#i cant focus on reading rn so i will not
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perhaps uninstalling the b&n app for today is the answer.
#me to me: it does not matter how many times you open the app what youre looking for isnt going to be there#also me opening the app every idle moment i have to check just in case#lol also @ the fact i literally downloaded a new game to play because i was like 'it will distract me' no i still find a way#to obsessively check#i cant focus on reading rn so i will not#please sedate me please this is the longest day#my dumbass
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hi mutuals im just curious.
#im a ggy lover myself and would obviously love to see it realized in a game#but i also like gregory as a character more than his semi-canon backstory#and have complicated feelings on if i want them to confirm ggy at all.#i love ggy but dont want it to take screentime away from gregory#who alongside vanessa havent been focused on in years#(ruin was mimic basically the whole time#doesnt count) and need the screentime desperately.#personally#after THIS long (2 and a half years since gregory screentime and over a year since GGYs release)#i cant help but always wonder if theyve just. waited too long and they shouldnt confirm it.#at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge.#if they did focus on ggy in a game i'd want it to serve the plot involving multiple characters and progress slowly#i dont want it to be confirmed then its just background knowledge i would want there to be a plotline of#gregory remembering it throughout the plot of a game and dealing with it.#it'd confirm it then but it'd also still be wholly focused on Gregory alone and also be a natural reveal for people who dont read the books#for me its option 3 i guess. by all means its for sure canon at the moment im just talking about how it would be revealed in a game#or if at all and left as knowledge someone who read the books would know#my idea is wishful thinking we'd never get something that intricate#i can hope though#i could be so cool#but damn theyre just handling the story so strangely rn#pandas.txt#pandas talks#poll#thoughts#pre hw2 dlc#jic
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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My dad told me to watch Gungrave with him (we have just watched one episode atm) and I was like wait the vibes, this feels so awfully familiar, where have I seen this, the characters hmm no but I’m so sure I’ve never seen this anime before
And I was right I have never seen it before…BUT… as I google for some facts I immediately found out that Nightow was the character designer along with good sir Kōsuke Fujishima of the og game, and the anime is under Nightow’s name as it seems and I was like—



OF COURSE. NIGHTOW.
#down to the mf glasses. it was the general structure but the glasses. they just felt. Nightow yk. IK IT WAS A TREND THE BUT ITS THE FEELING#ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER LIKE A FULL CIRCLE I CANT ESCAPE THAT MAN NO MATTER WHERE I RUN TO#my dad was like ‘you like Trigun? you might like this the designs are sick’ and I’m like hm yeah they have their charm I’ll admit#I told him ‘his gun is giving Trigun. the glasses. the fit.’ and then I laughed bc I thought that’s so silly it’s just what was on trend#around that time and I’m just really bad into the brainrot there’s now way these two would possibly be related. alas.#apparently Nightow was involved since very early on in the project while it was still in a very essential beginning stage#and you can TELL. it all BREATHES of Nightow when it comes to the character designs like#I dont know much of mr Kosuke Fujishima to tell about his style but his is very prominent too as it seems! as both were essential to the#whole feel for the characters. but for Nightow I can speak and YEAH YOU CAN SEE IT ON THE IMAGES ABOVE. THAT’S HIM AIGHT#yasuhiro nightow#gungrave#lenssi rambles#gungrave anime#having my own christoper Columbus experience rn#I’ll get to kekkai sensen too eventually! Nightow is an awesome writer i want to#I WANT TO FFS OQNWK READ. all of his works! so many things so little focus OANWM
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as someone who cannot deal with mobile gacha games post-2016 I AM cautiously intrigued by infinity nikki. visuals look fantastic and so cute, the platforming in the ign gameplay i saw seemed a little rough but as long as its not too hard i'll be fine (<- said as a person who is shockingly bad at 3d platformers) but i am hopeful. if its a fun game to play i'll be really excited, as someone who's only played nikki up2u ive always been curious about how that normal girl dressup game turned into like. nikkis hellscape or whatever ive heard about it. nikkis torture dimension. nikkis purgatorial plain of endless suffering. thats my understanding of the franchise at least.
#up2u was the only one i could handle orz also the only one out at the time LOL but i did try the others at later points#i dropped off pretty quick tho because UNFORTUNATELY like i said i really really cannot deal with gacha game pacing#like specifically post 2016 ish it got really bad because games got more complicated. so the opening tutorial would be like hours long#and it would always piss me off. and by the time i got to the actual game i was too burnt out to read the stories#plus a big mobage design philosophy rn is like. grind for a reward. but that doesnt work on me if i dont like the grind#i love grindy games. i love number go up. i love repetitive tasks. but the focus has to be the grind#the grind cant be designed like an obstacle. which is why i didnt really like sif2 despite my adoration for sif1 LOL#rest in pieces............... its about the grind being the fun part in the mechanics. if the fun part is just the gacha and story well#i'd really rather them just be visual novels orz my mobile game curse.........#anyway. i hope its good!! and i hope its like a normal priced game rather than f2p for my sake <3
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To people @ ing me and like. Just in general trying to involve me: i love you, im sorry im very bad at engaging and replying rn my social abilities are basically dead i genuinely love and appreciate it so so much yes you reading this i appreciate YOU so much plz do not think i hate you i swear i do not i just. Suck at soical anything rn. Replying to messages is hard. Reblog games are hard. Reading fic is *extremely* hard right now.
I know i sound like a dick bc i come on here and gush and post tons about my ideas and ships and i should be giving back if i want engagement. I know this. Im trying i swear. I appreciate you all. A lot.
#idk im fighting in the trenches#and i constantly worry about how i probably look like a self absorbed dick bag#constantly asking for people to send requests or askes about the ot3#when i rarely engage with anyone else.#im sorry. i am. im trying.#im trying to get better i swear.#im also in a mental torment nexus of irl is VERY rough rn and its hard to focus on anything that isn't my escapisms.#i can't write or read fic no matter how hard i try#i try to reach out and tell people i appreciate them#but i think i sound forced and disingenuous which sucks.#idk i constantly worry im the most annoying person ever and everyone dreads talking to me.#i realize thats probably not true but its a battle.#i know i should be better about letting people in but. idk. im afraid.#I've had so much of myself used against me when I've opened up to people in the past#that now i just. cant. the fear is so strong.#Anyway yeah thanks for dealing with my mentally unwell ass.#im sorry
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every day I'm surprising myself with how important Thousand Autumns is to me
#i have animatic thoughts but i don't think I'll actually make it#i started to draw very rought sketches of key frames tho so that's somrthing#piórko starting a new project yet again because i cant just focus on one thing at the time#rn im writing 2 short stories,making character designs,reading articles about hanfu w notes and embroidering so i of course have some place#left for an animatic
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help the mutuals and dash were taking about gotham war and i just realized we weren't all (rightfully) shitting on war games again
#sorry but my ass cant even read comics i WANT to read do you think im keeping up with modern ones?#and zdarsky's writing is mediocre at its best. i liked btk at first but his treatment of ra's and talia for bruce to be the white savior??#and how he made talia and bruce meet differently which changes their dynamic entirely#and how khoa left?#not the worst a writer been but yeah.#also his attempts of doing anything in the ongoing run is boring (in what little ive seen so take this with some salt)#he seems he'll do better with more limited runs where he can sculpt a packaged and contained story#but rn where its just unraveling and progressing? i thought failsafe was boring and so is this current shit#but whatever. hashtag peace and love as i ignore whatever the fuck is going on and focus on decades of other comics <3#ransom note
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Btw if you have any warrior cats you’d like to see me draw feel free to send ideas in my asks!! I’m not promising to draw them all but I’d love some ideas and to know what people want to see :) it will also be useful for warmups.
Also please note I haven’t read beyond omen of the stars yet so no characters from the later series if that’s ok </3 I will not be able to do them justice
#the hyperfixation is so real rn#i want to read the later series but it’s Money. </3#and I cant read cheaper ebooks i cant focus on non physical books or audiobooks unfortunately#one day I will catch up. one day.
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🥹🫠
#feels like every day there is someone new to tell about the break up and im running out of ways to be like hey yeah im fine!! but also...#pretty sure only a couple of people know at work bc its hard enough to bring it up let alone when i barely go into the office anyway#lord knows if my brother knows i can only assume my mum told him and probably everyone she has spoken to for more than 5 seconds since#im tired im really tired#it always ends up just being a conversation like '6 years...thats a long time' yeah i know i was there#just keep trying to focus on good things that are happening rn and i know im feeling sad bc 2/3 of my friends (housemates) are away rn#blah blah blah so many feelings i cant summarise them here in tags#if anyone happens to be reading/still reading and wants to send me photos of animals then feel free <3#this is just word vomit at this point sorry
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Shout out to every health crisis I've ever had that cancels out whatever my current fixation is and makes it so that I can write again
#vent post#not actually a vent lmao but thats the tag#ive got literally no cognitive energy and for some reason have been fixated on learning languages again#(hilarious honestly. i cant even read a book rn but sure yeah lets focus on languages lmao)#and today my vision has gone bad#i can hardly see anything lmao#good news though: tomorrow i see the opthomologist#i literally could not have planned it better#so guess what my brain is doing in light of my inability to see?#writing fics goes brr >:)#not like i have enough to think about rn lmao#(i promise im okay btw)#(i mean obv im not like duh cause health)#(but im safe and im getting the help i need!)#(so i will be okay and theres not much to worry about i promise <3)
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OK I have 2k written for the lil trigun senses drabble. Contemplating posting it tonight. Not like me to write smth and then post it literally the night after, but this is meant to be a low effort kind of thing anyways. Shaking off the rust & all that business
#speculation nation#trying to get myself to not stress about writing so much#discacc updates are so much pressure bc Hundreds of people get emails for every little update#so i gotta make it Count. cant be anything less than perfect.#for this tho. i have next to no readership in trigun fandom. MAYBE a few mutuals.#im not posting this for recognition. im posting it for the fun of it#and bc some people Maybe would enjoy reading a mini exploration of Vash's whole Deal#who knows! it's only 2k words. practically miniscule for me#but it's a natural cutoff for this focus. and next focus will be.. smell probably#sound smell taste sight touch. is the order im thinking of.#one chapter focusing on each. & how it's different from that of a normal person's#and of course it's vashwood. of Course. not that theyre very uhhh buddy buddy rn with the first chapter#i have it set a few days after the rollo stuff. they are not very happy with one another lol#maybe will post. if not today then tomorrow. idk i just wanna post Something.#tho i gotta do homework tonight 😭😭😭 ugh
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There's a thing in screenwriting called a logline, or an elevator pitch. They're used to pitch a story to a publisher or agent, however writers of any kind (novels, fanfic, comics, film, games, etc) can use them to narrow their story's scope, sharpen the story's conflict, and get a better understanding their story.
Any great story can be summarized in only a line or two. Here's the logline for How To Train Your Dragon, for example.
A hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.
You can read more about loglines here.
How To Write A Logline (Reedsy Video)
List of Famous Loglines
How To Write A Logline (Masterclass Article)
How to Write a Logline Producers Won’t Pass On (Studio Binder Article)
Developing the skill of briefly summarising your creative works isn't just good for posting them on fanfiction archives and itch.io, it's also a good way of cultivating creative discipline. If you can't explain in a few short sentences what a work's deal is, that may be a sign that you don't actually know where you're going with it yourself; composing that summary obliges you to come up with an answer to the question "what the fuck am I doing here?"
#writing#i've used loglines a few times and it really does help you get a grip of your story. 10/10 would recommend.#even if you're not selling your story idea to anyone. it also works as a good hook description for fanfic#big thing to make sure is that you are including your main conflict in the logline#the conflict drives the plot and hooks the audience#leave sideplots to the side and focus on the main plot#and including some irony is pretty good too#the most fearsome dragon that no hunter has been able to catch falling into the hands of the most cowardly viking? that's good shit.#it's been a while since i read the articles i cited and my brain is like 'cant read rn too fuzzy' so i hope they're still good;;#writing advice
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The way my head still hurts but is making my vision go a little funky is so fun
#its like everything is a little out of focus#so i can watch stuff as long as i dont have to focus too clearly but i also cant read rn
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erm
#hiii im in class aka i cant escape my own mind rn =w=bb let me talk about my online needs#I WANT TO READ THE COMMENTS ON MY REVIEW.#MFC is actually still fairly active and i am SURE. that people have left comments.#but here comes the problem: they arent being shoved into my face :)#aka i dont HAVE to see them.#and already having anxiety about seeing the comments this. isnt a good thing.#i could look at them if i HAD to. if it was to make a notification bubble dissapear i would.#but its not. i dont have to look at them. which means that i have to initiate contact myself. and that is so much more of a problem than.#actually reading the comments probably.#sillyposting#its the duality of wanting to see the comments combating the anxiety of looking at comments WITH the need to do that myself???#yeagh no its better if i just ignore all of them.#but i wanna look.......#like. i know there will be nothing bad in it. people just talking regularly will be the majority.#why cant i be normal about this.#hm.#anyway i will maybe look at them during my 2 break hours soon. only to delay having to work on my assignment =w=bb#but first i get to eat!! and drink the juice!!! yayyy =w=bbbbb#ok rambling done maybee.#sorry if this is spammy i. am apparently not used to being in public for a long time if i have nothing to focus on (class is on its 15min).#ok.#=w=bb
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hhhhhhhhhhhh
#failed a test a huge amount#waiting for resylts to come back but knowing theyre gonna also be a fail#failing 4/5 classes im taking rn#dedicating almost all my time to classes but i still have to do the internship bullshit my dads having me do#i get that its a great opportunity for me and that he needs it done but i literally dont even have time for my hw or studying for tests#and i cant quit cause i already tried and it doesnt matter and i live here and im failing my classes and i dont even want to take these#classes i dont even really eant to be an engineer i hate that im failung these classes#i dont even need to take one of them to graduate my dad wanted me to take it cause he said so and its not required and it adds to the pile#of shit i dont eant to do but am forced to do but am failing at even though im putting literally as much time as i can into it#and i feel like i never have time to draw or read and yet im still a failure#i hate hate hate hate tvat im putting all this effort in and still failing#i am not a good test taker abd its annoying and frustratign when im tutoring my classmates with hw and they get better twst scores than me#and im failing class HAVE I MENTIONED IM FAILLING NEARLY ALL MY CLASSES#I HATE THIS#i knew id fail too ive always had this problem and i told them that i wouldnt have time if i took this many classes and you know what hesaid#???? that id be FINE and that in GROWN UP and maybe if i didnt have his BULLSHIT internship id be fine and maybe if i wasnt asked to tutor#so many people id be able to focus on my own hw and maybe if i was better at sleep and better at doing things instead of scrolling tumblr or#staring at literally nothing#i hate everything#i dont knkw how to fix this
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