#i cannot say anything complex
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Alors, je ne parle pas le Français, mais j'ai étudié le langue pour cinq années ou plus.
#speak not the english#i typed that without using any translation references#but i had to think about how to say it#i cannot say anything complex#do the french capitalize *french*? I don't think so? but my phone wanted me to 🤷🏻♀️#i tried#may 7 2023
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I loved your drawing(and I love your style in general) with Leia in your recent post! If/when you have time can we see more of her in your style? I get so happy whenever I actually see people mention/talk about her and she’s not just forgotten because we didn’t get to see much of her. 😭
thank you! 💙💙💙 Leia/Leah/Lea/whatever is fascinating to me. she is the ultimate unknown. what was she like? how involved (or even aware of any details of the invasion) was she? Silver's basically a physical carbon copy of his biodad, so what did he get from her? like, I understand why the two of them kind of have to stay as these super vague and mysterious figures -- the whole point of them is that their story ended 400+ years ago and they're not really relevant anymore (and. well. the more that gets explained about them, the less that can just kinda be handwaved as "oh the politics were Very Messy") (we can sit here and theorize all day but let us acknowledge that, ultimately, canon gave us almost nothing about them post-Meleanor and we'd just be making things up). I do still wonder about her though! RIP Lea, we never knew you and we probably never will.
actually you know what, as long as we're here, I think I WILL go ahead and just make some stuff up about what Silver might've inherited from her instead.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#there may be answers somewhere that i just forgot about so uhhh if so#whoops ( ᐛ )#having one of those art days where chances are good i'm just gonna wake up and throw this post out the window so be warned#but yeah idk. i've talked before about the parallels between silver and dawnatello and how i see him as basically bad end silver#he chose the easy option that let him stay loyal and fulfill the obligation he felt to his adoptive family#he knew it wasn't right and that he was being manipulated but he went along with it anyway until it was too late#i think he ultimately had a good heart but my man folded under the slightest bit of social pressure like a wet mcmuffin#so while i'm continuing to make things up out of whole cloth i wanna say that by contrast#lea never had a chance to do shit but if she had i like to think she would've had a spine like galvanized steel#like just personally i don't think she knew much about what the silver owls were actually doing#seriously does henrik seem like the kind of person who would tell her shit about anything#i think he basically took advantage of their dad's failing health to go off and be a warmonger#and if he thought about lea at all it was to be like :) you stay here and do boring domestic princess stuff#while i tell your husband to Do It For Her#i mean this is 100% me writing baseless fanfic here#i just think it'd be fun if the part of silver that was IMMEDIATELY like 'actually no. we aren't doing this.' might've come from her#she just never got a chance to show it#(it didn't seem to come from the knight is all i'm saying)#lilia might've given silver a billion complexes but at least he raised him to do the right thing#man someone left a reply or reblog on an older post and i cannot find it so i apologize for the lack of credit BUT they pointed out#that one of the big differences between silver and the knight is that the knight's family did not really seem to like him very much and lik#yeah i think so. lea might've been the exception there for him.#rip ma'am we'll never know if you deserved better or not
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Maya went on The Internet Is Dead podcast to be interviewed about her relationship with Liam and it's interesting; I recommend it for people who were curious about untangling the details in her book from real life (they talk about this in a number of different places with some detail), people who think she's making everything up, and anyone else sending hostile asks about her- we know she is following the fandom talk and responding to it but I have to say it's very satisfying to listen to her rattle through the exact arguments anons on here are sending around and answer every one of them.
some detail below the cut:
The experience was kind of grating at times; maybe it's just me but I never find it enjoyable to listen to people outside of fandom or casual 1D fans talk about us, and I cringe and bristle literally every time someone says "these people" or "they think", plus the hosts are not super useful; they refer to her tiktoks and book repeatedly without actually giving context for the discussion, like I could do with the occasional "in the book you say…" rather than just chatting about it and leaving us to figure out what they are talking about (they don't even say the name of the book), but whatever. There's interesting stuff in there so it was worth it for me and if you prefer you can just get my highlights, here ya go-
-Her making the point that the media training all of the 1D guys have done from such a young age not only impacts how they talk to the press but also how they talk to people in their lives, the tools it gives them for communicating with (and in this case, manipulating) people was fascinating to me, I hadn't thought about that but I will be in the future with regard to all of them, it's just very interesting to have in mind
-she says she had the book read by lawyers before publishing because it was about someone real and real events, and provided proof for things they asked about
-she points out that she has nothing to gain from making this up, and that as someone who works in a law office and is planning to go to legal school, that the fact that bringing false accusations against someone is illegal would be a huge deterrent to lying
-she says that one of the reasons she initially soft pedaled in terms of outright saying that the book was about Liam was that podcasts and such she went on didn't want her to say it, didn't want the liability, and that when she did say it that part would not get printed or would be edited out (hey speaking of this what are all these interviews she did about the book why am I just now hearing about it... when you guys see stuff like this let me know! I am interested and will maybe recap for you even!)
-she mentions Liam's silence on the whole thing more than once; "if someone wrote that about me and it wasn't true I would not just say nothing!"
-she says that her and Liam went to see After not knowing it was a 1D fanfic and then, after finding that out, he joked that she should write a book about them, and that it was where the seed of the idea came from
#maya henry#I have some complicated thought about her comments on management#some of it is yes! and useful#some of it I just... don't have that much interest in these peoples' takes on modest actually#but some of it about liam and his relationship to his management... I think there's some naivete at work#like yes he can fire them#and also you could have left at the first sign of his bad behavior. sometimes there is more complexity at play in life than that#but overall ofc I do think what she's saying is correct: they are not and cannot force him to do anything and he absolutely could fire#anyone he wanted to#and honestly knowing everything we do its not hard to picture anyone who pushed too hard on him being fired right off#but he is also a mess and I think she (but with much more reason and excuse!) falls into the same trap as fandom which is#painting everyone as either an abuser or a victim. so since he an abuser he cannot also have difficulty asserting agency#and setting boundaries for what is okay for him#when ofc that's not true#so like...some complexity imo#but whatever#liam discourse
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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so yknow how Ford haters have an infinite number and infinite wrongness+depravity of braindead takes right but my favorite has got to be that Ford was more (at all) to blame for their abusive father's actions kicking Stan out because StAn wUz oNLy 18 fORd dID tHAt 2 aN 18 YeAR oLD. I have news for you about Ford his twin the brother who is the exact same age him give or take a few Minutes that brother
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#I cannot believe he'd ever die for these sins he was only freshmen. as in college like I was when you started pickling my brain in acid#*sees Ford's ruptured psyche from distrust/trauma* lol me when I'm guilt-stricken sobbing with my head on the floor#(I didn't do anything this fandom just brought out the guilt complex I've always had from being abused)#''oohhh if u relate to Ford I just Know you're making excuses for some shit'' o shit how did they know. no rly I don't even know what it is#<- these are clearly mature well-adjusted people and everything I know as an autist is wrong so idk what if I internalized what they say#no that's not ''suicidal ideation'' I'm feeling it's Humility like they taught me how :) it's ok they taught me to admit I Deserved it :)#thoughts on The Bullshit
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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thinking about how way to dawn really was like the most iconic keyblade ever that so neatly summarized riku's journey and ideals and had so much meaning and history and so uniquely his and kh3 really threw it away for a fucking car key
#katie rambles#ITS BEEN YEARS I CAN SAY IT RIKU'S NEW KEYBLADE IS DUMB#kh3 did riku incredibly dirty actually on a number of levels#i dont care if there was more s@r!ku evidence they really had no idea what to do with him#they had no idea what to do with anyone who wasn't sora#but with riku especially having such a strong character arc only to pitter out to like.#a touching but ultimately meaningless sacrifice that sora tears up spacetime to undo moments later#and exposition dumps ig#like i can't get behind his new keyblade because it really EXEMPLIFIES all the god damn issues with his handling in 3#idk i was thinking about character design and aesthetics and man. MAN! way to dawn beloved.#way to go kh writers for taking complex and well developed character and making him cardboard#his va also sounded really tired and i cannot blame him riku was so filed down from literally anything that made him interesting#he couldnt even get to wrestle with or flex his cool mentor status as a keyblade master that arc was right there#'katie why are you so upset you just said it's been years' listen.#listen kh was formative media for me (points @ username)#i would not be griping so much more in the tags if i did not invest so much of my love and care into the series#perhaps too much in hindsight#agh. urgh. ough.
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not wangxian though. it's one of the 10% which are actually good
#I was going to write an essay in the tags to justify why they're not klance but I don't actually need to. they're just good characters#with a compelling and fairly unique relationship#YES it has its issues and its cliches and its eye-rolling moments of predictability but#but the way their characters relate to each other and the plot is genuinely really well-thought out#and carefully constructed. lwj is a little underdeveloped#but wwx is a phenomenally complex character. and their storylines and journeys cannot exist#without their intimate relationship and they impact each other on that journey#it's central to the plot even in censored adaptations and it's central thematically with a care that most gaybait of the day isn't#with the exception of like. house. granted something crazy was going on with house#but the fact that they're canon/intentionally written as romantic partners actually does add a lot to their relationship...crazy...#wow I did write a lot huh. well anyway I saw sherlock. I saw voltron. I saw the new star wars. none of those fan couples#have anything interesting or new to say or say it in a unique way either. extremely painfully generic#not wx tho. wx hit so many heights and then kept climbing. numero uno#cor.txt
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carth watching in increasing despair as this random soldier he escaped the endar spire with and who agreed to keeping a "low profile" makes an enemy of tarisian nobility and the local crime lord, loses all their credits in pazaak games, enters a dueling ring with the excuse of regaining the credits but really just wants to blow off some steam, goes to a sith party with the excuse of searching for leads on bastila's whereabouts but really just wants to see how fun the sith are to party with,
#the 'prodigal knight' and 'dreaded sith lord' is also the wildest party-goer in the galaxy babyyyy#the sith are not fun to party with btw. cant hold their liquor and the music choices are mid#this is what ultimately sets liah on the light side path (not really but thats what she tells everyone. half-jokingly.)#also i havent actually lost any credits in pazaak yet. i beat that one guy in the cantina who claims to be the best player around. ha#but like Canonically liah is so bad at pazaak. or maybe its just bad luck. either way she keeps losing but cant stop playing#she simply cannot say no to a challenge. be it card games or duels. i love her#oc: liah#im having a blast w this game but i cant stop thinking abt what it could be if it werent so old n limited by the technology of its time#the quests could have more layers n paths n outcomes......#like what if the sith party was bigger what if you could get absolutely shitfaced n fail to find anything that could help in ur search. lol#instead of just. u walk in to apartment. u briefly talk to guy who invited u. screen fades to black.#everyone except for u is passed out on the floor bc they had too much to drink. u didnt even get a chance to drink.#quest proceeds. loot sith armor for disguise and be on ur merry way. no partying for u.#sigh. kotor remake....... you remain in my dreams........#also disclaimer theres nothing wrong with a game being more linear!!!#not every game has to have the complexities n permutations of modern rpgs!!! sometimes simplicity is better!!!#but im just saying. it would be fun and its fun to think about.#also btw some of the dialogue in this game sounds like its written by a child. its a bit painful at times. but anyway
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actually i think its kinda weird because ive gotten the impression that other people tend to think. like. very linearly? their minds eye is very similar to their physical senses, or it occurs in one direction like the flow of time.
meanwhile to me it's like. i see things as three dimensional objects? even for concepts and things. and seeing all these different parts included within them at once and see how they interact with each other and touch each other and how they touch other related things in compounding ways. like its just. how my line of thought works, that everything is a massive object that i can see all aspects of at once.
which i guess is why i always got tripped up by that one "mentally visualize an apple and tell me which one you see" meme, because as ever im Some Other Third Thing. like its not. sight, really, not sensing like how any other sense works. its just. thinking in a way that conceives every part at once in a way where i can move it around and make it assume different shapes.
i guess in that way id liken it more to a dolphins echolocation? like, sensing the three dimensional structures within and how they connect all at once without needing to take it apart, having all of this layered over itself and altering it like those videos of four dimensional objects, which are not actually being altered at all. its seeing without seeing. its some other sense that i cant use any other senses to describe.
which i guess is also why i think its hard for me to talk about what merfolk cognition is like! just because theyre all like this and most people tend to think of things like theyre reading a book i guess.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#like this is why i go nuts for worldbuilding and spec evo and all that#because i just like. think of all of it at once.#i dont have to wonder about complex systems or interactions because theyre just There#but this also makes. following instructions and being given new information Very Hard#because people will say one ''simple'' thing and i cant understand it#because its not real. its not CONNECTED to anything. it has no presence.#i cannot follow it because its just a flat phrase and not a real thing that exists like all the other real things#if any of this makes sense#like its just. Words#theyre disconnected from the thing i am supposed to actually physically interact WITH
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idk how other ppl learn to read characters but even when someone has very few lines, if they're not a few throwaway lines and have a smidgen of thought put into them, you can really deduct a lot of things from what they say without mountains of dialogue and array of actions they take.
cIaus, even Iucas via his few lines and interactive dialogue, is so easy to understand and learn what hes about from the dialogue you are given. it shouldnt be hard to mess him up
and even tho these are more active characters in the story with goals to achieve and story beats to hit, u rly can apply the same to lngo and 3mmet. u can make assumptions or deduct possible aspects about how they act from breaking down their dialogue and possible routine. some things might be completely speculative and pulled out of thin air but as long as it matches the characters general front its hard to go wrong
#gilly speaks#fanon can have some fun in it and sometimes its where most of ur source material might come from bc theyre not important npcs but#its important to review how they actually act if u wanna create something semi faithful#im not 100% faithful but i think about these things alot#ie i like opposites in how they present themselves vs how they actually are#lngo being viewed as always responsible whilst actually being a bit reckless <- i dont take p0kemas as canon but their event lit#proves this when he wants to get straight into action in the tunnels whilst 3mmet reigns him back in with a reminder about asking#and vice versa when 3mmet takes safety way more seriously than lngo even tho its something they both care for#i have many thoughts abt them#always and forever#another part of my not 100% faithful adaptions is taking their inaction during all bw events#u could say they had to protect the subway and its ppl but honestly...........#they could have taken a stand against ghets1s with the league#the workers are no pushovers they could have handled themselves were anything to happen in n1mbasa#so i see that as them actively protecting the subway and one another above a larger threat in hopes theyd be left alone and that someone#would deal w that problem even if it ends up being a young teenager </3#theyre just normal guys. literally standard guys who dont want to be caught up in world saving shenanigans.#theyre both justice oriented when its to do with the subway directly#otherwise its just not their problem. theyre just some guys!!!!#ignore the strength they wield dw abt it#sorry i cannot be normal abt them theyre very dear to me and them being complex instead of amazing and good guys is so much more fun#theyre not bad!! they barely scrape morally grey bc they ultimately want to do good but sometimes theyre willing to turn a blind eye to#bigger problems in order to protect whats important to them
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O.o
#hiding in the tags#hiding waaaaaaayyyy in the tags#hiding so far in the tags that yall need tk like actually make some popcorn to munch on#ya know for while u wait for me to get to the point?#I don't want anything I'm gonna say to be visible on the dash djdhdkf so hiding in the tag#ok I think I'm good now#n is talking#I made a whole motherfucking server with a shit tonne of motherfucking play channels#that are specifically for people to RP and tease and sext and have fun in#and now I'm needy and wanting and I refuse to use those channels cuz I'm embarrassed xjdkbddj#idk I'm the owner I feel like I should be idk somehow more confident or whatever?#and if I'm in those channels being a giant lee it feels like I'm not doing my job as a 'server owner' even tho it's just a fucking discord#DON'T LISTEN TO ME OKAY XKXHXIXB#God I sound like a reddit mod I promise it's a social anxiety thing not a god complex#anyways I had a specific fantasy earlier today about specific friends and I cannot tell them about it cuz it's EMBARRASSING#I just want attention is that too much to ask? (yes)
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thought about ryoga shindai too much
#no one gets him like i do#do you understand that he grew up being taught to repress his feelings and to distrust people outside the guild and devote himself entirely#to his duty? do you get that he isn't capable of making connections due to his isolation and devotion?#do you get that he's awkward due to it being drilled into him that he must remain stoic and cold?#do you get that him wanting reika not to be a swordsman stems from her being the only solid connection he has in the world and he doesn't#want anything bad to happen to her? do you get that they have codependency issues that were built up as a method of control?#do you understand that ryoga craves kindness? but he cannot say it so openly that he cannot stray completely from his teachings and from th#way he has been brought up? no it is far too complicated and the poison runs deep but he's trying and he's healing and god does he want#reika to be able to heal and live peacefully#she's his sister so he wants her to be safe but she wants him to be safe too bc they're family and they're all each other has had for a lon#time but they are going to branch out and become less dependent and learn what it means to be their own people it's just going to take time#i have a lot of thoughts about this like ik they get watered down to just have complexes but i really feel it's far deeper than that#i also feel ryoga has some biases to reflect upon but that's another story#kr saber lb#kr lb#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts
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i actually cannot read another “meta” post about [redacted]. i don’t think we are thinking before we are speaking
#i cannot and will not engage but know that i am. feeling a type of way#wild that people can outwardly speak up for the extrajudicial killing of very specific groups of people in comics and somehow feel like#it doesn’t reflect on them as people#unbecoming#‘it’s not that real’ it is actually! what a wild way to feel and state as if it’s just something cool to say#and we latch on to this ambiguous protection of children clause that isn’t real and do not consider like. any complexities around this#did we not read the cheer storyline#that spoke about this directly#everyone was so jazzed about that#where’d that go#anywhomst#i am not reading anything that is currently coming out so i am coming from a whole other place here#but i honest to god doubt that matters with the made up subject matter folks are pulling from here#i needed to Rant About It#rant over thank you for coming to my tedtalk#:]#flynn.txt
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