#i can't stop laughing at my ridiculous pets

[expirisims]

Every year growing up, my Dad bought my Mom one of those cloth yearly calendars "from" our cats. My Mom passed away in 2017, but when I got married I decided to carry on the tradition...sort of. Every Christmas our pets "buy" a special gift for my husband with their faces on it. He's gotten socks, mugs, Christmas ornaments, even a blanket. This year I almost started looking into custom toilet paper because our male doggo pees LITERALLY everywhere 😂 Might hang onto that one for next year 🤔

Anyway, I decided on a little something for his mancave and You Guys it's so stupid I can't stop laughing 🤣😂

It's not perfect by any means, but I hope he gets half as much enjoyment out of it as I do 😂

Also hoping my blending job from all my cut and paste looks less obvious when it comes on the canvas 🤣

[rosegolden13]

Princess Treatment w/ John Price

His workaholic habits do not stop after he leaves base to come home to you...

We already know he's opening up every damn door for you. He has the magical skill of knowing when doors need a push or a pull so he never fails to laugh when you pull a push door. "Tha's why you shoulda left it to me, love. Stubborn thing, you are." He'll reach over your head to push the door open for you, plopping a kiss to your hair while he does.

His masculinity does not get in the way of holding your purse for you whenever you're out together, his big bear hands wrapped around the handle of your little black purse.

He refuses to let you carry your own luggage, doesn't care if it takes him multiple trips to get both of your bags into the hotel or rental house. He'll get all exasperated if you insist on helping. "You had a long drive. Lemme handle it, pet." (even though he's the one that drove...)

There's nothing he loves more than ordering for you at a restaurant. His voice is filled with an unreasonable amount of pride when he says "And for the missus..." before telling the waiter your order.

Speaking of food, if you ever eat anything that needs cutting or even doctoring up, expect him to jump in. "Now, now, doll, you know tha's my job." He'll tsk and gently take the knife from you to cut your steak into bitesize pieces or to butter your roll. Yes, he will go as far as to bring the fork up to your lips and feed you if you don't put up a fuss.

He will absolutely pay for your manicure and then coo when you offer him your hand to show off your new nails. "Real pretty, love... Don't go chippin' 'em now. Come sit."

Price always sets up a nice place for you on the couch or bed, blanket at the ready and pillows right where you like them. "Come on now, Mrs. Price." He'll pat the spot next to him like one would for a dog. Of course, he likes it best when he can be your pillow and personal heater (that man is always warm, always) but sometimes he's got to find a way to coax his little love into his arms and away from chores.

Naturally, he will swat your hands away when you bend down to tug on your heels or tie your sneakers. He'll crouch down to place your foot on his bent knee, patting your calf firmly and leaning in to press a kiss to your ankle once he's done.

If you nick yourself while shaving, he'll level you with a disapproving stare and then insist that he do it for you next time. After all, he has plenty of experience with keeping his facial hair so tidy. "Can't have my woman hurtin' herself, now can I?" You bet your bottom dollar he's using his fancy razors and shaving creams on you, extra delicate to make sure he doesn't mar your skin.

He's terrified to smoke around you after you coughed one (1) time and now he only will take his cigars out on the back porch or in his office with the window open. If you come in, he'll snuff it out asap and usher you out of the room, shushing your protests.

I'll probably eventually add a part two cuz soft Price is everything to me hehe... Can you tell my standards are ridiculously high?? Also, does anyone have an accent writing guide for TF-141?? I am painfully American.

[devdozes]

Spiderman phainon but what about Spiderman mydeimos???

SPIDERMAN MYDEIMOS‼️

AAAA I NEED TO START DRAWING SPIDEY MYDEI RN

Being Spider-Man's Girlfriend was supposed to be cool, but nobody told you it would involve this much damage control.

"Hold still, Mydeimos, you're bleeding on the couch again."

"It's fine," he said, tone as flat as ever, even as you pressed a disinfectant wipe to his arm. His golden eyes barely flicked toward the wound. "It'll heal."

"Yeah, but my couch won't," you huffed. "You keep doing this, and we're gonna have to invest in plastic covers like an old married couple."

"Tch. Ugly."

"So is your arm right now."

He exhaled sharply through his nose—his version of a laugh. His whole vibe screamed 'intimidating man who has no time for nonsense,' but you knew better. Mydei might look like a cold, blunt realist, but he had his moments of secret softness. Not that he'd ever admit to them.

"You saw the news, right?" he asked, switching topics while you bandaged him up. "Everyone thinks Spider-Man is terrifying. Some reporter said I move like a 'predator in the dark.'" He scoffed. "I'm saving them, and they still call me scary."

You patted his arm, amused. "To be fair, you do have that whole 'gruff, intimidating presence' thing going on."

"They can't even see my face."

"No, but you could stop glaring at people like you're deciding their fate."

Mydei clicked his tongue and looked away. He totally did that.

Once you finished bandaging him, you leaned back with a satisfied grin. "There, all done. Now you can go back to swinging around the city like a menace."

"I'm not a menace."

"You also saved a kitten today and pet its head for like a whole minute."

"Shut up."

You beamed. Got him.

He sighed and leaned back, arms crossed, eyes scanning the ceiling as if contemplating the entire universe. This was the real Mydei. Not the scary, unapproachable figure everyone thought he was. This was your Mydei—the one who let you patch him up, who tolerated your teasing, who had a hidden love for cute things and a soft spot for you.

You nudged his leg with your foot. "Wanna watch something? I promise not to pick anything stupid."

"Liar."

"Okay, I promise not to pick something too stupid."

He huffed but didn’t object as you grabbed the remote. A victory. A small one, but still.

A few minutes passed before he moved again. This time, he didn’t just rest his arm around you—he practically wrapped himself around you, his strong arms locking you in place. His head buried into the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

You blinked. "Uh... Mydei?"

He mumbled something unintelligible but didn’t budge.

A small laugh bubbled up in your throat. Everyone called him a tiger, but for you, he was just a big, clingy cat.

"You're really comfy," he muttered, voice low, almost sheepish. "And warm."

Your heart did an embarrassing flip. How was this the same guy who scared half the city?

Smiling, you brought a hand up, gently running your fingers through his hair. "I swear, for someone with a scary reputation, you sure act like an oversized cat sometimes."

"Don't make it weird."

"Too late."

Mydei groaned but didn’t move an inch. If anything, he held you tighter.

Minutes passed, and you realized he wasn’t just holding you—he was trapping you. His arms were ridiculously strong, making escape impossible. Even shifting slightly earned you a grumble from where his face was buried in your neck.

"Uh, Mydei? I can’t move."

"Don’t need to."

You huffed. "Okay, but I kinda wanna grab the popcorn—"

"No."

You tried to wiggle an arm free. Failed. "Mydei, you're literally Spider-Man. You can reach it."

"Lazy."

"You're the one pinning me down!"

"Mhm."

He was completely content like this, muscles relaxed, warmth radiating from him as he clung to you like some oversized, stubborn cat refusing to let go of its favorite person.

Eventually, you gave up and sighed. "You better not fall asleep on me."

No response. Just the steady rhythm of his breathing, still wrapped around you like a human blanket.

You were about to tease him again, but the comfort of his warmth, the quiet hum of the movie playing in the background, and the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours started to lull you into drowsiness. His breath was slow, his hold secure, and before you knew it, your own eyelids grew heavy.

Sinking deeper into his embrace, you let sleep take over, your fingers still loosely tangled in his hair. Mydei shifted slightly, adjusting his grip just enough to bury his face even further into the crook of your neck, murmuring something inaudible in his sleep.

And just like that, you both drifted off—tangled together, warm, safe.

Mydei woke up first, groggy but comfortable. The first thing he noticed was you, still tucked under him, breathing softly in your sleep.

His golden eyes softened. He was heavy, practically draped over you like a living weighted blanket, yet you hadn’t pushed him away. You let him stay.

Carefully, he loosened his grip—just enough to scoop you up in his arms, moving with the silent ease of someone used to carrying people through the city.

You barely stirred as he lifted you, your face nuzzling against his chest instinctively.

Mydei sighed, pressing a quiet kiss to your forehead before walking toward your bedroom. But Just as Mydei tucked you into bed, his entire body tensed. A sharp, unmistakable sting prickled at the back of his neck—his spider-sense screaming.

His golden eyes snapped toward the window, instincts already kicking in. Something was happening.

In one swift motion, he pulled the blanket up over you, making sure you were comfortably settled. His fingers lingered for just a second—reluctant, but there was no time to hesitate. Duty called.

He turned, moving across the room with silent precision, already shrugging on his suit and golden metal claws. The familiar fabric clung to him like a second skin, his mask slipping over his face as he strode toward the window.

He turns his head to give you one last glance, before jumping out the window off to where his senses were taking him. . . . . .When he reached the scene, the first thing he saw was chaos. A messed-up road, broken stones, debris everywhere—

And a car on fire.

His eyes narrowed as he stepped forward, scanning the destruction. His gaze caught on something small lying among the rubble.

A Spiderman plushie?

Before he could react, an immense force slammed into him from the side, sending him flying—straight into the wall of a shop.

The impact rattled through Mydei’s ribs as he crashed into the shop’s wall, shattering the glass windows with the sheer force of the throw. Dust and debris clouded his vision, the ringing in his ears a dull reminder that he’d let his guard down. His fingers twitched around the small Spider-Man plushie he had picked up—what the hell was that doing here?

But before he could process it, a deep, guttural laugh rumbled from the cracked road ahead.

"Not so tough now, are ya, Spider?"

Mydei’s sharp golden eyes snapped up, locking onto the massive figure emerging from the wreckage. The guy was built like a wrecking ball—easily over seven feet tall, muscles bulging unnaturally under his torn clothes. His skin had a rough, almost stone-like texture, giving him an armored appearance. His face was twisted in a grin, eyes gleaming with the thrill of destruction.

Super strength. That explained the obliterated street. But Mydei had already noticed something else. The brute’s movements were sluggish—slow to adjust, slow to react. He had power, but speed? Weak.

Mydei cracked his neck, rolling his shoulders as he tossed the plushie aside.

“Alright, big guy,” he muttered, voice laced with sharp amusement, “You’re strong. I’ll give you that.” He bent his knees slightly, fingers twitching as he prepared to launch. “But let’s see how well you handle someone who actually knows how to fight.”

The brute snarled and charged, the ground trembling beneath his heavy steps. But Mydei was already moving.

WHIP—

A web shot out, latching onto the crumbling remains of a streetlight. In a heartbeat, Mydei launched himself into the air, narrowly avoiding the devastating punch that cratered the pavement where he had just stood. The mutant’s fist sunk into the concrete, struggling to pull it back out.

“Too slow.” Mydei’s voice rang from above.

The mutant barely had time to look up before Mydei came crashing down with a devastating kick to his jaw. The sheer force sent the brute stumbling back, cracks forming along his hardened skin.

"HRGH—!" The villain spat out something red—blood? A tooth? Who cared.

But Mydei didn’t stop.

He was already moving again, flipping midair, using another web to slingshot himself behind his opponent. Before the brute could react, Mydei landed a flurry of precise, brutal punches—each blow aimed at weak points. The ribs. The back of the knees. The joints. The guy was a tank, sure, but even tanks had weak spots.

The mutant roared in frustration, swinging wildly, trying to catch him. But Mydei was untouchable. Ducking. Weaving. Flipping. His movements were as fluid as water, never in the same place twice.

"You know," Mydei mused, narrowly avoiding a grab attempt, "for someone with that much muscle, you’d think you’d be better at actually landing a hit."

The brute’s eyes burned with rage. "STAND STILL!"

“No thanks.”

With that, Mydei shot a web at the mutant’s face—SPLAT!—effectively blinding him.

The villain roared, clawing at the sticky mess over his eyes. And that’s when Mydei saw his opening.

Launching forward, Mydei twisted midair and delivered a final, devastating roundhouse kick to the side of the mutant’s head. The sheer force sent him flying—his body crashing through a half-destroyed car before finally going still.

For a moment, silence.

Then, a groan. The brute twitched, clearly still conscious but dazed.

Mydei landed smoothly, rolling his shoulders. “You’re still awake? That’s impressive. Too bad it won’t last.”

With practiced ease, he shot out several webs, wrapping the mutant up tight against a broken lamppost. Struggle all he wanted, the brute wasn’t breaking out of that anytime soon.

The sirens were already wailing in the distance. Cops were on their way.

Mydei exhaled, finally relaxing his stance.

Then, he noticed it—the little Spider-Man plushie he had tossed aside earlier, lying near the wreckage.

“…Tch.” Without thinking, he picked it back up, dusting it off. He glanced at the unconscious villain, then at the mess around him.

“…Still gotta get back before she wakes up,” he muttered.

Just as Mydei swung through the city, a sudden, searing bolt of energy shot past him—so close he barely dodged in time. Someone was watching. Someone hidden.

Golden eyes narrowed. Fine. If they wanted to play this game—

He’d find them first.

The cowardly villain was a lanky figure wrapped in tattered cloth, his gaunt face shadowed by a hood. His power? Energy-based projectiles. He hid in the dark, firing shots from afar, never engaging in direct combat. He was weak up close—he knew it, Mydei knew it.

Which was why the villain always ran when things got too heated.

And tonight was no exception. As soon as Mydei got close, the villain turned tail, attempting to flee.

But before he could escape, a flying baseball bat shot through the air at an insane speed, striking him directly in the head with a sickening thud. The villain's body crumpled to the ground instantly.

Mydei's gaze snapped to where the bat had come from, and there you stood, arms crossed, glaring down at him from your apartment window with an expression of pure annoyed fury.

"Dear Spider-Man," you said, voice dripping with passive-aggressive venom, "if you're gonna fight, please try to be quiet and not interrupt people's sleep."

Mydei blinked. Then sighed. Oh god hes fucked . . . . . Mydei landed on your balcony with practiced ease, his mask still in place as he crouched, golden eyes watching you with a mix of guilt and amusement. You were still standing at the window, arms crossed, your glare sharp enough to cut through steel.

"I was handling it," he muttered, pulling off his mask.

"Yeah? Well, I handled it faster," you shot back, tilting your chin up. "And now my precious sleep is gone, all thanks to my dear superhero boyfriend who can’t keep it down."

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I’ll make it up to you."

You raised a skeptical brow. "Oh? How?"

Without another word, Mydei scooped you up effortlessly, pulling you into his arms before stepping inside.

"Mydei—! Put me down, you dramatic bastard, or what do you call phainon? yeah HKS."

He ignored you, carrying you over to the couch and gently setting you down before disappearing into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned, holding a warm cup of tea in one hand and your favorite snack in the other.

He placed them on the table in front of you before sitting on the floor down beside you.

"Accept my offering," he murmured against your thighs.

You huffed, trying to hold on to your grumpiness. But between the warmth of the tea, the comfort of his hold, and the way he was resting his on your lap like some overgrown cat, your resolve crumbled.

"...Fine," you grumbled, taking the tea. "But you still owe me for the lost sleep."

Mydei smirked. "I can think of a way." "Shut the fuck up mydei" But then an idea flashed in your mind as you gave him a cheeky smile.

Mydei eyed you suspiciously as you flashed him a devious smile, pulling something from behind your back. His sharp golden eyes narrowed when he saw the fabric in your hands—a pair of matching Hello Kitty pajamas.

"If you want to make it up to me," you cooed, holding up the ridiculously cute pink pajamas, "then put this on."

Mydei's expression went completely blank. He slowly blinked at you, then at the pajamas, then back at you again.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"I fight crime in the dead of night, swinging across the city, getting smashed into walls, and dealing with the most annoying villains imaginable—"

"And now you're putting on the Hello Kitty pajamas," you cut him off sweetly, pushing them into his chest.

Mydei sighed, running a hand down his face. He was a realist, a straightforward man who prided himself on logic and practicality. There was no practical reason for him to wear pink Hello Kitty pajamas.

And yet, ten minutes later, there he was.

Standing in your living room.

Wearing them.

And looking absolutely massive in the cutesy, oversized fabric.

You barely held in your laughter, eyes sparkling with mischief as you twirled around in your own matching set.

"This is blackmail material," Mydei muttered under his breath, crossing his arms as he towered over you, looking both dead inside and resigned to his fate.

"You look adorable," you chirped, hugging his arm.

He grumbled, ears slightly red, before pulling you into his arms like a hostage.

"If I'm doing this, we're doing this right. Movie day," he declared, dragging you onto the couch.

"Exactly! Now, go order snacks," you said, shoving your phone into his hands.

Mydei gave you a long, unamused stare.

"...You're really milking this, huh?"

"Absolutely."

He exhaled heavily but started placing the order anyway. Because, despite his protests, he was completely wrapped around your finger.

And unfortunately for him?

You knew it.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Animals:

Golden Retriever Yunho

❥Jeong Yunho x fem reader

❥ATEEZ x fem reader

➯a/n: taking "golden retriever boyfriend" to a whole new level kkkkkk ugh yunho needs to stop wrecking me so hard

(>ᴗ•)genre: smut, hybrid a/b/o

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: not edited, poly pack dynamics, animal/human hybrids, hybrids take on physical and personality traits from their animals, yunho in a rut, big dick yun- like BIG, gentle to rough sex, dacryphilia, pussy drunk yunho, intense eye contact, knotting, spit, breeding kink, (very briefly) passing out, praise + reassurance, soft dom yunho, pet names (puppy, angel, sweetie, love & baby), omega puppy reader / beta golden retriever yunho

♡masterlist + navigation !♡

18+.MINORS GET OUT.

‧｡ANIMALS𖦹°‧

"Are you ready? Are you ready?" Yunho bounces on his feet at the door while waiting for you.

If he had a tail, it would be wagging a million miles per hour. But since he's a half-hybrid, he only has his ears to show his excitement; the fuzzy, golden blond perked a bit off of his matching hair as he tilts his head.

"Come on, we're burning daylight!" He pouts as you finish tying your running shoes.

"The sun just rose, Yunho! Jeez, what's with the zoomies- wah!" You yell as he grabs your hand and drags you out the door.

He had woken you up with his face over yours, panting softly and asking you to go on his second run with him. He's a naturally active person because of his breed, but this is almost ridiculous. Usually he'd go with Yeosang, your doberman mate, but said alpha had apparently kicked him out of his room before he came to you.

You start to wish you were smart enough to have done what Yeosang did as the golden retriever man starts running — bolting, really. "Aaaah, shit. This is gonna suck." You sigh before pushing your legs to catch up with his long ones.

‧｡ANIMALS𖦹°‧

You fall down in the middle of the large backyard dramatically. "Are you satisfied?" You pant, rolling your head to look at him.

He's got his hands on his knees as he catches his breath, but a large smile is still on his face. His ears flop a bit as he nods quickly. "Thank you, puppy~"

"Yeah, yeah," you laugh breathlessly, "help me inside, my legs are jelly."

He lifts you up quickly, hugging you to his chest tightly as he carries you back inside the pack house, his nose in your neck. Nobody else seems to be awake yet, the rooms all deserted as you make your way to the downstairs bathroom.

When he shuts the door behind you, you're smacked in the face with the heavy scent hot cocoa and cinnamon. It sends you reeling, holding onto the counter tightly as he sets you down; humming as he turns on the shower, blissfully unaware of how his smell is affecting you. Without the fresh air from outside or the air conditioning — you can't smell anything beside his strong pheromones.

"Yunho?"

"Mhm~?"

The insane amount of energy, the runs and work outs he's been doing the past few days, the way he growled at Yeosang to challenge him for the last piece of pizza yesterday and the way he's been extra overbearing over you and the other omegas —

He's going into a rut.

"When was your last rut?"

"Uhm, about six m-" He pauses. He ruts every six months like clockwork.

"I'll go get Mingi-"

"No!" He runs to you quickly, wrapping his arms around you and bear hugging you. "I want you. Please? I don't- I promise I'll be gentle." It's probably not a promise he can hold true to.

Because Yunho may be a beta, but he's built like an alpha.

"I'll stretch you out for as long as you like- just, please? I w- you know I love all of you but... I want another pup to take my knot."

The last time you were his first rutting partner he nearly split you in half with his knot. It's always bigger at the beginning of a rut, and you hadn't known that when you so bravely took it.

"I don't- I don't know if I can take it-"

"We can take our time! My rut hasn't started yet, I can stretch you out," he turns you around and falls to his knees, clasping his hands together, "please, love."

Even though you should be immune to them, his begging puppy dog eyes win you over. "Fine-"

His ears perk up immediately, along with his eyes that you swear start sparkling at the promise of being able to knot another hybrid from the same classification as him.

"But shower first, you almost threw me into an early heat."

"Is that so bad-"

"Shower."

"On it!"

‧｡ANIMALS𖦹°‧

His pheromones are significantly less potent after you shower, but they're still dizzying in your post orgasmic bliss — having just came all over all four of his fingers while his thumb stroked your clit.

You're so far gone just from his large hand that you don't even realize he's spread your legs and positioned himself between them; grinding his massive cock on your messy heat with a string of needy groans.

"Gonna knot my pretty angel," he breathes deeply to reign himself in a bit. He grips the base of his cock, already feeling his knot swelling up ever so slightly.

You suddenly come back to your body, back arching off the bed as you yip — even just his bulbous tip is so huge and heavy. "Ah! Too big, too big," you shake your head, already trembling at the thought of taking anymore.

"It's not too big," he pouts, cupping your cheeks gently to still your head, "it's not, sweetie. You can take it." He rests his forehead on yours, tears welling up in his eyes to match your own. "You can take it, I promise. You took all of my fingers so good, you're so nice and wet for me~"

"Fuck-" You groan, forcing yourself to relax around him as you look into his eyes. "Go- go slow..."

He pecks your lips repeatedly as he inches his way forward immediately, trying to sink into you simultaneously as fast and as slow as possible. Going at the slowest pace he can but doing it quickly.

He's stopped when you instinctively clench around him, your brows knitted together at the intense stretch. He almost falls over, slamming his hand onto the headboard and grabbing it tightly. "R-relax, relax," he begs, his hips stuttering, "fuck, please-"

He collapses on top of you with a pant of relief as you stop clamping down on his girth, gulping down the pool of spit that threatened to spill over his parted lips.

"That's — oh, fuck — that's it, angel~" He moans loudly as he continues his torturously slow descent into your gooey walls. "There you go, you got it," he nuzzles his forehead against yours comfortingly as tears start wetting your lashes; looking deep into your eyes as he stretches you to your absolute fullest.

"You're so-" You hiccup, missing the way his jaw slacks as you clench around him with it. "-so big." Your brain, what little is left after he fingered most of it out of you, is tingling. The only thing you can think about is Yunho and his ridiculous thickness stretching out your pulsing cunt. "M'gonna break." You pout so seriously that he can't help but chuckle.

"Oh, puppy~" He coos fondly as he wipes your eyes with his thumbs, cradling your face tenderly. "You aren't going to break, I got you. You're taking me so well~ You're almost half way there-"

"What?!" Your teary eyes widen, attempting to look between you when he catches your jaw and shakes his head softly.

"Don't panic, love," he hums, stilling his hips to give you a moment. "Breathe in and out, nice and slow, just like that." He strokes your head softly as you take in deep, shaking breaths; going along with you to try and keep his cool. It feels like you're squeezing the life force out of him with your hot, gummy walls.

"Why are you so big?" You whimper, followed by — "It's too good, I'm- I'm gonna lose my mind."

His hips act with a mind of their own, shoving another inch of his fat length into you and making you wail; grabbing his forearms as he keeps his hold on your face.

He was starting to think he'd have to pull out, that you genuinely couldn't take it and that he might be hurting you. But to hear that you feel as good as he does — his ears are hot and twitching as much as his cock is.

"J- oh! Put it all the way in, baby- all the way, all the way!" You're just about sobbing, "just hurry! Hurry and fuck me, please, pleaseee-"

Your plead dies out in a loud, pornographic whine as he slams the rest of his length inside of you; pinning your twitching hips to the mattress with his own as he growls lowly. Your eyes roll back into your head, jaw dropping wide open as you cum around him.

He tries to stop himself, but your mouth is just so tempting; especially as your pussy is fluttering and convulsing around him — massaging every inch, every pronounced vein.

He grips your jaw in one hand and forces it to stay open as he spits right into your mouth. The sight of your tongue twitching as his spit lands is enough to make him want to cum then and there.

"Look at you~" He coos as he starts rutting a few inches of his enormous cock into you, pulling back just a bit more each time until he's sliding in and out of your tight heat slow and steady in his entirety. "I knew you could take me, love."

All you can do is moan with his hand still squeezing your mouth open, feeling like you're about to float away at the mind-numbing pleasure. When your eyes flutter shut, he growls, snapping his hips into you quickly and making them fly back open.

"Eyes on me," he says in a breath, gently rubbing your jaw as he lets go of it, "eyes on me or I will stop." He won't, too deep in the beginnings of his rut to even imagine doing such a thing, but the idea of it makes you whine nonetheless; watching his expression with puppy dog eyes. "Thank you, sweetie~"

You grab onto his arms tighter as he speeds up just a notch, blinking away your tears quickly so you can watch the way he bites his cheek. He's still holding back and while you're thankful that he doesn't want to hurt you — you want to make him feel even better. You know he likes it fast and rough. Especially with a rut only literal minutes away from hitting him.

"Baby," you whisper above his quiet growls, catching his attention. "Fill me with your pups-"

Forget minutes. His rut slams into him full force as soon as the words leave your lips.

His eyes, already nearly fully dilated, are overtaken by his pupils; only the smallest sliver of brown left. His cheeks and neck flush with heat, all the way down his shoulders. His cock feels like it gets bigger inside of you. There's only one thing on his mind.

Breed.

He starts pounding into you like a madman, bottoming out every single time. The sudden burst of speed knocks the air from your lungs and leaves you unable to do anything but let out a small squeak.

If it weren't for his ever present grip on your face, you'd probably be sliding up the bed with the sheer force of his thrusts.

You can't even register his pussy drunk babbling; nodding along simply because you hear his voice from within the absolute tsunami of pleasure slamming onto you.

"Pretty angel, gonna take my knot? Yeah, yeah you are~ Take my big fucking knot- stretch this little puppy cunt out so good~" He moans against your lips, panting as he fucks into you rough and desperate. The entire time, his eyes never leave yours — watching them get fuzzy with ecstasy.

When the first rope of his hot release shoots inside of you, your entire body twitches. Your eyes slam closed again, your jaw dropped in a silent scream as you literally blank for a few seconds. Clenching around his growing knot so hard as he fills you up that he doubles over ontop of you and curses under his heavy breaths.

You come back to the feeling of him licking your tear covered cheek softly, his arms wrapped tightly around you and his knot pulsing against your walls. At the bright look in his eyes, you hum dopily, "did it?"

"You did it," he beams as he wipes the sweat from your brow, "I'm locked up all perfect and snug~"

You slump under him with a wide smile, still chasing your breath. "Mmm perfect," you purr as he continues to lick your face gently.

"I'm so proud of you," he moans contentedly, eyelids as heavy as yours as he looks down at you with what can only be described as heart eyes. "I'm going to knot you so many times, puppy."

‧｡ANIMALS𖦹°‧

[4st4rion]

some close proximity

ao3 link

just over 1k; astarion is in a bad mood, u make him feel better, kissing ensues. second person pov (astarion x you) and fully gender neutral. mild act 3 spoilers!

Astarion has been in a bad mood all day, and, frankly, you're fucking sick of it.

You don't confront him in front of everyone, because you're not an asshole, but you wait until it's just the two of you left in your rooms at the Elfsong, everyone else gone to have dinner and drink downstairs.

He's about to leave, too, but you stop him with a hand on his arm.

"Astarion," you say, hoping it comes off as gently as possible.

He whips around, brows furrowed together in an angry expression.

"What?"

You raise your eyebrows at him. He's really in a bad mood if he's being this short with his own lover.

"Astarion," you repeat, firmly this time. "What's going on with you today?"

A hundred emotions war over his face — first it's the anger at being called out, then denial that anything is wrong, then guilt and regret for snapping at you, and his eyes avoid your own as he heaves a dramatic sigh.

"Nothing," he lies, in that near-hysterical pitch he has when he's worked up. "We're only lingering in my ex-master's hunting grounds, staying at the tavern I used to hunt," he says. "How could I possibly be anything but ecstatic to hang around?"

You frown.

"Is that what it is?" you ask, ignoring the part of you that wants to get defensive about his tone with you. "Astarion, you're safe with us," you remind him, taking his hand and holding it intently. "None of us would let any harm come to you."

He flinches like he's going to pull his hand away, but decides not to.

"How do you know?" he mutters, still not looking at you. "Cazador himself could come find us any night."

"He'd be a fool to," you hum. "You're surrounded by allies, and you're no longer under his control."

You squeeze his hand.

"Cazador is probably cowering right now, afraid of his own death, knowing we're in the city," you say, and that almost gets Astarion to smirk.

"I'm sure he's shitting himself," Astarion says sarcastically, but you roll with it.

"And pissing, too," you add. "He's running out of pants from how often he's shitting and pissing himself."

That, stupid as it is, makes Astarion laugh.

He glances at you, then scoffs, still smiling.

"I hate that you make me feel better," he admits, winding his fingers around yours. "Little shit."

You smile back.

"I'm your little shit, though," you say, before you can consider whether you should or not, and he goes still.

"Are you?" he asks, softly. Cautiously.

"A little shit?" you ask, giving you both the chance to escape this conversation, but he only laughs one amused huff.

"No," he says. "Are you? Mine?"

The look in his eyes is dangerous; you want to pull him into a kiss and never stop, give him anything and everything, let the world melt around you in favor of giving yourself to him, body and mind and soul.

"Maybe," you say, trying to sound coy but sounding nervous, instead.

The hand that isn't in yours comes to up pet you, his thumb running over your cheekbone and your lower lip before he leans in to kiss you. It's as intoxicating as ever, and you let yourself relax as the two of you kiss over and over in your shared room.

Your free hand holds him at his hip, first, then at his waist, pulling him in until the two of you are flush together. He won't stop kissing you, stealing your breath away and swallowing anything you may have to say about the situation.

"Are you mine?" he asks again, once you're flustered and weak in the knees.

You swallow thickly.

"Might be," you admit, but it's not what he wants to hear — his hands leave you to guide you by your hips, back until your legs meet your comfortable daybed and you tumble down onto the mattress.

He climbs on top of you, and you'd compare him to a predator if he wasn't giggling quietly to himself as he bullies between your legs. You can't help but laugh, too, because it's a little ridiculous, isn't it? You've been together, been something, since you helped the tieflings at Emerald Grove, fighting side by side and barely ever apart — it should be easy enough to admit that you're his.

He pulls your shirt off of you and sets to laying kisses down your neck and chest, paying extra attention just under your ear until you know there's going to be a lovebite worried into your skin.

"Bastard," you mutter, but he only laughs again.

"Everyone already knows we're together," he reasons. "I might as well mark you."

His words send something hot creeping under your skin. You'd like that, you think — being marked as belonging to someone. How different is a lovebite from a wedding ring, when you think about it? Or a collar, or a scar? It's a symbol of ownership, isn't it?

"Don't tempt me to do the same," you threaten, even though that thought sends something even hotter through you. He'd look good with a ring of bruises bitten around his neck, outlines of your teeth indented in his skin.

He bites at your neck, not drawing blood but not gently, and it startles a quiet noise out of you.

"Tell me you are mine," he says this time, and you can't deny it any longer.

"I'm yours," you sigh, as his teeth make themselves at home in your neck.

"Only mine," he growls, and you laugh. You've certainly been getting hit on a lot lately, yeah; between the Emperor shooting his shot and having to stop Halsin from confessing his feelings, it's no surprise he's feeling possessive.

"Only yours," you purr. You drape your arms over his shoulders and pull him closer, arching against him to press your body up to his and baring your neck for him. "I haven't thought of anyone but you since we met," you admit, your voice as low and sultry as you can manage.

He whines against you and takes your offering, biting into your neck with his fangs and drawing blood. It doesn't happen every time you have sex, and it doesn't always lead to sex, but sex and feeding are entwined enough that one tends to tangle into the other. Not that you mind, far from it — his bite becomes pleasantly numb as he drinks from you and the mild lightheadedness only adds to how dreamy it is every time you get intimate with him.

"You mean everything to me," you say, slow and sleepy-sounding, everything getting further and further away as he drinks. "You are everything to me."

He makes another desperate noise into your veins and pulls up, away. His mouth seals over the same spot to suck the last trickles of blood that ooze up and he licks to help the wound begin to heal, his tongue especially familiar here.

As soon as he trusts your skin not to split back open, he's moving up to kiss you again. You'd be more disturbed by the taste of your own blood on his tongue if you weren't used to it by now.

"You are mine," he shudders between kisses. "Just as I am yours," he adds, his voice full of fake confidence.

"You are," you immediately affirm, wanting him to know it's true and it's mutual.

"Not like I was his," he hisses. “In a different way."

You nod against him.

"A better way," you agree, and he nods, too, kissing you even harder.

You stay that way for a good, long while, tangled together on the bed. Time and place melt away; the only things that exist or have ever existed are the two of you, here, now, together, and the quiet sounds of love between your mouths.

It's good.

It's perfect.

[hyukalyptus]

is that so bad? — bestie!soobin x chubby!reader. NSFW/MDNI!!!

cw. swearing, chubby!fem!reader, mentions of eating and drinking, soobin loves his best friend's body and can't stop thinking about fucking her, dirty talk, dancing, nipple play, cunnilingus, body worship, pet names (pretty, baby, sexy), low key lovemaking, unprotected sex (wear condoms, y'all), creampie, lots of talk about reader's squishy, jiggly body. notes. reposted from my old account! smut under cut. wc. 2.8K

“You should just ask her out.”

“What?” he’s shaken out of your trance as he watches you from across the room, laughing with your friends, your wide-legged jeans hiding your body from him, but your crop top allowing him to see the tops of your tits jiggle with your laughter. “That’s ridiculous. She’s my best friend.” 

“So?” Beomgyu asks. “You obviously like her. Just ask her out.”

“What if she says no? It’s not like we could stay friends after that.” Of course, you’re oblivious to the whole thing. You have no idea that your best friend constantly thinks about you. Thinks about kissing you, squeezing you, jiggling your thighs, fucking you from behind so your ass ripples with his thrusts. 

Okay, today's the day, he tells himself in the bathroom mirror. I’m going to ask her out. He’s really tried today—got a bit more dressed up than usual for your typical Sunday morning coffee. Put on a little cologne, slicked his hair back a bit. 

Will you go out with me? You wanna get dinner sometime? Can I take you out? He shakes his head with each option. Nothing sounds good—he’ll just wing it in the moment. 

“Woah,” Beomgyu says as he walks through the kitchen. “You’re all fancy today. What’s the occasion?” Soobin blushes and scratches the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. “Oh, did she say yes? Is this your first date?” He shakes his shoulders, congratulating him. 

“No, no, no,” he says, Beomgyu retreating from him, disappointed. “I’m asking her out today though.” 

“Okay, we’ll see.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, just…I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Sitting across from him, you look absolutely, positively mouth-watering. He’d of course gotten there early and he swears when you walked in the front door, the entire place lit up, rays of sunshine illuminating you. Your cargo pants outline your tummy perfectly, which he thinks is just about the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. But the crop top was another thing—letting him see just a bit of your tummy and the way your top accentuated your chest…just gorgeous. 

As you two catch up, he tries maintaining eye contact, he really does. But the way your tits jiggle and bounce with your laughter is too distracting. And if he catches a glimpse of your tummy bouncing, forget it. That’s the only thing that has his attention. 

Really, he only has one thing on his mind: asking you out. You’re talking about…something. He doesn’t know—something funny that happened at work, perhaps a new TV show you’re watching? 

“And then he—”

“You wanna go out sometime?” He blurts out, his lips rounding into a pout as he realizes what just happened. But you’re still taken aback, practically choking on your laughter from your story.

“Wh-what?” You smile awkwardly. But he can’t answer; he just stares out into space blankly, contemplating whether he should just run out the front door or not. 

“Uh, do you,” he swallows hard. “Do you—”

You lean over the table and ask, “Did you just ask me out?”

“Well, yes and no…” he starts. “Except not no. So, yeah, basically,” he nods. “Yes, I did.”

“And you’re serious?” You’re not offended, you’re not quite flattered either; truth be told, you don’t know how you feel about it. You think he’s joking, but when he tells you he’s dead serious, you blink, resting back against your chair. 

All he’s thinking is how could he not be? Who wouldn’t be into you? Who wouldn’t admire your amazing, beautiful body and all its glory? And you’re funny, smart, witty, introverted enough for him, just extroverted enough to bring him out of his shell. You’re absolutely perfect. But your body is the cherry on top. 

Your curves, your hips, tits, tummy, ass—the way everything jiggles, the dimples at the tops of your thighs that he can only see when you’re in a swimsuit or short shorts. Oh, that time you two went to the beach together, he was speechless. You looked delicious. Skin glistening in the sun, stretch marks at the top of your thighs on full display, asking him to rub sunscreen on your back. 

But you had no idea. No idea how he looked at you when you weren’t looking, eyes skating across your body. How much he wanted to bury his face between your thighs, how much he wanted to suck on your nipples. 

“I think you’re funny, pretty, hot, smart, so…yeah, I wanna go on a date with you. Is that so bad?” He presses his lips in a smile, his dimples appearing and, well, you had no reason not to. What’s the worst that can happen?

-

“Hey, sexy,” he says as you open the door wearing a suit and tie holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. You must admit, he does look rather handsome tonight. 

“Sexy?” You chuckle, taking the flowers from him, letting him in your apartment. 

“Oh, would you rather I call you something else? Pretty? Beautiful? Gorgeous?” Oh, he’s really being bold tonight, huh? 

“Sexy works,” you shrug, stretching on your toes for a vase on top of your fridge, which lets him get a good look at your ass. But you were still oblivious to everything. You thought he was just being cute and charming, not dead-ass serious about thinking you’re sexy. Not that you aren’t sexy. You just didn’t necessarily think Soobin—your best friend—would think that. 

“You want me to get it?” He asks, pressing his body to your back to reach over you. Truth be told, that does elicit a flutter in your tummy. Your breath hitched as he pressed up to you, goosebumps popped up as he graced his fingertips over your arm, just how absolutely tall he looked looking down at you. 

And he noticed how much of an effect he had on you all of a sudden. “Ready?” Realizing he handed you the vase a while ago, you divert your attention to displaying the flowers before heading out the door. 

At dinner, he insists on sitting on the same side of the booth and he just can’t take it anymore. Your thigh smooshed against the booth is just too tempting. Testing the waters, he graces his fingertips over your thigh, moving further and further inward to the squishiest part. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, eyeing him through your eyelashes. 

“Touching you. Is that okay?” He keeps moving and squeezing and you do enjoy it. Admittedly, it feels good…really good. Your eyes flutter shut as you nod, the tiniest smile on your face. “God,” he sighs. “I can’t wait to get you home.” 

“We haven’t even gotten our drinks yet,” you chuckle. “And you promised me dinner and dancing.”

“I know,” he says. “But I’m gonna make you feel so good later.”

“Oh, really?” You smirk up at him and he responds with a cocky nod. 

The rest of the dinner is spent eating…at least you tried, but the way he kept whispering in your ear was too distracting. 

All I wanna do is rip your dress off and rub all over your beautiful body. 

I can’t wait to kiss every inch of you. 

You have no idea how many times I’ve undressed you in my mind, do you? 

You secretly wanted to hurry this along to get home. At the same time, you’re reminded of how ridiculous that sounds. Soobin fucking you? No, that’s ridiculous. He’s your best friend. 

But he promised you a date. And a date you shall get. At the club, you two don’t waste time getting drink and instead head straight for the dance floor. Dancing apart from each other at first, something, although you don’t know what—you didn’t see anything—makes him trip forward into you. 

But you really don’t mind. You don’t part, his arm stays wrapped around your waist, yours around his broad shoulders and you can’t help but think wow, he is handsome, isn’t he? Like really handsome. How have you never noticed before? 

Pressing you closer, he brings his mouth to your ear and oh god, what’s he gonna say this time to get you all hot and bothered? 

“You look so fucking sexy right now,” he whispers. Well, as much as he can whisper in a club. “I can’t wait to get my hands on you later.”

“Soobin…” your ears feel unbelievably hot. You’ve never seen this side of him before and the fact he has it on full display this evening has your mind scrambling. “You can touch me a little now if you want.” His eyebrows raise, his cute smile spreads across his face as he presses to you, sliding his hand from your waist to your ass, squeezing just barely at first, then rough and harsh the second time. 

And god does he love what he's feeling. The way your squish perfectly moulds underneath his big hand makes his eyebrows stitch together at just how fucking sexy you are.

The music inevitably turns slow and sensual and you turn around to back into him, your hips rolling over him, his hand resting on your tummy. Your eyes flutter shut and you let your head fall back to his shoulder and he just…looks at you. Your pretty face, cute cheeks, all over your body. 

“I would do absolutely anything to fuck you right now,” he says. And you finally give in. Your hand on the back of his neck brings him closer, finally pressing his lips to yours, your first kiss quickly turning hot and heavy. You don’t know where this is coming from. Since when do you want him so badly? 

Never breaking the kiss, you turn to face him, arms wrapping around his shoulders, his hands rubbing and squeezing your ass again. You need him. Now. 

“Let’s go home,” you say. Grabbing your hand, he heads straight for the front door, so determined. The agency’s black car is already waiting for you around the corner. You hop in, but that doesn’t mean you stop kissing. Lips all over each other, hands everywhere, you’re practically straddling him by the time you reach your apartment. 

Pushing you against the door as soon as it’s shut, he—against your own desires—doesn’t rush into anything. His hand cups your face and he taps your thigh signaling you to jump, hoisting you up into his arms, the kiss now sensual and mind-bogglingly slow. Making his way to your bedroom, he lays you down gently and looks over your body while he takes his tie and belt off, like he’s trying to decide exactly what he’s gonna do to you. 

He rolls his sleeves up a bit and unbuttons just a few of the top buttons, but you take it upon yourself to pull him to you by the front of his shirt. 

“Just take it off,” you say, working at them yourself. When it’s finally off, you’re in awe at how beautiful he is. His shoulders, his chest, his toned abs, everything. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but you’ve never truly looked. 

Reaching behind you, he finds the zipper to your dress, tugging on it at an agonizingly slow pace. Pushing the dress off you as he kisses your shoulders. You’re just— “So pretty.”

As he pulls your dress down and off your body, you tug at the top of his trousers before he gets the hint. His lips never leave your mouth, but he swiftly pulls them off, discarding them on the floor. 

You wrap your legs around his hips while he’s on top of you, your hips rolling with his. Trailing kisses down your chest, he pulls at your bra straps before you reach behind yourself, throwing it to the floor. His hands immediately—urgently—squeeze them as he buries his face in them, lips all over you. 

Sucking your nipples, he groans, finally able to do what he’s been dreaming about for months. Flicking his tongue, you moan, bucking your hips for any kind of friction. Nipples slick and wet and hard, he presses his thumb to one, rubbing gentle circles over it as he moves to your tummy. 

“So, so pretty, baby,” he  whispers against your skin, kissing and biting you. He’s almost obsessed with your tummy, he spends so much time there, just kissing all over, his hands working your tits, thumbs all over your nipples. “All for me, yeah?” He glances up at you and you nod, eyebrows stitching together at the sight of him. You reach for his hair, begging him to go further. 

And he does. 

Tugging at your panties with his teeth, he slowly pulls them off you, kissing his way back up to your pussy. You can feel it yourself, “You’re so fucking wet, pretty.” He swipes two fingers over your folds, bringing them to his mouth to taste you for the first time. And you’re absolutely delicious. His eyes roll back, ready to dive in. 

Legs falling over his shoulders, he grips your thighs, squeezing and jiggling them to his liking, flicking his tongue over your clit, an obscene moan leaving your mouth. You try not to suffocate him and move your thighs away, but he pulls them right back around his head. 

Your fingers tangling in his hair, your skin feels like fire. Reaching up again to squeeze your tit, he rubs circles over your nipple once again. 

“Holy fuck, Soobin,” you whine, throwing your head back. “Don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t. 

He does exactly what he’s been doing; he can tell you like this pace of flicking, sucking, rubbing. You love it and he does too. Loves to see you, “So pretty for me.” You look down again and goddamn does he look good. Black tufts of hair gracing your thigh, eyes closed, eating you out like you’re the best he’s ever tasted. 

Every so often he comes up for air and just looks at you and whispers how pretty you look, almost in disbelief. Like there’s no one in the world that even comes close. 

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you choke out and he’s insistent, but consistent at the same time. Not changing a damn thing. Pleasure washes over you as you cum hard into his mouth, legs encasing his head just like he wanted. 

Legs trembling through your orgasm, he brings you down from it perfectly, coming up and wiping his chin with the back of his hand, licking his lips, kissing yours. His hands all over you, pressing your bodies together, he whispers, “Wanna be inside you…”

You nod, tugging at his boxers before he takes them off completely.  Holding your legs up in his arms, he slides inside you—the first expert roll of his hips sparking electricity at the top of your thighs, shooting out your toes. Unable to hold himself up at how amazing you feel, he falls forward, digging his face in the crook of your neck, marking you in sloppy kisses on his way to your nipples where he simply cannot suck them enough. 

Mustering up the strength to sit up on his knees again while he thrusts into you, he squeezes every squishy part on you—your hips, thighs, waist, everything. And he keeps mumbling how amazing you look underneath him. So fucking pretty, taking me so well, am I making you feel good? 

And of course he is and you let him know. You moan out and groan, “Fuck, yes. You feel so fucking…so fucking good.” He can’t believe you’re finally under him like this. Legs spread, tits bouncing with his thrusts, eyes rolled back. “You’re fucking heaven.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “I am fucking heaven.” 

Your legs tremble, edging close to your second orgasm. Licking his thumb, he rubs your nipple again, pleasure and ecstasy flowing through your body. 

Everything is a bit overwhelming—how good he feels, the things he’s whispering in your ear, the way he’s treating you so nicely, but is also fucking you so, so good. 

It sends you into euphoria, your second orgasm of the night crashing over you in waves. You moan loud enough for the neighbors to unmistakably hear, squeezing around his cock just perfectly. Finally releasing inside you, his hot cum fills you up and you just feel so warm. That’s all you wanna feel forever. 

He stays put for a bit, catching his breath as he kisses all over your cheek and collarbone, peppering you with adoration. Pulling out of you slowly, you wince at the sudden emptiness. But the way he looks at you…

“You’re so beautiful, you know?” He says, kissing your tummy and the sensitive skin under your breasts, running his hands all over you again.

“You must really like my body,” you chuckle.

“What do you mean?” His head shoots up as he looks at you, eyebrows stitched together. “Of course I do. You’re gorgeous. Look at you.”

[cloudsmateria]

cloud strife x reader - new kitten!

summary: you surprise cloud with a kitten when he comes back from a mission, but of course, he hates cats.

this is so fluffy and omg i loved writing it it was so cute. look at this grump ass guy

(not proofread but i will proofread it tomorrow)

"I'm back." Cloud says as he comes in through the door, propping his sword up by the door. Bags are dropping from his eyes, so tired he doesn't notice your malicious grin as you come up to him wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him on the nose. 

"I missed you." You say, he flashes a smile of contentment as his arms go around your waist, pecking your forehead. 

"I missed you too." You pull away, leaving the kitten you hid behind his back on his shoulder. He hears a mew from his shoulder, tiredly turning to the noise. "Shit!" He shouts, jolting back, his back hitting the door as you quickly catch the kitten in your hands. "What is that?!"

"Kitten." You smile, lifting it up to his face as he presses himself against the door more, turning his head away. "It's so cute isn't it?"

"I leave you alone... For 2 days..." He breathes, closing his eyes.

"Correct, your leaving liberates me to make good choices."

"Maybe you're so taken by your despair that you don't think." He says slowly gathering the courage to face the kitten.

"You're cute." You push it against his face, as he cups his hand underneath it and sighs, looking at it in his hands. 

"I need a shower." He says, placing it on the bed and leaving. 

"You're not mad, right?" You ask, following him into the bathroom

"No, I'm just exhausted." He says, turning on the hot water.

"You're mad."

"Get out."

You frown, respecting his wishes and returning to the kitten, holding her close to your face. "At least I have you." By the time he's done, you're laying on the bed with the kitten on your chest as he comes out in his sweatpants and black shirt. "Cloud?"

He sighs and sits on the bed beside you, reluctantly moving to pet the cat with stiff, nervous hands. You feel relief wash over your chest as he tries his best. "You can't stay mad at me for long."

"I'm not mad."

"Then look at me."

He looks at you, his blue eyes meeting yours. "What's the deal with the cat anyway?"

"I found her in a box on the side of the road, she was basically crying with her mews. I couldn't leave her there."

"But why do you have to keep it here? Why can't you give her to Aerith?"

"Because I love cats, this is our daughter now. We're parents!" You grin, hugging her close.

"You're ridiculous." He scoffs, laying down on his back, you take this as an invitation to curl up next to him and place the kitten on his chest.

"I know you're scared of cats."

"That is not true."

"You were acting like I threw a grenade on you." You giggle, he strokes the kitten's head more comfortably this time.

"We have enough scars as it is." And I have enough things taking up my girlfriend's attention, he thinks.

"Don't worry, she's a good girl. I was hoping you'd help me name her. What do you think about Empress of Despair?" He bursts out laughing.

"What?" He laughs.

"General Machine Gun."

"Where do you even get these names from?"

"Supreme Commander of the Kittens."

"Please stop."

"I have more." You grin. "Why are you laughing?"

"You’re ridiculous." He grins, his laughs calming down as you sit up on his waist.

"Why don't you come up with one then?" He looks down at the kitten, trying to think of something.

"How about... Cosmo?"

"So we're just naming her after a cocktail? That's disappointing, Cloud."

"Fine, how about..." He sighs. "Aerith?"

You snort. "Oh yeah, totally didn't see that coming. She's not an Aerith, she's a Cloud."

"That's a weird name for a cat."

"Not if it's a girl cat."

"Are you saying I have a girl's name?"

"Well..."  You smile, he holds a hand over his heart as he groans in pain. 

"The pain of it all, the betrayal."

"You certainly act like one."

"Ugh!" He jolts as if he's been punched. "Take it back." He groans, writhing in his place as the poor kitten stares confused at the both of you. You pick her up, laughing at him and getting off of his waist to sit with her in your lap.

"I think Cloud suits her well. Fluffy and white like a Cloud. Like both Clouds." You stroke the kitten's head.

"Really? She's stolen my girlfriend, and my name?"

"I think you should earn my affection back." You tease.

"Or we can just give the cat to Aerith and I keep my girlfriend."

"You're going to let Aerith steal the love of my life?"

"Love of your life, huh?" He smiles, sitting up.

"Of course! This is my offspring."

"You've only had her for a day and you're already forgetting about me. Come on, I just got back from a long mission and this is how you neglect me?"

"These are the responsibility that comes with having kids, sweetheart."

"I see how it is. Well, I'm sure that cat will love to see the inside of an alleyway again." He jokes.

"Don't listen to him, Cloud. He's not taking you."

"You don't know that." He reaches for her but you move back, defensively. He sighs. "Are we really going to keep her?"

"Yes, you have no choice."

"Well, I suppose having a kid with you wouldn't be so bad." Your stomach flutters at the statement. He shakes his head and laughs again. "You've taken over my apartment, my free time, my money, my friends and my autonomy."

"That's how girlfriends work."

"Psychopathic girlfriends."

"Watch your mouth before I take your will to live too."

"Too late, you took that a long time ago."

"What happened to the guy who was always blushing around me?"

"He was weak and died." He says. "And you're the psychopath that killed him." You snort, the way he's loosened up around you in the past few months of you dating has been surprising, but a wonderful side to him, being the only person he's this comfortable around. "What do I have to do to win you back?" He asks.

"1,000 gil." He laughs again. "Anything else?"

"A kiss."

"I'm not kissing a psychopath." 

"Unfortunately," You smile, leaning over his face. "I've taken away your autonomy." He leans up to peck your lips, taking the cat out of your hands and sitting up. "Cloud Strife." You say seriously.

"Mhm." He hums, stroking the cat.

"Do you love me?"

"No." He says simply, still petting the kitten.

"So when you told me before the mission started that you loved me, that was a lie?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And when we-"

"Yes." He says, nodding his head, the serious expression on his face making it hard for you to keep a straight face.

"You're so mean."

"You were just going to try get more money out of me, which is ridiculous when I've just let you keep this kitten."

"You're admitting she's staying?"

He scoops the kitten up, holding her against his face. "If we're keeping her, she's sleeping on the floor."

"Poor General Grievous." He laughs again, this time there's a knock on the door. 

"Come in."

Tifa walks in, her arms crossed. "What is going on in here? I don't think I've ever heard Cloud laugh in my life. It's terrifying. Y/n, what did you do to him?"

"This. This is what she did to me." Tifa sees the kitten in his hands, gasping, running over and grabbing her out of his hands. Followed by a series of repeated 'oh my gods' 'aww' 'she's so cute!'. You shake your head at Cloud. 

"You've only had her 10 minutes and you've already let her get kidnapped."

"All part of the plan."

"What did you name her? Oh, she's so precious. She looks just like Fluffy did."

"Y/n's stuck between General Grievous and Cloud Strife."

"You're terrible."

"A good one just came to me! Buster!" Cloud said.

"Yes!" Tifa shouted. 

"Fenrir!"

"No!"

"Okay, okay, how about General Nefarious," Cloud said, mimicking you.

"That's worse!" You say, throwing a pillow at his face.

"Buster. A good name for a kitten with two badass parents with two badass aunties." Tifa smiled.

"To clear it up, Cloud's a mommy and I'm a daddy and we're raising her to be the greatest kitten, no, creature in the universe." Cloud gave you a look of disgust, Tifa giggling as she played with the kitten. 

"I can't believe you didn't tell me right away."

"If you like her that much, you can have her." Cloud said.

"Cloud!"

"That offer still stands." He mouths to Tifa, she smiles and puts Buster back on his lap.

"Well, I have work tomorrow so you can figure that out among yourselves. See you later, mommy." She said, kissing the kitten on the head and making her leave.

"This is what I get for letting her come in. She calls me mommy. I can't imagine how you could make my life any worse." 

"I'll find a way, starting with letting you get some rest." You say, flipping the lights off, picking Buster up and going to put her in a makeshift box in the corner, made out of a box you found her in and blankets. You lay down beside him, and he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you against him, nuzzling into your neck.

"I hate you so much." He murmurs, kissing your neck, making your skin tingle.

"Oh really?"

"My girlfriend is the most annoying person in the world. It's not my fault."

"I'm going to make your life miserable."

"I've heard."

 You roll your eyes, kissing him one final time. "Goodnight."

"Night."

"I love you."

"Liar."

...

The next morning, you wake up and see Cloud with Buster snoring on his chest and a hand cradling her back…

Maybe he does like cats.

a/n: this is kind of shit but it was such a fun fic to write

[fou4summer]

MATH OR DINOSAURS? ━━ yoo jaeyi x fem!reader 🦖

synopsis: you and Jaeyi just started dating and during a study date, you can't help but notice that she talks about dinosaurs more than the math problems you're supposed to be working on.

warnings: making out

genre: fluff

word count: 1k

You adored Jaeyi ever since you two started dating. At first, she was all serious and reserved, but as days went by, she became softer, leading to now, where she leaves dino candies on your table.

Most of the time, your friend Choi Kyung would eat them, claiming that Jaeyi only left the wrapper without the chocolate, but you always laughed when you saw the chocolate smeared on her mouth.

“Im telling you she ate it before giving it to you Y/N!” She said, nudging your shoulder, giggling, and covering her mouth.

“Yeah right! Stop playing Kyung!” You tried to remove her hands from her mouth. Thats when you felt someone touch your shoulder. You turned around to see Jaeyi standing there awkwardly.

“Hey Y/N! Would you like to come over at 4 or 5 PM today for math?” Her hands were full of biology books and a dinosaur encyclopedia.

“Hmmm….does 5PM work for you baby?” You replied, looking up at her, waiting for an answer. Instead, her face turned red at the pet name she still hadnt gotten used to.

Her books dropped to the floor and she hit her head on the table while bending down to pick them up. Kyung was dying of laughter, hitting your arm and the table.

“Hey stop laughing—! Baby are you okay?” You crouched down, placing a hand over the spot where she hit her head. She nodded quickly, picked up her books, and rushed out of the classroom.

“To the bathroom she goes! If you get me.….” Kyung laughed again until you hit her arm hard enough to shut her up.

“Ughhhh not my fault Im funny.….You just don’t get it!” She said, holding the spot where you hit her before saying something else ridiculous.

-

You were now at Jaeyis door, still never quite used to how big her house was. You heard someone running on the other side, and when the door opened, there she was, Jaeyi, panting.

“Did you run Jaeyi?” You let out a chuckle, making her flush and nod. You opened your arms, waiting for a welcoming hug. She smiled, resting her head on your shoulder before wrapping her arms around your waist.

She nuzzled into your neck, softly whining, “I missed you.” After a few cuddly minutes, she told you to follow her.

“Oh baby you got a new lego dinosaur! Whoa its huge!” You said, admiring the dino on the shelf.

“OH YEAH—oops sorry got excited. But yes I did! My sister got it for me!” She smiled wide, placing her hand on your lower back. You turned around, leaned in and kissed her.

It started as a soft peck, then quickly deepened, your tongue tracing her lips, seeking entrance. She allowed it, opening her mouth and gripping your shirt tightly.

Jaeyi was a great kisser, despite her nerdy personality. She always knew exactly where to place her hands to make you fold. Without fail she was the first to pull away, retreating into her usual shy self.

“Uhmm.….d—did you know that the longest dinosaur was Argentinosaurus which measured over 40 meters? Crazy righttt!!?” She mumbled, looking anywhere but into your eyes. You stared directly at her just to see her reaction.

“Are you gonna eat me alive like a Tyrannosaurus?” She asked, placing her hands over her eyes and peeking through her fingers. You laughed and poked her waist gently.

“Are we gonna do that math, or are you trying to convince me to resurrect your favorite dinosaur?” You teased, opening her math textbook and flipping to the page you needed for the test.

“This is the first time you’ve picked up the book without me making you.….im kind of proud…” She mumbled and you gasped.

“Did you just make fun of me? Are you saying I dont study at all? Wow baby.….” You faked being offended, knowing full well she’d get sad in about ten seconds.

“N—No Y/N! Im sorry!! You’re a great student, uhh the best one! Dont be mad here...” She reached into her drawer and pulled out a dino sticker that said

'I love you as much as dinosaurs love meat and plants.'

“Im joking love.….Thanks for the sticker. Its very... you.” You took it from her and placed it on your phone case.

-

You two were actually studying now, for about 30 minutes, before Jaeyi excused herself to take a shower. According to her, she had to shower at exactly 8PM or she wouldnt be able to fall asleep later. She was truly one of a kind.

When she came back, she smelled so fresh, and her cute dino pajamas didnt make it any easier to focus. She sat down next to you, explaining how to solve the next equation, when you suddenly leaned in and kissed her neck.

“Y/N.…hey...!” She mumbled, closing her eyes and dropping her pen. Jaeyi was really sensitive on her neck, and even though she always claimed she hated it, you knew she secretly loved it.

Suddenly Jaeyis sister barged in and burst out laughing.

“Oh wow studying math or...? Also Jaeyi, are you gonna shit yourself? Why are you so tense???” She grabbed Jaeyis charger and walked out.

“Knooock!”Jaeyi yelled and rushed to close the door, then came back, sat in your lap and rested her head on your shoulder.

“I wish I were a big dinosaur so I could scare her away from my room…..” She mumbled. You cradled her head gently and not long after, she fell asleep like a baby.

You didn’t understand a thing she explained about math, buuuut at least you knew a few more dinosaur facts.

[puppyguppy]

You've been down this damn aisle way too long. Despite not having actually checked the time, you just know it. You can feel it. You've seen others come and go; grab what they need, like a pillow or some new sheets, then leave. But not you. Since apparently, choosing a new mattress has solidified itself as a life or death sort of situation inside of your head. It shouldn't have been this hard -- wouldn't be this hard, if you hadn't seen the sale going on. They're offering the next size up for the price of the next size down. So, like -- you could get a king, for the price of the queen you'd come here for. You've almost always had a queen, at least since being a teenager. And a queen is fine, a queen is good, just enough space for you to roll around some, pick a cooler side if need be, with a corner or two left open for the pet you might actually own someday. All in all, a queen is perfect, so really, there's no need to upsize. You've never even considered it until now. It just seems kind of stupid to turn down such a deal. More comfort, for less? But then...you'll need new sheets. A new comforter. A new duvet. Hell, might as well just get a whole new set for the whole new mattress, right? And, it doesn't make much sense to put old pillows on a new bed, so -- "They never tell you that beds will be one of your biggest battles in adulthood." You jolt, startled out of your spiraling thoughts by a deep, rich mumble. You hadn't noticed the man you've been sharing the aisle with for...gods, you hope it wasn't long. Long enough for him to piece together the puzzle of your struggle, though. You shake off the little scare with a laugh, the feeling only lingering in the goosebumps down your arms. "It wasn't supposed to be this hard. I came here with a plan, believe it or not." The stranger hums, and while he seems to peruse the options, you take a quick few seconds to, well. Peruse him. Tall, dark, and handsome is the gist. Wavy hair thrown half up his head, like maybe he'd been in a hurry, or working out, or just woken up. A bit unkempt, but not unattractive. Stalky, scruffy, and decked out in all colors almost black despite the season. At least they seem loose, everywhere except for where his hands are shoved into his pockets, straining the fabric slightly, and you can't help but wonder -- "One should always have a Plan B. Even maybe C through Z." You laugh again, because really, this is ridiculous, and you should just grab the goddamn bed you'd come here for. Mattresses shouldn't require complex mathematics, an entire alphabet's worth of backup plans, or the entire length of the human emotional spectrum. "Yeah, yeah," you huff, now a bit embarrassed. You're a grown ass adult and yet you feel like you've just been scolded by a highschool teacher or something. "The sale just caught me off guard. I don't want to regret it if I just settle for a queen and miss the chance. Besides, if I get a king and don't like it, I can always just return it, right?" The man shrugs. "Or you could save yourself the trouble. It's not like your room is big enough for a king." You laugh for a third time, because oh, oh my god, he's right. Here you've been fretting and stressing (and honestly? sweating) over beds, when really, there was never a choice. There was just the illusion of choice. You got excited over a sale, about the possibility of an upgrade, and completely forgot about the very real dimensions of your bedroom. And why you've stuck with a queen. "Fuck, you're so right. I couldn't possibly fit a -" You stop. You stop and blink. Because he is right. The goosebumps from just minutes ago shoot straight down to your toes. You swallow, saliva thickening in your throat like cement. "...How do you know that?"

[k1ttenblood]

Headcanons for my Modern!Tlou AU

Hopefully this adds extra context for my random posts lmao.

Disclaimer: All of these photos are from Pinterest, just some headcanons for what I think the characters look like in my universe. Might expand to the other characters later.

Also I'm NOT a fandom blog. Don't follow unless you wanna follow an aesthetic blog 💖👍

Edit: Added some keychains for the main crew! And songs that remind me of everyone

Ellie

- Childhood bestfriend. You guys were neighbors but you actually met during school when you were in the library watching the Magic School Bus. She strikes me as a Goosebumps kid

- You'd go on road trips with Joel together, and as adults you randomly fuck off into Ellie's car and drive somewhere for the weekend

- Ellie had to have watched SpongeBob all the fucking time as a kid, it's the only way Joel could have her sit still for hours. Even if it cost him a bit of his sanity every time the sponge from hell laughed

- Not a picky eater but does prefer the basics, aka what she's most comfortable with. I think the go-to meal Joel makes for her is mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets mixed veg and gravy. You can invite her over for a dinner party and feed her mac and cheese and hot dogs, she's tearing it UP

- Loser lesbian at her core, what else do you expect from her

- Funnily enough I do HC her as a sneakerhead despite wearing her decaying converse all the time

- Grew up playing soccer because Joel heard extracurriculars were important for kids. She sucked at it though. Begged to stop playing and did astronomy clubs instead. Actually wasn't all that interested in art class, she felt like it rushed the creative process

- She had a serious Justin Bieber phase, fight me on it. I have a headcanon that she performed a dance to one of his early songs in middle school for a girl that she liked. Knowing her, it probably worked

- Speaking of, I feel like she's a good dancer. Shockingly good, even

- Likes rap and dad rock, listens to country music only when she visits the south with Joel because "It just feels right"

- Loves casual hangouts. You drive into a parking lot, she puts her feet up on the dash and vapes, you both share the most ridiculous McDonald's order and have a yap session

- Working with her is like working with Mordecai and Rigby rolled into one clown. You call her Rigby when she’s being a brat, but she insists that she’s more like Mordecai because she draws 🙄

- Nearly everyone headcanons her with adhd and I agree! That being said she suffers like hell from rejection sensitivity, shoves it down with brute force and weed

- Probably down to do anything from impromptu grocery runs to bicycling for 4 hours to the middle of nowhere

- Arrest me for this but I believe she had a fuckboy moment. Not a heavy one, just briefly in college before she crumbled under the weight of her greasy ways

- Video game streamer Ellie is canon to me, she likes horror games the most

- Pretends not to be into gossip, but your weekly pizza nights say otherwise. Tells you everything about Joel and Tess's relationship, everything about what the library patrons have said while she was within earshot, the crazy thing she saw the manager at the deli by her apartment doing, you name it.

- All that said, girlie can't hold water. Don't tell her any secrets

- """"Begrudgingly""""" hangs out with you and Dina during your "girly" hangouts, will not admit that she had a good time shopping for sundresses and watching the 2 of you try on the most ridiculous wedges you could find. Did have a good time watching you fall into the closest clothing pile after putting on 7 inch rainbow pom-pom sandals. Whines when you 2 listen to Taylor Swift or watch early 00s chick-flicks

- Pets every stray cat she sees, is personally offended when they run away from her and sulks

- HUFFS the air when you drive past fast-food chains and gas stations

- Gets the worst hangovers, whines like a bitch the whole day

- She works in the kids department of the library, spends entirely too much time playing games with them

- You referred her to the library work as a page until she graduated from her undergrad program, then she joined the rest of the team

Dina

- Literally THE girl best friend

- Has a lot of friends, but very few that she considers actually close

- Annoyingly good at almost everything. Speaking another language? Got it. Karaoke? Amazing. Baking? You wouldn't guess that she had no idea how to make cupcakes. She can probably fly and glow in the dark too

- Is the perfect extrovert companion. Drags you to parties on occasion, but doesn’t leave you alone the whole time because she’s an angel

- Wears cute outfits all the time, even her lazy outfits are perfect

- The libra energy is strong with this one, maybe leo moon and aquarius rising? She looks up your birth chart the second you become established friends. “Ooooh yeah, no no yeah this all makes sense now.” “What’s that supposed to mean 🙂” “Oh honey… nothing 🤭”

- Carries an assortment of lip balm in her purse, a disturbing amount if we’re being honest

- Doesn't play video games but is crazy good and wii sports and just dance

- Never has a hangover. She may not be human considering the way she throws back shots

- Met when you started your first day at the library

- She mainly works the front desk

- Def thought you didn't like her when you were first brought onto the library team. She's very bubbly and extroverted, your introverted reserved nature might've come off the wrong way at first

- 2 weeks of awkward conversations eventually morphed into an even more awkward silence. She still smiles at you and greets you/says goodnight when you leave, but the unease is *strong*. Now you have to think on your feet.

- Oh? Corporate 101??? Everyone loves donuts. You drag in about 24 donuts the next day.

"Y/N, you know you really didn't have to-"

"-Jesse through mouthfuls of glazed donut- Don't listen to her y/n, you're a goddess."

"It's fine!! Seriously, it's just a thank you gift for uhh, being so cool and nice."

- You really saved your ass there, especially after a few awkward “Are you guys watching -insert tv show- omg I love this character” nudges. You’re no extrovert but it works, or they’re taking pity on your strained attempts at socializing. A win is a win

- Very soon you’ve made 2 actual friends!!

- Your first one on one hangout is at the mall. Dina goes crazy for bath and body works/white barn. You guys tried to have blind sniff test but 10 minutes in everything smelled the same :/// The day ends with lots of giggling and froyo

- Sleepovers with her are the best. You’ve got tarot cards, movies, self care goodies, snacks. This became a special monthly ritual that Ellie totally wasn’t jealous of once she found out. She gets to join you guys… sometimes

- Will take secrets to the grave, all the tea from the sleepovers never leaves the bedroom. Girl has a mind like a steel fortress. Meaning she doesn’t budge when Ellie asks her 270 questions about some secret you guys shared a month ago

Jesse

- Works with the seniors and their computers in the library. He's got the patience of a god

- He seems so chill but I feel like his weak spot is board games. Quickly loses composure if it even looks like you got an unfair advantage “I’m not saying that you’re cheating but are you FUCKING KIDDI-”

- That being said, mario kart is also off limits with your group. All 4 of you barely looked at each other for 3 days after one night-in of FrIeNdLy gaming

- You would think dina is the glue holding the group together but I think it’s him

- He’s as chill as it gets, his road rage episodes are like “-sticks head out of window- Dude… 👎”

- Cool big brother energy x12 is diligent and responsible, it’s almost sickening to you and Ellie sometimes. Mostly endearing, like when he chased an older lady to give her her pocketbook that she dropped, but it looked like a strange large man was running after her so she beat him with her umbrella. She was super apologetic and gave him a $5 after, though

- Lives and breathes soup?? The employee break room is 50% containers of soup from the Whole Foods down the block

- Doesn’t get horrible hangovers but is sweaty and giggly the whole event

- Is somehow both an old man and a kid in one 20 something year old’s body. You can take him out for his birthday and give him a little birthday hat and he’s ecstatic as he blows out his rainbow sparkler candles. But you asked him what he wanted as a gift 5 separate times and he literally only wanted socks and a new iron 😐

- The human furnace of the group. It's a strange sight for the passerbys that see 3 women huddling under him while waiting in line for pizza during the winter

- Not so secretly mooches off Dina’s self care stash. She’s going crazy thinking that she somehow lost 3 high end rice water hair masks and 2 aloe under eye patches. That is until she walks into the bathroom and sees Jesse living his best life in the bathtub. With her Lily of the Valley bath bomb, of course. 

- The first one on one hangout was actually an accident. You bumped into each other while running errands. Somehow picking up floss at CVS turned into 2 hours of fooling around at Costco and eating a concerning amount of samples. He helps you bring home your groceries and spend the evening eating a massive bag of frozen fries and watching old reality shows. He loves the early episodes of the Kardashians and pretends not to have a favorite (it’s clearly Khloe).  

- He's the glue that holds the group together on bad days. He consoles Ellie when she’s having her bimonthly “my friends hate me” spiral, calms Dina down when she gets burnt out and goes totally silent, and brings you back down to earth when you’re overstimulated and miserable. He rarely gets upset but when he is, Dina “razzle dazzles him up”, in Ellie’s words (you didn’t dare ask for the details). That, or you all smother him with doe eyes and favors. 

Abby

- Acts like a shepherd dog. I think in every universe, Abby has a need to lead and protect. I imagine that without the obvious external pressures (haha zombie apocalypse hehe) she’d put those instincts into productive management, if her father is alive. But I hate excessive heartbreak so he’s alive here 🥺 

- Pretends to hate baby talk and cheesy nicknames, but also loves when she gets to lay on top of you under her favorite blanket and you massage her scalp and kiss her nose and call her your snuggly puppy. Also does the most adorable nose wrinkle when she scoffs that adds to it

- She's afraid of heights because she lost her mom in a private jet accident when she was little. Her dad tried to push for therapy but it wasn’t effective at her young age

- Really quiet and always looks composed. Probably has elevator music playing in her head half the time if she’s not reading or working though

- Hella RBF after work, she just wants to go home, bathe, eat, get some kisses and sleep.

- Referring to P1 of Pride and pretentiousness. In this AU I HC that she had a past of being a bit naive in her relationships. She believes in honesty, solidarity, and protecting her loved ones. These qualities are hard to come by in her rich kid world

- She's very authentic and believes in personal integrity, she's always been this way. Also she's a massive nerd and she's tall and wears glasses, I have a hard time believing she didn't get teased in middle school and parts of high school for all that lmao. She started her weight lifting journey around this time, partially for the teasing and partially because she hated seeing other people be harassed for no reason.

- She doesn't go to the hair salon. Absolutely hates people touching her hair, it feels too intimate for her. Absolutely melts when you brush it for her after a relaxing bath, you joke that you can see her tail wagging

- Joined a youth military summer camp from junior to senior year of high school. The original goal was for her to properly join at some point, but being there opened her eyes to a lot of worldly prejudice that had been instilled in her. It was like her champagne bubble world view popped.

- Had a difficult time coming out to her father. He's super busy and tired, and she's his practically picture perfect daughter. It obviously goes over really well and Jerry pretends to be clueless but I think he had a hunch after 9 year old Abby gave another girl her jacket and walked her home from the playground

- Ticklish feet, soft hands, buff mixed with fluff because she's got puppy fat on her tummy and face

- Definition of quiet luxury. Doesn't like to make a spectacle pretty much ever

- Is definitely the quiet, strong, dignified type. The two of you resemble a more classic type of couple, in some ways. The older couples at her country club love it

- She doesn't date much, she doesn't have the time and doesn't want to make the investment, but once you're together the feelings nearly suffocate her

- So clingy in private, you guys are attached at the hip, even when you're sleeping. There's pretty much no "side of the bed", you're attached like octopuses

- Matching onesies 👀 She wears a puppy onesie and you wear a cat one

- Fights between you two aren't common. Disagreements are usually exchanged exasperated looks at best, or silence, pouting, and apologetic kisses at worst

- I don't write smut but: I feel like between Abby coming out in her late teens, being a bit guarded, and constantly working, she's built up a lot of needs/frustration. Once the two of you are together the dam bursts. The sex can be anything from sweet and vulnerable to passionate and possessive

- Jumping on the "Abby has basically no alcohol tolerance" bandwagon. She sips wine sometimes and that's it. Even then she's a little silly and needy after 1 glass

- She's never watched SpongeBob. Ellie nearly keeled over when she heard that. You only found out because she asked what you guys were talking about when you quoted the Bubblestand episode. Had absolutely no idea why the 2 of you were laughing at a stuffed elephant and calling it a giraffe. Ellie isn't too sure what you see in someone so uncultured

[buryhny]

One Night stand ; 04

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n → contains smut, fluff and angst → Chapter Four ; wc | 3.1 k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

Working couldn't have been any better, it keeps you occupied and it feels amazing to be doing something you love and spent years learning for. it's been a little over 2 weeks now and you will be lying if you say you don't miss working at the cafe. that has to be one of the loveliest times of being an adult, trying new coffee arts for different customers, being recognised but your favourite everyday coffee lovers, serving pastries and cakes to students who come to the cafe to study or do their homework. 

you also miss the aroma of the coffee beans, it always makes you feel like home and whenever the weekend comes by, you don't forget to pass by the little shop to collect your daily order, honey almond milk with extra cream and caramel. working with Hoseok comes with new stories every day. that man has got a lot of stuff to talk about and that has made the two of you really good friends.

he's always ready to lend a hand when you need any help or are in doubt with certain areas of work, the man makes sure to have lunch together and it's become a routine now. which you've adjusted in no time, shows how badly you wanted this job. you've managed to keep up with going to the gym too, instead of the week days you chose to go during the weekends so it's stress free and you've got the time to relax after too. 

Kayla and a few other girls called you a couple of times over the weeks to hangout at the club but you declined to join them because you've got enough on your plate to handle besides you can't suffer from hangovers when there's already a pile of work load.

"I won't be flying anytime soon mom. Don't be ridiculous!"

You laughed at her words sitting upright and crossing your feet on the couch, your darling mother has been missing you so much that she wants you to fly back to Canada.

"Am I being ridiculous for wanting to see my one and only daughter. It's been 2 years! " She huffed earning a giggle from you, as she did the same. "How's the Job? Is your boss treating you right?" She questioned curiously, that caused you to roll your eyes, with a deep exhale leaving your lips, there's only so much you could tell your mom about him. "he's fine, can be annoying." "Y/n don't say that-" "mom, you have no idea. Anyway I'll hang up now, I'll call you over the weekend bye." "Y/n-" "bye mom, love you-"

you declined the call, aware that she's gonna give you a little speech and then throw questions at you. There's no time to answer all that. You've now got a Clothes brand to advertise for and that's so exciting!

you've been working on this for days, it's tiring but you're enjoying this new experience. However you do feel lonely in your apartment, the sounds of the TV only keeps the room from being silent. Playing your 'work' Spotify playlist, you sing along while typing in your laptop. you wish you'd made more friends or got a pet.

The song that played next was a slowed reverb of 'Streets' by Doja cat, you glanced at the TV and then sighed, leaving a scowled look on your face. 'Streets' has always been a sensual song but this slowed down version only reminded you of that one night.

"No- no no stop right there y/n." When those visions were about to conduct your mind, you immediately change the song.

-

During lunch break, you were engrossed in a lively conversation with Hoseok. Both of you burst out laughing as you recounted the time you slipped in the bathtub and hit your knee so hard it looked like you were kneeling to a ghost.

Just as you were enjoying the chat, your CEO, Jeon Jungkook, rudely interrupted. "Ms. Lee! Did you forget there's a meeting today?" You stood up respectfully, puzzled. As far as you knew, there was no meeting scheduled. "Sorry, Mr. Jeon, but I don't have any meetings scheduled for today-" "Well, are you busy right now?" he asked sharply, his chest puffed out and hands in his pockets. Feeling uneasy, you shifted from foot to foot under his scrutiny. The eyes of the staff and Hoseok flicked between Jungkook and you. Jungkook rarely came to the café on the ground floor, preferring meals in his office.

"Uh- I'm not exactly bus-"

"You could use this time more productively with the creative team rather than having," he glanced disapprovingly at Hoseok and then back at you, "a little chit chat here. Get to work, Ms. Lee. Right. Now." He turned and walked away, leaving the surrounding staff in shocked silence.

You swallowed hard, clearing your throat as you packed away your uneaten croissant. you found this whole situation to be embarrassing and humiliating. he didn't have to create a scene in front of the staff. Would he lose a piece of himself if he had called you over personally for a few minutes instead of snapping at you in a public area.

"I- I'll catch up with you later, Hoseok. Enjoy your meal," you muttered, forcing a tight smile. Ignoring Hoseok's concerned response, you hurried away, you didn't want to spend any more time at the place where you were shamed. Jungkook's public reprimand made your blood boil. You wished you could confront him and wipe that smug look off his face, if he thinks he can do this stunt again then he's wrong. he does not know who Lee Y/n is. 

As you entered the boardroom with your iPad and laptop that was of the company, you found it empty. Puzzled, you approached the manager in the section. You clearly had an irritated look on your face and now seeing the boardroom empty only made the frown on your face deeper.

"Where's the meeting?" you questioned the man and he looked at you, confused. "There's no meeting scheduled today." Feeling a surge of frustration, you stormed back to your desk, only to receive a call on the office phone. "Hell-" "At my office," Jungkook interrupted.

His abruptness left you fuming, you could feel the heat pass out your ears and nose. Gathering your belongings hastily, you made your way to the 32nd floor, knocked on his door, and poked your head in. Jungkook was in the middle of a conversation with another man.

"Excuse me, Mr. Jeon, may I come in?" you murmured. Upon his nod, you entered and noticed Park Jimin seated there, which only made you inwardly groan. Jungkook gestured for you to sit beside Jimin. "you've both been called here to test your skills. Park Jimin has been with us for a little over-"

"Four years, Mr. Jeon," Jimin interjected smugly, no one has the right to interrupt the CEO but Jimin gave no fucks, even though the interruption left Jungkook annoyed he didn't let it show on his features.

"A little over four years," Jungkook continued, "and Ms. Lee," he gave you a nearly mocking smile, "has been here for a little over two weeks." You nodded in determination, unsure where this was heading. "I've heard about the incident in the basement. Does that ring a bell?" Jungkook's fingers tightened around his ring.

Jimin gave you a sideways glance. "Ms. Lee holds a higher position than you, Mr. Park, but now I'm beginning to doubt that." Your eyes widened in shock, while Jimin seemed to internally celebrate. "I've been observing your work, Mr. Park, and I find your ideas unique. Therefore, I have a challenge for Ms. Lee and Mr. Park. I need your ideas for a new makeup brand project. Can you handle it along with your other responsibilities?"

Both of you nodded obediently. "Details will be sent by email," Jungkook said, casting a glance at you before focusing on his fingers. "I want detailed ideas, no personal opinions. Understand, Ms. Lee?"

You felt the sting of his words when he pulled up one of the worst nightmares of working here, but you managed to reply with confidence, "Yes, Mr. Jeon." "Good." He smirked as you stood up, exiting the room. Jimin's smug expression only added to your irritation.

"No one cares about your opinions, Ms. Lee. Be ready to switch to a lower position soon," Jimin taunted with his smile and tone, but you weren't one to let go easily.  "Did you just admit you're in a lower position, Park Jimin?" you voice out your thoughts, stopping the man's feet from walking away. he turned to face you, he had his frustration shown in his lips and eyebrows.

"Not for long. I'll be taking yours soon enough," he chuckled in a mocking tone, leaving you fuming. Park knows how to handle people, he's fully aware of how he's gonna respond to each word thrown at him and he gladly takes it and slaps it back.

Back at your desk, you bit the inside of your cheek in frustration, you need to calm down. Working with anger issues is difficult especially when you've got a stupid arrogant boss and co-workers that test your patience at each step and breath you take. Rosé approached with some files, sensing something was wrong.

"Everything okay?" she asked curiously as she gives you a soft concerning look, leaving the files on your desk, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Yeah, just got more work from Mr. Jeon," you replied with a smile, not showing any signs of worry or anger on your face. you really appreciated her support and care. 

The day dragged on, and by the time you were ready to leave, you still hadn't received the email with project details, which only added to your frustration.

Kayla

Wanna hang out at least today?

Please girl!

It's been a while :(

It's true, it's been awhile since you last met her. Maybe hanging out today will be fun. Besides, the details weren't sent either so work can wait.

Y/n

Alright where?

Kayla

Club, down the street of Popeyes

Y/n

No, no clubbing

Café?

Kayla

what?! So boring god

Fine

You can unmistakably detect her irritation. Yet, the idea of heading out clubbing with all the accumulated stress and responsibilities feels daunting. Tomorrow being Wednesday, a workday, waking up at 7 a.m. with a hangover is the last thing you desire. Everyone has vacated your floor, leaving you in solitude except for two employees who share laughter at the far end of the corridor. Making your way to the elevator, weariness weighs on you, though there's a flicker of anticipation to reunite with your friend. You're well aware she has plenty to share, judging by her eagerness to meet. 

As the elevator doors shut, you lean against the corner, shutting your eyes. The prolonged hours staring at the screen have left your eyes burning, and the need to rest them is evident. you know that it's just about a month since you joined. you can't afford to strain your eyes too much. However, you've been experiencing fatigue lately, the cause of which remains unknown. you feel different, unlike you. like the insides of your system have changed their settings. The elevator halts and opens a couple of times, weary staff members stepping in and out.

A robust waft of black vanilla scent greets you as the elevator stops on the 12th floor. Inhaling deeply, you recognize the unmistakable scent. Your eyes remain shut, a departure from your usual acknowledgment. Jungkook takes a passing glance at you, rolling his eyes as he mutters 'cheesecake' mockingly under his breath, shooting a sidelong glance. His thoughts about you are unclear. You bear no resemblance to the girl he encountered at the club. The realization of the influence he holds surprises him. Shooting you a frosty stare, he observes you exhale audibly before the elevator reaches the basement.

You open your eyes, exiting alongside Jungkook, offering a respectful bow to avoid leaving a negative impression on him. You head left while he veers right towards your respective cars. No words are exchanged. No eye contact is made.

-

"Gurl, work has turned you into such a bore, but I've missed you!" Kayla envelops you in a tight hug, instantly easing your tension. The exhaustion from work compounded with being single feels draining.You settle beside her, opting for hot chocolate and a simple chicken sandwich for dinner, the aroma of the sandwich is unpleasant and it's weird because you usually love the food in this cafe. but all you want is to retreat to the comfort of your soft bed at home and sleep.

"What's up with your boss? Has he been hitting on you or-" "Ew, no," you cringe at the suggestion, repulsed by the idea. There's no way you could view him in that light anymore. Kayla regards you suspiciously. "Why? he was your one-night fling, correct?"

Her words catch you off guard, why bring this up now? Kayla awaits your reaction, sipping on her iced latte while fixing her gaze on you. "He's just my boss now, Kay, that's it." Sensing your reluctance to delve further, she nods and shifts the conversation. She spends the next 30 minutes venting about a male colleague who seems overly interested in her conversations. Despite the intriguing topic, exhaustion gradually pulls you away from the present, causing you to close your eyes intermittently. 

Kayla instructs the café waiter to pack your sandwich to go since you haven't had dinner. She calls out your name a few times, eventually having to shake you awake as you're about to drive home. It's only 11 p.m., and you had planned to work until at least 1 a.m. Lately, however, you've been mentally drained, perhaps due to lack of sleep. After forcing yourself to shower, you collapse onto your bed, sleep enveloping you instantly.

Hoseok [ 12: 02 am]

Y/n, I'm so sorry for the late notice but could you give Kim Miniso's file to Mr Jeon tomorrow,

Like as soon as you get to the office. I know it's short notice, I trust you so please do, i've got an emergency and it's too late to inform Mr Jeon.

-

"Good morning Y/n, did you sleep well?" Rosè greeted you as you emerged from the elevator. You appeared refreshed, sporting a morning glow, a rarity due to your typically poor sleep quality. "Morning Rosè, I did. Very well." You chuckled in agreement as she walked alongside you, giving your shoulder a friendly pat upon reaching your desk. She proceeded to retrieve the keys for her drawers while you reflected on the benefits of getting more than three hours of sleep—it certainly made a difference. 

Today, you felt lighter, confident that work would go smoothly. You approached the day with determination, eager to outshine Park Jimin in the upcoming presentation. If he had an ego, so did you, and you refused to let him undermine your efforts, especially when it came to your hard-earned position. With the meeting scheduled for 2 p.m., you had ample time to prepare. Assisting your colleagues with their tasks and projects, you found satisfaction in their cooperation. The hours passed swiftly as you coordinated and organized items for upcoming shoots, ensuring timely completion of all projects.

"Yeah, I'll get my iPad, just a se—" The office phone's shrill ring interrupted you abruptly. Only the CEO himself would call you. "Lee Y/n speaking—" "To the office now!" His abrupt demand left you gasping, your expression tight-lipped and tense. 'What did he want now? Jerk.'You muttered curses under your breath as you dragged yourself to his office, dreading the encounter. Knocking on his door, you cautiously poked your head in. "May I come i—" "Walk in!"

His tone was unusually harsh, leaving you puzzled and annoyed. 'Why was he behaving this way?' You entered, taking slow steps until you stood before his desk, hands clasped behind your back. "Yes, Mr. Jeon?" "Where the hell is my file? Why have I not received it yet?" Panic surged through you as you realized you had forgotten about the file completely. Your hands trembled, and you met his glare with concern. "I-it's at my—"

"Bring it to me, right fuc- right now." His anger was palpable, evident in his reddened ears and clenched fists. "Right now, I said." His command prompted you to bolt out of his cabin in a frantic search for the file that should have been on his desk by 9 a.m. 'How could you forget?' Anxiety gnawed at you, knowing that Hoseok would also face consequences for this oversight. You bit your lip nervously, feeling the weight of his anger. He seemed too furious, almost scary. Hurriedly grabbing the file from Hoseok's drawer, you dashed to the CEO's office, hesitating outside his door. Hoping to avoid his wrath, you knocked and entered when he bid you to.

Placing the file on his desk, you bowed and apologized for your mistake. "This won't be repeated. Please excuse my mistake, Mr. Jeon." He remained silent, not even acknowledging your apology. Gesturing for you to leave, you exited quietly.

As you pondered, it dawned on you that the meeting was fast approaching—the task Mr. Jeon had mentioned. You didn't quite understand the purpose of it, but you had no choice but to comply. With Hoseok absent, the thought of facing Park Jimin alone for the rest of the day filled you with dread. As the creative team assembled for the meeting, you avoided making eye contact with anyone, especially Mr. Jeon. When he and Park finally entered, you kept your gaze fixed on the table, unwilling to meet their eyes. "Good afternoon, creative team. We may proceed with the meeting," Mr. Jeon announced, settling into his chair with a calm tone.

"Alright, let's hear out Park Jimin first." Jimin confidently presented his idea, and despite his arrogance, you couldn't deny his talent as a graphic designer. His proposal received applause, and you stole a glance at Mr. Jeon, who surprisingly appeared pleased. Suddenly, you felt insecure about your own idea. 'What if Mr. Jeon reacted unfavorably?'

"Great work, Mr. Park," Mr. Jeon commended, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity. You loved your idea, but self-doubt crept in, fueled by the day's earlier mistake. "Ms. Lee, please," Mr. Jeon spoke with a hint of annoyance in his voice as he gestured for you to proceed, and you rose from your seat, feeling a sudden wave of sweat despite your usual composure.

As you stood before the group, you felt the tension in the room escalate. However, you couldn't deny feeling proud of your work and determined to prove yourself. Taking a deep breath, you began your presentation, but suddenly, dizziness overcame you. Struggling to maintain your composure, you tried to push through, but before you could finish your sentence, darkness enveloped you, and you collapsed onto the floor.

"Ms. Lee—" "Ms—" "Ms. Lee—"

Muffled voices echoed around you as you slipped into unconsciousness, feeling nothing but coldness enveloping you.

next chapter ⇢

[airybcby]

Omg I love love love your writing sm 🙏💕💕 and the new event is such a good idea I literally wanna eat your writing 😞

Could u request Shidou Ryusei with the emojis 🍉 and 🍭 please?

awee tysm!

a shidou ryusei watermelon lollipop

જ⁀♡⊹｡° it can't last

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event!

♡ content — shidou ryusei x gn! reader, gn! reader, nicnknames of 'baby' and 'sweetheart' used, shidou thinks this is funny, reader dislikes shidou, fake-dating

♡ synopsis — shidou ryusei isn't meant to be a settled down man, but this simulation with you may change his mind.

“Of all the people I could’ve gotten paired with, it just had to be you.”

You stood at the threshold of the shared apartment, glaring at Shidou Ryusei as he lazily leaned against the doorframe. His signature smirk was already in place, like he was thoroughly enjoying your misery.

“C’mon, you know you’re thrilled.” He winked. “Who wouldn’t wanna fake-date me? I’m the total package, baby.”

You rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might get stuck. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

“Or the best time of your life.” He stepped aside, gesturing for you to come in. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

And you couldn't help but be annoyed by the display of your points going from '0' to '10' before you could even step into your new space.

From the beginning, Shidou made it clear he wasn’t going to take this seriously.

“Why bother?” he’d said with a shrug when you tried to go over the program’s guidelines. “This whole thing’s a joke, anyway. Just play along, and we’ll ace it.”

Playing along, as it turned out, meant Shidou being as over-the-top as possible. He’d drape an arm around your shoulders during group activities, call you ridiculously embarrassing pet names in public, and find any excuse to pull you close.

It was all a game to him—a way to keep things interesting. But for you, it was exhausting.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he teased one afternoon after you shoved him off for the third time that day. “You don’t like my affection?”

“It’s not affection if it’s fake,” you snapped, brushing past him.

“Fake?” He tilted his head, his grin turning sharp. “You wound me. I’m a method actor, you know. I don’t fake anything.”

You didn’t dignify that with a response.

Despite his antics, there were moments when Shidou surprised you.

Late at night, when the apartment was quiet, he’d drop the act, his usual bravado replaced with something softer.

“Don’t you ever feel like this whole thing is stupid?” he asked once, sprawled on the couch with his arms behind his head.

You glanced up from your spot at the kitchen table. “What do you mean?”

“This simulation crap.” He waved a hand vaguely. “Pretending to be someone’s perfect match. It’s all so fake.”

You hesitated, unsure how to respond. “I guess… it’s supposed to teach us something. About relationships, or compromise, or whatever.”

He snorted. “Relationships are a waste of time.”

“That’s a pretty cynical take.”

“It’s realistic,” he said, turning his head to look at you. “People just screw each other up. Why bother?”

You didn’t have an answer for that.

As the program went on, you started to notice cracks in Shidou’s façade.

The way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes when he played the role of the perfect “husband.” The way he’d get quiet when the instructors praised other couples for their “genuine connection.” The way he’d occasionally look at you like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.

One night, after a particularly heated argument about how to divide chores, he blurted it out.

“You know, you’re not half-bad at this whole fake partner thing.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Uh… thanks?”

“I’m serious,” he said, his usual smirk nowhere to be seen. “You’re… easy to be around. Even when you’re nagging me.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest, but you pushed the feeling aside. “Don’t get sappy on me now, Shidou.”

He laughed, the tension breaking as quickly as it had formed. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”

The final week of the program arrived faster than you expected.

By then, you and Shidou had settled into a strange rhythm. His over-the-top antics had toned down, replaced with something almost… comfortable.

But you couldn’t ignore the gnawing doubt in the back of your mind. For all his moments of sincerity, Shidou was still Shidou—chaotic, unpredictable, and impossible to pin down.

And you? You were starting to forget where the line between fake and real was supposed to be.

On the last day, as you packed up your things, Shidou lounged in the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression.

“So, what happens now?” he asked casually.

You paused, your hands stilling over your suitcase. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He gestured between the two of you. “Us. Fake-dating or whatever.”

You swallowed hard, unsure how to answer. “The program’s over. I guess we go back to normal.”

“Normal,” he repeated, his tone unreadable. “Yeah. Right.”

For a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence stretched, heavy with things left unsaid.

Then he pushed off the doorframe, his smirk back in place. “Well, it’s been fun, partner. Try not to miss me too much.”

Before you could respond, he was gone, leaving you alone in the empty apartment.

You didn’t know what to make of the way your chest ached as you watched him walk away.

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe Shidou was right—relationships were a waste of time, and pretending could only get you so far.

But a small, stubborn part of you couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened if things had been different. If the line between fake and real had blurred just a little more.

As you closed the door behind you, you told yourself it didn’t matter.

But deep down, you weren’t so sure.

they could never make me hate you shidou

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[daysofyellowroses]

ride

david von erich x reader | 1.5k | based on this lovely lovely request 🫶🏻 | no real warnings, just some softness 🌼💗

It sometimes makes you laugh when you think about how ridiculously stereotypical your relationship is in some ways. You love it, and wouldn't change it for anything, of course, but you really hit some classics.

Neighbors? ✔️

Met as little kids? ✔️

Went through school together? ✔️

First kiss? ✔️

First time? ✔️

Prom King & Queen? ✔️

But, while there are a lot of typical things about your relationship, you like to think you still have your own thing going on too. You and David have been officially dating since you were fourteen years old, you know each other better than anyone. You have your own private jokes, references, pet names, memories. 

It wasn't planned, of course. To get together so young and go through your life together. Hell, you both had a lot of life to live yet. Early twenties weren't exactly over the hill. But you just felt like what you had with David would be forever when you first got together. So far, you haven't been proved wrong.

The two of you always support each other, build each other up and push each other to go for your goals. Sometimes your friends ask if you get jealous now that David has joined Kevin in the ring, and has so much attention from girls. You just laugh when it comes up, there's really no reason to be jealous. If anything it just makes you feel more secure in your relationship. You know David enjoys the attention but he only has eyes for you, you're the one in his bed, in his truck, laying beside him in the grass, his hand intertwined with yours as he talks about your future together. 

It doesn't feel scary, thinking about a future with David. You can see a home, kids, a dog, the whole nine yards. Even if it was just you and him forever, you would still be deliriously happy. 

“What are you smiling about over there?”

David's voice snaps you from your thoughts, and you glance over to the driver's seat. 

“I would tell you but your hat wouldn't fit anymore,” You tease, looking back to the window. “And I would feel guilty, can't have that.”

“Aw come on,” David grins, his hand reaching out to touch your thigh. You're wearing shorts and the feel of his hand on your bare skin feels, as always, deeply comfortable and satisfying. “take the risk.”

“Nope,” You look over and stick your tongue out playfully. “You know anyway. I don't need to tell you.”

“Who says I know?” David is a terrible liar, always has been. 

“You know,” You grinned, shaking your head. “There's very few things that I allow space for in my daydreams.”

“True,” David nods, looking back to the road. The smile on his face has you wanting to kiss him. “And obviously I'm top of that list.”

You roll your eyes with a smile.  

“Stop being so cocky.”

“I don't think so darlin’,” David gently squeezes your thigh. “you love it.”

“Do I?” You raise a brow, knowing you both know the answer.

A comfortable silence falls over you, your hand resting on top of David's. You wonder if you'll ever get tired of this, of getting into his truck with no particular destination in mind. You don't think you could get tired of it, not when it feels so perfect. 

“When is Kerry coming home?” You ask, glancing over to David. He lets out the smallest of sighs, his thumb gently stroking your thigh.

“He leaves tomorrow morning,” David tells you, his eyes still on the road. “Should be home by the evening.”

“Okay,” You nod, gently stroking David's hand. “Just curious.”

“Could you..could you be there?” David asks after a moment. 

“Of course,” You nod, looking over to him. “You think I wouldn't be? It's like you don't even know me, babe. ”

David smiles a little and you feel yourself relax.

“Can't wait to see him though,” He says. “I mean, the circumstances ain't ideal but I can't say I ain't missed him like crazy.”

“It'll be nice to have him back,” You nod. “I'll have to fill him in on all the juicy gossip.”

“Do I get to know?” David teases, glancing over to you. “Or is it top secret stuff?"

“Oh it's just a silly thing,” You sigh with a smile, looking over to your window. “The blonde Von Erich boy is a big hot-shot wrestler now. On TV and everything, you should hear the filth that comes out of his mouth.”

“Oh he sounds incorrigible,” David gasped dramatically, making you laugh. “What a scoundrel.”

“Tell me about it,” You grinned, looking down at your hand on his. “I heard he's got a hot little girlfriend though.”

“Lucky him,” David grinned. “I bet she's got men throwing themselves at her feet, I'm sure he's extremely grateful she chose him.”

“Well when you can have the best, you get the best,” You smile, looking over to David. “And ain't nobody better than you.”

“Not true,” David looked over to you with a cheeky smile. “You're better, and I won't hear otherwise. I was lucky enough to get you and I don't plan to lose you.”

You still felt butterflies in your stomach when he said things like that, and you hoped that would never change.

“I don't plan to lose you either,” You grin, resting your free hand over your forehead. “You're stuck with me.”

“Then I'm the luckiest man alive,” David murmurs softly, you just catch it and it makes your heart soar.

You watch the world pass by the window for a while, the smile etched onto your face. In the moments David needs to move his hand from your thigh you feel the loss, your hand just waiting to hold his.

It's a little embarrassing, really, how in love you are. You have to laugh at yourself sometimes when you get moody because you haven't seen David for a couple of hours, or because he didn't hold your hand long enough. You suppose the fact that you're aware of it makes it better, and it's not really a bad thing. You're lucky enough to have an amazing relationship with a man who you love and who you know loves you.

You look over to him, watch him hum along to the radio, his fingers drumming against the wheel. These are the moments you treasure. All those girls screaming for him and desperately wanting his autograph only see one part of him. They see the confidence and the strength and the charisma, which are all amazing qualities, but they don't see what you see.

They don't see him snort out a drink because you made him laugh unexpectedly, they don't see him singing in his truck, or giving you a bunch of flowers on a Tuesday morning just because. They see what he wants them to see, and you feel beyond honored to see the real David.

“Oh hey, pull in up ahead,” You tell David, sitting up a little and gesturing at the window. “I need to grab something.”

“Your wish is my command baby,” David grins, parking up the truck and giving you a curious look as you wink at him and slip out of the truck.

You don't take long, coming back to the truck with a grin and two ice creams in hand.

“You're such a child,” David laughs as he opens the door for you and accepts one of the cones. “Making me stop for ice cream, really?”

“Well you ain't gotta eat it,” You shrug, closing the door and resting your leg up on your seat. “But we both know you will so stop complaining.”

“Oh I ain't complaining,” David smiles, leaning over and giving you a kiss. “far from it.”

“Eat that before it melts,” You murmur with a grin, leaning in to give him another kiss, pulling back after a moment and holding your ice cream between you both. “I mean it.”

“Yes ma'am,” David grins, sitting back and taking a lick of his ice cream. 

You laugh softly to yourself, looking out the window and licking your ice cream, David's hand finding yours across the seat.

The heat has your ice cream melting a little quicker, conversation is paused while you work on not getting strawberry all down your hand. David finishes before you, as always. You shuffle over and lean against him, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. Occasionally you hold the ice cream up and he takes a lick, insists you have it yourself.

You wonder if a day will ever come when you don't feel stupidly, wonderfully, madly in love, looking up and meeting David's eyes. He sticks his tongue out at you and you lightly jab his cheek with the ice cream in your hand.

“You started it,” You tease as he protests.

“Don't start a war you can't win.”

“Oh it's on,” David grins. You sit up and turn to look at him, your face starting to hurt from smiling so damn much.

“Then give me all you got.”

[s1m0nth3swag]

Don't mind me just giving short drabbles because I'm sitting in class and I'm bored :3

Leon is the love of my life and uhm domestic headcanons will forever be my favourite

live laugh love Leon Scott Kennedy <3

Leon grumbles as you practically push him onto the edge of the bathtub, looking up at you with his adorable blue eyes - for everything he's gone through, he still has that puppy look about him when he's with you. He pouts softly, sighing as you rummage through various cabinets and successfully find what you had been looking for - the Bleach and Toner he usually uses on his hair. Even though Leon is the one that has been complaining about the way his hair looks for the last week, he also absolutely despises getting it done. So instead, he normally would do it himself - which he was too lazy to do this time. Still, nothing but complains about how awful his hair looked grown out like this, how it was getting too long. You were a little fed up, to say the least. Now, you had enough and pushed him into the bathroom, determined to fix his hair issue.

[Helping Leon dye his hair - Some time after RE2, but also fits for RE4 | Leon most definetly dyes his hair blonde and then stops sometime after RE4 because he gets lazy (and a lil depressed) but as someone with dyed hair it's a pain each time imo]

He huffs and sighs and pouts the entire time, while you can't help but giggle a bit at the sight, especially with how ridiculous he looks once the Bleach is setting - you curse yourself for not having your phone nearby to take pictures. Leon would fight you over it anyway, and seriously, he was stronger than you - Government mandated Training and all. The now blonde haired only calms down once you finally rinse for the last time, hair still wet as he stares at you, swiftly shaking his head like a dog, sending droplets flying through the room. You scream slightly, laughing as you feel them hit your skin and clothes, trying to shield yourself. Leon chuckles softly, grabing your hips as he pulls you towards him, resting his head against your chest. A smile places itself on your lips, uncaring that your shirt was now properly soaked as you listen to his soft murmurs of thank yous.

[Vendetta Leon with a (much) younger partner - aka Leon and the internet | your honor what if I love older men]

You hold back a laugh as you hand Leon your phone, a funny meme on it that you had found while randomly scrolling social media for hours. He stares at it, his face scrunching in confusion as he looks up at you, holding your phone as if he didn't know what to do with it. You weren't fully surprised, it had already been a hassle to get him to upgrade his flip phone to a proper smartphone. You can't help but grin, and he sighs heavily. "Your humor will be the death of me one day, what is this, love?" He grumbles, brushing a strand of dark hair out of his eyes as you sit beside him, snuggling into his side as you start explaining the meme - in the end only earning a soft chuckle from the older guy, a simple show of endearment.

[Leon with the kitten he said he didn't want - RE4 Leon | He loves cats, you can't tell me otherwise]

He stares down at the small creature, watching as it desperately tries to climb up his leg, meowing in desperation. Leon didn't want a pet, at all. Especially not a cat that wouldn't be able to defend you or the home - he sighs as he thinks of all the puppies at the shelter that would've done a great job at that. He picks the small animal up, placing it in his lap, where it promptly flops down and starts purring. His heart isn't melting. Not one bit.

Only a few days later you practically have to pry the cat from Leon if you wanted to even have a second with it. It was crazy, at first Leon had said it would never get into the bedroom or bathroom, now it was allowed to snuggle up to him in bed and even follow him whereever he went. You thought that maybe, just maybe, he loved the cat a little more than he loved you. At least when you found him during his midday nap, and with the kitten on top his chest.

[fayes-fics]

Innuendo Bingo

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Crack fic. Modern AU. Someone knows a LOT of stupid synonyms for orgasms...

Warnings: Teen and up. Sexual humour, a lot of stupidity. Non-explicit references to sex acts. Basically, I'm sorry.

Word Count: 0.8k

Authors note: Request fill for @sorryallonsy, who asked for Benedict crack fic with him coming up with stupid names for orgasms (ask HERE). I'm sorry this took SO LONG, especially as it is so short. However, I was in the mood to polish off (heheheh) something silly today, and this was just the ticket. Unbetaed cos it's ridiculous. Thanks, and err, enjoy, I guess? <3

Bridgerton family brunch happens once a month and is always memorable. The family usually takes over some swish eatery in central London for a few hours with their unique brand of noisy, chaotic camaraderie. Being Benedict's girlfriend, you are now a part of this melee. It’s one such Sunday when you are finishing your quite delicious but oversized meal that Benedict leans in.

“I can't wait to have you naked again,” he rumbles right in your ear.

You almost spit your last mouthful all over the table. After a few beats, you recover enough to reply.

“Your mother is right there!” you chastise sotto voce, nodding imperceptibly across the table, pulling a pointed expression, even as your mind is filled with images of him waking you up just this morning with his tongue between your thighs.

“Please,” he withers good-naturedly. “I have seven siblings. Do you really think this libido isn't genetic?” he jests, a hand on your knee now. 

“Stop it!” you giggle, not wanting to think of his mother that way.

 “Also, she is not paying us any mind,” he points out, crowding closer. 

Indeed, she is engrossed in a chat with Kate and has one of Daphne’s kids ensconced in her lap, diverting all her attention.

“Besides, are you telling me you don't want to have another orgasm today?” he goads, lips warm on your neck as those fingers spider higher up your thigh, knowing precisely what your weak spots are and exploiting them.

“Well, now… I didn’t say that…” you counter, eyes fluttering closed briefly at his onslaught. “But I might need a few hours after all this food,” you mime a bloated stomach.

It's his turn to chuckle, a warm sound that skitters over your skin. “That's fair,” he assesses. “Can't be releasing the Kraken if you have a food baby…”

You can't help but emit a bark of laughter at that. Everyone at the table looking briefly askance at you before resuming their discussions.

“The what?” you wheeze.

“You heard me,” he quips warmly. “Don't like that? I've got a million more,” he vows, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Don't…” you warn softly, but that just seems to goad him on.

“Making waffles? Popping the weasel…?”

“Waffles?” you frown, “I thought it was whoopee?”

“That too,” he smiles, eyes crinkling in that adorable way as he continues. “Petting the cat? Nulling the void? You can cuff my carrot, and I’ll dial your rotary phone?” each phrase is delivered full of mirth, close to your ear, and you can't help the stupid grin on your face.

“Stop it,” you protest weakly, nudging him gently with your elbow but having to muffle your laughter into his shoulder.

“I’ll stop when you stop finding them funny…” he counters genially. “Marching the penguin? Downstair DJing? Turning on the sprinklers? Debugging the hard drive?”

Each one has you hopelessly sniggering to the point you can't breathe, and little tears form at the corner of your eyes.

“What in God's name are you doing to your girlfriend, Benedict?” Anthony’s voice suddenly rings out from the head of the table. “It looks like she is about to die… hands where I can see them, please!”

Everyone at the table twists to look at you and laughs as both of you instantly raise your hands as if being held hostage; you mortified by the idea everyone thinks you might be up to things in front of them all, even though you know Anthony is joshing. 

But then Benedict murmurs a quiet parting shot out the corner of his mouth. 

“Chastising the family… jewels...”

And yeah, your loud snort is definitely undignified.

—

You are back at his place relaxing on the sofa a few hours later - When Harry Met Sally is playing on the TV - when he wraps an arm around your shoulder.

“Fancy doing a Meg Ryan?” he whispers, his tone laced with levity.

“Bit late for that. We left the restaurant a few hours ago,” you sigh in mock disappointment, a playful smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“I don't mind a private performance,” he breezes, trailing a hand over your neckline and nuzzling your cheek. “I rather like the idea of watching you paddle your pink canoe….”

Yeah, no, you definitely lose it at that one. 

Collapsing into him, your laughter does not even subsidise when he unzips your dress with his practised skill.

“Please… one ticket to the solo show just for me?” he implores, kissing along your jaw. “Visit that safety deposit box? Orbit Venus? A little double-clicking?”

“You are going to need to stop…” you object faintly, an odd mix of lightness from giggling so much and arousal coursing through you as his fingers circle over your underwear.

“Never…..” he teases in that gravelly tone that always persuades you.

“Fine, but only if I can watch you polish your bannister…” you throw back, pushing off your underwear with a comic flourish.

His laugh is deep and all-consuming, racking his whole frame as he suddenly scoops you up and strides towards his bedroom.

“Deal!”

Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa @urfavnoirette

[bring-forth-his-sac]

The Christmas Party - Chapter 5

Summary: Now that you and Negan are on good terms, you have demands from Gregory to deal with and a liquor run that doesn't go as expected...

Tags: Modern AU, Teacher AU, Gossip, Swearing, Pet Names, Slow Burn, Alcohol Mentions, Flings,

Word Count: 7.7k

A/N: y'all I promise the last 2 chapters won't be as long lmao

check out the previous chapter here!

If there's one thing about Negan that irritates people, it's his luck. 

From what he can tell, no one saw the message he sent last night before he quickly deleted it. Sure, he’s caught a few strange looks from the likes of Tara and Aaron, but none of them have said anything.  

To him, that's a good sign. If they saw the message, he figures they'd have made some snarky comment by now just to relish in his discomfort.

Negan had originally planned to stop by and see you before classes started, but a detour on his way to school threw off his timing. And so he had to wait until the first break of the day to make his move. 

Letting his class out a few minutes early, he grabs a small paper bag and makes his way to your classroom. Just to prove he's on his best behavior, Negan waits outside your room, holding himself back from barging in during your lesson. 

And who says an old dog can't learn new tricks?

"Negan?" You glance up from your desk once you’ve dismissed your class. He catches the surprised look you didn’t quite manage to hide as you ask "What are you doing here?".

He grins, holding up the paper bag and giving it a little wiggle. "I got a baggy with your name on it," he teases, clearly enjoying himself "thought I’d walk you to the teacher’s lounge while we spitball some food ideas".

You’ll admit, this is the last thing you expected. Despite the most recent do-over you and Negan have been navigating, you hadn’t pegged him as the type for strolls together or gifts.

Yet here he is, holding out the bag like it's the most natural thing in the world. Hesitantly, you approach, eyeing the gift as if it might be a bear trap in disguise.

Slowly, you reach out and take it, half-expecting something ridiculous inside. Negan just grins, watching you closely but giving you space to discover the surprise for yourself.

Sticking your hand in, you’re met with something soft, yet firm and slightly moist. You pull it out, raising an eyebrow as the familiar shape comes into view. 

"Because you ate my muffin," you recall, nodding at the blueberry muffin in your hand. The memory of that little stolen snack clicks into place and you can’t help the smile on your face.

"Jesus, sweetheart, maybe phrase it a little better," Negan says with a mock gasp, glancing around to make sure no one’s in earshot "and people say I have a filthy mouth”. He shakes his head, putting on an exaggerated look of disbelief.

“Oh stop it,” you nudge him as you take a bite of the muffin, savoring it with a long hum “ mmmm, thanks”.

Negan nods and you both begin to walk down the corridor and towards the teacher’s lounge. You know you should wait until you get there to eat the muffin but what can you say, it’s been a while since someone got you something nice. 

Swallowing your bite, you ask “Has the spirit of Christmas finally possessed you?”.

“Me?” Negan furrows his eyebrows at the accusation “Course not, I’m still being all grinchy”.

You can tell you’re coming up on the cafeteria because of the rapidly growing noise. Trays clatter, students laugh or yell at one another and the smell is surprisingly appealing. Although you’ve never had the cafeteria food here, it doesn’t look like the slop you’d see in movies or as if the food’s been sitting there for months. 

“I don’t know,” you reply to Negan, having to raise your voice so he’ll hear you over the noise “you seem pretty jolly today for a grinch”.

Negan leans back and rolls his eyes dramatically “Doll, if you keep making these baseless accusations, I’ll make sure the only food at the staff party are muffins”.

You shrug, not minding that threat “Don’t threaten me with a good time”. 

Negan smirks, about to turn that into some sort of innuendo when he sees him down the corridor. A grunt leaves Negan, his eyes looking past you and to the rat that got promoted to human. A somehow nervous disposition despite being drunk with power. Beady eyes. Thinning hair. Perpetual frown.

Gregory.

Before Negan can drag you both to the nearest supply closet—to avoid Gregory, no other reason why he’d like you so close and pressed against him— you’re both spotted.

“Ah! Just the two I was looking for,” Gregory catches your attention and you turn to see the dementor that drained the color from Negan’s face “well, one of you at least”.

He wags his finger, pointing from you to Negan “Michonne told me at least one of you is still doing the staff party, correct?”.

“Uh, we both are,” your best fake smile comes out. As much as you don’t want to be polite, Gregory’s higher management. 

Negan, surprisingly wise enough to know when to keep quiet, falls back slightly, positioning himself a step behind you. You push aside the unsettling thought that you might be his sacrifice to your superior.

“That’s wonderful and did I just hear food?” Gregory asks, stroking his chin as he tries to look more authoritative “what’s on the menu for the party?”.

“Well, uh— we were thinking some casual finger food like muffins and maybe pretzels or chips… and… um,” you scramble trying to think of easy to get foods that are also festive “…mixed nuts?”.

The look of Gregory’s face says it all. Horror. 

“Mixed nuts and pretzels? Chips? I mean,” he scoffs, throwing his hands up helplessly “this isn’t feeding time at the petting zoo! It’s all so… pedestrian”.

“We could do hot food too!” You blurt, your gut already twisting at Gregory’s criticisms. 

“And have you two prepare it?” He asks it as if the question is obviously rhetorical. 

Tilting his head to the side as he looks to Negan, Gregory asks “And Negan, when was the last time you washed your hands?”.

Dammit, you don’t need an all out war between the only other person helping you plan this party and your higher up. 

More trays clatter in the mess hall. Cutlery clangs together. Workers shout at students to stop playing around and keep the line moving in an orderly fashion.

“We can ask the cafeteria staff!” you suggest, eager to wrap up this conversation quickly.

Negan nudges your back, but your focus is on the skeptical look Gregory is giving you. “And we can make sure they know they’re not paid overtime for this,” you add with a resigned sigh.

Finally, a smile forms on Gregory’s face.

You get another poke in the back.

“Great! I know you would work something out!” He clasps his hands together “good luck with that, can’t wait for the party!”. With a satisfied nod, Gregory turns and walks off.

You take another bite of muffin to console yourself.  

You get another poke although this time it’s more of a jab to your side. “Mmh!” You argue, mouth full of muffin. 

“Oh now you feel the pokes! Really?!” For good measure, Negan pokes you again, aiming for the ribs this time.

“Stop! What do you want?” you grumble, still chewing.

“I can’t ask the cafeteria staff to make the fuckin’ party food!” Negan lowers his voice, as if there’s a chance the workers could hear him from the other bustling room.

“Why not? They’re so nice,” you shrug ”besides, they’ll understand if we mention Gregory’s shit. And the head cook, Sherry, was super sweet to me when I first joined the group chat”.

Negan just stares, a rare look of panic in his eyes “Why do you think, I can’t ask Sherry to make us food for our fuckin’ party”.

… oh.

“Is there any woman on staff you haven’t slept with?” you ask out of sheer frustration and just a sprinkle of sarcasm.

“Shockingly yes, I mean Tara’s a lesbian, Sasha and Rosita won’t touch me with a barge pole–“ you slap his arm before he can continue.

“Well, consider next lunch your time to grovel to Sherry,” you reply “I’m not asking by myself when we’re both planning the party and you’ve already screwed her over”.

“Not screwed her over, just screwed her” Negan corrects you.

He gets another slap to the arm for that one. “Can you not?” you mutter, shaking your head.

Carl and Enid stop in their tracks when they witness the slap, ducking behind the cafeteria door but still sneaking glances.  

“Does that mean they’ve broken up already?” she whispers to Carl.

“Next lunch. You and me. Cafeteria. Sherry,” you say, this time deliberately adopting your teacher voice.

Negan rolls his eyes but finally relents. The school bell rings, and a wave of noise erupts as students scramble to leave their cafeteria tables. 

“Fine,” he grumbles, mimicking your teacher voice as he looks down at the half eaten muffin “but you better eat that muffin before I eat it— again! ”.

With that, he turns and marches off back to the sports hall. Carl and Enid look at each other in shock. “Eat her muffin? Again? What?” Enid tries not to gag at the thoughts of two teachers going at it.

“Does that mean what I think it means?“ Carl shakes his head, trying to clear the thoughts away “Ok, maybe they are actually together”.

You huff, watching Negan retreat before doing the same. Stuffing the rest of the muffin into your mouth, you go back down to your classroom and prepare for what’s to come.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

It’s been five minutes since the bell for lunch rang through the school. You stand at the spot you last saw him, waiting in the corridor outside the cafeteria.  

Checking the time on your phone, you just decide to give Negan another two minutes to show up when he rounds the corner and approaches with a dramatic pout.  

You flash him a broad smile “Thought you’d be a no-show”.

“Yeah, well, I’ve already abandoned ya once,” Negan mutters, edging toward the cafeteria doors and peering in at the chaos of kids “but fuck, if there is a God, I wouldn’t mind getting struck down right about now.”

You tap his foot with your own. “You’re gonna have to talk to her at some point,” you say “what else do you expect when you work in the same building?”.

Negan shrugs, looking unbothered. 

“Well, I’ve managed to avoid Amber… Tanya… Frankie…” he trails off “Hell, I even manage to avoid this one real freaky chick at the parent-teacher meetings”.

“At the—” Your jaw drops, struggling to decide whether to ask about the ‘freaky’ part or the fact that he’s even banged a parent “You— I… I have no words”. 

Grabbing his hand, you practically drag Negan into the cafeteria. Skipping the line of kids, you pull him to the side by the serving line. Sherry doesn’t notice either of you, too focused on taking out trays of chicken nuggets and replenishing the stack of juice boxes.

Across the sea of students, Enid tugs at Carl’s arm “Oh my god are they holding hands! In public!”.

Ron shrugs smugly, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Told you they’re together. I’ve got a knack for knowing when people are gonna hook up,” he says, glancing between Enid and Carl “well, most of the time”.

They subtly try to watch you both at the other side of the room, some of them letting out disappointed huffs when you drop his hand.

Negan lets out a long sigh, swaying slightly on his feet. The longer Sherry doesn’t notice you both, the further back he leans, as if trying to create some kind of invisible distance without actually moving.  

“I’m going to have to turn on the charm, aren’t I?” he mutters to himself, taking a deep breath before leaning casually on the counter.

“Or you could just be normal?” You propose but it’s too late. He’s already turned on the Negan swagger that somehow gets him women.

“Sherry,” he calls out “hey there, sweet thing”.

Sherry, in the middle of doing her job, shoots a steely glare in your direction. You don’t take it personally.

After a quick internal debate, she approaches. You stay quiet, taking Negan’s approach during your earlier encounter with Gregory. Anyways, it’s about time you see that oh so charming, smooth talking side of him.

“Long time, no see!” Negan flashes her a grin when Sherry hurries over “So, what do you say we get that culinary magic of yours flowing for the party on Friday?”. 

Maybe you’re too presumptuous but for some reason, you assumed smooth talking involved some actual smooth talking. Still, you stay silent, hoping Negan’s straight to the point method works.

Putting on a pitiful expression, Negan continues, not giving Sherry the time to even respond “And hey, I know I was a little… absent… after y’know, but I’m here now and would really appreciate the favor. Oh! And how’s about some food for thought, huh?”. 

Negan chuckles as he points at a chicken tender he wants to steal.  

Sherry studies him with a mixture of shock and confusion. “You- you come to me now? Asking for favors?” she guffaws “After everything?”.

She pauses, eyeing him warily before adding “You think just because you show up and act like nothing happened, I’m gonna jump to help you? You don’t get to just play the ‘favor’ card after all that’s happened”.

You gulp, feeling like you’ve walked straight into a soap opera. Negan gives a mock serious expression

“Alright, I get it. I ghosted you. Bad move. Real bad,” he haphazardly admits “But how ‘bout we call this a redemption arc? You do us a solid and I’ll do you a solid and stay out of your way, at the party and for the rest of our lives!”.

Sherry rolls her eyes, defensively crossing her arms “You stay out of my way anyway, asshole”.

Piping up, you try the sweet approach “Sherry, I get it, Negan’s a major asshole and hard to work with but you’ll be doing us all a massive favor here, not just him”.

She doesn’t look convinced, her hardened gaze never leaving Negan. 

“And it’s not like we’re expecting you to work during the actual party,” you try to ease the tension “we can heat it up on the night, if you could just… maybe make some extra mashed potatoes and chilli on Friday?”.

Tearing her eyes off of Negan, Sherry gives you a sympathetic look when she realizes you’re the new English teacher. 

“A word of warning, stay away from this jerk and do not trust him” she doesn’t even hide how she points at Negan, making him glance around the packed busy and mutter a quick “Jesus Christ”.

You nod, trying to show her a genuine connection and Sherry sighs. “I suppose I could do it,” she starts “but I want something out of this too”.

“I swear to fuck if you want to pimp me o—“ Sherry puts up her hand, silencing Negan before he can finish that sentence.

With her steely look fading, Sherry smirks. She nods towards Negan “I want to know what message you deleted in the group chat last night and I want an I-owe-you that I can cash in whenever wherever”.

Negan groans, his neck going slack as he looks up at the ceiling “Give me fucking patience…”.

You nod “That could be done. Negan?”.

He huffs, trying to buy time. “I just made a grammar error, that was all” he lies, and not convincingly.

“Bullshit” Sherry immediately calls his bluff.

“Well then fuck off, I’m not telling you!” He gets defensive, the words meaning nothing to him but everything to the already pissed off fling. 

“Ok, ok, he didn’t mean that,” you try to calm the situation, putting your hand on Negan’s chest to make him back away from the counter. The last thing you wanted was for Sherry to decide to throw a tater tot at him. 

“Can you give us a minute? Just one sec,” you give Sherry a quick smile as you lead Negan away and to a free table. You sit him down, his lanky legs making him look like a giant in a toddlers chair. 

Despite being in a room full of students, he doesn’t feel the need to put up a professional, mature mantle and instead, Negan sulks.

You sit across from him. “Negan,” you coax “can’t you just give her the actual answer? Or you don’t even have to mention the green fursuit thing! Just make up something embarrassing and she’ll believe it”.

Negan shakes his head, looking down at the table. “Nah, she’ll fuckin’ know. She wants something real embarrassing,” he grumbles “some humiliation ritual shit”.

He runs a hand down his face. “This sucks” he says plainly. 

 You give a solemn look before shrugging “But think of all the pizza and sloppy Joe’s we can have at the party”.

That makes him smile, a humorous look on his face as he agrees “All of this for some fuckin’ sloppy joes… alright, you stay here, I know why to say”.

You watch a dejected Negan go back up to the counter and wait for Sherry’s attention. She gives him a look you can’t read, saying things you can’t hear with the noise of the cafeteria.

Negan has his back facing you and with some dismissive hand gestures, you watch Sherry nod, somehow buying whatever shit he’s selling. 

She replies to him, a few more words get exchanged before Sherry holds out her hand and they shake. 

Success!

Glancing back at you, Negan gestures for you to follow him back out of the cafeteria. You don’t blame him for wanting to leave so fast, knowing he’ll see this as a win for Sherry. 

“You ok?” you keep your voice soft when you catch up with him in the corridor.

“Yeah it’s whatever,” he dismisses “She said she’ll do the catering so it has all worked out”.

”Great, now we’re serving up cafeteria food,” you’re unsure if this is a win or not “I’m sure that’s what Gregory had in mind”.

“Gregory can choke on a hotdog for all I care,” Negan mutters, clearly not happy “he wanted hot food and he got it, so he better show some fucking appreciation for once”.  

He’s still sulking, his mind elsewhere and presumably still with Sherry in one sense or another.

“If you want, I’ll take care of the liquor” you offer, knowing Negan’s done a lot for the day.

He smirks, though it doesn’t reach his eyes “Nah, that’s the fun part. You free after school?”.

“I am not letting you abandon me somewhere again!” You warn.

He rolls his eyes as playfully as he can, despite the lull in his mood. “Alright how’s about we drive separately? Is that enough to coax you out?”.

You pretend to think about it, humming as you tilt your head from side to side. “I guess so,” you agree just as the lunch bell rings out again. Darn. “Text me a place to meet?” You suggest.

“Texting during class?” Negan raises his eyebrows with faux surprise “Naughty!”.

And with that you reluctantly part ways, even if only for the remainder of the school day.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Maybe Negan is a bad influence. Much to your dismay, you did spend an excessive amount of your classes texting with him, trying to be as subtle as possible as you would pull out your phone and quickly arrange a time to meet after school. 

In the end, you agreed to meet up in the middle of town, knowing you’d have a few smaller grocery stores and the liquor store to choose your alcohol from. 

Negan mentioned that he’ll probably get there a half hour after school ends, knowing some of the sporty kids would pester him for some advice on how to keep training during the holidays. 

You were fine with that. If anything, you hoped that would be enough time for you to get there and buy all that you’ll need for the party. Then when Negan eventually showed, you could both relax and just go for a coffee.

Not that you’d willingly go for a coffee with Negan.

Ok, yes, you would but not like that . 

You’ve finally gotten to the point of being friends with Negan and that’s good enough for you. In fact, it’s better than you ever expected!

Despite the way he looks at you, the smirk that’s never far from his lips, the warmth in those big hazel eyes… you’re just friends! Swear! You remind yourself over and over again that the teasing and the constant flirting is just Negan being Negan. 

Nothing more.

Yeah, he’d probably go for a round or two if you made your interest known but then you’d be like Sherry: cast aside and avoided.

He’s the kind of guy who flirts to pass the time, who needs to make people laugh to feel alive. You know better than to read into it, even if part of you wonders what it would be like if things were different. But, it doesn’t matter.  

You’re friends. That’s all you are, and that’s enough… right? Just friends. You repeat it like a mantra, trying to convince yourself to believe it as you park your car along the main street.

Your hometown never put that much effort into decorating for the holidays. They might have a few lights strung up and a decades old plastic tree that they take out every year but it’s nothing compared to this.  

The town centre is alive with holiday spirit, transformed into a winter wonderland that glows with festive charm. Bright, twinkling lights drape across every building, casting a golden hue over the street. It feels like you’ve stepped straight into a Hallmark movie. 

Skaters glide and twirl gracefully, their laughter blending with the soft hum of holiday music playing from hidden speakers. Stalls line the square, offering everything from hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts to hand-crafted ornaments and scarves. 

Bundling up in your Winter coat, you decide you may as well go for a walk around while waiting for Negan, not knowing when he’ll turn up.  

You can’t help but smile as you watch skaters spin and laugh, their cheeks a rosy red from the cold. Families huddle together, sipping hot drinks while couples share quiet moments beneath the twinkling lights.

Everything about this place feels perfect, too perfect. The decorations are just right, the air crisp and clean, and the joy in the crowd is infectious. 

You almost feel out of place, like you’re the only one who doesn’t quite belong in this picturesque scene. Everyone else has someone, whether that be a partner, a parent with them or a kid of their own. You’re just with… you .

You don’t know how much time you take just walking around. Before you even enter a shop, Negan texts you. You’re leaning against the barrier to the ice skating rink when your phone ping.

Negan: you gonna get in?

You pause and look up, turning on your heels until… there he is, tucking his phone away again. Donned in a beanie and big coat, Negan looks like he’s going incognito.

“You a skater?” he asks, walking up to join you.

With a soft shake of your head, you go back to leaning against the barrier. “Nah, I think I tried it once or twice when I was a kid,” you reply “but I was always too scared I’d fall”.

Negan scoffs, mimicking your actions as he watches kids, couples and even the elderly glide across the ice effortlessly.

After a beat of silence, he asks “You want to give it a try?”.

“And have you laugh at me when I fall?” you question “I don’t think so”.

He chuckles as if you just caught on to his joke “I wouldn’t let you fall, promise”.

“As if I believe that,” you snort, taking a step back from the barrier. 

Negan scoffs before cooing “I said I’d promise! You wouldn’t fall once, I’d rather get frostbite on my ass than let the princess slip”. 

You huff in an act of annoyance, walking along the street and towards the liquor store. It surprisingly blends into the glow of the area, the neon open sign not looking out of the normal with the festive lighting that surrounds it. 

Your trip to the liquor store goes exactly how you expect. The door chimes as you both step inside and Negan confidently leads you straight over to the hard stuff. Whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, tequila. He loads bottles of it into your arms, humming to himself as he debates another bottle of tequila. 

“Shouldn’t we get something that isn’t so strong?” you suggest, balancing the bottles as you cradle them. 

Negan glances over the selection, taking his time to inspect the different wines. “Hm, yeah this ain’t exactly my specialty,” he admits, picking up a random bottle “usually I use the stuff for cooking and that’s it”.

Raising an eyebrow, you question “You cook with wine?”.

“Yeah,” he shrugs “for marinating, braising, sauces… stupid shit like that”.

“Stupid shit?!” You let out a shocked laugh “That’s not stupid, I had no idea I was dealing with a proper chef”.

Negan rolls his eyes, picking up a variety of red and white wines “Darlin’, I doubt that’s proper chef shit”.

Happy with his choices, Negan leads you to the register and you toddle after him, too busy making sure you don’t drop a bottle or bump into a shelf to protest with his choices.

“There we go,” Negan takes the bottles from you, loading them up for the cashier to scan “that should be enough to get everybody wasted”.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You joke “I don’t think anyone wants to deal with a drunk Gregory for the night”.

Negan chuckles at the idea. “Yeah, well hopefully a few others will get drunk enough to give him a piece of their minds” he throws a few bills on the counter. The cashier begins counting, keeping quiet.

You give him a skeptical look. “You’re paying?” you ask just to confirm. 

Negan nods smugly “I ran into Michonne when I was leaving today, she said as long as we keep the receipts, we’ll get reimbursed in the New Year”.

Picking up on his queue, the cashier hands him the receipt and you both leave, bottles clinking as you balance your heap of liquor.

“We can load them into the back of my car,” you offer, avoiding the judging looks of ongoers as they watch the two of your carry enough alcohol to poison an elephant “and if you want, I’ll pick up some mixers tomorrow. I’ll have to go out and get some more things for Christmas anyways”.

“Works for me,” he agrees, letting out a small giggle when you struggle to hold so much while simultaneously trying to open your car door. Managing to open the back door, you gently place the bottles on the seat before letting Negan do the same. 

You glance over at the ice skating rink one last time, watching the graceful glides and the occasional wobbly stumble.

”Did you mean it?” the words leave your mouth before you even think it through, something that happens more than you’d like to admit.

“Huh?” Negan looks back to you once he closes the car door. Following your gaze, his eyes land on the rink.

“When you said you wouldn’t let me fall on the ice”.

Negan’s face grows more curious, his lips slightly puckered as his tongue moves around his mouth. Studying you for a moment, he slowly nods.

“Good,” you’re convinced and begin tugging him over, locking your car with a click of your key.

Negan laughs, letting you drag him. He doesn’t believe this, half waiting for you to drag him into one of the smaller shops and not to what he thinks you’re doing.

It happens in a flash, and that’s pretty fuckin’ fast for someone like Negan. In an instant, he’s telling you his shoe size and you’re renting out skates. Hell, he doesn’t even have the time to beat you to it and pay himself, or have the time to make an innuendo about his large shoe size!

You giggle to yourself, not quite sure where this impromptu boost of confidence has come from.

This is not your type of thing, both ice skating and last minute plans but here you are, shoving your feet into ice skates. 

The sharp blades of the ice skate make you gulp and about a thousand different ways this could go wrong pop into your head. But strangely enough, the man that was once the bane of your life manages to pull your mind away from the lingering bad thoughts. 

Negan smiles to himself as he stands and clanks along the ground, his tall stature balancing on just the thin blades of the ice skate. He struts around, looking like something straight out of a cartoon show before you both venture on to the rink.

You and Negan glide cautiously onto the ice, the cold air biting at your skin. “You make sure I don't fall on my ass, sweetheart, and I’ll make sure you stay standing too” he teases, his voice carrying a mischievous edge, but there’s something softer beneath it, something you don’t often hear.

You laugh, the sound bubbling up before you can stop it “Hey! That wasn’t the promise!”.

He grins, that signature smirk of his spreading across his face but there’s an almost shy glint in his eyes, the kind you’d never expect from a man as boisterous as him.

You try to steady yourself, the ice slick and unfamiliar beneath your feet. He’s not far behind you, his gaze fixed on you and trying to follow your movements. You feel the weight of his stare but it’s not as intimidating ( or annoying ) as you thought. It feels almost… protective? 

You glance over your shoulder and catch his eyes, which surprisingly aren’t ogling at your ass. His hands hover slightly in the air, like he’s ready to reach for you if you trip. For a second, you almost want to fall just so he’ll catch you.

“Good to know you don’t keep promises” you tease, your voice light despite the racing of your heart.

He laughs, a low chuckle that makes your stomach flutter and you’re suddenly very aware of the space between you. The icy air whips around you both, making everything feel sharper and more alive. 

“I’ll keep it,” he assures with a wink, but his gaze lingers just a little longer than it should “Promise I won’t let your ass hit the ice, scout’s honor”. He loosely gestures as if to cross his heart, keeping his arms out to balance himself.

You take a breath and push yourself forward. The world spins in a dizzying blur as you try to navigate the gliding motion. A rush of adrenaline surges up your legs, wobbling slightly as you sail across the ice. 

It feels like you’re going fast, as if you’re about to feel the wind blow through your hair due to the sheer speed you’re picking up. But then you look around and realise many skaters are overtaking you effortlessly.

Trying to propel yourself forward again, you go to push your foot off the ice when it happens. You falter, a slight sway quickly turning into a wobble and then—

Negan’s there, hands steadying you. Strong, confident but not without a touch of tenderness. His grip doesn’t last long, lingering long enough for you to regain your composure. Yet it’s enough to make your pulse quicken, enough to make you wonder what might happen if the distance between you was just a little smaller.

You meet his eyes again, a look of surprise on your face. 

“I can keep a promise” he simply shrugs as if that was nothing. Yet there’s no smugness or mocking tone that you normally associate with Negan. His playfulness is still there. With Negan, you don’t think that’s something that can ever go away, but it’s layered with something deeper.

Negan’s not watching your every move anymore. He’s watching you — clinging onto the way you make him feel like the world isn’t such a shitshow, not when you’re both here, side by side.

For once, this isn’t about trying to put another notch on his bedpost or figure out a way to have a quickie with you in his truck. Hell, he’s not even concerned with annoying you anymore.

You smile to yourself and take another step forward, hesitantly sliding your hand into his. Not romantically , of course… you’re just scared you might lose your balance.

That’s all. 

Negan pushes off of the ice cautiously, not going too fast as you try to copy his movements. Within a few minutes, you both find your rhythm and manage to do a lap of the rink, going slower than most but doing it nonetheless. The hardest part is turning, both of you acting as if you’re trying to steer a cruise liner as you try to get your feet to work and turn without a hitch.

“See, this ain’t so bad,” he quips, swaying slighting but staying on his feet.

“Suuuuure,” you laugh, watching as Negan looks down and concentrates on his footing. His eyebrows scrunch together, tongue poking out from determination as he straightens himself up again. 

Your eyes linger on his face, wondering if he always pulls that face when he concentrates.

“I’m surprised you’re not all talk” you comment, feeling his hand give yours a reassuring squeeze.

“Oh my fucking shit, is that your attempt of a compliment?” He laughs, flashing you a wide grin that almost borders on being cheesy. 

“WATCH OUT!!”.

Negan grip on your hand immediately tenses, getting ready to drag you away from danger but it’s not you who’s at risk. Seemingly out of nowhere, a man skates through the crowd, arms flailing as he tries to turn… or brake… or maybe both? It’s hard to tell but the look of panic across his face tells you something is wrong.

Negan veers to the side, just enough for the man to skate by and clip his shoulder against Negan’s. That touch is all it takes for Negan to lose balance, letting out a string of curses as he wobbles, tilting back and forth before finally hitting the ice. 

“Shit!” He grunts, awkwardly falling in his ass and accidentally yanking you down with him (thanks to your completely platonic and no underlying feelings hand holding).

The second he goes down, there’s no way you can pull back or try to root your feet into the ice to save yourself. With a squeak, you go down with him, landing with a loud ‘umph!’. 

Negan gets the brunt of the fall and then the brunt of you falling on to him, your head landing on his chest, which is surprisingly comfortable for you.

He lets out a long groan “You alright?”.

“Uh huh,” you feel stiff as you get up, kneeling on the ice as you remove yourself from Negan “and you?”.

“I’ll be fine,” he slowly gets up with a series of grunts “main thing is that ass of yours didn’t touch the ice, did it?”.

In spite of the situation, you laugh “Considering I landed on you, no, it didn’t”.

With the both of you hobbling to the rinks barrier like two 90 year olds, a wry grin tugs at his lips “That enough torture for you for one day?”.

He takes a deep breath, trying to mask the wince but the fall really did a number on him. You’re pretty sure he didn’t expect ice skating to be quite so brutal. The way he hit the ground, you’re surprised he didn’t crack his head open. 

“Come on, tough guy,” you tease lightly, your hand on his back as you guide him out of the rink and toward a nearby bench “let’s get you off your feet before I gotta drive you to the hospital”.

He shoots you a playful glare, but there’s no fire in it, just exhaustion. You help him settle carefully, and for a moment, you stand back and just watch him, checking for any serious injuries. 

“I ain’t broken,” Negan scoffs, trying to be serious despite the soft smile on his face “don’t worry about me”.

With a sigh, you gesture to his skates. “Take ‘em off and I’ll go return them,” you say “I think it’s best if you stay off your feed for a little while”.

As much as Negan wants to protest or do it himself, he complies, knowing his body needs to rest.

Once you’ve taken care of the skates, you wander over to one of the small stalls set up for the festive season, eyes scanning the counter until you spot some hot chocolate. 

Perfect.

When you return to the bench, Negan’s still sitting there, leaning back and looking at the sky with a half-smile. You hand him one him a takeaway cup, the warmth of the cup being an immediate relief in his hands.

“Here,” you say, settling down beside him “something to ease the pain.”

He takes the drink, eyeing you with a sarcastic smirk “You trying to butter me up so I don’t make fun of you for your ice skating skills?”.

You shake your head “Nah, just making sure you don’t turn into a grumpy old man”.

Negan raises his cup in mock cheers. “To not being a grumpy old man,” he says, then takes a sip and pauses “Hot Chocolate? Fuck, I thought you were after getting me a coffee”.

You laugh at that, taking a sip from your own before shrugging “Coffee isn’t a Christmas drink, it had to be some hot chocolate!”.

He rolls his eyes, taking another sip “You didn’t have to get me anything, y’know”.

“I know,” you reply, watching people whizz around the rink at speeds you’d be terrified to ice skate at “I wanted to, though”.

You let a silence stretch between you, giving him time to sip and adjust to the warmth. He’s still got that wall of snark up, but it’s more of a defense than a challenge.  

After a few moments, Negan clears his throat, setting the cup down between his hands and leaning back a bit more, his eyes drifting toward the rink. The sound of other skaters is distant now, a low hum in the background. His usual bravado seems thinner tonight, a more relaxed and innocent fun side of Negan coming out.

“I gotta say, this is a nice change,” he looks over at you, his smirk still there but lacking its usual sharpness “I never really do dates like this anymore, just the freaky deaky part”.

Maybe you said innocent fun too soon.

You scrunch up your face at the ‘freaky deaky’ before correcting “Dates like this? Negan, this isn’t a date”.

“Course it is” the thing with Negan is that he’s always been quick with the jokes but tonight, there’s a rare sense of truthfulness, as if he believes what he’s saying. 

You huff out a laugh, having another sip of your drink “No, it isn’t”.

Raising a hand, Negan starts to list out “Done something fun together, we’ve done a whole lotta touching— something you initiated most of, you took me ice skating and now we’re drinking hot fuckin’ cocoa together”.

You scoff, unsure how to come back from a list like that. Negan keeps going, “Oh and to make it better, since you’ve instigated most of this, you’ve taken me out on a date! Who would’ve thought?”.

“Not a date,” you keep to your alibi. He nods, taking in your response. 

“I guess that’s a good point, it ain’t a date until you seal the deal later” he sends a wink your way.

That earns him a playful shove “Ew, Negan! No!”. He laughs, catching your smile as he gives you one of his own. 

“I ain’t asking you to get down on your knees, doll, I’m just saying most dates end in a kiss at least” he knew that would get you reeling. And it does, making you do a fake gag as you laugh out of pure shock. 

You shake your head, keeping your tone light “You’re unbelievable!”.

“Guess you’re not wrong,” he admits, the walls slowly starting to lower “but you can’t blame a guy for trying”.

Negan is used to fighting it but tonight, just for a little while, he’s letting down his guard. And for once, it feels like maybe you’ve both found something real.

There’s an easy atmosphere between you, the kind that comes when two people are just content to be in each other’s company. Every now and then, Negan shoots you a sidelong glance, making little comments for you to laugh at or nudge his shoulder in response.  

The banter flows freely; light teasing, a few shared stories, and just enough sarcasm to keep it interesting. Although, it’s the kind of conversation where the words aren’t as important as the feeling of ease between you. 

For once, the world feels distant, the noise of it all fading away in the warmth of the moment. It’s nice. And you realize, despite everything you’ve both been through, this is something you’d been craving.  

Simple, peaceful, and without any pressure. Just two people, sipping hot chocolate, and sharing the kind of quiet conversation that feels like it could go on forever.

When your cups are drained and neither of you can find another excuse to stay, you begrudgingly get up and let Negan walk you over to your car. 

“So, what did you tell Sherry today? Any idea what kinda I-owe-you she wants?” you interrogate, looking up just in time to see him wince at the questions “I doubt you told her the truth”.

Negan hums, letting his sarcasm flow freely  “Yeah, only you know about my grinch fur suit and as for the favor shit, I really have no idea”.

“So if you didn’t mention the fur suit, what did you say?” you press, waiting as patiently as you can.

He sighs and you can see he’s debating whether or not to tell you. Keeping your gaze on him, Negan watches the Christmas lights. “I told her a half-truth,” he reveals slowly “told her I meant to send it to someone else, not to the group chat”.

His gaze flickers to you for a moment, slyly trying to gauge your interest.

“And?”.

Negan tries not to make a big deal of it “And I told her it wasn’t a text, hence the delete… I said it was a picture”.

You gasp “A dick pic!”.

He nods, although you don’t understand why he’d be so hesitant about telling you his lie, especially if his dick is involved. Most of the time, the man doesn’t even need an excuse to talk about all things ‘freaky deaky’ .

“What’s the catch?” You ask when you get to your car, digging the keys out of your bag. Negan bounces on his heels, looking anywhere but you. 

“No catch,” he shows you his awful poker face, yet again. You wait it out, knowing Negan won’t be able to keep his mouth shut for long.

…

…

…

“I told her it was meant for you,” he blabs. Wow, three seconds, you wonder if that’s a new personal record for him. You also wonder if this revelation means you can punch him in the face.

“What??!” You practically bark out the word, jaw slack and eyes wide open “Negan, there’s no way!”.

“I thought that seemed the most plausible!” He poorly defends “besides, we’re together a lot so it kinda made sense for me to be sending it to you”.

“Negan,” you groan, much to his satisfaction. 

He leans against your car as you get in, leaving the door open so you can hear his piss poor excuses. 

“If anything, think of it as a favor,” he can’t even hide his smirk and try to seem sincere “now you won’t have that janitor or Alden, Eugene, fuck or even Gregory trying to get in your pants”.

You roll your eyes and bite back “Yeah, cause that was such a big issue before”.

Negan grabs the door for you, ready to shut it before he adds “I don’t think you realize how many pants tightened when you waltzed into the school, doll”.

He misses your disgusted shudder and declaration of “ew” as he shuts the car door for you and takes a couple of steps back.  

Starting up your car, you try to convince yourself Negan is bullshiting. For some reason, thinking that you turn on Gregory is disturbing— who would’ve guessed that??

“You want a goodnight text later?” Negan calls out with a wink, not needing to gesture to his crotch for you to get what he means. 

You don’t bother rolling down the window to reply, letting your actions speak louder than words. Well, to be more specific you let your middle finger do the talking. 

Negan lets out a loud laugh, giving you a wave as you drive off. Despite the gesture, you still get that goodnight text later in the evening. But thankfully, it wasn’t a picture and instead it read…

Negan: Night sweetheart, thanks for the date tonight ;) I’ll have to take you out next time