#i cant get drunk or high enough to make it go away

[chucklechampion]

just succinctly wrote my feelings in the tags of a blank post and tumblr fucking deleted it when i tried to post it, i think i will stop trying to vent post on here

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hello Poly! The short stories you're putting out are absolutely making me feral. Thank you for all the anons and their creative minds and thank you for writing and expanding on it beautifully. You inspire me to write my own 😭😭 I've been thinking of an older reader Empress Consort and a much younger Commander Gojo and him continuously getting all the wrong conclusions and falling hard despite the Empress only using him for her own pleasure (he knows this but he can't stop his feelings anyway). Im gonna stop before I get carried away

You cant just leave me with this 10/10 take and leave gET BACK HERE-

you are the brains of the operation, not your idiot husband. He's the Emperor only in name; all the advisors and officials know who's pulling the true strings. While he's off in brothels, you maintain and ensure the kingdom prospers. He may have been born into royalty, but you fought to rule. You don't mind his sleazy behavior. His preoccupations leave the kingdom running smoothly, and its not like you've ever missed his touches. 

Satoru is a stupid child when he catches your eye. Apart from his clan name and excellent swordsmanship, he has nothing going for him. He has no tact, often talks his head off, and is just 20 years old. Everyone tells you he's barely fit enough for a squire's post, but you don't listen to them. You've been needing to get rid of the current commander: A drunk that's only there due to nepotism. You choose Satoru because he looks easy to control. He's a child, eager to please, despite his brash nature. Smart, but his lack of aspirations leaves him open. You know with enough gold and women, you can tame him. He reminds you of a dog: treat-motivated, all bark; no bite, loyal. He's barely a dog, more like a yipping puppy.

For Satoru, it starts off as innocent admiration. You're strong. You keep your head held high. But you're also kind and generous. You're more than a decade older than him but he's never found someone so beautiful before. 

The emperor doesn't deserve you. 

It devolves into there. You're clearly trapped in your marriage. A beautiful, lonely, empress, locked in an ivory tower, silently begging for help. It doesn't help that you're practically teasing him with every interaction. You laugh at his jokes. Brief touches on his shoulder. Once you reached up to pluck a fallen flower out of his hair. You're in love with him, but you can't do anything about it because of your current marriage and your status. 

Only he can save you. 

Soon, Satoru realizes that once he puts his mind to it, he can do anything. It takes less than a decade for tensions to rise between the crown and the people. The secret of what the king's been doing is out. Using the people's money for whores while children are starving. The revolution bloomed underneath Satoru's fingertips. 

He takes the throne with little difficulty. It helps that the Gojo clan also had a claim to the throne, which only furthered his rule. The day he is crowned, your miserable husband is stripped and hung. 

You're technically a traitor to the throne, but Satoru would rather die than let you see the inside of a dungeon, much less the gallows. You're kept high up in an ivory tower, locked away for only his eyes to see. 

You're a pampered prisoner, but still a prisoner. You aren't allowed to leave, you can't do anything but rot in your silk bedsheets. Such obstruction of freedom is enough to drive anyone to extremes. You're strong, but Satoru is stronger. A month and a half after your husband's death, you finally agree to marry him. 

Even the most loyal dogs bite if their owners starve them enough. 

[lonigiri]

anton nsfw alphabet

minors dni

a=aftercare: hes so sweet, gives you kisses and cuddles, cleans you up a little bit but not anything big, just gets some tissues but he loves after sex cuddles

b=body part: his favorite body part on himself is probably his height (ik its not like a part stfu) he loves the size difference between himself and you. his favorite body part on you is probably your neck, his head is always burried in your neck giving you kisses and sucking hickies 🤭

c=cum: he just loves to cum. thats it thats the tweet/hj. hes just so happy to have someone that loves him enough to be this vulnerable with him and he cant hold himself back from cumming he feels like hes gonna cum his pants whenever he sees ur pretty tits 😣

d=dirty secret: he wants to ask one of the guys (preferably wonbin or sohee bcs they wouldnt make fun of him) to have a threesome with you and him because he thinks ur too pretty to just have you to himself, he wants to see how good his members can fuck you

e=experience: he wasnt very experienced before you, you were probably his first or second, but you helped teach him how to touch you nice and good to make you finish

f=favorite position: probably just missionary, he loves being on top of you and seeing how tiny you are compared to him, also loves burrying his face into your neck. if he wanted to switch it up he'd probably let you ride him

g=goofy: probably 50/50 hes honestly too busy whimpering to be funny

h=hair: anton strikes me as the type to be basically fully shaved, he just doesnt like how the hair looks on him

i=intimacy: he doesnt strike me as the type to have fast/rough sex, sure if he has some like pent up anger he will fuck you but if its just a normal tuesday he likes to have slower sex, but if you asked him to be rougher he will oblige

j=jack off: anton was so scared to ask you for sex during your relationship, yall would be making out and he'd pop a boner and he'd excuse himself to the bathroom and rub one out (which was very apparent to you because the walls were thin and you could hear him moaning) but now that you guys actually have sex he doesnt really masterbate anymore, only if hes away from you for a long time

k=kink: he def has a size kink, watching how ur belly buldges when he bottoms out inside of you turns him on so so much he could just cum right then and there tbh

l=location: he just likes the bed, nothing crazy, sometimes the shower if you ask him to shower with you

m=motivation: bro gets turned on by everything and anything, the slightest touch to him hes on the verge of getting bricked. but its only for you, you make him feel such a special way the no one else could 🥰🥲

n=no: just anything thats hurting you, sure he might accidentally hurt you with his dick and being too eager but he always feels so bad. he could never hurt you on purpose 💔

o=oral: anton is a MUNCH and i stand by that, he LOVEEESSSS eating pussy so much. he gets sooo pussy drunk when hes between ur legs omg. when you first asked him to eat u out he was very skeptical, now he basically claws at ur pants to get them off so he can eat you nice and good like u deserve

p=pace: like i said earlier he enjoys slow sex a lot more then rough/fast sex. he will go fast/rough if you ask him to, he just probably wont last as long 😣

q=quickie: hes iffy on them, doesnt really enjoy them bcs he likes to take his time with you. but if you have limited time to have sex he will have one just wont be very happy abt it

r=risks: doesnt really take risks, he knows what works and he sticks to it

s=stamina: he does not have a very high stamina, can probably go for at the very most 3 rounds and even by then hes like dying

t=toys: you have a viberator that you've integrated into your sex and he has a cock ring 😵‍💫

u=unfair: he doesnt really tease, like ever. if anything you tease him more then he teases you

v=volume: oh hes a whimperer his sounds are so freaking pretty. whispering into your ear how good you make him feel and how pretty you are

w=wild card: he loves when you mark him up, leaving hickies on his neck, scratching his shoulders and back. he takes it like a trophy. whenever hes changing around the guys and they see the marks they always call them out and he just smiles like a dummy recalling the things he did the night before to recive said marks

x=xray: oh anton is packing, its like 7 1/2"-8" and like the perfect girth. he didnt realize how big he actually was until the two of you had sex for the first time and your jaw was basically on the floor from how big he was like how tf is that supposed to go into my vagina

y=yearing: 24/7 hes thinking of it, how good ur cunt is and how when he gets home he wants to make you feel so good and bury himself into ur cunt

z=zzz: he falls asleep so fast, he gets the tissues to clean you up, and then he gives you a few kisses and as soon as hes cuddling with you he passes out

-------------

please do not translate or steal my works! reblogs and likes always help!!

[ashisill]

Ethereal

Josh kiszka x fem reader

He wants you until it starts to become a serious relationship. He’s found excuse after excuse not to make you his and you’ve had just about enough.

Warnings: (language, fighting, crying, smoking, drinking, friends with benefits, drunk and angry Josh, unprotected sex, overstimulation, f dom, vulgar language, subby Josh, and I believe that’s all)

AN: This might be my last fanfic for a while. I’ve been getting pretty discouraged recently which I try not to do. I’ve been spending so much time writing but not getting much out of it. I know I struggle with grammar a little but I’m trying to get better. I’ll still be active on tumblr but I’ll be taking a break from writing. I hope you all understand <3

~

Ethereal: extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world

It was a warm summer night in the middle of June. You should be home in your bed or relaxed smoking a J. Instead you’re naked in cold hotel sheets. Josh is standing on the balcony smoking a cigarette. If his brothers knew you were tangled in his sheets they’d surely give him a lecture. It’s not that you’re bad for Josh. Truth be told you’re the only person they want Josh to get with. It’s just that he’s convinced himself he can’t handle a relationship. He loves to play pretend like you two are together until it gets too serious. He drags you along but refuses to settle down. It’s not fair to either of you. Therefore they try their best to pull you two apart. He’s absolutely crazy for you but what is stopping him from making it official? It’s no secret. Everybody knows his feelings for you. Even though he tries to hide it from the guys. Jake’s the only one who truly knows about your secrets in the dead of night. Although it’s not that hard to assume you’re sleeping with each other.

“Josh you can’t keep fucking her”

“What else am I supposed to do Jake?”

“I dunno maybe take her out on a fucking date”

“ I don’t date. I can’t date. I don’t do ‘domestication’ you know this. I haven’t dated since high school. There’s a reason”

“And she’s about the only girl you’ve had sex with since high school. How do you think she feels being drug around from city to city for your pleasure?”

“My god don’t say it like that. She knows I cant settle down with her”

“She’s okay with being your fuck buddy even though you’re both hopelessly in love with each other? No Josh shes not. She tells you that so she doesn’t have to lose you”

“That’s not tru-”

“I’ve talked to her myself. She can’t wait forever and you’re going to continue to take advantage of her until she finds another. Then what are you gonna do?”

“She didn’t tell you that don’t you lie to me”

“Who cares what she said or didn’t. What are you gonna do when you lose her Josh? That’s what’s important right now”

Truthfully you can never see yourself moving on from him. Is it unhealthy? Absolutely. You both play pretend and act like best friends. Around the others it looks like nothing more than platonic feelings. They know better and so do the both of you. Except let the word ‘relationship’ get thrown around and Josh panics. As much as you try you just can’t understand. Why is he throwing you away? You’ve traveled the word to stay by his side. You take care of him better than anyone. You cook elaborate meals for him, you calm him down when he’s frantic, and you fuck him like a porn star. Any other guy would have jumped at the opportunity. Including his brothers but here you are waiting hand and foot for him.

“Josh?”

He’s sliding back the balcony door and walking towards the bed. He sits with his back facing you. “Yeah?”

“I bought a plane ticket back home”

“What why?”

He’s facing you now, hairs a wreck, and his eyes are bulged.

“Because I’m done Josh. I’m done being your fuck buddy, I’m done traveling city to city on a maybe, and I’m done with the excuses. Obviously you don’t want me because if you did you would have made me yours by now”

“That’s not true y/n you have to understand-”

“I’m done trying to understand you Josh!” You’re frantically throwing your clothes on and shoving the rest in a suitcase.

“You can’t leave y/n! Come on this is crazy”

“Do you know what’s crazy Josh? Spending this long waiting for a man who won’t even hold my hand in front of his brothers”

“Y/n I explained it to you. Just put the bag down and we’ll talk”

“Talk about what Josh? About how you’re ‘not ready’ and you ‘can’t handle a relationship’. I can’t keep killing myself for you to love me. Why don’t you love me? Why Josh why?”

“I-”

“What can’t talk your way out of this one?”

“I do love you y/n”

“Well that’s fucking big of you huh?”

“Y/n!”

“Can you tell me right now? Tell me that you want this? You want us”

He’s stammering on his words and staring into your eyes. He can’t form a sentence even with your threat of leaving. You look at him in shock and throw your hands up in the air. “Well then I guess that’s it then?”

“No y/n I do want you please. Please just stay”

“Us! I want you to want us! You’ve made it more than obvious that you don’t”

“Y/n please” he looks like he’s about to cry but you don’t care. You can’t care.

You grab your suitcase and open the door. Hes gripping your arm and pleading with you. “Y/n please I’ll change. Just don’t go”

“Josh let me go”

“No! God damn it y/n listen to me! Please I-”

He’s hurting you with his strength of his grip. You even debate on if it will bruise. “Ouch Josh let go of me”

“Y/n I can’t do this without you”

“Then you should have fucking thought about that before you treated me like nothing more than a fuck buddy”

You pull away and shove a finger in his chest. “goodbye Josh”

You slammed the door and turned down the hall. He’s laid up against the door pulling his hair. “Fuck fuck fuck”

You make your way to the hotel lobbiy and spot Jake sitting at the bar. You try to not catch his attention but who are you kidding. He’s now laid eyes on you and is very concerned as he waves to you. “Well well well what do we have here?”

“You don’t have to lecture Josh anymore because it’s over”

“Over?”

“I’m catching a plane back home so”

“Well hold on now. Come sit and have a drink with me”

He pats the barstool next to him and you sigh but join him. You order a drink to calm your nerves. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

“No” you throw back a shot.

“Might make you feel better. Get it off your chest before you leave”

Jake hopes he knows you well enough to convince you to stay. He stays quiet for a while giving you time to think. Just as he wished you start to open up.

“I told him I was leaving and asked if he was serious about us. Do you know what he said?”

“Do I want to know?”

“He said nothing Jake!. He just stared at me with that stupid face and his stupid brown eyes” you shout louder than you meant.

He’s the only person at the bar that didn’t give you a look of disgust. He smiles telling you to tone it down and continues.

“I’m not saying forgive him but you know he doesn’t mean that right?”

“Really Jake?” You punch his arm. “Sorry”

“Hey!” He laughs at your weak attempt of a punch. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant he’s fucking stupid. When you force him to deal with things that way he freaks. I don’t know why but he’s always been that way. There was a time when we were kids were he couldn’t function without me during school. I was always there to pull him out of situations and find a solution to whatever was wrong. Now he’s gotten a lot more independent from me but he still depends on me for a lot. Hence why I always got a phone call after you two got it on”

“He calls you after?”

“Usually to bitch and moan about how bad he wants you yes”

“Why does he have to be so complicated?”

“Because he’s Josh and he can’t do anything without a struggle”

You sigh “I’ve noticed”

“Has he ever told you about Brooklyn?”

“I’m gonna need a lot more shots for this huh?”

“Well don’t get wasted if you going home”

“I don’t know what to do”

“Well you’re always welcome to crash in my room if you just need a break. Or if your determined to leave I’ll pay for your ticket and drive you to the airport”

You sigh “I dunno just tell me about Brooklyn”

“Well Brooklyn was Josh’s first love. They were together for two years, lived together, and it seemed just perfect. He loved her like truly loved her and we all thought she did too. Well Josh came home early from Europe and found a guy sleeping in their bed. She claimed he was drunk and needed a place to crash. He knew it wasn’t true and thankfully he left. For the next year she would do everything she could to fuck with him. She’d call him shitfaced and try to get him back. She would come by my house and try to talk to him. It was borderline stalking and I had to basically threaten her to leave him alone. Eventually she gave up after she met some other guy. Well now your here and he’s fallen in love with you and he’s terrified”

“But doesn’t he know I’m not her?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get through to him”

“I would never hurt him like that! Never would I be so careless with his heart. He’s become everything to me. So much so that I feel like a part of me is missing when he’s not around. That’s stupid isn’t it?”

“Stupid because it’s my dumbass brother. But I never see you smile with your teeth unless you’re with him. Both of your eyes seem to glow together. You don’t look at anyone the way you look at him. You’re in way to deep to just up and go home”

“I love love him dont I?”

“If love love means you can’t leave tonight then yes”

“I’m not going anywhere but he can’t get away with acting this way”

“Here”

He hands you his debit card and room card “you can order food and drinks from the room and they will bring it up. Take your bags and go get shit faced and I’ll fix this okay?”

You both rise to your feet and you wrap around his neck. You two have never hugged before so he’s a little confused. Jake’s not the affection type but you could tell you needed this. He pats your back gently and hugs you tight until you let go. “Thank you Jake”

“Anything for my future in law”

You shower in Jake’s hotel room and wrap yourself in a robe. You ordered sushi and a martini and your stretched out in Jake’s bed. It’s a lot cleaner in here than you thought and it smells of Jake’s cologne. It’s comforting in a way. You and Jake have gotten pretty close over the years. He’s saved you from a lot of stressful situations. Either you’ve gotten too drunk and he’s holding back your hair or you’re freaking out over something small. He’s always there to step in when the other guys give you a hard time. He knows your Josh’s and because of that he’s very overprotective of you. He’s the first to punch a guy for being to friendly with you. You’ve always seen him as a protector which is why you always go to him when something’s wrong. Even if you’re not trying to seek him out he’s always there. Tonight is a perfect example of Jake’s savior tendencies.

“Open the door you prick”

“I’m not in the mood Jake”

“Guess who I ran into at the bar?”

“Oh fuck” he’s swinging open the door.

“She left”

“She actually left!” he gasp.

“Josh she’s gone why wouldn’t you stop her?”

He’s being mean but he’s trying to teach him a lesson. He doesn’t want to be this way but he knows how Josh works. This is the only way to get through to him. You fight stubborn by being stubborn.

“I tried she wouldn’t listen”

“She’s probably tired of listening to bullshit”

“Jake do you not remember what happened last time. Do you not remember how bad it was for me? My god why dont you two get it?”

“Y/n isn’t her. You can’t use that excuse anymore”

“It’s not an excuse it’s the truth!”

“Fuck Josh. She’s not gonna hurt you stop treating her like she is. You tiptoe around her like at any moment it’s going to turn south. What happened to ‘fuck fear’?”

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen” he runs his hands through his tangles curls. “I really do love her she’s all I’ve ever wanted”

“I know in your heart you mean that but you fucked up big time. She truly doesn’t think you love her because of how you’ve been treating her”

“Did she say when she was flying out?”

“As your brother it’s too late for that Josh”

“Fuck”

“I would say I’m sorry but you did it to yourself”

“Jake I can’t lose her!”

He’s pacing like a madman and his curls are pointing every which way. His eyelashes wet from tears and his cheeks pink. “Maybe this is good. Maybe you need to give her space. If there’s one thing I do know it’s that she loves you”

“Is that supposed to help? She’s gone!”

“Josh” he puts his hand on his shoulder.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Go smoke a joint and calm down. You can’t do anything to fix it tonight”

“I would fight you but I know you’re right”

Josh heads to the balcony to smoke a joint and probably order a drink or two or three …

Jake swipe his card he sighs, shutting the door behind him.

“Well don’t you look cozy?”

“How’d it go with dumbass?”

“I told him you left and he’s drowning in self pity”

“Jake! That’s so sad! I didn’t say hurt him!”

“Y/n he’s lead you on for a year and you’re six hours away from home because of him. He was going to let you fly home I stopped you remember?”

“Right”

“Uh yeah don’t be stupid. Sip your drink and forget about him for tonight”

“That’s kinda of hard when he’s across the hall”

“Yeah yeah”

He’s laying beside you on his tummy. He’s stealing your sushi and also ordered a drink. This is the hardest you’ve laughed in months. You love moments like this with him. Purely platonic love. He’s the only guy you know that has never tried to get with you even when he’s under the influence. He’s sams got a little too flirty with you all in good fun of course. You’re both pretty intoxicated and the tv is suddenly the funniest thing ever. Both of you laughing and point at the stupidest things. Even the commercials are funny. You’re pleased to hang out with Jake all night. Your fun slowly started to fade away. When out of nowhere You hear a door slam which is odd for two in the morning. Next there’s banging on the hotel door. He rushes to the door and looks through the peak hole. “Oh fuck it’s Josh”

He cracks the door to find a very drunk and very angry Josh. “I was g-going to finda snack. I-I know that laugh. Y-you you prick”

“Josh go back to your room”

“Fuck you! You’re s-shirtless! Did you two f-”

“What the hell no we didn’t! Josh shut up its two in the morning”

“Fuck you!” He shouts louder.

Sam opens the door next to Jake’s room. “Josh shut the hell up?”

“He got to drunk and he’s accusing me of sleeping with y/n”

“Y-you lied to me! She-shes in y-your room!”

“Josh I just got her content and here you come with your bullshit”

“What is happening?” Sam asked shyly.

“Y/n said she was leaving, I calmed her down, offered my room for her to stay, and I tried to teach him a lesson by telling him she left. We’ve just been drinking and watching tv that’s all. Before you showed up we were actually having a pretty good time”

“Yeah so y-you can f-fuck her!”

Sam rubs his face “Josh I’m telling you to fuck off. You are beyond stupid if you think he would do anything with y/n. Go away Josh”

“No no no I need her! I need her!” He tries to push them out of the way.

“Joshua!” They shove him back. He attempted to throw a punch but Jake shoved him making him stumble. He falls back onto his hard hotel door and now you’re angry. Angry because he’s whining for you after he gave you away. Most importantly angry because they’re being so rough with him.

“Josh” you’ve appeared behind Jake making them all jump. His eyes widen and his breath has slowed. “You are a fucking mess”

“I know y/n” he looks down.

You hold back your anger with Jake and Sam because you know they were trying to help. You disappear back into the bedroom. When you return you’ve got your sushi plate and your martini. “Come on”

“What?” He’s stumbling around the hallway. You wrap an arm around his waist to steady him.

“Thank you Jake. Goodnight Sam”

He turns to cuss out his brother “yeah goodnight and fuc-”

“Shut up and get in the room”

You awkwardly shuffle in the room and he takes a seat on the bed. Neither of you look at each other. You live in painful silence before speaking to him.

“I guess you do love me huh?”

“Yes I fucking love you y/n”

“I never bought a plan ticket I just needed to clear my head”

“You didn’t have t-to scare me so bad. I thought I lost you” he’s still struggling to get the words out correctly.

“Maybe that’s what you needed to figure your shit out. Oh and I know about Brooklyn”

“Oh fuck y/n I’m sorry I-”

“Look I get it Josh but that’s doesn’t excuse the way you treated me”

“I can make it up to you I promise. Please just-” it chokes out of him. “Please y/n”

That noise reminds you so much of when he’s on the edge. As much as you hate it it’s turned you on. You test the waters carefully knowing he’s still fragile.

“Breathe … Can you make it up to me?”

You step closer to him and slowly undo your robe. “Oh fuck. Like this?”

“Like what?” You stand in between his legs. Your nails rake his shoulders gently up and down. He tries hard for his gaze not to wander your body.

He closes his eyes instead, leaning into your touch “mhm feels good”

“How drunk are you?”

“I can get it up” he smiles at you.

“M’sorry I scared you but you have to understand”

“I understand and I deserved it”

“Yeah you kind of did. Hmm. I guess you’ve been bad huh?” Your voice low and seductive.

A sly grin appears on his face. He’s enjoying this a little too much already. “So bad mama”

No words spoken you just point to the pillows. He rushes to obey you. “Good boy”. You straddle his waist and feel him through his boxers.

“Mhmm” he closes his eyes.

“Gotta stay with me baby”

“I’m here I’m right here. What you gonna do to me darling?”

“What am I gonna do? I’m gonna ride you until I’m done with you. And you gonna be a good boy and fucking take it”

“Oh fuck baby” he whines but you’re having none of it.

“Shut up”

You’re ripping off his boxers and stripping off his shirt. “Touch me. My god touch me”

“Enough”. You laid a hard slap to the side of his thigh making him shiver. He bites his lip trying to be a good boy for you.

He’s hard. Insanely hard. He’s swollen, bright red, and his tip aggressively leaks of pre cum. “So hard huh Josh? Oh so pretty for me sweetheart. Does your cock hurt baby?”

You’re speaking so vulgar it’s killing him. Normally it’s Josh doing all the dirty talk as he rambles on. Now it’s you and he thinks he’s fallen for you even more. Well if he could think about anything besides your pussy right now.

“Hurts so bad mama. So fucking bad”. He looks down at his cock with burrowed eyebrows. “Hm so hard”

“So hard”

You’re unbelievably soaking wet and you fight to stay focused. You start to slide your clit on his cock. “You’re so wet mama” it grunts out him.

He reaches down to feel you but you swat his hand. “No touching”

“But-”

“Am I gonna have to shove these in your mouth or are you gonna be good?” You tease your panties at him before throwing them his way.

“I’m gonna be good! I’m gonna be so good. So patient”

“Good boy”

He lives for your approval and gentle praise. He moans out without you even touching him. In an instant you’re sliding him inside of you and sinking down. It burns as he stretches your walls when he’s all the way in you cry out. He grips the sheets and gasp loudly. “Shit” he hisses through his teeth. His voice sounds the farthest thing from pleasure. His eyes squeeze shut and a string of grunts and moans follow.

“Josh?”

“Baby I can’t-”

“Gonna cry for this pussy? Gonna fucking cry Joshua?”

“M’sorry. So so sorry”

He’s moaning far too loud to be in a hotel room. He’s pulling at the sheets then he balls his fist and bangs them down on the bed. You let him cum as you rock back and forth. He starts to calm but you don’t stop if anything you speed up. He gasp out and reaches for you hips. “Didn’t I say no touching?”

“Y/n! Fuck! Please!”

“Oh you poor pathetic thing. Look at you Josh. Such a mess for me already? Fucking destroyed”

“I can’t-” it barely croaks out of him as you fuck yourself on his cock.

“Do you need your safe word?”

He shakes his head and you slow down a little bit. “You gonna let me cum?”

“Fucking use me y/n!”. Tears start to fall from the crease in his eyes.

“There’s my boy. Don’t cry baby I know how overstimulated this dick must be huh?” You say leaning down to wipe his tears.

You throw your head back grinding hard on his throbbing cock. He’s watching you in awe as if you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Because you are. You’re getting close and he can feel you squeezing him. Reminding him he’s not far from another orgasm. “M’close”

“I know you’re squeezing my cock so tight baby. Hugging him so good”

“You’re not far behind are you sweet boy?”

“Mhm gonna cum. Gonna cum so fucking hard”

Without another word because you both can’t form one. It’s intense and nearly impossible how hard both of you are cumming. His release starts to leak out of your cunt. Dripping down to your thighs. Your core and legs shake with pleasure. You’ve got him whining and whimpering out. He sounds so pretty and so fucked out. The noises that flow from both of you is nothing but a pornographic daydream. It’s the only thing you can focus on anymore. A beautiful filthy angelic harmony that only you two can understand. As he starts to calm you wonder how much he’s got left. You should stop. You should roll over and lay next to him, catching your breath. Whisper sweet things to him and cuddle up on his warm body. But do you?

Your hips start to roll and he looks terrified. “Y/n you’re gonna kill me!”

“Gotta empty that cock baby. I want it all”

“You’ve got it all mama please”

“One more pretty boy. Can you be sweet and give me one more?”

He looks like he’s in pain but he nods “of course I can”

Such a sweet and innocent response. You can see pure euphoria shimmering in his eyes. He’s gone yet he still smiles up at you waiting on your command.

You’re bouncing up and down on him. His eyes start to roll but you order him to focus on you. Every move you make is followed by a whimper and his body is nearly limp.

“I-I can’t. My cock hurts mama” he cries.

“Yes you can Josh look at me” You grab his face in your hands “I’m almost there my love. Take it baby can you take it?”

“Mhm I-I … I can take it” he whispered. He’s got a steady stream of tears down his cheeks. He reaches out to touch you and you allow it. He’s squeezing your breast and gripping your hips. He’s a complete mess just like you wanted. He’s so so so crazy beautiful like this. Sweat drips from his curls, his cheeks pink as ever, and his eyes glossy with pleasure and pain. You’ve never seen something so beautiful. Beautiful is a complete understatement. He’s … Ethereal. He can’t be real. You hovering above him but he can’t be. He’s so soft and gentle you can hold him like water in your hands. Too fragile for this rough and crazy world. He’s an angel that must have fell down from the heavens. It must be true he can’t be human. It’s few and far between when things in this world are flawless. Yet he lays before you completely perfect. His body sculpted from the gods. His personality built and crafted from all the things that make him Josh. That make him perfect. Tears are failing from your own eyes. You realize now you love him with every bone in your body. Every time your heart beats it beats for him. Your lungs breathe for him. You think without him you would just crumple away into nothing. You live for him. You love him. Your angel so ethereal. So wonderful and full of life. Your baby. Sweet sweet Joshua.

Your Joshua

“Oh Josh” you cry “you’re so beautiful my love. I love you Josh please don’t leave”

“I’m right here” he squeezes your hand.

His voice strained by whimpers as he speaks so gently to you. “I love you y/n. My god I love you”

“I love you too J-”

Your name is all he knows as he repeats it over and over. Like a prayer seeping from his lips. He can’t even warn you that he’s tipped over the edge but you know. A borderline screams rips out of his lungs as you cries for you. A hand reaches over his mouth as you whisper to him.

“So loud for me baby boy. So good … so” you start to trail off. Your own orgasm crashing down over you. You’ve collapsed on top of him you wish to stay there but know his throbbing cock needs a break. “Josh?”

His body is twitching and shaking. You fear you might have been too much. When he turns to you with a weak smile you feel better. “I know it’s supposed to be a punishment but I’ve never been fucked so good”

You smile at him lazily “I love you stupid”

“I love you and my cock definitely loves you”

“Hold me?”

“I’ll hold you forever my sweet girl. As long you let me”

“Good thing too because I’m never letting go. Took long enough to get you”

“You’ve always had me. I’m gonna be better to you okay? I’m gonna love you the way I should have in the first place”

“Can you start by ordering more sushi?” You tease playfully knowing the restaurant lobby is far from open.

He laughs the way you love so damn much. You rest your head on his chest, immediately being clouded by tiredness. His eyes are closed and a faint smile is present on his face. “Maybe tomorrow m’so sleepy”

“Goodnight Josh” you whisper.

He whispers back “Goodnight sweet girl. Pretty girl. My girl”

“All yours”

[ifimdreaming]

Can i request Jack hughes x reader? I beg you

drive home

jack hughes x reader

word count: 600

a/n: unedited blurb

-

“Can you just tell me when were close? Im gonna have a nap” you say as you rest your head on the side of the window, trying to get as comfortable as possible in the passengers seat of Jacks car as he drives you both back to his condo after a night out.

“But im gonna be bored…” he says and you immediately feel bad

Jack already agreed not to drink at all tonight so he could drive you home, you felt even worse making him drive while you slept

“Fine, but you have to keep me awake” you say and rub your eyes, sitting up in your sit to prevent yourself from dozing off

“Oh i can keep you awake’’ he says as he rolls down all of the windows and turns up the music in his car to almost full volume, making you flinch in surprise and grab his wrist to stop him from turning it up any louder

“Jack! Enough! Ok!” you say before laughing uncontrollably and he just sings along to whatever country song is currently blasting through the speakers as he drives down the freeway 

As he continues singing, you have no choice but to just sing along with him, your more just a little drunk self loving every second of it after being brought out of your tired state

If you were 100% sober currently, maybe your decisions would be a little different but that was not the case

You lean over and begin kissing the side of Jacks neck and running a hand up and down his thigh, your goal wasnt to distract him, although you knew there was definitely a possibility of that happening

“Baby we cant right now” Jack says as he continues focusing on the road, wanting to get you both home safely and in one piece

“But i want youuu jackyy” you say as you lean away from his neck, staring into his eyes as your hand still rests dangerously high on his upper thigh

He looks down at your hand before locking his eyes with yours, lust plastered all over htem 

Your hands on him felt so electric, it was so hard for him to resist you

“Not tonight.” he spits out. He knew ifhe wasnt stern with you he would fall directly into your trap

“Yes tonighttt” you say with a giggle and grab his right hand off of the steering wheel, caressing and kissing it softly

As much as your temptation was so hard for jack to resist, he knew just  how drunk you were currently

“Im sorry baby, i want you too but youre drunk” jack says to you so sweetly, trying his best to let you down softly. He rolls up the windows and turns the music down a little so you know he is not playing around

You turn your body away from him after hearing his words, you knew pouting was not going to get what you wanted, but you sure did want to show him it made you upset

“ ill make it up to you i promise baby” jack says, trying not to upset you in your inebriated state anymore than he already has

“You always say that” you say rolling yours eyes

Jack reaches for your hand and holds it in his, his thumb stroking it gently

“And dont i always make it up to you?” He asks

“.....Mhm’’ you say reluctantly after much hesitation. You didnt wanna admit he was right. But he did always make it up to you

“I promise” he repeats as he looks over to you. Making sure you know he really means it.

-

-

[tboynightmare]

rewatching yellowjackets in preparation of s3 and noticing so much symbolism in jackie. like in the beginning we see her talking to coach martinez and we literally get told how she isnt the fastest or the most technically skilled of the girls on the team but she is still the leader because she has the ability to hold them together and the charisma to make them listen to her. we see this when shauna fights with tai and everyone starts in on each other after what happens to allie. when jackie is the one to tell them that enoughs enough and that they need to overcome their differences for the sake of the team. we even see her try to take on this role again when they crash, even though she probably shouldnt have, and she tells shauna to leave van in the plane. luckily, but sort of unluckily for jackie, van is able to escape on her own. though it is good that van didn't die, i believe this was the first straw that starts jackies transition from the fearless, confident leader of the group to the outcast.

after van saves herself (which im not mad about btw. i LOVE van) and there is that resentment against jackie in her, it makes it a lot easier for everyone to turn on her. on top of it all, although she is a good leader, jackie isnt able to assume that role because she cant find a purpose. not being able to provide or help the group in any lasting way is just another reason for them to feel like she isnt needed, like they could easily survive without her. we see this building when shauna goes to try to teach her to be a butcher and, as theyre walking away, mari and akilah (?) give her a look. also when shauna outright tells her she cant just go on doing nothing. at least on the soccer team she was doing something, but here, with no tasks shes willing or able to complete, she has no leg to stand on. theres really no reason for anyone to listen to her.

it only gets worse from then on, the tension peaking after doomcoming. regardless of how high and drunk they were, they scared the shit out of jackie and never apologize to her for it. everyone just kind of expects her to get over it. besides, she had tried to "steal" travis in their eyes, despite nat and travis not even being together anymore. not to mention her accidentally and unknowingly causing the break up in the first place. her anger with the girls for not easily forgetting the night before i think is honestly the last straw for all of them. that is why they dont really care when jackie tells them that shaunas baby is jeffs. thats why lottie tells ben not to step in when the fight escalates. thats why they ultimately leave her in the dust. she loses her reliability and trustworthiness in their eyes through her inability to assimilate to life in the wilderness as a whole, meaning she loses her status completely as the head of the team.

despite all this, she is able to hold them together like she did at home in the end. her final act of generosity and love for her team is giving her body, the meat she provides when she is steamed by the pyre and snow. even though for almost all of her stay with them in the wilderness, she hardly did anything to help, in the end, she carries them through one more night, her warmth filling their aching bellies and satisfying their hunger.

[xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox]

Rumination

Ruminate

(v.) To think about something deeply

After Edward left her, Bella Swan fell apart. Desperate to try and save his eldest daughter, Charlie brings his youngest daughter to Forks to see if she can bring her sister out of her depression.

Now, y/n must try to help her sister find her way back to the light while also trying to navigate her Junior year of high school in the odd town of Forks.

---

Chapter Ten: Reconciliation

Now Playing: Atlantis by Seafret

Warning: mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, mentions of violence while drunk, mentions of messy divorce, mentions of gambling, mentions of severe depression, mentions of fighting, lmk if I missed anything please! Also, there’s nothing super explicit, just my interpretation of Paul’s backstory as he explains to reader

I was lounging on the couch watching crappy movies today. Paul and Seth had joined me as the others were either on patrol or helping Emily shop. I was laying on the couch, my head propped against the arm. Paul had lifted my feet when he walked over after switching patrols with Jared, and sat down before putting my legs back over his lap. Seth was sprawled out on the floor, his hair neatly pulled back from when I did his hair earlier.

After a while, Emily came back with the boys and her groceries and we started to put them away.

Midway through, Jacob bounded in with my sister in tow.

“Look at that,” Paul crooned, “Bella’s come back home! You get sick of the leeches yet, or did they get sick of you?”

I smacked him hard in the ribs as I pushed past him, standing with my arms crossed in front of my sister. She looked down at her shoes, and I waited in icy silence.

“Why don’t you come help us put away the rest of the groceries, Jacob?” Sam asked pointedly, “Give the Swan sisters some time to… catch up.”

He hastily followed direction, almost tripping over to the kitchen. I didn’t watch him go.

“Edward told me about Victoria and the treaty,” she blurted out, “Jacob said the same thing.”

I watched her in silence.

“Do you, um, know what they’re going to do about it?” She asked, glancing up to look me in the eyes.

“Paul told me.” I responded shortly, watching her expression. Unable to resist, I asked, “Did Edward tell you?”

She paused, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” I said, waving her off, “Just that he seems so reluctant to tell you anything until it’s nearly too late. Or until he gets a nudge from someone else.”

“Jacob—” she started, cut off by a sharp laugh.

“Jake wasn’t the one to talk Edward into telling the truth,” Paul said, his voice filled with mocking pity. His arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. I watched my sister put it together, turning to me looking almost hurt.

“Why did you not tell me?” She asked, and I scoffed.

“Edward knew before I did, and yet he only told you when I threatened to do exactly that, Bella.” I responded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “He put you in this mess, and yet he’s still the one acting like you don’t have a right to know.”

She was silent before she switched the topic.

“It’s been a while since I was over here,” she said slowly, “How’s everyone doing?”

“Good.” I said flatly, “That’s the answer you’re looking for, right? Anything else would make you feel guilty because you wouldn’t pull your head out of Edward’s ass long enough to think about it.”

She glared at me for a moment, her hands clenched at her side. She took a deep breath, angrily telling me, “So, what, Y/n? Huh? You want me away from Edward, but you don’t want me here? Which is it, because you cant have both!”

“It doesn’t really matter what I want, does it?” I bite back, aware that everyone in the kitchen was listening closely. “You didn’t ask me when you decided to have a vote on what happens to your soul, did you?”

She opens her mouth to respond, but I barrel on, “You didn’t ask me how I felt when you started bringing that sparkly piece of shit—”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” She interrupted, and I just laughed.

“Oh course that’s what you care about!” I mocked, still laughing. I felt hollow, betrayed. All my simmering emotions from the last few months were coming to the surface, bubbling over finally.

“You’re only here because Edward’s on a hunting trip, Bella.” I spat, watching her expression shift to surprise, then guilt.

“Stay or go, Bella, I don’t care.” I sighed, “But make up your mind. None of us want to be strung along as a backup family for when your feelings get hurt by Edward and his coven of blood suckers.”

I turned, about to walk past Paul when he held his arm up, spinning me around to his chest and pushing me to the door.

“We’re gonna go to the beach.” He said, guiding me firmly to the door. I gave him an annoyed look, but he just pinched my side and kept me moving. When I tried to dig my heels in, he picked me up and carried me like it was nothing.

I suppose my weight was nothing to him, since he could pick up any of the others in their wolf forms. According to Quil, he was strong as a regular person, and that strength was only amplified after the transformation.

He put me in my truck, pulling my keys from my purse and staring it up.

“Why are we going to the beach?” I asked him tonelessly, sort of grateful that he had made the decision. I had grown protective of everyone in the house, they were just as much my family as the people related to me through blood were. Bella choosing Edward and his family over not only me, but them as well after everything they did to help her when Edward left her for dead agitated me.

“I have a short temper,” he said, “I know when someone’s gonna blow. And you, Y/n Swan, needed to be out of there before you did.”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, the side of his lip curling into a smirk, “And I don’t think you’re the type to take hostages.”

I huffed out a small laugh, leaning back in my seat to draw my knees up to my chest.

We got to the beach and sat in the cab of the truck, watching the gulls. I was quiet; I didn’t feel like arguing with him and I was slightly afraid that that’s what would happen if I opened my mouth.

“I’m not good with emotions.” He said abruptly, staring at the water, “I don’t know how to express them, other than through anger.”

I was quiet as he took a breath to continue, “I— It’s stupid to say, but Sam’s the only man I’ve ever looked up to as a father, even if he’s only a few years older than I am. I didn’t have an outstanding father like Jacob, or Embry, or Seth and Leah. He was always physically there, unlike Quil’s dad, but he was never mentally with me.”

I turned my head to look at him, resting it on my arms where they sat on my knees.

He continued, “My parents divorced when I was eight. It was messy. My mom took off for the other side of the country as soon as she could, and my dad moved in with my grandma here.”

I watched the side of his face, observing every minuscule expression he made. I watched the way his eyelashes brushed his cheeks when he closed his eyes to take a deep breath, watched the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“My dad was depressed. Mom was tired of carrying him around, so she left after falling in love with a coworker. He got so bad after she left us that he stopped going to work. He turned to drinking and gambling.” His voice was steady, but his hands were tensing and un-tensing as he spoke, messing with the hem of his shirt.

He continued, “He wasn’t a bad drunk, not really. He never hit me or Granny, just yelled a lot. He would break things sometimes, throw them around.”

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat. The AC made his hair flutter.

“He wasn’t the worst,” he said, “He wasn’t the best. I had to look up to older kids for what to do, and they were always fighting, so that’s what I did. Got into my first fight in sixth grade, Granny nearly beat my ass she was so mad. Made me wash dishes for a month.”

Again, he swallowed thickly. I watched the motion of it, my eyes trailing back to his. At this angle, they were almost jet black. The clouds moved, and they turned the color of coffee, shining and rich.

“Dad was always one extreme or the other,” he continued, “He was either a zombie, like Bella was, or he was drunk out of his mind yelling, or crying. He only got worse after Granny died.”

He was quiet for a long moment before adding, “She passed when I was fourteen. I had to get a job to try and pay the bills since Dad never worked. Granny owned her house and left it to us, but that was the extent of our luck. Sometimes we were without hot water or electricity. The school gave me lunches, and I scrounged up dinner from the place I worked at.”

“I changed when I was sixteen, two years ago, now.” He glanced at me, quickly looking away. “Sam and Jared are probably the only reasons I’m still here. Alive or in Forks, I can’t tell.”

He took another breath, “Emily and Sam kept telling me to just talk to you. I felt like every time I tried, I would end up saying something stupid and pissing you off more. Emily says I self sabotage. Sam says I’m emotionally constipated. I’m sure both are true.”

He trailed off, and I took this as a chance to speak.

I leaned over, putting my head on his shoulder.

“I know.” I said simply, watching the gulls play as I thought about what Emily had told me all those months ago. “I didn’t at first, but I do now. I know.”

He swallowed, and I felt him take a deep breath in. Slowly, he leaned his head against mine, and we sat in silence and watched the sun set over the waves.

I had the feeling that he still wasn’t telling me everything, but this was more than enough for now. I was content with this step into healing.

———

(Edited 1/5/25)

Ok guys another short-ish chapter and more info about Paul! I had googled his family life and didn’t really find much, but what I ended up going with was a theory I had seen. I think I’m going to have him go more in depth about it and probably also have reader lore drop about Charlie and Renee’s tumultuous relationship, too, and her worries for Bella bc of it (maybe that’ll lead to a convo w Edward, too)

Anyway!! Hope yall enjoyed and if yall have any requests lmk!!

Bye-bye!! ☺️

(Also the long weekend is over for me so I’m probs gonna slow down on posting and it’ll be like one post a day type thing and I might write them all over the weekend and schedule them to come out each day so I don’t forget but idk yet)

[h3ffleyswife]

"i cant hold my alcohol" (r. heffley x reader)

desc: fem! reader who's ben's little sister. drunken mishaps, you sleep in rodricks bed, just read it

warnings: slightly ooc rodrick ngl, i wrote this when i was tired lolz sry

word count: 2480

You buckle your seat belt and throw your purse on the floor of your brothers car. "We're going over to Rodricks, his parents are out of town so he's throwing a party, sound good?" Ben, your brother, says while reversing out of your guys' driveway. You furrow your eyebrows, "Rodrick? The hot one in your band?" You questioned, picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingernails. Ben looked over at you and scoffed, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. But no way would I ever let you two date. You guys would make my life a living hell." You roll your eyes and sigh, "Whatever, leave me to my fantasies, Ben."

Your brother's face contorts into one of disgust and he pulls in front of a house that you can only assume is the Heffley's. "Please, spare me with the details of your Rodrick fantasies." Ben says, putting the car in park and taking his keys. You giggle to yourself and hop out of his shitty, beat up car. You can see lots of kids already here, most of them already wasted out of their minds. Ben walks in front of you towards the front door, and your heart flutters with nerves.

Stepping through the door, the first thing that hits your nose is alcohol, and it almost makes you nauseous. Ben's already gone off somewhere, so you walk around until you can find the drinks. Peeking your head into the kitchen, there's a couple borderline fucking on Rodricks kitchen counter. You scrunch your eyebrows and turn around, there didn't seem to be any drinks in there anyways.

It takes you about five minutes and squeezing your way through a bunch of intoxicated, smelly teens, but you finally find the drinks. Gwen Stefani is blasting in your ear while you pour yourself a coke mixed with a little bit of whatever shitty alcohol Rodrick managed to get his hands on. You take a sip, there's not too much alcohol in the drink, which is good. You don't plan on getting drunk tonight.

Rodrick is standing in a corner of his living room, chatting it up with his band members when Ben walks up to him. Rodrick greets him with a high five and a large grin on his face, "What's up dude? What took you so long?!" Chris asks Ben, also giving the boy a high five. "Sorry guys, my sister took hella long to get ready, but we made it!" Ben said and took a sip of his drink, he's lucky you already agreed to being designated driver, because there was enough alcohol in his cup to kill a victorian child. Rodricks ears perked up at the mention of you, "Your sister's here?" Rodrick questioned Ben, who looked at him with a raised brow. "Yeah.. she's somewhere around here, why? Is that okay? She's in our grade, it's not like I brought my 7 year old sister or anything." Ben rambles, Rodrick's now scanning the room for your familiar face.

It's been a running "joke" between the band that Rodrick has a thing for you, Ben's sister, for a while now. Any time you showed up with Ben to practice because of convenience, Rodricks playing would be off, and he'd be distracted the whole practice. There was just something about you, Rodrick thought to himself. "Hey man, stop daydreaming about Ben's sister!" Chris waves his hand in front of Rodricks face and laughs, making Rodrick blink a couple times before laughing nervously and looking at Ben. Ben rolls his eyes before making eye contact with Rodrick, "I wouldn't actually be upset if you tried to date my sister, but I swear on my mother, Rodrick, that I will put you six feet under if you screw her over." Ben places his hand on Rodricks shoulder and tightens his grip, making Rodrick gulp nervously before nodding quickly, "Of course dude, I wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt her!" He swats Ben's hand away, "I have business to attend to, gentlemen." Rodrick shouts, walking- maybe skipping- away to go find you. Ben sighs and takes another swig of his drink while Chris laughs to himself, turning to go try and talk to a girl.

You're leaning against a wall, starting to get mildly bored, when someone taps your shoulder. Turning around, you see Rodrick. Your face immediately gets hot and you give him a small smile, "Hey!" Rodrick says with a smile, giving you a quick once-over. You pretend not to see him looking you up and down, feeling an unfamiliar feeling in your stomach. "Hey Rodrick, how's it going?" You ask, your voice shaky and hands clammy enough to open a seafood restaurant. You cleared your throat awkwardly, normally, you were able to hold a conversation with him, why was it so different now? Rodrick gives you a nervous smile and stutters out a reply, "Well, throwing a party is way harder than it seems, y'know. How've you been? I don't really see you around school much." He smiles at you and you feel like you've just levitated off of the ground, "Haha, yeah I bet. I'm not doing too bad, just kind of doing my own thing, you know? I haven't been doing a lot recently, but I did just pick up a new guitar the other day, learning it's been kind of a pain in the ass though." You find yourself starting to ramble. Rodrick just looks at you and melts into your voice, nodding at certain parts. "You should teach me how to play once you've got it down. I could teach you how to play the drums, not to flex or anything, but I'd say I'm pretty good" Rodrick says and crosses his arms, smirking to himself. You laugh and shake your head, "If you sound anything like you did a couple months ago, I think I'll pass on those lessons, Rodrick" You giggle, watching his face fall.

"Hey! I've improved, thank you! And I wasn't even that bad..." Rodrick looks away with a pink face, and you find yourself smiling at the boy. "Sorry, sorry. I'll have to take you up on those drum lessons, then." Rodrick looks at you and laughs, "You want another drink?" You look at your empty cup and shrug, "Sure, why not."

Rodrick leads you into the dining room where he had drinks laid out on the table, "Let me make you something, are you driving later?" He asks you, and you pause, "I could find a ride home". He raises his eyebrow, "You could always just crash over here if that's okay with you?" Your stomach twists in excitement and you nod, "That's fine by me, why are you trying to get me drunk, Heffley? Don't try anything funny" You say and take the drink he's made you out of his hands, throwing him a smirk afterwards. Rodrick's eyes go wide and he stutters and trips over his own words, "W-wait!! I'm not trying- that's not-" You cut him off by laughing loudly, shaking your head. "I'm just giving you a hard time, if I didn't want to drink, I wouldn't have agreed to you making me drink." Rodrick lets out a loud sigh and playfully glares at you, "Gave me a heart attack" He grumbles and you giggle again, taking another sip of your drink. It was pretty strong, and you realized you should tell your brother to figure out a ride home because you were no longer going to drive him home. You take another sip, "Hey, do you know where my brother is by any chance? I need to tell him i'm not gonna drive him home, maybe Chris can?" Your words start to slur together and Rodrick nods, "I'll go find him and tell him, stay right here, 'kay?" You nod and pour yourself another drink.

Rodrick shuffles through his now, very full, house and looks for Ben. He finally catches sight of the boy, but he's on his way out of the house. "Ben! Hold on-" Rodrick catches him walking out the door, Ben looks back and tilts his head to the side, "What's up dude?"

"Hey, do you have a ride home tonight?" "I was about to leave and drive mysel- oh shit I forgot about my sister, have you seen her?" Rodrick swallows nervously, "Yeah, we've been hanging out all night. Is she cool to stay here tonight? No funny business, I promise! She's just starting to get kind of drunk, and I need to stay home to like... supervise this party, you know?" Ben sighed and nodded, "Yeah, that's cool. Let me know if I need to come get her at any point. Don't do anything stupid, Rodrick. See you at practice tomorrow." Ben says, shutting the door after he does. Rodrick hopes he's not overly upset with him.

Making his way back to the dining room, Rodrick sees you beeline to the bathroom in front of him suddenly. He looks around confused for a moment before quickly following you to the bathroom, making sure you're okay. You slam the door behind you and Rodrick can hear the sound of you throwing up on the other side of the door. He winces and knocks on the door gently, "Hey, it's Rodrick, can I come in?"

There's a pause of silence. Rodrick can hear you cough, and then throw up again. After a minute or so passes, your voice can be heard weakly behind the door, "...come in". Rodrick opens the door, shoves himself in the bathroom and then quickly shuts it behind him again. You look up at him with tears in your eyes from throwing up, and the sudden motion of looking up makes you nauseous again, immediately throwing your head back towards the toilet bowl. Rodrick quickly kneels down next to you and holds your hair behind your head, and rubs your back.

After you're done throwing up, you look back at Rodrick, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw up like that. I can't hold my alcohol very well, I guess" You say, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting anything but to be here right now. Rodrick shushed you and tucked your hair behind your ear, "Here, I have a shirt you can change into, do you want pajama pants too? I'll get you water and you can lay down in my bed." He offers, holding you and slowly standing you up. You shake your head, "You don't have to do tha-" "I want to do that, do you need me to walk you upstairs? Or do you got it while I grab you some water?" He asks gently while walking you out the door. Your face turns pink and you sigh, knowing you couldn't avoid it now. "I got it, which room is yours?" "All the way down the hall and to the left, you'll know which one when you open it." He says, smiling and walking away to grab you a glass of water once he sees that you're walking up the stairs. Once you're up the stairs, you go to the room Rodrick told you to. Surprisingly, his room isn't terrible. Could it use some tidying up? Yeah, but for a teenage boy, it was fairly well kept. You sit down on his bed and wait for him, slipping your shoes off.

Rodrick opens the door, and cracks a small smile once he sees you sitting in his bed. You look up and give him a small smile back, grabbing the glass of water he offers you. He walks over and opens his wardrobe, grabbing you a black graphic tee and some pajama bottoms. When he hands you the clothes, you notice that he gave you one of his Loded Diper tee's, and you smile to yourself while your heart flutters. "I think I have these same pajama pants" You state, the pants looking very familiar. Rodrick laughs, "We should totally match, wouldn't that be cute?" He says, with a joking tone, but he meant it.

You looked up and giggled, "Turn around for a minute while I change" Rodrick's face goes red, and he nods before turning around. You take your shirt off and put on the Loded Diper shirt. It smells like cheap cologne and... Rodrick. You can't describe how he smells, but it makes your heart jump in your chest. You slide your pants off and put on the pajamas, looking up at Rodrick, who's still staring into the wall, focusing on anything but the fact that there's a hot girl changing in his room. "You can turn back around, Rodrick"

He turns around and his stomach flutters at the sight of you in his clothes. "Drink some water and lay down, you can go to bed if you want to. I'll sleep on the floor tonight." Rodrick says, taking a pillow off his bed and tossing it lightly on the floor. "I can sleep on the floor, Rodrick, I don't mind" "No, I'm not making a pretty girl sleep on the floor, do you think I'm crazy?" He says, almost offended at the thought of letting you sleep on his floor. You blush, and look away awkwardly with a quiet laugh. He smiles at you, and walks towards his door. "I'm gonna go tell people to go home, I'll be back up in a minute" You nod and he leaves the room.

Laying back in his bed, the situation you're in starts to sink in.

You're in Rodrick Heffley's bed. And you're wearing his clothes. What the fuck? Your heart pounds and you turn onto your side, closing your eyes and cuddling into his pillow. It wont hurt to close your eyes for a minute until Rodrick gets back.

Rodrick goes around downstairs, telling people that they should start to head home because it's getting late. People leave, and Rodrick has to kick a couple people awake off of his living room floor. He looks around at the mess that he'd have to deal with tomorrow and sighs. He'd probably just get Greg to help him with it.

Rodrick walks up the stairs and gently opens his bedroom door. He walks in, shutting the door behind him and then looks over to you, and his heart soars. He swears he can feel his heart pouring out of his chest, how was it possible for a girl to look so beautiful? He walks over to your sleeping figure and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You're so pretty.." He says quietly, and kisses the side of your head.

Rodrick makes himself a makeshift bed on his floor, staring at the small portion of your sleeping figure that he can see. "Goodnight" He says to you with a smile, turning over, thinking about you.

What an eventful night.

hey!!! first fic in a while, let me know if you'd want a part two, thx!!

[iheartjameshetfield]

ive had this idea festering here for a bit……. but 02-06 james (specifically when he was larger/beefier) getting so pussy-drunk while eating u out from behind that he literally lifts your knees off of the bedsheets by hooking his arms under the crook of ur hip and putting his hands on the small of ur back…….. just saying :]

y’all i cant breathe

I CANT FUCKING BREATHE

he’d have you on your hands and knees, forcing you to arch your back as much as you can as he pushes your head into the bed so he could access your cunt as best as he can

you let out a gasp when you feel his spit falling directly onto your folds, his thick fingers spreading it all the way to your clit and back

“so fucking wet, so pretty. all for me…” he breathes out, more for himself than to you.

he leans back on his knees to eat you out at a better angle. his tongue pokes at your entrance before delving in, sliding in and out, lapping your wetness.

he delivers a harsh suck, moaning into you, sending waves of pleasure vibrating through you. you lean back to grind into his face a bit, your hole clenching around nothing.

you can feel him smile into you as he sloppily makes out with your cunt, slick wet sounds filling the room along with your moans of pleasure. james lets out a grunt of frustration when he couldn’t mouth at your clit, so he brings up his thumb to harshly rub, your whole body jolting at the action.

he uses his nose to stroke your insides, his tongue moving around freely inside of you, his sole purpose to make you feel good. he feels that he could still make you feel more pleasure, wanting to see you come undone from just his mouth.

frustratedly, he growls into you, his hands firmly grasping your hips to pull you closer to his mouth, but it wasn’t enough for him. he sits up on his knees as his strong hands hook underneath your thighs, your knees lifting as he’s reaching around your hips as he grasps your ass for leverage, making you practically sit on his face but from another angle.

“james!” you let out a loud gasp, clutching tighter onto the bedsheets beneath you from his sudden movements. from this angle, he can easily reach your clit, his tongue swirling circles on it. his teeth graze your folds as he does so, groans traveling through your cunt and to your whole body

he continues mouthing at you, ignoring your pleads of slowing down when your whole body thrashes. he could feel your clit twitch underneath his tongue, letting him know you’re close to your release.

“james, james no stop, i— i cant”

“yes you can, gorgeous, cum for me, you can do it” his mouth pulls away temporarily to encourage you as you crying out, biting the sheets to muffle your screams

he goes back to continue his abuse on your cunt, his boxer’s achingly tightening around his cock, groaning into you. it was when he delivered a specifically harsh suck when you felt the familiar tightness in your abdomen go loose.

you cum in hot spurts, james’ mouth opening with his tongue sticking out to welcome the stickiness. his eyes practically rolls to the back of his head when he tastes your release, feeling your body quivering underneath his touch. you let out high pitched moans and squeals, pushing yourself back, feeling his nose nudge your clit. you feel your slick go down your thighs and james truly believes he’d die a happy man if this was his way to go.

“ohhh yeah, just like that, good girl”

slowly, he sets you back down on the bed, his mouth never leaving your pussy. he caresses your sides as you lay limp on the bed, his hands skirting toward the soft skin as your ass as he murmurs sweet words, lapping up the last drops of your cum.

04 james could do whatever the fuck he wants to me and i’d thank him 🙏🙏

[marksmelodies]

stuck like glue

“tangled in love stuck by you from the glue”- glue song by beabadoobee

paring: chenle x fem! reader

genre: smut,fluff

warnings: mention of sex, oral (f), unprotected sex, cussing, kissing

note: i know chenle lives on his own but for the sake of this story pls pretend that he lives in the dreamies dorms lol

no proof read

minors dni

———————————————————————————————Chenle has been away on tour for a little over a month. Tomorrow him and the dreamies will arrive back to korea, you’ve never been more excited to finally see your boyfriend again,You already took off a few days of work and told your professors that you won’t be in class for a few days.Of course Chenle didn’t seem supper happy about you calling off of work and missing school just to see him But deep down he was excited to finally get some alone time with you

“I cant wait to see you lele, Daegal and i miss you so much” you say to your boyfriend over facetime

“ I miss my girls too, thanks again for taking care of her while i was away” Chenle says

“ It’s not a problem babe i mean i’m basically her mom am i not??” you ask

“ What?? no Daegal has no mom only a dad” he says

“ Oh right Chenle that’s why she wines and claws at the door when i leave the dorms”

“ You’re such smart ass Y/n”

“I really do miss you though babe,ask Jisung I talked his ear off every night about you, actually don’t ask jisung or any of the members anything.. forget what i said” He starts rambling and you notice that his ears are turning bright red

“And why’s that lele?” you ask with a smirk on your face

“ Uhh i may or may not have drank a bit to much one night after our show and accidentally spilled to jisung, mark and renjun about how good you are in bed” he says extremely embarrassed

Your eyes go wide as you audibly gasp

“ You did not” you say rather loudly

“ I’m sorry babe i was drunk i doubt they even remember it, i only remember so much i don’t know what else i said” he tries to defend himself, You start laughing uncontrollably

“ That’s actually hilarious, i never see you that drunk” you say making fun of him “You’re such a brat” he laughs

Once your FaceTime call ends with Chenle you tidy up your apartment that you both agreed he would stay at for a few days once he gets home from tour. You get ready to head to bed and say goodnight to daegal

“ Your daddy is gonna be here tomorrow!!” you say in a high pitched voice causing Daegals head to slightly turn, ears to purk up and tail to wag “ I know i’m excited too” you say as you pet her head and turn off the light ,It feels like hours have passed since you closed your eyes, it’s hard to sleep because of the excitement running through your veins,Finally you feel yourself drifting off to sleep

You shoot up and look at the clock that reads 2:45 am you woke to up the feeling of sweat dripping down your face, you realize that your whole body is drenched in sweat “ What the hell” you say in utter confusion as you get up to check the thermostat “ Why isn’t my air conditioner working” you say pressing buttons on the screen

You walk out into the hallway to check if air is flowing through the hall,Sure enough the hallway is cold yet your apartment is sweltering hot “ You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me” you say as you walk back into your place

Turning on every fan you can find and placing them towards you and Daegal it finally felt a little bit better but not nearly enough to spend anymore time other than tonight in your apartment , Once the morning came you called the tenant about the air conditioner “ What three to five days just to get someone to check it out?” you say baffled

“ Sorry ma’am our technicians are booked out for a while” the man says on the other side of the phone

“ Alright well thanks anyways” you say as you hang up “god this is not how i wanted my week to start” You called your boyfriend to tell him about the air, Chenle talked to the members and they all agreed that you could spend a few days at the dorm until your air conditioning gets up and running. you’ve spent the night a few times at the dorm but never more than just one night at a time, you felt bad intruding on the other boys place but living without air conditioning during the hottest season in korea was a big no for you

Once you got the text that Chenle has landed and is on his way to the dorms you begin to make your way there as well. Standing at the entrance a wave of nervousness comes over you as you knock on the door “ Y/n come in” Jeno says while giving you a big smile “ Hi Jeno it’s good to see you” you say

“ It’s good to see you too, Chenle is in his room” he says You thank him and head towards your boyfriends room knocking on Chenles door before opening it. Daegal jumps out of your arms running to her dad “ Daegal my sweet girl i’ve missed you” he says bending down to pet her “Uhmm” you clear your throat standing at the doorway as Daegal runs out of the room to see the other members

“ I told you she loves me more” chenle says laughing

“ Really lele i haven’t seen you in over a month and this is how you greet me” you scoff in annoyance

“ Babe i’m kidding come here” he says as he walks towards you engulfing you into a big hug

“ I missed my baby girl” he says to you while kissing the top of your head.You lay on his bed and let him get settled and unpacked before demanding his undivided attention,You lay on Chenle chest while you both talk for what seems like hours about his tour,He tells you everything from start to finish, and you excitedly listen to him.When you both are done talking he decides you two should go out and hang with the rest of the guys

Chenle walks to the door about to leave the room when he realizes that you aren’t behind him “ Come on babe let’s go” he says waving you over to walk towards the door

You don’t say anything

Chenle walks back over to you and you throw your arms up in the air.Chenle makes a confused face.He knows that what you want is to be held; He also knows that you absolutely hate pda and would rather die than to show affection in front of the other boys so why would you want him to carry you out there?

Chenle shoves his confusion into the back of his mind and picks you up ,He wasn’t expecting you to want to be carried but what shocked him the most is that you clinged onto him like a koala, he took both arms off of you to open the door and you’d stayed clinging to him with your arms and legs wrapped tightly around your boyfriend ,You laid your head on his shoulder as he walked to the living room where the rest of the dreamies were hanging out

The boys all look at Chenle as he walks into the room, never in the three years you and Chenle have been together have they seen any type of affection being given between you two,There’s been times where haechan jokingly asked if you and Chenle were really dating because of the lack of a skinship “ you guys don’t even hug around us, that’s suspicious is it not”

The guys say a lot with there faces but no one voices anything out loud, Chenle shot a “i don’t know what’s going on” look at them and sat down on the couch with you still wrapped around him.The dreamies decide to play video games and of course Chenle was down to beat them all, through the entire gaming session you stayed wrapped around him not saying a word. Although Chenle didn’t seem like it he was honestly pretty worried about you, you never act like this in front of people

Of course behind closed doors you were affectionate towards him, but even then you were never this clingy

“ Babe i want to get something to drink” he whispered into your ear,No response came from you, you just looked at him and put you head back onto his shoulder.He got up and walked to the kitchen with you wrapped around him, opening the cabinets and the fridge he poured himself a cup of water, while you stayed clung to him completely unbothered. He goes back to gaming with the boys taking his mind off worrying about you

Later in the evening Jaemin starts making dinner, usually chenle and Jaemin cook dinner for everyone,Chenle looks over at Jaemin who’s in the kitchen and gives him a “ i’m sorry bro” kinda look followed by Chenle looking down at you and then back to Jaemin,Jaemin didn’t mind though he grabbed Jeno to help him make dinner

“ Hey babe you wanna let go for a second so i can use bathroom ” he asks, you just shake your head no, with that chenle sighs and takes you with him,He puts you on the bathroom counter and you finally unlatch from him “ everything okay baby?”You say nothing, just give him a quick nod as he comes back over to the sink to wash his hands and you latch right back onto him.Chenle really thought he finally got you off of him, he just looked at you confused again and kissed your forehead while walking back to the living room

He ate dinner with you wrapped around him, he asked if you were hungry, you shook your head no,At this point chenle gave up just letting it happen, everyones so confused by what’s going on, especially since you hadn’t said a word since you came out of Chenles room hours ago

After dinner Chenle did the dishes with you wrapped about him, he fed Daegal with you wrapped around (him which was pretty challenging he’ll admit) he played more games with you clung to his body. The guys suggested watching a movie and started scrolling through netflix debating on which one to choose

“ You wanna watch the movie with them or go back into my room” Chenle asks hoping for an answer.You just shrug your shoulders while your head is buried into the crook of his neck.Chenle has honestly had enough, he doesn’t know what’s going on, are you just tired? are you mad at him? are you upset? you were perfectly fine hours ago what happened??He gets up off the couch and brings you into his room sitting on the bed

“ Baby look at me” he says in a serious tone,You lift you head up off of his shoulders and look up at him

“ What’s wrong sweetheart” he asks

“ Nothing” you say shortly.Chenle is visibly getting annoyed by your short answers you’ve been giving him for hours

“ Y/n you’re pissing me off i don’t want to yell okay” he says “ what is wrong my love, saying “nothing” isn’t going to cut it”

“ I just missed you lele” you said

“ Are you sure that’s all baby”

You nod “ yes i promise i just want to be close to you” Chenle looks at you and smirks

“ I can think of a few ways we can get a lot closer than you just clinging to me” he says smirking.You laugh and push him away, he pulls you back and smashes his lips onto yours,Tongues battling for dominance you quickly lose,he flips you around so that he’s now towering over you

“ You’re so pretty lele”

“ Says you angel, god i missed everything about you” Chenle whispers in your ear,lips attached his hands roam your body unbuttoning your shirt and taking off your shorts, laying there in nothing but your undergarments Chenle pulls away from your lips to look at you “ god you’re so beautiful” he says taking off your bra chenle kisses down you body leaving a trail of marks.He gets to your heat and looks to you for approval, you nod your head yes and he begins to take off your panties, spreading your legs apart and leaves kisses on your heat before kitty licking your pussy,you instantly throw you head back into the pillow and grab Chenles hair while arching your back Chenle takes that as a sign to go farther and fully dive into your cunt, trying your best to hold in your moans knowing that right outside the door were the other members

“Fuck Chenle that feels so good” you moan softly as you tug on his hair a little harder his eyes look up to yours giving you an eye smile while hes still working to get to you finish while licking stripes up and down your pussy Chenle pushes a finger into your hole roughly going in and out

Feeling a tingly rush throughout your entire body you knew you were about to finish

“ Babe i’m about to cum” Chenle removes his finger and licks up and down your clit causing you to release,Chenle keeps one hand rubbing circles on your clit while the other hand covers your mouth, you let out a loud moan covered by chenles hand, he knew better than to leave you completely ungaged, he knows you’re a loud moaner, he could tell it was taking everything in you not to let out the normal pornagraphic moans that you usually do. After he lets go of your mouth he goes back into your pussy to ride out the rest of your high leaving both of you panting, Chenle pulls you into a kiss having you taste yourself

“Chenle please fuck me” you beg

“ Babe the guys are right outside”

“ I’ll behave i promise”

Chenle looks at you suspicious not sure whether believe you or not, you begin stroking his hard member through his grey shorts, Chenle let’s out a grunt and pins your arms beside your head

“ Don’t be greedy ” he warns while pulling his pants off and throwing them across the room with his shirt that was already long gone, he pulls down his boxers revealing his hard length, you basically drool over his dick which causes Chenle to chuckle,He pulls your hips closer as you wrap your legs around his torso, he slowly pushes in, Chenle lets out a grunt as his dick slides into the tight walls of your pussy

“ Fuck y/n you’re so tight” he says while progressively moving in and out faster “god you’re so wet too” he says right before pounding back into you

He has one hand on your waist and other covering your mouth like before,You shut your eyes feeling your body going into a different dimension

“ look at me, I wanna see my pretty girl” you look at him and make eye contact while he’s fucking you so good,you can tell he’s about to nut by the way his thrusts become sloppy and he moves faster and faster while soft moans and grunts fill the room hoping the members can’t hear what you two are doing

“ Fuck baby i’m coming” he says as he slows down his pace, you feel hot liquid shoot into your core as he fills you

He lays down on top of you but doesn’t pull out yet

“ That was amazing Chenle”

“ You felt so good my love, you did so well for me” he said as he kissed your lips and pulled out of you,you both lay there for a little bit just soaking in the presents of eachother before he gets up and puts his clothes back on heading to the bathroom, he comes back with a warm towel cleaning you up and making sure you’re okay.After not having sex for a while you were pretty sore but it was nothing major and you didn’t want to make chenle feel bad so you just smile and thank him for cleaning you up .Once you both freshen up you go join the boys in the other room to finish the ending of the movie that neither of you were there for

As he was watching the screen you were watching him, admiring how beautiful he is and how lucky you are to be with such a good guy, you thought about how many girls would kill to be in your position and a sense of pride washed over you, you were proud to be his girl.

“ Y/N is everything okay” renjun asking about earlier,all the boys look at you and Chenle

“ Yeah i’m fine thanks” you reply smiling

“ She just wanted dick” Chenle blurts out

“ What the fuck lele” your face begins to heat up as you shove Chenle

“ Yeah we have ears ” Haechan smirks at you both

“ I don’t know what your talking about” you defend yourself

“ Right because the headboard slamming into the wall which happened to the this wall” pointing at the one in front of them with the tv on it “ was from you both jumping on the bed” Haechan says sarcastically,You burry your head from embarrassment into Chenles shoulder while the boys are laughing

“ I mean you guys did make the tv shake” Mark chimes in

“Shut up your all just jealous you don’t get any” Chenle states

“ At least we know they’re a real couple, i was starting to think it was fake” Haechan laughs

—————————————————————————

my first fic! i hope you enjoyed!! my requests are open for all of nct!!

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

[bluephoric]

ridiculously long list of larry johnson hcs because fuck you he doesnt get enough love

Tw for depressing ass shit

- larry is a tired clumsy airhead, and as a result he always has SOMETHING spilled, wiped, or drawn on his clothes.

- undiagnosed adhd, and probably a few other things

- both him and sal collect bottlecaps, they like to make pins out of cool ones they find, often trading them like pokemon cards. they have multiple matching friendship ones. on common ones though, he likes to flatten and paint.

- larry's mental health generally sucks, but when things get really bad he stops caring about his physical safety, often pulling some reckless shit. even when he gets hurt from it, he doesnt seem to mind. Times like these kinda scare him, and he tries to avoid falling into them.

- despite seemingly "not caring about anything" (as he puts it) during these episodes, he's still fiercely protective of his friends and tries to be gentle with them, both physically and emotionally.

- callused hands, fingers yellowed from smoking.

- big fan of gas stations when he's high, practically raids that shit. one of his nicknames is "stoner jesus"

- he's openly bisexual and flirts with random people for fun. its usually something light. dorky pickup lines, stupid puns.. he Never expects it to be shot back at him but on the rare occasion it happens, he turns into a giggling mess.

- he actually pissed off travis even worse a few times with it, I could go into it further but this isnt a larvis post so i'll spare you all. For now.

- his favorite horror movies are the funny ones

- he isnt much of a drinker, mostly around holidays and just to get a little buzzed. spiked eggnog and fireball are his go-to's. Drunk christmas karaoke is one of his favorite things (he's constantly giving sal secondhand embarrassment). 2 words, mariah carrey.

- For awhile he genuinely tried to be a good student but because he was so far behind and his undiagnosed adhd, the teachers started to demonize him. Eventually he realized it didnt matter how hard he tried, so he just gave up. The only subject he likes is art, so that's where he focuses all his energy and actually tries.

- skips school sometimes but lisa tends to give him hell for it so he tries not to do it too often, mostly just skips certain classes if hes really not feeling it.

- almost always comes to school high

- his room is such a mess. sal tries to help him with it but he has similar struggles. whenever ash or todd come over, it becomes a group effort and shit gets done rather quickly. luckily no biohazards, so its not like his room really needs a DEEP clean but still. its nice.

- larry fucking LOVES jack black movies, also stupid stoner movies.

- Loves the arcade too, You'd think his favorite would be guitar hero, but that's more for sal. his favorite is mortal combat or those car racing games that you sit in with the steering wheel.

- larry cant cook for shit, hes always burning something, it always turns out gross and inedible. unless he's stoned, in which case he magically turns into a michelin star chef. weird ass combinations, but it always turns out really good.

- despite being shit at cooking, he still tries to help his mom with it, even though he mostly ends up just being in the way and she eventually shoos him out of the kitchen

- he smells super musky, with cheap cologne and the faint scent of weed

- when he was really little, he had a dinosaur onsie that he would wear everywhere, very rarely taking it off until it started to get too tight. he was beyond devastated when he realized he grew out of it, lisa had to pry it away from him in fear that he would accidentally destroy it. She keeps it in her closet collecting dust. Its one of the few things she kept from before jim disappeared. despite it bringing up memories of what things used to be like before he "left", she couldnt bear to throw it out.

- sometimes when larry needs comfort, he sneaks into her room and steals it temporarily. on sleepless nights, he zips it over his pillows as a makeshift pillowcase, its one of the few things that help him relax. It's always put back in place by the next morning. Lisa has no idea, and he's far too embarrassed about it to say anything to her.

- the only person who knows about this is sal because of their sleepovers. One night He was high as balls and got paranoid, when he tried to sleep it off the fear was just too much so away he crept, into lisa's room. Of course he made sal come with him, he sure as shit wasnt going alone.

- when questioned about it, larry refused to answer and so sal let it go figuring he would tell him when he was ready.

- Larry Harbors an obscene amount of guilt. struggles with sh off and on, tries not to relapse unless things get really unbearable. to prevent this, him and the SF gang (primarily ash) regularly doodle and sometimes paint on the places he's prone to harm.

- when he can feel himself slipping into an episode, larry makes it a point to braid his hair so it won't get matted. tries to brush it and rebraid it at least once a week, but often struggles to find the energy and lets it sit in for longer. Not to mention, a lot of the times he stops showering which makes it even harder to braid because of the greasiness.

- has given himself a few amateur stick and pokes. They look like shit, and he knows it but he's still very proud of them.

- the ink he uses for it fades pretty fast

- he's also tried to give himself piercings, but always fucks it up so he takes them out and slaps a bandaid over it

- collects different kinds of flavored chapstick, takes a bite out of them sometimes when he thinks no one is looking (ofc sal has caught him a few times but has never said anything)

- after he first met megan, he was scared shitless. slept with the lights on for the next few weeks and refused to shut the door when going to the bathroom, insisting to his mom on keeping the shower curtain open at all times (he tried to act chill about it around sal and it kinda worked. kinda.) after awhile he eventually calmed down but still finds himself getting really nervous whenever him and sal talk to a ghost, though he would never admit it.

- has a picture of his dad in a locket but rarely wears it because he's afraid he'll accidentally break it. always keeps it with him though, usually in his pocket, holding it as he walks.

- Despite his general demeanor he's quite the gentleman, always holding doors open and really courteous towards women. Most people don't expect it just based on his appearance, but Lisa raised him right.

- also he's hot as fuck.

- we all know larry is a metalhead, but what kind of metal is his favorite? It generally depends on his mood but id say sludge, thrash, and doom.

- You're telling me this man, who is depressed as fuck and also a stoner wouldnt eat up some electric wizard? saint vitus? bitch, please. I know quite a few albums that would bring him to his knees.

- And I know I'm prolly gonna get hate for this but I notice when a lot of other people write about larry (AND sal), they tend to lean towards nu metal or just plain emo. And while I don't think either of them would mind it, The lyrics and vocals of Sanity's fall feels more reminiscent of death or black metal and given the fact that SF is his favorite band, I don't think he would listen to that kind of stuff, at least not on a regular basis. Ash on the other hand definitely would.

[sunnnfish]

collection of shirashiro drafts, circa May 2024. because im crazy and insane. theres a lot and they're kinda long. good luck

May 13, 2024

SHIRASHIROOOOO

May 13, 2024

shirashiro. the childhood friendship. my fabiniku au. shirahamas wet paper towel swag has charmed tashiro. i could crossdress for you...? tashiro gets feelings first but hes genuinely so cool with it. doesnt even make a big deal about it. able to act completely normal except for straight up running away a few times. shirahama blushing at slightest displays of affection. especially after catching feelings. MOST IMPORTANTLY weird train rides home and playing video games together and teenage boyhood roughhousing that gets weird but shirahama has to go splash his face with water and tashiro laughs it off. they DONT get together in high school. god forbid. they go to mixers to get girlfriends til theyre at least 25. wait maybe. MAYBE. they become college roomies together cause theyre bestiessss and not weird about each other at all. bros before hoes am i right. dont worry about the sock on the door. tashiro gets a little gender too dont worry. shirahama is bi.

May 13, 2024

things about how shirahama laments bachelorhood and tashiro offers to fill in

May 14, 2024

shirashiro who dont get together in high school but go to mixers until their senior year of college, which they totally go to the same college and dorm together because theyre best friends, in which they come home from another failed mixer, midnight at best, leaning on each other halfway drunk and sad because they still cant get a girlfriend (because Something has been bubbling under the surface for a loooong time.) lighthearted crushes on girls at best, maybe on follow up date but nothing Sticks because they keep thinking about something else. nights up late playing video games, illuminated by the glow of the tv, menu music playing as they get sleepier and sleepier. nights up late playing shirahamas girly games, dating sims, tashiro telling him to pick the choices that he would like to be told. tashiros never one to keep things in, makes his affection known rather easily but shirahamas too goddamn self-deprecating that he doesnt think its real. i wanna get a girrllffriiieeennnddd... i could crossdress for you...? Comments about some scenario from his games he wants to experience, tashiro does every single one for him. doesnt say a word about anything Explicitly. he may be blunt but he does have some shame, some desire for a preservation of status quo.

May 14, 2024

they come home to a shared college dorm in senior year after another failed mixer, midnight at best, 3 AM at worst, drunk and leaning on each other lamenting their singularity again. unsaid Something keeping them from truly liking any girl enough to go steady. unsaid thoughts of Well who am i gonna play games with if you get a girlfriend. tashiro gets a little too close to a girl that night, he even seems kinda into her. shirahama feels--miffed. certainly not jealous. even though hes had half a mind to call it that recently.

witching hour and all, shirahamas haloed by fluorescent dorm lights that are far too bright for drunk 20-something year olds. shut em off... shirahama obliges, but now its too damn dark to see, dumbass. feel their way around each other and the room, moonlight replacing haloes and complimenting kyoujis hair way too well. gonzaburou looses his hair, ruffling it out of his face. unsaid somethings, blearily looking at each other in dark moonlight, socks and clothes already strewn around a college boys dorm. maybe we just werent made for girlfriends or something, one of them laughs. climbing into bunked beds, tashiro staring at the ceiling and shirahama staring at the bottom of a bed. then what were we made for? one of them echoes.

heavy with sleep, mmmmm... 'll think about it later.

#thinking about how we dont know shirahamas birthday #whos older/younger…

May 14, 2024

something about how id totally date you if you were a girl, tashiro

May 14, 2024

shirahamas like a sheep dog to me.

yknow

May 14, 2024

shirahama walks into the dorm one day to tashiro squinting in the mirror, gloves and bleach brush held over chunks of hair. "do you uhhh... need some help?" "no i uh. ive. i got it--" clearly struggling to see all the spots and Not drop bleach everywhere. "dude you need help" "ive done this before!!" "so?" walking over already, peeling the gloves off tashiros hands because those kits only ever come with one pair. tashiro pouts, shirahama pulls a chair over, "here." he grabs hair pins and properly sections it out, telling tashiro to tilt his head this way and that way, hold still man. stop pulling so hard! bleach burns at gonzaburous scalp where they put it too close. Kyouji finishes up, smoothing hair and tying a stupid plastic bag around it, takes a picture just for blackmail, snickering the whole way. Pulls up the current girly game hes playing while they wait 30 or so minutes. Tashiro makes fun of every girl. Timer goes off, washing rituals ensue—“I’ll just take a shower??” “No you cant let the bleach run down your body idiot”—puts his head under the sink, gonzaburou doesnt think too hard about the gentle massaging on his head, instead focusing on trying not to let bleach get in his eyes. Kyouji tells him to turn around and bend backwards so they can wash the front of the head. Kyouji doesnt think too hard about seeing gonzaburou literally bent backwards, eyes squeezed shut so bleach doesn’t get in them, instead focusing on washing all the bleach out and thinking about what hair care he’ll have to let gonzaburou use. Shuts off the sink, playfully ruffles his hair with a towel before properly giving it to him. Perfect smooth gold, better than gonzaburou’s ever gotten on his own. “So? How’d i do?” Smug grin met with a shove in the shoulder. “Shut up”

May 14, 2025

Drunk after a mixer, i wish i was a giiirrrllll (a la fabiniku), share a stupid look because they always seem to know what the other is thinking. cheap drugstore lipstick and eyeshadow and blush, as if the alcohol didn’t make them flushed enough. Small college dorm room lit by moonlight because normal lights are always too bright for tashiro to adjust to. Turn on the tv for some semblance of sight, automatically turning on whatever game they were previously playing. Sitting on shirahama’s bottom bunk bed. Stupidly giggling because they know this is stupid and a dumb idea, but something in gonzaburo flutters again as eyeshadow and blush and lipstick get painted on by somehow steady hands. Not that the steadiness makes it necessarily good by any means. Gon-chan can’t stop laughing, so everything is taking thrice as long as it should to put on, stop laughing dude, i can’t put it on straight, full of giggles in his own right. Okay okay, waves his hands and makes a stupidly serious face that just makes them laugh more. Okay for real this time, schools his face into a gentle smile, easily painted by lipstick now, getting harder to smile as he feels Kyouji hands near his lips. Dont think about pink elephants, gon-chan. Okay done. Kyouji snaps the lid closed for emphasis and smiles at his work, illuminated by a half-finished girly game and soundtracked by its gentle music. Certainly not good work at all, but enough in the minds of tipsy 20-something year olds up past midnight. Can i do your hair? - Sure why not. Gon-chan turns around, letting kyouji pull his hair loose and comb through it with his fingers. He grabs brushes and hair pins and fashions it in a simple but cute style, letting gon-chan’s bangs loose in a way they usually aren’t. So. How do i look? Subdued playful energy as kyouji stares a little too long and too quiet. Oh ummm. Like a girl? Exaggerated shrug and averted eyes and lazy smile like it was a normal reaction that wasn’t ten seconds too late. Gets a laugh out of both of them at least. Sleepiness finally in the air as gon-chan says Your turn >:). A lot quieter this time around, gon-chan’s shaky hands kinda tickle kyouji’s face. Gon-chan can’t stop himself from laughing as he pulls away, her hands less steady and eyes less artsy, it looks like a caricature. Kyouji’s exasperated expressions don’t make it any less funny. Too bad your hairs not long enough to do much with. Oh wait wait wait, smiling too big, takes his old ponytail and pulls up kyouji’s hair straight up and ties it. Laughs even harder to where shes not even making sound anymore, just shaking hiccups that start to hurt. Infectious enough to where kyouji laughs a bit too, but ultimately tells gon-chan to calm down. Touching his shoulder and laying next to him. They’ve been so tired for a damn long time at this point, it’s a miracle they haven’t passed out. Gon-chan rolls over on his spot on the bed, ‘m just gonna. Sleep here. kay. Already out of it by the time kyouji even processes. Whatever. He’ll be self-conscious about it in the morning.

May 14, 2024

shirahama gets a bunk bed at his house which is why tashiro convinces him to let him have the top in the dorms

#double entendres intended. Always

May 15, 2025

have to write this down so i dont forget. malts comment about shirahama being passionate despite how lethargic he looks and acts. compared to tashiro who looks bright and passionate but doesnt really know what he wants at any given moment. tashiro who thought Man shirahama sure seems passionate about basketball in the first years novel. wish that were me. you suck man ha ha. how dare you go somewhere without me. tashiro who has this bright and optimistic front that certainly is real but also enforced to cover things up. repression is about not letting anything slip, not even to yourself. dont let anyone know about fears of loneliness and lack of direction in life. go with the flow.... youre not actually worried about it! youre tashiro gonzaburou! you go with the flow! and youre totally fine with it! everybody knows youre fine with it. avoid responsibility and self-reflection. becoming ping pong club captain doesnt just happen to you. youre a genius tashiro. youll be okay.

#im normallll....

May 15, 2024

anyways. shirashiro college majors or something. tashiro undeclared or undecided or whatever cause im evil. maybe eventually settles on some kind of sports science. shirahama something artsy. maybe even like. theater design..? does anyone see the vision. oorrr makeup artist...? Does Anyone See The Vision

-----

okay me from Today. January 10, 2025. this was my shirashiro spiral that i never posted about because im deathly shy but im over it and i need everybody to know the core of this. i was thinking about kind of editing this all together but im too lazy and also i hate cutting stuff out.

shirashiro is fundamentally something that doesn't happen for a long time to me. because best friendship gets weird like that. and i think its really easy to think about kissing someone late at night, lit only by the tv glow. anyways. also if anyone wants to know more about my "fabiniku au" as i mentioned a few times. 1) read fabiniku (manga) 2) ask me about it and i'll find the link to an old post i made about it. anyways again. this is going to be such a shirashiro-tastic 2025. go forth my shirashiro warriors

[dolliemarionette]

OC INTRO PART I !! — Kennedy Siblings

leonard wayne kennedy jr.

first son, first grandson, first child. he was born with all the pressure of succeeding.

and he did.

straight A+s (100% or higher)

QB of the school's football team, got into varsity in freshman year

4.0 GPA

36 on the ACT

5s on all AP exams

Valedictorian

1600 SAT

Graduated at 16, got into Harvard.

He's basically the "burnt out gifted kid" who never really had the chance to burn out. he didn't let himself. he just kept going and going and going until he got where he was expected and beyond.

He doesn't really care for fictional things such as movies or stories or even fictional books. Even when he was in elementary school, he would always check out books from the non-fiction section.

The only fictional books that interest him are the classics.

Not very much of a smiler.

He was always an older brother/authority figure to his younger siblings. As the years went by he just kept losing his inner child and was basically forced to mature by the time he got to 5th grade.

He gets frustrated at people who don't use common sense.

He is a very "you have to see it to believe it" type of person. So in his mind Santa Claus isn't real. Neither are unicorns or fairies. :(

He won't tell anyone but he LOVES American folklore. It's probably the only story he could listen to again and again without pointing out how unrealistic it is. (examples: Paul Bunyan, John Henry, Johnny Appleseed)

He doesn't really tolerate crying. It makes him uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to do or how to comfort the person crying. So he just walks away.

He's never really free to do anything.

He's hardest on Nate & Marion but in different ways.

In high school he was actually quite popular.

He's always in a rush. He gets an assignment, it's completed before class ends. He's always packing up fast, walking fast, he studies for tests fast. Hr has never had a problem with procrastination.

He drinks his coffee black.

He hates sugar, hates anything sweet. Dark chocolate is the way to go for him.

He's one of those people that texts with punctuation and proper grammar.

andrew robert “drew” kennedy

3 (almost 4) years later drew was born!!

don't ever call him andrew.

he hates full names. he will call you a nickname even if you don't have one.

he only really calls people by their full names when he's upset at them.

he believes that everyone has one soulmate whether that be romantic or platonic.

life of the party.

reading is his no.1 opp. he physically can't sit still long enough to get past 3 words. same with movies. he has to be strapped down.

he's a people person, he might not be the smartest person but he always knows what to say to make someone feel better.

he has purple-ish eyes (think elizabeth taylor)

his inner child is also his exterior child.

he loves drag races & speeding. (monthly speeding tickets...)

he doesn't really drink but he acts drunks.

he plays baseball :>

he loves horses! he has a horse named Dippy Dawg.

he ignored his problems, and bottles up his feelings.

he needs to be positive 25/8. serious situations make him super uncomfortable.

d1 yapper. nothing can get him to stfu.

sundays are his least favorite day of the week because he tweaks out trying to sit still during the sermons.

he doesn't understand why school is so important. he believes in learning basic math & english and dipping.

he also tells everyone about how young people should party and have fun and start going to school when they get older.

he cant spell to save his life. txting him is like having to decode ancient ruins.

michael thomas “mike” kennedy

another 3 years later mike was born !!

he is the star quarterback of his high school football team, and is also the captain.

he enjoys teasing and pranking Marion but is more cautious with leo and drew.

he has a small scar on his chin from a football accident in middle school.

his favorite foods are hamburgers and steaks.

he has a bad habit of cracking his knuckles and neck.

when he goes to the gym he always makes sure to do 600 curl ups, 300 push ups, 200 pull ups, a trunk lift and back saver sit & reach that are at least 12 inches, and a flexed arm hang for about five minutes

gym bro lmao

kisses the homies gn

he's been banned from two pizza places for starting “accidental” food fights

he pretends not to care about school but always crams the night before a big test and somehow aces the test.

he refuses to take no for an answer when it comes to convincing his friends to join pickup games after school

he text replies are either lightning-fast or hours late, depending on how distracted he is by football or flirting.

he's one of those people that takes PE games seriously

he has a habit of “borrowing” snacks from his siblings without asking and acting surprised when they notice

his idea of dressing up is swapping his hoodie for a polo shirt and calling it fancy

He always insists on driving during family outings—even if everyone else is nervous about his lead foot.

he secretly has a soft spot for family movie nights (as long as it’s an action movie).

he will never say no to a dare, it doesn't matter what it is, he will be doing it

marion aurora evangeline “mari” kennedy

two years later a girl was finally born.

she's literally babied by all her brothers even if they all show it in different ways.

she LOVES the color pink

screenager

she's either the bitchiest or sweetest person there's kind of no in between

she knows everything about everyone. all the tea. all the secrets.

probably most popular girl at her school

she's learning not to hate greasers so much

sweetest tooth ever.

she gets scared easily

don't piss her off she'll be a bitch to u

she's friends with like everyone

knows everyone's birthdays

heh i'll keep hers short n' sweet (yes that's a sabrina ref) bc ill make more posts on her in the future

I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS YAYAYAYAY

[luonae]

scummy milo variant... aka a milo tailored for my questionable tastes. more about him under the cut

1) i think he would definitely be a variant of manipulation milo since this one relies on manipulation too. except instead of coming off as friendly and inserting himself in social circles this one would embrace this kinda emo or whatever look and a bad reputation because it makes him more attractive in a bad boy way

2) he plays with peoples feelings when they fall for him, using them to get money and information/blackmail on other people. he weaponizes his charms to get to people and once he got what he wanted and theyre no longer useful he throws them away and moves onto the next person

3) hes only doing this for eris of course. he has a tattoo of eris' initials in a heart on his neck (which would be really painful to get) to show his devotion. he may lie to his "lovers" about breaking up with eris to placate them but in the end theyre less than filth in his eyes; just a means to an end and nothing else. he absolutely despises when hes asked shit like "me or eris?" because he cant lie about that even if he must, so he often just says dont bring them up again and shuts the person down

4) unlike m milo, this one would be more willing to resort to violence if needed. hes not as violent as violence milo, but hes not particularly averse to it either. pick a fight with him over him stealing your girl or whatever and he will be knocking you out cold within 30 seconds and moving on with his day to smoke. he does frequently work out; maintaining his physique is important for his attractiveness after all (and the fights that come with it)

5) high alcohol tolerance. he gets people drunk to get information out of them. his size (and the fact he drinks a lot) mean he can hold his liquor well. after all, he himself cant get loose lipped. thats reserved for his victims. he needs to be sober to catch all the dirt they spill when drunk. besides he cant get himself into a vulnerable position like that.

6) probably almost got expelled multiple times, but he has his ways of keeping everything under control (blackmail)

7) cross him and youll face one of two fates: seduction or blackmail. i lied theres a third: getting your ass beat and thrown in the woods where no one will find you

8) lifeless eyes. his eyes only light up when he looks at or talks about eris. drops off everything he earned at eris' feet like a puppy and nuzzles up to them after a long day of being a bad boy. he will only get soft around them. he refuses to take orders from anyone else

9) really assertive. probably the most assertive of all milos, or up there with violence. he has manipulations confidence and violences ruthlessness, so he really has little to no fear outside of losing eris. nothing else makes him feel threatened nor embarrassed.

10) grew to overcome his fear of insects and even started liking spiders. he likens himself to one, catching his prey no matter how much they struggle, meticulously weaving inescapable webs.

11) probably acts averse to cute things, but he does have a soft spot for them secretly, especially bunnies. he looks back at his past self, pre, and feels a hint of fondness and pity. he doesnt dislike who he used to be even though hes nothing like that anymore. if pre milo was his own individual and existed alongside him, he would treat him like a younger brother and stand up for him.

12) really protective. has this death glare that communicates he will really throw your mutilated body in the ocean if you go anywhere near eris. probably really possessive of eris and, ironically enough, hates being touched or looked at by people other than eris, but will still tolerate it for his end goals.

13) while he may have no sympathy or reservations about what he does to his victims, he does feel a bit guilty when it comes to people who remind him of his past self. it wont stop him; nothing would ever stop him when eris is the one asking this of him, but were it up to him he probably would have some mercy on these types of people. he doesnt, though.

[myl0v3l1f3]

I hope someone sees my vision here jeez 😭

You don't see stars here, they're just city lights

I think back to where you live and how you can see the entire sky.

It's occasional, sometimes I'll see the moon

And I'll think of you

Jecka’s left for college, shes left home, cut contact with everyone, and starting over. However it’s not the same like it is back home, where she would sit on the roof with Nicole and look at the stars, and the moon. The moon she can’t see anymore. She tries hard to see it and the star once more, but she’s unable to.

My mom will convince me, and I'll get the courage to ask

We will get coffee in Canton and you'll nervously laugh

When we hug, 'cause we don't hug, we never used to do that

We don't do that

Nicole’s mom finally gets her to leave the house, and it ends up being when Nicole texts Jecka after 6 months asking to meet again, for coffee. She thinks it’s gay, but you gotta do what you gotta do. When they finally see each other again, they’re awkward and nervous and unsure in what to do, and that spirals into an awkward hug, that doesn’t feel like “them”. They never hugged (besides when they were drunk or high off of their tits) and it just doesn’t feel right because it wasn’t their thing and wasn’t about to become it either.

Sometimes I go to sleep

And I'm still 17

You still live down my street

You're not mad at me

Sometimes Jecka falls asleep in her shitty college bed, and if she thinks hard enough it’s like being back home. Home where she was able to walk a few minutes and she’d be at Nicole’s house. She misses this but Nicole isn’t good for her. Jecka had always thought Nicole was made at her for leaving, so when she starts thinking, Nicole isn’t mad. In fact, shes happy - something Jecka didnt normally see, but genuinely loved it.

And in that dream, I will say everything I wanted

That every day after May, I haven't found what I needed

No one has come close to you

And I don't think anyone will

The said thoughts become a constant dream for the next week, and Jecka’s able to spill her guts to Nicole. She’s rambling about anything and everything when she starts talking about how leaving her feels like a piece of her was missing, and she hasn’t found something to permanently fill it, because nothing will ever come close to Nicole. She was like a rare, one of a kind artifiact you could never replace.

Sometimes I go to sleep

And I'm still 17

You still live down my street

You're not mad at me

Nicole still lives at her mom’s house, paying rent but unemployed. Most nights she lays in bed, mind wandering but it always comes back to jecka. She falls asleep and shes once again in her prime era - being seventeen - and everything back to normal. Jecka is still a ten minute walk away (it would be five but Nicole cant be asked to walk faster). Ever since jecka left, Nicole blamed herself, for no particular reason. She just felt like it was fitting - everything was her fault anyway, this wasn’t anything special. Except it hurt worse when jecka stopped texting and calling. “Shes mad at me” was a constant thought, but now, in her stupid yet comforting make believe land, Jecka isn’t angry at her, and they’re smoking cigarettes in her bedroom again.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

The world ended when it happened to me

Jecka always wanted to go to college, and do something with her life. She was getting everything she wanted - a well paying job, a rich husband, a new life with no toxicity or abuse or drugs. Nothing to ruin the perfect image she was slowly building brick by brick, chapter by chapter, line by line. She wasn’t wasting time like Nicole, who was still taking every pill in the medicine cabinet. Like Nicole, who was staying in bed until 6pm the next day, wasting away. Like Nicole, who couldnt move out of her mom’s house because she had learned to be depends on her. Jecka would say it was a small thing, her moving away “I’ll still call you, dumbass,” but being left alone with her thoughts, the only one left who hadn’t gotten their life together yet might if actually ended Nicole’s world.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

The world ended when it happened to me

Jecka thinks back about Nicole, and that girl has what she wanted - no job, no school, drugs and alcohol and a bed. She had razor blades, and shit - maybe she would kill herself before she was 30. It didn’t seem much, and probably stupid to other people, but they didn’t know Nicole like Jecka did. College had been a slow, slow walk so far - Jecka felt like she had learned nothing, since she learned all this back in high school. It felt like she was wasting away at her desk, slaving over her laptop and a bit of A4 paper. Nicole always seemed uncaring or unaffected when jecka mentioned college. It was a small thing, supposedly. It didn’t matter, because they were only high school friends anyway - this was destined to happen. However Nicole didnt know how Jecka would lay there and sob, because she was fucking her life over. She didn’t want a career in the medical field. She didn’t want a rich husband. She didn’t want a new life; she wanted something small, but payed her rent - or something big like an actor, so she could get the attention she craved. She didn’t want a rich husband - shit, she didn’t even like guys! She wanted a wife. Or girlfriend or whatever you called it. She didn’t want a new life - she wanted the messy, toxic one she had before with Nicole. Her world collapsed inwards when she started her car, her own glassy eyes catching Nicole’s dead ones in the rear view mirror.

When it happened to me, when it happened to me

They both have no idea how much it’s affected the other, being apart and not talking. It’s like a telepathic sort of thing, or voodoo or whatever. It physically hurt them both.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted.

Jecka got to go to college, and start over

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

Nicole is wasting away in bed, doing drugs and getting drunk by midday

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

They both said it wasn’t a big deal

The world ended when it happened to me

Yet they feel empty and unfixable without each other. They had one fragment of themselves missing, and nothing was the right size to fix it, like a jigsaw puzzle. So until something happens, they’ll remain memories just out of reach.

Idk what this means but I could make a sick edit of them if it was a show 💔💔 @st4rlight-kayz @spaceboyden @silverwasafukintrainwreck @polomarco2