#i cant figure out the read more on mobile?

[caffedrine]

Chevalier Michel - I fell in love with you that day – Choose your true love - Event Summary

This is mostly a summary for me - I make no promises on the accuracy of what’s happening. I’m not nearly fluent enough to get half the jokes/innuendo much less accurate plot points.

When Emma wakes up, she is in a pitch-black forest, which is weird since the last thing she remembers is waiting for Chevalier in his library.

There’s a unique smell to the forest, iron and something burning. As far as dreams go, this one is very vivid, and Emma trembles as the smell triggers memories of the last time she participated in a war. Thankfully, she cant hear any sounds of fighting around her, so she’s safe for now.

Her heart pounding, Emma forces her legs to carry her forward, until she enters a clearing with a large lake reflecting the moonlight. And on the edge of the lake, wearing a dark cloak is a familiar figure.

Emma calls out to Chevalier as she hurries towards him, the smell of blood and battle growing stronger as she nears him. She can see that Chevalier’s clothes are covered in something red, and he kneels down to scoop up water to wash himself.

Drawing close to him, Emma asks what happened and reaches out to touch him.

Chevalier recoils from her, unsheathing his sword and resting the tip just at her throat. He demands to know who she is. Very carefully, Emma tells him her name.

(Actually, this is just how he says 'hello')

Not helpful. Chevalier does not recognize the name nor the person.

Is this really Chevalier in front of her? His eyes are so cold that Emma can feel her blood freeze, and the traces of warmth she is used to is gone. She remembers back when she first met Chevalier, the ruthless bestial gaze, but this might be even worse. She can feel the hostility radiate from him, and it’s intense enough that she can’t breathe.

Chevalier tells her to run away, unless she wants to be killed. The tip of his sword is just touching the skin at her neck. The murderous intent half-convinces Emma that if she moves at all, he will chop of her head.

Emma mentally calms herself down, taking one deep breath after another. She needs to figure out what is going on.

Feeling better, Emma looks into Chevalier’s murderous gaze and asks him what is going on. She explains that she was reading back at the castle and suddenly she was here. It looks like he’s covered in blood, and it looks like a war is going on, so she’s understandably confused.

Chevalier doesn’t answer her.

But the hositilty has decreased, so he lowers his sword.

Chevalier sheathes his sword, turns, and walks away. Unlike usual, there is no ‘come with me’ look, but Emma decides to follow him. She doesn’t want to be alone in this place, even if it means being with a Chevalier who does not know her.

Upon returning to the forest, two people intercept Chevalier. His younger brother, Clavis, and the traitor knight, Sir Flandres. It’s the later that puts things into place for Emma, Flandres was a knight of the foreign policy faction 10 years ago

Both Clavis and Flandres were too agitated to even notice her and focused on Chevalier. Flandres begs Chevalier to reconsider, his family is among the 1,000 hostages captured by Obsidian. He asks if Chevalier really intends to abandon all those he has sworn to protect? If they mobilize the knights, then maybe they can save them.

Chevalier refuses to change his decision, even though Clavis argues that they could still win. Chevalier reminds them that Obsidian has firearms, and if they walk into the obvious trap, the 1,000 citizens will die along with the knights. Flandres asks if they could do a more covert operation to save them, but Chevalier refuses to waste the military power on this.

Clavis reminds him that he is consigning 1,000 people to death. Chevalier reminds Clavis that they are at war, people are going to die, but if they don’t win, then the entire country will be wiped off the map. He is getting tired of saying the exact same thing over and over again. Chevalier pushes past the two, as they stare at his speechless.

Somehow Emma was transported to 10 years in the past, when Rhodolite was invaded by Obsidian and all 7 princes went to the battlefield.

She is at the day when Chevalier let 1,000 hostages die, the Blood-Stained Rose Day.

Emma has no explanation of why she is here and how she went back in time, but this is too real to be just a dream.

She sits near Chevalier in the command tent as soldiers bring in reports. And each report is dire – with them losing land and Chevalier making decisions to abandon one battle and send more troops to another.

One of the scouts reports the Supreme Commander of the Obsidian Army was briefly spotted, and Chevalier asks if they have spotted Ever-Victorious Marshal. Nope, Gilbert is suspiciously absent. Chevalier muses that if they manage to kill the emperor, the fighting will be over. A soldier points out that the Supreme Commander, the Emperor of Obsidian, is the best fighter on the continent, no one can kill him.

Chevalier tells them to send for him the moment they pinpoint the Emperor’s position, he will fight him himself. He warns them not to engage the Emperor.

As the soldier leaves to spread Chevalier’s orders regarding the Emperor, another scout comes with more reports.

So far, with everyone focused on Chevalier, no one has noticed her. Or maybe they have, they just have other things to worry about. Instead, Emma is left by herself to listen to Chevalier give out order after order, and she is quickly overwhelmed by the cruelty of the war. As the night breaks into day, Emma feels a little safer, but it is impossible to relax.

Lucian, a face Emma can recognize, comes forward with an urgent report. Chevalier doesn’t even need to hear it to know, his stupid brother went and did it, right? Lucian asks if Chevalier was expecting it, and Chevalier admits that he wishes he wasn’t.

The other side now has Clavis and is demanding hostage negotiations. How would Chevalier like to handle this?

Chevalier tells Lucian to ignore the demand, if his stupid brother got himself into this situation, he can get himself out. Chevalier has made it clear that he does not intend to negotiate.

Even Emma is chilled by his disregard, and she has the advantage of knowing exactly how it will turn out.

One of the nearby soldiers objects and asks if Chevalier is sure. Chevalier reminds him that Clavis entered the enemy camp on his own, and he asks how many people should he sacrifice to rescue Clavis? The soldier backs down, and Chevalier tells the soldier not to think about unnecessary things and focus on their roles.

Emma muses that even though Clavis is his brother, Chevalier has no doubt in his decision to abandon him. She understands that if Chevalier makes the wrong choice, Rhodolite will be overrun by Obsidian troops and lose the war. He accepts the responsibility of making the ultimate judgments on the battlefield, right or wrong.

As Emma thinks about what Chevalier and the others are going through, Lucien abruptly looks at Emma and asks who she is.

Chevalier shrugs, he has no idea either. She just started following him and didn’t run away.

Eventually, the reports stop, and Chevalier calls for Lucien. He’s going to go for a walk. Lucien asks if he should come with him, but Chevalier tells him not to. Lucien then tells Chevalier to be careful.

Emma decides to join Chevalier, she doesn’t want to stay behind without him.

Chevalier makes a beeline into the forest, and judging from the way he’s moving, he seems to have a destination in mind. This isn’t the casual break she was expecting. As she frantically follows him, Chevalier abruptly stops. He warns her that if she continues to follow him, he won’t guarantee she’ll live. Emma assures him that she’s not worried, and unless he really can’t have her with him, she would still like to accompany him. She wants to know what happened during the Blood-Stained Rose Day. Chevalier is visibly confused, and Emma realizes that this war doesn’t even have a name yet. Chevalier calls her strange, snorts, and continues forward.

Under the cover of darkness, Chevalier hides in the shadows. There are multiple tents pitched nearby, all bearing the Obsidian Crest.

Emma is shocked at how easily Chevalier is approaching enemy territory, but he seems to be handling the situation. Looking at the tents, Emma is surprised at how few soldiers she can see.

Just as Emma begins to second guess herself, Chevalier unsheathes his sword and boldly walks into the enemy camp. The soldiers all shout in alarm and recognize Chevalier as the enemy commander. The soldiers at the front aim their firearms at Chevalier, but he is too fast and swings his sword before they can fire. For the first time in a while, Emma sees people die in front of her. Only a few soldiers have firearms, and the rest attack with melee weapons, but are struck down in turn.

Emma is shaking from the sight, but with no signs of reinforcements coming, she steels her legs and watches Chevalier. Finished with the soldiers, Chevalier enters the largest tent in the camp, only to quickly emerge, dragging a man with him by the hair.

The man is wearing a commander’s uniform, and he is shouting at Chevalier to release him and threatening him. Chevalier ignores him, throws him to the ground, and stabs the man through the shoulder with his sword. The man threatens that if Chevalier won’t stop, he won’t rescind the order to burn alive all those prisoners of war. Chevalier stabs him through his other shoulder, pointing out that the execution is already happening right this moment. He notes that since this commander and his subordinates are here, that means they didn’t have the stomach to see their execution orders carried through.

Thanks to that cowardice, it made it easier for Chevalier to find and dispose of them.

Chevalier stabs the commander in the shoulder again, and then in the legs, and the commander screams. This is the first time that Emma ever saw Chevalier purposefully torture someone. He’s angry, very angry.

Chevalier explains that he has just sacrificed 1,000 people to kill him, one of the army commanders. But what is the point in just killing him?

Chevalier throws the commander into a nearby tent, grabs a torch, and sets the tent on fire. The commander starts screaming, and Emma realizes that some of the wounds Chevalier inflicted on him made him unable to use his legs.

Emma realizes that Chevalier always knew what would happen when he allowed those hostages to die, and used their sacrifice to kill one of the enemy generals. With the gift of hindsight, Emma knows that this was instrumental to him saving Rhodolite.

Chevalier, framed by the blazing tent fire, looked calm, but Emma knew that his insides were boiling with rage. She can feel the palpable anger at the loss of all those people and knows that this decision will nearly bring about a civil war in the future. Everyone said Chevalier was a merciless beast that left those people to die, but the truth is that Chevalier didn’t want them to die in the first place. He had just decided to shoulder the burden of all those deaths in exchange for a future for Rhodolite.

Eventually the sound of the commander’s screams stops, and Chevalier sheathes his sword, checking the flames. Satisfied, he turns to leave, passing by Emma who is still hiding in the shadows. She struggles to chase after him.

Chevalier abruptly stops and asks how long she intends to follow him. Emma assures him that she won’t bother him, and to please allow her to stay near.

For the first time, Chevalier turns to face her. He is caked with dirt, sweat, and blood, but somehow remains noble and pure. He notes that there are few women who can see all of this and remain normal. But Emma has barely started crying. She’s not a soldier, but she seems used to the battlefield.

No, that’s not right.

Emma is used to Chevalier.

Who is she?

Chevalier roughly grabs her and her wedding ring shines faintly in the moonlight. Chevalier has figured out that Emma is in love with him, but why?

With Chevalier looking down at her, stinking of blood instead of roses, Emma looks into his eyes and asks how he knew.

Chevalier can tell from her courage, as well as her attitude. Besides, she seems to already know the outcome of the war. This is insane and impossible, but she doesn’t seem from this time.

Even ten years ago, Chevalier was able to deduct accurate conclusions from a small amount of information. Leaving him only with the question of why she loves him.

Emma looks into the eyes of this blood-soaked beast, and though her hand is trembling, she refuses to look away. She wouldn’t be the person she is if she could look away from Chevalier like this.

She admits that there are many reasons why she loves him, but the most important is that he is capable of more love than anyone else.

Chevalier asks if she’s serious.

Emma tells him that she knows he will shoulder the burden of those 1,000 people lost, as well as everyone else who sacrificed themselves in this war. No matter who hate him, he will do what it takes to save as many people as possible. She loves his strong will and sense of responsibility, and the fact that he is human.

Like anyone else, Chevalier feels sadness and anger, proving that he’s not some beast but a human. No matter what, Emma wants to stand next to and support him.

The wind blows, stinking of ash and blood. Emma still feels numb from the scene she’s just seen, but she pushes forward. Chevalier isn’t cruel and heartless, it is this war that makes him seem so. She wants to do everything possible to stop another tragedy like this from repeating.

Emma is still inexperienced and knows too little things, but it is important that she was able to see the Blood-Stained Rose Day up close like this.

She tells Chevalier that she is his fiancé, and she will never let him turn himself into a beast.

After a long moment of silence, Chevalier releases her hand. He knows nothing about her, but if she thinks all that is true, he is interested to see how far she goes.

Chevalier snorts turns, and walks away.

Emma thinks that she’s been chasing his back for a long time now. Now, in the future, she will always chase after him.

When Emma wakes up in the present, the dream lingers and she tells Chevalier about it. He pauses his work, considering it. It is a very strange dream.

Chevalier never told anyone about attacking the commander, and there are no records about it that anyone could have read. He also has no memory of anyone following him to the enemy camp.

Chevalier muses that if it was more than a dream, or just a dream, either way it doesn’t sound pleasant for her. Emma agrees, but she thinks it worthwhile to have occurred.

Awkwardly, Chevalier reaches out and caresses her cheek. Emma thinks he looks a little paler than usual. She feels the warmth of his hand, the warmth of a human. This same hand has been stained with blood so often that Chevalier fears he might be a beast. Even she, who knows him the best, cannot always suppress her fear.

Even though his hand is so gentle with her.

Ten years ago, after their commander was slain, the Obsidian troops lost their morale and withdrew from the villages they had occupied, and the war had been won by Rhodolite. The Emperor had never before been defeated in battle, and the withdraw was unexpectedly thorough.

Rhodolite had lost a lot to this war, but the fact that a small country was able to drive off Obsidian was significant on the global scale. Until that battle, Rhodolite was considered a weak small country, ignored on the global political scale. But, thanks to that victory, Rhodolite is heralded as a beacon of hope to all countries threatened by Obsidian.

Thanks to the sacrifice of all those who died on the battlefield.

Emma agrees that they are where they are today only because of everyone working so hard to protect the country. But the war shouldn’t have happened to begin with. No matter what they say about Rhodolite becoming prominent in victory, Emma cannot bring herself to glorify war.

Chevalier agrees with her sentiment.

Emma doesn’t want to lament her helplessness to stop anything, and she wants to work with Chevalier to build a world where no one needs to become a beast to win a war. She doesn’t want blood to get on Chevalier’s hands ever again.

Chevalier is interested to see how far she will go.

Emma remarks that dream-Chevalier said the same thing to her in the end. Chevalier muses that he must not have changed from who he was back then.

Chevalier pulls Emma’s hand close to him and kisses her fingertips, as if he was swearing a sacred oath. He has no intention of staining her hands with blood either.

Chevalier is someone who will wage a war if he thinks it is necessary. Currently, he’s thinking positively and continues to be a human. As long as the love between them exists, Emma is sure Chevalier will retain his humanity.

She looks at him, at his smile, and thinks about how warm it is.

[fagboyfriend]

i rlly like ur composition, i wanna know about your process :D

thank uuu !! yeah so like. composing a scene for me generally begins with a vague idea that i want to get down as quickly as possible- and for me that usually starts with finding a setting. I knew that i wanted to draw a) a group of roomates gossiping in a crowded kitchen and i wanted there to be b) one figure in the extreme foreground and c) lots of plants. i do use some tools to figure out perspective, mainly the csp perspective ruler. Usually i start by finding a picture i like similar to the vibe im going for- but instead of referencing anything else- im purely interested in perspective. sorry to anyone who is shocked i dont generate all of my perspective purely by myself- i can draw in perspective fairly well but i struggle to make straight lines and this is easier to make grids with than the line tool lol ^_^ i try to use it kinda more like spellcheck on typos than like something to fully rely on. this is the video i learned this trick from:

i saw the left photo and realllly loved how the cabinets alligned with the wall- so i used my ruler tool to draw out my inital plotted points from the image- basically the linear movements i was most interested in and then i turned off the image layer and worked with those lines and the ruler tool to move on. eventually i had this:

which was enough for me to put my characters in for the inital round. if you notice- i made a looot of further adjustments as i go on. this sketch is not a final layout, its so my characters have somewhere to be! i cannot draw someone standing on a floor if theres no floor, nor leaning on a table that doesnt exist. i can’t draw my characters without a background, but i also cant finish my background without accounting for how my characters can comfortably exist in it!!

this was the like.. very basic start. i knew the positions of two characters- but i needed to change a lot not only to fit them better but to allow for the other two figures i had planned.

okay.. a little better. i widened the kitchen, closed the fridge door.. added a chair and fit in all the figures.. but this is waaay too dramatic. only two figures are actually interacting- and they are at wildly different energy levels!

this is where things started to make a little more sense characterwiss, so i was ready to refine backgrounds and figures and unite the two.

inital base sketch. much better layout.

okay- this is where im getting my footing but things seem.. really really off. You can see me working on my framing here- theres some good linear movement from left to right here- but not vertically. It’s hard to notice the figure in the far back, so i need to redirect the viewers eye to move upwards as well!

this is where i decided to zoom out, add an interesting vertical element to the left of the image and make it clearer whats happening in the foreground. i had to account for some stuff by adjusting the cropping, but i paid attention to that as well.

annnd- thats what a clean sketch looks for me! i have all the elements of my scene accounted for, and things are clean enough to read.

the next step for me would be transfer! essentially- I print the image of my sketch out, resizing and taping pages together so my sketch matches the size of the paper i want to paint on, and then i use a lightboard to transfer my sketch with pencil onto my paper. Then i refine the sketch a few times on paper before stretching my watercolor paper (essentially just prepping for painting) and inking with a brush and colored ink before going in with watercolor, gouache and ink, then usually finishing with marker, colored pencil, pastel and ink. it’s a lengthy process but a lot of fun lol. but sketches for me can be like.. 15 layers of different roughs until im happy with just the sketch. there were more images but im on mobile and theres a 10 image limit 😭😭 im a bit masochistic but i believe that if i dont have a good sketch i dont have a good painting!!

[chemicalarospec]

It's become a duology where the second one is L POV and they're simultaneously amazing and awful. They're not set in the same timeline, they're just companion fics.

The Light one has internalized arophobia, really good unreliable narration, and no quotation marks. Light's conflicted. The conflict is the Death Note's influence on him. It's an AU. There are no details to the AU. One of them is dead and I don't reveal until the end who. It doesn't make any sense - it's basically two timelines in one.

The L one uses every tense and POV (ok, not every, 3rd person is only used to describe Light), but it does have quotation marks. It's so out of character. He's hallucinating. It's fixated on one line from a song I'm fixated on. It's about religion. It's about unrequited love. It's about religion as unrequited love. It makes sense if you can read it but you can't read it due to the way it's written.

I don't like afterlife fics, even ghost fics, for Death Note, but they both kinda are.

Something interesting is that I commit way more to Light being Bad in L's POV. I can't write inside Light's head without feeling sympathetic for him and making him a little nicer (the fictional man has charmed me! I'm so gulliable! tbf he's kinda my Type in fictional characters - the whole unrequite-er part is pretty similar to a This Charming Man OC thing I wrote before), but in L's POV I can write positively about him but with the understanding with the reader L is brushing off his negative traits due to attraction. (L is way too pathetic, in both fics really but it only matters in his. At least his fic is about the idea of loosing yourself I used to be obsessed with. The ending's kinda a spiritual successor to the Ghostbur poem in that way. Like I said, it doesn't make any sense for him. It's just who I am.)

btw if you're wondering I still have Light Yagami on the brain. I had to idea last night to write a fanfiction in 1st/2nd person where he's "I" and L is "you". definitely Not Normal.

[lsunstreakerl]

Hiiii

I havent sent any asks or comments in a while because I was fully burried by uni but here I am finally🥳 (I should be studing pharmacology at the moment but who wants to do that? Not me🫢)

AWW I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO SAY. First everything you write is still amazing. I read everything as soon as I could. So many spectacular stories. Both the search verse and the new fic. I got to the point were I check immediatelly in the morning if you uploaded anything.

The GP and Max relationship is amazing in both and they are both so different but similar at the same time.

Im so excited for the deep dives you plan to do here. I think Im gonna separate my thoughts so its more manageable.

Search history:

I didnt expect to enjoy fopa as much as I did. I was surprised how interesting and enjoyable their side story was, looking forward to reading more about them.

GP and Max’s relationship is beautiful. Max learning to trust GP and slowly realise that he is not a burden. Admit to himself that GP was the one who raised him and tought him not Jos. Realise that this is how it should be, that parents shoud care and listen to their kids. Aww soo good.

Charles’s and Max’s relationship is amazing as well. To see their teenage selfs (mostly Max) be oblivious while everyone expects them to get together in the future. Loved GP’s comments to his wife about the personal drama

Also I loved the last chapter. Max working through his trauma and telling Charles about it. Beautifully written.

Famiglia:

Amazing how you write their relationships different but still very similar. Max is not the same person because he grew up in a loving home with GP but still he is the same in all things that matter.

Loved to dutch accent bit sooooo much. At first I didnt notice that he was speaking and then I went back to realise that the first thing GP heard was the word dad😫😫

Also Max and Charles still being connected by racing even tho Max cant race🤯 Him supporting Charles through is carrier, Charles wanting him on his team in F1 ahhhh so good. Charles immediatly recognising Max when he saw him driving.🥺 The hand massage🫠🤭

Yeah this became a bit long sorry😬🥴 I could yap about all your fics for eternity

sorry this took so long to respond, the mobile app wouldn't let me say anything 😭 you are so brave studying pharmacology it is my least favorite subject in the entire world EXCEPT for histology. (honestly, I should also be studying pharmacology rn. I'm just not doing it lol)

writing the Max and GP relationship to be just as meaningful but still different shaped on their experiences has actually been kind of hard, but I'm enjoying the challenge.

I am the conductor for the fopa train at this point. I'm not sure if anyone else really writes them? so I guess I'm holding down the frontlines of the fopa tag 🫡

teenage lestappen continues to absolutely ridiculous about each other, no matter what, in any universe. love that for them.

Alice knows all the redbull drama. all of it. she remembers it all too, that women is a treasure trove of embarrassing little gems for the entire team. everyone gets scared when she's at a team event because she knows it all.

showing Max a little bit softer in Famiglia has been fun! on the one hand, he's still got some of those concerning mindsets from when he was a kid, but he's much more open about his love and his family than he is in Search History.

yeah, GP cried about that one.

the Dutch accent is so funny, because poor Max has been in the UK for like seven years at this point, he signs in BSL, he thinks in british english, but when he speaks he's got a dutch accent still 😭 him and GP keep getting startled by it. (max also keeps not expecting his voice to be as low as it is lmfao)

charles could NOT figure out MP until he saw him in the kart and then he was like -_- "are u fr rn verstappen"

and then he decides he's keeping max this time, no more disappearing acts for him.

the hand massage 😭

[sparklychaosandotherthings]

MORE Headcanons for dean winchester that are true cause I say so;

- he has the WORST HANDWRITING EVER IN THE WORLD. He’s dyslexic AND had almost zero formative education (his dad taught him the basics but like all dads it usually ended with dean holdin back tears at the dinner table) he lets Sam write everything, because even DEAN cant read his own handwriting

- he will tell you that he thinks fidget toys r the stupidest thing ever invented and a waste of resources. (He owns like 5 fidget spinners and a 25 dollar iron fidget pen; “what!??? It’s for hunting!!!!”)

- you would think he’s a dog person, but he really prefers cats, they’re more mobile, and he feels like leaving a dog alone for so long while he hunts is cruel. Plus he doesn’t really like walking, he does enough of it on the job. (He also believes cats are good luck and trusts their judgement on where spirits are)

- he can’t sleep when it’s perfectly quiet. When it’s too quiet while he hunts it usually means danger, so he’ll crank up the ac or the radiator in whatever hotel they’re staying in just so he can hear the noise. (This drives Sam crazy sometimes, because he’s the exact opposite)

- he LOVES jewelry, if u gift him a bracelet or a necklace, the very next day you’ll see him wearing and showing it off. He has a small collection of rings, bracelets, and necklaces. His favorites are the pieces made of iron that he can use while hunting

- while he doesn’t like reading, he really likes audiobooks, on long drives he’ll put them on the radio and listen to them for hours, and he’ll listen to anything, non - fiction, biographies, physics textbooks. As long as the narrator has a nice voice he’ll listen to it.

- he doesn’t use hair spray, (he’s worried it’s too flammable and in his line of work you deal with fire A LOT) he prefers one certain brand of hair gel that he is UTTERLY loyal too. Dean will go out of his way to obtain HIS brand of hair gel, and will accept no substitute.

- he genuinely does not know how to work most electronic devices outside of the norm. Somehow, Sam hasn’t really figured this out yet.

- he never dreams; and he always thought that was a little weird, but then Sam started to have his dreams, and he felt like even more of a weirdo for never dreaming. He’s honestly a lil jealous of Sam in that regard, he’d rather have bad dreams then no dreams at all

- he’s a good southern boy, so everyone is either “sir,” or “ma’am,” he genuinely means it (most of the time) but because of a slight tone delivery problem, major attitude, and different regional dialects, people believe hes mocking them.

- Because of his lil southern self, you’ll hear him use his waaaayyyy too long analogies that don’t make a single lick of sense, and he’s often unintentionally cryptic just because that’s how he talks. (Sometimes he’s confused why people think he’s so mysterious and hard to read)

[coyote-kiddo]

i was re-tagging some of my old posts and found this, so i figured i'd re-do it!!! (all at once because i do NOT have the memory to do it over 30 days)

i found petdre first via the aesthetic "babycore", and then slowly got more and more into agedre!! i also found out a while later that i had been involuntarily age regressing for years and hadnt noticed

my age when im small is kinda hard to pinpoint, but i would say somewhere between 3-5 most of the time!!

i dont have one, and i dont plan on getting one until im an adult (for safety purposes), but i have a few fictional cgs!! (stolas, toriel, and alastor are my biggest ones :3)

hm, i would say a day with one of my fictional cgs!! getting to play with the toys ive been wanting, color and draw, wear clothes that feel comfortable on my body, use teethers, bottles, diaps and pacis and watch my favorite shows without being judged or being embarrassed abt it :3 plus a nice warm bubble bath, baba of warm almond milk and a lullaby before bed!!

i have loads of sippies, a few bottles, a few teethers, a paci and one disposable diap as of right now, but i really really want a babyyourdoll classic round paci!! and also pull ups, mostly js for comfort :33 i would also like more silicon teethers bc they feel nicer than gel/water teethers heheh

i pet dream occasionally, not as often as i used to but still occasionally!! i petdre to an afghan hound, a kitty, a fox, and im considering trying wolf pup, fruit/vampire bat and deer :3

when i age dream, im not too much different from when im big bc my headspace doesnt change as much- im just a bit more childish and less embarrassed about stuff!! regressed me is wayy different though bc my regression is almost always negative- im typically more emotional, childish, clingy, and annoying.

i prefer drawing!!! i like to color also but drawing just feels so freeing to me :3

my moots!!! too shy to tag but i love them sm /p /gen

regression is almost always invol for me because of anxiety and trauma, its also usually negative which is kinda sucky

yepp!!

not that i can remember, ive used regression gear in dreams before but never regressed

this one is kinda tricky- im gonna say probably either apple slice or salteens!! i also really love juice, chocolate, graham crackers and cheese and crackers :3

yes!! i never really grew out of them, even before i started to age dream ive collected them :3

just my stepmom and my dad, i dont really think they remember though

bubs, kiddo, buddy, and little guy are my favs!! masc nicknames are sooo gender affirming to me as a fem-presenting trans man :,3

my regression is usually negative and involuntary, but nothing usually makes me "instantly regress"- its kinda a coin flip- but something that makes me feel smaller when i age dream is fuzzy socks!!

nope 😭 even if im able to buckle down and have small time after ive been involuntarily regressed it just kinda fades away

its okay, i cant really speak on it much bc i have most people i dont feel comfortable with blocked and i dont have any other socials. though i do hate when people stereotype and gatekeep it, or water it down to "fem, pastel, cute way of coping for skinny white girls only"

not a lot, but if i stumble upon one in the tags i might read it :3c

yeah, but i dont really feel comfortable being tickled

stolas goetia from helluva boss!!!! he is literally my dada guys /silly

my preference changes constantly, but it would definitely have a crib that can be converted into a toddler/big kid bed w a canopy and mobile, a sensory tent, a bouncer, a play area and a deer rocker!!!

not really, it makes it harder for me to stay small sometimes

i regress because of trauma and anxiety, i age dream as a coping mechanism for stress, gender dysphoria and missing out on my childhood :3

i almost always have to be listening to music when small, regressed or age dreaming, and my music taste jus kinda stays the same

just boundaries i set for myself- dont intentionally seek out my triggers, dont stay up too late, eat when im hungry, etc

when i regress, i get very very clingy and sad and scared, so i come off as very needy and kinda annoying (+ blunt because i kinda forget how social rules work), when i age dream im basically the same as when im big, just gigglier and more childish

maybe!! i havent tried out caregiving before but i would like to!!

im in the process of learning italian, so i sometimes watch kids' shows in italian to help practice and to make myself feel smaller!!

[hellishvxbes]

🔥🔥🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )

Okay. I struggled to come up with some topics to talk about for a while plus just issues through the entirety of this week. BUT I FIGURED IT OUT.

🔥 - PROMOS. tbh, promo's main use were to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, to spread the word about your blog and find more partners and people to make friends and broaden your experiences with learning about new and exciting fandoms. Now I just find them tedious, and annoying to make. if you aren't a popular blog the odds of your promo being reblogged and spread around is so minimal. it also just feels like clout chasing at this point. and yeah nothing wrong with reblogging your promo and having your friends hype you up, but then ppl wonder why they think the rpc is so alienating? cuz someone else will reblog their promo's expecting the same thing and they don't get it and then they feel left out. but if its just so you can get some nice thrown at you, it just feels like more clutter for my dash especially if I'm already following you. now if you're a NEW blog. if you just joined a fandom, and you want some exposure, I'm down for that because that is what a promo is supposed to be for.

🔥 - Personals. I actually like personals. sometimes personals care more about what I post than my own followers. i get ppl being upset if they reblog their threads, but liking your posts? and maybe reblogging a headcanon or something but idk i guess for me that stuff just doesn't bother me. I love when people reblog my headcanon and they agree. or they add onto it, with their own thoughts. or they tell me how much they love it. makes me feel seen. makes me feel cool. i just think people forget that tumblr is NOT a roleplay site. yes, we found a use to tailor it to our hobby, that doesn't mean everyone who comes across our blogs know that. they arent apart of our community, what makes you think they have to abide our guidelines for it? tbh, roleplayers have just gotten entitled to thinking that tumblr is supposed to bow to our whim. we share a space with non roleplayers. to demand, and just expect ppl are just going to see your rules and read them and respect it rght away?? come on ya'll. we know to look for rules cuz its what we've been doing for years, but you can't expect that from strangers who are likely mobile bound just seeing something you wrote in the tags. its gonna happen. i just dont like the mannerisms some people have with them. you dont gotta be rude about it. if its really bothering you just block them and be done. problem solved. going out of your way to make posts about how annoying they are is just unnecessary.

🔥 - duplicates. this is one is gonna get me fired but oh well. Ya'll we have GOT to love ourselves better. because it is plain and simple insecurity for why people feel they cant talk or write with duplicates. i know it does deeper in some cases, like your current partner leaving you for the shinny new roleplayer of the same muse you write. believe me I've been there. but fuck those people. when are we gonna stop letting others dictate how we feel about ourselves? i hate seeing shit when a new roleplayer pops up with the same muse and suddenly you get the vaguing posts about 'suddenly feeling very doubtful of my portrayal' like its not obvious you are threatened. and in this fandom??? we're i follow like 30 different alastors?? lucifers?? Angels"?? all different, all got something to add and share. i got news for you but your portrayal isnt the only ONE. its not the end all be all. and yes I talk to my ego all the time, cuz there are some muses i write where i'm like I AM THE GOD FATHER OF THIS MUSE. but thats me and my own pride, doesnt mean anyone else who writes this muse is less than me. or i'm suddenly less than them. and there are portrayals i dont fuck with. i simply just do not look their way. but theres always muses i love roleplaying with duplicates cuz its FUN. also being able to talk to people who love this muse as much as you?? learn to stop looking at everything like its a competition and things will not be as stressful. its what makes this hobby unfun when you let those insecurities eat you up. im not saying its not valid, and im not saying you cant be upset, but what does it really do for you? what would happen if you just went and talked to them? imagine it goes well? you make a new friend. dont deny yourself opening a door just because you are scared of what 'might' be behind it. and its something I am learning and teaching myself. our issue is we all wanna be see, and heard. we all wanna be the absolute best. we wanna have the best portrayal like this sort of acknowledgement does anything. cuz while I know ppl love my own portrayals, still doesn't change the fact that i got issues and i cry myself to sleep still. the 'love' i get on here, ain't a fix. and if you think seeking validation on tumblr dot com is gonna fix you? its not. the attention and love we seek on here is just a placeholder, its us using this as a distraction from actually fixing our problems, and turn i still see how so many of us are unhappy. let it go.

[fribbitz]

Im the anon who sent asks at 2am last ab the deleted asks

Im glad i could catch that happening for you. Im very rarely up that late but got hit with a bout of insomnia so i had sent a couple to the blog while reading and watching back through it to try and sleep. I was frankly really surprised to see a ask that i had seen answered like 20 minutes up and disappear, and then i was even more surprised once i was booted out of the blog on mobile when it was privated. I thought i had been blocked for a hot minute for sending asks about a music video with a puppet. But then i realized it had to have been privated bc when i checked my following list im still following them.

Ty for posting about the pw for the blog. I figured thatd be it, but you cant get into pw protected blogs via mobile easily.

I was surprised to hear about it! I thought I had been blocked as well, or that the account had gotten deleted lmao. so far the blog has been following canon pretty closely but a private page is kinda out of left field! a welcome element for me tho.

this is the part where the bots should start gaining sentience so stay tuned for it :3

[kuraikyu]

@digenvez : it's Shoko today that would occupy his lap 💕 obviously just because she wants to bother Satoru~ and maybe because she just likes to snuggle him up a lil bit 💕

𝐆 𝐀 𝐒 𝐏 !

'' Hey!! '' Found out and claimed. Feeble sounds skitter in a cascade of sheepish peals, coming out from the archway midst of tightening corridor in his throat. Like a hybridous whimper when there's a new conqueror declaring dead-aim strife to his solitude, furthermore occupying entire territory of his poise and bearings.

Doubtless fact - he was able to swallow that one soba noodle in time was a blessing in disguise, as otherwise, it would have stuck in his throat in stupid chew-out factors that could cause him dire discomfort.

Sudden and maybe unhoped-for. Timeless bangs move with a puff of air coming out from lined controversy of duck face mimic, light tint of roseate creeps its steam ... troweling over perplexed countenance now pleasantly lit, and then a tinkle of tempestuous laughter asserting contention in the spotlight when his face impactly buried into her shoulder blades and legs firmed knees.

More muffled chuckles and undetectable whispers sow deep duskiness among oblique valley of her infraspinatus, more to feel, to enroot, to fructify with procreative chill and movement of his lips chanting cants of unspeakable 'shouldn'ts'. Entwining pearls occurring in ruins of respiration never to be touched by sword-stroke but revel in deep riches.

Frigid aspects of discipline lose track of self-preservation and smush among the warm structure of cottony sweater, he could sing forbidden glooms of vespertine narratives to her spine and lustrate condiments of each trembles all night long. Brisk inhale draws in crisps of fragrant compounds commingle in tracks of bourbon firewood, chocolate, and rich Cuban tobacco. Arms built with months and hours of hard strain and training hardships wrap around the slim frame of a hickory swan nesting in death's embrace, remaining positioned right beneath her rib cage like an impenetrable fortress in reaction to her wordless slope; allowing her to relax and rest assured he won't shoo her away. Why would he; how could he? Because he always missed her too.

'' Feeling wicked today? Just wait till someone figures, " but whatever reason it was his attention is drawn away from the bowl with noodles and he just sits there, savoring the moment of peace and mutual comfort, " -- I have a bad idea let's annoy him together. '' For once he was allowed to be the pest too. With mobile discovered in his pocket, instantaneous fingers clicked and scrolled via joystick until Geto found a contact named 'Cattoru' and started to type:

ㅤ📲 :ㅤ𝟒:𝟎𝟕 𝐏𝐌 [ Hey, Satoru. Guess what ... ] ㅤ📲 :ㅤ𝟒:𝟎𝟖 𝐏𝐌 [ There's a hot chick on my lap right now ... ]

Spoiler of possibility for Gojo face & his reaction after reading that one message.

[silveme]

i will admit that since im mobile-only i cant actually read the playlist description BUT, i can very clearly tell characters/themes sections , and that some sections made me laugh out loud when certain songs would play, like specifically, hitting us with back to back songs that make made me laugh way harder than i probably should have been laughing, memorably,

Puppet Boy immediately followed by Under My Skin, so meaaan to them

the one-two punch of fuck my boss and da biggest bird.........

the combo of Just The Two Of Us and Thats Life,

the man who sold the world. BACK FROM THE DEAD STRAIGHT OUT THE CASKET RISING UP OPEN UP YOUR EYES CANT YOU SEE ME WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

the cars themed songs, ejsus fucking ..

starting out with a man without love is Perfect ... the first four songs paint such a picture like thr opening of a film except the fourth song is camel by camel of all things,

heaven knows im miserable now. i was looking for a job and then i found a job. making plans for nigel. then ghost.

i can go on (which would be me continuing to state the obvious) but im not planning on editing this ask once i type it out so (sweating) im so sorry....

there are some fantastic choices you can kinda tell who listens to what via vibes , even though obviously no i couldnt actually figure out that marc listens to will smith. but there is a VERY clear switch between steven music, marc music, jake music, plot music, setting music, show mystery atmosphere music, etc. even their mercenary background,

this is only somewhat related to the playlist, but i didnt realize that My Way Of Life was the song that jake was playing in the last scene, and then when you put frontier psychiatrist in there, did yoy know that that song is sampled in there. the That Boy Needs Therapy song. sampling the song that was playing when jake makes his appearance at khonshu's behest, a song that is all in one an admission of defeat, a prayer, and a claim. can i speak to the directors was this on purpose (shaking someone wildly by the shoulders)

your sense of humor shines through the entire thing even from the photo and the GET THE FRIES title reference which im still laughing to myself about it like an idiot and as i finished the playlist i was thinking to myself like. Thats it, Thats The Whole Show 👍👍 We've Covered Literally Everything yknow i marathoned this playlist but this playlist is so long that by the time i hit the end of the playlist after marathoning it i was driving home from work free bird'ing down the highway like I DID IT ... WHAT AN EXPERIENCE...

Yeeeesssssss

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

YOU GET ITTT

literally kicking my feet in the air giggling and silently screaming while reading this THANK YOU!! AND YES IT IS THE PERFECT PLAYLIST TO MARATHON I ALWAYS PUT IT ON WHILE WORKING. Also good to know that everyone else can’t see the description on mobile too, damn I thought I was doing something wrong. it goes like this “We’ll need the energy in the coming days…THE ULTIMATE MOON KNIGHT PLAYLIST In order: miscellaneous, Marc, Steven, Jake. I’m always updating and curating this! Also check out my Layla playlist”

Followers who don’t care about the best moon knight playlist ever pls scroll now or forever hold your peace cause I’m about to wig out✌️

This whole playlist is very much my personal music taste both old and new so I’m so glad other people love it too. Like I’m 20 and I’ve been listening to some of these songs since middle school (and one since elementary school….”awoken” LOL) and some is my more recent music taste

So anyway without further ado, here is some of my personal favorite moments on the playlist, I’ll try to keep it in order, strap in.

MISCELLANEOUS

• Nutcracker suite Arabian dances: im very much a classical lover as you can probably tell by now but this has always been my favorite classical piece. It’s just sooooo “I’m tired and injured and trudging through the desert under the light of the full moon. I’m exhausted but I have to keep going” love itttttt

• Leopard: this song is literally always switching up!! Just like moon knight lol. One moment it’s sad and slow, next moment it’s anxious and fast, and then it’s smooth and chill. Need I say more.

MARC

• Back from the dead: “BLOW, YA TAKIN 2 SHOTS TO YA CHEST”

• Hunter: this one is very special to me cause it’s probably my favorite song of all time at the moment. It’s sort of the same deal with the nutcracker suite where it’s like you just have to keep on marching and do what you can to survive cause there’s not really a home you can go back to. It feels lonely, ghostly, desolate, and steadfast. So marc and so knightly. “I tried to organize freedom- you sussed it out didn’t you? You could smell it so you left me on my own, to complete the mission, now I’m leaving it all behind.” Very him and Khonshu am I right or am I right. HES GOING HUNTING. HES THE HUNTER!

• Pluto: this is a more recent addition, it’s just so visceral and violent. Like Marc! I also specifically added the live version with the strings cause it sounds so much moreee. Unhinged? Enraged? “Excuse me, I just have to explode this body” “I’ll wake up tomorrow brand new, a little tired, but brand new” just like going to bed as maRC AND WAKING UP AS STEVEN CMONNNNNN

• Dirty Harry: mercenary days marc moment

• mercure scene 1, la nuit: same thing as nutcracker suite and hunter. WE GOTTA KEEP MOVING EVEN THO WE’RE SO TIRED

• Off with his head: middle school classic of all time to me. It’s so “ugh. Gotta kill all these people to sate this ancient gods will. Sorry, I promise I don’t want to 😬”

• Awoken: relistening to old mlp fandom songs I used to love when I was little and then realizing one of them fit Marc Spector of all characters actually incredibly well felt like unearthing an ancient cursed relic. I literally still cannot believe it

• All the Will Smith songs: Marc speeds on the highway when he drives. And when he does, he’s blasting this. Also he doesn’t like any other musician besides will smith. He has literally had the exact same music taste since 1997 #comfortmusic

• Get out of my house: MARC IS THE HOUSE.

• All the love: the phone calls. THE PHONE CALLS. Did I mention the phone calls? The sighs too UGH. I’m imagining Marc coming back to that storage locker and listening to all the voicemails Steven had left him thinking he was calling their mom. Also am I crazy thinking the last “good night” sounds EXACTLY like Steven?

• Sandpaper kisses: “your gonna a leave her. You have deceived her. Just a girl, with featherweight curls” Layla 😭

• The moon/ Awake: EVERY. LYRIC. HITS. It fits the relationship between him and Steven amazingly. “When sins of sons to fathers come, too heavy is the weight. THE SPIRIT SPLIT IN TWO” <- when I heard that while looking for songs to add to this playlist my jaw dropped. ITS TOO REAL

STEVEN

• Ok let’s go: the moon/ awake to ok let’s go is the transition from Marc to Steven. It’s basically Steven being like “is this too much to take? That’s ok, I’ll take it from here” like he’s there to put Marc’s pieces back together after everything. It’s stevens introduction bc that’s his purpose after all. He’s picking up where Marc left off

• Diary: Goldfish problem vibes. “Dear diary, What a day it’s been. Dear Diary, it’s been just like a dream” “at night I can’t sleep, I toss and turn” also the guy is British so that’s a plus

• the miku song (I can’t type Japanese) : Steven grant anime opening. He’s running late to work with toast in his mouth

• COUNT THOSE FREAKS: literally episode 2. Mr knight vs that jackal vibes

• Sinking feeling, Only dreaming: I’m gonna lump these 2 together cause they have the same gist. Steven realizing that he isn’t completely alone and those strange occurrences and dreams are much much much more than they seem. His life is a lie! Poor man’s being put through the mental ringer.

• Linger a while: It’s just so british sounding you know what I mean? It’s so Steven nervously plodding along

•Oivomaintnt: steven grant walking simulator

• Wake up ( it’s 1984): “two worlds apart, BUT SO!! CLOSE!!!!!!”

• Is anybody here?: ohhhhohhh so Steven. Everything abt it is so perfect but here’s my fav lyrics “I left my soul exposed to frail hands who hold my fate up in the air.” Aka khonshus spindly witch fingers. “Waking in the afternoon, a captive in a passive tomb, moments turn to long Decembers, stoking fires from dying embers. I try To move a limb, but there's a disconnect within. A devil in the alchemy. A phantom staring back at me.ITS YOUUUUU” disassociation moment. He is quite literally slipping out of consciousness and losing days or even months of time. Also….a phantom….OR A SPECTOR

• Steal away: ok I lied this is the one song that’s based off vibes. It’s just Steven what can I say

• It only takes a moment, somethin stupid, might tell you tonight: HES FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME 😭😭😭

• Ghost: Steven being like “hey maybe actually not being alone isnt so bad :)” again, a ghost….OR A SPECTOR! Ehhhhhh? ;D

JAKE

• you belong to me: Marc and Steven may be free, but Jake? mmmm not so much :/ wherever they go, whatever they do, he still belongs to Khonshu.

• What you won’t do for love: “I guess you wonder where I’ve been”

• Desalento: I don’t speak Portuguese so I don’t exactly know what this song is about but it’s just so Jake vibes. Esp near the end

• The most cursed hands/ who am I: first part is cool but disregard it. The real reason why I added it is at the very end. “Who am I? Just a gambler, holding aces in the devil's eyes. What is wrong? What's the sin? Where's the answer? Where the hell do I fit in? Or could it be, there's just a little demon lost in the debris? And I, should idly bide my time until a wager releases me” cmonnnn that is so good. Where does jake fit in in all this? Steven and Marc are already a team but Jake is disconnected from them, where does he go in the story? Also the little demon lost in the debris is KHONSHU, they thought they defeated him but heyyyy he’s still there just in secret now. And what can Jake do but follow his orders till he’s released! “It can’t remain unknown” his existence can’t stay hidden forever! Also the vibes at this part are just so suave and Jakey.

• how I could just kill a man: marc and steven are soooo free and don’t have to do shit anymore but guess who’s left to do all the dirty work now? JAKE! And he’s pissed! “When your up on the hill in your big home, I’m out here riskin my dome”

• Vroom Vroom: obligatory

• Tardigrade song: Jake lockley is one tough son of a bitch. He can take pretty much everything you throw at him, since that is literally his purpose. He wakes up after years of hibernation, kicks ass in the most inhospitable conditions imaginable, then goes to sleep again. Just like a tardigrade!

• We fly high: I have this image in my head of Jake rolling up to an avengers meeting and you can hear this from the parking lot blasting in the moon knight mobile before he gets out and slams the door. They’re all looking down at him from the window like “ughhhh who invited that guy” “not me” “me neither” “I think he just invited himself” *door bursts open* “eyyyy fugeddaboutit” It’s like his theme song to me, it’s what plays when he rolls up into frame wearing sunglasses. He’s just balling. Simple as. Steven: ouch! He bit me!😰 Jake: no I didn’t 😎😏

Freebird: and what a perfect way to end the playlist. Wow look you made it way to go, now let’s make our car do flips and donuts in the avengers office parking lot 🥳🙌

Sorry if that was too much, I always think about these when I listen to it which is still fairly often. I’ve never gotten to discuss these things with anyone! Delighted to hear that you enjoyed it!!!!! Hope it helped you discover some really amazing songs. THANK YOU!!!!!!! 💕

[friskofthesnails]

Rating Deltarune ships:

I saw someone else do this so I wanted to make my own.

I havent played this game in years sorry if I got names wrong

(Op is a proshipper, I give no hate to any ships even if I dont like them ^^ and no hate to shippers period)

Edit: goddamn I had to edit this too much bc I kept mixing up Lancer and Ralsei. Warning you just in case I didnt fix all of them.

Kris x Susie: 8/10 love them as friends and a couple but I usually like to think of Susie with Noelle, but Susie is really hot and I project onto Kris with this ship, Susie if you're reading this you can bully meee 😳😳😳

Kris x Ralsei: 0/10 no thanks, my notp I'll explain more later

Kris x Noelle: 7/10 Ive never looked into it but Id be curious...

Kris x Berdly: 10/10 YES

Kris x Lancer: 0/10 nah

Lancer x Ralsei: 10/10 made for each other, why doesnt more of the fandom ship this? Bc they think Lancer is like 5? That's pathetic, Lancer is just fat but he is not a little kid any more than the rest of them. Also all of them are autistic so quit infantilizing lancer pls?

Berdly x Noelle: 6/10 never looked into this but if we're going with trans girl Berdly I'd be curious (actually, if we're going with trans girl Berdly I'd be down to accept almost anything)

Noelle x Susie: YES 11/10 YES OTP

Lancer x Susie: no thanks

Seam x Jevil: 9/10 lol, they're great, I cant ship these two with anyone else unless someone draws good fanart

Spamton x Kris: 8/10 I dig it

Spamton x anybody: 8/10 idk spamton is just funny to me so I like his ships. Spamton needs luv Im glad the fandom loves him

Susie x Kris x Ralsei: 0/10 I respect the idea and love them all as friends together but my brain just nopes on Kris and Ralsei romantic. It's funny, I do ship incest sometimes but I dont ship Kris and Ralsei because I see them as siblings even though so much of the fandom ships them for some reason??

Susie x Ralsei: 8/10 I like this one they're cute

Rouxls x Papyrus: 9/10 crossover ship helllll yeah

Rouxls x Ruddin 10/10 I read a fanfic about them years ago and theyre an otp to me now

Susie x Berdly x Noelle: 9/10 This sounds wild somebody show me what they'll look like Im hella curious (again Im assuming trans girl or girl adjacent Berdly they are all lesbians. Maybe Berdly is a lesboy? Idk)

Susie x Noelle x Me: 10/10 oh hell yeah Ive been thinking about this one a lot I just need to figure out what type of monster I would be and then I'll make fanart and you'll all be sorry mwahahaha

Queen: I dont have a ship for her this game needs more darkworld adult women maybe but she is a hilarious character and I needed to say that 10/10, everything she says is gold, "I only play mobile games" "Kris go for the banana"

[creepypasta-archive]

Jeff goes to Burger King

by me

Ive found the original story! I'm on mobile so i cant post much about it but its truly a weird thingie. Hope you enjoy it

cw// fast food mascots, blood, teeth, darkness, paranoia, retail job

Click on read more for the full unedited story

The calm under the navy blue sky remained undisturbed as Tiffany slumberingly strolled towards the fridge at 3am. Her rest was interrupted by a Big Mac induced nightmare in which she gave birth to one of those terrifying european Happy Meal mascots, their perfectly spherical and unblinking eyes fixated on her as she was being held by the doctor. She was approached by her with the intentions of handing the newborn red cardboard creature to the lucky mother. Their smile widened as Tiffany stared back at the thing, not scared, but unprepared for anything “her baby” was planning to do as soon they were at grabbing or leaping distance. She had no reason to assume the mascot was feral, but her fears turned out to not be unfounded, as shortly after the doctor arrived at the side of her bed, the fast food monstrosity lunged at her face, mouth stretched into a giant toothy grin that revealed perfectly symmetrical pearly teeth, followed by the purest of blacks, a complete void that she had no time to figure out where it led, as as soon as the Happy Meal terror reached her face, she sprung up in her bed, sheets stained with sweat, fast breathing, her mouth and throat dry��� She wasn't going to a McDonalds ever again.

The streetlights indirectly gave the small appartment’s kitchen a dim ambience, not bright enough for any figure or item left on the counter to be easily identifiable, but she did not need that, as she had been living on this flat for long enough to guide herself in the penumbra to the door of the fridge, she reached and pulled the handle, the silence and dim illumination gave way to the buzz of the bulb producing the blinding white spotlight, directly aimed at her face. She reached into the fridge to grab the water bottle she left there the day before. Despite her keeping her eyes closed, the translucency of her eyelids was enough to de-adapt her eyes to the darkness. She slowly walked back to her bedroom, in an attempt to resume her slumber and get at least one or two hours of sleep before having to head back to her dead end job at Burger King. Fast food was gonna be the end of her, or so it seemed tonight.

She arrived at her bedroom/dining room/living room combination and went on to close the door. Her cat would jump at her face like an european burger box-beast if she had the change to sneak on her white she slept, so she had to take extra care to keep that little furball at bay. However as soon as she felt the doorknob, her heartbeat skipped a beat and her legs tenses. She was expecting the knob to be smooth and chilly, as aluminum paraphernalia usually is, but instead she encountered a rough and leathery texture. She was unable to identify any figure in the hallway, so she looked for a logical explanation that could ease her nerves. “I must’ve left my pleather jacket hanging from it”. She gave herself a little reprimand for scaring herself like an idiot and slid herself back into her bed. She moved around between the sheets trying to regain that perfect position she had casually gotten herself into in hopes to immediately fall back into the arms of Morpheus, that weirdo that gave her a fast food sponsored nightmare.

During the effort, once again her breath cut and quickly turned to the direction in which she felt a nudge, her eyes fixating on the dark blob standing next to her, clutching her sheets as if the fabric server as some sort of magic impenetrable shield against supernatural foes and common thiefs alike. She stared a whole though the shadowy intruder until her eyes finally adapted to the faint lighting, revealing the identity of the perpetrator to be a chair piled with used clothes. what looked like a head was only a ball of crumpled shirts and what looked like a torso was just her pleather jac--

She finally heard it, the faint thumping of an unknown heart drowned every sound in the room,followed by the trained mouth breathing, quiet and so discrete it would be easily masked by her own respiration. It came from the door, it came from next to the door. Then the soft breathing gave way to the click of a door lock.

The calm under the navy blue sky was disturbed as the intruder sinisterly strolled towards Tiffany at 3am. Her rest was interrupted by the heavy realization that she was stuck in her room with a terrifying stranger, his perfectly circular and unblinking eyes fixated on her as she held onto her sheets. She was approached by him with an intention yet to be discovered, but was probably nothing good. His smile widened as Tiffany stared back at the thing, scared and unprepared for anything “her visitor” was planning to do as soon he was at grabbing or leaping distance. She had no reason to assume the intruder was feral, but her fears turned out to not be unfounded, as shortly after the individual arrived at the side of her bed, the leather skinned monstrosity lunged over her, mouth stretched into a giant toothy grin that revealed asymmetrical yellowed teeth, followed by the insanest of cackles, an ear piercing screech that she had no time to scream over, as as soon as the glasgow smiled terror reached her chest, he dug into it with his blade and did so repeatedly, the blood splating over him, her pulse dropped and her temperature faded… She wasn’t going to wake up ever again.

[corvusaur]

okay so im about halfway through hell followed with us by andrew joseph white and Oh My God!!!!!!! this book is literally everything my horror loving trans self could want in a ya book! the story follows benji who is on the run from a fundamentalist cult that released a viral plague on the earth. from there, he is found by a group of teens from the local lgbtq+ center. the groups leader, nick, is gorgeous, powerful, and knows his secret: he has been infected with a deadly bioweapon that threatens to turn him into a monster.

i really like benji as a main character!!! he is not perfect by any means but he does compel me so far. the effects of the cult he grew up in really has a strong effect on him and it makes him a fascinating character to read from. his relationship to the body horror/his sense of self as well?? immaculate. plus we love to see trans people in fiction

im not always the Biggest fan of the genre of love interest that nick seems to be, but i find myself thoroughly enjoying him. the stark contrast between how he sees the world and how benji sees it (including benji himself) has made both the worldbuilding regarding the inhabitants of this world and nick himself feel more real. the Strong Silent Leader of the Rebel Faction is a ya love interest that can often feel cookie cutter and underdeveloped in ya distopia, but nicks pov really gives that insight into his character. plus as a neurodivergent reader, so much of that aspect of him is so relatable.

speaking of trans/neurodivergent rep, i like what theyve done with it! im white, so i cant really speak to the quality of the racial rep, but i like what i see so far with trans rep in particular. i love that there are both multiple trans characters and that they are allowed to be very different from each other. theyre messy! they disagree! its very refreshing

i am so so so excited to finish this book and if you reading this want to try it out please check out the cws for this one! most notably off the top of my head theres lots of religious trauma, body horror, transphobia, queerphobia in general, familial relationships that are toxic if not abusive

[lily-arum]

This IS the moment(s)

And also, izzy come back i miss u this isn't you ☹️🤏

Lucius being like their child & calling ed on his bullshit and ed fixing it immediately is a must have in tropes😠😠💕 (#fuck miscommunication) /s

i don't know jokes about weed and all but like, its funny if they do it lmao

They are a weird combo but still works

Kawawang mga to kulang lang sa pagmamahal ahahahahah

[magnatherium]

the point is ,, they're holding hands

[gothiccrocs]

/ i am still on hiatus but it’s the weekend, which means no college! i’m around and will hopefully be around after next week as well! i’m active on gc’s too. i hope everyone had a good week and will see you all properly in a week! ❤️