#i cant do another year at this job i just cant. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jemwolf · 1 year ago

Text

Once again lamenting about job searching in this area being awful.

I really need to leave my current job for my own sanity, but I'm not gonna do that if every single alternative is worse, y'know??

#doesnt help that i refuse to work food service and really dont wanna go right back into retail #and i WILL NOT do door to door sales. i have some pride. and i just know those companies never pay you what they promise #sighhhhh #i cant do another year at this job i just cant.#jemwolf talks #might delete later #wish i could just do commission work but thats not feasible rn

12 notes · View notes

bitchfitch · 2 months ago

Text

I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.

#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable #like #Theres a flatness #the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs #with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto #Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about #than the fact her favorite color is red #Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children #Reynerd? sure is a guy #got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guy™. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery #he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people #and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed #all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk #Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they #pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked #and olive is here #anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that #idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games #purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Most™ but having #a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete #idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates #before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ™ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh #Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good #but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just #i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually

19 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months ago

Text

...

#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day #is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into #spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill #keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else #and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late #to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a #job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place #but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human #level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker #unrelated

16 notes · View notes

north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave · 3 months ago

Text

another weekend, another job rejection!

#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal #Of Working In A Fucking Library #just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises #anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or #graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal #relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and #be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges #i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is #everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me #2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to #go further into debt #anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s #everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333 #like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails

7 notes · View notes

nerves-nebula · 1 year ago

Note

Anything on Neglected Karai at all? Is she Splinter’s daughter? Personality, skills, relationships, pronouns, or anything at all?

nah she's a 404 imagine not found screenshot and she doesn't exist she has no pronouns skills relationships or personality and she isn't anyone's daughter she came from the void and to the void she will return. amen.

#nnstuff #ask #sorry but like. im in college. i already cant make the art i want to cuz im busy all the time #yea i know a lot of characters outside the main cast are underdeveloped #i know we barely see april #i know the foot clan basically doesnt exist yet #if this were my full time job and i got like. paid to do it or something maybe i could come up with something but as it is !#im sitting at my work desk trying not to imagine killing myself because this next assignment is going to make me miserable for #at least another full month #and i didnt get to choose my partner because everyone else had already paired up because they all just. fucking known each other somehow #even though ive been with them all since freshman year #somehow im just not friends with any of them #and all i really want to do is attempt suicide to get out of it!!#but i CANT because god knows i wouldnt succeed!! and then i'd have to face making everyone i know fucking miserable #SO!!!!#TL:DR IM WORKING ON IT

20 notes · View notes

n7punk · 7 months ago

Text

i am getting. actually kind of close to completing the (reasonable) parts of my collection

#like there are 3 things i expect to take me 5 years. if ever. to get my hands on (unless i somehow get a job that pays x4 my current one)#but aside from that im at like 4-5 things left. just got another thing today! damaged but it kinda works for it. cant wait for it to arrive #and i'm not gonna find a better price then 30% off og retail when it usually sells for 30% More nowadays #btw by collection i mean. everything i am collecting. not just spop. but mostly spop lol #i get Itchy when i go 1-2+ months without finding anything #so whenever something pops up at a good price it feels good to relieve that even when the itch was focusing on a different thing atm #i love deleting a saved search i've had for ages lol #mylife #i told my mom 'i dont want to collect just to collect :(' <- feels guilty about consumerism #and my mom was like. but you are a collector. you like to collect things. a lot of people do lol #and then i was like oh okay. somehow that fixed my guilt

13 notes · View notes

knifefght · 5 days ago

Text

having an anxiety moment about work that ended in me joining the raffwu. still feel like i'm going to scream/cry/throw up about it but at least i'm represented

#okay i type this out from the coles break room #i do nightfill #and theyre going to start timing us #they cant replace us like they did checkout workers with self-checkouts so theyre going to make us work like machines #and when they run us down into nothing theyll just hire new workers and the cycle continues #ive had this job for less than a year and its good its exactly what i want #but for about six weeks i was only getting six hours a week #thats 180 AUD #i got nine hours this week but that was only after i talked to my boss #i dont want to find another job man #i live in a small town #the only other work i could get thats decent is maybe as a receptionist #anyway i gotta clock off

2 notes · View notes

candlebel · 9 months ago

Text

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff

13 notes · View notes

triglycercule · 23 days ago

Text

yada yada happy halloween to these FREAKS (and you guys :3 and myself i gusss :3) doodle from art class that i GUESS could be considered halloween...... idk ok idk ok something was up with me when i drew this

#look killer would like being praised more but to be fair since when has anyone been truly canon with him #to make myself not tweak out i can just pretend this is my fanon #i mean like mtt to me is the epitome of finding slight comfort in suffering when theyre not beating eachother up #dust and horror are affirming killer's terrible thoughts about himself!! how sweet :3 <3 theyre so made for eachother #horror looks like he has a second eye but dont be fooled i just didnt shade that in #i NEED to lock in on that animation. i dont think i have any homework today #i just have a short worksheet and then i'm good to draw i really should really really should im so sorry #disappointed in myself smh more than any of YOU ever will be #originally this was gonna be them in their halloween costumes looking down but then i was like #wait i dont wanna draw killer so ierased him and then just put horror and dust in their normal outfits bc i liked it #and i was like hold up hold up i gotta include killer somehow. SOMEHOW.and then this is the resuly #listen these guys dont freak around but they do various other things that are almost just as freaky as sex #that was more of a side blog thought triglycercule. i know. i will elaborate more there i guess #i ate so much candy today!!! and i didnt even go trick or treating!!!!!#theyre so smitted and enamoured with eachother :333 i love that for them #theyre so cannibalism core. theyre so if i cant have you nobody can core. theyre not soulmates but instead eachothers curse. theyre so UGH #only the murder time trio can match the other 2's freaks i fear nobody else can #its either less crazy or more crazy and these 3 are the perfect amount of balanced to even the other 2 out #i love that one kist animatic that that one really cool twitter kist artist drew #i know theres probably a really good horrordust animatic out there somewhere 2 #WHERES THE HORRORKILLER ANIMATIC HUH!!!! WHERE!!!!!!!#horrorkiller once again left out of the trio duo ships......... this is biased i fear #people just hate to see unhealthy bitched unhealthy smh. they can handle toxic kist but they cant handle toxic hrkl???? BLASPHEMY #triglycercule's rambling again (like a dementia patient) i should get to work #i found my first ever sand au fan out in the wild today. this is a moment in history i fear #i will never find another sans au fan in the world until i pass 30 years of age and im sad but whatever #i cant wait to get a job so i can start ordering stickers of my trio #i cant WAIT to get a pinmaker one day and start my very own mtt ita bag #i want a pinmaker so bad god. just so i can staple their faces all over #tricule rant

5 notes · View notes

unnonexistence · 25 days ago

Text

they should invent an applying for jobs that doesnt make you feel like this

#personal #i am so good at being an employee but nobody will fucking interview me #cmon guys. im good at math and at being a cog in a machine. what do you want #im pissed off because the seasonal position (not even in my field) that i was going to apply for got filled #in between me rewriting my resume for it and submitting my application -_-#i have another application to do tomorrow thats probably not going to go anywhere because i dont have 5 years of experience #this SUCKS man why cant i just like. get apprenticed to someone who knows what theyre doing #im sooooo good at learning on the job. you want to teach me things so bad

5 notes · View notes

nomairuins · 27 days ago

Text

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid #but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil #i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl #spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but #i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to #afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like #vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you #should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done #with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt #but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen #but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the #way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so #tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me #sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and #it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there #nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having #to work for the rest of my life #ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be #Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes #all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does #but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its #back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until #i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep #and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice #days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends #IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so #dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like #its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going

2 notes · View notes

isa-ah · 1 month ago

Text

on the one hand i want to try for a second wind to stay up and get really into something but on the other hand im sleepy and im pretty sure my husband went to bed without me so i honestly might as well