#i can never escape oh my god
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dakota spent all that time in the forest and still doesnt know the difference between a chicken and a turkey smh send him back
reminder my commissions are open :D
#my post#my art#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd#prime defenders season 2#just roll with it show#dakota cole#william wisp#fanart#i forgot william was in his biker gang outfit. oh well#its so funny my william design is based heavily off of whatever fanart ive seen but i pulled my dakota design out of my Heart#the first time i drew these guys i drew dakota in a wildly different style than the rest bcus i Knew in my Soul what he looked like#is he still just wearing the sports bra#wait i gave william the fuckign. virgil hoodie#but its blue instead of purple#i can never escape oh my god
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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stressed
I have to fight family again
#everybody hates meeeee#tomorrow is going to be so fucked#aunt literally said i tried to kill her???????? bro idk what to do with a person like that#im really really stressed#like it never got to physical violence or anything but im always scared it will cause it's just#getting more and more heated and i know she literally hates me right now#like usually she does the whole spiel about loving me sooo much but now she's convinced that#I'm against her#well i am#fuck that bitch#but well she's acting like a freaking cartoon villain#oh wel#well#but goddamn im really stressed rn#ok whatever i just needed to vent it's probably going to be fine#but like#i do feel like I'm planning a grand escape rn#and it SUCKS ASS#i really want to cut that woman out of my life or actually out of all of our lives cause she's just#traumatizing one person after the other#god i cant wait to be away from her so i can freaking relaxxx ToT#i can't believe i let myself fall for her tricks every single time and just believe shes good now AURGG#ok ok i just needed to vent this is so unreal for me rn I've been so stressed for days this is so frantic#whatever goodbye lmaooooooo#vent
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pretty privilege in general is a terrible tool. but when the racism that it's ingrained in really has a platform to activate, it's just absurd .
#if ure a pretty white boy. oh my goodness. roll out the red frickin carpet to all the fame attention & feminization in the world#omg hes so pretty. pretty like a woman. hes just like a woman. lets treat him like an object#everything he does isnt really his fault. hes just a girl bcs hes pretty. bcs hes pretty lets make him cry#lets do a deepdive into his character & pounce or paint any opportunity possible to find a villain in his life that isnt himself#meanwhile a poc person is pretty & theyre get a compliment sure#but never like. a normal one#they can get treated like a goddess or a god yea#but like. one that imposes fear and distance. only to be admired from a distance#if ure pretty and poc then ure an artifact to steal#if ure pretty and white then ure a crisp blank page for ppl to doodle out all their fantasies and plans for u to fold right along into#bcs ure pretty just like a girl: usable.#shit is just stacks on stacks on stacks of stagnant thinking stacked onto sick ideals#idk man#maybe im just going crazy bcs i hate too much of anything. getting irritable & tired from feeling trapped#cant ever escape anything bcs the very existence of escape implies the threat of capture
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ohhh my friend came over and we somehow ended up watching the entirety of tpn season one and ray still makes me so fucking sick. im goig to tear apart steel beams with my teeth
#skye's ramblings#THOUGH IM ALSO JUMPING AROUND SOO FAST BC SHE LIKED IT. shes like my only irl friend shes known abt my illness since the start#i take my ray plushie when i sleep over at her house she calls him my little guy. i genuinely didnt think it'd interest her much#we were literally just bored and she randomly picked up v1. 2 pages in she was like 'oh this is really addicting can i borrow this'#FELT AUTUSM KICK INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. said we could watch the anime n after ep1 she was like oh this is really good#cant describe how much i am jumping off tge walls in my mind. shes never been able to get into anime till now. i think i just won at autism#of course w the excitement comes escape arc ray once again hitting my brain with hammers god i love him so fucking much guys. i'm nauseous#it'll be 3 years since my first watch soon btw i wonder if ray emotions will ever stop making me physically ill. ifuckng love yuou raaay...
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This is my personal crossover event of the century
#one of my favorite actors and one of my favorite drivers interacting??? what???#alright whos gonna be the brave soldier and write the matt damon × mark webber rpf fic-#(i read a fic w james bond/seb so imo it really wouldnt be too far off to write Linus Caldwell/Mark LMAO)#ive known abt this event practically since i got into f1 but i feel like my thoughts abt it keep developing every time i look at them again#first time: huh okay wow brad pitt & matt damon taking w mark thats really wild. f1 drivers really do be meeting w high level celebs#after i watched fight club: wow wow!! i cant believe theres pics of brad pitt with mark thats crazy!#after i watched oceans 11: omg wait oh yeah! when mark was in jaguar he was sponsored by oceans 12!!! thats sick!!!#and then recently w my increasing love for Matt Damon: WAIT OH MY GOD MARK HAS INTERACTED WITH MATT!!!! (two worlds colliding feel ig)#but i was watching some interview w matt where they referenced this happening so its relevant in my brain again so i had to post abt it#but of course in the vid the specific pic on screen was him and mark interacting and i died. like seriously i can never escape f1 and mark#mostly im freaking out bcs its truly the crossover event of all time concerning my interests specifically#but the lore behind this is genuinely really really interesting#the fact that theyre promoting a heist movie specifically and then they put a $300k diamond in the nose of the Jaguar#and then the Jaguar crashed during the race and the diamond disappeared?????? cmon literally itself could be the plot to an Oceans movie#RBR/teams sponsored by RB were so much fun back in the day!!#they had several back to back movie promotions which all were pretty fun! just a shame neither team was good back then#it was Oceans 12->SW:ROTS->Superman right? i can't remember if there was another#such a shame that neither mark nor seb were in RBR in 2005 when RBR was promoting ROTS#i think i actually wouldve exploded if there were pics of them w hayden or ewan(my prev fandom haha)#f1#formula 1#formula one#mark webber#matt damon
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34. stars; for maggie and joe.
Maggie Evans hadn’t asked for much in life, and had let much of what she wanted pass her by: little trinkets she couldn’t afford, friends she had no time for, Joe Haskell, who’d never looked her way, until – Until he had. And then, crushingly, he hadn’t. If there were solace in knowing why Maggie was too far gone to feel it – seeing that thing’s teeth in his neck had made her throat own ache, and heart go light, as though she was scarcely tethered to life at all. Joe said he had to answer the door, after the knock came again – if she could only get him away from here, just as she had thought, those horrible weeks in the Old House, that if she could just run far enough away, she could be free of Barnabas – She took hold of his bedside lamp. Mouthing her silent apologies, thinking desperately of the moon and stars over a balmy sea, of some place in the world where no one had ever even heard of Collinsport – Maggie brought it down on Joe’s head with a dull thud.
send me a number and two (or more) characters, and get a five sentence drabble!
#god if i think to hard about how bullshit the end of 599 is i will start barking. frothing at the mouth. biting.#oh? maggie figured it out? maggie put it all together? finally can get some justice for everything barnabas (and jules) did to her?#could save joe from following the same path even if they're done forever?#lol no. this is no longer the 'women possess brains and agency show'.#BARK. BARK BARK BARK.#ahem.#anyway.#please enjoy five sentences in which maggie evans performs percussive maintenance on her ex; outwits a warlock; and escapes thru;#an open window. i hear she and joe got married in vegas and set up in a nice little coastal town in cali. they never went back to;#collinsport and lived happily ever after. <3#fic#my fic
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honesty accidentally saying off tumblr (and social media in general) for a week has been so chill. it feels like my mental health has improved (even tho i know it has not, actually), so i've decided to under no circumstances at all update my app and force me to experience tumblr in a much healthier way - through designated Computer Time (tm) on my laptop, which in contrast to my pone i do not bring with me at every occasion, lol
#maybe finally i can escape the clutches of the modern internet/the smartphone era of being Online All The Time Every Day#dragonowlie's random texts#my old ass version of the app does allow me to view activity and dms tho so i'll never be fully cut off from here lol#also oh my god i need to clean my laptop how much dirt is in this keyboard#edit: and/or also replace the graphics card because that bitch crashed TWICE after writing this. HOMIE ARE YOU ALRIGHT
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mhm. (✿◠‿◠)
oh my god :( he’s so gorgeous and pretty and beautiful and stunning he’s literally glowing my cheeks hurt from smiling sm he’s so pretty :(
#dreamy sigh.#thank u sm for sending this#and imprinting this in my mind for the rest of my life my dearest seph#i desperately need to have this video tattooed on the back of my eyelids#he’s never beating the prince allegations#i’m so in love with him :(#how can someone be so gorgeous#and his un-whitewashed skin tone oh my god#how do i kiss someone through the screen#he’s so dreamyyyyyyy#i love him i love him :(#i love u sm seph u always send stuff that makes me stare off into space#asks & responses <3#ᓭི༏ᓯྀ‧₊˚ — ♡ 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.#— jake?!#this ain’t no jake that’s prince jaeyun#this is getting too long but i can write literal paragraphs.#he literally looks like he escaped from a painting#how can someone be so ethereal#oh prince jaeyun.#— seph ! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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i would accept the joker if like, the brainiac brainwashing unlocked the joker locked in batman's mind though. a jokerfied batman is right there. then you don't even have to kill him. that'd be a blast.
#shitpost#like if batman was immune to mind control because like. if you put batman down the joker comes out. that'd be kind of wild#that would be like. actually challenging and complex in the narrative#it would be *gasp* playing with the existing story#fucking set me on fire please.#i already had a better suicide squad arkham concept called: put the arkham knight on the sucide squad you idiots'#and also like IM NOT A SLADE FAN BUT SLADE WAS THE ONLY CHARACTER FORESHADOWED TO BE PART OF THE SUICIDE SQUAD SO LIKE. THEY SHOULDVE USED#*SHOULDVE USED HIM#and harley can stay but like actually acknowledge that this is arkhamverse harley AKA a harley where the joker died before she escaped#so she will never escape his clutches!!!!#also arkhamverse harley in the comics at least was involved with the whole uhhh Jason Situation so like. uhhhhh.#that also makes her unforgiveable#oh and like maybe use deadshot but like the one that was in the game and not the like. random new one they're using#i'll never get over the king shark's son choice. its so funny. and captain boomerang is also just. such a stupid choice#like oh yeah lets throw in randomc haracters never fuckignin arkhamverse#king sharks son is the stupidiest though#because like i was like wait. king shark dies in the movie. how is he inthis game#oh its his son. like. that stupid#god im losing my fucking mind over here
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like ik you shouldn't have a Christmas that leaves you overwhelmed and broke but have you considered this: I have a overbearing mother who is a master at guilt tripping and annoying you to where you just give in and you do whatever she's asking you to do
#i literally can't escape it my other siblings can because my sister just blocks her out and my brothers have almost no access to her#and its like.... im the only one left and shes depending on me and whenever my sister blocks her out#she comes to me and she wont stop talking about it until i tell my sister to just... consider it otherwise i will never#hear the end of it. my sister said she didnt want to come over for Christmas and every single phone call#my mum would bring up and rant abt my sister saying she doesn't want to come. even when i say i don't want to talk about it#she will KEEP talking and its like oh my god why do you want all of us to be miserable#and this time it was like all my fault because i got stressed out so its all my fault that i ruined Christmas because#this season is not a good time for me??? yea its all my fucking fault and maybe if i didnt get overwhelmed my sister would want to come#over. and they wonder why im suicidal. im sorry my natural emotions ruined some day for you theyre not all going to be fucking perfect man
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More multiverse things, Syn belonging to @seasidemew witnesses the horrors known as Intrusion au and he goes ooooh that's going in my basket
Au ventures
Syn observed the gateway to another dimension it shimmered and crackled like lightning, his tail swished behind him before he slowly passed through. The passageways in this area were usually only one way, not allowing the entities from in the other worlds through because they were considered too dangerous and he wanted to know how bad it really was or if it was just some weaklings over exaggerating. Besides apparently it was a point of interest involving the two mewtwo he'd become curious of.
The rain harshly bit into his skin cold and heavy as the sky rumbled fully blackened, a quick psychic shield helped shelter from the worst of it as he sneered. A blur shot past just in front of him and he vaguely made out glowing yellow, he didn't get to think long as the body was slammed back into the ground by another with a swift downwards kick. They floated in place a short stubby tailed mewtwo, could've been May but the coloring was off as though she was graying sickeningly like, large scars like a claw down her face over her eye a ghostly purple with flecks of glow and the eye itself deep gray with a frantic white pupil that flicked to look at him. The individual started to slowly turn their head to look at him, the other half of their face covered by a robotic helmet.
He readied energy in his palms to use, if they wanted a fight he'd give it they looked like they had plenty energy to take after all. A dark blue hand grabbed their ankle causing them to look before they were slammed down from the sky into the ground, he slowly lowered his hands in some disappointment following the elongated stretched arm to its owner. He smirked recognising the jagged chest crystal, so Darkness was here and mega at that. She didn't let go as her body turned swinging her arm and the person she was holding onto her arm snapping through tree trunks from the sheer speed and force of her momentum before the body of the person slammed into the side of a small rocky mountain.
Her arm retracted back to its usual size as she leapt into the air flying around to the dusty crater she'd created in the mountain hands becoming fists and upon the first sight of the other still inside of the dip her arm shot forward punching straight into their form, pulling back as the other shot out striking again and again and again the sound of bones crunching and flesh being pulverized being beyond audible as he observed with some surprise. He knew Darkness was capable of killing and she'd committed quite a few crimes from what he could gather but even he felt as though the repeated beating of this no doubt fleshy puddle of an individual was a bit excessive.
Her fists were covered in blood and hunks of flesh by the time she finally finished, her tail swaying as she watched the plumes of dust and smoke billow and shift in the gusts of wind. She winced mega form shattering as she grasped at her chest, he could make out bruising even on her dark skin amongst many wounds, clearly he'd arrived at the end of the fight. He moved to go converse to learn what was happening when he spotted the bloody mass twitch.
Their insides were blackened as their body twitched, an arm snapped back into place, repairing itself as their body began to slowly sit up before laughing.
"You think that I just get to die now," he knew that voice, the infectious positive tone now cold bitter and harsh biting with her words as the metal mask fell off of her face in chunks revealing a brown eye. "After all I've dealt with, you think you just get to tell me that's enough as though you have a moral high ground to stand on?" May stood her body still bruised but repaired from the bloody state it had been in.
She lunged forward though he barely registered her move stopped only by a protect barrier weakly formed around the other shadow Pokémon, May swung her tail slamming it into and then through the boundary once more sending Darkness hurtling through the sky right into the ground. She shot upwards as Darkness lay in the dirt with a pained groan. Before she could move May plummeted down slamming feet first into the soft flesh of her sisters stomach forcing out a choked scream as organs ruptured inside her body.
He watched in morbid curiosity as a glow saw May holding down Darkness' chest and arm under her mega evolved foot the other planting itself in the ground as a large hand wrapped the head of the dark hued mewtwo. Darkness pawed with one hand at her sisters arm, crying out in despair as she attempted to move her legs wanting to kick and shove only to find she couldn't.
Darkness started to whimper and cry her grasping becoming desperate choked struggled breaths of pleading and begging attempting to struggle to free her other arm to do anything, he only realized what was happening as he heard the sounds of cracking, Mays hand squeezed compressed and crushed the head of her begging sister an eyeball began to pop from it's socket before with a finally crack and squelch her hand closed into a fist as Darkness stopped moving.
Blood seeped out from the space between her thumb and first finger before her hand slowly opened fingers coated in blood bits of splintered bone and the muscle known as the brain before her flat palm slammed into the ground effectively splattering what was left across the mud. Her bloodied hand lifted and hovered over the crystal still glowing brightly in the chest. Psychic energy covered it and ripped it from the corpse as she stepped off of her sisters body pressing her weight into the shoulder as she shifted causing it to pop, shattering the bone as her feet stepped into the wet mud.
"I know you're in there, can you sense me?" The crystal floated in front of her dripping blood, "hm… this is goodbye." Her mouth opened slowly with black flames waving and flaring out past her lips before she exhaled, the fire flew from her mouth engulfing the synergy crystal that was Darkness, roaring and swirling into the air it reached into the world with it's locks of heat before sizzling away into the rain to nothing leaving behind in the place of the once dazzling yellow orange crystal a dull gray lump devoid of any aura or energy signature. Quietly it splintered and crumbled to dust as she turned her palm letting the last of her sister join the dirt as her body returned to its natural state.
Syn lent backwards where he hovered, processing what he had witnessed, watching the blood mix into the mud and dirt with the rain, the body of the other shadow Pokémon lying there limp and quickly cooling. He looked to May or whatever she'd become as the other looked back with direct eye contact. Hands grabbed his shoulders and he was yanked backwards.
He hit the flooring hard as he was half thrown backwards groaning at the bump which turned into a growl as he snapped his head up, "what was that for?!-" his words quickly died as he stared at the May he recognised stood in front of the gateway. She turned her head to look at him slowly, both eyes brown thankfully.
"You're not meant to go into those other universes without a tether or someone to bring you back, you could've become added to that world." Her usually bright bubbly tone was a bit quieter and more serious than usual. She moved over to him, walking and held her hand out to him. "Sorry for throwing you like that, I saw you go through and worried you might have already become too intertwined to come back without a fight." He took her hand as she helped pull him up, registering the strength and grip of her hold.
His expression melted into that of calm and confidence, "nice to know you worry about me," his eyes scanned her over seeing her expression turn unimpressed. "Thank you, for the lifeline out of there." She raised an eyebrow but seemed to accept it, sighing as she took her hand back turning towards the building and after a beat he moved to follow.
"So, have you ever been through that passageway?" He inquired, wondering what she knew of that world and what she could tell him.
"I don't need to, a version of me already exists in there, and so I know everything that she knows."
"Was that you that I saw?"
"Yes," her tone was somber, her expression falling slightly as he regarded her.
"You must hate her for what she did then? And whatever else she's done." He couldn't help but prod at the subject to see what information that she would give, after what he just witnessed he was overflowing with questions, from what he gathered of her she was very protective of her family so what changed? He needed to know. What could drive her to such brutality. His curiosity was between caution and morbid intrigue to learn how far she could be pushed. A May with such durability and coldness joined in a hivemind with him would be certainly something.
"I can't hate her, I know what she's been through, I have felt it all from the emotions to the pain. I pity her and hope one day her hurting stops even if she's done horrible things. She's me, after all," May turned her head and for a moment her eye was gray, her white pupil meeting his, "she hates herself enough." with a blink her eye was brown and she stepped into the building leaving his line of sight.
Syn hovered outside with more questions than answers, but he did know one thing, the more he learnt the more he wanted to know. He shook his head floating into the building, maybe he could learn more from Darkness.
#My writing#@seasidemew Syn#@seasidemew oc#Tw blood#Tw brains#Tw death#Tw murder#Tw violence#Intrusion au is a brutal violent au. This was an adapted scrapped fight that would've happened#Syn really sees a version of May that brutally kills her sister and then sees another version and very much checking it's a normal one#But also Syn sees her crush someone's skull and goes god can't wait to make a hivemind with her#Unless he'd actually be put off at the idea of her in certain circumstances being able to potentially beat him#Tho he probably sees himself as stronger than Darkness so he might go oh great a version of her that can help prune out the weaklings#Idk I just wanted to write violence and Syn just there like *what the fuck is happening*#Syn also like *damn girl when u be so strong*#And May hating herself lmao#She's my oc and she can get self loathing as a treat (this is not a treat XD)#Never go wandering into Aus without a way to escape or you might get trapped lmao#And I guess multiverse lore the versions in this world are aware of all their other universes experiences so she knows what's up#May gets second hand trauma experience#Syn will probably eventually start getting awareness of his other version selves like oh knowleg#Again it's just Syn tryna learn more about the people he's intrigued by he gotta scope em out make sure they'd be a good partner#Context for intrusion au is basically Mays horrible fucked up no good day and now she's the thing she hated lmao#Tw gore
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ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.
#vent. sort of.#okay. why do i have absolutely no clue what i want or like. like in life. career/job/college/life etc wise. no interests beyond casual.#and amateur level interests. which is fine but i don’t think i want them to go higher and therefore aren’t careers you know. i like them#for fun. but like all my friends have interests and things they’re studying or doing that i hear it and i’m like oh my god yeah that’s them#that’s perfect. that’s so them. of course. makes perfect sense. and they have the history of hobbies and interest in the topic to back that#choice up. but me? man i have fucking nothing. i feel like i have been in survival mode forever and i literally have not had the opportunit#or ability to develop myself and my interests or even my fucking STYLE or ANYTHING!!! it seems worthless FOR ME. WHY????????#that’s the survival mode talking. but like what am i supposed to do now. i feel like a fucking shell of a person. like the only thing that#passes through this brain is whatever my current hyperfixation is and whatever new hell/trauma/issue i’m dealing with in my life. that’s it#man i remember being a kid and having vibrancy and passion and interests. and it just left. maybe it left when my brother was born when i#was 10. maybe it left during any one of the traumautic experiences or abuse during my teenage years.#but then i wonder what my friends see. like do i have interests and likes in their eyes? i mean space has been My Thing to my friends for#years now but even my interest and love for that was a coping mechanism (escapism) and i’m not interested in the science beyond what i can#use to cope and mentally escape or use in my head as hope for escape.#MAN i feel like i’m so fucked. like i don’t know what the fuck to do. i don’t want to do anything. maybe i’m depressed?#i mean i know i do and have dealt with depression but i mean maybe that’s what this is from.#maybe i’m autistic? maybe adhd and maybe that’s why i have whims and phases that never stick? i don’t know.#maybe it’s from the dysphoria? maybe it’s like bc i can’t picture a future for myself bc of that? probably not cuz i have trans friends who#do indeed have solid interests and senses of self.#so. i don’t fucking know.#i don’t fucking know. i don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m falling behind and like i’ll never get out and i’ll never get my head into#my own real life and the present in order to figure out who i am and what i like and want. i’ve got NOTHING. HEAD. EMPTY. WHAT THE FUCK.#what the fuck. what do people do when they run up against this problem. i don’t know.#maybe this rn is just because i’m on my period. i don’t know. fuck.#maybe it’s dissociation. or like FROM my lifelong dissociation issues. hmm.#okay but THEN i’m like okay this is a really privileged problem to have like. i have a choice in what i want to do. which is nice. and i am#not even being rushed by my family. so like. then i feel even worse for feeling this way. fuck. maybe it’s fine maybe it’s all fine.#maybe this just happens sometimes and a person has no interests and it’s fine. i don’t fucking know. doesn’t seem to be that way for most#people but maybe. who knows#vent
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update on the voice problem i recognized a voice actor i haven't heard in 10+ years
#FAIRY TAIL GRAY FULLBUSTER'S VOICE. OH MY GOD#im in disarray. first natsu in genshin as one of my faves and now gray in blue lock as the guy who made me want to watch it 💀#i can never escape fairy tail
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12 hour shifts should be illegal. Holy hell.
#venting. Feel free to scroll past#so tired of being stuck in a hole of a town#you try to look for a job and it's like hey! your options are: 10 jobs where there's never enough people working and you have to do#5 tasks at once or 3 jobs where you slave your entire day away in a factory with hypersurveillance and no social interaction#and hey haha maybe you'll get a break?? It's totally not guaranteed in your first 10 options hahaha#FUCK#the nearest marginally okay job is an hour away#gas cost is up the fuckin roof#but hey! there's ways of getting around earning money. You could buy something and make other people's lives more miserable by letting them#borrow it and holding power over them because there's no place to escape to except for another person who owns their shit :)#LIKE YOUR FUCKING HOUSE#AND YOUR CAR#AND THE MONEY YOU SAVE FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR CAR THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE MOST OF THE TIME#GOD KNOWS I CANT FIX MY GODDAMN TEETH#you could join the shitshow that is online investing- sorry i mean advanced pyramid scheming with a little bit of actual stake in the world#please. please oh my god#the only way to make things even a little easier is to live in a housefull of 5-6 working people but god. At least kids don't have to#work anymore because of government assistance. But once you're an adult with anything a tad over minimum wage? You're on your own buddy#Life was never supposed to be about living hand to mouth. We surpassed that way of living as soon as agriculture became a thing.#automation. surplus. the ability to relax can be mass produced.#please. i just want a job to support the few people i have without turning into some stressed asshole that either sleeps or rages at them
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I love love love my dear Entropy I think about her all the time I love her <33 I have to write about her she is always in my thoughts. Don't click these tags open unless you really want to read them there is . There's lots. THERE WERE TOO MANY IT KILLED SOME OF THEM. WHY DIDN'T IT TELL ME TAG LIMIT I KEPT TYPUNG !!! That's so sad and I can't even put the rest that I typed up here bc I forgot it already because my brain fucking sucks. Whatever whatever whatever rahggg beams Entropy thoughts directly into your brain you know exactly what I mean now
#tide of consciousness#Trying to figure out if my obsession with fucked up scientists right now is because I am thinking of her all the time#Or if I'm thinking of her all the time because of my obsession with fucked up scientists right now#Much akin to ouroboros the end is the beginning and all that#I've been so distraught over the fact that she's not even supposed to be a character in the story#That I nearly forgot I can just make a different story about her ^^ so I write#Oc: Entropy.#Idk man just look upon the face of the unfathomable adversity and impossible reality and destroy yourself trying to flee#She's got so many problems all of them mine all of them hers to deal with and mine to ignore 👍#Literally I'll go ohhh wow that's a new fucked up brain thing I just realized I do.#👉 Go in the Entropy. That's Not My Problem now#She can figure it out#I like to imagine that all situations and people around her are exceedingly normal while she's going insane#She could be in a room full of people with normal lives and she would just sit there and think about The Problems#She's like if you went too deep in your head and then never left. She looks like 😑 and inside her brain she's spiraling into infinity#What if it all felt pointless and fake and none of it felt worth it and then you got express confirmation that those are not just feelings#And are in fact true and real . I mean she never gets that confirmation she just happens to be right and since nothing ever opposes this#Point of view she never thinks to question it and she has no friends or close family and she doesn't talk to anyone#So she just lives in this reality that is true and oh my god she wants out so bad but it's true? It's just real? And she can't can't can't#:)) she's so fine . She's so fineohhhh dot mention#And she keeps coming up with ways to fix this and finding things that feel like escapes#But in the end it all only makes it worse because she's incapable of existing in any way other then digging that hole deeper#She HAS to chase it she HAS to push it she HAS to break it she will always always always keep digging that hole.#It's predestined it's predetermined the outcome existed before she existed there is no other choice but to keep going#And the funny thing is she never realizes that everything she ever does to try to stop this predetermined SOMETHING#That she is only VAGUELY aware of#Is only ever going to bring her closer to it anyway. The only way for it to stop is for her to stop existing#Except that's not it either and she doesn't want that anyway. There is no other choice#Her every step is defined by this end point and always will be and always has been and it's haunting her so fucking bad#She wants to live so bad and she wants to die so bad but she doesn't want to die at all but to live is to exist
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