#i cant even remember why i started liking him??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaifootsteps · 22 hours

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How I imagine the SH writing room

Crew: and then Blitzø the gang to LA to track down Loona—

Vivzie: And stolas is there.

Crew: What?

Vivzie: And Stolas is there. For Stolitz.

Crew: But Viv we have a concept written of blitzø and Loona. Stolas just had the entire musical premier all about him, two songs about Blitzø, episode 4 is about him, and he has three more music numbers about Blitzø on the way. The fans will notice. We can’t just shoehorn in your favouri—

Vivzie: Stolas is there too or I’m pulling the plug.

Crew: (sigh) okay fine. Stolas tags along.

Vivzie: And it’s his daughter who ran away. Oh and then he treats everyone like dirt especially the imps, and abuses them viciously and angrily. Make sure to have a shot where he bursts into the office and terrifies the main four and they beg for mercy for upsetting his day. He strangles one imp to near death and Blitzø has a panic attack about having to contact him in the first place. Also Loona beats Blitzø to bloody bruises.

Crew: What?? Why?!

Vivzie: It pleases me.

Crew: Jesus Viv.

Vivzie: He’s not there. And I want two scenes of blitzø finding stolas really hot. Yknow, for the fans.

Crew: Yes we know…okay fine. Shove a blush and a smile in a random scene for Viv or something. Gonna feel a bit weird in the middle of abuse though. Anyways IMP tracks down the runaway. Who is Via now, not Loona. They have a touching scene where Blitzø apologises, and we were going to have Loona apologise here but I guess stolas can give his apology for—

Vivzie: Stolas does not apologise.

Crew: But you said he was being terrible?

Vivzie: Because that pleases me.

Crew: You said he strangled a guy.

Vivzie: Well because it’s funny. I like watching stolas hurt people. And the imp should have gotten out of the way. If Stolas apologises then we have to admit he did something wro—(gags) wrongg. And my fans might think they’re allowed to not like me-I mean him.

Crew: okay…and does Loona apologise?

Vivzie: No have her kick blitzø down and have him apologise for making her angry enough to beat him up. Then Loona tells that brat, Stolas is the best dad in hell but make it less blatant than that. Octavia apologises to her dad too. Make sure stolas and Blitzø are holding hands.

Crew: Okay…how did we even get here.

Vivzie: And I want the start of the episode to open with Stolas talking about space with cool meteor visuals.

Crew: More Stolas in Space? Fine…god i cant even remember what the original premise was… Um Viv? With this Blitzø battering and his several mental breakdowns, and now the retcon that the book deal was started by his flirting, and the anti blitzø party coming up. Did Blitzø piss in your house plants or something?

Vivzie: (scribbling stolitz smut) did you say something?

I feel like this is probably barely exaggerated from the reality.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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luneariann · 7 months

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Sigh

#sometimes my guy friends mame me think ''yea some guys are actually cery soft and nice and cool and i like tjem''#and then sometimes a man will do something horrid and I'll remember why i ever had such hatred for them as a kid #anyway i dont hate ALL men #but man #i hate most of em imma be frank w yall #i hate the ones that cant take no for an answer #cuz tell me why i told tjis guy i wasn't interested like 20+ times and he jusy #kept talking #muffled screaming #it was such a nice day too 😭#we went to the river today and swam and it was awesome and he was our guide #and he looked p young so when we started goofing off i thought ''#cool new friend #ERRR #WRONGGGGG #screaming cryinh tjrowing up #he bought me food even tho i explicitly told him not to and then he complaiwd abt how i made him waste money after i rejected him for the #tenth time #i cant bro #anyway yea #people who don't understand what rejection is! explode #please #ruined my day #damn #tw vent #vent

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theygender · 2 months

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This is your sign to get back into playing that video game that you love but put down a long time ago and never picked back up again for no discernable reason

#started playing breath of the wild again a week or so ago after a youtube video about why we put down games showed up in my recommended #i can link the video for anyone who wants it but the most helpful advice in it for me was to just. try playing it for two minutes #if all your fears were right and you cant get back into it then you can put it right back down after the time is up #but if youre enoying yourself then you can keep playing #a big part of my fear was that i wouldnt be able to handle the combat anymore after going like a good couple years without playing it #bc one of the biggest things i love about botw is that for the most part. link doesnt level up #theres no attack and defense stats that level up as you earn experience and make him mechanically better at fighting #for the most part its YOU the player leveling up your fighting skills with practice #...but that also meant that after so long away from the game i was scared that i would have lost all my skill at it #and the learning curve would be too great this late in the game (literally the ONLY main storyline thing left for me to do is fight ganon)#but i played for two minutes and i remembered how much i loved the game. like firsthand not just vague recollection #so ive been running around doing side quests and exploring and now it doesnt feel like im stalling the final battle anymore #it feels like im just intentionally taking time to fully experience the game #and after getting combat practice in again with my exploration im finding out that my fears were wrong!#if anything im even BETTER at combat now than i was when i put the game down #back then i was still terrified of facing lynels and walking guardians #but now im taking them down before they can even get one hit in on me!#im so proud of myself and im having so much fun #so. for anyone else out there. this is your sign to do the same #rambling #maybe once i finish breath of the wild i can even finally start on tears of the kingdom 🙏

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cowboy-robooty · 11 months

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dude can you please do a face reveal i need to see what you look like. or draw yourself. im so curious im sorry ok bye have a good day

yes i do look like the most sterotypical asian man imaginable. yes i am a biology major. yes i use reddit. yes im an incel. yes my favorite subjects are math and biology. yes i wore polo shirts through all of middle school. yes i am blind without my glasses. yes the lenses are so fucking thick they stick out of the frames. yes i have racist huge front buck-teeth. yes i am abnormally short. yes im a shitty driver. dont ask me about my penis.

#i put two vers bc i have a half failed stache going on #but like people either notice it immediately or dont at all until someone says something then they cant unsee it #im a late bloomer and its been getting thicker recently but not enough to shave yk?#also started developing a hint of a master shifu thang under my lip but a tiny hint nothin special yet #i have eternal asian youth btw okay know that as a highschool senior in my mixed classes some thought i was a middle schooler #bc my highschool was mixed with middleschoolers #when i go to restaurants outside the asian community i get handed the kids menu sometimes #wieners friends saw a photo of me hanging with him 2 months ago and asked why he was hanging with an 11 year old #everytime i tell people my age theyre surprised its hell on fucking earf #dont even get me started on what happened in barnes n noble when i was buying my chinese yaoi (shoutout to those who remember when dat)#ask #also i am 4'11 and that is normal for my family my mom n dad are like 5'1 n 5'2

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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months

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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc

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wolfywolfy · 7 months

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Genuinely I love Julian's route in The Arcana so much. The potential of it, this inherent pull towards someone and you don't understand why -- he's admitted guilt to murder yet you can't help but feel this strange insistence that he's innocent. You don't know how, but your body, mind, & soul are screaming at you that this man that you have never met before is good, he's not what others say he is, he's not what he himself says he is; and then you learn that he doesn't even remember what happened, he just assumes he's the guilty party because he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was. Why else would he forget unless it was an unbearable guilt he couldn't bear the weight of?

And, on top of it all, he has this same strange familiarity with you. How does he feel when he sees you in the shop and his heart stutters? When suddenly his aimless searching for something feels resolved, when he looks at you and everything feels right? He doesn't know you and yet his body remembers.

The mutual amnesia of people who used to be extremely close. He sees you for what he thinks is the first time ever, but his body is telling him no, we know them, we miss their touch. And you, the apprentice, slowly realizing you're feeling the same things? You immediately trust him because, before you forgot, he was your partner. Your mentor. Somebody you were so incredibly, incredibly close to, but you died and he blamed himself and everything crumpled and he made himself forget so it could never happen again and then --

There you are. And neither of you remember, but at the same time, some part of you does. The muscle memory never left. He touches you so casually, pats your arms and grabs your hand and leads you around the alleys as if it's second nature because it is. He dreams of your face and his torment and of losing you, and doesn't realize that it was real, and that his body itches to hold you because that part of him can't bear to lose you again.

I am obsessed with it. How many little tells are there, really, that the two of you share and hint at it being an old habit from times forgotten? How many little touches used to be daily routines? How many flutters of visions aren't just passing thoughts and wishes, but memories?

You think of how hard it would be to kiss Julian with a plague mask on, and his response is "Imagine trying with two of them," because he wanted to kiss you when you were his apprentice, when you were both desperate and tired and aching and tortured by the plague with only each other's company as a comfort. Maybe that's why you had the thought of kissing him in the first place, too -- but neither of you know why the subject was brought up, neither remember, yet some parts of you do.

Ugh. I love it. And when Julian finally does regain his memories? And he realizes you're real and you're here and you've been here, and he has been able to touch you and hold you this whole time, but now he can truly appreciate it, but he's also horrified with the weight of losing you all over again. Oh my God. It's so good. The potential underlying thoughts and emotions are so good.

#im rambling #im just obsessed with past lovers who have mutual amnesia #but they both feel this weird sense of /rightness/ when they find each other again #and everything starts moving so quickly and its too quick to be comfortable yet it is more than comfortable #its natural its instinctual because you both fit #youve always fit you just dont remember #the tragedy the beauty the intimacy #the love shared inherently between people who cant remember why #but their bodies know they miss each other #and touching one another comes as easy as breathing even when everything around them is telling them no this is dangerous this is not sane #he is a murderer he is a terrible person he will hurt you #but your body says /no/#because its whispering /i know him/#grabs my heart and sobs into the pavement #im so sorry im rambling so much i just. its so good. i wish we had more books like this #not the one sided amnesia trope but the TWO sided amnesia #you dont remember what happened you dont remember who you used to be but your body is screaming /its them its them its them/#sigh #julian #julian devorak #the arcana #the apprentice #arcana #arcana apprentice #spoilers #julian spoilers #Julian route spoilers #ilya #ilya devorak #Wolfy speaks

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

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agnimybeloved · 3 days

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i do wish death parade stuck with just the more intimate case-by-case story structure overall... the wider worldbuilding and narrative just doesn't hold up that well and i personally get impatient in the middle of the series 💔 i think going super vague with how arbiting works and adding more judgements would have made for a stronger series overall, with the overarching narrative just sticking to chiyuki's arc and maybe one or two other arbiter judgements like they did with ginti if they wanted to still make the world feel wider. though i really think making it smaller overall would have really been the move...

#the only series ive ever wanted to be almost completely episodic lol.... its just such a fantastic episodic premise 😭#i was wondering why i didn't remember past the first 4 or so episodes and then i was like ohhh #thats all they do before they start doing other stuff 😭 the judgment pairs are the meat #like i just want 12 episodes of that....#the worldbuilding is just so weak for how much the intended plot relies on it... also doesnt make sense #'arbiters cant stop passing judgement' but quin explicitly got a department change and stopped passing judgement #nona also is an arbiter i think and she doesnt do judgements either #they treat arbiter like a species not a job title so idk...#'arbiters cant feel human emotion' but theres no distinction made for what that is....#ginti is angry and pissed off all the time. he's sentimental. he's fond of his cat. he's egotistical. those are all human emotions...#the new fourth rule doesnt hold up because the third doesnt make sense to begin with #i do think arbiters being upcycled from the void is a great concept too bad they only mention it in passing at the end LOL #also idk why ginti cant pass judgement on that teenage girl 💀#ik she's a unique person and he's not great at his job but i do think its pretty clean cut #shes a passionate alt teenage/young adult girl... shes not fundamentally flawed or secretly evil.... send her back up 😭#i really dont even understand her ending.... whyd he bring harada back to have her make a moral statement #only to just send her into the void because she wanted to be with him...#sacrificing herself so he wouldnt be alone in the void is the second time she's selfless like that #so like.... why actually send her to the void 😭#makes for an awesome scene though....#the skating scene is also still one of my all time favs..... so so so beautiful and awesome....#dp

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triglycercule · 19 days

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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients #i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE #i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all #do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR #i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like #i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts #too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it #oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys #or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts #quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose #my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags #tricule rant #i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls #like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff #i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened #its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations #anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic #even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES #anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real #and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages #the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them #everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust #he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M #i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me #i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation #and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY #it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today

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cerealmonster15 · 3 months

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my hxh experience is also very confusing bc i started watching it like 2+ years ago at my partners apartment, but then i think we stopped for a bit / we moved around a bit, and kinda just never got back to it. then a while after we moved in with each other wayyyy later we eventually picked it back up and then this time in dub form bc it's easier for me to focus if i dont have to try and read everything quick enough and also see whats happening jfkldshg so it was like

sub version watched up through like halfway through york new auction arc or whatever

[2+ YEAR LONG GAP???]

picking right back up exactly in the midway spot where we left off, now in dub, i cannot remember Jack Shit and have to keep asking my partner [who has seen/read it before] what's going on and who everyone is every 5 seconds. there are so many characters and i remembered like 6 of them at best fdhjvlksjldhg. killua's grandpa and dad showed up like an episode or 2 after we picked it back up and i was like who are these guys. where did they come from. tbh being told who they were didnt help bc i still didnt understand why or how they were there dfshjfghjgf

#and then they did it again in chimera ant arc.... where did killuas dad come from since when was he in on the plan #AND WHERED THEY GO. I HAVENT SEEN THEM COME BACK SINCE THEN.... did they actually leave this time... i dont know #also dude i miss netero :[ we r like a couple episodes after the big mega heart attack explosion thing #i love a cool old man #i still struggle to remember peoples names bc god there are SO many characters #but chimera ant arc is so long that you at least spend a lot of time with them so theres some names ive eventually learned #but im still me so i cant tell you how many times i called meleoron 'lemeleon'#it's like pokemon with him i cant. remember it very clearly and i mix it up hardcore #other people i just cant remember at all so im like uhhh. ponytail guy <- which barely narrows it down they keep finding ponytail guys....#nobunaga.... shoot.... some other guy i think. actually maybe not that many idr LOL #dont even get me started on the spiders. it took me forever just to get nobunaga lol #there are soooo many of them and i had forgotten the first chunk we'd watched after the irl timeskip #so i was in realtime trying to recall who eveyrone was while they were doing shit and it was REALLY CONFUSING #i really need to restart from the beginning but im gonna wait til we finish the anime lol #oh also i like. completley forgot illumi or w/e was doing the hunter exam with hisoka in that first arc #bc literally theres like ONE or two brief moments in. idk if it was greed island or right before it #where hisokas like yeah i calld a friend. and illumis there like 🧍#and i was like he knows killuas brother??? theyre friends???#bc i just had no memory of them interacting before fdlkhgjkf #i like kinda forgot illumi existed til then i think jdkslf or maybe when he was haunting killua idr #actually we went back and watched part of an episode when killua was w/his family #bc i couldnt remember ANYTHING i was like. why was he there again. dont they suck or something. what happened.#and tbh. i still dont get what their vibe is hwhwhfhehg #things to revisit once i get out of the ant pit

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vilelittlecritter · 2 years

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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse #like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont #ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean #i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun #lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly #oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well #the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that #oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour #as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little #so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone #which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one #also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse #i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy #its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking #yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much #im also just really snappy sometimes #I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine #they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them #i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents #they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them #sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone #i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it #sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay #I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor #again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon #if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed #personal rambles #vent tag

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sukugo · 1 year

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got COCKBLOCKED in my own HOUSE (both literally and figuratively 🤔)

#f.txt #the house is my dreams. but the dream was in my house #ANYWAYS I HAD A DREAM. WHERE I WAS GONNA FUCK ANAKIN. BUT I DIDN'T BC DGSKDHSJHD #MY MOM CAME INTO THE ROOM 😭😭😭#so it started with anakin and me in a room. anakin was on a desk with his back to me working on some stuff on a computer #he was wearing s shiny tight leather jacket and jeans. and FUCK did he look delicious. just incredible #so i go to him and i like lift up his jacket from behind and start grabbing his waist.#and then i grab his crotch and start rubbing it (he had a tiny dick <3) (AND I STILL REMEMBER THE FEELING OF IT 😭😭😭😭)#at first he doesn’t want to and he kinda resists. but we all know im into that shit.#but then actually he does get into it and wants to. so i take him and push him into the bed #OK DGDJHF actually there was someone else who wanted to fuck him too in the room with us #idk who it was and for some reason all i remember is that it was spiderman (but i go like BITHC IM gonna fuck him)#(actually i think we agreed to both do it or smth idk) so then there's like some dick grabbing action going on #and then. my mom comes in.#and I'm like. girl. why. why would u do this to me. how could u fucking do this to me. do u not see me having THE moment of my life.#so she uhh sees us. and she's like uhhhh. and we make like if we weren't doing anything ahaaa whaat nothing weird going on here.#so in a desperate attempt to continue i grab anakin's hand and take him to the other room. where apparently there's my brother.#and i want to cry. bc CANT A GIRL HAVE HER PRIVACY PLS (like i get it irl but NOT EVEN IN NY DREAMS 😭😭)#anyways so instead we just like. lay in bed. im between his legs bc no one's gonna fucking get me out of ther now lmao #and we start playing clapping games. bc what else are we supposed to do. and my mom COMES IN HERE too #to u know check up on what we're doing. and the position is uhh not innocent but we're like hey we're just playing.#so she leaves. and then we get up and run in circles lmao.#but anyways yeah that was the end of the anakin fucking 😭😭😭#then it was hours of me having to listen to my mom and aunt talking about life hardships or smth #OH BUT THE END. i had another lil dream about exo/specifically kai. SPECIFICALLY about his thighs.#like there was a comeback or smth but his thighs were incredible. and then there's like a dance scene but he's mini tiny shorts #and when he moves u can See Things 😳👀#anyway that is the story. no anakin fucking for me 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i feel like this dream is so. representation of my Life. like yeah. this is literally my life.

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undermostcorgi · 7 months

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the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)

#heed my warning boy #it seems i am not well today #recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation #something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well #its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day #i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully #but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf)#but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is #and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him #my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me #so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks #but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it #and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao #so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that #and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves #ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO #anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF #i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY #ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA

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thewhizzyhead · 1 year

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oki persona ramble time: AS OF SEEING OKIMURA SR. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE GAME, I am honestly impressed with how this arc in particular developed Morgana's own development and inner conflict. like him feeling discouraged over being constantly undermined by the team as "just a dumb cat" has been building up for a while now even from his introduction and now that at this point of the story where there are more people in the Phantom Thief team + more time is spent away from Morgana + there are more instances of Morgana being ignored or dismissed (esp from Ryuji), it is nice to see a subtle running joke from the team in regards to Morgana actually manifest into an actual conflict. Same goes for Ryuji what with his rivalry with/constant annoyance at Morgana + the fame of the Phantom Thieves going to his head, causing him to really be consistent in his aggressively reckless pattern so far. Both character arcs are very much at the forefront in the Okimura chapter.

HOWEVER, I will say that Morgana's realization arc aka "Am I sure I'm a human? What if I'm the bad guy?" should've come sooner - and the same goes for the "Ooohh There Was A Mysterious Dude In The Metaverse Before You Guys" pattern. Both should've been a bit more hinted at because I've noticed that at this point of the story, those two plotlines have been received as stale due to constant allusions to the subjects but none of the actual development before the Okimura chapter. Morgana's character in particular suffers the most out of the staggered pacing because I've noticed that for some people, how he deals with his inner conflict became hard to sympathise with due to (1) the arc being rather sudden (an example being Morgana starting his "Am I The Bad Guy arc" through a dream of all things) and (2) because Morgana's character hasn't been well developed or explored further prior to the Okimura chapter - hence people adopting a similar mindset to Ryuji in terms of treating Morgana as a "dumb cat". Though it is possible that that take could've been done on purpose as to make Ryuji's demeanor more relatable, Morgana's entire arc and development suffers from it - which is rather sad because he could've been really compelling as a character for me personally if the pacing of the exploration of his character weren't as staggered.

#BUT THEN AGAIN I HAVE ONLY JUST STARTED THE OKIMURA ARC SO PLEASE DON'T COME FOR MY ASS WITH SPOILERS ABOUT MORGANA OR RYUJI PLEASE #but yea #i dunno #i've been watching rtgame's persona 5 stream and like #although i dont hate morgana at all - in fact in the beginning i found him quite endearing #i can get why rtgame hates his guts - morgana's whole 'i cant remember who i am' shtick has gone stale #and the development of his character has been rather lacking #when it should've been a bit more explored even a little bit prior to the okimura arc #so that the audience has more of a reason to be compelled by his story #i dunno its just really staggered pacing for me thus far #hOWEVER THAT MAY CHANGE WITH HOW THE OKIMURA ARC IS GOING SO PLEASE DONT SPOIL ME VJDJC #but yea thats all my thoughts rn: it should've been a liiiittle more developed before the okimura arc #persona 5 #persona 5 spoilers #persona 5 morgana

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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years

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It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.

Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes

#i don't really feel like ive been that poor either #most of the things i needed and didnt get were things me/my family could have afforded but refused to #i figured 'if I'd rather save up my money to get some new coloring books than to buy some new shoes i probably dont need them that bad'#maybe those are decisions they havent had to make #i cant be jealous because i cant imagine what thats like #i simply cant imagine it #oof now im remembering the only time i actually had to ask for new shoes and i didnt #i was growing out of my shoes and getting blisters from it but i kept putting off getting new shoes #because idk i guess it just didnt bother me that much until it started to hurt really bad #and i didnt want to ask my mom for anything either because yeah #she was the type of parent you dont ask for things from #eventually someone else noticed and said something along the lines of 'if you dont get him new shoes then i will' to my mom #and then she got mad that i didnt tell her?#it was all so confusing to me then but i understand why now. she just wanted to hide the neglect. she didnt really care about anything else #its why everything was fine and she never thought i needed anything until someone else said something about it #even with my eating disorder... she knew what i was doing but she didnt interfere until someone else told her i looked sick #but that wasnt until years after the problem started. funny how that works isnt it

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lecliss · 9 months

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Wait while I'm here lemme say something that's been on my mind for like 2 weeks at least. So, Yahiko was alive when Obito first came to Ame and talked to Nagato. The canonical ages of Obito and Nagato in shippuden are 31 and 35 respectively. So the ame orphans are all 4 years older than Obito. Considering Yahiko died at 15, the oldest Obito could be when meeting Nagato is..... 11. When did Obito have his death scare and meet Madara before leaving for Ame??? When he was 13. Sooooo... unless I somehow got something wrong, and please correct me if I did, Kishimoto is once again a hack fraud.

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