chronically-j - Tumblr blog

[chronically-j]

being chronically ill/having chronic pain is sitting in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about how many people boticed you were in pain before youd ever mentioned it. yesterday, mom kept offering for me to sit down, for her to push me on her walker thing for a bit. and it just. idk. on one had. its like, ok im jot faking this, other people see it, im not a hypochondriac. on the ither hand it sucks that my 52yo mother was offering me, her 21yo child, her walker because she could see how much pain i was in. and we didnt even do a bunch for me to be in pain anyways, we just went to some stores! and yet, i hurt so bad, inalmost cried on the drive home. i was staring straight out the window focusing all of my energy on not crying because i hate showing how much it actually hurts. i hate it. i hate it.

(i wanna clarify im not upset mom offered, im glad she did, i ended up needing it multiple times, im upset that i needed it at all and that it was visible to those around me)

[chronically-j]

the dr said its not pots! i do think hes basing that on the more extreme forms of pots, but regardless im taking it lol. he did prescribe me a beta blocker to help with the hr and blood pressure stuff but im going to start on a super low dose since im scared of meds, and slowly move up until i know what the right dose is

[chronically-j]

fuck im laying on my side and my hip hurts so bad

[chronically-j]

its literally already helping. my arm doesnt hurt out of the sling for at least 5 mins, it comes back after that, but it’s definitely helping so this great

ive been super busy for the past week, and last night while i slept i hurt my shoulder and now it feels slightly too loose. i made a makeshift sling from a pants and im gonna gry to find a scarf soon too to do that. i have to go to walmart though since i might just get a cheap one there if they have one. idk. all i know is it hurts unless i pull my shoulder up or hold my arm behind mh back, its weird

[chronically-j]

sling acquired! im taking it off for a few mins every ince in awhile because it feels like something i should do but idk, if its not better tomorrow ill call my dr

ive been super busy for the past week, and last night while i slept i hurt my shoulder and now it feels slightly too loose. i made a makeshift sling from a pants and im gonna gry to find a scarf soon too to do that. i have to go to walmart though since i might just get a cheap one there if they have one. idk. all i know is it hurts unless i pull my shoulder up or hold my arm behind mh back, its weird

[chronically-j]

ive been super busy for the past week, and last night while i slept i hurt my shoulder and now it feels slightly too loose. i made a makeshift sling from a pants and im gonna gry to find a scarf soon too to do that. i have to go to walmart though since i might just get a cheap one there if they have one. idk. all i know is it hurts unless i pull my shoulder up or hold my arm behind mh back, its weird

[chronically-j]

my hip wasnt too bad today but for some reason my whole right leg hurt today, its better now but the hip pain is setting in again

[chronically-j]

i thought i was in the clear after the concert and i wouldnt get a migraine but i can feel one starting so lets hope it goes away fast

[chronically-j]

being visibly disabled is such an odd feeling. i brought my cane to the hozier concert, and no one had been rude or anything like i was prepared for. i dropped my cane getting to my seat and someone immediately grabbed it and gave it back. like i expected to be treated bad because of all of the stories ive seen online

[chronically-j]

i love my friend

we are going to a concert and i asked if they could help me make shre i dont lose my cane (they know about the intense memory issues and also that a cane is needed rn) and they said yes! they also offered to help with any meds while we are out, they are amazing

[chronically-j]

the appointment is officially made! november! thats when i (start) finding out if its eds! then i can figure out how to fix it!

not me crying in bed because i just looked up the eds specialist i got referred to and he has such good reviews, i really hope that even if its not eds those reviews mean he will find out whats actually wrong

i also got the cardiology follow up made so hopefully ill know once and for all whether i have pots or not

[chronically-j]

it still hurts to move it in like, a joint test circle thing, idk how to write it, but i can move it in the circle now which i couldnt do earlier so its better

i hurt my foot last night while i popped my ankle, and all day today i havent been able to move it up and down properly, but i finally got it popped the way its supposed to and bow it actually moves properly

[chronically-j]

i hurt my foot last night while i popped my ankle, and all day today i havent been able to move it up and down properly, but i finally got it popped the way its supposed to and bow it actually moves properly

[chronically-j]

i hate temperature intolerance its 70 degrees in here why am i shivering

[chronically-j]

can they invent a mobility aid that helps with the joint pain & also does NOT cause different joint pain in a different area from use

[chronically-j]

i have a weird sleep schedule already that gets worse during flare ups (aka rn) and it sucks, but yeah i feel SO guilty

anyone else ever feel guilty for sleeping long even when your body really needed it and you didn't actually need to be doing anything else? I slept in a little bit and now I'm like "ahh, an hour and a half of productivity, gone!" even though I know the sleep was more than necessary to get anything at all done today

[chronically-j]

not me crying in bed because i just looked up the eds specialist i got referred to and he has such good reviews, i really hope that even if its not eds those reviews mean he will find out whats actually wrong

i also got the cardiology follow up made so hopefully ill know once and for all whether i have pots or not