#i cant stop thinking about the differences

[highway-143]

baby take my hand - nishimura riki

genre: smut, fluff

pairing: nishimura riki x fem reader

warnings: loss of virginity, unprotected sex, fingering, pain, etc.

summary: your relationship with riki has always been amazing, but youre finally ready to take it to the next level.

song: connected (bang chan) - stray kids

(proofread)

"riki stop!" you giggle as your boyfriend tickles your stomach. a movie played loudly in the background, drowning out both of your laughter. your arms and legs flailed around riki as he continued to tackle you into the couch, his hands running around your abdomen

"i cant!" his bright smile shows itself in the dim light of his living room, making your heart flutter. "youre just too adorable!" he chuckles and finally takes his fingers off of you. you admittedly miss his touch, but thankfully he lies next to you, pulling you in his arms to close the gap between his chest and your back.

"you smell good," he says, his lips against your neck muffling his voice. "i could smell you forever"

you blush and lace your fingers through his, your intertwined hands pressed against your stomach, holding your bodies close together

riki loved being close to you. cuddling, holding hands, and soft kisses were frequent when the two of you spent time together. you were practically inseperable at this point.

you loved riki so much, it felt like a physical pain in your chest to be away from him for too long. he was the most precious piece of your heart now. nothing in the world could change that

so now you began to think. about sex. a lot.

you havent had that... discussion... with him yet, its always been a little too embarrassing and nerve wracking to bring up.

but you couldnt deny the steady feeling of emptiness between your legs, especially at times when he held you this close. you were getting more and more ready to jump that next hurdle, with his hand holding yours along the way.

"ki?" you ask, rubbing circles over his knuckles with your thumbs

"hmm?" he hums against your neck

"can we talk?"

"whats up babe?" he sits up and pulls you so you are facing eachother, cross legged and still on the couch.

you squint your eyes and clench your fists, very nervous. "i want to have sex with you."

he stares at you in shock. his eyebrows furrow adorably, and his lips slowly form a smirk.

"you want to.... let me finally fuck you? for real?"

"yes i-"

before you can finish he pounces on you, pinning you under him. "ive been waiting for you, babe" he whispers sultrily in your ear. " you dont know how long ive wanted this"

your face flushes under his intense gaze. "if id known i would have said so sooner, im so-"

"ah! dont be sorry. not even for a second. i want you to be ready when you are ready, not when you want to appease me because my dick is hard."

if its even possible, your face reddens further. he lets out a sexy laugh at your embarrassment. "what, do you think thats weird?"

"no, its just different... i dont know what to do or how to do it well, and im nervous, ki"

"dont be nervous, babe. you know its both of our first times. you dont need to be embarrassed with me. especially not with me"

"thanks, baby"

you wring your hands and look around the room. nothing seems right. its too bright, too cramped, too quiet, even with the movie in the background. the silence between you and riki is deafening.

"so did you just say that in general or do you want to do it now?" he teases, a wide grin forming on his insanely kissable lips.

you slap his arm. "yeah i mean now, i just dont really know what to do." you cast your gaze downward, looking at the hem of your shorts that was being rumpled in your fingers.

"then lets find out together." riki grabs your hands in his and pulls you off the couch, guiding you down the hallway of his small apartment.

when you reach his room, he puts you on the bed, shutting the door and turning off the lights. the faint glow of dusk seeps through his windows and spills into the bedroom, lighting the room in a romantic haze that has your senses on high alert. every slight motion has you on edge, anticipation rising as riki steps closer and closer to you.

"what do you want to do?" he asks, eyes softly gazing into yours, looking for any response

"i... god this is so embarrassing!" you bury your face in your hands, and riki chuckles in amusement.

"babe, look at me. please." he pulls your hands down by your wrists, bringing your gaze to him. "this isnt about being perfect. or looking perfect. its going to be sloppy, its going to be hard. but i know that we can both take it, and that we will love each other no matter what. right?"

you nod your head slowly, tears threatening to fall onto your cheeks.

"words, please" riki begs from his kneeling position below you

"right"

he smiles "okay. so where do you want to start?"

"i... i guess we should maybe take off our clothes?"

"probably a good idea"

you both start removing your clothing. your hands tremble under your fingers as you pull your shirt over your head.

and although you cant see it, riki's are too. he nervously pulls his pants down, hands shaking like he had roo much coffee.

you and riki take eachother in. your whole body heats up as his gaze trails over your bare skin. it felt so irregular. nobody has ever viewed your body this way. you stare at riki's gorgeous abs, slowly making your way to his cock.

it was half hard, not fully aroused, yet still bigger than what you thought it would be. you worry how youre supposed to fit him in you. but damn, it was just to beautiful. the tip was a pinkish color, and you could just make out a vein traveling down his shaft, dissapearing into his pelvis.

"holy shit, youre beautiful." riki says, jaw dropped as he rakes his eyes over your insecurities. you dont mind your body, but hell, you couldnt ignore the curve of your stomach, or thickness of your thighs. you use your hands to cover your stomach, but riki mives them away.

"dont you dare try and cover yourself. you are absolutely gorgeous. do you hear me?" his voice is practically a growl as he tuggs your wrists

"oky, ki." you say, smiling up at him.

he takes your lips in a soft kiss, pulling your face to his by cupping his hands on your cheeks.

"i love you so much" you say, pulling back to look at him

"i love you more" he whispers into the darkness. "what do you want next?"

"no, its your turn to choose what we do," you try to be teasing, but only feel nervousness

"well lets get on the bed. go put your head on the pillows." he points to the empty bed behind you.

when you are settled, riki climbs over you and places soft kisses on your face, caressing your hot skin with his lips as his sturdy arms hold himself up above you. you let him kiss his way down to your neck, slowly sucking on the skin near your collarbone as you wrapped your arms around his back.

he pulls away and kneels at your waist, looking at you for any sign of regret.

"are you ready?" he searches your eyes for uncertainty, but you nod in approval

"words"

"yes," you breathe

he pulls himself in between your legs and spreads them wide, getting a perfectly unobscured view of your glistening pussy

"already wet for me babe?" his eyes dialate from pure enjoyment. "and i havent even touched you yet"

"please," you scoff, "you know what youve done"

"mmm" he moans as he slowly aligns his tip with your entrance "are you ready?"

you gab his wrist and grip his hand tightly. "lets do it ki." you grit your teeth an he slowly pushes his tip onto your opening, only for it to slide up, refusing to enter.

you moan from the friction of his dick rubbing your cunt. he chuckles and pushes back do your entrance, even slower in entry this time.

but again, he slides right out.

every time he tries to breach your walls, they tighten and refuse to let him in. by the eleventh time, riki groans in pain. his cock now fully hard and throbbing in need, and his tip is coated in a smeared mixture of your combined pre-cum

you lay back, squeezing his hand as if its your life force as tears begin to fall down your cheeks. "i... i cant do it, ki" you sob. "its too big, i cant do it.... i cant do it..."

your tears paint trails on your face while riki squeezes your hand even harder. "you can, baby. i know you can. do you want me to try and stretch you out?"

you nod and choke back another sob, pulling yourself together.

this time, riki doesnt ask for words. he sees how distressed you are, and places a kiss on your hand, still held in his.

his free hand works its way between your thighs, finding your entrance. he smoothly slides one finger in, rubbing it along your gummy walls as he stretches your hole further. he slides a second finger in. then a third. and a fourth

your cunt burns from the pressure as his fingers glide inside you, not with the intent to pleasure, no. that was for his dick tonight.

riki removes his fingers, bringing them to his mouth as he moves his cock back to where he was before.

you stare at him, completely in shock, as he slurps your juices off of his own digits, a slutty smile curving the corners of his lips as he sucked on the sweet liquid

when he pulls his hand out of his mouth and back to its guiding position at his dick, you ready yourself, holding his hand tightly.

he spreads your legs as wide as they can go and finally shoves his tip into your pussy.

you gasp at the stretch. it was definetly more than his fingers, but fuck, it felt like heaven once the stinging subsided

riki moaned in joy as your core squeezed him nicely. "oh fuck, babe, thats fucking tight"

he slowly pushes deeper and deeper into you until he cant go any further. only 2/3 of his length fit inside of you, but it fit in you perfectly.

"baby, you are fucking wonderful. im so proud of you" he says, giving your hand a faint squeeze "do you want to see if we can fit the rest of me in?"

your eyes look wild at his words, darting from his face to what you can see of his abdomen.

"you... you meant thats not it?" you ask, ready to cry again. "i dont think i can"

"thats okay baby, youre doing wonderful" riki takes your other hand and squeezes both "this feels fucking perfect"

"im sorry, ki" you say, the tears that were being held back slowly falling down your cheeks now "im sorry i cant take all of you. i want to take all of you, i do, but its so much"

he looks down at you with soft eyes. "how about we try something else?"

you nod again, and riki slowly pulls out of you and picks you up. he flips over so you are straddling his waist, and he is where you were

"now try," he says, helping you position yourself on him.

you slide his dick into you, sinking down on it inch by inch until you finally have all of it inside.

you and riki grin in satisfaction as you settle down onto his pelvis, but that doesnt last long. he smoothly flips you back to where you were before, only now he is buried fully inside your aching core

"do you want me to move?" he asks, gripping your hand again

"fuck yes. please go"

riki starts pulling out, then thrusting back in. his motions start out lazy and slow, wanting you to feel pleasure instead of pain.

"faster, ki. i can take it"

he immediately quickens his pace, his hips slapping hard against your ass. his hand grips your thigh, leaving marks on the skin as he held you open

his other hand still held yours. you squeezed it as you felt his dick pounding deeper and deeper inside of you, making you see white

"shit, baby... im- im gonna cum" riki groans, his head hands limply off his shoulders, the tips of his hair slightly ticking your stomach

"then- ah- do it ki, cum in m- me"

your body shudders as you feel your orgasm building up, the band threatening to break while riki thrusted hastily into you

he holds your thigh tighter as orgasm takes over, thick jets of cum spilling into your cunt, filling up what little space you had left

your body snaps from the feeling of being so full, twitching and clenching with riki as you both rode the high, hand in hand.

riki slumps next to you, pulling his dick out. it left you with an emty feeling, but he pulled you closer to his chest to make up for it.

that didnt last long though. he immediately shot up and walked into the bathroom, only giving you a "stay there" to go on

he walked back out, his boxers back on, with a towel in his hand. he pressed the cool cloth to your forehead, slowly working it over your body until it cleaned everything, even the dripping mess between your legs

he tosses the fabric away and lays back down, pulling your back to his chest and wrapping his arms around you again. you take his hands, whispering into the darkness of his bedroom

"ill hold you forever" you say

"and i will hold you longer"

a.n.- dear god im crying. this was so sweet to write. riki is def the type of bf who isnt afraid to tease but fs knows what he needs to do to make you feel good. but now my heart is hurting bc man, i need this boy in my life like right now. okay time to put me back in my cage before i say smth more out of pocket

please reblog if you liked it, and comment with ideas bc i need more XD

[mminghaos]

pink in the night , yoon jeonghan x f!reader

“and i know i’ve kissed you before, but i didn’t do it right”

SYNOPSIS: jeonghan shows up at your door months after the both of you ended things, and despite everything that’s happened, you cant help but give in.

WARNINGS: smut, oral (f!receiving), angst

requests open, do send some in !!

jeonghan shouldn’t be here, really.

and you shouldn’t be standing here, staring at him like you don’t know exactly how this ends.

but you don’t close the door.

he’s watching you, hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie, hair messy like he ran his fingers through it a hundred times before knocking. you hate that he still looks good like this — casual, effortless, like he didnt wreck you months ago and then leave you to pick up the pieces alone.

“what do you want?” your voice is sharper than you mean for it to be, but you dont take it back.

he shrugs, like this isn’t a big deal, like he’s just passing through. “just wanted to see you.”

your fingers curl tighter around the door. that’s the problem, isn’t it? jeonghan always does what he wants. shows up when it’s convenient for him. says things that get under your skin, waits for you to react, waits for you to break first.

not this time.

“you shouldn’t be here,” you tell him.

“i know,” he says. and yet, he still doesn’t leave.

you hate him for this. for making you stand in the doorway of your own apartment, pulse too quick, mind too slow. for making it so goddamn hard to look at him and remember why you let him go in the first place.

this is fucked up. things ended months ago. you should have shut the door in his face. he played with your feelings like they were nothing, kissed you like you were nothing. and now he expects you to forgive him just like that?

but then he exhales, slow, careful, and his voice drops into something softer. “i should’ve done stuff differently.” he says, taking a step closer “i had my chance and i fucked up.”

you scoff before you can stop yourself. “seriously?”

“i mean it,” he murmurs, tilting his head, studying you like he’s trying to figure out what you’ll do next. “you don’t think about it?”

you shouldn’t. but of course you do.

it’s what pisses you off the most. that even after everything, there are nights you still feel the ghost of his hands on you, his lips at your throat, his voice in your ear. that you still remember exactly how he felt between your legs and how you woke up to him besides you in the mornings.

but that’s not enough. it was never enough.

“not my problem,” you say, but your voice isn’t as steady as it should be.

he catches it, of course he does. jeonghan knows you too well, knows how to read between the lines, knows how to press at your weak spots until you let him in.

his fingers brush against your wrist — barely a touch, but it sends something sharp and electric up your spine. your stomach twists. he’s always been good at this.

you should tell him to leave.

but then his other hand finds your waist, and your breath catches, and you realize you don’t move away.

this is a mistake.

jeonghan leans in, slow, like he’s giving you time to stop him. his lips are close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath, and your body betrays you, leaning just the slightest bit forward.

his lips barely graze yours before you turn your head, his mouth landing on your cheek instead.

“you don’t deserve that,” you whisper.

his forehead drops against yours, and he exhales, his hands flexing against your skin.

“i know.”

his voice is so quiet, too quiet. too good.

your fingers hover over his chest. they shouldn’t. but he’s warm, and close, and familiar in all the ways that make your head spin.

“just once,” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper. “let me get it right.”

you should say no.

but you don’t.

his lips don’t press to yours right away. he waits, forehead still resting against yours, his hands unmoving at your waist like he’s giving you the chance to stop this. to step back and slam the door in his face like you should have the second you saw him standing there.

but you don’t move.

and neither does he.

his fingers tighten slightly, barely gripping, barely holding. like he’s afraid he’ll push too far and youll disappear. you should make him beg for it, should make him suffer the way you did when he walked away the first time, but the way he’s looking at you — soft, unreadable, too much — makes your chest ache.

“tell me to go,” he murmurs. “i will.”

your breath catches, throat tight, because he says it like he means it. like he’ll actually leave if you tell him to.

but that’s the problem, isn’t it? you don’t want him to.

you should. god, you should.

but instead, your fingers tighten in the front of his hoodie, tugging just slightly, and that’s all it takes.

he exhales shakily, barely a breath before his lips finally, finally press to yours.

and it’s everything you remember. warm, familiar, intoxicating in the way that makes your head spin. his hands slide up, fingertips pressing just hard enough to remind you that he’s here, that you’re letting him do this, that you should stop before it goes too far.

but you don’t.

because the second his tongue brushes against your lower lip, you part for him, and then you’re really kissing him — deep and slow and desperate, like trying to erase the last few months .

jeonghan groans softly into your mouth, his hands sliding lower, gripping your hips like he needs you closer, like he’s scared you’ll slip through his fingers if he doesn’t hold tight enough. and maybe that should scare you, how easily you let him in, how easily you forget why you told yourself this would never happen again.

but then he’s walking you backward, guiding you towards your bedroom, and the second the door clicks shut behind him, it doesn’t matter anymore.

your back meets the bedroom wall with a quiet thud, and jeonghan takes the chance to press closer, caging you in. his hands are everywhere — sliding up your sides, skimming over your ribs, gripping just hard enough to make your breath hitch.

his lips don’t leave yours, moving slow, deep, like he’s savoring this, like he’s making sure you feel every second of it.

and you do.

your fingers twist in the fabric of his hoodie, pulling him closer, because no matter how much you hate this, hate him for still having this hold on you, it’s been months. months of pretending, months of acting like you don’t still crave him in the worst way.

his hands slide lower, palms hot against your bare skin as they dip under your shirt, and you shiver, arching into him before you can stop yourself. his lips curl against yours, and you hate the way he knows exactly what that means.

“still so sensitive,” he murmurs, dragging his mouth down to your jaw, then lower, lips ghosting over the column of your throat.

you swallow hard, tilting your head back against the wall, fingers curling against his chest. “shut up.”

he huffs a quiet laugh against your skin, but he doesn’t push — doesn’t gloat like you expect him to. instead, his hands skim up your sides again, slow, careful, like he’s feeling his way through this.

like he knows he doesn’t get to fuck this up a second time.

you should tell him to stop. should shove him back and remind him that this means nothing.

but when his teeth scrape against your pulse point, your breath stutters, and your nails press into his shoulders.

this is a mistake.

then he’s tugging your shirt higher, fingertips ghosting over your ribs, and your body betrays you all over again, pressing into him, wanting more.

jeonghan hums low in his throat, dragging his lips back up to yours.

“tell me to stop.” he murmurs, just before he goes in to kiss you again. “last chance to tell me to leave.”

and you don’t.

he guides you back to your bed, and it’s exactly as you remember. the soft creak of the mattress, the familiar scent of your sheets that’s somehow now mixed with his cologne. just the sight of him, standing over you, has that fluttering feeling in your stomach making its way up to your chest, catching your breath in a way you cant stop, no matter how much you try.

he leans over you, his lips brushing against your ear, murmuring, “let me make it up to you.” the words stir something deep inside, the kind of longing that you’ve tried so hard to bury.

you want to say no, so badly, the urge to push him off you, slam the door in his face, tell him to fuck off and never come back. but you don’t.

you can’t.

he’s too close. too fucking close. the warmth of his body next to yours makes it impossible to push him away.

and when his lips press against your neck, hot and soft, like a promise he doesn’t plan on keeping, you know that you should say something — anything — but you don’t.

you feel his fingers slip under the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down with practiced ease, and you don’t even have the energy to stop him. your hands curl into the sheets, your heart hammering in your chest. the last shred of resistance you had crumbles, and you’re left breathless beneath him.

he’s looking at you now, his gaze intense, searching your eyes like he’s trying to find something.

“focus,” he whispers, his voice low and coaxing, the softest it’s been in months. “are you sure? i don’t want you regretting anything like me.”

you try to summon some strength, to find some piece of you that remembers why this is such a terrible idea. you should push him away. you should stand your ground, tell him you’re not doing this.

but his voice — god, his voice, so quiet, so sincere — washes over you like a wave, and you feel yourself starting to slip. you exhale a shaky breath, your fingers clutching at the sheets like it might anchor you, but it doesn’t.

you tilt your head back against the pillow, closing your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your body.

“i’m sure,” you whisper, the words almost foreign on your tongue.

the moment you say it, you feel his mouth on you, his lips pressing softly at first, but then growing urgent, demanding as his hands slide down, holding your hips, guiding you towards him.

you lose track of everything — of the time, of the reason you told yourself you’d never go down this road with him again. his mouth is on your neck, then your chest, trailing down, his fingers already tracing the lines of your skin, the pads of them brushing so delicately against your stomach that your breath hitches.

you don’t know when your legs part, but they do, instinctively, welcoming him closer. his tongue dips between your legs, the warmth of it sending a jolt straight through you, and you can’t stop the gasp that escapes your lips.

your hands fly to his hair without thought, pulling him closer, urging him on, as his mouth works its way down, slow and deliberate, as if he’s savoring every inch of you. your breath comes faster, your heart pounding, and for a moment, everything else fades away.

all of it blurs until there’s nothing but him, the way he’s touching you, the way he knows exactly what to do.

his tongue flicks against your clit and swirls in slow, deliberate motions that make your legs twitch. the sensation has your body reacting before your mind can catch up, every nerve burning with heat. you can feel the coil tightening in your stomach, like it’s pulling you closer to the edge, and you curse yourself for getting so close so fast.

it’s embarrassing how easily he gets under your skin, how quickly he makes you lose control. the soft pressure of his mouth makes it impossible to think straight, to remember why you shouldn’t let this happen. every time he moves, his tongue tracing circles, flicking faster, slower, it makes your breath catch.

you want to say something — anything — to make him stop, but you dont find it in you to do so. it’s like he’s always known exactly what you need, and even if you try to push him away, he only pulls you deeper into this mess.

you hate to admit it, but you’ve missed him. you’ve missed this fucking idiot yoon jeonghan. missed his voice, his face, his scent, how he feels against you.

but you let go of the emotional shit for now just as his tongue prods at your entrance. his hands gripping your thighs, pulling you even closer. you can’t stop yourself from giving in.

“hannie—” you gasp, your voice weak, barely a whisper, and you let the nickname slip before you can stop yourself. he lifts his head up, his chin and mouth covered in your juices just as a low groan escapes from deep in his chest.

and just like that, you’re lost. you lose control. everything you thought you knew about what you wanted, what you needed, disappears in the rush of his touch, in the pull of his body, in the way he makes you forget how wrong this is.

and when he continues, each slow stroke of his tongue, each press of his mouth, you let yourself slip, even if you know its not a good idea.

the coil snaps.

your legs snap shut, pleasure coursing through your body. you can’t contain it, can’t hold back the wave crashing over you. every muscle in your body tightens, and your grip on jeonghan’s hair tightens along with them, pulling him even closer.

you come undone all over his face, trembling as you ride out your high. it feels like too much, like it’s going to swallow you whole, and yet, it’s exactly what you need. you don’t want to stop, don’t want this moment to end, even as the aftershocks make your body twitch with sensitivity.

he runs his hands over your hips, your thighs, your stomach, soothing you.

you’re left panting, flushed, and all you can focus on is him — how he’s holding you, how his mouth still lingers on your skin even after you’ve come undone.

“hmm, seems like my way of making it up to you is enough already, angel.”

[tarotbyjam24]

Describing you through poems

Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗

Disclaimer: this is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so 🕊️

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I'd love to hear your thoughts on this reading <33

Pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

Pile 1

A WALK

A meadow smiling in the sun,

Cows knee cleep in the stream, An elm tree waving in the wind, A silvery birch's gleam, A long white road, a rustic bridge, A brooklet gliding through, And with the sunlight on Your hair, Coming toward me-You.

DEATH

By Clarence E. Flynn

WHY do you fear me? I am your friend.

I but guide trav'lers Rounding the bend-Lead them to freedom From time and age, Help them start writing On a new page....

Seek for me never, Keep your course true-When I am needed In come to you, Then I will show you Roads without end-Why do you fear me? I am your friend.

Pile 2

i write when

i write when my heart gets too heavy to hold i write about my scars new and old. i write when i have a lot to share, but to hear it out, no one has time to spare. i write when i feel as lonely as one could be, when not tears, but the well dressed smile is what one could see.

i write when thoughts in my

mind begin to sink.

i write to share whatever i think.

i write, not with thr desire of being known, but to know the voice within my soul.

~bhoomika

I Sit Beside The Fire and Think by JRR Tolkien

I sit beside the fire and think Of all that I have seen Of meadow flowers and butterflies In summers that have been

Of yellow leaves and gossamer In autumns that there were With morning mist and silver sun And wind upon my hair

I sit beside the fire and think Of how the world will be When winter comes without a spring That I shall ever see

For still there are so many things That I have never seen In every wood in every spring There is a different green

I sit beside the fire and think Of people long ago And people that will see a world That I shall never know

But all the while I sit and think Of times there were before I listen for returning feet And voices at the door

Pile 3

Beauty

I like simple pleasures, Like wet hair & Clean sheets.. Pomegranate sourness, & the sweetness of ripe peach..

I like contradictions, Like rainbows after rain.. The glittering eyes of happiness, after days of pain..

A cup of hot tea, during a storm.. Living wildly and out of the norm.. I like good hearts, good art, the warmth of the sun.. The days you gave your self power, When you had none..

I like solitude, serenity, The thoughts in my mind.. And how in every tragic thing, Beauty I can find..

-Alethea Spark

Each of us are given a white canvas Some may be smaller than others. But the fact remains that it is pure, With not a single drop of colour.

As the days go by, the amount of strokes grow, With different colours and shapes. Some may be sharp and jagged And others smooth and clean.

You cant erase it or start over, But you can always cover it with a better strokes. You may even give up and want to stop at times, But you keep trying so desperately

And in the end, you can step back and look at what you have created And see that it was beautiful all along.

A masterpiece painted by you.

- C.

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀Bless you and have a nice day🌸🐰

Loads of love , jam\gem ✨

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[fairys-dream]

started watching severance..so…..obviously i had to make a serverance sabrevine au(those who Know know why)

major spoilers for the show, so all thoughts are hid safely under the cut👍

vic severs immeditely after logan breaks off their relationship. logan had started seeing silverfox, thinking she was a better influence on him. then about 3 months or so later, she mysteriously dies(its a gemma type situation). it doesnt take long for logan to sever too

department X. a newer 2 person department, victor c. working alongside david n. they spend a lotta time organizing military equipment, and theorize maybe theres an apocalyptic war going on topside. but overall, they dont really talk much. 3 months in, kayla s. joins their team. 5 months in, logan h. shows up as well. and he n vic IMMEDIATELY click.

innie vic n logan have a lot smoother of a time falling into a relationship, as well as managing it, due to their lack of memories making them unaware of the reasons for their own issues

they obviously still have reactions n thoughts similar to the shit their outies deal with, feeling deep self hatred while not really knowing why, but theyre easier to deal with due to the lack of context, and they end up helping eachother out with that mutual struggle of mysterious pain

and these guys are basically experiencing the most giddy First Puppy Love of their weird little innie existence. its sappy, its fun, office supplies is getting messed with as they tease eachother, theyre sneaking out to go on lil dates around the maze of their workplace, etc etc

so. the purpose of their department is actually to test replacement of an outies memories. first, outie logans memory of silverfox’s death is replaced with vic being the culprit. and overtime, regular arguments in their relationship gets replaced with more intense abuse, on both sides

their innies start getting flashes of it as a result of it being so early in testing. logan starts to back off from vic a bit, but vic tries to reassure him their outies are different. at somepoint, flashes of their actual relationship slip thru too, and its like having 2 sets of memories. logan cant tell which one to trust...but he decides to trust the vic infront of him, since his own outie seems a lot meaner too

meanwhile their outies are getting flashes of their innies relationship, logan being scared for his innies safety and vic praying that his innie is somehow nicer than he was(even tho in reality he wasnt ever really that bad)

vic catches on that somethings up when he gets a flash of silverfox, obviously still alive, and is over the fucking moon that he didnt actually kill her(which he was inclined to believe cuz he really did want to do it at the time). hes also kinda selfishly hoping that innie logan doesnt start anything with her and just sticks with innie vic this time

at somepoint logan just stops going into work for a couple days out of fear for his innie, and thats when outie vic seeks him out to attempt to explain the stuff hes gotten flashes of

while talking, logan suggests the idea that if theyre working on replacing memories, then maybe they could erase them too…his memories of existing the way his innie does, purely, without having fucked anything up in his life yet, seems a lot more healing than the way he feels now. vic agrees, but…that kinda thing seems like a slippery escapist slope. ‘it aint just about erasing yer past, yer trying to erase yerself aint ya?’ vic’d miss him if he did, even admittedly the bad bits

even with all the abusive memories in their brains, sitting next to eachother they felt something comfortable, something warm, something that made them both feel present in the moment

ig ideally it’d end with them getting the false memories flushed outta them and integrating with their innies, giving their relationship another shot

[dreamin4smth]

My favorite dynamic between Sonic and Tails is that Sonic is very much protective of him and would be overly upset if he thinks Tails might have been hurt, HOWEVER, I dont think Sonic would ever “bench“ Tails or like, try to prevent him from getting into dangerous situations.

Sonic’s whole shtick is that he is all about freedom, and even when he’s being overprotective big brother mode I just cant see him scolding Tails for getting hurt even IF its to keep the fox safe. He’d be worried up until he’s sure Tails is alright, but he wouldnt be angry AT Tails or try to limit his freedom afterwards. No matter how much he’d might want to, I just think it would go against alot of his morals and ideals about everyone having the freedom of choice. Its Tails choice to go into battle and Sonic respects that.

My favorite cup of unbreakable bond is when theyre equals despite their age difference and levels of responsability for each other. Sonic can be a guardian/parent/older brother all day, but despite that, I just love it when he still treats Tails as his own individual that isnt inherently tied to being his little brother. The big brother part is just a nice bonus and a necessasity concidering Tails age.

This headcanon could also create a few flaws in their relationship where Sonic’s wish to give Tails complete freedom does backfire a few times when, what Tails would have actually needed in the moment, was guidence and/or scolding. If you want to concider Tails lack of self-preservation, it could also lead to the fox being more willing to sacrifice himself and not getting the correct reprimends for it, which in turn wouldnt stop that behaviour no matter how bad it is. Still though, I just love when unbreakable bond has a clear respect for each other and where theyre on clear equal grounds. Neither has more authority than the other, its just a big pot of concern and the need to protect each other. In their own ways of course.

(my opinion do differs a bit depending on what age Tails would be. But this little paragraph mostly has canonical 8-year old Tails and older in mind.)

The panels that started this thought process^

(notice the tone shift in Sonic the moment he learns Tails alright. He immeadietly switches to praising Tails instead. 🦊 🦔)

[rizzoreads88]

You know what I love? Azriel didn’t have to go and save Gwyn from the blood Rite because he knew she could take care of herself. He trained her so he knew. He saved Elain because she was weak and defenseless and a damsel and sat in a tent and waited for someone to save her. And guess what Gwyn did in the Blood rite? Actually made an effort and helped and even stayed up in the tree. That was her SPYING!!!!!!! Who’s to say Azriel didn’t give her any tips during the time he went over dagger handling? Gave her tips on how to spy? It’s great foreshadowing from S.J.M!!

And I cant wait for Azriel to gift Gwyn a dagger so she can name it Silver Majesty. S.J.M gave us that for a reason. At least she’ll accep it. Unlike Elain who gave back TruthTelller. Gwyn sees Azriel’s love for daggers and it is seen in the bonus. “A comfort for every growing child.” I can’t wait for them to have a child (this was foreshadowed with the above line) and they can have bad ass warrior parents.

The next book is taking forever because S.J.M got bored writing Elain’s book so she has changed it to Gwynriel. I can’t wait for their endgame and for the rest of the Elriels to finally leave our space. Gwynriels have been here longer. It’s time for others to go now who can’t accept Gwynriel is endgame.

I don’t like people pinning Gwyn and Elain against each other but since you wanted to come in my anons doing so let’s go through all your points from canon. Both Gwyn and Elain are great characters and are strong in different ways. But now that I’ve read your fanon theories let me respond with some canon.

whether Azriel believes in Gwyns abilities or not that man cared more about his enemy Eris than when she was drugged and kidnapped by multiple men…. Is that how mates act? not according to Ruhn!

Ruhn glared at her as Hunt continued to glow and menace. It means that he’s going ballistic in the way that only mates can when the other is threatened. It’s what happened then, and what’s happening now.

Azriel may not have been able to go to the blood rite but that wouldn’t have stopped him from showing emotion around his friends if he actually cared anough to. In acowar we see azriel is full of rage and is the first to notice Elain was taken. So he will show emotion like that over Elain but not his supposed mate? lol …...it’s funny you guys try to talk around azriel not really reacting to gwyn being kidnapped to the blood right by saying “it’s bc he knew she could handle herself!” Yet cassian was there and knew Nesta could handle herself and he was still freaking out. Cassian still showed concern over Emerie and Gwyn too.

“Gwyn was spying”. So I guess everyone in the blood rite are spys now?! It’s funny Emerie and Nesta watched their enemies at times too but no one credits them to being a spy. You guys can try and claim Gwyn is a spy blahhhh but SJM doesn’t compare Gwyn to any spy tactics at all in the books. But ya know who she does? Elain. You know who they wonder if azriel is training w spy techniques? Elain lol

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.”

“Elain was again at my side. I hadn’t heard her steps. Hadn’t heard any sound for moments.”

“Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him”

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

You know who’s good at keeping secrets like a spy does… Elain. You know who’s not? Gwyn lol Nesta tells Gwyn how they are looking for the trove and not tell anyone at all and what does Gwyn do? Tells Merrill

“At least gwyn would keep the dagger” In Acowar Azriel never gave Elain his dagger to keep. He lent it to her. For a side that screams Elriels have no reading comprehension I would think you’de understand this by now… the I won’t be using it today line means she can use it FOR THE DAY not keep it. So of course she gives it back after she’s done w it.

“This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.”

The emphasis SJM puts on the truth teller scene is that Azriel has never let anyone else touch it ever and he still lends it to Elain.

Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife.

It’s pretty telling how Azriel has been training Gwyn(and the other ladies) for months w daggers, has even had at least 1 private dagger lesson with Gwyn but hasn’t let her even touch truth teller ….. but sureeeee she’ll get silver majesty or gray bullet or whatever other name yall want to make for truth teller other than it’s actual name in the books.

“Elains weak Gwyn is stronger!!” First of all both ladies are bad ass. Yes Gwyn did some really cool things in the blood rite and helped fight to stay alive alongside Nesta and Emerie, but Elain killed a evil king.Fought Hybern beasts w her bare feet, and this is without any actual training. Elain has badass powers and has put them on to finding Vassa, the suriel during the war, and looking into Koschei. And let’s see what Azriel thinks of Elain.

Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. “The queen—with the feathers of flame.” The shadowsinger angled his head. Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?” “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

When everyone else thought there was something wrong with her and she was going crazy… Azriel was the one who knew she didn’t need anything. Azriel was the one to figure out she was a seer. Azriel was the one who realized they needed her.

I have no idea what your going on about in that last paragraph. I’m going to read whatever SJM writes because it’s not that serious. In fact most elriels say regardless of who ends up together they will continue reading the books. It’s a lot of the gwynr/els who post about how they won’t read a Elriel book blah blah blah. But trying to say Gwynriels have been around longer? You’re funny w that one. Seeing how gwyn is only in 1 book yet elriel has been being foreshadowed since acomaf. There’s been elriels around since then.

[fdelopera]

I'm trying to find the quote about how Jews are painted with the worst sins a generation can imagine. That it used to be communism, now it's settler colonialism - but I cant find it anywhere! Do you know the one I'm talking about? I feel like you might know

Hi @counterpunches , thanks for your question. I believe you are thinking of the keynote speech by the great Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z''l that he delivered before the European Parliament in 2016.

Since Rabbi Sacks delivered his speech, of course, Europe, the UK, and Ireland have continued to descend into the chaos of their own self-destruction, of which Jew-hate is the first major symptom.

These goyishe freaks think they are just having "fun" celebrating Islamofascist terrorism, glorifying in the slaughter of Jews, and attacking the Jews in their own communities, but really these goyim are DIGGING THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Here is the video of Rabbi Sacks' speech. I've also provided the transcript below under a Read More, and I've bolded the sections that relate to your question.

I recommend that everyone listen to Rabbi Sacks' speech. Nearly 10 years after he delivered this speech, his words could not be more true:

If Europe lets itself be dragged down that road again, this will be the story told in times to come. First they came for the Jews. Then for the Christians. Then for the gays. Then for the atheists. Until there was nothing left of Europe’s soul but a distant, fading memory.

Today I have tried to give voice to those who have no voice. I have spoken on behalf of the murdered Roma, Sinti, gays, dissidents, the mentally and physically handicapped, and a million and a half Jewish children murdered because of their grandparents’ religion. In their name, I say to you: You know where the road ends. Don’t go down there again.

You are the leaders of Europe. Its future is in your hands. If you do nothing, Jews will leave, European liberty will die, and there will be a moral stain on Europe’s name that all eternity will not erase.

Stop it now, while there is still time.

Transcript of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks' z''l speech:

The hate that begins with Jews never ends with Jews. That is what I want us to understand today. It wasn’t Jews alone who suffered under Hitler. It wasn’t Jews alone who suffered under Stalin. It isn’t Jews alone who suffer under ISIS or Al Qaeda or Islamic Jihad. We make a great mistake if we think antisemitism is a threat only to Jews. It is a threat, first and foremost, to Europe and to the freedoms it took centuries to achieve.

Antisemitism is not about Jews. It is about antisemites. It is about people who cannot accept responsibility for their own failures and have instead to blame someone else. Historically, if you were a Christian at the time of the Crusades, or a German after the First World War, and saw that the world hadn’t turned out the way you believed it would, you blamed the Jews. That is what is happening today. And I cannot begin to say how dangerous it is. Not just to Jews but to everyone who values freedom, compassion and humanity.

The appearance of antisemitism in a culture is the first symptom of a disease, the early warning sign of collective breakdown. If Europe allows antisemitism to flourish, that will be the beginning of the end of Europe. And what I want to do in these brief remarks is simply to analyse a phenomenon full of vagueness and ambiguity, because we need precision and understanding to know what antisemitism is, why it happens, why antisemites are convinced that they are not antisemitic.

First let me define antisemitism. Not liking Jews is not antisemitism. We all have people we don’t like. That’s OK; that’s human; it isn’t dangerous. Second, criticising Israel is not antisemitism. I was recently talking to some schoolchildren and they asked me: is criticising Israel antisemitism? I said "No" and I explained the difference. I asked them, "Do you believe you have a right to criticise the British government?" They all put up their hands. Then I asked, "Which of you believes that Britain has no right to exist?" No one put up their hands. "Now you know the difference," I said, and they all did.

Antisemitism means denying the right of Jews to exist collectively as Jews with the same rights as everyone else. It takes different forms in different ages.

In the Middle Ages, Jews were hated because of their religion. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century they were hated because of their race. Today they are hated because of their nation state, the state of Israel. It takes different forms but it remains the same thing: the view that Jews have no right to exist as free and equal human beings.

If there is one thing I and my contemporaries did not expect, it was that antisemitism would reappear in Europe within living memory of the Holocaust. The reason we did not expect it was that Europe had undertaken the greatest collective effort in all of history to ensure that the virus of antisemitism would never again infect the body politic. It was a magnificent effort of antiracist legislation, Holocaust education and interfaith dialogue. Yet antisemitism has returned despite everything.

On 27 January 2000, representatives of 46 governments from around the world gathered in Stockholm to issue a collective declaration of Holocaust remembrance and the continuing fight against antisemitism, racism and prejudice. Then came 9/11, and within days conspiracy theories were flooding the internet claiming it was the work of Israel and its secret service, the Mossad. In April 2002, on Passover, I was in Florence with a Jewish couple from Paris when they received a phone call from their son, saying, “Mum, Dad, it’s time to leave France. It’s not safe for us here anymore.”

In May 2007, in a private meeting here in Brussels, I told the three leaders of Europe at the time, Angela Merkel, President of the European Council, Jose Manuel Barroso, President of the European Commission, and Hans-Gert Pöttering, President of the European Parliament, that the Jews of Europe were beginning to ask whether there was a future for Jews in Europe.

That was more than nine years ago. Since then, things have become worse. Already in 2013, before some of the worst incidents, the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights found that almost a third of Europe’s Jews were considering emigrating because of antisemitism. In France the figure was 46 percent; in Hungary 48 percent.

Let me ask you this. Whether you are Jewish or Christian, Muslim: would you stay in a country where you need armed police to guard you while you prayed? Where your children need armed guards to protect them at school? Where, if you wear a sign of your faith in public, you risk being abused or attacked? Where, when your children go to university, they are insulted and intimidated because of what is happening in some other part of the world? Where, when they present their own view of the situation they are howled down and silenced?

This is happening to Jews throughout Europe. In every single country of Europe, without exception, Jews are fearful for their or their children’s future. If this continues, Jews will continue to leave Europe, until, barring the frail and the elderly, Europe will finally have become Judenrein.

How did this happen? It happened the way viruses always defeat the human immune system, namely, by mutating. The new antisemitism is different from the old antisemitism, in three ways. I’ve already mentioned one. Once Jews were hated because of their religion. Then they were hated because of their race. Now they are hated because of their nation state. The second difference is that the epicentre of the old antisemitism was Europe. Today it’s the Middle East and it is communicated globally by the new electronic media.

The third is particularly disturbing. Let me explain.

It is easy to hate, but difficult publicly to justify hate. Throughout history, when people have sought to justify antisemitism, they have done so by recourse to the highest source of authority available within the culture. In the Middle Ages, it was religion. So we had religious anti-Judaism. In post-Enlightenment Europe it was science. So we had the twin foundations of Nazi ideology, Social Darwinism and the so-called Scientific Study of Race. Today the highest source of authority worldwide is human rights. That is why Israel—the only fully functioning democracy in the Middle East with a free press and independent judiciary—is regularly accused of the five cardinal sins against human rights: racism, apartheid, crimes against humanity, ethnic cleansing and attempted genocide.

The new antisemitism has mutated so that any practitioner of it can deny that he or she is an antisemite. After all, they’ll say, I’m not a racist. I have no problem with Jews or Judaism. I only have a problem with the State of Israel. But in a world of 56 Muslim nations and 103 Christian ones, there is only one Jewish state, Israel, which constitutes one-quarter of one per cent of the land mass of the Middle East. Israel is the only one of the 193 member nations of the United Nations that has its right to exist regularly challenged, with one state, Iran, and many, many other groups, committed to its destruction.

Antisemitism means denying the right of Jews to exist as Jews with the same rights as everyone else. The form this takes today is anti-Zionism. Of course, there is a difference between Zionism and Judaism, and between Jews and Israelis, but this difference does not exist for the new antisemites themselves. It was Jews not Israelis who were murdered in terrorist attacks in Toulouse, Paris, Brussels and Copenhagen.

Anti-Zionism is the antisemitism of our time.

In the Middle Ages Jews were accused of poisoning wells, spreading the plague, and killing Christian children to use their blood. In Nazi Germany they were accused of controlling both capitalist America and communist Russia. Today they are accused of running ISIS as well as America. All the old myths have been recycled, from the Blood Libel to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. The cartoons that flood the Middle East are clones of those published in Der Sturmer one of the primary vehicles of Nazi propaganda between 1923 and 1945.

The ultimate weapon of the new antisemitism is dazzling in its simplicity. It goes like this:

The Holocaust must never happen again. But Israelis are the new Nazis; the Palestinians are the new Jews; all Jews are Zionists. Therefore the real antisemites of our time are none other than the Jews themselves.

And these are not marginal views. They are widespread throughout the Muslim world, including communities in Europe, and they are slowly infecting the far left, the far right, academic circles, unions, and even some churches.

Having "cured" itself of the virus of antisemitism, Europe is being reinfected by parts of the world that never went through the self-reckoning that Europe undertook once the facts of the Holocaust became known.

How do such absurdities come to be believed? This is a vast and complex subject, and I have written a book about it, but the simplest explanation is this. When bad things happen to a group, its members can ask one of two questions: “What did we do wrong?” or “Who did this to us?” The entire fate of the group will depend on which it chooses.

If it asks, “What did we do wrong?” it has begun the self-criticism essential to a free society. If it asks, “Who did this to us?” it has defined itself as a victim. It will then seek a scapegoat to blame for all its problems. Classically this has been the Jews.

Antisemitism is a form of cognitive failure, and it happens when groups feel that their world is spinning out of control.

It began in the Middle Ages, when Christians saw that Islam had defeated them in places they regarded as their own, especially Jerusalem. That was when, in 1096, on their way to the Holy Land, the Crusaders stopped first to massacre Jewish communities in Northern Europe. It was born in the Middle East in the 1920s with the collapse of the Ottoman Empire. Antisemitism re-emerged in Europe in the 1870s during a period of economic recession and resurgent nationalism. And it is re-appearing in Europe now for the same reasons: recession, nationalism, and a backlash against immigrants and other minorities. Antisemitism happens when the politics of hope gives way to the politics of fear, which quickly becomes the politics of hate.

This then reduces complex problems to simplicities. It divides the world into black and white, seeing all the fault on one side and all the victimhood on the other. It singles out one group among a hundred offenders for the blame. The argument is always the same. We are innocent; they are guilty. It follows that if we are to be free, they, the Jews or the state of Israel, must be destroyed. That is how the great crimes begin.

Jews were hated because they were different. They were the most conspicuous non-Christian minority in a Christian Europe. Today they are the most conspicuous non-Muslim presence in an Islamic Middle East.

Antisemitism has always been about the inability of a group to make space for difference. No group that adopts it will ever, can ever, create a free society.

So I end where I began:

The hate that begins with Jews never ends with Jews. Antisemitism is only secondarily about Jews. Primarily it is about the failure of groups to accept responsibility for their own failures, and to build their own future by their own endeavours. No society that has fostered antisemitism has ever sustained liberty or human rights or religious freedom. Every society driven by hate begins by seeking to destroy its enemies, but ends by destroying itself.

Europe today is not fundamentally antisemitic. But it has allowed antisemitism to enter via the new electronic media. It has failed to recognise that the new antisemitism is different from the old. We are not today back in the 1930s. But we are coming close to 1879, when Wilhelm Marr founded the League of Anti-Semites in Germany; to 1886 when Édouard Drumont published La France Juive; and 1897 when Karl Lueger became Mayor of Vienna. These were key moments in the spread of antisemitism, and all we have to do today is to remember that what was said then about Jews is being said today about the Jewish state.

The history of Jews in Europe has not always been a happy one. Europe’s treatment of the Jews added certain words to the human vocabulary: disputation, forced conversion, inquisition, expulsion, auto da fe, ghetto, pogrom and Holocaust, words written in Jewish tears and Jewish blood. Yet for all that, Jews loved Europe and contributed to it some of its greatest scientists, writers, academics, musicians, shapers of the modern mind.

If Europe lets itself be dragged down that road again, this will be the story told in times to come. First they came for the Jews. Then for the Christians. Then for the gays. Then for the atheists. Until there was nothing left of Europe’s soul but a distant, fading memory.

Today I have tried to give voice to those who have no voice. I have spoken on behalf of the murdered Roma, Sinti, gays, dissidents, the mentally and physically handicapped, and a million and a half Jewish children murdered because of their grandparents’ religion. In their name, I say to you: You know where the road ends. Don’t go down there again.

You are the leaders of Europe. Its future is in your hands. If you do nothing, Jews will leave, European liberty will die, and there will be a moral stain on Europe’s name that all eternity will not erase.

Stop it now, while there is still time.

[vellixor]

I keep hearing about these mystery-esque shows where the show writers/producers would make fun of their fans for theorizing too much and looking too deeply into the story.

And here is Gravity Falls, a show full of codes, key codes found in freeze frames. Instead of mocking the fans, the show rewards those who dig deeply. And, as a final thanks, the creator even created a scavenger hunt for it's most dedicated fans.

[fayewoodss]

The reason I made this post was because after multiple people spoke to you asking you to leave all of us alone, you continued posting about us and crossing our boundaries while expecting us to respect yours. I don't speak for Vera, she isn't even on Tumblr anymore, but the links I included mentioning her or about her also included generalization and vague mentions to the people friends with Vera and surrounding Vera. Many of those posts were made after the inciting event of the controversy of my art. So let me get into it as well:

7. "all ive gotten from this is 1. theyre still talking about it in discord and tumblr while simultaneously saying that u should stop talking about it 2. theyre victim complex is so bad they cant seem to decipher whats real or not 3. theyre still stalking ur blog and talking about 2 anons that r riding u and 2 blogs who keep liking ur posts 4. none of them know how to move on" (anon)

call me the sun the way i’m at the center of everyone’s universe (mar)

Yes, this is a post about Vera, but includes reference to the group of friends talking to Vera. This happened when my art was still up for debate and there were still eyes on my blog and anons in my askbox that I was deleting and trying to avoid.

9. "I’m glad i wasn’t there for them defending drawing the right to draw dream fat or whatever they did" (anon)

‘just wait until mar stalks my posts and posts about how she hates this art!’ so like do you got a rolodex of my opinions on everything because i’m just repeating what i’ve already said about wolfylyn’s art about another artist that’s like giggling at predicting someone saying the sun is bright (mar)

This is a direct response to Vera defending me and, yes, while you are talking about your opinion on Wolflyn's art, you are clearly stating that you are doing this again to a new artist, me. Again, note the date and how even if this was a conversation about Vera, it was in response to the drama following my art.

10. "it is such a big problem all her friends have to join in and start talking about it :( oh but what about the "dogpiling" nen received and how vera hated every ounce of it but its ok once its mar right? mar cant express opinions without getting shit talked in a private discord and theyre the ones who r dragging this out for no reason but mar the bad guy okay" (anon)

mind you this started with me saying we should draw dream how he actually looks on my own blog then the clown brigade had to come in with how they think it’s sooo funny how they predicted me bringing up something i’ve already talked about having an issue with before? i know it’s a foreign concept but the world doesn’t revolve around vera i saw the art on my mainblr account and wanted to talk about it here so like congrats? you dug your own grave? (mar)

Your response to this ask started with a direct response to me and my art. Again, not only about Vera.

11. can’t even comment on art you don’t like without someone turning into a big 3-day ethical dilemma with about ten different side plots. because of woke. (mar)

Reference to me and my art. I know you say this is simply referencing the "catalyst" and "context" of all this, but you yourself admitted that your issues with Vera at the time were separate from the art. If this was truly about Vera, there would've been no reason to mention me. And even then adding that context alludes to me.

12. she’s not other blogs she doesn’t like doing this how admirable what do you want a purple heart or a sticker or something for also engaging in fandom wank but in a more ‘respectable’ way i’m trying to gauge how we should be adequately extolling your virtues here (mar)

The initial reason I thought this was about me was because it was posted immediately after I made a post about how upset I was with the anons I was getting and the unnecessary hate, not critique, hate I was receiving. In my post I mentioned planning on deleting a lot of the anons, especially ones where I tried to use humor to deflect strawman arguments, so when that post was shared with me I assumed it was mocking me as if I were acting from a high horse. I've since deleted that posts and a lot of the asks I received during that time.

This was my mistake in perception.

15. "i brought up a point to her about how she sat and defended nen for having an opinion which was straight up invalidating dreams sexuality but she finds a problem with u expressing ur opinion on artwork that is genuinely weird and now she wants to say "im not responding to u" like ok! i see where ur head is at now 😅 it was never about real problems and finding issues with stuff its plain old favoritism" (anon)

guys remember opinions are opinions and valid unless i’m the one expressing them it gives me +1 fandom oppression points i also get one for being the only drolo here do you feel bad for me please do (mar)

About Vera, references my art.

16. "I feel insane because Dream is skinny he's just broad but he's skinny like being broad doesn't cancel out skinny" (anon)

every other week someone sees a new picture of him and is literally terrified that he’s wasting away like that’s how skinny he looks sometimes broad is big but not big the way you’re drawing him (mar)

Universal "you" or not, this was still posted on the same day the drama took place and my ask box was flooded for nearly 10 hours straight. I still think this point stands as a reference to me because it is not removed from the context of the drama because the context is me and my art.

17. post

I reacted negatively to this one because of the situation and the context, but I agree that it shouldn't be included now.

18. can i cry bullying because it’s them and their entire friend group ‘harassing’ little old me (mar)

Once again, about Vera but a reference to the group surrounding her, including me and the inciting drama at this time. You were still actively checking my blog and my activity at that time, as well as the other people surrounding Vera.

19. and 23.

You deleted these after I made my post. They were still up for four months. I did not get screenshots to display the content of the posts and with how much I had to search through, I cannot remember them off the top of my head, but they were included for a reason and clearly deleted before your response.

33. reading people now having to reluctantly concede dream some grace because of that reddit post because they couldn’t figure out on their own or remember all the harassment that preceded this and put it into context themselves to understand that literally the entire point is there are a certain set of rules about everything and they always get rewritten so that they don’t apply to him and he can get attacked (mar)

#but even with that there’s the bizarre stipulations that he should’ve talked to someone before he posted that <3 like he’s some kind of#fucking child who shouldn’t be allowed to do anything himself gtfo#fandom wank (tags)

I included this because it was posted after a post I made gained traction and in my tags I mentioned how I think he should've spoken to somebody before posting any of this happened and I was the only one at the time having specifically said that publically.

35. post

I included this as it was a continued post about me, PT, and those surrounding us that have all asked you to stop posting and leave us out of it where you continued to post about this "super secret private situation that you couldn't talk about."

36. post

Same as previous.

37. post

I included this because "critique" has most commonly been used by you and other blogs in reference to my art, and the general mocking of people within this group. Prev applies.

38. post

I don't know what exactly you and PT talked about and I do not speak for PT, but in our own group there was a lot of discussion about the discomfort and grief caused by behavior and posts that seemed to target all of PT's close friends. This wasn't a case of us rallying PT to stand up to you and break ties, but PT expressing their own discomfort and unsure how to go about it. Even after they expressed their discomfort, you continued the very same behavior that upset them, disrespecting that conversation while expecting them to uphold that respect/boundary for you.

You do not know the full scope of my engagement in this fandom or any of that matter. I don't know what makes you think that I would otherwise condemn the behavior of my friends if we had dissenting opinions. I share many dissenting opinions with my friends and there is content that I don't personally engage with from them. On top of that, most of the content I do engage with is headcanon related to rpf, fics, art, or screencaps. As far as engaging in certain spaces I "don't have the mindset for," I don't think this is a fair point because all of this started with crit blogs and anons coming into MY space, knowing MY content, and being aware of MY posts and discussions. I am always very open to discussion and new information or ideals, even if I don't fully agree with certain perspectives or issues. I don't think I have to be everyone's friend, and I don't think everyone has to be friends with me, but I try to treat people with respect and fairness until it becomes clear that there was no respect to be given to me. Why would I respect somebody that doesn't want to engage in good faith conversation and would rather insult me, even if we disagree?

The only issue I have had in this fandom has been with you and the way your blog has stoked flames against me and my friends. The very first ask I got about the drama with my art was "Now why is Dreamie fat," which is not a conversation starter that seems open to discussion, so it immediately raised red flags as veering into a bad faith discussion, so I responded very tongue and cheek both in post and tags. Immediately, I followed this up with a sincere and neutral explanation of the au and my intentions with this art. I also received this ask that opened with "The fact that one embraces being overweight is amazing..." which comes off backhanded with the use of a medical term in a conversation about body neutrality/positivity. I explain this in the post while also giving benefit of the doubt, recognizing and validating the concern, but standing by the art and beliefs I believe to be true. There are several other posts I kept up from that time that, once again, show how I validate, understand, and agree with some of the opposing opinions and critiques.

I don't know how you want me to personally respond about whatever happened on critblr. I didn't see it. I wasn't a part of it. But you've lumped me in with a group you have issue with and you've made that very clear. When I was dragged into this, not knowing who you were, I didn't feel like I was spared any offense and I can only speak to how my name has been dragged through all of this.

39. post

I included this post because historically you've lumped me in with this group despite me not being crit, and you've tracked my activity with and around blogs that are crit or crit-adjacent, PT's blog being one of them. Also I have been the only blog using "gautism" as a tag and actively discussing speculation around George and neurodivergency, so that's not so out of reach to believe it's related to me. You can look up the tag, or search any posts connecting George and autism, and you'll see it is almost completely me, with most posts that aren't mine being years old.

43. 44. 45. 46.

I included these for the same reasons I mentioned previously. I understand they aren't directly about/referencing me, yet all of these posts came right after my own direct discussions about George's possible neurodivergency. Once again, I am the leading blog talking about this topic and haven't seen others publicly commenting on this. My posts were directly referenced/quoted in 40 and 41, proving that you and your anons had to be actively surveying my blog, also the direct link to my blog. My blog was the diving point for this conversation and the points referenced in it.

So even going off of what you have presented, these posts, except the ones I have admitted to wrongly including upon retrospect, prove a pattern of actively tracking my blog and my activity, inciting and/or entertaining inflammatory conversation about me and my art, or discuss a situation/group that involves me and my connection to Vera. Even with what you've disproved and whatever percentages that relates to the rest of your blog, you've still made me a point of conversation and mockery, with little valid or fair criticism, in the last four months of me not interacting or engaging with you.

I blocked the two blogs of yours I knew existed and you still went through the time and effort to bypass my blocks to read through my blogs, including reading non-fandom related posts for one indirect mention of you being that I've only blocked one person. A post you had to scroll through 10-15 other posts to even find to then read through the tags. Even within the friend group, there were many instances where someone would post something and it would be posted onto you blog within the hour. Whether it's me, or someone adjacent to me, we've been a constant target of mockery on your blog, not criticism. You claim that the majority of this is about Vera and not me or anyone else in my group, but the fact is that you have posted about me continuously even without Vera even being on Tumblr anymore.

I have received criticism in the past that was fair. I received criticism for my spreadsheet on content statistics when I unintentionally left out Dream's Twitter Spaces and appearances. When I received backlash for that, I admitted my mistake, amended the spreadsheet, and allowed anons to help me fill in content I missed. I directly messaged with Hata about this and had a very respectful and fun conversation about the spreadsheet and fandoms. I love critique and criticism that promotes constructive and thoughtful discussion surrounding discourse. I make the effort to engage in discourse in genuine and meaningful ways. I've made mistakes and I've been sarcastic and joking in my responses, but I've corrected past mistakes and still done what I could to provide relevant and fair responses.

What I don't appreciate is needless assumption and blame surrounding my personhood, and more often than not, that's what this has been and this all upholds it.

All of this started because of one drawing of a fictional au based on Dream Team that was meant to be a silly, lighthearted "for the girls" kinda thing. It isn't my true representation of the Dream Team, and it's not the main focus of my blog, and never has been. I've only drawn Claire four times. Majority of the discussion has been about the two pieces I drew of her way back in November. The way I draw Claire is not the way I draw cc!Dream, and that's evident from the simplest scroll through my art tag. You've labeled me the "Dream Fat Artist" all because of one au with only four drawings of Claire, compared to the roughly 30+ times I have drawn Dream as a cartoon version of what he actually looks like (with the exception of one of those being him as a popsicle and another being him as a cat beanie).

If any of this were truly about Vera, you wouldn't feel the need to continue reading my blog, continue referencing my content, and continue posting about my blog long after the inciting issue. If any of this were still about Vera, you wouldn't need to bring up Surecop (Dot), Dizzy, Catnon, or PT. You wouldn't need to speculate on the identities of Golo blogs and keep track of who owned what URLs. You wouldn't feel the need to directly quote or respond to tags in posts about topics you would never have brought up without having read through mine or others' content.

(If we really want to bring Vera into any of this, you can find reposts of her original arguments here.)

I never claimed you were trying to "run me off" either. I've had this blog for years and cycled through dozens of fandoms and fandom drama and controversy. I've never faced someone who has behaved the way you have toward me and the people surrounding me. I've never posted on this blog with the fear that someone was watching me and reporting my activity the way I've felt that anxiety with you and your anons. I posted my message to you because I was fed up, overwhelmed, and truly at a breaking point knowing that you would be on my blog no matter what, and I didn't want to feel isolated and helpless over it anymore.

I've talked to so many people outside of the fandom about this and how much it has affected me and how to cope with the distress, which is why I took every step I could to avoid and ignore you. But none of that worked and you were still posting about me and anons were still in my inbox every week. I just want it to stop. Genuine full stop.

I won't be responding to this any further. I hope you have a good day following this and that you find joy in this fandom and Dream Team content again soon. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they need to leave or deactivate for any reason.

I just want to be left alone by you.

I've been pushed to an extreme recently and I need to get this off my chest for my own sanity. I've been ignoring this for months and doing what I can to avoid it, but things have increasingly gotten worse and I'm at a breaking point.

I know there are a lot of people keeping tabs on my blog for all the wrong reasons. This has led to a lot of my posts, fandom related and not, being taken and manipulated in ways to frame me negatively and warp any and all of my genuine intentions. I've done my best to address situations brought directly to me in good faith and with sensitive context, but everything has gotten out of hand and turned into a situation that has left me paranoid, anxious, and distraught. I need it to stop, even though I know it most likely won't.

This all started with my first drawing of the Dream Team girlfailures au in November and how I drew Claire. I understand the issue people had with it and I recognize some of the counter arguments and their valid points, but I think I explained my points well and they are equally valid. I stand by my explanation and I won't be rehashing all of it. The most I'll say is that my representations of cc!Dream in fandom context and of Girlfailures!Dream/Claire as an AU character are derived of a similar foundation but the latter is a fictional entity and not the real man.

I am always open to critique and discussion, but the feedback I've received and the long standing fixation on that art piece hasn't always been good faith critique, and has much more often been harassment and degradation of me as a person. That one drawing has led to an ongoing issue with what I would consider to be stalking and harassment.

Mar, @/cuntdrolo, has made at least 50 posts about and/or involving me, in those either directly linking my blog, indirectly mocking me and my posts, and harping on topics and discussions I was an active participant in. She claims none of this is harassment and stalking, that all of it is derived from me being a "sensitive golo" and normal fandom drama, when it's not. This hasn't been about fandom drama for a long time.

The only time I've directly interacted with her was to send her this message today:

She responded and blocked me, which is what I wanted, but has continued to post about me and this entire situation (which involves other people but I won't be dragging them into my part of this).

Here is a list of every post about me since mid-November. A few links I know for certain are missing, but I was unable to find the posts and two screenshots I had from that time saying I deserved to be killed for my art were deleted long ago. You will have to take my word for that unless I find them, but I understand and respect it if you don't.

I know she won't stop. I know there are people who will agree with her and support her, seeing only one side of this all. I don't care if people like my art. I don't care if people like me. I just want to be left alone and enjoy this fandom space without feeling like every action of mine is being watched and picked apart to an audience that don't know me and don't care to know me.

I've been in fandoms my whole life. I've dealt with plenty of fandom and personal drama. I've never experienced something to this degree of obsession, stalking, and harassment. I know a lot of this may get twisted back on me, but know I've done so much to ignore this and move on, but after this week with so much more being brought to my attention. I cracked.

Do not go to her blog. Do not interact with her posts. Do not send her anons. Do not involve yourself in this beyond reading this post and understanding my current mindset.

I don't want to be involved in this anymore. Stop making posts about me and leave me alone.

Thank you.

[captainkirkk]

Concept: Peter actually got bitten by a totally normal spider. It's just a coincidence that his mutant powers were awakened around the same time

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[deoidesign]

Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

[saltykoalamusic]

While I love the fandom and every single artist. I can't enjoy how some of the fandom portray Yarnaby as a dog/pet (I even saw headcanons for having him as a pet). As he is an autistic coded kid who was isolated and abused till his mind broke, due to which he started acting this way. It just seem like people fail to acknowledge Quinn and what happened to him

[breadbartz]

some expressions!! ^_^...

[hubriswest]

i can't choose between herbert being the younger or older one in the relationship because on one hand he's a little man with adoooorrraaable antics he looks and behaves like a retired geezer even though he's still a baby :')

but on the other hand dan holding the reagent above his head so that his Older husband will jump or go on his tippy toes to reach it. god fucking dammit you're supposed to respect your elders dan

[lem0nicle]

did a little humph on a stick note <3