#i cant study anymore
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never come to me for study advice because why am I writing a fic before my make it or break it exam 😀
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im so mentally drained by school that the only think that im looking forward to is xmas holidays (when ill have to study every day and wont have time to rest)
extra: every day im closer to june when ill have to take several exams with the whole year's syllabus for 7 subjects that will determine whether i enter university or not and im fucking stressed
#but everything is fine#not really#i cant study anymore#i just cant concentrate#im so tired#i have no motivation#and i cannot not have it#i have to enter uni#im tired#im stressed#im drained#fuck school#stress#school#spain#ebau#evau#selectividad#high school#study#student life#student#studentlife
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older wolfstar mess
#in my portrait study era ig#small brush from the last kierthur doodle rlly got me and its way less daunting to do close ups#plus and also i can work thru my heap of homoerotic reference pics#ive never rlly gotten to draw them grown and i do love these little guys#little wrinkles#marauders#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#my art#mwpp era#the ref i worked from is of two guys in bed i cant find it anymore but yeah wolfstar in bed domestic
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happy valentines day may all your love be monstrous and uncontainable
#almost done with my dmmd playthru again. yippee#my bf's big beautiful brain got him into med school so now he's stuck studying while im stuck drawing ppl eating each other. happy v day#dmmd#dramatical murder#someone commission me to draw more of these fucks i love drawing them but i cant justify doing it more bc#there's something else i have to be working on that ppl are actually paying me for lol#aoba seragaki#ren#fanart#artists on tumblr#tw gore#tw blood#i've been on here so long i dont even know how tws work anymore sorry. avert ur eyes
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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Jonny sleebing in fucked up ways (very self indulgent) :)
I actually wanted to color this but maybe another time...I have other ideas I desperatly need to attend to, and this was supposed to be a simple anatomy study
I loved figuring out his entire beastliness, and Im especially satisfied with his mechanism. I imagine the lid is half grown into his body, as his chest struggles to heal around it. this creates quite a heavy strain. I started sketching this in a haze of sleep deprevation and gender envy (look at his body hair....ghwuahhh)
of course he also gets his wife, because his wife is my wife (I love you briahn...brihnn..)
#if im not normal about sleeping he cant be normal about it either#two of hearts#jonny d'ville#the mechanisms#drumbot brian#anatomy study#kinda mad that I dont have the energy to colour this anymore#pls click on it the quality is so bad
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Sunday Moon
Hi there dear fellows and Luna lovers. Sunday arrived early.
Don't edit this drawing and don't post it anywhere.
This one is so precious to me. This artist knows ph and vnc and all the times they draw some character is like,,, I die. Latelly, I am a little obsess with Luna using the book of Vanitas.
The commission was made by @/heychikinan here on Tumblr, on Twitter and everywhere.
#vnc#the case study of vanitas#vanitas no carte#luna#votbm#fanart#commission#i bought#dont edit neither publish it anywhere#this#really#so beautiful#and the background#a#screams#also#do you remember this comm i share long long ago of luna using the book in a different style with super cool clothes#i shared that art with this artist as a reference#and they used it as inspiration#and i cant love it anymore#since i love that version of luna's clothes so much#you had no idea#the clothes are not blank#neither plain#texture#patrons#aaaaaa#love them#sunday moon
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Love slowly but surely becoming the odd one out in my circle for not using chat gpt even though it would "make my life so much easier and i could spend less time revising stuff" /neg
#“you need to learn how to use it if you want to make money” says my mom#“you should use it to sum up those huge texts so you can study them easier in less time” says my best friend who's technically also anti-ai#“you should—” how about i start fucking biting#little bit of my soul dies everytime i hear smth like that#at this point i dont even know why i hate it so much anymore. i just do. i guess its the principle of it. it's core. but it's everywhere#it tires me out and im so tired already#cant i get help without having to ask a machine for it? is it really all there is left for me to turn to? did i fall this low? did we?#it wouldn't even recognize whats important and what isn't#i think I'll just tear a nerve from stress on my own#sighs#delete later maybe#i dont think i care at this point#sunshine talks
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Evil protagonist or something
#my art#tokyo ghoul#black reaper kaneki#kaneki ken#art#ken kaneki#I sat down thinking I would do some studies of reaper and haise#then got possessed or something because when I came to myself after 3 hours this was in front of me last night#Probably one of the best things I ever made. I did the last touches just now. I cant tell what is what anymore tho#my brain got fried
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did I just write a nanami fic cuz I was stressed for my exam tomorrow?????
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Romanticizing exam season (STEM edition)
Heavy textbooks, messy doodles on tables as you start overthinking your life again, discarded empty ink bottles, colored pens, messy markings on loose sheets, anatomy sketches, ink smudges on your hands, on your clothes, nervous pacing around your room as you try to memorize every part of the human body, physics formulae scribbled in walls, tables in a frenzy, dramatic scribbles of poetic epiphanies as you get lost in daydreams, dirty tea cups, bed half covered with books, making reading lists trying to romanticize what you will do after exams are over, dreams of a white coat, a perpetual haunting in your eyes, a longing for your dreams, permanent dark circles and hunched back, the blessing and curse of an academic hell
#dark acadamia aesthetic#aesthetic#dark academism#books#dark acamedia#dark academia moodboard#dark academia aesthetic#academia#academia lucifer#studystudystudy#studying#study aesthetic#romanticizing life#romanticizing school#light academia aesthetic#light academia#spilled words#rambles#fuck exams#exam season#exams#dark academic#dark academia#this is all I can do to survive atp#i cant anymore#i need exams to be over#stem academia#women in stem#stem student#stem dark academia
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Lemme talk about Cait and her grief for a sec because that I keep telling myself that you're different - but you're not line goes hard and I'll tell you why:
So grief, as someone Who Knows, is as much about identity as it is about that feeling of loss, anger, defeat, hopelessness SADNESS and allllll that because fundamentally the very basis of who you are is made up a big part of who you are with - add to that the complexities of a mother/child and mother/DAUGHTER relationship and you're almost guaranteed a recipe for disaster once that basis violently gets torn apart.
So it's not so much about Caitlyn saying that Vi didn't change, it's about her recognizing that she herself DID and that's why they're parting ways now- I'm putting that mildly tbh but it's part of why she's going off the rails, leaving Vi when they need eachother now more than ever but that feeling, and I know that feeling- it creeps up on you when everything is feeling and looking different, just off somehow because it's YOU who's changed because of the insane traumatic impact but maybe you don't realize yet cause its early days so you feel disappointed and irritated by everyone around you and the closer they are, or the closer they get the more alienated and distanced you become because your grief has you in a chokehold but you can't put a mirror to it yet when it's so raw to find that it comes from YOU and you alone and lashing out, even when it feels righteous and good in the moment is ultimately going to destroy more than you can possibly imagine... yeah.
So Cait's next line it's her blood in your veins is raw af and gives the whole exchange a deeper meaning BUT it's the thing she didn't say that gets to me the most.
I keep telling myself that you're different, but you're not.
I am.
Cait is, she's the one who changed and if Ambessa hadn't gotten her hooks in her I still think we would've seen Caitlyn spiral regardless because that's what grief does, it's ugly and I fucking LOVE, love love that we're seeing it in a show as big as arcane with a character as liked and as good as Caitlyn because we're all one devastation, one horror and one heartbreak away of becoming exactly that, and that's okay, because we need to see that kind of character development too.
And remember, it isn't all bad- grief really does change with time so I'm sure Cait also gets her 'redeeming moment' at some point but even if she didn't I'd still love her cause I get it, I've been there, and recognizing it in the middle of my tragic lesbian otp breakup scene made me feel so fucking seen you guys have no idea. 🩷
#anyway im totally normal about my girl i just need ppl to chill with the hate if i see one more i cant support cait anymore bla bla post im#gonna start throwing rocks at ppl fr#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane s2#caitvi#cause arguably this is abt the breakup scene innit#character study#rant rant#ninja writes meta at 2am#not me projecting in any way shape or form no ma'm
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how to not want to ACTUALLY KILL YOURSELF when you get a grade you dont expect lol haha
#i cant take it anymore#i wont survive this school year#studyblr#study blog#study motivation#studyspo#dark academia#literature#light academia#aesthetic
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tags: fluff(?); lyney x gender neutral reader; very vague spoilers for the motifs present in lyney’s story quest (no plot points spoiled)
there's a little bit of magic falling in love with lyney. every day he has a new trick to show you—a sprig of baby's breath miraculously tucked into your collar before you head out the door, an elegant watch magicked onto your wrist right before your disbelieving eyes. When you ask him what his secrets are, Lyney just laughs, like a bell in the light spring breeze, and kneels down to kiss your hand. "A magician has to keep some of his secrets, my love! After all, you already know a fair few of them." Oh, what a tease—just as silver tongued and charming as the first time you met. “Aw- please, Lyney, don’t you trust me with your truths?” You half smile and half pout, arranging your features into your best pleading expression, and you can see your great magician giving in.
"Ah, alright," and he's tapping his chin in mock thought, eyes twinkling, "since you asked so nicely, I suppose I can show you a couple more tricks, as an apology for my insincerity." Lyney winks, his serious act dropping in a flash, and you laugh as he pulls you towards the plush velvet couch. After he’s sure you’re comfortable, Lyney grows serious again, and you know the real show has begun. He pulls chocolates out of prop cards, bouquets from his hat, and, at your request, promises to pluck the stars from the sky to decorate your dreams, as a reminder of his love. His breezy solemnity makes you laugh, but you wouldn’t doubt Lyney’s word. It’s so easy to love him, and almost as easy to believe his magician’s world of dazzling stunts and marvelous tricks. But underneath all his glamorous charm and beyond the brilliant light of his performances, the hand that holds yours is quite warm, quite solid, and quite real. So too is his quiet admiration when you talk excitedly about your passions, and his eagerness to learn about your world. When you're together, there are no facades obscuring his earnest fondness for you—it’s one of the few truths of Lyney’s life. He hasn’t yet told you many things, but you don’t seem to mind as much as he expected. Smart as you are, you’ve already guessed at some of his secrets, yet you still place in him all your faith, all of your affection. Someday, maybe he can also learn to give himself wholly—without reservation. After all, you are one of his unwavering truths, and him? He’s your fantastical, wondrous everyday magic.
#teyvat posts#apologies in advance if i messed up some formatting or some shit idk how x readers are supposed to be formatted lmfao#blacked out and wrote this in some kind of fever dream (jk) after his story q#all bc i wanted to use this one line that i cant even remember anymore#this is fortunately or unfortunately a one time event I just went a little crazy after his quest yes#anyways go play it rn !! hes so ahfkjdskfjkds i want to study him like a bug. give him a nice little terrarium.#genshin x reader#x reader#lyney x reader#lyney#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#lyney x you#4.0 spoilers
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old drawings i found and enjoyed while looking for something else
#a doodley#i dont know what happened. some of these are from so little ago and i cant do em anymore#i used to take full color full body couple comms now i cant even draw oc self ship interactions anymore.#granted the comms werent that good either but ykwim i cant even do it for leisure anymore#and its also so weird when i look at my old stuff that i always have like. non linear improvement. it rises and falls all the time#thats not good! why cant i Keep what i learn! and why does Learning make my art worse when im trying to make it better....#its crazy seeing how well i could draw faces (sometimes) before i started studying faces. now they rarely look as good.#alas. once again i feel im the result of a non artist forcing their way to it ykwim#an equivalent of a land mammal trying to live underwater
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