#i can't get over how pretty she looks in every screenshot

[molar-bear-sims]

day two on the job: back with the gang

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter One

Summary:

Your colleague Dr. Ancunin is a smug condescending bastard and you can't stand him. But you also can't get him out of your head.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: E Word Count: 5.2k Tags/Warnings: unprotected p in v sex, creampie, no breeding kink, masturbation, vaginal fingering, vampire bites, modern au, college/university au, urban fantasy, enemies to lovers, like the briefest mention of suicide while talking about Hamlet

This would not exist without @zipzoomzaria's gorgeous glasses screenshots because PROFESSOR, PLS. Go follow her bc her edits are out of this world. The masturbation scene is also heavily inspired by @astarionfreak's "Are You Satisfied, Darling?" If you haven't read it what are you doing???

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

There’s something about him that rubs you the wrong way. It could be his arrogance, or the condescending way he peers over his glasses at you and your other colleagues. It might be the overpriced cashmere turtlenecks that hug his figure perfectly or the stupid silver earrings adorning his stupid elf ears. But every time he opens his pretty little mouth you feel a snarl growing deep in your throat.

This is the first university you’ve worked at where the theatre and English departments shared an office. Theatre and music, sure, even theatre and dance. But theatre and English? It feels insulting, honestly. English PhDs are some of the snobbiest people you’ve ever met, and they always speak to you like a child. Is it because they’re unimpressed by your MFA, like it made you less deserving of your position? Who knows. But Astarion Ancunin is no different.

“Grace, would you mind making twelve copies of pages 219-254 when you get a chance?” You hand the administrative assistant the heavy book. “You can leave them in my mailbox, I’ll pick them up later.” Grace opens the book to the instructed page.

“Oh, Much Ado About Nothing! I love that one!” she squeals with delight. “That Beatrice and Benedick,” she sighs, stroking the Complete Works lovingly. You smile at her cordially.

“They’re great, they’re basically the non-problematic version of Kate and Petruchio,” you respond in agreement.

“How tragic that Taming’s writing is better.”

You whirl around to see Ancunin walking in looking at something on his phone. He doesn’t even look up as he inserts himself into your conversation. You glare at his interruption. He looks up at Grace, bypassing you completely.

“Good morning, Grace darling, how are you today?” He sweeps over to her and takes her hand in his, planting a kiss on her knuckles. Gods he’s fucking insufferable. Not to mention unprofessional. Grace, however, blushes and giggles like a schoolgirl.

“I’m doing well, Dr. Ancunin, and yourself?” The tiefling’s voice jumps up about three pitches and her tail starts swishing excitedly.

“Leagues better now that I’ve been blessed with your presence,” he coos at her, voice positively saccharine. It takes every ounce of your patience to keep from rolling your eyes. He casts his gaze to you, and even you need to turn away from those piercing red eyes.

“Good morning, professor. Starting Much Ado with your students, I take it?” he asks with a light smile that makes you bristle.

“Yes, it’s a great way for them to practice switching between verse and prose,” you respond coolly, more than a little defensive.

“Of course, one of his best.” He glances down at the volume still in Grace’s hands and his eyebrows raise, peering over the top of his round glasses. “Going with the Bevington, hmm? Interesting. I’m more of a Norton man, myself.” He runs a slender finger along the binding as you grit your teeth. Is he really patronizing you over your choice of edition of Shakespeare’s Complete Works? Of course, he’s an English scholar.

“The Norton is a great tool dramaturgically, but the Bevington is a much better resource for actors, so, yes.” Your voice is steady but there’s an undeniable venom in it. Can he tell how much he’s bothering you? Probably, he’s almost certainly getting enjoyment out of riling you up. His little smirk would seem to suggest it, at least.

“Well certainly, and who knows acting resources better than our resident classical acting expert?” he intones, voice still dripping with honey. You narrow your eyes at him, unsure if he’s taking another jab at your degree.

“Well, as much as I enjoy standing around and debating the merit of various editions of the Complete Works, I’m about to be late for a meeting. Grace, thank you so much, I’ll be back later to pick up those copies. Dr. Ancunin,” you turn to his smug face and he looks back at you innocently. “A pleasure, as always.” You grab your papers and leave the office, feeling the heat of his gaze boring into the back of your head as you leave.

***

“Yes, Thaniel, come on in, have a seat,” you call out to the freshman loitering in the hallway outside your office. He comes in and drops his overfull backpack next to the teal club chair across from your desk. You close your laptop and smile at him warmly.

“So, Hamlet, that’s ambitious! I think it’s a good choice for you, but it’ll be a lot of work,” you say, glancing at your own copy of the monologue.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here,” Thaniel says nervously. “I’m fine with the scansion and stuff, that I get, but I still don’t get the actual words. And I know you said how important that is.”

“For sure, I can guarantee all of the bad Shakespeare you’ve seen has been because the actors had no idea what they were saying. Have you used the Lexicon?” Thaniel looks off to the side, embarrassed.

“No, I don’t really get how that works either,” he says, an air of chagrin creeping into his voice.

“No worries, it takes practice. Here, we’ll do a few lines together. So first off, to be or not to be, that’s fairly obvious, right?”

“Yeah, he’s talking about suicide, right?”

“Sure, but what is he actually saying about it? To take arms against a sea of troubles/And by opposing, end them. What’s ‘them’ referring to?”

“The sea of troubles?”

“Right, the aforementioned slings and arrows. So even though you might know what those words mean individually, look them up in the Lexicon to see if they have a different context here. But you’re right, he’s trying to figure out if it’s better to suffer through the shittiness of existence or to take your fate into your own hands and, well, end them.” You highlight the line and lean over your desk to show Thaniel. A voice pipes up from the doorway.

“That’s not exactly what he’s saying, you know.”

The paper crumples in your hand slightly as your fist instinctively tightens. You plaster a strained smile on your face and look up at him.

“Dr. Ancunin, thank you for gracing us with your presence. Care to elaborate?”

He’s leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, face in shadows. Your office is unusually dark because of the storm outside, and so the bright fluorescents in the hallway give him an almost ethereal halo effect

“It’s a common misconception that Hamlet is contemplating suicide here. Life and death, sure, but ‘to take arms’ isn’t metaphorical, it’s literal. He’s contemplating dying as a result of killing Claudius, not taking his own life,” he says, almost sounding bored. You stand abruptly, your office chair skidding backwards.

“How can that possibly be true? He says ‘to take arms against a sea of troubles.’ He’s using the active voice, deciding whether or not to continue his life or end it. To be or not to be. It’s the first line in the monologue. He’s not talking about the consequences of killing Claudius.” You try to keep your voice from shaking. You know that you don't sound nearly as eloquent as him, and it’s pissing you off. He shrugs nonchalantly.

“You’re oversimplifying it, it’s exceedingly more complicated than that. The whole soliloquy is filled with war imagery. He’s at war with himself, the part of him that wants to kill Claudius and the part of him that is afraid to die.” He pushes himself off the door frame and steps back into the hallway. “But apologies, please don’t let me interrupt your instruction.” And like that he was off, leaving you to stew in silence. Thaniel looks up at you and looks back at the doorway where he stood.

“Should I…” he starts, but you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

“Dr. Ancunin comes at this from a very different angle as an English academic. He’s more interested in the words on the page, rather than how they translate to the stage. But,” you sigh, loathe to give him any credit, “it’s a valid interpretation. We can go down that route, if you want, or we can look at it through this lens.” Thaniel chews his lip while he considers his options.

“I think what you said makes more sense, the suicide bit,” he finally decides. You nod and pull out your copies of the Shakespeare Lexicon.

“Great, let’s go over how to use the Lexicon again,” you say as you flip through the book, looking for the entry for ‘slings.’

***

You drop off your bag and toss your keys into a bowl on the counter. Fucking exhausting day. You unzip your boots and kick them vaguely in the direction of the shoe rack, stretching and curling your toes for relief. You hang up your wet coat and shake rain from your hair. Your eyes dart between the refrigerator, wherein resides a bottle of white wine, and the bathroom door, contemplating how good a hot bath would feel. Both? Both is good.

You pour yourself a generous glass of Riesling and strip your clothes on your way to the bathroom. One of the perks of living alone. Sitting naked on the edge of the tub, you sip your wine as the bath fills.

Fucking Ancunin.

You’re a little shocked at how much he got under your skin today. Normally you don’t think twice about him, excepting the few times you have the misfortune of passing him in the hallway. But today the fates decided to throw you together and your schedules aligned. Well, in your defense, you didn’t seek him out that second time, he was the one who decided to crash your office hours.

You don’t even like Hamlet that much. You certainly don’t care about alternative interpretations of “To be or not to be.” But you’re mostly annoyed because he had a fair point. His read makes Hamlet a more interesting character rather than a cowardly incel romanticizing suicide.

You slide into the bath, hissing slightly as the hot water flows over your chilled skin. Without prompting, Ancunin worms his way back into your thoughts. Hmmph. You take a gulp of wine to try to wash away the taste of the unpleasant image.

Well… not entirely unpleasant. He’s a good looking man, you’d be a fool to deny it. But gods he’s so smug. And interrupting your meeting with Thaniel was wildly inappropriate. Leaning your head against the edge of the tub, you try to focus your thoughts elsewhere. You’re not about to let him interrupt you again, and when he’s not even present, no less.

But there he is, in your mind, crimson eyes looking over the top of those metal frame glasses that you’re, like, 99% sure he doesn’t actually need to see. You take another swig of wine to drown his stupid face. With his stupid cheekbones. And his dumb fucking earrings that you want to bite.

Nine hells, what is happening? You’ve been drinking your wine quickly and aren’t thinking straight. You grab your phone and open Spotify, letting your daily mix play through the bluetooth speaker on the counter.

Now Playing: Hatefuck by The Bravery.

If I put my hands around your wrists, would you fight them?

If I put my fingers in your mouth, would you bite them?

By Mystra’s fucking grace, seriously? You growl at the growing heat between your legs. Between putting off dinner and chugging your wine, your head is swimming. You might be better off getting it out of your system.

The wine glass hits the tub edge with a clank as you angrily put it down and sink into the water up to your chin. You are satiating a purely physical need, nothing else.

You still shiver as you slip your hand between your legs, lightly running your finger up your slit. You can see his face, looking down on you through those glasses - those infuriating glasses - and your lips flutter. What does he look like under those sweaters? He’s so thin, but his clothes fit incredibly well. It’s not hard to imagine a sculpted body beneath. You spread your legs further and let the warm water tickle your folds.

His silvery curls would look so good between your legs, slender fingers wrapped around your thighs while he laps you up. At least then he’d shut up. A gentle moan escapes your lips as you run your finger along your inner lips, pretending it’s him. You could grab hold of those perfect locks, yanking on them to control where he can go, fucking his face.

You move your other hand up to your breast and start teasing your nipple, feeling his lips around it. You give it a little tug and groan, just like if he nipped at it.

You imagine sitting on his pretty face, pointed ears flushed and hair a mess. Your hips buck into your hand as they might on top of him and your toes curl. You make gentle circles around your clit, thinking of all the other uses for his silver tongue. You whine and squirm at the sensations of heat radiating through your body. You slip a finger inside and hiss as you can see his pale digits entering you in your mind’s eye. You curl it upwards and gasp, his imaginary eyes looking up at you through those long lashes and a smirk playing across his imaginary lips.

“Are you ready for more of me, darling?” You can hear him murmur into your ear.

“Yes, gods yes,” you reply breathlessly into the cold bathroom air. You slide another finger in and feel that delicious stretch. The ghost of him moans, coming undone at the sight of you. You could leave him speechless, for once.

You reach over the edge of the tub and grab the box of waterproof toys. You frantically sift through your collection of dildos, trying to find the right one. Here. It’s long and svelte like the rest of him, but bright shimmery purple. You suction it to the bottom of the tub and hover above it on your knees. It sways lightly in the water, tip of it teasing your pussy just like you’d love to do to him.

Gods, to see him beg for your cunt. To see him reduced to a babbling mess, pleading to let him inside you. Your breath quickens at the mental image of him pulling on his own hair waiting for you to satisfy him. You sink down onto the dildo and your groan of pleasure mirrors what you’d like to hear from him.

You start sliding yourself on the purple dick, feeling its ridges glide against the walls of your cunt as you continue to finger your clit. You imagine your hand splayed across his chest, your black nails standing in contrast against his pale skin. You claw at the bottom of the tub as you increase your pace, desperate to see the pink raised skin that your nails leave behind. The fingers on your clit speed up as well, and you can feel yourself getting close.

“Oh gods, Astarion, don’t stop,” the words tumble from your mouth unbidden. You will absolutely hate yourself for that later, but right now all that matters is your ecstasy. You bounce atop the dildo, disregarding the water that splashes over the side of the tub as you chase your finish. Your moans increase in pitch and fervor as the various images of him in all sorts of positions flash through your mind. Between your thighs, sitting on his face, riding his dick, even fucking pegging him from behind because why the hell not?

“Astarion!” You cry out his name as you crash over the edge, legs shaking and pussy pulsing. Your orgasm reverberates throughout your whole body as you ride it out. Eventually, your movement slows and the water gently sways around you. You look down at your hand, milky juices swirling in the now tepid tub water.

Shit.

***

The next day at work, you avoid him like the plague. You keep your office door closed, usually an unthinkable act but entirely necessary right now. You double check the hallway before leaving to go teach, and then after class you immediately duck back into your office and close the door again. You even avoid the main office for fear of running into him there.

You can’t look at his face right now. You can’t possibly look him in the eye.

When 5:00 rolls around, you glance out into the hallway. Most of the other professors are leaving. To play it safe, you decide to work until 6 so that you can be sure that he’s gone when you leave. You absentmindedly grade performance responses. After you’ve read one paragraph about Miss Julie maybe a half dozen times, you realize that it’s probably time to go.

You slowly open the door and glance out into the hallway. You can’t tell from this angle if his door is open or not. You grab your bag and coat, take a deep breath, and make a beeline for the stairs. As you approach his office you realize it’s open.

Fuck.

It’s fine. You’ll just walk past it and get to the parking lot and then you won’t need to worry about it. He might not even be in there. Or if he is, he probably has his head down and won’t notice you walk by. It’s fine. You’ve got this.

“Oh, professor, a word?” His voice floats into the hallway right as you’re passing his door. Are you fucking kidding? You turn to see him sitting at his desk, head down, writing something. He doesn’t even look up at you. Prick.

“Yes?” you ask, not budging from your spot in the hall. He glances up at you over his glasses. Those fucking glasses. You want to rip them off his face and throw them out the window.

“Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk.” His voice is low and cool. Does he fucking know? There’s no way he can know.

Right?

You tentatively take a step into his office. It’s surprisingly cluttered for a man who always looks so put together, but it’s still warm and inviting. You can barely see the walls for being covered corner to corner in bookshelves full to bursting. He’s got a big mahogany desk in the middle of the room - significantly nicer than the university-issued one. It’s covered in stacks of papers, books, weird little knick knacks; it’s amazing how he’s able to get anything done on it. There are two chairs facing his desk, much like yours, but a rich plush velvet instead of a scratchy cotton weave. He’s got a scent diffuser somewhere, giving the room an aroma like an earthy spiced tea.

“Have a seat,” he says, gesturing to the cushy red chairs across from him. You stand there, clutching your bag, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. When he realizes you’re not going to sit, he gets up and crosses over to the door.

“Do you mind if I close this? It’s… a bit embarrassing,” he asks with a crooked smile. You can feel the heat in your cheeks rising. Your mouth goes dry and you try to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

There’s no way he knows.

Right?

But something compels you to nod, so he closes the door and walks back to his desk, but rather than sitting behind it, he leans back casually on the front of it. He’s taken off the blazer he usually wears and is down to just the turtleneck, sleeves pushed up just below his elbows. He crosses his arms in front of his chest as you stare, waiting.

“I wanted to… apologize. For yesterday.”

You blink at him, the conversation not going in the direction you expected. You had been so focused on yourself, that it took you a moment to realize what he was referring to.

“It was inappropriate to barge in on your meeting with your student. You were mid-instruction, and I needn’t have inserted myself into your conversation.” He leaned back on his hands, stretching out his lean figure to impossible proportions. The grip on your bag slackened and you couldn’t help but drag your gaze over the length of his body. He looks at you quizzically.

“I get the sense that you don’t very much like me,” he muses.

Now it’s his turn to give you the once-over, and you feel practically naked before him the way he looks at you. “Then again,” he adds, and pushes himself off his desk. He slowly advances toward you, though whether like someone approaching a vicious beast or a predator stalking its prey, it’s unclear. You retreat while holding his gaze until your back is flush against the door.

No escape now.

He gets precariously close to you and takes an unsettling whiff. When he speaks again, his voice is a husky growl.

“I think it’s entirely possible you like me… quite a bit.” He’s got at least a half foot on you, and he looks down on you with heavy-lidded eyes. The heat in your face has fully reached the tips of your ears now, and your breath comes out ragged.

“I’m sure I-” you start, but it comes out thick and raspy. You clear your throat and try again. “I’m sure I don't know what you mean,” you finally manage with all of the composure you can muster. He cocks an eyebrow at you, then slowly takes off those infuriating glasses.

“No? Then perhaps I’m mistaken, and your heart rate hasn’t increased by approximately 20 beats per second in the past few minutes.” His eyes continue boring into you. “And maybe that smell between your legs is completely unrelated.”

An undignified splutter comes out of you as you press your thighs closer together. He takes a half step back to let you respond.

“If I am indeed mistaken, then I’ve said my peace and you’re free to go.” The seductive honey is gone from his voice, and in its place is a politely professional tone. You fully feel that he’s giving you an out, that you can both laugh on this as an embarrassing moment and neither will bring it up ever again.

But on the other hand…

“You’re not mistaken,” you choke out in a whisper. The lazy smile is back and he lifts your chin with his index finger.

“What was that? Speak up.” His command weakens your knees and you wither under his gaze.

“You’re not wrong,” you say more boldly, trying to meet his energy. His smile broadens, and for the first time you notice two pointy fangs slip out beneath his upper lip.

Fucking

vampire??

That explains how he could track your heartbeat, and even more his ridiculously keen sense of smell. Doesn’t make it any less humiliating.

“No, I don’t suppose I am,” he snarls and suddenly he’s kissing you roughly, hands twisting in your hair and one knee sliding up between your legs. He pushes you against the door and lifts you off your feet slightly. You’re desperate just to keep up as he devours you, hands weakly grasping at his hips, shoulders, neck. But he’s fully in control of the kiss, and after a moment you let him take you.

He breaks the kiss but doesn’t pull away, and you’re both breathing heavily, air cycling between your lungs. Your head feels full of a thick fog and you can’t fully see straight. His hands are still in your hair, tight but not pulling - yet. You get the sense that might not last long.

He drops to his knees and you nearly double over from the sudden lack of support. He runs his nose and lips across the hem of your black denim skirt, inhaling again. Your fingers lace into his hair, but not even remotely in the dominant way from your fantasy. At this point you’re just trying not to collapse.

He looks up at you, flashing another fang-bearing grin. His hand slips up your skirt and his thumb runs across your pussy, barricaded by your sheer tights and panties.

“Darling, you’re positively soaked,” he hums contentedly. “You’d have a hard time hiding this from anyone.” You bite your lower lip, trying to keep the needy whines at bay. But when he fiercely rips the crotch of your tights and presses the flat of his tongue against the drenched gusset, you can’t stop the cry from escaping your throat. He sucks lasciviously, the debauched slurping noise ringing in your ears. Your knees buckle and he grabs hold of your hips, hiking your skirt up to your waist to get better access to your dripping cunt.

He stands and kisses you again, the taste of you lingering on

his lips. He grabs your ass and digs his fingers into your flesh, spreading them until you gasp into his kiss. In one fluid motion he sweeps up your legs and wraps them around his waist, carrying you over to that incredible mahogany desk.

He plops you down on the hardwood and you hear books and papers tumbling onto the floor behind you. He presses his bulge into your mound, this time the sound of both of your moans mingling pleasingly. He tears at your chiffon button down, trailing hungry kisses down your chest as you throw your head back in pleasure. He makes quick work of fully removing your top, though you’re certain he sacrificed some buttons in the process. You hardly care as you paw wantonly at the back of his neck, desperate for him to get his lips onto every single inch of you. He pulls the lace cup of your bra down with his teeth and starts sucking on your nipple, pressing his hand into the small of your back. You arch into him, his hands working you like a soft clay.

So much for the pleading mess that you pictured last night. Instead, you’re the one who's been reduced to shambles, begging for satisfaction.

“Puh-please,” you stutter, and those devilish eyes lock onto yours again. He snakes his way back up your chest and bites your lower lip.

“Puh-please what?” he mocks your stammering, but makes up for it when he rolls his hips forward, dragging that delicious hardness against you. You squirm, trying to pull him closer but he’s got your arms locked in his grip. His lips leave yours and ghost over the flesh of your neck. He very gently scrapes his fangs across your jugular, eliciting a ghoulish moan from you in return. By all the gods, you hadn’t even considered that as a part of it. His movement made it clear that he won’t bite unless you want him to.

But holy hells do you want him to.

“Gods Astarion,” you gasp, and you swear you can feel his cock twitch at the sound of his own name. “Fuck me then bite me, or the other way around I don’t care, but please get in me!” The string of words almost sounds foreign to your own ears, but you’re well beyond the point of trying to sound clever. In an instant, he’s undone his belt buckle and his erection springs forth, bouncing and already dripping precum. He roughly shoves your panties to the side and sinks his cock and teeth into you simultaneously, drawing out your cry of both pain and pleasure. You wrap your legs and arms around him, trying to pull him in deeper. You can feel his mouth filling up with your hot blood just as your cunt fills up with his dick.

You’re panting as you grow more lightheaded, clinging to his neck. Unthinkingly, your fingers stroke his ears, playing with those tiny silver hoops. He lurches and pulls away from your neck, looking absolutely feral with your blood dripping down his chin, which only sets you off more. You angle your hips toward him, trying to get him to start thrusting into you. He pushes your back down onto the desk and hooks his elbows beneath your knee high boots. Then he starts pounding into you properly, and you feel like you’re close to losing it. You grab onto the edge of the desk as he revs up his pace, his cock stretching you out as he keeps your legs close to your ears. You can feel the heat mounting in your core and you know it won’t be long before you come. But at this point you’re just trying to hold on for dear life.

“Fuck, gods, Astarion, I’m-” You finish before your sentence does. He doesn’t relent as the orgasm wracks your body, if anything, he fucks you harder. Just as you’ve barely come down off your climax, he pulls out and yanks you off the desk, spins you around and pushes your face down into the smooth mahogany, warmed from where you had just been. He enters you again, this time from behind, and already you’re working your way up to a second one. Your bare tits squish against the polished surface and he grabs your hair, pulling your head up and arching your back into him.

For the first time you notice the mirror on the opposite wall across from his desk. But rather than both of you, you only see yourself, disheveled and well-fucked, lips swollen from his abuse. Your hair is pulled up by an invisible force behind you. Another unexpected aspect of vampire fucking.

You desperately wish you could see his face because you can feel his thrusts getting more uneven and erratic. You try to turn to get a glimpse of him, but his grip on your hair remains tight. But even if you can’t see him, you can hear him, his grunts and the low string of incoherent swears pouring out of his mouth. The sound of him getting lost in you is enough, and your own moans start building and mixing with his, an utter symphony of epicurism.

His hips give a few more broken thrusts and you can feel his climax, setting off yours. The throbs of his cock match those wracking your cunt, and you hold onto the edge of the desk as the waves wash over you. Once they’ve come to an end he pulls out, and you can feel his semen dripping out of the sudden emptiness and running down your leg. You quietly say a thankful prayer for your IUD.

You’re both panting as he collapses onto your back, planting a half-hearted kiss on your spine. You weakly push yourself up off the desk and see the devastation of papers, smears and fluids. You turn yourself around and relish in his appearance. Your blood is splattered on his fine cream sweater, his usually perfectly coiffed curls damp and sticking to his forehead. You reach up and wipe the remainder of your blood off his chin. He smirks and kisses you, significantly more gently this time.

“That was good,” you murmur through steadying breaths, “but next time, keep the fucking glasses on.”

[shotmrmiller]

i usually am a silent watcher , i.e. likes + reblogs ( + bombing my friend's messages w/ your shots ) but i just got thia thought and i have to spill it ! 😭

remember the post about ps!simon taking longer than usual and that's because he's watching mc's videos have been living in my head rent free , and i can't help but think about him receiving a notif about you starting a live , and in his hurry he accidentally ends up using his personal ( i.e. GHOST ) account!

due to your unresponsiveness to his messages , he kinda sticks to being quiet at the beginning, simply jacking his own cock off , but as he watches your lips part and your body bounces on the dildo , he can't help , kissing his teeth and typing with one hand in a flurry , his eyes slightly hooded and focused solely on you! hell , he isn't even looking at the keyboard!

GHOST : you're doing good as always

GHOST : fuck , my favourite girl , can't get off without you

GHOST DONATED $$$$

GHOST : i heard you last time , please moan my name again 💦

and these comments would've been lost within the chat unseen as per usual with his other account , others commenting the same things , who would care! but this time? the commenters ?

### : is that THE ghost ?

@@@ : fuck , even ghost is watching Y/N , that's the pussy power

*** : i guess even pornstars have their own favourite pornstars , fuck ghost chose well

the chat is going in an uproar , but the pretty horny you is too busy chasing her high , your eyebrows furrow, your glossed lips let out loud whines and breathy moans , and the noise of the donations coming through only makes you rub your own clit faster till you're seeing white and cumming all over the fake dick , whining lowly "hnghh, g-ghost, please..."

only when you're done twitching and twisting with that aftershock do you look at the screen and your mouth falls agape

cAN YOU IMAGINE!?!!

WHAT DOES GHOST DO AFTER HE ACCIDENTALLY DID THAT?? WHAT DOES MC DO!?!!;?;?! THE PEOPLE GOING MAD IN THE COMMENTS OF YOUR LIVE, IN THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS, SCREENSHOTS ARE CIRCULATING TWITTER , INSTA , TUMBLR , EVERY OTHER PLATFORM KNOWN TO MAN!?! DOES THE COMPANY TRY TO COVER UP THIS SCANDAL , OR do they use it as a way to recruit mc to simon , perhaps if he got his hands on her he might get back to performing like before ;) (he does. except he only performs with her now)

( i hope it wasn't too long? i usually just pitch a tiny idea and run , but i , uh , idk what came over me- plus , I don't use those sites so i have no idea how that works exactly and i hope they don't "announce" who joined the live like they do in IG , uhhh , okok , this is it , byyyee!! 😭✨✨✨ )

there's no hiding. he'll tell his manager that it really was an honest mistake, but you've been ignoring all of his emails and he's up to his forehead with pent-up sexual frustration. it works though :>

he's got your attention now.

there wouldn't be any recruiting because she doesn't wanna be seen by anyone. it's just her and her phone at home. people are scummy and no one will hold shit over her head. this is where he shows up at her house with sweaty palms and rosy cheeks (he's so desperate to get his hands on reader that his vision's blurring lmao)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I restart an argument with a friend?

🌊⚓ <- so I can search for it.

So, a while ago, a friend was over and we talked. She is from South Germany while I am from North Germany, where we are both living (this'll be important in a sec).

I don't really remember why we were talking about the topic, but we started talking about regional dialects and sayings and then she called Low German* a dialect. Which tldr: big no-no. But I don't think she was being malicious, she just didn't know about the topic at all.

So naturally I explained: "You absolutely cannot call Low German a dialect to peoples faces around here. People will take offense to it. I don't really, because I consider the difference between dialect and language is arbitrary to begin with. But you will provoke incredibly unkind reactions from other people."

Her response was "Yeah but like. Doesn't everyone think their own dialect should be a language."

And... Idk why that one hurt but it did. It just felt incredibly dismissive. And I didn't really know how to respond other than "but this is the one case where it is true" which felt weird so I just. Didn't. We kinda moved on to other topics. But in hindsight, I really wish I hadn't?

Because I wish I had explained it in depth to her so she understands why what she said is considered unacceptable. But also for her own sake, because she will piss people off if she says the same thing to other people. And honestly for my sake so I can make peace with the conversation.

So I'm considering either finding a way to restart the argument/ conversation when we are together or go the cowardly route and send her a couple screenshots explaining the topic. But I also feel like restarting a fight we never really had and really doesn't matter is kind of a dick move.

Additionally I tend to be a person that corrects people when they are wrong and starts discussion way too much. Because in my family academic debates are a love language.** So I tend to reaaaaaally overestimate the amount of debating/ arguing people are comfortable with. They tend to perceive me as being upset with them while I am just having fun hashing out a topic from different angles.

So Tumblr. WIBTA?

Footnotes

* Low German is the regional language of North Germany. The definition of North Germany is actually pretty much "wherever they are speaking Low German". There is some controversy if Low German is a dialect or a language. Which like... People often describe it as closer to Dutch and English than Standard German, it's a recognised language in every state it is spoken in, it is recognized as a regional language in the fucking European Union WHY is it still controversial.

It is also very much an endangered language because in the past decades especially it has been looked down on as being "lower class". No that's not where the name comes from, low german is spoken where the terrain is flat/ low and high/ upper german is spoken where the mountains are. This attitude towards Low German is shifting a lot recently but it is entirely possible it's too late to prevent it from dying out.

** I felt like this part needed some clarification too. I can't count how many dinners in my childhood were spent eating while getting into the meat of whatever topic caught our attention. Politics or science or more spiritual stuff. Ask questions about things we were wondering about. Absolutely tear into each other when we had opposing positions, but concede when we were convinced. Oftentimes I'd get up to grab pen and paper, or demonstrate orbital dynamics with the jam container, a bowl and my plate, or use the butter as an impromptu drawing board.

But that doesn't mean we were fighting in the normal sense even if someone got upset occasionally. It was really just communicating with one another. It was connecting. Exercising our debate skills. Play-fighting but make it academia. It was genuinely fun to us and still is. An alternative outlet for sibling rivalry. There is no need to fight over the TV remote when you can just reason it out together.

So yeah. That's how academic debates can be a love language (and simultaneously absolutely destroy your conception of what is considered arguing).

[jjs-brainrot]

And finished Girls band Cry.

Is it the best band anime of all time? Yes. Is it up there with stuff from Studio Orange as one of the best 3DCG anime? Yes. Is it absolutely my contender for anime of the season? Hell yes!

It's honestly been a long time since I've seen a completely original series just keep up such a consistently high production value and writing quality through out its run time. Like what ever you choose for the "weakest" episode would still basically be the highlight episode in any other anime.

The CGI genuinely might be some of the most expressive and fluid I've seen in a 3DCG anime. Like not even just in terms of framerate or character movement, I mean every scene each character has so much detailed and intricate facial and body language going on at every moment. It doesn't translate well into screenshots but it genuinely feels like you can just get how a character is feeling and what their personality is like in any given scene based purely on body language a lone which is incredibly impressive.

Writing-wise, it's hit after hit after hit. While some episodes are higher then others, there's never a moment where the series isn't doing everything in it's power to hit the emotional beats it's wanting to hit. The writing also just fully commits to feeling just really well grounded? Like nothing feels too out of left field or unearned and it just feels like a pretty natural story about a band coming together to try to make it in the modern music scene.

The entirety of the main cast is just fantastic.

Nina is easily going up there as one of my all time favorite protags. She's brash, goofy, has a sense of justice she never strays from even when it actively does her harm, she's angry af and she genuinely acts like how a teenager who's been though some shit would act. She's a flawed person (an outright hypocrite at times even) but that's what makes her such a relatable character.

Momoka comes across as a hot headed but confident rocker girl, but the reality is she's a bit of a coward. She sees herself as a complete failure and the only reason she hasn't already run away is the angry little hedgehog girl, whom she sees so much of her younger self in (even if a lot of that might be projection), keeps stopping her at every turn.

Subaru: the actress, the liar, the goofball, the hedgehog wrestler. So much of her personality is being as blatantly fake as fuck as she can every scene before someone calls her out on it. And so much of her fakeness just crumbles anytime she has to deal with her bandmate's antics (Nina especially) to the point that she can just be herself around them. She also has the funnest facial expressions and body language. She just has to be extra in every scene she's in.

Tomo and Rupa did feel like they got a little bit shafted in the series if I'm honest. A lot of that is because they really didn't get to get much screen time until the half way point though the fact that the series is much more focused on Nina and Momoka's storyline so the other three got less focus. Tomo tended to act like the band's straight man but she def got her own goofy moments. Rupa is the friend mom of the band. She does have the most depressing backstory but she always has to keep the mood lively (especially if there's beer involved).

The Music in GBC is absolutely fantastic. If Bocchi the Rock! is an homage to the current J-Rock scene, referencing bands like Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Tricot and 88Kasyo Junrei, Girls Band Cry is much more focused on paying homages to J-Rock from the 90s and 2000s, referencing bands like Yura Yura Teikoku, Gingnangboyz, Spitz and Eastern Youth.

Togenashi Togeari themselves might be my all time favorite J-Rock band now. Their music just absolutely hits and I just can't stop obsessing over them. What's particularly wild is that the VAs/musicians comprising Togenashi Togeari are all first time VAs who were all hired through an audition process that was specifically looking for women who never sung in public, played in a band, or played rock before. The series is just that committed to being grounded that it forms a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band to play a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band.

So anyways, I've rambling for far too long. Girls band Cry is amazing, you should all watch it in whatever way you can and then listen to all of TogeToge's songs on endless repeat like me.

[sirinoya]

a transcription of the diaries/journals from the prismarine castle

i dont want to forget any of it, so i made this so i have easy access.. screenshots of the journal pages are after each journal transcription!

Edith's journals:

"Ice Wall" by Edith

It happened so fast, and it came out of nowhere! An ice wall split out city in HALF! I was busy doing errands when it happened. Our power regulators... they're encased. I'm at one of the towers writing this right now. Our bridges are flickering. This whole situation is looking pretty dire. I'm trying to stay calm and practical about it. I don't know whether or not Elise is over here yet, as I haven't gone looking. But if she's not here, then she must be on the other side, along with whoever else. Maybe this will be a temporary thing.. At least, hopefully our systems can get back to working before things become worse. Till next time.

2. "Elise" by Edith

Oh Elise... It's horrible out there, and I hope, not as horrible over there. The council is trying to break through the ice—I fear it is too strong... Every day I examine the perimeter, but it is getting harder now that the vents are blocked. Water is seeping in and I've noticed it has climbed to my knees. Eventually, I won't be able to go down to the lower quarters. I pray to find a crack in the wall soon. I will get back to you. My Elise.

3. "Accomodations" by Edith

The council has started to make decisions now for the 'greater good.' They are militarizing our situation. I feel as if I am a poseable doll. They are telling me to do this and that. We sleep on cots and eat portions which leave me hungrier than before. The water is now too high for me to walk through. I am stuck up with them. Without you... Elise, I hope your side is doing well. You might have fared luckier since Constatine is most likely with you. He knows how to guide us rightfully. Stay strong My Dove.

4. "Decisions" by Edith

Elise. it is getting dire now on our side. Whispers are being shared of abandoning our homes and leaving. Leaving!? Pah! I've lived here all my life, and with you. Nothing else is out there worth my attention. Only you. Only these memories of us. I'll stay here instead, if they do decide to leave through the cobbled walls.

4. "Cold" by Edith

It is getting colder in the air. My body shivers. The walls are getting crystalized by the ice. I can't even move if I wanted to... I can't feel much anymore either. I hope it's warmer over there for you, Elise.

these are all the journals i saw. twitch has stopped working for me, though, so i haven't been able to check through apo, graecie, martyn and kuervo's group </3 someone please tell me if there's another! tyty

[queerlycarter]

hi, i've been out of work for over a month because of a neurological issue (probably. they haven't found anything yet.) which has pretty much cleared up, but all my other chronic issues have been flaring so badly i still can't go back to work. i've been trying to do some freelancing and online odd jobs but the most i've made doing that was like $12 in one day. i'm still looking for a remote job i can feasibly do, but right now i need to figure out how to pay my bills.

i have two credit card payments due, both overdue. my phone payment is due march 24th (i'm able to promise to pay or do a split payment on different dates and they won't disconnect my service, so i have a little wiggle room). my car payment is overdue. my storage bill is due april 9th

and i need to pay board & pay for feed for my horse. i've had her since 2017, she's retired because she's ancient and full of arthritis. when i adopted her, i could afford everything, and i have been struggling to ensure i can pay her board every month because retirement farms are just as expensive and i don't feel right selling her when i know it's extremely likely they'll just put her down. her name is ishka:

so, payments.

phone payment is $128, due asap

credit card #2 needs $135, due asap.

ishka's board is $450, plus her feed for the month ($150) for a total of $600. the barn manager has been very understanding and knows i'm out of work for medical reasons, but this is for march board and i really don't want to end up two entire payments behind. so anything towards march's board would be a huge relief

credit card #1 needs $175, due april 1st.

car payment needs at least $131. the total amount due right now is $263; $131 is the regular payment due (april 1st), so if i can at least get the regular payment covered, it won't add more to what i owe.

storage bill is $85, due april 9th

for the credit cards, as long as i can throw like $20 at them like once a week that's good enough for now. i'm far more concerned with my phone bill, board, and my car payment. and the storage bill soon

total needed asap: $728 (phone, board & feed)

full total: $1206

i know this is a lot. i hate that i have to ask for the help. i'm spending the weekend looking for remote work and on monday i'm going to call some temp agencies

i offer editing commissions

and i will do stippling drawings of objects, landscapes, and animals, like these:

if you send anything & are interested in the editing or drawings, send me a dm

ko-fi in bio, p/yp/l is @elvenari

i will show payment required screenshots upon request (except for my phone bill; the app won't let me)

[itsdappleagain]

tagged by @emily-prentits THANK YOUU THIS LOOKS SO FUN

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

18!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

141,974 words...which is a little embarassing considering jo, who tagged me, has 59 works and only about 30,000 more words. evidently i like my longfics.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

carmen sandiego 2019! 17 of those and one (1) original work that i dont mention in this post at all

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cardinal and the kitten - 325 kudos

say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime (let me lead you from your solitude) - 164 kudos (we call her the phantom au for short)

simple are the ways of love (simple as the touch of another's hands) - 156 kudos

Upon the Sword - 154 kudos

Everything is a Lie - 127 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

Most of them yes!! I LOVE getting comments I screenshot and save every one I get.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm- I guess it depends. Hellscape ends with Carmen's internal monologue just before she gets mind-wiped by VILE, but its technically no angstier than canon. they gave you life (and in return you gave them hell) is pretty angsty the whole way through and examines Carmen's trauma.

Those are both little one-shots, though- I usually end my reigns of terror within chapter fics pretty happily if I can manage it. The Phantom AU (linked above) ends in a dark place but leagues brighter than it seemed to be heading towards. It isn't a terribly neat and happy ending, and it tells a story of trauma and attempted suicide and the road to recovery from these. Let's go with that one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In Love Is A Locked Cell Door Chase Devineaux and Crackle happily start making out in a jail cell and live happily ever after!

Ok, being serious-

For a one-shot, simple (linked above) starts happy and ends happier.

For a chapter fic, Choice ends with Carmen, Julia, and Gray all living in a very happy polycule pardoned from the law with full emotional control of their lives which is fun :]

8. do you get hate on fics?

@emily-prentits used to leave passive aggressive comments on my wattpad and we would fight in the comments sections 💀now we're partners so make of that what you will. but anyway, no serious ones, no!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

No, not really! I have a few "fade-to-blacks" or skip-overs without any detail. The one time I tried writing smut it was really forced and hard for me to write...doesn't help that I've never felt sexual attraction in my life so I don't know about that. Curse you asexuality for taking papertiger handcuff sex away from the world.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

No, I'm not a fan of crossovers

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had one or two...heavily referenced. Not in bad faith, but it was funny to see a lot of my plot and prose mannerisms reworded in a younger author's fic. I think they credited me as inspiration or gifted it to me both times so its not a big deal.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

If FRANTIC FANFIC! counts, which it shouldn't lol. Also the polycule is working on something :3

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an au where paper star and black sheep escape VILE together and go through a sort of friends to lovers to enemies deal as carmen (renamed cardinal here due to never escaping in the boat the way she does in canon), though influenced by paper star at the start, eventually finds her inevitable path of good while paper star slips into a chaos that cardinal just can't stomach

ill paste a snippet here that i wrote but its a little bit long and complex and i dont have a ton of motivation for it

16. what are your writing strengths?

ABILITY TO MAKE READERS SUFFER

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

cohesive plot...lord help me i cannot plan a fic to the end before i post chapter 1 and it bites me in the ass all the time

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if there's a small amount of it, i usually write it as-is in the other language and use external sources or context clues to explain it. if a lot of dialogue is in another language, I'll put it in brackets and write it in english!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

carmen sandiego. still going lmfao

20. favorite fic you've written?

that's really hard- i'm going to do top three in no particular order SORRY

Love, Carmen - this was the first or one of the first fics I ever wrote. it put me on the map a little bit (wattpad..) in terms of writing and boosted upon the sword and choice when they came along. it was really fun to just be young and writing after finishing all two released seasons of the show. i still like it a lot. its just cute and simple.

the phantom au - what a labor of love. i've had other fics (evil carlotta series, cough cough) that have been long and complex but those strayed into meandering and pointless and i lost a lot of motivation. phantom combined my love of theater with my favorite show and my hunger for angst angst angst. it was super fun to write and, at the risk of sounding vain, i pulled off a very hard to pull off trope at the end and i think i did it well. i think if you read any one of mine, this highlights a lot of my strengths.

the cardinal and the kitten - this is a popular one of mine that kind of serves as an updated love, carmen. i really enjoy how i wrote carmen and julia playing off of each other and my dialogue is very strong in this one.

okay, sorry about how long that was i treated it like a professional interview. i had a lot of fun writing this instead of working on a very important school project

[lazzarella]

Every episode is over too quickly, even though they're mostly getting longer ;__; anyway, back again with my rambling nonsensical notes!!!

- Aww! Baby!Dee!

- Gah, they're so sweet (visiting the little boy)

- "At least it reminded me I hadn't been forgotten" Ouch!! Guessing Dee's parents were quite absent when he was a kid? (Though I guess we don't know yet when they died)

- holy crap, these two gazing at each other when they're taking a photo with the little boy lmao at least Yak was paying attention

- How can Yak still be Dee's patient when everyone knows they're dating?

- "One month, five days, etc." DUDE!!!! Are you— I just can't...

- lol @ Dee not remembering Yak's birthday! But I did! XD (really should have posted that screenshot of his file that I've had saved in my drafts since ep 1... Sigh)

- "Find joy in becoming someone else in your own way"

- I love Kao <333

- Yak sulking and taking Dee's drink was so cute :3

- bloody hell, Yei just pulling Cher onto his lap like that O_O

- "You wear size 56?" I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA!

- Ahhhhh! Yak's face when grandma says he must be the reason Dee's watching boxing now!!! He's so pleased!!!

- lmaoooooo the giant dick plushie!!! (That bloody thing haunts me on aliexpress btw!!!! I can't search for anything without it popping up, as it were)

- look, I know I always gush over how soft Yak is but seeing him cuddling Ice Bear was almost too much for me

- "I've gotten used to having you in my arms" WHO SAYS THAT, YAK?? WHO???? Not fake boyfriends that's who!

- And now he's pouting because he wants to cuddle!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh

- And then he brings up Taem. Well done! lol

- (Okay, it's clear—or, well, likely—he's just clinging to his crush on Taem any time his feelings for Wandee rear their pretty head(s), but... Jeez, dude!)

- And Dee's face? His response??? He's not talking about Taem

- "Let's find something fun to do!" I love you, Grandma!

- Yak taking a video of her ;__;

- Okay, her all black outfit is super cool! And she's wearing creepers!! I think...

- Yak referring to himself as Dee's boyfriend at the cemetery... *pinches bridge of nose* I can't handle much more of this. And Dee's deflection! Ahhh. The way they're both dealing with their developing feelings is so interesting and delicious to watch

- oh that outfit does not suit Yak…

- I wonder if Yei is doing underground fights for $$$ to help the gym??? And that’s why he didn’t get physical with Cher. Idk

- Yak offering to help Dee again <33333

- There really is purple and yellow everywhere! (The cardboard Taem was carrying)

- I need a comparison between Taem's reaction when Yak grabbed her hand (not really comfortable) vs when he grabs Dee's hand!!!

- And Yak could be spending more time with Taem but he already had plans with Dee! Gosh, he's just... Oh, that boy!

- Ahhh! They're baking! They're having a flour fight! They're flirting over food again!!

- (Is this the first time we've seen Dee in the elephant pants too?)

- Holy shit, the audacity of Ter taking Kwan to the same restaurant and are they sitting at the same table???????

- so many short shorts and cut off tees and I'm not complaining

- awww! The tiny drink buddy dude has a name!

- The TENSION when they're listening to Fluke's song though??? JFC. You need a ginsu to cut through that

- YOU HAVE SWEET EYES??!!! No comment. I just can't lol

- smooch blocked by the oven timer! lol they really were going to kiss that time, though

- Ahhhhh, Dee looks so happy!!!!

- Yak taking and posting a photo of Gooddy on his glass was adorable :3

- (ngl, with them standing so close to the edge of the balcony, I was envisioning Gooddy going over the side lol)

- love them plugging the new line stickers in the toothbrush bit

- YoryakWandee vs WandeeYoryak is giving me duck season vs rabbit season lol

- Ahhhh! Next week's preview!!! How am I meant to wait???

[ageofbarbarians]

Pull Over // J.M.K

AgeOfBarbarians

A/N: this was an old Harry fic of mine. I’m so sorry if there are any name typos im pretty sure i got them all though

Summary: Y/N goes on a date with Josh. They decide to take a little drive and have a picnic

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Unprotected Sex, Oral Sex (m&f receiving), Choking, Spanking, Edging

Word Count: 5.1K

M A S T E R L I S T

“You have to tell me everything about it. I don’t want any missing details! Do you think anything will happen?” Your best friend, Aluora, shouted excitedly through the phone. She had been your best friend since kindergarten but ever since you moved you haven’t seen her in a while. You two talked every day and it’s like nothing had ever changed even though you were on opposite sides of the country.

“I won’t I promise, but I don’t think so. I told myself I was going to take things slow. I told him that too. He hasn’t even kissed me yet! I mean I wouldn’t have minded because it’s just a kiss and I wanted to so bad but I’m not one to make the first move, you know that.” You shrugged. Your phone was set up against the sink and wall as you continued to get ready since you were on FaceTime.

“Wow what a gentleman. Most guys try to fuck after the first date. He must be a keeper.” Aloura laughed and you laughed with her.

“Tell me about it. I hope he is though. He’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met and god, he is so damn sexy.” You threw your head back at your last words and you could hear her laugh through the other end.

“Do you have any pictures of this mystery man? I still have yet to see what he looks like. You haven’t even told me his name!” She groaned. You grabbed your phone and went to his Instagram page and screenshotted a picture of him.

“Before I show you, you have to promise me you won’t freak out. I have no idea how it happened, but it did.” You point your finger at the screen and Aloura put both hands up in the air to show she wouldn’t.

You sent over the picture and as soon as it went through all you could hear was the loudest scream out could possibly imagine. You turned down the volume on your phone a few notches before she blew a speaker.

“Y/N, you’re fucking kidding me. Josh Kiszka!? You’re lying.” She shook her head in disbelief. Aloura was a huge fan of Greta Van Fleet's music which is one of the main reasons you didn’t tell her because you knew she’d freak out.

“I’m not lying. Again, I have no idea how it happened.” You continued to do your makeup, opening your mouth just so you could apply your mascara.

“Y/N, I need to meet all of them. Seriously like we have to go to a show or something.” She begged. You shook your head as you laughed at her pleading. You still had yet to see them perform but from your understanding, they were currently on a break from touring so they could work on new music. 

“They aren't even touring right now. But, depending on how all of this goes maybe I'll see what I can do...” You stood still for a minute trying to rack your brain of all of the possibilities.

"I can't believe you are seeing a member from my favorite band and you just decided to keep it from me. What kind of bullshit is that?" She questioned. You could see the stupid smile on her face and you knew she was freaking out internally but didn't want to show it. 

"Because I knew you'd react like this." You laughed. You were in the bathroom finishing the final touches on your hair and makeup waiting for your date to arrive. You smiled at the thought of being able to see Josh again. The two of you were going on a second date. Nothing too fancy, just going for a drive and possibly a picnic if the weather decided to clear up. You hadn't been in Michigan long but you were loving it so far. You only had a few friends here that you knew from high school since they moved for college but after you had graduated you just needed a change. Granted it was a few years since you had graduated, but better late than never right? 

You worked at a cafe that was down the street from your apartment and the money was good. You made a few friends through work but still had yet to hang out with any of them. You were a homebody and without Aloura here, things just weren't the same.  You still missed her more than anything. 

Right as you finished applying a thin layer of lip gloss you heard three knocks at the door. You gave yourself one last look over before turning off the light and exiting the bathroom to make your way to the front door.

“I gotta go he’s here. I love you!” You wave to Aloura and you end the FaceTime call. You took a deep breath, butterflies filling your stomach. You answered the door to see Josh standing there holding an assorted bouquet. Different types of white, yellow, orange, and pink flowers. You didn’t know what any of them were besides the sunflowers and daisies.

"Josh, you didn't have to get me flowers! You're too sweet." You grabbed them from him and stepped to the side so he could come into your apartment. You walked over to the small kitchen and tried to find a vase of some sort to put them into. You found a tall, skinny, black vase and filled it with water before setting the flowers inside to set on the counter. 

"Pretty flowers for a pretty girl. I couldn't just show up empty-handed. We’re you talking to somebody?" Josh shrugged casually and wrapped his arm around your waist before planting a small kiss on your cheek. You could feel your cheeks heat up at the small gesture as it took you slightly off guard since you guys haven't even shared a first kiss yet. Not that it was a huge deal, anyway, just a surprising gesture.

“Yeah, I was on the phone with my best friend. M’nervous to be honest.” You mumbled the last part. You played with your fingers for a moment waiting for a response from him.

“Nervous? What for?” He asked. There were plenty of reasons why you were nervous.

“I’m not sure.” You lied. Lying was never a good thing to start in a new relationship, or whatever this was, but you didn’t want to turn it into a whole thing.

You had just gotten out of a tough relationship a couple of months prior. One of your friends had introduced you to Josh and the two of you hit it off almost immediately. You told him from the very beginning that you wanted to take things slow, and he was doing just that. On your first date, the two of you went to a nice restaurant and got ice cream afterward. Even though you told him you wanted to take things slow, you were shocked he didn't kiss you after bringing you home. A kiss is just a kiss, anyway. 

"I packed some stuff for us. I thought maybe we could have a little picnic. Has the weather cleared up any? I haven't looked outside." You grabbed the small basket from the fridge and pulled it out. There was an assortment of sandwiches, chips, fruit, and even a bottle of wine with some glasses just to spice things up a little. 

"That sounds nice, mama. I have some blankets in the back of my car. But a little bit, yeah. It's still pretty cloudy outside but it feels nice. Should we go?" Josh nodded his head and grabbed the small basket from your hands so you wouldn't have to carry it. You nodded in response and grabbed your phone and purse before the two of you walked down to his car. 

"You know, I had an amazing time last weekend. I know I told you multiple times already but I genuinely did." You stared at your feet as you walked down the hall and eventually down the stairs since you lived on the second floor of your apartment building. 

"I did too. I'm really glad we're going out again. I wasn't expecting a picnic though, luckily I have a couple of extra blankets in my car." Josh opened the door and stepped to the side holding it open so you could go first. He followed right behind you and then made his way back next to you. 

"Did you get a new car?" You questioned as you went up to the passenger door you were going to open it yourself but Josh stopped you as he swatted your hand away.

"Hey now, that's my job. But yes, I did." He gave you a playful glare before shooting his signature grin at you. He opened the door for you and you hopped into the passenger seat. Josh got into the driver's seat and sat the basket down by your feet to make sure it didn't tip over.

You looked down at the pale yellow sundress with little daisies printed all over. It was one you had just bought recently and you figured this date would be perfect to wear it for the first time. It wasn't anything special but it was a new favorite piece that you added to your closet. You could feel Josh's eyes on you before he finally spoke up

"You look absolutely beautiful, Y/N. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner." Josh scanned your body for a minute and the action alone sent chills down your spine. There was just something so intimidating about his gaze that you found it hard to make eye contact with him sometimes.

"You don't have to apologize, it's not like I was expecting any sort of compliment. But thank you." You blushed at his compliment and looked down at your feet. Josh pulled away from the curb and began driving towards the coast. He slipped on a pair of sunglasses that seemed to fit his face perfectly. He turned up the radio a bit and music played softly throughout the car. 

After driving for about fifteen minutes, the drive was filled with quiet music coming from the radio, but silence from the two of you. As you observed the scenery and you let him focus on driving. The wind had picked up which caused your dress to ride up slightly on your freshly shaven legs. Josh put his hand on your thigh and began to rub small circles with his thumb. The simple touch sent jolts of electricity through your body. He hadn't even done anything and he was already driving you crazy. You bit your lip before looking over at him, and he had the smallest smirk on his face, almost like he knew the effect he had on you. You observed his features from the side and scanned his body. He wore a white long-sleeve shirt with a pair of khakis and the outfit was accompanied by a pair of white Converse. The look was so simple yet he looked so insanely hot. His curly locks were blowing in the wind and every few minutes he would take his hand off the wheel and push them back, still keeping his other hand on your thigh. His hand moved up your thigh slightly, the dress moving over the top of his hand.

You looked back out the window to avoid any more wandering thoughts but they genuinely were getting the best of you. You had made a promise to yourself to take things slowly but there was just something about Josh that made you want to forget all of that. You trusted him fully, he hasn’t given you a reason not to. He was completely understanding of wanting to take things slow because of your past relationship and he never tried to break any of those boundaries thus far.

The thoughts never strayed though. You thought about what his fingers and mouth might feel like against your core, what his lips would feel like intertwined with yours. Everything about what his touch would be like took over your mind. 

You shifted in your seat and you could feel his eyes on you. A wave of heat crept to your core and you bit your lip again. All of the possibilities going through your mind.

We're going slow. You made a promise to yourself.

Josh's hand moved a little further, his fingers gripping your inner thigh and his thumb still rubbing small circles. Every time he would make a circle his thumb would slightly graze the inner part of your leg that meets your pelvic bone. You leaned your head to the side against the headrest and let out a shaky breath, hoping he wouldn't notice. You could feel your cheeks getting hot at the simple contact but he was just lighting you on fire. 

“Y/N I know you want to take things slowly but fuck, you’re driving me crazy.” His voice was deep and he adjusted in his seat, pulling on the material of his pants to relieve some of the stress.

“In a good way, I’m hoping?” You laughed softly and Josh laughed with you. You obviously could tell how frustrated he was with the way he adjusted himself.

“Yes. In a great way even. Frustrating, but in a good way.” He nodded and squeezed your thigh a little tighter this time. You put your hand over the top of his and move it closer to your core, assuming he’d gotten the hint.

"Tell me to stop, and I'll stop." He spoke quietly, but just quietly enough for you to hear him. His thumb grazed over your heat, slowly starting to rub small circles over the clothed damp center. He continued his slow, circular movements for a few minutes and every time he made a complete pass you could just feel yourself getting hotter. He looked over at you for a moment to gauge your reaction and your eyes fluttered closed.

"Don't stop." You shook your head and as you did, you could feel the dampness becoming more prominent and you knew he could feel it too. You hummed to yourself and let the overwhelming feelings just take control. You lifted your dress ever so slightly to reveal the black lace underwear you put on this morning. Josh's eyes went back and forth between your hips and the road. A small groan left his lips as he tried to observe the material as best as he could while still trying to focus on driving.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're going to make me crash this damn car.” Josh chuckled but never stopped his movements, if anything he sped them up. A soft moan left your lips that you were praying he heard just to get more of a rise out of him.

"Should I pull over somewhere? Say the word and I will." He asked swiftly, eyes going back and forth between you and the road again. You nodded your head but that wasn't good enough for him.

"I want to hear you say it. Do you want me to pull over?" His voice was low. You could hear the dominance in his voice and it was incredibly sexy. 

"Pull over." And without a second thought, Josh quickly pulled over down a dirt road. He sped up to get down faster and you hit a pretty private field. There wasn't anybody around and it was almost like he knew this was here. Maybe it was just sheer luck. Or was that his plan? 

Josh faced his car towards the flowery field. The sight itself was gorgeous but it was the last thing you could focus on right now.

Josh threw the car into park and turned off the ignition. He undid both your seatbelts and focused all of his attention on you. His fingers moved over your clothed entrance again, teasing you at every chance he could get.

"Please don't be a tease, Josh." You moaned, shifting your hips to gain more friction against his hands. His movements would go at a slow, steady pace before he would speed them up again and repeat the process all over again. 

"Let's get out, yeah?" Josh opened his door before rushing over to your side and opening your door for you. He put one arm behind your back and the other underneath your legs before lifting you out. You couldn't help but laugh at his antics but also at how needy he was. Granted you wanted this more than anything but you were hiding it more than Josh was. 

He brought you to the front of the car and sat you on the hood. It wasn't hot but it was warm enough to make your legs sweat a little. It was a nice heat, but from how hot and bothered you were it definitely wasn't helping.

"Are you sure you want me on the hood of the car? You said you just got it." You questioned. Josh positioned his body between your legs and brought one of his hands to the back of your neck.

"That's exactly where I want you, darling." He smirked before his lips crashed down onto yours. You took in a deep breath through your nose as the action caught you slightly off guard. Your eyes fluttered closed and you leaned a little more into the kiss. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, requestion permission to enter. You opened your mouth slightly to allow his tongue to slip in, both of yours fighting for dominance. At the same time, a groan rumbled from his chest as a moan escaped yours.

Josh's lips moved from yours to your cheek, to your neck, and down towards your collarbones, sucking and biting a little harder in some places that you knew were bound to leave lilac marks. With every kiss, he just kept sinking lower and lower until he was on his knees in front of your clothed core. He bunched up your dress at your waist and placed his fingertips at the sides of the lace underwear.

"Y/N, I mean it, tell me to stop at any point and I will. If anything gets too rough or you're uncomfortable just tell me."

"I want you to do anything but stop. Please." You whimpered. His eyes flashed a darker shade before he ripped the lace right off your hips. The tear created a slight sting against your skin and you hissed a little.

"Josh, those were my favorite!" You whined. 

"I'll buy you more, I promise." He smirked as one of his hands made contact with your heat. Arousal pooled between your legs with every little touch he made and it was clear that he knew it was because of him. His thumb made circles against your bundle of nerves and the small bit of pressure caused a moan to escape past your lips.

"I wanna taste you, darling." He whispered just loud enough for you to hear.

"Please," was all you could say before his mouth attacked your core. A lengthy moan escaped your lips at the fact he had finally made some sort of contact with you. He sucked on your bundle of nerves causing your legs to shake slightly. You're pretty sure he noticed as his arms wrapped around them to keep you as still as he could.

"Fuck, Josh," You moaned as Josh licked a long slow strip up your core. Your hands moved to his hair and you tugged slightly which earned a groan from him that vibrated against you. His fingers teased your entrance before he entered one finger, curving it upwards to hit the spot you didn't even know existed. A louder moan left your lips as he pumped one of his fingers in and out of you before adding another one. You looked down at him to see all of the dirty things he was doing to you. Right as you looked down at him you noticed that his eyes were already focused on you, observing every breath, moan, and whimper you made under his touch. 

"Shit, I think I'm going to cum, fuck, Josh, don't stop," You gasped as you felt the familiar feeling beginning to spiral in your stomach. You threw your head back and let out a series of moans. Before you could even feel the release of your climax, Josh halted all of his movements, removed his fingers, and stood up. His hands cupped your face before planting a slow kiss on your lips. You could taste yourself against him before he pulled away and planted a small kiss on the tip of your nose. 

"How about some wine, yeah?" Josh smirked as you stared at him in disbelief. Was he seriously just about to leave you like this?

"W-what the fuck?" That was all you could manage to say. You genuinely were at a loss for words. What the fuck is this?

Josh walked over to the back of his car and grabbed a couple of blankets that he had mentioned he had and started to set them up as you just sat on the hood of his car in disbelief. As he sat down on the blankets he began to take the wine and glasses out of the basket. 

You hopped off the hood of the car and sat down next to Josh as he poured some wine for the both of you. He handed you yours first as you glared at him and you pretty much chugged the glass from frustration. Not that it was something you shouldn't get pissed about, but you were livid. 

"What's the matter, mama?" Josh had a stupid grin on his face, knowing exactly what he was doing to you. You grabbed the bottle of wine from his hands and poured yourself another glass, drinking this one just as fast as the other.

"Oh nothing, just having the worst experience of getting denied what was probably going to be the best orgasm of my entire life. What the fuck do you think is wrong Josh?" You shot at him. You rolled your eyes and faced the field and watched the way the flowers and grass swayed with the breeze. You felt one of his hands grab your jaw and he turned your head towards him.

"The best, eh?" He smirked and you couldn't help but roll your eyes again.

"At this point, make it the worst." You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. You made eye contact with Josh and he had a serious look on his face with one of his brows raised. You knew you hit a nerve. 

You felt one of Josh's hands wrap around your arm and pull you up, practically dragging you toward his car. He walked around to the front and pushed you down over the top of the hood of the car. You felt your dress bunch up around your hips and your arms were forced behind your back, leaving your chest and your head pressed up against the hood. Josh's lips attacked your heat again only for a moment before he gripped your dainty wrists with one of his hands. You heard the zipper of his jeans and knew he was lowering his jeans. He pushed them down to about the middle of his thighs and he teased your slick folds with the tip of his cock.

"Fuck Josh, please don't be a tease I hate that shit." You groaned. 

"Do you really deserve my cock so easily? Especially after your little tantrum?" Josh continued his antics and you rolled your eyes.

"It wasn't a tantrum, it's just bullshit that you-- oh fuck," It was only seconds after the words left your mouth that you felt him stretching you out and a long moan escaped your lips at his size. He was honestly bigger than you were expecting him to be.

Josh's pace started slow, giving you some time to adjust to him but it wasn't long before his thrusts became sharper and quicker. You so badly wanted to just run your hands all over his body and watch all of his movements but it didn't seem like it was going to happen since it didn't seem like he was going to let go of your wrists anytime soon.

"We'll see about this being the worst, mama," Josh whispered in your ear before sending another sharp thrust into you. A loud whimper left your mouth and your moans were almost becoming pornographic. He had a perfect rhythm going and it didn't seem he was going to let up anytime soon. His thrusts were intense and hard, not giving you any mercy. 

He let go of your wrists but one of his hands came up and wrapped itself around your throat. He didn't apply any pressure since he wasn't sure if you were okay with it but your next words nearly sent him over the edge.

"Choke me, Kiszka." 

His hand squeezed around your throat and you gasped at the feeling, a smile playing across your lips. You looked ahead at the field and you bit your lip almost hard enough to break the skin

Being choked was one of your favorite things but nobody could ever seem to do it right or they were just too scared to hurt you. You liked the pain and you didn't mind if you even had bruises, in the end, it was just a nice reminder of the time you had.

It was almost like he was reading your thoughts as you felt a hard smack across your ass, sending out another loud moan. Josh reached his free hand down and began rubbing fast circles on your clit. Tears brimmed your eyes from the feelings being so overwhelming. You were in a complete state of euphoria and if you could, you'd have this moment last a lifetime. 

Josh pulled your back against his chest and you brought your head back against his shoulder and tried your hardest to look at him. Your vision was slowly going in and out from him choking you, but somehow it was just even more arousing. His hand released from around your throat and you gasped for air, the stars that were clouding your vision starting to disappear.

"Such a good girl, " Josh groaned as he slowed his pace, trying to elongate the moment in any way that he could. His thrusts were still sharp and it was nearly perfect with every spot he was hitting.

"Oh my god." You gasped. As the familiar feeling of your climax started to bubble in your stomach, you could feel yourself tightening around him.

"Fuck, if you don't stop clenching around me I won't last much longer," Josh groaned as he threw his head back.

"Shit, please let me cum, Josh, please! I'm so close," You begged. Josh's movements sped up as you pleaded.

"Cum for me, darling," He whispered in your ear and that was all you needed before you exploded around him. You cried out his name as he kept moving quick circles on your clit, riding you through your orgasm.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum," Josh groaned and you could feel his thrusts getting sloppier.

"I want to taste you," You whined as you finally came to. You felt Josh pull out of you and you stood up before dropping to your knees. He was much bigger than you were anticipating. Your lips wrapped around his slick head and teased him before slowly sinking down on his length, your tongue running along the underside of him. You used your hand for the rest that you couldn't fit into your mouth and started to pick up your pace.

"Look at you and those pretty little lips around my cock," Josh hissed and his dirty words made you moan. You could feel him twitch and you just knew he was going to cum soon. You quickened your pace and played with his balls with your free hand, causing a loud moan to escape from him. You took his length as far back into your throat as you could which released an a loud groan from him. You looked up at him with innocent eyes which only seemed to weaken him.

"Shit, Y/N, I'm-," Josh groaned again and you felt his length twitch inside your mouth as the warm, salty liquid shot down the back of your throat. You continued to suck him off, trying to get every last little bit of him that you could. 

You pulled him out of your mouth with a 'pop' and licked a slow, teasing stripe against his length before standing to your feet. You grabbed onto Josh's arms since you were unsteady and he let out a small laugh.  Your dress fell back down hitting the middle of your thighs and Josh pulled up his boxers and jeans, adjusting himself. His hands came up and cupped themselves against both sides of your face before he placed a slow, passionate kiss against your lips. His tongue intertwined with yours slowly and you melted into his gentle touch.

"Let's get you home and cleaned up, yeah? Do you wanna come back to mine?" He whispered as he barely pulled away from you, noses touching.

"Only if I can get more of you," You whispered back, tangling your fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck and tugging back slightly to expose more of his neck before you started planting a mark on his jaw just below his ear. He let out a shaky breath and his hands gripped around your ass.

"Ready for round two already?" He smirked, letting you leave a mark on him. It was only fair since he left multiple on you.

"After that? I'll never get enough of you." You whispered in his ear before turning away to grab all of the belongings that you left a little way down the beach. Josh wasn't far behind you as he grabbed the blankets and shook off all of the sand before folding them up. You walked back to the car and he was quick to open the door for you before he got in himself. He put the keys in the ignition and his car purred to life. Before he started to pull away he leaned over a placed a firm kiss against your lips.

"How about we go back and I fuck you properly this time?" He whispered in your ear before tugging on your earlobe with his teeth. You faced him as a wicked grin flashed across his face and his eyes filled with lust. You bit your lip and nodded your head, leaving you at a loss for words.

After tonight, you were going to be absolutely wrecked. 

***

If you’d like to be added from my tag list please just comment or send me a message(:

Tag List: @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordierama @greta-van-chaos

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

Proper noun: Ceetee Pronouns: It/Its* Common nouns: Girlthing, Tranny, Doll Adjectives: Trans, Mixed-Race, Aegosexual, Polyamorous, Plural Verbs: Game Design, Shitposting, Flirting

🖋 Last edited: 5/20/24

Unreasonably proud of that stupid grammar joke. Anyway yes, I'm Ceetee. While I am plural, I try to avoid the use of first person plural pronouns, except when we are specifically talking about our experiences with DID/Plurality. We also do our best to conceal who is fronting at all times (you can read more about that in the links about gender and plurality at the bottom of this post).

I'm a dork with very VERY strong opinions that I am VERY VERY vocal about. If you do not share those opinions, that is perfectly fine and probably to be expected. Just know that I am very obnoxious about them, so you will see them a lot. I have a lot of confidence on my stances and it is very unearned! That said I'm always happy to actually discuss this stuff, and also perfectly understanding of people unfollowing over it! Never feel like you HAVE to follow me for whatever obligation. Curate your feed, damn it!

For the pronoun exceptions mentioned above, It/Its are my pronouns for most people. If you aren't willing to call me that, well, I can't stop you. Use whatever you want, but I will absolutely be judging you for it. Though there are some exceptions. For people I'm intimate with (Romantic partners and people I'm in a QPR with), my pronouns are It/She. If you work for my HRT clinic my pronouns are She/Her because like fuck am I risking my HRT just because my doctor doesn't understand my gender. If you are a coworker my pronouns are He/Him and also I don't have a tumblr, please block me immediately, for both of our sakes.

I have a NSFW sideblog. You can probably guess its name pretty easily. If you can't, I'm happy to give it to anyone brave enough to DM me or send me an ask off anon. In fact, you can ask me basically anything about my life and I'll happily answer. I'm a pretty open book like that.

Rambles

I tend to ramble about various things. Usually when I do, I tag it as #text essay. Sometimes about gender and my views on it, but also just... stuff in general. Here is a list of some of the general stuff. Its usually just stupid pointless stuff, but its a good look into how my brain works.

The Darkspore Rant (Long)

Pokemon Picross Monetization Model

Movement in VR

Time is Fake as Hell

Fighters Should Have Magic

Where I Stand in Regards to AI Art

Identity stuff:

Bespoke Genders (Part 1)

On Detransition (Part 2)

Plurality (Part 2.5)

Plurality and Being Transgender (Part 3)

Fandom shit:

Pokemon Eggs, and the Fundamental Nature of the Pokemon Multiverse (Long)

List of FFXIV OCs (LONG. Its also a recap of 4 years of weekly FC RP)

Posts others have made but are very relevant to me and who I am:

Back When I Was A Boy (Not every trans femme used to be a boy, but I did and that is important to me)

The Scorpion and The Frog (I desperately need to get a tattoo of a scorpion and a frog. I can't read this without crying)

Tags

#text essay - As mentioned above, I use this for when my rambles go very very very long. The ones I like the most or feel are important enough I also add to this pinned.

#Zenos ♥ - For the FFXIV Character that I am super normal about (lying).

#dnd hate train - A tag that exists for blacklisting purposes at the request of a close friend. As a designer, I fucking HATE Dungeons and Dragons. I hate it a lot. And I talk a lot about how much I hate it.

#laugh rule - For that age old tumblr rule: "If it makes you actually genuinely Laugh Out Loud, you have to reblog it."

#peer reviewed tags - another, more modern tumblr rule. If I screenshot someones tags to share them, I add this tag to it.

#dudes rock - Essentially, just a bunch of guys doing stuff that is just 'boys being boys' in the fun sense and not the rapey sense, but also just a reminder that the world is better with these dudes in it, and a way for me to find happiness is the masculinity that made my childhood miserable.

#partner gushing - For when I am being GAY AS HELL about my partners, or reblogging something and going 'its because of one of them'

#talking to myself and #talking about myself - Conversations between me and my alters, and talking about my relationships with my alters, respectively. More details here.

I also just... ramble in the tags. A lot. I just add so much commentary in the tags. You will see A LOT of rambles.

[rancidpancakebatter]

This Post is About BLM and Tyre Nichols so Buckle The Fuck Up

I am a black person. I come from a small, rural town with two stop lights run by a railroad tycoon and "footloose" university. (It's a Christian school and among their vast restrictions is a rule that you can't dance unless at a wedding- hence "footloose"). In my experience growing up, I was the only Black American I knew who wasn't adopted by a rich white family.

My father entered my life when I was thirteen. Before then I was being raised solely by my very gentrified Mexican mother. I knew that I was black but not because I recognised that identity. It was because that is how everyone labelled me. I was not Mexican, I was not white, I was black. Anytime I celebrated my heritage people would grow uncomfortable because why would a black kid speak Spanish? Why would they bring homemade tortillas to lunch? Why would they have a quiñceanera? You are black, act like it.

Since having my father in my life- having his influence, seeing our culture, not through the characterized lens in the media but his- I would say I feel black now. That identity now comes from me, not others. But unfortunately, that growth, that journey, is seen as irrelevant.

I first learned that I was black on the playground in the first grade. A little girl asked me why my hair looked "that way"? At the time I had an afro. I told her I didn't know, it wasn't something I had thought about. She continued to question my appearance: my nose, my lips, my skin. When I wore box braids, years later, for the first time I was chased around that same playground. The children pulled at them; they told me I looked like Medusa. They had created a game in which they would freeze anytime I looked at them. This applied at recess, in the gym, in art class, during lessons, at lunch, in the halls, etc.

That is a very minor form of racism spurred on more by ignorance than hatred, but I have suffered from hatred as well. What I mean to say is I am no stranger to racism. So when I say that as a citizen of the US, I am afraid, I don't say that lightly. I have been stopped randomly by police late at night. I have been unjustly blamed for an altercation just because I was there, so I must have "aggravated the situation."

But the fear I feel is not for me. At the end of the day, I am perceived as a weak woman and I am really good at "white-passing" with my language and mannerisms. However, my father isn't. And he shouldn't have to be. He dresses like a "stereotypical thug" with sagging pants, chains, and durags. He looks nice, I think he looks rather handsome, but I have watched WASP moms cross the street as we walk past them.

It doesn't matter that he is the sweetest man alive. It doesn't matter that he is so crazy in love with his wife and posts every craft she makes on Facebook to brag to all of his friends and family. It doesn't matter that he looks at me like I single-handedly hung every star in the sky. It doesn't matter that he asks for screenshots of my ios theme every week when I change it just so he can tell me it looks pretty. It doesn't matter that he still makes sure that he makes enough food for all of us and freezes my portion so I can have it when I visit. It doesn't matter that despite being a boomer he has a trans son and a queer, non-binary "daughter" that he loves and supports with everything in him. What matters is he's black, and he's dangerous.

Black men are killed every day in the US at the hands of cops. This upsets me of course, but it hurts me personally as well. How many others have nightmares where they get a call from their mother to tell them their father was killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time? How many others see the headline "Cops killed another black man" and hold their breath as they scroll to see if it was their brother? How many others make sure to keep their hands in their jeans pockets and their hood off so they don't look as threatening. How many others were taught what to do when pulled over in a car before they learned how to turn the car on? How many others live in this reality?

I see the conversation around Tyre Nichols and it breaks my heart. He was nine years my senior with a wife and child. He was active in his community. He liked to skateboard. He was a lot like me. And he was brutally beaten and murdered. That's insane. That could have been me. That could have been my brother, or his. It could have been my father. And my heart breaks for his family. I respect them for the spotlight they are taking. The justice that they are demanding.

Recently one of his family members posted a video of him. They said that when the body cam footage was released that it was going to circulate. That his death was going to circulate. And they wanted to share a video of him living. And I think that's really beautiful. Often times we get swept up in our anger, our fear, and we forget momentarily that their life was not just this one instance. Tyre Nichols existed before this.

I will always be afraid of when I will have to do the same thing. When I will have to beg people to remember that my father, my brother, were so much more than just victims. My father is a chef, he is a kind neighbour, he is an amateur gardener. My brother is loved, doing well in his transition, a shoulder to cry on, and the life of the party. They are such beautiful and important people.

So, I beg you. Be angry. Protest. Riot. Make your voice heard. Help this family try and right a wrong that can never be brought to true justice. But don't forget who they're fighting for. Say his name. But also share his story. Not just the ending.

[sailorgundam308]

okay but you're right about the petite tav thing (also idk if you know but someone's lame ass "callout" post about you being a bully and how you'll never get commissions is circulating)

like in a game where you can create nearly anything with a tav it's boring as fuck to make them look copy pasted of every conventional girl irl. ive always thought that, it's why I can't read certain super popular fics in this fandom because the tav absolutely rips me out of any enjoyment (cough, the arrangement)

but it's not fair for people to be harassing you over your opinion, it's your blog if they don't wanna make themselves upset maybe they shouldn't be lurking on your page

It's what I think. I have no interest, never had, in any media, when a protagonist is the pretty standard petite girl. It doesn't resonate with me at all and, therefore, they come across as very boring to me.

About the post circulating about me, I know about it. It was made by 2 girls who didn't like when I said I don't like pairing Astarion with the aforementioned pretty petite tav type. They then devolved into, apparently, some sort of Alex Jones, calling into question my values as a person, made up what I said and whatnot. They've been flooding me with hate messages for a while, stopping short only of telling me to kill myself. But then, of course, I'm the bully in the story. lol

It's very much their problem. Anyone following me, reading what I say, knows what I stand for - and what I don't, cause I tend to say it pretty clearly.

And I agree with you, too: tumblr is a collection of personal blogs of people with differing opinions. Unless someone is attacking or harming a real person, or being an actual bigot, it's all a matter of thinking differently about things. And that's not an issue.

You'd think people who claim to be so inclusive would understand that not everyone has to agree on things - and that you shouldn't dig the internet for content that will piss you off because you feel like going on a moral rampage for the sake of feeling superior. You WILL find content to make you angry. Thing is, some of that will be justified. Some, apparently, will just be me saying im not into X type of pairing.

Sound's pretty easy to do, but some folks are actually pretty incredible in regards to the amount of effort they'll put to go after someone they (don't know) but decided they dislike.

One of the girls saying she "took a screenshot" of what I said is from a discord I'm also a member of, and I think she got jealous cause I only posted Karlach x Astarion art and they shipped him with a different character. The other one is just a hardcore harasser. I got all their hate messages saved. Maybe one day I'll post it so people can see what kind low level stuff they said to me. It was WILD.

In any case. I never deleted the post where I said I think Astarion doesn't look good with pretty cutesy girly tavs cause I DO think that, and there's nothing wrong with me saying it. I'm not talking about any real person, nor even any tav in particular. But people like to distort shit to make waves then feel morally superior.

Thankfully, my commissions are doing great! I don't beg anyone to hire me, and as with everything else online, no one is forced to anything - commission me or even interact with my blog. There is a block function here and I use it often - it works wonders.

Anyway, thanks for saying that. Truly. This whole thing was pretty upsetting at first, but I soon realized there was no conversation to be had with thesef people - they don't want to talk. They want to tear someone they don't know apart to feel superior and "win".

It's nice to know not everyone bought into the gaslighting shit these two (and probably now more ppl) are spouting.

:)

[hyperactivetransdrone]

You say you’re a nerd in your bio, but what are you a nerd about? Feel free to infodump.

I more Nerd off on my general account bc if I see like a single horny thing I get distracted lol

Anyways I'll start with the thing I've poured the most time into: Pokemon. I almost never make fakémon but I've made 2 so far: a Paradox pokemon Iron Queen and a legendary pokemon that's based on horror as a genre, other than that I have a pokedex list that even at font size 7 on Google docs (any smaller and it's illedgeable) it's like 14 pages, and at that size Google starts to lag, I've also done a full pokedex with stats and everything (not individual stats but base stat total) in a Google sheets and i had to split it into 2 sheets because over 500 pokemon pokemon spread over 4 mini sheets lags Google as well so I split it between 2 sheets with generations 1-4 on the first on and 5-9 on the second sheet.

This is a screenshot of the first generation from mobile, copy and paste most of that information for each form of each pokemon (at least ones with stat/type changes so for example partner Pikachu counts as a different form but not spiky eared pichu) and yeahhh it overwhelms Google a lot, I also have several boxes full of my favorite pokemon as well in pokemon ultra moon as well as maxed out the time in pokemon y, I don't yet have a Nintendo switch so I can't transfer those pokemon yet so that's a little sad but they just means I can still poke-amie them 🥰

I also play a lot of minecraft but there isn't much to talk about with that, same with batman Arkham, video games with little creativity and are very straight lined stories are difficult to really hyperfixate about because what are you going to say? And experience that everyone else has had? Now minecraft is not included in this but when you play alone there isn't much you can really talk about that excites you besides what projects you've done/are planning. I also enjoy mega man and am on summit c-side in celeste (with every other stage up to then beaten all a-sides beaten, all b-sides beaten, all but summit and core c-sides beaten and have not beaten where capitalism has not corrupted... THE MOOOON (I understand that's not the meme but that's the level)

Now in terms of non digital media (excluding music we'll get to that) i like to play magic thr gathering, i don't like their current moto of "power creep so "people will keep buying" even tho people still buy our product and since Commander is popular we'll make all of our products for that" so I just make theoretical decks online, mostly ones that are themed because it's fun making pirate themed decks and things like that. Another game I'm really obsessed with is Exploding Kittens it's really fun and I've gotten every expansion up to this point and yahh I just really enjoy that game. Otherwise if I know people irl I try to play rpgs as I have a BUNCH of dnd minis I've painted, he'll I got a big dragon for Christmas a few years back and here's what he looks like:

He looks REALLY COOL and I realize I did the fire wrong but, Oh well, Too late it's fine. I'm also making a Kirby rpg and a Mario party board game but I REALLY need to get to work on it as I haven't been working on them. I also love writing stories and am currently writing a book, I'm studies character development from YouTube videos to ensure I don't accidently write static characters as the main characters but I LOVE the concepts I made for it I also used to like reading but my mother kept mocking me for "reading erotica" books when 1 it was before the author started making them kinky 2 I didn't fucking KNOW they were erotic so I stopped reading because she kept making fun of me and pretty much just telling me (indirectly) that it was gross that I was reading that stuff even though I didnt know that's what it was

In terms of music I love dragonforce and will go off on how cool some of their music is and also like... ok there's too many that I enjoy to list off but just know I like metal rock and pop (some pop modern pop is veerrrryyy generic and bad) and hell there are stupid like rap Chord thing that i hear CONSTANTLY and I just hate that stupid Mario ds mini game instructions sounding music that fucking everyone is listening to because now even MUSIC has gotten 'safe' these days and i really hate it

Other than all of that what I'm needing about may change from day to day or week to week depending on what I've been doing

Oh one last note: I do also enjoy hypnosis and dronification as non kinks as well has dronification is just... SO helpful i can't focus for the life of me which is why I still don't have my damned drivers license or even past the first page of my book yet and dronification pretty much FORCING you to focus on things would be a LIFE SAVER and hypnosis for a similar reason I have a really difficult time truly relaxing due to my living situation so hypnosis helps me relax more, hell I have some trust issues too thanks to being overly cautious in my childhood so it really helps with a lot of things although my biggest trust problem is I either don't trust you at all or I trust you too much lol

[kassiekole22]

Breakfast For Two, Mainly For One

Picture lightly edited by me.

Pairing: Chris x Ashley Description: Chris wakes up early to cook Ashley breakfast. The only problem: he has never actually cooked before... Warnings: This Is Probably One Of The Sweetest Fics I Have Ever Written So Be Warned: This Contains A Deadly Amount Of Fluff. Word Count: 1.2k A/N: I haven't written a non-x reader fic in FOREVER! Like, the last one I ever written was for Jalim and I can't even remember the last time I wrote for that ship. This was completely a spur of the moment thing but writing it made me so happy, so there will definitely be more Chrashley content coming from me in the future. 💖 (Also, I've begun using a grammar and punctuation checker to make sure I'm writing correctly, but I don't know if it's a legit site, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. 🙂) Main MasterList: 🖤 TagList: @lorebite, @yellowroses-world, @house-of-kolchek, @koexchange, @yesitsloulou, @mistmoose, @jasonexo, @mornandil, @fortune-fool02, and @raven-the-cryptid. (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! 🖤)

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Chris's eyes slowly began to open, but he quickly closed them again as a yawn escaped through his lips. The room was lit with an orange hue due to the early morning sun peaking through the half-drawn curtains. He turned his head to read the alarm clock — that had been shut off since it was the weekend — but everything was blurry. He reached to the bedside table to retrieve his glasses and put them on to read that it was 8 am. He looked down at the lovely little redhead in his arms — the love of his life — curled up at his side and still fast asleep.

He watched her for a few minutes, taking in all the details of her face and took note of how her pretty eyelashes would flicker every now and then as she dreamed. Remembering what he had planned for the day, Chris carefully wiggled out of Ashley's grasp and snuck out of the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him before heading to the kitchen.

Knowing that Ashley was a fairly sound sleeper, Chris knew that he didn't have to worry about noise once he got to the kitchen. He took a pan out of the drawer and set it on the stove before going to the fridge to retrieve the package of bacon he had bought the night before on his weekly grocery run. He laid a few strips on the pan before turning the burner on.

The bacon was tricky for him. He had only really made cereal for breakfast when he and Josh shared an apartment in their early twenties. And Ashley became the cook of the house when he had moved in with her after Josh had found a place of his own. But today he wanted to do something special for Ashley — something to show her how much he loved and appreciated her.

Once he had finished struggling through the bacon, he then went to the cupboard and took out some pancake mix before pulling up a screenshot on his phone of a pancake recipe that he found on some 'cooking for beginners' website.

He followed the recipe as carefully as he could, making sure to get everything as correct as possible — although that plan failed when he couldn't find the measuring cups. So, he decided to eyeball it if needed. Sure, the mix looked a bit too runny and lumpy by the time he was done, but he was sure it would be fine.

While he waited for the pancake to be ready to flip, he decided to set the table. He went to the closet and pulled out a table cloth that he had secretly bought the day prior and put it on the table — before setting two plates and some cutlery down for the two. He even put some yellow lilies — Ashley's favorite flower — in a vase for the centerpiece.

Everything was looking perfect. The next thing on the list was to finish the food— "Shit!" Chris cursed when he realized that he had left the pancake on the stove for way too long. He ran into the kitchen and quickly flipped the pancake over to see that it was black on the other side. He sighed while deciding that he would eat that one because to him, Ashley deserved better.

A few more burnt pancakes later and many failed air flips as well, resulting in pancake mix on the floor and the ceiling, Chris was finally done making pancakes and decided to make some eggs as well. Luckily for him, eggs were much easier than pancakes and didn't take long at all. He had just finished placing the food on the plates when Ashley stumbled into the kitchen while rubbing her eyes.

She removed her hands from her eyes and they widened at the sight before her. There stood Chirs — with a nervous smile on his face — waiting to see her reaction. Trying hard not to scrunch up her nose at the awful smell, Ashley smiled kindly at her new husband and walked over to press a sweet kiss on his cheek. She then hugged him tightly while burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"Thank you, Chris." She murmured — her voice being muffled by his chest. This made Chris's nervous smile turn into a genuinely happy one.

"You're welcome, Ash. You deserve it." He then chuckled at his words. "Actually — you deserve better. I'm sorry it's so bad. I'm no gourmet chef at all."

She giggled as she pulled away from him just enough to peer up at his blue eyes with her green ones. She didn't care if he burnt every single crumb, she was still grateful for his efforts. No man had ever treated her as kindly as Chris did.

"It's ok, Chris — Really. I'm sure some of it is edible." She joked and he laughed, wanting to smack his forehead with the palm of his hand because of his stupid mistakes. "Seriously—" She then looked at him with pure love in her eyes. "It means the world to me. Thank you, Chris."

She stood up on her toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, which he returned while softly placing his hands on each side of her face to caress her cheeks and to keep the kiss lingering for a bit longer. Once they broke the kiss, Chris leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.

"So, shall we eat?" Ashely asked him — her voice barely above a whisper as her lips turned up into that little smile that he adored so much.

"Nah. That would be abuse if I made you eat that." He joked and she laughed. "How about cereal? Now I'm a master at that!"

"Oh, for sure! I don't think I have tried your famous Lucky Charms mixed with Fruit Loops and Frosted Flakes." She thought about it for a minute and then shook her head. "Nope. I haven't."

"Hmmm… Letting you try my famous Lucky Fruit Flakes? That's a big step in our relationship." He said in an overly serious tone as he parted from her and went to the cupboard to get two bowls while she began to clear the table. "Do you think we can handle that kind of commitment?"

She pretended to think about it for a moment while chewing on the inside of her cheek, "Hmmm, I don't know. We've been through a lot together but this is something else…"

"Guess there's only one way to find out," Chris said as he came back to the table holding the two bowls and all three cereal boxes, nearly dropping them all in the process. Ashley chuckled and took the bowls from him so he could set the cereal boxes down on the table.

"Hey, Chris." Ashley spoke softly and Chris turned to look at her with nothing but love and adoration for the girl within his blue eyes.

"Yeah, bean?" She tried not to chuckle at his little nickname for her. He had accidentally called her that on their second date when a memory of her dropping a bunch of coffee beans on the floor popped into his head and he had stuck with it ever since.

"I love you." She murmured as she wrapped her arms around him, taking in the warmth of his body as she held him close.

"I love you, too." He whispered back before wrapping his arms around her to complete the embrace while kissing the top of her head.

He had always known that he had loved Ashley but, at this moment, he knew that she was definitely the love of his life and nothing would ever change that.

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[professorspork]

u should like!! toootally drop blake and yang outfit references for ur newsbees au. for like. research purposes

!!! okay I can't tell if you're asking this for fanart reasons (EVERYONE SHOULD FEEL VERY FREE TO DO THAT) or for spank bank "my thirst requires an accurate theater of the mind" reasons (VALID) but

this makes me UNHINGED and i plan to be SO THOROUGH so THANK YOU FOR ASKING

i have put this under a cut to spare you all but i think you should click on it and admire the gilded age urchin chic

first of all, let me say that Newsies Are Beautiful. They have never met two clashing patterns they didn't want to combine and I think they are perfect in every way

that said

the classic Jack look could certainly use some tailoring before it's truly ready for the Yang prime time

these numbered fellas give us a better place to start when it comes to I WANT MY NEWSIES TO NOT BE SWIMMING IN CLOTHES TWO SIZES TOO BIG YES I KNOW THE VERITAS OF THEM SCROUNGING FOR WHATEVER BUT ALSO. THIRST.

Fella 1 is a pretty bang-on Yang and you can tell that was his intention because he's growing out his hair, bless. sleeves rolled to show arm, shirt unbuttoned scandalously to show cleavage, open vest, neat cap, high socks. the lower half does lose points for the striped socks that remind me of the Wicked Witch of the East's feet sticking out and the fact that he's clearly in tap shoes as opposed to work boots like his friend Fella 3

Fella 2 gets EXTRA sock points for the argyle and the vest-but-no-collar combo which is very Nora. He also has a neat cap, which Blake always does because she's hiding her ears.

Fella 3 has a sloppy cap but is otherwise a bang-on Blake; kempt and tidy in ways Yang never is even though they are essentially wearing the exact same thing. Blake knows how to button buttons and Yang pretends she forgets every day

Fella 4's rocking the henley and suspenders combo which serves any member of our cast, a fucking classic

Fella 5 is wearing a tie he is trying so hard he wants to look nice at work, 100% a Jaune move

sir that-- that's not how crutches are supposed to-- SIR--

this Crutchie exhibits excellent Newsie styling in a very Yang color palette. high socks, mixing of patterns, rolled sleeves; excellent. the slightly fancier waistcoat, actually buttoned, isn't something Yang would go for but certainly wouldn't be amiss on Blake, Ruby, or Velvet

Ruby also, of course, wears a signature red scarf instead of her cloak:

like her scarf and hat just absolutely dwarf her, she's WEE SMOL

above we see our previous example Crutchie not leaping through the air, and his outfit remains exemplary but for the backwards cap, which I shan't abide. the Jack to his left-- what with his WIDE open shirt, tight undershirt, rolled sleeves, and suspenders, is very Yang.

good Yang looks can also mean THE SHORTEST SLEEVES EVER, TO SHOW OFF THE GUNS:

both excellent choices, and of course our lower fella (TURN THAT CAP AROUND YOUNG MAN) has got his bandana going, which is Quite Yang

all the guys in the background there are gold too tbh

look at this king in this fashion pose but also YEAH WHY NOT BANDANAS ON THE ARMS BANDANAS EVERYWHERE the yang xiao long story

^^ this outfit, on the other hand, is pretty exactly spot-on for Blake immediately post haircut/makeover

Weiss, I'm sure you've already guessed, is a Classic Katherine:

she's buttoned-up, she's fancy, her shit matches and she's the only one in a skirt.

the only thing where my brain gets REALLY SPECIFIC is the finale so uh. spoiler warning I guess for screenshots of the Newsies film and vague references to a plot resolution if you're reading the AU without having watched it

but the finale looks are ICONIC and non-negotiable

button shirt OVER henley OVER bandana and nothing's buttoned? suspenders on but hanging loose from the hips? hell yes.

i actually even managed to make that dirt smudge on David's tummy plot-relevant to Blake and that was completely subconscious and I didn't realize I did it until looking up these screenshots but there you have it. and by this point Weiss gets to be a little more loose and dressed-down, a la Sarah

in conclusion they're in love look at those heart eyes oh my god