#i can't stop thinking about this scene....

[exhuastedpigeon]

The fight starting over groceries and quickly spinning out to what they really needed to talk about – grief and loss and how neither of them are handling it well was so good I can't stop thinking about it. Because they weren't talking about their grief with each other!

Buck was using a psychological assessment to ‘measure’ everyone’s grief instead of just ASKING HOW THEY ARE. He wasn't talking to them about how he's feeling alone and lost. He saw grief like it's a thing you can quantify and measure.

So the fight started over who was supposed to get the groceries and quickly moved on to Eddie getting the job offer in El Paso and him letting Buck find out from someone else (even if he was going to tell him, he put it off for so long that Buck found out from Ravi).

Buck making that about him ("did you not think I'd be happy for you").

Eddie throwing how Buck is grieving back in his face ("making it all about you again").

Buck being extremely passive aggressive and saying "sorry I'm sad Bobby's dead".

Eddie snapping at Buck about how they all lost Bobby and how Buck never asked what it was like for Eddie to find out about Bobby while he was 800 miles away.

Eddie letting his grief bottle up because he felt guilty for not being there and because he hadn't talked to Bobby in a couple of weeks.

Not having a resolution at the end of the scene and letting Buck (and the audience) think Eddie left without clearing the air or saying goodbye.

That kitchen fight scene was so masterful because it took all of the things they weren't talking about and put them on the table.

And then to have Buck walk into the house thinking he'll be spending the night alone with his sadness only to have Eddie still there, to have Eddie call himself a dick, to have Chris there, to have Pepa there cooking them a family dinner.

The resolution was never going to be some perfunctory apology because that's not who they are (and that's boring TV). There's a reason we never saw Buck apologize to Eddie about the basketball game and it's because the writers are assuming we're smart enough to know all is forgiven. Having Eddie's apology be with actions, not words is so fitting for his character and for their relationship.

Having that apology be Chris is even more important. This isn't Eddie driving across town with Chris to cheer Buck up, it's Eddie getting Chris there on a last minute flight because he knows seeing Chris will help Buck (will help all of them, really). He knows Buck is feeling alone in his grief and like he's losing his family so Eddie made sure to show Buck he isn't alone and that his family is right here with him.

I love when a show lets the characters be flawed and messy and makes resolutions fit the characters. Really great work from 911 on this one.

[cantpickyourgenre]

Adding my own tags because I’ve genuinely not stopped thinking about this at all. AND because I can't believe I forgot the other instance of Buck assuming Eddie's feeling in THIS episode. In the very kitchen fight scene Eddie is opening up about what it was like, despite Buck still not asking, and Buck hears Eddie's survivor's guilt and assumes that he must not think Buck did everything he could. A truly wild leap to make. And I think Eddie is kind of fed up with Buck doing that, and we are like one or two conversations away from them working it out.

No, because I can't stop thinking about the note. At first it just seems a little bit of last pettiness. But it like...sort of makes perfect sense when paired with the assumptions Buck's been making about Eddie throughout the season. Buck told him he's moving "like it's nothing" and Eddie has to say back that it's NOT nothing. Then we have Buck taking the 12 on the grief assessment at face value. He never actually asked. Only made assumptions. So, Eddie, who knows he was a little cruel in his delivery, but right in his message leaves behind a note that is purposefully vague. The blankets are folded, and he says he's at the airport. Now when Buck comes home, he's all "I thought you were in Texas" and Eddie goes on what seems to be his weird little joke about the letters and how he never said Texas and WHEN DID I SAY THAT BUCK? NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT THE NOTE SAID BUCK. And as soon as Buck actually verbally asks him what else he could be doing at the airport, Eddie is like "Okay. Good. Here is your prize in the form of me calling myself a dick who was mean to you and here's Chris." Because....the note was Eddie trying to hammer home the lesson that when Buck assumes things about Eddie he's missing out on the real thing. He wants Buck to ask him. He wants to tell him the truth. And it's a little harsh to have him stew all day thinking Eddie just left, but that's the point. Buck hurt his OWN feelings. Because he didn't ask! Eddie just wants to teach him that it's always just better to ask him! Now...I wonder what else Buck has been assuming about Eddie and their relationship this season....

[robinminustherichard]

Fuck It Friday

Two Scenes from a longer WIP

BuckTommy | MCD followed by bad friendship aftermath | Buck runs and Tommy's the getaway driver.

Eddie confirms he's coming back to LA and Buck packs. He boxes everything up, calls the moving company, and drops the keys of with Pepa. She looks pained when he does it, but she doesn't try to stop him.

He goes to work as planned, only Gerrard knowing it's his last shift. He arrived early and slipped everything from his locker into his duffle. He asks Ravi to come up to the roof when he arrives, and he apologizes. Ravi just nods and tells Buck that he gets it, that he hopes he'll stay in touch.

They're wrapping up the shift when Eddie pulls into the lot, tray of coffees in hand and a smile on his face. Buck takes his coffee, smiles back. He feels like he's shaking out of his body. He takes advantage of everyone's distraction to grab his bag, trying to look like he's just ready to go, trying to play it cool. He creeps toward the garage doors.

Gerrard comes down the steps then and spots Eddie.

"Diaz," He calls, walking up to him with hands on his hips, "I heard you're coming back to LA."

"Yes, sir," Eddie says, tone curt but professional, "My son and I will be back fully within the next two weeks."

"Wonderful. Because I need a firefighter. Your old shift schedule work for you?"

Buck sees Eddie's head tilt, notices Chimney's confused eyebrows, watches Hen's mouth open to correct. Ravi's eyes skitter to Buck's, and Buck can't help but give him a sad smile and a shrug. Buck inches closer to the door. He sees a familiar truck pull up to the doors out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry, sir," Eddie says with a slight chuckle, "I don't understand what you mean. Ravi are you going back to B Shift?"

Ravi shakes his head, and Buck feels a little bad about putting him in that position. He should make a break for it now, but he can't let himself leave when Ravi's eyes are as wide as dinner plates. He doesn't blame him when he looks right at Buck again.

Hen and Chim notice this time, but it's Hen that clocks it first. She moves to take a step toward him.

"Buck-" she calls, at the same time that Gerrard speaks.

"No, Firefighter Buckley has requested and accepted a transfer."

For a moment, Buck can't help but relish the shocked silence. He watches it wash over Chim and sees Eddie spin around to stare at him.

"Buck, what--"

"Hold on, Buck--"

Chim and Eddie's voices overlap, but Buck has already turned, made it to the truck door in a few long strides. There are steps behind him, but before they can get close he's already thrown his bag into the cab and slid into the front seat. He thinks he hears his name agian as he slams the door and hits the lock. He doesn't look out the window.

"Let's go," he says, clicking his seat belt in and giving Tommy a nod.

Tommy puts the car in drive and does as instructed.

-------------------

May opens the door to Chimney's knocks, and calls out for Athena. She comes around the corner and can't quite stop the grimace that crosses her face. They may have worked their way out of a collapsed high rise together and buried the Bobby hatchet, but Athena knows what Chimney is here for.

"Chimney," she says, crossing her arms and giving him a cool look. She doesn't welcome him inside. She feels May come to a stop slightly behind her. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to know where Buck is." He says simply, seriously. No pleasantries to pave the way.

"I am not at liberty to share that information."

Frustration is clear on Chimney's face and he sighs.

"You told Hen that he's okay--"

"He is." She raises an eyebrow. May tenses behind her.

"--and that you know where he is. Athena, he's my friend and my family. We're worried about him."

"He is perfectly safe and healthy." Athena isn't moved, and she's not giving an inch.

"But he's not here, with us."

"I think that's for a reason, Chimney."

Chimney's jaw ticks, he rubs a hand along the back of his neck. Athena unfolds one arm to grab the edge of the door.

"Please, Athena. Maddie just had a baby and now she's worried about him. This isn't like him, to dissappear with Tommy, his ex? Not tell any of us where he's going? No plan?"

Athena gives a humorless chuckle at that. Chimney's eyes flash when he looks at her. She huffs before speaking.

"You really think Evan Buckley up and left without a plan? Give him a little credit."

Chimney stops short at that, grasping for something to say.

"Go home and be with your wife and child, Chimney."

"Please, Athena," he says desperately, "just tell me where Buck is--"

Athena thinks she's had enough of listening to this, especially following the tense conversation she had with Hen over the same topic.

"Or what?" She asks lowly, "you'll punch me?"

"Mom--" May says, and Athena collects herself. Chimney is speechless, looking hurt and shell-shocked.

"Buck is fine, Chimney, and I made a promise to him. Goodbye."

[syrecjh]

── .✦Matching Pajamas (That He Secretly Bought)

˚🎀༘⋆ || katsuki bakugo x reader, pure fluff

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’ve just finished wrapping the last of the presents, a satisfied grin on your face as you admire the cozy scene in your living room. The tree twinkles softly in the corner, lights flickering in time with your own contentment. You turn to go put away the last of the ribbon and paper when you open the drawer and stop dead in your tracks.

There, folded neatly, are two sets of matching Christmas pajamas—one in your size, and one... well, in his size.

Your eyes widen as you pull them out, the red-and-green plaid pattern with little snowflakes looking oddly familiar. There’s no way—he didn’t.

You turn, eyebrows raised, to find Katsuki standing in the doorway, looking very much like a deer caught in the headlights. He freezes when he sees the pajamas in your hands, then immediately crosses his arms, glaring at you like it’s your fault he’s been caught.

“It’s a coincidence,” he grunts, his usual gruff tone nowhere near convincing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You hold up the matching sets, your grin spreading wider. “Really? A coincidence? You’ve been hiding these in your drawer, Katsuki, Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

He scoffs, but you can see the faint pink tint to his cheeks. “I don’t need your judgment, okay? Just—shut up.”

You walk up to him, shaking your head with a smile that could rival the brightness of the Christmas tree. “I never thought I'd see the day where Katsuki Bakugo, the most anti-cute guy I know, would go out of his way to get matching Christmas pajamas. What’s next, you gonna buy me a matching sweater with reindeer on it?”

“I didn’t—” he starts, but you cut him off with a laugh.

Later that evening, after the presents have been exchanged and the house is filled with the warmth of Christmas cheer, you find yourself wrapped in the matching pajamas, sitting by the tree, sipping hot cocoa. You pull a blanket over your legs, snuggling into the soft fabric of the PJs.

And then, of course, Katsuki shows up. He’s wearing the exact same set, only slightly rumpled, and he’s glaring at you like you’re the one who made him wear them.

“Don’t say a word,” he mutters, eyes narrowing as he lowers himself beside you. The way his shoulders tense makes it clear he’s expecting you to say something about it.

You hold your tongue, trying not to laugh at how adorably flustered he looks, and instead, you reach out and pull him into the cozy space next to you. The smell of pine needles and fresh cinnamon fills the air as you both settle under the soft blanket, the glow of the tree lights casting a warm glow around the room.

Katsuki grumbles when your head rests on his shoulder, but he doesn’t move away. In fact, he wraps an arm around you, pulling you even closer, as if to protect the last shred of his pride that’s clinging to the fact that he’s wearing matching pajamas because he wanted to, not because you made him.

There’s a long pause before he finally speaks, his voice softer than usual. “This better be the last time you bring this up.”

But the smile on his face, and the way his hand subconsciously runs through your hair, says it all.

You don’t say a word. Instead, you simply snuggle in closer, enjoying the warmth of the moment—and the fact that, despite his grumbling, he’ll never admit it, but he’s totally in love with the idea of being cute with you, even if it’s just for this Christmas.

And when you glance up at him, his face softening as he looks back at you, you can't help but think that, maybe, matching pajamas weren't such a bad idea after all.

[hwaslayer]

the space between us three (jyh) | ten.

⇢series masterlist | series playlist

⇢summary: while juggling the demands of life, yunho continues to do his best to raise his independent 11 yr old daughter, seora. throughout the years, they've built a strong foundation, an unbreakable bond— one that consists of late night talks and food runs, father/daughter dates, and sideline cheerleading at her basketball games. so when you unexpectedly come into their world, things shift. despite the uncertainty and the fear of stepping outside of their comfort zone, yunho and seora eventually learn how to open their hearts and learn how to rebuild a home where three can thrive together.

⇢pairing: single dad!yunho x f. reader

⇢genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, single dad au | fluff, angst, smut

⇢word count: 4.6k

⇢chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, hwa just hella unsure and causing problems lol, typical yunho x oc being cute af, making out, a lil bit of some dry humping, flashback scene of yunho taking seora to see her mom, crying, yunho opens up to seora about his relationship and it goes south

⇢a/n: the hongjoong fic is starting! you can find it here in case you missed it <33

"Hey." You pop into Noeul's cubicle, welcoming yourself into the free chair. "How's it going?" You're taking a break after the emails briefly stopped flooding in, checking in with your bestfriend. She seems better, but you know where her mind is still at.

"Hey cutie." She looks at you. "It's been alright. Dealing with some more internal issues, but nothing too bad." She chuckles. "Finally got a minute to breathe?"

"Mhm."

"Seeing your man later?"

"Mhm." You respond in a sing-song tone. "Can't wait. Miss him." 

"Cuties. Love you two."

"Have you talked to Seonghwa?" You ask, just to give her time to vent if needed.

"Nope."

"He didn't text you back?"

"Um, no. No he hasn't." She gives you a tiny, forced smile and it breaks your heart. "He's been ignoring me, actually. I saw him this morning on the way to the office, and I thought it was my window to talk to him."

"But? Did you guys make contact?"

"Yeah, but he literally popped out his phone and made a beeline for the entrance." She scoffs. "Yoori's also been majorly giving me the eye."

"Well."

⇢FLASHBACK

noeul: hey, can we talk?

hwa: sorry, not a good time. swamped today.

noeul: okay, so can't we talk after work?

hwa: can't.

noeul: seonghwa, really?

"Sorry." Seonghwa says as he slips into Yoori's office, her face unamused when he finds him tucking his phone into his pocket. "I just got caught up with something."

"Noeul, you mean?" She looks at his pocket and he lets out a heavy sigh.

"No. I was editing an article I need to get out before the end of the week."

"Right." Yoori looks at him over her computer. Seonghwa can tell she's still not happy. And although he doesn't blame her, he is getting tired of the attitude. Of her temper and being short with him. Of keeping within the same routine. He tried to make it up to her. Tried to make this different.

But in the end, it didn't feel so different and he doesn't want to continue if it'll keep heading down this route.

He does think about the fun he had with Noeul. He thinks about having more fun with her. He thinks about how maybe, Noeul would be different. A different kind of fun for him.

"I didn't come here to fight." Seonghwa sighs. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight."

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"I don't really wanna be out tonight, especially after the day I've already had."

"I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with me taking you out to dinner? I'll pick you up and drop you off. Or, you can stay at mine if you want."

"Seriously Hwa. Not tonight. Can we raincheck?" He sighs again and nods defeatedly.

"Yeah sure."

"Is there anything else?" She asks him and he just shakes his head. Feeling like he wasted his time to see her. He was excited to see her and ask her out tonight.

But, that went down the drain.

And now, as he's heading back to his office, he's staring at the thread between him and Noeul. Wondering if he should text her and finally talk to her. He's starting to think that Noeul wasn't just that shiny new toy to him and that his heart hasn't truly belonged to Yoori all this time.

Maybe, he needs to break free if all they do is go in circles.

Circles he feels obligated to follow because Yoori is all he's known these past months.

⇢END

"I'm sorry." You brush her hair away from her face.

"Maybe I am just stupid."

"You're not. He's just.. not the right guy, and that's totally fine." You look at her, slightly frowning. "You'll find someone who is worthy of your love and will shower you with the love you deserve."

"I know, but why can't I let go of it? We literally made out at your birthday and that was it."

"Well, you had fun with him. You were with him for the majority of the night. He's attractive too, I can't lie." You shrug. "But, he also needs to really get his shit together, especially with the whole Yoori thing. You don't wanna be another part of that equation, and you don't deserve to." She sighs.

"I just gotta let it go. You're right. It makes no sense for me to hold onto this. He's with Yoori and there's no changing that."

"Quite frankly, I don't even know if Yoori has him." She looks at you, forehead crinkled. "Okay, sorry. Point is, he needs to get himself together and you deserve someone who is sure of you. They'll come along, no doubt."

"I hope so."

"My sweet Noeul." You throw your arm around her. "Come over sometime this week or weekend? We can have a girl's night. I'll tell Sian, too."

"I could use another shopping date. I need a new, cute but functional, everyday bag."

"Are we thinking luxury bag?"

"Maybe."

"Treat yourself! Let's do it." Noeul smiles. "There she is."

"Love you."

"Love you, too." Your phone dings, signaling a text from Yunho and another coworker about a project-related. order "Let me get back to work. I've gotta check on this order I placed for the team. They needed specific electrodes for this study and they said they'd have it by a specific time this week. Gotta make sure it's on track."

"Goodluck."

"Thank you. Text me if you need anything? Or come bother me if you have time." She nods.

With that, you text your coworker back as you head to the procurement facility to check on the status of their order. It's an elevator ride down to the basement, and luckily, there isn't a huge line or a lot of people crowding the area to pick up orders. You find your contact to get an update, relieved it should be delivered tomorrow and can be picked up before lunch time. You relay the info to your coworker as you head back upstairs to your desk, the emails and task items slowly building post-break.

yunho: can't wait to see you later pretty girl

you: excited 🥰 what's lunch?

yunho: surprise!

you: boooooo

yunho: don't give me that, cutie. it'll be worth it! 

yunho: gtg, gotta look into one of the systems slowing down

yunho: 😘

You set the phone down to get back to work, only to come back to it with another text from Yunho.

yunho: damn kiss me back at least??????

you: can you go?! 😂

you: 😘

You giggle to yourself, finishing up the other tasks that have made its way to you before lunch time comes around the corner. You get the usual text from Yunho letting you know he was heading to your meeting spot, so you grab your water bottle and head out. It's a bit chilly outside, causing you to wrap your jacket around you tightly— easily finding Yunho's tall figure ahead.

"Hi." You giggle when Yunho pulls you in for a tight hug and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

"Missed you, pretty girl." He raises a cute bag up. "Made some kimbap with Seora last night."

"I missed you, too." Your eyes glow at the bag. "That's so sweet. Can't wait to eat 'em for lunch, I'm sure it's delicious." You smile, tiptoeing to give him a curt peck on the lips. You feel Yunho smile against the kiss, subtly biting his lip when you pull back.

"Can we get to the car? Now?"

"Yunho." You laugh, squealing when Yunho laces his hand with yours—rushing over to his car in the staff garage and dragging you along. He has long strides, so you're having to keep up 10x more than normal. "Yunho! You're a giant, I can't keep up!" He laughs when he decides to carry you and gets you into his car— immediately sliding into the driver's seat and reversing out of the spot. "Why are you rushing?!"

"Because we're on a time crunch and I just need my time with you. What do you mean why?" You snort. 

"Uh huh."

"I also just want you on my lap, is that so much to ask?" You let out a cute yell, making Yunho laugh even louder. He makes his way to the usual trail and lake, parking underneath the shade since the sun is out despite the chill. He pops open the large container, showing you the different kinds of kimbap they made. He hands you some chopsticks, allowing you to dig in first and give an honest review.

"Yum! This is so good, Yu." 

"Yeah? You aren't lying?" He looks at you, maintaining eye contact until you break first.

"Swear." You chuckle.

"Your mom and dad said it was good, too. I'll give credit to Seora for the idea and for planning out what kimbap we'd make."

"The girl's got taste!" You pop in another one, looking out at the lake ahead. There's a few people walking the trail, elderly couples holding onto each other as they take their time with their stroll or runners getting a workout in before it gets too late in the afternoon. Ducks are taking a dip in the lake, squirrels running up the trees. 

It's a nice reminder of life's little blessings.

"Hey." You turn in the passenger's seat, tucking your leg underneath the other to sit comfortably.

"Yeah, baby?"

"How was it? Did you take Seora to the cemetery?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "It was good. She was really happy."

"Did she get to decorate?"

"Lots."

⇢FLASHBACK

"What's that?" Yunho asks as he drives over to the cemetery, briefly glancing at Seora's lap when he gets a chance.

"You know how I got into crochet kits lately?"

"Yes, I'm reminded by the monthly subscription that goes through on my card." Seora laughs. "You're making good use of it."

"Yeah. I made one from the Hello Kitty line I got in. I made the Little Twinstars." Seora raises the two. "They're holding hands. I know they're siblings but I wanted it to be like.. me and mom."

"That's cute." Yunho smiles a bit.

"I also made this sushi and named it Oishi. It has a little slice of tamago on the top." Yunho laughs.

"You're just like your mom. Inspiring and creative." Seora smiles.

"Then, I made a drawing of our picture."

"It's beautiful."

"And a threaded bracelet."

"Wow, you really got to work." Seora shows her wrist and holds it near her father's by the wheel. 

"She can match us now."

"That's right." Yunho pulls into the cemetery and drives toward the columbarium. He parks near the front doors, letting out a sigh when he shuts off the car. "Ready to go, ace?"

"I am." She nods with a soft smile. Yunho quickly hops out to help Seora out of the passenger seat, shutting her door for her when she climbs out with all her things. Yunho walks alongside of her as they enter the quiet, still building. Seora holds onto her father's arm as they walk down the hall, Yunho leading her through the familiar path towards Eunha.

"Here." He brings her in front of her niche, looking down to see her reaction. She slowly steps forward, her hand touching the glass.

"Mom." She says quietly.

"Go ahead." Yunho hands her the key to unlock the little glass door. She takes it, slowly sliding the key into the lock before twisting it open. 

"Brought you some stuff that I made." She says quietly. Yunho watches with a smile on his face as Seora continues to explain to her mom what each item is and why she brought it. Once the decorations are settled to her liking inside, she lets out a sigh and drops her head. He hears her sniffling, her hand coming up to wipe her tears away.

"Ace?" He comes from behind, hands on her shoulders.

"I just miss her." Is all she says before she turns to dig her head into her father's chest. 

"Oh, ace." Yunho holds her close, gently rubbing her back as she continues to quietly cry— tears a sign of all the pain and sadness she harbored over the years. "I'm so sorry, babygirl." He whispers against the top of her head before placing a small kiss to the surface.

The days and nights of longing for a mother's love, a mother's touch. 

Yearning and needing.

All coming to surface.

"Can we sit here for a bit and talk about mom?"

"Of course."

"I remember some things."

"You do?" Seora nods. She remembers a few core memories from when she was small; they're all bits and pieces, fragments of the past when she wished she had all the puzzle pieces together to see the bigger picture. But, she remembers. She remembers pieces of her mom and that's what matters to her, that's what she'll hold onto tightly.

She remembers when she finally stopped whining and crying during swim class— finding the courage to join the other toddlers in the water to learn how to float and get used to the feeling. She remembers her mom encouraging her with her sweet tone, telling her she believed in her. She remembers the kiss to her forehead, feeling it against her skin like it was just yesterday.

And Yunho listens.

He chimes in with a few other stories from when she was a baby, the two of them giggling and in good spirits while sitting around Eunha. The hour goes by so quickly, it feels like 5 minutes to the two.

⇢END

"That's so sweet."

"Yeah, we spent about a good hour there. Gonna make it our weekend thing besides our little dates and her games."

"Cute." You smile. "You should." The both of you are sipping water, popping in some gum post-meal. "I'm glad you two had that time together and will keep it a part of your schedule."

"Yeah." Yunho leans his head back against the headrest, eyeing you up and down as much as he possibly can from his seat. "Come here, baby." He says lowly, subtly licking his lips.

"Hm?" You hum, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks.

"C'mere." He gives you a look, adjusting his seat back to make room for you.

"Babe, people might see us!" You say, even though you're already preparing to take your seat on your man's lap. 

"And I do not give a fuck." He laughs. "They can have a free show." He watches as you climb over, straddling his lap. "Besides, you're already here. Did you really have strong opinions about it in the first place?" He looks up at you as you trace his jaw with your thumb. He takes your hand in his, kissing your fingers, your knuckles.

"Maybe, maybe not." 

"Mm, tease, aren't you?" He smirks, lips edging towards yours. He licks his lips, hands gripping at your hips to keep you close. "Hm, pretty girl?" He whispers just as his lips graze yours, followed by a light, feathery kiss. You finally dip forward to lock him into a kiss.

It's soft at first. Sweet. 

Yunho's lips against yours feel perfect. Like it was molded to fit yours, to console you, to keep you safe;

Like it was made to love you.

Your hands fall to his cheeks, thumb pads grazing the surface, his jaw. The kiss deepens quick, tongues moving together in a slow dance. Yunho grip on your hips tightens, egging you to move on him. 

And you do just that.

Slowly, eagerly. With intent, meaning.

"Yunho." You breathe out, trapping him into another kiss just as he bites onto your bottom lip and tugs it back. 

"Yeah, baby?" He whispers, hand coming up behind your neck; fingers threading through your hair to keep you close. 

"Wish we could be home right now."

"Say the word and I'll take you home." You giggle against his lips, pecking him once more.

"You've gotta pick up Seora later."

"I can stop by yours before I do." He leans forward to continue kissing you like there's no tomorrow. "I plan to tell Seora tonight, by the way." You pause, hands still cupping his cheeks.

"A-are you sure, love?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He rubs at the sides of your thighs, but you sit back— titling your head as you look at him.

"Maybe we should wait a bit more? You just took her to the cemetery to see her mom, Yu. She might need time."

"She'll be okay. I just.. I wanna tell her sooner than later. Or else, I'll feel like it's never the right time and that's unfair to you."

"Well, she's the one who matters the most."

"I promise she'll be fine. You trust me, right?"

"I do. It's not that. I'm just not sure how she'll react." It's true, you don't know how she'll react and that's what you're afraid of. You're afraid she'll take it the wrong way, you're afraid she'll never look past it. You're afraid she'll never accept this.

And if she doesn't, then it'll be something you'll have to accept.

Seora will always come first and you will never do anything to challenge that. To break her beautiful relationship with her father, to ruin her comfort zone.

"Either way, it's going to be an adjustment, but we'll make this work."

"Together?"

"Always." His eyes fall to your lips before he dips in for another sweet, long kiss. You giggle after awhile, breaking the kiss to look at your phone.

"Fuck. Maybe we should head back." You flash your phone at him, seeing there's only about 10 minutes left of break." Yunho sighs, groaning a bit.

"Fine."

"Grump." You joke as you climb back into the passenger's seat.

"No seriously, can I pop in before I pick up Seora?"

"Yunho." You pinch his arm. "And be late to pick her up? Absolutely not."

"Ah— okay." He pouts as he starts up the car and begins to head back toward the hospital. "Are you working from home any day this week?"

"Maybe." You laugh, and he wiggles his eyebrows. You swear Yunho is such a dork, but you fall for him more and more every day. 

"There's my invite." 

"You're too much." He slides his free hand into yours, kissing the surface.

"Just love my time with you, that's all." He smiles softly. Yunho looks at you, and he just feels love. He feels lucky to have found someone again who understands him, takes him for him and is willing to love him and all that he comes with. 

He doesn't want to lose that.

Even though he knows it'll be tough, he doesn't want to lose that.

The ride back to work is quiet besides the tiny kisses shared before hopping out to get back to your offices. You've got a few hours left in your workday, and for Yunho, it's a little longer in comparison with all the tickets he's helping the team with. He's also got a check-in meeting to finalize the plans for the new unit before he can wrap up and call it a day.

All in a day's work.

"Hey." He hears a familiar voice as he straps in his backpack and throws his hat on before heading out for the afternoon.

"What's up?" Yunho looks at Seonghwa with a small smile. "You look beat."

"I am." 

"Didn't you see Yoori earlier?" Seonghwa walk alongside of his bestfriend as they head out to the staff garage.

"Yeah. That didn't go all that well."

"Well, how do you expect her to act?" Seonghwa shrugs.

"I don't know, but quite frankly, I'm getting kinda tired of it."

"What?" Yunho snorts. "You wanted the casual, lowkey thing."

"Yeah, but things were kinda changing. Now, we barely even do anything. We don't go out, we don't have fun. Nothing. It's usually a quick outing to eat or else we stay at each other's places."

"Isn't that the point of lowkey and casual?" Yunho looks at him. "What's making you second guess? Noeul and the whole club thing?"

"Maybe?" Yunho shakes his head.

"Figure it out first. Don't get Noeul wrapped up in this even more if you aren't sure."

"I feel bad, I brushed her off earlier."

"Exactly, Hwa. Don't do that. Not only cause she's Y/N's friend, but you don't string someone along because you want a fun backup." Hwa sighs.

"It's not even just that."

"Then?" Yunho unlocks his car and tosses his backpack in the trunk.

"I don't know."

"Figure it out, my guy. Wouldn't hurt to get expedited shipping on that either. Someone's gonna end up real hurt if you aren't honest about what you want and need right now." Hwa sighs. "Can never be simple with you, can it?"

"Anyway. Did you see Y/N earlier?"

"Mhm. Of course." Yunho chuckles.

"Are you still planning to tell ace tonight about you two?"

"I think so, yeah. I kinda just wanna rip the bandaid off."

"Goodluck. I'm sure she'll be fine eventually. But, let me know how it goes."

"Deflecting." Yunho teases making Seonghwa roll his eyes as he starts to back away towards the direction of his car.

"Fuck off, alright? Tell ace I said hi." Yunho chuckles before sliding into his car and heading out to pick up his daughter and his tiny-but-not-so-tiny bestfriend. He parks in the school's lot, walking over to the gym to catch the tail end of practice. He watches as they run their last play of the evening, running a few minutes over time. Coach calls it, yelling out the play until the girls run it all the way through in perfection. Yunho nods, loving these moments when he can see his baby girl in action. He greets a few of other parents before watching Seora drag herself to the locker room to grab her things and head home. "Hey ace." Yunho says when he sees Seora dragging her huge duffle bag along. He laughs and takes it from her, slinging the strap over his shoulder. "How was practice?"

"God, awful. We ran so many of the plays just to get a feel for it for the next playoff game."

"That's good."

"Not good. My legs are beat." She looks up at him as she sips her water bottle. "What's dinner?"

"Was thinking we could just do kimchi-jjigae."

"Mm. Yum!" She says, throwing her backpack in the trunk once it's popped open. "Sounds good right about now."

"Yeah, doesn't it?" When the trek home begins, Seora starts to tell her father about her day and how much of a good day she had. None of her friends were out sick, and they got to watch movies in a couple of her classes. The more he hears her talk about her day, the more he feels the guilt building in the pit of his stomach.

Because he would be the reason that would change.

The reason why her day would ended on such a dramatic, life-changing note.

But, he keeps himself strong— keeps his decision firm because he knows he just has to do it. He looks at her and cherishes her smile and her laugh, hoping he could still see those same bright features once he lays it all out for her. For the future.

He hopes he doesn't lose his baby girl.

When they get home, they greet your parents through the kitchen window and more guilt settled into the pit of his stomach realizing that would be the next step.

You, handling your parents. Hoping they'd support you in this relationship.

Yunho kicks off his shoes and Seora races to the bathroom to shower and get comfy. He decides to get the kimchi-jjigae and rice going before washing up for the night and getting into some pajamas. By the time everything's finished, Seora is already sitting at the table watching her show while Yunho brings over the hot pot of kimchi-jjigae to the center of the table. He grabs their bowls to put some rice inside before setting them down next to the pot They say their grace before digging in, Yunho indulging in the show she has on. She explains the current plot, keeping her father up to date on all the drama that's happened so far. They talk about other shows and upcoming movies in between, Seora basically planning one of their dates as another movie date.

This time, at a different theater. One that has different themes in each theater room, and it switches out almost every month. 

Yunho just agrees, wanting to take Seora anywhere just so she could be happy and they can spend time together outside of the house. When dinner is done, Yunho and Seora clean up the dishes and close out the kitchen, but Seora finds it a good time to dig for some dessert to balance out the savory meal they've had.

Yunho also finds it a good time to just cut to the chase.

Let her know what's been going on.

"Ace."

"Hm?" She digs through the fridge.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"If it's about me being head deep into the fridge to find dessert, I'm sorry dad, but I have no regrets." Yunho chuckles.

"No. Listen to me." She shuts the fridge emptyhanded.

"We need more desserts."

"Noted." Seora senses the shift in his tone. The dip.

"What is it, daddy?"

"I've... been seeing someone for awhile now."

"Like friends? I see my friends all the time?"

"No, dating. As in a relationship."

"Dating? Relationship?"

"Yeah." Yunho swallows the lump in his throat when he sees the smile on her face die and turn into a frown. Here it goes.

"Dating?" She repeats in utter disbelief. "So, what was the weekend all about?"

"What does the weekend have to do with what I'm telling you, baby girl?"

"Mom? Visiting her?" She scoffs. "Do you even remember Mom like that, or are you just replacing her with someone because it doesn't even matter anymore? Replacing her with someone who knows where the freaking juice is in the fridge—"

"Seora." Yunho furrows his brows. "Hey, stop that. You do not say that to me. I never said she was replacing your mom. I could never. I just wanted to tell you when the time felt right—" He falters. She stares back at him— expression unreadable at first, then her eyes flicker. "It isn't about forgetting her at all."

"It's about you. It's all about you!" Her tone raises. "You moved on. You moved on and didn't think I'd notice. You're clearly forgetting about her and moving on. You literally don't even care—"

"Seora, that's enough!" She scoffs again, rolling her eyes as she turns to head towards her room. "I thought you'd respond better than that."

"What do you expect me to say, dad? Congrats?!" She pauses and shakes her head. "Whatever. Have fun playing house with your new girlfriend."

"Seora!" She slams the door to her room, leaving Yunho dumbfounded in the living room. His jaw ticks, and he's not sure how to navigate this. Seora has never been this mad at Yunho and vice versa; sure, he's had to calmly discipline her before and correct mistakes, but they've never had this big of an argument.

Whenever they'd disagree, he knew it could easily be salvaged. They'd talk about it, Yunho would fix things patiently. They'd get back to the way they were. Seora would take her lessons to heart and wouldn't make the same mistake again because she'd never wanna disappoint her father, the most important man in her life. Her bestfriend.

Now, it doesn't feel so easily salvageable. Yunho has never seen her so mad. He's never felt this much anger and disappointment. He's not sure how long it'll take to blow over, or how they'd even move past this.

All he can do is sigh, running his hand through his hair before he mutters a short 'fuck' to himself. He cleans the living room and shuts off the lights for the night, sadly heading to bed when Seora doesn't come out for the rest of the evening. No goodnight's, no 'I love you's,' no hugs. And Yunho knows he shouldn't let them go to bed like this, but he knows she needs time. He needs time. He doesn't wanna make this worse, and he doesn't wanna do anything to hurt her more.

But, he expected this. He should've known. So, why doesn't he feel prepared at all? 

Where does he go from here?

"Hey babe." Yunho feels himself relax a bit as he settles into his sheets, letting out a small sigh. "You okay?"

"I don't know. Definitely did not go as planned." You feel your heart beating against your chest, anxiety slightly rising. Of course it didn't go well. You also expected it, so why don't you feel prepared at all? 

What a silly question to ask, Y/N.

"I'm sorry." You respond softly. "Maybe she really just needed time, Yu."

"I guess. Maybe it is my fault." He says defeatedly. "I don't think any other time would've been the right time, and I think she would've reacted this way regardless." He sighs. "But, part of me really hoped she'd be open to it. I don't know what to say to her, I don't know what to do. We've never been in an argument like this."

"Don't push her any further on this, okay? Let it settle and talk about it with her when things feel better."

"Yeah."

"We'll get through this, remember?"

"Mmyeah." He tries to be positive, but it's already killing him how upset Seora is. The silence on the phone is telling, and the silence is enough to scare you. It only makes you fear telling your mom even more, knowing she won't be supportive of it either.

You've talked about the possibilities, so why don't the both of you feel prepared?

⇢taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @nopension @curse-of-art @thechaotictheoryy @likexaxdaydream @dalsuwaha @enha-stars @yasuraokaa @professormingisglasses @yunyunrin @pommelex @astral-trashcan @laura1399 @domfikeluva @tournesol155 @hwaskookies @yusalterego @hwa-stars @hyukssunflower @chngbnwf @jaytheatiny @lucid-galaxys-world @chaotic-floral @sofkloster @honeyrecommends @hwashua-luv @luvv4bby @spicxbnny @pandyandy71 @sanniesaurus @angel-hyuckie @wolviejex @purpleyou7x @honeyhotteoks @woovalin @piecessoull @prodsh00ky @seesawsaredangerous

[wendeeesaucy]

Prob people have talked about this before but I really like analyzing the little micro expressions and lines from Astarion. Specifically I wanted to talk about the line he has when he tries different lines to flirt with tav/durge.

So I got that scene during the tiefling party after already spending the night with him before. I'm guessing you can get that scene after the party if you're approval wasn't high enough to have been with him already but I'm going with my playthrough.

Personally, I like the flow of it better. Tav/durge has already established a sort of companions (barely friends) with benefits sort of situation with him and having this sort of banter seems to fit well. I think it's also one of those few early moments tav/durge is hinting that they know that he's one for manipulating and embellishing words in their relationship (like in an earlier scene where you could figure out that his smile is too perfect and that you shouldn't believe a word he says).

It's awareness, it's playfulness. Because tav/durge is explaining that they are in on this facade but still stringing themselves along, almost as if they're agreeing with this being an odd relationship of trysts and dalliances in an otherwise perilous adventure that they all have no idea if they'll make it out from.

That's how this flirty, teasing back and forth starts. You can keep up the 'yeah, haha, try harder because I'm not falling for it' options and that only motivates him to throw more ridiculously flowery lines.

Though ironically the one about 'it's as if the gods made you just to ruin me' is pretty accurate because tav/durge essentially ruins him/his plans especially for a spawn Astarion ending. But that's not the one I'm most interested in every time I watch this scene. It's the 'I love you' one.

Now, we are going with the idea that this banter since the beginning was all in good fun. Tav/durge knows what this is leading to, this is just banter to go along with the eventual yes that will surely follow to spend another night with him. While the first few flirting lines starting from 'here's my little treat' were a build up from the next, the last one seems oddly misplaced and a curve ball to me. We go from physical aspects to suddenly jumping to a less tangible and deeper way of expressing interest, love.

It doesn't help that we get this face to go along with it, which already is vastly different to the smirks and smug expressions we got seconds before.

Sure, you could argue that this was his way of throwing tav/durge off so they could stop being smug themselves at finding his flirty words ridiculous because he goes right back to being normal afterwards. But the thing about Astarion is that sometimes a lot of times he's bad at hiding his emotions. He lets words slip without thinking or a micro expression happens for just a split second but it's noticeably there especially on a second or third playthrough.

So to me, when I see this expression, I personally think this is a genuine face and a somewhat genuine answer.

Now you'd think I'm just falling for his manipulations but the reason I can't seem to shake that thought is because in his act 2 scene where he says 'no matter how much I'd like to' when he talks about how difficult it is being with someone and essentially caring about them deeply, we get this same expression.

It's literally the same expression, the same vulnerability except now we have more honesty and context to what it means. Tav/durge by now has learned to read him better and understand when he's being truthful. And not even just his face, his voice going softer in both scenes too!

So when we go back to that flirting lines scene, it really feels out of place and for good reason. I've heard people say it's him testing the waters and I personally think so too! He's gotten tav/durge in this place of teasing 'haha, all in good fun' mood and uses that to his advantage to throw them off by seeing how they'd react to him of all people saying I love you suddenly to them. Would they be disgusted? Tell him, yeah in his dreams? Or would they be shocked, because it sounded too good to be true? That they would like it to be true too?

It might also be his way of just blurting out a thought he's had for some time, especially if you've already spend the night with him before the party and gotten to know him a little better. By then, he's already seen tav/durge help him a few times and successfully done something as the party leader, making him question just who this person is to him. After all, he's had no choice but to acknowledge this person's existence because they are not another target that's bound to disappear like the others he's bedded before.

So when looking further into the scene, he's not only testing tav/durge on their reactions but also himself and how he personally feels about that statement. He probably wants to see how it sounds in reality, not as some random thought to be forgotten. And maybe, just maybe he could see himself believing that to be true.

He might not be in love with tav/durge to the degree that he does in act 2 but I'd argue he was def falling by then if he felt throwing that line into the open was necessary.

And when you end it off with the 'having fun, are you?' line and get him to say 'I am. It's hard not to with you' it really feels like you're getting a tiny bit closer to wedging yourself into his heart.

[usercowboy]

i think character bleed is just something so awesome but it only works if you're a little bit gay and a little bit crazy about it. only works if you're both a bit insane about each other and so are your characters. because then you have characteractor or actorcharacter and it doesn't actually matter which comes first because it's this big open gaping wound that bleeds and it's the only reason why you get to fuck him. only reason why he's on his knees for you. only reason why he trails kisses down your neck in the trailer in between scenes, you mumbling "shit, no marks". he barely listens. you like that he barely listens because the character wouldn't listen, he'd dive in hungrier, and the makeup department already has to cover up all of y'all's tattoos anyway. what's a bruise on the hinge of your jaw, really, in the grand scheme of things? you stopped being able to separate the character from you a long time ago, but mostly whenever he's around. he refers to you by your character's name in interviews and you do the same for him, and it's fine and this is normal because if you separate the two you won't be able to look at the fact that you still want to fuck him, still want to get him on his knees, still want him to trail kisses down your neck. and you do and you know you do, but so does the character so it's fine to admit it. it doesn't have to mean anything. so it doesn't. because it can't. 👍

[baphometsss]

I think you've missed a few things here.

But he ultimately says the vow he made earlier to Mythal outweighs what happened in Inquisition.

He doesn't say this. What he says is that the guilt over his failure of his former master and oldest friend (which led to her death) is too overwhelming for him to consider backing down, even though he desperately wants to. It's driven home repeatedly that he loves his friends in the Inquisition enough to almost abandon his plans, he has an entire room, the brightest room in the Lighthouse, dedicated to his memories of his time in the Inquisition. It is just his sense of duty and guilt gets in the way of him fully doing this, fully allowing himself to be happy, because he doesn't believe he deserves it. Yet he leaves clue after clue anyway, because he can't help himself. He repeatedly involves himself in Inquisition business, like the Dragon's Breath plot and the events of the Teahouse in The Dread Wolf Take You. (In fact he explicitly says that he got personally involved there bc the Inquisition was involved.) In the memory of his murder of Mythal, she even points out that it is his grief over her death and the effect of the Veil on the elven people that motivates him, not just the imprisonment of the Evanuris or his revenge. In other words, even Mythal's words are not enough for him to stop. He driven by guilt, a guilt that is so overwhelming that it transcends the object of the guilt (Mythal and the elven people); that is his ultimate motivation. Remember that the ancient elves were highly emotional beings; they didn't just feel emotions, they embodied emotions.

Re: his description of Mythal, he is doing what a lot of grieving people do where they know the person was bad but they loved them anyway--much like how abused children still love their parents despite the abuse. If the abuser dies, it can make things even more complicated and difficult to reconcile with. The truth is that Mythal contained multitudes because she was a person, not just a spirit anymore, and because, up until DAI at least, Solas only bonds like a spirit (i.e., more simply). It is difficult for him to reconcile all those complexities with the much simpler environment their friendship formed in, an environment where she was simply 'Benevolence' (or Justice depending on which Dragon Age we're talking about lol). That's why they refer to each other as 'old friends', because they became friends as spirits, when things were a lot simpler--before they were elves.

As for Mythal being the only thing that makes him stop--this also isn't true. If you were paying attention to the memory of the post-credits scene from DAI, you will know that Mythal already asked him to stop, and he would not, and she knew he would not. Because she alone wasn't enough. He was already too far gone, he had already almost destroyed the world with the Breach and he had already killed and betrayed his friends and/or lover. That is why she helps the Inquisition through Morrigan, because she knows that it is only with her support AND the support of his friends and/or lover that he will be able to let go of his plans. Neither one of them alone was enough, which is why they are working together--something that lies in direct contrast to Solas's insistence on working alone and refusing all help, even from those who love him, like Varric, Felassan, the Inquisitor, and even Mythal.

If you read Mythal as being the only thing that can get Solas to stop, it renders all the events of the previous two games pointless. The Inquisition changes him so radically that he almost considers stopping altogether. He leaves countless clues for the Inquisition to follow him when he says he doesn't want to be stopped, that he's on the di'nan'shiral or whatever. He only doesn't because of guilt and the magnitude of what his actions have done to the world, a magnitude that he himself says is far greater than the needs and desires of a single man. The world is more important to him than his own happiness and this is where that guilt comes from, because he failed it so badly.

The problem with this game is that it oversimplifies things to an embarrassing extent, to the point that most players said they felt incredibly patronised by it. We know that Solas's motivations are complex, and not just motivated by Mythal or how he failed her, yet the game beats us over the head with Mythal to the point that all his other, more complex and interesting motivations, fall by the wayside. Mythal also didn't deserve to be reduced to something so flat and uninteresting. That magnitude of failure and destruction that he has been so preoccupied with since he first woke up from uthenera is almost entirely ignored by the narrative.

I told my friend about how much that difference broke my heart, because it truly shows that Solas will change EVERYTHING about himself to do whatever he thinks is best/required of him. He isn’t innocent, no, not even close. At his core though, he is still there. He is still wanting to have better, do better, be better.

He does this because he is a manifested spirit, and spirits exist to reflect. The endings are all reflections of how the player chose to treat him. He only calls himself a God if you treat him with contempt and hatred; he reflects that contempt back. If you treat him with empathy and understanding (as 72% of players did), he will respond by doing what he always wanted to do, which was to leave the world behind and build a new future as Wisdom once more, potentially with his true love at his side.

The whole 'refuge for Mythal' thing is really interesting bc it shows that Solas really saw Mythal as being on his side when it couldn't be more obvious that she enjoyed the power of being queen of the Evanuris. He calls it a 'struggle' in the regret memory, but I don't think she was struggling as much as he thinks. Even Felassan realises how delusional he is about her. It's one of many things Solas is in denial about.

That said, it does seem like he was much more aware of Elgar'nan's evil than she was; I truly believe that Mythal found a kindred spirit in Elgar'nan and thought that she was the right one for him. She tempered him and mitigated the harm he did as much as she could (which doesnt seem to be that much, in all honesty). Whether or not they had romantic feelings for each other is up for debate, but I think it's very possible. There was likely an element of tension at being evenly matched in the way they were that gave their relationship a pathological edge. It was only when Solas told her about the Evanuris using the power of the Blight that she finally decided to take him seriously and challenge her husband and the rest of the Evanuris head-on.

It's also really revealing that the Blight was her final straw. Mythal obviously had no issue with slavery as long as her slaves were treated well. It's very reminiscent of real world attitudes some had towards their slaves ie that as long as you don't abuse them it's okay. They don't understand the fundamentally unethical nature of owning another person. It's why I don't buy the benevolence retcon because slavery is inherently cruel--something that both Solas and an elven Inquisitor can argue with Dorian about.

Yeah, Solas really is an unreliable narrator with Mythal and I really wish we'd had more perspectives other than his. I long to see Mythal in all her cunty glory but alas it will never be

[pritong-baboy]

Something about Shockwave asking for forgiveness in the latest chapter just makes me JPDPDJVKFPBKFPBRKBPRBPAksPON/pos

I can't stop thinking about a very very desperate and distressed Shockwave begging Bumblebee to forgive him for everything, that he'll even join the Autobots if he just stays.

They're so doomed by the narrative I want to EXPLODE

thank you for enjoying that scene!! have a doodle i did after i wrote it lol

[anettzzt]

Hello aftg fandom, what do you think about my JereJean art?

I know, many of us have been thinking about scene like this where Jeremy would grab Jean's cross and then they would kiss or whatever –

For now I'm not gonna stop hoping that something like this will happen in the third book.

• I've been drawing in my sketchbook for months and my arts were shown to my closest people only. But who am I without other people's opinion so here we go.

• I still can't imagine Jean and Jeremy with a specific appearance, so their faces will look different every time sorry 😔

Any opinion is appreciated, thank you 🙏

[semperama]

I can't stop thinking about this. Ryliver, E, 1300 words. Yes, I'm posting Ryliver on main. No, this is not the Ryliver WIP I should have been working on. No regrets.

---

Afterward, Oliver tries to bolt, but no such luck.

“So, what did it?” Ryan asks, suddenly at his elbow. Oliver’s legs are longer, and he could probably outrun him—even imagines himself doing it—but he would only incriminate himself more. He can still play dumb, maybe.

“What did what?” he asks. His trailer is like fifty yards away, tops. But he makes the mistake of looking at Ryan, meeting his eyes, and Ryan lifts his eyebrows and pointedly looks down, and Oliver—chokes on nothing, grabs Ryan by the bicep, tugs him through a door and onto an abandoned set.

It’s Buck’s old loft, still not fully dismantled. Great.

“Was it my brilliant acting?” Ryan asks, totally unfazed. He isn’t even trying to get out of Oliver’s grasp. His bicep flexes under Oliver’s palm, and Oliver lets go like he’s been given an electric shock. “Was it your brilliant acting? Because I get it, man.”

“Fuck. No. Jesus.” He should have sucked it up and waited until they made it to his trailer. In here, with Ryan next to him, the kitchen island at his back, the stairs to their left, he still feels a little like Buck. He can still hear Buck in his head. He can hear Buck hearing Eddie—"the trials and tribulations of Evan Buckley”—and he’s still—

He’s still fucking hard.

“Was it the shove?” Ryan asks. Wide grin, pointy teeth. On their second take, Ryan’s shoulder grab was a little too aggressive, knocked him back hard into the cabinets, and in the heat of the moment, Oliver had shoved him back, chest heaving. The director let it go, but at the end of the scene, he said, let’s pull it back a little this time, and Oliver had to squeeze his hands into tight fists to ground himself, calm himself down.

They did three more takes after that, and Oliver’s dick hadn’t behaved for a single fucking one of them. And he knew—he knew everyone could see it. Knew Ryan could see it. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier to get rid of. If anything, it made it worse.

“Did you not—” Oliver shuts his mouth quick, clack of teeth rattling around in his skull. The thing is, Ryan’s joking. He’s acting like it’s a joke. But Oliver’s cock is aching against the zipper of his jeans, and it doesn’t feel funny. He tries again: “Did you not feel it?”

Ryan’s canines leave white points in his bottom lip as his smile fades, goes rigid at the edges. “Feel what?”

Wrong thing to say. Suddenly, Oliver smells blood in the water. Ryan knows Eddie, and Oliver knows Buck, so the tension had to be palpable to both of them. Ryan’s not doing himself any favors playing dumb. “You know what,” Oliver says, taking a step forward. Ryan’s back is to the door. Buck’s door. “Why were we even fighting like that? Like a—a—”

“Married couple?” Ryan’s voice is light. He’s still trying to be funny, but it falls flat. His face is getting red, those perfect scarlet circles painted on his cheekbones.

“Not a married couple,” Oliver says, firm. “Not even lovers.”

Ryan’s shoulders lift with a deep, silent breath, and Oliver knows he gets it. “Like two people who don’t know they’re lovers yet.”

“Like we’re avoiding it.” Oliver sounds breathless, but he doesn’t fucking care anymore. “Like we’re scared of it.”

Ryan’s face is bright red now, and he’s not meeting Oliver’s eyes. Oliver takes another step without thinking, and he doesn’t realize how close they’ve gotten until Ryan’s back hits the door and Oliver can feel the air move when his breath rushes out of him.

Oliver gets about half a second to enjoy the upper hand before Ryan says, so quiet, “Buck.”

This isn’t their first kiss. That was right after season four, when Buck—when Oliver couldn’t stop looking at his hands and seeing red, but they knew nothing was going to come of it, and it was frustrating as fuck, and all he wanted to do was taste copper from Ryan’s mouth.

It isn’t even their second kiss, which was drunk and sloppy, after they were done filming the bachelor party.

But it’s the first time—after Ryan hooks his index fingers in Oliver’s belt loops and yanks—that Oliver feels Ryan hard against him, and he’s confronted, suddenly, with the fact that this isn’t a whim. This isn’t just BuckandEddie. This is licking a muffled groan from the seam of Ryan’s mouth and wanting to taste nothing else ever again. Wanting to leave this room and still remember it, still have it.

“Say it again,” he says against Ryan’s mouth, but he kisses him again, hard, before he can. He reaches down to peel Ryan’s hands away from his waist and threads their fingers together, presses them against the door by Ryan’s head. “Say it.”

“Buck,” Ryan says. “Buck, Buck.”

Oliver’s been hard for-fucking-ever, for hours, off and on, at this point. When he thrusts up into the cut of Ed—Ryan’s hip, it feels like relief, a little shower of sparks cascading down his spine with each roll of his hips. Ryan tugs one of his hands free and grabs a handful of his ass—huge palm making Oliver gasp—and pulls him in harder, and Oliver starts preparing himself to be embarrassed, because this isn’t going to take long at all. Hours of foreplay. Hours of Ryan’s low voice stroking against the pleasure points in his brain. Hours of trying to keep it together, and now he doesn’t have to.

“Eddie,” Oliver says, just above a whisper, but Ryan lets out a breathy sound that’s almost a laugh and nips at Oliver’s bottom lip, sharp sharp teeth, soft flick of his tongue.

“Ollie,” Ryan says, almost back to playful again, and that’s it. Oliver is gone. He pushes his hips against Ryan’s once, twice more, and then he’s coming in his pants, dropping his head to gasp against Ryan’s shoulder, his spine curling.

Ryan’s broad hand is still clutching at him, still pulling him in, and he’s vaguely aware of the little explosions of oversensitivity that are sending tremors through his legs, but it’s fine when Ryan is holding him up, huffing hard in his ear, then groaning as he follows Oliver over the edge, saying Oliver’s name again in that deep, rough voice that’s been torturing him all evening.

“Fuck,” Oliver breathes once it’s over. His face is still pressed against the meat of Ryan’s shoulder, and his hands flatten against the door to hold himself up, to keep himself from sinking to the floor like he wants to.

“Mmm,” Ryan hums, as if in agreement. It takes Oliver a minute to realize his shoulders are shaking—with laughter, he realizes. Not regret, at least.

“What is it?” Oliver asks, lifting his head enough to look Ryan in the eye.

“It’s just—” The color is still high in his cheeks. Scarlet red. His mouth is red too, and Oliver wants to kiss him again so badly. “It’s just, costuming is gonna fucking kill us.”

Oliver dissolves into giggles, and his knees dissolve too, but Ryan holds him up, pulling him in until they’re pressed together everywhere, impossible to tell where one of them ends and the other begins.

“Come to my trailer,” Oliver says. “We’ll change, and I’ll take everything to the dry cleaners in the morning.” They’ll bring all the clothes back in a couple days, pretend they just forgot to turn them in, and no one will ever have to know.

He and Ryan will know, though. Ryan tilts his head up to press their mouths together again, quick but firm, and Oliver breathes him in, the familiar scent of him, the familiar shape their bodies make. The two of them will know, will always know, now, and that’s good. That’s so fucking good.

[youwannadance]

i can't stop thinking about Lou's interview. so many of the things he said keep me up at night. so i'm gonna take you for a ride in my little clown car under the cut. that being said, i still think interviews don't matter that much. what matters is what's on the screen and it's obvious where that is going....now let's go 🤡

what backstory? like at the very least we're gonna learn more about Tommy next season, but i'm expecting something next episode too. right now, i expect the last scene of next episode be all of them talking about Bobby, sharing what he meant to them (not too sure how much of it we'd see tho) with Bobby's ghost watching them and smiling, which i'm getting from a bts picture that absolutely doesn't need to mean that and an interview that could've been just Lou yapping

this just has me all 👀

then we have all of the talk about love. which.......i'm clowning okay? was Lou told "act like you're watching the love of your life"? is that his own interpretation of what's going on between them? (in that case - it's still interesting. because the last time they had a conversation, it was interrupted by the military. and it was a simple "i'm doing it for you too", not "you're the love of my life" kind of thing. would he call buck the love of tommy's life based on that? 🤔) or are we about to have something that's gonna kill us the next episode?

*insert a screenshot of him calling them soulmates that got lost somewhere 😂*

also - just remembered that Buck said something similar imo - brought up marriage and called his relationship with Tommy the most transformative relationship of his life. just putting that out there, idek where i'm going with that 😂

then we have this. the long pause before he says "Katey", during that, her smile grows bigger and bigger. and then his smirk when he says "from when i watched, i mean, there's - you don't just get rid of a spark" (something along those lines). i find his body language during this moment fascinating. i'm reading it as "Katey, i'd love to yap about all of it and give you all of the answers because i know you'll like it, but i just CAN'T DO THAT". but what do i know? 🤷🏻‍♀️

besides of "something that's true", we also have the whole highlighted quote here, which again, has me all 👀 being vulnerable? COMMITTING you say?

POST FUNERAL you say? we all thought (or like from what i've seen) the funeral would be at the beginning of the episode, but it was at the end. which completely changes the meaning of this. is he telling us that he's in the last episode? and all of what he said is going to happen then, in some form? nevertheless, it's very interesting....👀. i'm not even sure Tim knows what he wants the next season to look like, so all of this needs to happen in the next episode. i don't think it needs to be 30 minutes long scene, but i think at least some of it has a chance of happening. i'm too scared to speculate on how the reconciliation is going to look like, but i think Tommy could open up about how much Bobby has meant to him to Buck. at least a little bit.

then we have this lol. again, does it scream "i can't talk about all of it right now" to someone else, or am i reading too much into it again?

and the interview ends with Lou saying that we'll like what we're going to see in the next episodes. i'm not sure about this like at all, but doesn't he only know about scenes he's a part of? well if that is the case, then he was last seen in the funeral episode 🤷🏻‍♀️ nothing much to "like" there, is it? AND, i think he knows people are excited about BuckTommy. so like, is he trying to give a hint of what's about to happen? 👀 is he talking about the show in general, because he loves to be a part of it? 👀 nevertheless, what i take away from that is that it ends in a good way, either for Tommy or for all of them (i mean, either he's talking about Tommy or the whole show - i mean there's gonna be plenty good things happening next episode 🤷🏻‍♀️). and again - the last time we saw him was at the funeral...

but now i'm done yapping lol. i went all out with this 🤣. i could, and mostly likely am, at least in some parts, be wrong.🤷🏻‍♀️ i'm trying to maintain my reputation of the biggest clown to ever clown anyways.

[voltronthelostlion]

tell me why i didn't realize this scene is a dirty joke until now—STOP IT I LOVE LANCE HE'S SUCH A GOOF AHAHAHAHA

(season 1, episode 6 for reference)

i've watched season one at least 4 times already, and it's never clicked until now cause I'm rewatching for chapter 32 adhfjsk.

I got the "Girl, you've already activated my particle barrier" joke the first time i watched voltron back in 2017.

(season 1, episode 1 for reference)

i can't believe this. lance lost all his s1 & s2 sparkle—and i know war is traumatic and growing/maturing is inevitable—but he's so silly in the earlier seasons. it makes me sad thinking about what happens to his character in s6, s7, & s8.

seasons 1 and 2 lance—ily <3

[dsireland86]

Imagine if Noah bought for Christmas LED lights that active when you clap (if yk which ones I mean)

I don't think I have to write something more to it.

Cuz we all know why he would buy it...

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 oh good lord 🥵🥵🥵

Tag list:

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lacy1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @kenjipepsi1 @blackveilomens @chey-h @disappearintothegrey @jilliemiw86 @pathion @fear-its-beauty @an0mallly @potterheadquinn @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @montgomery-929494 @missduffsblog @lilcazy011 @Lonelydragonlady @Mattysbitchvic @athenexe @pipidoll @flowery-mess @bloody-spades

I rummage through the bottom drawer of my dresser, searching for the comic book that Nick gave me for my birthday last year just to prove him wrong about a scene in it. He's been arguing with me for days about, telling me I'm the one that's wrong, but I know I'm not, and I'm going to prove it to him.

"Dammit! I know it's in here," growling in frustration, flinging random papers to the side. I lift up another stack of crap and find a box wrapped in pretty red Christmas paper with a smashed red bow on top. I stop and think for a moment and then it hits me. "Oh, shit," I mutter, slamming my palm against my forehead, laughing at myself. "I can't believe I forgot about this!"

The idea came from an ad I saw back around Christmas time. It was a really dirty idea, and I wasn't sure how Y/N would feel about it, so I put the gift somewhere she wouldn’t find it until I was ready to give it to her. It was supposed to be a Christmas Eve gift, but we ended up going over to Matt's instead. I think about it for a moment and wonder if Y/N would actually be up for the idea. I'm hesitant and place the box back in the drawer but when the image of her flashes across my mind the way it does, I don't second guess it, but instead grab the box and head downstairs.

Y/N's curled up on the couch with the same book she's been sucked into for the last two days. Her favorite blanket is draped over her lap and she’s staring hard into the pages before her. Her facial expressions are priceless, making me smile at each one as I gaze at her. She's adorable, hot and feisty, all rolled into one pretty package that's all mine and every time I look at her I think about how lucky I am.

"Hey, babe," feeling my heart flutter the moment she looks up at me. "He good lookin', there you are. I thought maybe you got swallowed up by the deep abyss of junk you call your bottom dresser draw." "Ha ha, very funny," I reply, knowing she can hear the sarcasm in my tone. She goes back to reading her book.

"Do you know who the killer is yet?" "Nope." I sense the slight irritation in her tone. "Don't sound too enthused," I joke sitting down next to her and she sighs loudly. "The killer is about to strike again, and it's about to get gross and gory." "Should I be worried about how excited you are about that?" pointing out her enthusiastically rich tone. "Maybe," she peers up at me sinisterly. I stare at her deadpanned. "Gotcha," she giggles, giving me that beautiful smile of hers.

I can't help but lean over and kiss her, feeling the way she leans in closer to me, pressing her lips harder against mine. I slip a hand behind her neck as she slips her tongue into my mouth, softly rolling it over mine and making me want her. I breathe in deeply, pulling away before things get out of hand. "God, why are your kisses so addictive?" I breathe, resting my forehead against hers. Y/N shrugs and sits back, picking her book up again.

"So, is this the part where everyone gets all bloodied up and then fuck like horny teenagers?" I laugh, pushing the pillow away that she hits me in the face with. "Shut-up! It's not like that." "Not like what? All smutty and romantic with the two main characters taking off their clothes in every chapter?" I look over at her and can't help but chuckle at the cute, little angry face she's wearing. I tap her on the nose as she quickly turns away from me.

"You're so dumb sometimes," she mumbles, rolling her eyes, clearly annoyed at me. "Yeah well you're with me, so I guess that makes you dumb too, then." This time she snickers, and the sweetest smile breaks out across her face. "There it is," I say gazing down at her as she looks up. "Whatever," she mutters. "What's that?" she asks, nodding at the box in my hand. "Oh, uh," I laugh nervously. "This is a Christmas gift for you that I forgot about." "You forgot about it? How do you forget about a Christmas gift," she asks, lacing her arm through mine. "Well, I was a little hesitant about giving it to you." "Why?" I huff a small laugh and throw my hand to the back of my neck, rubbing it as a nervous tick. "Just open. You'll see."

Y/N gives me a confused look, but unwraps the gift anyway. Once the paper's gone, in her hands lies a box of LED lights that activate with any kind of clapping sound and send out waves of soft, bright light over and over and move faster the quicker the clapping becomes. Y/N sits there silently, staring at the box, trying to figure it out.

"Any idea," I ask? "Mmm," she stares a little harder, then shakes her head. "Nope. I have no idea. LED's are your thing, babe," she points out, handing me the box. I take it and turn it over, showing her the part I need her to see. As she reads it, her cheeks turn a slight shade of red, and she covers her mouth with her hand, giggling quietly. "Really, Sebastian! Really!" she cries, tackling me with a pillow.

I'm laughing so hard that I fall back the moment Y/N climbs on me, pushing me until I'm flat on my back and she’s hovering over top of me. I rest my hands on her bottom, gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath them. Her response to my touch sends the right kind of signals to my head and something inside me jolts to life. I hear my breath catch. She touches her nose to mine before kissing the tip.

"I love you," she says so confidently. Those words do something to me every time I hear her say them. "I know," I whisper. "And I never get tired of hearing you say it. Y/N smiles. Her nose brushes against my skin as she presses her lips against the skin of my throat, forcing me to hold my breath, afraid to leave this moment with her. "You really want to try those lights out, don't you?" she asks with her lips still pressed against my neck. I make a sound in the back of my throat, one that's mixed between a laugh and a swallow. "Uh, yeah, I kind of do," I admit, unashamed.

Y/N presses her core into me and heat fills my veins. She rocks against me slow and steady, each move a little harder than the next. I'm losing the battle of resistance, but I can't think, let alone try and stop her. She sits up and shifts until she's straddling me and her hands are pressed against my chest. I take a quick breath, fighting against the sudden rush of pleasure from the heat of her sex pressed right against my dick. She's making it no secret what she wants from me, what she wants me to do to her as begins to sensually rut against me. "You're tormenting me, Princess," I groan when she smiles.  "Then let's go upstairs and open the box. Then let's see who torments who."

I sit up, tossing Y/N off me, and scramble to my feet. Tossing her blankets off, I pull her to her feet and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder and head up the stairs. "Wait, wait, wait," Y/N laughs hysterically, tapping my back. "The box, you forgot to grab the box!" Turning around I make a dash for the box I left on the couch, grab it, and practically run upstairs with Y/N still over my shoulders.

I've got the LED system of lights hooked up in a corner of the bedroom when Y/N comes out of the bathroom from taking a shower. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I'm focused hard on the instructions laying in my lap trying to figure out how to program the remote when I look up and notice her. She's in nothing but a towel, her hair, dark and damp, draped around her shoulders. She looks like something that's just walked out of one of my wet dreams.

"Well, don't you look delicious," I tell her. Blood rushes through my veins, hot and fast, making my erection slowly grow. Y/N makes her way over to me, a sweet grin that's driving me insane, lurking in the corner of her mouth. "Hi."

 "Hi," I grin, looking up at her. Running a finger down her arm, goosebumps appear over her skin that's soft and smells of eucalyptus and mint. Pulling her by the towel closer to me, I wrap my arms around her waist and plant my face on her tummy, breathing in her scent, deeply. Her gentle kiss on the top of my head as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and holds me has me feeling safe and protected. I sigh, resting against her for a moment. I finally pull back, just a bit, to look at her, grazing her bottom lip with my thumb.

"Did you get the lights working?" "Um, yeah," clearing my throat. Raising the remote, hoping my programming worked, I hit the "on" button and we both watch the firework style LED lights come to life. "Wow. It's actually really beautiful!" The light of the different colors reflecting off Y/N's hazel green eyes stirs every nerve ending in my body, forcing them awake. "And watch this," I add, clapping my hands together. The lights respond the way they're meant to and move faster the louder and faster I clap. "Oh, shit, Noah," she chuckles. Her amusement is obvious.

I place my hand on the side of her face and turn her head to look at me. Then she kisses me without any restraint. My heart pounds furiously in my chest as she wraps her arms around my neck and I'm overwhelmed with an intensely dark rush of emotion. The towel falls off her body, onto the floor, and I'm lost in the feel of her bare skin in my hands. "Noah," she mutters against my lips. "Yeah?" "You're still fully clothed." "That's a very good observation," I breathe, clenching my fists to keep from pinning her to the bed.

Her hands tug at my shirt, pulling it over my head. She leans in and kisses my neck, dragging her lips and tongue across the tail between the hand painted on my skin. My eyes fall close. There aren't enough words to describe what I'm feeling, what she's doing to me. Y/N's mine. She's perfect and she wants me and I'm not going to fight it. I don't want to.

"God, you taste so good," Y/N says as she melts into me, her breath quivering as she's pushing me back while still kissing me. I fall backward into the bed gasping as she searches my body through the fabric of my pants for the zipper that will give her access to what she wants. "Yeah? I've got something else that tastes better than my neck," I smirk, breathing through a tight laugh. She pauses and looks up at me. "What do you think I'm looking for?" I groan when she continues her search, arching my back to give her more room to search until she finds it and when she does it's like she can't take my pants off fast enough.

"Damn, someone's in a hurry."  "What can I say," Y/N smiles, climbing back on top of me once she's gotten me fully naked. "You drive me crazy, baby." Her words set my body on fire and before I can stop myself, I pull her into my arms and devour her lips. Her breasts are pressed against my chest and her pretty little clean shaven pussy is right on the threshold of slipping over my swollen length like a glove. Her hair falls forward, grazing my skin, as she takes my hands and slides them down to cup her ass. I groan, squeezing her and smirking as I swallow the sound, diving for her swollen lips again.

"Is this what you want?" I breathe out, my voice raspy. She dives back into the column of my neck, licking and kissing it rapidly. I moan again, louder, longer, against her ear and feeling her skin prickle with goosebumps again. "Tell me, princess. What do you want?" The movements of our bodies are harsh and needy and I think I'll die if she doesn't tell me what I want to hear. I take the tip of my cock, already dripping with precum, and place it against her entrance. Her fingertips dig into my shoulders as she moans, biting her lip.

"I... I want," she gasps as I push my tip slightly between her folds. "I want you, all of you, Noah. I want to feel you deep inside me. With my hands on her ass, I push into her, groaning and grunting loud at the feeling of her soaked walls sliding over my cock. I pull out so only the head is inside her, stretching her wide, then slam back in, her whole body jerking. Y/N cries out, gulping back a moan, as her hands find my hair and run through it, tugging and pulling. I can't hold back anymore. I don't want to.

Picking her up I toss her on the bed, rolling her onto her front. Once I'm behind her, I grab her hips and shift her until she's able to see the LED lights in front of her while positioning her exactly how I want her. "You're going to watch those lights light up like fireworks as I fuck you raw and hard, princess. You got it?"

Y/N releases a forced moan of acknowledgement. I push her down with my hand pressed tightly against the middle of her back while my other hand tangles in her hair and grips it hard, forcing her to look at the lights. I can't control the savage urge in me, my animalistic behavior coming out. I thrust up hard into her, forcing a scream out of her and begin to fuck her hard and fast. The sound of our skin slapping together starts off slowly but quickly speeds up the harder I fuck up into her, bringing the clapping lights to life and lighting the room up beautifully.

"Those lights are fucking beautiful. Look at it princess, look how fast they're lighting up as I fuck this pretty little pussy. You like this? You like it this hard. this fast?" I let her hair go and Y/N's head falls as she adjusts herself, bringing her ass up higher. She grabs the bed sheets, releasing desperate needy moans over and over. "Oh god, Noah you feel so good," she tells me, boosting my confidence. "You like this, princess? Are you strong enough for me to keep going? If not, tell me to stop," I say, panting hard. "I don't want you to stop, baby. Please don't stop. Don't stop," she begs. I pushed further into her, slapping her ass hard and making the lights explode over and over. It's empowering to see what I'm able to do to her.

"I love how you look right now, wet and bent over only for me. I could jerk off to this image for the rest of my life. You'd like that wouldn't you, watching me fall apart and make a mess, painting your body with my cum." "Fuck, Noah," she moans, clenching she sheets tighter. "I'm about to cum," she whines, gasping one more time. "No, no, I want to watch you come undone on me," pulling out quickly to switch positions.

Soon, I have her on top, riding me. "You're so damn beautiful, you know that," I tell her, kneading her breasts, pinching her nipples, and watching how she enjoys me being inside her. The noise she's making makes my dick twitch, making it throb as I hit that spot that's got her completely wrecked. The colorful lights fill the room, obviously working with the sounds of our loud love making perfectly and the way they reflect in the background paint Y/N's body in a sensually dark state, creating shadows on her face. She tightens her thighs around me, pressing her hands hard against my chest. Her nails dig into the colors of my tattoos as my throat tightens and I grit my teeth, fighting the urge to come hard inside her.

"I love you," Y/N says breathlessly. "Terribly. Like so much," lacing her hands in mine and pinning them on either side of my head. The way she starts grinding on me has me choking back moans. "Yeah? How much?" gripping her hips tighter. "Like a crazy fucking amount," she whispers in my ear, making me shiver. "That sounds dangerous." "It is," she nods, looking deeply into my eyes.

I reach up and kiss her, attacking her mouth like a starved man. I wrap my arms around her once she lets me go, holding her tight, holding her close as she makes love to me. It's no longer about who can make who cum first. It’s about pouring our love into one another completely. Her hands are in my hair, my fingers run down her back, and soon Y/N is panting, moaning softly as she lets go of my hair to clench around my shoulders, holding onto me and biting the skin right above my collarbone, as she cums hard, soaking my cock with her sweet tasting juices. It doesn't take long for me to follow her, filling her insides with my seed until it's seeping out of her and onto the sheets.

We’re both breathless, completely wrecked and fucked out of our minds. Y/N collapses into me, burying her face into my neck. "Up for another shower," I ask softly. "Only if you come with me, again." I chuckle at her reference. "Absolutely, princess. I'll come with you wherever, whenever you want me to.” The kiss we share is simple and sweet. I brush the hair out of her face and smile at her. "I love you." "I love you too," she replies, planting another kiss on my lips. "Do you like your gift?" referring to the lights. "You mean the gift you forgot about?" I chuckle. "You're not going to let me live it down are you?" "Nope. Wait till I tell the guys. Then it'll be worse." "Oh, god, no," I groan, squeezing my eyes shut while grinning. "Are you going to tell them all the details about how we tried them out, too?” standing up and walking toward the bathroom with her still in my arms "Only if you want me to." The mischievous grin spreading over her lips has me spinning out of control again. "Better not. They might like that too much. And you're only mine. You belong to only me." Y/N tightens her legs around me, hugging me tight. "And I love that. Yours," she mutters as we enter the bathroom. "Mine," I whisper," closing the door behind us and locking us inside, away from the rest of the world.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, I can't stop thinking about the way Eddie is always a little bit to late, always the last to know, he was the last one to see Shannon, he was the last one to know about Chris and Buck being at the tsunami, he was the last one to look up when Buck got struck by lightning, he was the last one to find out about Bobby. And I can't stop thinking about what that means for buddie and the way Buck and Ravi are trapped and Eddie is possibly about to storm that scene after being the last one to know again. They need to talk about all those events, Eddie's will, the shooting, the lightning, all these huge things that affected them deeply and they've been tiptoeing around not to mess with the status quo, and MY GOD I'm going crazy here, the possibilities to give Buck and Eddie a redux of the shooting that forces them to talk.

[sexcromancy]

okay I know everyone has been clamoring to find out wtf I mean by season 6 is about itself so it's time to spill. I first started thinking about this around once more with feeling, bc that episode, even more than every other "experimental" episode that came before it, is commenting on the existence of the show itself. the songs and the pretense of it, and the way the characters are aware of their performance, all emphatically say "this is a narrative we are playing out." especially Buffy's song, where she likens slaying to a dance she can't stop doing. once I thought about that, I also thought about how Buffy's resurrection, the trio, and the spuffy romance are all also metatextually aware elements of the season. all of these trends continued throughout the season and now I want to really dig into it.

first, Buffy's resurrection: ive learned that in behind the scenes terms, jwhedon originally wanted s5 to be the last. it seems like by the time they were writing and shooting s5, they knew that wouldn't be the case, but the show was also moving networks and jw was going to be less present due to angel/firefly/etc. so bringing buffy back was a very self-conscious act. this feels really relevant in how and why she comes back: unwillingly dragged out by her biggest supporters. if we think of buffy the character, buffy the slayer, and sarah michelle gellar as three concurrent aspects, this move affected each of them in parallel. buffy the character has to come back, because fans cant live without her. buffy the slayer has to come back, because her friends cant live without her. smg has to come back, because the show doesnt exist without her (underlined by the stories of her being the only one with the capital to protect people from joss on set). so character, slayer and actress are back in action! but... why? bringing her back, especially after such a momentous and well-meaning death, needs to be justified. or it doesn't, if the writers decide to take a metatextual approach and have buffy herself (and others) question and criticize the decision. the season is essentially asking the question, through buffy, of why it exists?

the trio is the next aspect of season 6 i thought about wrt the metatextual elements of the season. they also function on three levels: as writer analogue, as fan analogue, and as villain criticism. on a writer level, the trio exists in the season to put buffy in situations. in episodes like life serial, gone, dead things, and normal again, they create the circumstances that would have previously been classic "monster of the week" scenarios. but because there is an onscreen intermediary, we get the commentary of why and how they do this to buffy: to test her, to challenge her, to bring about crises of faith or power. they don't even necessarily want to kill her (at first), and instead just want to nebulously "take her down", but really it is transparently obvious that they know they need her to justify their own existence. their genre-awareness as nerds only adds to this, segueing into the second aspect: fanboy analogues. they want to observe, consume, create Buffy's suffering - but they also want to keep her at a safe distance where she can't get to them. there is a sexuality to their obsession, and it's extremely objectifying. they only see her, shallowly, as the other half of their comic book dyad. this is why her compassion and moral code at the end of the season is so baffling to them. finally, the members of the trio each represent different forms of villains and their plot drawbacks: Jonathan the opportunist who can't follow through, Andrew the forever lackey, and warren the one who crosses the boundary from fun villainy into real misogynistic violence. they are all motivationless and largely devoid of characterization outside these personas, making them flat and uninteresting to watch. but that's tv villains, often: with only a season to introduce and develop them, they lack depth. after reaching the heights of fighting a god in s5, the show had to bring it all the way back down to earth by interrogating the very idea of villains themselves, again coming back to the question: why does any of this exist?

another great lens to view metanarrative through is spike and James Marsters. as legend goes, spike was only supposed to be a one season villain, leaving the show after season 2. but spike, as played by Marsters, turned out to be so much more than the failures of villains described above. he was watchable, funny, sexy, and unexpected. by all accounts he completely undermined joss' vision for the show, but he was so popular that demand kept bringing him back. in s4 marsters apparently brought up the idea of being a love interest for buffy all the time, primarily because he thought it was the only way to justify spike staying in Sunnydale (and thus on the show) post-chip. he thought it would only make sense if spike was obsessed with the slayer. it took until s5 to realize that intention, then until s6 to start digging into it. so there's two layers for spike and Marsters to function on: justifying his continued existence on the show, and in Sunnydale, by deepening his connection with buffy. that connection is also thematically tied to spike's previous role in s5: confidant and perceptive observer with whom buffy can explore her interest in death. as buffy is questioning why she exists, and whether she should, her interactions with spike threaten to pull her to the "dark side". he wants her to live, but he wants her to live as a creature of the night, chasing pleasure, abandoning morals. the show is clearly framing this as a horrible choice. in the world of btvs, buffy's adherence to a moral code is why she exists. if she turned her back on Being The Slayer, her friends, her responsibilities... then that would be just as bad as being dead. it is between these two extremes that buffy must find her way. now, i don't really agree with this version the show presents, and i think marsters - and spike - don't either. he is commanding her attention, and quite literally forcing his way in, which is scary. we feel the fear and tension of a character exerting force on the narrative. but i also feel the compassion and the desperation for understanding underneath that, which creates a really strong and layered dynamic. similar to faith, the character as played is at odds with the writing, and it works in the show's favor.

those are the three main areas where I focused my analysis. I also want to point out some other moments and parallels that I noticed:

buffy is watching dawn play out earlier seasons of her own arc, especially in all the way where dawn speedruns a relationship with a vampire. in this way, buffy watches a version of her own life - of the television show btvs - and has a similar perspective to us, the viewers, seeing how much she's grown and changed in the last 4 seasons.

gone as an episode proves this entire thesis through absence. when buffy "disappears" from the show (because of the trio!) she is able to live her life how she wants, free from the judgement of friends/viewers. this is also true of episodes in previous seasons, ie where the wild things are, where she gets to fuck all day while everyone else has to solve the scary mystery.

Giles leaves in this season, notably also the season where Joss purportedly spent much less time on set and was less involved. no more Giles as moral center and father figure means buffy has to figure out who she is without him - and the show has to figure out what it is without Joss. giles' departure also squares nicely with the show becoming much less monster of the week focused; no one really cares about the research or the plan, often to their detriment. they also don't take the trio (the other writers) seriously until its too late. the season is much more focused on the emotional worlds of the characters and their consequences than the monsters. plus, when he returns and buffy recounts the events of the season, they burst out laughing. this is poking a little fun at how this season has differed from the "established world" of buffy up through season 5.

I started to notice that every single episode was referencing, either directly or subtextually, prior episodes of the show. for example, in gone buffy mentions the season 2 episode where clea duvall disappeared. in dead things when is buffy beating spike, it visually parallels faith and buffy in who are you. all the way, as mentioned above. willow's heartbreak over tara and spiraling into magic use rhymes with something blue. the show is very self-referential in general, but in this context i also see it as the characters playing out their version of a time loop. they are stuck running the same tracks over and over, unable to get out of sunnydale (because they have to be characters on the show) and thus doomed to its patterns.

as a postcript: i had already developed most of this theory when i read this post on the existential scoobies forum, which ive been keeping up with to get a sense for the contemporary reactions as the show was airing. cynesthesia's post was made following as you were, and its an excellent breakdown of the season up to the point as it is laid out in OMWF. i highly recommend the post and the comments; she notes many things i hadn't considered and the connections to the lyrics of OMWF are brilliant. it's really fun to see my same thoughts echoed back to me 22 years ago! scrolling through the archives of the forum is really fun and enlightening re: real time buffy fans.