#i cant even get into explaining and rambling right now because i need to go soon but the symbolism!!!!!!

[cheerfullycatholic]

So just found out my baby niece or nephew might be born on the same day my grandmother died 👍 that wouldn't be bad at all but I know a couple people in my family would rather mourn death than celebrate new life and wouldn't let him or her forget it

[dangopango00]

ABYSS RAZOR CRUSH HCS BC IF I DONT GET SOME CONTENT I WILL DIE

Abyss Razor x gn reader

Prompt: yall r madly in love he has a crush on youuu (boyfail situationship hcs more like tbh)

A/N: sorry if this is rambly i cant live like this i keep rereading the same 4 or 5 posts over and over again ive been waiting for like a year and im getting teased with the tip PLEASEEE WRITE HIM 😭😭🤞 i cant ever escape the ‘nobodys fave but mine’ curse help

Ily losermen

Ily high ponytail men

Ily abyss razor

more utc

- Im gonna jump he is so kewt. Idek what to say im just ill

- You’d probably often compliment his eyes and you have this image that hes so calm and collected— which he is! But! Not with you! So every conversation with you is him just fighting for his life trying to look cool and not implode at the same time

- ^^^ THIS is one thing. But what really gets him falling for you is when you get a bit closer and have a talk with him, telling him in no uncertain terms that he’ll always have someone to return to if others are cruel because you won’t be leaving him

- Gives you things VERY often, usually little things because hed die if he had to directly give you a gift and then have to explain why, so he shows his affection in little ways like letting you have his best pencils and pens if you need it (lets you keep it too)

- oh he absolutely loses it if he sees you continue to use his pen hes so touched that you’re taking good care of what he gives you it shows that it means a lot to you and that he means a lot to you

- The only actual gift he gives you during this stage are things he has an excuse for like origami (idk why but i feel like he makes cool ass origami) he can just say he made too many so hes giving them away yet you and maybe Abel are the only ones who received some…

- He wants so badly to be useful to you he gets so flustered and happy just hearing you say thanks when he answers your question about the assignment or when he lends you his materials

- Immediately stiffens when you make any sort of contact. Dont stop though, he can count the times hes been hugged on one hand

- Speaking of his touch starvation, he’d let you play with his hair and looks forward to it tbh he’d just rather not initiate anything it’s too much for his heart

- If you have him take down his hair and play with it (like braid it or try different hairstyles) he’d feel so content; ofc he’s nervous but at the same time he just feels so at peace as if it’s only you two in the world and all the people who have ever wronged him never existed in the first place

- He’s a little bit delulu, i fear

- He gets so nervous texting and calling you bc what if you tell him ily. No that could never happen. Wait but what if it did— do you see his dilemma?

- He’s a chronic overthinker and in a way its a bit sweet because he used to worry about you randomly saying you didn’t want to be friends with him but now he wouldn’t even consider that possibility; it just no longer enters his mind

- He’d also find himself drifting off, losing himself in thought and end up daydreaming about if you two were in a relationship

- It’s very innocent, it’s just you two being cute and going places together while holding hands and such until it drifts even further to imagining you two kissing

- His face is on fire and he has to stop thinking NOW but hes in too deep hes imagining kissing ice cream off the side of your mouth and other cliches like that it’s so over

- Abel wondering wth is wrong with his right hand; all he said was that he was going to make mother happy by doing his homework today meanwhile Abyss can no longer be normal

- The kissing is just his guilty pleasure but Abyss constantly imagines holding hands with you like if you walk too close to him his hands will get clammy and his fingertips will get cold because he wants to hold your hand but is scared to initiate it

- God forbid you actually hold his hand even for a second while he’s having his entire internal monologue. He will die. You killed him. How could you?

- He won’t let go though like. Ever . Handholding is his favorite thing 5ever and as soon as he gets a taste he’s hooked

- He likes handholding so much that if you held his hand enough times then one time he’d accidentally grab your hand and initiate for once (immediately gets flustered after but it counts)

- Really really REALLY likes when u trace over his magic lines. Ruins his life everytime and he just melts in your touch; subconsciously leans in and his face softens and EVERYTHING

- Ok i wasn’t gonna say it bc itd probably involve sm sneaking but: Sleepovers. IM JUST SAYING 🤞🤞🤞 I feel like this is where most of the softer moments happen tbh like your roommate being out and you two have a sleepover

- I think this is where the playing with his hair and tracing the lines on his face would happen if not this then when you’re bored in class

- Not a fan of PDA even if ur not dating so he does play with your hair but usually during the sleepovers if you’ll allow him (not quite trying new hairstyles like you do but letting it fall through his fingers, running his hands through it or just rubbing the ends with his fingers to feel how soft it is)

- If you are bald he would slightly hold the back of your head and rub your temples with his thumb to help you relax

- Idk ik i just went on about how hes a loser but I feel like when it comes to affection relating to hair or like anything not affectionate in a cliche sense he doesn’t really pay attention and does it without thinking; only realizes its too affectionate if you point it out (please do not, he feels very comfortable right now. He will stop and never do it again if you point it out)

- You have a lot of deep talks and give him encouraging words during sleepovers tbh it just gives you both time to just… enjoy each other uninterrupted

- Sometimes instinctually distances himself from you because you make his heart do somersaults and his head feels like it’ll explode around you though he doesn’t last long, he needs you with him everyday atp 😭

- Although the above is true, sometimes he gets clingy ish (just by your side all the time) and protective over you even knowing you aren’t his

A/N: a ridonkulous amount of these r based on things ive done erm. Ok. Ig next thing i should write is him with an equally loser gf i def fit the bill LOL

[dr-spectre]

man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

[chronically-j]

its crazy when someone else points out how long your disability has been affecting you. not in a bad way.

this is kind of rambly

my dad and i were talking about something or other, i was asking him to go to the store maybe. and in the conversation he mentioned (mind you this is the day after using my wheelchair for the first time in public) that for the past few years at least but probably more, hes noticed that after i do the christmas shopping with codie, i really dont get up much the next day or 2. i spend most of my time in bed. he wasnt saying it judgingly, he was saying it because hes so happy that using my wheelchair for a few hours meant i was able to do the things i wanted to today. and it just made me really think about how long this has been affecting me.

even when my grandmother was alive, before she had to go to the nursing home, my joints were horrible. we would go grocery shopping and she would make me sit on the floor of her motorized scooter because she saw me limp and flinch and she would see it get worse and worse. that was 5-8 years ago.

every christmas season is the hardest on my joints because its cold and im spending more time in the cold and im walking so so much. this is the first year ive used any kind of mobility aid, and the fact that its made it so good that i went to the store again today, forgot my cane, and was mostly fine? yeah i hurt a bit now but nothing more than my typical pain, nothing at all like it would have been if i didnt have my wheelchair and canes.

this has been the more validating day for me. i typically have a lot of internalized ableism that ive been working to challenge and unlearn for the sake of my health, and this was a huge, terrifying step. i nearly didnt bring it. but the fact that it was so so so much easier to get around and move in that chair than in was with my cane or no aids at all? i cant explain it, but it showed me that i really do need this and that this was the right choice. usually by store 3 im in so much pain i cant hide it, and by store 5 im sitting down on the floor over and over because i cant walk. but not this time.

now time to gain some arm strength lol

[kitty-meowskers]

scar playlist drop wooooo (will probably add more songs)

lets go through some of the songs!!!! because i am. gay and not okay.

1) Blood // Water - grandson

ok listen. i havent listen to this song in AGESSSS but i came across it again and oh. my god.

DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN??? first of all: lamb reference. not gonna lie if the vibes were good that couldve been enough for me to throw it in butttt thats not all. THE PRICE OF YOUR GREED IS YOUR SON AND YOUR DAUGHTER???? get me out of here.

scars whole thing is about how the system 'the shepard' would never free the lambs. it wouldnt bring them any peace or freedom, it wouldnt make their lives easier. the 'look me in my eyes, tell me everthings not fine' implies that he (or the black lamb in his story) knows even if the rest dont want to admit it.

lmao this is just that hes done with the shepard. hes done with the white lambs accepting it and playing along with the game. he joins the fractsidus!!!! yipeee!!!!

2) Hayloft II - Mother Mother

OHHH boy. okay, i know the og song is about two lovers doing the silly and the father of the girl killing the guy and then the girl goes after her dad but look.

lets say the lovers are the black lamb and the white lambs. yes im using his story again because theres no way in hell that story wasnt somehow related to him.

the white lambs got 'shot' aka dragged into the shepards game, slaughtered one by one. all while the black lamb (scar) got the blame. ill bet the people tried to kill him but he made it out alive and then he obviously eventually joined the fractsidus.

hayloft is the white lambs here (yes again. just bear with me). once the shepard ran out of lambs he left, on his way to find a new group excepttttt

scars had enough.

the shepard took away his family from him, his people/lambs. therefore 'eye for an eye, a leg for a leg' but it wasnt enough killing the shepard. he couldnt let something like that again (so much rage in him) so now he has this whole extreme and crazy ideology of how the world could be better, how he could make it better.

3) A Lesson In Dramatics - Jhariah

this is just scar and rover fighting in my head. may the battle scene commence.

4) Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

do i really need to explain this??? okay ive been sucking at words so far but here we go

man this whole thing is JUST about him and the shepherd story isnt it? im just gonna be repeating myself again lets continue-

AHHH ok lets also talk about the way this is said in the song. personally, i think this man has A LOT of 'suppressed' rage. suppressed like that is because it doesnt out as rage necessarily i dont know if i make sense but yeah. he's crazy, but angry isnt something you'll spot at the surface because he hides it away. while the lyrics convey his rage the way he sings it does not necessarily

i have so many thoughts on the other songs too but like. I CANNOT WORD THEM. THE VOICES JUST SCREAM NONSENSE IN MY HEAD AND IM LIKE. YOURE RIGHT. even though i cant explain it..... this was not proof read btw LMAO- i just rambled kind of

[dead-or-lie]

💗 Relationships / lovers

💚 Friends / family members

It's your turn to talk about the polycule, my friend.

—yes! I love these losers! Happy to answer!

“Hehe..all of them are so wonderful..s-so where should I-i even start? W-well me and Sonia have interests in common..s-so it makes her easier to talk to than I-i orionally thought..I-im glad she doesnt look at me weierdly for enjoying all the gore in the films we watch! S-she..is so kind and patient to me..I-im so thankful..”

“I-i..I kinda find Gundham difficult to talk to still because of h-his speeching style..but I-i think im slowly learning!! D-despite that..he can really be a nice person despite his act..hehe I-i wont lie his fears of horror movies i-is amusing, but ah! P-please dont tell him I said that! I-I hope we can get closer in this relationship..and heal him if he ever needs it!”

“I-I feel like a owe a lot to H-hajime for being so patient with me..I-I was so worried I was wierding him out! But he sticks with me all the same and even helps me when Im getting scared. I-I know he gets scared of my medical equipment though..s-so I try to be careful when I help him with injuries, rare as they may be. I-Im really happy with him!”

“Kazuichi..r-reminds me of myself in a way I-I cant explain..m-maybe because of how easily nervous we can get. I-i hope he isnt upset for comparing us..th-though I dont think he will be. Hehe, he rambles sometimes, but he is fun to talk to. Though..I-i do worry about all the mechanic work he does due to all the equipment he uses..h-he always comes to me if he gets hurt though which makes me feel useful and m-makes me happy!”

—---------------------------

“F-family….? Th-they..they are all just a bunch of bullies..I don’t know where they are now and I dont care….AH! S-Sorry if thats a disappointing answer!”

“Heh..I cant believe I got to have any partner..let alone four. Though..I definitely can’t complain as they all are..really important to me. Sonia seems to think that I match some sort of legendary hero in Noveselic..I-im not sure about that, but I mean..Ill try to do my best to reach that expectation? Ethier way, she is easy to talk to and really kind to boot. I hope to teach her more about Japan and learn about her country more in return.”

“Gundham certainly did take awhile to understand, but now that I do I wouldnt trade that bond we have now for anything. Im pretty glad I reached above being a mere human at least..Proud to assist him in making his soul more atrocious as his partner..and all those other things he said we were. It..feels nice to be one of his..’souls chosen companion.’”

“Mikan is..ah I got to be honest..I worry about her a lot. She is so kind and has told me enough about her that..I dont ever want her to be hurt ever again. I really hope that me and the others can continue to make her happy as she really does deserve it. Probably the kindest of all of us..even if her love for horror was somewhat shocking.”

“What is there to say about Kazuichi? He is my soul brother for a reason..and thinking back about our relationship makes me laugh as I did joke about going on a date once or twice. Guess I was right! He is a good guy and I’m always happy to help if he ever needs anything..though I gotta ask..how in the world is he strong enough to pick me up? Im..Im I really that light..? Whatever not important. I really do care about him..a lot.”

—-------------------------------

“..I wonder..i wonder what my parents are doing now if I can be honest..I can barely even remember what they look like. From..what I heard..Hopes Peak lied to them and told me I was dead after the Kamakura Project. Maybe I should be mad..but Im actually thankful for that one thing as we never got along. There expectations were so high for me and they always disrespected my identity and who I was..The closest family I got is Izuru..as..ugh this is annoying to admit, but I do see him as a brother. While we sometimes have conflicts..like he is persistent about keeping our hair long which is super annoying..but Im thankful to have them. Nice to have a family member..”

[hylianengineer]

Okay I'm done with the film review for my sociology class, now you can all have my rant about it, and it's LONG so it's going under a read more:

I'm watching that new Netflix documentary about dirt - Kiss The Ground. For context, I'm an undergrad researcher in biogeochemistry and I study the carbon cycle, particularly a very specific type of decomposition that occurs in waterlogged soils - methanogenesis.

I'm so thrilled that something this mainstream is talking about soil carbon, soil microbes (my beloveds), and carbon sequestration. They're talking about root exudates and mychorrizhae and agriculture as part of an ecosystem! That's exciting. There's also a really excellent dose of climate hope in this documentary - and I am really excited to see that concept getting out of niche environmental circles and into things that regular people might actually watch.

On the other hand, parts of this documentary tick me off. I do not consider Tom Brady, nor his wife, to be a reliable source about the importance of organic agriculture. I know you're trying to interest the non-science types but come on, that is a classic appeal to irrelevant authority fallacy. And they should have said the thing about how we do still have to stop using fossil fuels and reach net zero emissions IN ADDITION TO sequestering the carbon we've already emitted more than one time in the whole film, because I just know people are going to take the rest of this message and run with it in the wrong direction. And they are really hammering home the appeal to emotions in the first half, to the point where I think the core of their argument suffers for it. Are you trying to explain this thing to me or are you throwing around buzzwords and pictures of sick children in hopes I'll get distracted?

Also they keep introducing guests with credentials like "ecologist from the Rodale Institute." You know nobody knows what the fuck that is, right? (It's an NGO dedicated to organic farming, for the record, but I did have to google it, and they had multiple guest speakers from this group.) Come on, you have no credibility if I can't tell where your info's coming from, and most people are not going to do background research as they watch a documentary.

Overall, I agree with their main points but I'm annoyed with how they made them. They're right about the ability of soil to sequester carbon, they're right that it could play a big role in climate change mitigation, and they're right that helping the soil is also better for people, ecosystems, and the planet. They're right about no till farming, permaculture, and crop diversity. They're even right about the bullshit that is the US industrial agricultural system, and they dug into how it came about in the post-WWII era, which isn't something I see talked about much. Kind of baffled how they managed to talk about soil degradation in the Midwestern USA without getting into the unique ways prairie soil and roots work, and instead went down a weird rambly path about how plows are bad (true, at least here - I cant speak for ecosystems I don't know as well - but explained poorly) and cows are good because this system evolved to have bison in it (sort of true, but incomplete. Cows aren't bison and the differences do matter.)

Also, reduced meat consumption is a very common thing that a lot of experts say is needed for climate change mitigation, and don't think I didn't notice how you sidestepped the issue just to say 'cows are good actually, stop vilifying cows.' I call bullshit. Just because cows work well in some ecosystems on a certain scale does not mean that it's possible to farm meat sustainably on the scale we currently do - factory farming and feedlots (CAFOs, if you want to get technical) are what allows us to make this much meat in the first place. You just admitted we need cows spread out on a lot more land to making ranching sustainable, and then failed to address the fact that this idyllic system doesn't really mesh with a world in which everybody eats multiple servings of beef per day. I see that decision and I know why you made it, because asking people to make sacrifices for the climate tends to make them ignore you, I don't even necessarily disagree with that decision because I know you're trying to persuade normal people and not environmentalists, but don't think I didn't notice.

Okay, fine, NOW they're talking about eating less meat and how what meat people do eat needs to come from more sustainable agricultural practices. Good. Better.

Oh look at our free range eggs, they're orange and that means they have more nutrients. Do they? Please back up this claim with scientific evidence. Of course the farmer says his eggs are better, he raised them. It's plausible, but I am pedantic and a scientist and I want data. You have to prove things to me.

Overall not a horrible documentary but ticks me off in several ways and tries to cram too many different subjects into like an hour and a half. Also, visiting the film's website makes me MORE ANGRY because they say even STUPIDER things about how they think climate science works. They make it sound like carbon sequestration in soil is THE solution which is BULLSHIT. There is no THE solution, there's gotta be a bunch of em stacked on top of each other - according to basically every climate change mitigation plan I've ever heard of (Project Drawdown is a good example). There's this metaphor I like to use to explain this to people - there's no silver bullet, but there could be silver buckshot. I read that somewhere once and cannot remember where but I'll never forget it.

Anyways, if you want a good intro to soil health directed at non-scientists/environmentalists, Kiss The Ground isn't bad, but you gotta think critically about some of the claims it's making because some of them are bullshit.

[re-bee-key]

I would like to talk about Brianna Ghey, but more broadly, i just want to vent about my frustrations with how some people are treating her death.

Specifically, the people saying she wasn't killed for being trans. #Trigger warnings for transphobia, death, racism, antisemitism, and other uncomfortable topics that are important to talk about right now.

Its hard to explain to people who really don't want to listen about the accelerating slippery slope of hate that is being experienced around the world.

What happened to Brianna Ghey is tragic. Its heartbreaking. It is not, however, surprising.

Brianna Ghey lived in the UK. And if you've been paying attention to any amount of trans issues you'd be aware that trans people are struggling for their lives in the UK.

In the UK and the USA and really all over the world, politicians and extremists are pushing to ban trans existance altogether. Bills and laws against where trans people can pee, how they present, if they can get surgery or transition, and in some places laws are made that attack how anyone presents - trans or cis.

And all this hateful rhetoric and change is being pushed under the guise of protection. Protection towards woman and children and society as a whole.

Which is sick and twisted and a heartbreaking world view to have on people just wanting to live their lives how they want to live them.

But this rhetoric riles people up. It sanctifies the hatred in their hearts. And pushes them to act.

Usually in harrassment and bullying. But as the pot begins to boil and tensions get even more strained, the wire snaps and someone gets murdered.

Cause thats what all this hate ultimately leads to. Death.

Hatred and fear of Muslims leads to immigration bans and then job loss and isolation and mosque burnings. Next people begin to fear anyone middle eastern. Anyone brown.

Hatred of gays and Jews and others led to the Holocaust.

Hatred of black people led to slavery and hangings and so so many other horrible things. And even when they fought for their rights, things have only incremently gotten better. The hatred still there. Still leading to inequality and death.

All of this to say, the progressive push against Trans people has reached exactly where it was going to reach with all this horrible shit going on.

I mean, fuck. Just the new stupid Hogwarts game coming out has increased anti trans hostility tenfold.

Trans people are at the forefront of any mention of Harry Potter and its making people mad. Those bubbling tensions are reaching the boiling point, and crazy awful people are taking action.

Brianna Ghey was a semi popular tiktoker and was open about her identity. She was bullied and harrassed on tiktok and at school. And its beyond frustrating that the police are denying this was a hate crime.

She was 16! In a park! Having a nice day and she was stabbed to death. Why would anyone do that? If not for the fanned flames of hate in their heart.

How can anyone deny what is happening?

How can people not care?

Trans lives are at risk. And honestly so is every minority at this point.

You have to push against hate for it to die. You have to keep speaking up. Keep standing side by side people who are different than you but need your support.

You cant just sit back in complacency and let bad things happen and pass you by because they dont affect you.

You gotta fuckin care about other people. This shouldn't be so hard!

Ive got a lot more i want to say but this is already so long and rambly. I just... Im so upset.

The world could be so different. We could all live alongside each other, different but embracing our differences. Sharing and exchanging culture. Progressing the arts and sciences and fixing the planet and pushing what it means to be human and our place in the world.

But instead, we are here. Sliding down the slippery slope. And its gonna take every single person who has the capacity for empathy and good to link arms and together pull ourselves back up to the top.

[acewitch-writes]

i dont think remus can be solely blamed for not believing in sirius blindly tho. that doesnt mean that sirius cant be angry, but like, the entirety of the wizarding world was convinced sirius did it both because there were witnesses that heard peter scream how sirius was to blame for james and lily's death, then saw him sirius "kill him", and sirius was driven mad with grief and practically confessing when they arrested him. that doesnt mean it wouldnt be interesting to explore that while recognizing remus' flaws (there's a lot of fics doing that), but like. it's not so black and white. was remus supposed to suspect peter, his other bff and the new martyr? and given that sirius also suspected him, so we can probably infer there was even more going on that we dont know about. idk i think it's more interesting when both characters are both right and wrong at the same time (while holding both accountable AND giving them their rightful moments of anger, ofc, i hate one-sided shit lmao)

I agree! I will defend Remus to my dying breath. There's definitely a LOT more nuance than "Remus should have trusted Sirius."

Remus never had malicious intentions with anything he ever did. When he distanced himself from the Marauders during the war, he had orders from Dumbledore to stay quiet about his secret missions. And I know we all hate Dumbles around here, but Remus respected and revered him and was terrified of disappointing him. So obviously he went along with it.

So now Sirius is starting to suspect him because Remus can never explain his whereabouts. They're fresh out of school, living in a world that hates werewolves and Remus is already struggling enough that James has to support him financially. There's so much story to explore during this short period of time, themes of prejudice and class divisions and discrimination. It makes sense that Sirius would consider the possibility that Remus could be lead astray when the "bad guys" were promising to make life better for werewolves while Remus was fighting for the "good" side that made no such promises.

So no, we can't place all the blame on Remus. He was a kid, too, thrown into a war immediately after school. He knew that he was the only werewolf on the Order's side, and the weight of that must have been overwhelming for REMUS, the coward with a predisposition for running away from his problems (a trait of his that Sirius was probably well aware of, further cementing his belief that Remus could be the traitor).

Remus believing that Sirius could have betrayed James is one thing I really struggle to get my mind around. I like to imagine that some part of him doubted his guilt, but as a werewolf living alone in a society that hates werewolves, recently bereaved of every person he had ever loved, I don't think there was anything Remus could have done even if he was in the right state of mind to do it. Especially not when Dumbledore, the man Remus looked up to the most and the one he would be most likely to address these doubts with, also seemed convinced of Sirius' guilt.

The way the fandom tries to blame one or the other (these days, usually Sirius) for what happened to James and Lily is frustrating. They are both very flawed characters, and they both have things they need to answer for.

I hope this is coherent. I feel like I just rambled in circles.

[rouge-the-bat]

I kinda want to start readingn yu yu hakusho (manga first bc thats how i roll) sooo would u be interested in pitching the plot and whatnot for me? I know this is smth I could just google buuut, Id like to get some info straight from the best source :3 (a nd fan whos likes to ramble)

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 OKAY SO idk what all the differences are between the manga and the anime (havent read the manga yet but i want to eventually) but yu yu hakusho starts off with, from the very get-go, the protagonist dying! yup, main character just dead right at the start, and the next part is a plot for him going through a test from the spirit world to get his life back! its actually pretty emotional, because yusuke (the protag) didnt want to come back until he realize how much the people hes closed to cared about him, but throughout the show he makes more friends and realizes more of what he wants to live for (while theyre all constantly risking their lives in battles jfkdjfj) and becomes way more well off by the end of the show.

a lot of the show is yusuke taking various cases from spirit world as their designated spirit detective, fighting demons and sometimes humans to protect the world through the use of his spirit gun power! theres a whole lot of excellent humor along with intense moments, and i cant pinpoint exactly how they do it but even the funny stuff happening during serious moments dont really retract from each other, unlike how some other series it can feel like awkward tone shifts.

yusuke is a snarky son of a bitch, absolute delinquent that loves to kick ass. hes defintely not the brightest, but he makes up for that in sheer willpower (and luck lol). hes not a pure goody boy protag, hes a lovable asshole!

kuwabara is similar to yusuke in being a delinquent that loves to fight, but he has much more of an honor code and actually tries to be polite and really sweet sometimes (especially to his big crush in the show) despite his usual brash loudness lol. hes the himbo of the group! he also has a kitten he loves :3

kurama is one of my top favorite characters ever (and my kin) because hes just so??? interesting??? hes literally the best character in the show to put in a situation. any of them. so none of this is spoilers bc this is all shit he straight up tells as soon as he shows up in like, episode 7 or something: hes a fox demon thief that almost was killed, but he managed to transfer his spirit into an unborn human child and was raised by his human mother, whos kindness ended up changing him from cruel and ruthless, to a much kinder person. hes a interesting mix of characteristics, where he can equally be the kindest of the group, but he can also still be the most ruthless. plus they really play up the pretty boy factor and his main weapon is a rose whip hes fucking great. also despite him being a lot kinder now hes still defintely an asshole sometimes and loves messing with people bc hes still a fox at heart.

THEN HIEI. HIEI HIEI HIEI HIEI I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SOSOOOOOO MUCH. him and kurama are partners (demon partners but gay partners too bc i say so, and also theres no one else hiei compliments so much like he does with kurama and theyre like 90% of the time together and kurama teases hiei SO MUCH and theyre just adorable okay,) hes my hearthrob trope of angsty edgy guy whos so tsundere about actually caring about people but hes actually SO soft deep down and just needs more love in his life. and is super hot. literally anytime this dude gets into battle he often either rips his shirt off or his shirt rips itself off by the sheer power of his fucking energy i love him. hes such a badass. and he has nice tits. and hes soooo soso sososososoososo cute he has the most adorable surprised faces and hfjjjdjfk OKAY ill try to hold off the gay a little bit to actually explain his character. hes such a rude little asshole and is often the quiet one at the edge of the room thatll snark you if he catches you being dumb. hes such a tsundere about having friends and caring about them but even yusuke can see through his shit and calls him out on it and says hiei will be there when they need him. short angry man gets friends who he cares for and who cares for him.

BTW THO there is some Iffy Moments in the show id recommend checking out the doesthedogdie site for various trigger stuff if u think ud need it !!! and unfortunately the anime often has a LOT of flashing lights so if that would affect you then you may have to stick to the manga, or maybe theres someone whos edited the show to be safe for photosensitive folks?? do ppl do that? idk. but still despite some flaws in the series, the characters are just so !!!!!! [SQUEEZES THEM LIKE A SQUISHY TOY] im literally so obsessed with them theyre just a fun cast with the best interactions aaa theyre like family to me (bc im kurama kinnie)

ALSO !!! IF U DO CHECK IT OUT FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME ABOUT STUFF !!!!!!

[chaoticfandomthot]

Started watching Mouse and at first I wasn't going to talk about it on tumblr to avoid getting spoiled but i have sooo many thoughts so i'll ramble under the cut ignore me

DO NOT SPOIL ME

Okay so i just finished episode 7 which ends with the mouse and the vague flashes of memory, right?

And i've always found it weird that Yohan would have been abandonned to a family and then picked back up by his mom, like that didn't make sense to me

I was led astray by the mom choking him reveal but like why would she even be there? Was she the wife and she remarried? No we would've heard of the other guy and having 2 other kids? She wouldn't risk it i think

So! Here are my theories as of now and a short explaination for each:

1- yohan's mom did a switcharoo somehow

->supporting evidence : the genetic papers yohan hid (i think it was proof he's not the killer's kid), the mom's weird looks at Bareum (could be just like 'damn my kid almost killed that guy but i doubt), the weird flashes of the mouse thing

I think the mom heard about the mouse thing and freaked, tried to kill him but couldnt and decided fuck it im exchanging my child or putting him up for adoption and picking up a new one. Sadly she has terrible luck

2- Bareum has not been switched, is the kid of the other mom (actually shown in the picture) and just repressed his memories of the mouse incident, nothing else weird happened to him and the genetic thing is a different thing altogether

->the most logical but i think they're putting too many pieces down for it to be so easy? Idk might be overthinking this show (def am)

3- a little out there tbh but my first one was a switcharoo so i think its too late to try to appear logical; bareum is actually responsible for his parent's death and in the process of whatever happened he lost his memories and his murderous tendencies got repressed with them

-> idk i just thought about that and why the hell not at this point

Random thoughts; the kid pf the mouse incident seemed to really enjoy it while the kid of the fish, dog and siblings seemed to do it more out of revenge/duty/lack of giving any fucks. To me that makes it clear it's not the same person, but it could also just be the development of being abused following the first incident.. i still think if the mouse kid was the siblings kid he would've looked to be enjoying the deaths more? Idk this post is a hellish mess and i cant wait to laugh at myself once im further along

Development theories that are just about future things i think will happen;

- while investigating i think bareum will get more and more into the mind of the killer until he can't repress his own urges or gets too curious and tries it himself

If above happens; might eventually get a hannibal type situation of helping investigate his own crimes and enjoying either figuring it out so easily or leading other people in circles

This is all because i need traces of my theory for how much i figured out / was wrong about once im further along

[littleonekitten]

does anyone else’s depression hit at night time? I can be fine… all day, until after midnight and then for some reason just.. all of the sad comes out. I don’t know what it’s from, or why, but it’s just tears flowing and that achy feeling in your heart and then the pit in your stomach and the shake and pain in your head from anxiety.

Why is it that woman have to always overcompensate in relationships- let me explain before I get canceled. Females, have you ever noticed the moment a man takes interest in you, or your talking/ flirting, and you go out a few times and you genuinely have a great time and you think you like him then BAM. A red flag, it’s something small but it bothers you… but you just push it away because “well there’s other green flags, and he seems nice” and all of this other stuff.. TO MAKE HIM LIKE YOU. I’ll share this story, it was the first few dates with my ex and it was great, he was nice, and polite and drove safe and all of that.. until he made a sexist joke, a border line woman hating joke.. and I say there and looked at him and I laughed. I CANT BELIVE I LAUGHED. Did I think it was funny? No. Did I agree with it? Absolutely not and I wanted to punch him after it. But it was fine right? It was only one joke. Then it became a few more.. my laughs decreased and I told him I don’t think they are funny- “but it’s just a joke��� when it’s not, there’s an underlying misogynistic truth and some CLEAR toxic masculinity. He stopped doing it around me.. until we were with his best friend, and they would constantly still make those jokes.. and you know what I would do? Laugh. Because I wanted him to like me and I wanted to be polite even though he knew how I felt about it. So why do we do that? Why do we have to make men like us all of the time? Is it because we like the attention or feeling of validation? We tie into knots for no reason, and for some reason if there’s ever a red flag small enough we ignore it… and we continue our relationship with that person. Why is it in a relationship our standards start out so high, then begin to lower? But when we keep those standards then it’s “unrealistic” I’m feeling really defeated about that, yes.. my ex had some great qualities- but looking back on it there were so many things I literally ignored because my standards then came a little above bare minimum while also having my own wants and needs- while also THE BARE MINIMUM was so hard to accommodate or meet because that requires putting in the work. Why is it when it comes to relationships in my luck it’s always wanting to work for each other and save the relationship it’s always my partner just can’t do because “it’s not them, or who they are”. If it’s something small, even if you don’t understand why and can create a happier relationship and I’m bringing that energy to that conversation as well why not?- anyways, that turned into a ramble, but basically why is it that our standards lower and we hold ourselves fs less accountable while in a relationship then as soon as we get out it’s so easy to get over someone. As soon as you think of one red flag thing it just gives the ick and validates your self worth.

My healing process has been weirdly okay. Like I’m okay, I’m not sad, angry or disappointed. I don’t want him in my life. I’m content with that. I’m finding new ways to heal and keep myself busy while also taking care of myself. The thought of him or being with him gives me so much anxiety that it can send me into like a pre panic attack state. So now it’s how to get rid of the thoughts of him. I’ve done a lot of work on that but he will still pop in my head a few times a day. I don’t know why I’m as okay as I am. I loved him, I thought I was gonna marry him, but for some reason it’s like my walls go back up and I’m going to have some more relationship tramua and trust issues for the next partner. Which I’m not looking forward to having that conversation. I think part of me is sad that I’m okay. I don’t think I ever give myself to grieve. If I do, I know I will fall down a hole, and not take care of myself, if I don’t let me grieve then I don’t have to deal with it. If I give myself fake confidence and “badass bitch” energy I don’t have to worry about it. I feel like it can be such a toxic thing but it’s the only tool I have.

[branmuffins22]

i actually wrote a bit of a ramble stemming from this piece almost a year ago, long after i had come out to my online friends, but before i was out to my family and the world at large. as i think it must hold some kind of value, i may as well share it:

as for [this article], one thing id like to bring to attention is a quote from the college classroom part: "It is interesting to see where people insist proximity to a subject makes one informed, and where they insist it makes them biased. It is interesting that they think it’s their call to make." something about it really stuck with me since i first read it ages ago, especially as i went on to encounter more situations like those described. ive come across those same fallacious false dichotomies more than enough, even just in talking to my mom alone. its getting more and more annoying every time she insists that either her sex or her age or her marriage or her maternity gives her total knowledge of these things, of "both" sides of these things, as though my own experience of growing up means nothing compared to "how she (thinks she) raised me". i told her once that a male family member probably took so long to speak up about an issue hed been having because he was afraid of the backlash hed be faced with. being "weak" for not being able to endure or overcome it, or "stupid" for trying to hide or ignore it. seen as either vulnerable and unmanly, or prideful and manly in a bad way. or worse, all of the above. her response was that he shouldve "manned up and said something, or just grown a pair and dealt with it", as though either of those were an obvious or available solution, and as though he hadnt just got done trying both. i was too upset to properly explain that, for those of us unfortunate enough to be raised male, any form of needing or asking for help is taboo, every hardship is a competition, and every failure is a personal failure. i tried anyways, briefly, but didnt get anywhere. to her, "a man his age should be capable of [anything and everything]." but i know im not. i know my brothers arent. i know my dad isnt. i know nobody is. i know we've all been faking it, because we have to. and she bought the act, and mistook it for the truth. and so have far too many others. and, personally, growing tired of faking it just to fit that unrealistic mold has been one of those things that convinced me to transition, not that she'd know.

but then, i wonder where my own biases lie. theres something to be said for "fake it till you make it", and my moms ideas about "men" obviously arent unanimously agreed upon, pervasive though they are. i still have yet to socially transition, or even experience a single social situation as a perceived female (at least, as far as i know, though i havent had many opportunities). i wasnt raised as my mom was, i havent been exposed to the same teachings she was. i cant really know how she comes to the conclusions she does, just as she cant know how i come to the conclusions i do, or how that family member came to the conclusions he did. i have a pretty good idea of what "masculinity" means, at least to me. the fact that i dont want it for myself anymore doesnt really change the fact that i grew up surrounded and defined by it. but "femininity" has been, and continues to be, nebulous, to me. my best descriptors for it are only opposites to masculine ideals. my aspirations for it often feel like they only come from a "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" mindset, like once i get there, im going to wish i were back where i started, because all i can ever see are the weeds. i have yet to experience the apparently pervasive harassment, belittling, mistrust, and such, that are often depicted as feminine struggles. i cant know what thats like yet, i can only trust others who say its bad, and dread those looming threats as i try to escape the problems i am familiar with. and right now, im climbing that fence. i still put up a cold front when i need to, and often even when i dont need to. but i also try not to stop myself from being more open and expressive, especially here [in the discord server this was written in], where ive long since come out. and ive spent some time off the grass entirely, watching the birds fly overhead, to a certain extent wishing for that too. but im still climbing, i need to see for myself what the other side is like to decide where (or if) i want to settle.

some of the people who call themselves "trans allies" on this website could do with reading that article about not coming out the closet before they speak on the topic of trans women & gender in general

[hungbytheirhalosx]

For the first time in somewhat of a long time i thought about cutting again. Like not exactly like a deep thought about it but a “omg i wanna s**t my wrists” but tuen in my mind i saw the image, like the image of my hands holding a blade over my wrists and going through with the action and i just had to stop and sit for a moment and i was just I’m a kind of shock i guess because i haven’t had that kind of though with that much seriousness behind it before. Ive had the not serious “uhg imma s**t my wrists” because i don’t wanna do the thing i have to do but not for a while have i had the though and had actual almost intention behind it. I could feel the tears like forming behind my eyes and just complete like i don’t even know how to explain the feeling. And this isn’t something i talk about with anyone. Theres only one person who wasn’t family that actually acknowledged it and said “no more of this” and that person right now feels like the only one i would be comfortable telling this experience to but i haven’t talked to them in like 2 years i think so i cant tell them. Im rambling because i need to get it all out but wow this was an unexpected turn i didn’t foresee at all.

[ihateeverything101]

i want to cry. i want to scream. i want to punch. what the fuck. i cant explain. nothing happened. but wtf am i supposed to do. i'm not happy. this is a legit question, could i move in with you? i font think it's healthy and i would prefer to be on my own but i can't afford that right now and i don't even have a car to my name. i feel like i need to leave but it makes me physically react whenever i think about it, nauseous and heart beat racing. i left work early today because of it, i felt like i was going to throw up. it could be for a random reason but it is hard for me to eat currently, i fell hungry and my stomach will grumble but i am falling back into my old ways of ignoring those things.

it is ultimately you decision but i want to add you on snapchat, it is bold and risky but i don't care anymore. i have it set in my head i need to leave him but i have no idea how to do that. i don't want to quit my job but i can't move out of state and keep the job. i know id be able to find another job but it is so difficult, i am scared to leave because my brain is saying, what if it is worse if you leave? he isn't perfect but does make me happy in some ways... idk. if you truly want to know the full scope of things i will tell you but it might hurt you. idk.

let me know. i hope you got some good sleep and work goes decently. i love you. it feels kinda crazy to say that but i'm not lying. i love you like you were my family and i want what is best for you, when we're together i wasn't the best at putting that energy forward and i was abusive. i know you don't want to admit it but i feel i was. i'm rambling but. if we ever are together again or even friends, i want to treat you like the sun, the priority, and never make you feel any diffewnt.

i'm rambling and drunk and in a bad spot, i think i've decided to leave him but what worth more? my emotional energy or my actual time? i want to stay with him until i get my own personal car because that will make it easier for me to do what i need. if i left now i don't have a car or much money to my name.

now im feeling insecure,.. do you actually read everything i have to say or do you only skim it? it doesn't matter i know you have a busy life and i truly want you to be fufilled. i think we are soulmates, i don't want to mistreat you but i think about you all the time and i feel safe around you even though we've been apart for so long and i really don't know you anymore. again, im rambling. let me know if you want to know my reddit, i don't hold back there and there is probably things you don't want to know or hear abuoutt so i wont be upset at all if you do not want to add me there.

i hope you have a good work day and eat food and make sure to drink plenty of water!! 🥰🥺

[mathieubellamont]

man in relation to that last post, and its not really related to this blog outside of it but its weighing on my mind

ive seen two things lately about audiences and content creators, specifically those of the Edgy kind. And, as a disclaimer, i am both LGBT and mixed race and oh, also disabled, and i am not saying “yes their content is offensive But you should care about them more” like ofc im gonna care more about the people who are hurt by the spreading of harmful shit but. anyway

whats been on my mind is the fact that these creators create, with all their edginess and their discarding of feelings for Facts and whatnot forms these audiences that, even if mild in their reactions, have and hold no place for feelings, and people who they disagree with. Even the ones who just have “Comedic” content thats laughing at minorities and whatnot, it breeds things in the audience - and attracts peole who’re already infected by it - that focus on laughing and making fun of people and tearing people down who they just mildly disagree with. We all knew that, but specifically whats weighing on my mind is that........... When you do that, theres no backing down. If you realise youve been wrong somewhere and the people youre attacking have been right, if you realise you dont want to make this content anymore, if you realise you’re tired or stressed, or the environment youve created has gotten too toxic, how are you going to back down? People look to you for their vicious entertainment, people look to you for things to tear apart however lightly, to Roast or to offend or to seriously hurt, and if you arent providing fresh bodies to that audience, theyll take it from you. You have to either be sure when you go into creating edgy content that youll be doing this for the rest of your life, or youre ok with being the subject of what youre inflicting on others when you stop. That, or you have to hope to god that your audience gets bored of you before you call it quits

like...... It all boils down to this. Edginess attracts two main kinds of people, people who are clueless about the harm theyre doing and looking to parrot others/who want to make people uncomfortable or upset/who want to make people feel like they feel, thats one category, and the other main category is genuinely fucked up people who like to see the hurt and the offence it causes, who want women/other minorities to be uncomfortable at best or unwelcome or feel in danger at worst, people who show through their humour that theyre willing to act in ways that hurt people for fun. The first category, people who dont get the harm it causes and just want to shock people (which, as a person clueless to microaggressions and racism and why things actually offend people could either be just surprise Or serious harm they label as shock), theyre clueless about the power youre breeding in them and the cluelessness, but the second group of people are actively harmful. Either way, when you finally need your audience to be understanding, when you need to post your “my mental health is going downhill and i cant ignore it anymore” video or post, youre stuck with these people, and obviously others outside those categories, but youre stuck with them. The people who are willing to beat down already beaten down minorities? Who reduce everyone to a set of stereotypes and if they disagree with any quality you have youre their target? Who think doxxing and swatting are funny, who think harrassment and death threats are just edgy and, well, you know edgy is totally fine right?? Edgy is good right?? what are you going to do?

Maybe when youre in your hour of need your audience will have a change of heart, but if you attract an audience who follow you for and approve of your disregard for peoples needs, who make fun of and attact people saying they need help (”i suffer at the hands of oppression” “im disabled” “im a targeted minority” “ive suffered from harassment” etc) what do you think theyre going to do to you when you dont want to play the game anymore? 

Like theres a leap in logic here between being an edgy content creator and definitely reaching a point where you wont do it anymore. Yes, maybe youll be edgy for the rest of your life....... But as someone who was an edgy teenager slinging around slurs constantly and racist and homophobic and transphobic shit...... The end to that was the singular logical conclusion for me as someone trying to be a good person. When you actually learn about these things, or when you start to live it as an lgbt person or you reconnect with your nonwhite half, or you have a family member who is assaulted, or a friend who finally confesses their online harassment and the severe damage its done to them, and you have an audience waiting for you to tell them who to laugh at/treat like shit if they want to because well, theyre wrong and stupid arent they, why should anyone treat them well - thats the conclusion a lot of these people take from seeing people be made the butt of jokes.......... What are you going to do?

Ive always tried to make this blog a mentally and emotionally safe place. Ive made mistakes, but ive always tried to own up to them and learn from. Like, yeah, theres been some racist shit on this blog before, probably some transphobic shit too, ive had this blog since i just turned 17 in dec. 2013....... Its important for my followers that i cultivate a place that is good for them, that isnt stressful, that focuses on good content or. me having fun in video games lmao. and why is that good? well, because i want to. Its not necessarily the right thing to do nor the wrong thing to do, it just Is morally. But when it comes to cultivating an audience based on constantly shocking people, and making people uncomfortable, and making innocent people scared to exist or ashamed of their existence or hurt because theyre reminded that what they are is disgusting to people like you, whether you mean it or not? Thats where I feel things like this become a moral choice. Like, first of all, even if youre doing it jokingly, if youre having fun pretending to throw punches and kicks even if the point is to laugh at you, you run the risk of people getting hit. Thats why we dont do that in public spaces. When youre jokingly throwing metaphorical punches even if the joke is that youre being an arse purposely, youre in that corridor, and the traffic in that corridor is every single person that sees your post, possibly hundreds, possibly thousands, and so the chance that youre going to hit people - many people - is huge. But to get back to whats on my mind, even if you dont give a shit about all the people you hit accidentally or on purpose, when you train an audience to expect you to feed them meat, when you stop feeding them meat theyll still be looking at you, and if theyre hungry enough - entitled enough, angry enough, uncaring enough, tired of life and other people enough, unknowing enough, ready enough to bring the fight to other people - theyre going to pick at you if not take chunks off you if not tear you to shreds. When you call people who think shock humour and hurting other people is acceptable, well, thats what youve done right?

You dont need to make a blog like mine thats purpose is to be safe. You dont need to actively try to make sure people feel like they fit in with your content, you dont need to create a space for other people to enjoy at all, maybe you just wanna do what makes you laugh. But the less space we hold for people to hurt people the less people are going to get hurt, shocker i know, but also the less harmful people’s anger we are unknowingly feeding, and the less fucking clueless kids who are going to grow up parroting things theyve heard and never understood, that truly evil people understand, and the less content creators in the future we’re going to have to dig out of the hole they back themselves into

anyway. odd post, its done now