#i care about my followers and moots of course and always have some love in my heart for everyone

[p0ssywhippedcream]

anon saying this account is mdni it’s worth mentioning this account is owned by a minor too so really it’s all for show

hi hun! let’s actually not make assumptions about people! I am not a minor, I don’t know what post that anon is talking about and the reason I don’t share my age is because of something personal you have no business knowing, not because I’m underage.

please keep in mind that while you know my name and some other bits of personal information, you don’t know everything about me and I keep it that way for a reason.

[xoxochb]

yooooo happy 300 followers!!!! I’m so glad we’re moots <3

Anyways I’m requesting I LOVE YOU, I HOPE THAT YOU’RE OKAY with Leo Valdez and Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA if that’s cool, and if you haven’t ever written anything with that song before

ok, have a nice day!

⋆·˚ ༘ * don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me!!

warnings: idk how to feel about the ending but that’s it

pairing: leo valdez x daughter of poseidon

leo wasn’t one to get jealous, he was never like this before, but once you started dating things had been different. every time you tried to even speak to another man leo would classify as ‘attractive’ he would come over and wrap an arm around your waist or maybe a kiss to your lips if he was feeling confident enough

he supposes he feels this way because he’s insecure about himself. how could he get a girl as beautiful as you to be with him? he asks himself everyday what you saw in him, what made you want to stay with him. you assured him everyday that you loved him and he was the only boy you wanted to be with and even though you’re always reminding him of this he still can’t come to his senses that you actually, genuinely like him

today was one of those occasions where you had been talking with another boy, some aphrodite kid you didn’t know the name of. he was talking absolute nonsense, it started off as compliments then went on to asking you your favorite flowers, then onto many subjects that were awfully flirtatious. you wish leo would have been here, but he left when the boy pulled you away so now you’re stuck with an idiot who doesn’t get the hint you don’t like him

when you finally found an excuse to leave you hurried to find your lover. you searched his usual spots and when you couldn’t find him there you got worried. you feel as though you searched the whole camp at this point the only place you can think of is the beach, so that’s where you go. with your luck that’s where you find him

of course it’s the last spot you look

you sit beside him on the sand “hey”

“hey” he mumbles

you frown. he never greets you like this, it’s always a bone-crushing hug or a kiss with an ‘I missed you’ no matter how long you had been apart. but now he sits with a saddened demeanor, playing with the grains of sand, even refusing eye contact. perhaps you had done something without knowing it

“did I do something wrong?” you ask

there’s silence for a moment before he speaks “it’s me”

your heart breaks for him. why must he always blame himself for everything? “what do you mean?”

“why do you like me?”

poor boy. you want to take all his sadness and self doubt and throw it into the deepest depths of the universe, places nobody coil reach

“oh leo” you take his hand in both of yours, holding them delicately “if I gave you every reason we would be here for eternity”

he cracks a smile. there’s your leo

you continue speaking, “I love you because you are the sweetest boy ever. you always make beautiful things for me, you put yourself first always, you make sure that my needs are fulfilled before yours, you worry when I haven’t eaten, you take care of me when I’m sick, you build fires to keep me warm, you comfort me when I’m sad and calm me when I’m angry. you always try your hardest to make me laugh regardless the situation, you always make sure I’m happy. and not to mention that you’re an amazing kisser and incredibly sexy. but anyways what I’m trying to say is that no other boy would treat me as good as you do and I swear on the river styx I would never even think of being with anyone else but you���

he looks at you with adoration “really?”

“really” you confirm

you slip your shorts off, revealing bikini bottoms “now c’mon fire boy, lay all your love on me”

oh he surely would if you asked like that

[shutupitsnezza]

Sick days 🌡️🏨

Authors note: this is my first post!! Moots ik I’m like rly inactive but this would be a good time to come in clutch and help me out here 😔. Anyways i decided to write this bc their is barely any agent fics like NONE ands all of them that exist are like REALLY smutty and nothing against smut or anything it’s js ya girl needs some cute stuff every once and a while 😭. Lmk if y’all want me to make a follow up on this where agents the sick one. (Also for anyone that writes on here a lot if u got any tips of me PLEASE help a girl out 😭😭.

Summary: agent finds you sick and takes care of you.

Warning: fluff??

Their you where laying in your bed burning up sick with a nasty cold. Fall had just started and the cold weather hit you hard getting you sick basically the week temperatures dropped. Your head was pounding your nose was stuffy and your whole body ached. Your a streamer as well and you were supposed to stream today but as of right now it seemed impossible. You layed in bed restless not wanting to do anything. You had barely eaten anything for breakfast and had only gotten up from bed to eat. You knew you had to get up but you just really couldn’t bring yourself self to. All of the sudden you get a FaceTime from your amazing boyfriend. He call you everyday to check up on you and today you were dreading answering. It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to him it’s that you knew what he would do once he figured out you were sick. He’d drop everything and come take care of you treat you like a princess (as if you already don’t get princess treatment enough) and not let you get up from bed to do anything and cuddle you even though you refuse and get sick himself. And as much as you secretly loved that, you hated him having to waste his time and take the time out of his already busy life JUST to take care of you as if you can’t do it yourself. It made you feel really bad on top of the fact that he would usually get sick in the process. Which you make you feel 10 times worse. But of course you couldn’t stop yourself from answering as you knew he would get worried if you didn’t answer him at all. And let’s be honest, you couldn’t not want to see your boyfriend handsome face. You turned off your camera so he couldn’t see you snotty face and answered. “Hey ma. How you been?” He said to you. Somthing about the way he always called you “ma” made you melt. “I’m good baby just at home”. You said in a nasal voice that you tried to make sound like you weren’t sick but it didn’t really work. He quickly picked up on your voice “ma you alright?” He said a bit concerned. “Y-yeah baby I’m fine how’s your day been?” You said trying to desperately change the topic. Then it hit him what was up. He sighed a bit at the camera “ma can you turn on your camera for me?”. “Oh uhh I’m like in the middle of something-“ “y/n turn on your camera please”. Reluctantly you gave in and turned on your camera. You where laying on your bed a tissue in hand and your eyes about to close on you. You were holding your phone on the bed sideways as you softly smiled at the camera. “Ma you should’ve just told you were sick. I’m on the way be their in 5.” “Babe what no stop don’t-“ and before you knew it he hung up on you and was coming. You could already feel your heart hurting for making him come all the way to you and take care of you. As much as you hated it you could only let him at the end of the day because you knew you needed it. You sighed and decided to close your eyes and rest a bit before he got there. You were resting when all of the sudden you heard movement and felt eyes on you. You slowly opened you eyes to see agent smiling at you as he sat on the edge of your bed. “Morning” he chuckled. You softly smiled at him looking over trying to see what was in his hands preying he didn’t go out of his way to get you somthing. He got you somthing. “I got you your favorite”, he said smiling at you. He got you [insert whatever your favorite restaurant/ food place is] you sat up and took the food from him reluctantly. “Baby i told you you don’t have to go out and buy me stuff cmon i mean i really appreciate it but-“ he cut you off mid sentence. “Shhh don’t worry about ittttt. It don’t concern you right now what i do with my money. Now move over lemme get next to you” “baby i wish you could but i really don’t wanna get you sick. And you being here is just enough.” You said smiling at him. He then gently moved you over by lifting you up just a bit as he quickly got behind you wrapping his arms around you lightly kissing your forehead. “Babyyyyyy” you whined in protest. “Your my girl ma let me hold you” you sighed knowing you had no choice but to give in.

And so you spent the rest of the day watching yours guy’s favorite show, cuddling, you being forced to take your medicine and having a sick day. You recovered after a few days for just as you expected, your boyfriend to get sick. But right then in that moment with your boyfriend it didn’t matter. Cause whille you were sick on the outside, in the inside you felt amazing being coddled by your boyfriend.

[sunvmars]

⋆ ˚｡⋆˚✧･ﾟ✧･ 1k celebration!･✧･˚✧˚⋆｡˚ ⋆

*navigation/directory | request box | taglist | masterlist | latest fic

⤷ thank you SO much for 1k followers, i love you all my babies :,) i've had this blog since i was 14 and was flabbergasted when i reached 200, but ONE THOUSAND OF YOU?? i'm so happy i could kiss all of you (and i might). i appreciate all of you who have shown me any support over the last 5 years, sooo it only felt right to give y'all what you want after my half a year hiatus (i apologize, i still love y'all) -junebug

⤷ so this is the run down ⁀➷

― for the next two/three weeks, i plan to publish two x reader fics a week OR a fic a week plus an additional on the weekends

― i'll give brief descriptions of each fic i've got lined up under code names, and they will be published over the course of the next two or three weeks

― all of the fics will be written and published!! your only job is to pick your favorite of the line up, and results will determine which order i write and post them

― the most popular two will be choose your ending (smut, fluff, and or angst)!! sooo, here's your options:

bucky barnes ‣ sunshine: no matter how sweet you are, something about you has always irked bucky. so he avoids you, but he's forced to confront his confusing feelings when its your life on the line. steve rogers + bucky barnes ‣ cabin: bucky and steve both adore you, so they agree that whoever makes the first move gets you. but when you, steve, and bucky are trapped in a safe house post-mission due to a heavy snow storm, you get to the bottom of their 'plan,' and discover that maybe three isn't really a crowd. ‣ botanical: you've been with steve for a few weeks, and with things getting serious, he invites you to dinner with the team. you hang around more often after that, but the one problem is that steve's best friend, bucky, avoids you but praises you to steve. steve rogers ‣ astronomy: you've been pining after steve for a year. after a party, the two of you hook up and lead a fwb relationship for weeks. he slowly stops coming around, and when you go to confess that you want more, you discover he found more in someone else. ‣ clouded: after tony's funeral and steve's reluctant return, you move out of state for fresh air. you and steve disagreed a lot despite his lasting crush on you, and you leaving only further strained your friendship. so, when you return for a month to stay with sam, bucky, and steve, tension gets high as steve sees you date around. ‣ messenger: with your past relationship trouble and steve's ability to fluster easily, you and steve's fairly new relationship is struggling with intimacy. don't worry, though, nat sniffed it out like a hound and plans to fix it with lacy images sent from you after some pleading. steve rogers + lloyd hansen ‣ thread: on the run after a mission gone horribly wrong, you and steve stumble across lloyd and manage to save him from six. much to steve's dismay, you invite him to hide out with the two of you, and somehow lloyd weaseled his way into your heart and your relationship. lloyd hansen ‣ thunder: you are lloyd's woman through and through; you take care of him and he provides for you, you nurture him so he pampers you. you're the only one who's ever understood him, and you're the only one he's ever been ever tolerate. he adores you, you're practically his prized possession, but he does not love you.

well, go ahead, choose your fav! ⁀➷

again, thank you to all of you! i love you guys <3

a few of my fav supporters/moots:

@pigeonmama @rogersbarber @buckysprettybaby @mrsevans90 @starksbabie <3

[featherlumina]

8, 12 and 17 for the ask game 😁

Thank you so much @duttfisch! Apologies for the Genesis spam below, haha. XD

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

GENESIS BEING INCLUDED IN THE NIBELHEIM INCIDENT. People treat this like some unholy retcon, the greatest narrative sin Square Enix could've committed via the Compilation. And I for one think that's a complete over-reaction.

Seriously. Sure, Sephiroth's definitely not in a good mental headspace by now, but having Genesis water the freshly planted seeds in Seph's mind in the reactor only serves to drive him further down in a really believable way. I always found it a little odd how quickly Seph seemed to spiral in the OG (admittedly Rebirth handled it better), so I think the addition of Genesis makes the scene more fleshed out and raises even more questions for Sephiroth to investigate in the manor.

And a fun one for good measure that's been disproven by Nomura himself - the fact that everyone is like 'hurr durr Genesis can't come back cause Gackt says no / Square won't pay for his likeness'. Admittedly less people are using this as a 'ew no Genesis is icky he can't come back' now, but it was SUPER annoying for like a decade up till this point.

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

Feel like I should be putting my clown makeup on at this point because yep, my answer's Genesis! Again! XD Between the rest of the awesome peeps / moots on Tumblr who've argued for why Gen actually is or has the potential to be really interesting, I think it's fairly obvious why, but I'll summarise my view.

Basically, Genesis suffered from poor writing. Between that and the intense LOVELESS quoting making up the majority of his dialogue, I can see why it frustrated people. But if you look beyond that you'll discover some really neat stuff:

Having Genesis (and by extension, Angeal) as prototypes to Sephiroth actually makes boatloads of sense scientifically. You can't expect ShinRa to pop out Sephiroth on the first try, can you?

Genesis can basically go toe-to-toe with Sephiroth for an extended period of time, which is just... insane, when you think about it. Cloud and Zack have both reached similar heights but Sephiroth is just on a whole other level, so the fact there are a select few who can last against him is just really neat.

Bro had his world shattered and understandably lashed out at the company that shaped and controlled his entire existence. We're on Zack's side for Crisis Core, but it's pretty clear the real world-destroyers are ShinRa, and I think Crisis Core could've done a better job at helping us see Gen's perspective a bit more.

His aesthetic is just gorgeous, let's be honest here. That red coat is iconic and I want it. Superb character design (bless you Gackt for choosing red over black or white.)

Canonically he was well-liked and respected by the majority of SOLDIER, given that he convinced so many SOLDIERs to leave with him. People don't just follow you to the ends of the earth willy-nilly. Also, despite being an 'introvert' and averse to large people groups, he displayed kindness and gentleness with his younger comrades. Gillian called him 'such a good boy' for a reason, damn it!

...and I probably have more, but my hands are tired. XD

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art.

Honestly, I'm a sucker for hurt/injured/degrading Genesis and him both going through trauma and then being comforted and cared for by his loved ones. It's a major part of why I started Thing With Feathers after all. XD

I also love seeing how people explore Genesis' relationship with his changing body/his wing. I could read stuff about that for days.

Also would love to see more written redemption arcs for Genesis, whether it's through 'what-if' AUs or post DoC.

Lastly, I'm not hugely into overly sexual stuff, so any of the above fics without anything explicit is just *chef's kiss*. Of course I understand that many folks love the spicy stuff on its own or mixed into a plot, and that's okay! Just not my cup of tea is all.

[emilsgrippers]

This is more of a personal post nothing rlly TD related so just a heads up. It’s also more of a vent so…don’t read if u don’t wanna

I’m really sorry my content kinda went so downhill lately.

I have been in a bad place for a long time—due to friends, the way things are going, my living situation, and just the way life in general is going.

Me, my mom, and one of my grandmas went somewhere for Halloween—to dress up and have fun, you know..halloweeny things.

Yesterday, on Halloween, I got insanely sick. Head throbbing, throat burning to where I couldn’t speak or breathe…and I just had to deal with it because my body physically won’t let me take any medicine. While I’m typing this, I’m still fighting this god awful sickness and I feel like death reincarnated

I feel like I’m nothing without some kind of reassurance..like without someone constantly in my ear saying “you’re awesome truss!” but that shouldn’t be someone’s job.

One of my main escapes from how god boring and mentally draining my day-to-day life is—is drawing!!—or posting silly things online to you guys..

I really like drawing, I have fun with it I enjoy it..but more often than not, if doesn’t get too much recognition. It does get some—and I’m very thankful!! But stuff like this::

My furina drawing took about 2ish hours, and I’m very proud with the result, but it got about 16/18(? Haven’t re-checked) likes which of course heavily unmotivates me.

I love putting detail and lots of time into my stuff…but I just feel like it’s all for nothing—hence why I haven’t been posting much art, I just don’t feel like the people like it.

With my headcanony stuff I post every other day(mostly), it also doesn’t do very well. I always kinda think that it’s because I headcanon the same two characters over and over again….but they’re my favs and I don’t want to go out of my way to make headcanons for characters I personally don’t care about too much… IE chase. (Sorry chase)

I know very well that nobody is obligated to like all my content, but I’m trying my hardest to share my cool Bridgette stuff to all my Bridgette fans out there—but I just feel like it doesn’t get there and it bums me out.

But also—I’ve seen a lot of mh mutuals vent or stuff,, and my main thing would normally always be to stop and say something comforting—because I always want to make sure someone’s okay but I just. I’m not in a half decent mental state and I can barely conjure up an “itll be okay”. So to my moots whose vents I scrolled past in a panic: I’m really sorry, and I hope you’re all doing okay. You’re all amazing, and I hope you’re doing better.

Enough about my content & stuff though and heres my apology::

I really am sorry that I’m kinda just..falling off. Staying somewhat relevant is very important to me because I am ultimately nothing. I don’t have many friends, and I’m a very isolated person..though not by choice. The only friends I really have kind of..hurt and or play w/ my feelings? More often than not, atleast. But that’s nobodies problem but my own

I’m still whipping up little headcanons and au things , and I swear when I (hopefully) move and get out of the disheartening place I live—I will make it my mission to draw more…post more..etc…and I’m sorry I didn’t immediately start off this account with that intent. Thank you for continuing to follow my account despite how rough my content has become. I am..very very VERY thankful for you.

[rakassauce]

welcome, and howdy!!!

yo, I'm raka. an artist who adores the scene subculture, anime/cartoons, and the old internet. been a while since i did an intro, and I don't particularly enjoy my current one. so, i thought i'd fix that!

but before i get into it, lemme begin with some ground rules:

DNI if you are/support ANY of the following:

a proshipper/comshipper

a terf/truscum/transmed/transphobic in any way

anti-palestine (however, that doesn't give you the right to be an anti-semite, that shit ain't cool)

Are a pro-lifer, this is a pro-choice zone babie

anti-neopronouns

ableist

a MAP/YAP, get that pedo shit outta here

a neo-nazi/on some type of white supremecist shit

a zoophile

...they gone now? yeah? cool, let's rock n' roll. (quick heads up for flashing blinkies/images, and eyestrain. that's gonna be a constant on this blog.)

name: raka/alex/izzy

age: 16, turning 17 on JULY 14TH!!!

DOB: 07/14/2007

pronouns: she/he/they

current hyperfixation: YU-GI-OH!!!!

favorite color: hot pink/red/neon green

favorite song: party like a millionaire - millionaires/i also like genres like rock, electronic, and pop

favorite games: sims (4 and 3), touhou project, legend of zelda

hobbies: scouring the internet, watching anime, drawing, spending time w/ my bf

favorite food: menudo!! my nanny (that's what I call my grandma ^^;) makes it for me occasionally and on my bday nearly every year

dislikes: assholes, unnecessary internet discourse, instagram comments, my horrible sleep schedule (help lol)

favorite movie(s): yugioh the movie: pyramid of light, bill and ted's excellent adventure, idle hands

likes: the night, old internet vibes, art, magical girls (SAILOR MOON), scene kid stuff

loves: my dad and my boyfriend!!!

rando facts: i'm half mexican :] i wanna learn more spanish to be in touch with my mom's side of the family. i've only ever finished one anime despite starting a few, and that would be Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. even though i'm on ep 27 of the 2003 version of FMA (it's on hold since it isn't my current fixation), i honestly prefer it. my favorite vocaloids are hatsune miku and kagamine rin and len)! now if we're talking utauloids: yokune ruko and kasane teto.

my tags:

#raka's sauce (my art)

#other people's awesome sauce (reblogged art)

#raka reblogs!

#raka's brain dump

#raka's cc finds!!

so, i'm raka. i've lurked around the internet for a little while now--since I was about five. restricted internet access? don't know her. i only started really participating in online communities when i was about 10, on quotev and amino (rip, it was a shitshow but i had a good time for the most part). at some point i just kinda...fell off of trying to find internet spaces? it didn't really feel fun anymore, y'know? i went back to lurking, looking at stuff i enjoyed/making things in silence.

well, fuck that. if i wanna have fun, i'm gonna make it fun. i love drawing, i always have!! i've been drawing since i was about five or six. it's always been an escape for me during REALLY rough times--it made me happy to draw my favorite characters, and even create my own! i love interacting with fandom spaces too, finding folks who are into the same stuff i am. connecting with strangers is fun, when you don't really know anybody irl who shares your exact interests!

i wanna make/reblog fandom art on here, and maybe make moots/friends. i also have OCs i love and adore that i'd like to share--with lore, of course.

i hope y'all have a wonderful day or night!!! take care of yourselves!!!

with all that said, blinkie/stamp dump time!!! a further insight of myself, if you will

sources for a few stamps:

Mel-Rosey on Deviantart

StarriiChan on Deviantart

kas7ia on Deviantart

blinkies.cafe for blinkies

YukiMiyasawa on Deviantart | another stamp from them

hissatsugirl on Deviantart

Papikari on Deviantart

Magica-28 on Deviantart

RaptureCyner on Deviantart

and feel free to hmu on other things such as:

discord - rakassauce

artfight

spacehey (i need to finish up my profile :/ sorry for mess)

instagram

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #49 (part four)

previously - Journal Entry #49 (part three)

Victor

When I'd finished recounting the events of my visit with Dr. Ishida, I looked to see if Yuri was still awake. He'd let go of my fingers at some point, and I thought maybe he'd fallen asleep. He hadn't. It appeared as though he'd been hanging onto every word.

I smiled at him. "You doing okay?"

"You're going to look cute with glasses," he said.

"That was your take-away piece?"

The corners of his mouth quirked upward, and I got the impression that he'd be laughing if he had the strength for it. "No, I got everything. Reading, going to university, snowboarding. But, that doesn't change the fact that I think you'll be cute with glasses."

"I'm pretty excited," I said. “I can’t wait to find out how much my reading’s gonna improve. Like, maybe it’s really true that I’m not stupid after all.”

“You’re not stupid,” he said. “Don’t I keep telling you that?”

“Now we can find out for sure.”

“You need to discover it for yourself before you fully believe it, don’t you? I think I can understand that.”

“As soon as I get my glasses, I’m going to read the hardest book I can find,” I said.

Yuri gave me an indulgent look. “Of course you are. I wouldn’t have expected otherwise.”

“Know what I’m going to do after that? I’m going to ask Ellie to send me a couple of her old books from nursing school, and I’m gonna see if I can read those. You know, because… reasons.”

“You’re still wavering between physical therapy and nursing, then?”

“Yeah, but you know one of the big reasons why I was struggling to choose is because I didn’t think I could do all the reading for nursing. I’m still really interested in physical therapy, but I think I’d do better as a nurse. I’m thinking licensed practical nursing, ‘cause it’s more hands-on.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’d be an amazing nurse,” Yuri said.

“You’d know,” I acknowledged. “You’re probably in the best position to know, actually.”

"Well, now you’ve got to figure out what you really want to do. You obviously can’t stay in Japan to train and compete, and go to university in Canada at the same time."

“Yeah, and there's the haunted house. Depending on what happens, we may or may not end up buying it.”

"Yes, the haunted house," he echoed. "I think we have a lot to talk about."

"When you're feeling better," I said. "I want to figure everything out as soon as we can, but none of it is so urgent that it can't wait a few weeks. I mean, it's still up in the air whether or not I'll be able to compete again anyway. I won't know that until I see Dr. Sato again and have all my scans and stuff."

"Do you really want to compete again?"

"I didn't want to stop,” I said.

"So, I should ignore what you said before?" he asked.

"When? If I said it when I was in the hospital, just assume you can't rely on any of it. Unless I said I love you. That's totally true."

""You're the light of my world. You know that, don't you?" he said. "I know I can always rely on you loving me."

"Just like I know you love me,” I said.

"I do," he said. "Very much. More than anything."

We can decide what to do once we have more information."

"That's reasonable," he said. He was quiet for several seconds, but then he ventured, "There is something we have to talk about now, though."

"If you're feeling well enough, we can."

"If I were feeling well, it'd be a moot point."

I chewed my lower lip, slightly worried about what he might say next. "What's up?"

"Dr. Kasongo and Dr. Shibazaki both think I'm going to need home care."

I remembered that Dr. Shibazaki was the one who'd seen Yuri when his parents and I brought him to the emergency department, and she's still following up with his care. The other doctor, Espérance Kasongo, is Yuri's gastroenterologist. She's the one who's most closely monitoring him, and the one primarily responsble for his care while he's here.

I nodded. "Dr. Kasongo told me."

"What did you say to her? Did you agree?"

"I told her I'd have to wait until I could talk about it with you," I said. "I can't make that decision for you as long as you're capable of making it for yourself. If you want to know what I really think, though, I do agree with her."

The expression on his face was one of betrayal. "You do?"

"I don't like the idea," I said. "If we had a choice, I'd say no because obviously I'd be looking after you myself, but that's not an option right now 'cause I still need help too."

"But, our parents and Uncle Kaz—"

"Mom and Julian have to go home, and I assume Uncle Kaz does as well, so that’ll just leave your parents. We can't expect them to do everything. You know your dad's not going to be able to stay away from the office for too much longer. Plus, he and your mom still have Yuki to look after, and they'll be busy getting ready for the baby, too."

"Kinai," he said. "That's what they're calling him. The baby."

"Your mom says they're going to court to ask a judge to give them full custody of him," I said.

"I think it's a terrible idea, but Papa seems pleased about it."

"They want to adopt him eventually."

"I'm staying out of it," he declared. "I want as little to do with that whole situation as possible."

"Because you don't like babies?"

"Because I don't like Hana," he stated. "She's going to cause as much trouble as she can, and all her nonsense is going to take our parents' time and attention away from me and Yuki. Besides, being anywhere near Hana is stressful. I don't need that."

"No, you don't," I agreed.

He sighed. "I wish you could look after me at home. Then we wouldn't have to worry about asking my parents or anyone else."

"Me too, but you know I need both arms for that."

"I know. It's just... I don't want home care. I don't want some stranger touching me and... and doing intimate things for me."

"People are doing that here," I pointed out.

"I don't like them doing it here, either," Yuri said. "But, our home is my safe place. I don't—"

His voice hitched and he stopped speaking, and then quickly pressed a hand to his mouth to stifle the whimper that was trying to escape.

"It'll be okay," I said.

He stared at me, eyes wide, as if I'd said something truly horrifying. Behind his hand, his voice was barely audible as he insisted, "No... it won't."

I opened my mouth and drew in a breath to say something in reply, but quickly closed it again when I saw tears in his eyes. He was full-on sobbing within seconds, and his attempt to hold it back became a wasted effort.

Yuri crying that way was a sight so rare that it scared me a little, and it quickly occurred to me that he wasn't just being stubborn and wanting his own way when it came to the home care issue. He was absolutely terrified.

I didn't know what to do. My elation of only minutes before was completely gone, and I was beginning to feel useless and overwhelmed again. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I reached out to stroke his forearm. My cast was probably bumping his poor little arm in a less than comfortable way, but I couldn't sit there and do nothing. I couldn't not try to soothe him.

I wanted to tell him everything would be fine, that the home care nurse wouldn't harm him, that nothing bad would happen, but even though that was surely all true, I didn't know if Yuri was in any state to believe it at the moment.

I tried to imagine myself in his position; sick, scared, physically tiny and too weak to defend himself from anyone who might try to do something to him. Add all that to the fact that he's generally touch-averse and also very particular about his hygiene and personal care habits, and the idea of having a stranger come into our home to tend to him suddenly seemed like an invitation to disaster.

When I first came here and moved in with him in his small rented house in Wakabamori, he'd barely let me touch him. The most we could do in the beginning was hold hands or hug briefly, and it'd taken time for him to understand that I wasn't going to hurt him. Ironically, it was when he hadn't been feeling well that he sought physical affection from me for the first time. He'd wandered into my room in the middle of the night and crawled into bed with me, wanting me to hold him. Even then, I didn't hold him too close, and he told me later how much he appreciated that I'd known what to do.

What I hadn't known at the time, and only learned after he felt safe enough to reveal it to me, was that his unwillingness to be touched wasn't due only to his general aversion to physical contact. He'd been traumatized by his former partner's abuse of him, and he'd never truly gotten past it.

And it seems he still hasn't, I thought.

Being hesitant or uneasy or just plain obstinate was one thing, but this...? Yuri's fear was on a totally different level. I'd literally never seen him this emotionally vulnerable, and the worst part for me was that I didn't know how to help him.

"We'll think of something," I said quietly. "We'll make sure your safe place is still safe."

I hoped my promise didn't sound hollow and empty. I didn't want him to feel scared and unsafe in the place that had become a refuge for him, but i also realized we needed support. There had to be a way to make both those things happen.

The problem was, I couldn't think of anything. I was exhausted, and my head was starting to ache, and everything I'd already experienced during the day suddenly felt like... too much.

After what seemed like much longer than it was in reality, Yuri regained some composure. He sniffled, tears mostly subsided at last, and rubbed at his eyes. "I need to lie down."

I nodded, and fumbled with the bed remote until I got it where he wanted it. "Good?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'm sorry for being so much trouble."

"You're no trouble," I assured him. "You need to stop worrying about that, if you can."

"But—"

"If I thought you were too much trouble, would I be here?"

"I suppose not." He wiped his eyes again. "Why does everything have to be so difficult?"

"I don't know, love," I said. "We've survived all our worst days so far, though, and we'll get through this too."

"I don't want any more bad days."

"Me either, but we don't get to decide that."

"I know." He sighed shakily. "I really am sorry."

"For what?"

"You're tired. I can see it," he said. "I didn't mean to burden you with one more thing."

"It's okay," I said. "You were right. We had to talk about it, or at least bring up the subject. But, listen... we don't have to discuss it any more right now. Let me work on it. Maybe there's a solution."

"Okay," he said. Then, after a pause, "I'm glad it went well with Dr. Ishida. I... I didn't mean to kill your mood."

"Don't worry about it. I'm still happy. Just kinda... out of energy, I guess. Today's been a lot."

"Maybe you need a nap."

I didn't fail to catch the not-so-subtle hint, but climbing onto the bed without the use of my arms and also avoiding his IV line would've been next to impossible. "I can nap later, but don't let me stop you if you need one."

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

"Either I will or your parents will," I said. "Sakura's coming over this evening, so Mom's going to come pick me up around five-thirty."

"Oh."

"If you need me to stay, I'll ask Sakura to come another night."

"No," he said. "I'll be fine if my parents are here. It's just... I'll miss you."

"Every moment we're not together, I miss you," I told him.

"Me too," he said. "But, I suppose we have to be reasonable about it. You can go at five-thirty, but if I'm still asleep, wake me up before you leave, please. I want to be awake for my goodbye kiss."

"You don't want me to kiss you while you're sleeping, like in a fairytale or something?"

"My knight in shining armour," he said.

"My prince," I replied, and we both smiled. "I'll wake you up before I leave, but you gotta remember where you are. No saying anything naughty like you do when I wake you up with a kiss at home. You don't want to embarrass me in front of your parents, do you?"

"I don't say naughty things."

"Oh? You think telling me to take my clothes off and get back in bed with you isn't naughty?"

"It isn't," he said, somehow managing to sound completely affronted. "Skin-to-skin contact is very therapeutic and beneficial."

"I guess that includes hands and lips?"

"Mm-hmm," was his soft reply.

"Go to sleep," I said.

He closed his eyes obediently. "Victor?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to be okay, aren't we?"

I leaned down to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "We're together. There's nothing we can't face together, right?"

"Right."

"I don't know what’s gonna happen, but I'll be with you no matter what. For better or worse, in sickness and health, just like we promised, remember?”

“Just like we promised,” he repeated. "I'm glad you found me. You changed my life. I'm a better person because of you."

"You were an amazing person before I ever came along," I told him. "You think I'd give my whole heart to somebody who wasn't exceptional?"

He didn't answer, but his little smile was enough.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen, but in that moment I told myself it'd all be fine. I wanted to believe it. I still want to believe it, in fact, to the point where I keep repeating it like a mantra in my head. Everything will be fine.

Yuri once told me that a happy outcome doesn't have to be a perfect outcome; all that's needed is for you to be satisfied with it. Time and again, I've seen that he's not wrong. Nothing ever goes exactly the way I envision it, but I'm still happy.

And I guess if that's the standard we're measuring by, everything really will be fine.

[flowerpotmage]

Nobody asked but I wanted to ramble about how I characterize Aemond in my fics. Warnings for unorganized rambling and incomplete thoughts bc I'm tired n didnt wanna ramble too long

We all know I write some soft as hell Aemond in my drabbles and one shots. Hell, even the smut! But my headcanon, or at least for my Aemond, his private moments with loved ones are the only moments that he openly exhibits softness. (Think when he volunteers himself to go find Aegon and how he interacts with Alicent.) And I like exploring private moments, so that's what I end up writing 😅

I think he's got some baggage from his childhood (the bullying, the lack of a dragon, feeling like the loser of House Targaryen because of it all) in addition to the resentment and anger surrounding the loss of his eye, as well as the position of being the middle son. Middle children often feel overlooked, and even though Alicent clearly loves and cares for him (I would argue that he might even be her favorite) I think that at court he would feel that element of being overlooked--he's not a firstborn son, he's not the youngest baby of the family like Daeron, he's not beloved by the public like Helaena, and he doesn't even have a dragon so why would courtiers and nobility pay him any mind or positive attention?

So I think that all is likely to manifest in him desiring to impress. Aegon is a drunk and Helaena's mind is somewhere else, whilst Daeron is physically somewhere else. He probably sees his mother's stress and overwhelm and so determines to make things easier for her. He will be the Good Son in the Keep, he will not add to her stress anymore than he had during that night on Driftmark, he will become the epitomy of what a Targaryen Prince should be. I think this is also driven by his need to prove himself more than his disability/disfigurement because of course Westeros is ableist as fuck, and now even though he has a dragon people don't want to be around the One-Eye.

I see Aemond as deeply hurt, deeply resentful, and deeply desiring recognition. An accessible way for him to try and gain this is through performing what he should as is required by his station---I think he truly internalized Alicent's morals of duty, even if his personal feelings aren't always happy about it or what he wants is something else (see his anger at Aegon being the next King, but still volunteering to go find him and following through on this despite his bitterness). On top of his efforts to shape himself as someone worthy of recognition, I see him as trying to earn it through acts of service, or trying to express that he cares through acts of service. I headcanon that that particular habit for my version of Aemond began through efforts to lighten his mother's burdens and stressors as Queen.

When I write Aemond I want him to have reprieve in his private moments, to have softness and tenderness and vulnerability. But when he is out in the world he has walls up, he is serious, he is driven, and above all there is always an undercurrent of resentment. Having only really written his soft private side, I'm excited to try and explore his public side,and eventually, what some moots call his Beast Mode side hahaha

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 6: SC Preview Friday

I left work early today so I could attend more of Supreme Court Preview, but also still stop out for my usual Friday coffee drink. At 2:30 it was so packed. Well, more packed than at 4:30 anyway. I got some extremely good pistachio gelato and wrote up some notes about stuff I want to write (not much useful but that's okay) and watched the set up for AOFTA. It does look really good. I am less worried about forcing myself to actually get up and go. Also I think B is going to go with me, or meet me there, and like... I did invite him because I thought he might have fun. I like spending time with him, and the plan to meet works as an accountability measure. He also can't come till later so I can spend a while there just by myself. But a part of me is like... I don't really need/want company to look at the art. But, again, he can't come till the afternoon, it's still my plan to come at 10.... it'll be fine. Best of both worlds.

Anyway, then I got home and logged into the preview. There was some of the moot court still going on but I don't usually care about that as much, not even gonna lie. I caught only the tiniest bit because I was having zoom issues. (They were having zoom issues too... the screen kept flashing with the photograph of our AV guy, as if he had taken over the mic, even though the sound was the same... oh, it was funny but also really annoying but also funny but also awful.) I did hear the verdict and the dissent sort of annoyed me in that terminally-law-brained way (people don't like domestic abusers so maybe they need guns to protect themselves like ok??? or stop abusing your loved ones??????? ?????).

So then there was the panel that I was actually interested in. I always, like... I follow along but I was also browsing tumblr at the time, mostly because I couldn't watch the screen with that face constantly flashing on it lol, and I'm really just tuning in for fun. So I do miss a lot. A lot goes over my head because I don't follow the Supreme Court professionally and it really is, like, a basic knowledge of the specifics of the issues is assumed. So while I'm watching I always feel a bit overwhelmed and like I'm not really understanding anything as I try to keep up--but don't try that hard--but then after I pretty much only remember the parts I did understand. So I enjoyed it. Melissa Murray was so good, just not speaking around anything, naming names, calling out specifics. Even getting into it a little with Erin Murphy, like a decent amount for a very aggressively collegial event. She kept taking the position that the stories about the Supreme Court's ethics were overblown, which is certainly an interesting take and one I could almost accept if there were also a defense of the behavior in there and hmm when we name names and talk details that's awfully hard to do, isn't it?

There was also some interesting talk about the different factions, if it was really 6-3 or 3-3-3 (again with Melissa Murray just saying it straight out: it's a radical Court and as a result the standard for rightward movement is itself skewed), the relationship between Justices Thomas and Jackson, and also discussion about the Court's image and so on. The interesting thing about SC Preview is that everyone kinda by definition is establishment. There are some reporters and professors but a lot of the panelists are or were advocates in front of the Court, or are judges, and so they have, I guess, if not a blind spot a... a long-time immersion in this world, this type of thinking--it's the professional side, not the results oriented, we-all-have-to-live-in-the-world-the-Court-makes side, if that makes sense. Like yes your argument is logically sound but stop trying to convince me that deranged behavior is normal. Stop making these 'well technically....' arguments. The Preview is as non-partisan as something so intensely partisan can be but I am of course talking about Republicans specifically here because *I* am not non-partisan. That's why I appreciated Melissa Murray saying things outright like 'this is a radical Court' because it is and we do need to say it!

Tomorrow the panels start at 9am and go to 4:30 and they are broadcasting one of the breakout panels, so it's basically non-stop except for lunch. That's a lot of Supreme Court! But I think it will be fun. I'll be tired by the end but maybe able to accomplish a few things? That would sure be nice.

[idyllic-affections]

APHEEE THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT AAAAA THIS MATTERS SO MUCH TO ME!! TT

I started to write my first fic ever, it's now only over 500 words (I just wanted to make it longer but I don't know how to link the ideas through the paragraphs TT)

I wanted some advice about how to start because I always have an idea of what I want to write, but as soon as I start writing, I can't find the words because I usually only have the ideas of the principal facts that I want to write :'

Maybe someday we become moots. I hope so 👉👈

Daily reminder to drink some water 🫶🫶🫶 (but please do this after having eaten something, it's dangerous to do it with your stomach empty!!)

Sorry for not sending this before, I wasn't in good condition these days </3

-🦢 anon <3

hi again lovely <33

i will always support you!!! as for the advice... this can go for any of my followers, not just 🦢 anon! so please, take this advice if you need it, even if you aren't 🦢 anon.

just write! easier said than done, i know, but just write. it doesn't matter how "bad" your first draft is; just let your first draft be the draft in which you write all of your thoughts down. let your first draft be the worst draft. let your first draft be pure word vomit. it's okay. the first draft exists solely to make your fic a reality. your first draft is not meant to be perfect. your first draft can and should be the worst, silliest possible version of your fic, because the first draft is only for making your fanfic exist. you can clean it up later. you can use purposeful, advanced diction later. you can make your plot make sense later. just make your fic a reality first. you can fine-tune it later.

if you can't put it into words, if you somehow just cannot find it in you to write actual sentences, write down your plot points. write down the general idea of your fic. just make sure to put something down on paper (...virtual paper, in this case, but the point is just make sure something is written down). a writer's worst enemy is a blank document, i think. so make sure that even of you can't genuinely write, you write your ideas down.

if you can't figure out a good transition between your plot points, there is no shame in using a timeskip or just putting a divider (such as the little flower one i use at the beginning of my own fics to separate the information from the actual fanfic content) and moving onto a different part of your fic. it's okay. i do it all the time! anyone who says otherwise can just... go away fr. you do not need to conform to someone else's expectations. please please please do what you want to. do what makes you happy. writing is only fun if you enjoy doing it.

these are all things i have learned through personal experience, from observing professional authors, or from my literal english teachers. these tips work well for me, and i hope they work well for you too!

i would absolutely love to be moots with you someday, dear <3 in my eyes, we are already moots. i just don't know who you are, but i see my moots as friends, and i also see you as a friend! so we are basically already moots. whenever you feel comfortable, you are welcome to go non-anonymous. no pressure, of course, but i will treat you in the same friendly way as i do now if i were to ever know your identity 💗💖💕💘

of course!!! you as well, please be sure to take good care of yourself. i hope you have been feeling better lately!!

[absolutepokemontrash]

I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

[xxmothangelxx]

Shady Rambles Dislyte Part 2

So about Tang Mei, if you don't know who she is let me give you a quick rundown before I continue:

Tang Mei was who Tang Xuan currently is, she was Tang Yun's twin and patroned by Sun Wukong — she was changed into Tang Xuan after Dislyte received complaints about having a female character represent Sun Wukong. I won't speak too much on it, mostly bc I'm not Chinese, but what I will say is it's kind of a moot point imo in a game where Nezha patrons a grown man and Nut patrons a teenage high school girl but I digress.

Omg congrats on the transition Xuan

But all jokes aside, I feel she could somehow still work in Dislyte, and I have a few ideas as to how!

The first is obvious, they could canonize Xuan being trans, not only would that do good for them PR wise, but who doesn't love some good representation here and there. Though that does mean that Mei would be who Xuan once was instead of her own distinct character, and ngl I kinda want her to be a thing, but that doesn't mean Xuan can't still be trans... 👀👀👀👀👀

My second idea is have her be a 3rd sibling, she doesn't have to be a triplet or anything, but a Tang regardless. Actually, let me use this as an excuse to share my little idea:

Tang Mei, patroned by Erlang Shen (二郎神), is the older sister to both twins, maybe late 20s-early 30s. Guided by a deity that embodies justice, I don't think she would work for any of the currently established factions or organizations (esper union, shadow decree etc.) instead, I believe she would work as a very, very high-end lawyer.

Here me out; all her life Tang Mei had always been the sort who cared a lot about right and wrong. If her parents set a rule in the home she would never break it, she never got in trouble at school, always got good grades and never skipped a day. She was the type who would report people for breaking rules, and was an all around perfect child. When she became an older sibling she promised herself she would guide them to be the best people they could be. This however meant that she wasn't – and still isn't – typically 'fun'. She follows rules to a T and is completely unbaised in situations, not caring for how people feel or nuance, only caring if something was right or wrong and allowed them to improve as people.

This attitude, which only got stronger as she got older and received her new godly abilities, is what allowed her to excell both as an esper and a lawyer. I imagine she's worked quite closely with Abigail, who has absolutely had to fight quite a few legal battles in her day. The calm and collected lawyer who only ever wears a coy smile is feared by her fellow attorneys, and has only ever lost a single case in her whole tenure. Due to this, she only really defends or prosecutes high-end cases and people – she's basically a celebrity attorney.

As for her relationship with her siblings, it's... complicated. She likes Xuan, and he likes her, but her rigid and incredibly mature attitude makes it so he feels like he has to be a certain way when she's around. Xuan feels like he can't be fully himself around her or she'll chastise him for still acting like a little boy, or question his whole 'super hero' behavior. They're still close, but she intimidates him a whole lot.

Mei's relationship with Yun is gone. As kids it was obvious she preferred him over Xuan ever so slightly, they were both introverts so I imagine the two would have to reel in Xuan when they were younger. Mei's strong sense of right and wrong meant it broke her heart when Yun became a member of the Shadow Decree, who she viewed as a glorified terrorist organization, and her view of the quiet, well behaved boy became that of a good-for-nothing delinquent, one that needed to be taken off the streets. Although he was her little brother, and she loved him, Mei was very adamant of bringing him to justice and making him experience the full extent of the law. This of course causes some rift between her and Xuan: whilst Xuan believes Yun is just being led astray and can be brought back to the good side, Mei believes he's just a criminal now, and thus must be treated as such.

When it comes to Mei's relationship with other characters (aside from the aforementioned Abigail) I think Mei would be friendly with Celine and Melanie, frequenting for some drinks and talking with them. She's had a few run ins with Triki, who she cannot stand, and of course has met Xuan's friends Li Ling and Lewis. Due to her strict and not very fun-loving personality, she would get along quite well with Ashley, who she sometimes talks to and visits when she has some free time. Though, Mei doesn't really keep friends, she keeps acquaintances and allies, with her brother being her only true friend.

As an Esper, since we have a legendary Tang and a rare Tang, Mei would be an epic, specifically wind-attuned. I imagine her as a controller, and though I don't have a whole moveset planned, for some reason I feel she would be able to petrify – not sure why though lol.

Im sorry this was just my excuse to show off my Tang Mei OC SMDMDKDKKD

[alluringjae]

until dawn - ljn

part I | part II

⤑ summary: basic number one rule of the museum is not to touch the art. but no one told jeno that falling for one of them isn’t allowed either.

⤑ pairing: jeno x female reader

⤑ word count: 14k

⤑ genre: fluff, humor, angst | broke architecture major!jeno, historical figure!reader, college!au

⤑ warnings: jaemin mentions onlyfans as a joke, references to actual historical figures (some try to flirt with jeno lol) and literature, explicit language

⤑ author’s note: wow, i’ve had this idea for almost two years! this one was inspired by one of my favorite childhood movies, night at the museum. it definitely required a lot of research and brainstorming, and finally i brought it to life! it was so fun to play around with the characters, and even if majority of them are real people, this is all still fiction.

i also wanna mention one of my moots, marge for enlightening me about her life as an architecture major.

⤑ taglist: @renjunniehome​ (dm me if you want to be added) 

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Dormitory rent was another thing to worry about aside from the inflated university tuition per semester. Although he’s lucky to have his parents backing him up already on it, paying the monthly rent for his dorm was the remaining objective on Jeno’s list.

Plus, money for food. The man was a heavy eater, following the whole “gym is life” mantra.

Splitting it already with two of his dorm mates turned best friends, Renjun and Jaemin, his plate felt lighter. But the question still lies: where on earth was he going to get the money?

He’s practically checked out every available part-timing job in university and anywhere near campus. Barista at the same café Jaemin works at, teaching assistant for an art school for kids, convenience store cashier, library assistant, all taken in a heartbeat. The burden of his friends paying his debt these past months took a toll on him, almost to the point he almost considered making an Onlyfans.

“Yah, just find something else! Part-timers are in demand right now!” Renjun intensely closed his laptop before his older friend gets any suggestive thoughts.

“I mean, you didn’t work out your body to look the way it is for nothing.” Jaemin pitched otherwise, lifting the front back up. “When do you want to start filming? Loads of chicks would dig a piece of you!”

The contradicting opinions of his friends were like the devil and angel debating on his shoulders. Useless, he gave this worry a rest and returned to drawing new plates. A common thing when you’re an architecture major. Those deadlines were nearing. Looks like he’ll pull another all-nighter again.

Good thing most of his classes were late in the morning until 6 pm.

As if someone from above heard his petition, Jeno saw a help wanted sign posted on the bulletin board outside of the university museum. He initially went there to document some artwork and architecture models from Greek and Roman times, further analyzing how they’re still apparent in modern buildings.

The sign explained the need for one part-timer from any college to cover the night shift of the museum due to the current night guard’s full semester absence. He only had to come in 3x a week, choosing his days since he was still a student. Even the pay was above average, considering that most part-timers never go beyond midnight. Jeno would, on the other hand, always staying for his projects or gaming with the boys. Drinking sometimes during late-night Fridays with his entire college crew.

The pay would leave him a load of extra cash for himself, thus he sent an application to the museum office right before he left. A week later, while he was out with the boys, he got a text from the office that they wanted to meet him again for a final interview first thing on Monday.

Perhaps it was having architecture as his course and a healthy physique that landed him the part-timer position. Mainly, the latter because guards required strong endurance and fighting skills when worse comes to worst. It would start at 9 pm until 6 am the following day, and there was a designated uniform of it too. Blue blazer with matching trousers, white dress top, and loafers.

Aside from the typical museum etiquette the head director instructed him about, there was an unofficial list of tips written on paper given from the night guard on leave when the director handed you over his box of office-related things.

Only read at the night guard office once you’re the remaining staff left.

He did as he was told like an obedient son, flipping the succeeding page.

 To my temporary replacement,

This part-timing job is nothing regular than the other jobs. You’ll witness things as you’ve never imagined them to be, almost like witchcraft. You’ll be lost and maybe frightened, or that’s how I felt the first time because no one led me through it all those years ago. Lucky for you, I made this small guide on how to properly take care of the place that the other staff doesn’t know about.

Before you proceed, I request you take a 5-minute stroll around the lobby first to understand what I’m talking about. After such, go back to the office or somewhere quiet then browse through the guide as quickly as you could.

Art is timeless here, so they need to be taken care of.

Good luck!

 Park Sanghoon

Night Guard on Leave

 Nothing could’ve prepared Jeno for what’s to come once he unlocked the office door. They say that art brings so much color to our life, allowing us to feel all sorts of emotions in a glimpse. But no one ever interpreted art to be literally alive and walking in the halls.

Behold, random wax figures and marble sculptures that he’s seen in the past roamed the hallways, as well as the paintings were interacting with each other side by side. Even the standee of a puppy from the entrance played fetch with one of those sculptures. He swore he looked like Hermes the messenger god from his arrow headpiece and sandals.

It made more sense why the guard on leave explained his feelings during the first day because it resembled Jeno’s. But unlike that guard, Jeno sucked it up. No one ever does well on the first day, even if others say otherwise. The first day was a learning experience, so he collected his thoughts even though the goosebumps triggered his body during that one rotation.

There was an indoor garden, already locked by the day guard earlier. The only room without any art piece, where students lounge to study the plants or relax in nature.

The sculptures section ahead, showcasing various fictional figures specifically from Greek mythology, chattered away about family drama and beliefs. The sculptures of Hades and Zeus, according to their title plate, argued relentlessly about power while Athena always intervened by shouting or even throwing arrows or daggers to any of the lightbulbs there.

That was one rule in the guide, but Jeno didn’t know yet until he came inside the room and swerved the attention of the arguing duo.

“Well, what do we have here?” Zeus, in the center, straightened his posture on his throne to present himself in a more regal way. “Are you perhaps the temporary replacement of Sir Sanghoon?”

“Sir Sanghoon’s stand-in is rather good looking, don’t you think?” Hera mused, stepping down from her throne beside Zeus to take a closer look at the taller male. Her cold fingers trailed his jaw until his chest, where his heart was beating intensely. She even pinched his toned bicep, mouthing wow.

“Truly handsome you are, my dear. So full of life, please introduce yourself to us.”

While Jeno introduced himself to everyone in that room, he answered any sorts of questions they had for him too. From his age, educational background, hobbies, Aphrodite just had to ask him if he had a girlfriend because he was that handsome.

“Nope, I’m single. With my degree in architecture, the requirements are so heavy I can’t even try dating.”

Mentioning his degree excited the gods, telling him how their people created and designed all these temples to house them and perform rituals. They loved it so much. This was a copy-paste of what Jeno learned from his history classes, and for a first, he’s hearing the perspective of the Greek gods.

Mind-boggling that he hasn’t fully freaked out yet. That’s what Athena anticipated when Sanghoon told her about his short leave, putting her in charge of everyone for the meantime while the replacement settled down.

The college museum was built during the late 70s as a gift from one of the alumni. It was for the purpose to preserve history and educate college students outside the classroom. The Greek mythology exhibit was the oldest one, making Athena have more seniority. Over her stay, she’s seen every new guard lose their senses during the first night. Some not even returning for a second night. She got used to every outcome, and so far, only 8 people lasted after the first night. A couple of students in the 70s and 80s, Sanghoon in the 90s, and now Jeno was one of them.

“Jeno, aren’t you terrified by us? You just got a job in a museum that comes to life every night, and it’s not a normal thing.”

“Well, I’m still shaken up about it. But it’s my first night, and it’s when I learn everything about the place from head to toe. Plus, I really need the money.”

“Money for what? But you’re young, a student even!”

“Yes, I am. However, I do pay for the rent in my dorm. So, this job is like my first big responsibility, and I want to perform well.”

Athena commended his sense of authority, capable of leading himself. She noticed how well-spoken and poised he is, respecting and listening to everything the gods and goddesses said even if they were nonsense. She never liked to compromise with her power, taking a while to like Sanghoon back in the day. Though Jeno looked like a natural leader on his first night. If he could take care of himself well, he’s skilled to take care of the rest in the museum as well.

Plus she had full control on the nights he won’t be there, especially the weekend.

With his potential, Athena mentored him the entire night about the gist of the entire museum. Every upcoming leader needs an intelligent mentor, right? She was naturally gifted with worthy leadership skills, managing Jeno like her own child.

Athena explained how the museum came to life, which was through a royal golden plate from the Oriental room. It was a gift from a popular sorceress in China to an affluent family from the Han dynasty, who wished them a long life after she was saved from invaders due to them. The plate preserved over time, becoming an artifact. Its power remained immortal, mutating to bring life wherever it goes. In this case, the museum since its arrival in the late 70s as well.

“That’s why the Oriental room must be locked always so no one could touch or break the plate.”

After she ordered Jeno to lock the mentioned room, alongside the Foreign Art Exhibit Room which he checked out for his class, she led him to the best view of the entire museum. Center of the second floor, where stairs were on both sides. Jeno marveled at the vivacious atmosphere, witnessing actual art living, breathing, and enjoying themselves.

“Unreal, right?” She leaned in the railing, scanning through the chatty paintings.

Jeno also leaned down, deep in thought and wonder. “Absolutely, Athena. How come no one knows about this? Art coming to life? It’ll invite more students to the museum.”

“That goes against a golden rule as a night guard in this museum.” She replied bluntly. “The life that goes on inside this museum at night must remain a secret to the public.”

Jeno predicted this kind of response, having watched too many films where anything supernatural mustn’t be revealed. Although he liked the advantage of knowing something this powerful, he’d never abuse it.

Athena’s intellect was beyond the world, seamlessly reading Jeno’s expression and what he was thinking. He had good intentions even if he’s a bit mischievous. She needed to keep a keen eye on him, but for now, he needed to explore on his own.

“Anyways, Sanghoon still left out some other details. So if you have any questions, I’ll be at my exhibit trying to shut my father and my uncle up again.”

“Can you not use any weapons to do so?”

“Can’t make any promises, Jeno.” She slyly cracked her knuckles and neck as if she was fighting another battle.

Jeno was silently left with himself, finally browsing through Sanghoon’s guide while seated in one of the museum benches.

It consisted of 25 rules, wherein the first two rules consisted of locking up. One, for the doors and gates of the museum, so no art piece could escape. If they do, they will turn into dust when the sun is out according to Athena. Two, locking the Oriental and Foreign Art Rooms, which was already done.

Rule #5: Let Mochi the puppy from the lobby tag along with you; feed him treats if you have any.

On cue, the little guy barked from the corridor and raced to his side. Jeno carried him, babying him for a little and letting him lick his face a few times before putting him back down. He’s surely going to the pet store first thing in the morning with the museum allowance the director gave him.

Since he was on the second floor, he read and followed the rules that fit in before returning downstairs. On the other side of the floor were the wax figures exhibitions: one for prominent men in history while the other for prominent women. Well, more people to get acquainted with.

It’s the exchange of gasps and profanities he received when he chose the latter room. Seeing their faces, these were women he’s learned in school and online. Now in the (fake) flesh. Except for one girl he’s never heard of, unbothered in her corner sketching her life away in a sketchpad. But before he could check who she was, a suggestive touch on his arm distracted him.

“My, oh my, Hera wasn’t lying when she said that the new night guard was a fine specimen.” By her dark blue eyeshadow and eyeliner with the snake-like crown, Cleopatra studied him like he was one of the most renowned art pieces. Even patting his chest, abdomen, and arms with both her hand, Jeno caught a suggestive glint in her eyes and a smirk across her red lips.

Rule #13: Reject Cleopatra’s seductive advances at all costs.

“Goodness, Cleopatra. It’s only his first night, and you’re scaring him.” With her accent, round eyes, and a chic formal outfit, she carried a posh aura while unhesitatingly scolding the Queen of the Nile.

“Come on now, Diana. He’s stunning, who wouldn’t go after him?” If no one knew her, you’re not reading up on your world history. She’s said to have been a lovely and intelligent woman, gone so soon. Jeno definitely understood why after she detached Cleopatra’s raging hands off him.

Rule #14: Treat Princess Diana and Hera like your own parent.

“Your highness.” Jeno nodded at her out of respect, only making her chuckle uncontrollably.

“No need to address me like that, love. Now, come here.” She widened her arms for Jeno, hugging him amiably. He sensed her motherly warmth, accepting such a gesture. “You remind me so much of my youngest son, Harry. Welcome to the night shift of the museum, love.”

Similar to the Greek mythology exhibit, he introduced himself and responded to any questions that the women wax figures may have. Good for him, they weren’t crossing any borders and kept him at ease.

“A student like you working at night to pay rent?” Katherine Johnson, an African-American NASA mathematician whose calculations led to the success of a lot of famous spaceflights, cannot believe her ears. Students must only focus on school, nothing else. “What about your studies, boy?”

Rule #15: Engage in academic discussions with Katherine Johnson whenever you can.

“Most of my classes are in the afternoon, Miss Katherine. So I’ll sleep in the entire morning later and study during my breaks.”

“Mr. Jeno, what do you like to do outside of work?” Anne Frank, a German-Dutch teenager whose revolutionary diary that documented her life in hiding from the Nazis gained popularity worldwide after publication dreamily asked from her section of the exhibit. Her life was robbed of greatness merely because of her religion and war.

Rule #16: Bring delicious food or gifts to Anne Frank.

“Well, I like to bike with my friends, exercise, and draw whatever comes into mind!”

Everyone he’s met so far acquired pleasure in knowing about who he was and his passion for architecture, ridding the “freaking out” phase Athena assumed he had. Yet not everyone in this exhibit bothered to give him a shot.

Jeno’s attention from Anne talking about her crush towards Peter van Daan, a teenage boy who lived with her, switched to the section beside her, where an unacquainted figure was zealously sketching as if something was due to the following day. It reflected how he’d look when he’s cramming one of his plates due to first thing in the morning. While he properly excused himself, he quietly gazed at the way this woman scrunched her eyebrows when she erased something then drew it again. She was someone he’s never seen or heard before, reading the information plate in front of him about her.

 (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Explorer and Author. (1854-1900)

 Wealthy women in the Victorian Era only served one purpose in society: marry a man from a prestigious family, have his children and join whatever interests they have. However, for (Y/N), she wasn’t going to conform to those standards.

Born into the affluent house of (Y/L/N), she was the youngest of 8 children. She was said to be the kindest and sweetest sibling out of everyone, not capable of hurting anyone or anything. She said it herself that she can’t throw away a dying flower because it’s too painful. While 5 of her older brothers were sent to school, she stayed at home with her 2 older sisters Cecilia and Amelia where she learned how to play the piano and take voice lessons from impressive teachers. Due to the huge age gaps between them (12 and 8 respectively), she never felt close with them. She was only closest to the 6th and 7th siblings, her twin brothers Benjamin and Liam whom she only had a 2-year gap. She was also best friends with one of the scullery maids her age, Lily, because she found her amusing that than the boring rich girls her mother forced to interact with.

The moment it bothered her that she wanted to live a more meaningful life was when Amelia got married. She was 12 years old at the time, and it left her as the last unwed daughter in the family. Badly did she want to revolt, which she gradually did. Instead of practicing piano, she’d sneak in to read every book in her father’s office. She secretly studied the notes of her older brothers from school and even dressed as a boy numerously thanks to Benjamin and Liam to join their classes or field trips.

This was her routine up until the age of 18 when she stomped her foot down and expressed to her parents that she wasn’t going to let Victorian society dictate her. The night before her parents were bound to send her to her great aunt’s home down South to sort her out, she successfully snuck out her house thanks to Lily, Benjamin, and Liam. It’s another good thing that she saved a lot of money for that moment.

Off she went across Europe first, then sailed to America and even parts of Asia. Initially under the name Lilibe, coined from picking the first two letters of her brothers and best friend, she documented her days and nights through her journals and sketches. Over time, she sent them to her brothers for publication. It started the franchise, “The Adventures of the Young and Free Lilibe”. There are 10 books under it.

She learned French, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, and Korean by herself as she made friends from those places. It was rare of someone like her to be fluent in Oriental languages, surprising locals every time she spoke to them. She was the only explorer to vividly describe life in different Asian lands in English, talking about their history and culture. With her accurate drawings of diverse citizens and their daily lives, it educated a lot of those living back home in Europe about them rather than speaking lowly of them.

In Seoul did she stayed the longest until her death from pneumonia at the young age of 46.

In her posthumous work, Finding Me, did she reveal her real identity, dedicating it to her parents whom she apologized and expressed her love for them despite everything that occurred between them. She talked about the last years of her life in Seoul, how locals were so nice and inviting to her, and how she adopted kids instead of having her own through the years.

“It’s not because I never found love in men. It’s more like I found love in doing things I’m passionate about. Traveling, learning new cultures, it outweighed the human need of romance.”

Due to her thrill in taking risks and embarking on wondrous adventures, it brought inspiration to a lot of young girls pressured to marry at that time to pursue what they really want.

 A remarkable background you had, Jeno contemplated. How come no one discussed her in his classes?

You kept brushing the bangs of your hair back as it fell repeatedly. But you got irritated instantly because it sabotaged your drive, you brought out a hairpin from her desk and attached it on both sides. But when you shifted your angle of focus, the corner of your eye locked with Jeno’s attentive gaze.

He didn’t flinch, even he should’ve. He wasn’t one to linger his look on anyone’s physical appearances, but your story and the passion on your face as you sketched mesmerized him. He was charmed, to say the least.

“Uhm, hello there?” You broke the silence due to your uneasiness about it. What’s his deal?

Jeno bowed, reintroducing himself to you. As soon as his presence settled in the room when Cleopatra attempted to hit on him, you could’ve cared less. Though this man was a first for you, a first in a long time as all guards would feel intimidated by you during the first night. Even your sharp tongue didn’t faze him. “Staring is rude, sir. Didn’t your mother teach you manners?”

“She did,” He wandered through the exterior of your section, by the fence that separated you and him. Not breaking eye contact, his eyes turned into moon crescents as he smirked with trouble. “Though she also told me to appreciate the art too.”

Snorts noisily exhaled from Cleopatra, who took the center section of the exhibit, succeeded by Princess Diana’s whispered gasps and Katherine’s side-eyeing Anne beside her while she taught her math. That was an odd way a guard conversed with you, but Jeno was merely doing what the rules stated. Partly, he was impressed with his cheesy pick-up line, partly embarrassed because he’s never spoken like this to anyone.

Rule #17: Act playfully around (Y/N) (Y/L/N) to break the tension; she’s a harsh one.

There was irony between the information he read about your life versus the wax model. Even when you faced sexism and ran away according to your history, never were you impolite to anyone in your life. You couldn’t even kill a lurking fly when it roams around your food! It showed Jeno a possibility that as much as you’re just a wax version of someone famous in the past, maybe the external environment around you had a heavy influence too.

“You fool!” His confidence exasperated you, urging you to persistently throw balls of paper with your failed sketches at him. No one dared to talk to you like that, most especially a night guard. “Take that for your comment!”

If you thought he’d scram away and act repentant, you were proven wrong. His reflexes were parallel to a spider, capturing every single paper ball without fail. Up and down his body went, one arm held on to them and no more were left on your part. Never a single defeat during the first meeting in years, but that seemed to alter now.

“Give up already, Ms. (Y/L/N)?” Jeno remarked vibrantly as he discarded your mess in the trash bin behind him. If he managed to get everyone to like him tonight, he wanted to make sure to have you onboard too.

Whatever agenda he had, you weren’t up for it. You’d treat him the same way you usually treated Sanghoon for the past 20 something years: cold and ignorant. From your stool, you left your comfortable position to come face to face with this man. He better be grateful for that barrier in between you, or else you would’ve caused mayhem.

“Never in your wildest dreams, Mr. Lee.” Your mouth gave a half-smile, clenching on the bars to liberate your annoyance. Before you could fend back, that’s when Princess Diana intervened between your heated dialogue.

“Oh heavens, children!” She stood by the barrier, mostly to protect the newbie Jeno with her body. “(Y/N), he just wanted to know you. Must you be so cross?”

This Princess Diana embodied all the traits the real one had: soft-spoken, intelligent, and protective. She’s gotten so used to your gradual temper, staying on standby whenever anyone tried to mess with you. Even if it was harmless, you could get so mean!

“Diana, he was mocking me! Saying such a sleazy phrase as if to amuse me, ha! Not a chance, I hate people like that.”

“Not us women though; you just despise men in general.”

“And you’re absolutely right!” With a smug smile, you greedily rejoiced. “Anyways, escort this disgrace out. I’m not in the mood to get angry when I have a lot of inspiration on mind right now.”

While you resumed your sketching to let go of that extra steam, Jeno was left with Diana who apologized on your behalf. Your pride was too high to do that, and as the motherly figure among them, she always took care of things in your exhibit.

“I’m so sorry for that, Jeno. She’s not really like this, but I know how much you tried your best. It was quite a fresh spectacle honestly.”

Whatever was responsible for your abrasiveness, Jeno yearned to know. He couldn’t understand who you were yet even knowing your life story. All he wanted was to get along with everyone. It was the key to successfully maintain his job for the next 6 months.

“How can I make her come around then?”

A demanding question that no one had a solid answer to. Diana recalled how much Sanghoon didn’t let your dislike for him get to him, maintaining a respectful boundary in between each other after his past attempts. Though with Jeno, observing how he riled you up and your focus entirely on him, she hasn’t seen anything like it since the 80s.

There was something in Jeno that may just get you to warm up and return to your kind nature.

“Aside from acting playful, as Sanghoon recommended, I can think of two ways, love.” By the doors of her exhibit, where Jeno was already waltzing the corridor to visit other rooms, she suggested smartly. “One, argue back to her opinions. She hates whenever anyone tries to get her way, but boy, you’re just as wise as her. No one was brave enough to peeve on her until you came.”

“How about the second way?”

“Do your research, love. Aside from libraries, you have those small technology devices that allow you to search up anything.” She tousled Jeno’s brown locks as if it were her actual son’s. Some habits just don’t die when you do.

“Brush up on your history, Jeno. Not only will it help you with (Y/N), but it’ll serve purposefully with the other art pieces here.”

Boy, he was ready to crash in his bed for a few hours after all those interactions. His introverted nature required to be revitalized.

Towards the last hours of his shift, the art pieces who’ve strolled in the first floor lessened his plate by not leaving any major clutter behind. As if she listened to him, Athena didn’t break any lightbulbs too.

His main highlight would be meeting the men of the historical male section, who flaunted a more humorous ambiance. Freddie Mercury from Queen insisted he drink a glass of his wine and to bring more wine next time, which he denied since it would against Sanghoon’s rules. King Sejong the Great and Martin Luther King Jr. argued back and forth over the most random things (pineapple on pizza specifically), while Steve Jobs mediated whenever one crossed the line. Meanwhile, William Shakespeare was too preoccupied in his writing and speaking to himself about his books, wondering how to improve them.

During one of his breaks today, he multitasked drawing a new plate with his research on every art piece to know them better. He started with the exhibit of sculptures of the Greek gods and goddesses, which were Zeus, Hera, Hades, Athena, Hermes, Aphrodite, Poseidon, Artemis, Dionysus, and Circe. They weren’t the complete roster because the rest were in other museums across the globe, as said by Athena before sunrise. The majority of them he knew what they were in charge of, but the rest were foggy to his knowledge. Typing away and jotting notes down, he started downloading his favorite jazz songs too.

Rule # 4: Play jazz music to the paintings on the first floor so they can relax and dance within their frames.

Circe is a minor goddess, the daughter of the sun god Helios. She’s recognized for her versatility in incantations and herbs, capable of transforming people into animals. From Jeno’s perspective, she’s mostly within her space with her journals and magic wand, trying new spells or combinations of herbs. For the latter, he had to keep a closer eye on.

Rule #9: Don’t let Circe, god of potions, into the Oriental Room to get plants and herbs.

He discovered that Dionysus is the god of wine, happiness, and theatre. That’s why every god in the exhibit had full wine glasses during their gathering. It also added up why Freddie Mercury always comes to him when his bottles run empty, though he mustn’t go overboard.

Rule #18: Make sure Freddie Mercury doesn’t get too drunk from the wine of Dionysus; he might make numerous scenes if he does.

After his lone studying session, he took a short trip to the pet and convenience stores to buy food. He got a dumbfounded look from Jaemin back in the dorm room, who was studying for one of his quizzes in Biology in a couple of hours.

“Woah what’s with this stash? Is it for yourself or something?”

“The museum surprisingly has a lot of tasks needed to be done at night. And no, not from my wallet but the allowance they gave me before you get a heart attack.” Jeno plopped on his solo bed, covering his face with a pillow.

“Thank God.” A relaxed sigh escaped Jaemin’s lips, taking back his balled-up fists meant for his roommate. “I think I would’ve stormed that boring museum if they made your broke ass spend a cent.”

“Boring?” Jeno removed the cushion hastily, eyeing his busy and coffee-high roommate. The scent of black coffee from his mug spread in the room, assuming that this upcoming test was testing his roommate’s patience again.

Not even trying to look at Jeno while reviewing his handwritten notes, Jaemin continued giving his opinion. “Museum culture is dead, Jeno. Not everyone has the time to roam around one, plus people can always look up the artifacts online these days.”

People were entitled to their own opinions on numerous things, though Jeno begged to differ with his roommate’s. Especially after witnessing the magic of the night shift, you shouldn’t merely judge a book by its cover. In this case, you shouldn’t judge an artwork or art piece merely on its history and legacy.

Maybe because his roommate was in the science department, he thought this way. A lot of art students regularly visit the museum both for fun and for their classes, and Jeno was one of them. Though he was too sleepy to explain his side, he let it slide for now and snoozed throughout the late afternoon.

An hour before the start of his shift, Jeno promenaded the emptying museum to inspect anything else he might’ve missed out on from last night. There were two areas according to his rotation, both in the first floor.

One was the Diorama Room. Divided into 4 sections, highlighting some of the well-known ancient civilizations in world history. Ancient Egypt and Ancient China to your left, Ancient Rome and Ancient Maya to your right. They acted as if they were the actual people during those times, giving Jeno a laugh when they cracked jokes in between. Such tiny figures, yet the rule for them said otherwise.

Rule # 7: The small figurines in the Diorama Room are feisty, so make sure they don’t fight with one another again.

The remaining room left was the Theater Room. He’s never been here, though his art friends have for film festivals held by the university.

The interior of it was set to look like an actual cinema place you’d see in a mall. There was a mini lobby with a few posters of iconic films over the years. Singin’ in the Rain, Back to the Future, Titanic, those were some framed and hung on the wall. There were two other doors there: one leading to the chairs and the other where the movie projector was. The latter room was pretty riveting, wherein you can choose to watch old short films through an 88mm film projector or switch to a cd player for the newer releases.

Back to those posters, they weren’t an exception to the magic and a simple rule was left for Jeno to do.

Rule # 10: Chatter with the movie posters in the lobby of the Theater Room; they love meeting new faces.

Since there wasn’t anyone checking out the Art Rooms on the second floor, he closed them. Though as he was about to lock the Oriental Room, the ravishing plants around the royal plant appealed his interest. Said to hold magical properties from his research, Jeno was reminded of another rule to keep in mind for later.

Rule # 3: The fake flowers in the Oriental Room come to life too at night, so when no one is lurking, water it diligently.

Instead of lounging at Sanghoon’s office first, he brought his important items to the front desk of the lobby and continued sketching his plate. He wanted to watch the art come back alive with his two eyes. Usually, he’d have coffee when he does his work, but due to another crucial rule in the guide, he’d rather not take the risk.

Rule # 6: The lobby room can get rowdy, so keep any drinks away from important items.

On the dot, the cries and yawns from the art pieces around him reverberated. Closing his sketchpad, his night guard mode was on. Connecting his laptop on the aux cord of the museum speakers, he tapped play on his playlist of jazz music that’ll last for the entire shift duration. As the first notes flooded the entire vicinity, sounds of joy left the lips of each painting. Some were humming, dancing, and even singing along.

“You can never go wrong with Frank Sinatra!”

“This Jeno lad really did the heavens’ work quick!”

Having the sense of accomplishment on his sleeve, the small barks of his fluffy pal reached closer to him. As he kneeled to find him, he was only taken by surprise as Mochi excitedly jumped on him. Tumbling over, Jeno chuckled innocently as Mochi licked his face numerously. This puppy was friendly, easily liking everyone at first sight. He wasn’t as choosy like Daegal, the puppy of his friend Chenle studying Business Management.

Once he composed himself and cradling the dog like his own, he fed him a dog treat from the desk.

“Good boy, Mochi!” He rubbed his fur while the puppy happily munched on it, ready to fulfill more of his duties.

He skipped the Greek mythology exhibit since Athena was doing a good job not letting anyone go overboard with their powers, though he’ll check in again in a few hours. He met the posters of the theater room, who were celebrities he grew up watching on tv. Sanghoon was right; they were the kinder group in the entire museum because they were more laidback.

On to the second floor, all the female wax figures lounged by the male section due to another lecture from Shakespeare. Although the guide informed him that most of the time it could get boring, this lecture was more stimulating. On his platform, he elaborated with conviction the lines of one of his famous books, Romeo and Juliet. A must-read book back in his high school days, there’s no way Jeno could’ve missed that out.

From the looks of it, Jeno perceived that Shakespeare was performing spoken word poetry due to him reading only Romeo’s lines while Cleopatra read Juliet’s beside him. This kind of show was one of the sources of entertainment to these figures, so Jeno leaned by the side of the door to listen. After all, the famous author of it was a few feet away. Cleopatra channeled such a naïve character to her ability, absentmindedly saying as she clutched her chest.

“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.”

“Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”

“'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose-”

The flow of an engaged Cleopatra was abrupted by the loud yell from Shakespeare in front, specifically to an amused Jeno. “Jeno, my boy! Welcome back!”

Such an announcement diverted everyone’s attention to the back, some running to Jeno to give their respective greetings. It’s rare for everyone to feel at ease with a new guard, taking them weeks to approach them due to the intimidation. Though Jeno’s bright presence felt welcoming, so they accepted it. Perhaps it’s because of his youth, it reminded them of theirs too.

Shakespeare highly requested (or forced) Jeno to take his part as Romeo, intrigued to watch someone younger read his lines. Since most of the male wax figures were aged, it never satisfied Shakespeare so he jumped on this opportunity as quickly as he could. With the roaring cheers from the other figures, Jeno might as well give it a try. It wasn’t like his friends were here to clown him like they usually would if he did something humiliating.

Jeno shockingly liked this activity as he wasn’t much of a performer on stage, but someone who does the behind-the-scenes of it. He realized as he read the lines from the book Shakespeare asked him to follow along with why people held university-wide spoken word shows a few times per semester. He was no actor, but it’s delightful to have tried it at least once in his life.

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” As if the edge of the platform was the balcony of Juliet (or Cleopatra rather), he knelt as he ardently spoke his lines. He’s emphasizing this rush of uncontrollable desire for her, rambling whatever he would do to get the girl.

“What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?” Cleopatra questioned from her chair, inching closer to the young boy. Even outside character will she attempt to charm Jeno, but Jeno was quick to catch it and kept his distance.

“The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.”

“I gave thee mine before thou didst request it, and yet I would it were to give again.”

“Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?”

“But to be frank, and give it thee again. And yet I wish but for the thing I have. My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

Everyone was condensed by their top-notch acting, as if this was the actual play unfolding before them. Jeno wasn’t so sure how he got himself in character without preparation, yet he felt what his character felt. He comprehended the material a lot better now than when he was still in high school.

However, there was always that one killjoy to ruin the heartfelt mood.

“How dumb is it to say that you’re in love after the first glance?” You opposed, putting the spotlight on you. This book was said to be a classic in literature, but as you matured physically and mentally, you could no longer agree with it. “Isn’t love the same thing that killed Romeo and Juliet in the end?”

Remembering what Princess Diana told him, he wasn’t going to let this pass. He wanted to give a piece of his mind too, caring less if the show must be paused. “Love is an emotion we don’t ask to feel. It’ll come to us when we least expect it, even when the timing of it can be crucial.”

“Of all the people Juliet could’ve gone for, it just had to be the enemy.” In all the years you’ve been brought to life, no one dared to test your opinions because they were aware of your intelligence, from the streets to the books. When someone bark, you’d bite back. Hard. “With all due respect, I love your works, Shakespeare. Yet the fate you’ve given these two at a young age was grave, could’ve you given them a better outcome or another character to love instead?”

“Giving them extra characters to love won’t address the horrific life fact that love can be dangerous. Regardless of what status you’re in, you can’t stop the attraction towards someone. The heart wants what it wants.” Jeno pressed his hand to his chest, pumping it a bit. Unknown to you and him, the audience found more entertainment in your argument. Anne, who was munching on the popcorn Jeno gave her earlier, passed the snack to Katherine who just couldn’t stop watching.

If this man wanted a challenge, you’re all ears. Who was he to compete with you? Was he not intelligent to know who you are?

“So are you insinuating that we just go with the flow? Be a slave to our emotions too and let them dictate our next motives?”

“Slave is such a strong word to use, (Y/N). But it’s not like we can’t choose who want to love because we actually can. In this case, Romeo chose Juliet and vice versa.”

“But what happens if the person you choose doesn’t choose you in return?”

“At least you tried your best, right? It’ll hurt like hell though, but it won’t last forever.” From his kneeling position, Jeno strutted his way with confidence. Trying not to let it mess with you, your extreme stare at him as if they’ll shoot lasers. Inches away from you, Jeno declared. “Love always has risks, that’s a given. Romeo and Juliet still tried and followed their hearts despite the downfall. But it was a needed downfall to get the message across.”

“No one would be that foolish to risk their lives for love though, right? Life is so precious, why would they do such a thing?”

“Even if they knew what their lives were without each other, they still preferred living a life where they were both in the picture. Therefore, they tried all they could that time because the regret of not doing anything at all carries a heavier burden.”

Whenever anyone argued with you, their debating points they spat back would further piss you off because most of the time, it never made sense. Back when this rude man told you to go home and be a wife in your earlier years of exploring, you civilly told him to fuck off, kicking his balls because he cornered you in an alley. For the first time, a man who tried to challenge you actually made sense. Was it because he lived in a modern time, where minds were more open? Because of the amount of sexism you faced in the past, you’ve turned a blind eye to the current period.

But your high pride maintained, not submitting into anything he said. “I still think it’s stupid to risk your life for love. There’s no such thing as having only one true love anyways, and you have to be alive to see it.”

“Fair point, but again, the feeling of regret and carrying it your entire life doesn’t fade easily. It’ll make you reflect on the what-ifs, and it’s heart-wrenching.” Jeno digressed, walking around you in circles. He’s intentionally trying to drive you mad, but he could care less. He wanted someone to put you in your place and open your mindset. “The question stands: would you rather try and go for it even knowing its risks or regret not even trying for the rest of your existence? Quite ironic for me to ask you that, don’t you think?”

Past the information board, Jeno researched more of your life history online. Your whole life was grounded on risks, from breaking the standards of your society, leaving your family and home country, to fending yourself from disrespectful men. Rather than living the original life expected from you, you chose not to because it didn’t make you happy. Such a risktaker he knew you are, but with the topic of love, he wondered why you were on a fence with it. Though some records stated you’ve had rendezvouses with a few men in your journeys, love was never in the equation. The single life was what you chose and you were more than satisfied, plus your adopted kids filled that supposed void anyways.

This man may have studied your history, but so much he still doesn’t know. Information that never made the books because you chose not to write or tell anyone about it. Aside from the discomfort growing in your chest, everyone else felt the awkward tension when you were lost for words.

Never been defeated in an argument, until tonight. Your mind lost its drive and willpower.

“Touché, Lee Jeno.” Indeed, his name you’re acquainted with. Numerously passed around in your exhibit, mostly from the lips of Cleopatra, who’d fantasize all the graphic things she would do to him. Too much information, least of your interest. “Please excuse me. I’d like to work on my sketches to ease my mind.”

As you quietly exited the room, an all too familiar sculpture leaned against the railings overseeing one side of the museum. Just like you, she hated accepting defeat or compromises. She always rooted for you to win. With a faint chuckle, “Facing a loss for the first time, I see.”

“Don’t even lecture me about it, Athena. I’m still fired up, and I need to relax.”

“Jeno is a different breed, isn’t he?” She stuck to your side, strolling wherever your feet led you.

“Different as in he’s a man? Yes. What else is there to it?”

“Men these days aren’t as trashy as those back in the day though. Shouldn’t you give him a chance?”

“Last time I did, it destroyed my heart. I’m not allowing myself to let men in even as a friend, Athena.”

She knew exactly what you were referring to, not touching on it further. No way will you let heartbreak or disappointment from men bother you. Even Sanghoon’s sweet company took a while to tolerate. You really needed to sketch this out on your pad right now, excusing yourself from Athena’s presence. Isolation wasn’t new to you; it’s what’s protecting your entire being. Immortal as you are, you had to recover from the past pain so the next decades won’t feel as brash.

You hoped to return to your old self when you were a fresh new figure in the 70s. So naïve, only proud of your accomplishments, and purely happy.

While Jeno continued to finish his scene in respect to Shakespeare, he received a standing ovation for his mini-show. Cleopatra didn’t expect such talent from him, growing fonder of the younger male. Whether she seduces him or not, he was never afraid to try new things and she liked that about him.

“Bravo, love!” Princess Diana praised, clapping at him.

Although Jeno appreciated all this positive attention, his thoughts bounced back to your and your stance on love. The debate earlier was just out of being playful, interested to hear your opinions. Though, he’s worried that he might’ve offended you. It may have been time to finally witness something like that, but then again, he was sure he touched something personal to you. No matter how you tried to fight it off, your eyes can’t lie. Staring down at him, there was pain beneath it. Your eyebrows scrunched to the center, thinking deeply yet remained utterly speechless.

A win he didn’t feel good about.

“It’s time she encountered something new in the years she’s been here. Give her some space tonight, then try again to reach out to her. Kindly this time; I’m not in the mood for another brawl that could end up like the Greek gods’ past fights downstairs.”

These clever words shared by Katherine loitered his mind for the rest of the night, eventually going back to finishing his current plate since everyone was behaving well. As great it is to get the approval of the majority, he tried brainstorming ways to make you like him too.

He understood the whole “men are trash” concept in today’s modern society, but if he could prove it wrong to at least one person, it would be you. Whatever is holding you back, he only hoped that you’d let it go. Questionably unsure as to why he was so persevering, he concluded that it was so he could perform his job better as the night guard. Set higher standards than Sanghoon even.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Weeks passed, and his attempts continued to be unsuccessful.

The capability for you to ignore his efforts remained strong, whether he was pestering you over small things or debating with you again about anything. Life, books, morals, the two of you always head butt each other. Anything good he did, you searched for a flaw in it. Whatever acts he’s tried and continued trying, not one flinch from you ever.

Even if that’s his state with you, his job no longer felt stressful nor strenuous. He’d try to sleep more on days he was off-duty. Although the fatigue of staying beyond his usual sleeping time was inevitable, he compromised to take a nap lasting an hour or two when the art pieces weren’t acting frisky.

Plus, there have been multiple times they adapted to any alterations so his physical well-being wouldn’t fall sick. Per order of Princess Diana and Hera, who by instinct became his motherly figures here, only wanting what’s best for the kids.

He became accustomed to everything that went on at night, discovering things on his own without Sanghoon’s guide. Anne talked about how much she missed biking in her neighborhood, so one night, Jeno snuck his bike inside and let her use it around the first floor. With proper monitoring so none of the paintings would be unbothered or pieces wouldn’t tumble.

Hermes the messenger god was fluent in every language possible, so every so often, Jeno would freely speak to him in Korean because sometimes he felt he could explode by the amount of English he used every night. Bilingual things, you know. He knew you were multilingual too, but for obvious reasons, he couldn’t converse with you.

Because Jeno was heavily favored, that should’ve been enough to push through his night shifts before the end of the semester. In addition to that, the hourly rate was above the average of whatever Jaemin or Renjun was earning. For the past 2 months, Jeno paid upfront first, even paying back all his debts. It almost made Renjun want to switch jobs with him.

“Trust me, Renjun. You don’t want it, being the lowkey scaredy cat you are.”

Work no longer felt like work, and that’s what everyone aspired to feel. Nevertheless, he tended to worry over you mid-shift, glancing at you from his side view. Sketching, reading, and writing were your default actions. No matter how many times he said to himself not to let your dislike for him affect him, it’d always backfire.

Why were you so cold?

What made you lose your fire from all the research he did about your lively personality?

When morning arrived and he gathered his stuff, you’d be the last thing he’ll check on. Frozen in your standing pose, smiling as you held a book and a pencil, he detected how fake it was. Bystanders would only assume your happiness was from your achievements, though Jeno’s gut firmly pried that something grand overpowered that happiness. And definitely, not in a good way.

Out of all the art pieces, he investigated on you the most. Skimming through every material in the library, endless searching on the net, even asking professors from the History department thanks to Renjun, he did whatever he could. People may already think he was obsessed with who you are, but only little did they know.

Another plate was done and submitted, and he promised himself to look you up one last time before surrendering. For someone who’s rarely given up on a challenge, this one was really out of his control. Maybe he should follow Sanghoon’s footsteps now.

You lived centuries before him, and there’s limited material of you left. Rather than learning of your adventures again, he dug through what things you liked over your life. Maybe by giving one of them, it’ll lessen the tension from a 100 to 99. Maybe you preferred gifts over words, he’ll never know until he tried.

Boom.

According to one of your journal entries, there’s a fond liking you’ve acquired for lavender roses from Benjamin and Liam when they visited you in Paris in secret because of how much you missed them. It went both ways, praying your family ties could be recovered.

It’s a good thing he needed to refill his stock of items for the art pieces so he could pass by the flower store a few blocks away from his dorm. That night, without further words, he graciously offered you a fresh lavender rose in between your new sketching session.

“I may not know exactly why you’re spiritless around me, but with this rose, I hope we could work something out.”

Your frigid face of disdain, keeping your chin high and squinting your eyes with judgment, began to crumble down.  Of all things as a peace offering, he gave you that? Then again, it’s not like he knew that an item you liked so much became something you’ve grown to hate and why so. No history books could teach him that.

Vulnerability was a normal thing, yet feared by many. Once one uncovered your weak spot, they could harm you. You still couldn’t trust Jeno fully, not willing to show your helplessness nor were you ever going to tell him. Hidden from his knowledge, everyone else including Sanghoon were familiarized as to why this kind of flower tormented you.

You sprinted like thunder out the exhibit room to wherever it’s private to control your senses. You may not have a physical heart, but your emotions were just as actual as a human’s. You needed to regulate your panting breath. In the past decades, you’ve not shed a singular tear but the cycle broke when they streamed out your miserable eyes like a flowing river. Quiet sobs, an empty corner near the fire exit was where your wobbly legs faltered, the painful memories of the past replayed in your head. Once beautiful, but now an agonizing reminder of what could’ve been.

Katherine, Cleopatra, and Anne were swift on their feet to hunt you down, anxious of what you may do next. Seeing or the mention of these flowers still affected you despairingly. Sanghoon must’ve forgotten to write them down, or perhaps he didn’t know either about this fact during all the years he’s worked there.

It’s one of the biggest secrets of his museum. By the clueless face Jeno had with his eyebrows raised, mouth, and small eyes slightly open, he repeatedly asked what he did wrong and adding that he never meant to harm you. Indeed, they knew that yet what occurred involved a secret in the list of museum secrets. Confidential only between art pieces according to Athena, none of the male wax figures spoke a word, only pitying the boy.

“I wasn’t here yet that time, but they said that it was once beautiful, but now it’s a rough period.” With hesitation, Princess Diana chose to reveal it to rid Jeno’s misery. She didn’t mind having to argue about it with Athena later on, as this may further affect the two of you later on.

“A long time ago in the early ‘80s, there was a night guard around your age named Junmyeon. Also, a college student, trying to make ends meet. He did it for 3 years until he graduated. Though within his stay, not only was he such a delight to everyone, he broke a golden rule in the guide. I believe you do know the guide much more now, Jeno?”

“Yes, I do, Princess Diana. Memorized it even, but which one specifically?” Jeno’s desperate eyes pleaded, only hoping for the best and to fix what he messed up.

“You can form friendships with the art pieces, but nothing more.” Princess Diana replied bitterly. “Junmyeon was an aspiring painter, a different path from his business-oriented family. He was seen as the black sheep. She resonated with him, sharing the burden and lifting it by doing whatever fun they could in the museum. In time, they both fell in love with each other; they were each other’s first loves.”

“Why must something beautiful like love be broken? It’s not like you can control it. That golden rule makes no sense.”

“It does, unfortunately. Wax figures like me cannot age, while humans like you can. None of them could accept the reality, always pushing it away. Until Junmyeon’s last week in university, he broke it off with her unexpectedly. From there, (Y/N) was heartbroken for decades. With heartbreak, giving the cold shoulder and bitterness followed. Then with the lavender rose you gave that she used to love became a flower that she associated with Junmyeon too because he gave her one almost every night for those past 3 years.”

Things finally added up, and the guilt in Jeno’s gut expanded. His major lightbulb moment was a major failure.

“Has Junmyeon ever returned to try and win her back?”

“Well, there was one time he did come back for an art exhibition for his paintings in the 2000s. I was already here, then he had a woman around his shoulder with an adolescent boy holding his hand. He roamed around our exhibit and kept gawking at (Y/N). We may be asleep, but we remember the conversations exchanged in the room. So, his son then asked him if he knew who she was.”

“What did he respond?” Jeno attentively listened, on the edge of such a hurtful tale.

“He knew her name, praising her for historical achievements. However, nothing as a former friend or lover. From what I predict, he ingested one of Circe’s potions.”

“But I thought Circe isn’t allowed to make potions for actual consumption. She’s not even allowed to enter the Oriental Art Room.” Jeno pointed out, overwhelmed at the puzzling past. Princess Diana was mindful that she had to stop spreading too much information, so she had to end her discussion with the lost boy.

“There are a lot of secrets about this museum, Jeno. Unfortunately, I cannot reveal to you to protect our peace.”

With due respect, Jeno quit his follow-up questions and concerns. The only thing he wished to do was mend his relationship with you. As vague as to where you even stood in the first place, he unintentionally crossed a line due to his selfish intention to befriend you.

“What can I do now, Princess Diana? You know I’d never push her buttons like that, even if I’m a whimsical person.”

“Oh, my boy.” Princess Diana soothed, holding both her hand on his sweaty palm and cupping his cheek. “For the meantime, give her space. No taunting for a while, and just observe her from a distance. Though do not fret the slightest; I’m sure she’ll be okay again.”

During that interval, you were hunched on the wall, bawling and weeping like the wound was brand new again. While Katherine and Anne stood by your side, on the lookout for anyone who’d be spying on you, Cleopatra knelt in front of you as your infinite tears gushed down.

“My dear,” She tried to wipe some of them while holding your hand. “It’s been years, and Jeno didn’t know a single thing. He didn’t mean to do it.”

“I don’t care, Cleopatra! He should’ve stopped trying to socialize with me because I won’t ever live down my experience with Junmyeon.”

“As if crying like this will bring Junmyeon back to your life,” Cleopatra exclaimed, holding in her temper. Acquainted with heartbreak, it’s awful that it changed you entirely, but you should’ve found a way to heal. Throughout your attitude change, it’s mostly you in pain, not those you inflict it to. “My dear, I love you a lot. But this Jeno boy is different, and you know it.”

“He’s still a nightguard, for Christ’s sake, Cleopatra.”

“You shouldn’t generalize that all night guards are bad just because of one encounter that occurred at the wrong time.” Brushing some strands stuck by your wet visage, she professed to you bluntly. “You’re never going to know how good Jeno is unless you slowly open up again, (Y/N). Not forcing you the slightest, but healing started once you’ve acknowledged the past and move on from it.”

“But I’m scared, Cleopatra.” You restlessly admitted, hunching even more against the wall. Your poor, metaphorical heart could only take so much. You barely expressed sorrow towards others as you always held a strong exterior, only letting it out alone. Not holding back anymore, Cleopatra brought you in for a hug. The last time she did that was the first night after Junmyeon left, calming your intensified emotions so you wouldn’t do anything dumb that night. No violence, just pure sorrow.

“My dear, it’s alright.” She whispered while stroking your back upwards. “But you’re a risktaker; that’s how people remember you. Now, you must challenge yourself to move on from things that didn’t work out. Because once you do, it’ll put your heart and mind at ease.”

“Do you think I’ll be okay again?”

“Yes, you will be, my dear. You are not alone, and never will be.”

Acting like the dutiful son he always was, Jeno distanced from you.

He still cracked jokes, chatted with the art pieces, and followed the rules, yet never did he utter anything to you. You’ve proudly anticipated it since day one, not wanting him up in your business or teasing you ever. But this time, it felt odd.

On nights he didn’t report, you’ve unconsciously wondered what he may have been up to. A job like this at his age was just as Sanghoon once said: nothing in the regular.

Was he with his friends?

Was he resting well?

From the moment you chose to let go of your limitations and old thoughts, it included your grudge against past guards. Asking for forgiveness to Sanghoon when he returns was on the top of your list, however, that’ll take a while to happen. In the start, you’re baffled as to why he no longer picked on you like every night he’s been present. Somehow, it became a habit you’ve gotten used to, having so many comebacks planned to fend yourself. But you didn’t want to concede to it, maintaining what was left of your pride since that breakdown.

While on the subject, you suspected if anyone told him anything that night because that also indicated the last time he reached out to you. By anything, it would be your unwritten past with Junmyeon. A part of yourself in the museum that you didn’t want to disperse like rapid-fire again. It would be the last thing you wanted Jeno to know.

To your misfortune, Princess Diana came clean due to your growing concern over it. Although your attitude changed and people got used to it, you could only blame yourself that you were responsible for Jeno’s change.

“All he wanted was to understand and enlighten us with his likable presence. Then with you, you were his challenge because of your high walls. Out of everyone, he tried to learn everything about you. From my observation, whenever he has a goal, he’s determined to achieve it.”

“But I’m trying to be better now, Diana. Why did he stop?”

“He may have determination, but he knows where the boundaries lie.” Princess Diana patted the side of your arm, giving you a half-grin. “It hurt him when he hurt you, even if it was accidental. So he opted to give you space; that way, you could catch a breather and he wouldn’t harm you anymore. It was what you wanted from the start anyways, right?”

A hard pill to swallow, though it was a fact. It’s just that now, you’re slowly willing to release yourself from the dark. It’s been decades, and more to come. Nothing can move on unless you do.

“Where is he, Princess Diana?”

Just as she predicted right on the edge, Diana completed the grin on her face and led you to the entrance of your exhibit. She may be younger than you, but you’re reverted in your twenties while she remained in her mid-thirties. Gaping the wide museum from the railing, starting from the painting exhibit in the lobby to across the other side of the museum, Diana spotted the black hair of the boy in the Foreign Art Room.

“Over there.”

Observing where her eyes focused, you caught a glimpse of a recognizable side profile. The owner’s eyes were completely taken by whatever he was drawing on the fold-up desk he brought out from the storage room. By the tedious action of his right hand going up and down, you’ve gotten so used to his part-time identity as the night guard to entirely dismiss his current status as a university student.

Architecture specifically as he first introduced himself to you. The same path your oldest brother, Christopher, worked in. The look of tenacity Jeno presented as his eyebrows continuously scrunched, his crescent orbs hastily spied his work for any unnecessary details and his veiny hands brushed his already messy hair, you were profoundly reminded of Christopher when he was designing his possible future house. You were 8 years old, and he was 22, who just got married. He explained how many floors it’ll have, what rooms to put and what extra furniture he’ll place to make it feel more at home.

Seeing how exceptional his art skills were, you started to sketch like him. With flowers first, it turned into bedrooms and sceneries of your neighborhood. You felt your shoulders rise in accomplishment when you were able to accurately draw people. As much as you credited Benjamin and Liam the most in your works, it’ll only be within yourself to know that you also held a soft spot for Christopher.

Excusing yourself to Princess Diana, you bravely yet quietly ventured into the Foreign Art Room. Hiding first from one of the cement columns, you resumed watching him sketch. Instead of a pencil, he used a black pen with a tip as thin as a pencil. Your assumptions would be it was for a class, basing it on him informing everybody earlier that he’ll be inactive for the remaining hours of his shift to focus on his midterm requirements. That must be difficult to balance, yet he still does everything expected from him. Maybe the second cup of iced coffee beside him stimulated his bones and mind, letting his imagination free.

Through the limited space, you tiptoed whilst holding the side of the column to make up his work. There were 2 and a half rectangular shapes stacked on top of each other, the third one he was still tracing. A sign encrypted with tiny written words you couldn’t decipher, the beauty and modernity of Jeno’s plate cannot go unappreciated.

“That’s absolutely beautiful.”

Sweet words you didn’t think would bounce back in the room, Jeno’s pace ceased whilst you hid again. Art pieces capable of walking weren’t allowed here, he locked the door even beforehand! Or he thought as he was rushing to get his work done because one of his terror professors moved up the deadline to tomorrow morning. Not even 25% finished, he petitioned for everyone’s cooperation just for tonight.

He used up his 2 days of not having the night shift for other projects, and not wanting to ruin his perfect attendance, he proceeded to show up.

The voices from the foreign paintings around him hushed for him out of respect. So possibly someone snuck in, his head looking around for intruders. But only did he quit it when he saw your blurry reflection leaning against the column. The glass windows slightly mirror back what it sees, without you knowing that.

Not to mention, the small bit of your lilac dress was left out. Of all people, it was you?

“Do my eyes deceive me or is Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N) inside when she’s not allowed so?”

To break the killing tension, he tested the waves with an innocent taunt. Never did you reach out to him, so least to say he was entertained whilst keeping his distance.

Fixing your proud stance, you responded in a low baritone voice you used to persuade numerous men in her adventures. “Uhm no, I don’t know who she is.”

As intelligent as you were, Jeno was a few steps farther than you this time. Educated about the risky ways you’d get around and one of them was changing the pitch of your voice, he heartily laughed at your unsuccessful attempt.

“Okay don’t lie, (Y/N). I can see a trail of your dress and your cloak. Oh, your reflection too.”

Damn, you peeked a little to realize that he was correct. Hauling your dress back in to readjust your outfit, you pushed your hair back before appearing to him. Though when you did such, you didn’t suppose that he was practically beside you the entire time. Bumping into his towering stance of 5’10 while the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, your proud posture loosened up. He even discarded his blazer. A few more inches, he could’ve cornered you on the column if you didn’t take another step back.

Has he always been this tall or were you so used to your boots having high heels under? Oh wait, maybe because you wore flats this time because it’s making your toes sore. Your head bowed from struggling to maintain eye contact with him, your palms caressing your cheeks that suddenly heated up. Clearing your throat, you straightened your back again like nothing happened.

Jeno thought otherwise, shrugging his shoulders as he chuckled. He’s never seen you get shy, not that it was a bad thing either. The temptation to play around it more was there, but he was running out of time for his assignment.

“Come in. I’ll let you off the hook this time.” His arms opened up, allowing you access to such a wonderful exhibit. Paintings from different European periods, miniature versions of famous infrastructures inside glass containers, and replicas of Greek columns in the front entrance, no wonder it’s important to protect them all.

“Are you sure?” Watching him return to his spot, which was a bench in the center of the exhibit with a table in front, it didn’t process that you were gawking at his toned back. His broad shoulders and the evident muscles in his arms while he stretched, your eyes were speedy to look away when he tried to take a glance at you.

“I don’t think the paintings here and I mind.” Sitting down again, he tapped the vacant space beside him. “Feel free to watch me draw if you want to.”

Settling by his side, he recommenced where he left off. Now with a closer view of his piece, it did look like a building as you thought. He was sketching the remaining outline of the 3rd floor of this hypothetical place, continuously checking his ruler to monitor if the lines were consistent. Able to pick up on the words of the sign beside the building, you wowed with one hand on your lips.

“You’re redrawing Seoul National University Museum of Art?”

“One of my plate assignments was to visualize a renovation of a certain place, so I chose the museum.”

“Why so?”

“Well,” Jeno shook his pen so the ink could come out. “This entire place comes to life with the royal plate, so I think we should expand the space and bring in more art pieces to life if we add another extra floor. A rooftop area for visitors and events would be fun. And definitely, we should modernize the exterior and interior a bit because it looks outdated personally. That’s also what my friends think too.”

Noticing the minor details of his plate whilst removing any unnecessary pens so it wouldn’t smudge, “Huh, I quite agree with you.”

For the first time since his night shift, you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), came into an agreement with him. He became so accustomed to clashing opinions that now, you had no contrasting points to make at all. A good change perhaps was what he’s witnessing.

“Woah, who are you agreeing with me and where’s (Y/N)?” He creased his brows whilst locking eye contact with you. This time, you didn’t wince away and just nudged him on his shoulder to get back to work.

“Hush, Jeno. Isn’t that due later? Get to work, I’ll roam around here for the meantime.”

After decades in this museum, you’re enlightened with the foreign paintings in which some you’ve heard of in your younger years and some that were created beyond your time. The Birth of Venus, Liberty Leading the People, Girl with a Pearl Earring, there’s an advantage of learning about their stories that humans couldn’t interpret. Logical that this section must be off-limits because these pieces were extra special, yet there’s so much more than what meets the eye.

There’s peace in silence while you wandered around, though it doesn’t hinder only at the art. Jeno hasn’t uttered a word since he got back to drawing, and once you asked him what’s doing now, still no answer back. Odd, he’s constantly awa-

Oh, my. You must’ve jinxed it.

Your eyes laid on Jeno leaning forward on his desk with his arms serving as his pillow, resting his head sideways. Soft snores and minimal movement in his upper body to shake the growing cold temperature of the room, he was sleeping like a log.

Putting into perspective, he hasn’t acquired enough rest specifically this past 2 weeks. The endless number of plates due making him work extra during his shift rather than sleeping in the slightest, exhaustion must be an understatement. Coffee no longer pushed him to his maximum for this week even.

But this was the path he chose, and it’ll have its challenges. Still, if you could relieve the stress in any way, you would. This would be one of the ways to repay for all the rudeness you’ve passed on him. Scurrying to his side, placing the plate on the side with his other things. You returned the caps of his open pens so they don’t spill. They must be expensive, recalling how Jeno shared the cons of being an architecture major to Princess Diana. One was the pens needed for sketching, and any tiny damages to them meant buying them again.

With his watch on clear display, he only had 2 hours left until his shift was done. Then, 4 hours until his plate assignment was done, and his current plate was far from done.

The blunt impulse to wake him up slithered your mind, though his calm state deflected your duty. As if you were on board a ship again for your explorations, you paid attention to the view with a relaxed mindset.

Lee Jeno specifically was the view.

His coffee-stained lips were parted and his sharp nose breathing in and out at a relaxing pace, he must be dreaming a happy moment the way half his lips curved into a smile. If he’s resting well, then you too would be calm.

Because of your past disinterest in him, only at this moment did you observe how sharp his jawline was and the cuts on his arms he sought refuge in. No matter how many times you tried to deny Hera’s compliments of him on the side, you couldn’t.

Lee Jeno embodied attractive features; both physical and emotional.

Back to his plate, it’ll put him at a disadvantage if he submitted the way it looked before he passed out. But you remembered all those extra details he mentioned and wanted to add to this project. Being an explorer, you documented all your ventures through words or drawings. You’re fast to adjust to anything new too.

For all the good he’s done for everyone, he only deserved some help in return.

Your version of help was sketching the remaining details of this plate, using other pens for more emphasis. It’s a risk also, but no way could you turn a blind eye on Jeno this time.

Around 5:30 am, Jeno’s eyes blinked open due to a brightening light from the outside. Stretching his limbs, he finds a velvet cloak wrapped around him like a blanket. But before he could question it, he pulled his arm in to see the time on his watch.

“Fuck!” He cursed, realizing that his so-called 10-minute snooze break aborted.

“Oh my, you’re awake!” From his frazzled state, there you were. So put together yet active, some strands of your hair falling down your face even with your hair up in a ponytail. “How was your sleep?”

This whole time he could’ve been woken up, yet you chose not to. You’re aware of his deadline, yet you let him rest entirely. He could’ve burst out in stress, yet he didn’t. You and he may have started on the wrong foot, yet it’s impossible of you to do such an evil thing. He’ll just have to tolerate the outcome later today.

“Refreshing. I really needed it.” Packing his things in his bag and closing the table, you trailed along as he exited with you. Locking up, he has 30 minutes left to accomplish the cleaning. A long good morning indeed.

But his worry of that vanished when you admitted that you had it all covered.

“Everyone helped out in cleaning, plus there are no damages made either.” From your hand, you returned one of his keys that was on his guard blazer. “I double-checked the Oriental Room and locked the doors again.”

“Why are you suddenly so nice to me, (Y/N)?” He questioned with confusion, wearing his blazer again and patting away any creases. He placed your cloak over you again like a true gentleman.

Without a word, you simply invited him to walk you back to your exhibit as parts of the sun began to rise. As you returned to your section, your fellow figures readying themselves to pose again,

“It’s my way to apologize for my very rude first impression and the succeeding moments after. I was too cooped up in my past that I was too afraid to let humans in again, night guards in particular.” You admitted, removing your cloak and placing behind your chair like always. “I’m so sorry, Jeno. Everyone was right about you and your kind heart.”

“About time.” Cleopatra’s sultry voice cut in, laying on her day bed.

Before you had the chance to flip off, Jeno mediated swiftly. With a gentle smile, “No worries about it. I’m just happy you’re okay, after all you’ve been through.”

“Can we start over then?”

“Absolutely.” With his free hand, he brought it out. No matter what kind of introductions, shaking one’s hand was the best way to start a friendship. “Good evening. I’m Lee Jeno, the new museum night guard.”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), explorer and author.” Sighing at his humor, you still replied by shaking his hand. “And I believe you’re mistaken, Lee Jeno. It’s a good morning.”

Seconds after, you imitated your typical pose and smile. Only now, the latter was more genuine. Finally, a fresh start to end your agony.

Once the sun fully revealed itself, every figure including yourself froze back to sleep. Something Jeno wished to catch up on if it weren’t for his damn plate. He was so screwed, already contemplating his next steps if he does fail this class. The possibility of getting delayed in all aspects, he dreaded it already.

Heading back to his dorm, where both his roommates completely passed out from soju on the couch, he sat by his work desk and turned on his night lamp for more light since the sun wasn’t strong enough yet.

With another cup of coffee, he cracked the joints of his knuckles and laid out his pens. He had 2 hours left to submit this plate, and at most he should accomplish 50% of his initial plan. However, he didn’t anticipate such a gorgeous outcome when he brought out his plate.

Picture perfect of every detail he desired, even adding a rooftop area with that he’d love to have if ever the museum does go under renovation one day. Rather than setting the plate during the day, it was at night as the skies were dark and bright specks of yellow inside the building symbolized light.

So much for wasting coffee, he’ll just give it to Jaemin when he wakes up later. Below the final product, a note written in cursive was stuck on it.

 I knew you wanted to get this specific plate done, but you mustn’t compromise your sleep for it. It’s your inhumane professor’s fault!

To make up for my faults, I wanted to help you out. I paid extra attention to the details you spoke highly about, so I only hoped that I interpreted it correctly. It’s risky, but as someone who researched so much about me, would you be surprised that I did such a thing?

PS: Get back to sleep. I’m quite sure your desk is laid out the same way in the Foreign Art Room.

Respectfully,

(Y/N)

 Turning off his lamp, Jeno jumped the covers of his bed to continue his lost sleep. Without an ounce of care that he hasn’t changed into cleaner clothes, he’s relieved that he won’t flunk his class.

Most of all, he’s relieved that you’ve melted the ice in you and allowed kindness to come in. Jeno may never understand how hard that must’ve been for you, yet he raved you for it.

“Oh, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Surprise is an understatement when it comes to you.”

[jdrizzle15]

Her Second Return

Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when she’s gone.

But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isn’t gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! I’m here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!

I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goes…

A Father’s Words:

In Episode 7 of Volume 7, ‘Worst Case Scenario’ we learn the origins of Penny’s aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time she’s brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.

Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, I’m not sure about this as I feel like it’s akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.

Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, ‘Amity’ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.

Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.

This entire scene with Pietro established “this is what will likely happen” even if circumstances are much different now, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is a key part of Penny’s story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.

Building Relationship:

The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesn’t feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when they’re separated?

In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how ‘just friends’ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...

Representation of Hope:

At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. It’s not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. It’s about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.

Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Ruby’s hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Ruby’s face is plain to see!

In V8 chapter 5 ‘Amity’, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Penny’s agency.

In chapter 11 ’Risk’ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how they’re going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.

It’s not huge, but it’s interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Penny’s scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, it’s interesting that it’s Penny.

Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them

The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Penny’s around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because she’ll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.

A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.

Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.

The Void Screams:

Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.

Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Penny’s death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.

And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.

Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.

The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. There’s also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.

Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.

Narnia Parallels:

Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares aren’t exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwood’s office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadis’s winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.

Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.

"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magician’s Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadis’s troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate ‘aoe’ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.

Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James it’s the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis it’s the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on one’s own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works — it must work — but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.” Jadis’s immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, how’s having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didn’t keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.

The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. ‘When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.’ Well, the ‘Stone Table’ in James’s office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlas’s people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Penny’s self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.

(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)

Norse Mythology:

The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.

Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.

I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.

The whole of Yggdrasil’s representations fit well into Penny’s story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Penny’s appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle she’s gone through before.

The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Penny’s life.

There’s another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odin’s death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.

This story doesn’t fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often don’t. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odin’s story here. What she did wasn’t for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odin’s story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.

Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.

It is said that Odin lived “according to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.

Side Note: I encourage anyone who’s interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, there’s a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but it’s fun to think about!

(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)

Ambrosius and the Staff:

Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered ‘longer than that’. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically don’t just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.

The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.

They’ve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, it’s a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.

Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.

A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics “fight for every life” playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, it’s a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Penny’s life.

Musical Hints:

In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Penny’s recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. It’s simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. There’s no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.

What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for “Fight for ev’ry life” and “Who fin’lly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they aren’t perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line “Fight for every life” comes just after “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall,” which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Penny’s sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.

For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Penny’s feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Penny’s feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrha’s? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.

If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)

(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)

What We Didn’t See:

It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about it’s abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we don’t get to hear her explain herself after her strained “Trust me.” All of that seems really suspicious to me.

Pyrrha Parallel:

Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesn’t make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him she’d be alright.

The Moment:

RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.

The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.

On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. It’s almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.

At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like it’s the first choice Penny’s ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isn’t the case. However, this is the first choice that Penny’s made solely independently and it’s rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.

Transfer of Power:

As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It’s possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jaune’s semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like something’s up with how that went down.

A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.

Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o it’s possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.

This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?

An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesn’t seem to fully disappear, she just glows.

It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!

And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and I’m not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...

Jaune’s Aura:

The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.

He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesn’t make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.

Pinocchio Allusion:

As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.

Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.

In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8’s post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.

Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. It’s an out there theory I admit, but it’s not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.

Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!

A Girl That Fell Through the World:

Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Ruby’s grief first and foremost, which Penny won’t see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Penny’s absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as it’s unrecognizable to her.

What Returning Brings:

Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.

As much as I hate saying it, Penny’s death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom that’s so important to her character.

Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but I’m not sure she ever realized just how much.

I didn’t want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.

It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think “wait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?” That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.

I’m certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think I’ve been going long enough already. So let’s just roll into the outro!

As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and aren’t jumping into something they don’t have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I don’t think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.

I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I don’t blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isn’t broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.

I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! It’s actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!

@arcana-amicus

@catontheweb

@cosmokyrin

@gaydontmesswithme224

@jammatown919

@shadow-0f-x

They really helped get this thing across the finish line!

And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!

[lostcoves]

ft. tendou satori x fem!reader 

genre: angst with a fluffy ending

wc & warnings: 1.3k | mental health crisis, self harm, blood, hospitalization

premise: tendou can’t bear to watch you spiral out of control, he will do anything to keep you safe 

note: my piece for @doinmybesthere​‘s mental health awareness collab! my followers and moots might not know this about me but i am a suicide attempt survivor and someone with borderline personality disorder so writing this piece was really profound for me. this is based on my own experiences and i can only hope that you can get a glimpse into what living with bpd is like. please don’t interact with this if any of my above warnings are a trigger of yours! thank you and enjoy the story :)

tendou could sense you were spiraling.

he watched helpless, as the girl he fell in love with deteriorated before his very eyes. your smile turned from bright and cheerful to hollow and forced. your eyes, once shined like stars, were empty. worst of all was your behavior.

he didn’t understand why you were so angry all the time, accusatory and defensive. one minute you were affectionate, the next you were proclaiming how much you despised him. what was going on inside your mind?

“babe..” tendou croaked from behind the door to the shared bathroom of your small apartment, “please, please talk to me. i’m sorry for not telling you i was going out. i really am. i didn’t mean to scare you.”

“go away,” was your response. tendou sighed and blinked back tears, “do i need to call someone?”

“no!” you exclaimed from behind the door, “just.. just leave me alone. i need to be alone.”

“you know i can’t do that, bunny. you’re scaring me,” tendou was on the verge of sobbing. moments like these always worried him. he wasn’t sure what you were going to do in the moment.

a hiss of pain alerted tendou and something in his gut urged him to get you out of that bathroom. standing up, he used all of his strength for his volleyball days and broke down the door with a swift kick, “(y/n)!”

you sat on the ground, breath ragged and eyes wide. your forearms were covered in open cuts, bleeding profusely. in your bloody hands was a razor blade.

“no..” tendou fell to his knees, horrified by the sight before him, “bunny.. why did you do that? why did you do that to yourself?”

“t- tori, i think i’m sick,” you confessed, tears rolling down your eyes in fat blotches. tendou grabbed the razor blade from you and tossed it in the toilet, flushing the blade away. he embraced you tightly, “i’m gonna fix this, babe. i- i promise!”

picking you up bridal style, tendou carried you out of the apartment complex and to his car. he buckled you up and drove straight to the local hospital’s emergency room. tendou feared that you nicked a vein when you cut up your arms.

“someone! someone, help my girlfriend!” tendou screamed upon arrival to the emergency room. you were unconscious by the time you both reached the hospital, tendou’s clothes soaked in your blood.

doctors and nurses alike swarmed the two of you, a group of them getting you on a stretcher. you were whisked away for treatment, leaving tendou to stand there alone. he collapsed to the ground and sobbed, his body shaking. his angel, his angel was sick.

“tendou-san?” a nurse approached tendou cautiously. through his tears, he looked up at the nurse and asked, “wh- what is it?”

“(l/n)-san is gonna make it,” she reassured him, “but in order to best help her, we need to know what happened that caused this.”

“we got into a fight and- and-” tendou choked back a sob, “she cut her arms up like ribbons. she’s sick, she’s really sick and i don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“we’ll order a psych evaluation and get to the bottom of this,” the nurse gave tendou a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, “we will help her. i promise.”

“okay,” was his answer.

hours went by, as tendou sat in the waiting room. his phone was buzzing with missed calls and texts from his friends, concerned about your well-being. finally, after waiting for five hours, a doctor called out to him, “tendou-san?”

“how is she?” tendou asked when the doctor walked up to him. the doctor offered tendou a smile, “(l/n)-san is gonna have a smooth recovery. she was lucky to not have cut through any of the veins in her arm. we managed to stop the bleeding and stitch her up.”

“and the psych evaluation?”

“doctor mochizuki can answer your questions,” the doctor stepped aside and a tall woman in a white coat approached tendou, “tendou-san, i’m doctor mochizuki. i performed a psych evaluation on your girlfriend.”

“good to meet you.. what did you find out?” tendou cut right to the chase.

“just to clarify, you’re (y/n)’s healthcare  surrogate, correct?” asked doctor mochizuki. tendou gave her a nod, “yeah. (y/n) has no family and grew up in foster care so she made me her surrogate in case anything bad happened.”

“alrighty then,” doctor mochizuki seemed pleased, “then i’ll be straightforward with you. your girlfriend has a condition known as borderline personality disorder.”

“borderline what?” he asked.

“borderline personality disorder, it’s a severe psychiatric condition that- if left untreated- can result in great harm to your girlfriend,” the psychologist was brutally honest.

“can you make her feel better?” tendou’s throat began to close up, as tears formed in his eyes.

“with extensive therapy and medication, she can live a long and happy life. the best course of action for now is to admit her into our inpatient psychiatric unit.”

“i’m not putting my girlfriend in a mental hospital! she’s not crazy!” tendou yelled, angry and scared.

doctor mochizuki laid a hand on his shoulder, “she’s not crazy, i agree. but she’s very sick and she is at risk of suicide, especially after an episode of that magnitude,” she then added in a soft voice, “it’s for her own good.”

“can.. can i visit her?” tendou sniffled.

“of course you can,” doctor mochizuki smiled, “and our unit has some of japan’s finest psychiatrists and psychologists, one of which is an expert in personality disorders like what (y/n) has. she will be in good hands.”

tendou took a deep breath, “okay.. as long as (y/n) consents. can i see her now?” he paused, “please?”

“of course,” doctor mochizuki stepped aside and gestured down the hall, “she’s in the room over there, first door on the left.”

“thank you,” and with that, tendou gathered his belongings and made his way to you. he carefully opened the door, not wanting to disturb your peace, and shut it quietly. the sight of you hooked up to machines galore and your bandaged arms made a pit form in the center of tendou’s stomach.

“hey bunny,” he whispered, taking a seat next to you on the bed. he caressed your cheek gently and watched as your eyes fluttered open. a groan escaped your lips and you spoke softly to tendou, “where.. where am i?”

“you’re in the hospital. you had.. they called it an episode,” tendou explained.

“an episode?” you asked, still groggy from the medicine. 

“yes, bunny,” his voice shook a bit, “you have a personality disorder.”

“i do?” you were confused, staring up at tendou with those doe-like eyes of yours, “what’s.. what’s that?”

“it’s called borderline personality disorder and it’s making you very sick,” tendou held back his tears, “but the doctors here are gonna help you get treated, okay? they want to take you to the inpatient psych–” he cleared his throat, “the mental health unit.”

“will they help me feel better?” you reached out for tendou’s hand. he took it and held it close, “yes, yes they will. you will be in great hands. i promise, i promise i’ll visit you as much as i can until you’re released.”

“okay,” you sighed and gave tendou a smile, “i’ll do it.”

tendou nearly cried with joy at your answer, “you’re so brave, baby girl,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

a diagnosis like this changed everything but tendou was ready. 

he would do anything to keep you safe and happy.