#i can spiritually feel this fucking drawing like dude same-

[soundleer]

Draw Jevin stress eating cap n crunch

okii :DD 👍

m o o d y 💢

[wazzappp]

Alrighty my dudes buckle up

GHOST RIDER D&D AU

also WOE. ART STYLE CHANGE BE UPON YE.

First things first thank you to my beloved mutual @moosemonstrous, who was basically the brains behind the operation I basically just wanted an excuse to draw tiefling Robbie and then got smacked in the face with an awesome story way beyond what I had ever thought of with KILLER fucking lore to match <3.

While I usually like to start with Robbie when introducing an AU, we're going to unfortunately have to start with Eli. A man who fucked up so monumentally that the kinda sorta god he's supposed to be serving went 'Bitch??? How about NO.' and humbled him faster than my DM can say 'roll perception'.

Ok I'm getting ahead of myself. Eli is pretty much the same personality wise as he is in canon. Insecure and desperate for power/control. He grew up surviving with Beto by doing jobs for the Myriad crime syndicate. Somewhere along the way he started serving his patron, Desirat, the twilight phoenix, in exchange for her power.

Im just going to directly quote what moose said about Desirat cause its phrased WONDERFULLY:

"Desirat, The Twilight Phoenix - companion and mount of Asmodeus during an ancient war, was torn from her master and captured by uppity mages. They were eventually killed, but she remained chained under a mountain, creating weird thermal phenomena in the area. Her sanity fractured in isolation so she thinks herself divine, and she lends through dreams and visions to those who 'carry a seed of fiery vengeance'. She now speaks to the minds of those who lie spurned and angry at night, calling them to unlock their inner flame and let Desirat aid them in their vengeance."

Desirat chose Eli as her champion to free her. She believed his faults would make him easy to manipulate for her purposes.

But eventually Beto wanted to settle down, and Eli refused to (to quote moose) 'Stop that warlock bullshit that EVERYONE SAID will get him in trouble'. And the brothers separate. During that time, Eli gets it in his head that he can steal more power from her by becoming a Litch. Great! In order to become a Litch he needs to have the most important person to him engage in a willing life sacrifice. Not great.

So he finds Beto and tries to get him to oblige to his sacrifice, and while there might have been a time where Beto might have laid down his life for his brother, he wont anymore. He has a family now. People who rely on him who AREN'T Eli. Unfortunatly, Eli is PISSED by this and kills Beto even though he isn't a willing sacrifice. Eli figures 'Whose really gonna care? A life is a life right?'

DESIRAT cares. She basically obliterates Eli on the spot and stores his lifeforce for later purposes.

(all stat sheets curtosy of the great Moose. Also I feel obligated to mention there was a scary moment during the art process where Eli looked like a beautiful butch lesbian. Horrifying.)

After Eli's spiritual, physical, and magical bitch slap, Desirat starts looking down his bloodline for a NEW champion. Lucky her, Robbie is RIGHT THERE. Protective of his brother, a strong sense of justice even from a young age, a hatred of when things aren't fair; he's PERFECT. She has plans for this one. Eli was a good test run. But she has IMPROVEMENTS planned for Robbie.

So Desirat waits until Robbie is old enough and strong enough to serve her purposes. In that time, Julianna goes out adventuring to get more coin so she can pay for Gabe's treatments of Greater Restoration and just. General food and water and general supplies. But she doesn't come back. She was responsible though and hired someone who was willing to take what she could offer to take care of the boys. Gabe still believes that she's still out there and trying to come back to them. Robbie thinks she's either bailed on them for a life of adventure or dead.

Around when Robbie turns 18, Desirat puts her plans into effect. Seeing as tieflings carry innate magical abilities (most commonly thaumaturgy, hellish rebuke, and darkness) it would be far more advantageous for her champion to be a tiefling than human. In the span of about 4 months, Robbie goes through a rather drastic transformation.

His fingernails harden, then blacken, then sharpen. Awful pressure builds in his skull that is only relived when the beginnings of horns break through his skin. A similar process begins with a lump forming at his tail bone and eventually bursting out into a long pointed tail. His canine teeth fall out and grow back in sharper and longer. His eyes cloud over to black and yellow, all the while his skin reddens and forms hard ridges on his arms, ribs and spine.

To say this is disorienting and painful is an understatement. Not to mention how it changes how the other people around the village look at him (not to mention how it changes how he looks at himself). Even though the stigma around tieflings isn't as strong as it once was, it eventually causes Robbie to be out of a job. So he decides to sell the house, pack up his things, prepare schooling money for his brother and move to the city where more opportunities will hopefully await.

GABE!!! THE LITTLE ADHGH. Idk why but I got extreme cute aggression when drawing this version of him fdjkslaf.

Gabe still has CP like he does in canon, but with the magical advantages of ✨Greater Restoration✨ he can generally function pretty well. He still gets tired sometimes though, so he carries around a walking staff as an aid just in case he needs one (also he can go whack whack. at least thats what Robbie tells him when he gets a little self conscious carrying it around).

Robbie has saved up enough money for Gabe to get a months worth of schooling at the Dawn Father Chantry in the city so he can learn to cast Greater Restoration on himself. Gabe's recent growth spurt has been causing him to need more and more frequent healings, and the Chantry in their home village of Hill Rock has been less and less obliging as of late (partially due to Robbies recent uh... condition. not that anyone would dare say it to his face of course).

Some extra fun doodles with expressions and thinking about how Desirat might look and interact with Robbie. I love when gods have a kind of twisted love for their special chosen people (plus some fun transformation horror cause its ✨me✨ were talking about what did you expect).

Also I really REALLY liked that top left sketch and got the rendering itch so I had some fun and painted it in.

Theres a whole fuckin. Second post to this au all lined up cause Moose when HAM on this. But its gonna take some more character designs so I'll need just a little time. but this will not be the last you see of this lol I promise <3

[poetandwolf]

cw-abuse, spiritual abuse, ect.

some bullshit that had happened to me, and I kind of feel like sharing it may help someone else and let them know they aren’t alone.

In 2000 - there are so many fucked up layers to this shit show. But we will just call the main abuser E.

She was convinced I was casting spells on her and that Alhazad was out to kill her (I mean... well. No wait, at that point he wouldn't be trying to do anything and anything he did do after the fact she brought on herself.) But she had no idea who he really was. No one did. They just thought he was this black haired witchy dude.

But she HATED me and I have no fucking idea why she loathed me. She basically copied my identity. When we first met she was this Straight Christian Girl who listened to R&B and Country. She wanted Trystan to love her- and she saw how much Trystan loved me (major love triangle here)  So slowly but surly she was this weird copy of me. She dressed like I did, all of sudden believed in the spirits and was obsessed with Wild ARMs. She started listening to the same music, then started drawing furries it was so fucking bizarre looking back. I didn't see it when I was a kid.

Back then I was on the fence about being trans she she fucking attacked that- claiming I astrally did this, and did that, and ect. I'd get calls from her pretending to be Jack/Garrett yelling at me for attacking her--- like.. what? lmao. Jack was my f/o-dad :c and honestly the relationship never recovered.. But I just wanted to hang out with Trystan and gain Garrett’s approveal and so I had this idea I could just pretend I was a new spirit.

and let me tell you.

if I showed any signs of being the real 'me' she would drill me. I had to follow a script. I had to act like various cartoon characters or else I'd get my ass beat. People call Alhazad sadistic and a horrible person- this bitch.

”Why didn’t you leave?” don’t you dare victim blame me. I believed the gods were going to *kill me* at this point in my life. I was so alone and brainwashed, and loneliness will fuck up your better judgement.

On June 9th in 2000 some coward ratted me out to her, that I had been me all along, and she flipped the fuck out. And... that seriously gave me some ptsd I always get scared on that night that the knife will come back into my back. It’s just... someone I trusted so deeply put me in what I perceived to be a great danger.. and I never got over it. Just trusting people unconditionally and then having your whole world ripped out from under you. Never knowing when it can and will happen again. Humans commit some of the most abhorrent things to one another.

This psychopath makes in-game Alhazad look like a saint. I was 16 at the time, and very autistic and YOUNG and just so badly wanted a found family because my real one was in pieces.

[healertm]

posts my headcanons about high priestess lyra and her abilities and then disappears again (its a read but i promise its worth it, i worked v hard on developing this and i lurv it a lot)

ok so when deciding what kind of powrs i was gonna give her i knew i wanted them to be mental related. so like, all in your head kind of deal. so to name a few basic powers of hers -she can like make you hear shit,  put sounds in your head like whispers or the exact opposite very loud horrific screaming -kind of like phantom touch? so like non existent touches to a person that they can feel. not as much as a real touch but enough to make them agitated -my personal favorite: my take on dream walking so dream walking is where she’s basically at her prime. since the dream realm and the spirit realm are on the same hierarchical level in my eyes, and she draws most of her powers from spiritual and mental beings, she’s pretty fucking powerful in dream state. a downside is she never really feels truly rested because when she falls asleep her mind is still constantly working, its not really sleep. but she has her own little dream place she chills in

(its just a small open patch in a dense forest where the moonlight shines through, its always night there and the sky is v pretty, theres also a little creek and a few flowers she grew in her many nights there)

but dream walking allows her to invade other’s minds. it happens when, kind of like that rumor ppl say where if you think of someone hard enough before bed you’ll dream of them. yeah so that happens. so she can be in people’s dreams that way and manipulate them to a pretty massive extent.

(if multiple ppl think of her at once it kind of like fucks her up because she’s having to concentrate and focus on an endless number of possibilities in different scenarios. i would say she would be able to handle at most three. not like more than three people would ever think of her -sobs-).

so like she’s able to do things like will things into existence, altar something physically (like how wanda removed that dudes mouth) and the best part is that she’s always naked while doing it. bc witches are very much naturalists so it would make sense that in the place she’s most comfortable in, she would be nude. the whole “willing shit into existence” also works in terms of things like teleportation of sorts. so like for example if she wanted to teleport from a desk to a bed, by a very dumbed down explanation, she would think about sitting on the bed really hard. i mean like, what it would feel like to sit on the bed, what she would be looking at while she was sitting there, how she would be sitting, how the bed would sink under her, etc. like the most vivid description ever.

and the dream realm is also cool, i love developing it. so far i have this is how it works: so it can be anywhere, obviously, but the dreamer has to… basically know. so for example if you had a dream about your room, it could very much be your room. but this isnt just a normal dream, its like a freaky very lucid dream she can mess around with. so more often than not there’s situations where she’ll be in someone’s dream and something like a book will exist but it will be blank. because the dreamer doesn’t know exactly what is on the pages, they just know the book is there

alternatively if they forgot about the book it wouldn’t be there type deal

and it works kind of like render distance. so in cases of overactive imaginations, usually dreams are more filled and more realistic. but for others a dream may just be a room or a location in the middle of a fucking void.

she can also be in someone’s dream before they even fall asleep, if they’re actively thinking of her. she just kind of chills in their groovy little mind space until they fall asleep and end up there as well. most people’s mind space happens to be their room because it’s something they don’t have to think about really hard to know exists. it’s also where most people fall asleep at. but it varies from person to person and could just be a dark, ominous room empty of everything but a flickering light in the middle of it. (those people are often scary to deal with, and also really, really boring most of the time).

[fansids]

Sketch Request for @sketching-shark

I have a lot to say about this one. I'm putting it all below the cut:

Let me start by saying this is the last of the three requests I got before I updated my rules, and I am not drawing a background like this for the others. Ya'll already know how I feel about backgrounds.

And sorry this took so long but I'll explain why below

-

Sketching-shark...buddy...friend...my dude, why you gotta put me back on my bullshit???

"idk if this is something you'd be interested in imagining/portraying-"

DUDE, DO YOU KNOW THE SELF-RESTRAINT I PLACED ON MYSELF TO MAKE THE SHADOW OF THE KING AU CANON COMPLIANT????

I WAS BARELY HOLDING BACK, I HAVE SO MANY CONCEPTS IN MY FOLDERS I WASN'T LETTING MYSELF USE, BUT THESE MONKIES HAVE WORMED THEIR WAY INTO MY HEART AND MIND, HOW DARE-

FUCK IT, THIS IS EXPANDING INTO THE LEGO MONKIE KID TIMELINE. AND I'M SHOVING THESE TWO INTO IT.

I WANT TO HUG YOU AND SHAKE YOU AT THE SAME TIME.

-

Firstly, this drawing was an EXPERIENCE. I knew about the four spiritual primates, but the other two are mentioned once each in the entirety of jttw. I spent quite a bit of time trying to find like ANY other information about like what they're intended to represent/symbolize in jttw, but I came up pretty much empty. Though I did find out that they can also be translated to be called the "The Four World-Wrecking Monkeys."

Anyway, meet Cháng-bì Yuán [left] and Mǎ hóu [right], aka the Long-Armed Ape and Red-bottomed Horse Monkey. I really hope their names translated the way I wanted them to.

I have spent so many hours trying to figure out their species and designs.

I originally intended to design Cháng-bì off of an extinct species of gibbon, but I was unable to find any reconstructions or artistic renditions of any of the three extinct species, so I decided to leave Cháng-bì's specific species vague.

Mǎ hóu on the other hand was far more complicated. Some translations called her a bare-bottomed ape, or horse monkey, and others said baboon. I have no idea what a "horse monkey" is and my searches didn't yield much. It definitely didn't help that baboons are not native to Asia. I decided to make her a gelada, cause they live in grasslands and eat grass which is kinda horse-like I guess? They also have these gorgeous manes and lion-like tails. (Have you seen their teeth? That shit gave me nightmares as a kid)

Cháng-bì's clothing gave me a bit of trouble. I know gibbons have long arms, but drawing them is so weird since my brain tells me she's heavily disproportionate. I covered her arms with sleeves both because I like the look, and it helps me ignore her arm length.

I looked up a lot of different styles of hanfu before settling on this one for Cháng-bì. I actually finished this pic like two days ago, but I went back and completely redesigned her hanfu cause I really didn't like it. I don't think this will be her final look, same for Mǎ hóu. I have a number of issues with both of their clothing. Cháng-bì's collar and embroidery looks off. And do me a favor and pay as little attention to Mǎ hóu's armor as humanely possible. But this gives me a pretty good starting point.

I am not the best at clothing design, as you've probably noticed by now...

I can't find much information on them outside of their one mention in jttw. I'm not expecting that they themselves appear anywhere, but like what do they mean?? What do they represent? What would be proper powers to give them? Cause currently Cháng-bì's possible abilities sound the most terrifying.

Guys, I need answers, I need information. Or ideas or something. I am not knowledgeable enough in the Chinese mythos to plan these two out the way I want to. I have a very vague idea about their pasts and personalities, but nothing I'm comfortable with solidifying.

Any form of help or resource is very welcome.

Overall, this was a pretty fun mini project. I even got to draw a protective SWK.

[trixree]

i love that little fma/clone wars crossover drabble doublet you did, i so badly wish i understood what over half of it means but i understood enough to feel like al would from his perspective

It is a beautiful day in the country of Amestris, 1914, and you are Fuher King Bradley.

Your Very Robust Military (see also: Imperalism) boasts a selective State Alchemist program which funds scientists' pursuits to their hearts' content, so long as the military is able to call upon them to serve.

Now, alchemy is kind of like science meets magic and face-fucked it with a cool aesthetic. Basically, Anything Can Happen, the laws of physics, chemistry, and nature are yours to bend as you please. Draw a little Science Circle and follow the Law of Equivalent Exchange (something cannot be obtained unless something of equal value is given; basically, you can't have an unbalanced equation) and BAM! SCIENCE!

This is Colonel Roy Mustang, who has this Science Circle on his hand (it's called a "transmutation array" but science circle just sounds better) and uses it + a spark from this lighter to make FIRE!!!

In order to become a STATE ALCHEMIST (a science baddie funded by the hyper militarized state government) one must demonstrate ones' novel skills and demonstrate qualifiations. So here YOU are, Fuher King Bradley, highest office in the land, watching the State Alchemist Exams.

And in walks A GODDAMN TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD.

There is no way I can do the sheer absurdity of this moment any justice, so you just need to watch this two minute clip and then come back, okay? (Promise me you'll come back anon, cause we aren't done.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzdRXA1uiNc

Some things to Note:

1. This child did not use a transmutation array. This is, for all intents and purposes, basically impossible.

2. This is a child.

3. This child just lunged at the KING with a WEAPON and said, "Damn, you really have some holes in your security, dude."

You know how that kid said, "Yeah, I lost my arm in the war with the East?" Little bastard was lyyiiiiing!!! Remember that law of equivalent exchange thing? Where you can't obtain anything unless something of equal value is given? WELL. OUR BABY CHAOS BOY HERE AND HIS YOUNGER BROTHER ARE PRODIGIES. AND THEY TRIED TO USE ALCHEMY TO BRING THEIR MOTHER BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Spoiler alert: that did not work.

Additional note: this is considered "human transmutation", which is so fucking taboo it's basically just straight sinning.

Little brother, Alphonse, lost his entire body. Big brother, Edward, our baby chaos "lemme attack the fuher real quick" boy, lost his leg. And then, realizing that his little baby brother was GONE, sacrificed his ARM to bind his brother's soul to a suit of armor, pictured below.

Edward here wants to be a state alchemist (which is no challenge, really, because he and his brother both are fucking PRODIGIES, the real challenge is learning how to walk again hahaha oopsie, -1 leg, -1 arm and also keeping the Science Crimes Against God and Man that they did a secret) because he wants that SWEET SWEET MILITARY MONEY to find a way to get his brother's body back (and also his limbs, I guess, but Al is his priority for... obvious reasons).

Anyways.

My AU with the Clone Wars takes place AFTER the events of the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood series (NOT FMA 2003, we don't talk about her) once Alphonse here has his flesh-and-blood body back.

My premise is, basically, post-series the brothers are like "lets go to space for Science Reasons" and then they do that.

I am making the Force and alchemy kind of the same thing in a hand-wavey way. Like, here's a terrible analogy for you:

A monk (Jedi) observes and understands that Gravity (ie., the Force in this shitty analogy) is a thing that acts in a certain way. They attribute gravity to their god/spirituality/Universe. "This is how it is because the Universe wills it" or whatever. The Alchemist observes Gravity, uses math and physics to quantify and understand it, and experiments with it until they can break it and put it back together again Better.

There's a lot of context stuff that you're missing with this general overview, like, precisely the sort of things that the Elric brothers know from their own experiences in-series as well as context for why they might see a massive cloning operation intended to produce an army and had a Trauma Response, among other things. But this is my quick-and-dirty guide to FMAB.

And really, I cannot recommend ENOUGH that anyone who hasn't seen this series immediately go watch it right now. Yes, imo it is better than One Piece. In my humble opinion, this is The Single Best Anime out there. Nothing compares for me. Like, really, it's just on an entirely different level. The pacing is perfect, the story is beautifully crafted, the characters will break your heart a thousand and one ways, and the soundtrack is the best out there. It has perfect moments of levity and then soul crushing moments of horror and tragedy. It's about scientific ethics; it's about Imperalism; it's about human nature; it's about God and Truth; it's about loss; it's about love; it's about brotherhood.

It's the best fucking thing you'll ever watch.

[4ragon]

oh can we please hear the magatama essay??

Oh boy oh boy, let’s go

Ahem

How to Lie to the Magatama

An essay by JJsADragon

Unlocking Psyche-Locks with the Magatama is a really fun mechanic throughout the Ace Attorney series. It’s introduced in Justice for All when Pearl charges the Magatama Maya gifts to Phoenix with spiritual energy. She describes it thusly: “This is the power of the Magatama. Only you can see these "Psyche-Locks", Mr. Nick… The more someone wants to hide their secret, the more locks you will see. If it's only one, I think you can easily unlock it.” 

Basically: If someone has a secret they don’t want to share, you have to present in-game evidence and break the locks. Things get a little more complicated with the introduction of Black Psyche-Locks, but the general gist of it stays the same. Someone has a secret they don’t want to tell you, and you can unlock that secret with evidence.

This, I believe, is fundamentally wrong.

Why do I think that? Well, I always really like picking apart these mechanics, both as in-game mechanics and how they would work in the real world. In particular, I think the most interesting way to see how something works is to figure out its shortcomings. What does and doesn’t set off Apollo’s bracelet? Why doesn’t Athena notice The Phantom’s whole deal? And, more to the point, when does the Magatama straight up get things wrong?

There are several moments I want to focus on. We have seen the Magatama fail several times throughout the series. Or, to clarify, we have seen at least one time when locks should have appeared where they did not, and several times where the chains did appear and the answers uncovered were either incomplete or just straight-up incorrect.

So, let’s find out how and why the Magatama fails us. First up: 

The False Negative: Farewell, My Turnabout

Fortunately, I think this one is the easiest one to understand. The Magatama has one very clear false negative in Justice for All: Farewell, My Turnabout. Phoenix asks Matt Engarde if he murdered Juan Corrida, and he replies, “Just so we're clear, dude, I didn't kill anyone, and that includes Juan Corrida, OK?” And he’s correct. He didn’t kill anyone. He did not actively commit any murders. And on that technicality, the Magatama does not go off. He did not kill anyone, and he knows it. He believes it. He feels no residual guilt over it. His hands are clean. Hell, he seems kind of gleeful about the fact that he was ‘technically right’ when the truth comes out later.

So, why didn’t a Psyche-Lock appear? As I said, it was a technicality. He wasn’t trying to hide it from Phoenix, he just truly felt no responsibility for what happened. He felt no guilt about it. The Psyche-Locks don’t appear until Matt’s secrets come up. 

This, of course, lines up neatly with our understanding of the Magatama. This instance very clearly falls within what we know about Psyche-Locks. If you’re not trying to hide it, if you truly believe what you’re saying, it’s not a secret the Magatama will alert you to. So, what about these other instances? Do these line up as neatly in the rules of the Psyche-Locks?

The Half Truth: The Cosmic Turnabout

This one is a little strange so I’m just going to touch on this.

In day one of your investigations for The Cosmic Turnabout, you run into a conflicted Bobby Fulbright. When pressed, two Psyche-Locks appear, and unlocking them leads you to three conversations: 1) The bomb threat before the launch, 2) Why Simon Blackquill was given permission to prosecute, and 3) The mysterious Phantom.

So why do I call this a false positive? After all, he is technically hiding all these things. And yet, a lot of how this Psyche-Unlocking goes down doesn’t really make as much sense when you consider that Bobby Fulbright is The Phantom. It really doesn’t make much sense how much information he’s feeding them about the situation, unlocked Psyche-Locks or not. Especially the way he goes about the whole thing. 

We know in hindsight that The Phantom doesn’t actually care about Simon Blackquill or solving the crime that he committed. Every display of emotion is an act. So why does he make a big show of feeling conflicted? Why does the bomb threat that he made lead him to divulging all of these worries about Simon going after the Phantom? Was him revealing this information part of his game? Since we know he was trying to cover his tracks, was he feeding us half truths for a reason? Did he want to feed us this information?

If that’s the case, that leads us to a new problem. Since the question asked was “Why Are You Being Cooperative”, why wouldn’t the fact that he was the Phantom ping the Magatama? He was being cooperative so that he could feed you information, not because he cared about any of the things he was ‘troubled’ by. So why does the Magatama only pick up on half the truth? After all, the Phantom wasn’t knowingly tricking the Magatama.

(Also if you haven’t read this comic I thought it was a super interesting theory. Not sure I ascribe to it 100% but it was a really interesting take.)

I think it’s important to note in this example that, no matter how you interpret The Phantom’s actions, all signs point to him wanting to divulge this information for one reason or another. There was an intent about it. He may not have known a thing about the Psyche-Locks, but he very clearly was baiting the protagonists with an intent. And technically, without knowing it, he was also baiting the Magatama. 

This means that, in the end, the information he actually revealed to the protagonists was not a closely guarded secret of the heart. Yes, you still needed to present evidence and draw it out of him, but I think The Phantom wanted the characters to draw it out of him. It’s not a secret that a bumbling detective was having trouble hiding, it was information that a spy wanted planted. There was intent here, no matter how you look at it. And that leads us to our third example.

The False Positive: The Stolen Turnabout

Unlike the previous two cases, this is the first time that someone has straight up lied to the Magatama. Trials and Tribulations: The Stolen Turnabout. I always get so mixed up by this case. It took me three playthroughs to finally get the hang of who was doing what where and when. And do you know why that was? It was because of one lie that Luke Atmey told us early in the investigation.

Phoenix: Detective Atmey... You were knocked unconscious by the thief, weren't you!?

Atmey: Ha ha ha! Surely you must be joking... You think that I, Luke Atmey, could be knocked unconscious so easily!?

Phoenix: This sword proves it!

Atmey: ...! Th-That's...

Phoenix: Before the theft, this sword was in the hand of the statue of Ami Fey. Furthermore... at that time, it was not bent.

Atmey: Aaah... Err...

Phoenix: ...There's only one explanation. You were struck on the head and knocked unconscious by this sword! Well, Detective!? What about it!?

Atmey: ...I'm impressed. You truly are an "Ace Attorney"...

Unlock Successful

Unlike every other instance, this is just a straight-up lie. This is not a technicality, like with Matt Engarde. This is not pieces of the truth, like The Phantom. This is just factually incorrect. Luke Atmey was not knocked unconscious by Mask☆Demasque. In fact, this not only is a lie, it’s a calculated lie. Without knowing about the Magatama or its capabilities, Luke Atmey used it to convince us that he was knocked unconscious by Mask☆Demasque at the scene of the crime to disguise the fact that he was Mask☆Demasque, which is even wilder when you realize later that even that was a lie! He was covering up a lie with another lie with another lie. It was not just a ploy to fool you into thinking he was attacked my Mask☆Demasque, it was also a part of him convincing you that he was Mask☆Demasque when he wasn’t.

So why the FUCK does the Magatama go off?!

There’s of course a meta answer. The writers weren’t thinking that hard about it. They just wanted to use the Psyche-Locks to make the story more interesting. But that’s boring. I want to go deeper.

Luke Atmey, like The Phantom later on, wanted information planted. But he couldn’t simply tell everyone he was attacked by Mask☆Demasque. After all, he knew admitting to it would put his credentials under scrutiny. So he needed someone to organically draw it out of him. Again, he wanted this information out there. Otherwise, him agreeing to Phoenix’s conclusions, hell, him setting up this scenario with the Shichishito wouldn’t make any sense. Plus, it was only behind one Psyche-Lock and led to him revealing a photo of the crime, one that he was very meticulous about taking to create an alibi.

So. What does this all mean? How are people confusing the Magatama? How are people lying? I think that the element that Pearl got wrong in her initial explanation is that the Magatama reacts to secrets that, deep down, a person wants to divulge. After all, with enough evidence, you can eventually draw all sorts of information out of a person. Some are certainly more closely guarded secrets than others, but in the end, I think the Magatama reacts to secrets that a character wants to share but is not willing to do so without that prompting. It doesn’t have to be real, it just has to be something the person is keeping secret with the intent of finding a way to plant the information.

This can even apply to Black Psyche-Locks. Unconscious secrets that are hidden even from the person hiding them? Those are deep hurts that I think drive a lot about these characters’ personalities and motivations, and I think things like that are the kinds of stuff that a character wants to confront but is unable to do so out of fear, so they push it from their minds.

Let’s look at a few more examples. In Bridge to the Turnabout, Miles demands info from Larry, and he’s able to completely circumvent the Psyche-Locks by divulging something completely irrelevant about his crush on Iris. When Miles realizes his mistake, he discovers a completely new set of Psyche-Locks. Or when Phoenix confronts “Iris” about the presence of another Iris at the crime, “Iris” (cough Dahlia cough) uses that to start planting these ideas about Iris as the original betrayer, as the one who had wronged Dahlia in the first place. I feel these are both things that the characters did want to share, despite not wanting to do it unprompted.

Anyway, uh, that’s most of what I got. Perhaps there’s a stronger answer out there for why the Magatama may react in places it shouldn’t. Maybe there’s some other hidden rule they haven’t mentioned. Or maybe it is just as simple as “The writers didn’t think that hard about it.” But hey, I think I like this interpretation better.

[specsforwoo]

Son of Morpheus | Demigod!Lee Jeno

Parent Deity: Morpheus (God of Dreams and Human Dreamers)

Allegiance: Hypnos

This boy loves to sleep

Like LOVES to sleep

He could be found sleeping anywhere

High key his mom found him sleeping on the kitchen floor one day

And ever since he was little

He was able to remember his dreams with intense detail

His family just thought it was a 4 year old’s imagination running wild

Until the night terrors started

He was tormented with them

They started around the time he was 7

They still happen today, just much less in frequency

But when he was younger

They were really bad

Like he would wake up screaming and crying

And it took ages for him to calm down

It got to the point that his mom was considering taking him to a child psychiatrist

He found a way to calm himself though

He began drawing out scenes from his dreams

No matter what they are

Light and airy or nightmarish

It helped him cope in a way

Life continued on

And he started opening up to his mom about his dreams

He talked about a young man with tan skin and dark curly hair

And wings of a white warblers

He told stories of epic battles

Of courtrooms filled with music and sleeping bodies

Of sleepless nights talking with a man sitting on the moon

Jeno couldn’t tell if he was scared of the man or not

As he entered middle school

He started being able to interpret his dreams

Other’s dreams too

He kept it a secret though

It terrified him

He learned to accept this too

As he did everything else

But then he learned he could predict others dreams

And it scared the shit out of him

He told his best friend, Jaemin first

Jaemin just gave him this knowing look and took him to his mom

His mom sat him down

And for the first time in his 14 years of life

His mother pulled out a photo of his father

And he was shocked

It was the curly haired man that he saw every night in his dreams

Sitting there next to his mother in a cafe in Greece

He was fucking confused

Like really fucking confused

Until it clicked

That was his dad

His dad had wings of a garbler

HIS DAD HAS WINGS OF A GARBLER

Am I going to grow wings too!?!?!?!?!?!?

No, you idiot. Jaemin

I’m not?

No, you have to earn them. Also Jaemin

So that night he was lying in bed

Questioning whether or not he wanted to fall asleep

Knowing he would have to confront his father there

But a cloud with a dreamcatcher with dew drops hanging from the strings shrouded with a calming silver light appeared above his head

And he fell asleep instantaneously

His father was sitting there

Talking with the man who embodied the moon

The man that he didn’t recognize made a comment and vanished after he caught sight of him

His father turned around. It was like he hadn’t aged a day since the photo see saw

Do you know who I am?

Uhhhhh. A dude with white warbler wings??? That haunts my dreams every night. Who also happens to be my father?

He didn’t mean to sound as sarcastic as it came out

Yes, that is all true, though I don’t ‘haunt’ you. But, do you know who I am?

No

He sat him down in the dark pavilion, explaining about the gods and goddess, the war and everything in between, even how he was born.

Do I like…. Have half-siblings??

No, but Jaemin is your cousin. His father smiled

After that, the dream faded off and he was peaceful for the rest of the night

Waking up, Jaemin was passed out on the couch in the living room

Picking up the nearest thing (a remote) he threw it at the boy on the couch, causing him to wake up

WHY IN OLYMPUS DID YOU NEVER TELL ME WE ARE TECHNICALLY COUSINS????

Not my place?

Anyways start packing, Mom said I can take you to camp with me this year :)

Yes, Jaemin calls Jeno’s mom his mom

And so he went to camp with Jaemin that year

It was nothing like what Jaemin described

It was WAY cooler

On the first day people were milling around everywhere

Jaemin led him over to a couple older kids with badges around their necks

Hey Jaemin!

Jaemin introduced them as Johnny and Ten, both sons of wind gods, both camp leaders who were helping all of the new kids get around and find their cabins

They’ll take care of you, I have to go find her.

Jaemin basically dumped Jeno on their shoulders so he could go find his girlfriend smh

Jaemin told us you were Morpheus’ kid, we were thinking about putting you in the Crios cabin? Does that sound okay? We would put you with Jaemin but he said you should get to know other campers your first year here. The shorter one spoke up

The taller one, Jaemin introduced him as Johnny, pulled out a gold coin, flicking it into the air while muttering something, and a wavering rainbow appeared in front of them

Put me through to Taeil and soon the rainbow was showing an older boy as well with a red undercut over some astrology papers

The rainbow??? Was facetime???

Ten obviously saw the shock on poor Jeno’s face, carefully explaining what an Iris message was and how to do it

After that he settled into demigod life pretty quickly

Jaemin introduced him to all of his friends, the Dream team, even some older campers who he was close with

He even liked the Crios cabin so much that he decided to stay there past the first year. The Morpheus cabin was lonely and Jaemin always had his girlfriend over trying to get her to sleep

The night terrors slowly subsided and soon his dreams were more peaceful than anything else

But one time he dreamt about a girl, right around his age, running into camp, a dark aura surrounding her but obvious scared

It wasn’t the dark aura that worried him, Kun and Jaehyun both had a dark aura, both sons of gods related to death

But her aura was different, it was mixed with madness, it was close to driving her insane

Even though it was only a dream, he couldn’t shake it off

He asked everyone that he knew, especially Jaemin, he found out a while ago that he was the one who founded the camp, what the aura could be and no one knew

He also started watching the border of camp everyday

Not stalking it or anything, just glancing over whenever he had a chance

A couple weeks past and Jeno was convinced that it was just a really weird dream

But then you actually showed up

Same way that it happened in the dream

You ran into the borders of camp like you were out of your mind, you were paranoid, no one could even touch you, not even Sicheng

When Jeno had heard what happened, he ran down to the pavilion

There you were, on the ground, covering your ears, eyes wide open, terrified to shut them, and shaking in fear

Once he had pushed his way through the crowd, he placed his hand over your eyes and shortly, you had fallen asleep

After that, Sicheng had moved you to the infirmary with Jeno’s and Johnny’s help

He found that you were severely dehydrated, and even he couldn’t describe the aura around you. It wasn’t that of Kun or Jaehyun’s but it was definitely similar

You were were in and out of consciousness for about 3 days and when everything finally settled down, a raven with a snake in its mouth appeared over your head

It was symbols that no one had seen or heard of, not even Jaemin or Taeyong

The boys spent the next couple of days researching who the symbols could belong to, and eventually they found it: Melinoe

Goddess of ghosts and spiritual passage who brought mortals nightmares that drove them insane

That would explain the way you were when you first came into camp

After that, Jeno stayed by your side every step of your recovery

He also helped you to manage the nightmares and control your powers

He had been there before, dreams were a tricky subject and nightmares made it even more complicated

But slowly you got the hang of it

And slowly Jeno started to have a crush on you, and slowly it turned into more

When he finally asked you out, you were ecstatic, it would be a lie to say that you hadn’t developed feelings for Jeno since coming to camp

And when camp closed for the summer- except for the few that stayed, he found out that you were attending the same university

He had been studying astrology while you were in the art department, soon, everyone in campus and camp knew who the two of you were

Y’all were inseparable

The Dreamies even accepted you into their group

(Jisung is your favorite don’t tell Jeno)

You eventually ended up moving in with Jaehyun

He had become like your older brother at camp

When Jeno wasn’t able to help you learn about your powers, Jaehyun was there to help

He even got his mom to visit personally and talk to you about your own mom and what he role was, and most importantly, that she wasn’t a bad person

Jaehyun knew the pain that you dealt with having a parent being a literal embodiment of death

And soon enough, it was even like Jeno had moved in with Jaehyun with how much he was at the apartment

Jaehyun was okay with it as long as he didn’t wake up in the middle of the night :)

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 15

(Masterpost)(Other Canary Content)

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

This rewatch is going to fit into a single post, because a third of the episode is just crying and yelling on a very slow boat. If you want to learn the Chinese words for “Mother” and “Father” this is your episode. 

Captain Blowhard

Clan Leader Yao shows up, having barely survived the massacre of his clan, along with two disciples who aren't too excited about their unwilling promotion to top targets. Jiang Cheng tells his dad that the Wens are systematically exterminating the smaller clans, and have said anyone who helps the survivors is going to be punished. 

Jiang Fengmian tells Yao that the Jiang Clan will protect him. Which is why Wei Wuxian is responsible for the massacre of the Jiang Clan. 

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian both think that taking Yao to the Jin clan is the best way to keep him safe. Wei Wuxian was wrong to help the heirs of the powerfullest richest clans, but sure, let's save this asshole.

Road Tripping

The boys go down to the dock to send Jiang Yanli and Jiang Fengmian off, saying a formal goodbye with a bunch of disciples and showing off how extremely good they look in these close-fitted, simply cut robes with cool belts.

Yu Ziyuan comes down to say goodbye to Yanli and give her some medicine, covering by saying it's for Jiang Fengmian, because being sick is bad for marriage prospects, probably. 

Later the boys will mention their hope that YZY will be mollified by the time JFM returns, which means this possibly isn't the usual state of their relationship. The dislike and jealousy seem to be constant, but perhaps being openly at war with each other is not.

(more after the cut!)

Club Ruohan

At Club Ruohan, Wen Ruohan is tired of sitting on his big uncomfortable throne so he's sitting on the floor next to it, instead. He's suffering the embarrassing problem of black smoke leakage, and needs Wen Qing to give him acupuncture to fix it, but she's not around. Wen Ruohan has an awful lot of trouble containing resentful energy, possibly because he is controlling a bunch of zombies 24x7 instead of letting them take a break. Wei Wuxian is mostly able to control it--except when he, you know, totally isn't--without ever needing an attractive acupuncturist to give him a poke.

WRH learns from Wen Chao that Wei Wuxian 1. killed a boss-level monster on nightmare level difficulty without his sword 2. took whatever thing had been suppressing the nightmare monster for the previous really long time.  WRH wants whatever it is.

Boys in Charge

When the boys get back to Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng doesn't understand why they couldn't all go to the Lins together, and Wei Wuxian explains it to him. Wei Wuxian is the one seeing the big picture, and he wants to plan how to handle the Wen forces when they, inevitably, arrive. 

Jiang Cheng would rather talk big than actually plan, showing how--at this age--his anger management problem is an issue on a strategic level, not just a personal one.  As a clan leader he will eventually master this aspect, for the most part, and learn to keep a cool head in regard to martial matters, while continuing to feed his interpersonal rage problem.

The brothers supervise the archery practice of the Jiang disciples, having their last nice time together, and still without a plan. Wei Wuxian is bored and calls practice early so he can go be bored on the porch or in his room, since he isn't allowed out. In fact he's so bored by lockdown that he starts an irreverent niche blog.  

(he’s kidding! keep your mask on, don’t go to wine houses)

Knowing that the Wen Clan is gunning for enemy cultivators, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng send the whole group of disciples, including children, outside the compound walls to retrieve their kites. This is what happens when you don't have a plan.

Wen the Levee Breaks

Wen Chao’s girlfriend Wang Lingjiao finds a kite with a hole in it and uses it as a pretext to snatch up the youngest disciple. 

The other disciples come running back and tell WWX and JC what happened. Wei Wuxian calmly gets all of the information from them and starts figuring out what to do, while Jiang Cheng freaks out. 

Jiang Cheng is a good fighter, and matures into an excellent one after a core upgrade and war experience. But Wei Wuxian is a born battle leader, developing strategies on the fly and staying cool under pressure.

Madame Yu is as brave as a barrel full of bears and Yinzhu and Jinzhu chase lions down the stairs

Yu Ziyuan and the murder twins show up and all of the disciples line up behind them, relieved to have someone scary in charge.. Yu Ziyuan is also a natural leader and an awesome fighter, but her judgement is terrible, as we're about to discover. 

Bitchfest

Wang Lingjiao strolls in to the main hall and has the nerve to comment on the interior decorating, because it doesn't have enough rough-hewn black rock and lava pits, apparently.

She shows them all the kite and says that because it looks (kind of) like the sun, using it for target practice is an attack on the Wen Clan. Bitch, everything your clan wears and uses has fire on it and is red. The sun is not your emblem, no matter what the text says. This kite situation is presumably where the anti-Wen campaign gets its name of "Sunshot," however, which sounds pretty cool.

Wang Lingjiao moves along to her main point, which is that Wei Wuxian needs his ass kicked, and she'd like Yu Ziyuan to do the kicking. To goad her, she starts talking about the rumors about Wei Wuxian's parentage.

Let it Whip

So let it whip (let's whip it, baby) Get a grip (let's whip it baby) Well, what's your trip? (Oh no)

Yu Ziyuan takes the bait, and proceeds to whip the shit out of her strongest battle asset, in a sequence that's either horrifying or completely fucking awesome, depending on how you feel about whump.

There are a lot of bad effects in this show and a lot of questionable fighting, but any time Zidian flies, I am HERE for it. I gave this beatdown its own gifset over here.

Jiang Cheng is devastated and tries again and again to protect Wei Wuxian, but his mother and her lieutenants keep moving him out of the way so the beating can continue.

Yu Ziyuan hits Wei Wuxian at least 5 times, until he is totally unable to get up off the floor. Wang Lingjiao has succeeded in eliminating him as a threat for the moment.

Gotta Hand It To You

Wang Lingjiao isn't satisfied with the brutal whipping, however; she wants his right hand as a trophy, and for him to be unable to recover.  Yu Ziyuan tells Jinzhu and Yinzhu to close the doors because some blood is going to fly. 

I'd like to think this is when Yu Ziyuan decides to kill the Wens, rather than maiming WWX, but I'm not certain. Because she doesn't start attacking until after Wang Lingjiao says the Wens are taking Lotus Pier, and tells her to discipline Jiang Cheng. So maybe she is okay with taking WWX’s hand, but draws the line at giving up her house.

Through all of this, Wei Wuxian doesn't once protest, even when he thinks they're getting ready to take his hand off. He'll do whatever it takes to make peace. THIS is the core of his heroism; he will sacrifice anything to do what he thinks is right. He's not "playing the hero;" not doing this for fame or kudos, but for a clear conscience.

It’s a Murder Party

Wang Lingjiao explains the new Wen World order, and Yu Ziyuan smacks her to the floor and then takes out all 8 of the Wen soldiers in one elegant move. 

Can we talk about how incredibly effective a fighter Yu Ziyuan is, without a sword? With her first-class spiritual tool as her only weapon? Nobody is telling her she needs to carry a sword. She shows she can use one, after she gives Zidian to Jiang Cheng, but she's absolutely devastating without one.

Having defied Wang Lingjiao, Yu Ziyuan...doesn't kill her. She chokes her, slaps her and yells at her. Then she insults her clan and sticks her FOOT on her FACE.

She sics the murder twins on the guards in the room, and they shank all of them at super speed while the boys watch with alarm. 

Then she has them sloooowly advance on Wang Lingjiao, giving her plenty of time to holler for Wen Zhuliu before they can kill her.

Het Heat

Wen Zhuliu comes flying in, literally, kicking both murder twins across the room at the same time. This is followed by Core-Melting Hand x Violet Spider suddenly becoming the most shippable M/F couple in this thing, because wow, they have some serious chemistry.

I never saw a pretty girl look so tough

Actor Feng Mingjing continues to do an awful lot with almost no lines, in his portrayal of Wen Zhuliu. WZL politely apologizes to Yu Ziyuan. Is he offering to withdraw, or is he just being polite before getting down to the killy bit? Either way, Yu Ziyuan is ready to rumble, and doesn't even consider de-escalating.

You know who was able to rein in his temper, after fighting with this same extremely dangerous dude, and therefore lived to fight another day? Fucking Nie Mingjue, that's who, who has a generational CURSE making him angry. While Yu Ziyuan, is like, "fuck the safety of my clan, this is Wei Wuxian's fault anyway" and throws down.

Wen Zhuliu and Yu Ziyuan proceed to have an epic, sexy fight, where he catches her whip and she dodges his attempt to feel up her core.

He's a magic man, mama, he's got the magic hands.

Wei Wuxian, still incapacitated, tells Jiang Cheng to stop Wang Lingjiao from calling for help, but JC gets distracted by the threat to his mom, and goes to engage with Wen Zhuliu.

Jiang Cheng takes a horrifying smack in the chest, which injures him and takes him out, while Wang Lingjiao sends the signal that seals the fate of Lotus Pier.

It’s All Over Except for the Crying

Yu Ziyuan immediately sees that she's lost the battle, and has the murder twins divert Wen Zhuliu while she brings the two boys to the pier. 

She verifies that Jiang Cheng's core is still intact, showing the viewers, for future reference, that it's possible to tell by touch if someone's core is missing, although a casual touch won't do it.  

Then she re-codes the Zidian so that it recognizes Jiang Cheng and puts it on his wrist. She follows this with a display of maternal affection for Jiang Cheng unlike anything we've seen so far, which super fails to reassure him.  

She follows this up with screaming at Wei Wuxian and telling him how much she hates him, and blaming him for the multiple shitty choices she just made..  

With a heart full of rage, she reminds him that his worth lies in what he can do for more important people.

She binds the boys with Zidian and then sends the boat on its way....

...with a frickin' TALISMAN, holeee shit. As toxic as she is for Wei Wuxian, there is a direct line from her cultivation skills to his.  

Dad To The  Rescue...sort of

The last third of the episode is basically yelling and crying punctuated by a couple of interactions out on the water. The extreme emotions go on for long enough that I eventually stop feeling bad for the characters and start feeling bad for the actors, who had to maintain this level of feeling for probably days of shooting.

The boys eventually meet up with Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli. JFM discovers that Zidian responds to his control, which tells him something is very, very wrong, since it probably knows how his wife feels about him.

This thing isn’t biting me; your mom is in serious trouble. 

Here Jiang Fengmian decides to do the heroic, totally futile thing, which is exactly his style. He tosses Jiang Yanli in with the boys and takes his leave so he can go die with his wife while the children survive.  

He has to know that Yu Ziyuan is the stronger fighter of the two of them, and that he's not going back to rescue her. He's just going to stand with her and die together, which is the most romantic thing you can do in a C-drama, after all.  

How Much Do You Owe the Jiang Clan?

Jiang Fengmian tells his two children not to cry, making them and the viewer cry extra hard. (specially ouchy gifset here).

Then he turns to Wei Wuxian and, with a heart full of tenderness, reminds him that his worth lies in what he can do for more important people.

Next episode: Is going to be even more horrible! 

Soundtrack: 1. When The Levee Breaks, Led Zeppelin 2. The Tale of Custard the Dragon (poem) by Ogden Nash 3. Let it Whip by the Dazz Band 4. U Got the Look by Prince & Sheena Easton 5. Magic Man by Heart

[quasieli]

top six: fictional characters that give you gender envy, flowers, little things that make you happy and d&d moments :D

Ooh lotsa questions!

Gender Envy:

1) Bow from She-Ra (2018). Something about buff athletic dude who wears crop tops and is soft as hell is very Gender to me.

2) Vax from Critical Role. Pretty boy, kinda goth rogue? That’s sexy as hell and I wish that was me. 

3) In a wildly different idea of gender envy, I’ve been thinking about it lately and @quantum-lesbian’s character in the Frostmaiden game I’m in with them, Ambrose, is Big Gender. Beautiful non-binary drow with a starry and kinda witchy aesthetic that dresses super grandly and ostentatiously no matter the occasion? Yes please.

4) Pete from The Unsleeping City, specifically season two. I adore season one Pete but season two Pete that works in a queer bookshop and has a teapot arcane focus, is artsy and is unapologetically a trans man who doesn’t give a shit about gender roles? Sign me the fuck up.  

5) Beau from Critical Role. Buff GNC lesbian mixed with academia, but like academia from the prospective of a grad student with ADHD trying to learn everything about their special interests? A+, I love her and I’m jealous. 

6) I’m gonna cheat a lil bit for this last one. I know the prompt is fictional characters, but Julia Lepetit and Jacob Andrews in their Hitman streams? Simultaneously both of them were Gender for me. Jacob esp felt like that for me, which is weird cause dresses can make me dysphoric, but I am also slightly envious of the Dude in a Dress type of gender presentation. 

Can you tell that I’m a confused trans masc enby

Gonna put it under the cut from here cause oof, there’s still a lot more.

Flowers:

1) Big slut for Sunflowers, always have been, always will be.

2) Fun fact, my dad’s family used to own a flower shop (in like the 70s, so I never got to see it :(), and one of their big things was hydrangeas. My dad has always loved them and now I love the snowballs too!  

3) A recent favorite, the Baker’s Globe Mallow. It’s a type of flower that only grows from the soils of forests that have been affected by wildfires. It’s a simple little flower but I love the idea of something beautiful rising from the ashes after tragedy. A little dramatic, but I’m queer, ofc I’m dramatic.

4) Roses are another important flower to my family (Rose was a family name for a couple generations), and ya know, they’re a classic. 

5) There’s this beautiful magnolia tree in front of my house that blooms with the most beautiful white and pink flowers every spring, and it’s one of my favorite things to see every year. 

6) There’s so many different types of Lillies and they’re all very pretty, but the Purple Stargazer is prob my favorite.

Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1) My cat, Maddie. She may be a cranky girl at times, but she is also very sweet and will always be my baby (even though she is 12). 

2) Not a little thing really, but my best friend. Just getting a sweet/silly text from her or the two of us chilling in a room, sitting in a comfortable silence because we just like being together, nothing better. 

3) Baking, esp if I’m doing it for others. I’m not much of a sweets person myself, a little treat every once in a while type person, but I love baking. It’s a very relaxing process for me, even when it can sometimes get stressful, but seeing people enjoying something I made, especially something that brought me great joy to make, is simply the best. 

4) In the same sorta vein, crafting and other art, but that’s a bit more personal. I love making things for others, but art, particularly drawing, is something I do more for me. It’s such a great feeling when you can get into a really good art mood and just sink yourself into a project. I love it.

5) My plush toys. Yes, I am a 23 year old, no I will not stop loving my plushies. I just got a few new friends, which I made a post about recently, and they such good cuddle buddies. However, there is one king amongst them all. I have this old, beat up christmas puppy beanie baby, on his tag named Jingle Pup, but I just call him Jingle. I had one version of him since I was like 6, but he currently lives on a shelf cause he is very beaten up and fragile, but his “brother”, who I got when I was 8, is still in kinda good shape and is currently chilling on my chest as I type this lol.

6) Again, not a little thing, but it’s important to mention; D&D. The game itself is such a joy, but truly the best part of it is the people. I love creating stories and memories with people through this weird little game. Truly one of my favorite things to do.

D&D Moments:

These are all gonna be personal moments, rather than anything from actual play shows/podcasts. RC is Reforged Campaign, where I play Saube, and FM is Frostmaiden, where I play Sparks.

1) RC - Meeting Mahety, Saube’s girlfriend. We met her way back in session 12 and we are now up to like session 73. Saube saw her and was immediately big heart eyes at her but also felt a bit awkward and shy. So, being a game a dice, I decided to roll. 10 or higher, Saube would talk to her, 9 or lower, she’d stay put. I rolled a 17, 17 is now a lucky number for me. I love Mahety and I’d die for her. 

2) FM - This was an insane fight that should not have been so crazy, but in a fairly early session, my group went up against an angry druid and her awakened animals. So much batshit stuff happened in that fight, and we unfortunately lost our bread loving bard (RIP Agneyis), but one of my favorite combat turns happened in this fight. Our artificer, Omaren, has a robe of useful items and one of the patches on it creates a large pit. Thinking quickly, Omaren tore off the patch, slid it under one of the dire wolves we were fighting and created a looney tunes style pit under it, allowing us to take it out easily via pot shots. Such a clutch move and such a funny visual, especially because the dire wolf kept failing the checks to get out of the pit.  

3) RC - Saube’s Zebrith (I will never remember how this actually spelled RIP). So, for context, Saube ended up with a death curse (long story) that mechanically meant they had disadvantage on any death saving throws. Scary as hell, need to get that fixed! So, Saube and their party had to be smuggled into another country to talk with some religious leaders of a goddess known as The First, the goddess of death. They were told that Saube would have to go through the aforementioned ritual, which included her soul leaving her body for a short period of time. During this ritual, her friends had to call back to her, to say things that would bring her back to her body and I still cry thinking about that game. That ritual was not only important for Saube bodily, but spiritually as well. After that ritual, Saube officially became a cleric of The First! 

4) A real sappy one, RC - Saube meeting all of her friends. Anyone who follows along with the rantings on my blog probably knows how important this game is to me. I met this random group of strangers on tumblr and formed a D&D party with them and now, a year and a half later, I honestly think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds silly and dramatic but not only has this game brought me so much joy and comfort, but I also gained a group of really amazing friends who have been nothing but amazing since day one. As much as Saube knows she can depend on SICL, I know I can depend on my group of weirdos lol. We both love our friends very much and even though we’ve all been through some crazy shit, we wouldn’t change it for the world.    

5) RC - Just playing Saube in general. I really didn’t intend for it to be this way, but Saube is very much a reflection of myself. She is the first long term character I have ever played and so much of me is in her. I try not to treat D&D like therapy, because that’s unfair to my DM and fellow party members, but playing Saube has allowed me to work through some of my own problems, especially social anxiety, in a lot safer of an environment. It isn’t so much that I’m asking this game to help me fix my life, but playing out these scenarios that, in the real world, would make me anxious or make me freak out, I can stop, take a moment to breathe and work out these issues in a way that makes sense to me. Playing her has led me to understanding myself a bit better, as well, and that’s truly such a wonderfully unexpected gift from this whole experience. 

6) Lastly, a silly one: RC - Getting a crit 6. The last session of this game got real interesting. Saube’s party ended up in the ethereal plane and magic got real fucky there. So, any time any of us tried to cast a spell, we’d roll a d20, not look at the result, and then try to guess what number rolled. The closer to the number, the better the result. A few times, a few people managed to get within like 3 or 4 of their roll, but oh the power I felt when I rolled a 6 (on Saube’s die!) and guessed it correctly! So, not only did the spell (Bless) work, but it worked super well. So instead of getting +1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws, Saube and two other party members got +2d4 to attacks, saving throws and skill checks. So powerful I broke the rules of D&D lmao. 

[godboundrpgfans]

Guts in Godbound

  Guts, the Black Swordsman.

  One of the most badass characters in fiction.

  Not just for his sheer, unadulterated power and being everything a 90s Anti-Hero is expected to be, but also for being everything that a 90s Anti-Hero isn’t expected to be.

  Guts is a much more complex character than first glances would have you believe, and I don’t think I could do his character justice by talking about it here.

  Thankfully, that’s not why I’m here.

  I’m here because I was bored and got the bright idea to use the Godbound Character Creation System to create Guts.

  Why? Cause why the fuck not?

  Now before we start, I’m going to be doing two version of this character creation.

  The first will follow the standard character creation for a Godbound. You roll up/pick attributes, pick three Words, etc. For this, I will be creating Guts when he was still in the Band of the Hawk, right before he left. Since you could kind of consider that his “peak” before the Eclipse.

  The second version will be the same, except I won’t be using the 6 Point limit that the game gives you at the start. Instead, I will just give Guts any and all Gifts/Artifacts and otherwise that I believe he should have at this point in the Berserk Manga.

  With that out of the way, let’s begin!

  Standard Creation:

  Attribute Scores:

  8, 16, 13, 10, 12, 18

  I’ll wait until after I choose Words since those will have an affect on the Scores.

  Facts:

  Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

  Since this is Guts before the Eclipse, I feel these would be the best Facts to use as his Origin, Past Profession, and Relationship.

  Armor: Medium (AC 5; -4 Save Penalty)

Weapon: Greatsword (1d10; Heavy)

Goals: Find his own Dream so he can stand next to Griffith.

  I’ll put the penalty towards Evasion (Guts was never known to be very dodgy).

  Divine Powers/Words:

  Sword (He’s been using a Greatsword since he was about 5 years old. It’d make sense he’s really fucking good with them)

  Endurance (Guts is fucking durable. Seriously, even before he became the Black Swordsman he was surviving shit that would kill normal people. See his fight with Zodd or Wyald for examples)

  Luck (I was going to put Might here, but as strong as Guts is, during his time as Raider Captain in the Band of the Hawk, he didn’t do anything that really showed off physical strength. Most of the crazy shit he did (such as break through a cast iron door) was with his Sword. So, instead I’m choosing Luck as, let’s face it, Guts has been exceedingly lucky during most of his fights. While it hasn’t exactly made his life sunshine and rainbows, it’s allowed him to survive fight after fight when paired with his unending willpower)

  Now to set up the Attribute Scores:

  Str: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Dex: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 8 (-1): Check: 13

Wis: 12 (+0): Check: 9

Char: 10 (+0): Check: 11

  And here’s our final scores. I set Strength and Constitution the highest for obvious reason (go watch any montage of Guts and you’ll understand). Dexterity is the way it is cause, while Guts is fast, he’s not exactly someone I could see dodging all over the place like a ninja. He’s a much bigger and easier to hit target than someone like, say, Griffith. Wisdom and Charisma are the way they are cause Guts is perceptive, just not too perceptive. On top of that, while he himself is very gruff and not much of a smooth talker, he does seem to attract the opposite sex to him a lot….even the same sex to an extent. And Intelligence is the lowest stat cause….well obvious reasons. Guts is not book smart in the slightest. He knows a lot about surviving on his own or in the wilderness, but he won’t be solving any advanced math problems.

Gifts:

Defy the Iron (While not necessarily negating the damage, Guts is able to ignore most attacks and keep moving even when they should be fatal)

Nine Lives (The dude seems to always luck out on events that would kill him. Look at his fight against Gambino or Bazuso)

Unerring Blade (Do I even need to explain why he gets this one?)

Cutting the Crimson Road (I was actually having trouble deciding between this or Shattering Hand. In the end I chose this one, since one of his most defining moments is when he fought 100 soldiers and won).

Body of Iron Will (Just to give him an AC of 3 and represent how his body is tough as shit).

  With that, here’s what the final Character Sheet Looks like for Guts:

  Name: Guts

  Facts:

Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

  Attributes:

  Str: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Dex: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 8 (-1): Check: 13

Wis: 12 (+0): Check: 9

Char: 10 (+0): Check: 11

  Words:

Sword

Endurance

Luck

  Gifts:

Defy the Iron

Nine Lives

Unerring Blade

Cutting the Crimson Road

Body of Iron Will

  Weapons: Greatsword (1d10; Heavy; Atk Bonus: +1; Attribute Bonus: Str)

  Armor: Medium (AC 5; -4 Penalty to a Save)

  AC: 3

  HP: 11

  Saves:

Hardiness (Con): 12

Evasion (Dex): 18 (Base 14)

Spirit: (Wis): 15

  And here we are, Guts before he became the Black Swordsman as a Godbound. Now then, on to what I would give him if I had full freedom and didn’t have to worry about point limits.

  Free Version:

  I’m keeping the same Attribute Scores, but the Facts will be different:

  Facts:

  Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

Is marked by the Brand of Sacrifice

Has given up his Revenge against Griffith to protect/help Casca, the woman he loves

Has killed over 1,000 Demons

Wields the Dragonslayer

Wears the Berserker Armor

Is haunted by his Beast of Darkness

His companions keep him grounded

He lost his arm and eye, now he has a mechanical arm.

  These are all of the obvious Facts that would be included after the current part of the manga.

  Following that, I would add in these Words:

  Might (By this point, and with the help of his mechanical arm, he has shown that his physical strength is just as strong as an Apostle’s)

  Peak Human (Guts has gone well beyond the realm of a normal mortal by this point. He has proven that, despite not having any real, inherent magical powers, he is able to go toe-to-toe with Apostles, Sea Gods, Demons, Constructs, and just about any supernatural creature that steps in his path. By now, I’d say he’s right on the cusp of being Superhuman)

  Vengeance (Though he has given up on getting revenge against Griffith, it is still a defining characteristic for him, and something he draws strength from)

  Gifts:

  Fear No Steel (At this point, normal weapons are like tickles to Guts.)

Fist of Black Iron (He literally has a fist of black iron)

Loosening God’s Teeth (He can cut an Apostle in half with one swing of his sword)

Contempt of Distance (Guts seems to be able to move to wherever the hell he wants when he needs to kill something)

Thirsting Razor (There are normally too many enemies in front of Guts for him to even worry about hitting Mobs)

All Natural (Guts’ abilities don’t really appear very magical, and that’s because most of them aren’t. Alot of them are from either pure sweat and hard work, determination, or his own equipment)

Mortal’s Luck (The dude never stays down)

Trained Aim (He always seems to hit whatever he aims at…it’s just that most things he aims at has enough armor or scaled hide to resist it)

Human Grit (And how. The dude is able to heal from fatal wounds faster than any other human in his world)

Indomitable Will (Do I really have to explain this one?)

Street Sweeper (Have you seen the size of his sword?)

Bloody Vengeance (Guts loves to use all or nothing attacks that immensely damage both him and his enemy)

Shattering Hand (Dragonslayer. That is all)

  Artifacts:

  Dragonslayer:

  A great sword that is like a hunk of raw iron. This blade has bathed in the blood of so many demons that it now rest on both the Mortal and Astral planes, turning it into a magical weapon that can harm both spiritual and physical creatures. Due to its massive size, it can also be used to block projectiles and smash through any type of armor.

Effort: 5

Hunk of Raw Iron (Greater Gift): As an Action, the wielder may Commit Effort from the artifact to launch an attack at every enemy within sight, doing a maximum of 1 damage even on a miss. Mobs are automatically hit for 1d10+15 rolled straight.

Too Thick, Too Rough (Lesser Gift): As an Action, Commit Effort from the artifact to immediately break any armor, weapon, or piece of equipment in range of the sword. Any magical substance is not destroyed, but damaged to the point where it is almost useless.

The Berserker Armor:

  An ancient, magical armor from the time of the first Emperor, the Berserker Armor is a black and spiked. It completely encases the wearer when it is equipped. It is considered heavy armor and can defend against most attacks, including magical ones. However, the armor’s true ability comes from its power to lock off the wielder’s nervous system, pushing their body to heights that a normal human could never reach. There is a downside to this, as the armor will remove the wielder’s sense of self and cause them to view everything as an enemy. On top of this, the armor does not heal the wearer, instead holding their body together and preventing them from dying to any injury. Once all living creatures have been defeated, all of the wearer’s damage will return full force and can kill them instantly if it is more than their HP can handle.

Effort 10

Unstoppable Rampage (Greater Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to immediately gain three bonus Attacks that can be used on this round only.

Jump Good (Lesser Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to instantly leap to any spot within double your movement speed. This does not count as an Action.

Beast of Darkness (Greater Gift): This Gift can activate whenever you kill an enemy as long as you wear the armor. At the end of a round, if you’ve killed an enemy, roll a Spirit Save. If you fail, this Gift activates. Commit Effort from the Artifact to remove all limits on your body and lose yourself to your inner beast. You lose the ability to make rational decision on the battlefield, and see even your friends as enemies. In return, all of your attacks now deal 1d12+10 Straight Damage, you gain two bonus Actions, you become immune to all mental, emotional, or psychological damage, your attacks shatter any substance even if it is magical in nature, and your attack bonus is now +10. Whenever you take damage, record it somewhere else. Once the battle is over, you must make a Spirit Save to regain control of yourself. If you fail, you must keep fighting everything around you, even if they are your allies, making a Spirit Save each round to regain yourself. If you pass, make a Hardiness Save. If you pass that Save, you only take half of the damage you took during battle rounded up. If you fail, you take the full damage straight.

So now, our final Guts sheet, looks like this:

  Name: Guts

  Facts:

Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

Is marked by the Brand of Sacrifice

Has given up his Revenge for Casca the woman he loves

Has killed over 1,000 Demons

Wields the Dragonslayer

Wears the Berserker Armor

Is haunted by his Beast of Darkness

His companions keep him grounded

He lost his arm and eye, now he has a mechanical arm.

  Attributes:

  Str: 19 (+4): Check: 2

Dex: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Wis: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Char: 13 (+1): Check: 8

  Words:

Sword

Endurance

Luck

Peak Human

Might

Vengeance

  Gifts:

Defy the Iron

Nine Lives

Unerring Blade

Cutting the Crimson Road

Body of Iron Will

Fear No Steel

Fist of Black Iron

Loosening God’s Teeth

Contempt of Distance

Thirsting Razor

All Natural

Mortal’s Luck

Trained Aim

Human Grit

Indomitable Will

Street Sweeper

Bloody Vengeance

Shattering Hand

  Weapons: Dragonslayer (1d10; Heavy; Atk Bonus: +1; Attribute Bonus: Str)

  Armor: Berserker Armor (AC 3; -4 Penalty to 2 Saves)

  AC: 3

  HP: 11

  Saves:

Hardiness (Con): 15 (Base 11)

Evasion (Dex): 16 (Base 12)

Spirit: (Wis): 14

  Artifacts:

  Dragonslayer:

  A great sword that is like a hunk of raw iron. This blade has bathed in the blood of so many demons that it now rest on both the Mortal and Astral planes, turning it into a magical weapon that can harm both spiritual and physical creatures. Due to its massive size, it can also be used to block projectiles and smash through any type of armor.

Effort: 5

Hunk of Raw Iron (Greater Gift): As an Action, the wielder may Commit Effort from the artifact to launch an attack at every enemy within sight, doing a maximum of 1 damage even on a miss. Mobs are automatically hit for 1d10+15 rolled straight.

Too Thick, Too Rough (Lesser Gift): As an Action, Commit Effort from the artifact to immediately break any armor, weapon, or piece of equipment in range of the sword. Any magical substance is not destroyed, but damaged to the point where it is almost useless.

The Berserker Armor:

  An ancient, magical armor from the time of the first Emperor, the Berserker Armor is a black, spiked armor that completely encases the wearer. It is considered heavy armor and can defend against most attacks, including magical ones. However, the armor’s true ability comes from its power to lock off the wielder’s nervous system, pushing their body to heights that a normal human could never reach. There is a downside to this, as the armor will remove the wielder’s sense of self and cause them to view everything as an enemy. On top of this, the armor does not heal the wearer, instead holding their body together and preventing them from dying to any injury. Once all living creatures have been defeated, all of the wearer’s damage will return full force and can kill them instantly if it is more than their HP can handle.

Effort 10

Unstoppable Rampage (Greater Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to immediately gain three bonus Attacks that can be used on this round only.

Jump Good (Lesser Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to instantly leap to any spot within double your movement speed. This does not count as an Action.

Beast of Darkness (Greater Gift): This Gift can activate whenever you kill an enemy as long as you wear the armor. At the end of a round, if you’ve killed an enemy, roll a Spirit Save. If you fail, this Gift activates. Commit Effort from the Artifact to remove all limits on your body and lose yourself to your inner beast. You lose the ability to make rational decision on the battlefield, and see even your friends as enemies. In return, all of your attacks now deal 1d12+10 Straight Damage, you gain two bonus Actions, you become immune to all mental, emotional, or psychological damage, your attacks shatter any substance even if it is magical in nature, and your attack bonus is now +10. Whenever you take damage, record it somewhere else. Once the battle is over, you must make a Spirit Save to regain control of yourself. If you fail, you must keep fighting everything around you, even if they are your allies, making a Spirit Save each round to regain yourself. If you pass, make a Hardiness Save. If you pass that Save, you only take half of the damage you took during battle rounded up. If you fail, you take the full damage straight.

  And there we go. I would’ve added another Gift to the Dragonslayer, but I couldn’t think of what to put there.

  So, there you go. How I would stat Guts as a Godbound.

  Feedback would be appreciated, and if you think there are things I could’ve added or done better, please let me know.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

12. On Your Side

Decided to publish what I had worked on before my hiatus, mainly for Tina and nem, as a Xmas thing. Ion celebrate that shit, happy holidays or whatever. I was hoping to have completed the story by now, but with my break for mental health, I guess it's either pushed back or gonna be abandoned. Will know in a couple of weeks or so what, if anything I intend to do with it. Its an Apex centered chapter. I'm still on hiatus. You can leave a review if you want to, but don't message me about Simon or this story. Thanks.

*The Grace St. Catherine Playlist, featuring songs used in chapter and songs that inspired the chapter*

“Even through the darkest phase

Be it thick or thin

Always someone marches brave

Here beneath my skin…” Grace let the music play in the background as she tried to do all of the things suggested to her by her “spiritual advisor,” Sunny, whenever she moved into the place. She was doing more drawing - mostly sketches of carnage and rage. She was journaling a lot, mostly in the form of a narrative told by a hypothetical fictional character, because admitting to the things that she was doing on paper was a huge no-no, so she simply projected her life through her journaling character, The Saint, whom would never be referred to by name in any of the entries. In this particular one, The Saint was contemplating calling The Shadow. What would the conversation even be like? He would tell her how bad she was for being mad at him. She would tell him that she only hurt bad people, but he hurt a friend… he hurt her. That was different. So different. But she MISSED him.

She had began to sketch him. She was more of a doodler/drew cartoons and comics on her phone and stuff… but she was shut up in this place for hours at a time and hadn’t really used a pencil and a sketch book seriously in a while. Then, it got away from her. After a few days, she had almost filled up a sketch book with drawings of Simon. She winced when she thought of his name. She had been avoiding speaking it and thinking it. “And constant craving has always been…” She stared at the phone, then changed the track. The last thing she needed was to think about craving, of all things…

Now, that the phone was in her hand, she glanced around, feeling that paranoia that she had since she left home. Nobody was watching her here, but she felt obligated to check, anyway, and upon verifying what she already knew - that nobody was fucking watching her - she went to visit his social media. Private? Since when? She checked another. Same thing. A third, same fucking thing! “UGH!!!” She threw her phone onto the couch and went to go chop wood. She didn’t really like to chop wood, but it did make her feel better to swing a tool and see destruction come out of it.

“Old wounds

Old fights

Another day goes by

I'm not playing by the rules

They can't take me for no fool…” Her phone continued singing as she went outside.

.

Jalicia Barrett was not the same type of watch as Grace was. She obviously wasn’t as upscale as Grace, so she wound up having much to do that was necessary, unlike Grace’s schedule of playing a typical woman. Now, to say that Jalicia was typical would be a stretch of the imagination, as Simon knew that none of Grace’s people were that and she had possibly an unreasonable amount of tiger items, but she was closer to an average person than Grace was.

She went to Seattle University, but hadn't selected a major. She was still doing general studies after taking a few years to get her GED (She began trying at 16 and only successfully received it less than a year ago), so.. a freshman in college, which wasn't bad. She was 19. She worked on campus and seemed to have other odd jobs, like being a delivery driver or personal cab, and stuff at that Infinity Foundation place.

She didn’t have rich parents. From what Simon was able to find, she was never reunited with them, whoever they were. If they had lived in Seattle when she was taken, there was nothing on file to indicate that she was reported missing. Of course… he didn’t know what her real name was. The name Jalicia Barrett only became a name for her in the year after Grace left the mental institution. He knew that was likely connected.

Maybe… she wound up in the system after Grace touched base with them? At any rate… whoever the girl who was brought into trafficking had been, she was now Jalicia Barrett, a girl who began existing when she was 13 or 14 and obviously probably didn’t know her DOB either, as it was on record as the day that her name was given, her documents were created all around the same time, so she had to either have been a baby whenever she was taken, or simply never knew her personal information like birth date and full name.

BUT, she did have prints on file, so she probably had birth records that could be matched to them somewhere. He didn’t know if he wanted to get into that… or if she hadn’t done so herself and simply decided that life was easier being the person that she knew herself to be now. He certainly couldn’t imagine separating from his loved ones and then not finding them for a decade or so and then just… trying to pretend that they were family after all or something. She had the family she wanted… Well… she lost one. He felt bad for her. It wasn’t the same, but whenever he lost Grace, he felt like his world collapsed. To even pretend to understand how this woman must feel losing her life partner after years of being together, he wouldn’t insult her like that. Instead, he looked into the details surrounding that. Whatever happened to that investigation?

He’d provided an alibi for them and the police never spoke with him again. He’d done his best playing ignorant and pretending that everything was casual. Whenever they asked him about Heath, he said that he didn’t know Heath. “I’ve only met him once and he didn’t show up to the gathering… Is he alright?” They didn’t answer, just wished him a good day.

Now, he was looking through their paperwork and he was sure that he might find something interesting, if not useful. Simon had no idea what he was looking for with these other people. Something that led him back to Grace’s trail, and he had to figure out how they worked to even presume that…

Here’s the thing… Simon wasn’t going to write himself off as wrong or going too far. For crying out loud, the things that these people did, and they felt justified in their reasonings, so he wasn’t going to allow himself to feel bad. Grace might need him, and Xander was keeping her away from him. He cursed himself over that gun, though. However, IF she would have just let him explain that he only had it to keep Xander from getting it! He didn’t know what to think when he holstered it, but it wasn’t for her! Why would he hurt her? He scanned through paperwork, trying to take his mind off of Grace’s lack of faith in him and then, he was sure that he found what he needed. If not; he’d found something interesting. “Huh.”

.

Grace called Sunny for more tips. She was doing everything that she told her to, and reading all these books and articles, ordering all sorts of holistic woo woo shit, and trying SO HARD just to not lose it out there… Sunny was always a mood lifter for her though. They would talk for however long, laugh, joke, sometimes get entirely too serious and cry… they hadn’t done this in a long time, but Grace had been calling her more frequently lately and, well… it was necessary for her to be available.

“It’s like… I don’t want to use this word lightly, and I especially can’t tell Xan, but I feel like I’m like… addicted… Does that sound stupid?”

“Xander doesn’t own the word addicted, Grace. He’s struggled with a few drugs over the years, but one of the reasons is because he’s sick. Some people can try things and never really become addicted to them because those things didn’t appeal to them in that way. This dude appealed to you in a way that your body wasn’t used to. He got into your mind, and most likely changed the chemical balance. Affected your hormones and shit, only to find that he wasn’t what you thought and now your chemicals gotta try to balance back out without his influence, so no, it doesn’t sound stupid. Perhaps melodramatic, but I don’t know. You could be addicted to the way that he made you feel. Going through dick withdrawals is a struggle that people don’t give enough credence, too.”

Grace snorted. “I’m… not… going through that. We weren’t like that. I don’t even know if he ever was into me that way? It was like… I don’t know… I never got the feeling that he desired me physically.”

“What feeling did you get?”

“For the most part, that he wanted me around. I don’t know why. He never seemed to be asking anything of me but to let him be near me. He was very good about not entering my personal space, and even when I got comfortable, he still never made any move on me or anything like that. He just seemed to like to be… present.”

“Okay, but what would he be doing when he was present?”

“Sometimes nothing, really. Just looking at me, or listening to me. Sometimes, we were doing our own thing - me reading a book. Him playing video games or writing, or… Idk, working on a cosplay outfit.”

“Girl, on what?”

“He’s a fantasy fanboy before he’s a fantasy writer, so he you know… makes cosplay costumes and stuff for conventions. Whenever he’s not scheduled to be on a panel at one… This is something that I’ve observed, not something that he’s said. He… doesn’t talk about himself a lot. Not at all, come to think about it.”

“Xander makes him out to be a literal serial killer.”

“Xander hates him. What about 808? What does she say? Xan seems to think that he “got to her” or played some kind of mind games or something?”

“Well… she didn’t say anything to me about him, except that he was very talkative and apparently worships you. She was pretty thrown off guard at how comfortable he seemed with being caught and held hostage. She said that he is either the most nonchalant person ever or the craziest fucking person that she’s ever drawn a weapon on, because he acted like they were buddies just chitchatting, and we all know that he knows what we do to people.” Grace didn’t reply. Sunny offered, “Well, whenever I think about the shit that I went through with Xander and how we always seem to find each other in the dark, it's usually in terms of No Angel.”

Grace said, “Beyonce’s No Angel?”

“”Is… Is there another one? Because, if there’s anything AND a Beyonce song, just go ahead and assume that I am only speaking of the Beyonce option.” Grace laughed. Sunny recited, “ I love you even more than who I thought you were before.” Grace held her breath, unsure of what to say to this. Sunny continued, “All I mean to say is that sometimes people aren’t who we initially thought. Sometimes they’re worse. Sometimes they are seriously fucked up. Sometimes, they’re absolute trash… But… you might still love their ass.”

“Damn, Sis… Is this how you feel about Xan? Because those are some hard descriptions.”

“No. Xander is definitely a hot mess, but I was absolutely describing your… thing… over there. Jimony?”

“Simon,” Grace said, trying not to laugh.

“Right. I knew it had “mon” in it.”

.

Jalicia didn’t know what it was about that station that made her put it on all of the time, but her streaming service generally stayed on an old r&b from the 60s and 70s station, and sometimes 80s and 90s, whenever she was at work. She had a journal with a tiger on the front that she was writing down poetry in, but she could never think of titles for any of her work, and she didn’t feel like she was that artistically creative, so she’d title everything, “(Song Title) Plays in the Background,” whether or not the song had any bearing on the poem. Today’s? Let’s Groove Plays in the Background.

Work was a little bit overwhelming, these days, but only because of the things that had nothing to do with it. The fact that she wouldn’t just receive flowers sometimes and have her coworkers wonder why her boyfriend was this thoughtful, but they never saw him. Or the days where she would pout about being broke and having to pack a stupid sandwich and he would insist on having something sent to her at lunchtime, if he didn’t just make her a different, more fulfilling lunch instead. The way that she would get a text whenever he went on his own lunch break, and it would just be some hilarious video or a new thing that they just HAD to buy. Work was overwhelming, because what she had leaned on every shift was the fact that he’d interrupt it with something nice and that she would leave there and get to see him every day.

Now, she was listening to Earth Wind & Fire, in a gray pantsuit and fooling around on her computer while she waited for something to do. She heard the tone of the doorway and she got up to see if somebody needed help. It was a college bookstore and she was often far overdressed, but all she had aside from her typical attire were the pantsuits she wore when she had to do something other than be casual - like functions and interviews or whatever, so that was what she wore to work.

The O. He looked at her like they were friends or something. A polite smile and warmth in his eyes. She stared him down and reached for her phone. “Hi. Can I just have a moment?” He asked. She texted: The O is here and hit “send” to 747. “It won’t take long, I just wanted to give you something.” The O reached into his bag and Jalicia had already identified four common objects in her immediate surroundings that she would definitely use as a weapon against him if he tried something slick. He handed her an envelope, one of the big yellow ones and she frowned.

“I’m not taking whatever that is. For all I know it’s got anthrax in it.”

He laughed and opened it himself, pulled out the paperwork and handed it to her. “I figured out a better method of tracking people down than Heath had the resources for. I know that Xander is trying his hardest, God help him, but he’s not much on a computer and some of these things are hard to find.” She took the pages and glanced through them. Simon helped her find a certain page, “I’ve guessed that you maybe didn’t know much about this part of the situation that you all walked into. The… X, I suppose you’d call him, was very paranoid that he might be on your list and he hired protection.” He pointed out a few key lines that he had highlighted. “Professional protection, and yet when the time came to protect him, Heath wasn’t shot in the arm, or hell, if they didn’t want him to escape, the leg is an option as well.”

“They killed Heath on purpose,” She said, the wind knocked out of her as she did. She tried to take a seat, but just fell back onto a table and leaned against it, knocking down several books.

“They wanted to send a message and since you all slacked up since then, I’m sure that they think that they did.” She started crying angrily and wiped her face. “Flip to the next page.” Her hands were shaking and she wasn’t sure of what she might see, but she flipped to the next page anyway. “That’s your shooter. Since he was on the job, he confessed to being the one who fired and because Heath was breaking an entering and had no family to intercede for an investigation… the cops seem to be fine with what happened to him, despite the fact that our laws state that a person may not use more force than is necessary given the situation.” She shut her eyes and squeezed out tears, her fists tightly holding onto the phot0 of the man. “Next page are his personal details. Do with it whatever you think is best. I just thought that you would want to know.”

She shivered and cried, “This doesn’t mean that I owe you anything. I didn’t ask you for this and I don’t feel indebted to you for it.”

“Jalicia… I’m on your side. Whatever side Grace is on, that’s where I am. I did this because I want to help.”

“Well… This is the most help you’re getting from me - Xander’s on his way.”

“Then, I’ll be on my way.” He had that polite smile again and she was almost terrified how easily it came to him. He left quite a few minutes before Xander arrived.

She instantly fell apart as soon as she saw him, handing him the papers and explaining to him what he was looking at. She left work and was going to call Grace, but Xander snatched her phone while he was driving. “No, what if he. like, cloned your phone or something?”

“What? This ain’t Person of Interest, Boy. What the fuck are you talking about, Bro? He’s rich but it’s not like he’s Lex Luthor.”

“We can’t chance it. He’d do anything to find out where she is.”

“Give me yours, then.”

“Just hold off. I need to check this dude out. For all we know, Simon is just blowing smoke up our asses to get us to lead him to Grace.”

“The fact that you think it’s more likely that he falsified a bunch of police documents than that he simply sneaked them away is making me wonder about you .”

“I let him get too close to her before, and I’m not doing that again.”

Jalicia snatched her phone back from him and they wrestled for it but, he eventually heard Grace on speaker.

“What is happening on that end?” She asked, laughing a little bit nervously.

“We need to talk about Simon,” Jalicia said.

“I disagree with that sentiment!” Xander said in the background.

There was a pause. Grace was panicking a little bit. Did they know that she was trying to check his pages? That she was trying to see if she could make a temporary account just to try to get to them? How would they know that, Girl?

Jalicia added, “It’s about Heath.” Xander turned red in the face and he shook his head and tried to breathe. “Oh, fuck you, Xan. You left him there to die. The least you could do is chill out while I speak to Grace about this.”

“Whoa… That’s not extremely fair. The Apex protocol is that if somebody is hit, we leave and regroup. We go in with the expectation that if we’re hit, we would slow everyone down and jeopardize everything. So, Xander and I both left him,” Grace said the last statement laced with sadness and guilt.

“He pulled you out and sped away,” Jalicia said.

Xander scoffed and then burst into tears, “I’m glad that you’re telling us how you really feel.” His voice was surprisingly calm, but the ladies knew that hurt him more than anything ever had in this world.

“Tell me what you need to say,” Grace said.

“Simon found Heath’s killer.”

“Simon found a person he alleges is Heath’s killer.”

“He had all of the paperwork to corroborate it. More than Heath has ever collected on any X.”

“He had paperwork on a man who works in security who may have shot Heath dead, but as far as we know is not a bad person. He probably was just on a security job. Somebody broke into the house he was guarding and he shot!”

“WHY DID HE SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD???” Jalicia squealed. “I’ve been over this myself, before Simon EVER said anything about it, but WHY didn’t they shoot him to survive and answer questions about what is one of the most infamous string of serial murders to ever hit the city? Why would he risk his job to kill someone that way in security, if there wasn’t a reason that Heath needed to be dead?”

“You… you think that the security dude is old Apex?”

“I think that at best, the security dude wanted to kill a person that he didn’t HAVE to kill and he used Heath as a perfect excuse, making him a shitty person, in my opinion, and at worst, he didn’t want us saying anything to anybody, because he knew why we were there!”

“But, we did release what we had on the X. The information is out there now. Nothing was done about it,” Grace added.

“Precisely! Just as nothing was done about this trigger happy buttfuck, even though our laws state that you’re not supposed to kill motherfuckers if you don’t have to!” Jalicia said. She looked at Xander, poked him in the arm and reminded him, “You were the first one to claim you’ll avenge him”

“And you told me to go fuck myself.”

“Emotions were definitely running high, but if you’re looking for the chance to make good on your word, you’ll have to suck it up and just live with the fact that Simon gave us this, like I have to live with the fact that Heath is never fucking coming home!” She got louder than she intended. Xander wiped his tears with the back of his hand, but more just poured out. He nodded, but he was still extremely upset.

“Send me what Simon sent you. I’ll let you know what I decide from there.”

“Thank you, Grace.”

Grace sighed, paused, then said, “Heath would have wanted us to get out, but even if you had driven away and left us all, we wouldn’t have faulted you… That’s the protocol. Heath knew that…”

“Does that make it easier for you?”

“No. But, we shouldn’t make it harder on each other, either…” Jalicia sighed, rolled her eyes and let more tears fall. “I’m sorry, Jalicia. Heath was the first person in the warehouse that I ever cared about. I would trade myself for him, if I could.”

“He’d never let you,” she hung up and reached out for Xander. He accepted her hand. “I was mean to you…”

“You were honest. It just fucking hurts. Heath was the backbone of this family, and everyday he isn’t here, I lose more and more respect and control. He kept me grounded.”

“Doesn’t Sunny do that too?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe you don’t let it be. Maybe the reason Heath was your rock was because you thought that you only needed one. That’s what I did, too. I didn’t even realize how much of my life revolved around him until I was just spinning in space, with nothing to pull me back. Why do you think I moved in with your ass?”

“To split rent.”

She gave a resigned shrug, but shook her head, “I thought that it would make things better, if even just to put me in a spot where I could just not think about it and not be alone. I figured I wouldn’t get over it, but that at least I would logically be able to grant myself some peace because you’re there too, and that there would be some type of comfort. Not emotionally. That’s gonna take more time than I even believe that I have left in this world. But… at least I wanted that solid ground to stand on, to be able to say, Heath would want his two favorite people to lean on each other and find some strength in his absence.” Xander sniffled. She finished, “But it didn’t matter, and I don’t even know what to do, because I thought that being around you would guarantee some balance, even if it didn’t truly help… I still have all of my grief, and I’m..” she whimpered, “So tired. And empty. And distant. My closest living friend is sitting right next to me, and I have been so alone…”

Xander pulled the van over, unlatched his seatbelt and hugged her. She wasn’t done. She was so focused on her train of thought that she hadn’t even actually noticed that Xander was hugging her. “Heath was always in my life. Before any other human that I can remember. Like, logically, I know that Grace took care of Todd and Heath took care of me… but… I don’t even remember anybody else until maybe I was 5 or 6. I know he wasn’t the only person around, but in my mind, he was. I have NO frame of reference that doesn’t involve him. He was…” She finally realized both that Xander was already holding her and that she was crying again.

She remembered something. She was 4 or 5, her brain was never good at that part. She wasn’t in school or anything. All of her special days were simply moments and occurrences. This particular occurrence. A boy with light hair, getting hurt really bad by the stewards. Heath covered her eyes and started talking about flowers. He found a new book about them. He’d help her try to read later. The noise of the boy being beaten up was in the background, but at the time, she was too young to pay any attention to it and listen to Heath. So, she listened to Heath and the beating was background noise filtered out. Afterwards, he took her to the side of the building and let her pick flowers for their new friend. The new boy was mean. He was mean to Heath and Grace had to help Heath. Then, he was nice. She looked at Xander’s face and saw that same boy, just as hurt and just as angry as the first day she recalled a memory of him.

“He wasn’t always in mine… but he was the first person who was ever just nice to me for no reason other than to be nice,” Xander said. “There’s nothing that I want more than to punish a person who would take him away from us, but to have Simon, SIMON, give us that…” He was red in the face and shaking his head. “He’s using it to get to Grace, and I just didn’t want to give him that kind of power.”

“Then why didn’t you just say, ‘Hey, lets not tell her where we got the information?’ If you had just sent it to her with X confirmed, instead of fighting me in traffic…”

“You didn’t give me a chance!”

“I just… This ONE thing, then maybe I can move on.” He nodded and buckled back in. “I’ll get to work on the logistics. In case Grace gives us the go ahead, I want to be ready to move as soon as possible.”

.

Simon pulled his hair up into a high ponytail. He was going to try to get it into a bun, but it had been getting longer and thicker, and while he’d normally just pull the top part into a pony and let the rest hang, but it was windy and he was going to be pretty active, so high ponytail, it was. He had been checking out the X that he gave Jalicia, to see if they were going to make a move on him. He wasn’t positive of the typical turnaround time on an X, so he simply went to watch every night. He wasn’t going to do the car. Dude was in security. He’d probably make him.

Instead, he parked around the block and went to a big tree across the street from the X’s home to post up. He had binoculars and an awkwardly applied hunting tree seat. It wasn’t made for him to be up this high, but he situated it only to have a seat that wasn’t tree bark. He spent the time that he wasn’t watching the house on social media, checking out Sunetra’s pages… which… apparently she went by “Sunny…” which… Simon noted to himself that he had seen a little sun tattoo on Xander, and whenever he came across Sunny’s very tasteful artistic nudes, he saw that she had a little tattoo, as well, on her chest, of an “X.”

Her photos were really nice and she seemed to… possibly be a stripper? He checked a few of her posts and captions. She hashtagged #burlesque in some of them, so maybe not a stripper, but something risque. She was in the fine arts program in college, for dance and had many posts from the Infinity Foundation of her doing dance workshops, yoga, and stuff. She had a lot of witchy posts, too. Simon rolled his eyes, but kept scrolling. Several of her posts were really funny. He noticed a yoga and meditation program that she would be doing at a community center and saved the post.

He watched the X for about a week and a half when he saw the van pull up. In the dark, he couldn’t tell who people were, but two had gotten out and through the binoculars, he could tell that Xander was one and the other was Jalicia. He checked the van. That was an unfamiliar one behind the wheel, but he presumed that it was Sunny or 808, and that he simply couldn’t see them... There was a loud noise and screaming in the house. He turned to see that Jalicia had a knife to a woman’s throat while Xander was escorting the X out, with his hands up. He got him to the van, injected something into his neck and tossed him in. Jalicia unhanded the woman, but appeared to take a bag along with her and the woman ran next door.

Jalicia had taken all the phones with her. The woman had to run next door to call the police. Simon realized that she was probably doing that, and he got out of the tree to get back to his car. If he hurried, he might be able to catch the van!

He went the direction that they had, and when he came to what he thought might be them, he put on a mask of his own, but it was a medical mask, just because that was… possibly not as weird as if he wore like a clown mask or something. They had NOT handled that in the way that he expected. Something told him that they either were rushing or desperate. He wondered why.

But, whenever they pulled the van into an old train station, he parked behind the building and got out of his car. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up.  

He could hear their voices, and he followed the sound of them, but didn’t come from the shadows of the building. They were dragging the bag into a field that Simon knew that he had passed several times in his life, but never paid much attention to. Nobody really did. Was this where they buried them? He wondered. He only saw Jalicia and Xander, pulling the body bag with one hand and carrying shovels in their free hands. Where was the driver? He went around the other side of the building and the van was pulling off. Where were THEY going? He couldn’t start his car. Jalicia and Xander weren’t far enough away to not hear him. He groaned and went to look back towards the field. He couldn’t see anything beyond the tall grass, but he used his phone to try to record where they were… maybe he could find it in the daytime. Besides, they were now far enough away that he could start his car without alerting him. He felt like he had enough.

Simon drove home, wary of a van behind him for a portion of the way. He took some loops and turnarounds that he wouldn’t usually take before he was comfortable that they weren’t following him and it wasn’t the van… but after he got home, he noticed at the bottom of the hill a van, and it looked like the van that they used. It looked like the van that he was nervous might be following him. But. There was no way that the van had found him after those turns. Was it one of them, just letting him know that they knew he had followed them?

He rushed inside and looked out of the curtains. They were there for a moment. They turned the van off and he took a deep gulp and reached for one of his guns. They got out of the van and stood, staring up at the house. DEFINITELY APEX. This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.

They stared, wearing a gold mask, a tam hat, and the all black outfit that he had gotten used to, but then not seen for a while. “Grace!” He said. He put his gun down and rushed out of his door. “Grace?” He called, but she rushed back into the van, tossed something out, and peeled off. “Grace…” He ran down the hill and out to the road. She was gone… He looked down to see what she had thrown down on her way off. It was a Stop sign with a red squiggly line underneath the word “Stop.” He picked it up, roared and began to smash it against the pavement, before flinging it into the middle of the road and going back into his house. He called Jalicia and she looked at her phone, not recognizing the number, so she answered it. “Hello?”

“Was that Grace?” a voice asked.

“What?”

“The person who just followed me home and told me to stop. Was that Grace?”

“No,” was all that she said. He hung up. She put her phone away.

“Who’s that?” Xander wondered.

“Non issue,” she said. It wasn’t a complete lie, and there was no way that she was about to ruin their night with… whatever that had been about. She and Xander were still digging when their third came walking up, her gold mask on her face and a shovel in hand. “Girl, where did you rush off to?”

“I knew he was gonna still be alive,” she said and pulled up the mask onto her head. Sunny. “Had to make a stop,” she said with a shrug. She and Jalicia stared at each other a moment, and Xander kept digging, oblivious to the exchange of them questioning each other with their eyes. It was short lived, because Grace was connecting for the video call. “Hey, Girl, Hey!” Sunny cheered.

“Bitch, I’m so mad that I’m not there right now.”

“Be mad at Jimona,” Sunny said.

“Simon!” Grace said, laughing. Then, more solemnly, said, “Draw a squiggle right across his face, for me.”

“Sure will,” Sunny said, pulling her knife out. “What are you listening to, Woman?”

Grace checked the info on her streaming, “Hurts by Emeli Sande.”

“That’s dope. Send me the link to that.”

.

Simon was at the apartment now, crying and sitting in front of the cameras. He wondered if she would return with them, but looking at the feeds he had placed to check the outside of their homes, he noted that the three entered Xander and Jalicia’s home at 3:47 am… and that… wasn’t Grace. It was the woman that he had initially identified as, “One who looks like Grace.” It was Sunny… He flared his nostrils and set an alert to remind him about the yoga and meditation at the community center.

His phone began to ring while it was in his hands. It was a private number. For a moment, he let his heart accelerate. “Hello?” He answered.

Silence. He sighed and almost hung up, but… he felt something. His tears stopped, he sat up erect and waited. She was silent, still. He was afraid to break it, but more afraid of her losing whatever nerve she had at the moment and hanging up. So, he dared to speak. He kept his voice soft and low. Gentle, like he knew she would remember him being. “Hey…” He said. He heard her sniffle and it tore at his heart. “Hey,” he managed to say even softer. “Are you okay?” She sniffled again. “Tell me what I can do to make you okay?”

“Why did you do that, Simon? Why did you?”

“I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to know you. I wanted you… I didn’t know what to do. I was desperate. I am desperate. Please, tell me where you are…”

“You let Xander catch you.” There was the longest pause since the conversation started. Eventually, she spoke again. “I feel like the kids walked in on me doing something dirty…”

“I feel like it’s none of ‘the kids’ damn business what we do.”

“They can’t see stuff like that. They can’t see me being followed and watched, obsessively. They can’t just move on from that. You have no idea the kind of people who… Why did you have a gun?”

“Because, I had just been attacked by somebody that I know is a murderer and I was on edge…” They were quiet again. “I can keep them out of sight from now on. I can keep them away from you, at all times…”

“If I come back into town, my crew is gonna get… difficult. It won’t be safe for you.”

“I can’t prove myself to them? To you? Did you see what I found for them? For Heath? For Jalicia?... For you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Jalicia told me right away…”

“You sound like you’re smiling,” he observed, daring to smile, himself.

“I can’t help it… but… we can’t… do this, Simon.”

“Don’t…”

“We’re both in really weird places and us coming together isn’t good… for either of us, I think…”

“Please…”

“We shouldn’t be together, see each other, anything. You should… get on with your life.”

“No!”

“Bye, Simon.”

“NO!!” She hung up. He bit into his lip so hard that he drew blood, trying to keep his composure. He couldn’t even go to the gun range right now! But.. He could… go back to that field. He knew where it was. He knew where the bodies were now… he… was running out of patience, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t her fault. The longer they kept her away from him, the more confused she would be. She just needed to understand that he was on her side. If she couldn’t… she would have to learn that there were consequences for going against him.

13. A Shot in the Dark Pt 1

[prismcaster]

I just had the most amazing experience!!!

I am going to do a little back story here, because it has been quite a while since my last post...

So, my grandfather, who was the the only person in my entire 35 years of existence that I never felt the need to question if he really loved me. Any way, super long story, shortened because I don’t feel like getting into that right now, he passed away three months ago.

In the time since then, i began to question my choice of kicking spiritualism from my life. You see, since my father, i chose that purposefully, because calling him dad would insinuate that he ever truly gave a fuck about me, or my sister.... but anyway, he used and still probably does, use his religion as an excuse to punish his children for doing him wrong.... which is typical narcissistic behavior.

Which speaking of, i recently read a book called Narcissistic Father, and it literally explained him to me perfectly! It actually made the fact that he has something wrong with him mentally, make me feel so much better about myself somehow.... because well, it turns out, it really is his fault, and none of it is mine. So definitely check out that book!

So since I have all these odd feelings for him because of these things... I cast “religion” out of my life completely. I figured, religion had to be fake, because no religion would keep a parent from their child, so i cast it out 100%. It was so bad, i began to believe that when you die, you just go. I believed that when you go, there is nothing, it just ends, and that your body decomposes, giving it back to the earth you were born from, and that is that.

Then the depression came in. Because there is nothing. Nothing else. And if I couldn’t have my family back, the way i thought it should be, and that at the end of all this pain, there truly is nothing, then what is the point in being in pain forever? And contemplated suicide while laying in the floor in my art studio in complete darkness.

But i thought,” that’s stupid, you didn’t die from cancer and you’re thinking about this right now?! What the fuck, you idiot!” And i got up off the floor, switched the light back on, wiped the tears from my eye’s, and started to draw again. This eventually led to me cutting my arm open, and telling someone months later, and finally getting the help i needed to be able to get better.

Therapy was such a blessing. I truly recommend it. Talking about your problems with someone you are literally paying to listen to you, and paying to keep their opinions to themselves, is a blessing in and of itself. I also strongly suggest journaling. When ever i felt bad, i would write to myself... it helped me explain what i was feeling to myself so that i could finally start to process what was actually happening in my mind so that I could start to slowly solve my own problems.

As i did this, a strange sense of accomplishment came over me suddenly, as i realized that the saying is true, you have to create your own happiness, and also, that you have to love yourself if you ever hope to love anyone else.

So i kept working on myself, and one day, my sister mentioned to me that she had picked up a ouija board at a garage sale. Immediately, for some reason, i said, let’s do it! And we called our other sisters, and planned our first seance. The four of us went all out. We put white candles everywhere , took it very seriously, and experienced the magic of ouija for the first time.

Now, it took a while of hitting dead ends which what we were communicating with, but one day, the mother lode of insane things happened! My cousin came through the board, and after confirming neither of us were moving the planchette, and that this truly was who they said they were, i realized that the end isn’t really the end, but that there really is more, and my life started to change more and more.

I eventually decided that since I didn’t enjoy coloring any more, that I should make a coloring book instead, that way other people can color my art work, and make it their own.

Then, in the midst of this, I decided that I wanted to make my own ouija board, but not call it a ouija board.... so the google searches began.

My sister and I started a podcast, and i used that as an excuse to do an episode on the ouija board, as an excellent excuse to do deep dive research on the boards themselves.

Using this info, I knew I needed to make a spirit board, so I started to work on drawing a design, while also trying to figure out how to make it.

One day I realized “hey, i could make this design up on my ipad and turn the background off, and turn this into a png file, and cut it out with your cricut!”

So i immediately set to work on that, while still trying to figure out how to make them. Finally one day, i discussed this idea with my husband, and he suggested resin on wood. And so it began.

So far, i have made around 30 or maybe more, boards, and yet, i still do not have my own! Maybe some day! Anyway, so that was done and in progress, I left my job that was sucking me dry physically and emotionally, started pushing myself harder, was finally trying to live my life for me, instead of trying to live it the way i thought my father would have wanted me to.

I was truly happy.

And then my grandpa left us.

I collapsed hard. But I had to try to keep it together at the same time because my grandma needed me... my mom needed me.... and my sisters needed me. I fought it as long as i could.... but eventually i broke under the pressure, and re visited my therapist, whom I have decided I am just going to continue to see monthly just in case.

Turns out, I was handling grief the right way.... which I am sure surprised her a little, being as how she had diagnosed me with ptsd a few years prior.

Since his passing, i have not touched a board, or held a pendulum, and not because I am afraid he will talk to me.... but because I am afraid that he won’t. As a 100% Irish Catholic man, I am not sure if he would come through the board or not, although, i do think that he would think it would be funnier than hell to scare us.

I have however found something to believe in. Paganism. No judgements, no frills, just love, paganism, and I will never look back.

After I decided to “come out of the broom closet” so to speak, and openly declare that I am a magical being, things started changing fast...

I finished my coloring book, and most importantly, feel mentally healed. I can’t even begin to explain it, but I will try....

First, after grandpa’s passing, I realized I had learned a few things. For example, that you shouldn’t take those you love for granted, which is when i realized he was the only person who had shown me unconditional love my entire life, no matter what. I also learned from that, the passing of the person who took care of me like a dad, that all I was doing was punishing myself for something someone else did, and that I needed to stop. And you know why?! Religion!

The same damn thing that i tried so hard to keep out.

You see, my grandpa was a wonderful dude. In my entire existence, i never heard him say a negative word about anyone. And most notably, whenever he heard me say anything bad about anyone, he would tell me that I couldn’t change them, but I should say a prayer for them.

It was this phrase, which i had repeated to me over and over again, that now finally made sense after finally realizing the true power of religion. You see, I couldn’t change my father, but, I could change the way he effected me. So, i made a little testament outloud, i moved on.

But then i realized, that if that was the case with that, maybe I needed to be more open to the idea, of religion being legitimate. So i started some research again. But this time, as homework for the tribe I was planning to join. I researched goddesses, because If I was going to pick a deity to start working with, they had to be a strong female.

First up, came Athena. And i truly believe she has been with me, allowing me to get through all of my life’s battles, without me even knowing, for years.

I studied greek mythology in college because I was fascinated by it, and was floored by the parthenon, and the giant statue of Athena that stood inside, and even insisted on visiting the replica while in Tennessee for my sister’s birthday.

Coincidentally, it also turns out that she is the goddess if wisdom, arts, and crafts, so i knew she was the one for me.

Tonight, after my full initiation into the group, i went to the full moon ritual, and was asked some very prying questions by what I will refer to as the “mega crone” and I was forced to question a lot about my choices right then, in front of everyone, and ended up crying while explaining all of that to them , and not really all that well.

But i left there thinking that I needed to let go of the idea of needing to know everything, and just go with the flow.... knowledge is nice, but too much knowledge can have it’s downfalls as well. But also left me wondering how I ended up on this path.

So here i am, telling a long ass background story to get to the damn point!

I was feeling emotional after getting home, and decided to light a candle for my great aunt who is in the hospital, and try to meditate for a while.

Normally, when I try to meditate, I don’t feel anything, and also don’t normally see much, but It’s like I can envision it, even though I can’t actually see it... imagination! Which is something I had cast out of my life a long time ago as well.

So tonight i was ready. Whatever happened was going to happen.... and if grandpa communicated with me while i was meditating I would deal with the emotions and just go on. I turned on my favorite meditation video, and jumped right in... and it fuckin worked! I could feel the ground and see lights, it was so magical! I wish I could explain the trees!

Then, after i processed that I am magical, that I can truly take my own pains away, which set off a mini party if thoughts in my mind, i refocused, and realized that athena had actually been with me my whole life. She got me to grandpa somehow when he was living thousands of miles away, so that I could continue to see and feel what true love is. She was with me through the shit storm that was my youth... and stood with me as i learned to fight for myself, and get up.

It was right now that I realized I am truly magical.... i am loved.... i am perfect the way i am..... i am enough. And if anyone ever should stumble upon this ramble, and stuck with it until now.... know that you are all of those things too! And if you don’t agree, i hope maybe my path will inspire you to get to know yourself, and see what incredible, life changing things could be in store for you.

[miomediator]

Homestuck - Heart and Mind

Inner self and outer self

Content/trigger warnings: Heart: blood, decapitated heads, flashing colors, eye strain

Mind: flashing lights, repetitive looped gif

Very veeeery long thread!

Heart

I’m going to be honest, this is the more head-scratching (ha!) symbol of the 12, in my opinion. While the others immediately (or take a moment to) make sense, this one confuse me. Sure, it’s a cartoonish representation of a pink human heart.

The problem isn’t the main shape, but the right side of it. Beside the fact that it’s more original and eye-catching than a filled heart, why this gap, this wiggling line? But let’s proceed in order and take a more general approach first.

It’s a pink heart on a darker purple/pink background. The left side is filled, while the right side looks like a tail that coming in or out the shape. We’ll get into it a bit down below.

In pop and universal culture, people has always been show this embodiment of the heart. While many theorise about when and where it came from, a stable origin was registered during the Middle Age, as a pear.

Here’s an exempt of the theory:

“Historically speaking, the first known depiction of a heart shape, which can be vaguely considered as a symbol of love, was made in the 1250s. It appeared in a decoration of a capital letter “S” in a manuscript of a French romance called “Roman de la Poire” (Romance of the Pear). 

This miniature depicts a kneeling lover who offers his heart to a lady. This heart shape is similar to a pine cone, and it is held upside down (not in the usual position of the heart shape that we know today). Researchers only assume that the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden. The name of this novel is “Romance of the Pear,” so the object may also be a pear.”

The earliest depiction of a heart symbol as a symbol of love in a manuscript of the “Roman de la Poire.”

[Mio’s note: Roman actually means novel in french, and isn’t necessarily romantic. Though I guess it is in this context.]

It is interesting, in this paragraph the heart is both referred as pine cone-shaped and pear-shaped. The latter is extremely funny, has it reminds me of a famous fanon HS meme “Well this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped”, attributed to Dirk and the decapitation joke. He, in fact, never really said it in Canon.

If we indulge this banter, the pear-shaped heart would symbolise things that took a disastrous turn, and so negative and stressful elements such as anxiety, adrenaline (negative in this case, positive in others), heart pounding, leaving a weird and unpleasant sandy taste on your tongue.

But I digress.

What we actually need to focus on is that:

A fruit, the pear, has been associated to a love gesture, like a gift to express romantic affection to someone.

The pear is upside-down, as the text point out. Which is curious and worth mentioning.

“the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden”. So what is important it’s what is inside it, and so inside your heart. Which perfectly echoes with my subhead: Inner self.

The article continues, with Guido whom also depicted his version of a heart:

“Guido da Vigevano, a 14th-century Italian physicist, made some anatomical drawings of a heart that are very similar to the descriptions made by Aristotle. These depictions, along with the presumption that the human heart is connected with emotion and pleasure, transformed the heart shape into a symbol of medieval love.”

After this, a picture shows Charity incarnated as a woman, giving her heart to Jesus. While I won’t dwell on the religious implications, it is a metaphor of showing care and compassion to someone. Giving them a bit of your time, patience, and heart. In an extreme case, being completely devoted to someone in a strong way. 

Heart-bound fellows, despite the fact that they are concerned about themselves, are very people-oriented. They deeply want others to feel well and happy. Hence the expression being ‘kind-hearted/big-hearted’, and ‘work you heart out’. They put a lot of themselves into their hobbies, which they are passionate about.

After this, the article introduce the playing cards, implying that Guido had an influence on the decision to show a heart among the symbols:

The playing cards are even more relevant to this analysis, as their modern symbol are present in Troll romance. Here, the ‘clover’ is an acorn, the ‘spade’ a leaf, perhaps ivy, the heart is even more like the one we know nowadays, and the ‘diamond’ surprisingly is a small metallic bell. This set is dated from ~1540.

[Sources: this site about the origins of the red heart]

That was a (very) quick look at the evolution of the heart symbol.

I could go on and talk about Valentine’s Day, but it would be paraphrasing the site, and we have much more content to focus on. I invite you to take a look at said site and do some research of your own if you are interested about this peculiar bit.

Let’s go into more direct Homestuck content.

During the adventure, we are introduced to three Heart-players. Nepeta Leijon, Dirk Strider, and Meulin Leijon, in appearance order.

They all have interests related to feelings and love.

Nepeta has a shipping grid of her own friends on her cave’s walls and seems to be proficient in moirallegiance, a quadrant that require to be invested and devoted to their partner feelings. She had a crush on Karkat that she never confessed. Karkat knew but never worked the nerve to do something about it.

Dirk is engrossed by romance and smut, unashamedly draw his friends getting frisky (in a borderline-obscene way), is passionate about the projects he works on (work his heart out, sometimes literally). He was (and still is) madly in love with Jake. But by being overbearing and socially inept their relationship crumbled (while not being the only reason it didn’t work out).

[I love talking about Dirk, but I’ll do my best in this analysis to properly and equally split the content between Nepeta, Meulin and him] 

Meulin not only love shipping, she also gives directly advises to her friends, and acted as a matchmaker. She shipped several of the alpha trolls but according to Aranea, she focused on how cute a couple would be, instead on how and if their dynamic would work out. Her matespritship with Kurloz was cut short when he yelled in his sleep, deafening Meulin in the process.

Meulin talking about shipping the human teens, transcript from the Openbound game, part 2

The most obvious element they share is that they are zealous and unlucky in love. One would say it depends on the class, personality or aspect. They seem all correct assumptions to me.

Nepeta was the first to be presented as a Heart-bound character, the Rogue of Heart. So, logically, the design of the Heart symbol could be inspired by her.

How, you ask. Let’s take a look to Nepeta’s sign.

The ‘Leo’ sign, in human culture represents the constellation of the lion, with the circle as their head, and the loop as the body and tail.

Now looking back and forth to Leo and Heart: Heeeey! It’s quite similar. Can you see it?

Alright, that’s a good start. So the right side is like a tail. Let’s dig and look around Heart/heart. Heart is synonym of soul. Its symbol is a pink blood pusher. For humans it represent romantic love, our only ‘official’ quadrant. A red lover for trolls is called a matesprit. Sprit comes from esprit, which is the french word for spirit. So matesprit is a soul mate. But this term is used for another concept in Homestuck. A spiritual guide during the player journey: a sprite.

The link between the Leo and Heart sign is getting stronger. The circle as the head, the wiggling line as the body and tail. The sprite is a living spirit, a floating soul present in the physical plane. So the right side, the tail, is bound to the left side, the head. Meaning the soul is bound to the body. Oh. But what if it was detached from it? Yeeep, you know, I know, they know. This is why and how decapitation come into the picture.

Beheaded Dirk and Roxy hit in the stomach, from the [S] Dirk: synchronize

Jasperosesprite^2 prototyping Nepeta’s decapitated head in Jake’s kernelsprite

A kiss on the lips, which is seen often as a romantic gesture, is one of the resurrecting mechanism within SBURB/SGRUB. It transfers the soul from the ‘original’ body to the dream self, turning the latter into the main body. Separating the head from the rest of the body amounts to take away the soul, while throwing the head back (or any part of the corpse) into a kernelsprite recreate the link between the two. 

 A kernel is: 

“ a computer program at the core of a computer's operation system with complete control over everything in the system. It is an integral part of any operating system. It is the "portion of the operating system code that is always resident in memory". It facilitates interactions between hardware and software components.””

Source: Wikipedia

It’s a brain that bound the soul to the body, and is the core of the system, controlling it. So basically, the digital mind made in SBURB. One display among the several ones of the Heart/Mind duality.

So wait, if the head in this case is the soul, and looking back at medieval picture at the beginning (dude kneeling in front of a lady offering a heart) then Dirk sendificating his head in [S] Dirk Synchronize/Unite is really a romantic overture toward Jake (sacrificing a part of his self then Hal prompting him to kiss Dirk’s lips). Same for Jasperose resurrecting Nepeta by using her head. Damn. You two are smooth operators in the most disturbing way.

Another personal theory in my mind, is that pink ‘tail’ could represent how a person use and interact with their aspect.

Nepeta, as a Rogue, remove or give personality, passion and feelings to someone. 

For example she could appease a friend by removing their frustration. In contrary she could also give passionate feelings to someone who needs them. Such as in Ni no Kuni! In which the protagonist Oliver takes a piece of somebody’s soul (what is called emotion or virtue) to give it to someone who needs it. Those people are referred to “brokenhearted”.

So the wiggling tail would be something introduced or take away from the soul.

Dirk, as a Prince, has shown having the power to completely remove someone’s soul from their body. 

And for that, he doesn’t like his abilities, exhibiting him as a ‘cartoonish villain’ like Voldemort (splintering his soul into horcruxes) or Xehanort (putting part of himself in the Organization members). Though he could remove and grab one of his friend’s soul to save them from a close death. See the fan comic Double Death of the Author by The Lifetime Channel on MSPFA, and the fan fiction Defragmentation by Katreal on Ao3.

In this case, the tail would represent the soul being slowly removed.

Meulin, as a Mage, have an understanding of people’s strong feelings, especially romantic ones. 

Her ability is to read, feel and use her knowledge to help her friends figure out who is better suited for them. Meulin’s powers are similar to a diviner, allowing to form or break a couple. Perhaps with practice and reaching the God Tiers, she could even perceive red threads of fate which bound two lovers regardless of the location and time. The manga Bound Beauty (sorry, no english Wikipedia page) features a young lady with the ability to see those strings, usually invisible to the eye. She uses it at her advantage to coach her classmates, in exchange of money.

In this case, the tail would represent the red/pink thread of fate, coming not from the pinkie, but directly from the soul.

Heart-bound recommended Lyricstuck: What do you want from me by Pink Floyd

Mind

Watch as I make as much Mind puns as possible :p

This one is easier to read, which is also why it will be difficult for me to write a substantial section about it. Let’s start with the obvious.

It’s a vivid teal on a bit darker green background. Same as the Heart aspect, it’s more likely that the palette has been inspired by the first revealed character related to Mind: Terezi Pyrope, from the Teal caste. The shape is composed of an orb surrounded by three hook-like tails connected to the center. What effortlessly come to mind (ha!) is an organic cell, from the brain.

Picture source: https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/784048616363923971/

Neurons allow and facilitate informations to navigate in the brain. 

It’s:

an electrically excitable cell that communicates with other cells via specialized connections called synapses.

Source: Wikipedia

Information goes from a neuron, through a synapse to another neuron. An idea leads to another, connecting bits that turns into the big picture. The Mind aspect seems to share the concept of data with the Light aspect. The differences are that Light focuses on the most fructuous parts, ones that lead them to victory, while the Mind-bound works with choices and a mindset, in a more wide range, then narrowing the paths.

Terezi using her vision to s33 what action leads to which outcome, searching for the most fitting one.

Rose insisting that Kanaya come along the 3 years ride, while explaining and guiding Kanaya to make her narrowing her vision of “victory”.

So both Seer treat information, just not in the same way. 

The outcome still remains ”I want to advance toward a certain reality and I help others to reach it as long as they follow my instructions”. The inconvenient blind spot (sorry for the involuntary pun) is that they hardly can use those abilities for themselves. Either we don’t witness it on-screen, or they barely do it in the first place (a good example is the retroactive continuity during the GO timeline).

But let’s end the Seer detour here. Back to the Mind aspect itself.

We have a whole system going on in our own head. When I try to look for something, if I don’t find it directly, then I turn to something related to said information. Like an indirect research on the internet. If we don’t pay attention and don’t try to understanding our mind, as well as others’, we just end up being frustrated and lost.

The thing is you make your own world, with every action, decision, it creates a new path full of possibilities. The words you say or keep to yourself, acting or staying put, it all matter. Grasping and managing to own it, and you’ll have a better grip on your reality. It’s not my Aspect, I do have trouble making decisions and take responsibilities, however everybody needs to go through it.

The within interacts with the without, the mind to the outside word. We are always worried about how others perceive us, what kind of depiction of the self we convey. So we desperately put filters to the point of exhibiting falsehood of a personality. While introspection is observing ourselves, extraspection is perceiving things that are outside our mind. Hence the outer self, complementary to the inner self.

Terezi perfectly get how people work, and can manipulate them with ease, in contrary to Vriska whom doesn’t want to and go for mind-controlling them. Joke’s on her, her ‘mind’-control is proof that she fails in this peculiar category, since Terezi doesn’t need any psychic powers to convince someone to do and give the info she desires.

The big contrast contrast between Vriska and her, is that Terezi looks and determine what matters or not, while Vriska force the odds to be in her favor, shamelessly stealing fortune from others. She doesn’t even want to understand or try, she is a cheater and proud of it.

That was the link and differences between Mind and Light.

Let’s take a look at the Heart/Mind duality again. Both seem to share a connection with electricity.

Terezi gazing at the sky of her planet, the Land of Thought and Flow

It’s no secret that the connection between neurons are often compared to electronic chips. Cables canalize and facilitate electricity’s flow, to power devices, to link ideas and data. Or just used as raw energy.

Brain-not-so-ghost-anymore Dirk trying to rip Aranea’s soul

Lightning seen from a building roof on Dirk’s land

While the electricity for the Mind symbol refer to synapses, for the Heart/heart, also called blood pusher, would allude to cardiac nerves.

Bec Noir preparing the Red Miles to be thrown at the Genesis Frog

Instead of thoughts, it’s blood that navigates in the ‘roads’.

For the Heart-bound, the lightning represents the chaos that are emotions and sensitive intuition. While for the Mind-bound the lightning is order, reasoning and cold logic that strikes to bring justice, whether said justice is deem fair or not.

Let’s talk about a famous movies series in which among the core themes resolve around the Mind/Heart duality: The Matrix

Each building, tree, person are made with an inimaginable amount of lines of code

The Matrix spoilers ahead!!

If you’re not familiar with this trilogy (or haven’t watch it in a while), here’s the plot:

//Thomas A. Anderson is a programmer for a big software company, and in parallel is Neo, a hacker that illegally provides contraband programming. Agents in black suits caught up with his activities, but in truth approached Neo because a renowned hacker, Morpheus, enemy number one according to Agent Smith, contacted the programmer. After offering to clean his criminal record in exchange of helping catching Morpheus, which Neo refuses, the agents violently implant a snitch in our protagonist.

Neo wake up in his bed, believing it was all but an awful nightmare. Appearances are deceiving, as ‘dream sequences’ are layers on layers on reality. The resistance group calls him again, setting a rendez-vous under a bridge to help him and answer his questions, if he is willing to cooperate.

After a lot of hesitation, snitch removal, and the insistence of one of the member, Trinity, he finally accept and follow the group to go meet Morpheus.

There, Neo is given a choice, The Choice if we’re going with Homestuck comparisons: 

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Morpheus, Matrix (1st movie)

By choosing the take the red pill, Neo accepts to unplug himself (literally) from his ‘reality’ and see the truth: the world he lives in is all but an illusion, a huge program that is the Matrix, blinding humans to a make-believe 1999 year, used as living batteries, harvested and enslaved by the machines. Humanity is in ruins, and a war between people and machines has gone for a whole century.

Morpheus tells him that they believe he’s ‘The One’ and he has the power to stop the war. From the real world, Neo will train to reinforce his mind, going back into the Matrix and fight different enemy programs. While constantly being undergo introspection, looking for what to believe, who he is, questioning his values and acts.\\

From there I’ll go back and worth to Homestuck and the movies to point out the similarities and support my choice.

I’ll begin with the Mind aspect first:

Millions of human beings are plugged, treated as programs that have a function, along with providing a great amount of energy to the machines. Stuck and having their body atrophied, their brain is connected to the Matrix. The program control everything of their life and vision, from their status in society, to their physical sensations.

"What is real? How do you define real?" asks Morpheus to Neo. “If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." As I quote farther above, reality is something that isn’t there, but rather something you make. With Morpheus’ quote, my interpretation of the Mind symbol being neutrons and synapses is consolidated.

After being blinded by Vriska, Terezi way of ‘seeing’ shifted. Slowly, her perception of things changed and she grasped on a new light her reality.

She didn’t need eyes, but expanding her mind and freeing herself from the vision that clouded her. Navigating inward and outward, understanding what she felt, her inner self and outer self, back and forth. But it wasn’t perfect, no, she had and still is working on it, as she can be blinded by either cold logic or passionate feelings. Neo and her have the same weakness, they both are in love and it obstructs their mission. The dilemma is exhibited in [S]: Flip, where she has to choose between letting Vriska go, exposing the whole team to Jack, or killing her to protect her friends.

Terezi, on the path she let Vriska go

Vriska in her ancestor outfit, fitting Jack in one reality

A painful sacrifice is needed to be able to go forward, a reality in which most of them survive and has a chance of winning the game. A necessarily path that she regretted.

Neo with the Architect in the secret room, the screens displaying the different paths his reactions could take (Matrix: Reloaded, second movie)

In Matrix, Neo has to reach the source of all the program to reinstall the previous version of the code. The first time, he has a small range of opportunity, only a few minutes gap to access a secret room that would allow him to reach the source, among the city of machines. There, he encounters the Architect, a program whom function and personality is based on the creator of the Matrix, and have a chat with him.

Six others chosen ones preceded him, and all failed to accomplished this mission.

Why? “Choice. The problem is choice” answers Neo. Because unlike the Architect, Neo is a flawed human being. He can’t just brush off his feelings, he’s in love with Trinity. The latter despite asked not to join him plugged herself back into the Matrix allowing him to get safely into the secret room. With that, she exposed herself to an inevitable death. And so Neo took the door that lead to his lover, enabling within him a miracle that resurrected Trinity. 

Here was a couple of paragraphs about the dance between duty and love, cold logic and passion.

I’ll continue with the Heart aspect:

I talked about love and romance until now, but let’s take a look at another side of the Heart. The identity.

After taking the red pill- Neo turns his head and gaze at a mirror.

It’s shattered. The symbolism here shows that he’s lacking a part of himself, something that scratch him without being able to put his finger on it. Soon, right before his eyes, the mirror mends itself. Because he chosen the truth, the path that would lead him to understand and find himself.

The mirror is of course, a reference and call back to Alice, mentioned shortly before by Morpheus. No no, please forget about any cartoon, especially Disney’s version of the story. And focus about the sequel book: “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There”. It’s a curious, deep and tricky book. I would know, I read it twice and I’m still confused.

But I’m sure of one thing, the adventures of Alice has always been about introspection. First in chapter 1, Alice imagines for fun that the mirror in the living room lead to a parallel world. Like Neo, she touches the mirror and engages into a journey. In chapter 3, in order to cross a giant life-sized chess board (UH HMMMM UNCANNY!) she takes a train. 

“There she forgets all nouns, including her own name. With the help of a fawn who has also forgotten his identity, she makes it to the other side, where they both remember everything. Realizing that he is a fawn, she is a human, and that fawns are afraid of humans, it runs off (to Alice's frustration).”

Source: Through the Looking-glass (wikipedia)

[going through the book itself would have been too long]

The train might symbolize the course of life, or a part of it, in which an identity crisis occurs for Alice and question what is and what does it means. I’ll even say that this temporary memory loss put aside all differences and precedences, perhaps reflecting a class hierarchy, between Alice the human and the fawn, or the rich lady and the poor.

Back to Matrix.

Later in the movie, our programmer encounters a woman called the Oracle. She can see some events according to her grasp on human psychology, but never beyond a choice that she cannot understand, not even hers. The Oracle isn’t here to predict the future (even if she can), but to assist and guide those who picked the red pill. She does sound like a Seer of Mind :]

Upon meeting her, she asks him “do you think you are the one?” to what he respond “honestly I don’t know”. She then point behind him, toward a mantra hanged above the threshold: Temet nosce, which means “know thyself”.

The introspection will continue through all three movies, a wild tango between certitude and doubts, self that leads to a choice, from a choice which leads to who he is, the two are intertwined and indivisible.

In Matrix: Revolution (third movie), the final battle between our protagonist and his alter ego take place. Rain is pouring, thousand and thousand of copies looking down at him, the sky is dark, and Agent Smith step away from the crowd, so the fight begins.

Remember the paragraph about the lightning? The sky in this scene is quite reminiscent to Terezi Land’s electric atmosphere, and even more Dirk’s, has his planet is covered be countless empty green buildings in ruins.

The scene portraits perfectly the confrontation between order and chaos, good and evil, selfless and selfish. I could go on and on but I think y’all got the concept, and I nicely fill an even bigger word quota, with the two aspects balanced.

Source for the screenshots: Fancaps.net, here and here

Mind-bound recommended Lyricstuck: Dog days are over by Florence and the Machine

[southern-belle-outcasts]

🎖- What is it that attracted you to your muse? & ⚓️ - What fatal error means you will instantly drop a thread?

@mynameisanakin

//I have...multiple muses. Sooooo, get comfy.

Obviously (not so obviously?), my brain children didn’t have anything in particular drawing me to them. They were just born, and they’re constantly revealing new shit as I write more, and pulling slick ones on me. I cannot be held responsible for anything these assholes do. They’re doing their own thing and I’m just along for the ride. Nilza is 9-10 years old (depending if you want to count the year I dabbled with her on goodreads before tumblr) and I’m still learning new shit. Farrar is months old and I’m high key still pulling out information from him. I don’t make the rules. They do.

I got drawn into Rogue, brace yourselves you new peeps that are comic snobs, via Wolverine and the X-Men tv show on being on Netflix at the time. Yes. I got into Rogue off a cartoon that wasn’t the original tv show OR the comics. Suck my left tit. I don’t care. After that I watched the XMCU movies, and then as I developed my blog on here, I started reading the comics, watching The Animated Series, and just researching via wiki and 616 rp blogs. So if you want to get bent out of shape, bet I had you fooled. I was running a movie/cartoon based blogs for years before I officially switched it to TAS, and then finally now just canon divergent 616. But I digress, what actually hooked me beyond Rogue’s power being badass (who the hell wouldn’t like the idea of being able to steal other powers or memories as needed?), I really liked her relationship dynamic with Logan where he wasn’t forcing her to be all happy sunshine and rainbows over her inability to touch people, but neither was he encouraging her to not accept her power. He was basically “yeah kid it sucks, so figure it out and use it as best you can”. She’s introverted, with good fucking reason, yet not shy of back talking anyone. Her moral leaning is to that of good but she’s also not going to let rules stop her. The eye roll at the insufferable goody two shoes people in her life, I feel on a spiritual level. Basically, I relate to Rogue a lot minus all the powers. Which I am constantly given shit for liking Rogue for the fact she’s OP as shit in the comics, and I’m just sitting here like “the Rogue I started off liking didn’t have all these bonus features, dude. I didn’t know they existed. No I’m not writing them away but I will better explain them or why I think she wouldn’t be thrilled to have them or use them excessively. Die mad about it, idk.”

Padmé was for the fact she’s so damn self assured and doesn’t have a hidden agenda. Don’t @ me about her using decoys and not telling people. That’s not deception that’s staying alive when you have active hits on you. It’s not the same and the people that want to bitch and moan about her being sneaky, blah blah blah, no one needs that in their life. Go away. Like for a politician to get into politics, and stay in politics, and be legitimately concerned about continuing to hold up her peoples’ best interests while at the same time having the rest of the welfare of the galaxy also held into consideration, and just be flat out honest up and front about it...even as a little kid I was immediately recognizing “this chick doesn’t give two shits- she’s not playing the game, and they’re trying to KILL her for it, and she just sticks to her guns harder. I’m in love.” So everyone that was like “waah Anakin couldn’t possibly be like ‘wow she’s incredible I want to marry that, he was too young for that’, hi 👋🏼 it me, I’m Anakin. I watched that shit when I was 8. And yeah, instacrush. Also looking back and realizing the Bi was strong in this one, it just wasn’t labeled as that yet 🙃 And I’m fully aware I am not, nor will I ever be, the confident badass that she is, and I’m okay with that. That’s what writing is for. Much easier to explore that with characters since they tend to write themselves, and not try to emulate things in real life since that doesn’t go well. And I never really dropped her so much as I went on hiatus on all my blogs, for over a year because life was poop, and THIS DUMBASS BEING KNOWN AS MYSELF...forgot what the fuck random email and password I used. I tried so many combinations. No success. So I’m just locked out forever, and since I have so few people for the fandom following Rogue’s original that I turned into my multi, I just relegate her to by request only.

As for what fatal error will cause me to drop a thread...there’s a few. Constantly write at me vs to me. If I’m giving you stuff to work with and react to, and I’m constantly being given next to nothing to actually engage with, I’m going to drop it. I’m not carrying a thread. That’s a chore, I’m not here to work. If you start attempting to fuck my muse out of nowhere. I’m not talking flirtations, I’m not paranoid, but like actually hands down pants, making out out of nowhere, etc with no interaction lead up and no discussions, nope. That tells me you didn’t read my rules, or you were like fuck it, and I just, can’t vibe with either. And it’s not like I don’t make my rules readily available by reblogging them on a weekly basis, pinning them to the top of my blog, etc. (I’m fully aware my theme is outdated af which is why I’m constantly telling people I will send character bios and rules in both asks and in posts so that people aren’t stuck clueless. I’m stuck on the app with no good functioning netbook, let alone a laptop. It’s been my pain for years now.) Most anything else is a failure to find muse for lack of plotting for the thread. Them’s the main reasons.