#oof. its almost 5am

[wastemanjohn]

🔥 i don't have topic in mind just go off

oof that's dangerous lol. i'll leave the heavy unpopular opinions for another time.

so i'll go with a softer one - cw frank poo talk

people who say they have IBS bc they take a long shit after a heavy meal, or more than one shit a day: talk to me when you've attended your friend's wedding (as a bridesmaid no less) with like the worst stomach pain of your life, belly ballooned out so far you have to pose for pretty photos while looking eleven months pregnant, having to run to the bathroom at least once an hour but you just CANNOT for the life of you take that shit. so it sits in there and gurgles especially loudly while your friend's dad is giving an emotional wedding speech to the point where people around the table are looking at you like you can fucking control your gastric system singing the song of its people and you end the day feeling exhausted and feverish and STILL can't pass the damn thing. you spend the entire celebratory breakfast the next morning in the bathroom in this tiny cafe where its so obvious where you are and what you're (trying to) do, struggling through the two hour train ride home with cramps like hell, get home and go straight to bed and take five laxatives and pray for that shit to pass (literally) - still no joy, just more cramps, gurgling and what feels like the crown of a pineapple nudging at your arsehole. so you literally almost crawl to the pharmacist across the street and beg for something to get you going. pharmacist takes one look at you and goes into the back and silently places a box of sachets on the counter, tells you to take one "and wait." doesn't explain what they are, you're so desperate you don't care, you go home and mix that up with some robinson's squash and then go back to bed. and so intensifies the cramps, so grows the pineapple, and you feel so fucking ill you're convinced at this point that you're dying, so you look at the packet again and see that mr edgelord pharmacist has given you a PRESCRIPTION ONLY BOWEL CLEANSE intended to be given to people the night before a colonoscopy. AND IT STILL ISNT FUCKING WORKING.

so at this point you call 111 crying bc you're convinced the pineapple arse baby is going to explode inside you and you're going to die of poo sepsis which is just a really unsexy way to go and you can't deal with that being your cause of death, and they tell you to get yourself to a&e right away which you do at like 5am at this point, so you get an uber to the hospital and the receptionist TRIES to tell you to go home and wait for it to pass but you're not having any of it (your memory is fuzzy aside from being taken into the back and pacing around wailing bc you can't sit down, have you ever tried to sit down on a pineapple arse baby, it's like what i imagine using a potato as a butt plug without lube would feel like), and you are probably left pacing and wailing for like 2 hours, bc this is the UK at 6am on a sunday and there's probably one doctor in the entire hospital who (understandably) doesn't think your pineapple arse baby is comparatively important; and your vitals are all fine which buys you probably another hour of pacing and wailing, and when the doctor finally comes through they brusquely finger your arse without even buying you a snack first and declare that "the rectum feels empty" like you're here for fun, and then return with a box of movicol (powdered laxatives) and tell you to go home. in what is possibly your finest and coolest moment to date you beg for an enema because you already sank a half pack of movicol (you always have a supply in your IBS cupboard bc you have one of those) and a prescription only fucking bowel cleanse and the doctor looks at you like you've come to a&e with a cut finger and tells you "it's just your IBS, wait for it to pass and see your GP tomorrow."

so you go home in an uber crying your racing heart out and sitting on your thighs while the concerned driver asks if you want to go back to the hospital and you declare no because its JUST YOUR IBS AND YOURE OVERREACTING (you may have told the driver this) and you crawl back up the stairs to your flat and go to bed and wait to die

three hours later the things my bathroom saw - well, sensitive readers may find the details disturbing so i'll omit them. but the pineapple arse baby passed over a period of about four long hours and i did not leave that bathroom the same person i was when i came in. i am actually only half joking. this was such a horrendous experience i actually had a nightmare or two about it. and now every time i have a bad ibs-c flare up, i get so anxious about this happening again i have had actual panic attacks.

... do all of this THEN come tell me you have IBS. take some imodium for your carbonara, white wine and gelato induced loose stool and stfu you little bitch.

[mathieubellamont]

man in relation to that last post, and its not really related to this blog outside of it but its weighing on my mind

ive seen two things lately about audiences and content creators, specifically those of the Edgy kind. And, as a disclaimer, i am both LGBT and mixed race and oh, also disabled, and i am not saying “yes their content is offensive But you should care about them more” like ofc im gonna care more about the people who are hurt by the spreading of harmful shit but. anyway

whats been on my mind is the fact that these creators create, with all their edginess and their discarding of feelings for Facts and whatnot forms these audiences that, even if mild in their reactions, have and hold no place for feelings, and people who they disagree with. Even the ones who just have “Comedic” content thats laughing at minorities and whatnot, it breeds things in the audience - and attracts peole who’re already infected by it - that focus on laughing and making fun of people and tearing people down who they just mildly disagree with. We all knew that, but specifically whats weighing on my mind is that........... When you do that, theres no backing down. If you realise youve been wrong somewhere and the people youre attacking have been right, if you realise you dont want to make this content anymore, if you realise you’re tired or stressed, or the environment youve created has gotten too toxic, how are you going to back down? People look to you for their vicious entertainment, people look to you for things to tear apart however lightly, to Roast or to offend or to seriously hurt, and if you arent providing fresh bodies to that audience, theyll take it from you. You have to either be sure when you go into creating edgy content that youll be doing this for the rest of your life, or youre ok with being the subject of what youre inflicting on others when you stop. That, or you have to hope to god that your audience gets bored of you before you call it quits

like...... It all boils down to this. Edginess attracts two main kinds of people, people who are clueless about the harm theyre doing and looking to parrot others/who want to make people uncomfortable or upset/who want to make people feel like they feel, thats one category, and the other main category is genuinely fucked up people who like to see the hurt and the offence it causes, who want women/other minorities to be uncomfortable at best or unwelcome or feel in danger at worst, people who show through their humour that theyre willing to act in ways that hurt people for fun. The first category, people who dont get the harm it causes and just want to shock people (which, as a person clueless to microaggressions and racism and why things actually offend people could either be just surprise Or serious harm they label as shock), theyre clueless about the power youre breeding in them and the cluelessness, but the second group of people are actively harmful. Either way, when you finally need your audience to be understanding, when you need to post your “my mental health is going downhill and i cant ignore it anymore” video or post, youre stuck with these people, and obviously others outside those categories, but youre stuck with them. The people who are willing to beat down already beaten down minorities? Who reduce everyone to a set of stereotypes and if they disagree with any quality you have youre their target? Who think doxxing and swatting are funny, who think harrassment and death threats are just edgy and, well, you know edgy is totally fine right?? Edgy is good right?? what are you going to do?

Maybe when youre in your hour of need your audience will have a change of heart, but if you attract an audience who follow you for and approve of your disregard for peoples needs, who make fun of and attact people saying they need help (”i suffer at the hands of oppression” “im disabled” “im a targeted minority” “ive suffered from harassment” etc) what do you think theyre going to do to you when you dont want to play the game anymore? 

Like theres a leap in logic here between being an edgy content creator and definitely reaching a point where you wont do it anymore. Yes, maybe youll be edgy for the rest of your life....... But as someone who was an edgy teenager slinging around slurs constantly and racist and homophobic and transphobic shit...... The end to that was the singular logical conclusion for me as someone trying to be a good person. When you actually learn about these things, or when you start to live it as an lgbt person or you reconnect with your nonwhite half, or you have a family member who is assaulted, or a friend who finally confesses their online harassment and the severe damage its done to them, and you have an audience waiting for you to tell them who to laugh at/treat like shit if they want to because well, theyre wrong and stupid arent they, why should anyone treat them well - thats the conclusion a lot of these people take from seeing people be made the butt of jokes.......... What are you going to do?

Ive always tried to make this blog a mentally and emotionally safe place. Ive made mistakes, but ive always tried to own up to them and learn from. Like, yeah, theres been some racist shit on this blog before, probably some transphobic shit too, ive had this blog since i just turned 17 in dec. 2013....... Its important for my followers that i cultivate a place that is good for them, that isnt stressful, that focuses on good content or. me having fun in video games lmao. and why is that good? well, because i want to. Its not necessarily the right thing to do nor the wrong thing to do, it just Is morally. But when it comes to cultivating an audience based on constantly shocking people, and making people uncomfortable, and making innocent people scared to exist or ashamed of their existence or hurt because theyre reminded that what they are is disgusting to people like you, whether you mean it or not? Thats where I feel things like this become a moral choice. Like, first of all, even if youre doing it jokingly, if youre having fun pretending to throw punches and kicks even if the point is to laugh at you, you run the risk of people getting hit. Thats why we dont do that in public spaces. When youre jokingly throwing metaphorical punches even if the joke is that youre being an arse purposely, youre in that corridor, and the traffic in that corridor is every single person that sees your post, possibly hundreds, possibly thousands, and so the chance that youre going to hit people - many people - is huge. But to get back to whats on my mind, even if you dont give a shit about all the people you hit accidentally or on purpose, when you train an audience to expect you to feed them meat, when you stop feeding them meat theyll still be looking at you, and if theyre hungry enough - entitled enough, angry enough, uncaring enough, tired of life and other people enough, unknowing enough, ready enough to bring the fight to other people - theyre going to pick at you if not take chunks off you if not tear you to shreds. When you call people who think shock humour and hurting other people is acceptable, well, thats what youve done right?

You dont need to make a blog like mine thats purpose is to be safe. You dont need to actively try to make sure people feel like they fit in with your content, you dont need to create a space for other people to enjoy at all, maybe you just wanna do what makes you laugh. But the less space we hold for people to hurt people the less people are going to get hurt, shocker i know, but also the less harmful people’s anger we are unknowingly feeding, and the less fucking clueless kids who are going to grow up parroting things theyve heard and never understood, that truly evil people understand, and the less content creators in the future we’re going to have to dig out of the hole they back themselves into

anyway. odd post, its done now

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Tamaki, Shoji and Bakugo:

Domestic Life with Their Wives

Tamaki Amajiki x wife! Reader; Mezou Shoji x wife! Reader; Katsuki Bakugo x Wife! Reader

Warnings: pure fluff

A/N: This is a request from tendou anon!

Tamaki Amajiki

Most insecure husband award goes to 🏆

Seriously this man does not understand how he pulled a beauty like you

But he legit thanks the heavens above every single day he gets to be in your presence

You don't have to ask this man to help you with anything

Dishes ✔️

Laundry ✔️

If you have kids ✔️ ✔️

As a pro-hero he works alot of nights so he knows you shoulder alot of the responsibilities in the home

For instance, you've just given birth to your second baby and you're exhausted

Your two yesr old toddler is also teething which means that not only are your nights miserable but your days as well

You've been texting Tamaki all night because you are just exhausted

Man feels awful having to return to work so soon after the baby came but unfortunately crime doesn't wait for paternity leave 🥺

However, as his sift comes to an end at 5am, he will drive through your favorite coffee place, pick up your beverage and bring it home

He walks in to hear the TV on and you sound asleep with your newborn on your chest

Your toddler is happily watching cartoons while mom rests her eyes

First thing he does, takes a picture 📱

New wallpaper 🥰

You're toddler is so excited to see your husband

They scream and you jolt awake, full mom style

"IM AWAKE, IM AWAKE WHERES THE EMERGENCY?!?!"- You 😳

Your husband just laughs as he lifts your newborn from your chest and kiss you

"Go grab a shower baby, I bought you some coffee! Then I figured I'd make breakfast and we could eat then all take a nap"- he said

You 👉🏻😐😳🥺😫 marry me!!!!

Tamaki 👉🏻 we are already married by ight 🤨

Seriously 10/10 husband material 😘

Mezou Shoji

This man... THIS FREAKING MAN 😫

Literally such an angel I can't

He drinks women's respect juice on the daily and he's an all star husband

Having multiple appendages is so helpful around the house let me tell you 👏🏻

Mans is cooking and washing dishes at the same time

He's vacuuming and dusting

And let me just say, when your first baby comes... UGH

He's an all star dad!

It's the middle of the night and you've been struggling to get your little one to sleep for hours

You've gone into the living room because your husband works the next day

And you are an amazing wife 🥰

You are dead tired and you've all but worn a hole in the floor walking the baby back and forth

Your husband has been laying in bed awake for a while, he wants to help but he also knows you are capable

However after an hour he's done

Mans has been patent for too long

"Honey let me rock the baby, you go to sleep"- Shoji

"Love its OK! You have to work! And baby is almost asleep"- you, lying to yourself and everyone 🙄

Shoji doesn't listen to you, he just walks up, grabs the baby in one of his arms and stars rocking

Baby 👉🏻 instantly asleep 😴

You 👉🏻👁👄👁

Your husband 👉🏻🥰🥰🥰

Please YN that's all it takes sometimes

"Go to sleep babe, I got them"- Shoji, now sitting on the couch and cuddling your baby

You 👉🏻 running 🏃‍♂️ to bed

YN get all the sleep you can

Your emaculate husband has got your back 😍

Katsuki Bakugo

Oof- you pulled this YN 🥵

I'm so freaking jealous

Honestly tho, I'm sure you deal with enough of Bakugo's crap on the daily to sometimes think twice about your decision 🤣

He's a great husband but sometimes he's an actual child himself 🙄

For instance, you have a 3 year old son who looks and acts exactly like your husband

You and currently pregnant with your second baby and ready to go any day now

Your husband works his butt off but he always has time for you and your son 🥰

However, there is never a lack of entertainment in the Bakugo household

Oh no no no

"Daddy! Did you get any bad guys?"- your son yells

"Hey buddy! Not tonight, I was doing paperwork most of the day"- Bakugo says ruffling your sons hair

You are cooking supper and getting it ready when your son sayd the unthinkable

"Uncle Deku got some bad guys today"- your son

You 👉🏻😳😅 crap-

Bakugo 👉🏻😃 whet-

"Uncle Deku came to my school and told me about how he put a bad guy in jail this morning!"- Your son

"Well Uncle Deku can stick it-" Bakugo ready to lay down the law

"KATSUKI"- You, yelling at your husband

Your husband rn 👉🏻😠

You 👉🏻😐😑

Your husband sighs, coming up to you and giving you a kiss

"We need to transfer our kid to a different school. I don't want that nerd influencing him!"- Bakugo

"Katsuki really?"- You 🙄

Please YN, your husband had never been more serious in his entire life 😅

[aworldofyou]

   .... so in all of the canon of Dragon Age aside from one mention in Origins there is absolutely zero inclination that the Reapers of Mass Effect of currently being fought against. Isn’t that just mind blowing? like there could be some ultra massive galactic bullshit happening out there but we will never know about it. because even if the entire galactic system was destroyed it would be a few million years before we would even feel any ripples on it.

[shunsuiken]

fluffy scenarios of kita, akaashi, and iwaizumi staying up with their fem s/o because she's studying for a big exam please & thank you

im serious when i tell u i couldnt stop smiling when i wrote this, thanks for requesting anon <3

kita, akaashi and iwaizumi staying up with their fem s/o because she’s studying for an exam.

—kita shinsuke.

kita is 100% the type of person who has a consistent sleeping schedule

like bitch will sleep at 10pm and wake up at 5am bright and early and fucking gorgeous

you’ll never catch this guy slippin’ (the inarizaki vbc will upvote this statement)

the latest he’ll stay up is midnight which means that hes going to take more of the afternoon and evening to study

you’ll be studying with him in his room and kita will make sure the surroundings are peaceful enough for you to study effectively

he never hesitates to help you with some topics you don’t understand for the classes you both take

sometimes gives you studying tips that are really helpful

you check the time just to see how far you’ve come- its almost 10pm

youre worried about kita because bby has to sleep and you don’t want him to stay up for you !!

“kita?? kita where’d you go?” you’ll call out, thinking he’s already getting ready to head to bed

but you find him in the kitchen and you smell... noodles??? you watch him pour them into two separate bowls huh?

“i know you’ll be staying up late so have some noodles to regain energy.” he’ll carefully glide the bowl over to your side of the table, his black-dyed hair tips were still damp from taking a shower earlier

oof sis were u that focused on ur work that you didn’t realise he went down to cook you sth??

you have your notes in your hands, walking over to the table and sitting down “you’re not heading to bed yet? you don’t have to wait for me yknow.”

he turns the stove off, bringing his bowl of noodles to the table. “don’t you still have a few topics to cover? let’s continue.”

your face goes :O but your heart goes 💓💓💓

unbeknownst to himself, he’ll casually play with your feet under the table while he asks you questions to answer omg :( hes so cute tf

youre basically having a midnight study date with him

he’ll also compliment you when he feels like you’re running out of energy because he knows it gives you energy boosts :”)))

—akaashi keiji.

i firmly believe that this bby is a master at all nighters and does them when necessary

so when 9pm or 10pm hits, you both are in the kitchen making coffee because you know you still have much more to study

you love watching keiji make coffee like sometimes you stop stirring your own just to watch him and when he notices hes like “😳😳 what”

and you just shrug “you’re cute”

i guess keiji’s not used to your random compliment bursts so he just //blushes//

and then u give him a kith because his cute face deserves it

youre also wearing his sweater because he has an abundance of them in his closet and you totally raid it every few days

you guys head back to his room and begin studying again

the night is tranquil and the house is silent, it truly feels so serene when you put aside the thought of your final exams

then you remind yourself of the reality and it feels like shit all over again

akaashi obviously senses your distress so he put a hand on your outstretched leg. the warmth plays with your cool skin, relaxing your nerves a tad bit

it was the little things he did that made u feel better and maybe if you squint a little harder, you’ll know he’s telling you “i love you”

akaashi’s gonna be finished with his coffee within five minutes LMAO hes a fast sipper

youre wondering how hes able to pull this off every few months but i guess everyone has their own secret super power no?

at some point you find yourself dozing off at 1.30

“you ready for tomorrow?” “absolutely not” pfft. akaashi’s gonna think. he’ll drag your ass to his bed so you can sleep properly and avoid straining a muscle

“get rest, love, you should at least be awake for the exam.” is the last thing hear before you fall asleep on his comfy sheets

—iwaizumi hajime.

lots of chaos in the beginning and thats because you two made a stupid joke about godzilla and now you can’t stop laughing like a dumbass  every time you look at iwa

“y/n look at me-” “PFFFTTT” its literally the middle of the night and youve probably awoken the dead 🤷🏻‍♀️ no biggie tho

lowkey makes it easier for you to study because you’re awake awake yknow?

iwa defs likes to take care of you. he’ll pass you a drink to sip on whenever it looks like youre about to lose concentration and asks you from time to time if you feel like youve studied enough

WILL GIVE YOU A MASSAGE but you tell him no because that’ll only make you sleepier

asks you questions about your exam material. he sometimes gets confused by the question because he doesn’t take that class

he actually finds it cute when you have to shut your eyes to think of the answer and when you open them, hes staring at you fondly

its like “😳 is there something on my face you porcupine”

DID I JUST CALL IWA A PORCUPINE

this will lead you two into tickle fights and iwa convinced (not really) you that you should have regular tickle fights because ENERGY and BRAIN AWAKE 👍🏼

“call me a porcupine one mo-” ok this is cute because he tickles a spot that is super ticklish for you and you look- omg- you look so adorable all smiley

back to the studying part haha oh no youre starting to get sleepy

but you don’t wanna sleep yet!! you barely covered enough but iwa’s been watching u study and hes pretty sure you’ve covered the entire book since you started earlier this morning

idk i just feel like it would be nice if you laid flat on his lap and he just asks you questions and you try to answer them

his touch is just very nice and makes you feel safe yknow :)

you end up dozing off most of the time but you do try your very best to stay awake pls stop ur making iwa combust

after fifteen minutes of questions, you’ll surrender, exhausted

“tired?” you’ll hum in agreement and he’ll flip you over just to carry you into bed, tucking you in

[solecize]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. you never forget your first love. sometimes you don’t want to. other times, you can’t. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. yuta x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. fluff / angst / high school au 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. mature language, death, mentions of a car accident, violence and verbal abuse 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 7.7k words 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. i finished this at 5am so its a little wonky and definitely not proofread

FOURTEEN.

the sun barely peaked out from the far horizon of the osaka skyline and the sweet smell of morning dew filled your lungs. a heavy backpack weighing down your shoulders, you hated walking to school in the mornings. clunk. clunk. clunk. the sound of your shoes drumming against the pavement guiding your path became a steady rhythm and your concerns of the day to come drowned within them; a physics test in the morning, a presentation at the end of the day, and the fact that you forgot to pack yourself a lunch. again. these thoughts settled into a roaming and wandering pace as you made your way to school.

wisps of golden rays broke though and in between branches and houses that you strolled past. specifically, the one house that you continuously walked back and forth in front of. ‘come on,’ you thought, waiting for the right moment. this routine that you’d been practicing since elementary school occurred at the almost exact same time every single time.

then, you heard the front door click. with that, you rushed back a couple steps and ignored the army marching through your chest. punctual as ever, yuta was ready. thankfully for you, that meant that you could ‘casually’ run into him on your way to school and walk together. that was the only thing you liked about walking in the mornings.

“oh, hey. good morning.” yuta bore a small smile, as he looked at you over his shoulder and locked the front door. the boy had yet to caught on to the fact that your presence was suspiciously always on time for him to exit his house.

your expression lit up when the eyes of the boy who you so deeply admired met yours. “good morning, yuta.” your smile leapt to your eyes.

as he did every morning, he jogged his way over to where you were and began walking at your side. the mere presence of him just an elbow’s touch away caused the bottom of your stomach to not just do backflips, but an entire gymnastic routine. somehow, you managed to catch your breath.

SIXTEEN. 

“and then, he went all ‘bang!’” your hands waved wildly, the words were overflowing from your lips and the rush of adrenaline still fresh in your veins.

miho watched you with a single raised eyebrow, half used to your antics, but was still bewildered at your longstanding crush on soccer star nakamoto yuta. even under the dim streetlights of that hazy and humid september evening, the rogue flush glowing at the apples of your cheeks was too obvious. she simply giggled and looped her arm around yours.

the narrow streets were littered with clusters of students from your school, laughter and chatter being heard from a mile away. the joyous buzz in the air was due to the soccer game that just occurred against the team’s arch rivals, which was won in a last minute dramatic fashion. the saviour of the night? he was walking towards you.

wait, what?

although surrounded by other team members clad in navy blue tracksuits, yuta easily stood out. everyone and anyone bombarded the guy as soon as he came within sight, wanting to congratulate and praise him for his talent and efforts. for some reason, though, there was a different gleam of purpose in his bright eyes.

your heartbeat quickened, but your steady walking pace remained. this was mostly due to miho’s pointed look, as she saw the way you nearly froze up at the sight of yuta—as you always did. up until this point, you weren’t sure what got to you. his charming smile, his kind heart, the way he poured passion into everything he did . . .you were a goner. however, you also had a pile of homework waiting for you when you got home and couldn’t slow down for him, who probably had a celebration to get to.

still, that didn’t change the fact that yuta was making a beeline in your direction. you thought you were imagining it, until you heard him call your name. then, a second time. at this point, you turned around without even realizing that you’d lost control of your body.

“oof—” he ran straight into you the moment you turned around. you wobbled for a second, but yuta’s strong arms caught you almost instantly.

his eyes widened. “oh, shit, i’m so sorry—”

“—no, it’s, um, it’s okay, really!” you exclaimed and wanted to shrivel up when you realized how high your voice became. miho snickered behind you, but you ignored it.

a grin stretched across yuta’s face and the butterflies in your stomach awoke. something about his presence, his spirit lit a spark inside of you. he absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair and opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and proceeded to play with the words on the tip of his tongue. you weren’t sure what was going on.

yuta asked, “did you enjoy the game?” at this point, he was full on ignoring the passerbys, save for the polite head nod for the congratulations he was receiving. all of his attention was on you.

“yeah, of course,” you nodded, maybe a little too vigorously. “you were really great out there. i mean it.”

“couldn’t have done it without my trusted medic.”

FIFTEEN.

you weren’t sure how exactly you were coaxed into this, but it seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye. everyone in your study group slowly began to flow out of yuta’s home, until it was just the two of you and studying wasn’t the main priority anymore. you weren’t in any rush to go home, considering your home was just a five minute walk away, and, of course, not wanting to pass up the opportunity to spend time with yuta.

“i don’t think i’m exactly fit for this,” you told him nervously, as he lead you onto the empty street by hand.

the evening went from homework to goofing around on youtube. the two of you had been exchanging music and favourite artists, which finally came down to stumbling across soccer clips. yuta then had the brilliant idea of teaching you soccer after you reminded him how much you loathed sports. for whatever reason, that brought you here.

yuta scoffed. “trust me, you’ll get the hang of it easily.”

the breeze blew softly, a relief on a hot summer night like this one. you sighed at the humidity and watched yuta. he dropped the soccer ball onto the ground and it hummed against the concrete, as he started to dribble it.

“you gotta pass with the inside of your foot,” he explained, though you were a little too mesmerized by his gorgeous calf muscles. “like this!” yuta demonstrated and passed the ball over to you like second nature.

somehow, you managed to stop the ball. it had to be either luck or the fear that it was going to crash into one of mrs. nakamoto’s potted plants. your eyes widened in shock. considering you could barely walk without tripping, this was an accomplishment.

he beamed. “great, now pass it over to me.”

what was intended to be a soft, gentle pass ended up being a hard kick to the, well, danger zone. it all happened so fast and before you knew it, the ball hit him with a loud smack! and yuta was trying to resist doubling over. his face contorted and body folded over in swallowed down pain, wincing.

you gasped and rushed over, endless apologies coming out. “oh my god, ohmygod, ohmy—”

“it’s okay, it’s okay!” yuta was gasping for air and you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, trying to help him stand up.

despite being in obvious distress, yuta still managed to laugh upon seeing your reaction. he didn’t realize how much he liked being aided to until you went out of your way to help him back inside and give him an ice pack. he didn’t realize how much he liked teaching his favourite thing to another person until he forced you outside and taught the basics of soccer to your clumsy ass.

most importantly, he didn’t realize how much he could like a person until you.

SIXTEEN.

you rolled your eyes, but you were, without a doubt, dying inside knowing that he remembered that day. “ha. hilarious.”

others continued to weave around you two and you were certain that it looked a little odd, probably annoying, that you were just standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. even miho had whispered that she would catch up with you later and snuck away. however, yuta didn’t budge.

“can i walk you home? it’s getting dark and i’m sure you can handle yourself, but just to be extra safe. . .” yuta offered and this took you by surprise.

“you guys just won the most important game of the season, isn’t there some sort of team celebration that you have to get to?” you raised your eyebrows, but allowed him to lead the way to your neighbourhood.

he shrugged. “everyone’s tired. besides, i wanted to, erm, talk to you.”

looking behind you, it seemed that the boys from the team were indeed dispersing, but strangely enough, were all looking in your direction. as if being caught red handed in a robbery, they all froze on the spot when they met your eyes and turned the other way immediately. yuta noticed this and grumbled something under his breath, but you didn’t catch it.

“about. . .?”

“uh, well, we’ve been friends for a while now, right?” yuta scratched the back of his neck with a tension in his movement.

shit. he found out about your crush on him. surely, he just wanted to let you down easy or something. you chomped down hard, teeth grinding against each other in pure agony. this was not happening. you managed to nod your head slowly.

he continued, “well, there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you.” his eyes, full of fire, wandered all over, except to meet yours. “ask you, er, actually.”

you blinked, trying your best to ignore the bubble of hope forming in your chest. “what do you mean?” because there was no way he was talking about what you’d been dreaming of for god knows how long.

he slowed down in his tracks and for a few moments, there was a calm.

“i like you.” yuta finally spat out, the wind knocked out of him and you nearly fell over attempting to halt in your route. “and i wanted to ask if you’d go out with me.”

cashmere moonlight illuminated the aged roads of osaka where joy danced in the air—the joy of victory, youth, and, now, first love. time seemed to suspend just for a few moments and it tasted like fireworks. a round of whoops emerged from where yuta left him teammates behind, but it was all white noise to you.

everything was blurry and unimportant, except for him.

SEVENTEEN.

“why did we invite these two?” miho groaned, watching the two of you from the other side of the room.

it hadn’t even been a minute since entering the karaoke lounge, but you and yuta were already cuddled up in the corner of one of the couches. he had pulled you onto his lap and you let out a loud giggle at the contact. snaking his arms around your waist, you knew that you were not leaving this place for the rest of the night.

yuta raised an eyebrow. “that’s awfully rude. we’re your friends.” his signature cheeky smile formed and you couldn’t help but press a kiss on his cheek.

“you guys have been on this lovey-dovey honeymoon shit for, like, a year now,” one of yuta’s teammates groaned.

“sucks for you guys.” you grinned in response and began flipping through one of the song books.

it was the middle of the summer going into your last year of high school and you were certain of it—you didn’t have a single care in the world. it was the last summer of pure freedom and everyone felt it all around them. it was a ticking time bomb, a countdown that result in late nights out with all of your friends. tonight it brought you to karaoke.

yuta tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. “i like this colour on you.” you’d just dyed your hair a few shades lighter than your natural shade a couple of nights ago as apart of a dare. of course, you did it, but the more you looked at it, the worse it seemed to look.

“really?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“duh. you look good in everything.”

you brought your face close to his ear, so that the conversation could only be heard between the two of you. “you should go sing something.”

“uh, what?” his face scrunched up jokingly, but you gave him a knowing eye.

it started off one day when you were chilling alone, just watching mamma mia on his couch. for whatever reason, yuta knew enough of the songs to be able to sing along. that’s when you discovered his gift of possibly the sweetest, smoothest voice you’ve ever heard. angelic, you insisted, but he was always too shy and didn’t acknowledge it.

since then, you’ve paid extra attention when you catch him singing under his breath, humming, or even just whistling. everyone told him how good he was, but he didn’t even consider it. nevertheless, it was the same glimmer in yuta’s eyes when he sang his favourite song as the one when he was on the field.

suddenly, the weight beneath you shifted. yuta had pushed you off his lap effortlessly, taking the song book. this forced you to stand up on your feet and left you confused.

he beckoned his friend that held the microphones over and took them from him. “what are you doing?” you asked.

“let’s sing a duet, then.” at this, all of your friends cheered in response to this unusual action from yuta. he’d always be the one to just sit in the corner with his drink, hype up everyone else, and maybe give some background vocals in the form of yelling.

“oh, really?” you laughed, not believing what was happening.

“what? i like trying new things with you,” yuta declared with a grin and passed a microphone to you, which you barely caught. “you better keep up.”

the night unfolded just like that, with nineties throwback jams and laughter all around. miho captured the memory on her polaroid and you kept several of these pictures to stow away, probably in some shoebox under your bed. however, for now, you lived these pictures. you lived them with yuta, always pushing each other to your boundaries and always with the best of hearts.

SEVENTEEN.

it started with that one time at the amusement park when you nearly lost your shit at the top of the ferris wheel. then, he noticed the way you squirmed trying to walk across the metal grates downtown where you could see just how deep it went past those holes. you never wanted to join your friends when they would have lunch on the school rooftop.

you had a fear of heights.

one promise was made clear between the two of you at the start of your senior year in high school: to make the best out of it. yuta figured that this meant pushing you to face what scared you the most. this was the first of them.

with a sigh, you suddenly found your shoes to be the most interesting thing in the world. “i really don’t know about this.”

“we took a three hour bus ride to get here and you’re not sure about this?” yuta folded his arms across his chest. “you’re the one that suggested we all go to the beach.”

you gnawed on your bottom lip. “well, yeah, but i meant to go swimming or tan or play volleyball! this—” you beckoned down to the aquamarine ocean line, “—is not what i meant, yuta!”

kicking a piece of rock, it flew right off the edge and deep down into the shore below. you watched it and the distance it made, which only caused you to stiffen up even further. the cliff had to be at least twenty meters high and despite the beautiful crystal waters, it felt like diving into a black hole. your eyes remained glued to the mocha dirt between your feet, as the sight only pumped your blood faster and faster.

yuta chuckled softly and you smacked his arm. “this isn’t funny!”

raising his hands up in defense, he approached you slowly. “come on. you’re the bravest girl i know.” your boyfriend tried to tip your chin up, but you tore in away. “you’ve been telling me for years about how you’ve wanted to get over this.”

“yeah, but we all know i’m a pussy ass bitch.”

he rolled his eyes, but wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed your temple. “come on. if you do it, i’ll buy you food.”

you scoffed. “you think i’m that easily bought?”

even though he didn’t say a word, the look that yuta gave you was enough to indicate his agreement. you looked between him and the seemingly endless jump that awaited you just a few steps away. squinting at the sun, you let out a loud breath.

“well?” yuta asked hopefully.

you rubbed the ring on your left hand, a habit formed in the confrontation with your nerves, and braced yourself. in a twist of fate, you found yourself walking a few steps back and for a second, he thought that you were leaving. then, yuta saw the look on your face and grinned. it was enough for him to know. squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to steady yourself.

“you have to jump right after me, okay?!” you didn’t mean to yell, but everything began to muffle except for the pounding in your ears.

yuta said, “you got it, baby.” he began clapping and whooping, building up your energy at your side.

it was like flying. you ran and ran until your entire body was wrapped around blankets of air and freedom. you finally opened your eyes, wide and bright, to the world around you. it was pure lunacy. it must’ve lasted forever, because when you emerged from the sharp waters and gasping for air, yuta was already right beside you.

a boil of hysteria formed at the base of your throat. one giggle lead to another, until you were having a full on fest of laughter. you couldn’t stop and watching you, yuta couldn’t help but start laughing, too. you flung your arms around him in the tightest embrace, still shaking from the nerves, but in the best way possible. you planted a deep kiss on his lips and he groaned.

“i guess that wasn’t so—” you were cut off by yuta’s lips, capturing yours once again.

SEVENTEEN.

everyone knew you and yuta to be the couple that was late to almost everything. however, most were not aware of the fact that it was almost strictly because of him. sometimes, you had to step back and marvel at just how good he was at wasting time when getting ready for something.

“oh my god, is it possible to take any longer than this?” you yelled at him from his bedroom balcony, as you absentmindedly scrolled through your phone. at the same time, you ignored the angry messages from your friends, wondering where the two of you were.

the sound of the blow dryer finally came to a stop. “relax, there’s no need to rush.”

“it’s the last school festival we’re ever gonna have and you don’t wanna rush?” you quipped back.

this happened every time, so you weren’t nearly as irritated as you should’ve been. this was considering you woke up extra early to pick out your outfit and actually attempt real makeup on your face. it made you a little nervous, considering you made enough effort to brush your hair and throw on the nicest skirt you owned, albeit after digging through your closet for who knows how long. you arrived at yuta’s almost an hour before you were supposed to leave and without surprise, he was still in bed.

since this happened every time, you had one simple method that worked every time. all it took was one iced cube for nakamoto yuta, the mighty star player of your school’s soccer team, to squeal like a four year old and scramble out of bed. soon enough, he was in the shower and belting to chris brown at the top of his lungs.

he definitely didn’t get out soon enough.

you got up to bang on his bathroom door, but before you could do so, it swung open. yuta was fully dressed in casual attire of an oversized hoodie, a jean jacket, and black sweats. a baseball cap nestled the top of his pristine hair and you immediately swiped it off.

“hey—” yuta began to protest, but then his eyes scanned your appearance and his jaw was left hanging.

clearly, you didn’t notice, because you continued ranting. “if you took all that time to blow dry your hair, why the hell did you put on a hat?”

“you look. . .”

“we are so late and—”

he clamped a hand over your mouth, only getting a further rise out of you. “can you just listen to me?” but, this didn’t stop your attempts and yelling through his hand.

yuta didn’t let go until you had the bright idea to lick his hand, at which he let out a chorus of “yuck, ew, gross” and spun around to wash his hands immediately. you snickered at his reaction, but were still heated.

he gave you a dirty look. “damn, a guy can’t tell his girl that she looks beautiful?”

“not when the guy is the reason for them being an hour and a half late!” you cried. jaw set, you had to admit that this would normally get your heart pounding, but it was going to be your fist’s turn if he didn’t hurry. long gone were the days where you couldn’t speak the truth to yuta and now, you’d cuss him out at any given time.

he chuckled and placed a hand on your cheek. “well, you do. i don’t know what you did, but you look good, all dressed up and stuff.”

you let him bring you into a gentle embrace and melted into him almost instantaneously. “yeah, yeah, whatever,” you said into his chest. “by the way, i really enjoyed the concert you put on there.”

yuta’s ears turned slightly red, but he laughed it off. “thanks. i’ve been practicing.” he looked over and noticed the balcony door open, the curtains blowly softly against the wall. “were you just on my balcony?”

“yeah, it’s way too hot in here.”

“willingly? alone? at a high height?” he dramatically gaped and you hit his arm.

you replied, “ergh, yes, okay? let’s move on now.” you couldn’t bite back the small grin that was forming on your face and there was no way he didn’t notice it.

the two of you eventually raced out the front door and began a rock paper scissors competition to decide who would have to face an angry miho, who’d been waiting for you two for hours.

EIGHTEEN.

you shared all of the most painful moments of your life with yuta. he was there for you after every test you failed, every sad movie that pulled at your heartstrings, and every time you plucked your eyebrows. just thinking about him, you could easily remember the way his arms felt like home, when nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

“she’s going to be okay, come on. .  .” he murmured into your ear, as he stroked your hair. “please, just breathe, baby.”

“miho was on her way to see me! she shouldn’t have—” you couldn’t finish the sentence, a strangled sob choking your words to bits.

yuta rocked you back and forth in his arms as you tried to look for some sort of light, but the bland eggshell walls of the hospital corridor provided nothing to comfort you. there was no one else waiting for miho except you. you were all she had.

that day, she ended up surviving the fatal car accident. you were certain that you would have gone mad if it weren’t for yuta’s warm arms and the sweet nothings he assured into your being. he was your strength that day.

likewise, yuta shared all the most painful moments of his life with you. you were there for him after every injury he suffered on the field, after every screaming match with his hotheaded father, and every lost game that he took. you somehow made him laugh on his way to the infirmary. you found every way to cheer him up after a bad game. most of all, you were the one who cradled him and let him sob into your chest in the rare moments when he would lose all control after a fight with his dad.

it was about one in the morning when you awoke in a startle. the sound of a pile of your textbooks toppling over from your desk created what seemed to be an earthquake at an ungodly hour. you awoke to your heart beating wildly, unsure of what to expect.

thankfully, it was just your idiot boyfriend, who had no idea how to climb into a room through a window. unsure of what was going on, your first instinct to whisper yell at him about whatever the hell he was doing and the fact that your parents could have woken up, but then you saw. you saw his dead eyes and his slumped over figure.

“did he. . .”

you hadn’t seen yuta in about a week, ever since his father was hospitalized. he didn’t elaborate on any details when he explained the situation to you, but you knew it was fatal. he didn’t even want you visiting.

“yeah. he went real quick and just like that,” yuta took in a deep breath, “it was over.”

you immediately sat up on your bed and made room for him, to which he immediately occupied. all you wanted to do was reach out and touch him, to enclasp his hardened joints and cold skin. looking over at him, though, it seemed like the hardest thing to do. you’d never seen yuta so empty before.

you cleared your throat, while eyeing your bedroom door to ensure all lights remained off. “shouldn’t you be with your mom and sister?”

“i dropped them off at home so they could sleep. i wanted to call you, but,” yuta shrugged, “i’m here now.”

after that, yuta didn’t talk for the rest of the night. though he stared blankly at your popcorn ceiling as if he was in another world, you kept him grounded. you talked about anything and anything to distract him. the soccer game on television that evening, the new, hideous curtains that your mother put in the living room, how you just learned to do some basic sewing, the neighbourhood gossip. you talked until your throat strained and begged for you to give up. but, you didn’t give up until the first streams of ginger orange and rose emerged from the horizon beyond your tiny window.

by then, he coasted into a deep sleep into the crook of your neck and one arm slung over your torso. you buried your face in his hair, hand clutched in his. pain always hurt, but neither of you ever had to hurt alone.

EIGHTEEN.

you shared all of the most painful moments of your life with yuta, but you never anticipated the day when one of those moments would be because of him.

“what do you mean?” you felt like you’d just been punched in the gut, your lips parting in shock.

yuta pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek and set down his soda on the rooftop ledge. “i mean, i’m leaving. i’m going to accept their offer of admission.” his eyes were downcast and he felt like he was holding onto all of the weight in the world.

“but-but, i—” you started, but couldn’t find the words.

nothing seemed real in that moment. you shook your head and turned away, finding the door to be the only option. however, watching even your smallest of movements, yuta knew you too well and easily predicted what you were going to do next.

he grabbed your arm before you could walk away. “can we just talk about this first?”

“like the way you talked to me about applying to schools overseas?” you shot, though your voice was quieter than usual.

like every other couple in the graduating class, your future was up in the air. it was floating and it seem like every time to made a move to reach out and grab for it, all that slipped through your fingers was pure nothingness. void. you didn’t want to think about it, instead opting to live in the moment.

however, with the changing leaves and the aforementioned ticking time bomb became the background music to your every day life. there always seemed to be something that popped out of nowhere to remind you of what you dreaded—the fact that you were running out of time.

yuta ran a hand through his hair. “it wasn’t the plan, i just kinda did it on a whim and i never expected. . .” his shoulders slumped.

it was then you realized that yuta was no longer living by the same hour.

although you avoided talking about it, you and yuta were with each other every step of the way since the year began. you thought the happy ending plan you concocted in your plan was officially set in motion and absolutely nothing could go wrong.

wrong.

though you knew deep inside that this wasn’t a bad thing, that you shouldn’t be upset at yuta, there was a nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach. every bad scenario that could possibly be generated suddenly flashed before your very eyes and at that, your entire body stiffened.

your heart ached and you couldn’t help but step forward to place a hand on his chest. “listen. i’m happy for you and i’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but,” you shook your head, “that shit really hurt mine.”

before he could say anything, you took off the sweater he’d given to just a few minutes earlier when the two of you arrived. the cold breeze felt like knives against your flesh, but you ignored it. for your entire life, you knew that you were as fragile as glass. however, you never truly felt it up until this moment.

“come on, it’s not that serious,” yuta said, eyes widened.

you replied, “it doesn’t matter. this is, um, just a lot to take in.” shaking your head, you broke free of his grasp.

just as you approached the stairs to return back to the school building, you hear yuta’s voice from behind you.

“i’m not letting this be the end.”

EIGHTEEN.

when the guests began pouring out of your front door, you took this as an opportunity to sneak out the back and around to escape the dreadful atmosphere. this wasn’t to say that you weren’t grateful for the careful orchestration done to ensure a successful surprise party, you were really blown away by the plan made by your family and miho. walking into your living room to be met with a crowd of people to celebration your recent acceptance to university was the highlight of your day and the second last thing you expected.

the last thing you expected had followed you out your back door, having kept a close eye on you since the start of the party. yuta had not spoken to you in a week, not since the reveal on the school rooftop. you stated that you needed space and he respected that, but there was no way he wasn’t going to celebrate your massive academic accomplishments, especially when he was the rock to keep you stable all of this years.

plus, miho would’ve killed him.

“hey, hey, hey,” yuta’s unmistakable voice chimed in behind you, “where are you going?”

“i needed some air,” you said, without turning around.

he jogged up to you and began walking by your side. you didn’t look at him. you weren’t sure why.

yuta said, “it’s crazy how fast everything’s going now,” he shoved his hands into his pockets. “it seems like yesterday we were just fourteen and screwing around, doing whatever without caring about tomorrow.”

“. . .yeah. i think i’m going to go crazy thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after.” the confession tasted bitter and it showed crystal clear in your features. “like, obviously, the party was great and all but it was just another reminder of all this shit building up.”

“you have no reason to worry,” yuta scoffed. “you have so much to look forward to. i know you aren’t afraid to be on your own next year.”

“but, that’s the thing, yuta!” you bellowed. “i’m not afraid, i’m terrified. i wasn’t going be afraid because i wasn’t going to be on my own, i was supposed to have you.” it took all of your strength to even attempt to stop your voice from shaking.

like you’d always done, you found yourself immediately melting back into his arms, like they were your rightful place. “believe it or not, i am so fucking ecstatic for you. i just—”

“—wish we wouldn’t have to go our own ways?” yuta finished for you, a sad smile playing on his lips.

you nodded. “it’s stupid, but you’ve been by my side forever. and i want the best for you and trust me, i know this school is perfect for you.”

“you looked into it?”

“of course i did,” you managed to laugh. “and it checks off every single box for your dream school.”

the conversation was a volcano, waiting to erupt in the shadows for quite some time. thankfully, it wasn’t destructive. the two of you sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, still not letting go of each other. similar to leisurely flowing lava, it was warm and of beauty unlike any other.

yuta cupped your cheek and you swore you would have given anything to freeze those few seconds of time to keep. “you know, no matter what happens, you’ll always have my heart.”

that night, yuta took you to the same arcade he brought you to on your first date at fifteen. you shared laughter and exchanged music like you had for many years. the fear settling deep into both of your bodies seemed to fade for that one night. because, although he wanted to be strong and reject it, yuta was as scared as you were.

“you aren’t making the wrong decision,” you assured him, over and over again.

just like that, the magma begun to settle. the fog started to clear, but you weren’t sure if whatever hid behind it all was what you wanted. regardless, for those few seconds in time, everything seemed to be okay.

EIGHTEEN.

"stop crying, loser.”

“i am not crying!” you insisted with a laugh, as you hastily swiped at the tears brimming in your eyes. “i am totally fine, this is totally happening.”

standing in the middle of the parking lot of the ceremony hall, you looked a little ridiculous. you’d long given up on wearing heels and opted to go barefoot, your makeup was smeared, and you already ripped your gown by accident when you stepped on it going down the stairs. yuta didn’t see you that way, though.

he saw you for what you were: the smart, strong, gorgeous girl that he’d been in love with for the past four years of his life. the first girl he’d ever loved. he’d gone on believing that you were going to be the last, too, but that dream was shattered into pieces now. somehow, he accepted this with a smile.

“i guess this is goodbye,” he jokingly extended his hand, to which you slapped it out of the way and nearly jumped on him for a bone crushing hug. yuta laughed and hugged you back just as tight, beginning to twirl you around and ignored the way his cap toppled off his head in the process. 

all of a sudden, you heard a loud honk. he let go of you and you noticed that your family was waiting for you to get in the car. you sighed. his eyes met yours and the silence was enough.

he pressed a kiss against your cheek, one last time. “bye, angel.”

TWENTY FIVE.

nothing was the same. your parents had long moved out of your childhood home and to the other side of the city. you lost contact with all of your high school friends and as far as you knew, they’d all moved to different points of the country. upon returning to your hometown, there was nothing left for you anymore.

dropping the last of your cardboard boxes, thankfully not one of the ones marked with ‘fragile,’ miho let out a loud huff. “finally! i thought this shit would never end,” she grumbled.

you kicked the box aside to the back wall of you brand new apartment. “thanks for helping me out.”

she was the last of your old friends to remain in osaka, having built her life here after graduation as a police officer. in fact, miho was the last of your old friends to stick by your side ever since. some were appalled at the turn of events that occurred  in your life and ostracized you. others simply faded away naturally. miho was the first of them to enter your life and you were in pure relief when she promised that she wouldn’t leave your side.

miho was the one you dragged into your washroom to take the five tests to see if they were really accurate. when yuta was long gone, she was your rock. when you had to go through school with a young kid, she was your source of encouragement through strings of letters, phone calls, and text messages.

she was the last constant in your life in the ‘before’ and the ‘after.’

“duh, do you know how excited i am for you to be back?!” miho squealed, hugging you for what seemed to be the hundredth time since you arrived back in town just a year before.

you beamed. “i just. . .can’t believe it.” looking out the window, you realized that you left so much of yourself when you left at eighteen. now that you were back, you weren’t sure if you wanted to pick up where you left off.

your oldest friend nodded in understanding. suddenly, there was a loud chime and miho checked her phone immediately, frowning at her screen. she shoved in back into her purse and sighed.

“i really don’t want to leave you alone, but i have to go,” she said.

you nodded in understanding. “it’s okay. go. i have to go grocery shopping for me and the little dude over there anyway,” you replied. “i’ll catch up with you tomorrow for lunch?”

the small boy sitting at your newly moved couch looked up at the mention of himself. he’d been occupied the entire time with power rangers reruns and you walked over to him, scooping him up in a cuddle. yosuke was at the age where he whined at every form of physical affection from his mother, even if they were the best of friends like the two of you were.

“of course,” miho said and followed you. she cooed at yosuke, who’s eyes were still glued to the tablet screen in his hands. taking his chubby cheeks between her manicured fingers and pinching them, the kid let out a loud groan and you gave him a pointed look.

you cleared your throat. “say bye to auntie miho.”

“bye auntie miho,” yosuke mumbled with a grimace painted across his face.

standing up, you began to walk miho to the door. she slipped on her heels, ranting about the warm weather in november, but to be honest, you were mostly tuning her out in favour of just appreciating miho’s presence in the first place. just like old times.

you opened the door for her and waved her goodbye. however, just as you were about to close it, the door beside your apartment opened. whether it was out of curiosity or some cruel trick by destiny, you look out to greet your neighbour.

what came next couldn’t have happened in your wildest dreams.

everything was the same. sure, he grew out his hair a little bit longer, but yuta looked exactly the same in that dusty parking lot, when the two of you were eighteen. a lollipop dangled from his mouth, like before, and his surroundings were drowned out by earphones plugged into both of his ears. he still wore his late father’s titanium watch, no matter how aged it was. yuta’s eyes met yours and you were a goner, like you always were. it was more than a punch to the gut, but a full on blow to the face and a kick to the shins. your entire body felt like it’d just been battered. you couldn’t breathe.

for half a second, he glanced away. then, the nooks and crannies of his memories that hadn’t been touched in years became triggered. yuta looked up and he could’ve sworn, everything in the world stopped. his mouth ran dry and the vulnerability that settled in his bones felt as though he’d been caught in the middle of a crime.

yuta wanted to say your name, to see if it was really you, but nothing seemed to croak out.

“this can’t be real.” you didn’t know you were saying this out loud, but the words just spilled out of your mouth. you felt like a wax candle, eventually vanishing the hotter your flame grew. this couldn’t be happening.

he sputtered, “i can’t—”

you suddenly became aware of your appearance and wanted to just hide away. with your hair twisted into a half-assed bun and clad in an old t-shirt and denim overalls, you looked more like the visiting plumber than a tenant.

“—believe it,” you finished for him, trying to let the oxygen enter your body. “um, sorry, i just moved in, so i’m not really fit to be seen by actual humans.”

neither of you were sure how to go about this, both wanting to go in for a hug, but hesitated. after a few awkward attempts, yuta eventually went ‘fuck it’ and just completely squashing you into an embrace. you weren’t sure how long the hug lasted for. maybe an hour. a couple minute. a few seconds. but even just a quarter of that was enough for you. the smell of musk and teakwood filled your senses and you were lost again, forgetting about what this reunion meant for you.

“you look great.” yuta just saw you the way he’d always remembered you. “you still look the same.” he chuckled, taken aback and blown away.

you scrunched your nose. “do i?” there was no way he was being serious.

“just like the night of the spring festival.”

that was what took you by surprise, the fact that he remembered that night, much less what you looked like. still, the whole situation was not fully processed in your mind. you shook your head, blinking your doubts away.

you tried to form your words. “what, erm, are you doing here?” the awkward laugh that came out of your mouth was enough to say it all. “i mean, last i heard, you became a big shot, working for some company in europe.”

“i moved back to japan a few weeks ago,” yuta revealed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “i wanted to work back home.” though the smile on his face was small, it was enough to bring you back to the bliss of your relationship with him.

none of this was real.

you were dizzy. seeing yuta felt like seeing a ghost from your past. this wasn’t supposed to be what moving back to osaka was about. seven years away meant seven years of growth and even harder, moving on. you finally snapped yourself out of the fragrant, intoxicating daze that was nakamoto yuta and realized you had to confront the reality.

“what—” you started,

he shrugged and leaned against his door frame. “why travel the world when you feel like you’re, well, missing something?” yuta asked. “i mean, i had a lot going for me. but, something felt wrong.”

this was just honesty from yuta. after years away from his roots, there had to be a reason why he traced his footprints back to home. maybe it was after pleading to the stars for an answer, but standing in front of you seemed like the twist of fate he’d been seeking.

“nothing beats home and family, right?”

it was too late. from the ringing in your ears, you didn’t hear the tiny footsteps plopping right behind you on your new, carpeted floors. you didn’t hear the distant video music come to an abrupt pause. you didn’t hear any of it and then, you felt a tug at your pant leg.

“i’m hungry,” yosuke yawned, looking up at you through his long eyelashes.

all the colour in yuta’s face drained. you rubbed the ring on your left hand and tore your gaze away from yuta and instead focused on your son. “okay, yosuke, go back inside and i’ll make you lunch, honey.” you forced a smile, but yosuke just gave a confused side glance at yuta. nonetheless, he retreated back inside.

yuta always imagined what it would be like if he crossed paths with you again. in most of these fantasies, you’d fall right back into his arms. he rarely considered the idea that you would have someone else. he didn’t even entertain the notion at all, the dead clutch of hope still remaining within him.

“yosuke?” he asked slowly, trying to memorize the details of the little boy’s face and all he saw were your features.

it was the hardest thing for you to say.

“yeah. my son.”

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂.

i like you (exo remake) - weathercast severely - ft island milk - f(x) at the end - chungha you were beautiful - day6

[thecatprince]

Its almost 5am <3 and I am binge reading a fic <3 i eill try to sleep tho because i am a littole creacher mwuah you deserve to be happy and feel loved have a nice day or night i dint onow what timezo e you’re in <3

Oof mood lol!! Currently 10pm over where I am so not too late. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!!

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

A Day in the Life: Mornings

A Family Mob AU fic.

The day began at 4am that morning, with Michael blinking into the dim light of a waking Los Santos. He didn't even need to move from bed to know that someone was already up. Michael sighed.

Gavin glared out the window, his eyes trained on the newly rented apartment across the street. Green light smeared on the glass, pouring from Gavin's eyes and the thin membrane on his back fluttered irritably. 

"Yo Gav what the fuck, Go to sleep." A high pitched unearthly shriek ripped through the penthouse as a ghostly version of Michael floated in front of Gavin. He turned around to see Michael walking over with a sleepy sour look.

It was too early for any kind of grooming. Michael had left his spines out, poking through his specially made pjs they were usually hidden under his heavy leather jacket. Gavin could even see the third eye, its lashes twitching as Michael worked to keep it closed at this early hour.

"Christ Micool not this early!" Gavin hissed, his eyes torn away from the window. Michael rolled his eyes, all three, and scoffed.

"Yeah but you haven't slept again." Michael hissed and Gavin pouted. 

"They didn't either! I don't trust it." Gavin turned back to the window, eyes trained back on the faint light peeking through the curtains across the street.

"You heard Matt, they're students. Of fucking course they dont sleep." Michael said grabbing Gavin by the shoulders. Gavin squawked as Michael lifted him up and began to walk away.

"But I gotta keep watch Micool."

"Well I'm up now you can get some sleep and I'll watch." Gavin grumbled as Michael slipped him down on his own bed and fell asleep instantly. His membrane wrapped around him, covering the Brit in a cocoon of glittering gold. 

Michael quietly left the room and moved out to the living room to wait out the rest of the night.

By 6 Ryan, Geoff and Fiona were up and with Michael. Geoff had floated in around 430 with a yawn and a light whine. Geoff was rarely able to make full words before 5 am so no one who saw him before then expected any.

Ryan and Fiona came in next one after the other at 5am. Ryan teleported in right to the fridge to grab a diet coke. Meanwhile Fiona shuffled in leaving a small trail of sea water behind her as she went straight for the coffee maker.  Together the four crew members all silently sat together as the rose rose.

By 501 Geoff was talking.

"Gavin was up?" He asked.

"Yeah, dumbass was staring down the new neighbors again. They need to get some fucking sleep." Michael confirmed. There was a swish and a heavy bat riddled with glowing green nails thumped on the coffee table.

"Fiona and I could put them to sleep." Ryan offered as Fiona chugged another cup of coffee and twirled the bat.

"Not yet you two. It's too fucking early for that." Geoff  groaned running a pale tattooed hand down his face. 

"It's never too early for a bit of a scare." Ryan joked with a small smile. His purple eye glowed and moved separately of his other more human eye. It almost looked hungry as it turned towards the window. Michael growled as he shoved Ryan who laughed as he crashed lightly into Fiona.

"More like a murder!" Michael shouted. Fiona gurgled angrily as she reached over Ryan and shoved Michael. Geoff closed his eyes and sighed, not that anyone could tell with how much he squinted.

"Alright you three stop that. You'll wake the whole city." Geoff scolded them.

"Or just us." Jack said, padding in with Matt and Lindsay at his heels. Mat grumbled, his little wings fluttering as he rose into the air and shot off to the coffee maker. Fiona yelped, clutching her coffee and shielding it from Matt's dash. Lindsay yawned and shook yellow dust from her hair as it sprang to life and cackled with heat turning a soft orange.

"Sorry guys." Ryan apologized sheepishly, sipping from a cube of diet coke, as Lindsay flopped down across the four others on the couch. There was a resounding oof from the others as Jack shook their head black, green mossy scales shining in the sunrise.

"Jeremy, Alfredo and Gav still asleep?" Jack asked shuffling over to the open loveseat as Matt hovered with a cup of coffee nearby.

"Jeremy and Alfredo still, Gav just fell asleep." Geoff explained as Jack groaned.

"Again? Do we need to sleep on him again?" Jack asked as Fiona snorted.

"He'd love that." Fiona said wiggling her eyebrows and Lindsay snorted. 

"We could make sure someone is in the position to make him feel loved." Lindsay joked. "I'm sure Michael wouldn't mind."

Michael went to reply but Geoff interrupted. 

"Alright assholes leave it. I doubt blowing the guy would help much. It's the students across the street. They aren't sleeping." Geoff explained Jack nodded.

"Right. Bastard cant sleep if someone is awake nearby." Matt said, moving back to the kitchen and grabbing a bag of chips.

"Its 6 am and you're grabbing doritos?" Fiona asked.

"Fuck off at least I'm eating." Matt said around a mouthful of doritos. 

"Its finals week right? They should sleep regularly soon I doubt we have to worry." Ryan pointed out, his purple eye swirling around. Fiona winced as it sped over her.

"Ryan for fucks sake I feel like you're eye is going to eat something." Fiona said shoving a pillow in Ryan's face. "Get an eye patch."

"Stop staring at it Fiona!" Ryan said, covering his eyes with his hands and flinging his cube of Diet coke across the room.

"Oh for fucks sake. Kids lay off it's too early." Jack scolded and Michael had enough and shoved Lindsay onto the floor. "Let's get some food."

By 8am breakfast was made and the smell lured Jeremy from his room and into the kitchen. 

"Well look whose here. Morning sleeping beauty." Michael teased as he stepped in front of the shorter man. Jeremy stopped in front of Michael who held up a cup of coffee. Silently the half awake man opened his mouth, revealing rows of black sharp teeth. Michael silently poured the semi warm liquid down Jeremy's throat until the cup was empty. 

As you do.

"Hey get over here and eat before it gets too cold." Ryan insisted beckoning Jeremy over. Jeremy sat down, his black skeletal hands hovering over the table but not touching. Ryan smirked the eye patch he was wearing was bright green with a little daisy on it that shone in the sunlight. "Open up and players line up to take a shot."

Jeremy opened his mouth and, as most mornings the others all lined up and started throwing food at Jeremy. It had become a tradition, rather than either waiting for Jeremy to wake up or letting him rot the food the moment he touched it, the others started tossing his breakfast at him to catch. It worked, and made for a great game every morning.

After several shots of bacon from Jack and one very messy egg from Lindsay, Geoff lined up some potatoes and sent the spuds flying towards Jeremy. Only for the spuds to splat on Jeremy's face. 

"Fuck! It's in my eyes! Geoff the fuck?!" Jeremy shouted as the potatoes began to turn black and disintegrate. Geoff roared with laughter, his laughter pitching up into a high whistling wheeze and a little puff of smoke escaped from his mouth. Jeremy sneered as he scooped up Ryan's eggs, earning and indignant "Hey!" From Rayn, and hurled them at Geoff.

There was a satisfying splat as the eggs collided with Geoff's face. And from there breakfast devolved.

Alfredo entered the kitchen all his arms stretching and eight eyes blinking at the sunlight then blinking away bacon grease as a plate of bacon slapped him in the face. Alfredo sighed, swiping the bacon from his face and stuffing it into his mouth.

Welp. When in rome.

By 10am the food fight has ended, the kitchen cleaned up and the Crew has begun to move on to business. Those who could fly did, taking to the air of the penthouse to leave room closer to the floor for others. 

Fiona was down in the private gym with Alfredo, the Drowned and Cave Spider sparred and talked crowd control for the up coming heist.

Ryan and Jeremy were in the armory with michael running inventory and cleaning weapons. The Enderman, Wither and Guardian chatting calmly about possible explosives and points of entry.

Lindsay, Geoff and Jack were in the command center, running through Plans and blueprints. The Blaze, Ghast and Creeper chose targets and contingency plans. 

Gavin finally woke up by noon. The Phantom stretched his Membrane and yawned, joining the planning team by 1230. The day would continue from there, plans would be laid and prep work would be finished.but the morning would gave already slipped by in a nice haze of well earned laziness.

[butch-himbo-king]

thank you @ghostquarthot for tagging me!!! what was your last… drink - i had 6 peach redbulls on the drive home last night/this morning phone call - my sister text message - my brother asking abt a puppy play date song you listened to - be my mistake by the 1975 time you cried - its been a few days actually which is pretty good for me (unless this counts crying from laughing bc i did that a few times this weekend) have you ever… dated someone twice - kind of? i think so maybe been cheated on - oof yeah lol :/// lost someone special - yea been depressed - yee babey gotten drunk and thrown up - nah its pretty fucking hard to get me drunk at all tbh in this year, have you… made a new friend - a few! fallen out of love - nope laughed until you cried - yeee met someone who changed you - not yet found out who your true friends are - i mean i've found out some of my friendships arent exactly what i thought they were but they're all still friends kissed someone on your facebook list - don't have fb general… how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life - do not have do you have any pets - i have two dogs and two cats! technically they're family pets, steven is the only one who's Mine do you want to change your name - i b thinkng abt it A Lot but idk if i could and also i can't decide on one i like lol what did you do for your last birthday - went to work, took a nap, went to gym, went to bed what time did you wake up - I’ve been up since like 3pm yesterday what were you doing at midnight last night - driving and going insane from spending too long alone in the car what’s something you can’t wait for - im going down to nashville to see one of my brothers soon!!!!! when was the last time you saw your mum - uhhh thursday morning at like 5am what are you listening to right now - blackbird by beeches have ever met a person named tom- a few, yea what’s something that gets on your nerves - the fact that i misgender myself basically all the time bc i'm an idiot lmao :/ what’s your blood type - okay i know its O but idk if its + or - nickname - sometimes ppl here call me king lmao. also my family calls me sis and sister sarah a lot and i Hate It but i guess it counts? relationship status - single zodiac sign - libra sun, leo moon, taurus rising pronouns - they/them fav tv show - probably avatar the last airbender tbh. but also (don't judge me for this) my brother and i watch the bachelor/bachelorette/bachlor in paradise together every week lol tattoos - none yet but i have plans for a sleeve and a few other pieces right or left handed - right but i can use my left for most stuff too and also there are a few things i Can't do with my right hand but i can do with my left lol first… surgery - none babeyyy piercing - only one i have is my septum best friend - i met my best friend kam when we were 5 years old and i'm gonna be in her wedding this spring/summer!!! sport - basketball babeyyyy! vacation - i don't remember the first trip but when i had family in florida we would go down to visit them on spring break right now… eating - nothing drinking - water i’m about to - clean up my head! fresh buzz babeyyyy!!!!!! listening to - adore by amy shark waiting for - nap time want kids - i think so but also not really but also yea i do but also no thank you get married - yea! career - bruh i don’t fucking knowwwwwww which is better… hugs or kisses - hugs lips or eyes - eyes shorter or taller - i don't really have a preference tbh but almost every girl i've liked has been taller than me lol older or younger - doesnt Super matter to me as long as its only a few years and theres no power imbalance there romantic or spontaneous - i like the idea of romantic but i think i'm definitely more aquainted with spontaneous nice arms or nice stomach - bro they're All Nice but theres nothin better than a nice tummy to lay your head on tbh sensitive or loud - sensitive hook up or relationship - either bc im a slut but i also b havin a heart trouble maker or hesitant - i'm trouble maker so maybe i need someone more hesitant but also who's gonna say no to doubling the chaotic energy u kno? have you ever… kissed a stranger - define stranger... drank hard liquor - yes sex on the first date - yea broke someone’s heart - i dont think so? had your heart broken - i don't think so been arrested - nope cried when someone died - yea fallen for a friend - oof yea a little :/ do you believe in… yourself - lmao no miracles - not sure tbh love at first sight - no santa claus - nope kiss on the first date - yea boi! angels - ehhhh i'm kinda just like... who knows u kno? tag time! y'all don't have to do this if don't want, we just vibin but i tag @kaloi-jeni-doxun @kirbymilkshake @soontobedrifter @sleepiestdyke @sapphicluxanna @dyketitties and @toofemmetofunction

[sal421]

Its 5am and i wanna get a bowl of rice crispys out of the cabinet but my brother is sleeping on the couch thats almost basically in front of the kitchen . . . Oof

[maxinajar]

oof, i don't read that much fanfiction so this is gonna be a bit difficult. (these are in no particular order as they all have great things about them and i think if i actually tried to rank them i would cry) But um,

1) Deceit, Shape Shifting by @squipfromjapan - A bittersweet fic about Deceit not really being able to accept that the others don't love him and never will.

2) Cold Noodles by @5am-the-foxing-hour - A cute little fic about a cold Deceit clinging to a warm Thomas after being summoned by the others

3) Roman and Logan's Dark Strange Son by @snowe-zolynn-rogers - I’m not caught up with this one yet but I really like what I have read so far. Its a story about Roman and Logan basically adopting Deceit out of spite (and because they love the little snake guy). Its got some angst but also some really sweet moments as well.

4) The Birth of Deceit by @thesoftestlittlepuffball - This one is sooo cute. Thomas’s first lie! And an adorable Deceit + being loved and accepted by the other sides. I love this one so much.

5) Roses with Thorns by @analogicalhell - This one almost made me cry. It's really sad, but also sweet. It does have lots of emotional manipulation in it and is very highly critical of both Virgil and Patton, but there is a good ending as far as I remember.

I really have got to read more fanfiction, oof. But seriously, I recommend all of these fics. They are really good!

[monohart]

stardust. (idol!au)

ft. huang renjun, failure and a secret relationship.

i’m back after a long break, haha. this was an old writing that had been sitting up in my drafts for a while... happy 2019! please spend this year showing more love to renjun. :)

thank you, and enjoy!

when you were cut from the line up for sm’s new group renjun was 100 times more devastated then u were

u were like hey rj cmon don’t worry i’ll be fine??? i’m sure i can audition for another company or smth?? or wait for the next unit debut??

u even jokingly said maybe u could debut in an nct unit but he couldn’t bring himself to smile

and your chest :(( hurt :(( from seeing him so hurt ;;;

ofc for as long as you remember y’all had been talking about both debuting under sm at the same time so y’all could be chasing your dreams and not be too far away from each other

but that plan failed when renjun debuted first with nct dream and had his schedule Packed w nct promotions and concerts and stuff

he and the other nct guys would sometimes let u sit behind the camera in vlives

this one time omg

(( ok so refer to this for a visual :) ))

u sat behind the camera in the chenle jaemin renjun react to baby don’t stop vlive

even though u were hella scared to be kicked out chenle was like HEY DW I’LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE OKAY

so u snuck out of your practice session slightly earlier to watch them

renjun was so excited u were there but obvs he had to keep it together for the live

then!! lolololol rip your manager found out u snuck out of practice and found u in the room and pulled u out of the room

(u kno that moment when they all looked behind the camera and then turned down the music.. yeah issa bc ur crazy manager almoST ruined the mood)

manager scolded u outside the room for a good few minutes and then told u to get yourself together

and u stood outside the room for a bit longer after manager left

and u were literally about to leave but then guess who u ran into!!!

chittaphon knew about u and rj since the day he met u and him both

it was kinda funny really bc u and rj stood rly awkwardly next to each other at this company event a few years ago and y’all were standing around the other dreamies and some other trainees and suddenly renjun’s hand brushed the side of your leg and u glance at him and he smiles at u and u look away smiling

AND chittaphon, who happens to be taking a nice long sip of his soda SEES THIS and spits his soda out

accidentally sprays soda onto jeffery’s back

but yeah thats another story

anyway!!!!

ten sees u sulking outside the door and peers in and sees renjun and hears bds

u know that smile smirk ten does when he knows whats Up™.

yeah he does that and be like

“eyy why don’t u go in???”

then u give him a breakdown of what happened with skipping practice and being caught by the manager

and hes like :o

but chittaphon is chittaphon so he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back into the practice room and hides you in a corner just out of view

and then he sneaks onto them!!

then jaemin... quick-eyed, lovely doe-eyed jaemin... sees u hiding and nudges renjun ever so slightly

he sees u and before he gets flustered ten’s all over him asking how the mv was and flustered rj tries to keep his cool while showering chittaphon w compliments

and u know how ten looks at him like That :^)

and jaemin keeps peeking over their shoulders

yeah :))

OK I SPENT TOO LONG DESCRIBING THIS

but anyway, on that night u were cut from the line up

after the news got to him he sits down and was just like

:(

because he knew how much debuting meant to u and

and... YOUR DREAMS TO BE TOGETHER :(( debuting together and always being close to each other

and u mentioned before that if u dont debut in the next five years u prolly would quit the entertainment industry

maybe go back to school and study some or idk work in a less chaotic industry

in that moment he remembered what u said and was a little heartbroken too

he tried to find you in your usual practice room but u weren’t there and he shouldn’t be loitering around so he gave up and let you have some space

bet u he sulked all the way home

you had travelled back to your dorm because u needed some time alone oof

it took u a good few hours to deal with the news and when u were ready to talk about it again, it was like 3am but u still gave his mobile a call

he picked up on the second ring and said to meet him outside your dorm in a few mins and y’all can go take a walk or smth for some fresh air

so u guys go to the park for a nice quiet walk in the dead of night hhh

u had so many things to say but mostly u were worried with your relationship w him and how y’all were supposed to balance that out given his priorities with nct and you as... just a trainee...

u didnt have to explain anything or other bc he suddenly goes

“what if we went public with our relationship?”

u look up at his face that was hidden behind a mask and his glasses

u deadass thought he was kidding but his that look in his eyes were like hella serious

“just think about it for a second. maybe we don’t have to bring it to the fans, but at least let the company know”

and u were like no way they’ll just do anything to keep yall apart

he didnt answer after that and not too long later yall started heading back to your dorm

it was almost 5am and the streets were still dark and renjun had an arm around your waist and you leant against him and yall walked slowly bc honestly u guys haven’t slept a wink and its been a Really Long day

your dorm was a street away from his

actually he stops about a street or two away from your dorm bc another idol group also lived in the same building as u and there were always sasaengs and people w cameras outside your dorm

u were a trainee so it didnt bother u but renjun was renjun :,)

plus he actually wanted sum privacy so he could kiss u.. so...

hsaksdnd

there was a narrow alley just around the back of the apartment block next to yours

u would never go there alone kasdnj it was scary at any time of the day

tbh

u wouldn’t go even if someone was there with u

maybe it was the heat of the moment or u were just so down that day

it didn’t rly bother u when renjun gently backed u up against the wall and hugged u n took off his mask n buried his face in the crook of ur neck

and that immediately put a smile on your face ur like baby wyd its 5am

hes looks at u like :(( and says “i miss u” in a quiet quiet voice & in his mother tongue

u knew what it meant and hearing him say it in chinese made you uwu to mars

then he showers u with like tiny tiny butterfly kisses and he wraps his arms around u to make u feel safe and warm

which u do!!

he holds u up too when ur knees buckle a bit but then just continues kissing u hehehe

its all sweet and innocent but his kisses last just a tiny bit longer each time, as if hes scared that you’d run away

after he finishes kissing u he meets your eyes and u literally watch his orbs go all soft and he hides his face in your neck again while u mutter about how much of a big baby he is

the goodnight was!!!

the hardest thing y’all had to do omg

he literally didnt want to let u go

and when he did and when u started walking toward ur building u kept looking back, wanting him to head off but he didnt and stood there waiting for u to go in

and u didnt want to go in without knowing he was on his way home and was safe on the walk back wdf it was almost 6am

then when u were almost at the door u saw he hadn’t moved an inch

so u run back to him

he was still standing at the spot where y’all parted - which was a few streets down and out of sight

he scolds u for running back out but he smiles when doing so and u snap his mask back onto his face and kisses him over the mask like 200 times and u couldnt see but hes like dying from the giggles

anyway eventually y’all go home :,) it just took forever :,)

the next day u head to the building in the afternoon to catch up on some sleep

u were a bit guilty to find out renjun went back to work at 7am which meant he practically didnt get any sleep

y’all brush shoulders in the cafeteria but he was walking w hyuck and his manager so u couldn’t stop and chat

tho u couldn’t help but notice his manager steal a glance at u when u walked by and he had this really weird smile on his lips

made u go like huh.,, maybe he recognises me from the many Brief encounters yall had before

anyway u were doing some vocal and keyboard practice later in the afternoon when the door to the private training suite opened and two loud boys stumbled in

made u rly surprised bc u never expected it to be them??

it was taeyong and winwin??

they were both looking at u like :))) as if they did something great :))

taeyong introduces himself formally but you’re like ,, um u know we’ve met before at this function and hes like OH,,, sorry

anyway they were there to tell u how renjun couldn’t shut up about u since he went back to the dorm last night and now all of nct knows about everything to know about u and him (if they hadn’t already)

you’re just like .,, oof what embarrassing stuff did he say

they’re like NO ALL NICE STUFF,, a bit cringey at times

but !! nct wanted to help u

so earlier today

johnny and jaehyun spoke to their managers and night night producers and asked if they could hire a third radio dj - yknow someone who also speaks english and is really nice and entertaining and funny and cool like u are!!

that idea is now In The Talks

winwin brought up a variety thing china line and their managers had been thinking about for a while and also asked if they could consider u

nct managers be like ok so who actually is this trainee and why are all 18 boys obsessively asking to include her in nct activities

later that day when u see renjun again he was just heading off but he came around your practice room to see u before he left

thankfully u were the only one left at practice as the others were away busy preparing for their debut or smth :,)

u didnt hear him come in bc u were sitting in the middle of the room on the floor scrolling replying to week old texts oop hehe

renjun sneaks up behind u and hugs u from behind and kisses your cheek

he got a bit scared when u didn’t respond as explosively as he thought... for a second he thought he got the wrong person poor bean he was so nervous hhh

you chuck your phone aside and tackle him and he falls onto his back and yall kinda lay there on the ground for a bit

and you told him about taeyong and winwin visiting u and he just smiles

“you inspire me.”

“me? inspire you? you’re huang freakin’ renjun, and i, of all people, inspire you?”

“yeah”

“don’t understand u sometimes”

he turns his head to look at u and u turn to look at him and he kinda just admires you for a while then reach over and touches your cheek

it wasnt even a sweet caress or anything he literally just

touched

your cheek

“renjun what the heck”

then he laughs and u laugh and u snuggle against him and for the first time that week both of u feel completely at ease bc even though the dream u guys shared at the beginning was completely shattered,

y’all would still find a way around it

and knowing so many people around u still supported u guys meant so much

especially to renjun bc u were his everything and he’d do anything for u

and i mean it!!!

[twracehorse]

Cringing at my own videos

Training Videos Edition!

I got bored, needed motivation to start editing, went back to take a look at my older videos, and now I judge and cringe at them because that’s a given at this stage

Under the cut to keep your dash shorter :3

Determined Horse Training, the title I came up with to be a little unique. I obviously couldn’t use something akin to Northena’s “Training Is Fun...Right?” and I wanted to give it a proper title knowing this would be a series of videos. I thought, and thought, and came up with the title after thinking of Undertale and how you are filled with determination in the game. “I am filled with determination to train these horses!” is what I thought and so the title of the series became that!

I use // as a way to separate different topics I’m talking about

Brave Rebel- First off...the thumbnail. He was originally themed sort of after Nathan Drake from Uncharted, since I was into that series at the time. So the map was, you know, for the treasure hunting. But I didn’t want to stretch the map to fit and somehow decided that a brown background was a good idea?? // AH THE CLOTHES! THE NECK!! AHHH GATORADE OCEAN BLEHH. // Oh yeah I have a spelling error in the video “Let’s go defeat this traning day!”. // Been training with Sage from the start of the series. I wonder how many fails of their’s I’ve caught XD // Ah the rocks, the rocks that I caught Sage stumbling out of in a later training video. // Let’s not forget the double mouse thing going on that makes its appearance in many videos before I figured out to click off of the web pages (which had a music playlist going while training). // Omg there’s someone with the club name The Babies standing nearby when I turn in the final race. // Low-key still love this horse. He was my first true Soul Steed before we were designated to our starter. I don’t take him out much, the difference in horse animations from new to old is getting bigger and for dynamic photos, it just doesn’t look good ( @~@)

Cool Hero- The horse based off of Markiplier back when he had red hair. I also uploaded the video on his birthday! // The song choice....I mean it fits the theme, otherwise I’d pick a better song. // The mini references I’m still low-key proud of. // There’s quite the amount of gliding pons in this video and some horror texture pons. // I obviously had to max Markimoo at the observatory! // I also mimicked Mark’s outros where an image is boomeranging. It took a couple tries with my friend in the background, but it was worth it!

Violet Mystery- I hope when I introduced her as “The winner of the Jorvik Wild horse competition” I mean, she was the first coat to be picked. Back when it was only one horse coat is being made. They added the top two coats afterwards. // Oh yeah the character’s whole head would move to the side to keep eye contact with the camera. // It’s so weird to think that I caught a bit of footage of Swifty just before meeting her. Then again I remember NOT editing this training video until months later and uploaded it in September. Mind you that I got Cool Hero and Violet Mystery at the same time and Cool Hero’s video was out in June...oops. // Ironic that I have the pandoric cracks around when the horse is based off them. // People running up from the riding arena, ah the fog glitch that would happen when you left your horse in the riding area, ran all the way to the dino valley elevator, took it, and there was no fog in the valley! 

Megalove- Ah the first Undertale horse! I mean technically still the only Undertale themed horse I have, but I do have others planned. Haven’t gotten them yet and some plans changed. // The thumbnail....why did I make the stickers super tiny?? // Finally changed Elsa’s hairstyle to the ponytail I still wear to this day. We need updated ponytails with side bangs! I know we have the awesome braided ponytail in Mistfall, but there’s too much forehead! // Also the first training footage with the meet up....was 4 hours long. This was back when I recorded all stages of training and went through the footage in real time....I’m glad I changed strategy. // Can’t remember if crashing into a jump and the jump of the music timed at the same point was on purpose or if it was editing magic. // Oof cringing that I put comic sans as Sans “talking” in the video nnngghhhhh! // Ah my old club name Royal Ambassadors. I gave that club over to my side account Chiara Monsterhope for obvious reasons. // Annoying Dog in the credits, I still love that

Lucky Hero- I’m still proud that I came up with his nickname Vien short of Vienna where the famous riding school is. He, along with Brave Rebel, are my top horses. Please get an update eventually boys! // Finally Mac users had clear water! I was so happy over this you do not understand XD // Warriors by Imagine Dragons fits this horse, but quite a pain when I got Dark Warrior and didn’t want repeating songs. // Oh yeah early on, the Lipizzaners had a weird reflective tail glitch going on. // Vien was the first horse of mine that I got the day of release, bright and early in the morning! // I love how in the face of danger, an approaching bull dozer, I just stare at it. It wasn’t even a “oh no I should get out of the way” and instead was “huh that’s a thing”. // ALLY CHUM! I forgot that was a nickname to good friend!

Grey Ghost- OH BOY HERE WE GO!! Honestly my favorite training video. It was so much fun to edit with the music and the Halloween stickers hidden around the screen! Despite waking up at 5am to train for that aesthetic™. // Okay but that mushroom with the dark green sign did legit give me a spook. My body froze for a second and then I remembered that Slenderman doesn’t exist in Star Stable XD. // Ngl two of the stickers are hard to see cause of their surroundings. // GALLOPER THOMPSON MY MAN! Honestly I waited till midnight for him to be in Goldenleaf forest, just to see what would happen if you were racing and he caught you. By the gods of editing magic, the song was at a good point that fits perfectly with that scene. // For the scarecrow race I did actually take two different takes. I failed the first one and when I was editing I noticed that the two runs looked similar. So I put the first part of run 1 and cut before I failed and then put the remaining of the race with run 2. Looks almost seamless! 

Silent Promise- My favorite mare in my stable! She ends up being my AoT cosplay photo horse...until I get the actual themed horse XP. // Shadows were a little glitchy at first. // Why am I using Rud instead of Rude. Like I know why cause that’s how we got around the filter, but I didn’t need to put it like that in the video. It’s like back in my WolfQuest days where I learned to use Cuz as a short version of Cause and it bled into my text vocab. // The witch bombs...I wanted to make it dramatic, but in hindsight it’s just tasteless really. Also to note that the sound which was fine before uploading, got more rough once it was on YouTube

Small Potential- Real cringe theme here, Hetalia. It was fun while watching and all that, but since then I’ve seen some well done anime! Growth! // I love the nickname Finny. Not too sure if I want to keep this pony or not, sadly. // The Christmas remix song is because I had no other ideas XD

Brave Eagle- Oh this is another slight cringe theme. Even more cringe is the fact that I had to re-upload this training video since it got blocked all over the world! due to the Hamilton musical songs. So I....had to layer over the songs with other songs....it’s a whole mess and was a whole pain since I had to re-edit the sound effects. // I’m proud of the thumbnail though....that’s it

Winter Dust- Why did I make the “there’s a new app with these foals you can train” with the dramatic music? // I think because I had less levels to train, I tried filling that space with “cool looking shots”. // Ah, yes, my How To Get Over A Jump wikipedia step by step

Hollow Phantom- Had to bring a creepy vibe even though it was February. So he’s like a Halloween not Halloween horse. // Can you believe that I found the main song from a Haikyuu!! crack video? XD. // That zoom on the pony surrounded by magic shires was weird. We’re saying “SO TINY” but the clip was so short it was done and over without much sense. // Mmm that slight irritation that the music and clip didn’t match with the drop. // Tried to blend the music together with itself....it’s obvious. // Of course had to max the Galloper horse where I first met the phantom himself

North Guardian- I wanna talk about the thumbnail....that background...is literally just the horse’s hindquarters. I wanted something mossy since the horse is sort of based off of Pelagia from Shadow of the Colossus. I couldn’t find good enough backgrounds, so I used the horse itself. // Again that urge to want to make the clip and music match but ahhh

Lucky Lucky- Still wish I could name this horse Gold Luck or something. // I think one of the camera turns during a race was just to show off the rainbow nearby. // Ahh! back when we could say “demon” in the chat. // Hmm instead of letting the clip run, I could’ve just cut to Reed calling the askew fence “a disgrace”. // Text was onscreen for just too long. // Trying to do the riding arena jumps with a good camera angle. But at that point, the camera kept moving and wouldn’t hold still. I’m glad it’s better now. Maybe I’ll try it again with a future horse. // Huh, forgot to add sound effects when I hit something on the last race

Silent Surprise- Cause I had to let the people know that I bought the horse after watching the Belmont. // AH STILL THE NECK! // 2 minutes in and we haven’t even gotten to the actual training yet. // Another day, another SSO glitch, this time it’s shadow rocks. // Oop missed a sound effect

Hot Spot- THE MUSTACHE! // I forgot I put a filter over the video to give it an old timey look. I should do more like that if it’s in theme. // Of course I had to have The Wanted be playing with this song since it’s old west sounding. // What was the purpose of editing the scarecrow race like that? XD. // Random running clip. // Walking the whole bobcat race would be nice if I didn’t keep moving the camera

Pumpkin Candy- As much as I love my Halloween horses, this training video isn’t up to the standards that the first Halloween training video set up. It’s still got Halloween themed music, it’s still got stickers hidden in the video, but it doesn’t feel the same. // Having text be their default instead of making them the same agh. // The spooky filter I overlayed the clips with changes at times. Would be nice if it stayed consistent

Dragon Dawn- Hmm now that I have more songs to choose from (getting into another artist as much as I did with The Wanted), I would have another song playing to fit the horse better. Maybe Euphoria or Mikrokosmos. Oh well those will be for future horses eventually! // Didn’t drop with the music...disappointed

Thunder Spirit- The horse that trains through three months. You can easily tell by the Valentine race, the rainbows of March, and April Fools. // Man I really need to work on making the text not be so BIG. // The first rainbow race had lots of sound effects. After that one I was just like “yeah not doing that again”

Sun Chaser- Eh the slowed down music is not the best idea. But I think it was also an intro to a remix of the song. So it was only so long and I had a bit to say for the intro of the horse. // The second clip of the mysterious Icelandic cryptid you can’t see them once it zooms in....annoying. // Too much of a slow build up with another cryptid spotting. // Also using the same sound but slower after just using it...smooth (not). // You know the very last clip of the horse as he’s turning around on the beach? Yeah that’s the exact moment I did the intro for the horse XD

Dragon Warrior- The contrast between me and Sage’s bantering vs the sadder song (I found the song because of a Zeno AMV) well it’s kinda weird having laughs and then sad melody. // YouTube again ruins the quality of the mic as it sounds fuzzier than it was pre-uploaded. // Low-key recording voices was fun aside from having to make sure the clips matched the voices and clicking of the mouse. // I’m still annoyed I couldn’t find the perfect snoring sound effect when Sage’s Connemara is sleeping and starts gliding away

Smoke Mirror- A little too much of a pause between text in the intro. // I love how I’m wearing a Halloween shirt because no other shirt matched with the blue of the hat except for the dress it came with THAT I GOT RID OF! 

Obsidian Mystery- I love the thumbnail for her training video. It’s so spooky and cool! Favorite thumbnail of the entire series right there. // Ironic that with the three Halloween horses I’ve had. The two with the upbeat music are the ones where Galloper was present that year. The one where Galloper was missing that October, the music was softer, generic Halloween music. Not intentional, but it works. Though the first Halloween training video still gets the trick-or-treats because it has nostalgic music. // Some text isn’t easily visible

Dark Warrior- The horse I wish I could name Secret Warrior cause that would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE than Dark Warrior, but here we are. // Since Warriors by Imagine Dragons was in a previous training video, I had to search for another song to fit the horse. I literally went through those anime character theme song videos to find one! That was a terrible jump cut of the song

Ember Flame- Coming Soon

[maetaamong]

ship your mutuals with idols?! 💝

oof this is gonna take me actual yeaRS bless this is so soft tho

Note: I’m not gonna give you your bias just bECAUSE they’re your bias but … you can cross your fingers and hope

Other Note: Everyone gets one gif, my main squad gets a summary, and everyone gets a few sentences saying where you and your idol would most commonly be found.

The Main Squad

@howcaniwait - Day6 Young K

I’ve known you for like what… 4 years now ??? I like to think I know you fairly well. And my guess is that you’d do well with someone who you can joke around with but still occasionally be soft with. You definitely don’t need anyone who would be touchy touchy (PDA is a no for Charlie). SO I chose the one and only Special K himself. You guys would make fun of the other Day6 boys on like a daily basis and I don’t get clingy vibes from him so you wouldn’t have to worry about PDA.

Charlie and Young K would most commonly be found exploring new cities and alternating between taking aesthetically pleasing pics of your surroundings and shitty selfies.

@thedaysix - Day6 Jae 

Boo you’re the resident mom of our lovely little gc and I think you definitely have a good responsibility and motherly streak in you. Despite that you’re still down to steal 18 bananas and scREAM your lungs out at your favourite butter biscuit man. So I think you’d do well with Jae (not just cause you’d eat Texas for him). Jae is a bit of a dork and is more than capable of throwing cares to the wind and having a blast and a half. He can still reel it back and use his brain every once in a while though. 

Boo and Jae would most commonly be found either trying to trick Wonpil into thinking that certain English words have different meanings than they actually do, or running off to some random pet store and pretending to be interested in buying the puppies and kittens but actually just wanting to pet them all.

@undinefin - iKON Chanwoo

Like Charlie I feel like you would do well with someone pretty chill and down to just roll around in bed for hours on end. Chanwoo is a lazy boy who will sit in front of my big ass computer for days. BUT at the same time the boy is willing to go and have a blast and a half somewhere every once in a while. On top of that, the boy is cheeky as fuck. He will not hesitate to roast the other boys and have some fun.

The two of them would most commonly be found sitting at home, complaining about people and showing each other weird music, anime, and video games.

@01yoonjin - Seventeen Jeonghan

Nom you’re such a smart, fun, loving, cheeky, and caring gal. You have the biggest brain and an even bigger heart. You’re gonna go far my friend. You and Jeonghan are both quick witted but also lazy sometimes and would take some of the best naps together.

Nom and Jeonghan would frequently be found cuddling on the sofa at home while watching a Disney movie and trying really hard to stay awake as they eat all the snacks.

@astrayminho - Stray Kids Jeongin

Soft, pure sometimes, and ready to make some friends. Fath you’re so loving and fun, you always manage to bring a smile to my face. Your spelling can be atrocious sometimes but we all know its just cause you can’t get your words out fast enough. 

Fath and Jeongin would be the pair to spontaneously go to an arcade and have a pinball battle or try and prank Chan by changing all of the clocks in the house behind 6 hours.

@chuuyo - BTS Suga

Pretty laid back and almost intimidating initially, both Nic and Yoongs can seem a lil bit scary at first (at least in my opinion) bUT in reality they’re both excitable nutbars. With so much energy and love to share. (I’m calling you out on being an actual softie™, Nic)

Nic and Yoongi would be the couple to make each other spir of the moment gifts that they then try to play off as not soft when they give them to each other.

@sambashua - Monsta X’s Minhyuk

“because they’d be that punk couple who beats others up” - Sheep

Mir you’re… hard to pin down, my friend. You’re a bit enigmatic sometimes but overall are just the sweetest and most loving gal. You carry a cloud of happiness with you everywhere you go. Which is why I chose Minhyukkie for you. He’s a little strange but is so very loving and happy and beautiful.

Mir and Minhyuk would most commonly be found sprinting around public parks to pet dogs and escape birds all while having the best of fun and taking some of the cutest selfies.

The Squid Squad

@chipsandwaffles - NCT Doyoung

the second I saw that gif I was like aha thats it, thats the one for sheep

You’re just about the most devoted Doyoung stan I’ve yet to meet. You’re undyingly loyal, my friend.

Regardless of all of that, you and Dodo are both a complex mix of lazy and hardworking. Idc what you say, you work hard on you writing and create actual masterpieces. 

Sheep and Doyoung would just sleep from 4am-Noon on a daily basis and spend another couple hours just rolling around in a half asleep state. They’d also be that weird couple who would wake up at like 5am to go on a spontaneous drive to who the fuck knows where just cause they can.

@hyuckkks​ - NCT Haechan

Keet and Hyuck would most commonly be found scrEAMING over sth or someone. Maybe it’s a bug, maybe it’s cake, maybe it’s Jisung. Who knows tbh. They’d be that couple who were the best of friends before anything else and made fun of each other and their friends on an hourly basis.

@savvysayyss ​- NCT Taeil

I almost put in a gif of him in a vneck but decided to spare you

Sophie and Taeil would most commonly be found complaining about how “old” they are and referring to themselves as fossils. When in reality these two are soft and sweet as can be and can be found sitting side by side during car rides and giggling while showing each other photos of various sleeping animals.

@softperson ​- NCT Yuta

oof where do I even begin You are so whipped for Yuta, it’s almost ridiculous (I understand tho) You’re the best aunt and occasionally (I’m kidding ily) are responsible and honestly do give great advice. Yuta …. probably isn’t the most responsible bUT I feel like you could keep him from accidentally running off a cliff or sth (if you can control an all boys high school class I think you can deal with 1 Yuta). 

Shan and Yuta would be that weird couple who would drink wine with each other and complain about puzzles while simultaneously doing a puzzle at like midnight.

Also y’all are both nasty and dtf

@jaemms​ - NCT Jeno

San and Jeno can be commonly found curled up in the dream dorms sitting side by side while battling it out in Mario Kart or yelling at each other over what is the “right” way to play Zelda. Whether they’re exploring new places inside of a game, their own imaginations, or real life, the pair would be all smiles. 

@gijeon ​- Block B Kyung

Both Nana and Kyung are the type of people to glove up and fight the whole world for the people they hold dear to themselves. They would most commonly be found in the museums near their area. Whether or not they actually know anything about what the museum is talking about the two would have a blast. An art museum? They’re playing ”come up with a story behind every painting.” A history museum? They’re playing “pick your favourite time period to live in.”

@frosttyong - EXO’s Baekhyun

don’t punch me for not giving you Taeyong I had to give him to someone else

Baekhyun and Nat are both sinful as fuck, soft as fuck, and psycho as fuck. These nutbars would be commonly found trying to bargain their way out of having to pay $12 for a crappy band tee at a yard sale they stumbled upon. Neither of them have heard of the band and neither of them fit the shirt, they just want it for the giant unicorn on the front.

Den - BTS’ Jungkook

These two cheeky geniuses can be found at your local arcade somehow outsmarting and beating every game and challenge the place holds. The two would look like they were in the middle of a business negotiation while playing skeeball, while in all seriousness Jungkook just said that she could have his Twix if she beat him. She’s gonna win.

Punwiz - NCT’s Ten

PunBun and Ten would most commonly be found bouncing around an amusement park. In between walking to rides the two would be creating the worst puns inspired by their surroundings and telling each other weird jokes that only these two nutbars would understand.

Lin - Monsta X’s Kihyun

Kihyun and Lin both take some of the most aesthetically pleasing photos I’ve yet to see sO I think these two would go out on photography dates. They’d wander around in new cities, old cities, favourite cities, home cities, and more and just take pictures of anything interesting or funny or pretty they find.

That means Kihyun would be taking lot’s of pics of Lin.

@the-perfect-red-velvet - Stray Kids’ Bang Chan

My gal Sandra and my man Chan would be that constantly happy couple. You can either find Sandra being piggybacked around by Chan while he sprints up and down the halls of the JYP building or the two of them would be hidden away in their makeshift art studio (aka Chan’s studio) while Chan ruins the walls with paint and Sandra laughs and perfects her masterpiece.

@kpop-oppas-dream - NCT’s Jungwoo

Caite and Junguwu are a little shy sometimes but are amazingly hardworking. These two would be found, hand-in-hand, in cute little libraries. They’d be tucked away in a corner either reading, writing, or whispering happily amongst themselves. 

My Tumblr Gals

@smittenbyschmidt - NCT’s Taeyong

Aly and Tae would be most commonly found strolling around through parks and cafés looking like the most elegant couple ever while actuLLY they’re whispering about the cute dogs they’ve seen.

@cinnagyeom-roll - Got7′s Yugyeom

Gyeom and Yugyeom would most commonly be found getting kicked out of cute cafés as Gyeom tries to draw her boy but Yugyeom, being the crackhead he is, starts yeLLING about pigeons or sth and get’s them kicked out. 

@blushyhoonie - Seventeen’s Woozi

Ash and Jihoon would most commonly be found curled up in the boy’s studio. He would be writing lyrics and she would be writing stories. Neither would be talking but both are calm and happy. Later they would attempt to get the other to show off their creation whilst simultaneously trying to hide their own creation.

@hanniebear ​- iKON’s Ju-ne

Baz and Junhoe would most commonly be found touring around the popular restaurants in whatever area they’re in. Taking photos of the food and each other, with Junhoe yeLLING and Baz being her soft perfect self, they’d have a blast and a half together.

[musikat18]

I'm having back pain and its just fucking oof rn, but I wish u have a great night/day cause no one deserves back pain

!!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much, friend. It’s almost 5AM so we’re riding that line between night and day pretty good, but I thank you and send in return a heating pad, some pain medication, and the hot beverage of your choice~

(Feed My Box!)

[strawberrykit-kat]

Its almost 5am and i watched the 2016 arrival movie and was not disappointed. Fuckin Jeremy renner AND aliens? Good movie. Also im drawing some thorquill and coming to terms im bi/pan one of those. Yknow the one where i just like people if i like them. But i thought i was mainly attracted to men but oof girls are so damn cute and pretty i wanna cry. Im not sleeping for a long time

Its 2:30 am and i tired going back to sleep but fucking shit im still stressed so thats no happening. I only passed ojt earlier cuz i didnt sleep at all the night before. And i cried and had an anxiety attack at work so my eye is swollen and im pretty sure im developing a sinus infection cuz im that stressed out