#dont even get me started on what happened in barnes n noble when i was buying my chinese yaoi (shoutout to those who remember when dat)

[cowboy-robooty]

dude can you please do a face reveal i need to see what you look like. or draw yourself. im so curious im sorry ok bye have a good day

yes i do look like the most sterotypical asian man imaginable. yes i am a biology major. yes i use reddit. yes im an incel. yes my favorite subjects are math and biology. yes i wore polo shirts through all of middle school. yes i am blind without my glasses. yes the lenses are so fucking thick they stick out of the frames. yes i have racist huge front buck-teeth. yes i am abnormally short. yes im a shitty driver. dont ask me about my penis.

[brelione]

Now That You’re Gone (The Best Boys)

Series Masterlist

NOT MY GIF

warnings:mentions of drugs, death, not proof read.also im pretty sure this is the longest chapter in the series.

 You didnt really remember coming back inside, waking up on the kitchen floor with your phone playing some random playlist.You slowly got up, looking into the living room.Rafe and Kelce were missing, Topper on the floor with his legs on the couch, drool on his chin.

You groaned, stumbling upstairs. “Kelce?”You called out, wondering if he had left. “WHAT?”He shouted from your bedroom, holding one of your pillows to his chest. “Nothing.”You replied, opening the door of the guest room as you searched for Rafe.

He was half asleep, eyes closing every couple of seconds as he stared at his phone, not even unlocking it yet. “Rafe?”You asked.He hummed, opening his eyes all the way. “Wha??”He asked, clearing his throat. “Just making sure you’re awake.”You replied, making your way back downstairs.

You didnt even question why Kelce was sleeping on your bed or why Topper was sleeping in the position that he was.It didnt seem that weird to you.But you couldnt understand why you had woken up on your kitchen floor with your phone playing music, feeling how hot the screen was.It had to have been playing for hours.You went to your texts, frowning when you saw a whole conversation that you couldnt recall having.

Unknown:She passed away this morning, the service is gonna be in mid august in venice.

You:What’d she pass from?

Unknown:Stroke.

You:Why is the service going to be so far from now?

Unknown:Cremation

You:wtf she never wanted cremation

Unknown:Thats what she said she wanted

You didnt need any context to know exactly what he was talking about.You werent surprised either, not feeling anything.You werent even shocked.You just sat there for a minute, letting out a sigh before checking all your other notifications.

Money was being transferred into your bank account, already having an additional 30k.You didnt even want to go to the funeral, it was stupid anyways.She had just left you like the selfish bitch she was.You got off the floor, going back up into your room.Kelce was more awake now, sitting up and scrolling through his instagram.

 “You okay?”He asked, noticing how you were walking a bit sideways almost like you were drunk.You hummed, opening your drawers and pulling out the first thing you saw.You quickly pulled off the shirt you were already wearing, too tired and disoriented to care that you werent wearing anything under it and that you were covered in hickies.

Kelce shriekedk, burying his face into the pillow.You ignored him, pulling on some baggy jeans. “Are you done?”He asked, voice muffled by the pillow. “My mom’s dead.”You replied, shrugging your shoulders.He frowned, looking up at you and studying your face, trying to figure out if you were serious.

 “Im sorry, sunshine.You okay?”He asked, opening his arms.You nodded, hugging him. “Yeah...its just...I dont know, is its bad that I dont miss her?It just feels wrong.”You admitted.Kelce nodded, understanding. 

“No, no, its fine, babes.She wasnt in your life that much so its totally normal.I think its good that you’re not upset, it means that you let go of that toxic part of your life.”He squeezed your shoulder lightly.You nodded, not sure if you believed him or not. 

“Yeah, I guess.”You shrugged, pulling out of the hug. “Im gonna go downstairs.”You told him, leaving your room and going down the steps, seeing Topper now completely on the floor.His eyes opened, looking up at you. “Hi.”He grinned, flipping onto his stomach.

You just looked down at him before heading into your kitchen, opening your fridge and pouring yourself a cup of juice, grabbing your vitamins and downing them with a sip of juice, sitting at your kitchen table.Topper frowned, getting up and stretching his long limbs, cracking his knuckles before coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

You just sighed, leaning your head against his arm. “Did you sleep okay?”He asked, trying to figure out what was off about you.You just shrugged, looking up at him. “Did you sleep in one of the guest rooms?”He asked.You shook your head, turning in your seat so you could rest your arms on the chair.

His face wasnt far away from yours now, his casted arm resting on the chair as well. “Are the boys still asleep?”He asked. “Nope.”You answered.He glanced over at the staircase, almost like he was making sure they werent watching him. 

“Do you wanna do something today?”He asked, kissing your forehead lightly. “Like what?”You asked, not sure what he was planning in his mind. “I dunno...do you want to drive?”He suggested, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

You raised your eyebrows, surprised he’d even suggest such a thing. “Drive where?”You asked, curious.He shrugged, biting on his bottom lip. “We could go to Barnes and Noble or to Dunkin Donuts...we could go thrifting or rock hunting.”He grinned, tapping his fingers along the chair.You didnt know why it happened or why you got the sudden urge to do what you did, leaning up and kissing him.

He was surprised at first, freezing up for a moment before calming himself, his fingers lightly grazing your waist.He pulled back for a second, biting his lip and taking in a deep breath.You didnt say anything, messing around with his hair.

He let out a soft sigh, leaning down again, kissing you gently.Rafe made his way down the stairs, glancing into the kitchen before doing a double take, eyes widening.He just stood there for a second, gripping the railing.He quickly turned around, heading back upstairs.Fucking hell.You pulled away from Topper, his thumb running over your cheekbone, his face a bit pink. “So...Barnes and Noble?”You asked.

Topper jogged upstairs, grabbing his wallet, turning around and seeing Rafe standing in the doorway of the guest room. “Topper, why?”Rafe asked, sighing.Topper raised his eyebrows. “Why what?”He asked, feeling himself tense up. 

“You cant-you cant just….”Rafe muttered, realising there wasnt much he could say.THe two of you werent official, he wasnt allowed to be mad.Topper walked past him, heading towards your bedroom to talk to Kelce. “(Y/N) and I are heading to the bookstore, you want anything?”Topper asked.Kelce raised his eyebrows, looking down at his phone.

 “Did she tell you what happened?”Kelce asked.Topper shook his head, confused. “Her mum died...dont tell her that I told you, I think she needs a good distraction.”Kelce got up, patting Topper on the shoulder.Kelce was heading towards Rafe, figuring that he should know too.

 “Why wouldnt she want Topper and I to know?”Rafe asked.Kelce shrugged, not knowing an actual answer.THat explained why you started showing a ton of affection towards Topper, you just needed something to occupy your mind.But Rafe could occupy your mind so much better.What did Topper have that Rafe didnt?Blonde hair?

You werent as nervous to drive anymore, knowing to take the back roads.Topper had the volume of the radio at 5, playing some music from his old study playlist.It was mainly indie music and anything that made him feel like a main character even though he would never admit it.

He was looking out his window at the passing trees, looking over to you every couple of seconds.The Barnes and Noble in Outer Banks was on the smaller side since not a lot of people went to it.You pulled into the parking lot, letting out a sigh of relief. “You okay?”Topper chuckled, reaching over and squeezing your hand. “Yeah.”You replied, smiling at him.

THe two of you entered the store, seeing the table of best sellers and new releases.He gripped your hand tightly, guiding you over to the fantasy section.His other arm was resting in his sling, looking over the different titles. “I know that they have a uh….uh….shit.Loki!They have a Loki book!”He exclaimed, proud of himself.You smiled, your thumb tapping his palm as your eyes scanned over all the book covers.You turned around, looking at the other shelf when something else caught your eye.

“Rafe-are you serious right now?I thought you were trying to get clean!”Kelce exclaimed, seeing the other lines that Rafe had prepared for himself.Rafe shrugged, leaning down towards the countertop when Kelce smacked the side of his head.

 “RAFE!What the hell is wrong with you?Put the bill down, now.”Kelce demanded.Rafe glared at him for a moment, tossing the twenty onto the countertop before stepping back. “What?”Rafe asked, taking in a deep breath. “Talk to me, man.You’re doing this for a reason, right?Why dont you just tell me the reason.”Kelce suggested, sitting down at the counter across from Rafe. 

“FUCKING TOPPPER IS THE REASON, ALRIGHT?”Rafe shouted, slamming his fists down. “HE’S NOT RIGHT FOR HER!HES NOT!AND I COME DOWN STAIRS AND HES ALL OVER HERE AND ITS FUCKING DISGUSTING!HE GETS ALL FUCKING PISSED WHENEVER IM AROUND HER BUT WHENEVER HE DOES IT ITS FINE.AND-AND NOW I CANT-I CANT BE ALONE AGAIN!HE CANT TAKE HER AWAY!”Rafe shouted, his voice getting squeaky and his eyes getting watery. “And I know-I know that I cant be mad at him but its so hard!Do you think she even cares about me?Like at all?”Rafe asked, hands shaking as he reached for the dollar bill again.

Kelce gripped his wrist, shaking his head. “Rafe, dont.You cant just snort some coke and have all your problems go away.She does care about you, I can promise you that.But its not her job to constantly validate you, you gotta do that for yourself.And we cant be dependent on her all the time, its not good for her and its not good for any of us.I shouldnt have done what i did last night but to be honest I think we were all in the wrong.This cant tear us all apart and be honest with yourself, you knew this would happen too.I always knew she was gonna have to pick one of us, I fucking knew it.Theres no way we can all be happy, everyones gonna be upset no matter what and as much as it sucks its the truth.But is coke gonna fix any of that?No.”Kelce finished, staring back at Rafe.

He was speechless, a few tears slipping down his face. “Im pretty sure she doesnt even want a relationship.Dont tell her that I told you this, okay?But….in the hospital elevator she told me that she didnt want to date you.I dont think she wants to date anyone and we’re gonna have to respect that.Fuck, im contradicting myself, arent I?I doesnt matter.I dont think any of us are stable to be in a relationship, we’re all so fucked up right now.”Kelce thought out loud, letting out a sigh. 

“Kelce.”Rafe choked out, taking in a shaky breath.Kelce raised his eyebrows, not sure what to expect. “The thing that (Y/N) and I have isnt the same as the thing you guys have.After yesterday I thought-I thought she saw me different, you know?I just...I thought I was special.”Rafe muttered, pinching his nostrils shut.Kelce frowned, not really understanding. “What did you do yesterday?”Kelce asked, thinking of all the possibilities and hoping he wasnt right.Rafe huffed, trembling as he spoke. “We slept together.”He replied, watching Kelce’s eyes widen, jaw dropping.

You and Topper stood in line, seeing his eyes widen when he saw Pope Heyward and JJ Maybank only a few feet away, the two of them bickering as they looked at notebooks.Topper almost let a rude comment slip out, reminding himself that he was with you.

JJ looked over his shoulder, smacking Pope when he saw the two of you. “Pope, Pope, Pope!Look-its (Y/N).”JJ grinned, looking back over to you.You squeezed Topper’s hand, looking over to JJ and flashing him a small smile. 

“Hi, JJ.”You spoke quietly, not wanting to be too loud in a bookstore. “Hi.”He waved, biting his lip before looking back down at the notebooks. “Hi.”Pope nodded, embarrassed.Topper didnt say anything, tapping his foot.The two pogues rushed off, laughing quietly.

You and Topper got back into your car, satisfied with the books and movies you two had picked out.He wanted to get the first movie he saw that just happened to be The Outsiders.You found a few realistic fiction books, deciding to get them along with a small raccoon plushie and a dinosaur bookmark for Kelce.

You ddint know why you had picked them, figuring it would make them smile.The two of you just sat in the car for a few minutes, not really ready to leave the parking lot yet. “Hey, do you wanna draw on my cast later?”He asked, becoming bored of looking at the same bland, bulky cast that clung to his arm.You nodded, carefully grabbing his hand.

Your palm was over his cast, his fingers closing around yours with a small smile on his face.The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes before you started up your car, Topper removing his hand from yours so you could drive properly.

He was playing the same song on loop for hours, hoping you wouldnt notice.He didnt know why he liked it so much, the beat and the overall vibe of it calmed him.Of course you noticed, starting to wonder how long the song was that it could be going on for fifteen minutes straight.

You didnt have a problem with it, glad that it calmed him and that it wasnt a terrible song.

He was half asleep, deciding to open one of the books you got, rereading the same line eleven times.He yawned, reading it again.He could never understand how you could keep up with storylines so well when you couldnt even remember something that had happened just last week.

You were driving ten under the speed limit, carefully pulling into your driveway. “You did a good job.”Topper kissed your forehead lightly, smiling.He lingered for a second, glancing down at your lips.

You rested your forehead against his, your thumb rubbing little circles along the side of his neck.He slowly leaned forward, pulling away a second later.His hand made its way to the back of your neck, kissing you again.

He wasnt as nervous this time but was still pretty nervous, not wanting to mess up or embarass himself.You were the one to pull away this time, taking in a deep breath. “We should go inside.”You told him, messing around with the hair on the back of his head.

He nodded, not moving yet.You eventually let go of him, taking your keys out and grabbing your Barnes and Noble bag, getting out of the car.He came with you, seeing Kelce and Rafe sitting in the kitchen, seeming to be in a deep conversation that had been interrupted by your entrance. “Hey.”You grinned at them, putting your bag down on the counter.

Rafe couldnt even bring himself to smile, feeling too exhausted.You pouted, trying to figure out what was wrong.His eyes were slightly puffy, his lips slightly red like he had been biting at them.He had been crying for a reason that you couldnt quite place, not wanting to push him to tell you what had happened.

Instead you reached into the bag, pulling out the plushie and pushing it into his chest before he could see exactly what it was.He looked down at it, laughing quietly.It had large, purple glittery eyes and a little tag with a link to a website.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you so that he could rest his head on your stomach.You gulped, sucking in your gut ever so slightly and hoping that he wouldnt notice.You raised your eyebrows at Kelce, looking down at Rafe, trying to ask silently what had happened.Kelce simply shook his head, placing a finger over his lips.

You nodded, running your fingers through Rafes hair, dragging your fingertips down his jaw, the bridge or his nose and his temple, feeling his arms getting tired as he relaxed, now draped around your hips.Topper sat down on the couch, holding the dvd in his hands as he waited for a time to watch it.

Rafe loved having you around, his breathing getting steady as you massaged his scalp.He knew that it was wrong to want to be in your arms when you had been kissing another guy but you just took such good care of him, of everyone.

You reached over to the bag, throwing the book mark at Kelce’s face. “Thanks.”He smiled, looking at all the little dinosaurs.He didnt read physical books too often but he always loved getting something new to add to his (Y/N) box. 

“Can you guys please come watch this movie with me?”Topper asked, peeling at his cuticles.Kelce got up, looking over to you and Rafe before nodding towards Topper, wanting to make sure that you two didnt get too caught up with eachother.

Kelce took the dvd from Kelce, putting it into your dvd player and switching the HDMI before sitting down on the couch, surprised when you chose to cuddle up next to him.He was relieved that you werent hesitant about giving them affection now that you knew the truth, resting his hand on your back.

Rafe rested at the end of the couch, poking at your knee cap, a grin on his face as he tried to annoy you.Topper sat on the floor, his head against the couch so you could reach out and fluff of his golden locks if you wanted to.The credits were at the beginning of the movie, all of you guys remaining quiet as you watched the screen.

 “Didnt we read this book in 7th grade?”Topper asked, putting the pieces together.You hummed, tapping Kelce’s chest. “Nope, I read it to you guys while you pretended to listen.”You corrected.Once Dally showed up on screen all the boys had turned to look at you, waiting for you to fall in love. 

“Come on, (Y/N)!Isnt that one your type!He’s brunette and just got out of jail!”Kelce pointed out.You grinned, shrugging. “He’s okay.”You replied, surprising them. “Hey, do you guys want to make a blanket fort later?”You asked, feeling bored with the set up of the living room.

They nodded, agreeing. “Yeah, okay.”Rafe nodded.It wasnt until the scene of Ponyboy’s parents getting into a car accident that anyone spoke again, Topper laughing. “Same.”He pointed at the tv, hoping you guys would laugh too.Kelce was the first to laugh, nodding. “We should sue the for stealing your plot line.”He grinned.Rafe chuckled, sighing.

 “Let me just call my lawyer, oh wait, my phone drowned.”He laughed again, looking over to you to make sure that you werent taking it to seriously.You simply grinned, rolling your eyes. “If I were a character in this who would I be?”Rafe asked, his head against your thigh.You hummed, thinking. “I dunno….I think Kelce would be Darry for sure but I think you would be Ponyboy cause you’re dumb.”You grinned at him, knowing you were about to get attacked.

He scoffed, climbing on top of you and laying down on top of you, his head on your stomach and his legs on top of yours, nearly crushing you. “You’re gonna kill me!’You exclaimed, flicking him repeatedly.He pouted, getting comfy.

Your phone began to ring but you chose to ignore it, figuring it was your uncle calling to ask if you were coming to Italy.The others followed your lead, ignoring it too.They were all there with you, it wasnt like anyone else really mattered.It wasnt until it rang for the eighth time that you finally picked up, whispering for Kelce to pause the movie as you held the phone to your ear, waiting for the person to say something first. 

“hello?”A deep voice asked.You frowned, not recognizing it. “What?”You asked, hoping it wasnt your uncle. “Um...is this (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?”The voice asked and you could hear tapping in the background. “yeah.”You replied, not wanting to give away anymore information.

 “This is your father.”THe voice spoke, letting out a sigh right after it. “I heard that your mother died, how are you doing?”He asked.Rafe was tapping at your thigh, trying to ask who it was, shutting up when you placed your hand over his face.

“How do I know you’re not lying?”You asked, feeling the boys all staring at you. “Do you know where your birth certificate is?”He asked.You hummed, pushing Rafe off of you and standing up, jogging up the stairs and opening the door to your mothers room.

It hadnt been touched for only the gods know how long, the ceiling fan gathering bits of dust along with all the cabinets and the tv screen.You opened her file cabinet, finding your birth certificate and placing it in front of you.

 “Do you see the name of the father?”He asked, waiting for your response. “Yeah.”You replied.Matthew Islands. “Does it say Matthew Islands?”He asked.Fucking hell. “Yeah.”You answered. “Theres your proof.”He replied.You gulped, sitting down entirely. 

“No, you have no proof that that’s your real name.”You replied, just hoping that this wasnt true.You couldnt handle this on top of everything else. “Would a liscense and my birth certificate be enough proof?”He asked.You held your breath, wanting to hang up and block his number so you’d never have to think about him ever again.

 “Your uncle gave me your address.I could come over and bring all of my documents if you want.”He answered.Your heart dropped into your stomach, eyes going wide. “No, do not come to my house.If I want to meet you i’ll meet you at a public place.”You replied, not liking the idea of some old dude you had never met that claimed to be your dad coming to your home.

 “Alright, where would that be?”He asked.You jogged back downstairs, staring outside your window. “What-where are you right now?”You asked. “Im at a hotel near the country club.”He told you.You sighed, sitting down on the floor. 

“The turtle beach...five thirty.”You suggested, breath shaky as you waited. “Okay, i’ll bring everything.”He replied, waiting for you to hang up.You hung up quickly, putting your phone down with a huff. “Who was that?”Topper asked. 

“My father.”You replied, shocking them all.Kelce sat up straight, raising his eyebrows. “And you’re meeting him?”Kelce asked, wanting to make sure he was hearing you correctly and he hadnt lost his mind. “Well, not alone.You guys are coming with me.”You told them, figuring that they already knew. 

“If he’s a psychopath im gonna be pissed.”You grumbled, standing back up. “And apparently my uncle gave him my address so now he knows where I live so now he can just show up whenever and hes gonna bring his ID and his birth certificate and I guess he’s been in OBX this whole time so its possible that I already know him which is just fucking weird.This is so weird-I dont even want to meet him!Like who the hell calls the day that their ex lover dies to tell their kid that they’re actually around in the same place and have been this whole time and didnt even try to help raise me?God, I hate this!”You exclaimed, pacing around.

 “Well at least you’ll be safe if you’re meeting him in a public place!Plus, if you meet him and you just want to leave we can leave.And if you dont feel safe staying here you could always come over to my house.”Kelce reminded you.You nodded, sighing.

 “But think about it, why would he be gone all those years?What has he been doing with his life?And why wouldnt my mom want me to know about him?He probably is a psychopath and thats why im so fucked in the head.”You laughed, trying to calm your self. 

“And like, I feel like something is just wrong, you know?I dont even know what it just doesnt feel right.Like mom was never here anyways but with her being like….gone gone it just feels like im being watched.Its gross.”You ranted, pulling at your fingers.

 “So why dont you just leave?You dont have to stay here everyday, we can just start hanging out at Rafe’s and eating all of his food.”Topper grinned.You shrugged, walking into your kitchen and walking around in a loop before coming back.

 “I feel like I cant leave.I dont know why.”You explained. “How about we just ditch your dad and have a sleepover at my house?We can go to the grocery store and play mario kart and we can watch Criminal Minds.”Rafe spoke softly, knowing his father couldnt yell at him if you were over.

 “Your dad doesnt like me.”You told him, looking for any excuse to stay home. “Are you kidding?You’re the most responsible, of course he likes you!Sarah likes you too!And you can come see the new lights I got for my room-do you wanna go to the thrift store and get some records for me to hang on my walls?”He asked, hoping you’d agree. 

“You could pick out a few less hideous shirts for me!I know you hate my pastel ones.”Kelce replied.With all of them trying to convince you the idea was becoming more appealing. “Okay...let me just pack a bag.”You muttered, going back upstairs and into your bedroom, grabbing a mint blue backpack and opening your drawers, grabbing some pajama shorts, a t shirt, some sweatpants, deodorant and a hairbrush.

Rafe came upstairs to grab the stuff that he had brought to your house, figuring he should do his laundry. “You okay?”He asked, watching as you zipped your bag.You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Why does so much happen in my life?I feel like the universe is specifically after me.”You mumbled, feeling his strong arms around you, leaning against him. 

“I know how it feels, chip.It’ll take a little while but you’ll feel better eventually, just promise me you wont hurt yourself.”He whispered into your neck, kissing your jaw lightly.You shivered, your hands falling over his, letting out a soft sigh. 

“I know.”You replied, closing your eyes as he kissed up and down your neck lightly. “You can always come over, you know.You dont have to call or anything, doesnt even matter if im home or not.”He pressed a kiss to your cheek, grinning when you turned your head so he could kiss you properly, letting out a low sigh.

He stood for a while, his warm hands running up and down your body, humming to you.He didnt know what song he was humming but he was almost positive that it was from a disney movie. “Are you humming something from The Lion King?”you asked.He nodded, kissing your forehead.

 “Can you feel the love tonight, The peace the evening brings, The world for once in perfect harmony, With all its living things.”He sang softly, remembering what the song was.He remembered you singing it constantly, getting the song stuck in your head for weeks.

You grinned, biting your lip as he blushed, continuing to sing. “He's holding back, he's hiding, But what, I can't decide, Why won't he be the king I know he is?The king I see inside?”You sang quietly, turning so you could hide your face in his shirt, giggling.

He turned bright red, squeezing you for a few seconds before letting go. “Lets get going so that we can make Kelce wear a blouse.”He smiled, grabbing your bag for you.Topper was taking the movie out of your dvd player and putting it back in its case, grabbing the barnes and noble bag and throwning Rafe his raccoon.

 “I will drive.”Kelce announced, opening the door and leading the group out to Rafe’s truck, getting inside.You and Rafe decided to sit in the backseat while Topper sat up front, controlling the music.Rafe’s hand rested on your thigh, tapping his fingertips on your kneecap to the sound of the music.

You reached out, playing with his fingers, tapping them and watching them wiggle.He sighed, not understanding why you were so entertained. “Where am I going?Grocery store or thrift store?”Kelce asked, pulling out of your driveway. “Thrift store.”Topper replied quickly.

Kelce nodded, trying his best to drive smoothly and avoid any bumps.Rafe moved as close as he could to you so he could get his arm around your waist, his other arm across your thighs as he rested his head in the crook of your neck.

Usually he wouldnt be this touchy with you when the boys were right there.Your heart skipped a beat as he started to kiss your collarbone and the side of your neck, biting softly as the tip of his tongue swirled around your skin.

You just had to hope the others wouldnt notice.Kelce parked the truck as he pulled into the parking lot of the thrift store, the four of you hopping out.Topper stayed close to you as you guys walked around the store.Rafe was incredibly out of his element, not used to stores that werent cleaned head to toe with music playing from speakers.

Walmart was one thing for him to get used to but a thrift store was a whole other thing.You grabbed a large yellow shirt, looking through the t shirts before you heard Kelce let out an excited shout, rushing over to you with a purple dress.

 “Dinosaurs!Dinosaurs!Dinosaurs!Come one, please!You have to get this!”He exclaimed.You sighed, taking it from him. “Did you check the size?”You asked. “That’ll fit you fine, your body dysmorphia just needs to shut the fuck up.”Topper kissed your forehead, holding up the dress before looking back over to you.

 “This’ll be perfect with those black boots you have and the frilly socks!You know the ones im talking about, right?Like they look like they were made with a wedding dress.”He thought out loud.You nodded, not really agreeing but you didnt have the heart to tell him that.

Rafe came into the isle, a large leopard print jacket in his hand. “Kelceeeeee.”He smirked, holding it up.Kelce’s face dropped, shaking his head. “No.”He replied. “Please?”You asked, pouting ever so slightly.Kelce sighed.

 “I hate you.”He muttered, taking the jacket.You left the thrift store with a dinosaur dress, a fancy tea cup, a dog lamp, and a large hawaiian shirt.After spending forty minutes at looking at records you had convinced Rafe to hang up album covers too since you had found a few disney ones.

 “Why dont you take them then?”He suggested, not wanting to have Anna and Elsa on his wall. “No, you need them.”You replied.Kelce was pretty mad about the giant stack of yellow, leopard print, hawaiian shirts and striped tank tops.

 “You’re such a bully.”he grumbled as you placed a holographic hat on his head. “Yeah but you still love me, right?”You giggled.The grocery store wasnt any better, Topper deciding to sit in the cart while Rafe tossed bags of chips at his face. 

“Hey, dont do that.You could hit his head.”You told him.Topper grinned, reaching out and pulling you by the back of your shirt so he could hug you.You placed a kiss on his forehead, asking what kind of chips he wanted. 

“Can we get cantalope?”Kelce asked, already putting one in the cart.Rafe was stumbling around a little, taking in a deep breath. “Hey, you okay?”You asked, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady him.He nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah im fine.”He replied, just as confused as you.You didnt really believe him, gripping his jaw and staring into his eyes, noticing how they were dialated.

 “Can you sit down please?”You asked him, pushing on his shoulders slightly. “We’re in a store.”He muttered. “Rafe, its fine.Just sit please.”You repeated.He sat on the floor, not sure what you were doing.

You sat across from him, pretending to read cereal boxes as a group walked by. “How much did you take?”You asked him.He gulped, trying to think back. “Umm...I dont know.”He replied.

 “How much do you usually take?”You asked. “Like...one or two.”He answered.You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “What can happen if you take too much?Do you think you overdosed?”You asked, keeping your voice quiet.

He shook his head. “No...no...I took like...six lines a few weeks ago.”He replied, realising how bad it sounded. “Okay...okay so what do we do?Should you drink water or-or-ummm okay.Can you see and hear?”You asked, not knowing what to do.He nodded, gulping. 

“I feel fine, like im fine.But it’s just weird.I dunno.Just dont worry about it.”He muttered, slowly standing back up.You tried to hurry the rest of the shopping trip, making them go through self checkout so it wouldnt take so long.

You grabbed a cold mountain dew for Rafe, tugging him by his arm over to the truck as fast as you could, making him chug the drink.He let out a loud burp, laughing right after. “See?Im fine.”He grinned, trying to convince you more than himself. 

“Why’d you get high in the first place?”You asked.He shrugged, going to hug you when you pushed him away. “Rafe, im serious.”You tried your best to sound assertive, worried that you might sound like his father. 

“I know.......I just went too long without anything.”He lied.You knew he was lying but you didnt say anything else, reaching for his hand to let him know that you werent mad at him.

He rested his head against your shoulder, his other arm resting on your leg, taking in deep breaths. “im sorry, princess.Im so sorry.”He whispered.You simply kissed the top of his head.

 “I know you are, Rafe.But you gotta be better, you guys are all I have and we already almost lost Topper, we cant lose you too.”You told him.He nodded, feeling the truck move a bit as Topper and Kelce got in.

Rain started to fall, the light in the car slightly blue as Rafe’s eyes slowly closed, falling asleep against your shoulder.Topper played a sad song on low volume, liking the vibe that he had created.

Kelce seemed to have forgot where he was going, pulling into a cumberland farms parking lot, sighing.All of you just sat for a moment, breathing and listening to the music.

Kelce took in a deep breath before backing out again, humming along to the song before pulling up at Rafe’s house.You rubbed Rafe’s back to wake him up, kissing his forehead lightly.

There were only a few bags, Kelce grabbing them all before heading over to the door, all of you guys getting inside and taking off your shoes. “Rafe-where have you-”Ward started, looking over to see you, Topper and Kelce before closing his mouth. 

“I see you brought friends.”Was all he had to say, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows to show off a watch.Rafe nodded, gripping your hand. “You have to babysit Wheezie tonight.No funny buisiness.”He said strictly, dissapearing.

Rafe glared at the wall. “Fucking idiot.”He grumbled, heading upstairs.You took a deep breath, following him with Topper and Kelce close behind you and into his room.Kelce placed the bags down, sitting on the floor.

 “Lets just wait for Ward to leave, then we can go into the living room.”Rafe muttered, taking the record covers and sliding the records out, letting you use the double sided tape to stick them to his wall.

His walls were a light gray that matched his carpet, his sheets white and his comforter blue.He had a few pictures of you and the boys on his nightstand, his hamper in the corner and a tv on his wall.

You could understand why he’d want to make it less bland, sticking the record covers along the wall, trying to make them in a rainbow order.It mustve been 5:30 since your phone wouldnt stop going off but you couldnt care less, turning off your ringer.

Once you heard the front door slam loudly and Ward’s car start up a smile came across your face.Once you hung the last record Rafe had thrown you over his shoulder, tossing you onto the couch.

 “RAFE!”Wheezie shouted, coming out of her room and storming downstairs, freezing up when she saw the four of you. “Yeah?”Rafe asked.She frowned, turning around and going back upstairs.

Kelce had pulled you into his lap, watching as Rafe flicked through the cameras, stopping on Nickelodeon.You had no idea why you guys had even gone grocery shopping since Rafe was planning on ordering pizza anyways, texting Wheezie to ask what she wanted.

Zoey 101 was playing, Kelce laughing for some reason. “Hey, you should do a little fashion show for us.”Topper grinned, remembering all the clothes.Kelce groaned, getting up and going upstairs.

You went upstairs as well, explaining that you had to show him how the outfits were supposed to go.He was laughing as you told him to put on the rainbow sweater with the leopard print jacket on top of it. 

“This looks terrible!”He exclaimed, telling you you could turn around now. “Its not that bad!”You laughed, moving forward to fix the collar of the sweater.He took in a shallow breath, not used to you standing so close.

He didnt even think about it, leaning forward and kissing you lightly.You were surprised, not really knowing how to react.You held onto the sweater collar tightly, pulling away. 

“Um....you still need to put on the hat.”You muttered, grabbing the holographic hat and placing it on top of his head.He cleared his throat, turning and looking in the mirror with a frown on his face.

 “Come on, dont be like that.Its not gonna look good if you’re grumpy.”You told him.He sighed, following you downstairs.Topper was recording, zooming in on Kelce’s grumpy face. “It looks great!Now give us a spin.”He grinned, watching as Kelce put out his arms and spun around. 

“I know, I look fantastic.”Kelce replied, putting his hands in the pockets of the jacket.He sat down on the couch, ignoring the squeak of the jacket material against the couch, holding a pillow to his chest with a grin as he watched the tv.You sat back down, pushing the hat off of his head.

 “Asshole.”He grinned at you, putting the hat on your head instead.The sound of the doorbell ringing caused you all to jump, not expecting the pizza to come that fast.Rafe answered the door, putting the pizza down in the kitchen and shouting for Wheezie, grabbing plates from the cabinet.

You had a slice and some fries, sitting down on the living room carpet.You werent even sure when you had fallen asleep, a blanket thrown over you and  Friends playing on the TV.

The boys were still awake, watching the tv. “Morning.”Topper grinned when he confused you, shaking his head. “Its not actually morning.”He chuckled, ruffling your hair.

You grumbled something, reaching for your phone and seeing ten missed calls and eighteen messages from your ‘dad’.You blocked his number, not wanting to deal with him anymore.

Thats when you got an idea, heading to the bathroom and locking the door, sitting down and beginning to type.It was to your mothers cellphone, not caring if your uncle saw it or not.

Dear Mom, 

I dont remember much about the last time I saw you.I dont even think you told me that you loved me.Your room is still the same as it was eight months ago.My friends were always here for me when you shouldve been.Kelce told me that writing a goodbye letter to something that hurt you is the best way to cope.So here I am.I feel like you’re haunting the house, it feels kind of bitter and I constantly feel like you’re still judging me.And now that you’re gone im not even sure how to feel about you.I dont even know if you thought about me during your last moments but im sure if you did it was out of anger and disgust.Thats all you really had for me.This is me officially saying goodbye, I hope you had fun in Italy.

You didnt even bother to reread the message, sending it out and turning off your phone, leaving the bathroom. “Hey, im just gonna crash in your room.”You told Rafe, seeing him nod in the dark.

You dragged your feet as you went upstairs, getting under his covers and resting your head against his pillow.You were half asleep when Rafe got into bed next to you, his arm moving around your waist.

You were confused when you felt someone else lay down, opening your eyes. “Its just me.”Kelce muttered.You hummed, resting your head on his chest. “Topper took up the whole couch.”He explained, kissing your forehead lightly.

You kept rolling over throughout the night, unable to get comfy until Rafe pulled you on top of him.You grumbled, sitting up, realising you were straddling him. “You okay?”He asked, still half asleep.You hummed, laying down on top of him, one of your arms hanging off the bed. “I love you.”He mumbled. “love you too.”You muttered, falling asleep only seconds later.

THERES ONLY A CHAPTER LEFT IM GONNA CRY

@sweetlittlegingy    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @drewswannabegirl​ @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rae131415 @annmariek8​ @harryswigss @ibookofstars  @teenagekook​​ 

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Not That Bad

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1,564

Warnings: all fluff

Request by @jae-sch : Okay, so I have another request based on an event that just happened to me, but this time it's an RPF. Jensen x Reader where the reader has a cavity and it's causing her a lot of pain but she doesn't go to the dentist since she hates it. But then Jensen forces her/ drags her to the dentist and sits with her while it gets fixed.

Summary: Having a cavity isn’t a good thing but you hate the dentist. Jensen knows you need to go so he tricks you into going.

Author’s Note: I hope you like this! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are mine.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

“Alright, I hope you like it.” Jensen said as he placed food in front of you. It was date night and when you picked out a popsicle stick from the date jar, it said home-cooked meal and a movie night in your own home.

“You know I will. You’re an amazing cook.” You leaned up and kissed him gently before pulling away. He grinned and got his own plate before sitting next to you.

“You know, I’m glad you pulled that stick from the jar. I think this is better than some restaurant.” Jensen said while biting into his steak.

“Yeah, I agree one hundred percent.” You smiled and took a bite, moaning at the flavor. However, when you began to chew, a shooting pain sprouted from one of your molars and you spit out the food, wincing at the pain.

“Wow, is it really that bad?” Jensen asked.

“No, it’s delicious. My tooth hurts.” You pressed your hand against your jaw and Jensen got up, before coming closer to you.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“It really hurts. Is there anything wrong? Did I cut my gums or something?” You asked, opening your mouth for him to see. He left your side and got a flashlight before shining it in your mouth. He moved your lips to get a better view but nothing was wrong.

“No, there isn’t anything there.” Jensen put the flashlight away.

“That is so weird.” You said and looked at the food your husband worked hard to prepare.

“Should we go to the doctor?” He asked, not knowing if it was that serious or not.

“Nah, I think it might be tooth sensitivity. You know I get that from time to time. It’ll go away tomorrow. I just won’t eat on that side. Come on, we can still have a nice dinner.” You said with a smile and he nodded.

“You’re right.” He smiled and continued eating his food. You threw away the piece you spit out and continued eating on the other side of your mouth. You were glad there was no pain on that side.

The next morning, the pain in your mouth was long forgotten. You had a nice evening with your husband and an even better night in your bed. So, when you walked into the kitchen and saw Jensen making you breakfast, your mouth watered at the sight.

“Something smells good.” You said and walked up to him, giving him a kiss.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” He said after you pulled away.

“Huh?”

“Your mouth. It’s better right?”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. It was nothing.” You smiled and sat at the table, watching your husband cook. After he was done, he brought you the food and got himself some.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” He asked, glad he was on hiatus so he could spend a lot more time with you. You were just a housewife since you could easily live off his paycheck alone. It gave you some relaxing time to yourself and you could spend time with him in Vancouver where he films without worrying about a job. To keep yourself busy, you volunteered at local charities and things to help out the community but there was nothing going on this week.

“Well, the new Avenger movie is out if you want to see that later? Oh, and I wanted to stop off at Barnes and Noble because my stack of books is getting kind of low.” You smiled, taking a bite of the delicious omelet he made. You didn’t think about the pain you had last night and bit into the food but cried out in pain before spitting the food out. You got tears at this pain since it was worse than before. Your bottom molars began to throb in pain. When you pressed your tongue against the side of it to help the pain, it actually made it worse.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Jensen asked, getting out of his seat.

“I don’t know, this is worse than last night. Oh God, it hurts.” You let the tears fall and he grabbed the flashlight again before looking into your mouth.

“You’re bleeding a little bit. Shit, we should take you to the dentist. This could be a cavity or something.” Jensen said and you immediately refused.

“No way. I am not going to the dentist.” You pushed your plate of food away. Even eating on the other side would still be painful, you knew that much.

“Sweetheart, you’re in pain. They’ll fix it right up.”

“No, I am not going to the dentist. I’ll be fine. The pain will go away sooner or later. I’ll take some painkillers. I’ll be fine.” You said before standing up and getting some medicine.

“Y/N, this could be something huge and ignoring it would only make it worse.” Jensen tried but shut up when you gave him a death glare.

“Jensen Ross, I am not going the dentist. End of story.”

“Okay, fine.” Jensen said but he was already forming another plan. He wasn’t going to let you sit there in pain. You were always a stubborn woman which is one of the reasons he fell in love with you but this was insane. Fuck your fear of going to the dentist.

Later that day you were putting an ice pack on your jaw since the pain was getting worse. You hated the dentist and hated that you had to go twice a year for a cleaning. But you didn’t want to go any more than you had to. It just sucked that you let this happen to you.

“Hey, sweetheart?” Jensen said, poking his head in your bedroom.

“Yeah?” You asked, putting the ice pack down.

“So, I was thinking…”

“Save it. I’m not going to the dentist.”

“I wasn’t going to say that. The Avenger movie is playing soon. Want to go?”

“Yeah! Sure!” You brightened up, hoping the sight of Chris Evans will distract you. You actually met Chris Evans once on the red carpet. It was a dream come true. You got ready and before you knew it, you were in the car, Jensen driving. You brought the ice pack with you because it was helping a little bit. You were hoping that something at the theater would help your pain.

As Jensen approached the theater, instead of parking, he drove past it.

“Jen, you missed the theater.” You said as your husband drove through the complex.

“No, I didn’t.” He said, pulling right in front of a dentist office.

“No! Jensen!” You yelled at him before staying in your seat.

“Sweetheart, you need to get that fixed.”

“No, I am not getting out of the car.” You crossed your arms and he sighed. He got out and walked over to your side, opening the door. You didn’t move but he leaned over to take your seat belt off. You started to fight him but he was much stronger than you.

“Jensen! Stop it!” You yelled but he got the seat belt off you before he got you out of the car.

“No, you have to go inside. I will be right there next to you. You won’t feel a thing,” He said but you struggled against him. “Don’t make me pick you up.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” You challenged him. He shrugged and picked you up by your legs, throwing you over his shoulder. “Jensen Ross Ackles!!” He shut the car door and locked it before walking to the office. People were looking over which embarrassed you but it didn’t bother you because the most embarrassing thing that happened to you was tripping on the red carpet for everyone to see. So, this was nothing.

“Are you going to behave?” He asked and you hit his back before he let you down.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I want a divorce.” You glared at him.

“Stop being so dramatic and get your ass in there.” He rolled his eyes, knowing that was an empty threat. You groaned but walked in the office anyway because you knew Jensen would have no problem carrying you inside.

You got your name down and when it was being called, your hands were shaking.

“Calm down, it’s going to be alright.”

“Bite me.” You whispered as you followed the dentist to the back. Jensen was there next to you the whole time, even when they put you under. The procedure was quick and painless and you woke up feeling loopy. Even after he took you home, you were still kind of out of it but Jensen didn’t care.

“Okay, come on, in we go.” Jensen said, bringing you inside the house.

“I feel funny.” You giggled as you walked to your bedroom.

“I know. The effects will wear off soon.” Jensen said, putting you in bed.

“Hey!” You groaned, looking at him.

“What?”

“We forgot to see the movie. I wanted to see Chris Evans.” You complained. Jensen laughed and took your shoes off for you.

“We’ll see the movie tomorrow after you’re better, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, get some rest and when you wake up, you should feel much better.”

“Thanks for taking care of me.” You smiled at him.

“If I don’t, who will?” Jensen joked.

“Bite me.” You muttered before falling asleep.

The Queens:

@mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @crispychrissy @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @posiemax @vonthesupernaturalwriter @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @jessikared97 @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @charliebradbury1104 @shaym-rassu @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @kristaparadowski @alex-zeppelin @bloodyvoodoo @jadalecki-jackles @likiyoshi-lijie @skybabydead @jae-sch @notmoose45 @the1younevernotice @heyitscam99 @lifelovelaughangell123 @jennferjareau @crazyspn67 @speakinvain @nunnallynara @gh0stgurl @spnbaby-67 @winchesterprincessbride @teamfreewillsstuff @internationalmusicteacher @crankthatcastiel @rhiannonj79 @calaofnoldor @untitled39887

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @carribear31 @dont-you-dare-say-misha @oreosatmidnight @not-naturalfangirl @iam-a-cutiepie @kristendanwayne @milo-winchester-4ever @jensenackesl @codyshany316 @helllonearth @juniorhuntersam @pouterpufftrain @ruprecht0420 @carriemichelle2012 @sandlee44 @gucci-daddario @kukindukin @starry-chaos @05spn18 @my-wayward-heroes @baconlover001 @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @onlydeanandjensen

[baek--honey]

1-50 bitch

well since u asked nicely how could i resist

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? paint/draw or the like, or knit maybe,

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own/owned? MY HOT MOMS SHIRT THAT I LOST ;n; also the big grey hoodie i have & a pierce the veil shirt i borrowed from my gf that im never giving back :)

4. How often do you play sports? never

5. What fictional place would you most like to go to? The Digital World

6. What job would you be terrible at? probably anything involving extensive memorizing and maintaining information for long periods of time. so basically a lot of things…… or maybe like. working at starbucks cos i cant make coffee OR remember lots of drink recipes omg

7. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for? playing kingdom hearts 2 on easy mode. i would have a good chance at winning because all the people that are good at playing kingdom hearts are gaming elitists that think playing on easy is for losers and if you dont play on critical mode you arent a real gamer :)

8. What skill would you like to master? making an omelet OR knitting

10. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? some out of town adventure with my girlfriend where money and time dont matter 

11. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would you change and why? uh i’d like to be less haunted by my traumatic past maybe! or be a few inches taller that would be cool i feel like both of these are pretty self explanatory 

12. What’s your favorite drink? W A T E R or milk tea 

13. What do you consider to be your best find? my girlfriend 

14. Are you usually early or late? way too early. too mcuh time i dont know what to do with it

15. What pets did you have while growing up? hm lets see i had a couple turtles, some fish, i had a gerbil that i got from a friend, an african grey named solomon, boston terrier named Tiny, two white boxers named Floyd & Lloyd, a mix named Macy, 4 chihuhuas named Dude, Pooty, Flout & Chief, and now we have a cat named Schrödinger :~), oh and an amstaff/dalmation mix named EL

16. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? anything and everything but never really asking for advice i guess? its more of them talking about a problem cos im easy to talk to and then me trying to help them come up to a solution if they need it

17. What takes up too much of your time? S L E E P I N G 

18. What do you wish you knew more about? cats!!!! also dogs cos i know a lot but i want to know more

19. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? why am i still alive?

21. Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? seventeen or monsta x, exo’s LMR repackaged album

22. What shows are you into? the office, lost, honestly nothing thats still running on tv, i havent watched a show in forever, oh god wait does anime count cos i could write the longest list of anime i love: haikyuu, nge, digimon, noragami ,,,,,,

23. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? Seventeen (Hangul: 세븐틴), also stylized as SEVENTEEN or SVT, is a South Korean boy group formed by Pledis Entertainment in 2015. The group consists of thirteen members divided into three sub-units, 

24. What age do you wish you could permanently be? a dog mom & i hope i can make that wish come true

25. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? napping on and off in bed with my girlfriend and then going to town for sushi & milk tea and then uhhhhhhhhhhh coming back home to nap some more and then go out for noodles for another date :} oh and a dog would be involved if possible because cuddling dogs is best

26. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? physically writing and sending cards/letters in the mail i guess? i dont know if that really counts as doing something the old fashioned way but i definitely dont get as many cards or anything in the mail anymore. i also like to keep physical hand written to-do lists & schedules and stuff

27. What have you only recently formed an opinion on? how bad exo are at dancing  turtlenecks and scarves. they are good 

28. What’s the single best day on the calendar? october 10th my dogs birthday and also narutos birthday

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? asmr??? 

30. What is the most annoying question that people ask you? “did u have a little lamb?” OR when my grandpa asks me anything about his iphone 

31. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on without absolutely no preparation? my dogs or seventeen. OR a half ass presentation about kingdom hearts, trying to explain it while getting around all the plot holes and not nailing down my arguments cos i dont really get it either and theres a lot i dont pay attention to but i could come up with 40 mins of info im sure

32. If you were a dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? no waking until 10am. no crime or anything will be allowed ill figure out some way to make everything perfect so women can go out alone at night and not be afraid. no discrimination !! all the poc, lgbt, disabled, any minority  will be welcome and have safe spaces and any hate will be punished by law. also everyones allowed to have pets in their homes and no home goes without food or power. am i doing this right

33. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? travel out of your comfort zone. like physically travel somewhere and make the most of it but do it with someone cos the buddy system is important

34. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? jackets. i will pay up to 100$ for a good jacket and wear it forever cos itll be confirmed long-lasting and also most likely very comfortable!!!

35. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of? i just want to point out that its not that i dont get the point of it because everyone has their likes and i have my own that other people dont i like that people are into whatever they want to be its just that i am Not into it. and that thing is yuri on ice

36. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? being able to wake up every morning next to my girlfriend and out pets :~)

37. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? corning museum of glass was super neat……. , dollywood, gatlinburg, chicago chinatown, idk i havent been to many interesting places 

38. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? i wana get a tattoo !!!!!!!!

39. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? getting a job interview at barnes & noble because now i have a job there!!!

40. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? diamond edge chicago

41. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? all i really want is that job where im paid to sleep 

42. How different was your life one year ago? tbh not that much different?? other than i was in school and now im not. i didnt have a job and now i do. i was a year further away from moving 

43. What’s the best way to start the day? talking to my girlfriend and also let me just say that first pee in the morning. perfect

44. What quirks do you have? what are quirks exactly i looked up examples to help me think of some but all im thinking of is…i cant have the volume on my tv or radio on an even number it has to be on an odd number??? i have to sleep with a fan on. idk dude

45. What would you rate 10/10? [MV] 몬스타엑스 (MONSTA X) _ 걸어 (ALL IN)

46. What kind of art do you enjoy most? abstract w lots of colors and shapes. geometric stuff 

47. What do you hope never changes? my ability to collect myself (unless it gets better which then i hope it does), my passion for art of any sort

48. What city would you most like to live in? anywhere except charleston and somewhere thats not extremely highly populated

49. What movie title best describes your life? Scooby Doo 2 - Monsters Unleashed

50. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? sleeping or hanging out with their pet

[your-modern-shakespeare]

A Little Too Real (2)

Part 1

Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 2950

A/N: So I feel super terrible about not posting anything lately. Things have been super hard and people are stupid and I’m trying to figure out a lot of personal things, but honestly all I want to do is hide away on Tumblr. But I really hope you guys enjoy this and I will try and be better.

Warnings: Talk of drunkedness, fluff, little bit of angst, mentioned depression

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire

READER’S POV

There were two things that were true about last night: 1) I drank WAY too much and 2) I didn’t remember anything that happened. When I woke up the next day (I had to admit that it was pretty late in the afternoon) I saw that I had missed a few phone calls and had some texts from Bucky. I quickly read through the texts and listened to my voicemails before I confirmed to every party involved that I was alive, but terribly hungover.

I did make it into work that day, though, no matter how late I was. But when I thought that Bucky would show, I was actually surprised to see Steve walk into my workroom.

“Hey Y/N.” He said.

“Hey Steve, what can I do for you?”

“I was just coming to check on you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I had a really great time last night and Bucky seems to really like you. I’m glad he has a friend on the show.”

“I love hanging out with him. I can actually speak Russian around him, which is awesome.”

“You speak Russian?”

“I was born in Moscow.”

“Wow. That’s really cool. I remember Bucky talking about Russia like it was another planet, he loved it there.”

“I know and It’s so nice to talk to him about it, I miss it everyday.”

“I bet. On another note, I’m having another party in a couple of weeks, which you are invited to, and I just wanted to get some input from an outsider.”

“I wish I could tell you but the last thing I remember is showing up at the party.”

“Oh no…that’s fine, no big deal, all that matters is that you had a good time.”

“I did…of what I remember.”

“Well good. So, I will leave you to your work and I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh and Bucky said he’ll be around later, I’m taking him out to lunch.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Bucky did swing by later and we talked, pretty much just like every other time before. And as we approached the start of filming, this was our routine.

Bucky and I had grown extremely close to each other. We told each other anything and everything that came to mind. Of course we had our secrets but we were still fairly new to each other. I couldn’t deny that I really liked what we had though. I didn’t know if it was anything past friendship or if it ever would  be, so I pushed down any feelings that I may have had and tried to keep things simple.

The week before filming for the first episode, I was typing up an expense report when I heard my phone ring and instinctively reached for it, not even seeing who was calling.

Y/N: Y/N Y/L/N

BUCKY: Is Mr. Wall there?

Y/N: No I’m sorry.

BUCKY: What about Mrs. Wall?

Y/N: No, there are no Walls here.

BUCKY: Then what’s holding up your ceiling? I heard muffled laughter on the other side of the line and immediately knew who it was.

Y/N: Bucky?

BUCKY: Hey Y/N

Y/N: I should have known that it was you.

BUCKY: Well if you really don’t mind, I do need to talk to the Walls.

Y/N: Ha ha you’re very funny.

BUCKY: I know. So what are you doing?

Y/N: At the moment typing up an expense report.

BUCKY: That sounds…boring.

Y/N: It is.

BUCKY: Well you should leave your boring job and come help me with something.

Y/N: Oh really?

BUCKY: What if I told you that it tied into your job…but it’s more fun.

I stopped and I thought about it.

Y/N: Let me send this and I’ll be there.

BUCKY: Great, I will see you soon.

Y/N: Yep

So I quickly finished my report and then I headed over to Bucky’s apartment. When I got there, I knocked on the door and he answered immediately.

“Hey, thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, no problem.” He let me in and closed the door behind me.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll take a water.”

“Coming up.” So he went into the kitchen and brought back a bottle of water before he showed me up to his bedroom. “So, as you know we are about to start filming the first episode.”

“Yes?”

“I need your help choosing the right suit.”

“Really?”

“Yes. This is a big deal, this is my first impression and you have to approve it anyway.”

“I already approved everything.”

“So you don’t want to help me?”

“I didn’t t say that.”

“Great. You can sit on the bed. And I will go put on my first suit.”

“You’re going to try everything on?”

“What’s more fun than a fashion show?”

“Okay.” So I moved to sit on the bed, resting against the headrest and pillows.

“So how did your reports go!” He yelled out.

“Good. I was under budget, which was nice!” I yelled back.

“That is good!”

“Are you nervous about the first episode?!” I asked.

“I don’t know! I’m nervous to meet the girls I guess!”

“Why?!”

“It’s just been so long since I’ve been on a good date, I don’t think I know what to do anymore!”

“You’ll be fine! This first episode is all about first impressions! You just have to go with your gut!”

“That can’t be all there is to it.” He walked out of the closet in a royal blue tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants, and a black bow tie.

“There are 25 girls and you don’t get a lot of time with them. If you have a good feeling about them, then keep them in and if you don’t, dont.”

“What do you think?” He said, slowly turning so I could get a good look at his suit.

“I think it’s a little too formal. You don’t want them to think that you’re too serious. You need to put on something that describes your personality.”

“My personality?”

“Yeah, something that says Bucky.”

“Okay.”

He went back into the closet, taking off his jacket as he went.

“You know, I don’t think I’m going to tell the girls my nickname!”

“Really?! Why not?!”

“Only people who know me call me Bucky! I think it would be weird if I had all of these girls calling me Bucky!”

“So you want them to call you James the whole time?!”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll just play it by ear!”

“Maybe once you get to the top three!”

“Maybe!”

I didn’t say anything else until he came out in his second suit.

“Why do you own a bright green suit?” I laughed.

“St. Patrick’s Day.”

“And that’s your personality?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you have that suit tailored to you?”

“What if I did?”

“You like St. Patrick’s Day that much?”

“I like holidays.”

“I’m going to give that a no.”

“Yeah. I have just the thing.”

“I’m ready.”

So I sat back against the bed and messed on my phone as he changed. I was drinking my water when he walked out, needless to say, I spit my water everywhere…and was choking.

“Oh my god!”

“I thought you said you were ready?”

“I am not ready for that.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Why do you even have that?”

“I have my reasons.”

“So you just happen to have a chip n dale costume in your closet. I didn’t see that when I went through it.” The costume was black tuxedo pants, a white shirt with the sleeves cut off, fake cuffs, and a bow tie.

“Because it wasn’t out in my closet.”

“Well I definitely think you should go with this look.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll assume a lot of things.”

“Oh and you haven’t even seen the best part.”

“Oh no.”

He just smiled at me, as he grabbed the collar of his shirt and ripped the whole thing off.

“See, it’s a tear-away.”

“I should have known.” I tried not to smile.

“The hard part is putting it back on…I guess it wasn’t made for that.”

“You would probably be doing something wrong.”

“You’re not wrong about that.”

“Go put on a real option.”

“Fine.”

He trudged back into the closet and I waited for him one last time. The next time he came out he was wearing a three piece grey suit and a burgundy tie.

“I think this suits you.” I held back my laugh.

“Was that a pun?”

“I guess it was.” We both laughed.

“You approve?”

“I do.”

“Great.”

He walked over to the other side of the bed and took off his jacket where I saw that he had put the chip n dale shirt back on, revealing the surprise sleevelessness that I had agreed to. I just laughed at him as he plopped down beside me.

“Hey you approved it.” He said, putting his arms behind his head.

“I know.”

“But if it makes you feel better I won’t wear the shirt for the real thing.”

“You won’t wear that shirt or you won’t wear a shirt?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”

“Oh no.” We both laughed.

As we settled I looked over at him and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about his arm.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“I think I know where this is going.”

“Well you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal.”

“You are the only person I know who has seen me in my chip n dale costume, I think we’re past personal for today.”

“Really?”

“That was a Halloween costume from when I lived in Russia. No one has seen it.”

“In America.”

“Touché. What’s your question.” I turned to rest on my side, facing him.

“How did you lose your arm?”

“Um…I was working in the mission control center, at the time I was training to be an astronaut, and there was an accident. I don’t remember much but I was working on a machine, an engine of some sort, and I got stuck. When they got me out, the nerves in my arm were completely dead and so instead of lugging around a lifeless limb, I opted for them to remove it. That ended my time at Roscosmos.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I’m not going to lie, it was. It was really hard learning how to do things with only one arm. Luckily they paid for me to get back to America, gave me a ton of money, and I moved in with Steve. I used the money to run research on prosthetics and paid for my therapy and Steve helped me more than I could ever repay him for. Of course, for a long time after the accident I couldn’t find the motivation to do much of anything. You know, ever since I was a kid I dreamed of going into space and I went to school so that I could go to space. Then I got my shot and I lost my arm. It really knocked me off my feet.”

“I could only imagine.”

“Steve was the one who dug me out. He took me to rehab for my depression and I went back to physical therapy and at one of my therapy sessions I met this little girl who had lost her left arm, just like me, but in a car accident. And she was just so happy.

“She didn’t care that she only had one arm, she never let it bring her down or limit her. I talked to her mom about what happened and since we had the same trainer, a lot of times our sessions overlapped. She really became a huge part of my recovery. Which is why she was the second person to test the arm, I really wanted to help her, like she had helped me.”

“What’s her name?”

“Luna.”

“She sounds cute.”

“She is and she is so smart for her age. And I’m totally convinced that she’s going to rule the world someday.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well as you know every great world leader has a metal arm, so she already has a leg up.” God, did he laugh. It was kind of mesmerizing.

“I’m going to have to tell her that one.”

“I hope she likes it as much as you did. But what happened next?”

“Well, then I sat down and came up with a prosthesis, this one. And I went to everyone I knew and everyone I didn’t, trying to get the funding and facility to develop and produce this arm. And I finally found one. Tony Stark.”

“Really?” Tony Stark is a billionaire technology developer. He’s brilliant and owns pretty much the biggest company in the world. You needed anything that was advanced in the slightest, he could do it.

“Yeah. He loved my idea and he helped me produce the prototype before we made the real thing.” He gestured to his arm. “Of course with one arm, I was mostly just there to help, I couldn’t really build anything. But as soon as I got mine to work and figured out a good way to attach it, I made one for Luna. It was her I-finished-therapy present. And even though I’ve been done with my therapy for some time now, I still see her. She comes in for diagnostics checks and every now and then we have to make her a new arm; she’s growing really fast.”

As he talked I absentmindedly traced the lines on his arm. I really had no idea that I had been doing it, it was strange, but kind of relaxing at the same time.

“When word got out about the arm and how successful it was, there were so many people who tried to buy me out. But they wanted to build them and put a huge price tag on them and I didn’t want that. So we develop them in house and we try and get as many people as we can to come in and test out other limbs. And someday we hope to make them more lifelike, but for now this is what it is and it works.”

When he finished talking, he looked down at my hand and the way it traced over his arm. I quickly pulled my hand away.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just not used to—people usually don’t touch it openly. Not that people are afraid of it, but for a lot of people it’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird, I think it’s amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean you’ve managed to create something that actually resembles a human arm. I think a lot of people would enjoy a prosthesis more like this.”

“Well I hope so. I really want this to be good for a lot of people. And I’m excited to see what happens next with this.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, it is really great.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Nope only one a night.”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, you can ask me a question.”

“Why didn’t you say any of this at the interview? It sounds like you’re doing great work, I’m sure they would have loved to hear all about this.”

“I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted to get the role for me, not because they were taking pity on the one armed guy. I am proud of what I have been able to do. I have made a great living and I have over come some terrible times, and it’s only made me stronger. But I wanted to do the show so that these woman can see the real me, because I’m tired of everyone just treating me like a cripple, that or a really rich cripple.” I laughed at him.

“I can see that.”

“I bet you didn’t even notice at first that I had a metal arm.”

“Actually I was the only one who noticed. I asked the other guys about it later and everyone else thought I was seeing things. So I didn’t say anything else about it.”

“Why didn’t you ask me sooner?”

“I needed a good reason to bring it up.”

“So me taking off my shirt.”

“Yep.” Now he laughed at me.

We sat in his room and talked until it got late in the day. And when it got late he ordered us some take out and we watched some reality TV, which Bucky said was to “help with his nerves.” Honestly I think it was just so we could make fun of people.  

I had so much fun with Bucky today, that I hardly realized that I really needed to go home.

“Hey, I need to head home, it’s really late.” I said.

“Oh, well thanks for coming over and helping me. I had a lot of fun today.” He walked me over to the front door.

“I did too and I’m glad that we could pick out your suit.”

“Yeah me too.”

“And don’t be nervous for filming, you’re pretty awesome. Any of the girls would be lucky to catch your eye.”

“Thanks, I guess. And I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes you will.”

“Bye Y/N.”

“Bye Bucky.”

I walked out the door, feeling better than I had in a long time. I don’t want to say that it was because of Bucky, but I would be wrong. 

What was I getting myself into?

PART THREE

[a-tale-of-two-comics]

A Way to You Again: Part 7

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Panic Attacks

Word Count:  1350

Catch Up Here

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request. 

DRAMA!

I always love hearing from you guys <3.

The next few minutes were a blur of me screaming expletives shrilly at Steve. “STEVEN FUCKING GRANT ROGERS – YOU LITTLE SHIT!” I yelled as I punched him in the arm.

“Hey! We could wreck! Maybe take it out on me later?” he asked as he rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked – trying to keep my voice level and failing miserably.

He shrugged somewhat apologetically. “Look – I’ve known Buck for a long time. He’s miserable without you, but he thinks you’re better off without him. He was driving himself crazy about it but refused to even listen to Tony when he said he knew where you were. He’s stubborn – there’s just no way around it,” he explained defensively – keeping an eye on me to make sure no further punches were in his immediate future.

“So… so he has no idea I’m coming?” I asked nervously as I chewed on my bottom lip.

“No,” Steve responded matter-of-factly. “But I can assure you he will be relieved when he sees you,” he added.

“Steve, pull over for a second,” I choked out as pure panic gripped me.

“Oh come on, Y/N! You can’t drive!” he whined.

“Pull over!” I yelled. The urgency in my voice finally prompted him to oblige. I jumped out of the car before it had fully stopped and ran into the nearby field where I promptly fell to my knees and vomited. I wiped my mouth with the back of my shaking hand as I rose unsteadily to my feet. So Bucky didn’t initiate this. He hadn’t even tried. His best friend was fighting for me and he wasn’t even trying. As I trudged back to the car I wished that I had never agreed to come back. I was better off alone.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked quietly as I climbed back into my seat and closed the door behind me.

“Why didn’t you tell me Steve?” I asked as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

He was quiet for a moment before he turned to me. “Because I knew you would never come back if I told you. What kind of friend would I be to either of you if I sat by idly and let you both ruin this?” When I looked into his eyes I knew that he meant it. He wanted so desperately for things to be fixed, but for some reason I doubted it would ever happen. I smiled at him weakly as he pulled the car back onto the interstate. The sudden feeling of panic had completely drained my energy. I resolved myself to finally lay my head back down on my makeshift pillow and close my eyes wearily. Within minutes I had fallen fast asleep.

“Y/N,” Steve whispered as he shook me softly. I grunted in reply. Why was he being so persistent in trying to wake me up? I just wanted to sleep a little longer.

“Go away,” I muttered grumpily as I tried to shoo his hands away from my arm.

“We’re here,” he finally said out of exasperation. This caused me to wake fully with a start.

“Oh,” I muttered nervously as I looked around the parking garage of Stark Tower. Bucky’s motorcycle was parked two spaces down – my heart almost jumped through my chest when I saw it.

“I’ll get your bags,” Steve responded as I exited the car.

The elevator ride was mostly quiet. Even after the nearly four-hour nap I had taken on the way to the tower I was exhausted. More than anything I wanted to escape to my room, take a long hot shower, and rest. The idea of seeing Bucky after the long drive was exhausting within itself. As the elevator doors opened we were greeted with laughter from the common room.

“Yo! Y/N!” Sam yelled from the couch – waving at me. “How was your vacation?” I smiled warmly at him and saw Tony turn to face me from one of the many chairs in the room. He offered me a small wink of hello. He had kept up the façade for me, god bless him, no one but those involved knew.

“It was great Sam, thanks,” I managed to respond back quietly.

“Who are you talking to?” Bucky called to Sam as he walked out of the kitchen – Natasha following closely behind. Sam didn’t have time to respond before Bucky’s eyes found me – the plate of food he had been carrying fell to the floor and shattered.

“Hi Buck,” I responded quietly, averting my eyes from him.

“Dude, what the fuck? You need help carrying your food around, grandpa?” Sam chastised as Bucky scrambled to the floor to carefully pick up the shards of glass and food that now littered it. It gave me an easy out.

“Well the drive was exhausting so I’m… erm… gonna head to my room to rest for awhile. I’ll be up in a few hours,” I muttered as I turned on my heel and fled towards the hallway that led to our rooms.

“Don’t forget – team dinner and meeting at seven!” Tony called casually behind me. I sighed as I neared my door— It wasn’t going to be easy to hideout in my room after all.

“Are you okay?” Steve whispered as he closed the door to my room behind him.

“Um.. yeah… I think so,” I responded lamely as I shifted uneasily. The sight of Nat being so close to Bucky made me want to scream.  “I think I’m just going to take a shower and sleep for a few more hours. I feel exhausted,” I muttered.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything. I’ll make sure you’re up for the meeting.” Steve smiled warmly at me as he opened the door.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, Y/N?”

“Will you lock the door before you close it, please?” He smiled sadly before turning the lock and closing the door behind him.

I sighed shakily as I sat on the corner of my bed. The last night I had spent in this room had been with Bucky and things had been so perfect. Now everything was all twisted up, and I didn’t know if there was a way to fix it. I pushed off the bed and headed to the shower – determined that it was exactly what I needed.

“What the hell were you thinking, Buck?” I could hear Steve’s raised voice through the wall. Dinner was less than an hour away so I grudgingly opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. Since Bucky’s room shared a wall with mine it was impossible to not hear the conversation that was unfolding on the other side.

“I don’t know, Steve,” Bucky responded gruffly.

“How about you try better than that?” Steve had hidden his anger pretty well for me, but he wasn’t holding back on his friend. It was the maddest I had ever heard him.

“Listen, I was lonely. You know what that’s like, right? She was there, and it was just a casual thing. It happened a few times… I know I shouldn’t have let it, but it did. I knew it was wrong so I ended it.”

“And then you did the same thing to Y/N?” Steve asked incredulously.

“It… No. I know it looks the same, but it isn’t. She’s different. It’s different with her. Well… it was different with her,” he added sadly.

“This is your mess, Buck. You better make it right with her,” Steve added before the slam of Bucky’s door rattled the wall.

There was a gentle knock at my door that caused me to shoot up out of the bed. “Who is it?” I asked nervously.

“It’s me,” Steve’s voice replied softly from the other side of the door. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” I called as I grabbed a zip up sweater and put it on absentmindedly. I opened the door and could immediately feel the tension rolling off of Steve.

“Are you okay?” I asked cautiously.

“Yeah, let’s get to dinner,” he responded as I followed him out of the room.

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