#i cant remember when i did that last
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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"You have another copy of the keys, right?"
My excuse for POCKY DAY 💥 I've been waiting to post this since last year, time flies...
Tagging these peeps because if it wasn't for all your support on my shippy work over the years idk what it would have been of myself right now @emisatea @sug4r-melon @ivycorp @jarofloosescrews 🐦💚🦡 Thank you so much!
#myart#maccadam#tfa prowl#tfa lockdown#lockprowl#transformers fanart#i admit i broke emotionally a tad when i finished this#i struggled SO MUCH i cant remember the last time i spend so much time in this technique#i thought i could do it in time I MEAN i did but idk#i guess i just need to sit down with it a few hours more to feel the accomplishment fall on my brain#ifeelinrobothellagain#shipping to the moon and back#pocky day#pocky game#sort of LOL#IM BAD AT HUMOR IM SO SORRY
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Ochako: Hi, I'm Ochako! And you are?
Toga: not as straight as i thought i was, apparently
#incorrect lov#hey remember when horikoshi made the internet explode with doomed yuri and mfs were reading all 300 chapters just to get context#what a fucking legend#it wasnt even queerbait like that was just queer and it was amazing???#like wow holy shit#toga himiko#uraraka ochako#dude what were the order of my tags before. i deadass cant remember#did i not have a consistent last name first name or vice versa ordering#helppppp
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Finished some Cassies (plural) off today.
#summerly draws#theyre so smiley i hate them /lying#did... surprisingly okay on the chair. considering i cant draw wheelchairs. its a pediatric wallaby chair. one of the 12'' ones#these are references for something im working on so. theyre not super polished. but they dont have to be#mostly to get a feel for different outfits cassie can wear (and would possibly wear) with different mobility aids#poor moon boot cassie though. i still remember wearing ONE moonboot about two years ago when i broke my ankle#and shes gotta wear two? im a meanie please take her away from me#no really shed be dying inside- how can she wear pretty shoes with THOSE on???#i managed to draw exactly one (1) good hand... out of six. orz kill me dead#edit- i cant believe i forgot to colour her eyebrows on the last one fuck im stupid#dont trust me with anything#is it really a birthday party fanfic#:3 yeah this was secretly character design for my monstrosity lol
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My last two brain cells being investigated for identity theft and corruption.
#world of warcraft#varian wrynn#warcraft#i drew it when everyone was doing the meme and i realized i should post this before i forget#but like come on its perfect#I love these two and lowkey sad that more people don't give carefree dontgiveafuck dumbass charmed varian the fanwork he deserves#He was the one who sacrificed himself thinking that he would die so that Logosh could survive#BRO SAID “SHE SHALL NOT HAVE YOU” WHEN HE SAVED LOGOSH HE WAS GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF HES THE BEST#AND NOBODY REMEMBERS HIMM#I mean they do i guess but like LoGosh is more talked about and like i recongize its harder to talk about Charmed Varian when he doesnt hav#a unique name#and i joke hes not a dumbass hes really smart and caring and is very very lucky that his sacrifice actually saved them both because logosh#would not be able to rule by himself#I have an au where onyxia split anduin in a last act of defience before death and they cant combine the boys without risking his life and#as he grows older the twin boys flaws grow and grow until it dystroies their relationships and minds and theyre forced to find a fix#basically my headcanon is that logosh would've succumbed to his flaws as king alone and would not have succeeded as king as long as#the Varian we know did
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half-remembered landscapes from places you can't quite recall
#slowly revealing my ado backstory through extremely vague lazy comics#did she have parents? people that cared for her? a family? she doesnt know and therefore its never touched upon#hc adeleine cant draw humans very well because. well. shes the only one she can recall.#but sometimes places will seep through her memory from a time even before the Big Winter#green trees and beaches and cities not covered in snow#the inherent existentialism of longing for a family that looks like you even when you cant remember the last time you spoke to another human#kirby series#adeleine kirby#ribbon kirby#veves ultra cool art#i havent made a vague depressing adopost for two seconds?? that needs to change immediately
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#text#i cant even Remember when i last sent an anon#WAIT NO I DID it was for a poll blog LMAO#but that was a WHILE ago
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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#yes i submitted this to destieldailynews yes im also posting it myself#cant believe this isnt trending#obligatory: cancer sucks yo please remember the discourse when charlie announced his#kate middleton#princess kate#as i said on my last post. im mostly curious to see if she also announces intent to treat hers with herbs#edit: apparently she said shes doing chemo on medical advice#i think some of her comments were probably like................ not in the best of taste#but it did sound like it was written by a publicist so duh
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also i just keep thinking about the pages of claudia’s diaries torn out and armand’s “louis can sometimes act up. i protect him from himself.” truth and reconciliation, that's the premise of the interview, but the concealment is almost a spotless mind kind of thing. a removal of everything that’s too difficult, a manipulation of facts that makes the story and the way it ends easier to swallow, but at the cost of something. claudia’s real words about her own life, how louis really felt, what actually happened. “she wrote about it and i’d like to read it” “she could dream” “i want this. to remember”
#would not be surprised if louis actually consented to some of the memory manipulation bc it would be so delicious#armand swapping his life of guilt after claudia’s death the way lestat promised once#because otherwise louis would kill himself#we already know he couldn’t remember paris in the 70s and when he did he almost died#i cant wait to learn more these last episodes will go so hard#interview with the vampire#m
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furina de fontaine
#genshin impact#genshin#furina#furina genshin#first fan art for anything in like.. forever. i cant remember when i last did one asdfgk#do you know how many layers it took to get all of her details right. it was rlly fun but i kept looking at my ref and realizing#''oh. still more stuff huh'' asdfghjk#but it was worth it for my daughter she deserves it
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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my goal was 4k in 30 min really really didnt think i was going to make it 🥹🥹🥹
#crop cus i realised i was fully about to dox myself lmfao#i know im still the worlds slowest runner but this was a huge deal for me alright......... heres why commence tag ramble 321#usually i do time based so yesterday i did 30 mins and did like 3.9k. so i was like well 4k in 30 mins should be easy! it wasnt.#i got to like 29 minutes and was like ah damn not gonna make it but at least i tried. started to slow down and then saw a girl doing sprint#nearby and thought well fuck it and sprinted for my life for the last few hundred metres i cant remember i was in the throes of battle#TWO SECONDS TO SPARE........#huge deal for me as someone who is extremely prone to giving up#and i set a 2 mile pb!!!!!!!!!#maybe a 30 minute 5k is more possible than i thought#its funny cus i spent this whole time up till now working on going slowly enough to actually complete the runs and now im like#HURRY UP!!! OH FUCK!!!!! vndksjfhdfgdkhf#i need new shoes though i have horrible blisters#saw this cat on the way home btw and it could not have cared less about me i may as well have been invisible. no response even when i pette
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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It is so funny reading about pottery techniques for class and seeing the words “Mishima technique” while listening to the p5r ost
#I had to take a moment to pause and just look at the page#and then look up the technique to see examples and it’s actually really cool!!!#however Google did think I was looking up Mishima (the character) when autofilling the search bar hsjksksks#which is…predictable#anyways :3#persona 5#persona 5 royal#HELP I CANT REMEMBER MISHIMAS LAST NAME TO TAG HIMMM#GOOGLE PROVED RIGHT IN PREDICTING MY BEHAVIOR ONCE MORE AS I SEARCH UP HIS WIKI#mishima yuuki#sigh#I may be stupid#pottery#technically this post is about pottery too
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hot topic used to have a dedicated section for plushies but it doesnt anymore it just keeps getting worse 🙄
#theres other stores with plenty of plushies where i went to but it still made me sad#they used to have exclusives there like i remember an exclusive cuphead plushie there#it gets worse with every passing year#atleast it didnt have that rlly bad '''''weirdcore''''' shirt anymore#it was bad#it was there last time i went and i tried really hard not to laugh#its like they stole some generic weirdcore/dreamcore image from pinterest#a bunch of realistic eyes and random ominous text#and i saw No junji ito stuff this time 🚶 Boooo 🍅🍅🍅#speaking of I almost did buy Gyo hardcover cuz i already have Tomie and Uzumaki i wanted to complete the set. but i changed my mind 💔#i almost got the Soichi collection too since ive wanted to read those stories fhsjdj me when horror manga AUGHHHH#i cant buy books. i cant buy anymore books i barely read them itd be a waste of money (ive already read all of uzumaki#SIGHHHHH#im just rambling now sorry
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