#i cant bring myself to even want to get close to these people bc as cool as i think they are theyre total dicks about things i cant control

[skrunksthatwunk]

eughhh i feel dumb

[yelloworangesoda]

if i played the penis game everyone would act like i was insane for participating. i would say it loud enough for someone to hear me. to win. and then everyone around me would be like "simon omg shut up" like we werent. playing the game where its saying a funny word the loudest to win

[dobbysimp]

since this is tumblr after all, i feel like i should go back to my roots so:

things that have been said to or around me, as incorrect marauders quotes

sirius: what kinda fruit would i be? and dont say faggot

mary: imagine getting to absolutely explode inside someone

*30 seconds of silence of picturing it*

🎶iF i WeRe A bOy 🎶

peter: cereal is non binary

sirius: sure if you wanna make it into gay shit

peter: FRUIT LOOPS ITS IN THE NAME

james: if you were a fruit loop color which one w- LETS TAKE A QUIZZ

barty: i don’t just throw it away, i play catch w my sanity

Remus: *mom lore*

Peter: were you an accident?

Remus: oh yeah

Peter: that checks out

sirius: i love cum

james: 🤨

sirius: dont quote me on that

james: im quoting you

pandora to barty: can you stop talking about sperm so i can do my tarot reading?

remus: this might be rock bottom

peter: the thing about rock bottom is you can only go up

remus: we dont know, i have a shovel

peter deadpanning: have you ever even BEEN on minecraft?

sirius: i cant tell if im having a crisis or i just need to wash my hair

peter: furry

sirius: furry

james: furry

remus, defeated: why is this the joke we all roll with?

evan: i was regulus-ing too close to the sun trying to put my emotions in boxes

james, to sirius: the trauma is bouncing around in your head like the dvd logo and only when it hits a corner do you get a second of peace

sirius: I wish I could date myself I would treat me so well

james: I think you just stumbled upon self love

lily, scrolling on tinder: he’s cute

mary: is he?

lily: *swipes left*

James: I have brain freeze on the outside of my head

Regulus: that’s called being cold

sirius: im getting a lot of… brain things

remus: ideas?

remus: *looking smth up about worms, reading the suggested searches* “can paul atreides control worms?”

sirius: would you love me if i was paul atreides?

remus: no

sirius: would you love paul atreides if he was a worm?

remus: no

sirius: would you love a worm if it was paul atreides?

remus: i would have questions about HOW the worm became paul, but probably not

peter: is it… why was i thinking self harm? no wait… masturbation!

remus: what are you, catholic?

sirius: if i ever jump off a building just know it was bc i genuinely believed i could fly not because i wanted to kms

barty: on my deathbed can yall bring me a cup of gasoline? i wanna try that shit at least once

james: dang nabbit, or whatever the fuck white lame virgins say

regulus: i think you had a stroke out loud

james: that was just me doing math

trans reg complaining while doing hw: im just a girl

evan: nO?

sirius, about Minnie: she’s always three spots ahead in the cha cha line

james: she’s in the cha cha line meanwhile im doing the macarena

(playing battleship)

remus: I cant believe you blew up my ship and your response was “tehee”

peter: Top 10 things Adolf Hitler never said

(30 minutes later)

remus: (is losing at multiple board games) IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF! IM DONE- I AM SO DONE…

peter: Top 10 things Adolf Hitler has said

dorcas: evan is emotionally unstable but mature

regulus: one usually leads to the other

dorcas: nah barty is emotionally unstable AND immature

regulus: i said usually

mary: their lives are gonna go up in flames and im gonna sit there watching and tanning

lily: can you tan from fire?

mary: for sure

marlene: do you think people tanned at the salem witch trials?

peter and sirius: *debating*

remus: what did i just walk in on?

sirius: can animagus fuck?

remus: excuse me?

peter: we think yes

remus:… I think it makes sense

sirius: now here’s the real question, if James and Lily-

remus: no.

james: what if i dated regulus just to watch the world burn

remus: the world wouldn’t burn, you would, and sirius would be holding the lighter

sirius, ranting about remus drama: and then this happened and I have never been more distraught… thats a lie i was abused but still

peter, after making 18 your mum jokes: that’s what your mom said

sirius: stop i can only take so much

peter: she said that too!

pandora: im chilling, i could be a budah

regulus: i don’t think you’re chilling i think you’re disassociating

pandora: im budah

remus, ranting drunk: because my parents- my parents pfft i only have one

dorcas: am i being manipulative?

barty: no, I would be doing the same thing

dorcas: that’s not as comforting as you think it is

regulus: Hey google how to find a man that will edge me for hours, no borax or glue

james: i mean i have adhd i could probably do that

sirius, about reg: he’s not even fun anyway

james: siri… he gets abused

sirius: dont we all

peter: i think the bible is a mass hallucination, kinda like the bee movie

pandora: yk how when you buy things in bulk its cheaper? maybe we can get therapy in bulk for all 5 of us

regulus about sirius after he leaves Grimmauld: Bro acts like a Disney kid who just broke the contract

regulus: so, cannibalism as a metaphor, right—

remus: go to bed

sirius: to speak or to die? speak duh, im probably gonna die bc of what I said anyway

regulus: i had a great childhood…

sirius: *side eye*

regulus: you guys are making me age so fast

barty: we are helping you mature!

regulus: barty i get abused, i’ve been mature since i was 10

pandora: *after 10 seconds of silence* beAutiful

regulus: YOU CANNOT SAY BEAUTIFUL TO ME BEING ABUSED

pandora: im gonna be honest i zoned out

marlene: *calls*

lily: *picks up*

marlene: im gonna destroy my hair i thought you’d want front row seats

mary: a mosquito could bite my clit and i would let it

lily: mary what the fuck

alice laughing maniacally: lets actually think of the logistics here

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i asked my mom to eat slower?

(Discussion of food and eating disorders)

I (19 NB) have ADHD and sensory issues, especially with noises of people eating. I get really bitchy when this happens and have snapped at people a few times because of this. These sensory issues have gotten worse in the past month since I started medication, so im overstimulated more often and those sources of stimulation are harder to ignore

My mom has a habit of doing this thing with snack foods like chips and popcorn (both of which are Crunchy and Loud. Very irritating to hear) where she’ll eat them by the handful, which means I hear it crunching when she puts them in their mouth so that itll fit. I can bear when people chew with their mouths closed, since its not their fault the food is loud, and i can normally drown it out or distract myself with other noises, but i cant do that with the initial crunch before she can close her mouth.

Now, I made a vague comment abt this habit of hers when I was younger, and she strongly implied that it started bc she used to be food insecure, since she grew up poor and we were poor when I was little. I havent said anything about it since, as I know she has a Pretty bad relationship with food and her weight. I had an eating disorder in high school, and just grew up fat, so I know how Horrible it can feel when people make negative comments about how you eat, and I don’t want to do that to her, but its just. Such an agonizing sensory experience and i cant avoid it without heavily implying that its shameful for her to eat snacks.

Like its not Actively Harming me, but it does feel terrible to hear, as in it Physically Effects me. And, since its a habit, it could be something she could break?

I’m not sure if I should bring it up or just suffer in silence like I have been, even if its gotten more difficult

So WIBTA?

[roseworth]

do you have any reading recs for specifically Rose and Joey's relationship? im a real #jerichowarrior but havent read much rose but want to see them

yes!!! fair warning though since all of their interactions are after 2003 most of them are pretty out of character for joey. so unfortunately you have to close your eyes and pretend a little bit </3

anyways this is pretty much all their extensive/meaningful interactions, my favs are italicized !

pre-flashpoint

Teen Titans (2003) #12

Teen Titans #40-41

Teen Titans #43-46

Titans (2008) #13, Teen Titans (2003) #70, Vigilante (2009) #6 (Deathtrap crossover)

Teen Titans #77-78

post-flashpoint

Deathstroke (2011) #19-20

Deathstroke (2014) #4-6

Deathstroke #18-20

Deathstroke (2016) #6-7

Deathstroke #15

Deathstroke #18

Deathstroke #21-22

Deathstroke #29

Deathstroke #37

Deathstroke #45-46

Deathstroke #49-50

and! i cant help myself so i have notes on every issue below the cut

tt03 #12: this is technically their first interaction... rose is super drugged and joey is dead and his soul is attacking people so its hard to really consider it to be either of them. but they Do interact here and it is their first time talking to each other. and it later leads to rose cutting her eye out #slay

#40-41: this is Actually their first interaction!!!! and its the most in-character joey gets on this list 🤭 this is so so important to me because it is the first time they interact and they've both been searching for a family for long and they finally find each other and ouuhghghuhhggh.... and they have such a good convo at the end of 41 and. i just love them so much.

#43-46: so this one actually isnt marked as a fav on my rose list but i Am marking it as a fav on this list. im a complicated man. in terms of rose & joey this is once again one of their only in character interactions. it just means so much to me because its more of them being a family and hanign out and ough... and just caring for each other and looking out while slade is fighting them AND accepting the titans as a family <3 <3 <3 <3 life is so beautiful i love this arc so much. honestly just thinking about this arc i might go back and retroactively mark it as a fav on my rose list its just so good for them

deathtrap arc: so this is an interesting one bc i could not care less about the actual story and joey is not in character at all. BUT ☝️ theyre so siblings. it's about rose risking everything to prove joey's not a villain, then once she realizes that he is in fact a villain she tries to bring him back and convince him to yk. stop killing people. and joey dropping everything for rose and trying to protect her even when hes killing people. this arc circles around in my brain constantly because ougughuhhgg... its them. theyre still caring about each other and looking out for each other despite everything. ough

tt03 #77-78: BITING SCRATCHING YELLING SCREAMING CRYING!!! I LOVE THIS STORY. i cant even put it into words i just love this story so much. its such a perfect representation of how rose feels about her family and her relationship with slade and with joey and. oh my god. i cannot recommend this one enough fr

unfortunately. now we move on to the new 52

ds11 #19-20: ok so i included this one just to be thorough but. this sucks so bad. evil joey and whitewashed rose and hero slade. trash comic and the half the family dies at the end then they move on immediately

ds14 #4-6, 18-20: once again i only included these to be thorough. this is marginally better than the last one because they at least get a lot of time hanging out as siblings!!! (for some reason rose is the older sister though. idk where that one came from) honestly ds14 is just a bad comic in general. the plots are confusing and boring and the slade characterization is so fucking boring because they try to make him like. a misunderstood good guy again. BORING. sucks. but remember- it as to be so over (deathstroke 2014) so that we can later be so back (deathstroke 2016)

ds16 #6-7, #15: this is really just nice lil sibling moments again !! reestablishing what the new52 fucked up and theyre so sweet here <3 6 & 7 are fun just for rose coming to joey whenever shes upset then trying to protect him when shes worried, and i like 15 because she is once again worried about him and immediately wants to talk to him. theyre family :]

#18: LISTEN. this is one of my favorite comic issues of all time because all the soap opera drama comes to a head right at this point and everything goes to shit and it's hilarious to me. BUT. you can only read this if you read it in the context of the other 18 issues of the run. the entire family beefing and falling apart all at once is just so perfect to me i love wilson family drama

#21-22: this is one of the only times theyre really like. on a Team together. they've fought on the same side plenty of times but this is them on a hero team!! together!!!!!! the defiance arc is very funny to me and rose & joey have some time to hang out in these issues <3

#29: in terms of rose & joey this one isnt super substantial except for the fact that (spoilers) rose confesses to killing his fiancé. but then they get distracted 10 seconds later so its not even really followed up on. but once again i am being thorough

#37: i like this one just because i love that joey saw rose in distress over being willow and slade being in jail and he tries so hard to help her even though it immediately goes badly. but hes still trying to be there for her :')

#45-46: i fucking love rose as deathstroke. and i love joey dropping everything when he finds out rose is in trouble because!!! thats his sister!!!! ("something's come up... it's rose." "it's always rose" lives in my head forever i love it so much) and then the end of 46 being their mind meld and seeing each other before they knew each other fuckkkkk i just love the whole deathstroke rip arc

#49-50: siblings!!!!! they just have little moments in these issues but god. those little moments fuck so hard. just. little moments of them looking out for each other and comforting each other through everything. AND i think about them just bickering and playing video games at the end of the last issue all the time. deathstroke 2016 you will always be famous to me.

and then they havent interacted since then and that haunts me

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

Anons/asks and dms very welcome! i love talking and meeting new people!

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 2 (long distance) relationships and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. and other people have told me im femme so 🤷‍♀️. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont think i have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for/is not one of my kinks i dont mind doing if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

LIMITS

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry. light teasing is okay as long as im comfy with u and its done in a fond way, not a hateful way iykwim

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

anal/butt stuff

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[fizzywashere87]

Pros and Cons of Dating Fizzy

notes: i decided to make a compare and contrast post for me?? why the fuck not cuzzos. this is some form of self advertisement and im not above it. (im off limits and a minor)

M. List

Pros:

i will be very loyal towards you

if i like you a lot, i won't get an ick -unless it's something SUPER bad but even then i tend to let red flags pass over me.

i'm a good listener when i want to be -if i rlly like you again, i would always want to be

i'd do literally anything and everything for you

id buy you gifts and pretend not to care if you didn't like it

i don't keep secrets of mine from you -unless i CANT say anything, then, sorry

you don't have to do much to gain my trust if i like you a lot -that doesn't stop intrusive thoughts.

i'll adjust to your needs after studying your behavior

i have a good memory so i'll remember certain topics you bring up -likes, dislikes, facts you share, a story you tell me about.

i'll defend you should anyone try to do or say anything bad about you -i'll throw hands for you

i am not a dry texter most of the time so you'll have an interesting convo for the most part

it doesn't take much for forgiveness if i'm rlly down bad -i don't forget tho

you get goodmorning/night texts

giving you my hairtie/bracelets and spraying perfume on it -i'll pretend not to notice if you don't wear them

A Double-Edged Sword:

i'm blunt - i could be overly blunt but at least i'll be deadass with u

ill drop my needs for yours -if you rlly care then you'd be sad abt this i think

i struggle to pick up certain implications -you can probably use that to your advantage

i've learnt to mask really well to adaptto your personality - you wont rlly know how i'm feeling unless i choose to let you know

i'm attached to you -maybe too clingy? if you tell me to fuck off i will tho

i'll take what you say literally most of the time

i'll brag to my friends about you -i might also complain if you make me sad

i put my family before you

i have a hard time saying no a lot of the times

i hold onto promises -i keep mine tho

i'm kinda stubborn

i do dangerous shit -it has the potential for entertainment but if u rlly care then the downside is that i might get hurt over a simple dare

'are you sure?' x100

i laugh at everything -you could end up thinking ur funny bc i laughed so you go retell that joke to ANYONE else and realize my humor is shit and you are not funny :|

i send you memes/videos and go 'us' -it could get annoying

i'll pester you to take care of yourself -it could get annoying. also i do not take my own advice

i can be rlly protective but not like super alpha sigma dw

i'll want to wear your hoodies/shirts

my standards are dangerously low -you don't have to do much

i put myself down a lot -this could end up funny

Cons:

at least once a week i'll ask you if you're gonna leave me

i have underlying health complications that show up at the worst times ever

i am not funny -and it's worse cuz i'll actively be trying

i'm very specific about A LOT and i'll lose my shit if my shit isn't together -yes this has potential to become your problem

i will not tell you what i need from you -i just won't. unless you pester me for way too long

i'll assume you'll leave me at some point -this is regardless to your answer to the first bullet point

i WILL complain about my day and you WILL have to listen to it -it's full of complaints and i'll only stfu if u tell me to

i'll cry over the dumbest shit -whether it's front of you depends on how close. usually early on and you'll be the cause 8/10 times

if i'm overstimulated it might be your problem

i'll get mad at you from the cause of my overthinking

i'll secretly not trust you -not for like other people i mean reassurance wise

i need constant reassurance and it might be brought up indirectly but snarkily -i'll never tell you outright

i suck at flirting and i'll run away from you

i might zone out on you during face to face convos -probably from calculating correct eye contact durations or just thinking bout you- but while you're talking so its not good

i'm kinda loud and it's worse when i'm excited -i'm quiet in the mornings tho :3

i'm a lil aggressive

i'm kinda shit at comfort and my advice may not be good advice

if i see a point/indication and i don't like it i'll ignore it because i don't want to deal with it

i want your praise/validation

i get pissed easy

i take nothing seriously

'oops'

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.

[noellashes]

hiiiiiiii! feel free to ignore this ask but what do you like about noelashe? :0 I really like them too but I don't exactly know why myself... the parallels perhaps? the care? the potential? either way, I'm asking you how you feel about them! And I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

so so sorry for the late response but

anon you don't understand how long ive been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question

this may be extremely long depending on how much i feel like talking about so i apologize

spoilers inbound after this point!!

there are many, many reasons ive fallen in love with them and their dynamic, but ill try to condense them into a more readable format

the sections will be as follows:

 their parallels and how they compliment each other

their kindness and affection towards each other

how they treat the other differently to the others in the mansion

more surface level dynamic things i like

the things that got me attached to them in the first place

parallels!

i feel like every noelashe fan understands their parallels somewhat but im insane so im gonna go in depth

they match and contrast each other in so so many different ways, down to even design (i actually made a post about that before it shouldnt be too hard to find)

their personalities are one thing, energetic and tired, extroverted and introverted, loud and shy, cruel and kind, fake and genuine, manipulative and naïve, i could go on but thatd be WAY too long so i'll just mention these

but thats just on the surface, they actually match each other a LOT more than you think

how ashe is more introverted than what meets the eye, not liking people out of distrust, and noel being tons more talkative and social, adoring people and barely being able to hate anyone

noel being smarter than he appears, willing to lie and manipulate for what he wants, and ashe being really easy to fool sometimes, immediately believing anything he thinks can bring back his family

and of course the obvious, their wishes

the same wish, the same pain, they go through such similar trauma with different ways of dealing with it

or so you think, their coping is very similar and this is acknowledged in sirius's conclusion, the only real difference being if theyre violent or not. noel, has sworn off harming people but he's still not above using backhanded methods for his goals. ashe, despite doing awful things for his wants, still has noble(ish) reasons for why he does these things

neither are entirely innocent, but neither are completely guilty

they both just want the people they care for to live peacefully, alive

but both do some pretty fucked up things for this wish, noel lies to sirius and uses dorothy as a ploy, ashe well- i think we all know. ashe commits multiple varied crimes that range from theft to murder and noel's own negligence can be considered a crime in some cases.

they have an understanding no one else does and it creates a lot of interest towards them and develops them as individuals too

kindness

they care so much for each other its insane

noel has trouble seeing ashe as anything but kind and ashe cant help but feel attached to noel even if he doesnt want to, which makes them get close each time and it makes them feel for each other a LOT more than they need to

the times where noel is sick and ashe takes care of him, ashe saying he lied so noel wont feel bad, noel letting ashe confide in him and ashe even trusting him enough to say his worries in the first place, the list goes on

they just have an instant bond bc they want someone to care and help them (even if both have trouble admitting it) and they want to help each other, which just makes them care more

it always ends in kindness between the two and it's one of the ways we get a happy ending

special treatment

i could put this in the kindness section but i think it deserves its own section bc its so damn cute

it does have a little less to go over tho as it doesn't happen much

im also gonna start adding screenshots and such

noel seems to really admire ashe and his abilities so much more than anyone else its adorable

hes so amazed by him literally just cooking and he doesnt comment on anything to do with precise stuff that isnt smth ashe does, i may be wrong but i dont think ive ever seen him comment on smth like sirius drawing talismans which is highly specific but will ALWAYS think about how impressed he is with ashe

he also just

treats ashe in a similar way to claire, like he just casually says ashe saved him which is such a strong word to him with no thought and he LITERALLY SAYS HE TRUSTS HIM UNCONSCIOUSLY BC HE REMINDS HIM OF CLAIRE if that doesnt say smth i dont know what does

and ashe always opens up to noel so much more than anyone else like noel has gotten ashe to talk about himself unlike anyone else, the only other character he talked to about things was claire (technically sirius too but he was drunk off his ass so im not counting it) and that was like once he doesnt even say anything that isnt surface level

ashe also just refuses to harm noel and i dont think anyone has noticed this before

it makes sense if his killings are during the day bc noel literally just isnt there but some other times he has no excuse

HE MOVES TO THE SIDE HERE EVEN IF WHERE HE WAS STANDING GAVE HIM A CLEARER SHOT TO CLAIRE YOU CANT TELL ME IT WASNT SO HE DELIBERATELY MISSES NOEL

ALSO HE COULDVE TRIED AGAIN OR GONE AFTER HIM BUT NO HE JUST GOES "missed one!" AND CALLS IT A DAY IF THATS NOT PROOF HE DOESNT WANNA HURT NOEL I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

surface level things

as much as i love the incredible lengths of their relationship, i also like more simple things that im just gonna put into a little list

theyre so sun and moon guys

BLACK CAT AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER BFS

their color palettes look nice together

babygirl and wet cat

loves to cook and fucking awful at cooking

smartass x dumbass

mutual healing

their symbols being hearts and stars those look so cute together

"i care about you!!" "why??", mutually

little bitch and sweetheart

both are affectionate but neither can handle it

emotionally repressed x the one who wants them to grow again

bfs who rant about their interests

same trauma

very strange guy x doesnt care

"im a disgusting monster" "HOW?"

the black and white good evil thing is very aesthetically pleasing for them

angel and devil (kinda)

why i fell in love with them

theres a lot of reasons why i love them but theres a few very specific things that got me attached

most obvious is that theyre both my favorites, im extremely attached to ashe and i loved him from the start, i didnt start liking noel until a tiny bit later but he very quickly gained my love

i also relate to them both heavily so seeing them care so much for each other gave me comfort

its a huge pattern that most of my ships are of the character i got immediately attached to and relate to and other character i relate to who cares about the first character

the fate line. its just so gay i was like "thats kinda gay" and while i didnt always think of it like it was super important it always stuck in my head like "yeah i could ship them"

but the real thing that started this all was the wine scene

its when i realized how much they cared for each other and then the floodgates opened, and here we are now!!

its still by far my favorite scene of the two it just makes me so happy its so adorable

conclusion

i have an extreme love for noelashe and just seeing them can make my entire mood better

i dont think many people have analyzed them as much as me so its sad to see how much stuff with them goes unnoticed

theyre genuinely so great for each other, platonic, romantic or anything in between, they deserve to be happy with each other

im so sorry for this being so long and maybe really hard to understand but i adore them so much

if you read this all thank you so much!! have a great day

[idealspawn]

ive been away from tumblr for such a long time, afraid it would trigger me. ive been doing so well:) i moved to another city. back to where i lived for a year, a year prior to this one. i was able to join a programme that enables me to study in this university again for a year as like an exchange student(?)-ish thing. it feels amazing. ive reconnected with two(three-ish?) extremely dear people to me and ive found my love for knowledge again. my apartment is so nice too. i live near a train station but i can barely hear anything, and if i do, the sounds are actually comforting. i used to dislike trains, they made me anxious but starting this summer i grew to love them and now i regularly even prefer them. i live on the top floor so my ceiling and walls are slanted but it brings me such comfort, my room in my parents' house also has it like that. i have a second floor, well half of it. there is a built-in ladder staircase. it feels extremely comforting. ive had to fix, and still have to fix, many things here bc its a relatively cheap apartment but im fine with that. it actually makes me feel more at home when i can work on the apartment and make it my own. it feels more like home when everything isnt perfect either. the washing machine was disgustingly dirty and the air ventilation thing above the stove is also so fucking nasty but ill deal w it.. not my first time renting an apartment...... .. .. . the emotional aspects of this place are way more important. ive adopted plants too this time around. and a lot more intentionally, ive made in-depth sheets on how to properly care for them. i speak to them and kiss them every day. i know i will buy at leasr one more plant. so far i have an aloe vera plant, alocasia zebrina(MY DEAREST but also the most needy), a chinese money plant and an ivy. i want another ivy but a diff one. right now i have the one called wonder, it looks very friendly, very round. i didnt intend to get this one but they got my order wrong but i didnt have the heart to exchange it so i will just keep it and buy the other ivy as a friend to it. i am so fond of the one that has, i cant seem to find its proper name, but the one that has extremely slim and elongated and really sharp star-like leaves. i figured maybe the two contrasting ivy plants would even look better together than just one. so maybe the wrong order was a blessing in disguise. im using plants to learn unconditional love and acceptance because my family definitely didnt provide me with that skill.. :d.. did the same with my childhood cat, thats why she was so extremely dear to me. when noone else in my family loved me unconditionally, she did:). ive been really motivated to study and read a lot of my own extracurricular stuff too. ive gone to really interesting tours and public programmes about nature and culture and society. ive actually enjoyed being on my own and had the balls to show up to places alone, i used to never be able to do that. i always had to have someone with me but its really limiting as many people around me right now have colliding interests. im also so insanely proud of myself for speaking up in a seminar!!!!!! u have no idea. NO IDEA how hard that has been for me. to realize my insight has value and should take up time and space in a seminar. ive always come so close to speaking but then my heart has raced out of my chest and then the moment passed. but this time i actually spoke up, i took the initiative and i didnt only speak abt the strict topic that our seminar text provided for that time but i brought up my individual reading!! and a girl in the seminar told me i spoke well!!(i didnt, god i was so nervous i stumbled upon my words so much and avoided all eye contact) AND ALSO the professor leading the seminar told me my answer was good too :) im so happy. im growing so much.

[daughterofsarenrae]

I can’t bring myself to do any deep dives into political podcasts or discussions, would you summarize the latest? What are the reactions post debate? Most of my coworkers are going to vote trump but they treat me (an obviously queer person) so kindly. It’s dispiriting.

hiya! preferencing everything i say here with a "this is an extremely close race and will be until the very end" disclaimer but! we are not in doom and gloom mode we are in determined hope mode imo

post debate: fox news anchors were saying on air immediately after the debate that trump lost. like straight up they COULD not spin it in a way that he won. harris challenged him to another debate like hours after and i think it was today where he was like "no i totally won 100% so im not doing another" which. makes him look like a coward running away from facing her again bc he and everyone else knows he lost. so that's fun! of course he could go back on that bc he switched between he would/wouldnt do this debate like 8 times leading up to it. u cant trust anything out of his mouth! who knew?

ANYWAYS so that post i rb'd earlier was true: about 1/4 trump voters said the debate made them reconsider their vote, and i thiiiink wapo cited 6% of trump voters DID change their vote post debate. debates dont traditionally have anything to do with election results but it might be a good indicator in this one. most undecided voters' stance is "we dont know enough about harris's positions/policies" bc her campaign is like. 1.5? 2? (i forget) months old. the debate was her chance to lay her policy out for a HUGE audience- i think it was 67 million people watching? whereas trump: everyone knows who he is and what his views are. he is a known figure and people have made decisions. she is not known. and her core message that debate was "i am not trump or biden, i'm a new way forward" which for all of the people who were not wanting to vote for either trump/biden (bc of policies or age or WHATEVER) is important. national polls are close with harris trending up basically since her campaign started, but the important polls are the swing state ones, which typically are either tied or harris up by a tinyyyy bit.

the important thing here is: trump has his base. they will vote for him no matter what. generally he's kind of capped off how many voters he can get. people who are undecided/abstaining wouldve committed to him by now. harris is the unknown here, which means she has the greatest potential for growth, esp among undecideds and abstaining voters. the general view is they want to know more and are open to learning more. she's only done the one big mainstream news media interview so far bc she's been uh. a little busy! between constant rallies and the dnc and debate prep and such, but she's also been doing (almost?) daily local radio interviews. extremely grassroots campaign stuff. but also she's gotten fuckin. liz and dick cheney's endorsements. and a lot of other republicans. AND ALSO one piece of extremely good post debate news: taylor swift's endorsement. i think i saw a number today where in the 24 hours since her post, over 400,000 people clicked the link to the voter registration website so. extremely encouraging

the maga push to make harris/walz seem super extremist is very funny and also not sticking at all bc walz is literally the most normal guy ever. and every time jd vance shows his face he says something even more self-incriminating. trump distances himself SO much from vance it's so funny. clown show party over there. trump keeps flip-flopping on signing an abortion ban bc the evangelicals will hate him if he doesnt but it's also an extremely extremely unpopular position so he can't really say anything about it without alienating part of his voters

ANYWAYS this is. i guess kind of a summary? i didn't link sources bc im lazy and just got back from work but i will find them if u want me to. and also if u have any other things u wanna know this was extremely general

keep donating keep talking to people keep volunteering! the more voters we get out the better chance we have. esp if you're in the south check your voter registrations. block anyone who encourages you not to vote. most importantly dont give in to the fear. it's ok and normal to be anxious and afraid of this election, but don't let it shut you down. seek news that doesn't just talk about trump, elevate news that talks about harris. remember- people know enough about him that they're committed to him already. letting people know about harris' policies is going to do much more for bringing undecideds into the fold than talking about whatever insane shit trump is on about on any given day. AND ALSO campaign and donate for every other democrat on the ballot. vote blue up and down. let's set harris up for success with a congress that'll actually let her do shit

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

2024 was really a time of trial and error for me. i can say i hated the year but those were the errors from the trials, and most of them were my choices anyway. but of course, had i known the outcome was brutal, i would have reconsidered these choices.

2024 was very painful, but i did do things i never would have imagined me doing.

like going on a dating app. huhhh?? who is she???? who was she. me, the introvert and homebody, actually went out and met people?? strangers from the net no less? when i hate being perceived? and when i get anxiety by socialising?? thats crazyyyyy. but i did it. not there anymore. and will never be. the last guy propelled me to get of the app for good lol. im now more confident of how i look too from that, bc guys who are goodlooking swiped me right. that was a major ego boost but again, male validation is gross and they might be just objectifying. but i guess partly bc of that, i know i am not ugly.

which brings me to my next one, finding someone i loved dearly and who "i guess" i felt gave me love... to an extent. i went on 3-4 diff. dates with diff dudes, an excrutiating amount of talking stages and i finally thought i met the one. mmmm this one felt like felt. it felt like we were meant to be. typical story of how are moms were childhood friends and were close in highschool. his mom has my bday. they live in the village where my grandpa lived before. our sun & moon signs are opposite of eachother. the moon on our bdays was the new moon and reflected facing eachother. like a mirror. i felt like he was an extention of myself. his pain i felt. what i am, i saw in him. also we both have the strangest names. huwaina. k/hairurr/abiee. thats so funny and unique and special to me. no one we know has our name. it was always fun with him. i felt safe earlier on. we always have something to say. with him, i felt oddly peaceful. but again, he also brought chaos in my life. and i was also used as a result! so theres a war in my head thats constantly tugging my brain at the seams. did i mean anything to him and how true was his feelings for me if he was trying to get over someone else in the mix? but anyway i will never know. and even if i asked him, would he tell me the truth? and if the truth is my biggest fear, then do i truly want to know? or should i just pretend that he loves me in this space where he cant reach me and hurt me?

its been 5ish months, almost 6??? i cant say ive fully moved on. had i known he was not written to be mine, i would have turned back time and wish we never met. but it is through him i finally was able to be vulnerable and open and experience what its like to be in love and have someone love me back. and that the love i thought i couldnt attain, i so could. so i know i can find love and i am loveable. i dont have to work so hard for it. so im gonna take this with me and i hope i do right with my next (hopefully eternal) lover. 6 months in, i finally realised and have accpeted he was just a lesson. eventhough i really wish he wasnt. hes engraved in my heart.

hmm what else. oh job. i quit my teaching job that was hell. but little did i know job searching for 5 months was a different kind of hell. i think this year alone, i want to like 15 interviews, and only managed to get into 2 and even then it was something i applied towards the end of the year. applied for scholarships too but didnt get through. a mess and was so emotionally taxing bc i wasnt financially stable, and was mending a broken heart lmaoooo. that was the worst.

lost alot along the way. him, my grandma, my cats. its been a disaster of a year. should it have happened? probably not. i dont think all of this was even warranted in the name of "growth". i feel like i would have grown either way, and there must be better routes to learn and grow that didnt require me getting trauma along the way.

but through all this, i found God and seek refuge to Him and Him alone. i feel like my relationship got closer. and I dont hate Him and blame him any more for my own wrong doings. and i also am more patient amd graceful with myself. i dont really treat myself cruelly.

but i hope this years different. i dont want to try so hard, and not see anything good come out of it. and i wont be repeating mistakes. i hope this year will be kinder to me. please please please.

[dancedance-resolution]

🦠.

TW ///

I AM SAFE NO NEED TO WORRY I JUST NEED TO GET THESE THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND GIVE THEM TO SOMETHING OTHER THAN MY NOTES APP

the other member of my household has a cold now and i’m so fucking angry lol. moralizing health status is fascist shit and I Will Not Do That but i have to keep reminding myself that because really i feel like punching him in the face and moving to alaska. i am so tired of masking religiously and washing my hands constantly and avoiding communal surfaces and putting in so much fucking effort to avoid illness and these people are unwilling to do something as simple as mask. how selfish are you that there is a member of your household who is immunocompromised who you say you love and who is begging you to take basic fucking precautions and you cannot find it in yourself to give a singular fuck. i have been sick for two weeks i missed thanksgiving with my grandfather for the first time in my entire life and i am acutely aware i don’t have many more left with him. i have missed work and school and time with my loved ones and i am so angry about it, i am SO ANGRY ABOUT IT, and the thing is he wasn’t even going to tell me he felt sick bc he “didn’t want to freak me out.” I AM SO ANGRY. i can’t continue to live like this being constantly vigilant only to come home and be exposed to everything i work so hard to protect myself from. I CANT KEEP DOING THIS. SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE. I REFUSE TO LET THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME and yet i have no options what the fuck am i supposed to do i already mask in my own house half the time am i supposed to never touch anything. never leave my room for food from the kitchen. never interact with anyone besides my gf who takes communicable disease equally as seriously. financially i am tethered to these germ sacks. i do not have any choice but to keep going and i know i need to keep perspective things could be so much fucking worse i have it so fucking lucky i am so privileged and blessed and also im fucking angry. i don’t have a solution. i don’t know what else to do. AND IM TIRED OF HIM TREATING ME LIKE SOME LITTLE BITCH FOR TAKING MY HEALTH AND MY FAMILYS HEALTH SERIOUSLY. he is trying his best and i am just hungry and anxiety makes your body worse at fighting germs so i need to calm the fuck down and eat something except oh right the kitchen is covered in his germs. I AM SO UPSET. AND I FEEL LIKE WHAT IS THERE LEFT TO DO EXCEPT SIT HERE AND CRY AND BE MAD AND REPEAT THIS PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN WITH THE NEXT ILLNESS THEY BRING HOME. this is also why i dont think i should have kids i dont know if i want kids but kids get sick so often and i am a dick when ppl around me are sick im mean i’m objectively a bad family member when you are sick and i don’t want a child growing up thinking that it is shameful or a moral failing when they are sick and that they only deserve love and respect if they are healthy I WILL NOT LET MYSELF BE A FASCIST FREAK ABOUT HEALTH i will not betray everything i believe about SYSTEMIC PROBLEMS and the importance of addressing PUBLIC PROBLEMS like PUBLIC HEALTH at the INSTITUTIONAL LEVEL rather than personal blame and also. and also. TW HERE STOP READING. i can know that and believe that and carve it into my fucking skin and still feel like this you know actually maybe i need to try therapy again bc it is not healthy for me to feel like harming myself bc my step dad has a minor cold. the more i type out the more i realize that this is increasingly looking like a me problem. SIGH also i need to eat what the fuck do you eat when you can’t go to the kitchen except i can go to the kitchen i can wear my mask and wash my hands and wipe down whatever food i grab it is a mental thing rn but yeah i feel like i can’t get any food and also i feel like i can’t stay here tonight. i am in a separate room with the door closed i am safe i am okay and also i feel like i need to go sleep in the car and be freezing all night even though sleeping in the car when it’s 20f out is objectively way more dangerous for my health than staying in my safe room and i guess thats the whole self harm thing. not going and grabbing a pbj from the freezer rn is that whole self harm thing and just because a m

OMG HIT CHARACTER LIMIT FOR ONE PARAGRAPH LOL I NEED TO STOP DWELLING ON MY ANXIETY LOLOLOL

[normalestgirlblog]

issue

I am running into a bit of an issue

as those who read my blog which is few know i have embarked upon a long distance situationship with a boy who i have had a thing for for quite some time. i am really happy, and he is really sweet, and i think that when we are no longer long distance it could be something good.

however

i am running into a bit of an issue regarding his past dalliances. he had an alcohol fueled one night stand with one of my best friends in the entire world. and this is no ordinary best friend. she is perhaps one of the most beautiful creatures to ever walk upon the earth and grace its presence. the first time i saw her, i was so taken by her beauty and smile and spirit i stg i fell in love at first sight and knew i had to make her mine in whatever capacity she allowed. we became instantaneous friends freshman year and have been by eachothers side ever since. i was by her side the night we both met him and she went home with him. i was also taken by him as was she, but i could see that they were the ones fucking that night. plus i was fucking wasteddddd as was she, and him. and honestly when im wasted fucking is the last thing on my mind so even if she werent there idk if i would have successfully put on the moves.

anyways

as he and i are beginning to know eachother better, i find myself at odds with my brain. we have already dicussed him and elizabeth, and i asked her well before i began talking to him if she cared or minded that i wanted to pursue something with him, to which she said she didnt. he also didnt have any qualms about it other than feeling bad that it was a one night stand and he didnt pursue her following.

i think it may also be worth it to mention that i have been in this situation before. my former situationship had sex with my cousin, which was ultimately the reason why we had sex, and my cousin is also one of the most beautiful people to walk this earth. i tried not to let it bother me when he and i began getting more serious, but i could not get out of my mind that he had sex with someone i both love and someone so incredibly breathtaking its annoying. i didnt like that he followed them, i didnt like that they mentioned how they hooked up. but i didnt let it affect me to the point that i broke up with him or stopped talking to them or anything bad. i just kinda suppressed it

i am surrounded by beauty and it is so amazing and yet fueling my deepest insecurities. i am no stranger to this, i have known all my life that my friends were more desirable than i. its not a bad thing, i think all my friends are beautiful and deserve all the appreciation in the world. at times though, i have found it can make me insecure.

anyways back to the boy. i have wanted to send him pictures where i look good, or just memories, but she is in them. and she is so stunning its nauseating. i cant bring myself to send them. what if he saw it, realized how beautiful she was, and used me to get back to her. or just ended it with me outright bc he couldnt be with me while im so close to her. idk why my mind goes to these places. i cant help it. its also 5 am and i havent been able to sleep.

also i feel weird talking to her abt it, but i love talking to her about boys. its one of my favorite hobbies. and yet i feel awkward esp rn considering out of the two of us currently she is the only one to have seen his penis.

maybe this is also because he met us both and had sex with her and doesnt even remember meeting me. maybe she is prettier than i am. i wouldnt doubt for a second she is more memorable than i am. i thought abt her for a whole week after we barely met. and now i dont even want to talk to either of them.

idk why i keep doing this to myself and hooking up with people that have hooked up with my friends. i try so hard to be secure and confident and i dont know if i can make it past this one. i am really scared but atp i def have feelings for him. im just gonna ball it out and hope for the best and repress these feelings until i am alone and can express them on here.

[sehunniepotwrites]

HAAAAAAAI i'm so glad i could bring a smile to your face in your day through my messages heheheheh ☺️ how was your day today!!!

omg is this telepathy or what! i was just considering and thinking of whether i wanted to pursue a masters after finishing up my undergrad degree studies!! hehe what's your masters in if it's not too private to ask 🫢 i was just thinking of doing masters because of my current timeline!! it's rly rly tuff to find a job here after graduating because the mkt is currently just kinda meh :/ so i was just wondering if perhaps going for masters would put me in a better spot!! but then again masters is something i can decide at a later time so rn im just gathering opinions from ppl who have taken it! wbu!! do u have any thoughts or opinions? :")

OMGGGGGG have i mentioned im a SUCKER for childhood besties concepts cuz that's just so so so cute 🥹🥹 I LOVE IT I CANT WAIT!!!! 😍 and my goodness how r u alw so creative w your ideas??? iM so unimaginative that like stories alw amaze me 🫢 hehehehe and HELLO wdym u have a life like a fic odnfoenfoke THATS SO COOL AND SWEET N LOVELY gosh i'd WISH i had like one thing from a fic ever happen to me 🥰🥰🥰🥰

AHHHH im so glad u could meet your friends and hang out together!! wish u had as much fun as u possibly could!! hehehehe how nice would it be if we could always be hanging out w our besties and just spending time together 🥺 hope you guys r meeting again soon!!! sounds rly rly fun to karaoke together it's been so so long for me to both karaoke and meet my friends cuz literally everyone im close to or care about is on exchange this semester :/

which brings me to my never ending rant of how despresso espresso i am this semester >< it's a rly tuff time in my life rn cuz im trying to navigate and find an internship that matches both my interest and my degree cuz it is a graduation requirement for me 🤡 i guess im at least getting somewhere w the search cuz i did have a pretti good offer lately! and im currently just pending the outcome of another role i interviewed for under the same company before making a decision (if i do get offered by the other role too heh) 😊 but then im just rly rly LONELY this semester and im just sad cuz im attending classes and doing everything by myself :/ and i dont have friends arnd locally rn that i could meet and just unwind after a period of stress so its rly draining me a lot on top of my never ending assignments projects and exams 🥲🥲 and yea ldr is so so tough and its so hard to keep my emotions in check because of how big of an overthinker i am so im always just having sleepless nights, constant nightmares and sometimes even sleep paralysis 🥲 i guess im becoming more independent from this whole experience though! forces me to become a whole even without everyone by my side and to continue living and functioning, doing what i should be doing!

i love coming to talk to u and reading all your responses too!! 🩵 m alw looking forward to your replies and your kind words to me hehehehe keeps me going!!!

love, 🍑

i've spent the weekend in bed becuase i'm sick again! i binged s2 of the summer i turned pretty and i cried a whole bunch. i love how they really took the angsty route this season--really showed how diff people deal with grief! probs gonna call out tomorrow because i've been sneezing like crazy and my voice is lowkey gone ;; i think i'm gonna try to get some writing done and post a teaser for a story that may never be completed but it's too good to just stay in my drafts!!

oh sure, i have my masters in education. i went thru a one year ma program with a teacher's cred tied into it too. my program was unique in that they condensed a two year prog into one accelerated and it was the toughest year of my life tbh. working full time as a teacher and going to school full time for basically two degrees was tough.

i love all my ideas but i haven't been able to finish them!!! i really want to get them out to the world bc theyre too good to sit in my drafts but it's so incomplete!! the one i am thinking about posting can be a standalone because its such an open-ended ending but there's still WAY more planned for it.

if you have time, playing games together online is a good way to keep in contact. we played pictionary on a website and it was super fun during the pandemic a lot!

it looks like youre slowly getting your ducks in a row for the internship despite the stress! but i see how missing your so and friends can affect your mood. feeling alone is never the best feeling and i totally see where you are coming from. but look at you, you're already looking at the positives out of your stressful situation! that's so great! you can only go up from here, you know? and listen, this is something i always tell my students, each person has their own timeline--their own time to make mistakes, to figure out what they want or need, etc. you may take longer than others but you don't need to worry about others. worry about you and focus on the things you can do for yourself to make you better. and if you make a mistake, that's just a lesson you can take. it's all about your growth mindset!

love u lots!!!

[lostacelonnie]

Hey no worries i have to interact with people i dont wanna all the time & have to take a moment & not be like that myself. Oh shit its school time already? Maybe some will know but the beauty is that eventually you reach a point where nobody will who you dont want to so fuck it we ball on that one. Lakeside beaches are also very good i think mt fuji in japan has some like. Lakeside beaches that offer a good view of it & i wanna see that. Im not sure what the definition of fancier english words is here but mostly you dont need them in my experience anyways. Even specific words have workarounds. Ah so making it easier & more generic but not going into the details like they used to. Thats a shame especially with how confusing english can get. I went one town over a week or two ago & it was 108 F, or 42 c i had to convert that, at like 8 at night i was dying. Totally fair sometimes knowing when to hold off is best & its nice to enjoy stuff later for certain things. Turned out i had enough for 2 ten pulls but kafka came home on the first so my luck got burned for a bit i think. Cant wait to use her. The story is interesting but ive been having. So much fun diving in fontaine i ignored the story for a whole day. Good luck on your gear maxing & eventual ender dragon fight! Ah yes a tough choice. That i guess boils down to how much you like your family. So good luck on that decision as well! Oh please do! I found a purple that should work with my hair just need to use it when i have time. I would like to grind more but it kills my phone battery. Oh i got sampo too but i dont think i need to worry about building yet. So no artifact grind for me. The aeons are conceptually really cool & i cant wait for more simulated universe. When i get back to it. So many side quests. My brain is a sponge for fish facts mostly. Its weird. Like antarctic sponges are theorized to live so long because the low temperature & high pressure slow their aging dramatically

thanks ahdfkjg i appreciate it. it is indeed school time already! i start in just under a week but the beginning of the school year is pushed back this year bc september 1st is on a friday so its starting on the 4th instead! yippee! and yeah defo but luckily the people who already know, that being my mother and a couple friends, are very chill about it so even More fuck it we ball. yeah im pretty sure it does but not completely certain. speaking of which maybe ill go see mt fuji if i end up traveling more when older. and well its hard to explain shdfj i mostly mean like, rarer words used, for example, in poetry, or more specific words, lets say the parts of a ship- which, yes, i DO know the basic ones, but theres a couple that i only know the polish equivalent of [for example, a dziób is called a prow! i had to look that up!]. but yeah it doesnt really hinder my day to day understanding of the language, its just occasionally mildly annoying. and yeah it is like that but oh well. GOOD LORD 42C????? id just Perish. the moment it starts getting uncomfortable for me is like 27c [80f]. yeah ill see What Life Brings!! and oh congrats!!! tbh i didnt really have the energy to play star rail recently sjdnflgk but at least i converted that time into actually drawing so id say its for the better. and oh cool!!! im back in warsaw so ill probably check it out any day now sjdkfjm if im not too busy with rain world that is. god i love rain world. and thank you!!!! its extremely funny bc while ive liked minecraft for YEARS now i never actually ended up beating the game cos i have an unfortunate tendency to abandon saves.... but ill try to finally do it. beat the fake gamer allegations. i do actually like my family, or at least my mother since im not really close with my half siblings [all adults, also 2 outta 3 dont moved out of poland] or the rest [live like half the country away] so yeah i still have to think about it. anyway, dye update: i actually managed to do it! finally. thank god. and oh i feel you, my phone was dying bc of memory so i play on pc now. best decision of my life tbh. YEAHHH im so curious about them...... SWARM DISASTER GAME MODE SOON THO....... AND EPIC thats so cool!!! i love hearing fish facts knowing damn well im Not going to remember anything