#i cant say i entirely regretted it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oflgtfol · 2 years ago

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like on one hand a job at michaels has nothing to do with astronomy.. but im hoping that like hehe i led the sunday craft classes and stuff.. that gives me experience with like instruction especially geared towards kids... haha.. museum person you wanna hire me so bad.... #Crying

#if i dont get a job in sci comm then my whole astro degree was for nothing. hashtag crying #well ok no it did . do many things for me #i cant say i entirely regretted it #after all i wasnt able to give up on my dreams of grad school WITHOUT having suffered through undergrad #by which i mean it was specifically having this experience in academia that made me realize. i cant do academia for the rest of my life #if i didnt go through this then a part of me would be forever wondering. forever mourning the potential future i never pursued #but now i can say i did pursue it. and it was during the pursuit that i realized its ultimately not for me #and even besides all that it did give me a lot of cool skills like programming. and math that most people have never even heard of #so yknow it wsant for Nothing #but its still kinda killing me . all that and i might not even have a career at all in astronomy #brot posts

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chara-55 · 2 months ago

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This was like 2 weeks after watching the movie

-Soup rambles in tags-

#chara_55 #transformers #transformers one #Dude I was having another depressive episode at that time & then I discovered TF1 #Yknow it's bad when the Marketing flopped the movie when I barely saw any trailers of the movie in our country #TF1 had the same themes as the ones I was having problems with (the world problem & relationship stuff)#that's why I balled my eyes out after watching the movie #I've been a TF fan since I was a kid but I was only appreciating it in the shadows cuz the gender norm set for kids back then yknow #how transformers are only for boys only hhsbshh- 💥#anyways as a returnee fann #I see more people appreciating TF alot & that's really cool #I can openly fangirl over silly robots now yey #I've been nagging my best friend about the movie alot & all of the lore AHHAH I cant contain my exitement #especially my #starscream #oh how I missed that silly robot #sentinel prime #in tf1 looks so fine though I hate to admit that #man I should be hating him but 😔#Also can I mention Starscream literally encouraging D-16 to hit him harder & more then regretting it later after he pulled out his gun HDSH #Cant forget him saying “Hit me!” “harder!” “yeah more! haha!”#Good lord starscream you're not even trying to hide it #((omg wait did you seriously read my entire rambling? bye-))#soups' talk

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pup-pee · 11 days ago

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hi this is a post saying i will not b online((or try)) until i get my g.e.d.

i love u all if i uh, yk never return

hugs hugs many sweet dreams & good mornings!

#i had a much longer post then realized no1 wants 2 read all that long #i dont want 2 like fill the tags w/reasons y im suddenly doing this #hell i might regret this & delete it a minute l8r #but like. i need my highschool diploma #ive failed school like all the way through. my entire school career looks good in concept but its not #shit im going 2 start crying again #<- that is also y #i keep crying i keep like getting rlly sad & self #destructive & idk how 2 fix that so im doing this so no1 hears my whining #uhhh pray 4 me 2 pass ig lol #hugs hugs hugs mnay hugs #this feels like a final goodbye bc my self confidence is so bad jdjfiosk #summer school; switching classes bc of bad grades; getting expelled; having numerous teacher conferences; having my teachers talk 2 me like #im their kid just bc my mother works @ the school ohh my god that hurt the most & made me want 2 go monkey mode #point is im not good @ school & never have been & it stresses me out & im so scared #im so afaid im crying just thinking about sitting in a class #i love learning i love ideas i love questions MY FAVORITE SUBJECT IS MATH but im just so scared 4 some reason #& idk if ill b able 2 do it #i can barely see my screen help djchis #anyways im going 2 try my best bc i want 2 talk 2 my friends & uhm thats rlly it #but i cant do that unless i get better so im going 2 try 2 not #i ended up rambling in the tags blehhh #niko is also w/me rn as always & i will give him all the kisses &love i can so nobody worry about that #watch me take this post back in a day bc the internet has been 1 of my only safe soaces #this is so pathetic kanfkf & me saying so does not make it any less so #i just jumped out of the car & walked 2 hrs home crying bc im an actual disaster rn #like what if everything im thinking rn makes no sense #i mean not the school thing #i need 2 do that #i need 2 stop stalling

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riiviir · 2 months ago

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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY #Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific #the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY #brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the #sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE #IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D #me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry #bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with #also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d #already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO #MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD #BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH #DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN #ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ #sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube #anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have #an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her #but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't #10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think

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widevibratobitch · 6 months ago

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(not quite logging back in just venting dont mind me <3 ill reply to everyone later mwah)

#i guess the worst thing about allllllll the times my mother tells me im crazy is that i know she's right lol #like the instant overwhelming need to sh whenever she says it or in fact every time we fight should be enough to confirm it 🤡#like i legit wont calm down until i physically hurt myself preferably also drawing blood. this is not Sane Person Behaviour #anyway whatsapp just spent a few minutes crying curled up on the floor in the kitchen pulling my own hair trying to ✨Not SH✨#because its stupid idiot motherfucking summer and everyone will See #and ended up doing it regardless lol #and its so funny cause like literally the moment i do it im perfectly fine and mentally and emotionally stable again 🥰😇#anyway i love my mom she's great but she did ruin my entire life and me as a person too #and basically all my adult problems can be easily traced back to my psychological nightmare of a childhood #except i cant blame her for that either because she didnt have it easy and she raised me on her own (and unmedicated too)#while my dad didnt really even get many occasions to ruin me on a fundamental level (like he sure did use those few chances he had but yknow #not nearly as many as my mom got)#so i cant just blame my mom and let feminism lose like that #anyway. she should never have had children and i there's nothing i regret more than her husband dying instead of me #ok logging back off byeeeeeeeeee

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caffeiiine · 1 year ago

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i would like to see either nikolai or sigma's sentences please :3 /nf

THANK YOU!!! YOU ARE FUELING MY TWO FAVORITE THINGS!!!

under the cut bc length. [it got REALLY long]

anyways, nikolai and sigmas prison sentences as they would be in the US.

note: i’m not using the wiki for this. i doubt it covers everything, so im going back through the manga and analyzing everything from there. aside from finding out manga appearances, everything else is research and pre-memorized info.

note 2: i may have made a few mistakes with the sentencing but it should be accurate enough give or take 10 years.

note 3: there’s no minimum sentence since majority of research i’m doing leads to me picking the minimum years since it usually states “punishable by life imprisonment or any number of years” which is unspecific and sucks so i just dropped the category

nikolai!!! - crimes - sentence - reference state - references/citations

Crimes :

first degree murder [7 accounts]

second degree murder [1 account]

domestic terrorism [16]

mutilation of a corpse [1 account]

shoplifting [implied, counted as 1 general account/misdemeanor]

assault with/using a deadly weapon [1 account]

impersonation [2 accounts]

[1]

disturbing the peace

theft of public property [2][3] [1 account]

verbal assault/threat [4] [1 account]

aiding and abetting

aiding in prison break

drugging [1 account]

attempted poisoning [5] [2 accounts]

fleeing arrest [1 account]

[6]

robbery/general larceny [4 accounts]

unlawful possession of explosives

attempted first degree murder [implied] [7]

kidnapping [4 accounts]

aiding a convict

breaking and entering [1 account]

sentence :

at maximum = 14 life sentences + 61 years + 186 days and/or up to 7,063,000$ in fines; no parole

reference state : michigan

references via michigan legislature : [first degree murder] Section 750.316 Act 328 of 1931 + [second degree murder] Section 750.317 Act 328 of 1931 + [domestic terrorism not counted, i can’t find definitive punishments and it'd probably be with the supreme court] + [mutilation of a corpse] Section 750.160 Act 328 of 1931 + [shoplifting] Section 750.356 Act 328 of 1931 + [impersonation] Section 750.217 Act 328 of 1931 + [felony assault] Section 750.82 Act 328 of 1931 + [disturbing the peace] Section 750.170(?) + [theft of public property] section 750.356 act 328 of 1931 + [terrorizing/verbal assault/harrassment] section 750.411h act 328 of 1931 + [aidinh and abetting] section 750.450 act 328 of 1931 + [aiding in a prisoners escape/aiding a convict] section 750.183 act 328 of 1931 + [attempted poisoning] section 750.91 act 328 of 1931 + [fleeing arrest] section 760.479a act 328 of 1931 + [robbery] section 750.529 act 328 of 1931 + [unlawful possession of explosives] section 750.200 act 328 of 1931 + [attempted first degree murder] section 750.91 act 328 of 1931 + [kidnapping] section 750.349 act 328 of 1931 + [breaking and entering (with explosives)] section 750.112 act 328 of 1931.

Sigma!!! - crimes - sentence - reference state - references/citations

[8]

threatening an officer [2 accounts]

domestic terrorism [16]

unlawful possession of explosives

attempted first degree murder [1 account]

criminal negligence [9]

aiding and abetting

negligent attempted mass murder [10]

attempted first degree murder by proxy [several accounts] [11]

felony assault by proxy [12] [3 accounts]

[13]

attempted manslaughter [14] [2 accounts]

attempted second degree murder [15] [1 account]

aiding in a prison break

aiding a convict [1 account]

breaking and entering [1 account]

felony assault [3 accounts]

sentence :

at maximum: 5 life sentences + 45 years 93 days and/or up to 8,000$ in fines; possibility of parole

references via michigan legislature: [aiding and abetting] section 750.450 act 328 of 1931 + [felony assault] section 750.82 act 328 of 1932 + [aiding in prisoner escape/aiding a convict] section 750.183 act 328 of 1932 + [unlawful possession of an explosive] section 750.200 act 328 of 1932 + [attempted (any type of) murder/manslaughter] section 750.91 act 328 of 1932 + [breaking and entering (with explosives)] section 750.112 act 328 of 1932 + [threatening an officer] section 750.478a act 328 of 1932 + [criminal/gross negligence] section 8.9 michigan legislature

#[1] i wouldve included something about his gun but the laws vary so much state by state itd be difficult to find a proper middle ground and-#-gun control laws are really iffy and varied in general with a lot of uncertain elements like concealed carry etc #[2] referring to the poles he used to fight atsushi chapter 58 #[3] not entirely sure since nobody stole support infrastructure before so theres no law for it #[4] verbal assault is an umbrella term so its a little difficult to pin down; when he asks one of the government people if theyre ready to-#-“say bye-bye to their lower halves” going based off the context; it fits the legal definition of verbal assault #[5] taking the syringes at face value and assuming theyre actually poisoned despite inconsistencies with approximate death times #[6] not entirely sure how nikolai got the floor plans to the prison; and as far as i looked; the act of possessing them doesnt seem illegal #[7] its implied that he tries to kill fyodor very often; i cant find examples but 111 fyodor states nikolai has tried to kill him on -#-several occations #[8] at about chapter 72 sigma states the casino is run under international law; i’m not running nikolai’s sentence in japan so i’m ignoring #-that piece and giving him the same reference state as nikolai #[9] the coin explosives being held in a customer room #[10]the coin bombs that were to be distributed via the casino and explode once distributed enough #[11] via the customers in the casino and security; sigma really likes his crimes by proxy doesn’t he.#[13] the gun in the comms room is definitely illegal but to keep things in line with Nikolai i’m not counting gun law violations unless its #-obvious like murder or manslaughter #[14] attempted manslaughter in of itself is a contradictory term; the way it’s defined and the way i’m using it is in reference to sigmas-#-state of mind right then. where he was engaging in a desperate attempt to save his casino via stopping teruko by any means necessary-#-and was not in a proper state of mind to be accurately tried for attempted second degree murder as he normally would’ve been.-#-the legal term for this is “in the heat of passion” i believe.#[15] trying to take teruko with him in death #[16] i can’t find punishments for terrorism so it’s not counted in the final tally #i spent actual hours on this [not regretted one bit]#oh my hod i don’t want to look at the michigan legislature for another month after this #it was so much fun though ty xan #soda incarcerates your faves #bsd #bsd nikolai #bsd sigma

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candlebel · 10 months ago

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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void�� again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff

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cloudbends · 4 months ago

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well. (Scratches desk. Bashes my head into the wall over and over again /pos)

#vi rambling #pokemon #HISTORICALLY CATASTROPHIC VI MEDIA MOMENT .#well. from what i could pick up. superb fucking episode.#exactly the way i wanted it to go AND STILL SURPRISED ME and went beyond my expectations. THEYRE WRITING THEM BOTH SO WELL.#im so pleased. im so distraught. i cant believe this is happening. this is so good narrative wise but i also feel awful. incredible.#one of the best episodes of the entire fucking series to which we've had buildup since episode 1. im normal. <- deranged #i will say I'm a bit scared that because they did THAT to him. he'd kind of regress and regret helping like at all. but #i don't think that conversation in the end has been for nothing i know it has significance I KNOW. I BELIEVE IN HIM. (and the writers)#edit: i watched it subs and i have so many thoughts i posted and deleted my essay about it twice but i need you to know.#instead of brain there is pokemon horizons rn. and amethio specifically. episode that changed me in some way idk #its that serious.

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titanofthedepths · 5 months ago

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I really need to stop bleeding myself dry for people just because I love them

#delete later #Turning my entire fucking life upside down for someone who has honestly been a really shitty friend lately. lmao.#but its too late for me to back out so! whatever!#im sticking myself in an apartment i cant afford with a friend that cant be assed to tell his partner not to encroach when we have plans #i really really really fucking regret signing that lease #i feel so stupid about it but i thought this one wouldnt work out so i applied anyway figuring id say something after it was rejected #so much for that!

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ourhouseishaunted · 2 years ago

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70% of my trigun thoughts are abt how plants (independent and dependant) work and what they symbolize and their relationships with other characters and the world and stuff and the implications of independent plants coming with the earth forces and what it says about how earth has progressed since SEEDS left the planet, 20% of my thoughts are "hope those guys (meryl milly vash livio ww knives) are having fun" and 10% is rotating trimax Rem Saverem around in my head at all times

#i think abt rem a lot for a character that is like important but also isnt materially present in the story much #like idk her relationship with grief and regret and the idea of her looking at the shambles of her life and having to say #'well at least i can start over since theres nothing left for me' multiple times (after alex dies and she joins seeds #and after failing to keep tesla alive and getting a 'second chance' with vash and knives) idk its just so fascinating to me #and her idea of a blank ticket to the future and what it means in terms of how vash shapes his worldview in trimax #where it seems to be about how. death stops all future potential of a person. if they die they can never get better they dont learn #they cant change and experience consequence #like smth i find fascinating in trimax is that vash doesnt kill people but he will let somebody that person has hurt punch them in the face #and he thanks ww for killing to save the colony that one time. hes not opposed to killing/consequence entirely #i think it comes down a lot to how rem behaved in the aftermath of him finding out about tesla. how the potential for things to get better #would have died with him or rem and it would have just stayed horrible #idk idk im Rambling im turing things around in my brain #also man my main complaint with the manga is i wish it focused on the dependant plants more. they clearly experienced a big emotional #struggle esp in the final volumes and i wish we got to see more of it #but also i just like the wacky small town hijinks esp in the 98 anime i love when the main cast is just goofin around. i think they should #get to goof more #trigun #.txt #Dont Look At This Post Man its EMBARRASSING nobody should let me talk abt anything #the secret special bonus tjoughts are about chronica bc she fascinates me but i cant draw her good the way i can draw meryl and rem :(

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orcelito · 6 months ago

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God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.

#speculation nation #i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue #idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit #and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved #if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better #bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving #so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still #for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.

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tasmanianstripes · 2 years ago

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Sometimes I remember absolutely batshit insane discourse topics I saw when I was a teen and I am just. Amazed

Also, the fact that adults also said this just adds to the insanity tbh

#thylacines can talk #aces stole purple from bis #homosexual/romantic is a slur #aspec actually means autism spectrum and you cant use it if youre acearo. sources? just trust me bro #the mooncourse #people acting rude and entitled because you didn't include a lesbian flag in something. even when it WAS included just in a different post #when a certain art project was split into multiple posts. or they used a lesbiaj flag that they made on their own or that was less popular #because it was back when people still weren't set on which lesbian flag to use. or if it was by-request project #thay one time a lesbian candle maker was harassed because she made a lesbian candle hut didnt use the pink lipstick flag so people accused #her of being lesbophobic despite it saying thats a lesbian flag Right There on heretsy shop #either the same person or another lesbian crafter getting harassed because she made an ace artemis soap #the entire discourseprincessa fiasco #the queer is a slur argument and it's useless anyway because its too vague (thats the POINT)#it was tiring and so stupid when it all was happening and i regret wasting my teens on that bs. but man is it funny in hindsight #i dont miss old tumblr discourse though #I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT ANOTHER ONE. APPARENTLY 'PISS YOUR PANTS' WAS A DEATH THREAT #alsp the fact that i still see people. ADULTS. arguing against the aspec or pan/mga is laughable #what are you? 13? get off the internet. go outside. touch grass. interact with actual queer community. stop being so chronically online #these are just words. if they saw the type of terms older generations use theyd fucking combust on the spot

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hakaieve · 2 years ago

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continuing to be the biggest fuuta haterfan on the planet. yes i think about him an unfortunate amount yes i'm physically incapable of reading anything he says in good faith

#todays question was fuuta saying point blank 'i regret it' but i just cant take him at face value #i guess its bc its odd to me that he said 'i shouldnt have gotten involved in what other people are doing'#even though his victim didnt really do anything in the first place?#es said it too but he doesnt seem apologetic towards his victim at all or even think she didnt deserve harassment #i dont think he truly understands what he did wrong #he just regrets losing an eye #plus. like. his entire voice drama and 'it wasnt my fault anyway' from backdraft #my posts

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evilcartoonghosts · 2 days ago

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There is blood on the snow, and it is not yours. There is blood on your hands, and it is not yours. There is blood in your mouth, and it is not yours. It drips down into your eyes, red film like tears when you blink. It is not yours. You can hear a heartbeat. It quickens. It slows. It halts. It is still not yours. What have you done? What have you done? What have you done?

#Been overwhelmed with regret and terror lately #One of my worst fears has happened and it is entirely my fault #Im terrified of abandonment and I hurt someone who was starting to trust me bad enough that I thinl ive lost them #Im trying so hard and I want to text them and explain #But im taking a few days off- Im still too afraid to be talking to them and be honest instead of just lying in a pretty way #I want them to care about me and feel safe with me again but I dont know if they will and it hurts so fucking much #Ive hurt and lost someone I care about because i lashed out when I was having a breakdown #And because I think that they need someone who is more healed than I am #I am still freshly broken and their edges have begun to be sanded down by time #And their trust for me was that I would not cut them when they held me #Theyve said that I need to stop saying I cant help it but it's eating me alive #Two more years. I cant go two more years with only one friend #I need to stop needing them #Its making me too breakable and too desperate to be safe for them #I want to be able to have my only desire to be their safety and I know thats what they need from me #But as I am there is a cornered animal in my heart who's only able to want his own survival at any cost #You said to stop saying im sorry because it hurts you more #And I see why #I use it so I can dull the truth which is that I dont thinl I can change #I am sorry #I swear to god. I am so so sorry #Id do anything to fix this and to make this betger and to keep you safe but the animal is still cornered #You'll never be able to trust me because I am sharp and scared and i'll never be able to heal because I am not trustworthy #I'm sorry that we couldnt make it. I have to give up on us for you to get out of this without scars #Poetry #<- shitty but. I am just a boy #Ive blocked the person this is about for both of our health so this gets to be on my digital footprint guess who's a messy 16 year old

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1am-s0-veryt1red · 2 months ago

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#im going to end up on the news #been living in this house for 6 months and the roof has leaked the entire time we've been there #and every time we call a roofing company to take a look at it they either blow us off or take a week to respond #i spent a whole paycheck and a half the last time they came out because they were pretty sure they had figured out the problem #only to turn around this week and have it leak AGAIN during the storm #in the same place it did before they “fixed” it #and then there was a hole in the roof where my bedroom is and it leaked when it rained really hard #and they patched that and i thought it was fixed #but when i came home from work my ceiling looked more damaged than it eas #but i cant tell because the floor was dry #so am i just paranoid?? i dont know #i regret not taking pictures of the damage originally to compare it #and i regret not sending my sister into my room last night to check on it #when i was getting dressed tonight for work i opened my closet door and there was a damp patch on the floor #but that was over 18 hours after it had stopped raining #so HAD it leaked? and it just ran under my closet door?? because it's done that before #or did the AC sweat?? because thats also happened before #i feel like im going insane #i dont know what to do anymore #and im afraid when we finally get ahold of a roofing company that is willing to come out #theyre going to say we need a whole new roof #i cant afford this #we're barely scraping by as it is #okay im done

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im-a-lil-bitch-boi · 6 months ago

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not my mom gettin mad at me for bein up and about at 4 or 5 am when i was layin down by 3 am amd asleep by 4 💀

apparently she saw the lights turn on and off but the sun comes up around that time facin the room im in so if i was up i wouldnt need the light on??

like i was def asleep bc my lil sister woke me up for my laptop for my mom(she refuses to buy her own for some reason and uses mime, she also gets mad at me for askin for it back even tho its kine and i bought it for myself???) and i went back to sleep immediately after so idk wtf she was talkin bout

#genuinely i think she gets mad at me jus to be mad at me #like i alr kno u hate me u dont need to keep findin excuses to show it 🙄#also in case any of y'all who read the tags try n say 'shes ur mom! she cant hate u!'#she literally told me 2 yrs ago that she hated me #and my entire life told me she regretted havin me and wish she aborted me so

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