#i cannot write for shit but if anyone does i will have your hand in marriage

[frozen-seagrass]

Thinking about Mav being unsure of what Ice's eye color is

Of course he's not going to do the normal thing and ask the man, so he settles for finding ways to get up close and personal to try and see for himself without being obvious (-> he fails)

But every time he gets a close enough look they're different. One day they look blue but the next they look hazel. One moment they look brown but then he turns his head and a different light catches on them and they look almost green

It turns into one big game of "How close will he let me get? How much will he let me see?" And it's not until he's gotten to the point of being a breath away from Ice's face- close enough to brush lips- and standing under the bright white LEDs that he realizes that they're gray

[brokenmenswhore]

Hi, first of all I agree with the other ask, you're definitely my favourite writer on here, I love how you write Aegon! Also your smuts are SO hot but also so emotional idk it's all perfect 😭 I'd love to request a fic where Aegon and fem!reader (idk maybe some Stark girl living in the Red Keep for some reason?) are so obviously in love but they both express it with teasing and making fun of each other and they're kind of best friends who love going around and creating chaos (Alicent gets SO annoyed). One night they get pretty drunk and they finally understand they both want each other so badly. Also can we please have a happy ending, they're gonna stay together forever and stuff plz I'm done watching this man suffer he deserves some relief 😭 thank youuu ily 🫶🏻🥹

thank you so fuckin much 🥺 i’ll give you two happy endings for aegon if you know what i’m saying wink wink

trouble | aegon ii targaryen

pairing: aegon targaryen x stark fem!reader

warnings: drunk sex, smut (MDNI 18+), rain sex is that a warning

────── ☾ ──────

Though you missed Winterfell, the Red Keep began to feel more and more like home the longer you resided there.

The greatest reason, perhaps, was Aegon. You two were fast friends, and matched each other’s constant desire to stir trouble. The more you spent time with him, the harder and harder you fell. You could not deny that you were in love with him if you tried, but luckily, no one ever questioned it.

Instead of telling Aegon, you simply teased him every chance you got.

“Open up, you drunken whore,” you called, banging on his chamber doors.

He swung the door open, sticking his lower lip out to pout at you. “I’m not drunk yet.”

You laughed. “The only fault you find with my insult is that you are not yet inebriated enough to properly embody it?”

Aegon smiled, “precisely.”

“I cannot stand you,” you said, walking past him and entering his chambers, plopping down on his bed.

“No, please, make yourself comfortable,” Aegon jested.

“I am only shocked to find your bed empty,” you reciprocated. It was a joke, but you still felt a pang in your heart at the reminder that Aegon had a constant cycle of whores in his bed. You were pleased to find it empty tonight, though.

Aegon leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “You are aware that I am your future king, and in fact not a whore, correct?”

“I beg to differ,” you responded, “you are but the greatest whore I know.”

“You must be having some shit sex then.”

You giggled at his retort. This was how you liked it: fun, light, and full of understanding of one another.

“Are you not tired?” Aegon asked.

You adjusted the pillows beneath your head, propping them up higher as you leaned back, seated on the mattress, “it is much too early to be tired.”

“I suppose that is true.”

“Are you aware that your mother has invited House Baratheon for supper?” you asked.

“Of course I am.”

You could tell by the way he answered that he had no idea.

“She did not inform you?” you questioned.

“She does not like me to be present at such things,” Aegon explained, adjusting his clothing, “she says I am simply too much. I believe she tells our guests that I am too preoccupied with duties that befall an heir.”

You laughed, intentionally overdoing it. “As if anyone would believe such a thing.”

Aegon opened his mouth in offense, but meant it as playful. “How dare you speak to your future king like that,” he said, laying down on the bed next to you.

“If you are my future king, you shall never see me on my knees,” you responded.

“Shame,” Aegon replied.

Your cheeks reddened from just the singular word. Did he mean a shame he would never see you on your knees?

“Did you come here simply to bully me?” Aegon asked, propping his head up on one of his hands as he laid on his side and faced you.

“Of course, why else?”

Aegon sighed. “I’m bored.”

You turned to look at him. “I am insulted that you are bored in my presence. I’m the most fun of anyone around here.”

“So entertain me then, Stark,” he said, playfully pushing your shoulder, “if you’re so fun.”

“If it were up to me, we would just crash your mother’s dinner,” you said.

Aegon’s eyes widened at the idea. “I’m in.”

You smiled. “Truly?”

Aegon nodded his head yes. “I’m already a disappointment,” he shrugged, “I may as well fill my cup while I’m at it.”

You laughed and jumped up off the bed, watching as Aegon fixed up his hair before you two left the bedroom.

You laughed and snickered quietly as you crept down the lavish staircase to the grand dining hall, slowly peeking into the room where Alicent was hosting her guests.

“She allows Aemond to be present, but not you?” you whispered, loud enough Aegon could still hear you.

“Why are you whispering? I want that wine,” Aegon said, marching into the dining hall and pulling you in with him.

“Oh, mother, you shouldn’t have!” Aegon said, strutting over to the wine in front of his mother and downing the entire cup in one gulp, “all of this for me?”

Alicent sighed. “Forgive my son, Lord Baratheon, he is rather drunk-“

Aegon continued to work the room as he signaled you to grab the wine bottle next to Aemond. Trying to do anything in close proximity to Aemond was a challenge; he would grab your hand and stop you in an instant if you weren’t careful. He already knew you were there, so Aegon had to truly distract him.

“I am not drunk,” Aegon protested, “but simply excited to greet our esteemed guests!”

“Aegon, this is highly inappropriate-“

“Lord Baratheon, a pleasure!” Aegon said, swiftly taking the man’s face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his lips. The room stilled for a moment, shock and awe on everyone’s face.

You moved behind Aemond’s chair and snuck your arm out next to the armrest, gripping the top of the bottle and pulling back as Aemond moved to stand and stop his brother.

“Aegon!” Alicent bellowed as her son pulled away, giving a few gentle taps to the side of Lord Baratheon’s face before he caught your eye.

You held up the bottle, and Aegon swiped two glasses before you both ran out of the room.

“AEGON!” Alicent called, but you were both running as fast as you could, laughing as the wind caught your hair.

You ran up a staircase, Aegon following suit as you reached the roof of the tower. The night was beautiful, and you could see Sunfyre taking a nighttime fly in the warm night’s air.

You leaned your arms against the stone, overlooking the water as you watched Sunfyre and rested long enough to catch your breath. Aegon appeared next to you and did the same.

“You able to get this thing open?” you asked, passing him the wine.

Aegon took the glass bottle in his hands, swinging the top fourth into the stone. Glass shattered and wine spilled as Aegon rushed to right the bottle and keep most of the wine inside.

“Aegon!” you laughed, kicking the glass shards away from either of you.

Aegon poured the wine into the two cups he stole, handing you one as you sank down to sit on the stone flooring beneath you. You leaned back, relaxing as you turned to Aegon, who had already finished his entire cup.

“Gotta keep up, Stark,” he teased, and you downed your entire cup with one giant sip.

“You’re trouble,” you told him, holding out your cup for a refill.

“You like it,” he said, still jesting and teasing you as he filled up your cup, but his words ignited something within you.

You and Aegon continued to drink until the wine was completely gone and Sunfyre had long been asleep.

You were still coherent, but you were both undoubtedly pretty drunk.

“I cannot believe you actually kissed him!” you laughed, Aegon shrugging his shoulders and pretending to bow.

The mood calmed down for a moment, and you could feel your brain become hazy.

“You got me drunk,” you pouted.

Aegon placed a hand to his chest in offense. “I did no such thing.”

“I wouldn’t have drank this all if you weren’t also drinking it all,” you explained.

“So you only do what I do?” Aegon responded.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

Your eyes immediately widened, you were completely shocked by your own words. You went to stand and leave from the sheer embarrassment taking over you, but you didn’t have the energy to run away right now. Instead, you tried to dig yourself out of the hole.

“Woah, I’m really drunk, what did I just say? Must have been something stupid. Probably another joke.”

“You don’t seem that drunk to me,” Aegon contested.

“No, no, I am drunk. I am so ridiculously drunk that I don’t even remember how I started this sentence. I am so-“

Aegon could see right through you, and knew you were faking it to save face.

He cut you off by pressing a finger to your lips, shushing you. “And what do you wish for me to want from you?”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “I think you’re more drunk than me, Aeg, because that made no sense.”

“If you’ll do whatever I want-“ Aegon’s voice trailed off as he reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. His hand lingered, slowly resting against your cheek as he caressed your face.

“Aegon?”

He snapped out of his daze as his eyes drifted from his hand touching you to meet your eyes. “Yes?”

You felt the liquid courage coursing through your veins. “What is it you wish for me to do?”

Aegon’s hand moved from your face down your body, until it reached the hem of your dress. He looked to you for consent, and you nodded, giving him the go ahead.

He pushed your dress up your legs until it rested entirely bunched up around your waistline, exposing your small clothes to him.

There was already a wet patch on the fabric. You had spent the entire evening with him, so it was only to be expected, but apparently not by Aegon.

“You’re really wet,” he said, in genuine shock.

You blushed and tried to close your legs. “I mean, yeah.”

Aegon slowly pushed your legs open again. “From what?”

He was not asking as foreplay, he was asking because he was curious and too drunk to understand why someone would want him.

You placed your head in your hands, but forced out the words, “well, I spent all of tonight with you, Aegon, this usually happens.”

You did not expect to say all that, but the wine in your veins was making you more bold than you had ever been with him.

Aegon nearly choked on air when you spoke. He ran a finger over the wetness, causing you to shudder from the sudden contact. “This is all for me?”

His lustful voice was now seeping through.

“Yes,” you confirmed.

Aegon ran his finger along the waistband of your small clothes, gently tugging them down and off of your legs to completely expose your cunt to him. You’d never felt so vulnerable.

“Aegon?”

“Yes?”

“Please.”

Aegon moved closer to you, but stopped himself. “You’re really drunk.”

You scoffed, “I’m not that drunk.”

“But-“

“Aegon, I’ve wanted you forever, and I’m not that drunk.”

Aegon blushed, which was something you’d never seen him do before. “You have?”

You closed your legs and leaned forward, sitting on your knees as you took his hands in your own. You sighed and looked into his eyes. “You are an idiot.”

Aegon pouted at you again, intentionally overdoing it. “Mean.”

“You love me,” you responded in a tease.

“I know,” he replied.

Your breath caught in your throat. The intensity and emotional gravity of the situation was slightly sobering both of you up. You gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment before Aegon pulled you into a desperate kiss, a few soft raindrops hitting the tops of your heads as your lips moved in sync.

“Can you stand?” you asked, pulling away.

Aegon rose from the floor, standing in front of you as you shifted closer and closer to him on your knees, raindrops still hitting both of you.

You gently tugged down his breeches, exposing his semi-hard cock. You took the length in your hand, gently kissing the tip before taking him in your mouth.

He started to show himself to you, growing as you began to gently suck him, moving your hand in sync with your mouth on his base. He threw his head back in pleasure as a hand held the back of your head. He did not apply any pressure, but simply rested his hand there for the comfort of knowing you would stay.

“Wait,” he snapped himself out of his lustful haze for a moment, “but I was gonna-“

You pulled off of his cock with an pop. “Would you just let me take care of you?”

No one had ever asked him such a question, and you could feel him twitch in your hand. You were gently, excruciatingly slowly stroking him, gazing up at him as he watched you.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” Aegon said.

“Like what?” you blinked, taunting him.

“Fuck,” he cursed again as he watched you taste him again, moving your head back and forth.

Aegon had never been treated so kindly before. Oftentimes the women he bed were rough upon request, or gave him nothing, only acting as a vessel for him to outlet his frustrations.

Despite never having touched one another, you and Aegon knew each other better than any two people had before, and this was no exception.

You began to swirl your tongue around his tip, collecting the pre-cum found there and spreading it around the rest of his cock as you sucked.

He had been in love with you for so long, and had pictured this in his dreams, or in his chambers with a fist around his cock, enough times that the sight of you on your knees for him was enough to make him come much faster than he usually did.

“I’m-“

You began to move your hand even faster, causing him to gasp and groan. You were determined to pleasure him first. You so desperately wanted to see how pretty he looked when he came down your throat.

You moaned around his cock, the gentle vibrations sending a shiver up his spine. You felt his muscles twitch in warning before he came, shooting his seed down your throat with a moan of your name.

He took a moment to recover, looking down at you as he wiped the rain off of his face.

“I was going to take care of you,” he said, his voice still a little shaky.

You spread your knees apart, pushing up your dress to expose yourself to him once again. The rain began to pick up, and you were blinking past the droplets. You held your dress against your waist as you stood, pressing your body against his.

Aegon swiped two arms behind your legs, forcing you to jump into his arms as he held you, your legs wrapped around his waist. He sat you down on the ledge, and you gripped his shoulders tightly, still a little too drunk to trust that you could keep yourself from falling to your death.

Aegon immediately lined his cock up to your entrance, but you spoke before he could enter you.

“Aegon, I’m going to fall and die. It’s slippery from the rain and I’m still a little drunk.”

Aegon groaned and pulled you down. “You have to flip then.”

“What?” You didn’t understand what he meant by “flip.”

Aegon sighed, “turn around, idiot.”

Aegon swung your body around and pressed on your upper back, bending you over as you rested your palms against the stone. You felt much safer in this position, even though you could see out below the tower roof.

“You could have just led with ‘turn around,’ you know.”

“I didn’t think that ‘flip’ held such a complex meaning,” Aegon said.

“You can never just say the simple version-“

“Oh shut up,” he said, pushing his entire length into you with one thrust, causing you to choke on your words and gasp at the feeling.

You were wet enough to lubricate his cock, but the rain was also to thank, your bodies even more drenched as the rain became heavy. You could barely hear the light whines Aegon was letting out as he began to fuck you.

He pulled his entire length out of you before slamming it back in, causing your body to jolt slightly forward. Aegon laughed at your reaction.

“Mean,” you said.

Aegon wrapped his hand around your hair, tugging your head backward. “Now now, that’s not very nice.”

Aegon set a steady pace inside of you, watching your body and face reacts to each and every snap of his hips.

“Fuck,” you moaned. Whimpers were free falling from your lips; you were unable to control yourself.

“You sound so pretty when you moan,” Aegon complimented, picking up the pace and nearly slamming his cock into you with every thrust.

“Wow,” you strangled, “not an insult this time?”

Aegon wrapped an arm around your chest and pulled you upward until your back connected with his torso. He braced himself against your hips, fucking into you and hitting an even sweeter spot within you due to the new angle.

“You want an insult?” Aegon whispered directly into your ear, “how about this? Just look at yourself, soaking wet and moaning from my cock in you. You’re a filthy fucking whore. My whore.”

You could tell from his eloquence that Aegon was sober. You could also tell how badly he needed you- it was almost as badly as you needed him. He didn’t have time to jest anymore, he needed your body and your mind to be consumed by the pleasure he was giving you.

“‘M- I am,” you moaned out, your head leaning backward and resting on his shoulder as he pistoned in and out of you.

“I want you to come for me,” he commanded.

You could feel raindrops hit your chest and run down your body every second, your dress completely soaked through and your hair wet enough that you could wring it out if you wanted to.

The feeling of Aegon inside of you was so much sweeter than you imagined, and his demands had you crying out his name as you reached your climax.

Aegon continued to hold you against him, keeping his cock inside of you as you came down from your high, your legs twitching from the intensity of it all as you tried to ensure that you could still stand.

“Aegon?” you caught his attention after a few minutes, wiping the rain away from your eyes, “you can’t stay in me forever.”

“Says who?” He was back.

“Aegon,” you repeated, and he pulled out of you, pushing your dress down, but it didn’t matter. The material was completely soaked through.

Aegon reached down and pulled his breeches back up, covering himself the best he could with the soaking wet fabric that no longer wanted to sit on his hips correctly.

Aegon stood and stared at you.

“Gods, Aegon, admire me inside, I’m fucking soaked,” you laughed, pulling him down the staircase and to your chambers.

You pushed the door open and were relieved to see that the handmaidens had already been in your room, and would likely not be back until morning. You pulled Aegon in, softly closing the door behind you as you began to undress.

Aegon did the same, ridding himself of all his soiled clothes.

“What now?” Aegon asked.

You wrung out as much water from your hair as you could before you climbed into your bed.

Aegon scoffed. “You’re insane, I’m wet.”

“As am I,” you spoke, matter-of-factly.

Aegon shrugged and joined you, both of you naked under the warm sheets. Aegon shivered at the sensation, feeling his muscles relax as he lay flat on his back.

You began to run a finger across his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles absentmindedly.

You took a deep breath, eyes focused on your movements on his body. “I do not wish to forget this in the morrow.”

Aegon turned his head, tiredness in his eyes as he looked at you. “Neither do I. I meant what I said. I do love you.”

You smiled. “As I do you.”

Aegon placed his hand over your own, holding it against his chest.

“You and I, causing trouble and chaos in the realm forever,” he smiled, giving you a small laugh.

You giggled. “What a pain in the ass for everyone else.”

“Ah, I’d say you’re a pretty big pain in the ass for me,” Aegon jested.

You opened your mouth in offense, but Aegon closed it by kissing you, this time more passionate and intimate than before. You were both sobered up now.

“But you love me still,” you smiled.

[aether-bun]

Dating headcanons for dead plate Vince and rody??? (Seperate)

DEAD PLATE BOYFRIENDS!!

Ok. Ok. The chokehold these two have me in is something that needs to be studied actually. Utterly thrilled that I get to write for them. Thank you so much Anon.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Talks of aggression, NSFW if you squint

Reader is gender neutral ♡

VINCENT is subtly affectionate being your boyfriend.

I think it's obvious that Vincent is very cold, inside and out, even if it isn't intentional

Little does the outside world know, however, he's very affectionate with you!

Behind closed doors, he finds small ways to be in contact with you

Knees touching, pinkies grazing, shoulders bumping, the works

It's not that he's afraid or repulsed by full on affection, it's just more comfortable for him to act the way he does. It means he can recharge without being away from you, but without overwhelming himself

I think he's a very big fan of chaste kisses, or at least giving them. Whenever he receives such rushed notes of affection, he refuses to admit it, but it leaves him with a sense of yearning :(

Adores hand kisses holy shit

I like to hc that he has a little lemon tree somewhere that he takes care of with such enthusiasm it's wild

The one thing you can't touch in his apartment is that tree. Hard boundary.

When he comes upstairs after work, he's usually very tired

This means that you both tend to just quietly enjoy each other's presence until he falls asleep in bed

Some days he's REALLY tired.

One of the chefs fucked up a batch so badly that it pushed service back by an additional 40 minutes while he had someone run supplies

It cost him a lot. That chef was brutally torn into and promptly told to never come back. Very unprofessional, but no one would say much about it.

Very exhausting lesson in hiring better employees in Vince's eyes.

That night he just laid down on your thighs and ranted. He doesn't tend to talk much for too long out of personal preference but that night he couldn't shut himself up.

You just gently combed through his hair and listened

The sensations soothed him and he got over the anger fairly well

(now he lays on your thighs some nights just to score some extra nice attention)

Dates are always very lavish, it's his personal favourite thing to spoil you. He always has a hand on you during outings of any kind.

Will pull you closer if anyone stares at you.

Gentle with you, in every possible situation, but firm

He really just doesn't want anyone to hurt you, but on top of that, he couldn't bear the ache he'd feel to see you look at someone else the way you look at him

Slut for calling you "Mine". End of discussion.

RODY is hellbent on giving you the whole world.

Loves loves LOVES cuddles

You cannot get this man off of you he is so clingy

He wants what's best for you and more this man will break limbs for you

I will say you were probably originally going to be a rebound relationship

After Manon, he found you, but it had barely been a month and he was clearly desperate for love

He was honest about Manon and the recent breakup, and in turn, you were honest about your returned feelings for him, but you very firmly said he'd have to move on first

It took a long time. You waited.

When he did get better, you two hit it off! He cared for you and you looked out for him

Your dates are walks through the park, café breakfasts and movie nights

Rody is a big fan of kisses

He kisses you and you can feel his love pouring through them, he deepens the kisses like he's starved, even though you're more than affectionate with each other all the time

Service top or complete bottom. Not because he's dainty bc he definitely isn't. He just loves you so much he wants you to have everything. He lives to serve you at this point let's be so real

Learned how to budget for you!!!! Whoa!!!!!!!!

I think Rody dances with you all the time

Rain or shine, dawn or dusk, happy or sad, he finds it nice to dance with you

It calms him

He gives the BEST MASSAGES IDC

Butterfly kisses and nose kisses are this man's kryptonite. He will cry. He has before.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey!!!! Sorry for the random hiatus, life killed me a little, but I'm back and raring to go! Dragon Anon, if you're reading this, I am working on your req but I'm making sure I actually know the DLC this time so it's taking a while to get through the content. Bear with me!!!

Sorry if these were a little sloppy, getting back into writing is a lil difficult but I'm working as best I can. I hope you enjoyed, and remember to leave your requests in my inbox!

Ciao for now~

[lovewithmary]

Listen, and hear me out on this request, have you considered writing one where Max wants to cook for reader, to try and be a good romantic boyfriend, except he's shit at cooking, so he calls up Lando, minor minor minooor issue Lando has been buying takeout and taking credit for the food for years, he's even worse in a kitchen than Max is. But Max doesn't know that

reader finally comes home, and who doesn't love seeing a firetruck pulled up outside of your apartment complex because your boyfriend and his friend can't cook

hope you find this as funny as i do, have a good weekend :)

COOKING DISASTER — MV1

summary: In an effort to try and be a good boyfriend to you, Max tries to cook up a romantic meal for the two of you. Except, he's shit at cooking. So, he enlists the help of Lando, who has been bragging and posting about his cooking on his Close Friends Stories for a year now. There's just one problem: it's all fake. And what do you get when you have Max and Lando trying to cook? A visit from the firefighters to your house, of course.

masterlist

warnings: use of you

notes: first request WOOO. this request was so fun to write, so thank you for requesting! I tried to make it funny so I hope it's funny?? idk

"Lando, you have to do it. You agreed to help me cook,"

"But it's fish. I hate fish," he replied, pointing at the fish as if Max didn't know there was a fish in his own kitchen.

"Y/N's favorite dish has fish in it," Max told Lando, already sounding as if he was exhausted with cooking even if they hadn't even started yet.

"And you're still dating her?" Lando questioned, and Max had to resist punching him.

"Lando."

"Alright, I'll help cook the fish but I hope you know I don't like it," he informed Max.

"Really? I didn't even notice," Max said sarcastically.

Max then decides he is going to take charge of dealing with the fish since Lando's one step closer to walking out if he's the one who does it. As he is looking through the recipe on his phone, he notices that Lando is in front of the vegetables.

He was only staring at them, holding a knife in one hand and his phone in the other but nothing was happening. "Lando, I sent you the recipe," Max told him.

"I know, but you should cut the onion," Lando said, trying to hand Max the knife.

"Okay, but you have to cut the fish then—"

"Never mind, I'll cut the onion," Lando said, taking back the knife.

Max watched as Lando continued to do nothing, switching between looking at him, the onion, the knife, and his phone in his hand. Suddenly, he put the knife down and looked at Max.

"I have to tell you something, but you cannot tell anyone, including your own girlfriend," Lando said, emphasizing how serious it is by making Max swear not to tell you.

"What is it?" Max asked, skeptical.

“You don’t know how to cook?!” Max exclaimed.

“This is all your fault!” Lando shot back.

“How was I supposed to know you don’t know how to cook?!”

“Why did you even ask me? Do you not know other people who might know how to cook? You could’ve asked Yuki!”

That stumped Max. If he was being honest, he didn’t even think about who to ask to help him cook for you, considering he was panicking and called whoever he called the most recent, which just so happened to be Lando. And he figured that the McLaren helper could give him a hand considering Lando had been posting what he had been cooking on his Instagram close friend's story for a little over a year now.

Only for Lando to admit that the whole thing was fake, everything was takeout put onto a plate, and he was fooling everyone with his story. Including Max. “Why did you even say yes when I asked you to help me if you knew you didn’t know how to cook?” Max questioned, clueless as to why Lando still came over.

"It all happened so fast, Max. I posted a picture on my story of my takeout that was just put on a plate and everyone was responding to it, saying it looked good. And then it kept on happening and next thing you know, I was considered good at cooking! I thought I was going to avoid, you know, actually cooking but then you asked me to help you cook dinner for Y/N, and if I said no, you'd get suspicious—" Lando started to rant.

"Lando," Max interrupted Lando, immediately quieting the McLaren driver. 

"I'll keep your secret, no matter how weird I think it is. Just, help me cook, and don't burn down the kitchen,"

"I can do that," Lando said

Lando burnt the kitchen down. 

Well, nearly burnt the kitchen down because apparently, he didn't know you aren’t supposed to put tin foil in the microwave and he didn't know what was happening in the microwave until Max saw it and yelled. Once Lando finally saw the fire, instead of trying to do something, he ran out of the kitchen and left Max to deal with it instead.

“I could’ve died,” Max told Lando.

“You’re overreacting. It was just the microwave,” Lando said.

“I was overreacting? You didn’t even know what was happening and just ran out without even helping,” Max said.

“What the fuck was I supposed to do?”

“Call the firefighters!”

“Well, they’re here, aren’t they?!”

“BECAUSE OF ME!”

Before either one of them could bicker anymore, you rushed towards them, wearing your work clothes. “Max? Why are there firefighters— Lando? Why are you here? Were you and Max hanging out when the fire happened? Are you guys okay?” You asked, checking both of them for any injuries.

“Schat, we’re fine. We were cooking when the fire happened,” Max said, gently prying your hands away from his face and holding your hands in his own.

“Cooking? But neither of you cooks,” You pointed out, confused.

“Of course, I cook! I post whenever I cook,” Lando tried saying.

“Post? Oh, you mean when you post on your story about your take-out food on a plate?” You said, unaware of how Max was laughing and Lando looking like a kicked puppy.

“You know it’s take-out?” Lando asked.

“Lan, you can see the logo of the restaurants in some of the pictures,” You tried saying carefully, now aware of how sad Lando was.

Spotting the firefighters from afar, who were waiting for one of you to talk to them, you turned to Max and Lando, who went back to bickering about something. “How about I cook something? Lando, you can join us if you want,” you offered, but before Lando could answer, you went to talk to the firefighters.

“You can’t eat with us,” Max immediately said.

“Why not? She just said—”

“I don’t care. Tell her you’re busy or something,”

“But I like her cooking,”

“She’s my girlfriend!”

“Why can’t you be the one to tell her that you don’t want me to eat dinner with you guys?”

“And get scolded about how we should spend time with our friends? No thanks,”

“Well, I guess I’m eating with you guys,” Lando said, smug.

Max glared at him and said, “I shouldn’t have said anything and just left the kitchen,”

[bones4thecats]

If its not to much to ask, could I request ror character's ( Poseidon, Hades, Thor and Hermes) with a blind reader.

Also have been following along for 2 months now and I have been loving everything you write 💛

Type of Writing: Request Characters: Poseidon, Hades, Thor, and Hermes Name: {Character} Handling Their Blind S/O Requester: Anonymous

A/N: Aw! Thank you for following me for two months, Anon! And thank you for the compliment, I've been writing since I was really young and had my massive 'gacha-faze'. I wrote a small story that I called 'Emotionless', typical gacha-kid shit, I know🤣

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🔱 He was one of the first deities to actually be around you and not get annoyed

🔱 When Poseidon first met you, you were being guided by Proteus to his throne room because you were a new assistant that Hades had gotten to help work with connecting Poseidon to his brothers

🔱 At first the God of the Sea didn't hate you, but he didn't like you either, since you would occasionally bump into things

🔱 But, after a while, Poseidon began to sympathize for you, it wasn't your choice to be blind, after all!

🔱 Whenever you guys would go out, he would either have you grab his trident to make sure you stayed near him, or he'd hold your hand to keep you safe and nearby

🔱 Because you cannot see, sometimes you bump into him from behind, which prompted him to get some guards to be around you whenever he was busy with work

🔱 If you ever wanted to go out with someone, he keeps the same guards around you, it's not that he doesn't believe you can defend yourself, after all, you're in a relationship with the one described as emotionless and tyrannical-filled, but, he does it because he wants you to be completely safe, no matter what

🔱 It would hurt him far to much to know he could've done something to keep you safe

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

💀 He met you on similar lines as Poseidon did

💀 Work was piling up, and he needed to get an assistant, so he had gotten you, who was recommended by Hermes, to help him out with the paper work

💀 You were an amazing helper, and while you helped him with paper work, his heart began to ache for you beyond anything he ever felt before

💀 Hades would smile and chuckle whenever you accidentally ran into something by accident

💀 He loves looking into your smooth and milky white eyes, it reminded him of looking into the sight of the moon at midnight throughout his childhood

💀 This Olympic brother smiles everytime you grab his hand to make sure you didn't run into anyone when attending a meeting or large gathering for either the Greek Pantheon or a combination of all different pantheons

💀 When attending meetings with his brothers or a Gods' Council meeting, he would have you either rest of his lap or sit right next to him, making sure you didn't accidentally move and get lost

💀 It happened once, and that was how you met Shiva's wives, Parvati, Kali, and Durga

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🌩️ Thor was used to being around people with different issues, since his father was half-blind

🌩️ When he met you, he had to protect you from Loki's taunting, since he could tell you were blind and had no idea what was going on

🌩️ And Thor cannot stand people being taunted without any form of defense, he finds it pathetic for the antagonist to prey on someone without any form of backlash ability

🌩️ He does not find you weaker because of your blindness at all, but he does enjoy it when you use your words against Loki

🌩️ Hearing him taunt you and then shut up once you mention how his voice reminds you of a dying cat being thrown against a barrel of rocks? Oh yeah, that is one of your keys in getting the God of Thunder to smile

🌩️ Thor always wants some kind of physical touch to make sure you were safe, since Mjölnir's handle was definitely far to large for your hands to hold tightly

🌩️ Whenever attending a meeting of any kind with him, Thor holds you close, making sure nobody, specifically Loki, took you away from his side

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

📨 You were being talked about non-stop by Aphrodite, due to your condition of being completely blind

📨 Hermes was no doubt interested, since you had survived so long without being completely annihilated by an angered God

📨 He was very much known for his patience, and that was something you both gave off when meeting for the first time

📨 Aphrodite took you to meet the Greek Pantheon during a meeting, and when you spoke to Hermes with a small smile, despite being tormented by not seeing his face, he smiled back with equal joy

📨 You had grown up with this condition, so your way of direction was decent, but when Aphrodite had to speak with the God of the Sun, Apollo, alone, Hermes stuck beside you so you didn't sun into a God that may get the wrong idea

📨 Zeus

📨 He and you definitely practice your sense of direction often, so, whenever he was sent out on a message-spree, he would occasionally take you with, so you got used to Valhalla

📨 But, whenever he couldn't, he'd give you to a fellow God, most likely being Hades, Aphrodite, Heracles, or even Apollo

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hey! I saw your writing for Miles earth 42. I was wondering if you could write what it would be like dating miles earth 42. Like some headcannons. Thank you!!

(hello! Sure I can and here ya go! Enjoy!)

Dating Earth 42 Miles Morales

I not gonna lie, he can be an ass at times

Especially when mad or annoyed or in arguments

Tries not to but is late or sometimes can't make it to daes and feels so bad

Tries to make it up to you the best he can

But other than that, he's probably the best boyfriend to have

Obviously before he was the prowler and before his canon event, he was just our Miles

After the canon, that changed but with you sometimes old peeks of that Miles bubbles up

He's protective

But in no way is possessive

You could do whatever you want and he would let you

Nobody is willing to mess with him or you because as you're doing your thing, he's nearby and watching you

If anyone looks at him and then to you, they can tell you're together

He's willing to fight if someone ever talks shit about you or makes you uncomfortable

Let's you braid his hair as long as you don't mess it up or pull on his hair too hard

He likes the feeling of sitting between your legs, his head like resting on your thigh as he just feels your hands making their way around his hair

It's a very comforting feeling and don't be surprised if he puts little pecks onto your thighs

Will not let you feel insecure, especially in like revealing or tight clothing because you just look so good

A sorta deep and sorta rough kisser at times, especially in the moment but in more soft and intimate times a slow and passionate kisser

Likes having his hands on your waist and sorta leaning you down as he kisses you, your arms around his neck and shit

Favorite place to kiss gotta be your neck and your jaw, he just has too

A hand always in your hip or on your back

Arm around your waist or around your shoulder

If you steal his clothes and he sees you for the first time in them he's gonna stare for a moment

Then just watch the smirk form as he comes up to you, kisses you and oh my Lord

Or he's hugging you from behind

Likes having his hands like roam your sides

Slips his hand onto your neck or weaves his hand into your hair, pulling you closer when you guys kiss

You can kiss him for an eternity and then some

Kissing you is like addicting to him

He always wants to make sure you're safe, and can handle yourself so he likes you to carry like a pocket knife or he taught you some shit

And if you get into fights he's obviously proud of you because you bet your ass you won

Makeouts are actually pretty common as he makes up kisses he missed

he either is hovering above you while you're on your back and kissing you

Or you're straddling him and kissing him, his lips slip down to your neck or your collar bone mind you

Or you're against a wall or he is against a wall

He likes flirting and making you flustered

He's an asshole with that shit

Calls you nicknames in Spanish or says stuff in Spanish, if you don't understand he does it even more

I feel after his dad he was more closed off, a wreck inside but wanted to be strong for his mom and you

You need to help with that and you di, you're practically his rock now who he goes to for anything, even when he doesn't want to talk

Just being around you helps him

He likes laying his head in your lap

It's just so nice and comforting to him, kiss his knuckles or play with his hands

"I love you, you know that, right?" Or "Don't worry, you got me." Is stuff he says on the daily

Hold his hand and run your hands over his knuckles and feel how relaxed he gets

He can hug you from behind, put his head on your shoulder and just stay there for god knows how long

He buys you a lot of shit to make up for what he cannot say as sometimes he can't say how much he loves and appreciates you

So he does stuff to show it

If you like cuddling he likes either having you by his side, arm wrapped around you with your head on his chest or him laying on your chest

Spoon him from behind, he loves it but will deny it entirely

Make him flustered, he'll be frozen for a minute before a real smile comes onto his face

On days where some shit is hard, either by being the Prowler he likes laying on top of you as you whisper shit into his ear

He needs stuff like that

If you got on with his mama he is not letting you go

Especially if his mom liked you because that shit is rare

Let's you steal his clothes on the daily

He sees you eyeing something when out with him, or he sees you about to buy something or have a new interest?

He's buying you it and buying you whatever you need

Go nuts, baby, he loves seeing the smile on your face

Play fights with you, likes pinning you down and just kissing you or tickling your side

He loves hearing your laugh and seeing your smile as they just calm him at the worse times

Likes sneaking away with you from anything possible

Little compliments mean so much from him, makes you feel good about yourself too

Arguments don't happen often but he doesn't yell at you when they do

He raises his voice but never yells at you

Some shit may slip, inconsiderate shit that makes him an asshole but he knows that immediately

Not the best at apologizing so give him time when he does come to apologize

Make him grovel ISTG

Nicknames from him are just so smooth and so- oh my god

Head on your boob and hand on your ass

I say no more

Will not let harm to you come no matter what as long as he breathes

He didn't plan on telling you he was the prowler for a long time

You had to find out yourself and he thought the relationship was over

He was saying over and over it was okay, he does it to protect his family and you, that he wouldn't hurt you and so on

You may need time but he understands

Always is sneaking in through your window also

If you have siblings and they meet him prepare because they now love him more than you

Babysits them with you and is now their partner in crime against you

He's so husband

[holylulusworld]

Gun for hire (2)

Summary: You’re his next target. Nothing else. Right?

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader

Warnings: hiring a killer, Lloyd being Lloyd, being followed, sunshine reader, awestruck Lloyd, also annoyed Lloyd, character’s death, blood, safe-napping?

A/N: Another chapter this week.

Gun for hire (1)

Gun for hire masterlist

Lloyd watches you walk toward the other side of the counter to sit down and dig into your food. You chew slowly and close your eyes to savor the taste of the last food you’ll ever eat.

He pokes the pasta with his fork, brows knitted together as he tries to find out why he hasn’t killed you yet.

“How did you…” you begin but stop to eat another spoonful of pasta. “How did you become a hired killer?” You look at Lloyd. “I won’t tell anyone. After I’m done eating, you’ll kill me so…please tell me anything. This is the last conversation I’ll ever have.”

Lloyd drops the fork to look at the gun in his other hand. “I tried with the CIA, but that wasn’t my style. Before they do something you must write an essay or shit.”

You giggle when he makes a face. “So…you’re with the CIA?”

He sighs. “I just told you that I tried, and it wasn’t for me. I have my own business now, sunshine. No boss ordering me around. I’m the boss, and order people around.”

“Hmm…sounds interesting,” you nod thoughtfully before shoveling more food into your mouth. You chew slowly to think about your life, and what you want to achieve before you die. “Do you like it? Killing people for money?”

Lloyd looks at you, furrowing his brows. He never thought much about his profession. Lloyd loves money, and to be in charge. But does he like killing people?

He thinks about your question before a smirk appears on his face. “I like it very much, sunshine.” Lloyd steps closer to you to stand right next to you. “I love it when they beg, and whimper. Do you know how good it feels to end some douchebag's life?”

“Interesting,” you nod slowly. “Will you enjoy killing me too?” You look him in the eyes, stubbornly holding his gaze. “And if so, why? I never harmed you or tried to make your life harder. It was my boyfriend deciding to hire you.”

“Fuck’s sake, you’re annoying and too friendly. Why do you still smile at me while I stand right next to you, my gun unlocked?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “Why not? You only try to do your job. Even if I could never harm anyone, I guess someone must do your job too.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he snarls. “I’m about to kill you, woman! Did you realize that this is not a joke? Is your head empty or something?”

“I got that you are here to end my life,” you slip off the stool to place your hand on his chest, soothingly running it up and down. “The question is, are you ready to kill me? You look a little unsure.”

“What?” He hiccups. “I’m never unsure…what?”

“Is this your first time?” You look at him and smile softly. “Did you never kill an innocent woman before, Lloyd? Do you want me to make things easier for you?”

His chest heaves up and down, and he feels his patience wear thin. You are making him crazy, and Lloyd doesn’t know how to handle the situation.

Can he kill you? If he kills you, he will break one of his rules. Your ex-boyfriend didn’t pay him. Lloyd doesn’t have an assignment and no reason to kill you.

Maybe he can end you – if only to stop you from making him doubt his intentions when it comes to you. Now that you have seen his face, he has got another problem.

“My first time?” He grins now. “Cupcake, I killed people when you were still in your nappies. What I do cannot be taught.”

You giggle. For a guy with a gun, Lloyd is funny. “You’re not that old. And…didn’t the CIA train you?” You knit your brows together, thinking hard. “I think I saw a movie…or was it a show…”

“Sunshine, we are not in a movie,” he growls and pats his thigh with his gun. “What is going on in your head? Why are you not like…screaming and crying.”

“Do you want me to cry for you,” you ask. “Would this make you feel better, Lloyd?” You smile sweetly and pat his chest. “How can I make you calm?”

“What are you doing?” He murmurs while you keep on touching him. People usually shy away when you step into their private space. Mainly when you are a stranger.

If you want to survive this day, you must outsmart Lloyd. He’s not used to people being kind to him, especially when he tries to kill someone. You’re nice, and kind – not stupid. You don’t want to die and will try anything to stay alive.

“I don’t know,” you whisper as you stand on tiptoes. You’re about to distract Lloyd with a kiss when you hear the front door burst open, and bullets hit the wall outside the kitchen.

You shriek and end up on the ground, Lloyd on top of you. “Stay down, and hide behind the counter,” he grunts in your ear. “Go…”

Lloyd rolls off you to scramble to his feet. You admire him for his catlike agility. He slides over the floor to hide behind the wall next to the door while you struggle to get on your knees to crawl behind the counter.

You’re shaking as gunshots hit the kitchen door.

Pressing one hand over your mouth you try not to make a noise.

“Come out, come out!” A man yells. “If you come out, I won’t hurt you, Y/N.” Shit, he came for you, not Lloyd. “I know you are in there. Your lovely boyfriend sent me to keep you safe.”

“Not a word,” Lloyd whispers, as if you are stupid enough to believe the other man came to your rescue. “Shush, cupcake and you will survive the day.”

“Come out, little bird!” The man kicks the door open. It hits the wall with a loud thud, making you flinch. “I know you are here…”

You hear footsteps, and then a loud thud. The man screams in pain and agony. “What the fuck!” You poke your head around the counter to watch him fall to his knees. Blood is spurting from a wound on his side. He desperately tries to stop the blood from leaving his body, but it’s no use.

“No, sweet cheeks,” Lloyd taunts. “Lloyd fucking Hansen.” He kicks the man, laughing as you scream for the first time. “Oh, so you can scream.”

“Y-ou shot him,” you blink at Lloyd. “Why? He wanted to make your job easier.”

“My job,” Lloyd empathizes. “It was my job to kill you. That piece of shit of a boyfriend hired a loser like that to replace me.” He kicks the man again. “You cannot kill my prey!”

“Please stop!” you sniffle. “You don’t have to be cruel.”

“That piece of shit wanted to kill you and you want me to go easy on him?” Lloyd kicks the whining man again. It’s only a matter of time before he bleeds out. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. What will it be, pumpkin?”

“Easy—” the man wheezes. He clutches his side while staring at you. “He said it’s easy money. Go in. Make it look like an accident and go out. I didn’t know he hired you too…”

“Well, you just tried to steal my kill so…” Lloyd aims his gun at the man’s head. “You will tell me everything about your client and where I can find him. Make my job easier and I’ll let you go.”

“At his new girl’s home,” the man splutters. “He wanted us to meet up at the park close to her home at midnight after the job here is done.”

“Good boy,” you cover your mouth when Lloyd shoots the man in the head. He doesn't see his end coming and falls to the ground, a stunned expression on his face.

You stare at Lloyd and his gun, scrambling away because you know, he must kill you now too. Your heart races and you try to swallow the bad taste in your mouth.

“FUCK!” Lloyd stomps his foot. “Fuuuck!” He growls in your direction while you try to crawl around the counter. 

Lloyd takes a few deep breaths. He tries to calm down and think about his next steps. While you press your back to the counter and close your eyes to count to ten, Lloyd secures his gun.

“Sunshine, get up,” he snaps his fingers. “Hurry, we don’t have all day.” You gasp when he suddenly stands in front of you. At least he tugs his gun away to hold out his hand for you.  “We need to pack a few things. I don’t know how many incompetent idiots your boyfriend hired.”

You blink.

“Chop, chop sunshine. I need to get you out of here. I won’t let anyone steal my kill,” he grabs you by your arms and brings you to your feet. “Light package, sweet cheeks.”

He guides you out of the kitchen and upstairs, telling you to pack a few things. 

Lloyd gives you twenty minutes before he drags you out of your house, two suitcases and one duffle bag in his arms. He mutters under his breath on his way toward his car. A pretentious black SUV. 

“Get inside, shut your mouth, and don’t make me shoot you. I need to make a few calls on our way home.”

He throws your luggage into the trunk, still muttering as you slip inside the passenger seat. 

You dare not breathe when he opens the door and claims the driver’s seat.

“We will talk about a few rules on our way…”

Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[theyanderespecialist]

Abel's Baby Mama (Headcanons) Yandere Baby Daddy SCP-076/Abel X Pregnant Reader

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am running late on writing this, so sorry if I am a bit rushed. Anyways let's do this! hope you enjoy this!]

(Disclaimer: Abel is most likely AROACE in canon and does not need or have the urge for or have a desire for Romantic or Sexual Relationships. But in this let's pretend the fighting machine can feel it kk? Anyway, he is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! thank you!]

-Headcanons With Abel Aka SCP 076-2 X Pregnant Reader From the SCP Foundation Online Community-

.Abel had never wanted anyone in his life. That was until he met you. 

.he wanted you and wanted you to be pregnant with his children. 

.so he had been quick to impregnate you. 

.You are the woman of his desires and he would easily want to have offspring with you. 

.Which he will train them to be strong warriors.  

He would be the type of yandere to be very protective over you while you are pregnant. 

.He was raised being one of the first children of Adam and Eve. So he has some old-fashioned ways. 

.Such as being the provider and the protector and that as the woman in his life, you needed to have the children and be his support. 

.So he would want some of those traditional values. 

.His WAY protective side is extreme! In which he does not like to have anyone near you. 

.He also does not like you away from him so he would want to have you by his side at all times. 

.He would end up doing his best to work with the foundation so he can get his containment cell upgraded and that he can have a nice little home for you, him, and both of your children. 

.If anyone tries to get too close to you he gets very possessive and pulls you close to him glaring at the person. 

.If the foundation tried to take you away from him he would go on a murdering spree until he can get to you and keep you safe and sound. 

.He also only wants you and becomes very jealous and very serious. 

.Who does not want to share you with anyone and he demands to be with you in all doctor appointments. 

.If those doctors did anything wrong they would at least have a broken hand or worse case be dead. 

.He would also do a shit ton of research on a healthy pregnancy as he knows that times have changed and he wants the best for his children. 

.He does not mind if the babies are girls or boys, he will treat them the same and raise them to be warriors. 

.Of course, he is going to be protective of them as well and not expect them to go into battle until they are adults. 

.He is realistic with this. 

.When you have morning sickness he is not grossed out about it, instead, he is helping you feel good and holding your hair back. 

.He also would take care of you in any way shape or form. 

.May it be cooking healthy meals for you, and massaging any aches you have. 

.He unlocks a very caregiving side as he is obsessed and in love with you, and you have the amazing job of carrying future warriors. 

.So he needs to be the man and to support you when you have the job to carry his kids. 

.He paces a lot when you do have to leave without him. 

.He cannot stand being away from you and would sometimes break out of containment to find you. 

.He is still very murderous but being with you does mellow him out a bit. 

.Which the foundation takes advantage of. If they can control Abel with his girlfriend aka baby mama aka you and his future kids then they will throw you to him and he will be able to keep you. 

.Your fate is sealed once Abel knows you are pregnant, so maybe do not tell him that you are. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done! I hope that you all enjoyed this! 

I will maybe do a scenario on my youtube ASMR reading of this! So check it out and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[ratcash-wasgud]

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝙼𝚘𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗!𝙼𝚒𝚣𝚞

Hey heyyyy. I know I'm not doing the shit I'm supposed to, but this has been on my mind for so long, and I CANNOT get it out.

Mizu hated her job. Working in a busy restaurant as a waitress is honestly exhausting, especially when someone is kind of masculine presenting. Sometimes she thinks that college isn't worth enough to suffer through this. Rude comments from middle aged customers about how she's not feminine enough, no tips from men since they usually think she's one of them until she speaks up, and little kids asking "are you a boy or a girl" are part of her daily rutine. But still, there is one good thing about her job. You.

She usually shares a shift with you, and you happen to be her polar opposite. You're cheery, optimistic and seem to be always shining. You're always there when she drops a plate, apologize in her place, and help her clean it up. You seem to be young too, almost her age. During some of the shared breaks, you told her you're four years older than her, and never managed to finish college. Why? You got pregnant.

You briefly told her about it once. You did really well on an exam, and went out to celebrate. You got really, reaaaaly drunk. Since there was this guy, who was paying for your drinks, you went all out. The next thing though was that you woke up in an unfamiliar apartment, naked. You did a test the moment you got home, and found out you were pregnant. You dropped out to get a full time job, to afford this baby, because you weren't able to get rid of it, and when your snob parents found out, they cut contact with you. Now you're still raising your two year old daughter, Charlie.

You're stronger than anyone Mizu ever met. When she learned that you're a mother, she suddenly understood why are you so motherly. Why are you so warm. You have practice in treating children, and even if Mizu doesn't know it, she is still one on the inside. And an angry one at that.

And with the though that you are a mother, she fell in love with you. Your gentleness, your kind nature, the way you unintentionally coo at her when she's grumpy...it all just made her crave your presence. You never gave her more than a hug though aside from those rare pets on her head her when she does something really well.

She knows she shouldn't think about stuff like this, and it's not even her place to even have the though, but...you were with a man once. You never talked about anything else that could give her a hint about any of your previous or ongoing romantic interests, and that frustrates her. Akemi always tells her when she meets a guy, or Taigen when he manages to hook up with a girl...even Ringo told her about this pretty girl at the local bakery he really likes visiting. So why not you? Do you not have anyone? Ever? You probably don't like raising your kid alone, so why don't you try dating? Or dating her, to be specific. But, to cut this short, as far as she knows, you're straight.

"Oh God, we're sorry." You give a customer an apologetic smile as you kneel down on the ground to pick up pieces of a cup Mizu had just dropped. "The next drink is on the house. Again, we're sorry."

Mizu crouches down beside you, and she starts collecting shards too in silence. When the both of retreat to the kitchen, Mizu stops your hand when you're about to add a drink to your own tab. "What are you doing?"

"I told them the next drink is on the house." You say, raising an eyebrow. Mizu feels your pulse as she holds your wrist.

"Yeah, so why are you writing it to your name? I dropped the cup." She says, her tone harsh and unfriendly as ever.

"Because you already had to pay for that rude man's stew the other night. I can't let your paycheck get reduced to a single penny." You give her a slight smile and a small chuckle. You're too good to her. She keeps messing up, and you're the one cleanig up her mess.

Still, Mizu takes the pen from you and writes the drink under her name. "Buy Charlie something on your way home instead. Tell her it's from the weird woman from work." She sighs.

It's worth it. Completely. The smile on your face after she does that is just too much for Mizu to handle. "Why don't you give her the treat yourself? The daycare is close to the bus top you usually wait at, so you could come with me to pick her up."

So, that's how she ended up here, holding Charlie's small little right hand as you hold the left while the little girl literally toddles, on your way to your apartment.

Mizu was never good with children. She found them annoying and useless. But she had to admit...Charlie was adorable. The little girl was really your kid. She had the same mannerisms, even if she was barely able to speak.

"Then, the bug...got on my face. And then, I was screaming. Mean bug." Charlie mumbles endlessly as they walk. You, on the other hand, seemed to be really invested in the story, as you smile oh so sweetly at Charlie, and nod along to the story.

After that, Mizu ended up at your place somehow. She didn't want the moment to stop, so she just...kept walking with the two of you. It was so comforting, she couldn't let it go.

She watched you coo at your child as you fed her, waited obedientlyin the living room when you gave her a bath, helped you pick up her toys, and even did the day's dishes.

But it has gotten late. She should go home now...home. She feels like she found home tho. She doesn't want to leave.

"Hey..." Mizu starts as she picks up her bag. "Thanks for...you know, introducing me to Charlie." She murmurs.

You chuckle at her. "She really likes you. She was even more chatty from usual."

...

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Do you like me?"

She slowly takes your hand. She can't stand this endless longing anymore. She wants to be by your side, to help you raise Charlie, to make your life just a little easier. She wants that more than anything.

"It's okay if you don't like me yet...I should earn your love." Mizu says, looking down at the ground.

"Mizu..." Your gaze softens, your fingers wrapping around hers.

"But I will earn it." She says, now determination filling her eyes. "I will show you how good I'd be for you. And for Charlie. So wait for me, until I can prove myself. But be ready for me."

And with that, she's out the door. Her steps are light and fast as she enjoy's the night breeze hit her face. She can't help but smile. She feels free.

She now, has something in her life...something to look forward to. She can't wait to be part of that family.

You look at the now closed door that she just walked through, and smile softly to yourself.

"What a child..." You whisper to yourself with a small chuckle.

[see-arcane]

Cards with the Count

Thinking about how Jonathan is trying to pass the time during Vampire Hell Staycation with all the books in the library (a guaranteed Dracula Zone), no stationery (bastard), and a finite amount of secret pen ink and secret diary pages left at his disposal (shit). Reading and writing and art are all out. What’s left?

I like to think, in this order:

1)    He remembers that he has a pack of playing cards in the general luggage Dracula didn’t snatch. A gift Lucy had bestowed on him and Mina, a pack apiece, as she insisted that it was the best way to pass an hour in dreary company that wasn’t to do with gossip or politics.

2)    He doesn’t normally play, if only because he doesn’t have the coin to meet any real gambling stranger at a table. Just a ‘for fun’ thing.

3)    Fuck it. Solitaire. Card towers. It’s something to keep his mind off the…everything.

4)    He gets exactly one (1) day/evening of peace with this. Then:

5)    “Whatever are you up to, my friend?” 

(He didn’t even use the door to give Jonathan time to hide the pack. Misted in. No shadow to give him away. Fantastic.) Jonathan staples his smile back in place and rattles off something apologetic, so sorry, was he keeping the Count waiting? Let him just put this away, he wouldn’t be interested—

6)    Smash cut to the library. The cards are now unofficially confiscated/a staple of the Dracula Zone, alongside the fancy crystal chessboard the Count loves to crush him with on a semi-regular basis. Jonathan is walking him through the rules of sundry card games. Unsurprisingly, he latches onto the concept of American poker readily. The game is a soup of similar European predecessors that light up his eyes with recognition—primero, poque, brelan—sewn together with England’s game of brag into a medley of the initial rules, both written and unwritten.

7)    “A game of skill, then?”

“Skill, acting, and luck.”

Dracula grins as he produces a ransom of gold coins to use as chips. Jonathan deals. 

(What are the extra rules here? Does he throw every hand? Does he play in earnest and inevitably lose anyway? Does it even matter? It isn’t chess, after all. Not a proper strategy game. Cards happen. Guesswork happens. A winner and loser every turn. What does it matter?)

8)    Jonathan realizes two dozen hands later that what matters is, apparently, his face. One that, likewise apparently, cannot be read by the Count in this game. Out of those two dozen hands, Jonathan has won eighteen. Of those eighteen, his hand was the clear dud for nine. Through it all, Dracula’s eyes keep jumping from his own hand to Jonathan’s tired gaze. When Jonathan wins the twenty-fifth hand and the mountain of gold on his side of the table risks toppling off the edge, Dracula bites out a word Jonathan is sure is too caustic to have a spot in the lost polyglot dictionary.

9)    “You have a gift for schooling your face, my friend.” Every word is an icicle; each as sharp as the canines jutting out of the rictus grin.

“I don’t,” Jonathan says. 

And it’s true. Now he’s schooling his face—first lesson of anyone destined for the realm of serving others—but in the game, he’s barely thinking of anything else beyond the ticking of the clock. To punctuate this, he slides the heap of gold back to Dracula’s side of the table. 

“This is only a game for the fun of it. In a game with stakes, there would be something worth playing and worrying for. When you get to England,” his face is very, very schooled as he says this, “you’ll find a much more varied competition at gambling tables. The players who really train their expressions can do so with fortunes at stake, while novices reveal every victory or loss plainly on their face.”

10) Dracula considers this. And smiles.

11) “Ah, then there must be stakes before we can play the game properly. Still, you have won the bulk of these rounds, my friend—” his hand seems like it wants to be strangling something when it drums atop the gold heap, “—and done me the charity of not taking your rightful winnings.” He throws down his cards. Ace and deuce of spades. “I shall have to speak with the kitchen about producing a stand-in prize.” 

He leaves. Jonathan doesn’t blink when he hears the door lock behind him. A card pyramid is erected.

12) Paprika hendl for supper. As excellent as he remembers. Huzzah.

13) The next time he’s herded into the library, he sees what looks suspiciously like his travel paraphernalia flimsily hidden behind a bit of drapery. Dracula is shuffling the deck.

14) “A true prize on the table this time, my friend. I know you are one to appreciate the splendor of our beautiful country, just as I know it is, for your own safety, quite impossible to go exploring alone in the wild. Too many wolves about. But if you win the majority tonight, I shall see to it that my driver takes a leave from his own many errands to escort you beyond the castle for a time, if you so wish.”

“…And if I lose the majority?” He can’t help it: “I’m sure there’s little from me you’d be interested in.”

Dracula grins.

“We shall think of something, I’m certain. Here. Deal.”

15) As expected, Jonathan’s face isn’t effortlessly unreadable in its misery anymore. He has something to play for, even if his trust in Dracula’s dangling carrot on the stick is nigh nonexistent. He loses more. He struggles more. He worries more…

16) …But the wins and losses remain surprisingly even. On into the dawn they play, matching victory for victory. Even the Count seems puzzled. Jonathan is just tired. He was never going to win. The ‘driver’ will fall to some mysterious ailment, his possessions will disappear the moment he’s sent out of the room ahead of the Count. To Hell with it.

17) “I forfeit. We remain tied, so neither has to lose.” A sour smile curls. “Besides, I have kept you up too late again.”

“One more.”

“We can say you won—,”

Dracula gives him a Look.

Jonathan sits again. Plays again.

Wins again.

Dracula hisses several words the polyglot dictionary would be scandalized to translate. Jonathan feels the first genuine smile he’s wanted to make in a month and a half try to creep up on his lips, and stifles it.

18) Dracula turns over his cards and thumbs though the deck as if looking for a conspirator. He even scowls at Jonathan’s forearms, both bare through the whole game as he’d rolled up his sleeves. Still grumbling, his thumbnail finally hooks a card that makes a cloud pass over his face.

19) “What. Is this?”

Jonathan looks.

“Oh, that’s just a Joker.”

“Joker?”

“Yes, I thought I’d taken him out. He’s not a usable card in this game, but he’s sometimes used as a trump or wild card in others. That is, he’s there to turn the tide for whoever gets to play him.”

Jonathan reaches for the card to tuck it back in the box. Dracula pulls it out of reach, walks to the fireplace, and flicks it into the flames.

“Say what you will, but I recognize a symbol of sabotage when I see it. It should not be in the deck at all!” Still watching the little harlequin turn to cinders, he flaps his other hand at Jonathan. “Go rest, my friend. Take that infernal game with you. It is not a respectable pastime for men of our like.”

20) Jonathan gathers up the deck, gives his travel kit a last mournful look, and leaves for his bedroom, knowing not to ask after the walk in the forest as he goes. In his bed, he empties the deck into his hand again and thinks on four things.

Skill.

Acting.

Luck.

And…

21) He turns the deck’s neglected second Joker over in his fingers, the impish face seeming to hold a secret in its grin.

22) When he wakes next, he isn’t surprised to find the deck has been stolen. It doesn’t trouble him. Somehow, it even produces a tired grin on his face. It nearly matches the painted thing hidden, wild and powerful, in the pages of his journal.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Puppeteer’s Marionette

Based on a dream I had of a hunter!Matthias lol it just an idea i wanted to write idk

Rated Mature | Warnings: Matty kinda mean (affectionate), reader is from modern times

Wires, rods, hooks, puppets. Performance gloves, replacement parts, and tools to paint the puppet.

Matthias has shown you plenty of times how he works to create a puppet, often he is surprised you can sit there for hours watching him— Then again, anything dealing with him, you tend to hyperfocus on. Weirdo, he would say but never mean it… Gentle sweet you who falls asleep a few hours into watching him work, sharing the same space as him is often enough for you.

Thinking of him while looking at the poster on the wall of this theater, The Puppet With No Strings: Louis!

Or you think that is what it says… You cannot read French.

The theater map is big like Golden Cave, with three levels, and two exits and no one has seen the dungeon. You currently are in the front where the exit is after getting lost. The closest cipher is upstairs but the hunter is up there with Mind’s Eye. 

… She is the last survivor with you… Only two ciphers were completed but again no clue where the dungeon is.

The hunter has been flawless in taking out the survivors, trapping them before downing each one. Magician and Acrobat both got caught only two out of five ciphers in.

Witness the Fantastical Louis, this poster is in English.

You stand there reading the walls covered with posters, a hand touching the paper with Louis’ face… The smile is designed to look friendly and entertaining.

“Yup, still scary.” Shaking your head as you finish sightseeing to go find the dungeon upstairs after Mind’s Eye used the walkie-talkie to ping the hunter is nearby downstairs in the theater section. If she gets chaired, that is it. Upstairs the theater balcony and equipment rooms.

More posters of Louis but there are other posters of Louis.

No dungeon so far.

When you go to the balcony, you see the hunter on the stage— Finally, you see it fully rather than an outline.

Arms not fully attached to the body, transparent, fingers moving the way you have seen Matthias move his went doing puppetry, wooden designed. The hunter is tall, as to be expected for most except Robbie, they are wearing those showmen-type outfits though parts of them look burned… The most unsettling part is the parts that look like puppet attachments connected to key parts of the body… They specifically left the side of the body…

You are no Orpheus but in this case, the writing's on the wall who you are up against.

There are few in the manor with hunter counterparts, all of them a twisted funhouse mirror of them, a reminder of possibilities and the follies, yet Hastur once told you it can also be a way to face one's demons (he used a human term for you to understand).

You doubt the Baron cares about helping anyone process their trauma via being chased down by it…

“Helena watch out!” Shouting from above as one of the wooden ghostly hands moves and throws what seems to be glowing green wires. She barely avoids them but now the creature turns its gaze to you.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Running away when it starts moving, switching targets.

It will take a minute for the hunter to get up here unless it has teleport… Which it fucking does as the second you leave the balcony, the monster is there at a cipher on that same floor.

There it stands gazing down at you… Quiet. You can clearly see the parts that are human and the parts that are puppet. It is as if Matthias is using Louis to cover his scars or flaws.

“(Name).” The silence is broken by his voice that sounds off… Two-toned like Nightmare's voice. He steps forward and you step back. “You should run.” You see in his puppet hand is a pair of scissors.

“Matthias…” Standing there, “You look like a mini-boss from Bloodborne.”

Silence. Silence. Eyes narrow.

“I am trying to kill you and you're making jokes!?” Yelling at you, “Now is not the time to be joking!” Running at you thus making you run away.

You are the better kiter between Mind's Eye and yourself, you hope at least you can pull a three cipher kite as there are only three left. You ping Focus on decoding and are given a response of a cipher percentage ping.

Though you cracked a joke, one you know he does not understand, when you looked upon Puppeteer’s counterpart; you wonder if this is everything he despises in this creature, part puppet, part man, all wrong.

Two ciphers left. You need to shift the chase to downstairs where there is more room.

She went into the basement as two ciphers were down there and you survived jumping down from the balcony to the lower half of the theater audience section.

The Puppeteer threw something though before you landed and you feel and see wires tighten around your arms and legs.

Shit. You try moving but something is stopping you keeping you in place. The only thing you can move is your head which you turn to look around to see where the hunter went. He vaulted and his movement was slow enough that whatever he did to you lasted only a few seconds.

In this game, every second counts. Despite the delay, he still was able to strike you causing you now to kite wounded.

One cipher left. The percentage is five. Well if you go down it won't be too bad, you tried given the circumstances.

Your heart is racing, you swallow down your fear, you have to keep going! The backstage gives you better opportunities to try to palette stun or block. The only problem is Puppeteer can put wires to hinder you and do that weird trick.

Tight spaces, lots of things to throw at him— Which you did— And two ways out if you can make it.

The percentage is twenty-six, damn being wounded is slowing down the speed!

You need to buy time… Well… At least this is with Matthias.

He is behind you when he corners you, there you stand looking at him, wires closing off any way out without you getting caught. Both staring at one another.

“What is the plan now?”

“Not sure,” Shrugging, “Thought we could stand here staring at each other longingly.”

An eye roll, “No.”

“I could kiss you.”

“(Name)—”

“You should know I like kissing you a lot.” Point that out to him, “Come here!” Winking as you move forward only to realize you cannot move… “Oh, come on, Matty.” He hates that nickname. You see the thin strings wrapped around your arms and feel it squeeze around your neck, nothing painful just frim.

“You should learn to pay attention to the hands, not my face.”

That is true… The last cipher is at sixty percent… He can chair or bleed you out to go after the other survivor to get a complete win. Dropping your head in defeat.

His puppet hands’ fingers dance for a second making you lift your arms above your head, slightly bending them so it will not be too uncomfortable.

“You should have run for the dungeon,” Scolding you, “Running me around was stupid of you,” He leaned down, his gloved hand grabbing your chin and tilting your head up, “For once you had to be selfish,” Annoyed, “…You are always running towards me even when it could hurt you.” Sad as he examines your face, “(Name).” Saying your name mournfully.

Hastur says counterparts are far more in touch with the emotions of those they are the counter of, most are negative. Fool’s Gold's lack of morals, Nightmare's isolationism, Smiley’s obsessiveness, and Evil Reptilian's lack of restraint.

This counterpart seems… Sad? Still scary but with you he just seems sad.

“Matthias.” You try to move your arms wishing to comfort him but hiss in pain when the strings cut into your arms for trying to move against his wishes.

“Don't.” Turning your face to the left and right, “For once don’t try to chase me.”

You frown as he lets go of your face, again you try moving even as it hurts as you try breaking free. He releases you and for a moment you think you can reach out but then— Your body goes stiff, arms at your side as you stand up straight with no control of your limbs.

“Stop trying to reach for something not here.” Rolling his eyes as the extra pair of hands are the ones controlling the strings connected to you, “...” Raising an eyebrow at the way you are not looking at him while your lips are pressed together. “Seriously!?” Snapping at you.

“Sorry.” The loss of anatomical control and his stern tone with you is kinda hot.

“Tsk,” Clicking his tongue, “Do you do this with other hunters?” You shake your head at the question, “Would explain why it takes so long for you to return to the manor.”

You are shaking a bit not in anger but because you like it when he is a bit mean to you.

“How wet are you if I check?” Click of shifting wood makes your body stand with open legs, “(Name).” Accusing.

“This isn't fair.”

“I know.”

[the-one-who-lambs]

"Propose," for @bamsara

HI YOUR DOODLES INSPIRED ME HERE'S A POETRY ATTACK. rambling below the cut.

At first, the death waltz is a misstep.

A sickening skeletal crack, a shape of an invisible scythe.

Sincerity is too kind a lie, but His sacrosanct

Protection (you think)

Lets you rise once more.

Death cannot keep you, but you would let Him

If he welcomes you.

You only believe what He thinks you should know.

The flames engulf you after the smoke does,

But your soul has nearly shed its corpse when you see them.

You stand in the vast chain-bound sanctuary and breathe

Fully (your lungs don’t remember being choked).

It is the first of a fitful of

Scorn and surprises and bone fingertips pressed against your skin.

He helps you to your feet.

Your heart should not beat here. In the infiniteness of your bosom it awakens.

The very semblance of the jagged-bare flesh

Encircling your neck is an intimacy in itself.

The blissful torment of the swordsman’s blade

Releases (so close to peril)

And He is already in your periphery.

Call it duty. Call it love.

Choose it as the last decision you’ll ever make.

Fate’s a tarot pull. You draw your card with eyes sealed shut.

You are a disgraced, depraved approximation of a person.

The chill of his embrace is warmer than the hands

That build the bonfire. It is in the name of

Someone (you shan’t say who)

And in the ashes of your grief your reflection

Stares back with three eyes.

The temptation to burn yourself seeps out,

Ichor-like. You don’t die tonight, not yet.

A careful drip of poison. The aftertaste of iron

In your mouth: communion seeping into your own goblet.

A moonshine moment of annihilation, however brief

Before (infectious, echoing, comforting)

You bleed out. You hope you die today.

He hopes you die today. It’s an

Ambrosial veil between you.

You slip beneath it with a sweet hello.

It’s never quite intentional until

The myths surrounding Him fall away.

The secrets you keep are shared, kept safe

Until (your reunion, this time, was not quite an accident)

They are intertwined: you are inescapably

Lonely and in your separate spheres

You vie for dominance. It’s a furious, bloodsoaked rendezvous.

It was always He who waited, but you’ll be patient.

He feels you in every dream. You

Stop time with your voices.

It’s His frustration melting away

With your kisses (you’re not there yet)

And makes Him yours, in freedom,

Dependent on nothing nobody you himself

The fetters are invisible but you hear them

Rattling every time your heart beats.

Your breath need not return anymore so you

Relearn to dodge the aim of an arrow, the pierce of a blade.

Living is foul, a promise half-hidden,

Desperate. (It lingers on your tongue.)

Death bound you together. You know how to die.

You have to remind yourself that heaven lays barren.

It will not hold you

Should Death keep you apart.

Get appreciated idiot /pos /lh

So, this was inspired by this post, which was super wholesome and sweet, but I couldn't write this without infusing it with the urgency and anxiety and sense of danger that looms over The Rehabilitation of Death. Bits and pieces of references to your AU are sprinkled in throughout. I hope you (and my readers and your readers as well) enjoy picking apart the themes here!

I actually wrote this live on stream last night! I made sure none of my friends were streaming before I started because I didn't want to miss anyone if someone was already live, but then you started streaming like 10 minutes later and I was like FUCK now I wanna watch you. But after a couple of hours on my new extra-hard CotL save (OUCH), I switched to writing and just... hoped you wouldn't pop in because I wanted this to be a surprise. For most of the writing part of the stream this poem was titled "IF SARA STOPS STREAMING SEND ME A WARNING."

Anyway, we don't usually get to talk more than a couple times per week because we both have Shit To Do, but you are SO FUN to be around and I am so so glad I met you!! Your friendship is a blessing and your creativity is a gift.

Also posted to AO3 as onethirdofimpossible here!

[brokenmenswhore]

betrothals & brothels | aegon, aemond, & jace

part 4

pairings: aegon targaryen x stark fem!reader, aemond targaryen x stark fem!reader, jacaerys velaryon x stark fem!reader

series summary: aemond targaryen tells the realm that you, the lady of house stark, are to wed him and secure a partnership in the north. in protest, you agree to marry jacaerys velaryon, affirming the north’s allegiance to rhaenyra. when the news hits king’s landing, aegon decides it’s better to have you under his watchful eye until the political partnership is solidified, but doesn’t realize you have a life away from your duty as a stark

chapter warnings: smut!! (MDNI 18+), slapping (non-sexual, brief)

a/n: alright y’all, i think i’m gonna make this thing 6 parts? i’m really shit at writing ongoing fics because i never know how to wrap ‘em up but i storyboarded it i’m thinking we’re halfway through riiiight NOW

series masterlist

────── ☾ ──────

“Seven hells, are you alright?” the Madam asked, “you look like hell.”

You scanned the room, only calming down when you were sure there were no recognizable faces, specifically Targaryens, in the vicinity.

“I was just locked in a dungeon cell, thank you for asking,” you responded, making it clear that your annoyance was at your predicament, not at her.

“A dungeon?”

“His Grace does not favor my sharp tongue.”

The Madam’s eyes widened. “My Lady, do you mean to tell me you are in trouble with His Grace King Aegon?”

You mentally cursed. You wholly forgot that this woman had no idea of your reasoning for being in King’s Landing, having left any unnecessary piece of information out of your employment deal.

She saw your frustration, and decided not to pester the question further. “I suppose you would fancy something to calm the senses?”

You gave her a soft smile, accepting the cup the moment it was handed over to you. Taking one giant gulp of liquid courage, you said, “I need you to allow me to reside here for a while. I fear this may be the only place I’m safe.”

“I do feel obliged to tell you that I cannot guarantee His Grace never come here again. His brother, Prince Aemond, is a frequent visitor of this establishment. This may very well not be the safest place for you.”

You knew Aemond came here. You had followed him in here upon your first visitation. You also knew it couldn’t be too difficult to avoid him if you tried.

“Just a few nights, then,” you bargained, “until I find something more permanent.”

“Is the situation truly so urgent?” the Madam questioned in concern.

“May we speak in private?” you asked.

The Madam pulled you to a private room and closed the door. You explained the entirety of your situation, sure to leave in each and every gruesome detail that further proved how urgent this truly was. She listened in awe, unaware of all that had been happening in the Red Keep. She knew that Aemond, a frequent visitor of hers, had announced a betrothal, but Aemond had told her it was purely political, and to not ask any further questions on the matter. Therefore, the Madam never thought to ask who the proposal of marriage was intended for. The Stark name never raised any flags for the Madam, and she never thought anything of it.

The Madam agreed to let you rest in one of the typically unoccupied rooms toward the back of the brothel, in exchange for openness of your clientele. It still remained somewhat selective, the Madam not allowing anyone from the North near you, and of course, no Targaryen men.

You discarded the Targaryen gown the moment you were alone, happier with what was underneath. It was still quite a lot, covering most of your body, but its appearance did not strike one as wealthy.

✶

Any affection Aemond was beginning to hold for you was swiftly removed from his heart the moment he saw your cell unoccupied and the door swung open. He enjoyed a challenge, but even you were beginning to be too much for him. He was beginning to fancy you, and he was jealous of how you treated Jacaerys compared to how you treated him. He knew that, regardless of his emotions, you were the only person who made him feel like he met his match.

However, he was growing tired of the games. If you truly detested him so much, what was the point of all his efforts? He suspected why you asked him for access to the brothels; he had heard the rumors about you at night in the North. Was he truly ready to set his pride aside and marry a whore, even with a title?

He decided that while you may be his betrothed, you were no longer his responsibility. If you fought against this match, there was no point in him fighting for it. He was not even sure he truly wanted it anymore. The family certainly outgrew the need for it; the moment Aemond accepted that you truly had found a way out of your cell, he knew another northern alliance may be necessary. Houses Bolton, Mormont, and Glover had bent the knee to Aegon after a mere show of force from Aemond atop Vhagar. While none were quite as large or as powerful as House Stark, they would do well as northern allies.

Aemond chose to remain calm and collected and do his best to forget you and your attitude ever existed. Aegon, however, coped in other ways.

Aegon liked your quick wit. Though all you did was bicker, Aegon couldn’t help but remember his moment of vulnerability with you. You could have walked away, but you comforted him, despite being so adamant about hating him. He was mean to you because you were mean to him and it hurt his feelings, not because he truly did loathe you, despite what he had told you the very last time you two had spoken.

You were defensive, confident, outspoken- all the things Aegon truly wished in the depths of his heart that he could be, but knew deep down he wasn’t. Aegon desperately wanted to appear as confident and cocky, the smartest in the room, but most could see through the facade, including you. He hated how vulnerable you could make him feel. He loved how it felt when you saw that vulnerability, and chose kindness instead of cruelty. You were everything he wanted to be. You were everything he wanted.

Aegon was fueled by rage immediately after learning of your escape. He sent the King’s Guard through the streets of King’s Landing in search of you. He slammed his fists on tables and bellowed toward his brother, demanding to know where Aemond had taken you when he let you free, but Aemond would not confess, lest he leak his own private details.

The men of the King’s Guard were only employed as such due to their friendship with Aegon, and many had not actually seen you, and admittedly were not sure what you looked like.

Aegon, furious and drunk, had also made the mistake of describing you in the clothes they had provided at the time of your imprisonment, the thought that you may have taken the gown off never crossing his mind.

The men of the Guard had asked around a few brothels, but most became distracted and threw away their task in favor of a pretty girl. You were not nervous when you heard the clanging of armor, for you knew that most of these men couldn’t identity you with a name tag.

The King’s Guard was forced, after two days of searching the streets, to report to Aegon that they had no sign of you whatsoever. Aegon considered that you may have taken passage on a ship to Essos, perhaps somewhere further, but doubted that you would so easily forget Winterfell. He thought of flying there, but knew you had no way to get back home. He also thought you had no way of escaping the dungeons, and he had a consistent habit of underestimating you.

It had been nearly a full moon since Aegon and Aemond last saw you. Aemond refused to revoke your betrothal due to his own pride, at least until he could find a suitable alternative.

Aegon thought of you often, but tried to keep the thoughts at bay. He fought to not let it impact how he ruled, but his friends in the King’s Guard most certainly noticed the change in his demeanor.

They convinced him that he needed a proper night out, him and his best mates drowning in cups and whores, leaving their daily lives behind and choosing pleasure over pain for a night. Aegon agreed, knowing he truly needed to blow off steam.

His friends directed him through three brothels before landing on one, one of the men nearly deafening the room from the sound of his armor as he raised his arms and yelled for libations.

A woman brought a round for the men, taking a bow when she noticed The King. Aegon downed the drink with one swallow, slamming the cup down on the table as he said, “alright, let’s find someone.”

The men cheered, throwing their arms around Aegon’s shoulders as they directed him from room to room.

Aegon himself pushed back a curtain and stopped short, the shock of the sight rendering him unable to move.

You were standing tall, nearly naked, a man with curly brown hair knelt on the floor in front of you, his head between your legs and your hands in his hair.

You were used to people interrupting for a moment, in desperate search of an unoccupied room, so you didn’t even turn toward the sound. The man between your legs, however, pulled back and, upon seeing Aegon, knelt fully over on the floor, his hands out in front of him in a deep yoga-like bow.

You watched him in confusion before turning your head to see who he was pointed toward.

You were panting, skin slightly glistening from sweat, a tiny hint of shock that Aegon had never seen before in your eye.

Neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke. You just stood and stared at one another as the rest of the men in the vicinity noticed the tension and hastily cleared out.

Once you two were alone, you insisted on speaking first. “Your Grace,” you mimicked a curtsy, sarcasm coating your words.

Aegon took a deep breath, trying his hardest to collect himself. He was feeling a mixture of emotions: shock at the sight of you still in King’s Landing after nearly a full moon’s cycle, anger at you for escaping and running away, confusion at what you were doing fucking in a pleasure house, and most prominently, he was turned on at the sight of you.

“You’re still in King’s Landing,” was the best he could come up with.

“I’ve been trying to make arrangements back to Winterfell,” you said, picking up your small clothes from the floor and covering yourself as you spoke, “but unfortunately, the easiest route is via dragon, yet only a select few here have dragons, and I didn’t wish for them to know my whereabouts.”

“And now that they do?”

You sighed, finishing clothing your body with your small clothes and a robe as you stood tall once again. “I should hope I can count on their discretion.”

Aegon snickered, “and what makes you think you can? Did you forget what you did?”

“I only had to escape because you imprisoned me. Did you forget that?”

Silence filled the room. Aegon felt a bit bad for imprisoning you, and wasn’t sure where the conversation was headed. He instead changed the subject to what truly peaked his curiosity.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned.

You could lie. You could tell him anything that made even an inkling of sense, but you were living room-by-room in a brothel, no surefire way to get home, two men vying for your hand and only one honest, and you, quite honestly, had nothing to lose.

“I work here,” you shrugged as if the confession meant nothing.

Aegon laughed genuinely. He continued to laugh until he caught your gaze and noticed your features were stoic. “You’re not serious?”

“I know you’ve heard the whispers about me, Aegon, you cannot truly be so shocked.”

“You were going to wed my brother without your maidenhood? Was your plan to play pretend as if it hurt?”

“If you recall, I never had any intention of marrying your brother,” you retorted.

“Is this where he took you?” Aegon pressed further, the questions falling off his tongue the moment they popped into his head, his brain seemingly not able to keep up with the pacing of new questions appearing in his thoughts.

“The details of any time I spent with Aemond are none of your business.”

“They are, aren’t they?” he continued, finally taking a few steps closer to you, “did he take you here to fuck you? Did he want to ensure you could never truly belong to our little nephew?”

“No,” you scoffed. You did not owe him details. “He does not have my maidenhood, nor has he ever had me. I would hope you think higher of me.”

“You think you’re so strong, but I see right through you,” Aegon began, as close to you as he could be without physically touching you, “you and Aemond came here to fuck, and when you ran away, you came back here because it’s the only place you knew of. You were desperate for passage to Winterfell, and you needed coin to afford such a journey, hence the employment here.”

Aegon was confident in his accusation, which is what made it hilarious enough for you to audibly laugh.

“I truly wish you understood how ridiculously incorrect you are,” you said through laughs, your hand coming up to cover your mouth to hopefully mute the sound and cure Aegon of some of his embarrassment.

“Don’t laugh at me,” he spoke.

“You think I fucked your brother?” you continued, your laughter growing at the thought.

“Stop laughing at me,” he said again.

“You are so far off,” you could barely catch your breath, you were nearly leaning over from the intensity of the laugh in your stomach.

“I said don’t laugh at me!” he raised his voice, a hand coming to strike your face.

You immediately stopped, standing up straight in disbelief as your hand instinctively held the side of your face. He had hit you. All bets were off now. You did not care about striking a royal if he struck you first.

You moved to hit him back, but he quickly caught your wrists, anticipating the action. You were caught off guard, unaware he could move so swiftly. He swung your body around, slamming your back against the nearest wall, your wrists in his hands as they pressed against your chest.

You stared at each other in a moment of heat before he crashed his lips to yours. Your body took over your mind as you kissed him back, relishing in the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

All of the arguing, crying, shouting, and vitriol between the two of you had crescendoed up to this very release.

Aegon dropped your wrists and instead found your waist, grabbing the flesh there to pull you even closer to him as your hands found their way to the back of his head, fingers intertwining in his hair. He groaned into the kiss at the feeling, prompting you to pull even harder. Neither of you were gentle people, and now was not the time to try to be.

Aegon pulled one of your legs up to his waist, allowing you to feel his clothed hardness against your core. Aegon used his other hand to, with immense difficulty, untie your robe as he continued to kiss you with a fiery passion.

He only pulled his mouth away from you to push your robe open, allowing him to see your body, covered only by your small clothes. He breathed heavily, head down, gazing at you for longer than you would have guessed before he returned his lips to your neck, sucking a sweet spot just below your earlobe. You whined in response, and the sound drove Aegon mad.

Aegon moved the hand unoccupied with holding your leg up down to your core, rubbing over your small clothes. There was an evident wet spot that brutally reminded Aegon that there had been another man in between your legs just minutes ago. It also didn’t escape his thoughts that the man had longer, darker, curly hair and prominent features, much like Jacaerys.

Consumed in his thoughts, he pulled away from you, and you could tell something was wrong as he felt the wetness.

“Uh uh,” you snapped him out of his thoughts, “that wasn’t there before.”

Aegon nodded in understanding, grateful that you automatically knew what was bothering him, and slightly intimidated by that fact.

Aegon toyed with the waistband of your small clothes before dipping his fingers beneath them, eliciting a small whimper from your lips as he went back to sucking on your neck.

Aegon ran a finger between your folds, collecting the wetness there before slowly inserting a finger into your hole. Despite the ferocity of the situation, Aegon refused to miss an opportunity to hear the sounds you made when he moved excruciatingly slow.

Above all else, Aegon had an irrevocable desire to be needed and wanted. He loved to make his whores beg, even if it wasn’t genuine, because he could convince himself he was needed to satisfy them. He desperately wanted to see you vulnerable and begging, but you were too headstrong. He knew hearing any version of ‘please’ come from your lips would be damn near impossible. Damn near was good enough for him to try.

He watched your face contort as he pushed his finger in and out, curling when he hit a particularly sweet spot in your walls. You were whiny and breathy, head back against the wall, but that wasn’t enough for Aegon. He added another finger, the ring that adorned it leaving a cold sensation with each pump.

He kept his head on your shoulder, but was no longer kissing you, instead opting to rest his cheek there, gazing up at you as he watched what he was doing to you.

When he hit that special spot, your eyebrows creased, and he continued hitting that very spot so long as your face gave away how good it felt.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, your face beginning to turn a slight hint of red from the heat of it all.

“Not so tough now, are you?” he whispered in your ear.

You choked through strangled moans, “I’m still in control of myself,” and you meant it. If you truly wanted this to stop, or if you truly wanted to be more dominant, you knew you could.

“Doesn’t seem as such,” he replied, fucking you even faster with his fingers and giving himself a small, prideful smile.

He was moving in and out fast now, sounds of your wetness filling the empty space as you braved yourself against his shoulders. You were becoming lost in the pleasure, but you were too stubborn not to have the last word. “You think- fuck- you think I’m not?”

You pulled his hand away from you. It was mostly because you didn’t want to come quite yet, but you were happy to let him believe it was entirely for a show of power. Aegon was surprised, having felt your walls begin to squeeze his fingers just moments before.

You took his moment of surprise as an opportunity to grab his wrist and lead him over to the bed, pushing on his shoulders until he fell backward, the backs of his legs hitting the bed frame and dangling off the bed as he laid.

You considered pleasuring him briefly, and you could see he was hard beneath his breeches as he looked at you expectantly.

You untied and tugged at his breeches, pulling them down until he was only in his small clothes. You then knelt down in between his legs as he propped himself up on his elbows to watch you pull his small clothes down, place a teasing kiss on his inner thigh, and then stand up as if you had no intention of touching his most needy area.

Aegon stared at you, evidently disappointed at the loss of contact.

“Uh uh uh, you haven��t earned that. You don’t deserve it,” you spoke in reference to giving him the oral pleasure he expected.

Aegon tried to snap back at you in protest, but you caught his lips with your own, climbing atop him and straddling his hips. The friction of your clothed heat on his bare length was driving him crazy. He leaned forward to deepen the kiss, gripping your hips as he began to grind up against you, desperate for some kind of contact. He whined into the kiss as he did so, and despite your better judgement, you let him use your body for the moment.

When you had enough of him getting what he wanted, you pushed his shoulders until he was pressed back against the mattress again.

You took his cock in your hand, giving it a few strokes before you moved your small clothes to the side, beginning to sink down on his length.

He threw his head back in pleasure, but looked back up at you when you pulled away from him. You maintained eye contact as you began to sink down again, and Aegon took the hint, locking eyes with you as you allowed him to bottom out inside of you.

You sat atop of him for all too long without moving.

“You gonna move?” he asked, desperate.

“Not unless you ask me to.”

Both you and Aegon were in a power play now. It was turning you on even more.

“Should be the other way around,” he breathed out, erratic and heavy.

“I could sit here all day.”

Aegon would never admit it, but he enjoyed it when he didn’t have to be in control, and he was only more excited by your dominance.

He sat upwards, his cock shifting within you as his face became level with your breasts. He used one hand to free one of your breasts from the confines of your small clothes, running a finger across your nipple before encapsulating it in his mouth.

The heighten mood calmed, the act of Aegon’s mouth on your breasts causing the fiery lust to shift to pure intimacy.

Aegon sucked at one breast while the hand that wasn’t holding on to your back moved to fondle the other breast. His tongue swiped over your nipple in between sucks, his eyes closing as he lost himself in you. He swiftly removed your remaining small clothes over your head before returning to his previous position, praising your chest with his hands and mouth.

He only pulled away when you tugged at his top, the removal leaving you both fully naked in front of one another.

You moved a hand to the back of his head, gently stroking the hair there as he sucked. His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at you, never detaching from you, lightly moaning into your breast as you made eye contact.

You threw your head back and whimpered, your sighs driving Aegon crazy. Your position was so intimate, his cock inside of you as he sucked your breasts, and watching your pleasure from his mouth on your nipple was nearly enough to make Aegon come.

Aegon tested the waters of your movement, moving his hands to grip your hips and push you upward, prompting you to move slightly.

You allowed his efforts to work, very gently grinding your hips against him and pushing yourself up enough to feel pleasure, but not enough to move your breasts too far away from Aegon’s face.

He noticed, and he didn’t like it. He detached from your nipple, his chin resting on your chest right between your breasts. “Don’t hold back,” he demanded.

“I don’t take orders from you.”

You smiled so that he knew you were still playing with him, not genuinely mad. You figured he would continue this back and forth game, but instead, his vulnerability showed through. “Please.”

He was looking up at you through hooded eyes as your hips moved back and forth against him, his gaze glassy and desperate. He was prepared to beg.

“Please what?” you asked, teasing him further.

“Please don’t hold back. Please, I need you to not hold back. I need you.”

His pleading was enough for you. You began to lift your hips higher, your knees bending with each drop of your hips. Aegon reattached his lips to your breasts, challenging himself to hold on with his mouth as they began to bounce.

Aegon couldn’t help himself, he started to thrust up into you as much as he could in his upright position. It wasn’t much, but with the combination of you riding him, the movement was enough to make you sweat.

You held Aegon’s head against your breasts, your fingers intertwining themselves through the strands of his hair, lightly pulling when he gave a small bite to the flesh of your breasts.

He looked up at you and smiled. You thought the moment would be brief, but instead of immediately continuing his demonstrations, he kept watching you as you rode him.

You knew what he wanted. He wanted to see what he was doing to you, he wanted to be the reason for your pleasure- he wanted to feel needed. It’s why he was moving so slowly with his thrusts: you knew he wanted you to ask for more.

You leaned down and kissed Aegon, the kiss more intimate and personal than previously. You pushed him slightly as you leaned forward, allowing him to lay down as you lay on top of him, the position making it much easier for him to rock upward into you.

Instead, he stopped moving.

You flattened your palms against the bed on either side of Aegon’s head. “Give up already?” you teased.

“I’m not moving until you beg me.”

You scoffed. “I could just get up, Aegon.”

“Don’t,” he protested, still needy, “I wouldn’t believe you truly wanted to, if you did.”

“Aegon, move,” you said, needy yourself, soaking wet and much too ready to be fucked hard.

“Beg me.”

“Do you truly think me-“

“Beg me,” he said, his tone growing dark.

“You don’t scare me.”

Aegon fisted a hand in your hair, pulling your head backward as he placed a kiss on your neck, biting down hard on the skin. You hissed at the pain. “I said beg me.”

You decided to give in, but not quite how he anticipated. “Do that again,” you said.

Aegon bit down on your neck again, sucking on the now-bruised skin to soothe the pain right after. “That’s not enough.”

You sighed. “I don’t beg anyone for anything.”

Aegon’s hand harshly slapped your ass, jolting you upward in surprise, causing you to move on his cock. He grabbed your jaw in his hands, forcefully positioning your head so you were looking directly at him. “Fucking beg me.”

His tone was too much for you. You didn’t want to completely break your walls down, but it was too hot. You wanted him bad. You wanted to give in.

“I need you to fuck me Aegon,” you whined, “I want you to fuck me. Please.”

Aegon growled and kissed you hard, one hand moving to press down on the small of your back as he lifted and dropped his hips.

“F-fuck,” you moaned, the consistency of his strokes a brand new feeling, and so, so good.

Aegon kissed you to swallow your moans. You bit gently on his bottom lip, pulling slightly as you looked into his eyes, the feeling causing his eyes to blow out with lust.

He began to fuck you ruthlessly, moving in and out of you as fast as he possibly could, your back instinctively trying to straighten in an effort to brace yourself, but Aegon’s hand was pressing down too much on your back to keep you in place.

He grabbed both of your wrists, swiftly moving them behind your back as he held both with one hand, the other gripping the flesh of your ass to help move you against his sharp, vicious thrusts.

You could wriggle out of his grasp, or even purely strengthen yourself out of it, but you didn’t want to. It all felt too good, and you relished in the feeling of men taking control of you in bed. It was rare the men earned it, and right now, it felt right.

Your body was rocking back and forth against Aegon, and you were no longer able to control any way that your body was moving. You were completely at Aegon’s discretion. You contemplated if it was smart to trust him with your body, but you could tell he needed your body just as much as you needed his.

His hips were snapping against yours at a violent rate, his grip on your ass almost certainly preparing to leave a bruise.

“A- Aeg-“ you started, the words losing themselves on your tongue.

“Fuck, yes, say my name,” he begged.

“Ae- Aegon!” you cried out, nearly squealing.

“Sounds so good when you say it,” he spoke through erratic, hectic breaths, his forehead glistening with sweat as he used you to get himself off, fucking his cock in and out of you as fast as he could.

“Shit, Aegon, I- I can’t-“

Aegon threw his head back, the mere idea of you nearly coming causing his cock to twitch. He couldn’t wait to know how good your walls squeezing against him would feel.

He kept his head back against the bed, using the pressure to anchor himself as he tried to move faster and faster, if it was even possible.

You took the opportunity to kiss his neck, sucking a sweet spot just below his earlobe.

“Fuck,” he moaned, the intensity of the sex mixed with the intimacy of your kisses causing him to worry that he would come first if you didn’t come momentarily.

“Need- need you to come,” he begged, “wanna feel you first.”

“I’m gonna,” you responded, his neediness pushing you closer and closer to the edge as you squeezed his cock like a vice.

Your high crashed over you, your legs shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

Aegon kept up his ruthless pace, chasing his own high. The feeling of your orgasm mixed with the feeling of your legs shaking around his hips was too much for him, his final few thrusts hard enough to bruise your skin as he shot his seed inside of you.

His cock twitched as his body relaxed against the bed.

You used all of your strength to sit up and move one leg upward, swinging yourself off of his lap and collapsing on your back next to him.

“Aegon, did you just- inside of-“

“We have remedies, don’t worry. I’m sorry, you just felt too good.”

You both laid in silence for a moment, breathing and energy recovering from the ferocity of the sex as you both thought of what you had just done.

“I can’t return to the Red Keep,” you said, breaking the silence, your thoughts consuming you as you almost couldn’t help yourself but ruin the moment.

“I have no intention of forcing you to,” Aegon replied.

“You would allow yourself to take your leave as if you did not see me here today?” you clarified.

“I do not wish for Aemond to experience what I have just,” said Aegon, “if he knows of where you reside, he will continue to force your hand.“

“Was such a match not your idea?”

“It was,” he admitted, “but it is no longer necessary. I am acquainted with you now, and things are-“ his voice trailed off, and he was searching for the correct word, “different.”

“How so?”

Aegon turned to look at you, your eyes locked together momentarily before Aegon sat upward. “I must return,” was all he said before collecting his clothes and exiting the room.

────── ☾ ──────

tags: @torchbearerkyle @dracaryxzs @hangmanscoming @callsignwidow @velvetcrowbarcherry @kravitzwhore @darlingisntit @not-neverland06 @albionfay @cluz1babe @flusteredmoonn @sab-falco @ajanauia

[spencerreidsbookfairy]

i have no one to blame but you

YALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL this was so hard write im sorry if it sucks but another question.....concert scene??? just a thought

I'm at peace. I am. At. peace. 

So why do I wanna see him?

My fans loved the tracks and that makes me happy but i'm not actually happy i'm slightly content at most 

Nope. y/n go to bed 

Meanwhile at the bau…..

Garcia swears she could pass out after seeing y/n released 3 song tracks 

She the grabs her laptop and struts her pink glittery high heels across the bureau in a panic 

Derek sees her power walking to the empty round table he knew it was a calm day with no cases and in fact they were just about to leave and head home 

‘’Whoa baby girl slow down what with the rush to the round table is there an emergency case?’’

She immediately spills the beans no longer able to keep it in but she says it in a hushed whisper because spencer is right across from them by the coffee pot 

“ No! y/n  just uploaded music again after a month and i wouldnt be surprised if she wrote nasty lyrics  about boy genius!!!!’’

Derek is taken aback

“Relax penelope i'll go listen with you im sure its nothing”

Garica nods 

As theyre both going to y/ns page to see for themselves incomes jj and emily

Garcia sighs and says ‘’ good, sit down both of you”

Garica explains the situation all over again 

They finally begin listening to the first track  snow angel

I met a boy

He broke my heart

I blame him 'cause

It's easier

They finish snow angel, speechless 

“Oh my god its definitely about him what are we gonna do if spencer hears this on the radio or somethin-”

“ deep breathes garcia” emily adds 

Second track lost cause

Thought you had your shit together, but damn, I was wrong

You ain't nothin' but a lost cause 

‘’ but spencer does have his shit together! Maybe not to her but thats so-” derek tries to say

“ he doesn’t deserve this we practically forced him to not like her” jj interupts 

Track three  happier than ever

You call me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

I don't relate to you

I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

So don't waste the time I don't have

And don't try to make me feel bad

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did

Never paid any mind to my mother or friends

So I shut 'em all out for you 'cause I 

was a kid

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

‘’ spencer cannot listen to this” garcia decides 

“Listen to what?”

Everyone at the table freezes in their seat

“ not you spencer, another spencer” garcia quickly says

Everyone else at the table mentally face palms 

‘’Right….let me listen to whatever you're hiding, thanks.’’

‘’ why are you guys listening to y/ns music?”

Spencer listens to all the tracks with his face in his hands the whole time

‘’ this is all your guys fault!”

“ we know”

“ i have to go see her”

Meanwhile at y/ns home

Three knocks at first.

Then six

The a multitude obsessive amount of knocks at my door.

‘’ spencer. I swear to fuck i will call the authorities”

“ i am the authorities, please open up”

I walk to the door

Why am i walking to the door.

Why am i turning the knob 

Why did i let him in.

[ronearoundblindly]

F and Z for nomad steve! i love that fic tbh

From this ask game and about the Hideout series with touch-starved!Steve x motel employee!reader.

*sorry this took so long. Technically wasn't doing these anymore but then again this month has been a miserable mess of work and allergy pain, so this might get something flowing writing-wise. Enjoy!

Dirty headcanons ahoy! Minors DNI, please and thank you. There is plenty for you to enjoy from my Light Masterlist, but this is not for you!

F - Food Play

Ok, this one is very simple: food in the bedroom generally means something in his hand or in your hand that isn't part of the other person. Steve prefers skin-to-skin contact. He likes to be touching you and likes you to be touching him. He doesn't give a shit about food other than providing you with whatever you need or want of it to fuel sexual activities--or life, ya know, because he's very respectful and aware that life is not about sex--just not food during sex. Sorry. It holds no interest for him.

If you want to, cool, but that doesn't enhance anything for him.

Z - Zones

Uh...everywhere?!

But ok, I see what y'all want. Let's break this down, full-body style, starting with extremities.

Steve has a thing with his hands. It's an intimate act to offer love and affection to parts of him that inflict damage and pain. This is something he enjoys about art: good and beautiful things can come from a piece of him used for violence. As far as his feet? This is more of a playful enjoyment, a comfort. Steve doesn't derive sensuality from touching his feet, but he fakes being ticklish so he can act a little childish and playful with you. He likes to be barefoot (as a sign he isn't ready to run), and if his legs are on you, his feet are likely pressed to you as well. Hopefully that makes sense. Steve likes to tuck into your body as much as possible.

Alrighty, LEGS! Take a deep breath, ladies, because Steve gets extremely excited for a sharp grip on his thighs and just a hint of your nails biting his skin while you go down on him. That's not a sign it's too much for you; he takes that as encouragement. He likes when your hands go groping and wandering anywhere while you slowly take him as deep as you can (mouth or pussy), but he is an absolute whore for your enthusiasm. When you act like you can't possibly have enough of him at once, he cannot possibly hold in his own appreciation.

🥴

::takes break to scream into the void::

Onto the arms, head, and chest...right...yeah, so, Nomad's got that gorgeous fucking hair, but do not pull on it--not hard, ok, not a lot. You get far more from Steve by being gentle around his upper body, similar to the hands. He feels devotion and adoration through gentle touch above the belt. He likes the sort of all-encompassing feel of being hugged or slightly smothered by your body on his. If you cage his face in with your arms and hands, if you make the world feel shrunken to just the two of you in that moment, Steve melts. He's a goner for that. He likes your weight on his chest--or face because face-sitting is great--but as much skin-to-skin contact as possible is always welcome.

Steve gets oddly thrilled by you placing his body how you'd like. Other than the hair or beard, he enjoys you tugging at him to maximize your own comfort or pleasure. That's often how he learns what drives you crazy, in good and bad ways.

This brings us to, yes, you guessed it: the ass, cock, and balls.

Ironically, very sensitive and erogenous zones that aren't Steve's favorite. Playfully smack his butt at your own peril; he does NOT like that during sex, gang. Lock your legs around him, fine. Dig in with what would be a bruising grip (to anyone normal), go for it. Nomad does not enjoy any sort of impact play. Choose moments outside of intimacy wisely for that.

Touch-starved Stevie is extremely sensitive to outright sexual contact, so he sorta needs a lot of foreplay, sweetness, and closeness before his actual erection is involved. It's just too fast for him otherwise. Then he feels like he's using you. If there's one thing that will make Steve feel shittier than having to kill people, it's using a woman--especially you--for sex and seemingly nothing else.

Does he eventually stop coming so quickly? Sure. He never wants to leave the room without making you feel taken care of, much less actually leaving the property. That makes him feel guilty and miserable.

BUT!!! Don't fret. When he does have longer nights to stay with you, to go multiple rounds, to let you explore him without fuss, then yeah, he gets very excited to let you tease and stroke him and figure out that Steve just literally cannot keep his shit together if you get your mouth on his balls. Lots of licking and kissing. Some sucking. Oh my god... I mean... Nicest way possible? Slut for it. Just saying.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

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[sadlynojellybeans]

So I am re-reading TOA and i have decided to write some things i noticed now that I know what is going to happen next.

THE HIDDEN ORACLE

Meg was about do develop a crush on Percy, and Apollo noticed. It was immediatly curbed by Percy mentioning his girlfriend. He did not even notice XD

Apollo actually got out of the three legged death race unscathed O.o Scared to death but unharmed

Lester is being surprisingly not pathetic??? I mean, he can't remember shit and has the constutution of a limp noodle, but he has not fainted in several chapters!!! Maybe it's because Camp Half Blood is a relatively safe space for them...

THE FORESHADOWING IN CHAPTER 26 IS DEVASTATING - he gets confirmation it is the emperors behind everything and he thinks "i would have rather tangled with Tartarus or Ouranos or Primordial Chaos" APOLLO PLEASE

Speaking of foreshadowing, Rhea?!??!? "Find your center. Enlightenment has to come from within" HELLO??!?!??

Apollo mentioning he caused an earthquake that wiped out most of Sparta and that he never liked the Spartans much??? What about HYACINTHUS???????

"I busted out some footwork the Nine Muses and I had been working on" please I want so bad to see Apollo dance. Especially Apollo as Lester

Apollo being absolutely convinced that he will never have a proper partner is tragic. "It was not in my destiny" bro

The Germani appear and the absolute first thing Apollo does is move in front of Meg. "Instinctively". This is the same guy that at the beginning of the book was evaluating which demigods would be best to keep on hand to throw at quests. I can't. Just how much exactly did he repress his protective instincts through the years and centuries?

I find so fascinating that Apollo wants to strike Nero down immediately after meeting him. Like, yes. Apollo is a god. And he would not allow anyone to threaten what he cares about. Even after his trials, he might be kinder and more attentive to demigods, but I think that anybody who crosses him (really crosses him) will have to start praying for mercy.

If there is one thing I can say about TOA is that it is certainly expanding my musical horizons, with all the songs I have to check out on youtube just to have an idea of what Apollo is singing about.

He did not suck during the confrontation with Nero?! Burst of godly strength saved the day and his dignity

"Just because she had lied about being my friend did not mean I wasn't hers. She was in danger. I was not going to leave her" man. He cares so fucking much. No wonder he never let anybody get close to him in the last years.

Didn't they say a sonnet was worse than a limerick in the next book?

"BLESS HIS CONNIVING LITTLE HEART". "Children of Hermes cannot rap". "[Cecil] was demoted to dancer" skjsjskansnkzbsnsmmsnzm

It's kind of ... sad? How happy Apollo is when flying on the giant ants. He is used to being a god who can fly whenever he wants, and a part of him is usually in the sky every day as he drives the sun chariot. And instead he has been stranded on earth, away from what is both his duty and something he greatly enjoys. "It felt so good to fly again. [...] For two or three seconds I was exhilarated".

AND THE ARROW OF DODONA IS FINALLY HERE AND TALKING FRIENDS!!!!

I cannot believe I am so happy because of a talking arrow

The arrow QUIVERED kjsnsksjsnsnzjxndnsk i love them so much

Not Apollo asking where Jason Grace is 💀

I genuinely cannot understand if this is foreshadowing or really lucky wording on Riordan's part. Rachel asks about Meg and Apollo thinks "She might as well have plunged the Arrow of Dodona into my chest". RICK. RICK DID YOU KNOW? HAD YOU ALREADY THOUGTH ABOUT THAT SCENE IN TBM OR WAS IT PURE CHANCE????

WE WERE ROBBED. I have been wondering for a few days if in TOA we ever see Apollo sing for fun (not to confuse enemies, not to open doors, not for any practical purpose. Just for the fun of it). The depressing answer seems to be no, although I might have forgotten. At the end of THO it is implied that Apollo, Leo and Calypso join the sing-along at CHB, but the fact that the books end before we actually see him sing is a travesty.