for Tommy? I wrote an earlier flashfic where Tommy's father takes them all to a brothel ridiculously young after possible abuses/sexual abuses in the Parish's care. This sense of 'you feel unmanned, come fuck a woman and feel like a man again'. Forgetting that apart from Arthur who didn't get taken away, they were...not men yet, even in the measure of the day. This is unusual (at least all in the same room) but not unheard of for working class men to set their sons or younger brothers up with whores, partially because of the sexual mores of the day regarding keeping good girls virginal until ready for marriage but men expected to have ample experience to bring to the marital bed. Tommy in the future demonstrates this with Finn, too. However, this peace offering by Tommy is instantly repulsive for Michael because 1) represents abuse of power for sex again, and 2) it represents a low class thing to do no matter how classy the whores are and is an overly simplified offer to address all the complexity Michael's feeling now about Tommy, and 3) Michael's sexual experience prior to this was with Charlotte, a rich, upperclass girl, not a prostitute. Be like Tommy but with more class? Michael sees himself sleeping with upper class women, not classy prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? So this is Lizzie doing what she genuinely was trying to do in S4 early - make Tommy speak to his family again in person and get over the current estrangement. My headcanon is Lizzie has no family of her own she connects to, and while she came into the Shelbys via John or Tommy as a sexual partner, she's fallen in love with this entire Shelby family, this sense of everyone everywhere all at once, and she just wants them all to be connected again. However, all she sees is Tommy being proud and prickly, not hurt. Tommy is very hurt, and while he is proud and prickly and won't cave in, there's a bitterness there that Lizzie doesn't see or respect. So the tension was Lizzie speaking from a place of love but also annoyance at what she sees as childish behaviour; Tommy's speaking from hurt and pride and authority to shut her down. What is also behind this, too, is that I think Tommy has withdrawn from any sexual or soft encounters with Lizzie and probably did so immediately after handing her that money at end of S3, a closure point. So she has a level of longing in her outreach which he also shuts down and will not indulge. He regretted being weak, I think, and needing to lean on her, and probably hurting her too, and is trying to build up walls against being so vulnerable, exposed, used in the many, many ways he was vulnerable and exposed in S3.

Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money. So this line was tying into the sexual power/sexual abuse of power layer for Michael in a few ways. There's classism: 'What's a lower class bint do with this much money' is one part of it. But more significantly, Michael witnesses Lizzie getting a wad of cash for Tommy fucking her, and then Tommy gives everyone else a wad of cash for...services rendered (Tommy fucking them, if in a different way.) So Michael is looking at that money somewhat bitterly because of what he had to lose to gain it - basically self respect and respect he might still carry for Tommy, who let Polly take it and Michael take it and his brothers take it, all tainted with this strange sexual layer due to the various abuses Michael perceives.

why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? A combination of Michael's soreness at his own blind spots, at being kept blind, and a slight disgust that Tommy was exercising that kind of authority/abuse in locations Michael now has to look at daily and be reminded of. I theorise the grand imprisonment at end of S3 struck Michael as a huge surprise; he knew dodgy busienss was happening but the extent of it -- and then the fact Michael was imprisoned for Hughes' murder, which Tommy authorised -- really stung.

What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play?

Tommy's behaviour around Lizzie is visibly out of character, which suggests there is something there that can be exploited. He employs her in a very visible, important position when she doesn't really add much class to his outfit. She can't spell. She has no prior experience. He admits she helped him; he effectively admits he's soft because of her (heart breaking comment). Michael's lashing out at evident weaknesses, similar to what Mosley does in S5. It's also poking at the prostitution thing and the fact Lizzie was supposed to marry John and that they went to the extreme with Angel: purposeful or not, every act Tommy's taken with Lizzie so far has been to make her unavailable for other men, the huge power play piece is if you really want to reconcile with me would you make her available for me.

What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Tommy recognises Michael is sore about something but conflates it to the 'unmanning' / loss of power of being imprisoned. After all, Michael's come back to work so he can't be really sore at Tommy, acn he? So Tommy does what his father did and offers the women/whores as a way to feel like a man again. Michael's response immediately makes him realise he's misjudged why Michael is sore and that it's far bigger than that; Michael, too, is pissed off at Tommy but unlike the rest of the family, Michael is ignoring that for reasons unknown and is coming back to work. Tommy's distrust starts now: what is Michael doing and why is Michael doing it? Tommy immediately withdraws all offer of easy reconciliation from the negotiating table. XD He also uses the term 'you couldn't afford her' as a counter play: all right, Michael, let's assume Lizzie is still a purchasable sexual commodity; you, you little jumped up shit thinking you can dig at me, you couldn't come anywhere near the amount of money and prestige that I've given her. Get back in your box.

After which let's imagine Tommy promptly heads over to the Midland and fucks in a fury all of his rotation of prostitutes and keeps fucking them with widely varying levels of interest through to start of S4.

(And this doesn't really touch on the Michael-wants-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-better-than-Tommy themes either, but there's a strong undercurrent of that, sexualised and not, in any of my Michael & Tommy flashfics)

Thanks for your questions and the opportunity to do a mini Director's Cut! Hope it was entertaining.

.

Link to the flashfic referenced above: and not one god his fury spares

[thepastisalreadywritten]

SAINT OF THE DAY (July 18)

On July 18, the U.S. Catholic Church celebrates the feast day of Saint Camillus de Lellis, who turned from his life as a soldier and gambler to become the founder of an order dedicated to caring for the sick.

In some other countries, he is celebrated on the anniversary of his death, July 14.

Camillus was born on 25 May 1550 in the Abruzzo region of Naples in present-day Italy.

His mother died during his infancy. He lost his father, a former army officer, six years later.

The young man took after his late father professionally, serving in the armies of Venice and Naples until 1574.

During his military service, Camillus developed a severe gambling problem.

He repented of the habit in 1575, when he found himself impoverished and forced to do menial work for a group of Franciscans.

In February of that year, he resolved to change his life and soon sought to join the order.

A wound in one of his legs, however, was seen as incurable and kept him from becoming a Franciscan.

After this rejection, he traveled to Rome and worked for four years in a hospice.

Committed to a life of prayer and penance, he wore a hair shirt and received spiritual direction from St. Philip Neri.

Grieved by the quality of service given to the sick, Camillus decided to form an association of Catholics who would provide them with both physical and spiritual care.

He studied for the priesthood and was ordained in 1584.

Members of his order worked in hospitals, prisons, and in the homes of those afflicted by disease.

The order's original name, the “Fathers of a Good Death,” reflected the desire to aid in their spiritual salvation and prepare the dying to receive their last rites.

Later known as the Order of the Ministers of the Sick, or simply as the “Camillians,” the group received papal approval in 1586 and was confirmed as a religious order in 1591.

In addition to the traditional vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, they took a vow of unfailing service to the sick.

Camillus himself suffered physical ailments throughout his life.

His leg wound failed to heal over the course of almost five decades, in addition to which he suffered from sores and severe kidney trouble.

But he is said to have spent time with the sick even while unable to walk by crawling from bed to bed.

The founder of the Ministers of the Sick lived to assist at a general chapter of his order in Rome during 1613 and to make a last visitation of many of their hospitals.

Learning that he himself was incurably ill, Camillus responded:

“I rejoice in what has been told me. We shall go into the house of the Lord.”

Receiving the Eucharist for the last time, he declared:

“O Lord, I confess I am the most wretched of sinners, most undeserving of your favor; but save me by your infinite goodness.

My hope is placed in your divine mercy through your precious blood.”

After giving his last instructions to his fellow Ministers of the Sick, Camillus de Lellis died on 14 July 1614.

Pope Benedict XIV beatified him in 1742 and canonized in 1746.

Camillus De Lellis is the patron saint of the sick, hospitals, nurses, and physicians. His assistance is also invoked against gambling.

In 1886, Pope Leo XIII proclaimed him patron of all hospitals and of the sick.

In 1930, he was later named – along with Saint John of God – as one of the two main co-patrons of nurses and nursing associations.

[sojourneronearth]

Screwtape letters - C.S. Lewis - summaries and quotes

1. may the weakness of my flesh not rule me to depart from you

2. Help me be not a hypocrite-I am no better than others in pew

3. Help me not neglect the physically spritual matters in relationship

4. Help me focus on knowing &loving your truth, praying to You. Not merely trying to manufacture feelings of love

5. suffering is essential to redemption

6. focus on what I'm doing rather than worrying about what will happen

7. be careful to keep pursuing God as the end (not a wordly end with faith as a means)

8. Troughs in life are what God uses to grow me. He wants me to stand on my own feet&want to love him even when all else seems to show he’s gone

9. know that life is an undulation. But faith in Christ is never just ’a phase’

10. learn to be consistent -Bweekdays &sunday morning. be not conformed to this world. Keep me humble, not to think I’m better than another whether Christian/not

11. be aware, the danger of jokes

12. There can be danger in continuing the outward external habits of a Christan but falling away spiritually. There are no signposts to hell

13. Active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened. The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act and in the long run, the less he will be able to feel

14. all good virtues should end in self-forgetfulness. Take full delight and gladness in something you’ve made, then ‘forget’ about it

15. God wants us to focus on either eternity-with him forever or present-what he have us do now

16. learn to be a church pupil rather than critic

17. beware of the gluttony of delicacy

18. romanticism can be an unhelpful distortion of love

19. realise many a things are not ’good’ or ‘bad’. Love is not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. If lean towards bad >>acesticism. If good >> danger of it being noble. Beware that Satan uses both to steer us away from God

20. Beware of an undesirable marriage grown out of a desire to marry

21. my time is not my own. Consider, if i just give this bit of time for God. And this. And this..

22. God is a hedonist at heart. There are pleasures at his hand forevermore

23. If Satan cannot remove spirituality from our lives, he’ll corrupt it

24. There’s danger in ‘spiritual pride’. ‘My set’ is more interesting, better, I have a right to associate with

25. God has instilled in us the pleasure of change & the pleaseure of permanance. Careful of the desire, unhealthy desire of novelty

26. There are 2 understandings of unselfishness. 1-taking trouble for others. 2-not giving trouble to others. Because of danger of self-righteousness think you have been less selfish. It can lead to the Generous Conflict Illusion “If each side had been frankly contending for it’s own real wish, they would all have kept within the bounds of reason&courtesy; but just because the contention is reversed&each side is fighting the other side’s battle, all the bitterness which really flows from thwarted self-righteousness&obstinacy&the accumulated grudges..is concealed from them by the nominal or offical “unselfishness’ of what they are doing or, at least, held to be excused by it”

27. Anything that is brought before God in prayer is powerful and thwarts Satans’ plans. Distractions..sins..anything.

28. For one still alive, just as there is hope of repentance. There is danger of falling away

29. “Despair is a greater sin that any of the sins which provoke it”

20. Fatigue could lead to tempers “whatever he says, let his inner resolution be not to bear whatever comes to him, but to bear it” for a reasonable period and let the reasonable period be shorter than the trial is likely to last. It need not be Much shorter; in attacks on patience, chastity, and fortitude, the fund is to make the man yield. just when (had he but know it) relief was almost in sight

31. I will know God’s hand in all things when I see Him face to face.

[galacticgraceart]

Queer Erasure

~ a painting about how it feels to have parts of yourself shoved down and ignored, to make you seem more “presentable”, even if it’s erasing core parts of yourself. More about my personal experience with it below

~ materials used : gouache paint for the colors, white & black gel pens for the details, metallic gold paint marker for the inner border and a black sharpie for the outer border

⭐️✨🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑✨⭐️

My personal experience

Trigger warning for religious trauma & suicidal ideation

( Im not going into details or specifics about either, but I do mention them mostly to try to normalize experiences of those who might’ve gone through similar things as me )

Ive known since a young age that I experienced love differently than the others around me, I didn’t develop actual crushes until older and they were never on just one gender. Love for me never had to do with someone’s self expression, physical parts or appearances, but to how I felt when I was with them and how we understood each other

Now I grew up going to a Baptist church in Texas, luckily for me most of the youth there didn’t mind queer folk and some were also fellow queers, but their parents did. The adults in the church made comments about how being gay is on the same level as murder ( since they were both sins in Gods eyes ), my best friend at the time’s dad made jokes to me in church about my SH scars ( I was 15 years old ) and others talked bad about me to my friends and my parents behind my back. I had always been taught in Sunday school that church was a place for everyone to feel welcome, but I had always felt far from it

Slowly I learned to tuck all the different parts of myself away; dress the way my mom wanted me to, to not speak as much and never speak out of line to authority, mirror those I’m around and to just go to sleep if I got overwhelmed, never actually learning how to deal with my emotions and instead shut them out. One day I looked in the mirror and realized, I don’t recognize myself anymore and I’ve never been unhappier. I knew something had to change, so I stopped going to church, I stopped talking to a lot of my old friends, I stopped trying in school, I just stopped everything. I needed a hard reset on life and to spend time reflecting on myself

Around that time, I moved out, made some new friends and spent most of my time crying to be totally honest; unpacking two decades of pent up & ignored trauma, is an extremely ugly process. Back then I was on anti-depressants, anti-psychotics & also relied heavily on smoking 🍃 to help ease the pain. I’m 25 now though and have successfully been off of my meds for a few years now & have been sober since January of this year. And I’m proud to say, I finally feel not only an understanding of who I want to be, but confident as well

I don’t want to paint myself as a perfect picture, I am & always will be far from that; I still get depressed, anxious over nothing, struggle to understand the source of some emotions still & large groups of people still scare the hell out of me, but I am able process emotions without shutting down, unashamedly dress / express myself the way I want, I’m not afraid to speak up for myself anymore and my depression / anxiety don’t dictate what I can and can not do anymore. To me, that’s a win and I’m proud of my growth. Even if I feel like shit some days, most days I don’t. And I like who I am, which is something I never imagined I’d get to achieve

And to anyone out there reading this that may be stuck in a home that doesn’t accept them, or has learned to hate themself; just keep surviving for now. Even if you can’t give it your all, just keep getting through the day. And then the next. One day you WILL find yourself and WILL be among good friends and a found family that loves you for you, unfortunately though that sort of connection just takes time. From one labeled “lost cause” to another I know it may hopeless now, but I promise you that if just keep surviving for now, one day you will be able to thrive❤️

Anyways thank you for reading this far if you did, I am known to yap lol I hope you’re all having a good day!

Stay safe and stay whimsical💜✨

[curhartwrites]

Opening Doors: Starting a Queer, Pro-Palestine Chavurah in West Philly

Wednesday March 5th, 2025

I used to take the trolley to my Shul – a Reconstructionist Temple housed in an old red brick church – every Saturday morning, carrying in my heart all of the worries of the week, ready to set them down for a few hours and be present with my people and with G-d.

I was a diligent student and congregant. As a de-assimilating Jew, raised in the Christian South and returning as an adult to the faith and traditions my great grandmother whispered to me in broken “Yinglish” behind closed doors, I had the distinct sense that I belonged a little less than the people who stood around me in the pews. Though, by Reconstructionist standards, it wasn’t necessary for me to take conversion classes since I was already Jewish, I still felt that I had to somehow earn my place among the Hebrew camp kids, elderly Yiddish speakers, and men swaying in deep meditation with their tallit over their heads who were now my community. So I came ready to learn, with a notebook and pen in my lap underneath my prayer book. I sat in the front, prayed fervently, and asked lots of questions. I showed up ready to give my time and my labor in exchange for a sense of belonging.

As a young Queer and trans person making long-awaited tesuhvah with Judaism and with G-d, I felt deeply grateful to have found a congregation that was welcoming to people like me. But as a physically disabled person, my participation became increasingly limited. Mobility issues and chronic pain tend to get worse before they get better, and that has certainly been true for me. As I age, tasks like climbing stairs to get into an old church become more and more challenging. When I and several other disabled congregants raised concerns about accessibility in our Temple, our needs were not met. Many people, myself included, were unable to return, both because of our knees and because of our morals. Since then, finding a new Shul has proved incredibly challenging.

Jewish people are not a monolith by any means. Though we share a culture, Jews hold a wide range of sociopolitical values. As an individual, my sociopolitical priorities often place me at odds with my fellow Jews. Gender expansive views on theology and ritual are already a point of contention in many congregations, where leaders and congregants actively debate whether or not women should be included in minyanim (traditional prayer groups of ten individuals) or allowed to become Rabbis. Being trans can make this ongoing debate even more complicated, even in non-Orthodox settings. Jewish leaders may be well intentioned, but if they haven’t met many trans people, they may not have a very clear understanding of what it means to make their community safe and welcoming.

On top of this, I am also loudly and openly in support of Palestinian freedom. This is a political stance that a handful of Jews have taken throughout history, and it’s becoming more and more prevalent as violence in Gaza escalates, but the intensity with which many Jewish people still identify their own spiritual and political futures with the future of the state of Israel makes connecting with other Jews as an anti-Zionist a fraught experience. This is a problem that a lot of Jews, especially young Jews, are facing these days. I am by no means alone in this struggle. More and more observant Jews are leaving their Temples because of irreconcilable political and ethical differences with leadership, and with their communities and families. Without a Shul to ground us in the rituals and social connection of our faith, it’s all too easy to slip from observance of to casual identification with Judaism. This loss of passion is a tragedy to all Jews. In losing these thoughtful and inspired people from religious life, we lose a host of potential teachers, Rabbis, cantors, poets, musicians, and debaters who could be energizing the Jewish people in a time when energy is sorely needed. But the cultural rigidity of so much of public Jewish life makes this loss inevitable.

In the process of “Shul shopping” for a new place to call my spiritual home (that is also physically accessible to me as a disabled person), I’ve had to ask myself some difficult questions. How much work do I want to put into educating the people who are supposed to be educating me? How safe would I feel being the only transgender person in a religious setting? Even in modern congregations that are not segregated along binary gender lines, the roles and expectations within Jewish spaces can still be highly gendered. Where do I, a nonbinary person, fit into those social systems? And as an activist and a believer in the Jewish value of justice, can I identify with a community that is in public support of the occupation of Palestine? With all of these worries on my shoulders, the prospect of going to Shul again (if indeed I could find a Shul that worked for me) began to feel less like a search for a meaningful spiritual refuge, and more like a series of painstaking moral and emotional compromises. A decision had to be made: Make concessions, and resign myself to a quieter, more passive involvement in religious community, or give up on finding a Shul.

It was in revisiting one of my favorite books that I was reminded of a possible third path. In his book “The Jew in The Lotus,” which explores the connection between Judaism and Tibetan Buddhism, author Roger Kamenetz discusses the Chavurah movement which began in the United States in the 1960s, during which Jewish people who were underserved by the communities available to them established small chavurahs (groups of Jewish friends) and met in private homes to pray, study, and celebrate together. The movement has taken off since then, and there are large and small chavurot all over the country that serve different demographics within the wider Jewish community. There are chavurot for Black Jews, Deaf Jews, and even Jews who love yoga. So why not a chavurah for Queer and trans Jews who support Palestinian liberation? There is a certain amount of grief and frustration involved in the decision to start a chavurah, because it does mean accepting the reality that the broader Jewish community, as it exists now, does not serve my needs or the needs of many of my Queer Jewish friends. Again and again, Queer people seeking connection with others have little choice but to do the work of creating our own spaces from the ground up. It’s rare that we are able to simply show up, sit down, and receive the way that other congregants in mainstream Shuls can. We have no choice but to become activists and educators in the spaces where we are meant to be receiving education and care. Starting a chavurah out of my home is inevitably a continuation of this trend. The resources available to me don’t work, so I have to build my own. But there is joy, too, in this difficult choice. Starting a chavurah from scratch means that my chosen family (a household of pro-Palestine trans people) and the people who come to join us for prayer can choose, piece by piece, exactly what we want our weekly spiritual practice to look like. We can discuss as a group what traditions feel meaningful to us “off the rack”, and what traditions we may want to re-work and make our own. The potential there is very exciting.

Torah is not just an old book. It doesn’t just exist in the time in which it was written. Torah is a living body of text with which the Jewish people are in active relationship every day. As we engage in scholarship and debate, and as we live our complex Jewish lives, we breathe new life into the words. As Torah creates us, we create it in turn. The opening of a Queer chavurah in our West Philadelphia rowhouse feels small in the grand scheme of things, but as we commit to gathering together and creating a space where we can connect with each other and with G-d, we are creating Queer Torah. We are crafting new concepts of divinity – of a G-d who made and is made by all of us, not just some of us. Judith Plaskow, author of the classic “Standing Again at Sinai: Judaism From a Feminist Perspective,” writes: “If all are created in the divine image, then our images of G-d must be fluid and multifarious.” As we gather together in this home with friends and neighbors to explore what being Jewish means to us as marginalized people, we become the architects of a new Temple – one that honors this fluid and multifarious nature of the Creator.

This feels, to me, like a project worth documenting. Whether our chavurah stays small or becomes a wider community group, I believe there is value in writing down what we discover together. So each week, as we gather to light candles and break bread and sing, I will record our experiences and share them with you. In this way, you the reader also become a part of our chavurah – a part of the circle of individual lights that together create a blaze of illumination and warmth.

Our chavurah will meet on Fridays for Shabbat, and again on Saturdays for Havdalah. I’m planning to write each entry on the experience on Sundays, and send it out on Mondays. Thank you all for being a part of this project, and holding space for the creation of something new and beautiful. Shalom Aleichem.

-Linden

[yhwhrulz]

Morning and Evening with A.W. Tozer Devotional for June 28

Tozer in the Morning Evidence of the Spirit at Work

Someone wrote to me recently asking what I meant by a statement which occurs in the booklet Paths to Power, which I wrote some years ago. The passage reads: "No one was ever filled with the Holy Spirit without knowing it. The Holy Spirit always announces Himself to the human consciousness." What bothered my correspondent was the nature of this "announcement." Of what does it consist? How may we recognize it? Is it some kind of physical evidence, or what?

This whole question is worthy of larger treatment than I can give it in this limited space. But possibly these thoughts will prove helpful to any who may be confused about the nature of spiritual evidence.

There is such a thing as the secret workings of the Spirit in the soul of man, for a time unknown and unsuspected by the individual. In fact, most of the fruits of the Spirit are unsuspected by the man in whom they are found. The most loving, most patient, most compassionate soul is unlikely to be aware of these graces. He is almost certain to believe that he is anything but loving or patient or kind. Others will discover the operations of the Spirit within him long before he will and will thank God for his sweet Christian character while he may at the same time be walking in great humility before God, mourning the absence of the very graces that others know he possesses.

Tozer in the Evening God Seers

When viewing the religious scene today, we are tempted to fix on one or another weakness and say, "This is what is wrong with the church. If this were corrected, we could recapture the glory of the early church and have pentecostal times back with us again."

This tendency to oversimplification is itself a weakness and should be guarded against always, especially when dealing with anything as complex as religion as it occurs in modern times. It takes a very young man to reduce all our present woes to a single disease and cure the whole thing with one simple remedy. Older and wiser heads will be more cautious, having learned that the prescribed nostrum seldom works for the reason that the diagnosis has not been correct. Nothing is that simple. Few spiritual diseases occur alone. Almost all are complicated by the presence of others and are so vitally interrelated as they spread over the whole religious body that it would take the wisdom of a Solomon to find a single cure.

For this reason, I am hesitant to point to any one defect in present-day Christianity and make all our troubles to stem from it alone. That so-called Bible religion in our times is suffering rapid decline is so evident as to need no proof, but just what has brought about this decline is not so easy to discover. I can only say that I have observed one significant lack among evangelical Christians which might turn out to be the real cause of most of our spiritual troubles. Of course, if that were true, then the supplying of that lack would be our most critical need.

The great deficiency to which I refer is the lack of spiritual discernment, especially among our leaders. . . .

Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.

[lastonegone]

Whenever one person wishes to teach or enlighten another on a particular subject, the typical process is to present basic facts that are simple to understand first. These truths then become the foundation upon which to build further teaching. A math teacher would never begin with physics and then attempt to work back through the vast collection of mathematical concepts until reaching basic multiplication and division. This top-down approach may be useful in giving a very generalized overview of the subject, but the student would get no true understanding of physics. This is why we start mathematical education at an early age with “2+2” and proceed from there.

This is how students of music, art, medicine, and any other discipline will learn; by building a foundation upon which to add more knowledge. Unfortunately, this is the opposite of what I have witnessed in the spiritual teaching found within contemporary American churches.

I am, of course, referring to Christian churches; and I specify the American version because I have little experience with what is taught elsewhere. Within these institutions, people are expected to wrap their minds around deep spiritual concepts as they are presented in their final form with no foundational understanding. Then, from this position of minimal (if any) understanding, the initiates are expected to work backwards through centuries of contradictory teachings to reach true enlightenment. The situation becomes even worse when we realize that the ones who teach are doing nothing more than regurgitating the same misguided guidance that was fed to them. It’s the blind leading the blind in the wrong direction.

I really wish that I could end this thought with a solution, but one has not been revealed to me yet. Thus, the search for foundational truths goes on.

[riverdamien]

The Wounds That Heal!

"Wounds That Remain!"

John 13:1-15

==========================

There is a wound in the heart of these high holy days, a scarlet thread binding both the divine and the human in an experience of deep love and suffering.

Today we celebrate in a particular way the overflowing of God's presence in the Eucharist, in  Christ who is poured out in self-emptying love. This sacrifice overflows into our love and concern as we see Christ present in others; two nights ago I held the hands of an individual dying at San Francisco General, I sat with him until he was gone, I cried, in blessing him--my care, my love, is poured out in Christ who poured out his self-emptying love.

We gaze upon the wounds of Christ crucified on Good Friday, we even adore the wood of the cross on which he hung. On this cross, we encounter the God who submits to being broken out of a deep love for us in our brokenness, the God who becomes wounded to heal our wounds, the God who chooses to walk with us even though that walk ends brutally on Calvary. We contemplate the Great Silence of God amid that suffering.

There is no need to label me--priest/counselor/spiritual director, Reverend, Doctor/ for those words denote a wholeness that none of us have, a wholeness which others look to, all I am is in the words of Henri Nouwen a "wounded healer", I sit in the pain and suffering of others as a result of being a broken, human being. I sit in the Great Silence, simply being present, and that is what I look for at times in my pain, someone simply to sit, listen, without judgment. The Cross calls all of us to experience our own woundedness and become a "wounded healer."

On Holy Saturday we enter into solidarity with all who are bereaved. We contemplate the disorienting stillness of the garden, the unnerving sense of absence, the crushing pain of a future denied. Before the world-shaking eruption of the resurrection, there is only the earth-shattering realm of grief, of knowing some wounds may not be healed this side eternity.

All of us are in grief--over aging, over retirement, not getting the job we were destined for, and on the street many are in a death of not able to obtain housing because of their mental illness, being on the streets so long they know nothing else, and those who are far yond being able to work.

I think of George who is having his feet removed because of drugs and failure to treat his diabetes, he has been on Polk for 20 years and now is alone in the pain in an SRO hotel. I think of Francene who is fifty-something, on the street selling her jewelry, living in SROs, wearing shoes that are worn out, looking for an apartment, that frankly is not there, I wanted to end up retiring from a large church, with praise and glory, I wanted to live a middle-class life, and yet I live on the edge. In this great silence, there is God in the midst of our suffering.

Into this darkness, the first lights of the Easter Vigil flicker, The light shines in the darkness and the night overcomes it (John 1:5). Here we may be tempted to think Easter is simply a big electric blanket thrown over the brutality of the previous days.

And yet when Jesus is risen he still has wounds, pierced hands, pierced side, a pierced heart. The horrible torture he endured, the trauma inflicted upon him by callous, uncaring, and unforgiving people, remains imprinted upon his glorified body.

And the wounds, once a cause of tremendous pain for both redeemer and redeemed, have now become fonts of healing, conversion, gratitude, and joy.

In celebrating these holy mysteries we encounter a wholeness bigger than all the brokenness the world could ever muster, and a goodness greater than all the suffering we may experience.

Most importantly we begin to know the Love that is stronger than death and to learn that this love has a face, and a name, and is holding us with hands that have known suffering. And we believe this Love will always hold us, whatever wounds may come.

As I age, physically decline, and am more wounded; having few friends, and see death more and more, and am wounded with each death I experience, I believe with all my heart, that this Love will hold me, whatever wounds I have and which will come.

The cross above was made last year by a friend and revised this year. On it are photos of young, and I mean young men who have died violent deaths through the years. Each one was homeless, a prostitute, questioning life, and each one is being held in the arms of the Great Love, each one is in the Communion of Saints, and the day is coming when I will see them in all of their wholeness.

Lou Kaver sums it all it all up:

"The central teaching for followers of Jesus is at the heart of Maundy Thursday.

While gathered with  his friends Jesus instructed:

"Love one another," and "By this will others know that you are my followers: your love for one another."

No other dogma, creed, or faith-filled experience is as important as this core teaching."

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

-------------------------------------------

Prayer of St. Brendan!

"Help me to journey beyond the familiar

and into the unknown.

Give me the faith to leave old ways and break fresh ground with You. Christ of the mysteries I trust in You to be stronger than each storm within me.

I will trust in the darkness and know that my times, even now, are in Your hands.

Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,

and somehow, make my obedience count for You"

------------------------------------------------

(Temenos and Fr. River seek to remain accessible to everyone. We do not endorse particular causes, political parties, or candidates, or take part in public controversies, whether religious, political or social--Our pastoral ministry is to everyone!

Press Release:

"Jesus continues to be crucified in all those who are crucified in history...There are not enough Stations of the Cross to depict all the ways in which the  Lord continues to be persecuted, imprisoned, condemned to death and crucified today!"

-Leonardo Boff

What: Non-Violent Witness in the Tenderloin to commemorate Good Friday!

(Rain, Springling, or Threatening to Rain--The Stations of the Cross will proceed at Noon!)

Tenderloin Stations of the Cross

“A Journey With People on the Street!”

“Our Haunted-ness!”

When:

March 29, 2024

Noon-2:00 p.m.

Meet in Front of Polk Street-Side City Hall

Why:

There are approximately 8, 000 people on the street, without housing, or health care, they suffer from prejudice, anger, and hatred; they are shuffled around as if they are "objects" rather than human beings.

As followers of Jesus, and all who care, living in a war-making and uncaring empire we say loudly and clearly with Jesus: "Love one Another," "Love your enemies", "Be merciful as God is merciful," "Put away the sword," and "Thou shalt not kill."

We witness as people of faith who believe in God's reign of justice, love, peace, and restorative justice!

Sponsored by Temenos Catholic Worker

For more information:

Fr. River Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.

415-305-2124

temenos@gmail.com

www.temenos.org

www.paypal.com

---------------

\

[solardick]

More magic

This allows a fine placement for the anglican fool. On the peak of a mountain. Well, if he wasn’t peering at the moon instead of the radiance of the sun, perpetuity and sight. A lasting moment instead of the constant flux of menstrual bs cockblocking life.

What about temperanve? I dont know. Im to fucked to straigth. I wonder what having trust in aomwone feels like. I womder what having someone to talk to feels like. Oj well the things in life one may never know. Its just me bei g fucked by the world since my first memory. Theres nothing to gain in life and nothing else to learn. That’s all theres ever been. I dont want to be alive anymore. All they fucken do is ruin mt fucken life. The temperance card disappears. Fitting. In the qwerty, she stands between shattered barriors and the french fool. This is probably the worst card in the deck. It stems from the vagabond, the homeless, the destitute. Of ridicule, further debasement, mal-intentions. Call him jack. To fit the old song. O dont even need to name it you already know. Or if you don’t y’ah may just hit the road. The dog here serves as a mass of people. While also serving place in the discontent for dis shelved dog lowering the quality of peace in the environment. The warning of intruders. As the next scene over is also the moon.

This fool is also found deeply interconnected to the emperor, in sight of, and the promise of mobility through out the land. All these require the utility of structuralism and maintenance outside the realm of nature.

The dominance given to the emperor over the centuries was in the implementing a foundation of territory and influence into the creations of the mechanized world outside of The world. As it actually is. The church here as a guiding principle forward. A tower, in its own sense. Its only in this marriage of conditioning in which he is given license to roam, if it were.

In order to accomplish this, the fool inside the guidance of the emperor in turn, inside the influence of the church requires the destruction of land. The empress holding number 3 here, gets paired up mathematically to card 16 the tower. (In the land of nature) equals card 13. Death.

Temperance here should, according to this plan, merge death and the devil. Here between death and desires. At least in a linear pattern. If one card flows in the next, and going with the flow bs. Its a sewer not a river. Unfortunately a majority of these cards all play back to the emperor, and change, destruction, and death. The qwerty system at least with the added self plays better than this lot of trash.

The temperance card thus could be given the sequence;

Depending on which cards here one chooses to add. Fools dont always mean a lack of experience but, pose as figures representing wisdom and the ability to draw out possibilities. If there is a actual proper placement for the vowels, would pull this whole argument in question. And the more one question the tarot the more evil finds route to grow.

Here, above the sequence one may layer the moon card between death and the fool. And the tower, as destruction between the fool and the devil. Which is what it would be under duress and calamity. The death card belonging to the il matto card shows death gathering resources and is often identified and categorized to scorpio. It also shows affinity by sequence to taurus. Peace, tranquility, security to “sensuoso”. And the organized state of the material. Which may also be found under the heading of a door and departure. The past dies and a new journey is birthed to the present moment.

The structured tower, in winter, comes in and shows the sequence with a new light. And the environment is hostile and overwhelming, the allure of the devil’s invitation to physical comfort and protection from the elements. Whatever they may be. Of course this imagery is only higher relevant or appropriate to temperate climate zones. To the physical and not solely on the “spiritual”. For death does start this sequence and it involves desires vs. resources, ehatever they may be.

Literally, as in written, the sequence may thus be spelled as ;

QwE >R< AtS

Or as something similar, save for the limitations of type.

The moon card is something worth noting too. It seems as if the card itself was designed after the letter. Like other cards to mention. The letter itself over layered as the image, which now would seem absolute agreement. Planet wise it is said to be the moon in pisces, which is the breeding ground of “objects” that bear as feed towards development in a new cycle. An end sequence imagined as curtains closing and all the influences behind the script appear. They all take a bow. But it all seems inconsequential and unentertaining so, everyone leaves unless the music invites attention. That entire vision now being poured into beat. It also shows a very heavy descend of force and the emergance of what is tradionallky taught to be pincing balance. And the release of animal nature or crippling pressure. And that force is set out into the world. And it would seem to be searching punishment. One finds Waite’s death card doing just that.

The craw fish itself, under biblical doctrine is considered unclean and unfit to be included in consumption. To be an active part in the everyday experience. Shell fish, which may cause severe allergic reactions. If the card holds one dog and one wolf like it’s been said to do. Shows a clash in civility, and order. The tame and the wild.

While also showing a destination. A distance to need a travel. But one doesn’t need to rely on traditional symbolism. The second tower doesn’t need to be affixed a mars. There’s other possibilities. Taken as a relationship. With the winter, one finds Saturn. Saturn rules winter. The increasing darkness produces increasing ligthness. And shows people living in the grey and focusing on a glass half full. The scene speaks of exposure.