#but he is also a mess and I think she (but with much more reason and excuse!) falls into the same trap as fandom which is

[zepskies]

I feel like we have no choice but to write angst with this character! loll (God how I love that Amber x Mark gif 🤣)

Ahhh thanks, Wayne!! 🥹 I told you, the first thing I saw when Michelle gave me that color palette prompt was "seasons." The colors were just perfect for it, so I thought the dividers were a simple way to capture that 💗

Her answer took me tf out! Loved her bold sass 😏🔥

Ehehe that's the line where I found the character tbh. 😂 Mark needs to be with someone who can keep even him on his toes!

Oh, interesting! Also ballsy of Mark to date his boss’ daughter. Let’s hope he doesn’t screw it up 🤞🙈

Right?! lmfao I figured if anyone was gonna, it'd be Mark 😂😂

I’m getting a queasy feeling in my stomach… I genuinely already love them! Their little beach day in Santa Cruz was so cute 🥹 (and my love for Cali is never ending, too) But my heart hurts so much because I think I can guess where this is going. WHY ALEX 😫

Aww yay!! 🥹 This is why I also loved getting your request and Michelle's at the same time, because I saw how this one could later connect to "Hits Different" when I looked up the lyrics 🥲☀️

Poor reader! Hard enough when a parent is dying, but even worse when you have to watch them go 🥺 (And so close to the wedding as well! Truly can understand her pain that her father didn’t get to walk her down the aisle anymore 😭)

Ugh, exactly, on both counts! 😓 And of course it's just fuel on the fire for Mark's later reluctance to tell her about his diagnosis.

(Her father's death is actually based on how my grandfather passed away in December. 💙 He was a smoker for 30 years, quit for 40, but it still unfortunately caught up to him in his 80s.)

(I had to lmao)

Bahaha winter is definitely coming! 🤣 Jon Snow = perfection

Men… lol We’ve had this discussion before with your headcanons about men and doctors/being sick. I think we can add Mark to that list 😂

omfg yeah!! 🤣🤣 Mark would literally be the reigning king of medical man denial. And that reminds me, I'm gonna have to add Mark to the HC lineup soon! 🤭

Dear God, the sister’s already a lot 🙈 You better ain’t trying to impress your sister’s fiancé, girl…

Ahaha thank you for catching that hint! She's trying to impress somebody all right 😅

The fact her father died just months before from cancer just adds such a nice and angsty layer to this whole story. Of course Mark wouldn’t want her to go through that again after he’d witnessed how the sickness and death of her father affected her. And I do understand where he’s coming from when he essentially doesn’t want to tie her to a “dead man walking,” but man, does it break my heart. It’s such a hard situation for both. Ultimately, he should’ve involved her in the decision, though. The choice should be hers if she can handle it or not, if she wants out etc.

Aw thank you! 🥲 I was trying to think of added reasons why Mark wouldn't want to tell her, and this to me felt the most impactful, especially because her dad was Mark's boss, and in my head, his mentor too. 💔

And so agree -- he should've just talked to her, even if it was probably going to be one of the most difficult conversations of their entire relationship.

Jesus fucking Christ, that makes it even sadder and more messed up 😭 (I do love your brain for this masterpiece of cruelty)

Ehehe sorryyyyyyy. 🤭 But see? He wanted to have The Talk with her, he just never got there 🥲

But man, the fact he legit was so drunk that he stumbled into the wrong room and was basically taken advantage of in this state by her sister?! I hope the bitch burns in hell, seriously 😅

Ughhhh you and me both. As you saw in Part 2, Rachel deserves every bit of the hellfire lmao

It’s been my headcanon as well that he probably cheated on Melinda with Rachel to give her an “easy out” after finding out his diagnosis, but in my opinion, it’s even worse than actually cheating on her because he’s a stupid, selfish ass because it would’ve meant he never really love her to begin with. But doing that shit to someone you genuinely love is messed up 🙈

This was my initial instinct too for Melinda and Rachel, and while it's very plausible, it doesn't make Mark sympathetic for that exact reason. If he was going to marry a girl he didn't love enough to simply tell the truth and not cheat on her right before the effing wedding, then he's a POS for that. I really hope it comes out that he fibbed to Amber about that.

And since you've already read Catastrophic Blues (tysm 🥹 - can't wait to get into your lovely amazing feedback) I'll tell you this part:

Even in this story I debated going that exact route, having Rachel and Mark actually sleep together to create that "out" (or he just lets her do "something" sexual to him lol). But in the end I felt that no, if he truly loved the reader he would've put a stop to Rachel's advances the best he could, even while drunk. 💔

But I love how you took that mini plot line and put your own spin on it. Especially for this story, I prefer Mark accidentally stumbling into Rachel’s room, and Rachel taking advantage of him. If he’d done it on purpose to “free” reader, I would’ve murdered him. After losing their father, it would’ve been so cruel of him to tear their family apart in the wake of it, so I’m glad you went a different way here. Not sure I could’ve forgiven the other thing 🫣

Exactly, I wouldn't have forgiven him either if it was intentional 😭😭

And it's an unfortunate truth that there are girls like Rachel out there: immature, selfish, jealous, entitled, even downright hateful. So I wanted to explore the thing of, there are of course predatory men out there, but there are also predatory women. Sometimes the ones that should love you the most are the ones who hurt you the most 😭

Can’t wait to jump straight into Part 2! I can totally see the song fitting for the aftermath of this 😎💜💜💜

🥹🙏🏽💗 When I tell you I got SO much inspo from "Hits Different," like immediately lol. And *gasp* I also ended up liking "Snow on the Beach" from the same album! 🤭 I also liked "Lavender Haze."

Count me as Swiftie Curious, I guess?

DOWNGRADE

Pairing: Mark Meachum x F. Reader

Summary: There it was. The beginning of the end, and neither of you saw it coming.

AN: Ahhh here we go! For the first time ever, Mark Meachum! Obviously I’m still learning this guy as a character, but this idea grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go. Thanks so much, @luci-in-trenchcoats for choosing this color prompt for the 5K Follower Celebration!

Word Count: 1.2K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Fluff, implied smut, and rom-com vibes, until the angst sets in (lol). Medical diagnoses, implied cheating

Spring

Mark set two mugs of coffee on his nightstand to free up his hands. He had to cut wide swaths through the bedsheets to reach you. As usual, you were a tangle of limbs and frizzy hair.

“Jesus, what’d you do here, woman?” he said, lips tugging at a smile when he heard your muffled giggle.

Eventually he unearthed your head and found your sleepy smile. You squinted at the sun glaring through the window behind him. It backlit that look of fond amusement on his face.

You clawed half-blind at the front of his shirt and pulled him down to you. He lost his footing and grunted as he fell, just barely catching himself from crushing you. Your laugh rang in his ear and forced a chest-shaking rumble out of him too.

You freed your own arms from the warm nest you created, just to take his face in your hands. Your thumbs caressed along the coarse edges of his beard.

“Getting scraggly, baby,” you remarked.

“Yeah, but you like your man all wild and caveman-like,” he said mischievously.

You shook your head, but you still couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

“Only when he fucks me,” you said. A cheeky challenge in your eyes.

Mark’s brows popped high, his devilish grin showing teeth. It didn’t matter how long you’d been his, you still managed to keep him on the ropes.

“Well, he does aim to please.”

Summer

The sound of your laugh was like sweltering sunshine in his chest. After the wave finished dunking you both, you swept the salty sting of the ocean out of your eyes and clung to his shoulders in the water.

Santa Cruz agreed with you. It shone down on your glistening skin and caught in your eyes. You both needed this—taking a beat, just the two of you.

Finally, Mark had allowed himself to take some time off. He was reluctant at first, workhorse that he was. But the Captain—your father—insisted that Mark take a break. Wrapping up a triple homicide after four months of legwork, getting to see that motherfucker be denied bail until trial, and giving the victims’ families a sense of relief that the killer was off the streets was a decided win.

“You’ve got someone waiting for you,” the Captain reminded him. “Don’t take that for granted.”

Mark grabbed your left hand and pressed a kiss into your palm. He felt the coolness of metal against his lips. It reminded him to turn your hand over.

“Whoa!” He closed his eyes and playfully looked away as if he was being blinded. “Who gave you that fucking rock?”

The summer sun glinted off a modest stone. Your sister told him not to overthink it. Just get the classic square cut. But his instincts told him to go with something called a “cushion,” like the sales lady said at Jared’s.

Mark knew he made the right choice when you gasped, covering your mouth with shaky hands, your eyes filling with tears when you met his slightly nervous ones.

Now, you just laughed in his face. “Oh, nobody really. Just the love of my life.”

His smile quirked, even though his heart was double-timing.

“You’re so fuckin’ cheesy.”

“But you love it, though.”

(That day, you both spent an extra hour looking for the ring when it somehow slipped off your finger and fell into the sand.)

Fall

“I’m just saying, sweetheart,” Mark said, his tone deep and gentle while he steadied you in his arms. “Maybe it’s best we put off the wedding, just a few months. It’s a lot coming at you right now.”

You shook your head, covering your mouth with trembling fingers.

“No,” you said eventually, but your words faltered along with your unsteady breaths in between. “No, he wouldn’t have wanted that. I just wish he, uh…could be there.”

You were a pillar of a woman, but no one could fault you for falling apart. Your father had been a lifelong smoker. He quit ten years ago, but it still caught up to him in his sixties, a severe case of COPD that he’d been trying to hide for months. It eventually withered him down to weeks of degeneration in a hospital bed, relying on oxygen masks that could no longer sustain him.

Your mother and sister had left the room for just half an hour to grab some coffee. You stayed behind.

You were alone with your father when he died. All you could do was hold his hand.

Now, all Mark could do was hold you. But he had to blink past a sharp pain, almost like a sudden migraine. Aftershocks reverberated through his skull, radiating from the right to the left.

He’d been dealing with less intense versions of the feeling for a month, but this time, it was like a small shiv between the eyes. It took him enough by surprise that it forced a grunt out of him, making him grimace and blink hard.

You picked your head up from his chest and met him with tearful eyes, frowning in concern.

“You okay?” you asked.

“Yeah,” Mark said. “Just a little headache.”

Winter

“Mark, you need to go to the doctor. You’ve gone through three bottles of Advil. That’s not normal.”

“Look, I told you already. I’m fine.”

“Yeah. That’s really convincing.”

“…Look, that’s Rachel pulling up. You ready to go?”

 You looked out the windows near the front door and saw your sister walking up the driveway. You blinked, like you both could and couldn't believe what you were seeing.

“Wow," you said. "She couldn’t have found a skimpier dress to check out the church. Who’s she trying to impress? The pastor’s already married.”

Mark snorted in amusement, but something soon occurred to him.

“Didn’t you tell me she and her boyfriend just broke up or something?”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with it?”

He shrugged. “Eh, I don’t know. She’s probably just looking for attention.”

You sighed. You loved your younger sister, but there were times when you wished she’d just grow up a little.

One appointment with Mark’s primary doctor led him to the oncologist. His entire inner world was leveled with just two words:

Glioblastoma Multiforme.

Two words he couldn’t say to you.

It all rang between his ears…

The excitement in your voice when you told him how your last fitting went for the dress.

Faces he’d put behind bars. Years he’d scraped and clawed his way through bureaucratic bullshit, standing his ground against officers with more power than him, but never as much heart.

Your raw, broken grief when you watched your father waste away from the absolute monument of a man he’d been.

How was Mark supposed to level your world too?

He kept it all inside. And like the master of improv he was, he faked enthusiasm for a joint bachelor-bachelorette weekend.

One late night. One fifth of whiskey at the hotel bar turned into numbers he stopped counting—until the Captain reminded him.

You’ve got someone waiting for you. Don’t take that for granted.

He needed to find you.

Somehow, he made it to the elevator by himself. Third floor. Room 304, 305, 306. Fuck. Was it 309?

The door opened, and his addled fucking brain thought it was you at first. She almost had your eyes, if just half the sincerity of your smile.

Rachel welcomed him in and shut the door. He stumbled at the threshold, and she stopped him from falling completely onto the floral-patterned carpet.

“Oh my God, Mark. You okay?”

No. And he knew he wasn’t ever gonna be okay.

But her hands were warm, carving sensuous paths under his leather jacket without him realizing.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

AN: 🫣 I know, I know - I'm sorry it's not my usual happy ending. 💔 But! I am working on a second part to this for @waynes-multiverse, who also requested Mark Meachum for the 5K Celebration...though that one's gonna be even angstier than this one loll 😅 (but maaaybe with a kind of happy ending?)

In the meantime, what did you think of this drabble? Don't you wish we could've stayed in Summer? ❤️‍🩹

Read Part 2: Catastrophic Blues

Summary: Nine months isn’t as long as it sounds. When you run into your ex-fiancé at a bar, he finds out what you've become. You find out the truth.

⋆˙⟡ Get notified when every new story drops! Add yourself to my Tag Lists ⟡ Follow my fic library blog - @zepskieswrites - with notifications on. ❤️

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Mark Meachum Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

I haven't built out the Mark Meachum tag list just yet, but he's now available on my Tag List form, for anyone who wants to add themselves.

For this post, I'll just include the Dean Winchester tag list and some others who I think are interested in Mark Meachum. Next round, I'll only tag people who want in on the tag list.

@lamentationsofalonelypotato @winchestergirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl @globetrotter28

@midnightmadwoman @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @waywardxwords @twinkleinadiamondsky

@rizlowwritessortof @k-slla @jackles010378 @alwaystiredandconfused @nancymcl

@this-is-me19 @spnwoman @illicithallways @pieandmonsters @deansbbyx

@stoneyggirl2 @cheynovak @jollyhunter @deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog

@leigh70 @aylacavebear @jessjad @kmc1989 @siampie

@masked-lost-girl @spnbabe67 @deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused @supernotnatural2005

@impala-dreamer @spnaquakindgdom @my-stories-vault @0ccvltism @bettystonewell

@bleuatlas @podiumackles @samslvrgirl

[thinkingotherwise]

Okay so hello I'm new here and the first fanfic I read was your "Summer time" And I absolutely got hooked!

Okay so I'm From the Philippines please to meet you

Can I request you a Bofurin and shishitoren x F reader (character are the same from your fanfic "summertime")Who's from the Philippines but moved to Japan when she was in middle school and is in a all girls school

Reader is known as the "top student" In here school always passing her test and exam and maintain a good grades She's also known for her Three Language knowledge (Filipino, French and Spanish she's half Japan so she already knows) The main reason for her knowledge about those languages is funny French because she thinks it's romantic while Spanish because she can curse out loud without anyone knowing what it means

So reader randomly would say sweet things in either French or Spanish like " Tu es beau mon amour (You look handsome my love) or Te amo ¿lo sabías? (I love you you know that?) Bonus she would sometimes speak Filipino as well

And the characters would get confused and reader likes it and if they ask she would shrug which lead them to finding out those meanings and once they found out they are Completely Smitten and Once again fall for her again

That's all hope it isn't too much

I'm so sorry that it took so long to write it. All because I had writer's block for Wind Breaker fics, and I tried to move to other series, and then I took a break before coming back to writing for the Bofurin boys.

WB characters x Trilingual! FIlipino! reader

Romantic - French - calling him sweet things in French, and he loves it and melts while hearing it, even if he sometimes doesn't want to show it in front of others. (Tu es si beau mon amour.) - asks you to teach him some endearments so he can call you that, and then calls you that in front of others, making them wide-eyed while he shows off (mon cœur / mon trésor)

Uryu Sakaki would melt, hugging you tightly while you spoke to him in French, he wouldn't let you go, keeping you close and nuzzling into your neck to hear better what you said

Jo Togame, he loved it when you read to him while playing with his hair or when he was playing online shogi, he found that listening to you speak different languages helped him relax and play better

Yukinari Arima, he surprises you by sending you memes and sweet photos in French, saying 'this us', he doesn't know what half of them mean, thinking the photo should be enough to understand - no it isn't

Teruomi Inugami loves compliments and your cute accent, and makes sure you know about anything he did that he thinks deserves praise, just to hear you acknowledging all his accomplishments

Kota Sako loves your accents as much as French sweets, making you repeat the names and even giving you a cute nickname based on one of the pastries

Hayato Suou would learn French secretly, not only to understand your sweet words, but also to search for weird slang to confuse you

Haruka Sakura would be a blushing mess the moment you spoke to him in French, thinking it sounded really nice, not to mention when you call him endearments in the language, he would argue and say he hates it - he would be so lying

Cussing out - Spanish - when he heard you cussing out in Spanish for the first time, he was confused and thought you were saying gibberish - next few times he heard you, he recognized that there were some words he had already heard you say (come mierda / hijo de puta) - you tell him all about how you prefer to curse in Spanish because it has more impact than Japanese curses - he tries to use some words he heard and completely mispronounces them, making you laugh, and then teach him as he repeats them

Mitsuki Kiryu would cuss out people he played with in Spanish, proudly showing how quickly he learnt the words

Choji Tomiyama, he was mispronouncing the curses he heard you yelling during fights, and when you heard him, you laughed joyfully, before deciding to correct him, telling him how to say it properly, he then continued to yell out, this time even more confidently

Toma Hiiragi was shocked to hear you cuss out in some weird words, only later recognizing it as Spanish, hearing them fall out of your mouth so many times, he caught some of them and unconsciously started using them

Seiryu Sakaki, he likes to irritate you, repeating after you and butchering Spanish words, only to surprise you and call you his cute idiot in Spanish

Minoru Kanuma sends you pictures with Spanish text over clothes and then surprises you with two shirts with funny texts/curses he heard from you, making you wear one, while he has the other one

Tasuku Tsubakino would use your knowledge to tell them all about music and songs they want to pick for their dancing, and when they started singing one of the songs, you had to make sure they knew the kinda vulgar words they sang

Kyotaro Sugishita, after many times of listening to you he would actually learn the words, but only to know if something disturbed you, then he would come to you and ask what was wrong, ready to help you get rid of whatever caused you to cuss

Family - Filipino - he hears your call with your family and how you speak with your parents, and is very curious and listens to you carefully - first meeting with your family, and when you introduce him your parents are surprisingly taken by him, despite you both being nervous - they immediately take him in as their new son

Takeshi Enomoto would be scared to meet your family, because of his rugged looks, but is shocked by how kind they were and how your mother told him to call her mom the second he stepped into the living room

Yuto Kusumi, your parents are surprisingly adoring of his outfits, the comfy sweaters and cardigans, saying how much they like it and calling him endearments in Filipino

Taiga Tsugeura, your parents love him so much, he always asks if they need help, and they coo at him, saying how good of a son he would be for them and for you to keep him

Akihiko Nirei, they adopted him as their own the moment they saw him, he looked just so adorable, they would easily take his side whenever you have a disagreement

Ren Kaji, he was nervous and worried he would blow up at them, but they easily understood him and even made sure there was some music playing in the background whenever he came over

Hajime Umemiya, they taught him how to call them in Filipino, and he happily did so, he was so helpful and kind, they joked they would exchange you for him whenever you irritated them, they even started saying that Ume doesn't deserve you - of course, playfully

[mymarifae]

i am so intrigued by this idea that the data fluctuations triggered each time amphoreus resets can affect and influence real people, too. and that's the entire reason why screwllum had to give stelle the chronocognitive anchor. without it, she would risk losing herself and become further embedded in amphoreus's code

it really changes the game here. because now we have to seriously ask ourselves, is everyone on amphoreus honestly just a simulation? a mere bundle of code? cyrene's dialogue in the remembrance space certainly suggests otherwise

(it also appears to suggest that outsiders are actively LURED into amphoreus. which begs another question: by what?)

now i seriously doubt that lygus would miss even one outsider wandering into amphoreus, but it's interesting to go through his data logs and see just how many variables he straight up loses. he has no clue where march 7th or dan heng are, but even more interestingly he has no idea where cyrene is. as far as we know, she's a genuine product of the simulation and he can't keep track of her? well damn i'm starting to think he has much less control over this thing than he wants us to believe

how many times has someone been (again i cannot put enough emphasis onto this particular word choice) lured into amphoreus, and while lygus jots down a note of their entry, another reset or two or three or Forty inevitably rolls around and he just... loses them. the data fluctuations hit, they're changed, they're buried deeper into the mess of amphoreus, and soon enough it seems like they just belong there. a naturally-occurring new product of the simulation as the scepter continues to learn and grow and adjust. after a certain point, how would you be able to tell the difference, truly?

or if you COULD, would it even be worth documenting a million cycles later...? they may as well be just another bundle of code, after all. they can't leave - they're too deeply ensnared now. and the chances of the average person being able to regain their consciousness and find who they used to be, dismantling the truth of amphoreus enough to start truly breaking shit, amidst the MILLIONSSSSS of constant resets... quite slim, honestly!

(because remember that pathstriders are not anything particularly special. in this universe, it's a very average thing to be. like really it just means you are a person with strong convictions and maybe a little fantasy powers now)

i'm just not fully buying into the idea we'll bid goodbye to all the chrysos heirs once the amphoreus simulation (probably) shuts down and that'll be that. the majority of them are certainly simulations, but there has to be a little something more going on here. unless the writers have immediately forgotten what cyrene said, or she was making shit up (???), or she was literally only referring to dan heng and stelle (unlikely, because they intruded on amphoreus in an entirely different manner than march did)

but even if this line of thought ends up not going anywhere we'll still get to see exactly what happens if you're in amphoreus during a reset and you don't have a chronocognitive anchor handy. with dan heng and march. and that will be fun (i'm scared)

[demigod-shenanigans]

I appreciate you taking the time to ramble so much, especially knowing PJO is far from your main fandom at the moment. It means a lot that you still care about this fic. Also, despite you saying you won’t have as much to say, this is actually the most detailed comment I’ve gotten on this chapter :)

I’ve had a pretty miserable day (I had an exam and there’s a pretty decent chance I might not even get a passing grade and have to retake said awful exam, which is unfun) and this comment has been a very appreciated bright spot.

-With the way the scene is written I could never figure out if Leo is actually in pain while he’s dead (I hope being in pain while you’re dead is not a thing, that would suck massively) or if that’s actually the start of him getting resurrected and it sucks so bad specifically due to the way he died (kind of like someone with severe burns slowly waking up/coming out of anesthesia?). Either way, yeah, he’s definitely uncomfortably familiar with painful deaths and thinking about Jason being alone and in pain the way he was… very much not fun for Leo. At least he’d never consider Jason ending up in the fields of punishment an option like he apparently did for himself 😬

-I honestly cannot blame people too much regardless of which way they write Caleo because their canon writing is just… all over the place and not even in a fun way. Personally, I kind of love the messy train wreck angle of leaning into all the ways they just don’t work but making it about them being a bad fit rather than either of them being bad people. They’re both traumatized kids trying their best given the circumstances but the circumstances do not do them any favors and they’re just a terrible fit even outside of these specific circumstances. Sometimes you meet exactly the wrong person at exactly the wrong time and you want to love each other so bad but holy shit are your attempts at it just making it worse for both of you. I went into this more in chapter four (which is the only chapter or the fic Calypso has any sort of major role with) and actually had a lot of fun with it.

They’re awful together, and if they’d been written messy intentionally in the books and that had been addressed, it could have been really interesting to explore, but instead they’re a toxic mess couple that’s constantly fighting and don’t seem to even like each other half the time and also for some reason this is all Leo’s fault for being sexist despite the fact that Calypso is downright mean to Leo several times. It made me want to chew drywall.

Anyway, Leo is grieving and Calypso is not coping with the whole situation of being left behind again well and neither of them are terrible people for it. They’re just human. (Also yeah Lester being the narrator did not do Leo or Calypso any favor in Dark Prophecy LOL. I still wish we’d gotten a split POV for ToA to give some extra nuance to these situations we only get an—at times relatively disinterested—outside perspective on.)

Anyway, I’m rambling, but I’m glad the way I handled them worked for you so far :D

-I always have so much fun with Leo being the only one of them who can cook. And Piper, menace that she is, is just gonna eat whatever looks tasty to her, food groups be damned LMAO

-Leo is just generally super respectful re: food preferences, but I also think in this situation specifically he only made veggie toppings because he knows Piper doesn’t love the smell of cooked meat (she tolerates it and won’t say anything about it but he knows her well enough that he can tell).

-I make no promises re: the crying in future chapters haha. Some of them are pretty sad (not all of them though, I promise)

This is most definitely the longest I’ve worked on a fic without posting it since I first started posting my fics at all, and it still doesn’t feel entirely real that I finished it. My relationship with it pingpongs at times (like it does with my writing in general) but it is the biggest project I’ve finished in ages and that is pretty cool.

Again, thanks for taking the time to read and comment, it’s immensely appreciated <3

The choiceless hope in grief (chapter 2)

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, and by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 2: ~6k

Rating: Teen and Up

< Prev | Next >

General notes for this chapter: -More grief/self-loathing themes. Not sure if I’ll be warning for those for each chapter individually since they’re quire relevant to the overall fic, but it’s been a minute, so I thought the reminder probably couldn’t hurt. (It having been a hot minute since I posted the first chapter is also the reason why I put the fic summary here again, I won’t do that for every chapter) -This does also go into the demigod deaths from Tyrant’s Tomb (at least a little bit). The death toll in that book is huge and I honestly found it really upsetting. I’m aware the Hunters don’t canonically stay behind to help rebuild but this is my fic and I can do what I want <3

-For my sanity and yours, we’re suspending our disbelief and taking the fact that Calypso is mentally sixteen in canon at face value. Her and Leo have a variety of problems, and, as should be clear by the premise of this fic, they’re not gonna last, but please note that I will be treating them both as traumatized teenagers.

———

Chapter 2: Piper tries to make burritos unsupervised

The first Iris Message came through on the ninth of April, barely ten minutes after breakfast. Piper’s dad was already at work, which at least meant they thankfully didn’t have to explain why there was a floating rainbow that had people’s faces in it chilling in the middle of the living room.

It was Thalia and Reyna. 

Leo hadn’t even realized they knew each other, but apparently the Hunters of Artemis—Diana, whatever—had come to Camp Jupiter’s aid. This should have been a relief, but there was no relief to be found in Reyna’s expression. The only flicker of joy he saw on her face was when she told them she’d be joining the Hunters.

It wasn’t the kind of decision Leo had expected from Reyna. Then again, she barely looked like the same girl that had shown Leo around New Rome with a proud smile, eagerly listening to and expanding on Leo’s ideas for fortifications and long-range weaponry. Had it really only been a few weeks since then? It felt like a lifetime ago now.

There was still that same grim set to Reyna’s jaw, but her usual proud posture looked more like she was… well, posturing, for lack of a better word. And the expression on her face… 

Leo knew that expression. He had seen it in the mirror many times as a child, and again in the last few weeks. It was the expression of someone who’d seen their home get burnt down to the foundations and found themself sitting in the wreckage.

He knew the kind of news they were getting even before Reyna started telling them what had happened.

Thalia was easier to look at—Thalia, whose grief was all fury, small bolts of electricity dancing through her dark hair like she was the human embodiment of a storm cloud.

At that moment, she looked nothing like Jason. It was such a relief that Leo almost cried.

They’d won the battle against the emperors, but Reyna called it a Pyrrhic victory—one that was so disastrous for the victors that it was basically indistinguishable from a defeat.

New Rome was in ruins. So many had been wounded. Even more people were dead.

Leo felt sick to his stomach. He’d known some of these demigods. Not well, admittedly, but he’d fought side by side with them. The thought that so many lives had been cut short, and that none of the gods had bothered to interfere for the longest time, despite the fact that it was their kids down there, made him want to punch something. 

Knowing that at least some of them had probably been friends with Jason in the life he’d never properly remembered, and how desperately Jason had always tried to protect everyone when the gods couldn’t be bothered to… 

Leo clenched his trembling fists, flames dancing in his curls and licking at his arms, all the way up to his elbows.

He needed to go outside and cool down for a bit to avoid lighting Piper’s bedroom on fire by accident.

~~~~ They were talking about Jason’s funeral when he got back. Thalia hadn’t been able to make it, which felt like a punch to the gut. She hadn’t found out he’d died until after it was already over. Percy and Annabeth still didn’t know, and Reyna wasn’t sure about Nico.

And there was the regret Leo had been so terribly afraid of feeling. He didn’t regret keeping Piper safe, especially not after hearing just how hard-won the ensuing battle had been. She was sitting here, next to him, alive, and nothing would ever make him regret that. It wasn’t even that he suddenly thought attending the funeral would have brought him any closure. How the fuck could there ever be closure for something like this?

But the thought of Jason, who’d been abandoned by both of his parents and had his memory wiped by his patron—whose camp had barely looked for him after he’d gone missing—going into death alone, surrounded mostly by strangers who had only known the person he’d been before he’d lost his memories, if that, made Leo feel sick to the stomach. 

It didn’t matter that he knew Jason would have cared more about them being safe than he would have about them attending the funeral. It felt like failing him all over again.

“I ditched you both in life, and now he’s gone, and I couldn’t even bother to be there for him, then.”

His eyes were swimming again. Piper wrapped her arms around him wordlessly. 

Reyna—serious, stoic, collected Reyna—had an expression on her face like she wanted to reach through the Iris Message and pat his head.

“I held some private rites for him,” Thalia said gently. It wasn’t worded as a suggestion, but the meaning was clear anyway. “I’ve also spent a lot of extra time shooting arrows at stuff lately. It helps, if only a little.”

“The only thing I could shoot here is Leo, and he hasn’t annoyed me that much yet,” Piper commented, so Leo promptly kicked her in the shin. “Ow! Actually, keep it up and I might use you for target practice, after all.”

“You can’t. I still owe Thalia hot sauce.”

It was such an absurd statement that even Reyna almost cracked a smile. “Yeah, I’m going to need context on that one.”

~~~~

Two hours later, a rainbow image of Frank and Hazel popped up. The worst part of that conversation was them asking how exactly it had happened, because apparently Apollo had performed a song about it, which had been emotional but not super clear on the details. Piper struggled to tell the story again, and she was reassured several times that she didn’t have to, but she pushed through. The only slight comfort was that Jason would have been dead right away—hopefully he hadn’t been in pain for long.

The second worst part of the conversation was way more mundane: Frank asking what their plans were going forward. 

Leo didn’t think there would be much going forward for him, just in general. In his mind, he’d been planning on staying in this reprieve forever—playing video games and getting lost in the woods with Piper as they continued to pointedly ignore the emptiness of the third chair at their little table.

Jason’s face kept popping up in his dreams, but the days were mostly bearable as long as he was here with Piper.

But then Piper talked about school, and the classes she was planning to take, and the possibility of college somewhere in the area. She talked about her dad and camping and maybe getting a job to help out.

Things that a person with a normal life would have done.

And, okay, maybe a part of Leo had realized that his idea of the future wasn’t exactly realistic. He also realized he couldn’t stay 

there forever. He didn’t want to be a burden on Piper and Tristan. He knew how long Piper had been wanting to properly spend time with her dad, and now she actually had the chance to, and here Leo was, inserting himself right into the middle of their already complicated father-daughter-relationship. He wasn’t supposed to be here, messing this up for her.

As much as he disliked thinking about this, he couldn’t keep ignoring that particular part of reality. He’d already spent too much of his life in homes where he wasn’t wanted. He couldn’t stand the thought of bothering Piper so much that she started feeling that way about him, too.

As good as it felt to see Hazel and Frank, a part of Leo was relieved when they ended that call. The even more horrible, selfish part of him was also glad Hazel had promised to be the one who told Nico. Leo didn’t know him that well, but he knew Nico didn’t have many friends and that he’d already lost too much. That particular breakdown Leo felt like he was in no way equipped to handle. He could hardly even deal with himself right now.

The calls didn’t stop. 

Piper’s siblings called, asking how she was and what had happened, and so they had to tell the story again, tearing off the scab and making their wounds bleed all over the place. 

Then, like everything else wasn’t bad enough, Leo got an IM from a very anxious Harley, who seemed relieved he was alive and asked when he was coming back to camp. 

“Don’t know yet,” Leo said, forcing a smile. “Probably not for a while. I’ll call you, though. I promise.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell his kid brother that he wasn’t sure he was ever coming back—that even thinking about stepping into this place that was brimming with memories of Jason made him feel sick to the stomach.

Leo supposed he couldn’t blame Reyna for wanting to leave behind a city full of ghosts when he couldn’t even handle one of them.

~~~~

Shel invited Piper out for coffee two days later. Via letter, of all things, because obviously Piper hadn’t had a phone number to give her but Shel apparently wouldn’t let that stop her.

“You falling out of a tree really did it for her, hm?” Leo teased, trying to read the letter over Piper’s shoulder. 

“Har. Har. Har.”

“Hey, you were the one who said you liked me being supportive and annoying.” He nudged her. “Come on, what’s it say?”

“Like I told you, she just asked me to grab coffee with her.” She folded the letter before he could get a proper look at it, but Leo knew it had way too much text to just be that. 

“Liar.”

“Okay, okay.” Piper held up her hands defensively. “She really did just ask, but she might have done it with a poem.”

“Damn.” Leo raised his eyebrows. “You think she’s picked out engagement rings yet?”

“Shut up.”

“I will refer back to your comment about liking that I’m supportive and annoying again! You’ll never get me to shut my mouth now. Besides, I did promise to make you regret saying you missed me,” he teased her. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

Piper snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Shel’s picking me up in an hour. Are you sure you’ll be alright here on your own?” 

It was clear that she was reluctant to leave him, especially since her dad was at work. 

Truthfully, Leo wasn’t super thrilled about the thought of being alone, either. But it was clear that Piper wanted to do this, and that was more important than him not wanting to be alone for a few hours.

He could totally do this. He’d spent a pretty large chunk of his life alone. He had plenty of experience keeping himself busy.

“I’ve third-wheeled on enough of your dates for one lifetime, thanks,” Leo informed her, still grinning. “Besides, I should probably call my own girlfriend. That’ll be a lot less awkward without you being around to give me shit.”

Because contacting Calypso may have barely crossed his mind in the past few weeks due to him being both a garbage boyfriend and a garbage person just in general, but at least in theory, they were still dating.

Piper stuck her tongue out at him, and he just hoped his laugh wasn’t too obviously fake.

“For the record, though, this won’t be a date,” Piper said determinedly. “I’m not- I don’t think that would be fair to Shel. Not when I still have so much to figure out, and not when I’m still dealing with… you know.”

“For the record, I don’t think Jason would be the type to show up and haunt his ex during dates. If he does, let me know, because then I might have to unfriend him post-mortem.”

He knew Piper didn’t love when he made these kinds of jokes, but she never told him to stop. Humor had always been how he coped. Piper got that.

“Leo.” Piper groaned, exasperated. “Be serious for a second, yeah?”

“Oh, I’m super serious. Possessive ghost exes are a total friendship dealbreaker for me.” Leo nudged her again. “As the resident expert on constantly getting rejected, maybe don’t take my advice on this, but I don’t think there’s a timeline for these things. It’s okay if you find her cute. I think he’d want you to be happy. That’s the kind of awful sap he is.”

Leo realized he’d slipped into present tense again, but he didn’t have it in him to correct himself. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I do find her cute. I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship at the moment.”

“That’s fair.” Leo shrugged. “If I don’t get to be best man at your wedding, I’ll be really pissed, though.”

Piper stepped on his foot, so he kicked her in the leg and a moment later, they were swatting each other with pillows like they were little kids. Piper was actually laughing. For the first time in weeks, she seemed genuinely excited about something. And Leo wanted her to be happy. He was glad at least one of them was.

~~~~

The door closing behind Piper was terrifying. Suddenly, Leo was truly alone with his thoughts for the first time since Jason had died. Even late at night, when his thoughts inevitably drifted in all kinds of awful directions, Piper was there. Even if she was asleep and all he could do was hear her breathing, that still helped. This? Being alone with his thoughts in a completely quiet room? 0/10 experience, would not recommend.

He didn’t give himself much time to think. He rummaged around in his tool belt and pulled out a golden drachma for an Iris Message—as upset as Leo was with all the gods right now, he supposed at least his dad had the decency to actually give him an allowance—then pulled out the device he’d been working on. It was a small cylinder, no larger than the palm of his hand, and it obediently folded out into a prism at the push of a button. You just needed to fill it with water, switch it on, and voilà: you got yourself a rainbow. It even had an inbuilt flashlight in case you needed to use it when the sun was out.

He tried to swallow his anxiety and flipped the drachma into the rainbow.

“Iris, goddess of the Rainbow, please accept my offering. Show me Calypso. Waystation, Indianapolis.”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the rainbow flickered and an image appeared—blurry at first, then slowly taking shape. Calypso was sitting at a desk by a window, brooding over some notebook that almost looked like…

Leo blinked.

“Huh, am just heroically saving you from your homework?”

Calypso’s head snapped up. Her eyes went wide as saucers. “Leo?” 

“I do recall that being my name, yes.” He grinned and waved. “Hi.”

He tried to remember how to talk to Calypso. The thing was, Leo wasn’t sure he’d ever actually known. Hell, even if he had, how exactly did you greet a girl you’d sort of ditched a few weeks ago and hadn’t called since?

Calypso didn’t look very amused. “Where are you? You were gone so long that- I was beginning to think you’d died!”

“Well, yeah, I did,” Leo said with a shrug. “That’s how I rescued you, remember?” 

It was easier to say that than to say anything else. To admit it really did feel like there was a part of him that had died and that he was never getting back. He didn’t want to have to actually talk about Jason—to tell the story again—especially not without Piper there. 

He realized his mistake a moment too late. Calypso’s eyes flared with anger.

“For the last time, you did not rescue me!” she snapped. “And do you think that’s funny? You disappear for weeks without a word, and that’s one of the first things you say to me? Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

Right. Joking back and forth with Piper had been so natural and easy that he’d briefly forgotten Calypso didn’t like it when he did that.

Okay, admittedly, Piper probably wouldn’t have appreciated that particular joke either. She would have crossed her arms and told him off. But they would have been okay, after.

He never felt like he and Calypso were okay, coming out of these arguments. Most of the time, he just felt like shit.

“Yeah, well, things happened. And it’s not my fault communications were down.” He didn’t look at the image in the rainbow.

“What is it?” Her voice softened a little. “What happened?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Well that’s not exactly helpful,” she huffed. “Will you tell me when you’re coming back home, at least? Maybe we can talk then.”

Leo was pretty sure he visibly winced at the word ‘home’. He wasn’t sure what the Waystation was, but he’d only spent a few days there. It wasn’t a bad place, but it most definitely wasn’t home. Home had burnt down when he’d been eight years old. The only other home Leo had ever found was ashes scattered across the ruins of New Rome now. 

Leo pushed the thought away. He had to keep it together. 

“I… listen, I don’t know yet. I just need some time to… I don’t know. Process, I guess.” 

“Process whatever it is you’re refusing to tell me about.” Calypso crossed her arms. “Fine. But you are coming back?”

There was an edge to her voice now—that of someone who had been left behind a few too many times. Over the course of her life, every person who’d ever kept her company had eventually dipped and left her heartbroken, never sparing her another thought. 

And now Leo had done the exact same thing.

Wow, he was a terrible person.

“Obviously.”

He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t continue bothering Piper when she clearly wanted to at least try to move on. And he had promised Calypso to try and stay somewhere with her—to live a normal life with her. Going back on that wasn’t fair to her. Not even when he was sure he was too broken to live that kind of life—too broken for anyone to ever properly put him back together. 

Staying here wasn’t fair on poor Festus, either. Leo knew his dragon friend didn’t like being folded up into suitcase form as much as he was, but Piper’s new home wasn’t exactly made for huge metal dragons. 

Leo tried to keep talking to Calypso. He really did. She lit up a little when he asked about school, and so they talked about that for a while. Calypso told him about classmates she got along with and how she liked marching band and Emmie tutoring her in the subjects she didn’t understand. 

Leo listened and tried to get past the fact that he just didn’t get it. He tried to grasp her excitement for a place that had at best been boring as hell and at worst been actual torture for him. 

“That sounds… I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I wish you were here. You’ve already missed several weeks of classes, but I think you’d like this school.”

Leo almost laughed. “I highly doubt that. They have yet to invent a school that can even contain me, never mind one that I actually like.” 

“If you’re still refusing to engage in any sort of actual conversation with me that even vaguely implies there is a future where you may be coming back,” Calypso said bitingly, “will you at least tell me where you are so we can all stop worrying so much?” Leo kept brushing past the answer to that question because he knew it would prompt more questions that he wasn’t ready to get into. “Did you manage to help Camp Jupiter?”

“I-” Leo’s throat closed up. Not enough, his brain supplied. I couldn’t save Jason, and I couldn’t protect his home, either. I’m not sure me going there made a difference at all. He couldn’t bring himself to say any of that. “Kind of. I’m with Piper right now.”

Calypso’s expression soured even further.

“You ditched me and let me think you were dead for weeks so you could hang out with your friends? Let me guess, Jason is there, too.”

Somewhere, there was a rational part of Leo’s brain that realized this did sound bad. If he had been listening to that rational part right now, he probably could have had a mature conversation about this with Calypso. They could have resolved this like reasonable people.

But at the mention of Jason’s name, he just shut down. He did not tell Calypso anything. He just hung up on her.

~~~~

Leo showered, so by the time Piper got home he didn’t look like he’d spent the past hour curled up in a corner, bawling his eyes out.

Piper wasn’t an idiot, though. She knew that something was up the second she stepped through the door to find Leo in the kitchen making burritos.

“You okay?”

“Just got hungry.” He shrugged, like he wasn’t in fact trying to cook out the feelings he hadn’t been able to get rid of with his tears. It hadn’t really worked—cooking couldn’t exactly fix relationship issues or the fact that his best friend was dead—but rolling up the ingredients in one of his handmade tortillas at least helped keep his hands busy, and he actually was a little hungry. “You can have one, if you didn’t already eat on your date. Ingredients are pick what you want,” he said, gesturing at the mess of bowls and the still sizzling pan of fried tofu, “but they’re all vegetarian.”

“You are my favorite person in the whole entire world, and also definitely trying to distract me,” Piper said, shaking her head, but she did move to fill up one of the still-warm tortillas with a ridiculous amount of black beans, lettuce and tofu, combined with not nearly enough salsa, as far as Leo was concerned. “And it wasn’t a date.”

“Mhm, sure. Did you guys-” Leo broke off in horror. He’d been watching Piper work, and sure, he’d been lovingly judging some of her completely unbalanced food combos in his head, but this he could no longer tolerate. “Pipes, what in the world are you doing? I’m unfriending you.” 

He set his own food down on his plate and moved to stand beside his best friend. Screw the date interrogation, for now he had to save Piper’s poor tortured burrito.

“I thought I just had to roll the tortilla. Did I put too much stuff on it and that’s why it doesn’t work?”

She’d been trying to roll the entire thing in a single direction, impressively managing to make her excessive amounts of filling spill out of three sides at once. 

“This is what I get for briefly forgetting you grew up a rich kid with a private chef,” Leo groaned, shaking his head in exaggerated disbelief. He gently shoved Piper away from the kitchen counter to do rescue breathing on her half-slaughtered dinner. “You can’t roll it like that, you absolute heathen. You need to tuck the sides in. Here, like this. That way you won’t end up with ingredients all the way down your shirt.”

He gently opened the tortilla back up, took a spoon to move the filling Piper hadn’t spilled to the middle and then rolled it properly, like his mom had shown him when he’d been five. He made a point of doing it way slower than necessary, like he actually expected Piper to memorize the steps and maybe take notes.

“Okay, okay, point taken.” Piper raised her hands. “But heathen is a hilarious insult considering we both have a Greek god for a parent.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a riot.” Leo grinned, neatly cutting the burrito down the middle and handing the plate back to Piper. Then, he started wiping down the counter. Kitchens were the only work spaces Leo had ever properly bothered to keep tidy. “Now that neither you nor your food are at immediate risk of death, tell me how things went with Shel. You engaged yet? For your sake, I hope she’s better at rolling burritos than you, because otherwise you’re both doomed.”

He made a show of looking at her hands like he was actually expecting to find a ring.

“Shut up.” Piper rolled her eyes, but she smiled. “It was pretty great, actually.”

“Hello? Details?” Leo waved his hands in circles for emphasis. “You don’t seriously think I’m letting you off the hook that easily, do you?”

Instead of moving towards the table like she should have, Piper flopped down on the small couch with her food, so Leo grabbed his plate and joined her there. He wasn’t complaining about dinner on the couch.

“I’m only telling you if you tell me what’s up with you first. Because, distraction or not, you won’t get rid of me that easily, either.” She nudged him gently, then stuffed her mouth with food like she was trying to emphasize she wouldn’t go first.

Her face melted into a completely content expression, and Leo immediately felt happier.

“That good, hm?” Piper made a humming noise of confirmation. “Then I think you owe it to me to tell me how your date was. I promise I’ll tell you what’s up with me after,” Leo said with a grin.

He knew he had to give her something or she would never talk, but he really wanted to hear about Piper’s day before he went and ruined the mood.

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” Piper sighed, letting herself fall against the sofa’s backrest dramatically. “Fine. But only because you’ll be completely unbearable otherwise.”

“You know me so well.”

Leo tried not to feel a sting at how great Piper’s day had been without him there. What he felt when she talked wasn’t the same painful sting he’d felt when it had been her and Jason dating, though Leo couldn’t quite explain why. Most of him didn’t mind this. Hell, most of him was happy for her.

But it certainly didn’t help the feeling that he wasn’t exactly needed here.

The not-date itself actually sounded pretty nice, as long as Leo managed to make all the useless voices in his head shut up.

Shel and Piper had grabbed coffee (which Leo couldn’t sympathize with) and just talked for ages. Shel was apparently on her school’s swimming team, did theatre in her free time and liked a lot of the same music and movies as Piper. She’d lived in Tahlequah her entire life. She’d also known she was a lesbian since she was eight years old.

At that point, Piper had apparently felt like she owed her some sort of heads up—both about the fact that she was still new to all this and about having recently lost a really close friend that she’d dated at some point and how that didn’t leave her with much headspace to figure out… everything else.

That seemed like a lot to share so early on, but Piper said Shel hadn’t minded. She’d just thanked her for being so honest, and told her she was there if Piper needed someone to talk everything through with.

“Which I obviously can’t, because well, if I told her a Roman Emperor came back to life and stabbed my ex, she’d definitely think I’ve lost it completely, but it’s a nice sentiment.”

“Yeah, I thought everything else was already a bit much, but ‘my mom is a Greek goddess, I can brainwash people and me and my friends saved the world last year’ really isn’t a conversation for a first date.”

Leo wasn’t sure how Piper could stand it. The thought of having to keep most of his life secret from a mortal parent and any new friends he made seemed impossible to him. Hell, even if he’d wanted to, Leo was pretty sure he’d inevitably slip up and make a joke about the time he almost got eaten by a giant killer shrimp, and that was if he didn’t anxiously catch himself on fire first.

“Anyway, she said it’s totally understandable that I need time, and if the worst she can get out of this is a friendship with a pretty girl, that’s still a win in her book. And she still insisted on paying, to welcome me here,” Piper told Leo fondly. “It was… I don’t know. She’s nice. I’ll probably end up at the same school as her, and she’s offered to show me around.”

“So, how soon can I expect a wedding invite?” Leo asked with a grin. “You’ll remember the best man thing, right?”

“Keep this up and you won't get an invite if I do actually get married one day,” she teased back, gently flicking him in the head. “Now, tell me what’s going on with you. You promised. Did your call with your girlfriend go okay?”

Leo winced, which was answer enough in his opinion, but he knew Piper would disagree with him on that one. He still didn’t want to have this conversation. He also really didn’t want to bring Piper down when she’d finally had a good day for the first time in ages.

But she was looking at him expectantly, and Leo knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to get out of this one.

“It wasn’t great. Apparently, me being gone for so long had everyone pretty worried. Go figure,” he admitted, hoping he could avoid elaborating. He didn’t exactly want to dump all of his relationship issues on Piper, especially since there wasn’t anything she could do to fix them. He knew it was sort of necessary to keep talking, but he could barely get the words out. “And, uh. Because of that, I think it might be time for me to head back to the Waystation.”

It was something he’d been thinking about on and off since that IM with Frank and Hazel. And as much as the thought of going back made his stomach pool with dread, the call with Calypso had just sealed the deal. Once he’d managed to stop crying like a baby and his heart had quit throbbing out a painful rhythm of Jason, Jason, Jason until he couldn’t breathe, Leo had at least tried to figure out what he wanted to do now. He couldn’t keep staying with Piper, who was finally starting to be somewhat okay again. He couldn’t keep ignoring the fact that he’d just ditched Calypso for the world’s longest, most depressing sleepover.

If he wanted any chance to salvage that situation, and if he wanted to give Piper a chance to actually move on instead of continuously dragging her down with him when he didn’t want to move on the way she was trying to, then he had to go back to the Waystation.

The teasing smile slid off Piper’s face.

“Oh,” she said, her lip wobbling a little. “Do you really have to go?”

Leo felt almost relieved that Piper seemed sad, though he realized maybe that was a bit of a shitty reaction on his part. At least he hadn’t completely annoyed his way out of this friendship just yet.

“See, that’s why I refused to go first. Instant mood killer.” He tried for a half-smile. “But yeah, I should probably go back soon. I’ve kind of been neglecting my girlfriend a whole bunch—I haven’t seen her in over a month, which is pretty shitty of me. Besides, poor Festus deserves to be in a place where it’s easier for him to stretch his legs. You know he doesn’t like being in sleep cycle this much.”

Piper wrapped her arms around herself. “I guess that makes sense, but- do you have to leave right now?” 

Leo shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think another day or two will make a difference at this point. I’m going to get an earful once I get back either way.”

“Okay. Good. I know that you can’t stay here forever. But I need a few more days with you. I’m sure Festus will forgive you eventually.” Piper was obviously trying to sound like she was teasing him, but something pleading, almost desperate crept into her voice, which had Leo worried. 

“Yeah. Festus.” Leo cringed internally. He actually wasn’t all that worried about Festus staying mad at him—sure, he might pout for a bit and would probably complain most of the way back to the Waystation, but he was usually easily appeased with enough motor oil, Tabasco sauce and maybe an upgrade or two.

Leo was unfortunately pretty sure his relationship issues with Calypso would need fixing that was beyond the magical abilities of Tabasco sauce—though what would fix them, he had absolutely no idea.

Them having problems wasn’t exactly new, and hadn’t entirely been caused by him running off on her now—even if that admittedly hadn’t helped.

“So, are we doing the world’s longest goodbye movie marathon, or do you need me for anything specific?” Leo joked, trying to hide his relief at getting to stay for a few more days, consequences for his relationship with Calypso be damned. “I know you’ve been lucky to bask in my presence for so long, I’d be reluctant to let me go, too, but that sounded like you might have actual plans.”

Piper didn’t laugh. She didn’t even roll her eyes at him, which was a terrible sign. 

“If you really have to leave, there’s something I want to do first.” She reached out and took his hands with shaking fingers. “I- I’ve been thinking. About what Thalia said. And I want to find a way to properly say goodbye, too. But I don’t think I can do this without you.”

Leo felt like someone had punched him. He could basically feel the way all color drained from his face at Piper’s words.

“I- I don’t know if I can-” he stammered, fighting his instinct to immediately turn on his heels and run—out of this room and this house and preferably the entire state of Oklahoma.

Joking about it was one thing. Facing the reality of it—the fact that Jason was truly gone and he’d never get to see him or hug him or joke with him again—was an entirely different beast.

Leo wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for that.

“You don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want to. I promise,” Piper told him, gently squeezing his hand. “I won’t force you to do anything you don’t feel ready for, okay? I just need you there. Please?”

Piper wasn’t charmspeaking him. Leo would have known if she was, and he knew that she’d never do that to him—not when it came to something as important as this. But she was looking at him with such wild desperation in her eyes that it was still impossible for him to say no.

It didn’t matter if this didn’t help him. Piper needed it. He’d left her for over six months. She was the one who’d actually been present when Jason had died.

The thought of that kept him up at night. He kept imagining Piper kneeling over Jason. Piper shaking Jason’s shoulders and screaming his name, hoping desperately for an answer she’d never receive. Piper clutching Jason’s body to her chest for the very last time. Piper wailing on that awful beach while Leo was a thousand miles away.

He hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed him the most. This was the least he could do to start making things up to her.

“Okay,” he said, reaching out to pull Piper into his arms. It was a mostly selfish act, really—if he hadn’t been holding onto something, Leo wasn’t sure how he would have kept himself from falling apart. “What do you want to do?”

“Jason wasn’t just a Roman demigod. Not since-” Piper broke off, but Leo caught her meaning anyway. Not since he met us. “He belonged to both camps. That was important to him. I think he should have a proper Camp Half-Blood funeral, too.”

———

Some more notes:

So, it’s been six months since I posted the first chapter of this fic and about fourteen months since I first started working on it, and I am delighted to announce that it’s finally done! I can therefore reliably promise both weekly updates and that this fic won’t be abandoned partway through! Hooray!

It still feels kind of dizzying whenever I think about this story actually being done considering how long it’s been my main writing project. I originally thought this whole fic was going to be done in like three chapters. It turns out what my brain wanted instead was a whole Leo Valdez novel. I cannot say that I, personally, am upset about this outcome.

Special shout-out to my friends who have listened to me ramble and rant about this fic for months LMAO

I poured a lot of love into this story and I hope you’ll have a good time with it! Comments obviously super, super appreciated. Thank you all for reading!

Tag list: @poppitron360 @bookIshpolythist @lilyfrey @lady-silkwing @intenebrisobscurat @manygeese @ann-rex

(If anyone wants to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know!)

[natasha-in-space]

So I'm replaying Ray's After ending rn, and it got me thinking that what I adore so much about Rika as an antagonist is just how damn scary she can be. I always found those who cause harm with good intentions (at least in their point of view) much scarier than those who hurt you with pure intention on hurting you. I think the best example of it is this CG in particular:

Look at that. Such a loving, gentle expression on her face. Probably kissing his forehead. Because she loves him. Heck, without any context, this CG looks even sweet, if you think about it. And yet, all that is while Saeyoung is forcefully sedated on a powerful concoction of drugs even a trained agent like him can't do anything about (and Saeyoung WAS definitely trained to deal with this sort of thing, hence it's mentioned that this is a 'special' kind of drugs). He looks miserable. Bags under his eyes, his expression pained and troubled, even his hair is paler than usual. All that as a direct result of her actions. But she's utterly blind to it. What's scarier, is that she knowingly shuts off her understanding of what's really happening. She's not oblivious to it at all. She just chooses not to see it that way. Simply because she doesn't want to.

Rika is the type of antagonist that will cup your cheek into her warm hand with the most loving of smiles on her face, all while you are getting elixir poured down your throat. Even whispering to you that you're doing great, that the pain will soon pass, and that she can't wait to see you reach the happiness she knows you deserve. I won't be surprised if she even cried genuine tears of compassion during some ceremonies for her believers. All while being the sole reason behind their suffering.

And that's... God, that's terrifying to me. I love that about her.

Rika Kim, they could never make me hate you

[itz-pandora]

Thinking about Shadow and Metadow and Metamyadow

[empressgeekt]

After getting Branch's full back story. I don't think Char would really connect that it happened to him until later. Eventually it would settle after all, it would explain his puzzling behavior and nightmares from when he was a trolling. However, at first he's more ticked off on Branch's behalf. Like you don't just abandon a baby for a misplaced song. Char knows the wonderful feeling of connection that preforming with your loved ones brings. How dare they deny Branch that experience, for trying the impossible. Seriously, in my au, only a clan of acapella trolls ever managed to complete the harmony and no one really knows how they did it. Pop trolls might not even be capable of it (ovi they are, but the boys don't know that yet). It's almost to the point he becomes Ebony, but he doesn't want to scare Branch with it. so Char holds it back best he can.

Char would definitely laugh when Branch explained that Barb kidnapped him. LIke it's such a Barb thing to do. She would just pluck up Char whenever she pleased when he was little and carry him around the cavern for no reason.

He would also tell Branch to call Barb "Barbie" to see how she reacts lol.

Char would be...almost envious of how much more chilled out your verison of the rock tribe is. Sure, they're still violent, but Branch isn't ever in danger of being discovered. Char has had to live with the constant anxiety of someone discovering what he is, and who he is to the point he's almost isolated himself, with the exception of a select few. Heck, he's still scared to reveal himself to Val and Petra in adulthood, and they have been friend for 20 years. Meanwhile Branch doesn't have to deal with all that. Sure he doesn't tell people what he is, but after accepting rock music, he's practically a rock troll in body aswell as soul. Char didn't get any physical changes from his linkage with Rock music (Ebony State is linked moreso to grayness)

Now, Branch telling Char about Poppy would not help this man's complicated emotions towards this marriage. Like it's a life or death alliance here, man, Char's backed into a corner, cause the only other option right now is to possibly start a war. He gets that his future bride is a mess, but please stop filling his head with horror stories! lol.

hey question what would happen if BB Branch met rock sibs Branch

Well, Char would be rather surprised to see a version of him that didn't lose his memory, odd looking into a reflection that has your face but a different song in their soul. I'd imagine he would try to ask Sibs Branch about their past to try and quell some of his confusion over his genre identity, but....hmmm @rocksibblingsau you want to join in on this? I would hate to mis-interpret your Branch.

[statementlou]

Maya went on The Internet Is Dead podcast to be interviewed about her relationship with Liam and it's interesting; I recommend it for people who were curious about untangling the details in her book from real life (they talk about this in a number of different places with some detail), people who think she's making everything up, and anyone else sending hostile asks about her- we know she is following the fandom talk and responding to it but I have to say it's very satisfying to listen to her rattle through the exact arguments anons on here are sending around and answer every one of them.

some detail below the cut:

The experience was kind of grating at times; maybe it's just me but I never find it enjoyable to listen to people outside of fandom or casual 1D fans talk about us, and I cringe and bristle literally every time someone says "these people" or "they think", plus the hosts are not super useful; they refer to her tiktoks and book repeatedly without actually giving context for the discussion, like I could do with the occasional "in the book you say…" rather than just chatting about it and leaving us to figure out what they are talking about (they don't even say the name of the book), but whatever. There's interesting stuff in there so it was worth it for me and if you prefer you can just get my highlights, here ya go-

-Her making the point that the media training all of the 1D guys have done from such a young age not only impacts how they talk to the press but also how they talk to people in their lives, the tools it gives them for communicating with (and in this case, manipulating) people was fascinating to me, I hadn't thought about that but I will be in the future with regard to all of them, it's just very interesting to have in mind

-she says she had the book read by lawyers before publishing because it was about someone real and real events, and provided proof for things they asked about

-she points out that she has nothing to gain from making this up, and that as someone who works in a law office and is planning to go to legal school, that the fact that bringing false accusations against someone is illegal would be a huge deterrent to lying

-she says that one of the reasons she initially soft pedaled in terms of outright saying that the book was about Liam was that podcasts and such she went on didn't want her to say it, didn't want the liability, and that when she did say it that part would not get printed or would be edited out (hey speaking of this what are all these interviews she did about the book why am I just now hearing about it... when you guys see stuff like this let me know! I am interested and will maybe recap for you even!)

-she mentions Liam's silence on the whole thing more than once; "if someone wrote that about me and it wasn't true I would not just say nothing!"

-she says that her and Liam went to see After not knowing it was a 1D fanfic and then, after finding that out, he joked that she should write a book about them, and that it was where the seed of the idea came from

[ladyofchroyane]

god tywin lannister deserved worse

just remembering elias death and i wanna puke and the way tywin talks about elia and what happened is so damn gross

but rip tommen and myrcella we all know what’s about to happen in the next book :/

the cycle of violence just keeps spinning and damn you tywin for beginning it

(i got a bit crazy in the tags 💀)

[dangermousie]

Yes yes yes to all of this!

To bring in another character x real person story in, I keep thinking of W Two Worlds where FL’s OTP was also a fictional character she knew was fictional. And I think of how she treated him (and everyone else in that world) versus FL of this and it makes me want to tear out my hair. Sure, she was sympathetic to the character as a character before she got into that world but I am talking about her seeing all of them as people - I truly think one of the reasons he became real and was able to exist in reality and was able to cope with the horror that he is ink on paper and his life is a tragedy for others’ entertainment is because a real person loved him and viewed him as completely human - she knew he is a comic character and yet treated him as a person and loved him as a person.

I want something like this! I need something like this! Because as of now, FL of Dream is more like the father of W’s heroine - no matter how much evidence he’s presented with that these are beings with feelings and free will, he rejects it and keeps going nah you are just characters obedient to the narrative and because of that I am justified in whatever. And that’s not a look one wants on the heroine who’s also supposed to have a romance!

Or if you want to do cdramas, The Romance of Tiger and Rose is right there - in fact in some ways it’s an even better comparison because FL is also a modern woman ending up in a gonzo period tale with a psycho “GMP ml with serial numbers filed off” ML and starts out treating everyone as puppets but it never gets irritating, it never drags and it feels more balanced. This is gone too far into misery porn to be a comedy (and I love misery porn ahaha look at my dramas but then it has to be treated accordingly) and too wacky to deal with the misery it throws and its trying to sit on two chairs while falling and the pacing is a mess because this is not a story that needs more than 24 eps.

For me, once I get genuinely irritated with a drama (or any sort of a narrative), any desire to give it benefit of the doubt evaporates and I look at it with a jaundiced eye (it’s easy enough to make me love again a narrative that bored me for a bit; a narrative that annoyed me? Nigh impossible) so I realize I am viewing the story through a prejudiced lens but why is FL’s plan so idiotic if her goal is to have ML not off her.

Basically, in none of the preconditions, do her options make sense:

1. Things are fixed, no matter what anyone does she’s gonna die because of him. Her belief things are fixed and key scenes happen no matter what is front and center for most of the drama and reason for a lot of her actions. Well, if it doesn’t matter about their personalities relationships or even locations, key scenes are fixed, why is she even bothering with anything? Sit in the mansion and eat grapes. At least you won’t die tired.

2. Things can change (side note, her belief in that makes no sense; key scenes still happened every single one even if the fire rescue she believes with a different guy. Being shoved off the wall by a different person is not very helpful to her. But whatever.) Then perhaps she should not act in a manner calculated, if Nan Heng was a psycho she thinks he is or frankly even if he was a normal dude, to make him dislike her and the family. This is the man she believes murders people a lot and specifically will kill her fam, she does not believe he loves her etc - perhaps trying to so openly murder him, poison him, rail at him, get out of the marriage and throw him under the bus to dad etc etc is really not the way to make him consider sparing you?

I am not even getting into whether she should or shouldn’t do stuff for moral or even logical observation reasons (her sister was clearly evil in the OG story and she has no issue believing she’s good and somehow changed, why not NH) but like self preservation!!!!

When she told the emperor she wanted the marriage canceled and this means ML can’t get a foothold in the war ministry and then found him and told him she’s tried to kill him a bunch of times and would like to do so now - girl are you TRYING to drive him to homicide? She has no common sense. I am imagining her survival rate in an older drama (Glamorous Imperial Concubine, Royal Nirvana, The King’s Woman, Goodbye My Princess etc etc) and yikes.

PS why is she so terrified of dying anyway? She’s already died a million times in the first ep and just came back to life every time. There has been no system announcement that this time death is for keeps so if she dies at the end she just wakes up in rl or back in some portion of the story or w/e

[hsslilly-blog]

i'm killing sebastian's dad and giving him a stepfather and a half sibling who's in elementary school. i think that fits his whole deal

[bmpmp3]

the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Imagine doing so much hard work and persevering through law school to have your failed tests advertised on the internet news. The bar is really hard; he’s not “cringe fail.” I am jealous of his ability to even attend college without committing suicide. He did a good job. Leave my dude the fuck alone.

I don’t care if they’re elites. If they’re elites; then make fun of them solely for being rich nepotism babies. There are non-elites who have failed the bar (or any important test) once or twice as well who will see this and feel bad about themselves.

[nightmare8-420]

tw uhhh???? sorta ish implied possible abuse??? i have no idea how to explain this. sorry. /vent / this is so long im basically reciting one of those core issues that reply again and again

this is so stupid shouldnt this stay in the noted app

isnt this basically the open notes app?

what the fuckk everrr idc

how am i supposed to even start this. christ.

april 17th. 2022. i think at least. i dont have any of the pictures anymore. new phone and stuff. it was in april at least. i hate april for more than this reason, big factor though.

i was laying on the couch, early morning, 9-10 am ish if i remember. there was something said about going up to my fathers mothers house because she was insistant, yada yada, i zoned out, then asked for the schedule. [Fathers mothers name]s house then the store? i asked something of the like i think.

and i guess that was the wrong thing to say. she lit into me about god knows what, i can barely remember honestly. dont really wanna remember tbh. i remember some of the things she said, they make me feel disgusting just thinking about it. i wont talk about those.

it was like instead of being a normal ass rider she decided to wait 7 months and then just start fucking screaming. when i say screaming, i mean literal fucking screaming. not shouting. not talking loud. screaming. to the point shes done it so much i dont know how we havent gotten a noise complaint. or domestic violence report or something.

obviously me being 12 and an idiot, i totally took this 100% well!

i dont know why exactly i have been, but, i am to say the least, a paranoid man. kinda.?? is it paranoia if it started out as unrealistic and unjustifed but then became realistic and justified? obviously my ass hasnt trusted her since i was 8. ignoring medical issues, cheating on her husband and making me lie for her. etc. so of course, assuming that shed hit me or something bc tbh that woulsnt be shocking, i went outside, crying like goddamn i was crying bro. (note; unimportant but a habit whenever i start getting yelled at, sorta just shut down and agree with whatever they say, usually making plans on how to look like im doing what they say without actually doing it.) that stupid fucking gray sweater i was wearing. far too itchy ti be considered comfortable. shaking. vision blurrier than ever before (use this line for fanfic future j stg stg)

of course she comes out there yelling too! i think. or made me come back inside. i think it was the latter?? again, tried to forget about this. kinda hard to though tbh.

more yelling ensues, as usual, my father ends up taking me to his mothers house, because we planned to go anyways.

we didnt talk the whole ride there. he asked me on the street "still kinda upset?", god it was hard to get even a "kinda" out (note, blurry memory, dk if thats correct, pretty sure it is tho)

we went in. and i as he and them were greeting each other, i had to go to the bathroom so i wouldnt (or at least not be seen) cry. (my father worked most of the time since before i was born and theyre over protective so going mostly anywhere was always with my mother) it sucked. her bathroom really, REALLY sucks okay.

anyways i come out because i cant hide in there forever. i go into the kitchen, she has a 'gift' for me, she said so. it was a little bird house. yk the ones that arent really useable and just meant to be painted? yeah those. i actually like it still, never finished working on it though.

AND 50 FUCKINF DOLLARS FUCK YOU TO MY MOTHER I GOT 50 BUCKS OUT OF THIS BITCH 🖕🖕🖕

still sucked. (also as a note, i did smoke then, but i had left it purposefully underneath my dresser, incase she was like "HE SMOKES DID YOU KNOW THAT HUH? WHY SHOULDNT I BREATE THIS CHILD" i could be like "NUH UH I LEFT IT THERE FOR ANREASON" or some shit irdk my reasoning was so weird but id still do it today.

so after that, zoning out because god i dont remember the rest, we went to his at the time place of work (truck driver, chemicals, going to the yard to get stuff from truck to swtich it to another or just to clean or look at it is so normal i cant express it)

the yard is essentially an ass ton of those dusty gray small rocks. i stayed in the honda, it was a gray day, literally. looked like it was gonna rain.

i stayed in because everything was so much and if i got out, i probably wouldve collapsed just from being too into my own thoughts.

i guess at some point when she was yelling at me it turned into about school work and how i get nothing done.

theres actually still an app for it, but i dont think you can reset passwords, if you could, then idk how. the password was extremely long and stupid, like random numbers and letters literally. i always logged on on my laptop, by muscle memory, but the ohone keyboard is different so i texted my mother to ask if she knew, yk, to 'show initiative' and of course she was still being an ass. because why not right! so that made me feel more like shit and lowkey kinda helpless. she had been yelling sorta at my father too, so its not like i could just go get run over at this point, would make it worse on him (not actively what i was thinking but i think subconsciously)

finally he finished doing whatever he was doing, dont remember because too focused on smth else (care to guess what?)

he got back in the car and asked if there was anywhere else i wanted to go. i said something along the lines of "anywhere but home".

he said "i know, but we gotta go home at sometime.." i cant express his tone but ill try.

it was in that solem, "im about to start the process of before you cry and i can feel it but im trying not to." or "i know this isnt right, but everhthing else is wrong too and i just. cant. save. you."

i feel that its very worth mentioning that since he was 3 he was severely abused by his father and mother. as he puts it "every night was a fucking argument" i dont remember the exact words but hes stated multiple times because of said fights he used to go to bed without eating. (and his mother is SO fucking weird, i mean it in the shes literally told my mother and i quote "when his chest hair was coming in it was so sexy". im not kidding. this is a real quote from this woman. hes adopted. this makes it absolutely no better but im pretty sure thatd be her justification for that comment.)

[his first father, gene who is now thankfully rotting in hell <3, was an absolute piece of shit. a whore. an abuse. everything.

the next one, Jack because no motherfucker thats MY initial. was an alcoholic, a prick when he was drunk, but not too bad when sober, my father has told me how jacks parents used to. essentially chain him (his shirt or neck?? dont remember) to a clothes line 'so he wouldnt run off'. or smth very close. foggy memory. boils down to 'very sensitive to child abuse and doesnt take that shit' a W indeed.

third, MASON MENTIONED actually was good. he doesnt talk abt mason much (idk time period, dont think he was around too long, died of cancer i think? or tb. i think. also gene was only in his childhood. a bit of gene and then after the nexts where in adult hood)

then the last/most recent, Jimmy. hes like. fine ig????? longer story for later.]

so basically having a slight panic attack because oh god what the fuck am i going to do. i asked a question.

simple. plain. basic english.

"do you ever think she'd hit me?"

you know when youre crying and your throat closes up and is scratchy? just like that. from someone thats supposed to love and protect you.

and. the worst part? this man has been married to her for somewhere around 20? years now. and the only thing he could say?

"i dont know."

i dont know. i dont know. i dont fucking know.

i was in the backseat, so i couldnt see, but i could hear him cry. gene was in the army, so of course he was the type for everything to have to be perfect. also probably why my father is assumed to have been in the military. everything has ways had to be perfect.

and you know what isnt perfect, military or just generally being seen as wrong or effeminate?

a man crying. a grown man crying.

over his wife. not because she died. not because shes sick. but because hes unsure that his own child, his son, will be safe with her. because he has to work. no matter what.

because courts never give custody to the father here. because he doesnt have enough PTO or sick days (not that thats a thing) to see it blow over.

because in the next 24 hours he will have to come to work.

he watched his wife almost kill their newborn son because she was stressed, he stopped it. because he could. because he was there. it was understandable. i dont remember what its called but after pregnancy/birth depression is real.

but thats 12 years later. with a woman that should know so much better.

we went home. it was the first time i was glad he drove slowly.

that tension in the air. it would take more than a fingernail to cut through.

we 'discussed' some things. less yelling. more just stern talkings of 'what needs to happen', i still dont do those things.

at some point we went on a walk, there was a backhanded comment about how we didnt go to the store for some reason.

the next day her and i went to the park. the major was there, she knows him, she made me take pictures with him. and the whole time the only thing i could think of was "does he even know what happened yesterday?"

[beemovieerotica]

which 3 US presidents do you think would be the best omegas and which 3 bisexual pop stars would be their best matched alphas

1) John Adams

John Adams was a tireless advocate for the revolution (i.e. topping from the bottom) and he once described himself as "obnoxious, suspected, and unpopular" - "he was known for his bluntness, impatience, and tendency to be easily frustrated with those who disagreed with him." As a brat in Congress, his personality was repulsive, but everyone listened to him and they all still wanted him. They wanted him so bad they made him president. Kind of makes you think.

His match:

Adams needs someone with a strong personality to challenge his - someone who's not afraid to repel the mainstream in order to realize their vision. Gaga has it, and he needs it. "Bad Romance" in many way encompasses Adams' struggles through the 1776 Continental Congress. They could teach each other much.

2) Theodore Roosevelt

A man dedicated to the preservation of natural parks and ecological wonders - and for what? To run through the trees under the full moon as his pheromones wafted through the air? We know.

His match:

Grimes once described herself as becoming "way less gay" after she became pregnant, which is 1) weird, and 2) the reason I'm sticking her with Teddy. I don't think that he could fix her completely, but she seems the type to maintain no moral compass of her own, simply adopting the political ideology of whomever she's with, so maybe there's hope. Maybe Grimes could introduce Teddy to shrooms, and Teddy could take her out on trips in the forest. And then we can find out if Grimes getting a man pregnant makes her more or less gay.

3) Richard Nixon

Best known for his one legendary debate with the handsome JFK, wherein he became a stuttering, sweating mess, unable to focus or say what he meant. Interesting!

His match:

Bisexual icon Taylor Swift is also struggling to appease both sides of the political aisle. They could share their woes and their love of good ol' fashioned Americana, and then Taylor could tie him to the wall and make him bark like a dog. The pregnancy would be difficult on both of them with Taylor's extremely busy schedule, and Nixon would regrettably terminate it in the second trimester, causing a rift in the relationship that would never be mended. The resulting laments that Taylor composed about Nixon's abortion would of course be dissected and attributed to a secret relationship with a woman - Nixon's wife.

I welcome critical analysis.

[sheisoverhere]

Peeta Mellark is an integral member of the four D12 victors. He is literally the sunset on the reaping! How is this not clear? I’ve never wanted to report people for bad literary analysis more and I’m only half joking. It has forced me to commit a cardinal sin: analyze in anger!

1. Him being chosen by absolute accident is the point. Not only does he represent every single other tribute who simply gets chosen because they live in a messed up country but he represents how even with some odds being in your favor (older siblings, merchant family, being white, being popular, etc.) you are still very likely to be victimized by the oppressive structure of Panem.

2. When Haymitch says, “But she was smarter than me, or luckier” - the luck is all the people around Katniss who created the circumstances for her to lead a successful revolution (her father teaching her to hunt, the arena having woods, Rue healing her with leaves, Thresh not killing her, Haymitch consistently giving her support, her mother teaching her aspects of medicine, on and on and on) and Peeta is the number one, most important part of her luck in the first book. She has someone in the games actively putting her life before his… are you kidding? There is legitimately no better luck than that.

3. Even if we take Katniss out of it, Peeta is so impactful as a victor because most of his scenes would not be cut/doctored. What’s there to edit out? Instead, the viewers get a full view of him loving a girl so selflessly, using trickery and strategy instead of violence, keeping himself alive through art, joking on literal death’s door, and sharing so much of himself with the audience it becomes harder for them not to see him as a real human boy. How rare do you think that is for the games? Haymitch and LGB are caricatures of themselves in the games, playing roles that flatten them down. Even Katniss becomes one dimensional on screen without Peeta (and Rue, of course). It is also heavily implied that he does not kill anyone during the games (in a straightforward way) and even if you count Cato or the girl from 8 or even foxface, it’s never him hunting them or seeking out a kill - again how rare do you think that is to see on screen for Games viewers?

4. I didn’t think this needed to be said but: Katniss dies without Peeta in the first games. a) she goes for the bow and dies in the bloodbath; b) she is hunted and killed by Careers; c) she is killed by game makers because there’s no love story angle to keep them from just burning her entirely; d) she dies from tracker jacker stings or Cato because Peeta doesn’t defend her or tell her to run… I could go on…

5. But even if she does win and wins alone - the victory means as much (I would argue less than) any other rebellious victor winning, certainly less than Haymitch’s win. The biggest rebellion for their games is that two of them win! This is legit the only thing that distinguishes them from any other sympathetic, kind child who would have won the games. Like if Haymitch or Finnick or Wiress winning isn’t jarring enough for the Games to end… why do you think Katniss killing Peeta and winning solo would be? It would not.

6. And finally, I cannot stress this enough: There is no peaceful end to the rebellion or the trilogy without Peeta. “Peeta’s a whiz with fires” (HG) for a reason! Collins, over and over, shows us how fire can get out of control and destroy even those who are innocent and who you love (Gale, Beete, Peeta’s family, Haymitch’s family). If everyone really burns, there’s no one to clean the ashes. The reason not everyone burns is because of people like Peeta who can coax the flames in a way that is nurturing and consistent. I mean…. “Peeta fashioned some kind of incubator” is such an obvious detail. Those goslings don’t hatch without Peeta, life does not go on in peace and joy without Peeta.

It is no coincidence that when Maysilee says Lenore Dove got the “jump on us all” (in being a rebel), she is referring to LD using orange paint to make protest art!

We must stop pushing Peeta Mellark out of the narrative! He is literally the sunset on the reaping!