#tw hospitlization

[surprisinglydomestickakashi]

Researched some of the scenes and he doesn't take the stance but it's because Gai is holding him up. So he's near chakra exhaustion and having a panic attack.

kakashi has what appears to be multiple panic attacks throughout the show, and he takes the same stance every single time, and i only recently noticed this, so i wanted to point it out bc idk if anyone else has noticed this. you can visbily see his shoulders quickly rising and falling, meaning he is breathing quite heavily.

1st screenshot: After Gai uses the 8th gate, and Kakashi presumes he did not survive the action

2nd screenshot: Kakashi choking up while using Chidori soon after the incident with Rin

3rd screenshot: Obito takes Kaguya's rod to the stomach and begins to fall apart

4th screenshot: Soon after Kakashi exited the 72 hour genjutsu from Itachi

(in the second screenshot, that was a canon panic attack, as we see his eyesight get blurry and stuff, but the other three are me simply implying with context clues such as his heavy breathing.)

[lostcoves]

ft. tendou satori x fem!reader 

genre: angst with a fluffy ending

wc & warnings: 1.3k | mental health crisis, self harm, blood, hospitalization

premise: tendou can’t bear to watch you spiral out of control, he will do anything to keep you safe 

note: my piece for @doinmybesthere​‘s mental health awareness collab! my followers and moots might not know this about me but i am a suicide attempt survivor and someone with borderline personality disorder so writing this piece was really profound for me. this is based on my own experiences and i can only hope that you can get a glimpse into what living with bpd is like. please don’t interact with this if any of my above warnings are a trigger of yours! thank you and enjoy the story :)

tendou could sense you were spiraling.

he watched helpless, as the girl he fell in love with deteriorated before his very eyes. your smile turned from bright and cheerful to hollow and forced. your eyes, once shined like stars, were empty. worst of all was your behavior.

he didn’t understand why you were so angry all the time, accusatory and defensive. one minute you were affectionate, the next you were proclaiming how much you despised him. what was going on inside your mind?

“babe..” tendou croaked from behind the door to the shared bathroom of your small apartment, “please, please talk to me. i’m sorry for not telling you i was going out. i really am. i didn’t mean to scare you.”

“go away,” was your response. tendou sighed and blinked back tears, “do i need to call someone?”

“no!” you exclaimed from behind the door, “just.. just leave me alone. i need to be alone.”

“you know i can’t do that, bunny. you’re scaring me,” tendou was on the verge of sobbing. moments like these always worried him. he wasn’t sure what you were going to do in the moment.

a hiss of pain alerted tendou and something in his gut urged him to get you out of that bathroom. standing up, he used all of his strength for his volleyball days and broke down the door with a swift kick, “(y/n)!”

you sat on the ground, breath ragged and eyes wide. your forearms were covered in open cuts, bleeding profusely. in your bloody hands was a razor blade.

“no..” tendou fell to his knees, horrified by the sight before him, “bunny.. why did you do that? why did you do that to yourself?”

“t- tori, i think i’m sick,” you confessed, tears rolling down your eyes in fat blotches. tendou grabbed the razor blade from you and tossed it in the toilet, flushing the blade away. he embraced you tightly, “i’m gonna fix this, babe. i- i promise!”

picking you up bridal style, tendou carried you out of the apartment complex and to his car. he buckled you up and drove straight to the local hospital’s emergency room. tendou feared that you nicked a vein when you cut up your arms.

“someone! someone, help my girlfriend!” tendou screamed upon arrival to the emergency room. you were unconscious by the time you both reached the hospital, tendou’s clothes soaked in your blood.

doctors and nurses alike swarmed the two of you, a group of them getting you on a stretcher. you were whisked away for treatment, leaving tendou to stand there alone. he collapsed to the ground and sobbed, his body shaking. his angel, his angel was sick.

“tendou-san?” a nurse approached tendou cautiously. through his tears, he looked up at the nurse and asked, “wh- what is it?”

“(l/n)-san is gonna make it,” she reassured him, “but in order to best help her, we need to know what happened that caused this.”

“we got into a fight and- and-” tendou choked back a sob, “she cut her arms up like ribbons. she’s sick, she’s really sick and i don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“we’ll order a psych evaluation and get to the bottom of this,” the nurse gave tendou a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, “we will help her. i promise.”

“okay,” was his answer.

hours went by, as tendou sat in the waiting room. his phone was buzzing with missed calls and texts from his friends, concerned about your well-being. finally, after waiting for five hours, a doctor called out to him, “tendou-san?”

“how is she?” tendou asked when the doctor walked up to him. the doctor offered tendou a smile, “(l/n)-san is gonna have a smooth recovery. she was lucky to not have cut through any of the veins in her arm. we managed to stop the bleeding and stitch her up.”

“and the psych evaluation?”

“doctor mochizuki can answer your questions,” the doctor stepped aside and a tall woman in a white coat approached tendou, “tendou-san, i’m doctor mochizuki. i performed a psych evaluation on your girlfriend.”

“good to meet you.. what did you find out?” tendou cut right to the chase.

“just to clarify, you’re (y/n)’s healthcare  surrogate, correct?” asked doctor mochizuki. tendou gave her a nod, “yeah. (y/n) has no family and grew up in foster care so she made me her surrogate in case anything bad happened.”

“alrighty then,” doctor mochizuki seemed pleased, “then i’ll be straightforward with you. your girlfriend has a condition known as borderline personality disorder.”

“borderline what?” he asked.

“borderline personality disorder, it’s a severe psychiatric condition that- if left untreated- can result in great harm to your girlfriend,” the psychologist was brutally honest.

“can you make her feel better?” tendou’s throat began to close up, as tears formed in his eyes.

“with extensive therapy and medication, she can live a long and happy life. the best course of action for now is to admit her into our inpatient psychiatric unit.”

“i’m not putting my girlfriend in a mental hospital! she’s not crazy!” tendou yelled, angry and scared.

doctor mochizuki laid a hand on his shoulder, “she’s not crazy, i agree. but she’s very sick and she is at risk of suicide, especially after an episode of that magnitude,” she then added in a soft voice, “it’s for her own good.”

“can.. can i visit her?” tendou sniffled.

“of course you can,” doctor mochizuki smiled, “and our unit has some of japan’s finest psychiatrists and psychologists, one of which is an expert in personality disorders like what (y/n) has. she will be in good hands.”

tendou took a deep breath, “okay.. as long as (y/n) consents. can i see her now?” he paused, “please?”

“of course,” doctor mochizuki stepped aside and gestured down the hall, “she’s in the room over there, first door on the left.”

“thank you,” and with that, tendou gathered his belongings and made his way to you. he carefully opened the door, not wanting to disturb your peace, and shut it quietly. the sight of you hooked up to machines galore and your bandaged arms made a pit form in the center of tendou’s stomach.

“hey bunny,” he whispered, taking a seat next to you on the bed. he caressed your cheek gently and watched as your eyes fluttered open. a groan escaped your lips and you spoke softly to tendou, “where.. where am i?”

“you’re in the hospital. you had.. they called it an episode,” tendou explained.

“an episode?” you asked, still groggy from the medicine. 

“yes, bunny,” his voice shook a bit, “you have a personality disorder.”

“i do?” you were confused, staring up at tendou with those doe-like eyes of yours, “what’s.. what’s that?”

“it’s called borderline personality disorder and it’s making you very sick,” tendou held back his tears, “but the doctors here are gonna help you get treated, okay? they want to take you to the inpatient psych–” he cleared his throat, “the mental health unit.”

“will they help me feel better?” you reached out for tendou’s hand. he took it and held it close, “yes, yes they will. you will be in great hands. i promise, i promise i’ll visit you as much as i can until you’re released.”

“okay,” you sighed and gave tendou a smile, “i’ll do it.”

tendou nearly cried with joy at your answer, “you’re so brave, baby girl,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

a diagnosis like this changed everything but tendou was ready. 

he would do anything to keep you safe and happy.

[maxmcyfield]

 i’ve been having such a bad week and now my best friend told me she’s going inpatient on wednesday and now it just got worse. like i’m glad she’s getting help but i wish i could do more. i’m so worried for her so so worried that i can’t help but cry. she won’t be contactable for a week and i can’t visit bc we don’t fucking live in the same country and i just. i just want her to be okay. i just want that for her i wish i could give it to her.

[anderson-residence]

@ruthlessnessisyourdesire @artofdeviancy something special for Mayson’s birthday

It was Mayson's birthday and the boy was looking forward to his family birthday party later in the day. For the morning he had gone out to play with friends.

That was when things took a drastic turn. There was a scream and one of the boy's friends came running into the house. Ava's stomach instantly knotted. Something was wrong.

Mayson had been hit by a car that ended up speeding away. In a blur Ava found herself in a waiting room. How had she gotten there? She must have driven herself and she must have called for help but she didn't recall.

Now she sat with her phone gripped in her hands. A thought came to her. She had calls to make. She was used to being alone, just her and her boy. But now Mayson's uncle was in their life and even if he tried to push them away his father should be told about the accident as well.

She looked at her phone and scrolled to her contacts. She stopped at a name near the top and hit dial. No answer. Damn it. Was he just busy or was Caleb ignoring her?

She hung up and tried the contact under it. It seemed to ring for far too long but when the line was finally picked up she was quick to talk, not giving the man a chance to talk.

"Connor. There was an accident- Mayson... He.. Oh god..." She couldn't compose herself. "You need to get to the hospital... the General. I tried calling Caleb he didn't answer. You need to be here. Both of you" She was a frazzled mess sobbing the words out. Did she even make sense? She didn't know, hardly processing the words that had just come from her.

"He needs... he's oh god just..." she trailed off.

[peridotsalien]

I’m at the ER now. I’m gonna be evaluated for psychiatric and this is hands down the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I know I need to be drastic to get better

Thank you to everyone who made me realize how bad I am and how much I need help

[frankieroandthelsdunes]

All the tw

So clearly I haven’t been okay.

A couple of months ago, every morning was spent fantasizing about blowing my brains out and how beautiful the splatter would be.

A month ago, I looked into how to buy a gun. In my state, they won’t grant a license if you have a history of mental health problems/hospitlizations. (Which I do, so fuck me.) I’ve been trying to reach out for help from friends and professionals, but no one understands the alienations, the disconnect I feel. If there is any response, it’s “Well, that sucks. Good luck with that.” I’ve tried going to support groups, hanging out with new people, etc. But I just end up feeling worse and further in my alienation. I don’t think there is any “fixing” me. I don’t think there is any place in this universe for me.

[gothgfveronicasawyer]

oof

[clefclefairy]

13 14

13: no and thank god, ive managed to be lucky on that front. the closest ive ever come is one time once upon a dream i used to copy/paste fic excerpts i particularly liked into word documents to basically have "fanfic's greatest hits" on my computer, and the printer fucked it up so it just spat  out all these documents and my granddad found them

but idk if he ever read them

also one time my teacher confiscated a notebook id written hardcore lesbian smut in (admittedly i was in 8th grade so it was a 14 y.o.'s idea of smut) and apparently gave the notebook to my teachers but idk if she read it

and if she did she cant fuckin talk i know she got like a stack of pornos

14: disown me i assume

mind u i honestly dont put up a lot of porn

so i guess commit me to a psych ward for all my sad yammering