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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago

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A Little Too Real (14)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5, Part 11, Part 11.5, Part 12, Part 13

Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.

Pairing : Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 8090

A/N: Well...this is it guys! The very last chapter of A Little too Real. There WILL be an epilogue but I am so sad to see this one go. I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read and loved this story and I hope you guys stick around to see what I have planned next. I love you guys and enjoy!

P.S. There is a lot of theatre Wardrobe lingo in this chapter, sop if you get confused or have no idea what I’m talking about HERE is a guide that explains everything

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Fluff,

Y/N’S POV

My flight landed around 1 am and because it was so late and I had no way to get into my apartment until at least tomorrow, I checked into a hotel. I opened the room to a big king size bed and dropped my bags on the floor before collapsing on the bed. I didn’t bother to get changed or anything that involved me getting off the bed, I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers. I didn’t have the energy to do much else at this point, so falling asleep was easy.

When the morning came and my alarm went off, I begrudgingly rolled out of bed and got ready for the day. I had two four hour calls with one hour long lunch, which meant that my first call was at nine and still too early considering how little sleep I got last night.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep, believe me I was, but the guilt of leaving and the rampant thoughts of Bucky kept me from sleeping peacefully and woke me quite frequently. And of course the time difference kind of messed with my head.

But I showered, getting the airplane grim off of me, and did a little bit of makeup, wanting to look a little nice for my first day. I also chose something a little nicer to wear, but still comfortable enough to do all of my work.

According to the Assistant Costume Designer the first fitting for the day started at 9 am which was also the start of my call, unfortunately. So I left my hotel, got in a cab and made it to theatre 30 minutes earlier than the call time, wanting to have a chance to set up the fitting and get a lay of the theatre beforehand.

Once I got to the theatre I walked around the building until I found the stage door which was already open. Going inside I found one of the security guards who gave me my pass and key card for the theatre and was even nice enough to show me down to the wardrobe room, which he also unlocked for me. Inside the wardrobe room were racks upon racks of clothing and on the table, meant to be my workspace, was a stack of paperwork and keys to the wardrobe room, I was guessing. I grabbed the key off the desk first and grabbed the Roscosmos keychain that Bucky had bought for me, placing the key on the ring before putting it in my bag, where I couldn’t lose it. Then I started to go through the racks of clothing, opting to fill out paperwork after the fittings.

Not only were these costumes absolutely stunning with the different brocades and laces but also being in the Renaissance fashion made them so much more outstanding. So, knowing that Leah would be the first girl in today, I went ahead and pulled her costumes and put them on the rack inside the fitting room. I also found my notepad for notes and put things out on the table, just in case we would need them, like safety pins, straight pins, measuring tapes, and a few other things that we probably wouldn’t need but I put out anyway. Hopefully we wouldn’t need too much since these were final fittings.

So then it just became a waiting game. I was hoping that the assistant would get there before the actress did but sometimes it just depended on the person. From what I had heard I had gotten a good assistant to work with, so despite me always wanting to be early, I’m sure she would be on time for the fitting.

When I had finished setting up the fitting room, even pulling the next two sets of fittings and setting them closer to the fitting room, I decided to walk around the theatre, get a lay of the land. Depending on the show, the union status, and touring company, how nice the rehearsal space tended to vary. For instance, the first tour I ever worked was a small show with only about 14 performers, it was non-equity, and the touring company couldn’t afford to fly us anywhere so we were on a bus, which meant we were in a rather small theatre for the two months of rehearsals, fittings, and tech. With this show, where there were 22 performers, where this new tour was equity, and where we got hotels and flights, we got a much bigger theatre with space and organization and the ability to do a really good job setting up this tour.

So I wandered around looking at this beautiful theatre, wondering about what shows had played there, meeting a few people along the way, and eventually circled back to the Wardrobe room before 9:00 came around. I walked into the room, seeing someone looking at the clothing on the rack outside the fitting room, the ones for the two later fittings.

“They’re absolutely beautiful.” I said, grabbing her attention.

“Gregg doesn’t do anything but beautiful.”

“No he doesn’t. You must be Nakia.”

“And you must be Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” I reached out and shook her hand and then we turned back to the costumes.

“Well, I guess let me get you caught up on what I’ve done so far before the first actress gets here.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“So first, we have two four hour calls today, one for the three fittings and the second for the crew watch. I’ve gone ahead and started the paperwork for the costumes that have already been fitted, made the piecelists and hopefully after the run tonight I can start on the tracking. I also want to start an extra list for this next round of fittings so that we can start buying skins and of course I’ll go back to the actors who’ve already been fitted and ask them what they’ll want. I’ll make a list and have the shopper go pick up those items and extras for our gondola backstock. And I’m not sure if you know or not, but I already sent an email to Gregg asking him if he was using Broadway costumes for swings, since we had one drop out last minute.”

“Yeah, he handed me a stack of costumes this morning, they’re in my car.”

“Great, she’s our third fitting so, if you want I could go and grab them and bring them in?”

“Oh no, I have someone whose helping me out for the day, he’ll bring them in in a bit.”

“Okay. Other than that, the run through starts after the lunch break. You can sit in the house and make note of anything you see and I’m going to be backstage walking through the old supervisor notes and talking to the actors about what they think they’ll need for their quick changes and whether or not anything needs to change.”

“You’re not going to watch the show?”

“I’m going to be on the road with this tour for over a year, I think I’ll know the show front and back in no time.”

So the two of us started going over some of the other fittings from before, still waiting for our first actress to come in. We got to about 9:15 when I started thinking that she wasn’t coming.

“You know, in my experience, I’ve never had anyone show up this late to a fitting before.”

“Oh...did I tell you 9?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I meant 10. I must have been thinking 9 because we get done at 1 and a four hour call starts at 9. Leah won’t be here until 10 though.”

“Okay, well there’s plenty of stuff to do until she gets here and I’m hoping your assistant will get here before she will.”

“He should be here any second.”

“Well before he gets here I’m going to grab the rest of those shoes. I just got them back from the shop and now that they’re painted the color that Gregg wanted, we can order shoe paint too. It’s as if everything is coming together.”

“Yeah as if.” We both laughed.

So I went to the back of the room and grabbed as many boxes of shoes as I could, kind of like a juggling act, knowing either way that I would have to take a second trip. I set the boxes down outside the fitting room, on the ground below the costumes, grabbing Nakia’s attention while I put them in the correct order.

“Hey, did we ever get those other LaDucas in?”

“I couldn’t tell you the first thing about any LaDucas.”

That voice made the whole world stop and the only thing I could hear was the erratic beat of my heart. I wasn’t sure when I was going to see him again, I knew I would but I didn’t think it would be today.

I slowly stood from my crouched position and turned to face him, for a brief second wondering if I had just imagined the voice as him.

He stood there looking as handsome as ever in a tuxedo, the nicest one I had seen him in to date, and yet he looked absolutely exhausted and like he hadn’t slept in a while.

“Bucky...what are you doing here?”

“Well Nakia asked me to bring in those costumes.” He gestured to some costumes wrapped in plastic hanging up on the rack next to the other costumes for the fittings.

“I meant what are you doing in New York?”

“I came to be with you.”

“You flew out here—“

“To be with you and to do this.” He stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of my face, pulling me to him and, finally, kissing me. I relished in his kiss, sinking into his embrace, enjoying the moment...even if it was only for a moment.

I pulled away from him but not too far from his embrace. “You know, just because you show up at my work and sweep me off my feet, doesn’t mean I’m going to quit.”

“I know.” And again with the kiss...God, his lips...

And yet I pulled away from him again, my breath starting to get a little labored. “And this kiss doesn’t fix everything.” But God did I wish it could. And because it didn’t, I just wanted to be clear with him, despite the fact that he was doing a pretty good job of clouding all rational thought. It was just...when he kissed me it made me feel like I had before, all the times we had spent together before it all blew up in our faces. It was as if every time he brought his lips back to mine, there was something that reminded me of every reason I loved him.

“I know.” Kissing me again, he held me longer this time not letting me out of his grasp too quickly but letting me pull away anyway.

“There’s a lot that we need to talk about before things can go back to normal, a lot that I’m still confused about.”

“I know.” This time when he kissed me, he moved his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. This time I lingered a little longer with him, pulling away what seemed like forever later, when I was able to think of something else to say.

“And—“

“I love you.” He interrupted.

“You love me?”

“I love you so much, I have loved you since the second I saw you in that interview. I loved you every time you sassed me, I loved you every time you smiled or laughed, I loved you when you hated me, and I’ve loved you every second in-between. I know that there’s a lot that I need make up for and a lot that I have to explain but I would spend a lifetime getting in your good graces again if it meant that I got to be with you.”

“You love me?” He smiled and let out a laugh.

“Is that all you heard?” I tried to say something to him, anything but the shock of hearing those words said to me by him, made things very hard to comprehend. I mean I had heard what he said, all of it, but in my head it was as if there was absolutely nothing there, nothing but those words. “I’ll say it a million more times, if it will convince you of how much I love you.” He moved his hands back up to hold my face. “Because I do, I love you, I love you, I love you and I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I love you too...I have for a while.”

“That is the most heavenly thing I have ever heard you say.” He had this huge smile on his face and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. And this time when we kissed it felt different, I had pushed all the doubts and fears aside for one blissful moment. “Say it again?” He asked when he pulled away.

“I love you.”

“I will never get tired of hearing that and I love you too.”

“Bucky—”

“Don’t say anything yet. I know that you probably have a lot going through your mind right now, but if you’re willing, just stick with me a little while longer.”

“Don’t think for a second that I would give up so easily. What we have is worth a lot more than one mistake and two weeks without seeing each other.”

“I’m really glad to hear that. And I know that you’re about to have some fittings, but I would love to take you out for lunch...and maybe explain some things.”

“Anything with food is a win for me.”

“I see how I rank.” I laughed at him and moved out of his embrace for the first time since he walked in.

“So what are you going to do for the next three hours?”

“Well I was thinking about getting a room in a hotel nearby, take a nap, shower, change.”

“I was about to ask where you were taking me for lunch, you know, considering the fact that you’re wearing a tuxedo.”

“Yeah…” He laughed a bit at his outfit, “I picked it out for you, but then you didn’t come to filming so of course I had to wear it here. And despite the romantic that makes me out to be I do have to admit that I came straight here so I didn’t really think about changing. I really just kind of took advantage of the circumstance.”

This time I laughed at him, this was definitely the man that I loved. “Well, I like it a lot and I love a good romantic gesture. But to give you as much time as possible, you are more than welcome to go to my hotel room and do whatever you need to. I will say though, I need you to be back to the theatre by 1:00 if we’re going to get as much time as possible for lunch.”

“That I think I can do.”

“Good, so go get a nap in because you look exhausted.”

“Thanks.”

“Your welcome.”

I grabbed my bag and gave him my room key before he left. Nakia came back in and had this smile on her face, I didn’t say anything to her about it, I just spent the time I had left getting ready for the fittings.

And as fittings usually go, there wasn’t much to say. The three girls who came in today were incredibly nice and took the hour they were allotted to ask questions and to try on their looks for the show. Nakia explained when they would be wearing certain costumes and I made sure to take note of anything that I would need, as well as everything that still needed to be done. The only thing that didn’t settle when I saw Bucky for the first time, was how real the fittings made this feel. I was leaving LA, I was leaving my friends and the worst of all was that I was leaving Bucky. I knew that these three would always be there, but the idea of getting on the road and living out my dream made me torn inside.

I had taken this job because I thought I was alone, that I could head out and be completely fine, cut myself off from the world and from everyone who had ever left me or done wrong by me. But being with Bucky, no matter how fake the show had been, made my whole world better. He made me want to be happy, he made me push myself, and he gave me everything I had ever dreamed of, even if he didn’t realize it.

Before the third fitting was done, having luckily caught Bucky before he left the hotel, I texted him and asked if we could just order lunch from room service and stay in. Of course he was on board with that, but I just didn’t want to have a conversation like this in public. The short walk back to the hotel gave me the confidence to say exactly what I planned to, running everything in my head before stepping into the lobby.

I took the elevator up to the room and knocked on the door, waiting only a couple of seconds for him to open.

“Hey.” He said, already looking a lot better after a nap and shower, I could only assume. He was simply wearing jeans and a henley, but it was the way that the henley hugged his muscles that distracted me from what he had just said, my mind completely dropping all of the preparations I had just done moments ago.

He stepped out of the way to let me into the room, still looking at me for some kind of response. “Hi.” I managed to get out as he closed the door behind me and took my things from me. I watched as he did, having to remind myself, after the three hour break from each other, that he was actually here.

“See something you like?” He asked, when I hadn’t torn my gaze away from him. He just smiled at me, making his way back over to me.

“You.” I said, feeling relief at the fact that I didn’t need to hide what I felt for him anymore. I could so simply say that I liked him, so simply gawk at how handsome he was, it was a nice feeling.

“Me?”

“Who else would I look at?” Now standing in front of me he leaned down and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and really distracting me from the actual objective of this lunch.

I pulled away. “Bucky…” Even though I was smiling, I tried to give him a serious look, letting him know that I meant business.

“What? It was your fault.”

“My fault?”

“Don’t start something you don’t have time to finish.”

“Me?”

“Yes you, you were the one watching me...thinking about me.”

“You were the one who put on the tightest shirt you owned.”

“I see how it is.”

“Bucky…”

“I’m kidding. But it is noted that you like my shirt.” He winked at me and gave me one of those heart stopping smiles.

“Let’s order lunch before you get me into any more trouble.”

So we climbed up on the bed and grabbed the menu, quickly ordering before things got serious.

“So…” He started.

“So…”

“I definitely owe you an explanation.” The happy look on his face had completely disappeared.

“You know that this isn’t going to change the way that I feel about you.”

“I just don’t want you to be upset again.”

“Believe it or not, I think that putting what happened behind me is the best thing I can do right now.”

“Really?”

“I would like to know what happened though.”

“Okay...the morning after our date, I woke up before you did so that I could make you breakfast. Honestly, the best part of that morning was just how beautiful you looked, how peaceful you were, and just remembering everything about that night, how wonderful it all was. I went downstairs to the kitchen and right as I got there, my phone went off. I kind of figured it was someone from the network so I didn’t answer at first, figuring I could deal with them when I got back, but they kept calling. So I finally answered.

“It was a representative from the legal department and...and they told me that they knew that we were seeing each other and that they had proof. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but they obviously had video from the kiss in the wardrobe trailer. At first I tried to dispute it, but he kept going on about how it was in violation of your contract to date a coworker. Initially I thought that it would be an easy fix, that we would just have to keep us under wraps while at work. It was when he started talking about Jackson that I realized that this was a real problem.

“He told me that there had been some legal issues right after they arrested him. His lawyer tried to get him released on the grounds that I had assaulted him, that the whole thing had just been a misunderstanding between the two of us. Of course Asa fixed everything, but because I had punched him at work on network property, it was the network’s responsibility to protect me. So there’s the first strike against us.”

“The first?”

“The second one being all the time off you had. With your accident, you not being able to work and there only being the two of you, they had to start paying Wanda overtime for all the extra hours she was coming in. Not to mention they were still paying you because it was an accident you had no control over.”

“Please tell me that that’s it.”

“No...this one is my fault again. The thing with Chloe kind of blew up. First of all the ambulance and medical costs automatically went to the network because you were injured by a coworker on network property. They had planned on suing Chloe at first because she was the one at fault and there were a ton of witnesses that saw what happened. But her lawyer was counter suing because there was a grey area when it came to whether or not you were actually still working for the network or if your paid leave meant that you werent. Then there was the question on whether she actually did anything to you that harmed you or if it was all because you were sick before you came in that morning.”

“God, what a mess.”

“A very big legal mess and really a lot to keep from you, especially after having always told you everything. I understand that you would be upset.”

“I’m more upset that I was kept out of this, not really the fact that you didn’t tell me. I can understand a gag order and the reasons for upholding that. But you shouldn’t have had to handle that on your own.”

“Strangely enough, there were actually three gag orders.”

“Three?”

“Anything legal that happened with the network was heavily protected because they didn’t want any news outlets to get word of all the legal issues that they had with this show. The first gag order came from Jackson’s lawsuit, the second from Chloe’s, and the third from ours.”

“Ours?”

“More or less. The thing with Jackson was my fault, kicking Chloe off the show was my fault—”

“None of this is your fault.”

“I have to take some, that’s kind of why it’s ours and not just yours. That morning, I had to think quick and I obviously made a decision that wasn’t ideal. But after everything that he told me, after everything that you just went through, I couldn’t let the network take what your father had left for you. I had an inkling of what I had to do but I didn’t want to get to that point, so I called a different lawyer, not wanting to take Peggy away from you, and got a professional opinion.

“He told me that the only way for this to go away was to take away the only thing that they had on us, which was the idea that the reason I did what I did, was for you. And the only way I could think of doing that was to make you really mad at me, so that you wouldn’t talk to me. But he also said that there was no other option than to pick someone on the show and finish the contract.”

“I was going to ask you about that.”

“I chose Ulani.”

“I thought you would.”

“Well her girlfriend was very understanding so that was nice.”

“What?” I was completely shocked. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Ulani actually came to me and told me all about Diana and how they were in the exact same situation as we were, she wanted to help out. It was also nice to have someone to talk to about everything, well what I could talk about, but it was also nice because I knew that she wasn’t trying to be with me.”

“Wait, Diana...from props?”

“Yeah.”

“I would have never thought. When you said that you chose Ulani I felt a little jealous, but I’m really happy to hear that she’s happy with someone else. Not to mention, Diana is a total sweetheart.”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” He leaned over and kissed me quickly. “But no need to worry, because I choose you and I’m always going to choose you. I think the question is...are you going to choose me too?”

“Bucky, like I said before I’m not that upset anymore. The truth is I want to be with you, you’ve made me happier than anyone I’ve ever dated and honestly I can’t imagine my life without you. This...us, was always a little too real. In that world of fake words and plastic personalities, I couldn’t even begin to believe that I had met someone as incredible as you. It’s why I never said anything to you, I felt like we were stuck in a fantasy and that at any moment I would wake up and my reality would be without you. I should have known better because you are the most real thing I’ve ever had. But the fantasy is over and this is the real world...and you’re here.”

“I’m here for good.”

“But there are things to consider, things that change things, very real things.”

“No matter what ‘things’ you have going through that head of yours, I’m still not going anywhere.”

“But—“

“What are you thinking about?”

“A lot.”

“Give me one.”

“Well...the biggest one, my job. I may have taken this job when I was sad and not in the right headspace, but this is my life and I’m about to go on tour for more than a year. I hate to even think about it, but every relationship I have ever had has fallen apart under the pressure and quite frankly the distance, including mine with you. I mean, no matter what I did or how much I loved someone... they still left. If you left again...I love you so much that I don’t think I would make it through again.” I was starting to get really emotional.

“I’m here for every bump and curve, for every good moment and bad. What can I do to convince you that I’m not going anywhere?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know the first thing about a normal relationship. I don’t know how to quiet this anxiety and worry running through my head and I’m scared that I’ll do something to mess everything up.”

“Nothing you could do would ever scare me away. It was absolutely amazing to have you so close to me these past couple of months, a dream really. We’ve gone through more together as friends than most couples ever have to deal with and we were by each other’s side the whole time, disregarding the legal stuff. Our relationship is the most real thing I have ever experienced and transitioning into something more will come with its challenges. But just because we aren’t close to each other doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or want to be near you every second of every day. Just because we’ve been through some of the toughest things doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t go through more or even less with you. You are my everything...and you don’t give that up once you find it.”

“Really?”

“Really. I know it may be tough sometimes and we’ll figure things out as we go but I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else.”

“Me either.”

This time when he kissed me there was a relief that hadn’t been there before. No, we didn’t have everything figured out and we didn’t know the answers to every question we had but for the first time none of that seemed to matter, the fact that we loved each other was enough. And that was enough to push the doubts away.

“So I have a proposal then.” I said between kisses.

“Did you get me a ring?” He smiled at me and I laughed at him. “I’m kidding. What’s your proposal?”

“Can we just...start over...in a sense?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were my best friend for months and even though we were fighting our feelings for each other, there was something so pure between us. I feel like lately all we’ve had are awkward conversations and the occasional small talk. I never wanted us to get there, I don’t want anything between us to be awkward or tense, we’ve never been that way before.”

“I don’t want to be that way either.”

“Good. But the reason I ask is because of something my dad said. I’ve been thinking about him a lot and…” I paused, trying my best to keep my emotions at bay; he placed his hand on mine, giving me a small but great comfort. “The call that he had made to me, that day of our kiss in the trailer, I asked him about you after you left. He told me that only some people are lucky enough to find the person that they will spend the rest of their life with and honestly I think I got really lucky with you.”

“You got lucky with me? No, I got lucky with you, I never thought that you would love me.”

“Well, I do. And I want to put these last two weeks behind us and I want to have a first date where you’re not forced to disappear in the morning. I want to start fresh on the boyfriend/girlfriend front, so we don’t have to think about what happened.”

“Okay.”

“But that means that you have to come up with an even better first date.”

“Challenge accepted...I’ve got all of New York for ideas.”

“I’m off Monday.” I moved closer to him on the bed.

“Perfect.” His face, his lips moved even closer...

“I love you.”

“I love you.” And our kiss, was one of a new beginning.

****

BUCKY’S POV

I thought that I was going to have a harder time trying to convince Y/N that I hadn’t completely screwed up. I had already been feeling terrible about everything, doubting if she was ever going to give me a chance again, but getting what happened out in the open seemed to really help things. There was time to figure out the logistics of our relationship, there was time to get answers and time to fix the doubts; that would come with loving each other and diving head first into an actual relationship with Y/N. She had given me a second chance and that’s all I could have asked for. I would spend a lifetime making up to her these past two weeks, but lucky for me it seemed like that was already moving to the past.

So with the conversation done for the moment, and everything seemingly good between us, we ate our lunch, made some small talk, and she got ready to head back to work. Which meant that I needed to find something to do for the next four hours.

“I don’t suppose that you would want to come with me? We’re just watching the show and then there will be a production meeting afterwards. You can’t come to that but I’m sure I could sneak you in for the show.”

Or maybe not.

“Yeah I would love to go.”

So we headed back to the theatre and met up with Nakia before heading into the “house” as they call it. We sat in the middle of the orchestra level and Y/N grabbed a notepad, pen, and a huge stack of notes. Nakia had her laptop, a walkie talkie and her own huge stack of notes.

We didn’t have to wait long for them to start the show, they didn’t want to waste any time, seeing as, according to Y/N, the show was two and a half hours long. The opening number started and the cast came out on stage in there street clothes and though it was underwhelming without the spectacle of costumes and whatnot, they started out strong and sounded great. But let me tell you, for a crew watch there sure was a lot of talking.

It seemed like Nakia and Y/N had something to talk about every time someone walked on or off stage, which was frequent. Not only that but there was a tech table, as Y/N had explained earlier, that was constantly calling cues and talking about something that needed to be fixed. So if I was going to have to listen to people talk amongst the singing I opted to listen to Y/N, at least that way I would be learning something new about her job.

And tuning in, I definitely had a lot to learn. The lingo was the biggest thing, there were a lot of things I’m sure that didn’t get used outside of a theatre: pit pads, doubles, gondola and gondola village (she couldn't mean a boat right), DeLuca’s, tap mics, wings, ASM, PSM, DSM, Dead clothes, Prop box, on deck, preset baskets, tech week, 10 of 12 day, and more.

The whole thing seemed pretty confusing to me but I tried my best to catch on to what I could and I made note of things to ask about later. And then we got to intermission.

“You doing okay?” She asked me when the house lights came back up and I could really see her.

“Yeah, I find it kind of weird though that you’re supposed to be watching the show and yet everyone is talking.”

“Unfortunately that’s just how everything works when we’re this close to opening.”

“I was able to hear some of the things you were talking about but I didn’t understand most of it.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot more to theatre than there is to film...at least in Wardrobe.”

“Seems like it.”

“That and there’s a lot more that goes into a traveling production, we want to make sure that we have whatever we need for anything that could happen.”

So for the next fifteen minutes of intermission I asked Y/N questions about the things that I noticed and then it was on to Act 2.

This time around I didn’t have nearly as many questions and everyone seemed a little quieter this time around. It was nice to just pay attention to the show and to laugh at all the jokes and smile at the crazy musical number that happened towards the end. One thing's for sure, I was definitely going to get tickets to see this show.

Sooner than expected this time around, the show finished and the actors all came out on stage. The director quickly went up and started to give notes so that they could leave as soon as he was done, Y/N explained. So while he spoke to the actors, all of the technical crew started to gather around the tech table with notepads and the like.

“So why don’t you go and wait out in the lobby for me? Maybe find somewhere we can go for dinner.” She said to me.

“That I can do.”

“I’ll be out as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” So I walked out and found a bench to sit on in the lobby, pulled out my phone and started to look around the area for a good place to eat dinner.

NAKIA: Hey. Just heard from T and it looks like he’s getting off at the same time we are. Double date?

BUCKY: Sounds good to me. Any places in mind?

NAKIA: Yeah. I’ll have T make a reservation.

BUCKY: Great.

Not having a distraction anymore, certainly did make sitting in the lobby by myself that much longer. And yet somewhere amongst the waiting the actors came out and made their way out of the theatre.

For some reason I thought I had been in the clear once the show was over. I thought that the world would forget about me and move on to another bachelor. I should have assumed differently.

Pretty much all of the girls came over to me and started asking me questions about the show and asking to take a photo with me. I didn’t really want to be in any photos, because I knew that once they posted them, someone would have something to say about me being in New York the day after the show ended and not with Ulani. But I did want to be nice to them so that when they found out I was with Y/N they wouldn’t be rude to her or to me when I visited.

So I took the pictures and answered there questions and hoped that this wouldn’t all explode in my face. But the question that they all seemed to be asking was why I was in New York, let alone a closed rehearsal for a touring show.

I wasn’t exactly sure what Y/N wanted me to say, so instead of saying something that could possibly get us both in trouble I told them that I was here for work and that a friend of mine was working the tour. I would explain what happened to Y/N later.

But when that was over and they all left me alone I decided to hide myself from anyone else and play around on my phone until Y/N was done.

Which was much later.

I had fallen asleep by that point, laying in the most awkward position on the bench. Despite having slept earlier, even if it had been really short, I didn’t think that I would pass out waiting for Y/N.

I woke up to the feeling of her lips on mine, even if it was just a peck, and when I opened my eyes, I saw her beautiful face and a smile that stole my heart.

“Hi, Mr. Sleepyhead.” She was sitting on the ground next to me, her fingers running through my hair.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I smiled back at her and moved to sit up.

“I know. Are you ready go?”

“I am if you are.”

I stood up and helped her off the ground and then we made our way back to the hotel to change for dinner.

“So, I hope you don’t mind but Nakia texted me earlier and asked if we wanted to go to dinner with her and her boyfriend, you know like a double date. She set up a reservation for us at this place, but if you’re not up for it I would understand.”

“No, I’m good for a double date. But I am more curious to know how you know Nakia.”

“I don’t know her, not really, I know her boyfriend. We kind of went to school together.”

“Kind of?”

“Yeah. I went to MIT, he went to Harvard. We met at a bar our Freshman year and then moved in together after that. We lived together until we both graduated and have been friends ever since.”

“Well then I’m excited to meet him.”

“I’m sure you’ll like him.”

We made it back to the hotel and into our room, Y/N going straight into the closet to grab her dress for the night and the iron and board.

“Why don’t you let me do that?” I asked, taking the board from her hands and setting it up.

“You want to press my dress for me.”

“You’ve had a long day and you should relax.”

“You fell asleep on a bench earlier, if anyone should relax it should be you.”

“That? That was a power nap. I feel fine…” I took the iron from her hands and moved her back towards the bed. “Let me help, you relax.”

“Ok. But I’m going to go fix my hair first, I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything with it this morning.”

“You look beautiful just the way you are.” I stepped in front of her, blocking her path to the bathroom.

“Thank you.” She reached up and kissed me...I would never get over that.

In a moment of sheer distraction she passed by me and went into the bathroom, leaving me with the pressing. So I got to work.

The dress was a beautiful shade of blue, I could only imagine that it would look amazing on Y/N, but I might of bit off more than expected. The dress was long and there was a lot to the skirt, not to mention near impossible to get the top let alone the sleeves. But I wasn’t going to let Y/N down and I told her that I would get it done, even if it did take me longer than it would have if she had done it.

She must have been watching me for sometime because I could hear her trying to hold back her laughter when I couldn’t figure out the best way to get the front of the dress pressed with its wrap style.

“Bucky, please let me help.”

“No, I got it.” Then I felt her hands on top of mine, slowly prying the iron from my hands.

“We need to leave soon and you still need to get dressed. Thank you for pressing my dress.”

“But I didn’t finish.”

“Just a little advice...I usually do the top first so that the skirt doesn’t get wrinkled. Also it’s a lot easier to go back through when it’s hung up and just let them steam from the iron get the wrinkles out of the top.”

“Good to know.”

So as she finished her dress, I went into the restroom and put my suit on, having already pressed it earlier and took a couple of minutes to fix my hair back into place.

I walked out into the main room and quickly stopped in my place. I probably should have said something or gone back into the bathroom but I was completely frozen in place.

Seeing Y/N in her bra and underwear shouldn’t be weird right? I mean I had seen her in less...a lot less and she had definitely seen me the same way. And yet she amazed me. She was just so simply getting dressed, an everyday action, but seeing her in this way, in a way that no one else got to, made me feel a greater love for her. I got to see her scars and imperfections, I saw her past painted on her skin and I saw the insecurities she tried to hide with clothing. Everyone got to see her strength and her confidence, but I was lucky enough to see everything that they didn’t. And knowing that, having finally admitted my love for her, I couldn’t help but stare and become even more entranced by her beauty and just wonder how I had somehow won her heart.

“See something you like?” She turned around to face me, obviously knowing that I was behind her, still with a glowing smile on her face.

“You.” I said smiling back at her.

“Well that is definitely something we should bring up later, but now we have to go.” She winked at me and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. God I was doomed, this woman would be the death of me.

We both put on our shoes and headed down to our ride to the restaurant. I opened the door for her and slid in right next to her, and as soon as we were settled and on our way, Y/N grabbed my hand and held it in hers.

We didn’t really talk on the drive. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to talk to each other, it was that there wasn’t anything to say. We had talked about the biggest elephant in the room and despite how complicated I had made things, we had come to an understanding about everything. We weren’t 100% good and we would still have our issues but for now, we were fine, we had each other. Everything else would come with time.

We pulled up in front of the restaurant and I helped her out of the car, before escorting her into the restaurant. I gave the hostess my name and she showed us to our table which was already occupied by Nakia and T’Challa. I walked over to him first and gave him a big hug, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had seen him.

“Hey Buck.”

“Hey T.” I said. “Or is it your highness now?”

“One article called me that and now I can’t seem to escape it.”

“I have to admit that it suits you.”

“Yeah...whatever. How have you been?”

“I’m doing great.” The four of us sat down at the table and our hostess placed menus in front of us before leaving us alone.

“You know, Nakia and I watched your show.”

“Did you? Well, don’t believe everything you see. I ended up a lot luckier than I did on the show.” I reached out for Y/N’s hand and she placed hers in mine, we both smiled at each other. “But...forgetting about the show, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is my friend T’Challa, you probably know him as the King of Broadway.”

“If you want to stay friends, you’ll stop calling me that.”

“I don’t want to be a fangirl but I saw you as Coalhouse in Ragtime and your performance was outstanding, absolutely incredible.” Y/N said to him.

“Thank you, that was actually my first lead role on broadway, and it was the show where I met Nakia.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was the Wardrobe Supervisor and I was the actor—”

“And the rest is history.” Nakia finished. She reached over and grabbed his hand, just like I had with Y/N.

Our waiter came over to our table and took our drink orders and then headed over to the bar. And then Nakia asked the question that I’m sure was on both of their minds.

“Ever since you called me, I’ve been very curious about the two of you. So I have to know...what’s your story?” She said referring to the two of us.

“That is a...very complicated question.” I said with a smile on my face.

I looked over at Y/N and the feeling that I felt looking at her, out to dinner with our friends, and free from everyone holding us back, was the best feeling in the world. I never wanted this feeling to leave, this feeling of complete and utter love for someone else, the feeling that I would do absolutely anything to see that smile on her face or hear her laugh fill a room. I had known before that she would be my world but now there was no doubt that she was my everything, and that was an incredible feeling.

“Our story? Well...it all started with an interview.” She began.

****

EPILOGUE

Tell Me What You Think Here

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire , @alicerozenju, @snuggleducky, @mell-bell, @lifeasabookbutterfly, @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi, @iamwarrenspeace, @ssweet-empowerment, @chook007 , @juliagolia87, @jjsoccer11, @smol-flower-kiddo, @mrsdaamneron, @isaxhorror, @barnesism, @thatgirlrowan, @linki-locks11, @janeyboo, @vgurl18, @guera31, @bornfortherainydays, @carryonmy-assbutt, @calwitch

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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago

Text

A Little Too Real (11.5)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5, Part 11

Pairing : Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 7045

A/N: WOW! It’s been so long guys and I’m sorry! I am about one week away from moving back to Texas where I hope things will calm down some and by that I mean hopefully I won’t be working 80 hour weeks anymore like this Colorado job. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Kissing, implied sexy times, cliffhanger (sorry), thats it I think

BUCKY’S POV

With Thursday brought a new day, we both got up early and went out to breakfast before heading into work. Like most end-of-the-week shoots, it had been a short day, for me at least. Y/N had to stay later than I did to help with translating, while the crew started to pack up their equipment. In the end we both split up and tag teamed the people who need translating and got done sooner than I think would have been possible. But at the end of the night when we finally got home, we just grabbed something out of the fridge to eat and passed out.

Little did she know of the plans that I had for her.

I slept for as long I could but with the excitement running through my veins, it made sleeping hard. So I peeled myself from underneath her, making sure not to wake her up and went downstairs to make her breakfast. I had to run to the store first and knowing how much Y/N loved to sleep in, I made it to and from the store without waking her up. I made any and all breakfast foods I could think of, just really wanting to treat her and hoping to put her in a good mood for our day together.

As soon as I got all the food cooked I put everything on a tray and brought it upstairs to where she was sleeping. I saw that she was still passed out and placed the tray down before going to sit beside her. I brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face and leaned down real close to whisper in her ear.

“Y/N.” I said and kissed her cheek. She stirred just a bit but she sure was stubborn in the morning. “You better wake up or I’m going to eat all this food by myself.” This time she stirred a little bit more, opening her eyes just enough to verify that I actually had food. “I’m assuming you want some of this.”

“Well I don’t know about that, but I will take the food.”

I’m sure a look of complete shock crossed my face and she just had the most heart warming laugh, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh along with her.

“Okay, why don’t you stop sassing me and eat some of this food I made you.”

“You know, no one has ever made me breakfast in bed.”

“I’m the first?”

“You are.”

“You deserve breakfast in bed everyday.”

“You should get on that.” We both laughed and I grabbed the tray of food, moving it to where she could reach. I sat beside her for a while as she ate and we talked a bit, but I left her alone to eat so that I could take a shower and get a head start on the perfect date.

Y/N’S POV

I ate way too much food. It probably wasn’t the best decision, but it was all just so good. If I could I would never cook again and just have him make everything. But then again if I let him do that I would be as big as the side of a barn. Bucky walked out of the bathroom, dressed, with a towel in his hands and using it to dry his hair.

“I’ve changed my mind about you making me breakfast in bed every morning.”

“You have? That was short lived.”

“If you made me this much food everyday, I would get so fat that you would never want to see me again.” He came to sit beside me on the bed.

“I always want to see you no matter what you look like. Now go get in the shower, I have a date to take you on.”

“I’m not sure if I can move.” I moved my hands to my stomach and puffed it up as much as I could. “I’ve got a food baby.”

“Oh my god...is it mine?”

“It is.”

“I’m not ready to be a father.” He said, in a dramatic voice and we both burst into laughter. When we both calmed down, I went back to my room and got in the shower, getting ready for our date. I walked out of my bathroom in nothing but a towel and walked over to my closet, trying to come up with an outfit for a date that Bucky had told me nothing about. I couldn’t assume that I needed to dress up, despite the fact that apparently Peggy was planning on getting me into that red dress before I went back to America, but it was still very early in the day so I also couldn't assume that we weren’t going to do something beforehand. But amongst my overthinking came a knock at the door.

“Come in.” I said, not even thinking about the fact that I was still in my towel.

“Not that I’m opposed to this look at all, but is this what you’re planning on wearing to our date?”

I turned to face him. “No. You haven’t given me any details about this date.”

“Well that’s a shame, I like this look.”

“I’m sure you do. But do I need to dress up for this?”

“Not for the first half.”

“The first half?”

“Just trust me.”

“So just something casual?”

“Just something casual. We’ll come back before the next phase.”

“Okay.”

But he kept sitting there.

“Are you going to—” I gestured to the door.

“Right, yeah. I’ll be down the hall.” He left the room and then I started to get ready: doing my makeup, actually drying my hair and doing something with it, and picking out the perfect “casual” outfit.

When I was done and ready to go I walked down the hall to Bucky’s room. He was sitting on the bed and his face lit up when I walked in the room; he stood up to meet me, now dressed in something a little nicer than before.

“You look beautiful.” He said, holding my hands in his.

“Thank you.” He turned around to pick up his jacket off the bed, putting on.

“Are you ready to go?” In his hands he had a sleep mask in his hand.

“What is that for?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“The blindfold or the place?”

“The place.”

“This isn’t where you kill me right?”

“Never.” I stared at him a second, debating on whether or not I was really going to let him blindfold me.

“Fine.”

He smiled and handed me the blindfold, giving me a second to put it over my eyes. I told him that my keys were in my bag and then he led me out to the car; meaning he carried me down the stairs, he didn’t think that one through, and then led me out to the car. He was holding my hands, leading me, and when he stopped I thought we had made it to the car, yet the longer I stood there, the more nervous I got.

“Bucky—” He had let go of my hands and was now holding my face, stopping my outspoken hesitation.

“What are you so nervous about?”

“I’m not nervous.”

“Give me a little credit, I know you pretty well.”

“I’m not one for surprises and being blindfolded on the way to one may not be the most peaceful and stress free experience.”

And yet in a moment of complete surprise, apparently he was full of those today, he kissed me.

“Just trust me.”

“I do.”

He helped me into the car and after he sat in the driver’s seat and buckled up, he started to drive.

Bucky wasn’t giving anything away, of course I never would have guessed where we were going because I hadn’t been home in so long, but even when I questioned him or tried to make”small talk” he always caught on to what I was trying to do.

We were driving for about 30 maybe 45 minutes. When I wasn’t trying to get him to spoil the surprise we did actually make small talk and it was really nice to spend some time with him away from all the craziness.

And then I think we finally got to where we were going.

I heard him roll down the window but nothing was said and we were driving again when the window went back up. We didn’t drive for long before he was parking and then he came to help me out of the car before leading me off somewhere.

We walked for sometime before he opened the door and helped me through and that was when the atmosphere changed. There were a lot more people talking, more than in the parking lot, all in Russian and all talking about things I had no idea about.

We didn’t get far into the building before we stopped, he let go of me, and then put his hands on both sides of the mask.

“You ready for your surprise?”

“I’ve been waiting in suspense.”

He took off my mask and of course I saw him first, standing right in front of me. He stepped aside with a big smile on his face showing me the sign for a place I had only ever dreamed of going.

“Is this real? Am I awake?”

“Well that would depend on whether or not I’m in your dreams.” I turned to look at another voice, when I saw an unfamiliar face walk closer to us.

“Well if it isn’t Sam Wilson.” Bucky said and the two embraced. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you with two arms again.”

“Sam this is Y/N. Y/N, Sam. Sam worked here at the same time that I did, he was also the one who found me after my arm got stuck.”

“Sat by and made fun of him the whole time.”

“The sarcasm helped me keep my mind off my arm as they tried to get me out.”

“Anyway, we could talk about Barnes or we could talk about you. Honestly what he told me about you doesn’t do you any justice.” Sam winked at me, I laughed, he was charming.

“Okay Wilson take a few steps back.” This time I laughed at Bucky. “I believe you offered—”

“Right. Let's get the tour started. Y/N, Welcome to Roscosmos Headquarters.”

BUCKY’S POV

I let Sam take control of the tour and Y/N was more than enthusiastic about everything he told her about the place. Sometimes they would speak in Russian and she would break out in a huge smile and laugh with her whole body. She was mesmerizing.

I stayed a few steps behind as they talked, just letting her enjoy her time, knowing that it had always been a dream of hers to come here and possibly giving her a chance to reconnect to a part of her life that she shared with her parents. She had stopped walking, causing me to almost bump into her.

“I didn't know you were going to be the chauffeur on mine and Sam’s date.” She said, looking behind her to me.

“What?” I said.

“You’ve been two steps behind me this whole date.”

“I just want you to enjoy your time, I know how much you’ve admired this place.”

“The reason I said yes to this date is so that I could enjoy my time with you.” She grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together and for the rest of our tour I stood right by her side.

Honestly, I probably should have joined a little sooner because I could only imagine the stories that Sam had told Y/N about me, if it were any indication from the ones he tried to tell after I joined the group.

But despite what Sam tried to do to mess with us, I just admired Y/N and I couldn’t help but feel amazed at how lucky I was to have her in my life. I loved seeing her smile, I loved the way that she would look up at me after Sam said something completely stupid about our time together at Roscosmos, I loved the way she would touch me and smile, as if I was the only person in the room. And the fact that she was happy...just so simply happy, made me more lovestruck than ever.

As we got later into the tour, we would stop every now and then to speak to someone who I had met what seemed like a lifetime ago. Y/N was excited to meet anyone from my past, enthusiastic for embarrassing stories and the like, and Sam was just giving her everything she could ever dream of knowing about me.

But honestly I didn’t care. Before I lost my arm, I had been a completely different person, one who was carefree and, honestly, purposeless. Yes I had wanted to work at Roscosmos, become an astronaut, do something that mattered, but it had almost seemed selfish, because I had only ever did it for myself.

Even though going to space had been my dream, my whole life changed the day that my arm got stuck in that engine. I found a purpose through Luna and my arm, working with Tony, doing something that mattered to people who had lost limbs in instances such as mine or less. And then there was a reason that I did everything that I did. Before I used to believe that I was doing it for the people who had helped me after the accident, my mom, Steve, Peggy, Peggy’s family. But now everything I did was for Y/N.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked me, pulling my attention out of my thoughts.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“A lot of things about you.”

“How specific.” I laughed at her sarcasm.

“I find myself thinking about you a lot lately.”

“Okay lovebirds, let's keep moving.” Sam said to us, having seen that we had stopped.

Our tour hadn’t gone on too much longer after that. We had already been there for a few hours and not that I had any more plans until later tonight, but I didn’t want to wear her out too soon.

So we made our way back around to the lobby, ready to say our goodbyes when Sam stopped us.

“I don’t suppose you would have time to stop and get lunch with me.” Sam asked. “I would love to actually catch up.”

“What and not make fun of me?” I said.

“There’s only so much I can make fun of you for. Also I may not get to see you again for another decade so I’ve got to spread out the things that I get out of you.”

“A decade?”

“Almost.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Anyway, lunch?”

“If I eat any more right now I’m going to explode.” Y/N said.

“I could go for some coffee.” I said.

“Coffee does sound good.”

“So lunch for me, coffee for you.” Sam said, gesturing out the front doors.

We all climbed into our car and Sam pointed us in the direction of the place he wanted to eat, some little cafe. When we parked Sam was the first to go in, I had been following behind him when Y/N stopped me.

“Bucky?”

“Yes?”

She reached up and kissed me, holding my face in her hands, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

“What was that for?” I asked when she pulled away.

“It was a thank you.”

“You didn’t think that we could both be in Moscow at the same time and not go to Roscosmos, did you?”

“You taking me there means a lot to me.”

“I’m guessing that means you enjoyed it.”

“I did.”

“Good.”

“You lovebirds, coming?” We heard Sam ask. She stepped away from me with a smile on her face, making her way towards the cafe. When we got inside, we spotted Sam sitting down at a table and she stopped me before I could walk too far away from her.

“I’m going to go to the restroom. You know what I like.”

“Yeah I do.” She laughed as she walked away from me and I watched her until I made it to our table and sat in front of Sam. He had this...annoyingly suspicious smile on his face. “What?”

“It’s just...the last time I saw you you were...in a really bad place. It’s nice to see you moving past the bad stuff and happily married no less.”

“Happily married?”

“The way you two are with each other, there’s no way you aren’t stuck in the honeymoon phase.”

“Haha very funny. I’ll have you know, today was actually our first date.”

“There’s no way.”

The waitress walked over to our table and asked us for our order. I got the two of us black coffee and Sam ordered quite a big meal for himself.

As soon as she left Sam gave me a questioning look, beckoning me to continue where we had left off.

“I mean, we’ve known each other for a long time and I don’t know about her but I’ve liked her since the first moment I met her. But I was on the show and she was working for the network and I don’t know, I guess we both just thought it would be easier to deny what was happening between us.”

“Which was?”

“A lot, more than either of us wanted to admit. There was always so much going on, with the show, with Nat showing up, Y/N’s accident, her ex-husband...it was easier for us to just be there for each other than to try to navigate around the complexities of everything we were going through.”

“Easier?”

“I had pushed down everything I had been feeling about her, I was worried about hurting her and I was worried about my contract with the network. But things changed so drastically between us and so quickly too. It just became too hard to ignore the things I had pushed down, especially after her car accident. She couldn’t make it up the stairs to her apartment, so she stayed with me while she was recovering...and I just never wanted her to leave.”

“You’re in love with her.”

“More than I’ve ever felt with anyone.”

“I can see that. I still can’t believe that this is only your first date.”

“Hopefully the first of many.”

“Are you two done talking about me?” We heard coming from behind me. We both turned to face Y/N who had a smile on her face.

“How much did you hear?” I asked. She sat down in the chair next to mine.

“I just walked up.”

“Good.”

“Are you telling Sam all of our secrets?”

“Just yours.” She slapped me on the arm and laughed.

“So, I have yet to hear the story.” Sam said.

“What story?” Y/N asked.

“The story of how you two met.”

“We met at his interview for the show.”

“She was part of the panel during the interview and when I told them that I spoke Russian and Romanian, she thought—”

“That he was just saying things to get on the show, so I—”

“She started speaking to me in Russian to prove I wasn’t lying.”

“Do you usually finish each other's sentences?” Sam asked.

“No.” We both said at the same time. She turned and looked at me before she broke out in a laugh.

“I would say differently.”

Our waitress brought over Sam’s food and our coffee, along with some sugar. And as he ate, we drank, we talked about us, about everything we had been doing in LA, and Sam told us about his work and this girl he’s been seeing. And at the end of the lunch we paid our bills, dropped Sam back off at work, and said goodbye, before we headed back to the house.

Y/N and I didn’t talk much along the way, not needing to say anything to enjoy each other’s company. It was one of the best things about being with Y/N, the lack of always having to be on guard. You know, it was just easy to be with her, I didn’t have to change myself or hold any part of me back; I knew that I could tell her anything about me or be as weird or nerdy as I knew I was, and she would accept me for me. I had never had that before.

So, taking her to Roscosmos had been a great way to start the day, I don’t think I had ever seen her smile so much and she seemed to enjoy this part of my life, no matter how far in the past it had been. So yeah it was nice, really nice.

I pulled up in front of the house and came around to open Y/N’s door for her before helping her inside. I helped her with her jacket and she went to sit on the couch as I put our coats away. She laid her head back on the arm of the couch, stretching out, and I watched her for just a second before moving to join her, picking up her legs and placing them over my lap.

“I’m never going to forget today.” She said.

“It’s not over yet.”

“This morning was so perfect, I almost forgot.”

“Don’t give up on me, I haven’t completely spoiled you yet.”

“That wasn’t spoiling?”

“I am full of surprises.”

“Yes you are.” She sat back up, wrapped her arms around my neck and looked deeply in my eyes. “So what’s next then?”

“It’s still a surprise.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and let my other hand rest on her leg, drawing small circles with my thumb.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Well you said we would come back here before the next phase of our date, so is this where I’m supposed to get all dressed up?”

“We have some time before we need to leave, but yes.”

“How much time?” She asked, her voice very devious.

“Time.”

“You are no help at all.”

“I told you it's a surprise.”

“You know I don’t like surprises.” She said, her hand coming up to my cheek, her thumb briefly running over my lips.

“For someone who doesn’t like surprises, you sure are full of them.” I said back to her, trying hard to keep my eyes off her lips and failing.

“I don’t know, when I’m with you I just feel like a whole different person, like I’m someone who I’ve always wanted to be.” We both inched closer to each other.

“You wanted to be surprising?”

“I want to be the best version of myself and I am when I’m with you.”

“I am too.”

“How much time do we have?” She whispered.

“Time.”

I stared at her, trying to gauge the situation but she waited and I didn’t want to anymore. So I kissed her, I kissed her like I never had before.

There was no where else in the world I would have rather been.

Y/N’S POV

The sensation...the sensation of a kiss, his kiss, I never got tired of it. And the way he kissed me…God, I melted.

But it was after that first kiss that we lost all sense of restraint.

I could feel his fingers running through my hair, the way he pulled me closer making me feel as if he never wanted to let me go, kissing me as if he never wanted to stop. And when we laid back against the couch, him on top of me, breaking away for just a moment, we looked so deeply into each others eyes that the whole world seemed to disappear.

When my fingers wandered underneath his shirt, I could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin and in that moment I wanted to feel all of him, I wanted to be closer to him, more than anyone else. He must have been thinking the same thing because before I knew it we were both shirtless and letting our desire take over, letting our bodies meld together in a way they never had before.

And yet no matter how many times he kissed me, I couldn’t get over how soft and warm his lips were or how sinfully they moved against mine. The fact that he kissed me at all still surprised me, it was as if somewhere amongst the chaos and bad things that had happened to me, I had done something to deserve someone as wonderful as Bucky. And to have someone as wonderful as him...I was the luckiest person in the world.

I had waited so long for a moment like this, one where I felt like I mattered to someone, that to finally feel that with Bucky made everything that had happened to me, all of the bad things, completely disappear.

We had both been so lost in each other that we didn’t hear the door open.

“Y/N! I have good news!” I heard Asa call out.

Bucky and I stopped and tried not to make any noise, hoping he would go away...I should have known better.

“I know you two are there.”

Bucky, still on top of me, reached down and grabbed both of our shirts, putting his on first and sitting up, giving me a chance to put mine on.

“Hi Asa.” I said, when I was dressed again. He just glared at me. “What?”

“I was just coming to say that we figured out all the bank stuff. You are one very rich woman.”

“That’s great news.” I said.

“Then why doesn’t it sound like great news?”

“It is. It’s just the idea of having that much money is overwhelming. I’ve always lived off of what I made and that was it.”

“It’s a little overwhelming at first but it does get easier to handle and I can help you find honest people to help out with managing everything that you’re not sure about.” Bucky said.

“Yeah?”

“Believe me, I remember what it was like, I couldn’t do it by myself either.”

“Well it looked like you two were in the middle of something before I walked in, so I’ll just come back tomorrow with the paperwork and details.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay then. See you tomorrow.”

Asa walked out the front door and Bucky and I turned to face each other.

“Well that was awkward.” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Well I guess then, that this would be a good time to get ready for the next phase of our date.”

“As good a time as any.”

“Or we could…” I moved closer to him, placing a hand on his cheek and staring at how close his lips were to mine again. “We could go upstairs…”

“Believe me, I want nothing more than to hide away with you until my flight.”

“Hide away?”

“You know, hide away, lock the doors, not come out or let anyone in…”

“But?”

“But I had planned to give you the best date of your life and I still intend to do that. And I guess if you still want to hide away with me when we get back, then I can probably assume that the date went well.”

I just smiled at him, always a gentleman. “I guess I should go get ready then.”

“I guess I should too.” But we just stared at each other, I smiled when neither of us moved.

“We have to move in order to get ready.”

“Are you going up to my room?”

“No, I put my stuff in my parents room. I don’t want you to see me until I’m completely done.”

“You have something special to wear?”

“Well you said that this date was going to be nice, so I have something nice to wear, something I think you’re really going to like.”

“Then I guess you should go get ready.”

I stood from the couch and went upstairs to my parents room, seeing the dress hanging in the closet door frame. I sat down at my mother’s vanity, taking my time with doing my makeup, not doing too much but enough to match my nicer look and the same with my hair.

After I was done getting ready I walked over to the closet to get dressed, but stopped, seeing that all of my mother’s clothes were still in the closet. I mean the whole room was identical to what it had been like when I was a kid; I wasn’t sure about how I felt about that. But instead of getting dressed right away I looked through the clothes, her clothes. I saw the fashion and the beauty behind what she did, I saw flashes of memories that I shared with her, I saw the love that she had for my dad, I saw her. Something I hadn’t done in a very long time.

So I put on the dress and grabbed the black coat I had spotted in my mom’s closet, I used it to cover up the dress, aiming to give Bucky a surprise for when we got to our date. And then I headed downstairs to meet him.

I quietly walked down the stairs and peaked around the wall to see him pacing in the living room. I had no idea why he seemed so nervous but he sure was adorable. I snuck over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, stopping his movement.

“Why are you nervous?” I asked.

“I’m not nervous, just waiting for you.” I let go of him and he turned to face me.

“You definitely know my weakness.” I said as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Me right?” I laughed and smiled at him.

“I like a guy in a navy suit.”

“Well I would say something similar but this...beautiful coat is covering up what you’re wearing.”

“Well if you can surprise me, I can surprise you. And thank you about the coat, it’s my mother’s.”

“You’re mother obviously dressed very fashionably.”

“Yeah she was the most beautiful person I ever met.”

“I would say differently.”

“Well don’t you know how to make a girl blush.”

“I mean it.”

“Well thank you.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“I am.”

So we walked out to the car and he held the door open for me like a perfect gentleman. He drove us back into the city, doing or saying anything to make me smile along the way, and not giving anything away about where we were going.

Despite my not liking surprises, I just couldn’t get over how handsome he was, or how captivating his laugh was, his smile, but most of all I couldn’t get over how much I loved him. I mean who was I kidding, I would have followed anywhere he wanted to take me.

The drive had led us into the heart of the city, to a building that didn’t look too special from the outside and yet he looked just as excited to go in. I let him lead the way and upon walking inside, the whole place transformed. There was live music and people dancing, tables for food and a bar serving drinks. But most of all there were people who were...alive and having the time of their lives.

“What is this place?” I asked.

“This building is a historic landmark to the city. When I lived here the owner was renovating the place back to its original glory...the best jazz club in the country.”

“This is amazing.”

“Just wait until I get you on that dance floor.”

“What?”

“I have wanted to slow dance with you since the engagement party, I think about that dance a lot.”

“You know, you have convinced me to dance more times than anyone.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“I was never big on dancing.”

“But you’ll dance with me right? It is one of the reasons I brought you here.”

“Hmmm.”

“How about we start with dinner and then see if I can convince you to dance with me again?”

“You’re going to have to buy me dinner and a drink.”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want if it means I get my dance with you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“I have a table for us.” He said, holding his arm out for me to hold on to as he escorted me to our table.

“You reserved a table?”

“I came in a lot when I lived here. I called earlier and asked if they could save me my favorite table.” We got to his table and he pulled out my chair for me, but before I sat down I went ahead and took off my coat, and turned around to put it on my chair, giving Bucky his first look at my dress.

“I—you—” He took in a deep breath. “Wow.”

“I take it you like it?”

He tried to find words but just stared at me with his jaw on the ground. “Surprised...I’m surprised.”

“Good.” I grabbed the lapel of his jacket and pulled him to me, giving him a kiss. “Now you can buy me dinner.” I sat down in my chair and he pushed me in closer to the table before going to his chair and sitting down in front of me. “So why this place?” I asked, getting the conversation started and drawing attention away from me for a moment.

“Well I have a few reasons. It’s the place that reminded me the most of home.”

“Your parents loved Jazz.”

“My dad did and he roped my mom in.”

“Is this my initiation?”

“Yes.”

A waitress brought over menus for us and we both ordered drinks before she left us to decide what we wanted to eat.

“So then what’s another reason?”

“I wanted to take you somewhere you hadn’t been before, give you something to remember. And of course I want to slow dance with you.”

“I could never forget today.”

“And the night is still young.”

So we sat at our table and talked to each other, you know, first date topics and surprisingly enough there were still things we hadn't learned about each other, which was a welcome surprise. Somewhere amongst our talk, our waitress came back over, placed our drinks on the table and took our order.

And then a slow song came on, and a familiar tune at that, making Bucky smile and look at me deviously. He stood and came around the table to me.

“Dance with me?” He said, holding out his hand for me to take.

I thought about it for just a second, knowing that I would never say no to him, but wanting to see him squirm a bit.

“Sure.” I finally said, placing my hand in his and standing from my chair. He led us out to the dancefloor, wrapped his arm around my waist and held my right hand in his. I placed my left hand on his neck, moving closer to him and swaying along to the song.

“My dad was the one who taught me to dance.” I said, interrupting the silence. “Before I moved to New York.”

“That’s why you don’t like to dance.”

“It’s not that I don’t like to dance it’s just...he was the first person I danced with and it was hard for me to dance with anyone else. The next person I danced with was Tony and that was at a fancy event and it took a lot of convincing.”

“You didn’t dance with anyone before then? What about prom or school dances?”

“I was a teenage girl with a heavy accent and a very awkward personality, I didn’t do any of that.”

“Really?”

“My grandparents didn’t really let me do too much.”

“Right, sometimes I forget that you lived with them, you’re nothing like them.”

“A good thing at that.”

“Absolutely.”

“Can I point something out to you?”

“Sure.”

“You have danced with me multiple times.”

“My dad had rules when it came to dancing. The first one, always dance with someone worth dancing with.”

“I’m worth dancing with?”

“You are worth a lot more than just one dance, but since it makes you so happy to slow dance with me, why not?”

“Is that why you said yes?”

“Yes. I like seeing you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

“You make me happy too.”

The same singer sang one more song before we headed back to our table, our food waiting for us. So we ate our food, we laughed at each other and just had a really great time.

He got me out on the dancefloor again but instead of slow dancing with me he swung me around the floor like he had a clue to what he was doing and I just followed whatever he did, allowing myself to be spontaneous for once.

Once the song had finished, Bucky went up to the stage, speaking briefly with the guy who was singing, and then made his way back over to me. I was about to ask him what he had up his sleeve but then I heard the opening notes of the song.

I looked at Bucky with wide eyes and he just wrapped me in his arms again, swaying along to the new song.

“How did you know?” I asked, completely shocked.

“How did I know what?”

“This song.”

“This is my favorite song.”

“It’s my favorite song too.”

“Really?”

“My parents loved to dance and this was the last song they danced to before she died.”

“This was the first song I listened to on vinyl, my dad showed it to me. I could never get over how incredible it was.”

“What a coincidence...that we would have the same favorite song.”

“I don’t believe in coincidences.”

“What do you believe in?”

“You...and me.”

I smiled and reached up to give him a quick kiss, but he held me to him longer, completely forgetting about the song, the people and I guess, for a second, the world.

“I’m never going to get tired of doing that.” He said after he pulled away from me.

“Bucky...let’s go home.”

“Okay.”

We went back to the table and as I put on my jacket, he paid our bill. And just like the gentleman he was, he then walked me out to the car, opened my door for me, and drove me home.

This time we didn’t talk, we listened to the music on the radio and he held my hand, and it created a very tense situation; like pre-Asa-walking-in-on-us tense. So instead of us talking to each other we decided to sit and stew in the tension. Great idea.

Bucky parked in front and came around to open my door for me before helping me into the house. We took off our coats and hung them on the rack by the door and then headed upstairs to his room. I sat down on the edge of his bed and took of my shoe and when I looked back up at him, he was just staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“I just think you’re beautiful.” He started walking over to me...slowly.

“What else do you think?”

“Well...you’re smart.” He took another step.

“And?”

“And you’re fishing for compliments.” I laughed at him and he smiled. “I love your laugh and your smile.” Another step.

“You sure are walking slow.”

“I feel that if I ran, I would scare you away.” He was standing in front of me now.

“I’m not going anywhere.” His hands came up to cradle my face.

“That's really good to know.” He slowly leaned down towards me, taking his time.

Everything started off slow, his lips against mine, our move onto the bed, our hands on each other. And then things escalated. My hands came up to undo the buttons on his shirt and I kicked off my shoes, he undid the zipper and tie at my back, and everything but the two of us had completely disappeared.

It was in that moment that I knew that I would be in love with him for a very long time. Not because he was taking off my clothes or kissing me senseless, but because he made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. And boy did he show me.

God was he something.

Afterwards, he was laying on his back, fingers running up and down my arm, eyes closed with a smile on his face. I had my head resting on his shoulder, my gaze locked on his face, and my fingers moving along his bare chest. And it was the most perfect moment I had ever experienced.

“I never want this moment to end.” I whispered.

“Me neither.” He whispered back. Then we both fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up, feeling better than I had in a long time. I had had some of the best sleep and it made it all the more special that it had been because of something so wonderful. The only problem was that Bucky wasn’t next to me anymore.

I got out of the bed, looking for something to cover myself, maybe a shirt of his, but all I could find was my dress resting over the edge of the bed. I walked over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel instead and went to my bedroom to grab some pajamas. Then I made my way around the house.

“Bucky?” I called out, looking for him everywhere and finally coming to the conclusion that he left, especially after seeing that his room was completely vacant. I mean, I knew that he had had a flight to catch but I thought that at the very least he would say goodbye. And then I found a note, my spirits picking up a bit.

And being shot back down a second later.

PART TWELVE

Tell Me What You Think Here

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

Text

A Little Too Real (8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 8830 (Jinkies guys!)

A/N: This is such a long time coming and I know I was trying to post it on Monday but where I was going to originally end it wasn’t good enough for me, so that’s why this is almost 9,000 words. So sorry about that but I hope you guys enjoy! Y/H/C- You Hair Color (P.S. Happy Birthday to my sister @star-arm-and-shield who is 18 today!)

Warnings: angst, fluff, stalking situation (Kind of), attempted kidnapping, violence, (I promise it’s not as bad as the warnings)

Week 5

Y/N’S POV

We left the wardrobe trailer and Bucky headed to the makeup and hair trailer. I stuck with Wanda and Asa, but she had to leave to go and check on the girl's wardrobe before the cameras started rolling. I showed him to the area where we could sit and watch the show as it filmed.

“So you watch the show?” I asked him with a smile on my face.

“Do I have to answer?”

“If you want to get caught up before we start filming.”

“Yes, I watch the show...with my girlfriend.”

“Why haven’t I heard about her?”

“Because I haven’t seen you in years and when we talk or text its short and about work. Also you’re like my weirdly more successful than me daughter and I don’t know, it seems strange to talk to you about girls.”

“I’m a good listener.”

“Even if you were my biological daughter, I don’t think I could talk about my love life with you.”

“Then I guess you wouldn’t be comfortable with mine.”

“You have one?”

“No.”

“You and lover boy seem pretty...smug.”

“James and I are close but friends.”

“Not with the way he looks at you.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that.” I mumbled, not thinking he heard me.

“What do you mean?”

“What? Nothing.”

“No. I’m not the first person to point this out to you, am I?” All I did was glare at him. “You like him and you won't just admit it.”

“You want to know what’s happening? They’re about to start.”

“This conversation isn’t over, but yes.”

“How many girls were left when you last watched?”

“Seven girls left.”

“So, the two girls that got kicked off last week were…” I paused, really letting him stew, “Emma...and Chloe.”

“What?” He said completely surprised.

“Yeah…”

“What happened? Chloe was one of the girls at the very top. She could have easily been in the top three, I thought he liked her.”

“There’s a good reason?”

“And that would be?”

I took a second and thought about whether or not to tell him. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about the two of us, because even I had been thinking about why he kicked her off lately, but I also knew that he probably already had the wrong idea about us.

“She was kind of kicked off because of me.” After I said that he had this look in his eye, like he knew why. “Not for what you’re thinking.”

“Then what?”

“Well I told you about that infection that I had, from my surgery. On the day before the last day of filming for the week I was really sick. I was pushing off the way that I felt because I knew that James couldn’t skip filming and I figured it would just go away. But it didn’t and Chloe came up to me and started making accusations about the fact that James was helping me so much. While we were talking I asked for her help grabbing my oxygen tank out of my backpack, because the pain was so bad that I just wanted to stop breathing, I thought that was a bad sign. She grabbed the backpack but kept it out of my reach, telling me to never see him again. So I stood up and tried to go after the bag, which I shouldn't've been doing. We fought over the bag and she let go making me fall to the ground. I was so in shock that I couldn’t even put the oxygen mask on. James came over and helped me and they called 911 and he told the director that he didn’t want to see Chloe when he got back.”

His eyes got real big and I knew that he had been thinking the same thing as he did earlier, before I had told him the story. He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.

“Don’t say it.”

“So you know what I’m going to say?”

“I have a pretty clear idea.”

He didn’t have a chance to say anything else because they started filming and became distracted in the show.

We sat to the side and watched one of the many director’s screens as filming went on. During breaks, Bucky would come over and check on me and the other girls would stare at me as I interacted with him. None of them were brave enough to confront us though, not after what happened with Chloe.

And I had to admit...I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream. I tried so hard not to, but it was a great distraction from everything going on and after I finally came to grips with how I felt about him, the harder it became to keep the idea of him out of my mind.

After filming was done for the day Bucky and I decided to go out for dinner and I gave Asa the keys to my apartment so that he didn’t have to pay for a hotel room.

But having a moment alone with Bucky, away from Tony and Asa and Wanda and everyone else who was worried, actually managed to make me feel better. The truth was, I had been paranoid all day. After Asa and Tony told me that it was more than likely that my grandmother and Jackson were on there way here, I couldn’t stop looking around, wondering if they were hiding somewhere or waiting to make a move. So dinner with Bucky was a much appreciated distraction.

When we ever ate out, when we ever had a moment to leave set, we loved to go out and find a new restaurant to try. And just recently with the broken leg and the wheelchair issue, we hadn’t really had a chance to go out and try something new, so I was pretty excited when he suggested that we go out, despite my broken condition.

And after we ate dinner we went back to the apartment and spent the night watching netflix; I think he caught on pretty early that I needed to be distracted. We stayed up as long as we could, laughing and talking and honestly it was good, it felt really good being with him.

And because of that, later that night after all the nightmares, I wasn’t surprised to find myself going back to my good dream. It was just so easy to get lost with him.

The following day was much like before. I was more tired though probably because of the frequently and crazy switches from dream to dream. So even though I didn’t have a lot to do that day it was hard to stay awake and watch what was happening on the show. Every now and then, Asa would nudge me awake and hand me a cup of coffee, sweetened to perfection and giving me just a little jolt of energy. But as the day came to a close we went back to the apartment ate dinner and continued whatever we had been watching the night before.

Right before we went to bed though I received a call from Peggy.

PC: Hey you!

YN: Hey, What are you up to?

PC: Nothing right now, we’re about to go to bed. But I was wondering if you wanted to do a girls lunch with Wanda and I tomorrow?

YN: I would love to.

PC: Great. I’ll let you know the place and I’m just assuming that you’ll ride with Wanda?

YN: Yeah. We’ll have to go back after lunch so it will be better that way

PC: It’ll be nice seeing you outside of a hospital room

YN: Yeah I know

PC: How are you feeling?

YN: That’s a tough one to answer

PC: That doesn’t sound good

YN: I’ll explain at lunch?

PC: Okay

YN: I’ll see you tomorrow

PC: Bye

YN: Bye

I hung up the phone and looked over at Bucky who was now also on the phone. I waited for him to hang up before I said anything.

“Peggy.”

“Steve.” We said at the same time.

“It seems a little suspicious that they called both of us.”

“Yeah, as long as I’ve known them, I’ve just learned to go with it, though.”

“I guess that’s all we can really do.”

We went to bed soon after our calls, all the while I was hoping to get more sleep than I had previously.

The following morning we did our usual routine, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, just like every other day before. We got to work on time, meeting Asa at the house, and started filming for the day. But god, did it take a lifetime to get to lunch.

Everything was just running so much slower today and I’m not sure why, but I was so relieved to make it to our extended lunch. They decided to give us a long lunch today because the girls were filming part of this episode in a different location, one a good distance from the house.

So despite the girls and the guys doing separate things for lunch we were all meeting at the same place and then the guys would leave us girls to ourselves.

Bucky parked his car down the street from the restaurant and came to help me out, like he always did. And as we moved closer to the restaurant we could see Peggy and Steve standing outside, holding hands and looking just as cute as always.

We all said a quick hello to each other before the guys left us to find our table and they went off...somewhere. We went inside and our hostess showed us to a table on their outdoor patio, per our request; the day was just too beautiful to sit indoors.

Peggy and Wanda each ordered a drink and I said everything I possibly could to myself to keep myself from ordering one too. If I wasn’t on medication I totally would have, but I just heard Bucky’s voice in my head telling me that I couldn’t, so I got a water instead.

“So what’s new in the day and life of Peggy and Steve, America’s favorite couple?” I mocked and she smiled.

“You saw me just a couple of days ago, there couldn’t have been that much that happened.”

“I would strongly disagree with that statement.”

“Well then why don’t we just start with you then? You clearly have something to talk about.” She looked a little devious when she said that.

“It’s not going to be what you want to hear.”

“One day it will.” Wanda said and her and Peggy both just laughed at me.

“You guys are crazy.”

The waitress brought over our drinks and we all took a second to take a sip before we would start back in on the conversation. Peggy had her drink in her left hand and I looked over at her briefly when I saw just a little flash of something that hadn’t been there before.

I choked a little on my drink but quickly coughed it out and stared at Peggy with wide eyes.

“Did Steve—did he—?” I tried to ask her.

She held up her hand so we could get a better view at the gorgeous ring on her left ring finger.

“Oh. You mean this?” She asked with a big smile on her face.

Even despite being in a wheelchair, Wanda and I both attacked Peggy with a hug, squealing like little girls.

As soon as we sat down the most important question was asked.

“How did he propose?”

“Well...it’s often very rare that Steve and I have a day off on the same day, so honestly when we did, I should have known that something was up. But it was honestly just a really great day. He made me breakfast in bed and we lounged around and caught up on our binge watching. Then he took me to a very romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant and we went swing dancing, which we hadn’t done in forever. And then it got a little more fishy. He helped me into the car but handed me a blindfold. I was a little skeptical because at this point I knew we had to be planning something but he asked me trust him and I did. So he drove for a while and then he came and helped me out of the car. He put his hands on my waist and led me out to wherever he wanted me, he took off the blindfold but told me to keep my eyes closed, and then he grabbed both of my hands and told me to open my eyes. We were on the beach and there were these lanterns and candles all around us, and I looked at Steve and he was down on one knee. He started talking about these things that I had thought he never noticed and he told me the things that he loved about me and then he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes.”

“That’s so romantic.” Wanda said.

“Yeah, it was.”

“I’m so glad he finally asked you. I’m so happy for you guys.” I said with a big smile on my face.

“Well you two can’t be too far behind now. You know I know a couple of guys—” We both objected to being set up, giving any excuse possible to not have to meet these strangers.

“If we’re not going to talk about boys, then don’t you owe me an explanation?” Peggy said as she picked up her drink to take a sip.

“You know, for a second I forgot that I would have to have this conversation again. But honestly, I think it’s worse now that both of you have alcohol and I have a Bucky voice in my head telling me that I can’t have any.”

“Do you usually have Bucky talking to you in your head?”

“Only when it comes to all the doctor stuff. When the doctor was talking about my recovery I was too loopy to remember anything so Bucky had to re-explain everything to me.”

“You guys call him Bucky?” Wanda cut in and honestly I forgot that she didn’t know his nickname.

“His middle name is Buchanan, we’ve always called him Bucky as a nickname.” Peggy explained.

“That’s where it comes from?” I said in realization.

“He never told you?”

“We don’t really talk about our pasts too much. And he doesn’t know my middle name, I mean technically I don’t have one so…”

“You don’t have a middle name?”

“Well legally no and...biologically no.”

“What does that mean?”

“I was born with three names as every Russian is, my given name, my last name and then our third name which is a feminine version of my father’s name. So we all have three names and not technically a middle name even though my father’s name would come before my last name. And then when I moved to America my grandparents changed my last name to theirs and took away anything that resembled my father. But after I got married and had to run away them I changed my name back to something that they couldn’t find.”

Peggy’s eyes grew big and her jaw hit the floor. “That was so much information. What now?”

I promised to tell her everything but before that, we ordered our food. So as we waited and later as we ate, I told Peggy the whole story of Jackson and my grandmother.

I was just about to get to the end when I looked up across the street, seeing a familiar face. I stopped talking and stared at him, hoping that it wasn’t real. I closed my eyes hoping that this was just a figment of my imagination, of the sleep deprivation, but when I opened my eyes he was still there.

“Y/N.” I heard Wanda say, trying to get my attention.

But I just stared at him. I tried to breath but it felt like I didn’t have lungs, I tried to draw my eyes away but I was too scared that he would move closer if I didn’t watch him, I tired to call out for Bucky but he wasn’t there.

When I got the strength to move in the slightest, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, still keeping my eye on him and pressed the speed dial button for Asa.

AV: Hey Y/N. How’s lunch with the girls?

YN: He's here

AV: He’s there?

YN: I’m looking right at him

I looked over at Peggy, she was, more than likely, talking to Steve on the phone and Wanda was waving down our waiter so she could pay.

AV: How far away is he?

YN: Maybe fifty feet.

AV: Is your grandmother there?

YN: Not that I can see.

I heard some cursing in the background and what sounded like keys.

AV: Listen to me, I want you to keep an eye on him until I get there. Make sure he doesn’t get any closer to you.

YN: What’s going to happen?

“Y/N?” I turned around briefly to see a very panicked Bucky walking over to me, followed by a worried looking Steve. He came over to me first thing and bent down to my level, making sure that I was okay. He followed my line of sight over to where Jackson stood.

“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky said, I almost having forgotten about Asa still on the phone. I turned and looked at him, his face was so much closer than I thought it was going to be, but having him that close was really what relaxed me the most. “It’s going to be okay.”

AV: Y/N? Y/N!

I heard the faint voice and turned my eyes back to Jackson, putting the phone back to my ear.

YN: Sorry.

AV: Is James there?

YN: Yes

AV: Hand him the phone

So I handed Bucky the phone and soon after our waitress finally came over. She tried to hand us our individual checks but Bucky just handed her a couple of bills. Her eyes went wide, but she thanked us for coming in.

“Asa said to bring you back to the house and to make sure that we’re not followed there.” He started to move my wheelchair away from the restaurant, Wanda, Steve and Peggy following us, but I stopped him before we got too far away.

“He’s not going to come and arrest him?”

“No.” He tried to push again and again I stopped him.

“But he violated the restraining order.”

“Your grandmother’s not here, he wants to get both of them at once.”

“I don’t want to see her.”

“I know.”

This time I let him push me out of the restaurant and over to his car. We said a quick goodbye to Steve and Peggy, wishing them a congratulations on their engagement and we started on the road.

I watched the people on the side of the road, catching one last glance at Jackson as we passed by him walking on the street. I watched him until he completely disappeared from view and Bucky despite having seen him too, took the longest way possible back to the house.

Instead of going right back to filming, Wanda went back to the makeup trailer and Bucky and I went to his trailer waiting for Asa to meet us there.

I was set down on the bed towards the back of the trailer, putting my head in my hands and trying my hardest to get his face out of my mind.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” I threw my head up to look at his sudden and very unexpected proclamation.

“What?”

“I said you look beautiful.”

“You’re just trying to distract me.”

“No I’m not.” I looked at him and saw that he was genuine.

“Thank you.”

“I know you’ve been feeling pretty down with everything that’s happening and you always do things for other people.” He came to sit beside me on the bed. “I was so happy when Peggy called you because I thought she would give you a chance to take a break from everything. I know that I don’t really do that with all the doctor stuff and now everything with your grandmother. I really wanted to give you a moment of normalcy. I’m sorry you lunch was ruined.”

“It wasn’t ruined. I had a pretty good time. We talked about how Steve proposed and Peggy threatened to set me and Wanda up on blind dates. That’s what girlfriends do. Best friends keep your crazy ex-husband from coming after you and take care of you after you’ve been in an accident and want you to have a girls day so that you can be happy.”

“Really is that the job description for a best friend?” He laughed.

“Well if it isn’t you’ve gone above and beyond.”

“You’re going to make it through this. Next week will be better, I feel it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

We got through the rest of the day with no sightings of Jackson or my grandmother. And honestly that made me more nervous. We got back to the apartment that night and Bucky made us dinner and where sleep came easily for him, it was too hard for me.

He fell asleep facing me that night and I just watched him, hoping that feeling him at peace would give me some. I saw how the lines that were usually on his forehead disappeared, I could see his chest move up and down slowly signifying that he was actually there, and I heard a little snore escape when his lips parted, making me think about how it would feel to really have his lips on mine.

But as the night got later and as I picked out more and more things that I really loved about him, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to sleep that night. Except, the real issue was that right as I finally began to fall asleep, Jackson’s face would pop up and ruin everything still leaving me quite awake. So Instead, I would distract myself by retreating back to the dream of Bucky and I, finding a little bit of peace despite not finding sleep.

And the following day was much of the same. Filming, eating lunch, hanging out with Bucky and Asa, trying to hide how completely exhausted I was, being paranoid that my ex-husband and grandmother were stalking me, you know the usual. And the similarities of the day didn’t stop there, they rolled on through to the night.

Except with this night, I laid there watching Bucky, just like before, but the longer I did the more my eyelids began to droop. Sleep had finally come, it felt like maybe just a couple of minutes but it had been long enough for Bucky to get completely ready for the day and attempt to wake me up multiple times.

If I hadn’t already been in a wheelchair he would of had to carry me out of the apartment, I was so exhausted at that point.

We drove to the house for one last day of filming for the week and I honestly had no idea what Bucky was going to do. With everything going on I had never had the chance to ask him about how the week was going, who he was going to keep on the show and who he wasn’t, and honestly it made me feel terrible.

We parked with the other cars and Bucky came to help me out and into my wheelchair once again.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Bucky pointed out to me.

“It’s possible.”

“Why don’t you go take a nap in my trailer?”

“You don’t want me at filming?”

“I want you to get some sleep, I know you haven’t been. I’ll be fine without you for a couple of hours.”

“No you won’t.”

“That may be true, but I’ll hide it as best as I can.” I smiled as much as I could and Bucky helped me over to his trailer. He walked me back over to the bed and set me down.

“Bucky?”

“Hmmm?”

“Will you stay with me, for just a little bit?”

“Sure, I have a few minutes.” He climbed in next to me and I wrapped my arms around him, just needing to feel safe for a moment more. “Are you okay?” He asked, definitely feeling how tight I was holding on to him.

“What are you going to do?” I asked instead.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You have one girl to kick off today. We haven’t really talked about anything but me lately and...what are you going to do?”

“You’re worried about me, when you can hardly keep your eyes open and you are literally having the worst month of your life?”

“I just feel bad that all we’ve talked about is—”

“You shouldn’t feel bad.”

“I know that this isn’t what you signed up for—” He pulled me out of his arms far enough so that I could look at him.

“Y/N, if you think for one second that I wouldn’t do anything for you, than you’re insane.”

“I just want you to be happy and with everything going on it just seems like—”

“What makes you think I’m not happy?”

“Because this is crazy. First I’m in an accident then the thing with Chloe and now Jackson.”

“This is about him isn’t it?”

“No.”

“You haven’t been sleeping because of him. Are you thinking about what he did?”

I knew I could be honest with him. “At lunch...I thought that watching him, making sure that he didn’t get any closer to me would help. Now I can’t get his face out of my head, I see him when I close my eyes. If I keep my eyes open I don’t see him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I just hate thinking about what your family did to you, forcing you to marry him.”

“I hate thinking about it too but I guess in a way it helped me realize my dream, it really pushed me to take my life back into my own hands. Which was important.”

“Well I’m thankful for that, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Whatever, you’re just saying that.”

“No I’m serious. You remember that day when I helped you write out all of those fitting notes?”

“Yes.”

“I was planning on quitting the show that day. I wanted you to be the first person to know and the longer I sat there helping you, the more you convinced me that I needed to do this.”

“What did I say to convince you?”

“It wasn’t anything you said, it was just being with you that reminded me of the audition and everything that everyone had been working on to give me this shot. I couldn’t just walk away.”

“You deserved to be on the show, you deserve to find happiness.”

“Even if I don’t end up with someone on the show...I did find happiness and I found you, so I’m walking away with something.”

“Now you’re really just trying to distract me.”

“I want to help you.”

“With?”

“Falling asleep.”

“Take your best shot.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Bucky—”

“Trust me. Close your eyes and think of nothing, just listen to my voice.” So I closed my eyes and did as he said. “I want you to think of the thing that makes you happier than anything in the world.”

Oh you mean you? I thought to myself.

I know that I shouldn’t have, because he was way too close to me, but my head automatically went back to that dream. I loved the touch of his skin, his hand resting on my cheek, I could feel his other hand making small circles on my lower back, and the whole while he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I had a hand rested against his shoulder, my arm laid against his chest, and my other arm was wrapped around his waist, keeping him close to me. Honestly it only made it that much harder to not get sucked into my dream, to not get pulled off into the beautiful fantasy of it all. And it turn having him there, having him talk me out of my doubts and be so concerned with helping me sleep, did help keep the nightmares away and keep my eyes closed.

Sleep eventually followed.

BUCKY’S POV

I became distracted. I laid there next to Y/N until she fell asleep, completely forgetting about the fact that I should have already been to hair and makeup. But honestly I didn’t want to leave, I should have known that they would find me though.

I heard a light knock on the door and without me having to say anything I saw Wanda pop her head in. Before she could get too close, I tried to untangle myself from Y/N, seeing that she was so tired that she didn’t have the will to fight me pulling away from her. I hated to leave her, but I really didn’t have a choice...which sucked.

I followed Wanda out of the trailer and she didn’t say anything to me until we both knew that we wouldn’t wake Y/N.

“How is she?” She asked first thing.

“She’s paranoid, which I expected, but she’s tired and hasn’t slept in two days. It makes me feel bad that she doesn’t feel safe enough to sleep at my apartment.”

“I’m sure it’s not that, she seemed really scared when she saw him at lunch and she just stared at him, like if she took her eyes off of him he would move closer or he would do something to her. I’m sure she is having a hard time forgetting that face. I just got a brief glance of him but I know I'm not forgetting him.”

“I’m just worried.”

“Me too.”

We stepped into the hair and makeup trailer and I let them get to work. As they worked I texted Asa, trying to get a hold of him and letting him know that Y/N was fast asleep in my trailer. I was hoping that I could get him to at least be close to the trailer just in case she woke up, I didn’t really want her to be alone.

I sat as the two ladies worked on me and anxiously waited for Asa to respond, Wanda kept talking to me, trying to keep my mind off of things but every now and then I would check my phone to see that there was no response. After they were done with everything, moving quicker than usual since I had been late, I quickly moved to the wardrobe trailer and got dressed, not caring all too much about myself. I knew that since I had gotten ready so fast, I had some time to go back and check on Y/N and maybe even try to find Asa.

So I was making my way back towards my trailer when I actually spotted Asa walking towards me.

“Hey, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.” I said to him.

“You have?”

“Yeah I texted you.”

“I’m not a texter.”

“Anyway, Y/N is asleep in my trailer, I was hoping you could stay with her while I’m filming so she doesn’t freak out when she wakes up.”

“Um...sure, is she okay? She’s seemed a little tired yesterday but I thought she was doing fine.”

“Yeah she’s just having some trouble sleeping, I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

“I don’t mind waiting there.”

“I’ll show you the way, I was going to check on her before I started filming.”

So we started to make our way over to my trailer and as we got closer, both Asa and I noticed something very wrong.

Walking away from my trailer, in the opposite direction from where we were, were a man and a woman and what looked like a third slung over the man’s shoulder. I automatically recognized it as Y/N with her Y/H/C hair and the long dress that she had been wearing earlier. I think Asa saw it too.

We both rushed over to them but when we got close, Asa withdrew his gun and pushed me behind him. I could feel the anger rise within me, I hated the idea of him taking her away from me, of him even trying to. Just seeing him with her thrown over his shoulder was making me want to cut out in front of Asa and just take him out myself.

“Police! Stop where you are.” They both paused, knowing that they had been caught, both turning very slowly to face us.

“Vanhoose.” Jackson said.

“Put Y/N down.”

“You must always get in the way, this is my wife. I am simply taking her home.”

“Your marriage was annulled, you no longer have any say over what happens to her. Put her down.”

They both looked at each other as if they were coming up with some sort of plan but I was just worried about Y/N and why she wasn’t doing anything.

“James, walk over there.” He said to me. “You’re going to hand Y/N to her friend James here.” He instructed Jackson. I had to admit, that as I moved closer and closer to Jackson the more worried and angry I got, not only because I was very close to a big time criminal, but because I could hear Y/N whispering my name, like she was calling out for my help.

I grabbed Y/N from Jackson as gently as I could, wrapping my arms around, holding her tight to my chest and trying to figure out what was wrong. I brushed her hair out of her face and tried my best to hold her up. She was trying so hard to keep her eyes open and she just kept saying my name.

“Y/N, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

I tried to convince her that I was still there but she seemed so out of it, which wouldn’t make sense if she had just been sleeping, she would have woken up. So what did they do to her?

I looked around me to see a few of the security staff was now by us. One was behind me on the phone with the police, one was with Asa, holding back a now handcuffed grandmother and one more was holding Jackson as Asa moved from her grandmother, grabbing his second pair of handcuffs as he moved.

I tried one last time to wake Y/N up but she couldn’t fight the drowsiness. I looked over at Jackson to see a smile on his face and honestly that was the last straw for me. I thought of the way he had been holding her just a few minutes ago, I thought of the possibility of what he did to make her this way, I thought about the story and why Y/N had been so paranoid knowing that whatever he did had to be bad. All of that just added up and all the sudden I couldn’t think straight.

I handed Y/N off to the security guard and then I walked over to Jackson. I used my walk to rev up before I punched him square in the jaw. My fault in doing that though...he wasn’t handcuffed when I did it. Apparently my head, as I went through everything that led me to that point, worked a lot faster than Asa did at getting handcuffs on him. So right after I punched him he broke through the hold of the security guard and punched me right back.

Following his punch was the subsequent tackle made by both the security guard and Asa, only this time it didn’t take nearly as long to get the handcuffs on him. Asa just glared at me as they stood him back up and I walked back over to Jackson.

“What did you do to her?!” I yelled in his face, he just smiled again.

“What’s going on?” Asa asked.

“They did something to her, she won’t wake up.”

The other security guard brought her grandmother to where Jackson was and Asa gave them a stern look that I’m sure had to work on the criminals he interrogated.

“I already have a list of things to charge you two with, let’s not add another one shall we? What did you do to her?”

“We just gave her something to sleep, so she wouldn’t fight us.” Her grandmother mumbled.

“What did you give her?”

“Why does it matter?” Jackson sassed back.

“She’s on other medication.”

“It’s whatever sedative they use at the hospital.” She said.

“You don’t even know what you gave her. I hope you two rot in prison.” I turned away from them went back over to Y/N. I grabbed her in my arms again and asked the security guard to follow me.

If I was right and I remembered the type of sedatives they used in hospitals correctly, then Y/N would be fine. So I went to my trailer and set her down on my bed and instructed the security guard to not leave her side...just in case. As soon as I got her settled in, I rushed over to the house.

I was late. Not by much but I was late. So instead of waiting around for me they went ahead and started filming some of the scenes with the girls which really worked in my favor. I walked up to the house and sat in an extra chair behind the director letting him know I was there. Wanda was the first person to pay me any attention and was very startled by what she saw.

“What the hell happened to your eye?” She said, reaching up to touch my cheek.

“I got punched by a criminal. Is it bad?”

“It’s there. Stay here.” She ran over and grabbed one of the makeup girls and she gave me a weird look before she attempted to cover up the black eye.

“So what were you saying about a criminal?” She directed me back to why I had the bruise.

“Jackson.”

“He was here?”

“Tried to make it off with Y/N.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. We stopped them just in time though and Asa arrested them.”

“So they’re done.”

“They’re done. But honestly, I thought they were going to put up more of a fight.”

“More of a fight? You’ve already got a black eye.”

“Well I started it, you should see the other guy.” I joked.

“You started it?”

“I just got so angry and I hated thinking about what he could've done to her, but I will say that I should've checked he was in handcuffs first.”

“Awww, look at you...coming to her rescue.”

“I wasn’t going to let him hurt her again...and neither would Asa.”

The makeup artist did the best that she could but there was nothing she could do about the swelling, it would have to go down in time.

So I went through filming, the black eye having earned plenty of sympathy points with the girls, and every time I had a break I would go and check on Y/N. I even found a chance to call Y/N’s doctor to ask about the sedative and how long he thought it would take for her to wake.

But as the filming finished for the day and the count of the girls went from five to four, I was relieved for the week to be over. I found myself more relieved to know that I had some good news for Y/N.

I went to my trailer first thing and relieved the security guard and he looked glad to be done. I went over to Y/N and tried my best to wake her up but she was deep in sleep. So I carefully moved her out of the trailer and into her wheelchair before I moved her to my car and drove home.

The drive was quiet, I didn’t bother to turn on the music, and every now and then I would just look over at her and see how peaceful she looked. I loved that she was getting some sleep, despite the aid of the sedative.

When I pulled up to my apartment I carried Y/N in and got her settled in the bed before I went about our nightly ritual by myself. I made dinner, I watched Netflix, I even did some laundry and some other cleaning, really anything to pass the time.

But as the night stretched on, I came to a quick realization...I didn’t like doing regular things alone.

I had only had Y/N living with me for a couple of weeks and honestly nothing would be the same. She always helped me cook our meals, even if it was just as entertainment, she always commented on how wrong I did my laundry and explained in detail how to do it right, even watching TV was boring without her talking through most of it.

What would happen when she woke up and I told her that the doctor said that it was okay for her to be on crutches, that it was okay for her to go home?

When I finally headed in for the night, I saw her laying in the same position that I left her in, resting on her back, propped against the pillows, looking as beautiful as before. I went and sat beside her on the edge of the bed, brushing a stray piece of hair off of her skin. I looked at her and just thought about how happy she made me, letting my hand rest on her cheek. I thought about her laugh and how it sounded like the most beautiful sound in the world, like something indescribable and completely her, I thought about the touch of her skin, the tingle and sparks that seemed to electrify mine when our hands brushed or when we held each other close, I thought of her smile...her lips. God I wanted to kiss those lips. I wanted it more than air.

I knew I was in trouble, I had known it from the second I met her, but right in this second, staring at her and being as close to her as I was, I knew I was in deep deep trouble.

I brought my other hand up to her cheek and just held her face in my hands, wanting to memorize the feeling while I still had the chance. My heart was beating out of my chest, it was the only sound that I could hear, and I wished more than anything that it would beat loud enough for her to hear.

And then I did the unthinkable.

I moved real close to her, my face only an inch from her, my lips an inch from her…

And in a moment of pure unadulterated necessity, I put my lips on hers.

I didn’t linger, I didn’t expect anything to happen, I just wanted to know what she felt like. And it was...nothing like I had imagined. It was so much better.

If I thought I had been in trouble before, I don’t even know what I was now.

I could have died in that kiss and I would have been happy.

I moved off the edge of the bed and silently went into the bathroom. I closed my eyes and leaned against the door for support, the only thing holding me up at this point. When I gained control over my legs I moved to the sink and threw some cold water on my face, trying anything at this point to wipe the memory of her lips from me.

When that didn’t work I opted to go to bed, it being my only option at this point. I laid awake for a while facing away from Y/N tonight, not trusting myself to look at her again.

Sleep came to me as unexpected as sleep does, taking me away from the reality of today and into a dream of what could be.

Ever since Y/N had come to live with me, she had become a constant staple in my dreams. I thought that having her close had caused some wild dreams, ones that I had fought and somehow managed to keep under control, but with the feeling of her lips etched onto mine, it made that barrier of control crash down...hard.

I was definitely in trouble.

Y/N’S POV

I was definitely in trouble. If I didn’t stop having this dream, or in the case of today’s sleep, make it more elaborate, if you catch my drift, I swear I would go insane. I looked at the ceiling for a few minutes picking out the few spots I had before, results from the sleepless nights. But what I didn’t understand was why I was at Bucky’s apartment. Surely there was no way that I slept through the entire day.

So instead of trying to figure out that mystery I opted to day dream. I looked over at Bucky and how peaceful he was sleeping and I thought about how grateful I was that he let me stay with him. So I thought about how he made me smile and how infectious his laugh was and how he always tried to make me happy by making me Russian food and telling me jokes in Russian so that we’re the only two people who knew what it meant.

“Well you look happy.” I heard Bucky say, I must have been smiling.

“I guess that’s what good sleep will do to you.”

“Well I would hope so, I don’t think I’ve ever slept for 26 hours straight.” He said eyeing the clock.

“What?! 26 hours? You let me sleep for 26 hours?”

“I didn’t really have a choice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not that heavy of a sleeper.”

“I know you’re not.” He said smiling. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this so soon. You looked so happy.”

“Bucky, please tell me what happened.”

He turned and faced me and I automatically noticed the black eye on his face.

“What the hell happened to your eye?!” I said, reaching out to touch his cheek and pulling him closer so that I could get a better look at it.

“It’s nothing. Let me explain.”

He told me everything that happened after he left me asleep in the trailer. I was shocked.

“He was just going to walk away with me?”

“I would have never let it happen.”

“And they gave me a sedative?”

“The doctor said to let it run through your system, that you would wake up by yourself.”

I moved my hand back up to his eye, looking at the bruise. “He punched you.”

“Well I started it.”

“He punched you because of me.”

“He punched me because of me. I punched him first.”

“You’re insane for punching him, you do know he’s got a mile long rap sheet, don’t you?”

“I did know that. I was just so angry and worried.”

“About?”

“You. You weren’t doing anything, you should have woken up but you didn’t and I knew he did something.”

He was worried about me.

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, right below the bruise. I let my lips linger for just a second before I pulled just far enough away to make it not so awkward after I kissed him.

“Thank you.”

“I would do anything for you.”

“Well you’ve certainly proved it. I mean with all of this, you didn’t have to take me in or take care of me or any of this.”

“On that note. The doctor said you don’t have to be in a wheelchair anymore.”

“That’s great!”

“We’ll pick up your crutches and with your grandmother and Jackson locked up, you should be safe and healthy enough to go anywhere you want. Which means that—” He seemed hesitant to say what had been lurking over the past couple of days as the week came to a close.

“Which means I should go back to my apartment, get out of your hair.”

“My hair doesn’t mind.” I laughed harder than I probably should have.

“I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“If you think so.” He seemed sad?

“I’m sure you want your apartment back.” I tried to convince myself I needed to go, myself more than him apparently. Surely he was ready to get his apartment back to what it was like before. “Well I’m not moving out right this second. And I for one am excited to get up and try to walk around.”

So I got out of bed and very poorly made my way to the kitchen. Bucky stayed close behind me just in case but I’m sure he got a good laugh out of me trying to maneuver around his apartment.

Bucky and I spent this last day together doing whatever came to mind. He made us breakfast and I made us some pies to eat later with dinner, we got dressed and ready and went to the hospital to get my crutches, and it was nice to be able to laugh with someone that I cared about.

Not only was I greatly energized after sleeping for 26 hours but just hanging out with Bucky without the lingering trouble that my life had brung, had made for a pretty perfect day.

But as the day came to a close, once again, we ate our dinner and our pies and then it was time for me to start packing. Bucky sat on the bed as I repacked all of my things, talking to me and honestly it sounded like he was trying to convince me to stay.

But with everything that had been going on, and the very strong feelings that had started to bubble over, I needed to get my head back on straight, I needed to reign back in everything that had already spilled out.

Bucky carried my things out to his car and he drove me home, it was very...quiet. Really the first time we had ever not said anything to each other.

When we got to my apartment, Bucky carried my things up the stairs and stayed right behind me, making sure that I wouldn’t fall.

I unlocked the door and stepped inside my apartment for what seemed like the first time in forever. Asa’s bags were packed and he was sitting on the couch.

“There’s my favorite Foster daughter.” He got up and came over to hug me. “And out of her wheelchair, they grow up so fast.” He wiped a few fake tears away.

“Okay and I’m your foster daughter, so...”

“I’m assuming James told you everything.” He redirected.

“He did.”

“Which means it's time for me to go.”

“Well I would say that it was nice to have you here but…”

“Hey.”

“I’m kidding. It was really good to see you after all this time.”

“Let’s make it not too long next time.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” He gave me another hug and looked at Bucky.

“You take care of her.” He stuck out his hand for him to shake.

“I will.” He grabbed his hand and shook.

And then he was gone leaving me and Bucky alone.

“So…” He started.

“So…”

“I guess I should go too then. Let you get resettled.”

“Yeah. Thank you for letting me stay with you, it really means a lot that you would offer.”

“It was no problem at all, I loved having you there.”

“Now you can get back to your bachelor ways.”

“Yeah.”

“I know I won't be staying with you anymore but if it’s not too much trouble I would still love to drive in to work with you.”

“Yeah I would like that.” He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Sooner than we’ll both want.” We both laughed and then he left, closing the door behind him.

I looked around my empty apartment, seeing that it looked exactly the same as before. Only now it seemed...lonely.

I tried not to think of it, of how hollow it felt in here now, and opted to go to bed instead of thinking about it any longer.

So that night I fell asleep...completely alone and I had to admit...I didn’t like it.

What had he done to me?

PART NINE

Tell Me What You Think Here

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your-modern-shakespeare · 8 years ago

Text

A Little Too Real (3)

Part 1, Part 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 5583 (eek)

A/N: So this is long over due, but I DID IT! I'm hoping that getting this out will get me back into the swing of things for the summer. Thank you guys for being so patient with me and I really hope that you guys will stick around now that I'm back from my mini hiatus. I'm really excited to come back and feel free to send me comments and feedback and requests. Also I'm sorry for the length, I thought I had been done but then I thought of the angst and I couldn't not do it, the plot must go on. I'm just hoping the length will tide you over until I'm finished with the next chapter of something (I have a few things going). I love you guys and your support over the past few weeks has been astounding, I appreciate it so much. (Y/F/S/D-Your favorite Starbucks Drink)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire

EPISODE ONE

BUCKY’S POV

To say that I was nervous was an understatement. Instead of waiting around my apartment though I decided to spend the day in the wardrobe room with Y/N. So I quickly got ready, not really doing anything because I knew that the makeup and hair teams would have their way with me later. Then I stopped in at Starbucks grabbing the most caffeinated drink they had for me and a Y/F/S/D for Y/N.

As I walked into the room someone was walking out and almost ran into me. I swerved out of the way as she kept walking and texting on her phone, completely ignoring me. I walked over to Y/N whose head was resting on her work station, looking defeated after her visit from whoever that woman was.

“Hey Doll, don’t look so upset to see me.”

She picked up her head and looked at me. Her face automatically broke into a smile and her eyes immediately to the coffee.

“Is that for me?”

“No, I thought I would just buy it and tease you with it.” She rolled her eyes at me and reached out for the cup. I smiled at her and came to sit at the chair next to her, putting the cup in her hands. “So who was that vile woman who just walked out?”

“You saw her?”

“She almost made me drop the coffee.”

“That would have been terrible.”

“She almost knocked into me too.”

“Well as long as the coffee was okay.” I laughed at her, which made her smile again. “But, she’s a reality star from another show, I just got done with her fitting.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m booked for the day.”

“Oh.” I tried to say the same as before but sounded more upset. I think she caught on to my disappointment.

“But I could use your help, if you want to stay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If I have to step away to take fitting notes, the fittings last longer.”

“You want me to take notes.”

“You are literate right?”

“Yes I’m literate.”

“Good. Then I guess you can stay. But you have to write down everything I say.”

“Will do.”

We had the next actress come in and she started talking to the woman. So like she said I started writing down everything that she said…just to mess with her. Most of it was abbreviated but everything that they talked about I wrote down. So when the actress left, Y/N came over to look at my notes and then glared at me.

“Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you write down everything?”

“You told me to write down everything you said. So I did.”

“Bucky.”

“Y/N.”

“You are crazy.”

“I was just doing what I was told. You said—”

“I know I said everything. But next time just write down what I tell you to write down.” She turned to get the next fitting set up but then looked back at me. “I’m watching you.”

“You can watch me all you want, doesn’t mean your fitting will get done.” I smirked at her and she tried her hardest to hide her smile before she turned away. She went behind the curtain and ignored me until the next actor came in. We worked together all day on her notes and I teased her about any little thing I could. She was fun to mess with. When we got done with her last fitting I had about an hour until I needed to meet up with hair and makeup to get ready for filming.

“So you going to be at the filming tonight, right?” I asked.

“Uh…yes. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Why?” She came and stood right in front of me.

“Well I figured that at least one of the girls has to be crazy so I will need someone to hide with between breaks.”

“Oh, I see.” She smiled at me.

“I can only take so much crazy.”

“Well I will be there and I will also bring your suit over to hair and makeup as soon as I steam out the wrinkles.”

“You’re the best Y/N. Want to get dinner with me?”

“Sure.”

So we left the wardrobe room and we both went over to the tent that was serving dinner for the casts and crews of the network. As we ate, we talked and Y/N made my nerves disappear. She always had a way of making me feel at home.

Y/N’S POV

As soon as I was done with dinner I tried to return to the wardrobe room, knowing very well that my best friend and Wardrobe assistant was racing to catch up with me.

“Y/N, wait up!” She yelled after me, obviously my fast pace having not worked.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“What’s up? What’s up? Maybe the fact that you spend every moment you can with James or that you’re eating every meal with James, or how about the fact that James was taking notes for you at your fittings today. Maybe that’s what’s up?”

“And?”

“What’s going on? I am your best friend and I want all the juicy details…right now.”

“Wanda, there are no juicy details. We’re friends. We like to hang out with each other, nothing else. I mean he’s on the show, so nothing else could happen even if either of us wanted to, which neither of us do.”

“You can’t tell me that you have no feelings for that beautiful…man. If I could sign up for the show now…I would.”

“I don’t have feelings for him like that.” I lied, having pushed those feelings down. “I really just like to hang out with him.”

“I don’t believe you for a second.”

“You don’t have to believe me, but you will have to live with the fact that you’re wrong, not me.”

“Oh, I’m never wrong.”

“Don’t you have something to do?”

“Don’t you have someone’s suit to steam?”

“Oh, you mean my job?”

“Sure whatever you say.” She laughed at me and then we parted ways. I went back to the wardrobe room to steam Bucky’s suit and then I headed over to makeup and hair to check in with him.

I walked into the trailer and took a seat in the empty chair behind him, hanging the suit on one of the hooks on the wall behind me. Bucky had his eyes closed as the hairdresser ran her fingers through his hair, making sure that whatever product she had put in his hair completely disappeared. When she was done, he sat back up and slowly opened his eyes, seeing me sitting behind him.

“Hey.” He said, stretching and yawning, trying to wake himself up.

“Hi.”

“Sorry, people messing with my hair always make me tired.”

“Duly noted.” He smiled at me.

“So what are you doing in here?”

“I brought your suit.”

“Oh, yeah that’s kind of important.”

“Yeah but I will warn you, I made a mistake and now your shirt doesn’t have any sleeves.” I said in all seriousness. I saw a brief look of panic cross over his face and when I smiled, not being able to contain myself, he laughed hard.

“You almost had me there. You almost did.”

“Oh and it got quick rigged with velcro.”

“Ha ha very funny.”

“I couldn’t resist, if i didn’t at least try I would have missed out on a great teasing opportunity. Y/N 1, Bucky 0.”

“Oh so we’re going there.”

“Might as well. We’ve got a long ten weeks ahead of us.”

“Yes we do.”

As soon as he was done with hair and makeup I handed the suit off to him and he changed. He came out looking as good as before and I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t leap in my chest at the sight of him and his smile.

“You want to do that fancy knot you were talking about?” He held out the tie for me.

“Sure.” I placed the tie around my neck, pulling the ends until it was the right length, moving the tail and body around until I got the “fancy knot.” I took it from around my neck and handed it to him.

“Fancy.” He said and went to put it around his neck.

“Are you nervous?”

“Yeah.”

“Just be yourself and trust your gut. Also don’t let any of them feel weird about your arm. They don’t know the story, so they don’t get the right to be weird about it.”

“Thanks.”

“And…” I moved to fix his collar, moving my hands around his neck, “remember that you deserve to be happy. Listen to your heart.”

He looked down at me, the new closeness increasing the tension in the room and god if I didn’t just want to reach up and kiss him. But the thing that really threw me off was just for a second I thought that he wanted to kiss me too.

The door to the trailer opened and before the guy could walk in I pulled away from Bucky.

“Hey, you ready?” I turned and saw Steve standing in the trailer. “Hey, Y/N. He looks good.”

“Well, it is my job.”

“Are you ready to go?” Steve asked.

“I’m as ready as I’m going to get.” Bucky said. He turned to grab his jacket and looked at me before he walked out. “You’re coming right?”

“I’ll be there. I’m going to pop some popcorn first because this is going to be a show.”

“Ha ha you’re very rude.”

“Go, I’ll be there soon.”

The truth was I just needed some time to recover from the almost kiss that probably didn’t happen and was all just in my head. That and I was going to have to watch 25 other women go after him, when in truth I do wish I was one of them, and I needed to put my head back on straight.

BUCKY’S POV

We climbed into the car that would take us over to the house that the girls would be staying at. Steve was sitting next to me and we was staring at me, pretty much the whole way there. I knew that he had something to say, and most likely not something I wanted to her. But it was getting annoying real fast.

“What?” I turned to look at him.

“So what’s up with you and Y/N?” He asked blatantly.

“She’s my friend.” I looked out the window.

“I don’t know about that, the air was pretty thick when I walked in.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I just…I see the way you look at her.”

“The way I look at her…”

“Like she’s something special.”

“She is special, but she’s my friend.”

“Right now, anyway.” I turned and glared at him. “Come on, you can’t tell me that you don’t feel anything else for her. She’s beautiful and I have never seen you smile as much as you do when you’re with her.”

“And?”

“And you like her.”

We pulled up in front of a huge house and I moved to climb out.

“That’s beside the point.” I tried to say low enough so he wouldn’t hear, but I think he did.

READER’S POV

I showed up at the house with my kit in hand and walked over to the production area. Everyone there was setting up all of the equipment needed for filming and I just kind of looked around for something to do.

To be honest I usually didn’t do this. I used to, before I became the head of the department, but going out to set that was the wardrobe crews job. So why was I here?

“Hey, you made it.” I heard from behind me. I turned to see Bucky sitting in a director’s chair, waiting to get filming.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Here, why don’t you sit in my chair? I’m sure they’ll call me to do something soon.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

I looked up at him and could see the worry etched there.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

“You know, I have done a lot of terrifying things before. I’ve worked on billion dollar rockets that have flown into outer space, I had to have my arm amputated after it got stuck in one of those very expensive engines, I had to learn to live a whole new life, and yet for some reason I feel terrified about being on this show.”

“You?”

“I know. I just…I’ve never been on TV before. I didn’t think there would be this many cameras and there are so many people standing around watching me. I mean am I insane? This is how this works right?”

“Yes. I know that this may seem strange to you, but it’ll be okay. Like I’ve told you before, it’s just important that you’re yourself. Try and ignore the cameras.”

“Yeah.” I looked up at him and saw him staring out at the people moving around, obviously letting his nerves get the best of him.

“My mom…sometimes I forget that I ever had one. But when I was little I used to be terrified of storms, the blizzards used to get really bad in Moscow, but she was always there to comfort me. I thoroughly believe that she had the best hugs in the entire world. Anytime she held me I knew that everything was going to be okay.” He looked over at me, his eyes narrowed, causing a wrinkle to form on his forehead. I wanted to reach up and smooth the lines, the worry, from his head..

“Do you miss her?” He asked.

“Every day.” I looked back down at the ground. “But, anyway, I think the best way to not feel terrified of things is just to know that you’re not alone. And she always made sure that I would never be alone…as much as she could.”

“What do you—?” I knew what he was about to ask, so interrupted him.

“Can I try something?”

“Try something?”

“I think it’ll help your nerves.”

“Okay.”

I stood up from the chair and faced him and literally in the most awkward way possible I hugged him. I was kind of kicking myself for the way I did it, but he didn’t seem to mind. He pulled me in tighter, making the initial awkwardness vanish as we settled into each other’s arms. I had my arms wrapped around his neck, his chin rested on my shoulder, his arms squeezed my waist, holding me firmly to him, my hand moved to the back of his neck, where his long hair met skin, and we breathed in each other, a sense of relief washing over us.

I don’t think it lasted long but for a second I thought the whole world stopped moving. I was the first to pull away and even when I did his hands still lingered on my waist and my hands moved to rest on his arms.

“You’ll be okay, they’re going to love you.” I started.

“Thanks.” He looked at me just a second before he let go of me and went off to do something before they needed him for filming.

I plopped back in the chair and put my face in my hands.

“I saw that.”

I nearly fell out of the chair at the voice coming from behind me.

“God, are you trying to kill me?“ I turned to face Wanda.

“Oh no. This budding romance is only at the start, it’s no fun if you die before it gets really heated.”

“Heated?”

“The sexual tension between you—”

“Wanda!”

“I’m only stating the facts here.”

“No you are stating your opinion.”

“Why are you here?”

“I am here to—”

“Do you job? Wrong, my job is to go to location and insure that what you’ve done at the studio makes it here. So your job is what, a good thirty minutes from here?”

“Fine, he asked me to be here, is that what you want to hear?”

“No what I want to hear is that he grew some balls and asked you out on a date. But then again—”

“Wanda!”

“Come on. Like I was trying to say before, the sexual tension between you two—”

“Please stop, if you care for my sanity at all, you’ll stop.”

“I’ll stop…for now.”

“That’s definitely not what I meant.”

“This is far from over.” She glared at me as she walked away and I sunk down lower in the chair, waiting for filming to start, hoping it started soon.

It wasn’t much longer that they decided to start. This first episode was pretty simple from my understanding, the only hard part was that most of the episode was a repetition of the same choreography but 25 times and with 25 different women. The woman would drive up to the house, get out of the car and walk over to Bucky, or James as they would call him, who was standing in front of the house at the edge of the driveway. Then they would give him a quick first impression spiel and go inside the house. Pretty simple, or so I thought.

The first woman to come out set a good bar for everyone else. All of the women were instructed to wear a formal gown and this woman was very beautiful, supermodel beautiful, and she played it simple, gave her name, told him a few things about herself and then she went inside. It was kind of every girl after that got steadily worse, and I don’t know if they planned it that way, but it was bad.

You had the drunk girl, the girl who showed up in a costume, the girl who tried to play a practical joke, the girl who went for it and tried making out with him, the girl who rode in on a horse, and the one who brought her grandma to talk herself up. It kind of made everyone else dull in comparison, or seem ��normal” as they call it.

About halfway through the limo first impressions, Steve came over at sat with me and we just laughed at Bucky’s reactions to each of the girls. And when we finally got to break, after all of the girls were in the house, Bucky came over to us and we tried so hard not to laugh.

“Okay, just let it out now.” He said and with that we couldn’t keep ourselves from laughing. “Okay, okay.” He looked at me first. “I know that you helped pick these girls out and I pretty sure that about half of them were some kind of joke.”

“No, I got to initially go through the candidates but I wasn’t there for the final selection. But believe me if I had known that some of those girls were that bad I wouldn’t have pulled them out for selection.”

“Well look at the upside, first impressions, I bet you know who you don’t want to keep on the show.” Steve said positively.

“But he still has over half of the episode to film. And you still get some time to talk to the girls before you decide which 12 get to stay.”

Steve stood from his chair and Bucky moved to sit, having been on his feet for a long time now. I grabbed the other half stack of notecards (cards with the girls name and face on them) from Steve and compiled our stack. He looked kind of down after that and I wasn’t completely sure what was going through his head but it looked like he needed a pep talk.

“Here,” I handed him the stack, “you need to work on memorizing their names and try and just breath. I know that that seemed really crazy but you need to think about each girl and how you felt, not about what they did. First Impressions aren’t everything.”

“Thanks.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and grabbed Steve’s arm before I walked away.

“You know, you’re really good for him.”

“Am I?”

“Can I tell you a secret? Bucky can’t know that I told you.”

“Okay.”

“Last night Bucky came over to my apartment, talking about how nervous he was and I tried everything I could, but he was planning on quitting. He left this morning with every intention of leaving the show and asking them to find someone else. He said he was going to stop by and see you before he went to the producers. But apparently it was something that you did that convinced him to stay on. Now we don’t think this at all, but Bucky has always battled with this idea that he was never going to be good enough for someone. It’s how he got so deep into his depression before, not being able to handle life with just one arm. But he’s better now and I can see him actually being happy with someone and maybe with one of these girls. So honestly I was upset when he said he wanted to quit. But either way, I’m glad you convinced him not to, even if you did it unintentionally. He needs you to support him, so I’m glad you’re going to be around to help him.”

“Yeah. I’m glad too, he deserves to be happy.”

“He does.”

As soon as we were done with our talk we walked back over to Bucky. Who was flipping through the cards and talking under his breath. I let my hand rest back on his shoulder and some of the stress seemed to leave him.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m better.”

“How’s the name game going?” Steve asked.

“Good I think. A lot of names to remember for one night.”

“You’ll be fine, if you forget don’t be scared to ask for their name. It kind of gives them a chance for a second impression.” I said.

“Okay.”

“And go with your gut.” Steve said.

“Yeah.”

“James they need you back on set.” One of the PAs came over and announced.

“Okay, let’s do this.” He stood up, handed me the cards and straightened his suit before he walked back over to the house. And Steve and I sat back down in our chairs waiting for the next half of the show.

We watched as Bucky made his way back in the house, when one of the members of the production staff stopped him and put him back on his mark from earlier. We had gone through all of the girls so why was he out front again?

We waited to see what would happen and then another limo pulled up.

“What’s happening?” Steve leaned over and asked me.

“I don’t know.”

“I thought that there were only supposed to be 25.”

“I thought so too.”

So we watched, the suspense I think killing us all. And then a red haired woman stepped out of the limo, wearing a beautiful black silk/satin gown, that hugged all of her curves and showed way too much skin.

I didn’t look at her long, I quickly turned to Bucky to see the absolute horror on his face. Which then turned to unquestionable anger. Steve and I both moved closer to the screen that the director was watching, trying to listen in to what was going on.

“What are you doing here?” He growled.

“I missed you Bucky.”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“What should I call you? James?”

“You shouldn’t be addressing me at all. You shouldn’t be here Natasha!” He rose his voice.

“I’m sorry about what happened, but I’m here now.”

“Yeah? Now is too late, I needed you then.”

“What about second chances?”

“I gave you a second chance and a third and a fourth and I’m not giving you any more chances to fool me. I did this to start over, so I’m not going back to you.”

He then stormed out of the frame of the cameras and to god knows where. It looked like she was about to move to follow him but Steve thought quicker.

“I got Nat, you go get Bucky.”

Then we split up. I ran in the direction that he stormed off, walking aimlessly, looking around the backside of the building for him, when I was pulled off my track and behind a tree.

“Bucky—” He just pulled me in his arms, taking in a deep breath as he settled his face in my neck.

“God I hate her, I hate her.” I didn’t say anything to him. I just held him and when he still felt angry I moved one of my hands to his hair and just let my fingers run through it, massaging his scalp as I did.

He took in a deep breath and I could tell that he was feeling better.

“I’m really glad it was you that followed me.”

“Well it looked like you needed someone to hide with.” He laughed at me and finally let me go.

“I can’t believe they asked her to be on the show.”

“I had no idea—”

“I know.”

“You know what’s good about this though?"

“Y/N you don’t know what hap—”

“The good thing about this is that you’re the one who gets to kick her off.”

“What?”

“She asked to be on the show, she’s a contestant and you have to kick off 14 people today. She could definitely be one of them.”

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“It does mean that you’ll have to put up with her for at least a little bit but it’s just one night and you have so many other people you need to talk to. Just don’t let her being here cloud your judgement.”

“You’re right…as usual.”

“I don’t have the constitution to be wrong.” He laughed and smiled, looking a lot better than before. “You ready to go back?”

“If I have to.”

“Well we could just run away, skip the country, you know the easy way of dealing with things.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Come on. Let’s go get this over with. Then we can go drink our feelings away.”

“God, that’s a great idea.”

So we walked from the back of the house to the front where the crew was obviously waiting. There was no sign of Natasha and as soon as Steve saw us he came over to where we were.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Y/N’s getting me drunk tonight.”

“No, I said—”

“It’s okay.” Bucky said before he patted me on the back, winked and walked back over to the production crew.

“I did not say that I was going to get him drunk. At first I offered to run away.”

“You are a bad influence on him.”

“No I’m not.”

“If I’m being honest, you’re probably the only one who could have brought him back from that.”

“She must have done something terrible to get on his bad side.”

“Oh she did.”

The rest of the shoot went fairly well. Bucky went inside the house and started chatting with the girls, getting to know them better. Any time that Natasha tried to talk to him, he ignored her and pulled aside another girl to talk to. And the whole time I sat next to Steve and we watched Bucky and Steve watched me. I don’t know what he was looking for but it started to creep me out.

“What?” I asked when I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“What?”

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Oh, no reason.”

“You’ve been staring at me this whole time.”

“Do you like Bucky?”

“What? Of course I do.”

“No— like like him?”

“What are you getting at?”

“I talked to your friend Wanda—”

“Well that’s your first mistake.”

“She says that she sees something between the two of you and I think so too.”

“And like I told her, you’re crazy. Bucky is my friend.”

“And he’s practically my brother, but he’s happy with you.”

“As a friend.”

“As maybe more.”

“Steve—”

“I’m serious Y/N.”

“So am I.”

I turned back to the scene in front of me and then we had one more break before Bucky chose the 12 girls to move on in the show. He was looking through the notecards again and pulling out the girls that he liked the most and I was surprised to see some of the weird limo exits were mixed in there.

I watched as he smiled at each girl and as I sat there I couldn't stop thinking about what Steve said. Maybe I do wish there was something more.

BUCKY’S POV

When we came back from the last break of the night, I finally announced the 12 girls that advanced to the next week. When the remaining 13 girls got up to leave, I made sure to say something to each of them and thanked them for coming on the show. And then there was Natasha.

“I was really hoping that we could work this out.” She started.

“It’s too late for that, I’ve moved on. And I want you to be happy, but it’s not going to be with me. Goodbye Natasha.” I said with as much sympathy as I could.

“Goodbye James.”

When the director called cut, I immediately walked over to Y/N and Steve, grabbed her hand and just walked as far away as I could.

“Bucky stop, for a second.”

“I just need to get out of here.”

“And we’ll go but…are you okay?”

“I’m gonna need a few drinks to answer that question.”

So I took Y/N back to my apartment and we grabbed all of the alcohol I had, a few glasses and settled in on the couch. I was staring at the wall, sipping at the liquid in my cup, when her voice broke the silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She started. I turned to face her and she moved so she could look at me.

“Natasha and I…we dated for years; a year before I moved to Moscow and the two that I was there. We made the long distance work and everything was really good.” She placed her hand on my knee and I looked down at it, pausing to collect my thoughts. “After my accident, you know, things got bad. I was out of a job, I had no arm, and I was thousands of miles from home, from anyone who cared about me. I tried calling her, I begged her in voicemail after voicemail, for her to come to Moscow…but she never came, never even answered my phone call.”

“Bucky—”

“That’s not the worst part. The final time that I called her I told her that it was over, that if she couldn’t even tell me over the phone some kind of reason for not being there, then I was better off without her. Steve was the only one who ever showed up and he got me back here and he helped me get back to where I was. And then about 3 months after I got back to America, I saw her on the street with another guy.” He paused, I didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue. “They were engaged had been dating for a little over a year.”

“I knew she was a jerk.”

“Yeah. I thought things were so good. And you know, I had chances to go off and find another women. It wasn’t like I was a recluse and I’m a nice guy I could have found someone to date, who lived in Moscow. But every time I had the opportunity I always went back to her, little did I know that she was further away then I thought.”

“I’m going to do for you what I do for everyone else that I’ve ever helped through a terrible breakup.”

“Okay?” She relaxed back on the couch and opened her arms to me.

“Come here.” She said, I looked at her, hesitant, before I moved back to rest against her. My head was laying on her chest and her hand pushed my hair back and out of my face.

“Bucky, you are good person, inside and out. You have had the opportunity to do amazing things and you do not need anyone to define you. Natasha doesn’t deserve you…and if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you. So forget about her because you have so many other things to look forward to. You have so many people who love you and there’s no reason to let her take that away. You will find someone else to be with, because you are kind and funny and smart. Someone will come along who appreciates every aspect of who you are. But until then I will always be here for you and I will make sure that you are happy.” The whole time she spoke, he fingers ran through my hair, it didn’t take me long to relax in her embrace, to close my eyes and just listen to the sound of her voice, her encouragements.

Not only did Y/N show me that she was everything that I needed, but she may have just convinced me that she was everything that I wanted.

PART FOUR

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your-modern-shakespeare · 8 years ago

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A Little Too Real (2)

Part 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 2950

A/N: So I feel super terrible about not posting anything lately. Things have been super hard and people are stupid and I’m trying to figure out a lot of personal things, but honestly all I want to do is hide away on Tumblr. But I really hope you guys enjoy this and I will try and be better.

Warnings: Talk of drunkedness, fluff, little bit of angst, mentioned depression

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire

READER’S POV

There were two things that were true about last night: 1) I drank WAY too much and 2) I didn’t remember anything that happened. When I woke up the next day (I had to admit that it was pretty late in the afternoon) I saw that I had missed a few phone calls and had some texts from Bucky. I quickly read through the texts and listened to my voicemails before I confirmed to every party involved that I was alive, but terribly hungover.

I did make it into work that day, though, no matter how late I was. But when I thought that Bucky would show, I was actually surprised to see Steve walk into my workroom.

“Hey Y/N.” He said.

“Hey Steve, what can I do for you?”

“I was just coming to check on you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I had a really great time last night and Bucky seems to really like you. I’m glad he has a friend on the show.”

“I love hanging out with him. I can actually speak Russian around him, which is awesome.”

“You speak Russian?”

“I was born in Moscow.”

“Wow. That’s really cool. I remember Bucky talking about Russia like it was another planet, he loved it there.”

“I know and It’s so nice to talk to him about it, I miss it everyday.”

“I bet. On another note, I’m having another party in a couple of weeks, which you are invited to, and I just wanted to get some input from an outsider.”

“I wish I could tell you but the last thing I remember is showing up at the party.”

“Oh no…that’s fine, no big deal, all that matters is that you had a good time.”

“I did…of what I remember.”

“Well good. So, I will leave you to your work and I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh and Bucky said he’ll be around later, I’m taking him out to lunch.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Bucky did swing by later and we talked, pretty much just like every other time before. And as we approached the start of filming, this was our routine.

Bucky and I had grown extremely close to each other. We told each other anything and everything that came to mind. Of course we had our secrets but we were still fairly new to each other. I couldn’t deny that I really liked what we had though. I didn’t know if it was anything past friendship or if it ever would be, so I pushed down any feelings that I may have had and tried to keep things simple.

The week before filming for the first episode, I was typing up an expense report when I heard my phone ring and instinctively reached for it, not even seeing who was calling.

Y/N: Y/N Y/L/N

BUCKY: Is Mr. Wall there?

Y/N: No I’m sorry.

BUCKY: What about Mrs. Wall?

Y/N: No, there are no Walls here.

BUCKY: Then what’s holding up your ceiling? I heard muffled laughter on the other side of the line and immediately knew who it was.

Y/N: Bucky?

BUCKY: Hey Y/N

Y/N: I should have known that it was you.

BUCKY: Well if you really don’t mind, I do need to talk to the Walls.

Y/N: Ha ha you’re very funny.

BUCKY: I know. So what are you doing?

Y/N: At the moment typing up an expense report.

BUCKY: That sounds…boring.

Y/N: It is.

BUCKY: Well you should leave your boring job and come help me with something.

Y/N: Oh really?

BUCKY: What if I told you that it tied into your job…but it’s more fun.

I stopped and I thought about it.

Y/N: Let me send this and I’ll be there.

BUCKY: Great, I will see you soon.

Y/N: Yep

So I quickly finished my report and then I headed over to Bucky’s apartment. When I got there, I knocked on the door and he answered immediately.

“Hey, thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, no problem.” He let me in and closed the door behind me.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll take a water.”

“Coming up.” So he went into the kitchen and brought back a bottle of water before he showed me up to his bedroom. “So, as you know we are about to start filming the first episode.”

“Yes?”

“I need your help choosing the right suit.”

“Really?”

“Yes. This is a big deal, this is my first impression and you have to approve it anyway.”

“I already approved everything.”

“So you don’t want to help me?”

“I didn’t t say that.”

“Great. You can sit on the bed. And I will go put on my first suit.”

“You’re going to try everything on?”

“What’s more fun than a fashion show?”

“Okay.” So I moved to sit on the bed, resting against the headrest and pillows.

“So how did your reports go!” He yelled out.

“Good. I was under budget, which was nice!” I yelled back.

“That is good!”

“Are you nervous about the first episode?!” I asked.

“I don’t know! I’m nervous to meet the girls I guess!”

“Why?!”

“It’s just been so long since I’ve been on a good date, I don’t think I know what to do anymore!”

“You’ll be fine! This first episode is all about first impressions! You just have to go with your gut!”

“That can’t be all there is to it.” He walked out of the closet in a royal blue tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants, and a black bow tie.

“There are 25 girls and you don’t get a lot of time with them. If you have a good feeling about them, then keep them in and if you don’t, dont.”

“What do you think?” He said, slowly turning so I could get a good look at his suit.

“I think it’s a little too formal. You don’t want them to think that you’re too serious. You need to put on something that describes your personality.”

“My personality?”

“Yeah, something that says Bucky.”

“Okay.”

He went back into the closet, taking off his jacket as he went.

“You know, I don’t think I’m going to tell the girls my nickname!”

“Really?! Why not?!”

“Only people who know me call me Bucky! I think it would be weird if I had all of these girls calling me Bucky!”

“So you want them to call you James the whole time?!”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll just play it by ear!”

“Maybe once you get to the top three!”

“Maybe!”

I didn’t say anything else until he came out in his second suit.

“Why do you own a bright green suit?” I laughed.

“St. Patrick’s Day.”

“And that’s your personality?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you have that suit tailored to you?”

“What if I did?”

“You like St. Patrick’s Day that much?”

“I like holidays.”

“I’m going to give that a no.”

“Yeah. I have just the thing.”

“I’m ready.”

So I sat back against the bed and messed on my phone as he changed. I was drinking my water when he walked out, needless to say, I spit my water everywhere…and was choking.

“Oh my god!”

“I thought you said you were ready?”

“I am not ready for that.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Why do you even have that?”

“I have my reasons.”

“So you just happen to have a chip n dale costume in your closet. I didn’t see that when I went through it.” The costume was black tuxedo pants, a white shirt with the sleeves cut off, fake cuffs, and a bow tie.

“Because it wasn’t out in my closet.”

“Well I definitely think you should go with this look.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll assume a lot of things.”

“Oh and you haven’t even seen the best part.”

“Oh no.”

He just smiled at me, as he grabbed the collar of his shirt and ripped the whole thing off.

“See, it’s a tear-away.”

“I should have known.” I tried not to smile.

“The hard part is putting it back on…I guess it wasn’t made for that.”

“You would probably be doing something wrong.”

“You’re not wrong about that.”

“Go put on a real option.”

“Fine.”

He trudged back into the closet and I waited for him one last time. The next time he came out he was wearing a three piece grey suit and a burgundy tie.

“I think this suits you.” I held back my laugh.

“Was that a pun?”

“I guess it was.” We both laughed.

“You approve?”

“I do.”

“Great.”

He walked over to the other side of the bed and took off his jacket where I saw that he had put the chip n dale shirt back on, revealing the surprise sleevelessness that I had agreed to. I just laughed at him as he plopped down beside me.

“Hey you approved it.” He said, putting his arms behind his head.

“I know.”

“But if it makes you feel better I won’t wear the shirt for the real thing.”

“You won’t wear that shirt or you won’t wear a shirt?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”

“Oh no.” We both laughed.

As we settled I looked over at him and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about his arm.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“I think I know where this is going.”

“Well you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal.”

“You are the only person I know who has seen me in my chip n dale costume, I think we’re past personal for today.”

“Really?”

“That was a Halloween costume from when I lived in Russia. No one has seen it.”

“In America.”

“Touché. What’s your question.” I turned to rest on my side, facing him.

“How did you lose your arm?”

“Um…I was working in the mission control center, at the time I was training to be an astronaut, and there was an accident. I don’t remember much but I was working on a machine, an engine of some sort, and I got stuck. When they got me out, the nerves in my arm were completely dead and so instead of lugging around a lifeless limb, I opted for them to remove it. That ended my time at Roscosmos.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I’m not going to lie, it was. It was really hard learning how to do things with only one arm. Luckily they paid for me to get back to America, gave me a ton of money, and I moved in with Steve. I used the money to run research on prosthetics and paid for my therapy and Steve helped me more than I could ever repay him for. Of course, for a long time after the accident I couldn’t find the motivation to do much of anything. You know, ever since I was a kid I dreamed of going into space and I went to school so that I could go to space. Then I got my shot and I lost my arm. It really knocked me off my feet.”

“I could only imagine.”

“Steve was the one who dug me out. He took me to rehab for my depression and I went back to physical therapy and at one of my therapy sessions I met this little girl who had lost her left arm, just like me, but in a car accident. And she was just so happy.

“She didn’t care that she only had one arm, she never let it bring her down or limit her. I talked to her mom about what happened and since we had the same trainer, a lot of times our sessions overlapped. She really became a huge part of my recovery. Which is why she was the second person to test the arm, I really wanted to help her, like she had helped me.”

“What’s her name?”

“Luna.”

“She sounds cute.”

“She is and she is so smart for her age. And I’m totally convinced that she’s going to rule the world someday.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well as you know every great world leader has a metal arm, so she already has a leg up.” God, did he laugh. It was kind of mesmerizing.

“I’m going to have to tell her that one.”

“I hope she likes it as much as you did. But what happened next?”

“Well, then I sat down and came up with a prosthesis, this one. And I went to everyone I knew and everyone I didn’t, trying to get the funding and facility to develop and produce this arm. And I finally found one. Tony Stark.”

“Really?” Tony Stark is a billionaire technology developer. He’s brilliant and owns pretty much the biggest company in the world. You needed anything that was advanced in the slightest, he could do it.

“Yeah. He loved my idea and he helped me produce the prototype before we made the real thing.” He gestured to his arm. “Of course with one arm, I was mostly just there to help, I couldn’t really build anything. But as soon as I got mine to work and figured out a good way to attach it, I made one for Luna. It was her I-finished-therapy present. And even though I’ve been done with my therapy for some time now, I still see her. She comes in for diagnostics checks and every now and then we have to make her a new arm; she’s growing really fast.”

As he talked I absentmindedly traced the lines on his arm. I really had no idea that I had been doing it, it was strange, but kind of relaxing at the same time.

“When word got out about the arm and how successful it was, there were so many people who tried to buy me out. But they wanted to build them and put a huge price tag on them and I didn’t want that. So we develop them in house and we try and get as many people as we can to come in and test out other limbs. And someday we hope to make them more lifelike, but for now this is what it is and it works.”

When he finished talking, he looked down at my hand and the way it traced over his arm. I quickly pulled my hand away.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just not used to—people usually don’t touch it openly. Not that people are afraid of it, but for a lot of people it’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird, I think it’s amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean you’ve managed to create something that actually resembles a human arm. I think a lot of people would enjoy a prosthesis more like this.”

“Well I hope so. I really want this to be good for a lot of people. And I’m excited to see what happens next with this.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, it is really great.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Nope only one a night.”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, you can ask me a question.”

“Why didn’t you say any of this at the interview? It sounds like you’re doing great work, I’m sure they would have loved to hear all about this.”

“I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted to get the role for me, not because they were taking pity on the one armed guy. I am proud of what I have been able to do. I have made a great living and I have over come some terrible times, and it’s only made me stronger. But I wanted to do the show so that these woman can see the real me, because I’m tired of everyone just treating me like a cripple, that or a really rich cripple.” I laughed at him.

“I can see that.”

“I bet you didn’t even notice at first that I had a metal arm.”

“Actually I was the only one who noticed. I asked the other guys about it later and everyone else thought I was seeing things. So I didn’t say anything else about it.”

“Why didn’t you ask me sooner?”

“I needed a good reason to bring it up.”

“So me taking off my shirt.”

“Yep.” Now he laughed at me.

We sat in his room and talked until it got late in the day. And when it got late he ordered us some take out and we watched some reality TV, which Bucky said was to “help with his nerves.” Honestly I think it was just so we could make fun of people.

I had so much fun with Bucky today, that I hardly realized that I really needed to go home.

“Hey, I need to head home, it’s really late.” I said.

“Oh, well thanks for coming over and helping me. I had a lot of fun today.” He walked me over to the front door.

“I did too and I’m glad that we could pick out your suit.”

“Yeah me too.”

“And don’t be nervous for filming, you’re pretty awesome. Any of the girls would be lucky to catch your eye.”

“Thanks, I guess. And I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes you will.”

“Bye Y/N.”

“Bye Bucky.”

I walked out the door, feeling better than I had in a long time. I don’t want to say that it was because of Bucky, but I would be wrong.

What was I getting myself into?

PART THREE

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanficiton #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky series #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel series #realitytv!au #a little too real #realitytv!bucky

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

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Hey guys! I’m stuck at Honda getting an oil change at the moment and I thought that the app wouldn’t mess with the format of the next installment of A Little Too Real but it did. So as soon as I get home I’m going to put it up from my computer so it’ll read right. It’s a doozy too (over 15,000 words) so get ready for a huge story with lots of fun ahead. Also I will probably be missing in action over the next few days: I’m working Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons tomorrow all day and then my sister is graduating from Dallas Baptist University on Friday. So yeah...I love you guys and I’ll be posting soon :)

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky fanfiction #a little too real #reality!tv au #realitytv!bucky #bucky au

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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago

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A Little Too Real: Epilogue

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5, Part 11, Part 11.5, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

Pairing : Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 16,355

A/N: Well...THIS IS IT! This has been such an emotional rollercoaster not only for these characters but for me too. This story is about three years of my life and I’ve been putting off ending it because it’s been a really hard week, but it’s time to share a happy ending for these characters. I want to thank everyone who has read and loved this story and supported me along the way. I couldn’t have done this without you so Thank you! But without further ado, I love you guys and Enjoy! (P.S. A completed masterlist will soon be posted with links to every chapter and some fun info about the series.

Warnings: fluff, FLUFF, some sexy times and mentions of, maybe like a little angst but not really?, drinking, talk of drinking and being drunk, fluff?, I think that’s it, fluff

ONE YEAR LATER

Y/N’S POV

I tried my hardest to sleep on the flight and yet my nerves and the time difference didn’t make it easy.

This being my first full week off in over six months, you could definitely say that I was looking forward to it. Not to mention, I hadn’t seen Bucky in about 2 months...in person that is. This tour had been hard on me, harder than the last one. But I guess it was different when you knew you had someone at home waiting for you.

But things were good with me and him. The distance definitely put a strain on our relationship, but we knew that coming from spending every second together to hardly seeing each other was going to be hard. This realization hit pretty early on.

After the crew watch, Bucky and I had about two weeks together before I had to leave again. But like I had told him before, I had Monday off, so he took me to the hospital to FINALLY get my cast off and then to our redo first date...it was perfect and then we went on the date...I’m kidding of course. The date was everything I could have ever expected and more, he really pulled out all the stops. Not to mention he was there the next morning when I opened my eyes, which was the only thing I had been nervous about.

He was also there for the opening night of the show, that next Tuesday, which he absolutely loved. We got to walk the “red carpet” beforehand, he got to watch the show, and then we got to go to the after party together. But the best part of the night was that we got to tell everyone that we were together, that we were a couple and that we loved each other.

Yet, the real world came knocking the following Monday morning, and we couldn’t keep pushing off our inevitable flights. I was headed to Boston first and he was going back to LA.

So over the next couple of months we Skyped at least once a week, talked almost every night, and texted probably way too much. But we had decided early on that even if it was just a fast call, that it was important to hear each other’s voices, that even if the text was good morning or goodnight, at least it was an easy way to feel connected to each other. The Skype date, though, was the most important out of all, this was not rescheduled or missed and was usually on Mondays because I was always and he had gotten them off too, so that there was no way we missed our date. It was nice that way.

There was one Monday where Tony called him in to work, but the whole time he worked we were on our date. It was pretty fun that way because we liked to mess with Tony and make him feel bad that he had messed up our Skype date. But I had to admit it was nice to see Tony and I actually got to see a little bit of what Bucky was working on with this latest update of the arm.

A lot of times we ended up talking about things that I didn’t understand but the way he spoke about his work just made me smile, because I could see how happy it made him. And ever since Tony had hired him on full time, now that he was done with the show, he seemed to be a lot happier. It really gave him the time to start exploring updates for the arm and he even began reaching out to other people about different limbs. Which I knew he had been excited about because he had been pushing to do projects like this even before we started dating.

But this also meant that he spent a lot of time traveling like me. Where I was going to a new city every week or two, he spent a lot of time going back and forth between New York and LA, so did Tony. Fortunately this made me feel less guilty about having a place in New York when I wasn’t living there. I let friends stay there when they were in town or on vacation and whenever Bucky and Tony were there they were more than happy for an apartment over a hotel room.

And then my first break came and God if I wasn’t excited for it. Bucky was in LA at the time so I stayed at his apartment and we had a million wedding type activities to do with Peggy and Steve, seeing as this was the first time that I had been able to get more than one day off. Peggy, Steve, Wanda (who got engaged to Vision on their one year anniversary), Vision, Bucky and I had all had multiple Skype calls to discuss wedding details, before the break, but once my one week hit there seemed to be an explosion of wedding stuff to do.

We had another engagement party, just a small event for the close friends that Peggy’s parents hadn’t thought to invite and other family members, like Bucky’s mom, who hadn’t been able to make the first party. We had a bridal shower where Steve and Peggy got a butt load of new stuff, mostly things for the kitchen and money from her family in the UK. We went to three different bridal salons both for Peggy’s dress and for the bridesmaid dresses. Then the following day I went to Steve’s morning suit fitting as well as Bucky and Michael’s, no matter how awkward that was, don’t even get me started. And even on top of all the wedding things, I still had a couple of days to spend completely alone with Bucky.

Then it was back on the road for me.

But it wasn’t nearly as bad this time around. Bucky and I had gotten used to our routine so that wasn’t hard to pick up again and being in Austin my first week back after the break, at the venue where this all started, felt almost like home in a sense. I got to talk to the people who I worked with before, I got to talk to some of my old theatre teachers, and I got to have a stress free week. It was just so nice to not have to worry about dressers that I didn’t know, in a theatre I had never been in, and a city that I knew nothing about. It was a great first week back because of it. It was the other five-ish months that were difficult.

I grew to miss Bucky a little more everyday. We still had our calls and texts but it was harder after having spent a whole week seeing him, to suddenly see him so little. Not to mention, on top of working seven to nine shows a week, it depended on the city, I was helping Peggy plan her wedding. That meant that I was usually on a Skype call with Peggy, her mom, the wedding planner, and Wanda, picking out flowers, invitations, cake design, caterers, a band/or DJ, and pretty much everything else that was aesthetics and essential for a wedding. Of course, we also talked about the guest list, which was very long, when to put in fittings for the dresses, per my expertise, who to book for hair and makeup, which airline to use for flights, and anything else that I probably would have never thought of. It was all a little overwhelming.

So as the next couple of months passed this became the new routine. Talking to Bucky, talking to Peggy and her wedding planning committee, and then working a lot of shows, while I bounced around from city to city. You could say that as the less and less sleep I got the more I started to regret taking this job.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved this show. I loved the people I worked with and the musical itself was something that I surprisingly never got tired of...but like I said, it was hard to be away from the people I loved.

So when I hit my next week long break it was off to the UK for me. Two months since seeing Bucky, six months since seeing Peggy, Steve, Wanda and Vision (who so easily joined our friend group and became just as essential), and my first time ever being in the UK, it was a little crazy. And I was exhausted.

I wanted to try and sleep a little more than I did on the flight but, I don’t know, being in the air made it hard. I was also overthinking EVERYTHING.

Where would I have to go to get my luggage, would I take a taxi to Peggy’s parent’s home or would I just go straight to the venue, would she be there to pick me up or would someone else be there, and when would I see Bucky?

So with all of that to think of, sleep didn’t come so easy.

But when I heard that we were starting our descent into Heathrow, I perked up a bit. I was beyond excited to get off this plane and I knew that at the very least I wasn’t but an hour from seeing Bucky again.

So we landed and everyone on the plane grabbed their things. I had one small carry on which had my bridesmaid dress in it, I did the alterations myself seeing as it was too difficult to get a fitting in while I was stopped in one of the cities, and an outfit or two, just in case my luggage was lost. That was another thing I thought about too.

But for now I focused on getting off the plane and into the airport.

I waited in line to get off and made my way inside the airport and through the gate. Already I could feel a little bit of the stress that I had been thinking about on the flight. But like I did with every other airport I had been to, I followed the signs to baggage claim and I waited for my other bag to come out. As I stood there and watched all the other passengers get their bag I started to feel a little worried that mine wasn’t going to come out. But before I had the chance to investigate further, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and as soon as my eyes registered what they were seeing, I felt two very different things. One was relief because out of my peripheral vision I could see my luggage, and the second was complete excitement because standing before me was Bucky.

I dropped my bag, immediately jumped into his arms, and kissed him senseless. I didn’t care about the people around us or the fact that Steve and Peggy both were standing behind us, I just focused everything on Bucky and the fact that I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever, hadn’t actually felt him in just as long. When he pulled away, I just wrapped him in my arms, not quite ready to let go of him.

“I missed you so much.” I whispered in his ear.

“I missed you too.” He said back to me, not letting me go, but setting me back on the ground.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” I kissed him one more time before actually letting him go. I picked up my bag from the floor and handed it to Bucky before going over to Steve and Peggy, giving them hugs too.

“Our hello wasn’t nearly as good as Bucky’s.” Peggy said to me sarcastically mid hug.

“I guess I should have said hello to you first then?” I asked, moving to Steve for a hug.

“Nah, I guess boyfriends can be greeted first.” I laughed at the two of them and then we headed out of the airport.

In the car, Steve and Peggy were in front and Bucky and I were in back, and as much as I wanted to talk to Bucky and catch up with him, it was hard to when I was so curious about the city and all of the things to see. Luckily he caught on and started to give me fun facts about the city and all of the things that he recognized from when he lived here.

And then about an hour later we pulled into a driveway which led to a beautiful, very old and traditional home. Out front stood Peggy’s parents along with one other person who I hadn’t met. Being the gentleman that he was, Bucky opened my door for me and assisted me out of the car before grabbing my luggage. As he did that, I went over and greeted Peggy’s parents and they introduced me to Mrs. Langdon, the housekeeper. And by housekeeper I mean the head honcho of the place, at least on the female side, and by that I mean they had a full staff for this house, which astounded me. Honestly when I thought the Carters had money, I didn’t think it would be so much that they were practically Downton Abbey, but they pretty much were.

Anyway, Mrs. Langdon gave me a tour of the “estate” as she called it and eventually brought me to my shared room with Bucky, where he was already waiting for me.

I spent a little time getting settled in, unpacked some of my stuff, took my bridesmaid dress out of my bag, and sooner than expected I had passed out next to Bucky on the bed. We may have done something else before passing out but no one else needed to know about that.

But back to the wedding...Over the next couple of days we did a lot of different things. We had hair and makeup appointments with our team so that we could finalize our wedding looks; the boys went and got proper haircuts. Steve and Peggy finalized the head count which pretty much finished everything with the caterers and vendors. We finished making the playlists for the DJ and we went over the music for the band one more time. I went ahead and steamed or pressed everyone’s dresses, suits, trousers, and shirts, at the least I knew that Peggy’s dress would need the time to completely dry, so it was good I did it ahead of time. And then we got to the last two days before the “big day.”

So, with the aroma of a hangover lingering in the thoughts of my future, I woke up to the day of Peggy’s bachelorette party. We had decided to give us a day between the bachelorette party and the wedding because I knew that Peggy would want to go kind of crazy and we didn’t really want to feel un-functionally terrible the day of her wedding. So with that in mind, Wanda and I had to do a lot of research on amazing places to go and things to do...in a country that we had never been to before. Easy, right?

But anyway, we decided to start the day off slow and gradually build up to the crazy-drunk night that Peggy had imagined her bachelorette party being. So we let her sleep in a bit, went out for Brunch at her favorite cafe, got mani/pedis, and then went shopping for a look to go out on the town in.

We were searching through the racks of a dress store in the city and Peggy peeked through the dresses to where I was looking on the other side of her rack.

“So when are you and Bucky getting hitched?”

“Haven’t I answered this question enough for you?” I responded, pulling a dress out and laying it over my arm.

“I’m going to keep asking until it happens. You know that right?” Wanda just laughed at us.

“And I will always give you the same answer. When he asks you’ll probably be amongst the first to know. Not that it’ll happen anytime soon but…”

“What makes you think it won’t? You two have been together longer than Wanda and Vision have and they’re already engaged.”

“First, that’s not true. We were friends when those two started dating. And second—”

“Friends.” They both said and put in air quotes. I ignored it.

“Second...I’m still on tour for another six months. It would be impractical to try and plan a wedding in the middle of tour madness. We hardly get to see each other as it is, but could you imagine me showing up to bridal shower or an engagement party after not having seen him in months.”

“Are you trying to say that your reunion would be too inappropriate? Just get a room beforehand and it’ll be fine.” Wanda finally chimed in.

“I’ll even fix you hair for you before the party.” Peggy said.

“You guys are so embarrassing. I’m just saying that I’m not sure it’s going to happen anytime soon. I would be excited if it did happen, we talk about getting married and we try and make plans, but it just isn’t in the immediate future. Right now I have the tour and he has his newest project with Tony, not to mention the actual reason we are here in a dress store right now. We should be really focused on your wedding.”

“I’m just talking shop. I’m pretty sure that’s what we’re supposed to do at these bachelorette parties.”

“You may have a small point, but let’s talk about wedding things. What about you Wanda, what’s happening with your planning?”

Directing the attention away from me was exactly what we needed to get this dress shopping back on track. The wedding planning sped things up believe it or not, not only did the three of us find a look for tonight, Wanda a beautiful red velvet dress, Peggy a gorgeous white jumpsuit , and for me a stunning pants/tank combo, but now Peggy wanted to stop by a bridal salon and have Wanda try on some wedding dresses. I mean, when would she ever have another chance to try on gowns that hadn’t been made in America?

So, of course, we had to Skype with her twin brother, Pietro, he was technically the only family she had left and he had practically threatened us about getting to help pick out the dress. She ended up falling in love with one but decided that she would have to come back later to figure out the logistics of ordering it and getting it back to LA. And as any best friend would, I offered to do the alterations as soon as the tour was over, to help offset the costs, which she was relieved to hear.

After we were done at the bridal salon, we quickly stepped in to a shoe store, Peggy telling us that we obviously needed new shoes to go with our new dresses; it was crazy how much I had bought for this wedding, it was a never ending shopping spree. We had even purchased a bride-to-be sash for Peggy to wear out, which she absolutely loved. But anyway, with shoes and dresses in hand, we went back to the hotel room we got for the night and started to get ready for the crazy part of the night. And with hair done up, makeup sponged on, dresses in place, and shoes strapped up we made our way to dinner.

Peggy chose this nice restaurant that apparently Steve had actually shown her while he was living in London and helping take care of Bucky after his accident. And knowing how well Steve treats Peggy, the place definitely lived up to his standards. Everything was delicious and even though the place was nicer than most restaurants it was actually really nice to experience a piece of their relationship that was so simple and down to earth. But with dinner soon done and plenty left to do tonight, we left the restaurant.

The funniest thing about Peggy’s idea for a bachelorette party, was definitely the research materials she used to give us ideas. Mostly from movies, her ideal party was definitely out of line for the Peggy we had come to know and love. Of course, Wanda and I had to veto a lot because we had concluded pretty early on that some of things listed were things that the three of us would never be comfortable with; for instance, like going to a strip club. But one that we stuck with, because at the very least it was the most harmless out of the ideas, was going out to a nightclub. We weren’t entirely sure if she would like this place, but we had a back up if she didn’t.

Peggy, much like Steve and Bucky, was an old soul. And despite the pop/modern music they played at the parties they hosted, it wasn’t ever too loud that you couldn’t hear what the other people were saying. Which was exactly the case when we stepped foot into this club.

There was a DJ at the front of the room playing some song that we had never heard of and the dance floor was packed with people jumping around, poorly dancing and even some obscene couples. But ignoring that, Peggy pulled us over to the bar and ordered each of us a drink to kick off the idealized night.

We sat at the bar for maybe a few minutes before a group of guys, seeing Peggy’s sash, dragged us over to their table. They were all very nice to us, they asked us about our boyfriends and we asked about theirs, which struck up some great conversations. We even, bravely, got up and danced for a bit and the guys bought us drinks...way too many drinks. After awhile I cut myself off because I was already feeling pretty out of it and it wasn’t even eleven. That and I was also getting sleepy and alcohol would only make that worse. So when we were done dancing and back at our table I hung out with Peggy and Wanda and the guys, but I think they were catching on to just how tired I was starting to become.

Peggy came and plopped down next to me, very ungracefully climbing over anyone who was in her way, Wanda following very stably.

“You’re not having fun.” She slurred.

“What? Of course I am!”

“You’ve been staring at the wall for like five minutes.” Wanda said.

“It’s not because I’m not having fun.”

“What else could it be?” Peggy got closer to me.

“Well...the time difference has really messed with me and I get sleepy when I’m tipsy, you can ask Bucky. And for some reason I really want some tacos. Do they serve tacos here? Like good street tacos, not like Jack-in-the-box tacos, but like good authentic street tacos?”

“I’m not sure if they serve those here.” Wanda decided, not really seeing any food around here.

“But you’re lucky I picked some up along the way.” I heard from behind me and turned to see Bucky standing there with a bag of food in hand. “You’re also lucky that I know you so well.” He handed me the bag of food and I pulled him down closer to me so I could kiss him.

“What are you doing here?” He walked around and sat down beside me, both Wanda and Peggy going to talk to Vision and Steve.

“Peggy is...very drunk and she’s been texting Steve all night, he was worried about her.”

“Well it’s sweet of you guys to come and hang out with us, didn’t mean to spoil your night.”

“Seeing our girls could never spoil the night, not that I’m saying we weren’t having fun. We had the whole day away from each other, so why not spend the night together?”

“I like that.”

So for the next couple of hours we danced and we talked with the guys who were all very jealous of just how stunning our boyfriends were. Bucky and I didn’t do any more drinking and as the night went on I got out of my little funk and had a great night.

Peggy and Steve, though, were the first to bow out. She was definitely drunk and Steve was ready to take her back to the hotel. But as soon as the bride and groom were gone it was a gradual departure for the rest of our group. Vision, Wanda, Bucky and I all went back to the hotel but had to get separate rooms since we had only gotten one for the night; a King size bed would have fit three girls, not six people. We didn’t really get into our room until three in the morning but after that I’m pretty sure it was the fastest I had ever fallen asleep.

The following morning...I wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought I was going to be. But Bucky and I had had a plan to keep the both of us from getting too sick. The trick: vodka and you know what’s interesting about vodka...it’s clear...like water. And with Peggy so out of it, she never caught on to the fact that Bucky and I weren’t wasted.

I just didn’t want any of this weekend to be tainted by being sick, or blacking out, or even a hangover. And honestly I kind of figured that Peggy would feel the same but then again the pressure she was under from her family and the wedding planner alone and add on top of it all living at home during all of this, would probably make me drink that much too… if I had any of that I mean.

But anyway, because the only thing we had to do today was greet the guests who were staying at the castle and have dinner with Peggy’s family, Bucky and I got to spend the day together; apparently they don’t do rehearsals for weddings in the UK or like a big family rehearsal dinner. It was really important to me to have a day like this because I needed to spend as much time with him as I could before I had to go back on the road.

So we started the morning off with Breakfast and then Bucky showed me around London like a proper tourist. We saw everything that anyone would see if they took a week long vacation in London.

We stopped at every London landmark, taking countless pictures, and just enjoying our time alone together. He really treated me like a princess, making sure that I had an absolutely amazing day. And it was...a perfect day with the perfect man; I couldn’t have asked for anything more. So with a good mood set for the day we headed over to the venue.

Out of every single detail selected for the wedding, the venue was by far the most insane and the most extravagant. And by extravagant I mean that they were getting married in a castle... A CASTLE! Talk about a literal dream come true. From what I was told, the place had been completely rented out for the entire weekend, so if that wasn’t a huge reminder of just how rich the Carter’s were, then I don’t know what else would have been.

But with the castle being about 2 hours from where we were, and us being about 2 and half hours from when Peggy wanted us to meet downstairs so that we could start greeting people, I decided to do my makeup in the car and then Bucky and I would just change once we got into our room. The only problem with my plan had been Bucky thinking he was funny when he swerved the car on purpose, obviously trying to mess me up; he thought he was so cute. He’s just lucky that the end of my eyeliner was far enough away from me that it didn’t do nearly as much damage as it could have; I had a little mark on my cheek that I had to fix. He got a pretty good laugh anyway, but I had the rest of the drive to think of a proper payback.

About thirty minutes after Bucky’s prank, we pulled up in front of this gorgeous castle, absolutely picturesque, and ogled just a moment before a few people, who I could only assume worked there, came and grabbed our things from the car, parked the car for us, showed us to our room and then left us alone.

With little time left until we had to meet up with Steve, Peggy, Wanda, and Michael, Bucky went into the bathroom first and I took my dress and Bucky’s suit out of their garment bags, giving them a quick glance over for any wrinkles. When I couldn’t find anything too major, I went ahead and tried to do something with my hair, not really having the time to do too much to it.

Yet, Bucky had had plenty of time to shower and dry his hair, so when he came out of the bathroom, he was looking as handsome as ever and I thought that maybe now was a good time to get back at him.

So I was sitting on the bed looking at him and he walked over to his bag, going to grab clean clothes to change into. He easily caught on to me.

“See something you like?” He said, smiling at me.

“I don’t know, I guess it would depend on what you would do if I said yes.”

“Y/N...you are playing with fire…”

“What are you going to do about it?” He made his way across the room, dropping the clothes that were in his hands, and grabbing me in his arms before kissing me hard.

It’s been a little over a year since our first kiss and yet he still had that way of kissing me that just made me melt in his arms, physically and emotionally swoon. Yes, I was trying to get payback for earlier but where I had planned to tease him all night and make him regret messing with me, this plan was now seriously backfiring against my will to say no to him.

And as it usually did, the kiss developed a lot further than just a kiss. He was already naked from the shower and he was making quick work of the clothes I had been wearing. He just made me feel as if I was the only person in the world that mattered, like time completely disappeared when he kissed me, like we had no where else to be. Which actually did remind me that we had somewhere to be.

His lips moved down to my neck giving me, most likely, the only chance to interrupt this and get downstairs on time.

“Bucky…” I tried to stop him.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” His lips on my skin felt like Heaven, a heaven I really didn’t want to ignore, but...

“Oh God, Bucky we can’t do this.” He pulled away from me and looked at me, his lips only an inch away from mine.

“Do you want me to stop?” I had wanted to get payback for what he did earlier...but I also missed him so much over the past two months that I never wanted him to stop.

“No.” I closed the inch between us and pulled him closer to me. He took full advantage of this and kissed me as if he was seeing me for the first time all week; kissing him like this made the whole world fall away.

That is until we heard the knock at the door.

“I don’t want to particularly know, but I think I can guess what you two are doing in there, and guests are going to get here any second, so..." We heard Steve say outside our door.

Bucky fell beside me on the bed, letting me sit up and take a second to re-adjust the little that I still had on. I got off the bed first and went over to where our clothes were hanging. Bucky groaned before he too got off the bed, grabbing his boxers from the floor and putting them on, and then came over to get dressed. I took the dress off my hanger and slipped it over my head, then turned to Bucky so that he could zip it up. As he buttoned up his shirt and put on his pants, I tied his tie for him and as I fixed my lipstick, he put on his tie and jacket. Last, we both sat on the bed and put on our shoes, Bucky, obviously, taking a little longer than me. When we were ready to leave the room, he grabbed my hand and leaned down to give me one last kiss.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you.”

We made our way to the door and opened it to see Steve standing there waiting for us. Bucky let me out first, like the gentleman he was, and yet he glared at Steve the whole time.

“Perfect timing as ever Steve.”

“You knew what time you needed to be downstairs.”

He walked off in front of us and we followed after him, letting him lead us through the castle, back downstairs. As we walked though, Bucky let go of my hand and walked behind me, trying his best to apparently smooth out my hair that he had messed up, something that I had missed earlier when we were getting ready.

Not being too far away from where everyone else was, we joined the group quickly, beating the first guest. Bucky grabbed my hand again, standing in line next to Wanda, Peggy and Steve, Michael was on the far side, as far away as he could be from me.

(Side note: at the bridal shower we had thrown for Peggy and Steve, Michael volunteered to come over from London to bring the Carter family gifts. Somehow he thought it was a good idea to kiss me, “because he was still in love with me,” which resulted in Bucky punching him. Bucky was just being civil now for Peggy’s sake, but he really hated Michael...so we both just kept our distance from him...as much as possible.)

Anyway, the first guest to arrive was actually Peggy’s grandmother and grandfather and a few other members after that, but seeing all of Peggy’s family actually made me kind of sad. Not because Peggy’s family was here, they were great and loved seeing Peggy and Steve right as they arrived, but because Steve didn’t have anyone. Everything that I had been told about Steve’s family was simple, his mother and father had both passed, they were both only children, and Steve was an only child. I didn’t know anything about his grandparents but apparently, neither did he. He seemed okay though about having only Peggy’s family at the wedding, he would always do anything for her. It just made me sad not to see anyone there for him.

And yet, a few minutes later, unexpectedly, Winnie walked in. She went to Steve first and I just watched how incredibly happy he was. Bucky and Steve had grown up together, they had practically been brothers and when Steve’s dad died, it was Bucky’s mom who helped his mom out and the same when Bucky’s dad died. And when Steve’s mom got sick and died, it was Winnie, Bucky, and Peggy who had helped him through. So I could see how much it meant to him that she came for the wedding.

After she said hi to Steve and Peggy, she came over to Bucky and I.

“Hi mom.” He said, giving her a big hug.

“My baby! You look so handsome.”

“You can thank Y/N for this one, she knows how to make me look my best.”

“Y/N.” She came over to me and gave me an even bigger hug, didn’t think that was possible.

“Hi Winnie. I had no idea you were coming, but I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I know. Peggy called me and asked if there was any way I could make it. She said that she knew that it was a long way for me to come but that it would mean a lot to Steve, so of course I had to come.”

“If we had known you were coming, we would have come and picked you up.”

“Yeah mom, we absolutely would have picked you up.”

“You guys are so sweet, but I didn’t want to interrupt your week together by making you pick me up from the airport. I know you crazy kids haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“Well, either way I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too.”

His mom went off with some of the other guests and we finished greeting whoever came in. Later when we walked throughout the house we saw that tea had been served and that we were pretty much stuck in a modern picture of Downton Abbey. Bucky and I liked to just wander around the room, tea cups in hand, and listen in on how Peggy’s family talked to each other. It was really just like an episode of Downton Abbey, except it was 2019.

And then we went to dinner. This wasn’t anything official for the wedding, it was just dinner. But coming from America where it was normal to have a rehearsal dinner it kind of felt like that but there wasn’t really any official talk about the wedding.

The food was amazing though. There were a lot of different courses, appetizers I had never tried before, a main course that was cooked to perfection, and dessert that was so decadent that I almost didn’t want to eat it.

Later Bucky and I were sitting on a couch in the main room, while Peggy and Steve were off somewhere, probably talking to her family.

“Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for today.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything. Showing you around London was my pleasure.”

“I had a lot of fun.”

“I did too.” He leaned down and gave me a kiss, not too long but long enough for his mom to come over to us and interrupt.

“You two are just the cutest; perfectly made for each other.”

“Thanks mom. It’s honestly all Y/N, she brings out the best in me.”

“And he’s the perfect gentleman who treats me like a queen.”

“Well I’m glad everything that I taught him has stuck.”

Sitting next to us, she asked a lot of questions about my job, what I was up to, the places I had visited and of course when the tour was over. I think she was trying to convince the two of us to get married and yet she was so indirect about it, it was kind of ingenious the way she brought it up; like an ambush but so innocent and motherly.

But as it got later Peggy and Steve started showing people to their rooms which gave Wanda, Vision, Bucky and I the perfect time to head to bed ourselves. While Bucky and I were walking to our room I texted Peggy letting her know that we were heading to bed and that she could text me if she needed anything.

I had every intention of going to bed as soon as we got in the room, Bucky...not so much. As soon as the door was shut and locked behind me he was kissing me senseless, like we hadn’t been interrupted earlier.

“I’ve been thinking about you all night.” He said between kisses, slowly backing me up towards the bed. “You just looked so beautiful in this dress.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” He smiled and laughed at the statement I had said to him earlier.

He kissed me again, this time going for the zipper on the back of my dress, I started to undo his tie and the buttons of his shirt, both of us getting completely undressed without breaking our kiss. This time when we kissed though, it wasn’t nearly as rough as it had started. There wasn’t a pressure there had been this afternoon, there wasn’t a possibility of being interrupted, nothing but him and me just so wholeheartedly loving each other. It was perfect, being with him was perfect.

And yet, the morning of the wedding came much earlier than planned. And by that I mean that Peggy snuck into our room, both Bucky and I only covered by a sheet, and woke me up before the sun was even up. She kept whispering about how we needed to get started on everything and I could obviously tell how nervous she was, but I was also naked and not in any position to talk about this without fear of flashing my best friend.

So I asked her to give me five minutes and that I would meet her out in the hallway. I wanted more than anything to snuggle back up to Bucky and sleep until at least the sun was up, but I couldn’t leave Peggy out in the hallway when she was freaking out. So I gently woke up Bucky and let him know what was happening, gave him a kiss goodbye, got dressed, and quietly walked out of the room. Peggy was pacing and Wanda was leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for me.

“What’s wrong Peggy?” I asked, stopping in front of her, making her stand still and look at me.

“There’s just so much to do and I woke up this morning with countless emails from my clients and I want to answer them but its my wedding day and I shouldn’t be thinking like a lawyer. And then I was sitting in my bed all alone and I was just thinking about things like, what if the flowers don’t get here and what if the bakers drop the cake and what if—”

“Okay, you need to stop. You’re assuming the worst possibilities because you’re stressed.” We decided that maybe we shouldn't talk in the middle of a hallway full of bedrooms where everyone was sleeping, so we walked down to Peggy’s room.

“That’s the thing, I’m not stressed—”

“Peggy do you know what time it is?” Wanda asked. We sat down on her bed.

“I wasn’t able to sleep that well.”

“Listen to me...everything is going to be fine. Despite what your mother and wedding planner have told you, today is not about the wedding, it’s about you and Steve. When you look back at this day you’re not going to think about the flowers or the cake, you’re going to think about how happy Steve made you and how grateful you are to have found someone as amazing as him. And I don’t know if this is just stress or fear or what but I think the biggest thing you’re facing right now is not being close to Steve.” I would know.

“I’ve been away from Steve for more than one night.”

“I’m sure you have been, but take it from someone whose been in a long distance relationship for over a year, when you feel lost and scared and stressed you don’t want to be alone. You don’t want to be half way across the country or even just down the hall from him when you feel like you need him, even if it’s just for a hug or to tell him how much you miss him.”

“Yeah.”

“I think that maybe when it’s a better time of day, I’ll go and talk to Steve and see if maybe we could do a little blindfolded meet up, I think it’ll help with what you’re feeling.”

“Really? That’s not breaking the rules is it?”

“No, as long as you don’t see each other it should be fine.”

“I think that’ll really help.”

“Good. So what do we need to do?”

“I think we should try and go back to sleep for a bit, I’m sorry for waking you guys up so early.”

“Well we can stay in here with you and that way you won’t feel so alone.” Wanda suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea.” I agreed.

“A mini sleepover, yeah, I would love for you guys to stay.”

So we all cuddled together in her bed and went back to sleep for a couple more hours, and when we were woken up this time, we all seemed to be in a much better mood. That is until we realized that it was Peggy’s mother and the wedding planner, who were now just in the room to talk and keep us from falling back to sleep.

They kept talking about everything we needed to do today and I could see the stress start to creep back into Peggy. So I texted Bucky, I needed to get these two together even if it was just for a minute.

Y/N: Are you awake?

BUCKY: I am

Y/N: Are you with Steve?

BUCKY: Yep

Y/N: We need to try and sneak Peggy over to see him

BUCKY: Is she okay?

Y/N: She’s just needs to see him. Trust me

BUCKY: What can I do?

Y/N: I just need you to find something to blindfold him with and I’ll let you know when we can escape her mother.

BUCKY: Okay

So as we started to get ready for the day, I looked for any chance for us to sneak off. But first we had to deal with her mom, which meant we had to play along until there was an opening. So we all took our turns showering, letting Peggy go first, and meeting up with her and the hair and makeup teams, as soon as we were done, in a bigger room down the hall. It was nice to be pampered on, to not have to worry about how I was going to do my hair or makeup, there was someone for that. Surprisingly, the longer we sat there the less stressed I felt, but I could tell that Peggy wasn’t feeling the same.

So when her mom got word of some kind of problem with the flowers, I saw the perfect chance to escape. So I texted Bucky first and asked where he was, letting him know we were on our way. I grabbed the blindfold we had and the three of us snuck down to the boy’s room, putting the blindfold on Peggy before I knocked. When I knocked, I heard some movement and we had to wait a minute before Bucky opened the door for us. The three of us obviously looked like we were getting ready, you know, we had clips in our hair and parts of our makeup done, but the boys looked like they were just lounging around...I was kind of jealous.

But anyway, Wanda and I helped Peggy into the room and over to Steve who was standing blindfolded by the bed. When she grabbed onto his arms and felt that it was him, she wrapped her arms around him and his around her, we could all see the immediate relief they felt to be close to each other again. So wanting to give them a minute, Vision, Wanda, Bucky and I went to sit on the couch on the opposite side of the room, Michael just sat in the chair in the corner of the room and ignored us; Vision should have been a groomsman but Peggy was scared that she would never hear the end of it if Michael wasn’t one, so Vision was there to hang out with the guys and help keep the peace between Bucky and Michael.

I sat next to Bucky with my legs draped over his lap and he leaned down to give me a kiss.

“Missed you this morning.” He said.

“I missed you too. Peggy was freaking out and she needed some help, I couldn’t say no to her. I’m just glad we were able to sneak over here, who knew that flowers would cause an emergency? I thought we were never going to get her mother to leave.”

“Yeah and I’m sure when they get down there and check all the flowers, they’ll find that everything is perfectly fine.” That sounded fishy to me.

“What did you do?”

“Steve was freaking out too. You presented a good idea but I knew that there had to be some way to get Amanda to leave the room…”

“You...are sneaky.”

“I would do anything for Steve and they needed to see each other.”

“Sap.”

“You’ve made me this way, loving you made me this way.”

“Then I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

We only had 10 minutes together before we had to get back to the room. I could tell that Peggy was feeling much better and looked excited to get ready and get down to the “altar.” So the ladies picked up where they left off and her mom came back into the room, claiming that everything was perfectly fine; I tried not to laugh, but I smiled at the thought of what Bucky did to help out his friends.

But as time passed and as we got closer to the start of the ceremony, I could tell that Peggy was getting a little nervous again. There wasn’t much we could do at this point but encourage her and let her know that she would see Steve soon.

Somewhere between the freaking out, getting ready, and the mimosas, we actually got to the final fifteen minutes before we were supposed to make our way to the ceremony room. So Wanda and I went ahead and got into our matching dresses and then went to help Peggy into hers.

Peggy’s dress was...stunning and absolutely special. See, when Steve’s mom got married it had been a tradition in her family to incorporate the “something blue” into the gown. Steve’s mom had had a light blue petticoat underneath her dress when she married his dad and Peggy knew that the best way to honor his mom was to continue the tradition. She took that same petticoat and asked the alterations team from her bridal shop to incorporate it into her dress, which only made the dress that much more special.

So with dresses, heels, and bouquets in place the wedding planner came in and told us that everyone was ready for us and since the ceremony was inside the castle we didn’t have to go very far. I was so excited to finally see Peggy and Steve get married, but even I had to admit that as we got closer to the ceremony space the more nervous I got. I wasn’t nervous about them or their marriage, more about the fact that I was walking down the aisle by myself.

But I pushed those feelings aside and held up Peggy’s train as we made our way down the stairs, stopping right outside the ceremony room, where Peggy’s dad waited for us (He got a little teary when he saw her in her dress, it was really cute). Despite the fact that we maybe only had a minute until we walked down the aisle, I turned to the girls and wrapped them both in my arms.

They both just laughed at me but hugged me back just as hard.

“You know, the next time we’ll hug like this you’ll be Mrs. Rogers.” I whispered.

“I know.” Peggy let go first and dabbed at her eyes, wiping a tear away before it fell.

“Let’s do this.” Wanda said and we all smiled.

The wedding planner watched as the ceremony started and then put us in our order, getting us ready to go; Peggy and Steve wanted as much of an American wedding as they could get: the only things they got were Peggy walking down the aisle last, Steve facing Peggy as she walked and an additional wedding cake to go along with the fruitcake. From where I stood, I could see that Peggy’s mom was seated in the first row to the left, Bucky’s mom in the first row to the right, Steve was standing at the end of the altar and Bucky and Michael, all three guys in gorgeous morning suits, were just now walking to their seats. I was the next one to walk down, Wanda following after me and then Peggy and her dad after her.

So as soon as the guys were seated to the right, I took in a deep breath and put all my faith in myself to not trip down the aisle. I smiled, I looked right ahead, I walked with as much grace as I could muster and then I caught Bucky looking at me with a big smile on his face. And it was as if every worry I ever had simply disappeared. I looked at him as long as I could and then I sat down next to Peggy’s mom, Wanda being beside me soon after.

And then small quartet started to play Canon in D.

Everyone stood from their seat and turned to face Peggy as she finally stepped into view. She looked even more gorgeous walking beside her dad, with the huge grin on her face and her eyes locked on Steve. I looked over at him and he was trying hard not to cry but I could see how emotional he was at seeing her in her dress. He looked up at the ceiling before she got up to him trying his best to squeeze the tears back in.

When she got up to the altar her dad moved the veil from her face and kissed her cheek, giving his official blessing with the officiant and handing her off to Steve.

He reached out for Peggy’s hands and looked at her with a brilliant smile on his face. But then he saw her dress, up close, and there was nothing holding back the tears anymore. He had to have seen the blue and it had to make him think of his mom. Seeing the free flowing tears Peggy stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, giving them a very sentimental moment before the ceremony.

“Are you okay?” She asked. Just slightly pulling away from him.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He reached up to wipe his tears and she got his other cheek. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” They both stepped just enough away from each other, taking each other’s hands again and looking to the officiant.

“Are you guys ready?” The officiant asked and they nodded.

And then the ceremony began.

“It is my great honor to welcome everyone today to the union of Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter. We are gathered to celebrate the life that these two share, to celebrate the love that they have for each other and the love that they continue to find in each other every single day. This place in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned, according to law, for the celebration of marriages. You are here to witness the joining in matrimony of Steven Grant Rogers and Margaret Elizabeth Carter. If any person present knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage, he or she should declare it now.” He stated and when no one replied with anything we directed his attention back to Steve and Peggy.

“Are you Steven Grant Rogers free, lawfully, to marry Margaret Elizabeth Carter?”

“I am.” He replied.

“Are you Margaret Elizabeth Carter free, lawfully, to marry Steven Grant Rogers?”

“I am.”

“Marriage, according to the law of this country is the union of two people, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others. Today Steven and Margaret wish to publicly affirm this commitment and offer each other the security that comes from legally binding vows, sincerely made and faithfully kept. But first I was asked by the couple to read a poem, one they believe as do I, that perfectly describes not only their relationship but their future together.” He shifted the papers in his hands.

“The Art of Marriage” by Wilferd Arlan Peterson: Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage the little things are the big things… It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.”

“This ceremony does not create a relationship, it is a symbol of how far you've come since the moment you met. It is a symbol of the promises you have and will make to each other as you grow stronger as individuals and as partners. No matter the challenges you face, you now face them together and your lives are no longer just for yourselves. You depend on one another to love, support, care, and protect you. These values and promises are not to be taken lightly and will remain with you for the rest of your lives.”

“Do you, Steven, take Margaret to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish all the day of your lives?”

“I do.”

“Do you, Margaret, take Steven to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish all the day of your lives?”

“I do.”

“The rings?”

Bucky stood from his seat and walked over to the altar, handing Steve Peggy’s ring and Peggy Steve’s ring and then returned to his seat.

“Repeat after me.” He said to Steve.

“I, Steven, give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am and all that I have, I promise to love and care for you as I accept your love now and for always.” He repeated and placed the ring on her finger. And then he moved to Peggy.

“I, Margaret, give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am and all that I have, I promise to love and care for you as I accept your love now and for always.”

“Steven and Margaret you have both made the declarations prescribed by law and have made a solemn and binding contract in the presence of your witnesses here today. It therefore gives me great pleasure to declare that you are now legally married. Steve, you may kiss the bride.”

Steve stepped closer to Peggy and wrapped his arms around her before kissing her. The whole crowd erupted in applause and I seriously doubted there was a single dry eye in the place, at least I wore waterproof makeup.

When they broke from their kiss and the clapping stopped the officiant gave his final pronouncement.

“It is my honor to introduce, for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers.”

Everyone clapped again and Steve and Peggy walked down the aisle together with Peggy’s arm laced through Steve’s. They both looked so happy that I couldn’t help but smile with them. As soon as they were out of the room, Bucky walked his mother down the aisle, followed by Peggy’s mom and dad, then Wanda and I, and last Michael.

We were told ahead of time to meet Peggy and Steve outside, where we would take some time and take photos before heading over to the reception, giving plenty of time for the rest of the party to arrive; apparently not everyone had been invited to the ceremony. So we let the photographer tell us how to pose and where to stand and who to stand by and whatever else.

Eventually we got to the point where she was done taking pictures with the family and then with the wedding party, so we all headed back to the party and gave Steve and Peggy a chance to take some individual photos and spend a little alone time together. Bucky, held my hand as Wanda, Bucky and I made our way back inside and as soon as we walked through the front doors Vision joined our group.

Walking into the reception...this space was absolutely gorgeous: tables covered in expensive linens, only the best china, elaborate centerpieces, hanging flowers, chandeliers, and candles everywhere. This is obviously where Steve and Peggy lost all decision making ability. This had Peggy’s mother written all over, not to mention the fact there had to be at least enough chairs and tables for 250 people; I wasn’t sure where the other 200 people were coming from but I wanted to go back to the small ceremony again.

Bucky and I still ventured in and found the table with our names, right next to Vision and Wanda, and sat in our chairs, waiting for Steve and Peggy to finish photos. This gave us a chance to relax from the sort of stressful morning and kind of check in with each other, especially since the four of us had kind of been separated all morning. So we talked and the guys had some funny stories about Steve getting ready and then Steve and Peggy made their entrance.

They looked just as happy before, if not more. They walked hand in hand to the middle of the dance floor and let the DJ present them to the new crowd, before joining us over at our table: Steve, Peggy, Peggy’s parents, Bucky's mom, Wanda, Vision, Michael, Bucky and I were at the front of the room looking out over the dance floor and to the guests.

It was almost simultaneously that the food began to be served. I wasn’t too sure what everything was on the plate but I recognized chicken which was delicious as was the other food I wasn’t sure about. Peggy and Steve did there best to eat properly, but I knew they were both probably starving seeing as it was a little after five and it was the first time they had eaten all day; it was tradition for the bride and groom to share their first meal of their wedding day as a married couple.

Having finished eating dinner and plates now being collected Peggy and Steve made their way over to the cake which was just as extravagant as the rest of the party. But where the big cake was all fruit cake and mostly just for the English guests who were used to eating fruitcake, Peggy and Steve had a second cake for the few Americans who were here and for the cake cutting, since it was smaller and easier to cut. If 250 people hadn’t been watching them I knew that Peggy would have tried to cover Steve’s face in cake but with her mother watching closely they both carefully placed a bite of cake in each other’s mouths, the guests applauding afterwards. Nice and proper.

After pictures had been taken of the cake cutting, servers came and started to cut and distribute the fruitcake, the few Americans at our table asking for the other. And as soon as everyone had had their piece, Steve stood from his chair and reached out his hand for Peggy to take, asking her for the first dance of the night. The band started to play Dream a Little Dream of Me, which I knew was their favorite song to dance to, and then he wrapped his arms around her and lead her into a very sweet and very simple dance.

When the song finished they helped Peggy back to her chair and then it was time for the speeches...unfortunately, Michael was up first. Being the bride’s brother, and seeing as the nature of toasting in London was actually supposed to be a roast, Michael should have had a lot of material. And he had some funny things to say, I’ll give him that. But it was when he started talking about me and about how his ex was best friends with his sister, was when it got real awkward for me and a little anger inducing for Bucky. When he finally wrapped up his speech there was an awkward clap, I’m not even sure about what happened, so I could only imagine the confusion of everyone else.

Waiting for Michael to not be in the same walkway as him, Bucky then made his way up to the mic; I know he was ready for his speech, he had rehearsed it with me multiple times over Skype.

“Hi, my name is Bucky and Steve is practically my brother. In every sense of the word he is, believe me. Brothers...they annoy you to no end, do the exact opposite of what you say just for the hell of it, and of course they give the best material for the best man’s roast, I mean speech. The first thing that you need to know about Steve is that this man that you have all fallen in love with is the exact opposite of the man that I grew up with. Yeah he’s handsome and he’s managed to snag Peggy who at the time, when they met, was way out of his league...may still be but I’ll leave that alone for now. But what none of you know is just how crazy this guy was. The biggest thing about Steve was that when we were in high school he was not nearly as handsome as he is now, sorry buddy, you’re married now so I’m allowed to say this.” Everyone laughed and he paused so they could. “Despite that he was the most loyal, most kind boy you would ever meet...which was not a hit with the ladies, I’m sure you could imagine why. And I thought for a long time on what embarrassing story to tell, it had to be something that you had never heard of but something that didn’t absolutely ruin him for you guys. So this story is actually a well kept secret, the thing that I was sworn to never repeat, a secret that has been kept since we were seniors in high school…”

“Bucky.” He stood and said, almost in a warning. Peggy pulled him back down into his chair, laughing at how defensive he was being.

“See, he’s scared so it’s perfect. But anyway, as most of the close family would know, Peggy and Steve started their relationship as friendship; they were just as close as I had been to Steve...except the tension between those two was definitely romantic where the tension between me and him was due to him stealing my comic books or something stupid like that. Anyway, as friends, the three of us were inseparable and then we got to prom season our senior year. The three of us had always gone to homecoming together, but this was the prom and you absolutely had to have a date. Peggy was the “it” girl and like I said earlier, way out of Steve’s league, and she was the date that every guy wanted. I always had the suspicion that she said no to those other guys because she was waiting for Steve, which she was, but he had it in his head that he couldn’t just ask her, he had to outshine everyone. So Peggy being asked out by the quarterback was kind of the last straw for him, the next day he came up with the ultimate ask-Peggy-to-prom plan. And this plan...It started out with flowers, the most beautiful bouquet you could imagine...and it ended with a broken arm.” There were some confused faces and a small laugh.

“I’m dead serious guys, a broken arm. So the day that Steve had planned to ask Peggy to prom was actually the best and worst day of my 18 year old life. The best because I had only waited a little over three years for him to get the courage to do it. The worst because of how it went. But our first stage was buying everything for what he wanted to do: flowers, candles, flower petals, her favorite candy, something he saw that he thought she’d like, a lot of presents, and then we went and had film developed of every single picture they had ever taken together. Once we got everything, we waited until she was out of her house, drove over and started to set up this surprise. Now obviously we couldn’t go inside, so naturally we scaled the fence and set it up in her backyard. We made a heart of rose petals, spelled out “Prom?” in candles, and had all of her gifts set out on the table. Steve was dressed in the nicest thing he owned and holding the flowers, standing behind his sign. And we must have waited for hours, and I mean literal hours, not just figuratively. The candles kept blowing out, the wind was blowing the petals all over her yard and then what I thought was the unthinkable happened, and yet it was still highly probable with Steve in the picture; he was a big klutz. But this is the fun part.”

“So he goes to light a few of the candles again, but like I said earlier, he’s a klutz, and he trips and falls on top of the ones that are still lit. Now most of them didn’t catch but there was one that did. So in a moment of pure panic he runs over to this pond that they have in their backyard, and as he is running over to stop from anymore of his shirt catching on fire, he trips again, halfway falling into this pond and breaking his arm in the process.”

There was quite a bit of laughter and everyone watched as Peggy sat across his lap, trying to keep him in his seat.

“So anyway...that happened. But back to the story. So his arm is broken, I’m trying not to laugh and yet I’m trying to help him off the ground without hurting him, and there’s now no way he can ask Peggy to prom this way; I mean I guess he could, but I wasn’t going to let him. Now this is the part that Steve doesn’t know. I’m pretty sure that what he thinks happened is that she saw the set up and came to find him. Right?” He asked Steve and he nodded. “Well I have to tell you that that is not what actually happened. I told you to go to my car and I told you that I was going to finish setting up the promposal...but that’s not what I did. And it may have been selfish but I just didn’t think that either of you deserved that. Steve, you went out of your way to prepare this romantic promposal and Peggy had waited almost four years for this moment, so Steve deserved to actually be there and Peggy deserved to be asked in person. So I, very quickly, cleaned up everything. I threw away the rose petals, the candles, and I took all the presents and flowers and put them on the front porch, minus the photos, I took those with me. But I obviously couldn’t just leave all of this with no explanation of why it was there or who left it. So I grabbed this receipt and a crayon from my pocket, don’t ask me why I had a crayon, I couldn’t even tell you, and wrote out: Come and find me? Brooklyn Hospital. Steve. I wasn’t sure what that would do, but I had to hope that these two would get some common sense and just go for it. Peggy did end up meeting us at the hospital though and Steve told her…”

Bucky stepped off the makeshift stage and came back over to our table, leaning over close to us, Steve glaring at him the whole time.

“Now Peggy...what was the excuse that he gave you?” He held out the microphone for her to answer.

“He told me that he broke his arm playing baseball with you.”

“He would say something like that wouldn’t he...if I’m being honest I couldn’t remember the excuse, so thanks for that.” He then walked back up to the stage, laughing, as was everyone else. “Anyway...I’m going to wrap up I promise. So after the excuse of the century, Steve finally asked Peggy to prom and of course she said yes and I guess the rest is history. They sat in his hospital stall as he was getting his cast put on and they looked through the photos and when they came back from the prom it was nothing but love with those two. I have to say, the moral of this story wasn’t to out this secret, it’s wasn’t too embarrass him or roast him, even though it was kind of fun to do that, it was to prove the lengths that he would go to to make Peggy happy. Him meeting her was fate and it took them three years to finally get past friendship, but I know that they’re stronger for it and will forever be perfect for each other. He’s my brother and I could never imagine him being with anyone else. So thank you for letting me come up here and talk your ear off. Steve and Peggy...I love you guys, you know that, and I totally take credit for getting you two together. Thanks everyone!”

Everyone applauded as he came around and gave Steve and Peggy each a hug before coming to sit back beside me.

“You did great.” I said to him.

“Thank you, my favorite pastime is embarrassing Steve, except this time he asked me to do it.” I laughed and leaned forward to give him a kiss.

Next up in the wedding agenda, we had the father daughter dance with Peggy and her dad, and the mother son dance with Steve and Winnie, obviously making the whole room come back to a little more of a serious note, but giving the perfect opportunity to invite people on the dance floor and to really get the party started.

There were happy, upbeat, and modern songs and there were jazzy, vintage, and slower songs, just a perfect mix given the variety of ages amongst the guests. Bucky and I danced a few times between getting drinks and eating cheeses and other assorted finger foods, I even danced with Steve, Vision, Wanda, and Peggy all individually and we did a few group dances for fun. And then we got to another slow dance and of course I let Bucky pull me away from everyone else and put the attention back on us for a second.

“Hi.” I said.

“Hey beautiful.”

“You know, I haven’t had the chance to tell you how handsome you look today.”

“Well I haven’t been able to tell you how beautiful you are.”

“That’s a lie, you told me earlier, right before the pictures.”

“Can you really blame me though, I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world.”

“Bucky…”

“What? I do.”

“Well thank you. I was trying to compliment you, but thank you.”

“Your very welcome...but you may continue complimenting me.” He was just cracking me up today. I hadn’t seen him just effortlessly happy in a long time, I missed seeing him like this.

“I just loved seeing you as I walked down the aisle...you looked so handsome and you were smiling and I felt so much love for you.”

“You have to know that I felt the same way.”

“I do. And not only do you look so handsome but I am loving the finished product of your morning suit.”

“Well, I only look this good because of you. You’re the one who made sure we all looked good, even you know who.”

“Do you want to know what my favorite part about this morning suit is?”

“I have two guesses.”

“Okay.” I smiled

“Number one: you like it...because you can’t wait to take it off of me later.” I laughed at him.

“Wasn’t exactly what I was thinking but I don’t mind where you’re going.” This time he laughed at me.

“Well it’s a good thing that that wasn’t the real answer then. Number two...you like it because my pants are high waisted and you can’t see my white shirt when I lift my hands above my head.”

I took in a deep breath, my jaw hitting the floor. “Oh my god...you know me so well.” I pulled him down and kissed him; I could feel him smile.

“Well if you had doubts before…” I laughed at him.

“Yeah, no doubts now.” I teased.

“Good.”

After we were done with our dance, Bucky grabbed my hand and walked out of the house and down to the dock overlooking the lake, claiming to want a second alone with me in a space not so loud. The scene was absolutely beautiful with the setting sun and the calming waters, it was the perfect escape from the crazy party happening inside.

We walked down to the very end and leaned against the railing, taking a moment to breath in the air and enjoy the peace and quiet.

He turned and looked at me and I leaned back against the corner of the railing, letting it support me a little more and take some of the pressure off my aching feet.

“Can I admit something?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“I missed you this week.” Curious...

“We’ve actually spent a lot of time together—”

“I know, but it’s not the same when everything we’re doing is for someone else, you know? Yeah we saw each other, and we got to be in the same room as each other but we didn’t get to really spend as much quality alone time together. It’s why I wanted to bring you out here...for just a moment.”

“Well you couldn’t have picked a better moment. It’s beautiful out here.”

“Yeah it is.” Except he was still looking right at me. Sap. I just shook my head at him. “Seeing how happy Steve and Peggy are, it made me think about us and about how much I love you. And honestly I don’t think I’ve told you that nearly enough.”

“Bucky...I know that you love me. Just because you don’t say it to me doesn’t mean that I don’t know it. And I know that I’ve made things complicated this past year—”

“You haven’t made anything complicated.”

“I’m the one who took this job.”

“That’s your dream.”

“You’re my dream.”

“And you’re mine.”

We both turned back out and looked at the water, watching the sun change it different colors.

“You know...the first thing you ever said to me was in Russian.”

“Really...I guess it was, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I remember being so nervous that day and then I walked into that room and saw that huge panel of people sitting there, watching me. The nerves had been bad before but they were worse after that, and I’m not sure if you could tell but I was about ready to walk out of there. Then they asked me about myself and I just tried my hardest not to lose it, and then you spoke. ‘Ты говоришь по-русски?’ I looked over at you and my heart leapt in my chest (You speak Russian?). You hadn’t said more than three words to me and I was completely amazed by you. You were the reason I accepted the job. You were the reason I went and said hello to everyone on set that first day, I didn’t want you to catch on that I had only come to see you. You were the reason that I did everything I did and you are still the reason I do everything I do. But the craziest part is that I'm still falling in love with you after all this time and after everything we’ve been through. There are things that I fall in love with everyday and it’s amazing. You’re just...amazing. And there’s no one else I would rather be amazed with for the rest of my life than you. Because I love you and you’re my everything. So no matter if you’re ten feet from me or 10,000 feet, I’m always going to love you.”

“Bucky…”

“I just thought you should know.”

“Well I definitely thought I knew, but it’s nice to hear it from you.” I reached up and kissed him with tears in my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close to me. God, he was just the sweetest and honestly the master of grand gestures, a pro. “I love you too, you know. I don’t think I can come up with something that sincere and wonderful on the spot, but I want you to know that I feel the same way about you.”

“Oh, no, I definitely rehearsed that.” We both laughed at each other and he let go of me, reaching for something in his jacket pocket. “I have something for you.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pulled out an envelope and put it in my hands. On the outside ‘James’ was written, in a very familiar handwriting. I looked up at him, completely shocked by what this could be. He gestured for me to open it.

“Asa gave this to me. And I think it’s a perfect time for you to read it.”

So I opened the letter and pulled out the note, a note that my father had written to Bucky before he died. I could already feel the tears in my eyes coming back, but tried to hold them back so that I could read what he wrote.

****

Dear James,

On the last day of a man's life there are quite a few things that tend to go through his mind. I thought of two things: my wife and my daughter.

I thought about how much I missed my wife and how lucky I was to know that she was waiting for me. That day I saw her face a lot, everytime I closed my eyes I saw her eyes looking right back at me, almost beckoning me in a way. And God if I didn’t want to go to her. When I had been as sick as long as I had, there just came a point where the fighting didn’t seem worth it, not when I could have stayed with her.

But I thought of Y/N and I thought of the lies that I had told her and the secrets that I had kept. With time she would forgive me for them, but if I didn’t say goodbye to her, if I didn’t tell her one last time how much I loved her, then I knew that she would never forgive me. So I called her and as a father does sometimes, I lied to her to protect her from my impending leave.

And then she asked me about you. The same man who had gone on a television show to find love and had coincidentally fallen in love off screen. The same man who cared for her and was there for her in the ways that no one had been before. The same man who is her best friend, the love of her life and her hero. And in a way, James, you are my hero too.

When I’m gone, things will be hard for her. She always believed in this idea of who her parents were, praising us for our titles and not for our actions. Her mother was a saint but never really got the chance to show Y/N the things that moms get to show their children. And I...I was the perfect idea of a father, from a distance I was everything that she was missing. But when I sent her to America, I didn’t know that her grandparents would keep her.

I want to tell you that I fought harder to bring her back, but with her mom gone and her parents wealth and my lack thereof, it seemed impossible. My life without my wife became unbearable and the medical bills just as so, not to mention I had no legal way of getting to the states, not a way that was fast anyway. So with life stacked against me, I let her go, hoping that at the very least her grandparents could give her a better life than I could.

Y/N never knew the truth and in every way all I seem to do is cause her pain, which is why I never told her about my being sick.

There are choices that we have to make in this life. We never know if they’re right and yet my mistakes and lies have somehow brought her to you. So in a way I hope they weren’t all mistakes because no matter what I did in this life, my life was always for Y/N.

But now I’m passing the baton. She loves you and she’s going to need you now more than ever. So if there’s only one thing that you ever do in this life, just make her happy. Show her the world, give her everything that she could possibly dream of, be her everything, but most importantly love her as if every day is your last. Love her and never let go.

So fall more in love with each other, learn new things about each other, grow old with each other, do the things that I never got to do with my wife. Just make sure to always love each other and everything else will be okay. I promise.

Take care of my little girl,

Your future and late father-in-law

P.S. I hope what’s in this envelope helps

****

“What’s in the—” I looked up to see Bucky down on one knee, with a ring in his hand. All air had completely left my lungs and I knew that if my face wasn’t already covered in tears, that it was now.

“I’ve had this for a little over a year now, but I’ve known for a lot longer that I was going to marry you someday. It was never a question of if, just a question of when and I can’t see a better moment than right now. So...Y/N Y/L/N will you marry me?”

Without any hesitation and with a huge smile on my face, I said, “Yes. God, yes.”

I knelt down and gave him a big kiss, holding his face in my hands and not letting go for a long time. When I pulled away, he stood up and put that gorgeous ring on my finger. And if I thought the tears had been bad before, I don’t even know what was happening now. He could see how emotional this was for me and he just pulled me into his arms and held me tight to him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing a hand on my cheek and bring me back up to look at him.

“Am I okay? I am so happy, I really am.”

“I know it’s hard not having your dad here.”

“I didn’t even know that he wrote to you. I knew that I had mentioned and told him a little about you, but that letter was just so personal, like he knew how much you meant to me.”

“Asa. After that time that he spent with us, he told him every little detail about us and he knew, he knew how much I loved you.”

“I love you so much. I can’t believe you proposed.”

“I’m so incredibly happy you said yes.”

“How could I have ever said no? You make me happier than anyone in the world.”

“You make me happy too.”

Instead of going back inside right away, we went and walked around the grounds, enjoying the sunset and the beauty of the castle. Then that curiosity from earlier was brought up.

“I’ve been thinking about something for a little while now, I wanted to talk to you about it. See, I spoke to Steve and Peggy about proposing to you and Peggy had some interesting things to say. She asked you about us getting married and you didn’t think it was good time because of the tour.”

“Well, you have to admit that it’s not. We’re practical people, we understand the busyness of our lives and we saw what Steve and Peggy went through when planning their wedding. I hardly get to see you as it is and planning a wedding, our wedding, over Skype just...it’s not something I want to do.”

“First of all, our wedding is not going to be like this wedding. It’s beautiful and has absolutely celebrated the couple that they are, but you have to admit that it’s kind of crazy. We don’t have an Amanda and we don’t nearly have as much family and where Peggy and Steve had to fight a lot for a day that was even a little bit there's, we get to choose what we want. So that’s the first thing, the second thing is that I never want you to feel guilty about taking jobs that make you happy. I know how much you love what you do, I know you love the theatre. And I’m going to be there with you every step of the way no matter what you choose to do. This proposal isn’t about us settling down and getting married, this is about me making a commitment to you, it’s about me wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care if we get married tomorrow or ten years from now. We could just go and get married in a courthouse and I would be perfectly happy. But I just want you to be happy, and I want you to stop thinking that I could ever be disappointed or upset that you took this tour. We will figure everything out, just as we have since the moment we met.”

“You’re amazing and I love you.”

“You’re amazing and I love you too.”

“I’m not ready to go back inside.”

“Then let’s not go back inside just yet.”

As the sun kept going down we just watched as the colors of the sky made everything that much more beautiful. But as you could imagine, being gone as long as we had, made a certain friend group curious. Bucky and I were sitting closer to the front entrance, they had some little concrete wall/benches, when Steve, Peggy, Vision and Wanda found us.

“You guys have been out here for a long time.” Peggy said. She was obviously the most curious out of everyone but it also seemed like she totally knew what happened.

I didn’t even say anything I just took my left hand from Bucky’s and held it up for them to see which definitely resulted in some squealing and lots of hugs. They were obviously so happy for us and in that moment I just got really emotional again. I could feel the tears in my eyes and I tried really hard to keep them in.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Bucky asked, bending down to my level and wiping a tear from my cheek.

“It’s just been such an emotional day. Earlier you gave me that letter from my dad and it really made me realize that my mom and dad will always be a part of me, but the five of you are my family. And I couldn’t imagine a better family to have.” I started to say to Bucky and then spoke to the group.

Trying to keep those tears back failed when they attacked me in a group hug; I think everyone got a little teary eyed hearing that. And being right in the middle of all of this love just reminded me of how good my life was and how lucky I was to find such wonderful people.

When we managed to stop crying, we decided that the six of us had definitely been out for too long, and headed back inside to the reception. We danced, we partied, we drank but most importantly we loved.

Somewhere amongst the partying I went and hung out with Winnie who was the most excited out of everyone that Bucky and I were engaged; I’m serious about that too. And from the get go she had so many ideas, I could tell that she had been thinking about this for some time. Bucky seeing the slight panic on my face though, and from across the room, came to rescue me, taking me back to the dance floor.

And then it got late into the night and guests started to leave, giving the perfect opportunity for Steve and Peggy to bow out for the night, needing the sleep for their flight to St. Lucia the following morning. So they walked around the room and said goodbye to everyone and then they got to me.

“So...you quit your job and didn’t tell me right?” Peggy asked. “I can’t go another six months without you.” I laughed and wrapped my arms around her.

“No I didn’t quit my job...but they did add a show stop in LA.”

“Really? Steve and I are totally coming to see the show.”

“I would expect nothing less. Have a great honeymoon.”

“I will and you enjoy being engaged.”

“I will.”

Steve was next, giving me a huge hug and telling me how happy he was to be getting a sister. And then the people who were left gave them a proper send off, with picturesque sparklers and a vintage car for them to drive off in.

After they left though, everyone sort of made their way either back to their rooms or to wherever they were staying. So Bucky and I said goodnight to Wanda and Vision and went up to our room to do a little more of a private celebration of our engagement and of course before that I had to call Asa and let him know, he was practically my dad; we decided to call friends in the morning.

And when the sun rose we got ready for our day, cleaned out our room, ate breakfast, and got on the road back to London. We had called Tony, telling him and Pepper, who had gotten remarried and were perfectly happy with each other, our wonderful news. So as a pre-pre wedding gift, he gave Bucky another week off so that we could really spend some time together. Of course I was grateful for any time I got to be with Bucky but it was nice to spend a little more time together as an engaged couple and in the same state no less.

But a decision that I cherished more than anything in the world, and thought back to frequently, was taking that job at the network. At the time it had only been a way for me to make ends meet, I needed money and they needed someone who actually knew what they were doing. And yet, I got a lot more than I ever bargained for: I got a family and I met the love of my life. But like that journey had shown me, not everything was going to be easy and there were going to be moments where I had to depend on the people in my life to help me and love me.

But most importantly it was moments like Peggy’s wedding, Wanda’s wedding, eventually my wedding and every milestone in between, that really showed me the amount of love that I had in my life, something I hadn’t thought I had before I met Bucky. So even though my friendship with Bucky seemed a little too real for Reality TV, our marriage continues to grow as we face new challenges and fall a little more in love with each other each and every day. So who needs Reality TV when you’ve got a Bucky?

****

THE END

****

Tell Me What You Think Here

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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago

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A Little Too Real (12)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5, Part 11, Part 11.5

Pairing : Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 10,375 (ish)

A/N: So I’m excited to finally get something out after my terrible bout of writer’s block. We should only have one or two parts left of this fic and then it will all be over :( But I hope that you guys are still with me and I’m sorry for the ridiculous wait. Love you guys and enjoy!

Warnings: kissing, mentions of sexy times, google translate, talk of depression (non-descriptive), break-up talk, I’m not sure what else

BUCKY’S POV

Week 9

Monday

“Guys! I don’t have anything I want to say!” I said to Steve and Peggy. Ever since I got back to LA, I’ve been getting non-stop calls from these two and when that wasn’t enough they decided that an impromptu visit would get them the answers they wanted. I had managed to avoid them all weekend, but on Monday I was not so fortunate.

“Something happened in Moscow and now Y/N is ignoring us. What did you do to her?” Peggy said.

“I—There’s—I can’t talk about what happened.”

“Then that means that something really bad happened.”

“Something bad did happen, but it’s not anything I can talk about.”

“Bucky you have always been able to talk to me, why is it different now?” Steve asked.

“It’s different because it has to do with Y/N. You guys know me better than anyone. And so you know that I would tell you what was happening if I could.”

“He does have a point there.”

“Well that’s not good enough for me. She called me and told me about you finally asking her out and then you plan literally the most perfect date, not to mention that I know what that dress looked like on her. And all of the sudden the two of you aren’t speaking to each other. How does it get to that stage?”

“Like I said...I wish I could tell you. I miss Y/N every single second of the day and there’s never a time where she’s not on my mind. I love her, but I have a reason for what I did and I wouldn’t have done what I did if it wasn’t important. Everything I do is for her.”

“If you could just tell us what’s happening—”

“I wish I could, but I can’t. And I would love to talk about this more but I need to go to work.”

“Bucky we just want to help.” Steve tried one last time.

“I know you do. This is...this is hard on me too. And I can’t talk about it, which makes it harder. I want more than anything to go and tell her what’s happening, but right this second I can’t do anything. I just need to finish the show so this can all be over and I can focus on her.”

I walked out the door then, knowing that those two would lock up when they left. I drove to work, thinking about Y/N and what I did. I’m sure there was a better way to do what I did, something that made more sense. But everything that I did was to protect her and that was my only priority at the moment.

Monday...first day of filming.

T-minus 11 days until I can see Y/N again.

Y/N’S POV

Monday

Being back in LA was not as comforting as I thought it would be. Of course, it didn’t help that I didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone or tell anyone what happened, so instead I just ignored everyone and sat in my apartment alone until Monday came around.

And then I had to go to work.

But I couldn’t see him again, so I had to use, for the first time ever, a favor that I had with the one person who probably hated me the most right now.

Y/N: I’m cashing in my no-questions-asked favor

WM: Well I’m glad to see you’re alive. You know, we’ve all been worried sick about you and you can’t even tell us that you got back or that you’re home or apparently anything.

Y/N: The favor?

WM: I regret ever giving you that

Y/N: I need you to take over the dating show

WM: The dating show?

Y/N: That was a question

WM: Unintentionally

Y/N: I need you to do this

WM: Of course I will, but if you think that you can just ask me to take over Bucky’s show and not give me a reason then you’re crazy.

Just reading his name made my heart leap

Y/N: You’re not getting a reason from me, that’s why I’m calling in the no-questions-asked favor instead of the regular favor

WM: How many favors do I owe you?

Y/N: More than you think

WM: I’m worried about you

Y/N: I’ll be fine

So that day, instead of going on the road with the rest of the crew, I went and hid away in the wardrobe room, trying my best to get everything organized and set up for once “the dating show” was done. Wanda was at the house filming when I left for the day so, I ignored another call from Peggy, I sat and ate dinner, alone, and went to bed early, crying myself to sleep...again.

Tuesday

I got into the wardrobe room early and unluckily for me Wanda was there waiting.

“I need an explanation.”

“And I need a break.”

“Y/N, I can see that something is wrong.”

“Well your eyes are working.” I went over to my table and started to clean up.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She just glared at me. “Nothing I want to talk about.”

“What did he do?”

“Who?”

“Bucky.”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“You know, He looks just as miserable as you do.”

“Good.” I mumbled under my breath, knowing for sure that she didn’t hear me.

“Then what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” I said way too quickly and way too aggressively.

“So he did do something.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because things are already hard enough! I don’t need constant texts and calls from you and Peggy! I’m not fine that’s all you need to know!” She looked at me and could definitely see that I wasn’t okay.

“I know that I don’t know what exactly you’re going through but you know I’m here for you, right? This doesn’t have to be hard.”

“I just can’t do this right now. I can’t handle all the questions and I can’t handle the way you look at me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I know that there’s been a lot happening lately, but I also know that you’re the silent grieving type. Now I don’t know what happened between you and Bucky in Moscow but I know that it can’t be easy losing a parent. So I’m going to step back and when you’re ready to talk about what happened with Bucky I’ll be here for you.”

“Thanks.”

“And I know that Peggy and I can be annoying sometimes but it’s just because we love you.”

“I know.”

“That and apparently Bucky won't tell them anything either.”

“I just need some time.”

“Well time I can give...no matter how impatient I am.”

“And pushy.”

“Now you’re just being insulting.”

“But I still love you.”

“I love you too.” She mumbled.

I went back to work and she headed out, more than likely to her flight for whichever girl’s families he was supposed to meet first. I had dodged a bullet, I always loved Wanda for having my back, but it didn’t lessen the hurt in my heart. I wasn’t sure anyone could fix that.

BUCKY’S POV

Tuesday

With filming done at the house for now, it was off to a new a place.

I didn’t see Y/N at all yesterday and Wanda looked like she wanted to murder me, so I assumed that Y/N wasn’t coming to shooting anymore. That being said the crew and I left pretty late for our flight, accompanied by Malia, whose dad lived in Seattle.

It wouldn’t be a long flight, only at about 3 hours, but sitting in a plane next to one of the crew members, luckily, I didn’t have to put too much effort into putting up my charade, which made everything a lot more tolerable.

I had never been to Seattle before and despite the fact that I was going to be “pinning” after another woman, I was actually kind of excited for a distraction from what was happening.

After the initial phone call, I had done everything in my power to avoid Y/N. She was already in my every thought and she was ignoring me, so so far everything was going to plan. I just needed to make it to next week, I needed to finish the show. So I had to believe that being in a city that I had never been to before, would provide the perfect distraction from...everything. That is until I spot the cameras.

When we landed I grabbed my carry on and followed the crew out of the plane, all the while they filmed mine and Malia’s every move. Most everyone had just the one bag they needed for the four days that we would be traveling but we had to stop briefly for Malia’s bag at baggage claim, seeing that she wouldn’t be back in for filming again until next Wednesday.

Malia’s father met us at baggage claim shortly after we found her bag, doing a proper introduction. There was definitely a clear resemblance between the two and after her mom left them it must have been a great relief for Malia to be so unlike her.

Her father showed us over to his car, where I placed both of our bags in the trunk before opening the door for her and letting her slide in first. The crew climbed into a van parked behind us and then we got on the road.

The drive to Malia’s house was about an hour and went through the heart of the city. So instead of going straight to the house we decided to stop in downtown and do some basic touristy things: Space Needle, Chihuly Garden and Glass, which I hadn’t know was a thing, and even had a little time to stop in at Pike Place Market after our dinner at their favorite restaurant. It made for an eventful day. I got to see a beautiful city, look at some of the best artwork, and experience a new place that I had never been to before. And despite all of that, I couldn’t help but want to show Y/N all of it and see her smile as she saw how beautiful it was. A few times I had tried to talk to Wanda, I guess just wanting to have someone to talk to about all of this, since I couldn’t talk to Y/N, but she pretty much ignored me everytime I tried.

As we finally called it a day and headed back to her home, her dad spoke more about the city and about how he and Malia had come to live in Seattle. And then he pulled up to their home. It was sort of hidden in from the main street, surrounded by trees and yet still close to their neighbors. It was a beautiful house, unusually big for just two people and yet according to her father quite small at only 3 bedrooms.

As we made it inside, her father grabbed our bags from the trunk and Malia quickly dragged me inside to give a tour, and as usual the cameras were there. The house on the inside was just as beautiful as the outside, with basic but updated features, you could tell it had been recently cleaned, and kind of like her father lived here alone, which I guess he did. To me it appeared strange that the house was so bare. There weren’t too many pictures of the two and despite Malia having shown me pictures of her mother, there was no peep of her mother anywhere. Nonetheless the place was great, just a little un-homey to me.

Malia showed me to the guest bedroom which had a great view of the backyard which was big and surrounded by trees, creating a natural fenced in area. Also on the ground floor, next to the guest room was the kitchen and living room, which I had seen right when I walked in.

She showed me downstairs next, which automatically made me feel a little better. Both the master and the second bedroom were on this basement level and between the two was a small living space with a loveseat, chair, and entertainment system. It became very evident that this was the main living space as there were more pictures and just a little more life than what I had seen upstairs.

As soon as the tour was done her father met us downstairs with Malia’s bag, and just like that the night had ended. The camera crew left for their hotel and promised to be back in the morning, I went back upstairs and quickly fell asleep, not needing more than my head to hit the soft pillow for me to be out.

T-minus 10 days until I can see Y/N again.

Wednesday

I woke up the next morning, actually feeling as if I had gotten some sleep. Her dad had made us breakfast and the half day that we would spend here today would pretty much just be me and Malia...and the crew of course.

But she had made things...kind of hard. Don’t get me wrong I liked Malia, she made it this far for a reason, but she kind of did the exact opposite of what I expected. The whole point of today had been to have her show me who she was, show me where she grew up and how she became the person she was today. When in reality I spent the whole day going around her town meeting people that she had grown up with and being shown off, as if she had already won. It made me feel very uneasy that this side of her, one where she cared so much about what people thought of her, was coming out so late in the show. What else did I not know?

After I thought we had met the last of the entire neighborhood, I took Malia out to lunch, to a little place that I had spotted last night driving in. I should have known better than to expect anything different though. We were shown over to a table and as soon as we sat it was as if the whole place wanted to meet me and while we ordered, ate, and paid I didn’t spend any time talking to Malia, her too busy talking to whoever had joined us at the moment.

Later when we got back to the house I packed up my things and got ready for the next flight. Malia had offered for her and her dad to drive me to the airport but I insisted that she spend as much time with her dad as possible, not really being in the mood to try and carry a conversation with her after a day like today.

And so, with my things in the trunk, me and the crew headed back to the airport. We had had a little bit of time to wait around but I got to walk around, grab some coffee, and I even grabbed a couple of postcards so I could give them to Steve, Peggy, and Y/N when this whole mess blew over. When we finally got to board our flight I found my seat and unfortunately for Wanda, she had to sit next to me. We sat in silence for a bit, I not being sure about what exactly was safe to talk to her about, but knowing that I needed to, otherwise I would explode.

“I have a reason.” I said randomly.

“It’s not good enough.”

“I love her and I would have given everything to stay with her, but I’m thinking about her and I’m not good for her right now.”

“That’s bull and you know it.”

“I don’t really have the choice.” I said a little slower hoping she would catch on to something. I stared at her hoping for some kind of response.

“She trusted you to be there for her—”

“I left her a note asking her to trust me. I need you to trust me too.” Something clicked this time.

“Something’s happened...hasn’t it?” She whispered, making sure none of the other crew members would hear.

“I’m not allowed to say.” I whispered back.

“Is she in trouble?”

“Not anymore.”

“But you can’t tell me anything?”

“I can’t tell anyone.”

“How long before you tell her?”

“Next Friday.”

“Next Friday is the last day of the show.” I didn’t respond after that. She got the idea and now I just needed her to tell Y/N and hopefully she would forgive me when I saw her again.

That or I would have to come up with another plan.

T-minus 9 days until I see Y/N again.

Y/N’S POV

Wednesday

It was another day. Another very long day.

Wake up.

Get ready.

Go to work.

Go home.

The worst part of it all though, was how lonely it was.

And yet instead of calling my friends and just telling them what was going on I watched a sad movie and got all the tears I had been holding in, out of my system.

And of course, I thought of him...a lot.

Thursday

As easy, yet as terrible, as it was to hold everything inside, I was going crazy from not telling anyone about what happened. But I couldn’t tell Peggy what happened because she was Bucky’s friend first and I couldn’t tell Wanda because she still had to work with Bucky. Normally I would call my dad and without him here...the person I went to for everything was Bucky and I obviously couldn’t do that.

The one person I had left...I had to believe that he would be on my side.

I knocked on the door of his very big house and waited for him to answer, but it wasn’t him.

“Is Tony here?” I asked.

“Yeah, let me go get him.”

So I stood in the living room as the woman left to go find Tony. Weirdly enough I was actually kind of nervous, but I wasn’t sure I would make it through the rest of the show if I didn’t get this off my chest. I was pacing in the living room when he came in.

“Hey, Y/N.” I turned to face him and he wrapped me in a hug. “I heard about your dad, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“But I’m pretty sure that that’s not why you’re here.”

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“How about we sit?” The woman said and we moved over to the couch.

“Y/N, you’ve met Pepper right?”

“This is Pepper?”

“According to Tony, I have you to thank for knocking some sense into him.”

“You two are back together?”

“We’re working on it.”

“Well I’m happy for you guys, I could only wish to be so lucky apparently.”

“I think we need to know what happened.” Pepper said.

“What did he do?” Tony asked. Placing a pillow in his lap and letting me rest my head on top.

“He...I fell in love with him. I let myself believe that he loved me too. I was fooled, duped, played. And now I feel like I can’t breath or eat or sleep because I’ve lost a piece of me.”

“What did he do?”

“He was there for me after my dad died. He came to the funeral and made me feel as if everything was going to be alright. He took me out on the most perfect date. He gave me the best day of my life and showed me what love was really like. But worst of all, he was my best friend. He took care of me, he protected me, he fooled me into loving him. And then left me. I mean, I’m not stupid right? There was something there.”

“You two are crazy about each other.”

“Then what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then what could have happened? I am rattling my brain for some kind of explanation. That day...those dates felt like something more than just a one day kind of thing. He said and...did things that meant more.”

“Tell us about the date, maybe something happened.” Pepper said.

“I have gone over everything a million times...it was a perfect day. He made me breakfast in bed, took me to Roscosmos, and we met up with his friend Sam who gave us a tour of the headquarters. Then we went out for coffee with Sam before we headed back to my house.”

“Did anything weird happen while he was there? Sometimes confronting your past can be hard and he always wanted to be an astronaut, it couldn’t have been easy for him to be back there.” Tony asked.

“He was happy. He didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, nothing upset him, he was glad to be back, even if it was just for a little while.”

“What happened after?” Pepper said, trying to get me to continue.

“We went back to my house after that and got ready for the next part of the date. I had this really great dress that Peggy bought for me as a bridesmaid gift and he was wearing this navy suit...he looked really handsome. But anyway, he took me to this jazz club and we had drinks and ate dinner and he danced with me, he requested my favorite song...it was nothing I had expected, it was a perfect date.”

“And?”

“And what?” They didn’t need to know everything right?

“It didn’t end there right?” She knew, women always knew.

“The blush tells you everything.” Tony cut in, pointing at my cheeks.

“You guys are so embarrassing.” I covered my face with my hands.

“How was it?” Pepper asked.

“I can’t tell you that!”

And they kept badgering me until I couldn’t take it anymore and walked out onto the patio, putting some space between me and then.

Despite having wanted to talk to someone about all of this it still hurt like hell to think about how good everything was. I missed him. I missed the way he would walk really close to me, so that our hands would touch accidentally. I missed the way he would smile at me when he caught me looking at him, and ignore the fact that I had been looking at him. I missed talking to him about every little thought on my mind, even the thoughts and ideas that made no sense whatsoever. I missed the way he used to hold me when I laid next to him in bed. But most of all I missed the feeling of being completely loved by someone else because I knew that my feelings for him weren’t going to go away anytime soon.

“Are you okay?” I heard coming from behind me. I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks and turned to look back at Tony.

“Sure.”

“That doesn’t sound okay.”

“I just...I came here looking...looking to hide away I guess.”

“From what?”

“It’s...that’s something he used to say when things got tough. You know, we would go and hide away from everything.”

“Did he give you a reason?”

“For leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Then he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I can’t even remember what my life was like before his interview.”

“I get that.”

“I just thought that talking to you would help because maybe you wouldn’t be on his side. I know that Peggy and Steve are and I can’t tell Wanda what’s happening because she works with him everyday. Normally I would talk to my dad, but...I can’t. I’m just not really sure what to do.”

“When Pepper left me, it was the hardest thing that I went through. She had been this huge part of my life, she was my best friend. All of the sudden I had to learn how to live without her.”

“What did you do?”

“Well at first I tried to blame her, I tried to make it seem like it wasn’t my fault. And then I went through this crazy partying phase where I drank too much and looked for ways to make the day disappear. And when that didn’t help the depression kicked in so I dove back in to my work looking for a distraction. But it took me too long to realize that the reason she left, was me. I had always been a workaholic and it got worse when I got the prosthetic project. I worked through the night, never left the office, and then the fame followed. It became easier for me to talk to someone else at work about what was happening. It became easier to dive back into my work when we were fighting. It became easier...to ignore her and it should have never gotten that far. So when I was done being crazy and depressed and whatever, and when I finally realized that this whole situation had been my fault, I had to spend a lot of time with my feelings. There was a reason she left now, and I had to find a way to be better, not to fix things with her, but to prove that that person wasn’t me anymore, even if she never took me back. What I had to realize was that I may have messed up the best thing I ever had and with time I would come to live through the pain I created. I had to learn to live without her so that maybe one day I would deserve to be happy again. And no matter what happened as long as she was happy, I knew that I would be fine.”

“You were willing to give her up?”

“Yes. I had become someone I didn’t recognize. When I finally realized what I had done, it was too late to try and explain to her what had happened. So instead of trying to make excuses and blame something else for what happened, I decided to let her go so that she could be happy.”

“Do you think I should let him go?”

“I think that you need to talk to someone who knows you and him a little better. I can tell you to leave him and that you deserve better but I’m not the one who knows the both of you best. And I don’t think that Steve and Peggy are automatically going to be on his side.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re they’re friend too. And I don’t think you should make anything final without really talking to Barnes first. There may be a reason, one that could easily fix things. Don’t give up on something good if you don’t have to.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t stay too much longer after that. He tried to get me to stay and watch a movie with them but like he said, I needed to sit with my feelings and maybe I would gather up the courage to actually go and see Peggy and Steve.

BUCKY’S POV

Thursday

We arrived in Hawaii pretty late, too late to go and meet up with Ulani and her parents; they would meet us at the hotel in the afternoon. So getting into our hotel rooms, which I didn’t have to share with anyone, was a blessing after our long flight. And yet the idea of sleeping alone... again...sucked. I was really missing Y/N.

I woke up the next morning still feeling tired after the shift in time, trying multiple times to go back to sleep until a reasonable hour came around and not having much luck. So instead I got ready for the day, went downstairs for some breakfast and snuck away from the rest of the crew, just wanting to spend some time by myself. So I walked around the island, I did a little window shopping, picking out some souvenirs for everyone and ate some Hawaiian delicacies before heading to the beach. I just put on my shades, put in my headphones and sat in the sand, watching the waves hit the beach over and over again. It was calming and a very welcome distraction. Except for every now and then I would see people looking at me, well not at me, but at my arm and for a second I would think back to Y/N and how she never looked at me in that way, how easily she had accepted that it was a part of me.

But when enough time passed I got the phone call from the director, telling me that I needed to come back to the hotel. I had my towel wrapped around my neck and my t-shirt in my hands, having used the hot weather and the sun to hopefully dry myself off a little more before putting my t-shirt back on. I needed to get back to the hotel and take a shower before meeting Ulani’s parents and maybe even have a enough time to grab Wanda and ask her to iron my shirt for dinner tonight.

I walked into the hotel and started making my way over to the elevators when I was stopped by one of the crew members and was ushered over to Ulani and her parents. I could see their expressions as I was moved to stand in front of them and I very quickly put my t-shirt back on before apologizing. They did the polite thing and told me that they saw it a lot living in Hawaii, but I could see that they were uncomfortable with my arm and that made me feel unwelcome.

And despite that, the cameras started to roll and we did the first introductions and like before I acted like everything was okay when I knew it wasn’t.

No matter what happened, I could tell from speaking with them further that they were good people, there daughter being a spitting image of them. The thing that I liked about Ulani so much was her kindness and her ability to be herself when things got too dramatic with the other girls. She stood out basically because she never stood out. At another time in my life I would have liked to believe that I would have dated her on my own. And meeting her parents and having them think that she had found someone to love only made me feel worse than I already felt.

Her parents seemed excited to meet me, though, after the initial shock of my arm and even gave me a traditional leis, an official greeting to the island, since they weren’t able to meet me at the airport. And instead of doing the touristy things, seeing that I had already done some sightseeing, after I was properly bathed, dressed, and had packed up my things, the three of them took me to their house.

The drive to Malia’s childhood home was beautiful as anyone would expect of Hawaii. Her parents talked excitedly about things happening in their neighborhood and gave me a few stories about what Malia was like growing up. And then they pulled up in front of this beautiful house.

It was smaller than the other ones we had passed, but surrounded by trees and with the noise of the ocean in the background, their home stood out by far. The house itself was triangular with high vaulted ceilings, white wood walls, and dark hardwood floors. This house was stunning in every way no matter how small. Malia being an only child the only other members of her family to meet were her two dogs who immediately welcomed all the added attention of myself and the crew.

So the rest of the day consisted of settling in to the guest bedroom, walking along the beach with Ulani and eating a traditional Hawaiian meal at a luau, all the while putting on a carefully planned out ruse on my part. It was exhausting.

Spending the day with these cameras on me, watching my every move with a woman that I didn’t love, probably hurting her in the process, made it hard to go to sleep that night. And even though it was just one more night I couldn’t help but feel so completely homesick. I wanted to talk to my friends about what was going on, I wanted to see Y/N, kiss her, hold her, I wanted to be done with the show.

So I spent a lot of time that night going through my phone, looking at pictures and text messages with Y/N and just praying that next week would go by much faster than it was currently moving. I missed her...I missed her a lot.

T-minus 8 days until I see Y/N again.

Friday

The following morning was supposed to be my day with Ulaini, you know showing me where she grew up. But this morning I got a little unexpected surprise and not a bad one at all.

“Hey James? Can I talk to you for a second?” Ulani asked.

“Yeah, Sure.” I looked at her, waiting for her to talk.

“In private?” She looked at the crew members around and knew that she didn’t want this recorded.

“Yeah, did you have somewhere in mind?” Then she came up with a brilliant escape plan, keeping everyone from noticing that we had ever left at all. We walked some ways away from her house, but being so close to the ocean she had the perfect little sea cliff hiding spot for us to sit on, and one with an incredible view at that. She sat down first and I followed behind, both of us looking out at the waves and I waiting for her to say what she needed to say.

“I need your help.” She started. I liked Ulani, I considered her a friend no matter what and if she needed my help who was I to say no.

“Okay.”

“But I may offend you.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t love you.”

“Okay.” I was confused now.

“And I know that you don’t love me.”

“Well….” She wasn’t supposed to know.

“And it’s okay. I’ve seen you with Y/N.”

“But how does this help you.” I gave in, I guess admitting that she was right.

“I think that I have a way to help each other out.”

“I’m not sure I know where you’re going with this.”

“I have also...fallen in love with one of the crew members.”

“Really?”

“And I know, and you probably know too, that the crew contracts don’t allow for coworkers to date.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But there is also a slight issue when it comes to our contracts.”

“With what? I had my lawyer go through it and as soon as the show is over I should be in the clear to see anyone I want.”

“I know that in my contract it says that as soon as I’m eliminated or if I win, the contract is complete.”

“Right, but in my contract it doesn’t ever say that I have to choose someone.”

“But you wouldn’t be completing the contract.”

“What?”

“Okay, so I’ve been thinking. What happens if you don’t choose anyone, contractually?”

“Nothing, the shows over.”

“Not quite. It leaves a hole, essentially, in the contract which can give the network the possibility of sequels.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“I’m not. I went over my contract and it’s permanently finished if either of us end up with someone or if we lose.”

“But they can’t just make us do another show if I don’t choose someone.”

“There’s nothing that says they can’t. If we get eliminated we’re done. If we’re chosen we’re done. But there is nothing in our contract that tells us what happens if nothing happens. And then we would technically still have the contract which leaves the network with people who are still contracted.”

“Which means that we would still be working for them.”

“Which means we still can’t date coworkers.”

“What are you suggesting then?”

“We complete the contract.”

“So I choose someone.”

“You choose me.”

“But if you’re eliminated, you’re free and you—”

“If I win, our contracts will be done and you don’t have to explain to me that you’re in love with someone else. We end our contracts and we get to go off with the people we actually love.”

“Does Malia know about this?”

“No, she actually really likes you. But if you choose me you won’t have to explain to her what we already know.”

“You know, if you had told me sooner I would have eliminated you, I would have been sad to see you go but you deserve to be happy.”

“You would have been sad?”

“Yeah. There’s no drama with you.” She laughed at me and I couldn’t help but laugh too. It felt nice to laugh again. “So do I know this coworker?”

“Yeah you do.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Um...her name is Diana.”

“Props Diana?”

“Yeah?” She looked shocked though.

“What?”

“I just didn’t expect you to react that way.”

“React what way?”

“You know...”

“Because you’re bi? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Well I’m glad you think so.”

“Are you happy?”

“With her...Yeah.”

“Then that’s all that should matter.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course. You know, I may not love you but I still do care about you. I knew from our first date that you would probably win if I was going to pick anyone. Out of everyone I thought that you were the most like someone I would date in real life.”

“Funny enough, I don’t think I ever would have dated you if I met you out in the real world.” I just laughed.

“Why’s that?”

“The last boyfriend I had...he wasn’t so nice when I told him that I was bi. I knew it well before I met him but I just didn’t think about telling him right away. Ever since then I’ve just had more luck with dating women, not that there’s anything against men; you’re just too attractive honestly.” I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard.” The last time probably being with Y/N. “I’m sure it had been something Y/N said.” I said a little more sad.

“Why do you sound sad by that?”

“I haven’t seen Y/N since Moscow.”

“Why?”

“I can’t really say...legally.”

“A gag order?”

“Yeah. They wanted to put her through more...stuff and she doesn’t deserve that, so I did the only thing they offered so that I could be with her again.”

“They made you break up with her.”

“If you consider one date being together than yeah.”

“You guys have only been on one date?”

“It took us a long time to step out of the friend zone.”

“You guys just always seemed like more, and I’m talking like the whole time.”

“What you guys didn’t see was that Y/N and I met long before the show started. And I was scared that my feelings for her were too strong especially when I was about to go on this dating show. There were a few times I wanted to quit and my friends told me otherwise, but they didn’t know how I felt about Y/N, they just assumed I was scared.”

“How did you two meet?”

“She was at my interview for the show. When I first walked in the room, I was so nervous, everyone was looking at me except for her. She was staring down at this notepad, kind of like she was doodling, then I got to stand in front of everyone...and she looked up at me. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. So I introduced myself and they asked me to take a seat. I started telling them about myself and I don’t know what brought me to say that I spoke Russian and Romanian, I guess I just wanted to impress her, you know? And yet the next thing I know she’s speaking to me in Russian, trying to prove that I wasn’t lying. And then I’m talking about how I used to work at Roscosmos and she got really excited because her and her dad had loved Roscosmos. But everything after the interview was just...easy and it’s crazy to think of it in that way because of everything that’s happened but for me it wasn’t ever hard to just be there for her. I didn’t always have the right things to say or did the right things but being with her was really the best thing I could give. And being by her side and seeing just how amazing she was made me fall in love with her.”

“That’s really romantic.”

“How did you and Diana meet?”

“Well...I met her, technically, on the first day of filming. She was walking around the house straightening up things and I thought she was cute, but I kind of had the same thought as you, you know, that I was on this show to see if I would fall in love with you. But as the first weeks passed by and I kept seeing her around it got harder for me to ignore that she was a little more than cute. So I started talking to her, just little things like how was her day and that I liked the shirt she was wearing. Then it turned into her pointing something out that she had spotted on the show and those longer conversations turned into texts and calls. We had been dancing around each other when by that point we knew that there was something there. And out of nowhere she finally asked if I was into girls, she was so nervous, it was cute, and instead of answering her I just kissed her. I just felt so strongly about her that I didn’t feel the need to hide it and we’ve been dating ever since.”

“Honestly, I wish I had done that with Y/N sooner. And yet somehow I don’t regret having been her friend first.”

“I don’t either, even if we were friends shorter than you guys were. One thing I am sad about though…”

“What’s that?”

“She’s here in Hawaii with us and I can’t introduce her to my parents. I don’t really get to fly out here that often and it would have been the perfect opportunity to come out to them.”

“They don’t know?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sure the right time will come again.”

“Yeah.”

We stared out at the waves for a little while longer but eventually had to go back to the house, where the crew had been looking for us.

We could only film a few more things before the crew and myself had to leave for the airport; we visited her high school, went to the beach...again, and finally stopped for lunch. The day, unlike what had happened with Malia, was actually good and I was happy that she didn’t try to introduce me to everyone on the island.

The flight back to LA wasn’t nearly as long as the flight from Seattle, I still got home later than I would have liked but I had a lot of time to think on the plane and I came up with a plan.

T-minus 0 days until I see Y/N again

Y/N’S POV

Friday

I got home relatively early from work and quickly made a batch of small pies before heading over. I drove my car in complete silence not really being in the mood to sing along to whatever overplayed radio song. When I pulled up in front of their apartment I sat for a minute, trying my best to collect some last minute bravery to face them. And then I made my way over to their door, knocking as quietly as I could in the hopes they wouldn’t hear.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” I said as soon as the door opened and before me was Peggy with an unhappy look on her face. I held out the plate of pies as a peace offering.

“I’m not sure what exactly I should be mad at. Maybe the fact that you've ignored me all week or the fact that you won't tell me what’s going on, or maybe it’s-”

“Hey Y/N.” Steve moved in front of Peggy, grabbed the pies, handed them to her, ultimately stopping her rant, and wrapped me in his arms. Feeling the familiarity of friends, no matter their anger at me, gave me relief, and made me cry.

Steve could feel my sobs and because of it he held me tighter, not even caring that we were standing on their front porch. “I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said, not saying it because of anything in particular, just saying it because he was upset that I was upset.

“I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to talk to you guys all week, I just...I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.” I said finally having pulled away from Steve, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

“Wouldn’t want to see you?” He asked shuffling the three of us inside.

“You guys were his friends first.” I said, sitting down on the couch, both of them following suit.

“Y/N…”

“You’re crazy if you think we’d choose which friends to be there for based on something like that.” Peggy said.

“Yeah, if you need us, we’re here for you.”

“Not to mention the fact that he was the one who did this to you, of course we’re going to be on your side.”

“I don't want you to be mad at him.” I said.

“You don’t want us to?” Peggy asked.

“The funny part of all of this is that I’m not really even mad at him. I’m confused and I’m hurt, but I would never be mad at him because I love him...you know?”

“Yeah.” Steve agreed.

“So what happened, obviously the date went well.”

“Obviously?” I asked.

“I saw you in that dress, remember?”

“Yeah...It was a perfect date.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And…?”

“I’m not giving details.”

“So something happened?”

“You two are setting me up just like Tony and Pepper did.”

“They set you up to admit that you and Bucky slept together?”

“Yes.” As soon as I answered their question I knew I had messed up. They became a trying-their-hardest-not-to-smile mess and there was nothing I could do to stop it. “Fine get it out of your system.”

You know when you haven’t seen your best friend in a really long time and when you do get to see each other again, there’s like a lot of squealing and hugging. It was like that with those two, except a whole lot worse. I just sat there and let them get it all out and when they finally caught on that I wasn’t responding to anything, they stopped.

“Sorry.” Peggy said and they both stopped the crazy show that was happening.

“I didn’t come to talk about that.”

“We know.” Steve said.

“I’m just so confused. One second everything was perfect and the next thing I know I haven’t seen him in a week.”

“So the date was perfect, the after was perfect and then he was gone in the morning?”

“Right.”

“Something must have happened while you were sleeping.” Peggy suggested.

“Yeah but what? Everything was completely okay before we went to sleep and he didn’t mention anything before.”

“It may not be something you immediately think of. So, let’s think about what we do know.” Steve cut in.

“Like?”

“Like we know that the both of you are in love with each other.” Peggy said.

“And?”

“We know that a long time ago he decided not to choose anyone on the show.”

“Right. But guys...there’s something I haven’t shown you, I’m not sure if it’ll help but...”

I pulled the letter out of my pocket and looked at it, feeling a little of the heart break all over again.

“He left this on my bedside table before he left.” I handed it over to Peggy and Steve moved closer to her so that he could read.

“Y/N, I can’t begin to tell you how amazing last night was, I would have given anything to stay in that moment forever. You deserve so much more than what’s been dealt to you and ever since the moment I met you, I’ve wanted to be by your side. I wanted to watch you take on the world, I wanted to be the person who told you that everything was alright and make it true, I wanted to hide away with you every chance that we got. I wanted so many things with you, for you, that I got too caught up in the moment and because of that I can’t be with you right now. I wish I could explain to you what’s happened, God knows I’ve told you everything since the moment we met, and yet I can’t put you through this, not after everything you’ve been through. I know you're going to hate me but I have to hope that one day you’ll forgive me and, once this blows over, maybe give me a chance to show you why we belong together. I wish more than anything to be with you one day but if all we had was last night than I’m grateful that I even got one night to be with you. If I do get to be with you again, I look forward to making this up to you. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Love, Bucky.” Steve read out loud, which was then followed by a huge silence.

“Is it me or was that the most romantic and non-terrible break up ever?” Peggy finally pointed out.

“Isn’t it annoying?” I asked.

“Yeah, I see why you’re so confused.”

“And not that angry.”

“I mean, he said all these wonderful things and he made it seem like this temporary thing. I don’t know whether to be mad at him or sad or happy. I just...I don’t know. Which is somehow worse.”

“Yeah…”

“But it does raise a question.” Steve said.

“What?”

“‘I’ll see you in a couple of weeks?’ He obviously has something planned.”

“Is anything supposed to be happening in a couple of weeks from the time he left the note?”

“He doesn’t know about it.” I mumbled.

“What?” Peggy asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, what are you talking about?” There was a long pause, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell them or not, but then again I did come to them for help.

“I resigned.”

“What?!” They both said at the same time.

“My last day is next Friday.”

“You quit because of him?”

“Yes and no. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to see him and not feel completely broken up over him leaving. But this whole thing with him, with the show, made me realize that I wasn’t even living in the real world. They call that reality tv...when it’s all fake. Everything was fake and I fell in love with theatre, with portraying something real, not fooling people into thinking something is real. Working for the network was only supposed to be temporary, it was a way for me to save up some money so I could do what I wanted. I don’t have that problem anymore and I need to get back to reality, back to how I started.”

“What you have with Bucky is real.”

“Yeah, which makes this pain real.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I have...something lined up.”

“Like what?” Saved by the bell, or the knock I guess, we all turned and looked at the front door.

“That must be the pizza we ordered.” Steve said, moving from the couch.

“Let me get it, it’s the least I can do.” I offered, moving off the couch and in front of him.

“You’re out of a job.” Peggy pointed out.

“And I still have $25 million to my name.”

“What?!” They both said at the same time...again. I think that was the first time all week that I genuinely laughed. I could feel the smile on my face as I opened the door...and I could feel it fall a few seconds later.

We both just stared at each other as if there was nothing to say despite all the questions I had. After what seemed like forever he finally spoke.

“Hi.” Was all he said...that was all he had to say?!

My heart was telling me to say something to him, to ask him what happened, to get the answers that I needed. My head was thinking something completely different.

Before I could even register what was happening I had slapped him hard across the face followed by a slam of the door.

“Did you just slap the pizza man?” Peggy asked.

“No.”

“Oh...you take him, I’ll take her?” She said to Steve.

“Yeah.”

“No, I want to talk to him.”

“You just slapped him.”

“I was angrier than I thought.” I opened the door before they could stop me and moved out of the way so he could come in. “I’m not apologizing.”

“I deserved it.”

There was an awkward silence that followed and I just watched him, not really wanting to look away but not really wanting to look at him either.

“Well, this awkward silence is awesome and all but is there a reason you stopped by Bucky?” Steve asked.

“I just didn’t want to sit at my apartment all alone, but I can leave, you guys were probably doing something.”

“You can swing by tomorrow.”

“That sounds good.” He turned to leave, but I couldn’t just let him leave.

“Bucky, wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Why now?”

“What?”

“You used to tell me everything, we’ve always trusted one another. So why now, why this secret?” He looked at me with sad eyes, eyes that looked like he wanted to tell me and yet when he opened his mouth nothing came out. “You can’t tell me, can you?” I feel like I looked pretty sad, which seemed to catch his attention. He moved closer to me and placed his hands on both sides of my cheeks, holding me like he used to.

“I really want to, It’s been killing me. It’s like I’ve...I’ve been gagged, you know. I can want to say everything that I’ve been holding back and yet I can’t. Я хочу вернуться в Москву. Я хочу, чтобы все вернулось к тому, как это было. (I want to go back to Moscow. I want everything back to how it was.)

“Я также.” (Me too.)

And then as he usually does, he did the unexpected. When he left me alone in Moscow I had always assumed that I had done something to turn him away from me. And then the more I thought about the note the more confused I got, wondering why it seemed like a temporary pause in our relationship. And yet I had always assumed that we could tell each other anything, and if he couldn’t tell me what was happening now then something must have changed, right? So the very last thing I expected him to do was kiss me.

As much as I didn’t want to give in to him, I could feel myself physically sink against him and relax into the kiss. After not having seen him for a week, I couldn’t help but take this moment and remember exactly the way that he made me feel before he left. It was easy for me to love him, I just wasn’t sure how easy it would be to forget him, or even if I wanted to. There were so many thoughts going through my head, that I was never going to get him out.

He pulled away from me, holding me for just a second more before letting me go completely.

“I’ll see you soon.” He said before he left. I watched the door until my brain caught up with what happened, despite not understanding it at all. I turned around to face Steve and Peggy with a confused look on my face.

“Please tell me that you guys just saw that.”

“Yeah, why?” Steve said.

“I wanted to make sure I didn’t dream that.”

“No, that happened.”

“You guys are so cute together!” Peggy said way to excited.

“Well I’m glad you think so, because I’m just more confused.”

“I think I can help there.”

“How?”

“I think I know what’s happening.”

“What?”

“Something funny happened when he was talking to you.”

“Like?”

“When he was talking about being gagged, he looked at me.”

“He looked at you?” Steve asked.

“Yeah.”

“I noticed that too. I couldn’t see where exactly he was looking but he looked away from me when he said that.”

“So I have a theory, one that would make a lot of sense.”

“Okay.”

“A gag order.”

“Okay?”

“A gag order prevents lawyers, witnesses, and other people involved in a lawsuit from giving information to media sources or an unauthorized third party.”

“But what lawsuit? There’s nothing going on that would involve him.”

“Nothing on your grandmother or Jackson’s lawsuits?”

“Not that I know of. I mean he punched Jackson, but I don’t think anything happened after that that would cause a lawsuit.”

“Okay…”

“What about his contract? It’s the only other legal thing I could think of.”

“I didn’t see anything in his contract that he had violated or would give cause to a lawsuit. But…”

“But what?”

“You have a contract with the network right?”

“Of course.”

“Then maybe it’s your contract that’s the problem.”

“My contract?”

“The whole point of the dating show is for him to date the other women on the show, or coworkers. So in his contract there can’t be anything that prohibits him from seeing coworkers when that’s the whole plot of the show.”

“Right.”

“But your contract could have the clause just like most other workplaces.”

“Okay, so let’s say that this is possible. First there’s no proof that Bucky and I have been anything more than friends. Second can they bring a lawsuit against me because I decided to date a coworker?”

“Yes and no. No if all they had was a suspicion. Yes, if they have proof and you’ve given reason to.”

“Given reason to?”

“Caused them problems, cost them money. For instance, let’s say that Jackson decided to charge Bucky with assault charges for that punch. Because it happened on network property it would technically be up to the network to cover the legal fees, which can stack up. They could say that because the two of you were together it caused Bucky to be reckless. They can twist things however they want if they have proof.”

“The gag order?”

“You and Bucky aren’t married so lawyers could use him against you. The gag order keeps him from telling you anything. And him keeping his distance from you could help prove to the network that you weren’t seeing each other and not give them the grounds for a lawsuit.”

“So would this ever end?”

“There is a way.”

“What?”

“He has to choose someone on the show.”

“Great.”

“The one thing that always threw me off about his contract was that there was never anything that stated what would happen if he didn’t complete the show, like if he quit for instance.”

“How is that bad?”

“It leaves a loophole, a pretty good one for the network. See, if he doesn’t finish the show it leaves a hole in the contract that could allow the network to set up other shows for him to be on, as well as the two remaining girls. The contract is completely fulfilled when he chooses a girl on the show.”

“And he won’t be a coworker anymore.”

“Which means if he decides to see you after the show is over then they can’t hang that over your head.”

“A couple of weeks, the letter said a couple of weeks, like when the show is over.”

“And you’ll be done with the network.”

“So if this is true...and that’s a big if, you think I should wait this out?”

“I think he has a reason for what he did and I think that he loves you. And if he says a couple of weeks then maybe hear him out in a couple of weeks.”

“In all of the years that I’ve known Bucky, him leaving like he did was the most out of character thing he had ever done. And I know how much he loves you, so waiting for the show to be over and waiting for him to explain, is the least you could ever give for a lifetime of happiness. Some people never meet the person that they’re supposed to be with for the rest of their lives. So if all you have to do is wait a week to be with him, then I say wait.” Steve chipped in, saying something for the first time in a while.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” They both asked.

“Okay.” I could feel the smile on my face just thinking about it. One week. It seemed that I had waited my whole life to be with him, so I could do one more week.

With the rest of the night we watched movies and finally got our pizza. Steve ran out and bought us some ice cream and for the first time since Bucky left me alone in Moscow, I had a really great night.

PART THIRTEEN

Tell Me What You Think Here

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

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Mid day reblog :)

A Little Too Real (10.5)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 6275

A/N: Guys! I moved to Colorado!!! Everything is so crazy and I feel like the most unhealthy person on the whole planet (#its the altitude) but so far its good. And it took some time for me to get my new computer cord (I left it at home in Texas), which is why this is being posted after so long even though it’s been done since Sunday. Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, goggle translate, mentions of death, mentions of illness, funeral talk, angst

Week 7 (Continued)

Moscow, Russia

Wednesday

Y/N’S POV

I had fallen asleep in my parents room, just needing something familiar to wake up to, a photo of my mom and dad holding me as a baby, resting on the bedside table. I opened my eyes not to the peaceful sound of the empty house but to the clanking of objects down in the living room below.

I crept downstairs as discreetly as possible not wanting to spook the unwelcome guest before calling the cops.

I peeked into the room to actually see someone very familiar and not technically an unwelcome guest, no matter my confusion.

“Asa?” I called out.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He looked completely spooked.

“What do you mean, what am I doing here? This is my house.”

“You’re supposed to be in LA.”

“You’re supposed to be in New York

“Actually I was called here.”

“So was I.”

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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago

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A Little Too Real (11)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 6100

A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July, I unfortunately am in the middle of a burn ban in Colorado which meant no fireworks for this Texas Gal. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this much awaited for chapter and I love you guys!

Warnings: google translate, fluff, angst, kissing, I honestly don’t know what else

Y/N’S POV

Week 8

The weekend had come and gone just a quick as the week had. I spent most of my time indoors, talking to Bucky and going through things in the house, but I was in such a terrible mood that I couldn’t have been fun to hang around. And yet somehow he was still there. And God was he there.

It wasn’t that he was trying to do anything or make a play but he would do these things that would drive me absolutely crazy. He would always stand close to me, hold my hand, wrap me in his arms, you know, intimate comforting things.

But as life would have it, Monday came and with that came work.

“You should stay here.” Bucky tried to reason with me. He was standing in the doorway of the closet, shirtless, trying to pick something to wear. I was resting up against the headrest of the bed trying my hardest to convince Bucky and myself that I was good enough to go to work, that and staring at him.

After the funeral I had had so much going on, that it was easy to forget about everything that had happened between the two of us. So now having a bit of time to screw my head back on, the thing that was really bothering me now was the fact that Bucky and I hadn’t had the chance to talk about everything that had happened between us over the past couple of days. I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to follow my dad’s advice and not wait to be with him. But even though I was in a better place than I had been it was as if there was still a hazy film on everything.

I didn’t want to start a relationship with Bucky when everything in my life had been so shaken up. And yet lately when was that not my life.

So instead I just watched him, memorizing every part of him and letting him comfort me. And that was how my Monday started.

I was drawn back to reality when Bucky asked me some question, not getting a response from me.

“Y/N?” He asked this time, coming to sit beside me on the bed, now with a shirt on.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Are you okay?”

“I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”

“Well if you’re going to come to work with me, you should probably get ready.”

“Yeah.”

So I got out of bed and got in the shower, not taking too much time but not really being in the mood to go fast. And Bucky was very patient with me because of it.

I got dressed in some of the only black clothes that I had left, knowing that I would need to conjure up the energy to do laundry, before Bucky helped me into my heavy winter coat and then out to the car, with all of my gifted food in tow. But for now, as we drove to the makeshift studio, we sat in silence listening to the foreign music on the radio and, I don’t know about him, but I was thinking about him and how I wish that instead of going to work, we were running away and that all of our feelings were known and that nothing was confusing. When in reality it was quite the opposite.

Bucky pulled into the lot where they told us we could park and we carried in as much food as we could, getting some help from some of our crew who had been in the parking lot. We dropped off the food at the tent where lunch would be served and then Bucky and I broke off.

He went to the makeup/hair trailer so that he could start getting ready and I moved about the set answering any questions I could and translating when needed.

I tried my hardest to stay positive, to keep my feelings in check, but as the day got later it became harder the longer I stayed away from Bucky. I don’t know, he just did something that always made me feel better and when I didn’t see him I didn’t feel better. Of course, It didn’t help that I kept thinking about him with these other girls and I tried my hardest not to be jealous, but I just couldn’t push that thought out of my mind

I couldn’t do normal things without thinking about him, I couldn’t even speak Russian sometimes without wondering how he said things or just wondering how it sounded coming from his lips. And then there were the hard moments when I couldn’t breath, sometimes from the pain and other times from the lack of him being close to me.

But the thing that bothered me the most was that this had always been us, the constant flirting and the erratically romantic thoughts, and yet it took us this long, it took me this long to think that maybe he felt the same too.

When it was time for lunch we met at the food tent and Bucky and I explained to everyone what foods we had brought, what was in them, what they were called, that sort of thing. Everyone seemed to love the food and it was great that I didn’t have to take any home with me later. Bucky and I were the last ones to eat and we grabbed our plates and went to eat in his trailer.

We were both sitting cross legged on the bed, facing each other, and eating our food...mostly in silence.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked me between bites.

“Sluggish, slow…” I looked up at him and he was sitting much closer to me than before, his face much closer...

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Does this feeling ever go away?”

“What feeling?” He said with a smirk on his face. I smiled back just briefly, enjoying the seconds long distraction.

“The loss.” I responded after some time. “I was so young when I lost my mother that I honestly can’t remember how I got through losing her.”

“Well you also had a lot going on at that time. I’m sure the distraction helped.”

“Distraction…

“I could think of a few.”

“I’m sure you could.”

“I could show you.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea.”

And just having a moment of complete courage, I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me. His lips were familiar and wonderful, but a little chapped from the cold weather; I didn’t mind at all. He pushed our plates out of the way before he shifted, making me lie back against the pillows, and bringing himself to rest mostly on top of me. I moved my hands to his neck, letting my fingers run through his hair, ultimately pulling him closer to me, and his hands ran up and down my back, almost in a soothing manner but also in a way that drove me crazy.

We kissed until a knock came at the door.

“Мистер Барнс, они готовы к вам.” (Mr. Barnes, they’re ready for you.)

“Момент.” (Just a moment.) He called back. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I know it doesn’t help much, but I really don’t want to go.”

“You have a show to finish.”

“With a bunch of girls I don’t like.”

“Then hurry up.” He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me one more time before he climbed off the bed.

“I’m going to count down the minutes.”

“Time will pass by slower that way.”

“Fine.” He started walking to the door and right before he walked out, he turned and looked at me. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yes Bucky?”

“Can I take you out on Friday?”

“Take me out…”

“On a date.”

“On a date?”

“I think it’s about time.” Now it was my turn to smile.

“Yes.” His smile came back too.

“Great, um...I should go, but I’ll see you later.” He turned to leave but looked back at me again.

“Yeah, you will.”

“I’ll work fast.” Again.

“You better get going then.” I reiterated.

“Yeah.” This time he did walk out and as soon as he did I collapsed back against the bed again with a huge smile on my face.

I sat in a bliss for a just a minute before all these wild thoughts started going through my head, I quickly became a nervous mess. And there were two people who I knew could steer me back straight.

PC: Hello?

WM: What the hell Y/N?

They both sounded very upset with me and groggy from it being almost 3am there.

YN: Sorry guys, I know it’s really early there but I need help.

PC: Is this about your dad?

YN: No…

WM: What could you possible be calling us about then?

YN: I...I have a date with Bucky

PC: WHAT?

WM: WHAT?

They both said at the same time, which was then followed by a huge freak out moment and lots of questions, most of which I couldn’t understand.

Y/N: Guys!

PC: Steve, says that he is so happy for you guys.

WM: We want details

YN: There aren’t any details, we were eating lunch in his trailer and then he got called back to set and right before he walked out he asked me out on a date

WM: And he said those words?

YN: He said those words

PC: It’s finally happening

YN: I know and I’ve liked him for a long time, so why am I so nervous?

WM: Everyone gets nervous on a first date

YN: But this certainly isn’t the first time of anything with him. I shouldn’t be nervous.

PC: This is where things start to get official. You’ve been friends with him for so long that transitioning into a relationship is going to be different and you’re going to need to figure out a lot of things.

YN: What if he gets in trouble for being with me?

PC: He can’t. I finished going through his contract and there’s nothing in there that says he has to end up with someone on the show.

YN: Really?

PC: Really.

YN: Have you told him?

PC: No but now I can just leave that to you. Just go up to him, give him a big kiss and tell him you love him.

YN: And tell him about the contract

PC: I’m sure you’ll get around to it.

WM: Hopefully now when you kiss him you’ll actually remember it.

YN: Well…

WM: Well what?

YN: Do you remember that day outside of my trailer, when I was really mad at him?

WM: Yes…

YN: We sort of kissed and that’s why he was so happy…

PC: WHAT?

WM: WHAT?

They both said at the same time again.

YN: And that’s not the only time we’ve kissed since then

PC: Then you have no reason to be nervous because you clearly have been seeing each other for some time

YN: Kissing and being in a relationship are two very different things

WM: Are they though?

PC: It’s too bad that you don’t have the dress I gave you there, that would knock his socks off and more pieces of clothing...I’d hope

YN: Well…

PC: You have it?!

YN: I was getting ready at Wanda’s house for you’re engagement party and I put a bunch of my travel items in my backpack so that I didn’t have to take all of my stuff with me to her apartment. When we got in the car later for her and Vision to drop me off at my apartment, I put your gift in the backpack so I didn’t have anything in my arms as I made my way up the stairs. Then I heard that my dad died I just grabbed all the clothes I could and my backpack, knowing I had all my travel stuff in there already...and the dress.

PC: I swear its fate

WM: It is pretty perfect

YN: But I shouldn’t wear that on the first date should I? I mean what if we don’t go anywhere that fancy?

PC: You’re wearing the dress. I’ll have Steve talk to him.

YN: You are simultaneously terrible and amazing

PC: I’m pretty sure I learned that in law school

We both laughed at her, I could even hear Steve laughing in the background.

YN: Well I’m sorry that I woke you guys up so early, but…

PC: I’m glad you called.

WM: Me too.

YN: Anyway, I always feel better after talking to you guys, no matter how crazy you are

PC: Just have a really good date with him

WM: And give us all the details after he leaves in the morning

YN: Like I said...crazy

PC: Love you, Y/N

WM: Love you too!

Y/N: I love you guys. I’ll talk to you later.

We all said goodbye at the same time and hung up soon after.

I didn’t stay in the trailer too much longer, there was work to do, but I was feeling much better than I was before. And so I went through the rest of the day in a haze, a peacefully happy haze. Honestly, I had spent so much time lately in such a poor mood, that is was a nice change to feel something different, something other than sadness. And now after spending time alone with Bucky and knowing that he didn’t have feelings for the other girls, despite not having told me what he felt for me, made me feel so much better.

So I went through the day in an okay kind of mood and later that night, after Bucky’s first date of the week, we went back to my house and cuddled on the couch, watching whatever TV show we could find that was remotely interesting and then ignoring it to do...other things. But then again it wasn’t hard to get distracted around Bucky.

It started with sitting very close to each other, my feet up on the arm of the couch, my head resting on his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around my waist. Then it turned into light touching, his fingers dancing up and down my arm and I traced the lines of the metal that made up his. Creeping closer and closer to each other, it didn’t take us long to get to kissing and without the interruptions this time...besides my brain, of course. I was the first one to pull away.

My forehead rested against his, our lips inches from each other and our breathing erratic, I finally decided to ask him about everything that was on my mind.

“Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“I have something I need to tell you.”

“Anything.” He moved back a bit so that he could look me in the eyes but held my face in his hands in a way that made me feel as if he was still just as close.

“I talked to Peggy today.”

“Yeah? What did she say?”

“She told me that she finished going through your contract.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“There’s nothing there that says you have to choose someone on the show.”

“But you still look upset.” His hands moved down to grab my hands, his thumbs rubbing circles along my skin, his eyes never left mine.

“I’m not upset.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“You know me too well.”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

“We never had that talk.”

“No we didn’t.”

“Are we going to?”

“I want to.”

“But?”

“I was worried that you had too much going on. I didn’t want to pressure you about us when it seemed like everything around you was falling apart. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to be beside you, to help you pick up all the pieces.”

“It has been pretty crazy lately hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I don’t mind. I just want to do what’s best for you. When I talked to Steve and Peggy about their transition from friends to more-than-friends, they said that they started out by just going on a date and everything after that came to them with time. So I’m not saying that we shouldn’t talk but I think we shouldn’t feel pressured to figure everything out, especially before our first date. What’s important is that we’re together.”

“You always have the right things to say.”

“Believe me, the last thing I want to do is mess this up, so I figured the least I could do is try to figure out the best things to do.”

“You’re amazing.”

“You’ve made me want to be amazing.”

We didn’t stay awake too much longer after that. Once the episode that had been on had ended, we went up to his room and quickly fell asleep, not doing anything that would distract from getting the sleep we needed.

And then the following day was...another day. It was nice though to talk in a language that I never got to speak in and Bucky and I met up later for lunch, which was, again, a nice distraction from the day and the fact that he had another date to go on that night; I just tried not to think about it.

And when we made it to the end of filming for the day, we couldn’t have been more excited to go home...that is until we walked in.

We got out of the car and walked over to the front steps leading to the door, right where Asa was sitting.

“What do you want Asa?” I went up to the door and unlocked it, letting the three of us in out of the cold, despite my wanting to shut the door in Asa’s face.

“Well I want for you not to be mad at me, but as I can see that that won’t happen I have opted for trying to talk some sense into you.”

“Talk sense into me? You’re kidding right? Because from what you told me, I was the only who didn’t know that my father was dying and yet I’m the nonsensical one?”

“I was just doing what your father told me to do.”

“Yeah? Well did you think, just once, that maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was better for me to say goodbye, to see him one last time, to do anything other than what happened.”

“Of course! I knew that you would be mad, I knew that this was a possibility.”

“Then why did you do it?!”

“Because I didn’t want your last memory of your father to be anything like the last memory of your mother!”

“They—I—My mother—” I tried to take in a deep breath but the only thing that came out was a strangled sob. I tried to hold everything in but it made breathing harder and I tried my hardest to not think of her, to keep everything pushed down like before, but it didn’t work. “Can you leave please?”

“Y/N please, please, I know you’re upset with me. I know that I can’t fix this, but please don’t shut me out. You’re my family too.”

“And what happens when you’re gone?!” I could feel the tears in my eyes, the build up of countless drops waiting to fall.

“When I’m gone?”

I tried to find the words and yet I couldn’t do anything but stare at him.

“Y/N…” He walked over to me, cautiously placing a hand on my arm. “I know that what I do is risky and I know that I’m not your parents but I do love you as if you were my own.”

“They left me.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You had your reason.”

“No, he had his reason. I should have told you.” And with that the tension between the two of us completely disappeared, now creating a calm. But something was still bothering me.

“How will I know?”

“What?”

“How will I know you’re going to come back?”

“Everyday I fight to come back to you. I can’t make you promises because we don’t know the future but I can promise that I will always be with you. Just like I know that your mother and father will always be a part of you.”

“I just...I can’t lose anyone else.”

“I know.” He opened his arms for me and I took the few steps forward to embrace him. “I’m going to take care of you.”

“You need to take care of yourself.” I said as I pulled far enough away from him to give him a stern look.

“Okay mom. Anyway, I’m going to leave you two for the night.” I looked back at Bucky who was sitting on the arm of the couch, watching our argument.

“You don’t have to leave. I know that I was upset before but you don’t need to pay for somewhere else to stay, there’s plenty of room here.”

“And ruin whatever it is you’re going to do. No, I may be a father figure in your life but I am in full support of whatever...this is.” He said gesturing to to the two of us.

“What?” I said, looking over at Bucky with a wild expression, not sure if we were telling anyone outside of our friend group or not.

“I saw you two at the funeral.”

“Oh.”

“You guys are good together.”

“Thanks?”

“Okay. I’m turning dad mode off for the night. I will see you two later.”

“Yep.” He walked around me and over to the door, before he turned back.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Well you shoot people for a living so I think the bar is pretty low.”

A look of complete shock crossed his face and then he began to laugh.

“Sassy, I like it. But I’m going to go now before I see anymore.” This time he did walk out the door and I turned and looked at Bucky.

“Well that was something.” I said.

“But you made up, so that’s good.”

“Yeah.” He reached out for me and I went to stand in front of him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on top of his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight to him, giving me comfort that I didn’t know I needed.

“You ready for bed?”

“Very.”

We went upstairs and got dressed for bed, not really talking to each other and yet the silence wasn’t awkward or weird. Once we were dressed we climbed into bed and laid facing each other, letting sleep eventually take us away from the day.

The next morning would prove to be difficult, not only because it was way too early but also because I knew that I needed to visit my dad’s lawyer. Ever since the funeral I had been trying so hard to push down all of the feelings that I had about him and about losing him, but with today solely being about his legacy, it was hard not to think of him.

I woke up before Bucky did and I snuggled even closer to him, trying first to go back to sleep but in the end just laying with him. But with time, sleep did almost come, that was until I felt Bucky’s lips on my forehead and those lips moving down my cheek to my neck…

I, now being fully aware of him, put his face in my hands and brought his lips up to mine. Without breaking the kiss he moved on top of me, pinning me underneath him. I moved my hands down his back to the edge of his shirt, moving to take it off of him...

He pulled away first, not giving us a chance to get too much further than we already had, and stopping whatever could have happened.

“As much as I would love to continue this, I believe we have somewhere to be.”

“Do we though?” I asked.

“Unfortunately.”

“Wouldn’t you rather stay here?” I reached up, giving him a kiss, and pulling him back down to me. He indulged me for a moment but pulled away again.

“You are going to be the death of me.” He rolled off of me but stayed close beside me. I rolled over to my stomach so that I could look at him.

“Stay here with me.”

“I wish I could...you can’t skip out on your dad’s lawyer.” I sighed, knowing that he was right but it was always going to be a lot easier to ignore your problems, which was a strong mood for the morning. “Believe me, I know how hard it is to want to finalize something like this, you know it’s kind of like a last goodbye which is hard. But you also need to trust me when I tell you that the closure that you get from doing this will really help.”

“Did it help you?”

“Yeah it did.” I sighed again.

“Okay.” I groaned, rolling over until I reached the edge of the bed and climbed out, making my way to the bathroom as best as I could.

I quickly took a shower and got ready for the day, getting dressed in something relatively casual, and yet still way dressier than usual. I walked out of the bathroom to look for Bucky but he wasn’t in the room. So I made my way downstairs as best as I could with my leg, finding him in the kitchen, rifling through my fridge

“What are you doing?” I asked, pulling him out of whatever he was doing. He turned back to look at me with a smile on his face.

“I was going to make you breakfast.”

“Well I’m ready to go, so you need to go get ready and I will make breakfast.”

“You’re going to make me breakfast?”

“I am.”

“Okay, then I’m going to go get ready.”

“Okay.” He went back upstairs to get ready and I grabbed the ingredients for Картофельные Блины с Мясом or Potato Pancakes with Meat. It had been my dad’s favorite meal, one that my mom always made for him and ingredients he always had in the kitchen.

At some point in my cooking, Bucky made his way back downstairs and leaned against the counter watching me.

“So what are you making?”

“I’m sure you could guess.” He moved to stand behind me, peering over my shoulder. He looked into the pan and smiled.

“Potato pancakes...with the meat filling.”

“You are correct.”

“It’s been a long time since I have had anything this good.”

“You haven’t even tasted them yet.”

“It’s your cooking, it’s got to be good.”

I quickly finished the pancakes and placed some butter on the table. We sat down across from each other and forked a couple of pancakes onto our plates. He took his first bite and I couldn’t help but smile.

“These are absolutely amazing.”

“Thank you, it’s my mom’s recipe.”

“I need you to make me these for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, I’ll get on that.” I smiled and looked back down at my food.

We both finished our food and did whatever we needed to do before heading out. Bucky drove us into the heart of the city, parking in the lot in front of a very nice building. He turned off the car and climbed out, coming around to open my door for me, but before I climbed out I took a deep breath and then placed my hand in his. He didn’t let go of my hand, even after I was out of the car, giving me a great comfort as we walked into the building.

When we got into the lobby we followed the signs up to A. Petrov’s office suite and took a seat in the waiting room. This place, like the building, was very sophisticated and everything like what a TV lawyers waiting room would look like. What my dad had done to afford a guy like this was beyond me.

I messed with the hem of my skirt as we waited and after awhile of doing that, Bucky grabbed my hand and placed it in his, hoping to calm my nerves. But it must have felt like forever before the man I was supposed to be meeting with, left his office with a very rich looking woman following behind him. He looked over at us and seemed to know exactly who I was.

He turned to us as soon as the woman was out the door.

“Ты говоришь по-английски, не так ли?” (You Speak English, Don’t You?) He asked.

“Yes, we both Speak English and Russian, so whatever you would prefer to use…” I responded.

“I prefer English.” He said, despite his thick Russian accent. “So come on in and we’ll get right to it.” He gestured to his door and we both followed him in, sitting in front of him. “First of all I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. “

“Thank you.”

“Your father was a great man.”

“Yeah.”

“And he definitely made sure you would be taken care of.”

“He did? I never thought...I didn’t think he had any money.”

“No your parents didn’t have a lot of money but they both had life insurance policies.”

“Both of them?”

“Right. Your mother left everything to your father and he only ever used the money to pay for your school and anything you needed. So there’s quite a bit left from that policy and then your dad’s.”

“Okay.”

“So I have some legal things to go over with you and then we can discuss what exactly was left to you.”

“Okay.”

So he spent a lot of time going over everything with me, explaining why the sum of what was left to me was significantly less than what was put in the will, all the tax stuff that I had no idea about, and then finally all the info about my parents medical bills. It was a lot to take in and there was a lot of information being thrown around.

“Does that make sense?”

“More than I thought it would.”

“Good so now for the fun part of all of this.”

“Fun part?”

“I knew your parents very well, they were the happiest couple I had ever met. I know that you may not remember much about them, but I think it’s important to remember them in that way in this tough time.”

“Thank you.”

“So, despite all of the money that we just talked about you not having, both policies will leave you with a little over $25 million.”

“Million?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

I was in complete shock, I wasn’t even sure I was breathing. My jaw was on the floor and I’m pretty sure I had squeezed the life out of Bucky’s hand.

“What I think she’s trying to circle around to is how did their policies become worth that much?” Bucky asked.

“Y/N? Are you with me?” He asked before continuing. I just nodded my head.

“Well, as you probably know, your grandfather ran a multimillion dollar company. In his original will, one that he had made when he was younger and more tolerable of your grandmother, he left everything to her. But in his most recently updated will he left everything to your mother, and yet with your mother’s passing, everything was left to your father, which your grandfather didn’t contest; with the understanding that it would go to you in the future. But your grandmother wasn’t aware of being cut out of his will or the fact that she got nothing when he died. So she used the original will to fool everyone into thinking that the money was rightfully hers, which, of course, came to light when she got arrested. The detective on the case, Detective Vanhoose, needed to arrest her on a big enough charge to officially authorize the investigation into her accounts. So when they froze everything they found out that the money actually belonged to your father and his will left everything to you.”

“But if he didn’t have access to those accounts until right before he died, how did he afford all the bills he paid for me? It sounds like they both had no idea that my grandfather ever left them that money.”

“Your mother still had a life insurance policy, it covered your schooling.”

“So now I just have...$25 million?”

“Your father spent a lot of time with Detective Vanhoose trying to figure out the best way to correct what your grandmother did. He wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.”

I covered my face in my hands just trying my best to wrap my head around the fact that I was a millionaire now.

“I know you need some time to process this all, so I’m going to give you a copy of your father’s will and the paperwork you need to sign to have the funds released to you. Take your time and read over it and come back when you’re ready to sign. I’ve been speaking with the detective and there are a few things that the NYPD need to do to release the funds after they receive your paperwork so it may be awhile until you see anything but we’re here to help you out and we’re going to try and get it to you as soon as possible.”

I just nodded. He handed me a big stack of papers in a folder and just as he did for the woman he had talked to before us, he walked us out of his office, giving us a sincere farewell before scooping up his next client and disappearing into his office once again.

Bucky and I rode back down to the lobby in silence, walked through to the parking lot in silence and climbed in the car...in silence. He didn’t start the car right away but I hadn’t noticed until he said the first thing in well over five minutes.

“So on Friday you’re going to buy me dinner right?” He asked, trying his hardest not to laugh but easily making both of us laugh out loud. I was crying by the end, using this different emotion to get out all this pent up stress. When we both recovered ourselves we looked at each other with smiles on our faces.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Are you really going to make me pay for our date?”

“Of course not! I never make a woman pay for a date but especially not you.”

“Well that’s good, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t after me for my fortune.”

“Yeah that’s all I’ve been after.”

“I knew it.” He laughed at me briefly before he turned on the car and started on his way to work for the day.

He had one more date that night and then a short filming tomorrow to wrap up the episode, giving the crew Friday and Saturday for packing up supplies and traveling back to LA. I wasn’t exactly sure when Bucky was flying back and honestly I didn’t know if I was going back any time soon. I’ve had multiple people tell me to take the time off, to heal, to recover and to deal with legalities. But the thought of being away from LA, from being away from my LA family, no matter how makeshift they were, and of course, from being away from Bucky, made me feel just as bad as I did here. There was a lot to figure out and not a lot of time to do it in.

So as Bucky filmed I distracted myself with reading the paperwork and doing research on the things I didn’t understand. And at some point after filming Bucky came and stole me away from it all, returning me home for the night.

As we layed in bed later I sat there thinking of everything. But as I looked over at Bucky, already fast asleep, I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I was. The fortune I had come into couldn’t measure up to the love that I felt for this man and with that comforting thought, and for the first time all day without a confused thought, I fell asleep wrapped up in the only person who made me feel like the richest person alive.

PART ELEVEN POINTE FIVE

Tell Me What You Think Here

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

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A Little Too Real (6)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 5066

A/N: So I know that this is a long time coming but I hope that this is good. I’ve had a big writer’s block problem but I feel like I’m getting past it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and Happy Halloween!

Warnings: angst, a little fluff, hospital stuff, mentions of injury, car crash details, I don’t know what else

Y/N’S POV

I remember the car accident, that wasn’t the problem. It was how bad I wanted to wake up, but couldn’t. The accident played in a loop in my head, over and over again and I had no understanding of what was happening outside of my head.

You know those movies where people get stuck in a coma and leave their bodies and try to figure out why they couldn’t get back and they look in on their loved ones and whatever else happens? That was not this. It was me and my head hashing it out for consciousness.

But just when I thought that I couldn’t take it anymore, I started to hear something else.

“She’s going to be fine. You heard what the doctor said.” Steve?

“It doesn’t make me feel any better, no matter how much he reassures me. I mean look at her, she’s bound to be in a lot of pain.” Hearing Bucky’s voice simultaneously made me feel calmer and more excited. He was here, waiting for me.

“We won’t know until she wakes up.”

“Yeah.”

“She is going to wake up.”

“I know.”

I don’t exactly remember when everything happened, like time of day and how long I had been at the hospital, but according to what Bucky had said, he had stayed up most of the night, waiting for me to wake up. And trying to think really hard about the order of things, I realized that I missed filming and his mother’s birthday party. So not only did I feel bad physically, but also bad emotionally.

It wasn’t until the next day that I woke up and honestly it was terrifying. Apparently it had been too early and I ended up panicking when I started to choke on the tube running down my throat. I don’t know what I would have done if Bucky hadn’t been there.

Very quickly did the nurses come running in to help me, but as I tried to pull the tube out myself, Bucky was there to hold my hands and keep me from hurting myself. I just remember him repeating that I was okay and I just kept my eyes on him as the nurses took out the tube. But also one of things that made waking up early harder was that breathing by myself still hurt like hell. But the nurses also saw that, so instead of just having the tube of oxygen under my nose they gave me a mask that gave me more oxygen to help steady my breathing. The nurses left the room and Bucky started to move away from me, but I grabbed his hand and held it as tight as I could, hoping that he could see on my face how much I needed him to stay by my side.

He moved his hand to wrap around mine and gave me a small smile.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said. He let go of my hand just for a second so that he could move the chair back over to the side of the bed before sitting down and grabbing my hand again.

The nurses came back in, a lot sooner than expected, giving me some pain medication that made me very tired. As much as I didn’t want to go back to sleep it was too hard to keep my eyes open. Right before I passed out I wrapped my hand back around Bucky’s so that, hopefully, he wouldn’t leave me while I slept. I didn’t want to be alone.

BUCKY’S POV

I couldn’t get her terrified look out of my head. She looked so lost and scared and she, without saying anything at all, begged me to stay by her side, to not leave her alone. So that’s what I did.

Steve came and went, Peggy came by and dropped off a bag of personal items from her apartment, and my mom kept calling non stop wanting information about my “friend.” She didn’t really imply air quotes but it was the way that she said friend that made me think that she thought otherwise.

Anyway, though Y/N didn’t have the tube down her throat anymore they did have her hooked up to an oxygen mask to help her get air easier, hopefully put less stress on the torn lung. But the longer that she slept the more worried I grew. I just wanted to know that she was okay, I wanted to take her home and help her feel as normal as possible, help her get back to herself.

The doctor had come in several times to check in on her and he explained to me some of the things that I would have to help her with after her discharge.

For one, she would most likely be in a wheelchair until she had less chest pain, enough to use crutches. I would also have to watch her very closely after we left the hospital for any signs of distress, breathing difficulties, excess pain or anything else that seemed out of the ordinary for someone who tore both her lung and diaphragm, like I knew exactly what that entailed. But overall it made me nervous, not only because I was now put in charge of what happened to Y/N but also because I had to make sure that she didn’t die on my watch.

You know, I could handle the broken leg and helping her get around, I mean I had done it with my arm for a long time. But making sure that her lung didn’t recollapse or that her diaphragm doesn’t rupture was a big load to carry on my shoulders. One that I was happy to do, but very nervous about.

So as she slept longer and longer I just watched her and prayed to anybody listening that she would be okay soon. But seeing her like that, just so lost to everything happening, made me kind of into a wreck and I’m pretty sure Steve saw it. He never said anything but he did little things to help me out. Like he brought me clean clothes and coffee and food and every couple of hours he would try to convince me to sleep but I never listened to him.

With that, I never had any reason to leave the room, so I had a lot of time to think about things, especially my latest revelation.

I loved her.

The longer I sat there, the longer I thought about how stupid I had been. Ever since the moment I had met her I knew that there was something special about her. But I had pushed everything down because I had been scared that my feelings would get in the way of us working together. Still, despite my best my efforts, I was hopelessly in love with her and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. But I had almost lost her...I couldn't imagine my life without her and I had almost lost her.

So how would I keep someone as important as her in my life and not tell her that I love her? How would I keep her safe and make her happy without her being mine? How do I move on from here?

I was torn away from my rampant thoughts when I heard a labored intake of breath.

“Y/N?” I called out and moved closer to her side. She was messing with her wires and trying to pull the mask off of her face, she was clearly disoriented.

I grabbed her hands to make sure she didn’t pull anything out, but she pulled her hand out of mine and moved her mask down so that I could hear her better.

“You’re here.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” I moved the mask back down over her nose and mouth, making sure thats she was breathing again.

I sat by her bedside and told her everything that had happened since I found her in the hospital. So far she hadn’t said anything to me, just listened to everything I had to say, welcoming the distraction. But as I reached the most present instant before her waking up, she took her mask off again and took in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry...I missed—”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m not upset that you weren’t there.”

“You’re a liar.”

“How do you know me so well?” She smiled just a bit before she moved the mask back on her face. “I admit that I was a little upset, but knowing what I know now...I’m just glad that you're okay, because honestly I...I don’t know what my life would be like without you in it.” She grabbed my hand and looked at me like she was happy.

As the next few hours passed she started to breath better and better. She said that there was still some pain in her chest but the doctor said that that would be normal as she healed. And then he got to the good part.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, you’re surgery was very successful and it looks like you’re recovering a lot faster than expected. That being said, your father has asked your friend Mr. Barnes to help with your post-op care.”

“Is there a lot?”

“Well we could keep you here in the hospital and have you under 24/7 watch for the next week, make sure that what we did sticks. Or you can go home and have your friend do it.”

“Is there a lot?”

“I don’t mind helping.” I said to her.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to help, I just want to know much he would have to do.” She said to me and then the doctor.

“He will need to watch you and make sure that you’re breathing. We’ll give you a portable oxygen tank just in case you have any need for it but if something does go wrong, he will be the one to bring you back to the hospital and we will operate again. Other than that, you will need to be in a wheelchair until we can confirm that your diaphragm and lung are healed enough to use crutches. So he will be helping you get around and you may get tired of him being everywhere because he will be for the next couple of weeks. But in six to eight weeks you will get your cast removed. Until then you will need help, so you can not be afraid to ask for his help.”

“I’m not afraid to ask for help.”

“Y/N, I’ve read that people who have major surgery, tend to sink into themselves. They don’t want to burden their friends because they’re scared that they’ll lose them. You’re scared that you’ll ask for too much. So you may not be scared to ask but you’re scared that I’ll turn away from you when you reach that point.” I grabbed her hand and held it in mine. “You have done so much for me, more than I could ever repay, please don’t push me away. I want to help you.”

“You won’t run away from me?”

“No.”

Y/N and I spent the rest of the day hanging out around the hospital and she seemed to be growing stronger and stronger. She was still hooked up to oxygen but the doctors said that there was a big chance that she could go home tomorrow morning.

Steve and Peggy brought by some non hospital food for dinner and the four of us talked and Y/N laughed, even though it was little and it hurt. But it was fun...until the talk took a turn. I’m not sure how we got so serious but it brought up some good points and things that I needed to talk to Y/N about.

So when Steve and Peggy left I got Y/N’s attention and brought up what had been going through my mind.

“I think you should move in with me...during the recovery.” I blurted.

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot, kind of like making a mental pros-cons list, so just hear me out. I’m going to have to watch you very closely over the next week and this is serious. I’ve been talking to the doctor and he’s shown me things to look out for and there's a lot that could happen to you and I need you...to be okay.”

“Bucky do you know why I was hesitant at first when the doctor said that you would be the one to help me with my recovery?”

“No, why?”

“You are my best friend. My best friend. I was so excited to see you here because I was hoping that you would do what you did when I woke up. You told me what was happening with everyone, you talked to me like we were at work and while you talked to me I forgot about the images flashing through my head. And then the doctor comes in and starts talking about my recovery and you disappear. I know that you’re worried but I don’t need whoever that was earlier, I need my friend. What’s about to happen...I’m scared.” She took in as deep a breath as she could as the tears started to form in her eyes. “I can feel where they cut into me...what they did to me and I’m scared by what the doctor said because I don’t want anything to happen again. So I don’t need you to be my doctor or my babysitter, I need you to be my friend. I need you to make me forget the accident, I need you to not treat me differently and I need you to support me and keep me breathing. You said you needed me, but I need you, I need you Bucky.”

She had a few tears running down her cheeks and her breathing was ragged, she was clearly upset by what I had said and I felt terrible about it. I grabbed her hand and made sure she was looking at me.

“I'm here for you, whatever you need from me, and I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I’m not trying to change what we have and if you want me to talk your ear off, I’ll talk your ear off. But I’m worried too and I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong and it helps me to think about this as if I know everything that could possibly happen to you. The doctor wants to release you in the morning and I really wanted to get all of this doctor talk and the medical preparations done here so that I don’t have to bring it out of there. Your recovery shouldn’t be about that, so I’ve been preparing now so we don’t have to deal with it later. I know that we are going to be okay because once we get out of this god forsaken hospital everything will go back to semi-normal. We’ll figure things out as we go and we’ll keep everything fun and easy. But most importantly I’m always going to be you’re friend and I’m always going to be here for you. No matter what, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really?”

“Really.” She took in a deep breath and wiped the tears off her face.

“I’m sorry for exploding like that.”

“It’s okay. All of this is overwhelming, I should have gone a little slower.”

“You’re just trying to help.”

“Yes, but what you’ve been through is traumatic and it will take you some time to adjust. I know for a fact that trying to operate with one leg will be difficult, so at least I know something about that.”

“I’m lucky that you’re helping me.”

“I’m happy I finally get to do something to pay you back. Not that I’m trying to get even but it’s nice to be able to do something for you.”

“You do a lot more than you think.”

“I would love to hear what.”

“It’s my secret.”

“Well, maybe one of these days I’ll get you to tell me. I know that you may not want to think about this right now, but I would feel more comfortable if you would move in with me for the week. I mean, logistically it would be easier to get your wheelchair through my apartment door on the first floor than your door on the second...so that’s the biggest thing. Not that I wouldn’t carry you up to your apartment but I thought it would be easier.”

“That’s fine.”

“And Peggy brought you some clothes so you should be good for at least a couple of days, maybe after work we can swing by your place if you need some more stuff.”

“You guys are too good to me.”

“We’re all here for you. We’re going to get you through this.”

“I know.”

The following morning, Sunday, the nurse helped Y/N get changed into her pajamas and gave her some tips on how to keep her cast as clean possible but as she got ready I left the hospital to get us some real food. Y/N would have to eat before she took her medicine so I figured she would want something other than gross hospital food. So as soon as she was dressed I gave her her food and I loaded my car while she ate. 20 minutes later we were out of there with discharge papers and a very doped up Y/N.

She was pretty quiet the whole ride home but I just chalked it up to the meds. She would usually take these at night so that she could pass out afterwards but the doctor said that she would make it home before that happened today.

I pulled up to my apartment and looked over at Y/N...who was completely passed out against the window. So instead of making a big fuss of the wheelchair, I just decided to carry her in and set her on my bed.

So I walked around to the passenger door, made sure she didn’t fall out when I opened the door, and picked her up. But as soon as I got up to my door I realized that I had no way to open it, so instead I kicked it really hard and hoped my mom would be home.

The door opened and she went to say something but I think she was shocked to see me standing there with a woman in my arms. So she just moved out of the way and let me inside.

“What are you—who is this?” She asked.

“This is Y/N, she’s staying with me for the week so I can make sure she doesn’t die.” I kept walking back to my room and she just followed.

“What?” I kicked open the door to my bedroom and placed Y/N on the bed. I grabbed a few pillows, propped up her leg and put the covers on top of her, making sure that she would have no reason to wake up. As soon as I got her comfortable I met my mom out in the living room where I knew I would hear either harsh words or overexcited personally invasive questions. I figured more of the second.

The first thing to come out of her was a complaint about me not calling her with enough updates but pretty much everything after that was her grilling me about Y/N. Apparently I hadn’t told her enough about Y/N because to her this “obviously seemed like something more.” It took me a while to convince her otherwise and I’m still not really sure she believes me but I needed to focus on Y/N.

So I grabbed my phone and went to sit in the chair in the corner of my room, that way I could keep a close eye on Y/N and so my mom couldn’t walk in and yell at me anymore.

So I just sat and waited, waited for her to wake up...again.

A couple of hours had passed and Y/N had woken up. She was still kind of fuzzy but...she was beautiful. She hadn’t showered, her hair was a mess, she looked exhausted but she was the most beautiful person in the world.

I moved by her side and we talked most of the day. I made her food and I introduced her to my mom...which was very nerve wracking for many reasons and yet they seemed to be getting along greatly. Y/N apologized profusely for missing the party and said that as soon as she could she would make a new batch of birthday pies for us to enjoy. But my mom made sure that she understood that we both didn’t expect anything other than her taking as much time as she needed to heal.

“You know, Bucky didn’t tell me that you would still be here, but I’m glad you are, I wanted the chance to meet you before you left.” Y/N said.

“He didn’t tell you? Yeah I’m staying over for a few days. He works too much and I don’t get to see him enough.”

“So if she’s staying in the guest room and I slept on your bed, where are you sleeping?” She asked me very accusatory.

“I am taking the couch.”

“Bucky—“

“Don’t be like that. I don’t mind.”

“Well I do.”

“Well don’t, I volunteered to help you out and luckily my couch is very comfortable.”

“And if it wasn’t?” She said now amused.

“Well of course I would have to throw you out on the street and just hope that you would make it home.”

“Oh okay, because that sounds exactly like something you would do.”

“Oh yeah.” We were both smiling at the turn of the conversation and I risked a peek at my mom who was just as if not more happy at how the two of us had reacted to our disagreement.

So with that, I tried to make the most out of the time we had left in the day and gave Y/N as much normalcy as possible. We moved out to the living room and just lounged around watching movies and laughing and later my mom made us some dinner. Of course she had a secret agenda but I think I missed her home made food so much that I didn’t even bother to bring it up.

When it was time to go to bed I moved Y/N back into my room, propped her leg back up on the pillows and brought her her new nightly medication.

“So, I will be on the couch if you need me, just call out, I’ll leave the door open.” I turned to leave her for the night but she stopped me.

“Wait, Bucky?” She grabbed my hand. “I don’t want this to be weird but, will you stay with me?”

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah..I just don’t want to be alone.”

“This isn’t about me sleeping on the couch is it?”

“No.” She almost looked scared.

“Okay.”

So I walked around to the unoccupied side of the bed and climbed underneath the covers right next to her. She moved so that her head was resting on my chest, her arms wrapped around me, and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around her, feeling like she needed me to hold her.

“Are you sure everything's okay?”

“I remember everything.” She took in a deep breath. “I don��t want to.”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

“Thank you.”

“Good night Y/N.”

“Goodnight Bucky.”

STEVE’S POV

It was days like today that I loved. I had the day off, got to spend all of my time with Peggy and we actually fell asleep at a reasonable time.

We were both in a dead sleep until the loud ringtone of my cell woke me up. I quickly picked it up hoping to not wake Peggy.

STEVE: Hello? I whispered.

WINIFRED: Steve?

STEVE: Hey Winnie, what can I do for you?

WINIFRED: Can you come over here?

STEVE: Is everything okay?

WINIFRED: Yeah I just need you to come over here, if you don’t mind.

STEVE: Sure, I’ll be there in a bit

WINIFRED: Thanks

STEVE: No problem

I hung up the phone completely confused about what was going on.

“What did Winnie want?” Peggy asked.

“She wants me to come over to Bucky’s.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t say.”

“She does know that it’s like one in the morning.”

“She wouldn’t have asked me to come if it wasn’t important.”

“I know.”

“Just go back to bed, I’ll see what’s happening.”

“I’m already awake, it could be something good. I don’t want to miss it.”

“Maybe you're right.”

So we both got dressed and headed over to Bucky's apartment. Winnie must have been waiting for us because we didn’t even get a chance to knock on the door before it swung open.

“It’s about time you got here.” She said, leaving the door open as she marched away.

“We only live ten minutes away.” Peggy said.

We just followed Winnie and she walked towards Bucky’s room...okay, I knew what this was about.

The three of us moved to stand in the doorway of his bedroom, seeing that Y/N and Bucky were sleeping together, arms wrapped around each other, just like a couple would do. Yeah, we definitely knew what this was about.

“What is happening with him? First he tells me that they’re friends, then she is moving in for the week, and now they’re sleeping together.”

“They are friends.” Peggy started.

“But he has feelings for her.” I continued.

“And she has feelings for him.”

“Then why this dance? We should just tell them.” Winnie concluded.

“Well there are some other things that have happened.” I said.

“Like what?”

“Well…” I looked at Peggy and she shrugged. “They kissed at my birthday party, but they don’t remember.”

“Okay.”

“And they work together so I think they’re both trying to keep things professional, you know, because he’s on a reality tv dating show.”

“But if he likes her, and she likes him, then why can’t we tell them? It’s pretty obvious that this is not just friendship.”

“I decided not to tell him.”

“Why?”

“Because of Nat.”

“She was all wrong for him and Y/N—“

“I pushed Bucky to see Nat. He was hesitant about seeing her and I told him that she was good, that all of the doubt that he had about her was just nerves...but he was right. And I pushed him and he was the one who got hurt...badly hurt.”

“But she isn’t Nat.”

“No but he needs to be the one to make the move from friendship to something more. I can’t push him again, give suggestive hints yes, but I can’t do that to him again. I know that he likes her more than he ever did Nat, so I want what they have to last even if it takes a while for them to get there.”

“Well you're sweet to worry about him, but don’t think that I won’t stop trying. If anyone can get through to him it’s me.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

We didn’t stick around much longer after that. Winnie had made some sweets earlier in the day and loaded us up before we left, apologizing for waking us up. But after that we went back home curled back into our warm blankets and thought that maybe Winnie was right, maybe we did need to do something about this.

Y/N’S POV

The nightmares weren’t that bad last night. Having Bucky with me made me feel less alone, he made me feel less like a victim.

I remember the crash. I remember the song playing on the radio, I remember what I was thinking, who I was thinking about… I remember the feeling of the crash, I remember the crack of my leg, I remember the breath leaving my lungs as if it were impossible to ever breathe again. I remember the pain but most of all I remember the one face I would have given anything to see just one more time.

And I did, I did see him again. That was the first time that I felt relief, the second I opened my eyes and saw his eyes looking right back at me. I tried so hard to talk to him to, to speak around the breathing tube with no luck. But seeing him there was enough.

And then he stayed. He took care of me while I recovered in the daunting room, he spoke to me as if the accident had never happened. For a second I thought that everything was okay that I could handle staying friends with him, despite the thoughts I had had of him before the crash.

And then he changed, he started to talk about taking care of me and he started talking about things that could have fooled me into believing that he cared for me more than he did.

My response to his talk was some of fear, not because of his intentions changing towards me but because I was scared that my intentions would.

Before the crash I knew where we stood and honestly I would do anything to go back there, because I didn’t want to mess this up.

So when Bucky asked me to move in with him I was scared and when I asked him to stay with me last night I couldn’t do anything but hope that my growing feelings wouldn’t break my heart.

But the nightmares...yeah they weren’t bad last night.

Despite the sleep I got, I was still up pretty early. I didn’t dare move though, I wanted the good feeling to last a little longer. I waited and listened to his lungs moving, his heart beating and I couldn’t help but feel that I wanted to stay here. Something had definitely shifted when that car crashed into me, I just didn’t know if it was for the worse or the better.

PART SEVEN

Tell me what you think here or if you want to be tagged

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

Text

A Little Too Real (5)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 5450

A/N: Long time coming, but it’s here. I don’t have much to say, besides that you guys are awesome and I love you! Enjoy!

Warnings: fluff, sad!bucky, angst, mentions of injury, cliffhanger (sorry)

WEEK 3

BUCKY’S POV

I had to believe that the new week would bring something good. Not because that last week had been so terrible but the more that I thought about what happened with Y/N the more I wanted to make it up to her.

So, I quickly got ready for the day, putting on jeans and a t-shirt. The drive from my apartment over to Y/N’s wasn’t so bad and I stopped at a little coffee shop along the way, grabbing the two of us some coffee and something to munch on.

I drove up to the front gate of Y/N’s apartment complex, typed in the code that she had used before, and then Clyde waved me through after he recognized me from the first time I had been there. Finding Y/N’s apartment from that point was all muscle memory as I drove to the back building and walked up to the door I had only seen once before, but couldn’t bare to forget. I knocked on her door and was not expecting to see who answered.

“Hey, Barnes.” Tony left the door open as he turned around to go back to the couch. On the coffee table in front of him were two different laptops and it looked kind of like he was programming something.

“What are you doing?” I asked, heading into the kitchen to set down the coffee and food.

“Oh, Y/N asked me if I would change her phone number, so now I am changing all of her accounts so that the new number is registered instead of her old one.”

“But why?”

“Because she asked me to. You should be getting a text soon from the new number.” And it wasn’t even a couple of seconds later that I got a text from a unknown number. “So what brings you by?”

“Well I was going to ask Y/N to come to PT with me, but if you two are doing something…”

“No, I just came over to get access to her laptop.”

“Is she here?” I asked, looking around the apartment.

“Oh, yeah. She’s sleeping, I just decided to stop by before Luna’s diagnostic check. You’re going, right?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Then you better wake up Y/N.”

“Yeah.”

I grabbed the coffee and scone and walked into Y/N’s bedroom. She had a soft little snore and was propped up on a pile of pillows, hair strewn out across them, but completely cuddled in her blanket, looking as peaceful as could be. I sat down on the edge of the bed and moved her hair out of her face before I tried to wake her.

“Y/N?” She stirred a little. “Hey, Y/N?” I said a little louder and her eyes started to open.

“Bucky? What are you doing here?”

“Tony let me in.”

“Tony’s here?”

“Yeah, he’s in the living room.”

“What are you doing here?” She asked, sitting up to look at me better.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to PT with me?”

“You want me to go?”

“Yeah. I mean, I won’t be doing too much. Tony’s going to be running some new diagnostic checks because of the whole thing that happened last week and we’re going to check on Luna.”

“Luna’s going to be there?” She smiled.

“Yeah, I figured that you may want to meet her.”

“I would love to go.”

“How fast can you get ready?”

“Never underestimate the speed of an ex-dresser.”

“I’ll time you.”

She grabbed the coffee cup out of my hand and quickly took a sip before she handed it back to me and headed for the bathroom. I went back out to the living room where Tony was sitting and sat right next to him. While we waited Tony did some last minute work and I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, saved Y/N’s new number and deleted the old one.

It couldn’t have been but twenty minutes later that Y/N came out, completely ready to go. I had to admit that that was an impressive time for a woman to get ready, I had never seen that before. Tony grabbed his things and the three of us left her apartment and headed over to the PT building.

When we got inside we made sure to sign in and we headed over to the tech room first where Tony would set up the computers for the diagnostic checks.

As Tony worked, I took Y/N on a small tour of the facility and introduced her to the few physical trainers and medical staff that I had come to work with during my recovery.

As we walked around, she told me about how Peggy had actually asked her out to lunch a couple of weeks ago and how the two of them had just instantly became friends and practically talked every day, I mean when she wasn't talking to me of course or working. And then I told her about the party that I was planning for my mom’s birthday and how it was going to be a big event this year since this was kind of the first year that I didn't have anything going on. Of course Y/N was invited so I made sure to give her the information and I told her a little about my mom so that she could get her a present if she wanted to, even though I insisted that she just bring by a couple of her birthday pies.

Once I had finished my tour we stopped off in the lobby and decided to finish waiting for Luna and her mom there.

“Thanks for coming with me today, by the way, I know that it was like I just showed up in your bedroom and asked you to come, but I’m glad you’re here.” I teased.

“That’s because that is exactly what happened.” We both just laughed at each other, but looked over at the door when Luna, with her bouncy little blonde curls, came skipping in. As soon as she realized I was waiting for her, she launched herself into my arms and held onto me as tightly as she could.

“Bucky!” She yelled.

“Hi Luna.” I placed her back on the ground in front of me and looked at the new dress she was wearing, a replica of the new Cinderella dress. “Or should I call you princess?” She giggled and curled herself around her mother’s leg.

“No, I’m Luna.”

“Oh. Well, Luna this is my best friend Y/N, we get to work together on my show.” Y/N waved at her. “She helps pick out everyone's clothes and sometimes she even makes them.”

“You know how to make dresses?” She asked Y/N.

“Yeah I do.”

“Princess dresses?”

“Any kind of dress you can think of.” She smiled. We heard someone walk around the corner and Luna got excited again running straight for him.

“I’m ready when you guys are.” Tony said as Luna grabbed his hand and pulled him away before he could barely finish his statement.

So the remaining three of us, went back into the tech room and I grabbed a chair, placing it right next to the table where Tony had set up his computers. Y/N went to move a chair right beside me for Luna, but I just picked her up and put her in my lap just like we usually did .

“Why don't you move a chair right in front of us, so you can see this? It's pretty cool.”

“We fix our arms at the same time.” Luna said to Y/N as she moved her chair to face the two of us. Luna's mother moved a chair right next to Y/N so that she could help if she needed to.

“At the same time?” She asked.

“Yeah, She’s a little s-c-a-r-e-d of the wires.” I said a little quieter hoping to not draw her attention too much away from Tony.

Luna’s...crushing on Tony. It’s the cutest thing ever. She loves him despite the hard outer shell he usually wears for everyone else. In reality he's just a big old teddy bear, but more so with Luna.

To start the diagnostic setup, I placed my arm on the table with the inside of my arm facing up and then Tony started attaching the wires. As soon as he was done setting up my wires, Luna moved her arm to rest right on top of mine, in the same position so that Tony could then attach her wires. I wasn't quite sure what about this made Luna feel better, but it did. Maybe because she saw me doing it at the same time and her seeing that I wasn't being hurt helped ease her, but I wasn't sure. Unfortunately the check took some time so this was the point where getting Luna to talk was very important.

“So, I haven't seen you in a while. You started school already right?”

“Yeah.” She said quietly, very nervously watching what was happening with her arm.

“You must be in like the fifth grade by now.” I teased.

“No!” She giggled and turned to look back at me with a smile. “Preschool.”

“Oh. What have you been learning?”

“Music and shapes.”

“Shapes can sing?”

“No!” She laughed.

I kept asking her questions about school and sometimes Y/N would ask her something. But we just talked to her until the software was done updating and as usual she was perfectly calm despite her nerves.

After we finished up with Tony, Y/N, Luna, her mom and I all decided to go out for lunch. We tried to convince Tony to come with us but apparently he had a meeting to go to. Luna gave him the saddest puppy dog eyes I had ever seen but he somehow was able to say no to her, I’m not sure how but he did.

I took the four of us to Luna’s favorite restaurant and we had a really good time just talking and letting Luna tell us these stories that probably were not nearly as funny as they were when she told them.

But overall seeing Luna, having Y/N meet Luna...I don’t know, it made things real again. Since I started being friends with Y/N I had pushed down pretty much everything that I had been feeling, mostly because of the reality TV aspect of our relationship. Because despite the fact that this was supposed to be reality, I couldn’t help but not feel more fake doing the show than I had ever in my life. Y/N made me feel real and seeing her with Luna made me think about life with her, how I didn’t want to be part of a reality without her.

But ignoring that for a moment, there was a very harsh reality that lived within my revelation, the possibility of Y/N not liking me the same. And as I stared at Y/N, thinking about how great these last weeks have been, I couldn’t help but want to keep that as sacred as possible. So I had to figure that the best way to keep what we had, was actually to not do anything to jeopardize that, including keeping my feelings at bay.

So as the next couple of days passed, I tried my hardest to do just that. I focused a little more on the show and the nine remaining girls, I worked a little more with Tony and the time that I spent with Y/N was more limited but still fun and casual.

And of course I couldn’t forget the countless hours of planning that I had to put in for my mom’s birthday party. I was very excited for the surprise, it was hard to surprise my mother, but I was also excited to see her, since I hadn’t in so long. Y/N spent some of her time helping me out, giving me a female opinion, which I was very grateful for.

The night before our last night of filming for the week and before the night of the party, Y/N, Steve, Peggy and I were decorating my apartment with the party decorations I had bought. Peggy volunteered to make the cake and Y/N was baking some birthday pies, with some begging on my part. Steve and I weren’t much good for planning where the decorations went, but we were pretty good at listening to where the girls wanted us to put things or where they thought things looked the best.

As the night grew later the place actually started to look like a party could happen here which would have never happened if I had been by myself. Steve and Peggy were the first to leave, telling me how happy they were to have helped out and that they couldn't wait for tomorrow. I thanked them for coming over and helping me out before they went home, leaving me and Y/N alone.

“You know I should probably head out too. I've got to go to the store before work to get your mom a present.”

“You really don't have to, she'll love the pies.”

“You can't go to a birthday party without a gift.”

“Fine.”

“And we’re done here anyway, you need to get some sleep. You said your mom was driving in early right?”

“Yeah. She's got a six and a half hour drive to make. I usually fly up to see her but she insisted on driving down. She’s probably about to leave actually, she says there’s less traffic that way.”

“Smart. But you do realize that you’re going to have to meet her somewhere else now.”

“Why?”

“We just spent like four hours decorating your apartment for her surprise party.”

“Oh...yeah.”

“You can’t bring her here.”

“Yeah I see that now.”

“Well, why don’t you just...treat her to a spa day or so something. There are a lot of hotels that have spas in them and I’m sure that she would enjoy the relaxation after her long drive.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“You could tell her it’s a present.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?.”

“I wouldn't miss it.”

And with that she left. I grabbed my phone and looked around for a nice hotel/spa for my mom and set up an appointment before texting her the address and asking her to go there instead of my apartment. Of course she was suspicious but I guaranteed her that is was a good surprise.

After I had convinced her to go and after she begged me to meet her for lunch, I turned back around and looked at the decorated room. I smiled thinking about the wonderful night we had putting all of this together. I loved the way that Y/N interacted with Steve and Peggy, kind of like she had known them for years and I loved how much they loved her back.

Another thought that I also had was about the fact that whenever I had something to do or wanted something to do, Y/N was always the first person to pop into my mind. When I was younger it used to be Steve, you know we would go to baseball games together and we’d go get food. But when he met Peggy things changed, it wasn’t that we stopped hanging out it was like we added Peggy to our team. But the fact that I could see Y/N joining our “team” made me nervous and made me question the way I acted around her or talked to her or anything with her.

Yet the biggest factor of this revelation was simple: I never thought of any of the girls in the same way that I thought of Y/N.

This singular thought managed to keep me up most of the night and when I woke up in the morning I was actually very ready to kick some more girls off the show.

This week had been kind of weird, not just because of the dates but I also could feel the tension in the air. I sort of knew what happened when I wasn’t in the room, but according to Y/N they were different people when I wasn’t there. She never told me who, because she wanted me to make my own decisions but I had been so paranoid all week because of this shift.

I begged Y/N to tell me something just to take my mind off things, something that would confirm that I wasn't going crazy. But she was stubborn and wouldn't tell me anything about the girls or what they had done. So instead I tried my hardest to push that aside and did anything I could to distract myself. I took a shower, I picked out a suit for lunch, I trimmed my beard, I even ironed my shirt for tonight, despite Y/N telling me she would do it, all of this just to give me some peace of mind. And with the hours I wasted, it gave me plenty of time to get dressed and meet my mother for lunch at her hotel.

When I got there, the hostess at the restaurant, the one right off of the lobby, showed me to the table that I had reserved for our lunch. It was about ten minutes before my mother came down and was escorted to our table. I stood up from my chair and wrapped her tightly in my arms.

“Hi mom.”

“Hi.” She said with a huge smile on her face.

“Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“How was your drive?” We both sat down in our chairs, facing each other.

“Long.”

“I’m glad you're here though.”

“Yeah, the drive was worth it. I’m happy to see you.”

So we ordered food and drinks and we just caught up on all the things we had missed about each other. I told her about the show and how it had been going and of course she was curious about the girls and yet for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell her about Y/N. She asked about Steve and Peggy and even wondered about Luna and how the new updates on the arm were working. She told me about her friends and she brought up the fact that one of their daughters was getting married and how nice it would be to have grandchildren, you know, the whole guilt trip.

But the food was good, the conversation better and after talking to her I was ready for filming. I told my mom to meet me at my apartment later, telling her that I would text her when I got back from filming so that I could let her in.

So from the hotel I headed to the studio, stopping to get some coffee for Y/N along the way. When I made it to the Wardrobe room the door was locked. I tried knocking but I didn't hear anything on the other side of the door and nobody came to open up.

To me that was very strange, Y/N was never late...unless she was helping me out or I was distracting her. Never late. So the fact that she wasn't here was the first sign that something was wrong. I chose to ignore it, seeing as she was allowed to be late at least once of her own fruition. But I definitely made note of the strange occurrence.

So instead I went to the hair and makeup trailer to get ready, now being thankful that I ironed my shirt before I came. Steve met up with me at some point, being the perfect distraction from my worry.

But as it got later I couldn't help but feel the thought that something was wrong creep back to the front of my mind.

“She'll be here, she never misses.” Steve said, before I headed back to my trailer to get dressed.

As much as I wanted to believe Steve though, I couldn't help but think that she wasn't coming, especially when I waited as long as the director would let me, for her to show up.

So, trying my hardest to hide the ache in my heart, we started filming. Tonight’s filming, like most shoots at the end of the week, was easy and with that two more girls were gone. You would think that I would be a little more torn up with there being so few girls left already...but I wasn’t. I was worried and upset and not really in the mood for dealing with these other women.

So as soon as we wrapped up filming and the crew said I could leave, I headed for my trailer, Steve following me as I went. He handed me my phone as we walked and I typed out a message to Y/N.

BUCKY: Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong? I still hope to see you at the party.

Knowing that I didn’t have a lot of time to get back to the apartment, and knowing that Peggy was handling the guests who had already shown up, I stepped into the small bedroom to change.

“Bucky are you okay?” I heard Steve ask on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I even flinched at how harsh and not okay that sounded.

“I know you’re upset—”

“I’m not upset.”

“Bucky...she’s got to have a reason. We both know that Y/N is not one to break her promises. She would have been here if she could.”

“Yeah I know.”

I came out of the room dressed and ready to go to my apartment, the whole drive over spent in complete silence. As soon as I got to the door though, I changed my whole demeanor, having no other choice than to ignore the terrible feeling in my gut. I put on the biggest smile that I could muster and I walked into my apartment.

I found Peggy first, thanking her for helping out until Steve and I had gotten there and then I quickly made my way around the room, thanking everyone for coming but also looking for Y/N, hoping that Peggy had missed her. When I didn’t find her and I had waited longer than originally planned, I texted my mom, telling her to come on over. The hotel wasn’t too far from my apartment, so it was pretty easy to gauge when everyone needed to hide. I was on the look out for her while everyone else enjoyed themselves and honestly it was a nice distraction from the fake demeanor I had to keep up while everyone was looking. This way I could stare out the window and not worry about anyone asking me if I was okay or put on a fake smile to lie to them and tell them that I was.

I saw my mom’s car pull up and quickly turned to tell everyone that she was here. I went to stand by the door and waited a few seconds after she rung my doorbell to answer the door. She walked in with a huge smile on her face, looking like she had had a really great day. I leaned down to give her a hug and invited her in. When she set down her things, everyone came bursting out of their hiding places and yelling, “Surprise!” as loud as they could.

She turned to look at me with a big shocked smile on her face and wrapped me in her arms one more time before she went and started greeting the guests. And then the party went on as planned: she talked to everyone, she opened presents and we dished out cake and ice cream. She couldn’t have been any happier.

And despite the surprise having gone perfectly, I was still in a pretty foul mood. Y/N never showed up...which wasn't like her. She was always there or at least would tell me if she couldn't make it, which was never the case.

But apparently my foul mood was very evident to my mother.

“What are you so upset about?” She asked.

“Nothing.” I said turning to face her.

“James Buchanan Barnes, tell me what is on your mind.”

“It really is nothing, a friend of mine was supposed to come and she wasn't at work today, but it just isn't who she is to not show up.”

“She?”

“Mom, seriously.”

“Well I could try and help you, but you haven't told me anything about this girl.”

I glared at her, but delved into the shortest explanation of mine and Y/N’s relationship. She seemed to be gulping it up and I knew I was in for an earful when I finished.

“There's clearly something wrong.”

“What?” I wasn't expecting her to give me an answer so soon, a lecture though I did expect.

“I think something's wrong. I mean you've pretty much proven that she would never do something like this, at least not of her own will.”

“You think she could be in trouble?”

“Not necessarily, I just think she had a really good reason for not being here.”

“I know, I’m trying to believe that but I’m worried.”

“I know. But the fact that you care so much about her being here is sure proof that you like this girl. And when you find her—”

“Mom!”

“Don't ‘mom’ me. There's no time to waste, you have to find her.”

“But this is the first party that I have been able to come to—”

“I don't want you here, I want you to go find Y/N.”

“Okay.” I said, but was honestly surprised to hear her say that.

“I mean I want you here but I also want you to find her. It's the beginning of a really great love story.”

“Mom!”

“I’m serious James. Go find her.”

So with my mom’s blessing, I left the party and, without really thinking, I drove over to Y/N’s apartment. I pulled up to the gate and Clyde came over to my car.

“Ms. Y/L/N hasn't come back yet.”

“When did she leave?” I asked,

“She left this morning for work earlier than usual or at least lately.”

“But she hasn't been back here since then?”

“No.”

“Okay. Thanks Clyde. If she comes back will you have her call me?”

“Is she okay?”

“I don't know.”

There was definitely something wrong. I wasn't exactly sure what it was yet, but something was off.

So I drove back to the studio hoping that she was working or something. I had to park outside of the security gate, since it was so late, and walk in. As I walked around the lot, peeking in on unlocked sets and checking the wardrobe room, I ran into Mike, one of our many production managers.

He looked tired and a little frazzled, furiously typing on his phone, clearly not having seen me.

“James!” He said after our run in had drawn his attention away from his phone.

“Hey Mike? What are you up to?”

“I just got the strangest phone call.”

“Okay?”

“A call came in at the executive's’ office. The man asked to be redirected here, to this specific lot. When he finally got transferred to my office he told me that he's Y/N’s father.”

“Her dad?”

“Yeah. He told me that I had to find her friend Bucky?”

“He said that?”

“Yeah apparently she's in the hospital and he doesn't want her to be alone. I mean I don't even know how to begin looking—”

“She's in the hospital?!”

“Yeah. You're friends with her right? Do you know this Bucky?”

“Yeah that's me.”

“What?”

“It's a nickname my family uses. What hospital is she at?”

“UCLA Medical Center.”

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and started walking away from him. I texted Steve, to let him know what was going on and so that he could tell my mom.

I quickly got back into my car and sped away from the lot, making my way towards her, as fast as I could.

There were a million things going through my head as I sped to the hospital and honestly knowing that she was there but not knowing that she was okay, was causing me more pain than I had experienced in a long time and that's saying something. I had no idea how I was going to get in to see her but I knew that I needed to be close to her.

So I walked in the lobby of the the lowest level and right up to the nurses station, hoping by some chance that they would let me in to see her.

“Excuse me.” I said, grabbing the nurses attention.

“How can I help you?” She responded.

“I’m looking for Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“Name?”

“James Barnes or Bucky.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah.”

“Her father told me that you would be coming by.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, if you’ll have a seat I’ll let her doctor know that you’re here.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t have to wait long for her doctor to meet with me, maybe fifteen minutes. He took me from the waiting area to her floor where he explained what was happening with Y/N before he would let me in to see her.

“I spoke to her father on the phone and he explained to me that you were one of her closest friends. Y/N is going to need a lot of help when she gets out in a few days and since he doesn’t live in the country, he believed that you would be the best fit for helping her.”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, I'm going to try and explain briefly what happened but the police will be by later to check in on her and finish their report. You can ask more questions regarding what happened when they get here. But simply, Y/N was in a terrible car accident, she was lucky though. It may not sound like it but she came in with a collapsed lung and a broken leg but when we got her x-rayed we found that her diaphragm was also ruptured. Usually it’s a pretty hard thing to diagnose without any other injury so we got lucky that we had to focus there. We went in and repaired both tears and gave her a cast for her leg and she’s doing great. When you go in she’ll look pretty beaten up because of the bruises and cuts, she’ll also have a tube helping her breath until we know that that lung is working fully again. But she’s doing really well and she’ll be able to go home soon.”

“Okay.” I’m pretty sure that I was in shock just from hearing everything. That and the fact that this doctor was actually trying to make me believe that this was less terrible than it was.

“I know this is a lot, but it could have been a lot worse. I could tell that she was a fighter and I know that she’s going to be fine, you just need to have a little faith in her. But take some time and process this before you go in, it’ll be less shocking for you.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

“And if you need anything or if you notice anything wrong, her nurse’s name is written on the board in the room and she can help you with whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

I shook his hand and then he left. I stood outside of Y/N’s room and took some time to process, like the doctor had suggested. And when the need to see her overcame the fear, I opened the door and stepped in.

I stared at her for a long time, feeling terrible for having assumed that she would ever be any different than who she was. Y/N would have been there today, she would have been at the party too if she had any control over her day...but she didn’t, not today. And I was the jerk who had assumed the worst.

But when I got out of my head I moved to her bedside and sat myself down beside her. I grabbed her hand and held it in mine, not thinking about anything but her.

And with these thoughts came the true revelation. There was no way around it...I was in love with her.

PART SIX

Tell me what you think here or let me know if you want to be tagged

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky series #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel series #realtiy!TV bucky #realitytv!au #bucky bachelor #a little too real

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

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For anyone who missed it :)

A Little Too Real (7)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 5390

A/N: Hey guys! So, I finally got something else out! I feel that I have really neglected you guys when it came to writing, but I really appreciate you guys being patient with me. I’ve only been out of school for two months and it honestly is not as easy as I thought it would be, so I thank you for sticking with me. I love you guys and I hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Angst, fluff, medical talk, allusion and mention of male body part, (*whispers*) cliffhanger

Week 4

Y/N’S POV

“I don’t want to go.” Bucky held my hands in his and was trying to be gentle, yet stern, as he tried to pull me from the bed.

“I have to go to work, therefore you have to go with me.”

“Then let’s stay here, where we already are and we have food and I don’t have to shower.”

“You make a compelling argument, but where you get to miss work because of the accident, unfortunately I don’t have the choice to stay here with you. And it’s doctors orders that you have to stay with me, so…”

“Yeah yeah. Okay Mom.” I let him pull me off the bed. He grabbed my bag from the hospital off the floor and helped me into the bathroom. He got as much as he could set up for me and then left to give me some privacy to get ready.

I dug through my bag first seeing what Peggy had grabbed for me and was surprised to see some things that I haven’t worn in a very long time. All of the outfits were either skirts or dresses, which I guess made sense for the whole leg cast thing but I did own pants that weren’t super tight. And now, where I didn’t want to get out of bed before, I have to shave…which is worse.

Picking the longest of the dresses and a jacket, for a little more coverage, I started the shower and took as little time as possible knowing that Bucky needed to go to filming.

I came out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go, seeing that Bucky was sitting on the bed waiting for me.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

Keep reading

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your-modern-shakespeare · 7 years ago

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A Little Too Real (4.5)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 3300

A/N: Wow! With this part that makes week 2, 300 words short of 10,000 words. It’s kind of crazy to think about. I’m sorry that you’ve had to wait so long for this, but there is a lot of setting up that I had to do through this chapter and you may or may not catch on to it, so it took me a little longer. I love you guys and Enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, google translate

BUCKY’S POV

“So what happened on your date?” Y/N and I were sitting in my bed, eating whatever cereal I had in my cabinet and watching some rom com that was on TV. She had already told me everything that happened with Tony and how it was not a successful date and as much as I hated to think it, I was very happy to hear that her date had gone poorly. But following the talk of Tony, she became very insistent on knowing how my date went and I wasn't exactly sure why I didn't want to tell her that I really didn't like any of the girls.

“It was okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And that's all you want to tell me?”

“She was great, beautiful and she knew all the right things to say to me.”

“But?”

“But she was as...normal as every other girl I’ve dated.”

“And?” I laughed at her, she just knew me so well.

“And when we kissed, there wasn't anything there.”

“So, much like my night.”

“Pretty much.”

“Well we tried, right?”

“Right.”

“Are you going to keep her on the show?”

“I guess I should for now.”

“Why?”

“Honestly I don't know. Would it be weird if I kicked her off even though I picked her for the one on one date?”

“Well if you know for sure you don't like her…”

“Yeah, I'm not sure. I'll have to wait and see how the group date goes.”

“That sounds...horrifying.”

“Yeah we’ll see.”

Despite how late it was, Y/N and I stayed up and talked for hours, forgetting all about the movie that we had started. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and the whole while I was thinking about what Wanda had said.

At some point in the night I felt her head hit my shoulder and when I moved, just the slightest, to look at her, I saw that she was fast asleep.

I let the back of my head fall back against the pillows, resting my cheek on her head and I let myself believe, for that night, that she was mine, that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

Y/N’S POV

I don’t know when I exactly fell asleep but when I woke up in the morning I definitely remembered where I had fallen asleep. I looked over at Bucky, whose chest I had been sleeping on, to see his blue eyes wide awake.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you.”

“That’s okay, I enjoyed the company.”

“You don’t think that we could just skip today? You know just lay around and eat ice cream and watch movie musicals?” He just laughed at me.

“Movie musicals?”

“Don’t judge me.”

“I’m not, I like musicals.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a guy say that before.”

“I’m a constant surprise.”

“Sounds about right.”

I laughed at him and then I heard my phone start to ring. I looked at the number to see that it was an international number coming from Moscow.

“Привет.” (Hello.)

“Является ли это Y/N Y/L/N?” (Is this Y/N Y/L/N?)

“Да” (Yes.)

“Речь идет о вашем отце.” (It’s about your father.)

“Он в порядке?” (Is he okay?) Bucky moved closer to me trying to listen in on my conversation, placing his ear right next to my phone.

“Он рухнул на работу и был Петровские Ворота медицинский центр.” (He collapsed at work and was taken to Petrovskie Vorota Medical Centre)

“Но он в порядке?” (But he is okay?)

“Да. Врачи хотели бы провести несколько тестов, но вскоре он должен вернуться домой.” (Yes.The doctors would like to conduct several tests, but he should return home soon.)

“Он бодрствует? Могу я поговорить с ним?” (Is he awake? Can I talk to him?)

“Он спит. Но он попросил меня сказать вам, что он не хочет, чтобы вы летели сюда.” (He's sleeping. But he asked me to tell you that he does not want you to fly here.)

“Он сказал, что?” (He said that?)

“Он сказал, что вам нужно быть на работе и что он в порядке.” (He said that you need to be at work and that he's fine.)

“Я останусь здесь, но ты скажешь ему позвонить мне, когда он уйдет?” (I'll stay here, but will you tell him to call me when he's discharged?)

“я буду.” (I will.)

“Спасибо.” (Thank you.)

“Хорошего дня.” (Have a nice day.)

“я попробую.” (I’ll try.)

I hung up the phone and took in a deep breath.

“Are you okay?”

“She said that he's okay.”

“But are you okay? You should go see him.” He stood up off the bed, moving to stand in front of me.

“No, if my dad said that he didn't want me to come, than it can't be serious.”

“But why would your dad tell you not to come?” I realized what I had done and had to come up with a quick excuse. I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth without telling him my biggest secret.

“The trip is long and I can’t leave the department without supervision, I would be out the rest of the week, maybe even longer. But he is also my father and he asked me to stay here, so I’m going to listen to him. You don’t have to understand but I have spent so much of my life without him and I’m not going to do anything to mess it up now.”

“You’re right I don’t understand, because I would do anything if I could see my father again. But unfortunately I don't have that luxury. You should—” At his words I stood up, trying to level to him as much as possible.

“You think that my father living in another country is a luxury?”

“That’s not what I meant. I just don’t think that you’re thinking straight.This is —”

“I have my reasons for not being able to see him, reasons that I haven't told you yet, reasons I haven't told anyone. And you know what? You've gotten closer to me than anyone has before, I opened up to you and right now you are judging me for something you know nothing about. I have never judged you about anything, I have always accepted you for what you are and right now I am accepting that you are a jerk.”

I grabbed my shoes off the floor by his bed and quickly left his apartment. I drove immediately to the studio and headed to the wardrobe room. Wanda was already there and could see the anger that was on my face, that being said, she didn’t say anything to me.

I honestly don’t know why I had gotten heated so fast, maybe because it was my dad he was talking about, but I just couldn’t understand why he would react the way he did. Then again, I did interrupt him...but it still didn’t give him the right to assume things about me.

I grabbed a spare piece of fabric and a whole bunch of grommets and headed back to my work table at the back of the room. I grabbed the speaker and plugged in my phone, playing the music as loud as I could and I just went after it. I had no reason to install grommets on this piece of fabric other than the fact that I got to hold a hammer and take out my frustration on making sure this piece of fabric had the most grommets of anything in this room.

I was pounding at the grommets and thinking about everything that had happened when I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw Tony.

“Hey.” He started.

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry, I set grommets when I’m angry.”

“Well what did that piece of fabric do to get on your bad side?”

“You’re not funny.” I said, despite my threatening smile.

“What’s got you so upset?”

“Bucky.”

“Do I need to beat him up, because I will.”

“No, I’m afraid that I was wrong too. Not as wrong as he was but still...slightly wrong.” He laughed and grabbed my hand.

“What did he do?”

“My dad is in the hospital, he fell at work, but the nurse told me that he didn’t want me to come and visit. I told Bucky that I wasn’t going to go and see him and he said something that just made me so angry, I just got so defensive. He did something that I thought he would ever do.”

“What?”

“He judged me. The reason that what I have with Bucky works so well is because we don’t assume things about each other, we don’t judge each other. He doesn’t know what I have been through with my father and he assumed that he knew what I should do concerning my father.”

“I’m not saying that he was right to judge you, but I can also see where he is coming from.”

“You’re not supposed to have his side.”

“Well, this may not be something you want to hear but you’re judging him right now. And I think that that is why you’re in here pounding at grommets.”

“How am I judging him?”

“Because as you have pointed out, he has no idea what happened with your father, but you have no idea what happened with his.”

“But I—”

“I think the more important question here is what were you doing with Bucky so early in the morning.”

“Not what you’re thinking. But why are you here, I’m sure it wasn’t to come and stop me from installing unnecessary grommets on things.”

“No, Bucky has his group date today and I am doing some follow up tests on his arm. I just thought that I would stop by and see you before I went searching for him.”

“Well thank you for stopping by, but it sounds like you have something to do.” I started to walk away from him, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me along as he went in search of Bucky.

BUCKY’S POV

I don’t know how I let her walk away from me this morning and if I didn’t feel guilty as hell for it.

After Y/N had left I headed for the studio, meeting up with Steve, so that he could help me go over everything for tonight.

“Hey man.” Steve said, walking over to where I was working.

“Hey.” I said standoffish.

“Wow, what happened to you?”

“Nothing.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“I hurt Y/N. She’s mad at me.”

“What did you do?”

“I just said something stupid.”

“Sounds like something you would do.”

“Well thank you for taking her side.”

“Well maybe you should invite her to go bowling with us tonight.”

“I can’t invite her, I’m supposed to be on a date with 11 other girls. If Y/N came I would end up talking to her all night.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“She wouldn’t be up for it.”

“You didn’t ask her.”

“And I’m not going to.”

“You are making this so much harder than it has to be.”

“You know I asked you and Peggy to come tonight because I feel out of my comfort zone. I would really like for you to be there, but don’t make me regret asking you.”

“I just want you to be happy and I can see that you are when you’re with Y/N.”

“Things are more complicated than that.”

“Bucky I have to tell you something, it’s about—” We heard voices coming up behind us and turned to see Tony and Y/N walking towards us.

“Hey there, look who I found.” Tony said. “I believe I’m here to check your arm out before your date..s.”

“Yes.” I sat down in the chair closest to me and he placed his bag of tools on the table. He started to dig through the wires that made up my arm and I looked at Y/N for the first time.

“I’m sorry.” I said to her. “I shouldn’t have said that about your dad.”

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to blow up at you.”

“Then I guess we were both wrong.” I smiled at her.

“Well you won’t hear me say it.” We both just laughed at each other. “But yes.”

“Well Stevie, I think we are needed...anywhere else but here.” Steve and Tony left the two of us to talk.

“So…”

“When I was eight, my mom died. My dad sent me to America to tell my mother’s family that she had passed. He was going to come with me but he couldn’t figure out his passport, so he sent me anyway saying that he would meet up with me in a few days. Once I was in America though, they didn’t let me go back. I didn’t see him again for eight years and I have only seen him in person twice since then. It’s not that I don’t want to see my father, it’s that I don’t want to mess up what we do have, I value it too much.”

“I didn’t mean what I said, about it being a luxury that your dad was alive. I think I’m just still so angry at what happened to my dad that I lashed out at you. My dad died when I was 12, he was hit by a drunk driver and he died instantly, they didn’t even try to save him. The driver was brought to the hospital and went through surgery and he lived. He only went to county jail for a year...that was his sentence for killing someone.”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry.”

“I just don’t want you to regret anything with your father, that’s why I was so mean to you.”

“I’ll call the clinic again and if he isn’t released I’ll go see him.”

“Good.”

“And let’s not do that again.”

“What?”

“Argue.”

“I can’t guarantee that, I may be wrong a lot but I’m not known for going down without a fight.”

“Oh? You’re a big softie.”

“What did I tell you about telling my secrets?”

“Shut up.” I stood from my chair and wrapped her in my arms, hugging her as tight to me as I could. “Well you better get going if you’re going to get to your date on time.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you around Y/N.”

“See you.” And then she left.

Y/N’S POV

I walked away from Bucky and back over to Tony, grabbed his hand and walked away from Steve before I asked him anything.

“There is something that I need to ask you about. I was going to text you but then you showed up and the whole thing with Bucky...”

“What?”

“I saw the news this morning.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Do they know that it was me? I mean I liked going out with you but I value my privacy and you did say that they’re wouldn't be any paparazzi at the event.”

“My PR team doesn't think that they know who you are. I told them to handle it though and they’re pretty good at making things disappear especially when it comes to me.”

“Well just to be on the safe side, I know that you can work magic with technology.”

“And?”

“I need you to change my phone number and let everyone know in my contacts list that I changed it.”

“Wait, you want to change your phone number? I can make sure that no one finds out about the two of us if that’s what you’re concerned about.” He looked really upset.

“Tony, this isn’t about you. I like you, you’re great company. I’m just not looking to be found...by someone.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“No, I just don’t want my past catching up to me. Please, will you do me this favor?”

“Fine, but you owe me a dinner.”

“Fine, dinner.”

“But I’m paying.”

“What?”

“I never make a lady pay.” He grabbed my phone out of my hands and we walked back to the wardrobe room where he hooked my phone up to the desktop in there and went to work.

BUCKY’S POV

The group date actually was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. The girls were very competitive, as expected, but having Steve and Peggy there made things immeasurably easier. It also showed which of the girls were genuine because these were my two best friends and their presence in my life was non-negotiable. So anyone who did not get along with them automatically made it on my possible elimination list.

All throughout the games I made my way around to talk to the girls, pausing every so often to play a few throws with Steve and Peggy. It was kind of crazy how the girls fought over my attention, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the first night I had met them, where they literally stole me away from other girls, but it was mostly as bad. But as I promised, when the competition was over, the winner of the overall bowling games, we played three games and averaged the scores, won a one-on-one date with me.

So later that night, I took Ulani out to a nice restaurant where we simply ate dinner and enjoyed drinks on the rooftop. Ulani was super nice and beautiful, like most of the girls, but unlike the other girls she was different and it was refreshing. She was a former model, to pay off school loans, turned astrophysicist and believe it or not we actually talked about space for hours, while looking at the barely visible stars.

And I had to admit that it was really nice to talk to someone about it again. I really missed it. No one ever brought up my time training to be an astronaut because they thought that they would hurt my feelings. And when Ulani did there was no hesitation, she was excited to talk to me about it, seeing as I was probably one of the only people to fully understand her. The only thing that would have made me feel better was if we had had the chance to talk about my arm.

So far none of the girls had brought it up, I knew that they could see it but the fact that no one had the courage to ask me about it brought my head back to Y/N.

So yeah, Ulani was good and I wanted to see more of her.

The following day I met up with Y/N and I followed her around as she worked, talking to her about the girls and getting her opinion on who I should keep on the show. She seemed to like what I told her about Ulani and we ended up keeping Layla, my first one-on-one date, in because they’re had been three girls that I had already wanted to get rid of because of how rude they had been to Steve and Peggy.

Of course, when it came time to announce who was leaving, I didn’t tell them the reason that they were being kicked off but I did hope that they caught on. And like she always was, Y/N was there for me.

When I got home that night I saw that I had a text from Steve, which reminded me that he was trying to tell me something before Tony showed up.

STEVE: How did it go?

BUCKY: Good. Earlier, what did you want to tell me?

STEVE: Nothing, it was nothing.

Little did I know that he actually had a big secret that he was trying to tell me.

PART FIVE

Tell Me What You Think

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