#i cant even think straight right now
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Ok but Ahsoka seeing the Clone Wars with the perspective she has years and years later?? Knowing that all those lives lost, all of it, was for nothing?? Knowing that Anakin would become Darth Vader no matter what she did?? She’s asking him why, why are we doing this?? What does it matter?? I need to go lie down
#star wars#star wars rebels#ahsoka spoilers#i cant even think straight right now#ahsoka#ahsoka live action
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ok ok I trust you to be as insane about this as I am
in the seven eight nine dialogue, when Alphys talks about how seven loved five and was just doing what they felt they had to, Toriel interprets it as being Asgore doing what he had to for monsterkind, but I think she was actually thinking of Undyne doing what she felt like she had to by attacking Frisk, because she loves Asgore (and Alphys). being "sicced" on them as the captain of the royal guard, and playing the rule of the "misled antihero" in undertale's story.
when Toriel says that this makes seven "weak", Undyne bursts in with a distracting display of strength, trying to dismiss the topic. you could make the argument that she just wants to defuse Toriel from being mad at Asgore, but she has a seriously pissed look on her face. as if she took that personally, but also didn't know how to argue with it...
ANON. ANON YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT FOR THIS HOLY SHIT. ANON. ANON WHO ARE YOU ILY
DUDE YOUR MIND UXJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJD IM AO CTAZY ABOUT THIS MAN TY FOR SENDKNG THIS YOU ARE SO SMART OML SHSHSJSKSKSKK
^actual image of me right now thank you so so so so much anonymous. When I find you.
#OHJHHJKIGHHSHDDDHHDHEH i am fuckijg sick with feelings right now#anon dude how does it feel to be so freaking right dude#omgggg im insane this is making me insane anon ily#who sent this............#sorry i didn't answer this straight away btw this whole day ive been somewhere really loud so i couldnt properly process the 789 dialogue#but my god now that ive read it along with your analysis......... hhdndndndndnddn#i am SICK#ough someone else being peak undyne understander™️ this has extended my lifespan for fifteen million years#you. you get it.#undertale#asks#undyne#utdr#undyne undertale#undyne analytics#undertale analysis#utdr newsletter#toby fox newsletter#undertale newsletter#deltarune newsletter#i cant#i cant even think right now#dude#dude tysm for this#undyne nation ily o7#this ones for @w-a-ll-s (? hope i got that right) @ryyyybaaaa @shedpuns @potatolord72 and @mistymountainsgay .thr gang.
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Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG
the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside
Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online
#snap chats#clerk fully provides this information straight faced. by the way. and still pointing out those are for “”“”“The Dog”“”“”“”“#inviting all of you to assume the three of them became Vaguely Acquainted while charles and erik were fran shopping#like you know how you just happen to do small talk while at the store. at least five months of accidental small talk has led to this moment#'oh yeah i know these are his favorite- [Insert Food Here] right' and charles doesnt have to turn around or probe eriks mind#to know he's itching to leave the store but he cant just do that lest he validate this clerks suspicions#charles absolutely wants to try to laugh it off and tell the clerk he cant give these to his dog but the clerk Just Stares#they dont gotta say anything else ... charles dont gotta read their mind ... he wont argue he'll just swallow his shame and take the goods#anyways ... if anyone needs me ... im gonna succumd to the 3PM nap#i almost made it to 4 but alas ... i am sleepy ... then im gonna work SO im done answering asks for the evening#maybe ill answer some more tonight but i really have to focus. after my nap BYYYYEEEE#im gonna giggle about this new scenario tho ... Cherik Pet Shenanigans Somehow Getting Goofier Than Previously Thought#will have to do more thinkings of that down the line .... for now nap time 😴 cause i repeat i am five years old 😴
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arcane season 2 act 2. how are we all doing??
#i have been SOBBING for about 30 minutes straight thanks for asking#before watching the 6th ep i was like 'cant believe how viscerally i react to arcane!' I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA#WHAT KIND OF HORRORS I HAD COMING. I WAS A FOOL#FOR EVER THINKING THAT WAS THE MOST I WOULD FEEL#posting this live btw i cant help myself i need to cope and seethe (except instead of seething im weeping like Big Baby)#back to sporadically queueing everything very soon#almost-spoiler in next 2 tags ->#I NEE DJAYCE TO FUCKING ROT IN HELL IM NOT EVEN KIDDING. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD OHJ MY GOD#HE LITERALLY RUINED EVERYTHING. *EVERYTHING.* IDC WHAT SHIT HE SAW THAT MADE HIM ACT THIS WAY I NEED HIS ASS GONE RIGHT NOW#shut up crisa#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 act 2#arcane 2#arcane league of legends#arcane s2#arcane season two#act 2
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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((sorry ever since august after hte coffee scare ive been nonstop being lightheaded and i still cant get to the doctor without being put in a worse state. ive sworn off any caffiene ever since then and tried other methods to make myself feel better and none have helped. i also nearly passed out at the renaissance fest, and twice tonight. i cant play exciting games anymore. so i have this constant light headedness and brain fog. and im lucky whe nit does go away and pass but it comes back around like clockwork. i know what i need to do (medical care wise) but my situation is so complicated .i WISH i could go to the doctor. its not about the money its about my mental state which is severe. so im sorry i do not respond well enough or stay very long. im so unwell. and i feel like im gonna die sometimes. it isnt anxiety or fluids or noneo f that. if that was it id be better by now. this is CAUSING my severe anxiety though thats for sure. ))
#just sory about that i can barely be around anymore or do enough anymore im so angry#if i had the methods back then to sue dunkin for not listing caffiene easier on their fuckin board i would have. bc i felt like i ha#a stroke back then and i dont even know if i did or not! i dont know if theres a blockage in my brain right now. im so fucking pissed.#i used to drink cofee just fine not from caffiene but just taste i enjoyed it#then i used to also drink tea and soda with NO problem. like straight water. i could handle all that shit. now i cant even eat CHOCOLATE wi#without a reaction#health problems /#ooc#i think im gonna need a wheelchair at this point from how often it keeps making mee feel like ill black out
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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you can easily tell someone does not live with stomach issues when their go-to recommendation if you have no appetite/nausea is strongly flavored Japanese, Mexican, or indian food because it 'helps with digestion and is easy to get down!'
#even thinking of eating any of that shit rn is making me actually gag :)#and i eat exclusively east asian; indian; and latin american food. this isn't a white person going 'ew curry how gross'#i love that shit but if i attempted to eat it right now i would spew everywhere before i eveen got it into my mouth.#btw what i actually can stomach during periods like this is garlic rice (on the plainer side; not as heavily garlicked as i'd do normally)#WATER. i literally just chug water constantly when im sick#NOT TEA. do not try tea. you might think 'oh this is a bit more filling than water' but no. it will haunt you all day long.#tea is SO hard on your stomach you can get ulcers from it. dont try to drink tea when your stomach is acting up IT WILL ONLY HURT YOU.#and FRUIT. as in fresh fruit. not processed in any way. if it comes from a tree then even better.#some examples would be apples; peaches; plums; pears; oranges. just eaten straight like that. i cant even stomach them if they've been cut#tried and true <3#ive had severe stomach issues for as long as i can remember btw. basically missed all of 3rd and 4th grade bc i was sick with stomach#infections so often and for so long#you can trust my advice
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for an akifuyu stan i sure do struggle to draw autumn and winter troupe
#chibi wise my main challengers are juju and tasuku ( mostly bc of the hair )#but my big boy style?? hoo boy#banri is usually fine but his eyes and face shape are hard to keep consistent#juzas hair and build give me problems and so does his eye shape#taichis hair is like. controlled fluffy. i can never get it quite right#sakyos hair ( ESPECIALLY his bangs ) are dumb and stupid and i hate them ( i hate drawing short straight hair )#im getting used to omis hair its mostly his face and build that i struggle with now#azamis mostly alright but his half up hair gives me trouble#tsumugis hair is horrible i hate drawing it ( ignore all the stoatmugis ive drawn its DIFFERENT )#tasuku. where do i even start.#his hair is stupid his facial proportions are wack#i cant draw his build and i cannot for the life of me get his nose to look right#i cant decide on a definitive color pallete for him#ive only finished two pieces with him there and unless i am asked i have no plans on increasing that number#( im so sorry nocturnality )#homare is mostly face proportions. and that long fringe messes me up sometimes#plus i try to make him more lean but since i usually draw him w hiso and/or azu he just ends up getting twinkified#i THINK i understand how hisokas hair works. i think.#i do still struggle with azus ponytail. . .#its not fluffy like nagisas so you cant see it unless its over his shoulder and sometimes i just cant draw it right#plus even tho its easier than sakyos bc its longer. its still straight. and i am not good at drawing straight hair.#guy im ALSO mostly used to now its really just making sure he does in fact look older#and not just like. a twink i drew tear troughs and dark circles on yk#part of that is his face shape. i THINK i got it down now but i def need to practice more#alongside the whole 'glasses character without glasses' thing#yeah#not akifuyu but tenma is also a HUMONGOUS pain in the ass to draw#i hate his hair so much#now that i think about it the only ones i can draw satisfactorily are haru 😭😭
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Well that's an awkward family reunion if ive ever seen one
uh anyway this is like a month old and im not 100% satisfied w/ how it turned out but i dont think i'm going to try and fix it up any time soon so yeah. that's all youre gonna get ig
#my art#my funky guys#the longer i look at this comic the worse it gets so im NOT going to look at it! and im gonna post it anyway!#anyway yeah. eeneks fight or flight response is to run away BUT if they cant do that then theyre gonna BITE. HARD#thats just how it is with them#something is dangerous/uncomfortable/doesnt align with your worldview? avoid it! and i you cant do that?#attack it whithout thinking#great strategy bestie. no notes. flawless plan. youre so smart and mature for that.#zora wasnt going to straight up kill a random kid tho i prommy...... she just wanted to scare and intimidate them into leaving her alone#what she didnt take into account was that the random kid in question is her missing little sibling with the panic response of a feral cat#god you can see that i was still figuring out how to draw zora when i drew this#right now she just looks a bit Wrong in some of these panels lol#also jeez this is so low effort. didnt even make any backgrounds. theyre in the fucking void#oh well at least it exists!! it looking a bit like shit is still better than it not existing at all!!!#i say through gritted teeth
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Here's an interesting thought. Does L*ney primarily deal with shame (heart) or fear (head)? Does he seek to have an identity (heart) or security (head)?
To elaborate a bit more, this is some information about the heart/feeling triad:
This is some information about the head/thinking triad:
The thing with L*ney is that both descriptions can apply to him. It's just which applies more?
For instance, L*ney presents a false identity to the world. He hides who he is because he does not want to be perceived as weak. He wants to be relied on. A big part of his lore is trying to be the big brother L*nette deserves.
On the opposite hand, L*ney is extremely anxious. He pushes himself out there and to do things when in reality he's scared and insecure. Only when he's supported by his family he's able to calm down. Without this support he loses all ability to think clearly. He's lost.
Here's what I'm deciding between:
Type 3 (heart/feeling)
Type 6 (head/thinking)
Or Type 7 (head/thinking)
The odd thing is that the description for type 3 matches the most, but as a whole, I can't help but feel that fear and anxiety (head) are more a core part of L*ney's personality and struggles than shame (heart). Proving his worth (heart) seems to matter less to him than ensuring his security—his family (head).
So I'm caught at a loss.
#character analysis#i am not typing his full name or tagging bc i dont want this found in search haha#if any of you guys have any ideas let me know#if you want to read where i got the resources from its 'wisdom of the enneagram'#if you google that with 'pdf' you will be taken to some archive website where you can download it#the pages i'm specifically referencing is 54-59#tho it's best to start from 51#let me say i wrote this without doing any research haha#i'm going off of my mental info from a few months back#ugh#my gut is telling me 6 my head is telling me 3#an argument can be said that his anxiety is driven by not living up to what's expected of him#but it seems to me what matters the most to him is ensuring that his family (his security) is safe#but technically speaking does that have anything to even do with ennea?#i dont think so#this is so annoying i know the answer is right there clear as day but i cant see it#i'm in brain blast mode right now i can't think straight haha
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iggypan
#shut up luci#delete later#i cant keep thinking of alice going to japan for a meeting but deciding to arrive early to do some casual tourist things bc its been so long#since shes done tourist things. anyway this is like the early aughts or late 90s whatever. she goes to the bridge to see all the cool fashio#fashion and maybe take pics like a rude tourist. maybe even check out the shops and buy something cute. and shes like WOAH so many cool styl#styles. heavily inspired by me england i am england i invented punk me personally i did that. and goth. whatever the hell this lolita is#is also clearly inspired by european fashion. and vw's mini crini line.#she just thinks jfash is neat. doesnt rly get all of it but she likes it. its cool. but then as shes taking picture like a rude person#she notices one girl look straight at her and then duck and turn around and speedwalk away. and iggys like oi wait im sorry i'll delete the#picture im sorry miss i didnt mean to be rude! and when she catches up to her shes like ?!?!?! sakura??? why are you dressed like this???#and sakura is like ahhhh i didnt know you would be here. sometimes i dress up when i am not working. it is fun i have some friends who like#to meet up here. yes humans. ahhhh >_< i really didnt mean for u to see me like this..... and iggys like oh its no big deal i dont mind.#i think this whole lolita thing suits u. hahaha remember when i used to dress all punk and gothic and whatnot? what you wear outside of work#is your own business. plus its cute :3 like u :3 hey maybe next time we can dress up together and go clubbing or to a concert. er...#a live as u say. haha lol. and sakura is like mmm perhaps. that might be fun. and then alice is like Right now how do i get to the maid cafe#from here. and sakura is like >_> ok um which one.#i love them
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If you fuckheads are still trying to justify this garbage game for garbage fascists, here’s a comprehensive fuck you to the defenders of it, or just the people who claim its “not that bad” to support. your allyship is literally nothing if its so flimsy that a shitty video game is too hard to boycott.
#jk rowling#fuck terfs#hogwarts legacy#harry potter#swinging a bat at a bees nest with this but im fed up with fascists#also yes. it is that serious. she has political influence. she sides with right wingers that also hate the quote 'real' women#yall seem to think you're defending by stanning her#theres going to be a bill introduced in the US if trump wins again that outlaws being transgender pretty much straight up#so fuck you absolute invertebrates who can't commit to caring about people because of a video game you'd otherwise forget about in a month#gonna receive nasty shit in my inbox#it only fuels me you fucks#cant wait for the false equivalences too. 'you said i was a fuckhead and thats mean. you're as bad as me advocating for fascism and bigotry'#also thank you james stephanie sterling the queen#they do not MISS!#which ive recommended their channel before bc their career got fucked when they came out as trans#but even more so now!
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*wakes up in the morning to wipe my tears* so we're just going to keep living like this???
#personal#i lied im not making a post about disappointment#bc america has already disappointed me over and over again#and it's tiring#disappointment really depends on the situation#and i think if ur disappointing ur parents by like choosing a career that you know will be worthwhile then do it#if you fail then you fail. (good) parents want you to succeed#it's up to you to choose what you believe is the right thing to do#i think america is just ignoring all the warning signs and going straight into destruction#i dont know why. it's so hard hearing about people 'surviving' rather than living#im here waiting for a full time job/career and i have been working towards this for five years now?#kept doing minimum wage jobs#its not enough#i can't even afford to live on my own in an apartment.#that was my dream. to have my own place and to have my own cat#and i cant even do that#at least not right now#but even working towards that.... come on#that's the bare minimum
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not doing very well 🤩
#😐#idek if the exam went well or not but right after i turned it in i walk out and started crying#and now like a cute cry but like straight up sobbing#and like ik it doesn’t make sense bcs even if i tanked it i can take a resist in a few weeks but im so stressed bcs i have too many classes#and i feel like the more i try to do well in all the worse i do in all of them#also my physical health is doing soooo bad lately like i could barely get to the exam hall today#and now i cant find the strength to go home so im sitting in the lobby (still crying)#idk i feel like suxh a failure and a mess#and so many ppl kept asking are u okay like dude im literally sobbing what do u think#anw! gonna listen to music to calm down#maybe i’ll call my mom
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