#i cant do anything around here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cozylittleartblog · 4 months ago

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Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

#columbo #knight rider #art #michael knight #kitt #comic #highlight reel #crossover #telebeast #there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public #this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy #if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo #this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them #niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet #not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao #stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio #cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps #this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march #is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool #ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN #COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page #i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier #action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write #more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3 #there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty #i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes #the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔

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juniemunie · 6 months ago

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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

#junie art post #ink sans #error sans #utmv #errorink #implied. but yea not the focus #this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word #we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more #isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad #and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out #we put it away. abandon and leave it behind #what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating #yea that never left me #and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH #imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse #mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life #but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant #but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao #ahhh my favorite idiots. never change #mmmmm #deltarune

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angelfoodscake · 2 years ago

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i am SO SICK of this . im tired all day then i cant sleep during the night . i cant sleep in my living room because its open and scary and i keep hearing sounds . i cant sleep in my bedroom because its too quiet and too hot and too bright and my cat will come disturb me at 2 am

#i cant do anything around here #cant sleep at all #im so sick probably gonna move an air conditioner to my bed room #I JUST WANT TO SLEEEEPPPP #txt

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fromdarzaitoleeza · 9 months ago

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Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .

I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.

The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .

I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .

Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid

Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.

I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .

Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.

Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings

#i love everyone here i hope you all are really good and if you are not i will just hope you all will be eventually #things will get better guys give yourself a chance dont crosss oceans for people who cant cross a mile for you #choose yourself over and over again let things go let people leave when they want to #keep yourself happy you are all you have everything is temporary #do good for yourself don't do anything whixh will hurt you in any way shape of form #seem therapy if needed #always remember if it can happens once it can happen again #dont think too much about anything just live do your part feed yourself well #find happiness in small acts of your living #this stupid blog is currently still active on Instagram in case you want to read more of poetry #remember you deserve all good things but don't go around hurting people #take care of your heart bye 🫂❤️‍🩹

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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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whisperinggbreeze · 11 months ago

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"Has anyone here heard of a god known as the Crown Prince of Xianle?"

Silence.

"Where did you hear that name?" A voice asked sharply. It belonged to General Xuan Zhen.

"I read it in a scroll, and I was curious why I'd never heard of such an interesting figure," Hua Cheng replied smoothly. "It seems like everyone is in the know except me."

General Xuan Zhen scoffed. "If by 'interesting figure,' you mean 'pain in the ass,' then sure. Be glad you've never heard of him. Don't mention him again."

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lesbiradshaw · 2 years ago

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6.15 - pressure test

#for someone who supposedly doesnt care ab other peoples emotions theo sure is in tune w liams LMFAOOO #psychoanalyzing him at every given moment and predicting when hes about to get upset #‘something around here is triggering you’ ‘it’s working’ ‘are you really gonna kill him?’ like Okay #and no I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOHT THE ASS LIGHTING OF THIS SHOW SOMETIMES!#thiam #theo raeken/liam dunbar #theo raeken x liam dunbar #theo/liam #theo x liam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #teen wolf

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xxplastic-cubexx · 12 days ago

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Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG

the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside

Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online

#snap chats #clerk fully provides this information straight faced. by the way. and still pointing out those are for “”“”“The Dog”“”“”“”“#inviting all of you to assume the three of them became Vaguely Acquainted while charles and erik were fran shopping #like you know how you just happen to do small talk while at the store. at least five months of accidental small talk has led to this moment #'oh yeah i know these are his favorite- [Insert Food Here] right' and charles doesnt have to turn around or probe eriks mind #to know he's itching to leave the store but he cant just do that lest he validate this clerks suspicions #charles absolutely wants to try to laugh it off and tell the clerk he cant give these to his dog but the clerk Just Stares #they dont gotta say anything else ... charles dont gotta read their mind ... he wont argue he'll just swallow his shame and take the goods #anyways ... if anyone needs me ... im gonna succumd to the 3PM nap #i almost made it to 4 but alas ... i am sleepy ... then im gonna work SO im done answering asks for the evening #maybe ill answer some more tonight but i really have to focus. after my nap BYYYYEEEE #im gonna giggle about this new scenario tho ... Cherik Pet Shenanigans Somehow Getting Goofier Than Previously Thought #will have to do more thinkings of that down the line .... for now nap time 😴 cause i repeat i am five years old 😴

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bigothteddies · 2 months ago

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thinkin about how important it is for submissives to take control of their own submission and understand their own agency in kink and to communicate for themselves

#sometimes…sometimes the little ‘uwu I can’t talk about what I want ! don’t make me say anything durinh sex i wont be able to! im so shyy!’#really starts to concern me #cause its like…you guys arent using this as a crutch to deny responsibility for your own sexuality and submission right???? right????#like you have to be able to confront the fact that you want sex and are an active participant in a scene #sex isnt something thats supposed to *happen* to you its something you’re supposed to *do*#and im sure its just the internet echo chamber throwing things around at me !#cause i think most people know this but i just see sooooo many fucking posts #‘uwu if you try to talk to me during sex i wont be able to!’ ‘uwu i cant tell anyone what i want in sexxx youll just have to drag it oit of #me im so embarrassed!’#like guys…we’re not damsels in distress here and youre supposed to be an active participant in your own sex life #being a safe participant in kink means bein able to recognize your agency in sex and communicating your desires your comforts your boundari #s and more !#anyways #its genuinely not a big deal i just let myself get wound up by internet posts #which im trying to make happen less because theres no reason for rhat to be happening to me constantly 🫶🏻#unimportant thoughts

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vivitalks · 10 months ago

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more adhd jason grace or die by my sword

#jason grace #heroes of olympus #pjo #riordanverse #is he a strong leader. yes. is he the most forgetful man you ever met. also yes #could he kill you with a lightning strike. yes. does he often get lost in his activity du jour and forget to sleep. ALSO YES #stuff #also side note - more dyslexic jason specifically struggling at chb #where everything is labeled in ancient greek for the greek demigods' ease of comprehension #this is a fic waiting to happen but like #jason being completely lost with every sign around camp because his latin wired brain can't read that shit #he doesnt say anything because he's like 'im the guest here i should just learn ancient greek'#easier said than done his brain Rebels against learning it he tries but none of it seems to stick #until someone notices how jason will just blank-stare the sign posted on the armory door that says 'closed for cleaning'#and it's written in english too but that doesn't help jason he's almost as bad at reading in english as he is in ancient greek #so he DEFINITELY cant read the smaller print that says 'do not enter under threat of being eaten by cleaning harpies'#and our man just walks right in and almost gets eaten lmao #and then nico or someone is like. hmm. has anyone considered that this roman dyslexic demigod just cant fucking read ancient greek lmao #cue a campwide project to add latin to all the signs #these tags are a runaway train i just want more adhd dyslexic jason grace that's all

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greater-than-the-sword · 3 months ago

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I need someone to tell me that im not stuck here and things are going to get better. Also they have to know what they're talking about

#I need to be making more money than this #it always seems to start with that #but I feel like I wouldn't be as depressed if I felt like I was on the way to something else #if i could get out of here in about a year #if I was saving up for some achievable goal in a meaningful way #then the things that I hate about my current living situation would grate a lot less #And I wouldn't mind as much being so helpless to stop people defacing things and making things worse #but as it stands i feel like im being pushed down into a corner #which is exactly what i came here to get away from #its just that im not allowed to improve anything around me #To stay away from this noxious shit i guess im expected to never to outside and always huddle down with my fan on #because im not disabled enough to complain abt it #am I???#beggars cant be choosers #cant live in poverty housing and expect the neighborhood to be polite #ig #but how do i get out of it

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hauntingblue · 27 days ago

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The king and queen are visiting Paiporta and they receive them with mud xd two men have spoken to the king and told him to do something, but we all know that he is going to go to his palace and cross his arms because It's literally the only thing he can do. Is this what had to happen for people to realize that asking the king for help is nonsense? He has no power, he is only there to parade around. They have kicked out volunteers from the site to let the king and his escorts (police and military) pass, which is the first time they have touched that ground and they are going to do NOTHING. The president is doing the same. The president of Valencia is doing the same.

#this is never before seen stuff by the way. the monarchy was restituted in 1975 after the dictatorship and celebrated for it #and the president of valencia is basically the higher power here as the state of alarm he declared makes it so the national government #cant help. he has all the jurisdiction and all the responsibility. and yes he is from a right wing party. a lot of people are blaming the #president of the country (left wing) but legally he can't do anything bc of what i said before. its so frustrating just one man being #stubborn (and cruel) has cost so many lives and inflict so much suffering. not only after and during the incident but BEFORE as he didnt #raise the alarm so people thought they were safe and went outside to get move their cars or similar.#there have been so many people found on cars inside parkings.... and they are not done yet.#they havent updated the dead or missing numbers but the last number of missing people was 2000. all these people could be dead #they could be currently dying as the king and queen parade around the streets blocking people wanting to actually help. shameful #translated the main post on google bc i just could write it in english #i feel like a medieval peasant talking about th king and queen like this. what are we doing. year 2024.#talking tag #valencia

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ganondoodle · 5 months ago

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im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-

and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..

it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now

i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...

#ganondoodles talks #elden ring #zelda #in a way #AND it adds to me just ranting #and complaining #like i wasnt literallly a few days ago beating myself up about that #now i have the next thing #and its almost as bad as it was with totk #with the only difference being that i dont have the energy left to yell that much #and that its the second time now in such a short time span relatively to how long i keep my interests and how long it takes to find one #so in a way it hurts even worse #.... also when the whole thing is kinda bad then at least the whole thing is kinda bad #but here its like specifically my fav #and i dont want to and cant let him just .. go #but at the same time ............. its been so shifted around completely idk what to make of it #idk what the point was to make and present him like he was in the base game and then do such a turn in the DLC #and it feels less like he was someones important favorite nd more like most hated character #bc why would you do that to him like this #you can argue all you want about how it makes sense actually and wahtever but this is what i feel right now ok #what am i even drawing for anyway #what am i even thinking about any stories for anyway #why am i caring about anything anyway #i wish i knew and could stop

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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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this past week its just been a constant cycle of *normal normal normal* OH FUCK THE SITE UPDATE IS NEARLY UPON US *has to sit down and breathe*

#what will we see... what will we learn...#screaming sobbing throwing up #almost literally! im so hyped im a little nauseous! only a Bit!#i need to calm down! im being too abnormal about it!!#i cant even finish my plate of pickles rn because i Remembered #and now i cant do anything but sit here and vibrate from excitement #deep breaths.... deep breaths....#absolutely unprompted #i mean feeling physically sick from excitement is not entirely atypical for me #it always makes me feel a lil unwell! whether that excitement is negative like having to drive a Distance #or positive like looking forward to an event!#im gonna feel a lil like throwing up!#its a good discomfort i swear #that being said.#if we get voice lines i might actually have to go for a walk around the block to cool off lmfao

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phagodyke · 1 month ago

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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

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